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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: (F21) with boyfriend (22M) of 4 months, happy relationship about to become long distance, any advice to help keep the spice alive? POST: First of all, the amount of time we've been together is complicated; I want to say it's been 9 months because that's how long we've been "fwb" so to speak, but officially dating for 4 months. My boyfriend and I both just graduated from college where we met, and our relationship is awesome and I truly couldn't be happier or ask for a more open, caring, understanding partner. Next month, we will both be leaving; I will be starting a teaching job in Hungary, and he will be working in Australia, both for around one year. We had plans to leave the country before we met each other, and at first we didn't intend to date because of the difficulties this would cause, but then feelings happened, and you can guess the rest. So now we are trying to think of ways to keep our relationship alive and happy while we are apart. Being physical is very important in our relationship and so I worry about not having this anymore. We have made videos of ourselves, and we are seasoned "sext"ers. Aside from this, we don't want our relationship to slip into being mundane, and so we are trying to think of fun things we can share, work on together from afar, etc. Lastly, I myself worry about our situation in the sense that I can't shake the negative "what if"s. Right now I know for certain that he would never cheat on me or anything like that, he thinks the world of me. But I've heard so many stories of previously faithful people getting bored, lonely, or curious and taking it too far. Any advice from those who have been in a similar situation, how did you handle it, and/or what might you have changed? Or, any ideas of ways to keep excitement in a long distance relationship? TL;DR:

Boyfriend and I will be moving to different countries, what can we do to stay emotionally close, alleviate the physical longing, and keep things exciting?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19 M] with my GF [18 F] 2 years, I didn't get my shit together, and now she's gone and I feel lost POST: So, just basically my girlfriend and I had a bout, and it just got to the point where we ended up not being in a relationship. She said that for her it is just hard to see past my faults, and I don't blame her whatsoever because my faults are glaring (Not losing weight, complaining about my job, not doing well in school). I know it's my fault I lost her, but I just need help, because I feel so broken right now. She was the last thing I felt like I had keeping myself together, and right now I'm just in shambles. Please. TL;DR:

Girlfriend of 2 years ended it with me, understandably, for not having my shit together. I just need help not hurting.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: When did customer service stopped caring? POST: My sister is starting her residency next week in another town a few hours from my home. She bought furniture from Rooms to Go about a month ago. Flash forward to this weekend, I am helping her move and we just get a call from Rooms to Go that her furniture, the one she purchases a month ago, has been discontinued. They refunded everything, but my sister is in tears because she does not have any furniture and she starts her new job this Monday. I call the store and get the BP apology. I demanded to speak to the manager and I got the "he's busy." I called corporate to complain and got the same apathetic apology. At least I got a reason as to why they ran out, "Open Inventory," meaning they do not know how much furniture they have until they load it on the truck. The best way to handle this is to never give them my business again; vote with my dollar. And it seemed both the store and corporate did not care if they lost a customer. But my sister is left without furniture and is about to begin her first year of residency Monday. Neither the store or the corporate offered to a) to reselect furniture at the same price we bought it (all of the furniture was on sale and my sister cannot afford to spend more than what she spent in the first place). And, which I believe is more important, b) deliver it by today. Maybe I am being selfish, but if I am going to buy something from you, please treat me with respect, through the entire sales process. I agree some customers can be dicks, but that never gives you an excuse to act like one. TL;DR:

Sister bought furniture from Rooms to Go a month ago. Furniture discontinued, sis left without furniture and starts work on Monday. Store and corporate do not care.

SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps TITLE: why is my ex (25/m) furious at me (24/f) after being broken up for 2 years? POST: A little background before getting into the problem: My ex and I were together for a year and a half before we broke up in the summer of 2011. He cheated on me with three of his female coworkers while away on a trip to Australia. When he came back to the US he didn't mention any of the cheating and decided to made up a random excuse to end our relationship. I later found out the truth from a close friend and it was that a few weeks prior to breaking up with me he began a relationship with one of the women he had slept with. I cried of course and dealt with the pain I felt. But after a few months I was dating again and I met my current boyfriend who I love very much. The problem: Around a month ago my ex called me several times in one day so I answered. I saw no reason to hold a grudge since it's been such a long time since things ended between us. But once we got past greetings things got really weird. When I asked him why he was calling he got strangely furious and we had the following dialogue- Him: You're just going to ask me just like that? Me: Well yeah, I'd like to know. Him: You're asking me like we talk to each other everyday...as if we were just speaking yesterday. You know what, never mind it's not like you'd even care what I have to say. Goodnight. And then we hung up. I texted him later and said "maybe it's best if we don't talk. I don't have any interest in being friends but I was just curious as to why you wanted to speak so urgently. In any case I would appreciate it if you didn't try to call or contact me again" He then replied with "Yeah okay, bye" and we haven't talked since. I'm really confused. I know for a fact that he's happy at a new job and he's in a relationship (though I'm unsure if it's with the same woman he cheated with) so why is he contacting me and being weird about it? I really don't understand what his issue is. TL;DR:

my ex and i broke up two years ago and recently tried to make contact. when I asked why he got very upset with me and hung up the phone. what did I do wrong and why is he acting this way?

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by not using belt. POST: This actually happened today morning. Basically what happened was that my wife asked me to move 2, pretty big and heavy, flower pots to our backyard. Let me tell you, these things are heavy as fuck when full of dirt, diameter was problably about 20 cm and height was about 40 cm. Since im pretty lazy, I usually don't wear anything other than boxers on my lower body or after showering in the morning I sit in my computer wrapped in a towel). I grabbed the first pants I saw, put them on and got to the business. (keep in mind that I showered this morning and did not have boxers on) Here comes the fuck up part. I was already outside, by the side of our house. I had couple meters to go and I could feel that my pants were getting lower and lower, and I was trying to walk with my legs as much separated from eachother as much as possible. You know, we all have been there. Because I had so little more to go and *things* got really critical I started walking as fast as I could/half running. Little did I know, as I started moving as fast as I could, I slipped and fell forward. The pose that I was in after falling was following - 2 arms wrapped around the the flower pot,my body on top of the pot, pants to my knees and my dick touching the side of the pot. Situation couldn't get worse, *right?*. Ofcourse it could! I shit you not, the exact same moment that I was in the worst situation (the moment after falling) my fucking neighbour stepped out of her house. Pretty sweet girl, in her 20s, we grill pretty often together in the summer. Her front door has a very clear view to the side of our house and her door opens so that the first thing she sees is the spot where i was. I don't know what her reaction was since I panicked as soon as I saw her looking at me, put on my pants and ran inside. TL;DR:

didn't wear belt or boxers, fell with flower pot in my hands, cool girl friend neighbor saw me hugging a flower while my dick was touching the side of it.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Tonight my friend refused to let me leave a 25% tip on a dinner with good service, citing a societal rule that "The person who pays the bill dictates the tip." What societal rules, ridiculous or not, have you heard people cite? POST: Tonight, a friend decided to take me and a few other friends out to dinner tonight at a nice local restaurant. We were seated right away, our servers were nice, and our dinner was served in a timely manner. The food, as usual at this place, was good and, when the $80 bill came, I offered to pay the tip. Liking the place and the servers (along with having some familial ties to the restaurant), I decided that I would give a $20 tip. Upon seeing this, my friend rushed to have me put away my 20 and insisted on paying the tip himself, saying that mine was simply "too much." When I pushed the issue, he said that the amount of the tip was to be dictated by the person who pays the bill, insisting that this was a "societal rule" that I couldn't break. In my annoyance, I wondered what other "societal rules" existed so that, if I run into a problem similar to this, I can make a point to somehow work around the rule or, if that is too difficult, ignore it all together. TL;DR:

I try to tip $20 on a good $80 meal. Friend paying bill refuses it, saying that "person paying bill decides tip." I'm curious about other societal rules.

SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: 17M Help on the approach POST: So over the weekend I went to a local lake/campground/beach and was fishing, and while I was fishing a couple of attractive girls approached and sat down on the dam from which I was fishing. Now I wanted to go over and talk to them, however as the title states I wasn't entirely sure how to. Personally, I am a very quiet guy when out in public with people I don't know-but am a very confident and bold person with my friends at home/their places. Now I'm saying I am not confident, but I just don't know how to approach them in conversation. The next day the same thing happened. So possibly could my appearance help to improve those chances? For both days I was wearing aviator-style shades and had on athletic shorts, a plain tee-shirt, and sandals. I am extremely dark complected for a white male if that helps for what colors would look best to impress. Also I'd like to know what would be the best way to start the conversation or what to talk about. TL;DR:

Need help on how to approach girls at the lake/beach. What should I wear? I am generally fishing when I am there as well.

SUBREDDIT: r/self TITLE: Need concept and idea help for the best/most epic prosthetic leg artwork. POST: Ok, I am getting a new prosthetic socket for my left leg in a couple of weeks and I have one of Brisbane's best airbush guys to do the work for me. I will have this for a couple of years at least so im putting the effort and money for it to be osmething special. I am a 20yo male and have thought of maybe C3PO leg or a Terminator Leg so it looks robotic. I dont have a knee so the socket is from the end of my femur (thigh bone) up to my groin/hip, and i need help with something epic to get painted on it. The tricky part of designing something is that it goes all the way round like a cyclinder rather then a peice of paper. What are some other things i could get put on?? I am mostly a huge show-off with my leg so lots of people see it and the awesomeness (future). When completed I will throw up copious amounts of photo's. I am driving from London to Cape Town next January so i attempted to design an African safari landscape with animals but my artistic ability is similar to a chimp and was not working out for me at all. Homorous things are DEFINATELY available, nothing is out of bounds. TL;DR:

need artistic help for new prosthetic socket to get airbrushed. want something special and/or awesomely hilarious.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [21/M] keep dreaming of cheating on my SO [22/f] POST: This has been bothering me for some time, and I don't really want to discuss it with my friends, as I feel it would be disrespectful to her. I have a healthy relationship with my SO. We've been together for a year and a half, and it has being going great. I am head over heels for her, and she for me. We've lived together for months at a time, and since I left university have been semi-long-distance (100 miles), but still see each other every week or two for a weekend. She is genuinely the one for me, as sometimes you just know, right? However, one thing that bugs me is that since I moved away from university, is that every 3-4 weeks, I dream of cheating on her. It is with the most random people, almost all of whom I don't find particularly hot IRL. This morning I woke with a feeling something was vaguely wrong, then on getting to work and seeing the in-house caterer, realised I'd dreamed of taking her on a date and shagging her. It really weirds me out. I think it is because I find the fantasy, if not the reality, of cheating really hot. I once cheated on an ex years ago and felt utterly awful. But the idea turns me on. Forbidden fruit, I suppose. But what creeps me out is that it has crept into my subconscious, where I do in my dreams what I would never consider in real life. I'm not really sure what to do about this. I've always fantasised about cheating without ever really wanting to do it. But the dreams make me feel much more fundamentally immoral. I certainly don't want to tell her about this, I just don't see how it could do any good. TL;DR:

Have healthy relationship with SO. Keep dreaming about cheating on her, but don't want to in reality. What do?

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by quitting Prozac cold turkey. POST: TIFU up quitting Prozac cold turkey. I've been taking it for about a year now for major depression. At first it worked wonderfully and I for the first time in my life I felt good. I started working out and lost 40 pounds in about 6 months. Suddenly the meds stopped working. I went back to the doctor and he upped the dosage. That worked for a while but I became numb to it and the depression returned. By now I'm getting pretty desperate because my mom killed herself and my brother pushed himself into a heroin addiction that took his life. Apparently I scream and yell out in my sleep and my wife is scared for me as well. And I Gaines all the weight back. Damn. So anyways I was reading in the local paper paper about this drug called Ayahuasca. People in my state (Ky) found a loophole in the law that allows you to take this drug if your a member of he Indian church. Ayahuasca apparently heals people from depression and drug addiction so I figured I would give it a try. But you can't mix it with prozac because it can be potentially dangerous. So I decided to quit prozac cold Turkey in preparation for the ayahuasca ceremony. This turned out to be a huge fuck up. I have been off the drug to about two weeks and have been feeling pretty good until this morning. I was slammed with a huge anxiety attack. I experienced vertigo and shakiness and I just was freaking out hard. I drive a delivery truck for a living and I had to pull over for about an hour. I feel better now and am back on the route. I had no idea you couldn't stop taking this stuff cold turkey like i did. I feel like there really needs to be a stern warning when prescribed this stuff. TL;DR:

I stopped taking prozac because it is no longer working for my depression and I want to give Ayahuasca a shot. Apparently quitting Prozac is a bad fucking idea. Had a major panic attack at work.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Early stages of courtship and guy asks girl to come over - is this normal? POST: Hi, I'm 31/f, unsure of what's normal anymore. Lately, in the last few years or so, it seems the dating ritual unfolds as follows: date 1, get a sense of each other on a casual date in public to see if there's reason for a second date; date 2, there's interest and you get to know each other further in a public setting. By date 3, even the most gentlemen of them are sometimes asking to be invited over to my place. What gives?! Am I abnormal for thinking this feels a bit rushed (and sometimes worry for my personal security), when you're practically still strangers? TL;DR:

after 2-3 dates in public, is it normal to guys to be asking themselves over to watch a movie or whatever private activity? Are there valid security concerns here?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (now ex) BF [20 M] feels that I [19 F] don't inspire him and teach him enough to be with him POST: My boyfriend suddenly broke up with me claiming that I dont teach him enough things, and I dont inspire him to be work harder for things. He is a nice person and we get along well, but he has a personality quirk. He always needs to be "good" at whatever he does. Its a trait he has that he both likes and dislikes. On one hand it makes him improve very quickly, on the other hand he is constantly beating himself up over not being good enough. He has recently told me that he feels he is always helping me with things and I dont teach him anything. I'm confused by this because I dont recall him teaching me many things besides some ultimate frisbee related things. He also claims that I dont work hard enough towards one thing I'm passionate about that it inspires him to work hard towards other things as well. I was confused by this because I spend much of my time working on throws and just getting better at ultimate in general. One example he used to explain how he feels like "he has to help me with eveyrthing", was when we were throwing he was teaching me how to use the right form (I'm relatively new to the sport, and he's a very experience player), and felt that because of this, he couldn't work on his long throws. I didn't understand the way he felt because during that time I never once said "please don't practice your throws, just help me instead". But he feels that because we're dating he "has to help me" otherwise he would be a "bad boyfriend" and that goes back to his personality that makes him have a need to be good at everything. He said that he likes me for everything else but because of "helping me" he feels that our relationship has moved to more a friend dynamic. I'm completely lost as to what to say and I'm not sure if what he wants is reasonable for a partner. TL;DR:

My boyfriend suddenly broke up with me claiming that I dont teach him enough things, and I dont inspire him to be work harder for things. Is this normal?

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Hey Reddit, I need advice. I may have messed up my chances with a awesome girl in a Seinfeld-esque mishap. POST: Okay, so I live in Australia where the drinking age is 18. I'm 19 and I was at this trendy bar. I was waiting for some friends and I was hitting the Bacardi 151 pretty hard, I guess that was my first mistake. After my friends got there, I met this really pretty girl. So I start making small talk with her (what are you drinking, where have you been tonight), when she asks if I like comics. Shabam. Then she asks if I like video games. Double shabam. So I'm waiting for the hidden cameras at the moment. Anyway, she told me she was 21 and me, with all my great, drunken reasoning, decide to tell her I was 21 as well. Thinking that she would think I was a loser if I was younger than her. (I don't even... blame the Bacardi I guess). So I got her number and we're going out for dinner and drinks on Sunday. At this point I figure I have 3 options. 1. When I see her, just tell her straight up. 2. Don't bring it up and see what happens. 3. Commit identity fraud and live the rest of my life 2 years older. TL;DR:

Told a girl I was 21 while drunk, I'm actually 19. We're going on a date on Sunday, how do I break it to her?

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, I need your sage and mildly passive aggressive advice... POST: I have been living in an apartment in Raleigh, NC for about 6 months. I've been living with 3 people I have known for the past few years. We will call them: Steve, Brian, and Jenna. So, Brian is "God's gift to women" (in his own head) and any woman married or not is gonna be totally into him and his hot hot body. We can't have women over at the house or else he will hit on them and make passes at them ask them if they want a "massage". I tried having this friend of mine over (not Karen) she's very pretty but about to get married and he is all over her even when I tell him to fuck off he's done this with Steve's ladies as well. He leaves the kitchen a mess he leaves bowls and dirty dishes out for DAYS and will nag us to death if we don't pick up our stuff right away. He is always losing a job for stupid shit like being negligent (around million dollar aircraft). The last straw, however, was when he went over to our neighbor's (Karen, Steve, and their guest Mike). Mike was visiting from Chapel Hill and calls up Brian, Steve knows this and is ok with him coming over, Karen gets home after the call and doesn't know he's coming over. He walks in grabs a beer and they hang out for a while. Then without asking for permission or being invited to starts kissing/sucking on Karen's neck. She tries to push him off of her and he doesn't move. Mike is all "that's not cool," and tries to get him off of her. So now Karen is pissed, I'm pissed and my roommates are pissed. We want him gone. What I am asking for is just advice on the best way to kick his ass out and what reasons to give as to why. Thanks. TL;DR:

Roommate is an asshole and sexually assaulted a mutual friend we need to find a way to kick his ass out.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [Summer games have begun] Girlfriend went to hang out with a guy friend at midnight.... didnt hear anything from till mid afternoon. [M/30 dating [f/34] POST: My girlfriend is the nicest person you would ever meet, she also seems to inadvertently lead on many, many guys.... Guys flirting with her over text has been a major issue (even as she claim she NEVER flirts back). Regardless she went out with a friend the other night, a little background he is a foreign exchange student and has some very popular 3rd world disease that everyone has, she is a germ a phobe... so them messing around didn't seem an issue. What pissed me off is that their hangout started at midnight... she tried to play it off of how he as not contacted her and PROBABLY not going out, as I could hear her do her makeup over the phone. She did the ill call you right back and almost hour later hear back from her, saying they going out. Last I heard from her till mid afternoon, did not get a "I got home safe" or "Im home now" "where I slept, what we did etc" Finally I get the "have not heard from you today are you ok" Then I get a series of questions of what I did last night, what I did in the morning , and what I did in the afternoon. Oddly enough that day I was envited to a huge family party, mentioned this, and was too busy to get into the details (taste of what I went through). Thats the last we spoke... This are shitty stupid games, any idea of how to handle this as an adult? TL;DR:

Girlfriend pulled an all night hang out with a neutral friend, no communication with me, So I did the same.. how to handle like an adult?

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: How do you break up with somebody you care about? POST: I met my boyfriend in the spring of last year, and everything was great at first. He adored me, we spent time together, we seemed to enjoy each others company for 6 months. Then, came winter. As soon as the ski resorts opened thats all he wants to do. I see him once/twice a week and he never comes back when he says he is going to. Last night for instance. He told me last Wednesday he'd be back Sunday night and he could have taken a shuttle back into town, but he didn't. Once again I got off work excited to see my baby who never called or showed. I'm sure I'll get a call from him today like nothing is wrong. Maybe it won't be today, who knows. I care for this guy, but he'll obviously never be the person I want in my life. He can't he even be honest with me it seems. The sex has dwindled to nothing. We used to have crazy sex and now I'm lucky to get two minutes of blah action. We've already gotten in fights about all of this. I've sat in my car with tears rolling down my face and he always comes out and gets me. Saying, "We've made it work this long, I think you're the coolest chick I ever met," and I always come back. Not today. Today I need to stand my ground. I don't want to be mean. We came into this as people and I want to leave it as people. Its going to be hard because I don't want to let him go, but for my own mental sanity, I have no choice but to do so. I spent almost a decade of my life in a different relationship giving someone chance after chance only to end up bitter and hateful. I don't see an e-mail being fit, because I think he deserves a chance to say something even if that something is mean or wrong. I always end up silent on the telephone, and in person, I always seem to take him back. How do I go about breaking up with this person civilly and explaining all the reasons why. Should I tell him all the reasons why? Please help me. TL;DR:

I need help breaking up with my boyfriend of almost a year civilly. He isn't the man I fell in love with anymore but I still care so much for him.

SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining TITLE: Family members not cooperating regarding dog training. POST: Pretty much title. What do I do with a family that can't and won't listen to what I tell them regarding dog training? I try to tell them that they have to be consistent about what they do when my dog jumps on them, or does other behaviours I/we don't want them to do. My mom and dad hate it when the dog jumps, and my elder brother (as the only one), purposefully plays and scratches him when he jumps him to greet him. I'm almost at my wits end, I'm basically about to explode everytime my dad yells "No!" to the dog, WHILE FRIGGIN' SCRATHING AND PLAYING WITH THE DOG. Of course when I try to politely tell him that what he's doing is the wrong approach, he gets very defensive, and expects me to not know anything about dogs, even though I'm the one feeding, training and walking the dog, while also studying about dogs and dogtraining daily. Sorry for ranting, but it gets really frustrating to try to train a dog, when no one in the whole house cooperates, let alone the visitors.. TL;DR:

Family members not cooperating, actually reinforcing bad behaviour, despite me repeating to them that what they're doing is wrong. What do I do?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [M21] with my Ex-Girlfriend/Close Friends [18F] of 5 years, says we have chemistry but.. POST: My ex-girlfriend(naming her L) met in the beginning of our freshman year of high school and we were just friends to start out with. Half way through of freshman year she tells me she likes me and we start dating again. Things were great but it was a relationship. We just messed around sexually and never really got for into it. We break up and 5 years pass. We meet again in our freshman year of college together. We haven't really talked a lot since the break up and decided we can just be friends. We start getting closer and closer as friends when all of the sudden, we both start seeing someone and was caught up with it. My girlfriend at the time broke up with me and L was there for me. A month or so passes from my break up and L starts getting really close to me as in emotionally and notices that I'm a different guy than I was in High School and tells me she really likes me but shes seeing this guy shes been with for 5 months and doesn't wanna end it. Shes not extremely happy with her current relationship with him. We were talking the other day and she texted me this: "I have so much chemistry with you. Like being around you. Sometimes i think i'd like to be with you but other times..idk it just makes me sick to my stomach." I just told her its nerves about liking me and dropped the subject as we went to bed. What do you guys think about this? I personally feel like we should try to date but i don't wanna be a dick and make her and her current bf break up. TL;DR:

My ex girlfriend told me she likes and that we have chemistry together but she feels sick to her stomach about it sometimes. What should i do about it?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [30sF] went on 3 dates [40s/M], were texting almost daily for 2-3 weeks; haven't heard from him in a week. POST: Let me start off by saying that in new to the whole dating scene. I've never been a dating type of girl, always a relationship type of girl. Started truly dating about a month ago. I met this guy on a dating website, and we hit it off. Went on 3 dates, and we seem to connect. We talked about our background: our childhoods, our failed marriages, his kids, religious backgrounds, professions/careers, etc. Since we've started dating a couple of weeks ago we've been texting mainly everyday (5-10 minutes worth of conversation). I last heard from him a week ago saying he would be out of town for business he had for his company (a convention). I figured I wouldn't hear from him in a few days because of work. But it's been a week. I've texted him twice asking how it went, but nothing. Since our 3rd date he put his profile on the dating site hidden. I'm trying not to get paranoid because he is a single dad, and work is his peak time, but I'm afraid he may be ghosting me, or something. I'm new to the whole dating scene so I'm not sure how long should I wait before I should cut my losses. TL;DR:

Me F/30s went on 3rd date with M/40s and haven't heard from him in a week; am I being ghosted?

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Want Out of Lease, Have Rats, Unresponsive Landlord, Portland, Oregon. Need help... POST: I live in Portland, Oregon. I signed a one year lease in September. It's a terrible situation, the two girls a live with hate each other and never do dishes etc etc. We have a serious rat infestation problem. I have told the landlord, and he has said he would do something about it about a month ago but nothing has been done about it. Does anyone know of any extenuating circumstance laws on getting out of a lease because the landlord hasn't taken care of this ENORMOUS pest (these aren't mice, these are huge fucking rats that shit everywhere). Last month, one of the girls I lived with for some reason didn't pay the gas bill on time, and part of our rental agreement is that the person who lives in our basement (separate rent, electric, key) pays 10% of the gas, and we were in violation of our rental agreement and almost evicted because the gas was shut off for a day. Any links or advice or anything would be greatly appreciated. TL;DR:

Rented house has huge rat problem, landlord hasn't taken care of it, any way to legally get out of a lease in Portland, Oregon?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (20M) girlfriend (18F) doesn't want me to meet her friends and is very independent. Help me understand this so I can be a better man please. POST: Hi guys I don't know what to do so I would like some advice here. My girlfriend and I have been dating over 7 months now. In the past she didn't want me to meet some of her friends because she had a shady history that I probably don't want to know about anyway. I have just moved her into a new college and have been staying with her here at the dorms to get her set up (she asked me multiple times to stay, I'm not trying to control her). I live about 5 hours away so I won't be seeing her regularly so I'm trying to spend as much time with her as I can. She is insistent on making "her own friends" and she went to a bonfire last night and didn't want me to go because, like I said, she wanted to "make her own friends". While I'm all about her partying it up and getting the full college experience, I still want to spend time with her. I have told her time after time, if we have time to spend together I'd like to take advantage of it. I don't think she aims to cheat on me, and I know it's college so my mentality is if I don't know about it oh well. I haven't told her that tShould I be angry that she wants to do her thing or should I let it slide? She said she wanted to stay in a relationship. She's only my second girlfriend and I don't know how to behave with her. My first girlfriend was always around doing stuff with me. I don't want to control her or stifle her. Her parents love me and have told me multiple times that she is a very free spirit and will do as she wishes. I feel disrespected when she does stuff like this and embarrassed like I'm not good enough. I'd be happy to fill you in with whatever details you like. Thank you guys. TL;DR:

GF has friends she hangs out with but won't let me meet them, GF also consistently does not invite me places.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Am I (22F) overreacting to catching my BF (23M) masterbating at my house? POST: My BF and I have been together for a little over a year now. We are currently LD and have been for the last 6 months. He's visiting for Thanksgiving and is here for 5 days. When he's here we have sex at least once a day, but usually two times or more. Last night he got out of bed at 4am and was in the bathroom for quite awhile so I got up to make sure he was ok and discovered him beating it. Now don't get me wrong, I know obviously be does this when we are not together which is healthy, I do it too. But really? He didn't even try to initiate sex with me. I feel very hurt at the moment but should I? Am I overreacting by feeling hurt and undesired? TL;DR:

Caught LD BF beating it in my house, he didn't even try to sex me up and I feel bad.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26 M] with my friend[25 F] forever, I want to tell her I have developed feelings for her... POST: We've been friends for a long time, and I've had feelings for a long time, but life got in the way and I never said anything. Lately we have been spending a lot of time together and these feelings are starting to wreck me, and I feel like I need to get it out in the open. But, recently [these past two weeks] she's had some big stuff going on with her family and she's currently trying to get into grad school, and I feel like I need to be a friend right now... Am I just rationalizing to avoid rejection, or am I being a good friend? TL;DR:

I don't know what to do and I don't want to alienate someone I care about, it feels selfish to confess my feelings?

SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: Been away at college for 2 months.. don't like it.. should I go back home? POST: So I'm a second year college student. Last year I went to a junior college and so I was still living at home and working part time. I decided I wanted to get out of my house and so I decided to go to a school about an hour and a half away. I've been here two months and I hate it. I'm living in the school's apartments, which are about 2 miles from the main campus. It's a pain in the ass to get to class because I have to catch the bus. There's no parking whatsoever. I've made several friends, but none I would call good friends. I have a group of good friends that go here but we have sort of drifted apart. I've tried doing clubs and stuff, but haven't found one I really like. I have no money because I'm not working. I'm not a big partier so I feel like that alienates me from a bunch of the other college kids. I go home pretty much every weekend because if you don't go out to the one club there's basically nothing to do. Basically, I could go back home and either go back to the junior college or attend another university that's only about 45 minutes away. Either way, I would live at home and I can get my part-time job back (I'm very close to my manager and she's already asked me to come back on breaks and whatnot.) I just feel like I'm wasting a ton of gas and money going back and forth every weekend, when I could be at home, working, and near my friends who I come see most every weekend anyway. Has anyone been in a similar situation, or can offer me advice? TL;DR:

Should I move back home and commute to a closer school? The one I'm at is boring and I go home most weekends anyway.

SUBREDDIT: r/running TITLE: Need your help Runnit, I think I hurt myself POST: So over the past 8 weeks or so, I've been working to step up my game and have been incrementally increasing my distances by 0.5 miles every week, working towards my 12 mile goal. A couple of weeks ago I noticed some discomfort in my hip, last week it caused me to limp for some time after a 10 mile run (1:17:32), and today I had to stop after just 4 miles because of it. The pain is very acute, right at the pivot point of my right leg, on the apex of the groin. It makes any movement of my leg up or down hurt quite a bit. A few other variables include: - Before 8 weeks ago, the farthest I had ever run was 5 miles. - The past 4 weeks that I have gone out, my pace has quickened by about 10-15 seconds per mile (while my distances have been increasing). - I got new running shoes and insoles about 3 weeks ago (right around when the discomfort started). TL;DR:

Sharp pain at the apex of my groin, hurts to lift my leg at all for a few hours after the run, don't know why.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: What are some of the silly or trivial things that got you into trouble in school? POST: My infraction: Using the word 'copious' in an essay [11th Grade English]. I was pulled aside by the teacher after I had turned in my essay for the day. She asked me if I knew what the word 'copious' meant. I told her "a large amount of something or a huge quantity in size or volume." She called me a liar and I told her she could either believe I knew it or not. She then went on to mention that "no one else in any of my classes writes on a college level. I'm going to dock you points and make sure to keep an eye on your writings more closely." TL;DR:

I got into trouble because I wrote on a "college level," compared to the rest of the herd in English class.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [30 F] with guy I'm seeing [30 M] for a few weeks - not too much contact/enthusiasm? POST: I would appreciate some input or advice here. I'm dating again after a long term relationship ended and met a guy I really, really like. We get along great and have slept together and it was great. What's confusing me a little is I'm getting a minor sense of hot and cold. When we're together, he's super enthusiastic and has indicated that he would like this to turn into a long term thing, but the contact in between dates/seeing each other is quite sporadic. I'm not sure if I'm just being needy here, but when he gets busy, I can go a whole day or longer without hearing from him at all, not even a 'good morning' or 'how are you today?' I can see that he has been online, so he obviously has time to text other people and I wonder why he couldn't take the few seconds to text me. Most of our text contact is initiated by me. Also, he doesn't seem as enthusiastic about meeting up as he did at the very beginning (and it's still very early days). He's returning from a trip tomorrow and rather than see me tomorrow, he wants to rest/relax and see me Wednesday. If the tables were turned, I think I'd want to see him as soon as I could. Am I being needy or is he being a little lukewarm? I'm used to having a long term boyfriend and it's been a very long time since I was in the early stages of dating. I want to know what his deal is but don't want to come across as needy or demanding! TL;DR:

Guy I'm seeing is great in person but can go a long time without contacting me at all, sometimes seem a little lukewarm

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Would you wait for the one you love? [26/f] POST: I'm engaged. I have been for 9 months. I'm supposed to get married 9 months from now. I'm calling off my wedding because I'm not ready. I don't want to lose him or leave him, but I am not ready to get married. I've been going through a lot of family stuff and a lot of soul searching; trying to figure out who I am independently. I've been in relationships basically since I was 15. I'm afraid that I'll never know if I can stand on my own. I'm afraid I'll always be dependent on other people. I'm scared something will happen to my future husband and I won't have the tools I need to stand alone. Am I incredibly selfish? Am I being smart? Should he stick around if he loves me? I love him. I don't know what to do or what he should do. I'm miserable and confused. TL;DR:

Would you wait for the person you love to be ready to get married even if you already have a wedding in the works, and you're ready yourself?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Approaching a girl(F17) whom I(M18) rejected. POST: Back Story: Over the summer, this girl(F17) approached me (M18) on Facebook, and we started talking a little bit. Nothing personal or anything, it was pretty much small talk. She gave me her numbe, and we talked for about two weeks. So I took advice from a friend(Who at the time, just wanted me all to herself and advised me against doing anything with her. I don't trust that friend anymore, and we are no longer friends.), and didn't go anywhere with this. Fast forward to now, and I catch her staring at me frequently. I'm sure she still likes me, but things are a bit awkward between us. The most interaction we have is making eye contact, quite frequently, at the lunch table. I'm thinking, I'll just start texting her again, and if that seems to go well, I'll ask her out at lunch or something. I was just wanting some input as to weather or not this seemed like a good idea. (It isn't really a huge deal to me weather or not we go out, I just don't want to make a fool of myself.) TL;DR:

Girl approaches me, and I don't act on it. Still catch her staring at me all the time, and want to ask her out. Good idea?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [34F] with my BF [43 M] 10 years, not sure whether to stay POST: We have been together 10 years and I have always made it clear that I want to get married and start a family - at first just something for the future but over the last few years more seriously. He said he wanted the same things but there was always something he needed to do first in his life, mainly career-related. I feel what I want has been put second and as I get older this is more of an issue. I also am concerned we don't enjoy the same things and don't spend quality time together because of it. He seems to think things can't be fun if they're planned whereas I'm a planner. We argue about this but can't seem to resolve it or find a compromise. Day to day we get on fine but I realise I have started to resent him and am emotionally and physically distancing myself. I have tried to speak to him about what I want but he shuts me down. I wish he would be honest about what he wants as I'm starting to think it isn't what he always said, now it's crunch time. He's a decent man and I don't know whether to keep trying or start again. Advice helpful. TL;DR:

BF always said wanted to get married and have kids but it hasn't happened after 10 years together. We also disagree on spending time together. Not sure whether to stay and try to work it out or not.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I[M/17] am falling for a girl [F/16] that just moved here, but there is still a guy back home [M/?] POST: Recently there has been a girl that has moved to my city from about 2500km (~1500 miles) away. Before she moved we would talk on snapchat or text almost everyday and conversations were deep and interesting and i found we have a lot in common. When she got here we seemed to have great chemistry and we hit it off. After about a week of being here i asked here out, to which she said there was a guy back home and that my timing just wasnt very good. Initially i thought she was just being nice because she is a very kind person and didnt want to hurt my feelings. Until this weekend.... A group of friends went on camping trip for the weekend, just to get away from the city and some fun. While we were there it got confusing. I had overheard her talking with one of the girls about the guy back home and how they slept together before she left (she isnt going back anytime in the near future). Later the first night we were all sitting around when she started cuddling up to me and we ended up falling asleep like that for a little bit before we all went to our seperate tents. The next night we were playing games and decided to play spin the bottle when we got eachother, we kissed. I really like this girl and i want to know how i can bring her attention away from the guy back home. How should i proceed with this situation? TL;DR:

new girl moved to my city, i asked her out, she turned me down because of a guy back home (that took her virginity) but she isnt going back. How can i proceed?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My current SO [22F] has called things off with me [M23] because shes scared of things becoming serious and her pushing me away. What Do? POST: So this girl[22f] that I went to College with recently reconnected on tinder about a month back. You See me and her had a thing for each other at the time but I was hard headed and did not pick up the signals up early enough. Fast forward about a year later and we end up matching talking and going on multiple dates (5). We instantly mesh and things were going amazing we talk everyday and meet up when we can because our schedules are the polar opposite of each other. Well last weekend was the first time in a month we haven't talked for like 2 straight days. I figured no big deal she is probably really busy. Then Monday still nada. So I text back today asking how she was and then she drops the feelings equivalent of a Sonic boom on me that she has been purposefully keeping to herself in order to make sure I wasn't getting attached. I figured this is pretty ironic because she initiated a lot of the romantic things we had been doing (intimacy, pet names like babe, hun etc.). This caught me off guard because it seemed like things were pretty solid it wasn't just me seeking her out it was a mutual attraction and connection. I know she has been through a lot with her just ending an engagement 4 months ago so I am in no means bitter or upset It just kind of sucks that something that made me so happy recently just ended on a preemptive strike on her part. I guess I'm asking how should I feel/ proceed? Should I push to keep what we had going or just accept that things happen. TL;DR:

Old college flame and I reconnect date exclusively for about a month and weird radio silence on her end ends up being her freaking out about long term relationship issues and cutting us short. What Do?

SUBREDDIT: r/jobs TITLE: Is 8 1/2 months notice too much? POST: I've decided that the end of this calendar year will be the optimal time for me to quit my job and return to school to pursue another degree as a full time student. I've been here for about 2 years as of this week. I've already breached the subject informally with my direct supervisor, sharing my desires to return to school and transition to a different career field. My question exists as follows: Will I be doing myself a disservice by announcing my departure so early? I feel like it would be optimal for my employer to know as soon as possible so they can arrange for my replacement and see that the projects I'm currently managing are properly closed out or transitioned. I also feel like I may be jumping the gun and giving off the impression that I can't wait to get out etc? TL;DR:

I'm going to resign my job in 8 1/2 months. Do I drop a formal letter now or wait until December to make my departure official?

SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: [serious] My SO is emotionally detached and its weighing heavy on me POST: My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost a year. We have known each other for almost 5 now. Our relationship is great we get along and like similar things but we are different enough that we are able to have our space. The only grip I have is emotionally she is detached quite a bit. But it's confusing. We have had talks before and she says that she can't feel for the longest time. She is 27 and she has had her issues from when she was young. For tough things she had to go through. Things that shouldn't have happen to a kid also being told she was not wanted that may contributed to her pushing down feelings. It seems like she does feel she smiles, laughs, gets angry and worried. But when it comes to us it like she has a hard time expressing love but I know she cares about me. She doesn't get jealous which is great but at the same time it leaves me very feeling unwanted at times. As we were getting together it seems like she was coming out of her shell starting to feel again saying that she wasn't sure what was happening but she could tell something is happening but is unsure what when she is with me. Then all of a sudden she went AWOL a week before Christmas 2014 which had me worry cause she was not responding to any texts or calls I made which she is good at getting back to people. It's like she snapped. All the progress that was made with her coming out of her she got erased and now she is unsure how she feels toward me. I'm trying to stick it out and an idiot who It feels like emotionally she is a kid but stuck in an adults body. TL;DR:

girlfriend is emotionally detached because of early upbringing and boyfriend is growing increasing disheartened that he can't help and its wearing me down leaving me questioning our relationship.

SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: I caught my step mum cheating on my dad when i was 12 and didn't tell him. Now he finally caught her 10 years later and I'm really cut up for keeping my mouth shut. POST: I didn't tell my dad because he'd been trying to remarry and they'd ended disastrously every time. In my reasoning, he deserved to be happy. Plus, my sister had just been born then. I didn't want her growing up in a broken home. Stopped living with my dad 4 years ago and found out last week he caught her cheating. She promised she wouldn't do it again! I feel so stupid!! Like it's all my fault. I've never had a worse week in my life!!! Now my sister is going to grow up in a broken home - along with my 3 half brothers(1 to 5 years) I could have prevented this! TL;DR:

Caught my step-mom cheating, didnt do anything about it. Dad caught her cheating this time and i feel i could have nipped it in the bud

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [30sF] with my best friend [30sF] 18 years, she thinks she is living in SATC. POST: I'll keep it short. My best friend compares EVERYTHING that she does to Sex and the City. I mean, she's single now for the first time in a long time and she compares her ex to Big and her perseverance to Carrie. If she bones someone she's totally Samantha. Her work ethic gets compared to the red head. She just got a dog, so now she's just like the other one...Charlotte maybe. I don't know. I never really watched the show, only when I was hanging out with her in college. I've known her since Junior High and she was never like this until that show. It ended fucking YEARS AGO and she still talks about it and how it's so relatable to her life and what she's going through. She quotes it ALL THE FUCKING TIME. She's going through a divorce, so I know that's got her drained emotionally, but she did this before she even met her ex. She will explain a situation to me that happened to her THEN she will explain an episode where Carrie experienced something similar. So, not only do I have to support her in her trials, but now I have to support Carrie. My question here is, is this a thing that should be acceptable by us, her friend group? We love her dearly. She's bright, hugely successful....all of those things. Her heart is huge. Is this just something that sort of annoys us and we should just deal or is she really displacing reality with this thing? I've never seen anything like it. TL;DR:

Best friend since jr. high school lives vicariously through SATC and it's driving her friend group crazy. Is this ok?

SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: How do you save up for a 20% down payment before you die? POST: I'm 20 years old and have been thinking about my future and where I want to live. I plan on one day buying a house, for which I will need a down payment of course. I currently have no real money in savings, and no inheritance. Kinda poor. Assuming by the time I get out of college I can find a decent starter job (I live in NYC and plan on moving out eventually), how would I go about saving up ~50-80k to put a down payment without having to take forever? My down payment estimates are based on houses I've looked at online. This is all purely speculation, but I do wanna be ready (unlike my parents who put down a pathetic 4% on their house). I am also assuming I can find a job out of college that will pay at least 40k a year. *more like praying TL;DR:

I want to save up money for a down payment on a house that may be 50-80k, how do I do generate this kind of money before I die? Currently 20-year-old college student.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Brother was a victim of battery at high school. Who has to press charges against assailant? POST: Today: My brother was assaulted and battered today at high school. He was threatened, did not fight back when it happened, and was repeatedly kicked in the head. At first, the school officer asked us if we wanted to press charges. Now we received a call from the same officer explaining that the assailant will be charged but through the state's attorney since it is a juvenile case. Back story: He has bullied my brother and friends in the past (i.e. pushing by assailant, words exchanged). Multiple parents have stated how they are worried he will snap, he has hurt others in middle school, and had to take anger management classes. Recently, my brother, as well as numerous other students, started a meme using the kid's picture. While my brother did not start the meme, he did post one. The assailant found out that my brother was one of the posters and sent a threat via text. After a few days my, he attacked my brother from behind, threw him down, and started kicking his head. We fear for my brother's safety and would like to see everything done that is possible. Is this standard procedure for the state to handle a case like this since it was in school or should we be doing something as well? The officer made it seem that there was nothing we could do and they were taking care of it all for us. I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors, but I am typing this as fast as I can. We are worried and we need help. Reddit, do we lawyer up or let them lawyer up for us? TL;DR:

Students and brother at high school created a meme about a bully. Bully found out brother was a part of it. Bully assaults and batters brother. Who presses charges? Us or the state?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: 16m intensely crushing on friend 26f. what do? (16 is age of consent) POST: *Half your age plus 7. I get it.* We met at a sit in "protest" (there weren't that many there) about 2 months ago. She gave me her Facebook. I go to a suburban school so i know the average maturity of an average 16 year old. Let me tell you, you can believe me or not, but i am way above the average. From the moment i saw her, we had deep and meaningful conversation and after a while my heart started to flutter and it was the kind of thing where i had to make an excuse to leave occasionally because i was so excited/nervous. We talked for hours non-stop. Once again, i was so excited i made an absolute fool of myself my talking way too loud and acting all hyper. I asked how old she was (i was in a hyper state so back off :P) and she said 26. My heart just absolutely sank, and i had to leave again to the toilet even though i'd just been, but this time it wasn't excitement or nervousness which sent me there it was pure disappointment. I knew it'd be virtually impossible to get with her now. She'd looked about 18-19. When i got back i expressed shock at how young she looked (not in a compliment way just in a "I'm genuinely surprised" way. That's at least how i intended.) and she said a stereotype (I'm asian so i'm that way). On a little tangent here, I've never ever been kissed by a girl that's not in my family at age 16. Adding to the angst is the fact i feel/wish i was older (part of the fact i'm way above average maturity) . I think about sex a lot but every time it is accompanied with feelings of wishing to be in a "relationship" (even fwb or the like). I haven't flirted with her in any way. I briefly mentioned porn but that's it. Is there any chance at all of even a non-sexual relationship? Even if i had to wait a few years? TL;DR:

New friendship (about 2 months). I am way more mature than 16 and this is one of the reasons we closely connect (Not primarily physical attraction). Any chance of something more?

SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps TITLE: What do I do when she contacts me? POST: Hey Reddit, a little background info: my girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me almost 2 months ago saying she wanted to take a break. Were both 16, I know young but I'm really mature and it just feels right. She really meant to get back together but I screwed up. I told her how I felt and everything and was clingy and just tried to get her back. Also I said I would always be there for her, which I realize was very stupid now. I pushed her farther away of course and she said she didn't like me anymore but still wanted me in her life later on. She is also in somewhat of a friends with benefits relationship with an older guy.(everybody says its one of those things where she thinks the grass is greener with him but she'll see that its not at some point.) So on Monday I said something to her and I think it hit her hard because she said "can we just not talk for awhile? I can't deal with this now" and she seemed very rattled and flustered. Its been 5 days and I'm sort of expecting a text from her in the next few days and I was wondering what to do if it comes. Do I answer right away, take a few hours or just not answer? What kind of things should I say? I kinda want to scare her to make her realize I won't be here forever. I really want to get her back, but I've also accepted that there's a good chance it won't happen. And I've also heard to just move on a million times but there's like a gut feeling and it just seems right to wait and see if things work out if that makes sense. Any advice is appreciated, thank you. TL;DR:

Girlfriend wanted a break, I screwed it up, expecting her to contact me soon and wondering what to say to try and get her back or scare her a bit.

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by telling my girlfriend that she should start waking me up with a blowjob. [nsfw] POST: Sup pals? The foundation to this fuck up happened about last week with the execution of it happening just a few days ago, but since it violates both the weekday rules, I had to bite my tongue and wait. Anyways, down to brass tacks; I've been working odd hours to meet deadlines recently plus promoting a few parties for some side scratch, basically my sleep schedule has been completely fucked for the past couple months. Naturally my girlfriend, who sleeps like a normal human being for the most part, started getting a little bummed out recently on account that we are living on two different schedules. So, about 3 weeks ago she started trying to wake me up when she felt my 6 hour quota had been met to give us a few hours of quality time together before she went to bed. Very fair, but I'm also very deep sleeper, so she was very frustrated that she only got me out of bed a handful of times with the majority of those consisting of me roaming around the apartment like a husk with only one eye open for the first hour of consciousness. We had a talk about it, and I assured her that this wouldn't be forever, and I joked that if she really wanted to get me up maybe she should blow me into awareness. We laughed, made up, and the week pushed on. Fast forward to Thursday night, I'm in the strong embrace of an epic sleep, adventuring through the alternate reality that is my dreamscape when I feel this beautiful, warming sensation emanating from my loins, embracing my whole body, and I was so content, so happy, so relaxed until it was all shattered by a high pitched scream. A mixture of anger, complete horror, and utter disbelief which manifested itself into the words "WHAT THE FUCK!" Simultaneously, of a sudden my face is now being splashed with some luke warm mystery liquid, and a slightly warmer liquid is gently raining down everywhere. I snap awake and realize... I just pissed in my girlfriends mouth, she spit that mouthful of piss in my face, and I'm now continuing to rain down a morning, or in this case evening wood sprinkle system-esque cascade of piss. Fuck. TL;DR:

Asked my girlfriend to wake up with a blowjob and instead of waking up to a glorious orgasm, I filled her mouth with enough piss to make Bear Grylls flinch.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: What is the most most egregious example of friend-zoning that you're ever seen? Make me cringe, people. POST: I'll give you my boyfriend's roommate as an example. Let's call him Phil. Phil is not an attractive man. He's not Quasimodo, but he just doesn't have too many redeeming attributes. Doesn't brush his teeth, doesn't seem to shower (There's a smell coming from him and his room that we call "Phil Funk".) Is messy as hell. And despite all these gross attributes, he's easily one of the nicest guy's I've ever met while not being a complete doormat. Then he meets a woman who is about 10 years older than him (Makes her about 35. Let's call her Maggie), takes her on nice dinners, picks up her kids from school, etc. When I met the woman, I was honestly surprised by how pretty she was, and later I congratulated Phil about snagging such a nice girlfriend. "Oh, no, we're just friends." Wha... what? This guy picks up her kids, makes the whole family dinner, *took her to see Cirque du Soleil*, has admitted to liking her as more than a friend, and he won't ever get anything more than a kiss on the cheek. Here's the most terrible example, IMO: I'm up at 9:30am making food for myself when Phil walks out, fully dressed and fumbling with his keys. This guy doesn't normally wake up until about 1:00pm if he doesn't have to, so I got curious. "Hey, whatcha up so early for?" "Oh, Maggie wants some starbucks." "Oh that's cool. You gonna meet her there?" "No, I'm bringing her some and heading back. She doesn't want to wake up her kids." ಠ\_ಠ TL;DR:

Gross-yet-nice friend is letting himself be used by a pretty older woman in hopes of playing with her naughty bits.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Haven't seen your Dad in over 15 years- suddenly bam- he's there- what do you say/ask him? POST: So yesterday I get a friend request on facebook from some girl I've never met. Right after accepting it to see if we have similar friends she messages me to say that her mom is dating a man she thinks might be my father. After a few messages back and forth sure enough it's the real deal. She mentions that he seems like a great guy who really feels like he messaed up in the past and misses his kids terribly. She says she's just trying to help because she lost her father in a divorce years ago and thought I might want to meet him again. The whole reason I haven't seen him in so long is that he was doing lot's of drugs and went apeshit crazy and scared my mom when I was about 13 and when they got divorced he kept violating the restraining order and threatening her. We went into hiding for 4 years after that and lived in a battered and abused women's shelter for a while. Fast forward to now- I am almost 30 years old, a grown married man with a child of my own, with a house and a life. Needless to say, I have no idea what I am getting into. Part of me wants to leave that door closed because I haven't needed him thus far (what if he's still an addict and a total loser.) The other part of me wants an apology, though not excuses, and maybe to see what he has done with the last 15 years. I hesitantly told her I would talk to him on the phone and she's going to give him my number to call me tonight or tomorrow. So what do I do, say, or ask? TL;DR:

Haven't seen my dad in 15 years cause he F-ed up his life with drugs and I'm going to talk to him soon. Where do I begin?

SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps TITLE: To all you heartbroken redditors out there POST: Life goes on. I broke up with my ex almost 3 months ago we were both 18 and I am feeling pretty darn good. All the pain and torment you are going through is only temporary, I know that everyone says time heals all wounds, it really does, I am living proof. I can finally say that if my ex came back to me I would have the strength to say no, after the hell she put me through, without any provocation, she doesn't deserve me. That was the hardest part for me, she was fine, talking to other guys, while I was dying a little bit inside. And she was mean and negative the few times i tried to contact her. She doesn't deserve what I have to offer. But trust me when I say this, the memories get easier to shake off and become less frequent. Do all of the stuff that the good folks on R/breakups suggest. I am now currently in great shape, Playing in a band, volunteering for the American peace corp, and im a nursing student. While my ex has met someone new, 28 year old indie film maker(pretty ugly i might add), shes 18 haha. I am not really even upset, it is just sort of a feeling of pity and bewilderment. I am out helping improve myself and my community and setting myself up for a bright future, while she is screwing a shitty film maker. Which brings me to my next point, Don't ever doubt your self worth. Keep telling yourself that you are better and didn't deserve that BS. Believe that you will find somebody else that is better. I find myself feeling ready to dive into the world of romance again. I wish you all success in this truly difficult time in your life. TL;DR:

Things will get easier, I was a hollow shell of the man I was before, now I am feeling like my old self again.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Family conflict question: How do I appropriately express myself in this situation? I am 27F. POST: I don't think askreddit would be right for this - please help me! A little backstory first. My parents are divorced. I see my dad's family twice a year or so and am perfectly content with that. I see my dad once or twice a year. I don't particularly care for him but some of his family members (grandparents, a couple of aunts/cousins) are great. My brother (then 30) died two years ago. This Sunday we are having a memorial mass in my hometown. Benignly, my dad's family planned a 65th anniversary cook out to celebrate my grandparents at the same time on Sunday. When they realized the conflict, they pushed back the time to later in the afternoon. The cook out is about 1 hours from my mom's house. I am not only expected to be there but also to contribute to the cook out (kind of pot luck style) in some way. I don't want to go to the cook out but feel obligated. How do I express to my extended family that I have every intention of going but am not sure that I will feel up to it? What if my mom is having a tough day (which is imminent)? I'm not going to up and leave her. Furthermore, I anticipate that it will be a tough day for me too. My younger brother (24) is insistent that I go, stating that "there probably won't be another anniversary like this." I understand, but I am really conflicted. Help? How do I go about this tactfully without hurting anyone's feelings? TL;DR:

Grandparents' 65th anniversary cook out planned for the same day as my brother's memorial service. Need to be tactful.

SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: Do I take an amazing risky job with a lot of freedom that I feel somewhat unprepared for, or good corporate job with access to amazing mentors and connections? POST: This is the very definition of a first world problem, so I am not complaining just looking for some advice. Basically the zipper on my Fendi purse won't close because my purse is so full of hundred dollar bills; woe, is me. I have been working a temporary position (which is common in my industry) at a very respected, but corporate place. I did not expect this job to become something permanent and in the meantime have been offered a really different but amazing opportunity. Basically at this other job I would be my own boss, while someone else dealt with most of the financial side of the business, I would be the face of our brand, and completely autonomous. I am pretty experienced; I have about 5 years work experience, and just completed a degree specific to my field; but I am still terrified I am going to fail at this job because I am not prepared. I always expected myself to take the more corporate path, kind of working my way up through the ranks, learning from mentors and gaining confidence and skills. I am very humble with my skill set and am the type of person who feels under-qualified until I am way over qualified. So my problem is I was just offered a permanent position at my more corporate job. At this job I would be mentored by a person with a huge skill set and lots of connections. At the other job I could experiment and use the knowledge and experience I currently have to create my own path. I have no idea what to do. In general I am not a huge risk taker, but I am 29, I don't have student debt, I don't plan on having kids so I have the freedom to take risks. TL;DR:

So do you take the job you feel underqualified for but is a huge opportunity where you can experiment and be your own boss, or take the corporate job with access to an amazing mentors and connections

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [28 M] with my wife [22 F] 5 years duration, great day ends very badly. POST: I'm 28m and she's 22F. We have been married for 5 years. Ok, here is some background. This morning I'm being super sweet and holding her and loving on her in bed. We get up and I get the kids fed and she takes off with the baby to see our great grandmother. Well that night we are cuddling on the sofa watching movies and we head to bed. I come in a bit later after saying good night to my niece. I come in and cuddle up next to her and she is soaking wet... so I start to finger her and then I eat her out until she comes 3 or 4 times. ( hitting all the spots that drive her crazy) She starts begging me to stop with full body convolutions. I roll over get up and wash up I come back. I'm thinking she's going to return the favor and she suddenly gets pissed at me. ( this is after I washed my face and hands) she just turns over and basically went to sleep. Befor she went to bed she told me i should know why she is upset.What the fuck did I do wrong? TL;DR:

great day with so. She came 3 or 4 times. She gets mad at me and will not tell me why.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 M] with my [40 F] GF. Dating over the last month but worried about the age gap long term. POST: Hi there everyone, About a year and a half ago a woman started working where I work. Over the last year and a half we have been seeing each other now and again but never talked about where it was going. As time went on I started to have stronger feelings for her and about a month ago we had a chat, sat down and discussed the positives and negatives of starting up a relationship. We have been at a relationship for a month and I'm loving it, I'm falling in love with her. The age gap doesn't bother me now, my main concern is the future. When I'm 30, she'll be 47. When I'm 40, she'll be 57 and so on and so on. When you start getting to 70 and 87, it scares the crap out of me. It's not her looks fading and all that I'm worried about, I'm worried that because I'm 17 years younger than her, she'll pass away long before me and I'll be alone. I know this seems like a very stupid problem and I know it's something that can't be changed. I aired these concerns to her and she replied that she'd understand if I ended it (but she would be very upset about it and doesn't want to lose me), but I can't imagine doing that, I couldn't be without her. TL;DR:

Love a woman 17 years older than me, worried about the fact she'll pass away long before me. How do I become at ease with that and move past it?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do I deal with this financial dispute with an old classmate? POST: Non-romantic. Two middle school classmates (28 F, 28 M) came to my city for skiing. We've known each other since 12, but hardly had any contact since high school graduation. They stayed at my home for free for 5 days. In the last couple of days, the guy was feeling sick. I even cooked for him and bought all the food and groceries for them. They rented a car to go to the ski resort 1 hour from my city everyday. I went with them once (in their rental car). The other days I had work and went out to dinner with them a couple of times. Now the guy sent me a bill expecting me to split the rental car fee evenly with them. I'm truly shocked because I felt that I was only being a good host. I didn't even have to go to the ski resort with them this time, as I have many friends and colleagues here whom I would go with. I only went to keep them company. What would you do if this happened to you? TL;DR:

Do you think my old classmate is behaving ungratefully, or shall I pay up for the rental car that I didn't need?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 M] with my SO [19 F] of 14 months, having trouble with the long distance. POST: I've been with my girlfriend for about 14 months, though only officially dating for a little over 3. We were together at uni, and had a great relationship. No fighting, great sex, kept genuine ties with our separate friends, and had a healthy balance. Now that it's summer, I'm away at an internship and she's back home- we're about 3 hours apart. We got to the "I love you" phase a week or two before the school year ended. We've only been apart for 2 weeks, but I can already feel myself growing in apathy. There's something about being apart from someone that makes it difficult for me to keep that bond. I felt so consistently in love with this girl so recently, but now, being so far away and surrounded by lots of other women where I'm living (all of us interns live in a condo complex together), it's hard to feel that spark. And along with that, it makes it hard to keep talking to her regularly while still showing that I'm invested in the relationship. I know that once I see her and can be around her more often, this will go away- at least I hope. Taking a break for the summer just doesn't really seem like an option, as that doesn't ever seem to work out. What do I do to recall how I felt about her so recently? I was so scared of parting ways for the summer and missing her. I know what we had wasn't just a honeymoon infatuation- so why am I starting to feel disinterested? And how am I going to make it through the next 3 months? TL;DR:

Was in a healthy loving relationship, and now that we're apart for the summer, I'm having trouble staying engaged.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Is it just me (20M) or does what my gf said (20F) seem like a cop out? POST: So, the past few days my girlfriend and I (we go to different colleges 1 hr away fyi) having been having a little trouble. Little problems with intimacy have popped up constantly throughout our whole 6 year relationship but that's not exactly the point here, just the backstory. Anyway, the yesterday we're texting and she asks me if I'm bored of her or wish she had other qualities. This girls the love of my life and my future wife, so I immediately say no and ask her why. One of the things she brings up is "with physical stuff, I know you wish I did certain things" For some reason, whenever she feels guilty about certain things it always me feel bad and because of that I try to direct blame away from her. So, I tell that it's ok if we're not doing certain physical things right now, as I'm patient with her. Her reply to that was "I know. And that's the thing. We are only 20 years old. We started having sex at what, 17 almost 18? I don't want to keep going further because five years down the road what will we have left to do? I don't want us to get bored. I want us to stay together forever." I don't know why, but as soon as she said that it immediately bugged me. It made me feel like she's deliberately holding herself and us back when we're intimate just because she doesn't want us to get bored of each other when we have our whole lives together. I'm sorry, but it just didn't make sense to me. We kind of dropped the subject after that so I didn't really get a chance to have her elaborate on that but I'm going to try to talk about it again soon. I guess what I'm wondering is am I right in feeling so irked about what she said or is there something I'm missing about what she said that someone can help me with? TL;DR:

Long term girlfriend/future wife doesn't want to go further sexually/physically because she thinks we'll become bored of eachother too soon.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Have you ever known a person that was so badass, he/she seemed superhuman? POST: So my High School Debate coach was telling us about this guy that he coached from my high school in debate. His name is Matt Spence. Now my debate coach was fresh out of college and teaching at another high school. Matt Spence was the only one doing debate at my high school, and there was no coach. So, naturally, my coach took him under his wing. Matt Spence was crazy. He was president in a million clubs, ASB President, journalism, sports, you-name-it. He was a straight a student and scored very well on his SAT's. Eventually, during Spence's senior year, he made it to National Champs in Speech and Debate. He got 3rd in Lincoln Douglas Debate and 1st in Extemporaneous Speaking. Out of the WHOLE country. After graduating he went to Yale, Harvard, Stanford, etc etc. Then he began interning for some government official. After a few years and a few phone calls he became part of the National Security Cabinet/Group. Now he is the National Security Advisor for Obama. My coach still calls him and asks if he has time to meet up, but Spence casually replies, "Sorry man, I don't have time for awhile, I am flying on Airforce One to Libya to coordinate with them" or something like that. Oh, and he is an Eagle Scout. TL;DR:

Matt Spence, who is an alumni to my high school, is a superhuman that managed to do nearly every activity and is now the National Security Advisor for Obama.

SUBREDDIT: r/jobs TITLE: asking my current boss to help find me another job POST: So I hate my job. Writing Facebook posts is not the holy grail job many people my age think it is. But I'm stuck because I have no connections, no hard skills, and no other prospects. I have two bosses. One is the owner of the company. The other is the COO. The COO is very connected. She has close business connections and even closer government connections at both the local and state level. I'm talking high level, elected officials. I have always wanted to work in politics and government, but was never able to find a job and now that I'm getting older it's getting harder to compete with college grads for basically the same job. My boyfriend and my dad both believe that if I can "play the game" right and talk to my boss about my dream of working in government then I could finally break my way into a worthwhile career. I believe that this is possibly the fastest way to get me fired short of setting the building on fire. So who is right? Should I try and confess to my boss that my dream is not writing tweets but instead working in politics and ask if she can help me? Or will I just get fired? TL;DR:

my boss is politically connected. I want to work in politics. My bf and dad think I can ask her to help me change careers. I think it'll get me fired. Who is right?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I'm [25/m], going out with [25/f] for almost 3 years. Happy, but not sure if she's the one. Might be moving in together soon POST: So we've been going out nearly 3 years. We get on really well. Going to be brutally honest and say I never found her 'hot', but we got on really well. We never fight, and she is always so nice to me. Would definitely be marriage material. All i worry is that there is no 'spark'. There never has really been, but we've got on so well I have never worried about it. I have had it before with girls. Because its getting to move in together time ( roommates annoying, house is not great ) and I generally would like a change, it makes me wonder about the relationship. I travelled for a month on my own and really liked the independence. She didn't like me being away. I have been the needy one before, so i know what its like. I did voice some concerns, and said to her i was unhappy, but i wasnt sure what was making me unhappy. ( Still dont know ). So she let me go on this month away, which i loved. I still find other girls really attractive, and sometimes wonder if i was single. Cognisant of greener grass etc. I know could seperate and see, but we have had two very good years, so don't want to throw that away nonchalantly either. What should I be thinking about? What are the deal breakers? TL;DR:

Am i over worrying, just because we're at that stage where people move in together, or should we go our seperate ways?

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by eating a spoiled cake POST: This happened about two hours ago. After throwing up for past hour and a half, I'm writing this. So I work as asbestos analyst during the week and Chinese cook during the weekends. Usually, I don't have any problem with my work, besides the fact that I have to deal with 3 Chinese cooks who cannot speak English on my shift. My schedule on Saturday and Sunday runs from 7:00 am to 4:00 pm. So on the weekends I usually don't cook and grab whatever is in the fridge (usually frozen lasagna) for breakfast and head for work. On Friday after work, my friend brought a tuxedo cake from the local grocery. We each had a piece with nice cup of green tea and then he left the rest of them in my refrigerator. And this morning when I was preparing to go to work, I thought it might be a good idea to have a slice instead of heating up frozen turkey tv dinner. Worst Mistake Ever. What I didn't know was that cake, made with fresh cream, can spoil within 2 days after opening. Unfortunately for me, that cake was made with fresh cream and it was spoiled. As I was working in the Kitchen preparing for opening, in about 4 hours I started to feel nauseated. So I decided to take a quick break in dish washing area. Unfortunately, the restaurant I work at also prepares ducks too. And as the BBQ cook brings in the greasy pan that collected duck fat into the dish washing area, I threw up. I tried to minimize the damage by hugging trash bin, but the collateral damage was inevitable. And unfortunately again, there was about 4~5 groups of customers outside when that happened. As soon as they heard someone vomiting inside the kitchen, 1 group complained and 2 group, who haven't ordered yet, immediately left. Needless to say my manager was very angry about that and I am suspended for 2 weeks. TL;DR:

Ate spoiled cake, got sick. Threw up which caused customers to complain and leave. Got suspended for two weeks. FML.

SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Underage Consumption at college tailgate POST: I'm 19 years old and I live in South Dakota. Was at a tailgate and a police officer asked me to take a breathalyser test because I was holding a 21 year old wristband. Not wearing it on my wrist I was just holding it. I refused to take a breathalyser and he gave me a ticket for underage consumption because he smelled beer coming from my breath. Which I think is kinda ridiculous because there were obviously beer cans all around us and beer all over the ground. Anyway I got a court date and I plan on going and paying the ticket and taking alcohol classes or doing community service hoping it gets erased from my record. But I was just wondering is there anyway to get it dropped because the cops only evidence was that he smelled beer from me. I was not holding any alcohol. I was not acting belligerent, there was no reason to suspect I was drunk or drinking. I was being respectful to the cop. And I'm just really bummed this was how I got an underage when i wasn't even drunk. TL;DR:

got a underage consumption, is there a way to fight it/get it dropped? If not what is the best thing to do when I go to court?

SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: [Arizona] My(16m) ex-girlfriends(15f) mom is threatening to press charges against me even though we never had sex. POST: I recently broke up with my girlfriend of about 3 months and towards the end we started getting a bit more flirtatious and she blew once and I finergered her a few times but we never has PIV sex or anything of the sort. Her mother has always been pretty controlling over her and even used parental control apps on her phone so after the break-up she forced her (my ex) to tell her (mom) everything. I have no idea what was said but her mom called me and told me to stay away from her daughter and to never speak to her again and that she was thinking about pressing charges. So I guess my question is: is there anything I should be worried about legally as long as my ex tells the truth that we never had sex (She wouldn't lie about something like that)? TL;DR:

After break-up my ex girlfriends mother is threatening to press charges even though we never had sex and there's no proof we did.

SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Get comfortable with him seeing other people? POST: I've been dating a guy casually for about 4 months. He's already told me how he isn't ready for a relationship. I like him a lot & don't have much else going on, so I told him how I'd stick around because I enjoy what we have. I also told him how I'm okay with him seeing other people. Truth is, I'm not. I just don't want him to feel latched to me or anything... Yet I have this irrational fear that I may lose him to someone else. How can I become comfortable with the guy I like & am seeing, seeing other people? Did I fuck up telling him I'm comfortable with him seeing other people when I'm not? Do I have proof he is dating others at the same time as me right now? No, but it's possible... (No, I don't want to date others myself... I know that may be a solution, but I'm not up for it right now.) I have no doubts he likes me a lot, but I'm so uncomfortable sharing... TL;DR:

Guy I'm seeing is seeing other people & I don't know how to be comfortable with the idea of him seeing others.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: This girl [15/f] led me on. So much so that I [15/m] am still not sure whether she's into me or not. POST: Out of the blue, she called me when we haven't talked in a few months or seen eachother in about a year. We text for weeks after that, and she kept insisting that we hang out. Eventually, I suggested we go see a movie. She agreed, and we went. Up to this point, I and a girl I talk to frequently [16/f] both thought she was into me for various reasons. The day of the movie came around, and when we were in there, we made some small talk and it didn't feel awkward. Throughout the movie, she was leaning away from me in her seat with her arms crossed over her body. Once, we both move to get some popcorn from the bag we shared, but I pulled my hand way, although she didn't pull away. She never changed her position until the climax of the movie where she got extemely fidgety and said something like "oh I'm so nervous for (the main character)." After the movie, I noticed we barely dented the popcorn and she says "well it's good I didn't pay for it" or something similar, in a joking fashion. We got out of the theater and she said she really wanted to go to a store nearby, so we did. We browsed around for a few minutes before she got something, then we left. My dad arrived to pick me up, but I waited with her while she called her mom. Her mom was on her way, so this girl told me bye and "shooed" me away in a playful way. As I was walking away she said "text me!" TL;DR:

Girl calls me out of the blue; insists we hang out. A friend and I both believe she has feelings for me. We go to a movie theater and she acts distant.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit!! Help me find these pictures. Youre my only hope. POST: Backstory: I went to San Francisco last week from Japan and had a friend take me around for a day during my day off work. We drove to just past the Golden Gate Bridge where there is a lookout. Below us was a walking trail and then the beach. As we were there, we say two people (guy and girl) walk along this trail and the guy was taking photos of the girl. I looked at my buddy and said "I think she's gonna get naked" and sure enough, she pulls down her dress to show off her breasts for the camera. Whenever a runner would come along she would pull the dress back up and act casual. It was a great view from where we were (40 meters or so away) but my camera wouldnt get a good shot and i was too entranced by the naked girl that the only photo i got was when she was clothed. Anyway, i was wondering if anyone has stumbled upon the final images of this girl. Curious to know if she was famous or amateur. Here is the pic i took. [CLOTHED GIRL BEFORE THE AWESOME STARTED]( TL;DR:

Saw girl get naked when trying to view Golden Gate Bridge. Feel in love with San Francisco. She did not have a flower in her hair.

SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Girl (21f) flies across country to be with me (27m) but does not want to have sex because she says she'll get too attached. POST: Am I wrong for feeling rejected? We talked so much about sex and now that she is here she says she doesn't want to get attached because she will feel terrible when she leaves. We originally met almost a year ago through fb and she's from my hometown. We've never physically met before she got here. Only Skype, text and phone conversations. I know that I will respect her wishes and not try anything but in this situation is it wrong to feel rejected? Lead on? I paid for half of her air travel and I'm paying for everything while she is here. I know these are just things and in no way would I ever assume I was owed sex because of it, but at the same time, I don't know if I would have done them had I been told there would be no sex Thoughts? bold TL;DR:

girl traveled across country to e with me, only to arrive and tell me she doesn't want to have sex.bold

SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning TITLE: I need advice on a complicated matter POST: Four years ago, I was engaged to a wonderful man, and happily planning our wedding. Unfortunately, our relationship deteriorated due to his health issues, depression and other factors, and we broke up. Fours years later, and I have an incredible boyfriend. We have been together for two and a half years, and he helped rebuild the person I used to be after being ripped apart and broken because of how my engagement ended. Recently we have been talking about the future, and what each of us want. We both want to get married, have children, build a life together etc. Marriage for us is definitely on the horizon, and we've been bouncing ideas off each other about what we want for our wedding etc. After the collapse of my previous engagement, I decided I don't want a wedding. I already planned my wedding, and it all fell apart. I don't want to do it again. But my partner is from a large Italian family, and he does want a wedding. So I asked what sort of venue he would like. He want one in a garden. We live in a large city, and there's only really one nice garden wedding venue - the Botanical gardens. The one I had originally planned as my wedding venue. Is it weird to choose it if we decide to get married? Or should we find something else (no matter how impossible that may be)? TL;DR:

Got engaged 4 years ago, planned wedding at city botanical gardens, relationship broke down. Current partner want to get married at said gardens. Yay or nay?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me 24M how do I break off dating appropriately POST: I went through a really nasty breakup a while back that left my self esteem in the gutter. For a while I felt like I'd never love again, and eventually my friends told me I just had to start dating people. So I did! It was fun. There were some cool people I met and enjoyed hanging out with, a few of them were cute and fun to hang out with and I still do that kind of stuff. We would text flirtatiously and the like, make out, mess around, go on dates, etc... But to be honest, I hadn't met anyone I really fell in love with for a while. Now after having dated many people I've finally met someone I really want to pursue seriously. But I'm a little confused about how to go about it without being a jerk. I didn't ever promise the other people I've been seeing anything exclusive, and I didn't make any hints at wanting to be a boyfriend: they were just people I was seeing and was hoping a spark would develop, but then didn't. The problem is that the other people I've been seeing (three or four at varying degrees of frequency) really are good and fun people, and it's not like I want make them feel bad. It's just that I want to pursue things with this woman I really love. I took a look at myself after having come home from one of my dates and thought about what it would be like to be with someone I wasn't really in love with and it made me feel trapped and worried. So how do I break it off with these other people without overly hurting their feelings? I have various questions (e.g., I don't want to waste their time and break up with them in person after making them get dressed for a date and leaving them hanging) about the mechanics of this that have popped up just because I've never done this before. TL;DR:

Having to cut it off with people I've been seeing less seriously because I found someone I really liked and don't know how to do it without being rude or hurtful.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Do I [19 F] stay with my boyfriend [18 M] of 1.5 years if I'm sure he's not happy? POST: I went through my boyfriends phone today.. We've been arguing for days over multiple things. I have a best friend that he texts, usually when we're arguing. It was a short conversation, but the gist is basically him telling her that he's sick of life, and he's not happy at all... I feel like I've failed him. I've been in love with him for so long, and we've made so many future plans... We always thought we were gonna be THAT couple that met in high school, and stayed together forever. Then sometimes I wonder if I'm not being realistic enough. I don't know how to handle this issue. He asks me if I still want to be with him, but I'm not the unhappy one... He's unhappy, and I have confirmation of that in TEXT MESSAGES to my BEST FRIEND. I had a feeling a long time ago that he might be getting tired of me. He nitpicks a lot.. and yells a lot.. and we argue about stupid stuff. His fuse is almost nonexistent. Things weren't like this in the beginning. I feel like now he's just giving me what I want, and torturing himself by staying with me. Some people say in this situation, that if I really want him to be happy, I'll let him go.. some also say that I have to keep trying and fighting.. They both sound logical.. but I don't know what to do. TL;DR:

My boyfriend is unhappy, and he was very clear about it. I don't know how to continue this relationship knowing I've obviously failed him.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Just had a "Retirony" kind of last day of work. Anyone else have a good last day of work story? POST: On the subject of Retirony, I was just wondering who else felt fate give them last licks on their way out of a job. So I've been a dishwasher and janitor at this restaurant/bar all summer. Today was my last night because tomorrow morning I'm going back to school. I got to work and went to go pee, and a man is sitting at the sink in the bathroom, puking, drunk, with two fingers up his nostrils, which are bleeding like a faucet. Turns out, as he explained to me, he had egged the cooks on, trying to get them to make him super hot wings, and kept sending them back for not being hot enough. So he finally gets acceptable wings, and 15 minutes later, this 280 pound, 45 year old jerk is bleeding out of his face and vomiting hot sauce and chicken into the sink. He is now using one hand to stop his nose from bleeding, and the other to grab chicken vomit bits in the sink and throw them in the trash can, which he is mostly missing. I get him a glass of ice water and tell him he can leave. Now I'm gloved up, pouring bleach on *everythingggg* and mopping the floor, and of course scooping his chicken out of the sink. When I was done cleaning, I noticed my arms were burning. It occurred to me what this was, it's the hot sauce, which has already been digested once. No matter how much I wash my arms with soap water, ice water, anything I can find, it wont come off. So I just know there's vomit on me. Happy ending though: My boss threw me a 50 at the end of the night. TL;DR:

Jerk Guy vomits and bleeds all over the bathroom, drunkenly tries to clean it and makes it much worse.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [24 M] 8 years, intimacy problems POST: Hi, since about 6 years ago my boyfriend has gradually been less intimate. He has kissed me a total of 5 times this year, when I asked why he doesn't want to kiss he just says "dunno". It's not that he's afraid to hurt my feelings(he likes to point out when i'm doing something stupid), he just doesn't seem to know. He turns his face away or pushes mine away when I try to kiss, to be honest I don't think either of us know how to kiss properly(i've only said this to him recently, so it's not that he won't kiss because he's embarassed). When we have kissed it's always sloppy and our tongues just kind of battle to push into the others mouth but they're evenly matched so it ends in an awkward draw. I want to practice but he clearly doesn't. He doesn't allow me to initiate sex or a bj. He gets angry if I do, so I don't bother trying. He'll initiate with me every 2 weeks or so, sometimes it doesn't work out and he goes soft, if it goes soft when it's a bj and not sex then he gets angry that i'm not doing it right and becomes too angry to continue, saying I ruined it. He doesn't allow me to cuddle him in bed if he's mad from a game or something that is nothing to do with me and will shove my arm away. We haven't held hands in years, if I try he bats my hand away. He's never really had much of a sex drive, in the 1st year he loved cuddling and would kiss me often enough, in the 2nd year we started having sex once or twice a week(we are each others first and waited a year before going that far). I have thought that maybe he has erectile dysfunction, but I don't know if that affects wanting to kiss or do anything intimate at all? Is he just not into it? Not into me? He refuses to talk about anything, just says "dunno" no matter how important I say it is to talk about these things so I understand. TL;DR:

Bf of 8 years, doesn't like to kiss or let me initiate anything. Not sure if he's just not into it or not into me.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [27M] with my Ex [25F], have questions I want to ask her. POST: Sorry for the story. 6 months ago, my now-Ex ended our relationship. The breakup was less than ideal. For the first two months, I was really bad at NC. I would text her every 3 weeks or so asking if we could talk about the breakup. She refused, which only ended up hurting my feelings more. Then, out of pure discipline (not because I wanted to, but because she was so very adamant about me not contacting her) I went NC for 2 months. During that time, it never felt like things were getting better for me. At this time, she had already moved on to date someone else. After these 2 months, I called her. We had a pretty cordial conversation, both expressing we wished our breakup played out better than it did because we were friends for about 3 years before we started dating. Fast forward to today. Another 2 months have passed since our last phone call, and we have had really no contact. I see things about her from time to time because we have about a billion mutual friends, but I haven't made any attempts to contact her and she hasn't made any attempts to contact me. Now that you have the background, my questions stem from this part of the story. She moved on pretty quickly after ending our relationship. When we broke up, she said it was because she just didn't feel the chemistry was there and it was **not** because there was someone else. I do know that she felt pretty bad for ending things, especially because she knew how much it hurt me. However, in spite of what she said, and I will admit this is totally speculation on my part, there appears to be circumstantial evidence that she did end the relationship because she was interested in the person she is now dating. How do I resolve this? Am I justified in asking her if that was really the case? Is that right? If not, how do I just let it go and let bygones be bygones? Please help. Thank you. TL;DR:

Ex said she didn't end the relationship because of someone else. I'm not so sure. Now that 6 months have passed, I want to ask her, but not sure if I should.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [18/m] I'm confused by this girl [18/f] POST: I asked her out near the end of junior year. Before this we've been pretty close, and I decided to go for it. She expressed concerns about whether I knew her well enough to know that I liked her, and I was sure I did, so we compromised and agreed to 2 initial dates, and she could decide after that. The first date was abject failure, but she decided after it that she was willing to start a relationship. We went out during the summer, went to movies, watched fireworks, etc. And suddenly, after 3ish months she calls me out of the blue and tells me that she "can't do it". (It being the relationship). No explanation, no nothing. I know that she's had a ton of crap in her past, so I didn't want to push for reasoning, so I just promised to continue talking to her. Now, 4 months after the relationship has been over I'm still texting with her regularly about random stuff, and suddenly out of the blue she texts me that she still has feelings for me and is going to stop communicating with me for a while by any form. All of our mutual friends know that I, in some form, still have feelings for this girl, and knowing our mutual friends, they've talked to her about it too. It's been a week, what do I do. TL;DR:

Asked girl out, she ended it without any explanation. We've reverted to our friendship. She texted me that she still has feelings and has stopped talking to me for a week. What do I do.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22f] with my boyfriend [32m] together 1.5 years His band is trying to play 2 shows on NYE and I'm upset, out of line? POST: My boyfriend is in a band, this particular group has been together for about 5 years. They are somewhat well known in the local music scene and managed to get a gig opening for a very successful band on New years eve. That's great! I am a fan of the band they are opening for and we planned to watch them together after his band plays. Today he got a call from his guitar player saying they got another gig offer headlining at a very small venue. The plan would be to open for the well known band, then leave and go play ay the small venue from 11 to close. So during the countdown. My boyfriend told them he didn't want to. They would only make $50 each, for a 2+ hour show. I am just upset that we made new years plans and I was really excited about the show. The band they are opening for was a huge inspiration for my bf when he started playing music, and recently they have been on hiatus but decided to get back together for this show so I was really looking forward to it. Am I being unreasonable? Should I just suck it up? TL;DR:

Boyfriend's band has a show on NYE opening for an awesome band, just got another offer to headline at a small venue afterwards, during the awesome band's show. Am I wrong to be upset?

SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: The Problems of Transferring Schools POST: I just finished my second year of university at a super small school (approx 1000 students at this campus) in my hometown where the academic expectations are not challenging to me, and I became very depressed and frustrated. I've accepted an offer to transfer to the number one university in my country, but find I can't really get excited about it either. The new school is much more than twenty times the size of my former campus, and is everything the other school isn't- good and bad. A lot of the improvements should really excite me (did really excite me), but after a recent visit there, whenever I think about it I just feel nothing or anxiety. Maybe it's just the severe amount of change this will bring to my life, moving away from home for the first time, while my family moves somewhere else as well. And I'm putting myself into a new environment opposite of what I'm used to, in which I already feel a great pressure to excel or be mediocre forever. I can't sort out my own feelings, but what's worse is everyone else's. My parents think I'm stuck up for wanting a better education. One of my closest friends goes to the school (I'll be living with him next year) and is showing me all of the great things about it- but doesn't really like it himself. My boyfriend is happy for me and says he glad I'll be in a place that I will enjoy-- but has asked me what I'll do if I fail. I'm basically just wondering if I want this and can handle it. I've resorted to making a little booklet of things that might get me excited about the school again and ready to take on the challenge, but I feel like I just need to whine about it to someone-- but feel too guilty/worried/confused to tell anyone I know. TL;DR:

Changing school but am no longer excited about it. Feel pressured, from myself and everyone I know to feel a certain, albeit different, way. I just feel anxious.

SUBREDDIT: r/running TITLE: Need advice with shoes and blisters! POST: Sorry if something like this has been posted here recently, I did a few searches but nothing really seemed to answer my question. I have been running for a while, and have had the same pair of shoes for about 2 years. But every time I run for longer than 6km I get blisters on the insides of both my feet, in a line directly below my big toe. At first I thought it was my running form, but I don't have a heel strike or land on my toes, my socks are also good at ridding moisture as well. Could this be a problem with my shoes? These blisters are very painful and I don't know how I've coped with them for 2 years - they're stopping me from running further. If it is a problem with my shoes, how do I get fitted properly? I walked/trotted around the shop when I was trying this pair on for a good 10-15 minutes and suffered no pain. Thanks for any advice you can give, runnit! :) TL;DR:

My shoes give me blisters, not sure why, also not sure what to look for when trying shoes on as these were very comfortable when trying them on in the shop.

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by (most likely) falling for a con POST: So this literally just happened. I had a different story planned for my first post on here that's much more humorous, but I guess this takes the slot instead. I'm from Tennessee, but I'm in Indiana for work this week. I'm at a gas station to use the restroom and I'm sitting in my car when I get a knock on my window and this guy starts asking if I'm really from Tennessee and is happy to see another southerner. He's a dairy farmer, and stranded here since his drop off location already closed and they need gas money and have a calf in tow. I listen to his story, next thing I know I'm at the ATM giving this guy 100 bucks for 2 tanks of gas. He's saying he's going to pay me back plus the ATM fee, and send me some cheese from their farm as a thank you. I gave him my card (has a business address he can "send my money to"), and I got his information before I gave him the money. I still do not feel good about this, it all happened so fast. I looked up the details be gave me and it's not all adding up. So now I'm sitting here, pretty sure I got conned and I'm out 100 bucks, and now I can't focus on work.I guess now I have to wait and see if he'll actually pay me back, but most likely not... TL;DR:

Thought I was too smart to get conned, had a dairy farmer con me out of 100 bucks since they were stranded. Most likely won't get my 100 bucks back and no cheese :(

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Feeling bitter and obsessive [25f] because of a friends [26f] arrogant attitude. Why can't I just forget it? POST: We've been friends for a good 8 years or so - I'd say fairly close in the past but not best friends. Roughly 4 years ago she moved to the city and ever since has acted very arrogant and it's really changed my opinion of her. I could go on for ages about her attitude towards me and my friends back home, but there's no point. After trying to make our friendship work but feeling like I was being kicked in the teeth most the time, I decided about 12 months ago to distance myself. When she visited I would stop making an effort, as did she - I didn't want to be associated with her. I'm glad I did, but weirdly I feel like an almost obsessed with disliking her. I get really rattled by the tiniest thing, which isn't like me. Sound ridiculous, I know! But whenever I hear of her I always think the worst (because of things she's said and done in the past) and I don't seem to be able to shift the bitterness of this dead relationship. Why do I even care!? Will these feelings go away naturally? Is there something I need to deal with here? Am I just crazy? TL;DR:

friend moved to the city, became arrogant, I distanced myself but for some reason can't let go of my bitterness

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: My boyfriend thinks I need to get fit and lose weight. POST: The title sounds horrible. My boyfriend has always sort of been into being fit, but it has become more prominent in the last few months. Recently he told me I should get fit, which isn't a completely unfair statement, and not the first time he has said something like this. But the other times it was after I'd tried to lift something and couldn't, or we'd run to catch a train and I was slower than him, and it was said in a more joking manner. This time he said it out of the blue like it's been on his mind, and then proceeded to subtly say things about my weight and also jokingly stuff like 'you could look like her!'. I know he doesn't mean to offend me, we've been together for almost 2 years now and we're pretty comfortable together, but to think he could have been thinking about this sort of thing the whole time we've been together is honestly painful. I know most girls are like 'oo he called you fat! DUMP HIM' But he is the main person in the world I want to be attracted to me, it's not a completely unfair request in my opinion, if he was ever doing something I found unattractive, I hope I'd be comfortable enough to tell the truth too. The thing is my weight has never been something that I've been overly concerned about (I'm an Aus 10-12), I mean like any female I'd like to be a bit thinner, but it's not something that's really been in my mind a lot. But now I'm not even sure I want him to touch me because I'm afraid of what he is actually thinking. I am going to try to get fit (and hopefully in the process lose some weight), but I don't know how to get past what he's said, how will I know when I'm fit enough or thin enough? It feels like it's something that has no end. TL;DR:

My boyfriend thinks I should get fit and lose weight, I am going to try but I don't know how to act around him in the mean time, or when I've done enough.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me[18M] and my girlfriend [19F] of 6 months broke up and I am very confused. POST: Well, me and my girlfriend had been seemingly very happy together in our relationship. Over the past month though, it seemed like she wanted to talk less and less with me. Yesterday, my friend got on one of her friends nerves who took it out on my girlfriend who subsequently broke up with me. She said that she needed some time to figure things out for herself, which is fair enough I understand that and I want her to be happy. We live about an hour away so we both have our own groups of friends and only really hang out when we are dates and whatnot just the two of us rather than with others. Her friend then told me that she apparently cheats on me "constantly" and then proceeded to say some of the nastiest things that I had ever heard about someone about her. I personally had been advising her to cut contact with this guy as he had been a bad influence, with hard drugs and other things that you really do not want to get in to. She kept vouching for him, but yesterday I guess finally decided they shouldn't be friends. Really I am mainly confused about whether I should believe the friend who says that she cheated on me, or if I should believe her who says that she never did and may want to get back together once she figures herself out. TL;DR:

Odd breakup with girlfriend leads to confusing situation about her faithfulness towards me and whether or not I should consider getting back together with her.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [22F] have invested myself in a friendship too much with my best friend [22M] and don't know how to move on. POST: I've been good friends with a boy called Sam for roughly 2 years now. We've been in constant touch, and as many of the posts here have discussed, yes, I do have feelings for him. He claimed to have feelings too but was always vague about it. Starting from the beginning, we've been good friends since 2013 April and have been in constant touch since then. We met in college abroad and come from the same city back in our country, We text/talk 24/7 and impart lot of personal things. I always thought we'd end up getting together but circumstances wouldn't allow it. Once I told him that I do like him, it was wrong timing as he was leaving college and moving back to our country (and of course I knew this). But we still kept in touch for the past one year..same things - talking everyday, texting 24/7, helping him to get his life in track and he with me, etc. Recently, he's been pursuing a girl he likes and honestly, I don't mind. If he's happy, I'm happy. But I just want to move on. More than him, it's the whole situation. This isn't the first time someone has maintained a good friendship with me and gone on to pursue someone else. I've been in this situation before and I'm tired of it. Not just in a romantic sense, but even in general friendships. I have invested myself in this friendship so much, I don't want it to go to waste. I also don't want our friendship to affect our respective relationships, now or in the future. I'm not crying or sad or anything. I just want to know how I can be more platonic about this friendship as it is something I put before anything between Sam and I. TL;DR:

I [22F] have invested myself in a friendship too much with my best friend [22M] and don't know how to move on.

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by not having proper names for the numbers in my phone POST: It's the start of a glorious weekend. Getting home from a long day, hanging out with close friends, getting the occasional call or text message to jump from one activity to the next. Early evening I receive a text from what I believed, at the time, was a beautiful, yet intelligent woman I had been texting earlier that day. She's flirting with me, I'm flirting back and all is going smoothly. This sort of stuff carries on for the next few hours, until she she says she has to walk home from a local fast food restaurant. I ask her which establishment that she had dined (*Actually wouldn't call this dining, but rather eating out*) that particular evening. She says that it was one that was particularly close by. I begin to ask whether she had moved from one home to another one close by, she says no. At the time, this didn't raise a red flag. Next day, we text back and forth. The usual winky face and the cliche flirtatious remark is made towards one another and I'm thinking to myself " Wow, could this be going any better?" But then, reality struck. I received a call from the attractive woman that I had been texting the previous day and I looked at the number thinking "Oh God, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" Soon, I scrolled through my text messages realizing that I was texting an obese, not so attractive male associate of mine. In shock, I instantly told the attractive female what the situation was, she laughed, of course, at what had happened. I still have yet to reply to the male associate of mine in fear of the awkwardness that has ensued. TL;DR:

Make sure you know who you are testing, or else you may find things out about your associates that you wouldn't want to know.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My friend [19M] is on the verge of cheating with my other friend [20M]'s girlfriend POST: I'm in a bit of a dilemma here. One of my best friends (let's call him A) has recently started becoming very close to my other friends (B) girlfriend (C). Just for some addition info, A and B are also both friends. They've only been talking for a few weeks now and it's gone from regular chatting to dirty talk etc. The girl is now hiding these chats from her boyfriend. I've already told him how I feel about it and he's just got a general idgaf attitude. I feel kind of sick because I don't really want to get involved because there's a risk of losing both friends but it doesn't feel right sitting doing nothing when one of my friends could end up getting hurt. TL;DR:

Friend is close to cheating on other friend with his girlfriend. I'm unsure whether I should get involved or leave it.

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by saying the wrong thing in a phone interview POST: I have been looking for a job for a pretty long time. I am about 9 months unemployed, I need money, and more importantly I want to "grow up" and get my life together. I told this story when I went out with friends tonight, it's a story they had to hear in person. So here is my amazing fuck up of the day. I had just finished an interview and went over to my granny's who lived really close and I hadn't seen her in a while. I head on over and we play some crib, chatting it up. My phone rings and it's a phone interview. I excuse myself from the table, go to my old room and begin this process. Now, my mind had been wandering that day and it was just the basic questions at first: Why do you want to work here? If you saw your coworker doing something illegal how would you respond? We get a bit more casual with the interview as she asks me some other questions. We get to the "greatest strength, biggest weakness" stuff and this is where I fucked up. Because I would be working near a lot of power tools, some heights, think of a construction site, she had wanted to see if I was comfortable in this work environment. She asked me "What is your biggest fear" and I blurted out "Well my biggest fear is that I have autism and no one has bothered to tell me." Dead. Fucking. Silence. About 10 seconds later it's "W-what, excuse me?" My mind was racing at this point "FUCK did I just say that outloud?" I really fucked up. At this point it wasn't salvageable. I just said a "I'm sorry, thank you for your time, I have to go. Thanks for considering me in this position." I hung up, I'm sure she was still wondering WHO could say that during an interview. But I have never ever fucked up that bad on an interview. I've had poor interviews, sure, but everyone does when they are just starting out. I don't even want to apply to more jobs right now. I'm thinking that I might actually be autistic. TL;DR:

During a phone interview I said my greatest fear was that I was autistic and no one had bothered to tell me. Interviewer didn't know how to respond and I hung up shortly after.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: At the weekend I [34F] broke no contact by seeing ex [30 M] (2 years together, a year since he ended it). He said he made a bad choice. POST: We had a wonderful sexy time together with not a single fight. No rose tinted glasses here, we really never argued. Out of the blue (we were making plans for the future) he left me for someone he met on holiday. I've not been able to move on at all despite doing NC and keeping busy, I still cannot think of being with anyone else. So I saw him, there was flirting and it wasn't at all awkward. He was very complimentary. He told me life is crap at the moment. He fights a lot with this woman and that it was great that it was nothing like that with me. He said he made a bad choice that he now has to live with. I saw him again yesterday and again it was all happy and from my point of view there was so much sexual tension. He looks at me again in that way. You know the one. That look. I don't know what to do now. He doesn't have to live with that choice. I'd have him back right now. No question. Could he be waiting for me to let him know that? To me it's obvious, I've been living with missing him all this time, I also miss the greatest friend I've ever had. I assume he knows this but do I need to spell it out? But then there's that playing hard to get thing I hear men like! TL;DR:

Ex said he made a bad choice in ending it. Do I make a move and let him know I'm still interested?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (23F) have a crush on (22M), mutual feeling, but he just got out of a relationship. POST: Throwaway acct. Hokay. So. I have kinda known this guy for a year or so now, but recently got closer to him due to getting a second job at our old place of work (place closed down). I started getting feelings for him about a month and a half or so ago, but didn't say anything for the respect of his relationship with his (now ex) girlfriend. About a month ago, his (ex) girlfriend broke up with him and he was pretty devastated but kept his head up. I hung out with him a couple times, just as friends, until the last time we hung out. I went to his house and he told me that he liked me ect. ect. He knew exactly what I was looking for in a relationship/looking for in a guy (basically something serious), but couldn't promise anything because of the situation he was in & trying to find himself, but he would definitely like to see where things went between us. My best friend says I need to give him space (ex. not hitting him up often, giving him space, don't be so overbearing), but I don't want this guy to think I'm not interested in him anymore. We don't text often, and when we do, it is very short lived. We haven't hung out since the day he confessed feelings towards me. Basically I'm wondering what my best course of action would be? I haven't been in this situation in a verrrryyyyy long time (possibly 10 years) and I want to continue to respect his boundaries and give him as much space as he needs, but I don't want him to feel like I'm not interested in him anymore. TL;DR:

I like a guy who just got out of a relationship & he likes me back but needs space. Not sure how to approach the situation.

SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: 17 year old teenager, looking for advice on drug problem. POST: I'm 17 years old and I have a drug "problem". I'm not physically addicted (psychologically, maybe?) but I have become uncomfortable with being sober. I first started using drugs when I was 15 years old, and my drug of choice was marijuana. It was brought onto me by my older brother, and at the time I was suffering from depression. My depression was a result of sexual abuse as a child as well as witnessing physical abuse between family. At the time, I was in a rough spot. I was very depressed and I couldn't seem to get relief, but when I tried marijuana, it did help mask it. First, I started to smoke once in awhile but it soon grew out of control, I started to smoke weed a lot. Three times a day, for months. I was smoking up to 3 grams a day, and it was all free so my self control was thrown out the window. I got caught by school under the influence, had to attend a program. I went through depression again, and as soon as I got out of the program. I picked up smoking again, just as much. I ended up moving to a different state and my smoking has gradually decreased, but I started to use LSD. LSD worked really well at helping me out but it also got out of hand. I wasn't tripping daily but I tripped very frequently. As of now, I'm sober, but I have tripped LSD recently and still smoke. I always get this uncomfortable feeling with sobriety, as if life is not enjoyable without drugs. I hope somebody could help me get on track. I try to meditate and work out, but as of late I am still depressed. My depression is far better than it was 2 years ago, but it is still there. TL;DR:

17 year old, victim of depression, bad habit of smoking pot and frequent usage of LSD, looking to find comfortability in sobriety.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Girlfriend's ex-boyfriend just died and she's completely destroyed. How do I react? POST: Hey all, We're both in our early 20s and we just found out the news yesterday. They had dated probably about 5 years ago but they remained relatively close. I never really knew the guy too well, but I know that he still had really strong feelings for her. I took her out just to keep her company and let her cry on my shoulder, etc. but it's been pretty tough. She keeps sending me texts about how much she misses him, how she loved him, etc. Also, she's getting a lot of direct sympathy on facebook from all sorts of friends, as if she has lost her current boyfriend. I've really been trying to just be a solid rock for her but it's not exactly easy for me sometimes. Has anyone else had any experience with this? Should I feel like an asshole for being a bit insecure about this whole thing? I really want to stay completely supportive for her but it's hard when she's saying things like "I don't know if I'll ever get over this." TL;DR:

Girlfriend's ex died, she misses him a lot and is incredibly upset, and I feel insecure about it. Help.

SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: What do you think of this parenting analogy? POST: Raising kids is like curling. My wife and I have been lucky enough to have three awesome kids. They are smart and nice people and sometimes someone will tell me how we did such a great job raising them. I am quick to point out that I don't believe we did much, and we were mostly just lucky. I'm not fishing for compliments or being humble. I just don't think it has as much to do with the parents as everyone typically thinks. The same goes for parents who are unlucky with "difficult" kids. So here's my analogy. When you kid is born, that's the moment the stone is released down the ice. That initial momentum largely determines how far it's going to go. The parents are the sweepers, frantically trying to influence the stone's path with their brooms, and they can make some difference, but not that much really. TL;DR:

Raising kids is like curling. The initial release of the stone is when they are born, and the parents are the sweepers.

SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: What happened to me last night? POST: Like, I seriously need some ideas for what could have gone wrong. Here is the situation. I am taking summer classes working towards my bachelor's degree and I met a 27-year-old (I am 24) in my Chemistry class. She and I hit it off and have been talking for the 2+ weeks the course has been going on. Last night I took her out (to Melting Pot) for dinner and we literally did NOT have one SINGLE awkward break in conversation the entire meal. We had a couple drinks too. Then we drive back to her place. On the way back we hold hands and then when we get there she invites me in. We are drinking a little more and have the TV on. After a short while, probably 30 minutes to an hour I start to kiss her. I am being 100% honest cause I feel desperate to know what went wrong here: The kisses are absolutely GOOD kisses and I eventually start kissing her neck and shoulders and back. Then I unzip her half-zipper on the back of her dress and start kissing her there and she is like half-heartedly saying "no no." Never once got angry or anything. She just decides that she doesn't want that and that she doesn't want it to be weird between us in Chemistry. This is what she says. I just have a very tough time buying it because she was willing to go on a date with me in the first place. She also had told me throughout the night that about a few of her sexual experiences of the past so I know she is not a prude or something. Like FOR FUCK'S SAKE I cannot think what went wrong here. Please give me some ideas!!!!!! TL;DR:

Took an older girl out I met in Chemistry. Literally everything went great and she seemed very DTF. Then randomly she stopped me from making moves. WHAT HAPPENED?!

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: My boyfriend doesn't show enough affection, and I'm feeling unloved because of it. POST: I (20/f) have been dating my boyfriend (24/m) for the past 3 years with a 6 month break. I am his first everything. He was a virgin when I met him and had NEVER dated anyone before me. I have been going out with guys since I was 13, and have been in 4 relationships before we dated, with 2 of them being kind of serious. Since getting back together our relationship is so much bettter than before our break. He communicates with me, we occasionally go out on dates, and he's not afraid to show pda or say those 3 little words (all of which he never really did when we dated the first time). I'm grateful for the progress he's made, but I want more. I often surprise him at his job with lunch or treats, I make him dinner or desserts sporadically, and I buy him little trinkets. Receiving flowers every now and then, a surprise visit at my work, cute little messages, surprise date nights, and some way of actually showing me that he cares is all I want. I'm not sure how to tell him this without being a bitch about. Our relationship is far from boring, but hearing I love you is not the same as a person showing that they love you. TL;DR:

My inexperienced boyfriend says he loves me more than he shows me and it's starting to make me feel like his words are empty. I'm not sure how to bring it up to him in a reasonable manor.

SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice TITLE: Advice for a traffic ticket POST: Today I was pulled over for going 60 in a 35. Now, before you all tell me that speeding is bad, I was in a 55 zone before and was applying my breaks when the officer clocked me. When I crossed over into the 35, I was going 50. When the officer turned on his lights, I pulled over, and he still cited me for a 60 in a 35. I have a court date two weeks from today (the 20th) I was wondering, what is it like going to the court house? A friend of mine told me that she went to the court and she didn't even see the judge, she just sat in a room with the officer who pulled her and he knocked her down to two points and a $150 fine. What should I wear to the court house? And what kind of fine should I be expecting? And is there any way I can get the ensuing fine reduced at all? Thanks for your help. TL;DR:

I got pulled going 25 over the speed limit, what should I wear, say, and do at the court house.

SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: I [31M] almost never talk to the girl I'm seeing [30F] between meetups POST: (Originally posted in r/relationships) I've been dating someone for about 2 months now. I really like her and we're exclusive. The thing is, she really works A LOT, and works night shift, so I only get to see her once a week. While that's less than ideal, it's her job, so what can I do about it, right? When we're together she's completely there but... The thing that bothers me is that we almost never talk over text, email, or phone during the week. I'll send her texts and emails here and there during the week, but they are almost never responded to. I know she reads them because she'll comment on how she found them funny or "they made her day" later. Like...5 days later. I understand that she has a hectic job and that our sleep schedules are completely reversed, but how much trouble is it to send a short text to let me know that she's at least still alive instead of a last minute "sure let's meet tonight"? The fact that we see each other once a week means that our relationship is progressing more slowly than usual. The fact that there's little to no communication in between dates is almost making it...stagnant. For example, the last time I saw her was 8 days ago, and the last time we communicated was 6 days ago. IMO that's too much of a gap to maintain a relationship... What exactly should I do about this? So far I've just been chalking it up to her personality and job and just dealing with it, but it's starting to bother me. I haven't said anything about it yet since we're just 2 months into it and she's a person who values her independence and free time, on top of being busy and frequently overworked. I don't want to seem either too clingy or not considerate of her situation. TL;DR:

I'm dating someone that I only see once a week, but doesn't talk to me much during the week. Don't feel like our relationship is progressing much. Don't know if I should say anything to her yet.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [20/m] confused on [20/f] girlfriend: How do you know you really are losing interest in a SO and it's not just a phase or something stupid? POST: I've never had this before with her. I would always hang with her since I was always free (jobless). My days were pretty much spent on her, well in a larger scale you can say the past 2 years were largely spent on her. Of course I've seen my friends, but 90% of those 2 years were her, which at the time I didn't mind. Also I didn't make new friends in college so those friends I just said I see are high school friends. Now I got a job back in June, so of course there's new people to talk to and such else. I don't know if this helps my question but most of co-workers are women, MOST not all. So ever since this job I've been wanting to be with her less and on a daily basis she would annoy me, the simple things she does. I don't know if this is just a dumb phase or what. If anything else you need to ask let me know, i'll answer. TL;DR:

Been with this girl for 2 years and most of those 2 year have been spent on her. Now with a new job and new friends, it's a different lifestyle and it's making me confused on the relationship.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Boyfriend (24) ditched me (25) at the strip club POST: I honestly don't even know what to say or think about it. I just feel so disrespected. And he knows it. I want to say that again because I know a lot of people are going to say "talk to him." I feel that I've beat this subject like a dead horse; and I'm still not okay. I went to the strip club with him and a few friends because we were all out and they desperately wanted to go and wanted me to come with. So I did. I have no problem with strip clubs really...I've been to a few of them for parties etc. What bugged me was that we were there for about 15-20 minutes and he well...ditched me. He went off with out of his other guy friends and got lap dances. Whatever lap dances don't bug me it's the fact that I was ditched in the strip club and sat by myself. He was gone for a good 20-25 minutes. We have been dating for almost 3 years and I don't want to simply throw a relationship away but this pisses me off and he routinely does things like this. Never shows any kind of appreciation or interesting in things that I find important like our anniversary or Christmas. There is so much but this one really just made me so mad and I don't know what to do. Getting ditched sucks yes, but I was even more nervous because we were in a city far from home I didn't totally know where we were etc...Am i being irrational? Perhaps I'm being irrational. TL;DR:

Boyfriend ditched me at the strip club to get lap dances. I was left alone for about 25 minutes. wtf?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My girlfriend is putting loads of pressure on me about the choice of breaking up or long distance, advice? POST: I'm 20, and my girlfriend is turning 20 this autumn, and yesterday was our 1 year anniversary I want to search for an apprenticeship for a job which I have wanted to do for 6 years now. I've had no luck about finding this apprenticeship so for and my girlfriend is moving 3 hours away to study at university. I hate long distance, I need the person to both be there with me and enjoy eachother's company but also sexually. Having an open relationship won't work. It would be irresponsible of me both to her but also economically in the case that I move with her and then have to move away for the apprenticeship. This woman is perfect for me in every way, only if I would have met her when I'm ready to settle down. I fear that if I break up with her, she's gone, because she is perfect for most men that want's to settle down. She's giving me 5 hours to make a decision if I want to break up or not. I want her but can't handle the long distance as I said, you can't have the cake and eat it, right? I feel that it is really selfish from her side to pressure me into this since my motto has always been; "I won't stop anyone from doing what they want in their life, and I won't be stopped." With that being said, It's like she want's me to move with no regard for my wishes in getting this job, no matter what it takes. I'm not certain if the text makes any sense, but if you have any word of advice, I would greatly appreciate them. TL;DR:

Girlfriend is moving and want to stay together, whilst I think it would be a stupid idea since I might have to move away again for at least a year.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: bf (20) picks disrespectful female friends over me his gf (20)of 3 years POST: Me(20 f) and my bf (20 m) have been together for 3 years now. We've had our ups and downs and all that but now I am facing a problem in this relationship which I can't ignore. My bf has some friends (f and m friends) and some of them are being rude and disrespecting me and as his gf I ofcourse expect him to help and support me. But he does not seem to care about the problem at all, instead he talks about it as it being nothing and im just being dramatic. He talks about loving meeting his friends and how much fun they have together. I have tried to talk to him about it but he does not seem to care at all and would rather meet them than being with me. I dont really know what to do know? TL;DR:

bf does not care about his friend disrespecting me his gf. I have approached him about it but he does not seem to care.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [17/M] So she (17/F) has been through some s**t... POST: Right off the bat, I care about her. Both her thoughts and her feelings. I can't stand thinking about her in pain or distress. But at the same time, I can't help but wonder if I am being to interested at our age. I know that plenty of teen relationships don't end up going past High School even they even last for a few years. My GF was adopted when she was old enough to remember her Bio-parents (I think around 9 or 10). I don't really know the circumstance behind her adoption, but obviously this is a touchy subject. It has affected her since and she has a plethora of things plaguing her. Anger issues, depression, anxiety, etc. She also cuts. She had people from her old school (transferred in year 10) harass her on the internet and tell her to kill herself last week and she cut her wrist alot. I saw but didnt bring it up and did my best to cheer her up. She opened up to me saying she has never had a guy care so much about her and that they usually run away from her when she tells them about everything going on with her. I was just wondering if I should be careful with how much care and interest I put into our relationship in case she sees me vase she can pour her problems into and leave said vase once it is full and she doesn't need me anymore. TL;DR:

My GF has a lot of problems I want to help with, but I am worried she might move on if I open up too much.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My mother has been in a relationship for 2 years that is abusive. I don't know what to do. Please help. POST: I'm 25, and my mother is 43. She has been in an abusive relationship with a 52 year old man for 2 years. Without getting into too much detail, he lives with her and is very controlling of her. He knows her email password, and has her emails forwarded to his. He makes her take down photos of herself on facebook. These photos could be of her, or of her and a group of people..some of which are men. Also, she is not allowed to go out if there is another man present. There is much more that goes on than what I have listed. I have talked to her a few times about this when I still lived at home. She blew me off, saying that it was no big deal, etc. Today, I spoke with one of her long time friends who shares my concerns. I don't know what I can do at this point. My mother doesn't listen to me, her friends, or even her own mother. TL;DR:

Mother is in an abusive relationship, and won't listen to friends or family who have raised concern over the course of the relationship ; please help!

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [19M] am afraid my mistakes that I am working on are going to be too much for my [18F] girlfriend POST: So a little backstory. Me and my girlfriend met in high school we had an interest in each other but things went sour. Like really sour we didn't talk for two years. But then all of a sudden one night we are at a party and we start talking I ask her to show me the bathroom since she's been to the place before and she ends up kissing me when we are alone this starts this whole relationship which I can honestly say is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. So fast forwarding we are nine months in at the moment and we are on break. I have been unapreciative and controlling of her decisions to hangout with her guy friends due to how things ended two years ago and she was totally in the right for putting me in my place and not taking my shit anymore. However I feel like I have taken a good hard look at what I have done and am working on changing my behavior because I love her. But she is still not sure if she wants to go down the road of giving me a chance because she doesn't want me to hurt her again by going back to how I was before this happened. She doesn't believe I have changed and I don't know how to show her. I feel like the only way I can actually show it is if she gives me a chance and takes a leap of faith. I have slipped a few times and have overreacted to some things she says and she has called me on it and she has said that this is why she was leaning towards yes but now is not. She is taking a week to think about what she wants and I just don't know what I can do to assure her that I want to make these changes and continue our relationship. Thanks for reading and any responses TL;DR:

I messed up with my girlfriend by being a total ass to her she put us on break and I am really working on fixing my downfalls however she doesn't known If she can believe this and give me this Chance.

SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: My (19f) current man-friend (22m) is developing a bromance with my friend (20m) who happens to be a past hook-up of mine. I feel sort of uncomfortable with this. Advice? (re-post from /r/relationships) POST: Alright, so last year at the beginning of my college career I hooked up with a guy friend for a few weeks. It didn't work out and we decided to stay friends. There is literally no attraction or sexual tension between us anymore-- in fact, the two of us like to pretend it never actually happened. Fast forward to present time, the end of my sophomore year at university. I've been casually dating this guy for about 1.5 months and I really like him. However, him and my friend (the past hook-up) get along AMAZINGLY. I swear, they're like long lost brothers and have everything in common with one another! Sounds great, right? Here's the problem. I of course, don't mind my friends being friends with the people I'm dating. But I'm kind of worried because everything is casual at the moment and I'm not really sure where the possible relationship is headed. If my man-friend and my (legitimate) friend continue to build a bromance, what's going to happen if my casual relationship fails? I don't want to have to see him hanging around my friends all the time if we're not together. Before you ask, yes, my current man-friend knows about my brief and regrettable past with my other friend. That's not an issue. In fact, their bromance isn't even the real problem. All of my friends really love my man-friend and I'm just worried about what would happen if it fizzles out. TL;DR:

man-friend and actual friend have developed an intense bromance. It makes me uncomfortable because I'm worried what would happen if the dating relationship falls apart. Help?

SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by introducing an 8-year old to a picturebook on factory farming POST: This is a fairly non-remarkable story, but I felt the need to get it off my chest because I feel badly about it. Maybe I'm overreacting. After a Unitarian Universalist meeting today, I was perusing their library. I sat down with a giant picturebook called CAFO, about the negative effects of factory farming. Soon after, a mother with two children sat down next to me. One of them (I'm guessing around 8) kept looking over at my book. I decided it might be a good idea to put it back since it contains some heavy subject matter, but for whatever reason I kept reading for a bit. It was fairly tasteful and didn't include overly graphic images. After a few minutes, I got up and put the book back. I noticed that the child, while his mother was reading to the other child, went over and picked the book up and started reading it. TL;DR:

I may have introduced a young child to a graphic book about some very dark subject matter. I hope I haven't hurt his mental health at all. Am I overreacting to feel terrible about this?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [27 M] am terrified to start dating because of my terrible sexual performance POST: *First off, apologies if this is the wrong place for this - if so please just let me know. It does involve sexual details but the focus is on how it's crippling my relationship status* So I just turned 27, and have been single for 4 years now. I've had a couple (semi-serious) relationships before, but my sexual performance has been terrible in both. I'm decent at foreplay but have issues "keeping it up" and lasting longer than 30 seconds, and I've never gotten better over the course of these previous relationships. I was lucky enough in the first relationship in that my gf was patient, and stayed with me despite all this. In my second, it was a serious strain, and she eventually left me for my coworker. It was mentally debilitating then, but now that I'm older it's even more crippling. I'm not too worried about attracting girls, but my confidence is shot because of this and I don't know how to approach a future relationship with this being the reality. I realize this is open-ended and vague, and would greatly appreciate any advice. TL;DR:

Can't perform or last long in bed despite two relationships, and am too afraid to even date again as a result.

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [23 F] asked my semi-close male friend [23 M] on a Valentine's date, and he went out of his way to make sure it was a "just friends" situation. Why so pre-emptive? POST: I've been friends with this guy for about 3 years now. We met in college, and we come from opposite sides of the tracks. He's a white guy with senators in his family; his mom is a lawyer, dad is a judge. I'm a black girl who grew up in a trailer park, never had much money, but I know how to mingle in both worlds. Comedy brought us together, and I would say that we're kinda close. The kind of friends that don't necessarily talk every day, but when we do, there's meaningful conversation. I won two tickets to a Valentine's Day food and beverage tasting at my job, and I asked him if he wanted to be my date. I'm not into this dude. Of my friends that I don't work with, he lives closest to me, so I decided to ask him. He answers, "I can maybe do that, but just as friends." That hurt my feelings. I've never let on to this guy that I was interested in being more than friends with him. If anything, he's the one who's initiated "platonic" cuddling and like activities with me. I supplied the background info because I have a theory that if I looked different, had a different upbringing, then he would have asked me out a long time ago. But because I'm this large loud black girl with a mohawk (who don't give a fuck), he can't exactly take me home to Mama. Why be so pre-emptive about making sure that this was a "just friends" thing? By the way, I took my invite back. Don't fucking put me in a box, dude. You're not doing me any favors. TL;DR:

Guy friend makes sure that my valentine's invite was "just friends" when I never let on that I wanted to be more than that. Why be so afraid of me asking him out?

SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [16 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 3.5 years, I want an adult's opinion; how likely is it that we'll be "together forever"? POST: Before I explain, keep in mind I'm not the best at writing so it might be a little confusing. Me and my girlfriend, Lindsey, have been dating for a while now. It's been hard, we've been through a lot together, but we're still together today, happily. I know the whole "you're kids, you have your whole lives ahead of you and what you want now is completely different from what you'll want 5 years from now" thing. I know I'm young, but regardless of my age, I wanna know if it's really a possibility. What are the pros and cons of dating my "high school lover"? There's a lot of background here that I don't think is necessary to share because of the question, but if you'd like to know anything feel free to ask. I wanna know everything I can that'll help us last as long as we can. TL;DR:

As the title says, how likely is it that I'll be with my girlfriend forever/marry her and have children with her?