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SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I think I might have given out alot of my info to a felon.
POST: I feel incredibly stupid and I regret my actions but I can't take it back now. Please don't berate me, I know what I did was stupid.
I received a call from someone saying they were from VISA and that they could qualify me for lowering my interest. Long story short I gave my name, card numbers, last 4 of SSN, birthdate, and address. I got suspicious when they asked about mother's maiden name so I did not give that out and closed communication.
Then I got a call about putting in money to an account for felons...I don't know if they are connected but it was a day after the other call. Yesterday I cancelled the cards I gave the info of and today I changed my number. Based on the company's name and the name I was given, he was in the system for scamming.
I almost never give out my number and I'm usually very cautious and paranoid about these things but I have simply been so stressed out about money lately that I desperately jumped at the chance to lower my payments.
I already monitor my credit report + cards so I'm not too worried about them opening accounts. I am freaking out over giving my address...I have anxiety and all I want to do right now is cancel my lease and move to a new place. Should I move out? This is causing me stress and I'm already in debt so breaking my lease would not be a good move...but...I don't know. I can try to pass my lease and get another place in the same complex since I really like where I live now. If they were to try and qualify me again I'm not even sure if I'd pass. I have never missed a payment but my credit is kind of bad. Sorry if this sounds unorganized.
TL;DR: | gave my info incl address, name, birthday, last 4 ssn, card numbers, to a scammer and I am wondering if I should move somewhere new. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/M] My girlfriend [19/F] isn't sure if we should date anymore.
POST: Hello relationship_advice, I have been with this girl for the better part of 7 months now but we've been very important to one another for years beforehand, and we had actually dated before but broke up because of her cheating on me.
The last few months I have felt underappreciated and she has been pushing me away, she tells me that I've changed but I feel like that's because I've lost my job and become more sad, not sitting at a 10/10 anymore nowadays and I've been meaning to but its like every time we talk, we aren't really chatting about it we are more just telling each other stories with a nod and a "yeah". Her father passed away last week Monday and I was with her everyday bringing her chocolate and soda but I said the wrong thing and she got mad at me for it, then the next few days we hardly talked and today's the deal where we really discussed anything. She is the type who gets angry and talks passionately while I am the one who would much rather just talk it out with the person and figure out the issue. We are both leader types so its hard for either of us to back down. She's a much better arguer then I, and often can talk circles around me (but I've tried to not let that on).
Anyways she said that she's not sure I'm who she wants anymore, and she told me she wants to be young and live her life, she also said she isn't looking for anything serious she just wants to have fun, then there is me on the other hand who would love to settle down with her, I'm not gonna propose and shit like that but to me when she says something like that I think " why even mention it? ".
Idk man. I'll add more as requested and this is my first post so I'll edit anything that needs it.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend isn't sure what she wants, we've both been stressed out lately, things are harder and I think I'm suffering a small sad spell. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Landlord wants to charge extra for hose access? Is she within her rights to do so?
POST: I rent in New Jersey in a beach town.
Recently, the landlord told me it would be ok to use the hose to rinse my feet after surfing/going to the beach, etc., with my main concern being not wanting to clog her shower drains with surf wax/sand.
She then shuts off the hose, and wants me to pay $50 more per month for access to the hose, which is insane because the other tenants in the building would also be using it. I'm not paying for hose access for them.
The lease says that hot water, water, and sewer are included. So why not the hose? It never specifies that the hose would be excluded or extra.
Is she allowed to do this? I've never heard of such a thing.
I'm trying to be courteous by not clogging drains, and this all seems a little ridiculous.
We don't even have a washing machine, and I would use that hose 1-3 times a week as it is New Jersey and there isn't that much surf.
Among most people I've talked to, even with washing machines, their water bill is around $60.
TL;DR: | landlord wants $50 a month extra for hose access. can she do that? water is water no matter where it comes from, and I don't want to clog her drains. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18F] am not sure when to say "I love you" to my relatively new boyfriend [18M]
POST: We've only been dating for almost a month (as of the 10th). I've known him for a little while, but not that long. We met when we were young at an arts camp and we had typical little-kid crushes on each other, but then I didn't see him again until he started dating one of my best friends. I didn't remember him. I only knew him as my best friend's boyfriend. I was dating someone else at the time as well. Nothing romantic between us at the time, obviously. So there's not a lot of backstory. We met again at our town's 4th of July celebration with some other friends and hit it off immediately. We made it official on the 10th. We've gotten along really well. We're still young, so we're in that kind of "honeymoon" phase I guess where we're all over each other, but I don't want that to mess things up in the future. He wants to tell me that he loves me, but I'm not sure I'm ready. I've said it too early before and it messed things up.
TL;DR: | We're young, we've been dating for about a month, and we're still a little heart-eyed. How do I know when the right time to say I love you is? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Pay off student loans?
POST: When I was in high school I thought I'd want lots of money.
10 years later and I've ended up having a much more modest living and never exceeded the threshold for automatic student loan repayments to kick in.
I'm not married nor do I have kids, is there really any reason for me to voluntarily repay my student loan? It does have about 2.25% interest rate.
i have no desire to live a more lavish life than I do currently and im on less than half the income threshold for mandatory payments which scales with inflation, meaning I will probably never reach it. The only possible repercussions is the debt being deducted from my estate on death but i currently have no dependants or plans for any.
Additionally my savings account gives 3.5% compared to the 2.5% charged on my loan.
TL;DR: | ignore student loan that I'd never be forced to pay or pay it down incase of future dependants so it doesn't effect estate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My friend [16/f] has been acting really weird with me [16/m] and I don't know how to handle it.
POST: Alright so about 3 years ago I asked my friend about and I got flat out rejected. Since then, nothing happened but we were still good friends and we never talked about what happened.
Since the beginning of this year, she has been flirting with me quite a bit, sometimes with it going pretty far. She would be very touchy with me, sleeping on me during car rides, sitting on me, lots of hugging, that type of thing. The thing that got I noticed the most was when she was over at my house with a few friends, I was lying down on my bed and she sat on me and then asked to see my abs. I let her and then complemented me and we got up and then she made a joke about me being a stripper and reached under my boxers to place a dollar bill; and then later that night she stayed the night and slept next to me.
After that whole thing (this was about 3-4 months ago) I confronted her and asked if anything had been going on, she said that there wasn't and so I told her that if she isn't into that she should tone it down a little.
Moving on to recently, last friday night to be exact, she started to get flirty again. Me, her, and a few other friends went out bowling and she was very playful with me. For example, I went up to bowl and my form was awful, so to make fun of me, she went up and pressed herself behind me and showed me how to do it with her body. She then made a joke about us being in a romcom and then I got a strike...everybody was watching so I was pretty embarrassed. She would then go on to hug me a lot when I would go up, and she was making a lot of comments about me too.
So anyway, I can't tell if she is actually interested, or just trying to lead me on, or if she is leading me on without even knowing it. Any advice would be helpful, thanks.
TL;DR: | My friend flirted with me a lot, I confronted her, she said nothing was going on, 4 months later she is doing it again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [queue] Me [M17] feeling down for some reason hoping for some help
POST: This is my first time posting so I hope I'm doing this right. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend [F17] for more than a year and everything has been going great until she and I left for vacation. I've noticed a sense of sadness well up in my chest before we both left and now find myself feeling an empty feeling. Of course we've had our problems which we were able to overcome and this isn't the first time I've spent time away from her but I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way now.
Our relationship mostly consists of going to each others house to hang out and relax and occasionally go out to eat or watch a movie. All of a sudden I began to have malicious thoughts and feelings in which I questioned my own happiness and the relationship, wondering if I truly loved this girl. In my heart I know I love her but I can't pinpoint why I would ever feel this sort of emptiness and I just wish I'd learn to just be happy when everything is going well. I don't ever plan on leaving her and I'm hoping that this is just a phase that will blow through. Has anyone else experienced this feeling in their relationships and if so were you able to overcome it? This is only my first go at a real relationship so I hope those with experience can help. Thanks
TL;DR: | Girlfriend left on vacation, I'm facing a sadness I've not felt before and begin to question relationship. I don't want this to ruin our bond and throw away everything we went through. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a 29 year-old male dating a 24 year-old female and need some advice on how to handle aggressive females.
POST: As stated in the title, I'm a 29 year-old male dating a 24 year-old female. We've been dating for somewhere around 5 months and everything is terrific.
We're both incredibly confident and attractive, so anytime we go out people are intrigued by us and are drawn to us. Guys usually come up and try hitting on her, which honestly doesn't bother me at all, because I'm not the jealous type, she's not the kind of girl I would have to worry about, and they usually become intimidated by me after a bit and leave us alone. I know that I can't control people like that and more importantly I can't blame them - my girlfriend is fucking hot.
The problem is when women come up to hit on her. Nearly anytime we go to a club or a party, there's always a girl or two that make a beeline for her and start hitting very aggressively on her and right in front of me. It's very insidious situation as their approach is almost always the same - they come up and start complimenting her clothes, then her body, then they start trying to grabbing her ass and boobs, buy her drinks, steal her phone to get her number or for them to put their number in there. They (the other girls) try to play it off like it's a "girl thing" and that I just wouldn't understand as a male. I feel like they're trying to get a response out of me so that they can then play they whole "your boyfriend is jealous and controlling - you don't need him" angle. And again, I can't blame them for being attracted to my girlfriend, but it gets annoying when you're out trying to have a good time and they're doing everything they can to ruin it.
What's the best way to handle this?
TL;DR: | Women aggressively hit on my girlfriend anytime we go out and do everything they can to get a response out of me so that they can try to insidiously get with my girl. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [27 M] pushed me [26 F] to the ground during an argument. Conflicted by my love for him, and having respect for myself.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 4 years, lived together for 1. Everything is great and we are still madly in love like we were when we first met. He's my best friend. However, a week ago we got into a verbal argument and he ended up pushing/throwing me down to the ground.
He has never laid a hand on me nor had he ever talked violently to me before, so this came to a complete shock to both of us. The fight immediately came to an stop as he apologized over and over for becoming physical and making sure I wasn't hurt. Thankfully I was okay, just in shock.
The next few days consisted of a lot of crying and apologizing from him. I've always told myself any amount of physical abuse is not okay in any relationship and I never understood why some people still stayed in those situations...this is where I feel lost. I love him so much, and he isn't a bad guy. I also know that he loves me, he shows me every day. Part of me knows that no matter how much we love each other, physical abuse will never be okay. The other part of me is convinced that it was just a bad night, I wasn't hurt, and that it'll never happen again....and if it did I would hope that I would leave.
The thought of leaving him kills me...we've planned a life together. When we'd get married, where we'd live, all that jazz. He's my best friend.
Those of you who have been in similar situations, what did you do? If you left the relationship...how did you find the strength? How do you even go about starting over? Those of you who have stayed, has it worked out?
Thanks in advance for those who read this and provide some insight from a different perspective.
TL;DR: | SO shoved me to the ground during an argument...something completely out of character for him. Conflicted from knowing it was wrong of him, but still loving him and devastated at the thought of leaving. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21M] relationship with [20F] for 2 years, starting to miss being single
POST: Okay so, i've been seeing my girlfriend for almost 2 years by now. I have been really happy with her, and i do love her. But lately i've just been thinking a lot about whether or not this relationship is the right thing for me.
Well, last night i went out with 3 guys from school, i was drunk and in a good mood, and the club was packed. Me and one of the boys start talking to these 2 girls, just superficial joking etc. but after i while i started being somewhat interested in one of them.
So i end up talking to this girl for a couple hours outside, after the others went home. In the end i got up and said bye, we didn't exchange numbers or anything and i have no interest in talking to her again really, it was just cool to experience it all again, talking/getting to know girls (with other motives than talking) - not that i would EVER act on anything while in a relationship.
but it did make me realize that i'm almost 22 and there's not too many years left where going out every night meeting new people, and new girls, is as possible as it is now. I've had this thought for a while but this just confirmed the feeling.
Another thing holding me back is that i really do love her, and i'm her first boyfriend/first nearly everything, while i've had another long term and a ton of flings and short terms. So i recognize a lot of her behaviour from my own first long term, and i did not handle that break up well at all. Now i'm really scared of her experiencing the same as me. She is a wonderful person and she really does only deserve to be happy.
I'm pretty much sure i will regret it no matter what i do, because i don't really want to be with her but i also don't really want to not be with her.
TL;DR: | 2 year relationship, realize i have spent most of my youth in relationships, want to experience the world by myself but at the same time don't want to leave my girlfriend. Wish i had met her later in life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] am getting a bit sick and tired of being ghosted
POST: This isn't so much a question as me venting because I am very much irritated and don't really want to bug friends in person about this. When did it become okay to ignore someone that you are not interested in speaking to again? I have found myself, multiple times now, being flat out ignored by a girl after getting her number, agreeing to a date, hell even dating the girl for several months.
Its not that I am unreasonably clingy or controlling, I could care less about seeing them all the time, 1 or 2 times a week is fine with me. But recently I have found myself texting a girl trying to confirm a date after she said yes and seemed enthusiastic, only to get no response. Figure hey maybe she's busy, give it a couple days and text again and....no response again, at which time I delete her number.
Am I weird, where I think regardless of how rude or hurtful it may sound I state flat out "hey not feeling it/not interested"?
TL;DR: | Been ghosted several times lately and its getting a bit irritating. Am I expecting too much from people to just say if they changed their minds or don't want to go out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: friend had sex with my other friend's boyfriend...
POST: hey, i want to keep this as short as possible. i have a small group of friends, 2 of them are very close (i'll call them abby and emma) abby introduced me to my current boyfriend, he and i have really hit it off and become close. well a few months ago abby, emma, and i decide to take a trip to visit emma's boyfriend. it was there i discover that there is a secret that abby is hiding from emma. my boyfriend is very close with abby and knows what it is and did not tell me (i never asked because i never wanted to put him in an awkward place) until we were shit faced at mardi gras. abby had sex with emma's boyfriend. the first thing i did when i returned home was tell emma. this guy is a scumbag and has always cheated, and i wanted her to know about abby (i've confronted abby about telling her the truth and she said she never would). basically, emma is still my friend (she forgave abby as well) but i have lost everyone else in my group for being honest. i feel like crap, but not regretful of my decision. all my friends are making plans to go to europe right in front of me with no invitation. anyone have any advise or similar stories? i just feel so down.
TL;DR: | one of my good friends had sex with my other friend's boyfriend and wasn't ever going to tell her so i did. everyone forgave everyone except for me and i feel like crap. :/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Returning to college after a long absence. How do I avoid failing?
POST: So the start of this semester was going just fine, until about the middle of September we discovered that my grandmother was very ill with stage IV lung cancer. I managed to keep up with my classes fine until around the beginning of October, when things started to get worse with her illness.
We don't have a big family so the care taking was mainly left to me, my mother, and her doctors so I did have to miss a lot of classes throughout the majority of October and this month. My mother recently got approval from her work to take a leave of absence in order to care for my grandmother so I will be able to resume my coursework and try to salvage what I can before the semester ends.
I'm just having a little trouble with contacting my instructors and letting them know what was going on. One of my professors did not respond to me at all and it's been at least one week. I've tried to keep up with assignments on the syllabi and have many to turn in, I'm just not sure how to go about speaking to my professors directly.
TL;DR: | Relative got sick and had to miss a lot of classes, ready to go back now but not sure how to approach professors/instructors. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By misplacing my handgun.
POST: I always carry my gun with me in my car and then bring it inside when I get home from work or wherever. This morning I was in a rush and was operating on 4 hours sleep. So I had my hands full and just threw my gun on the passenger seat when I got in, next to my computer back pack. I pull up to the drive thru window at my local McDonalds and realize it's just in plain sight. Didn't want to scare the lady at the window so I threw it in my bag real fast.
Then I drive 30 min to work and forget it's there and don't put it in the usual spot in the car. I take the bag into work and it just sits there all day long (12 hour shift) and I go in and out of my bag for my laptop all day without realizing it's there.
Get home and reach back to grab the gun to bring it inside. NOT THERE. Freak the fuck out and try to retrace my steps and what the fuck happened. Tear the room apart, open safe, clean out car, check all the places I was last night in the house, pull apart the bed, check under it. All the places I knew I didn't even go, but just in case.
About to call the cops and report it and decide to open the bag as I forgot about the whole hiding it thing this AM. Open it up and it's just sitting there. Could have gotten fired and arrested at work, still probably would get fired if work found out.
TL;DR: | Forgot my gun in my bag, brought it into work, freaked when I couldn't find it when I got home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M/] having issues talking to another girl??
POST: Well, this might not be the right place, but here goes.
So thus far in high school I've had minor flings here and there but never found a girl I've really wanted to go after. So now in summer school I met a girl briefly and I really found a lot in common. Well, I've seen her at school now and I've yet to talk to her. I'm not an introvert or a shy persno, most people see me as overly outgoing and super hyped. However, for some reason I can't bring myself to tak to her. Is it awkward to just walk up to a lass in high school and just start talking to her? WOuld it be normal to do it when she's walking to class and act nonchalant and say something along the lines of "I saw you walking alone so I want to give you some company."
I've never had issues like this until very recently. So, I need some advice an how to go abou this and whether or not it wil be od or strange to do this. Sory if this is the wrong place, but I ned some adolescent advice from more experienced members of this community.
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Teenage dude who wants to talk to a girl he scarcely sees as he finds interest in her, doesn't know how/where to start. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I deal with my exhibitionist/peeping tom neighbors?
POST: The neighbor to the back of my house is an exhibitionist, which is totally fine in the confines of your own home, but I've been having to deal with this for far too long.
When we first moved in we noticed that the back bathroom window wasn't as translucent as we thought. We could *vividly* see *every* part of my neighbor and his wife's anatomy, and to be honest, I don't want to see my neighbor's butt hole pressed up against the glass while he is washing his legs or his wife's brown eye as she is shaving.
They know we can see them, as we have pointed it out to them many times over the years. His response to my father was, "well if your son mows our lawn once a week we won't install a blind ;-) ;-)." I was about 14 at the time. Never once did I mow their lawn and they never installed the blind. The "shows" as we have come to call them never stopped at any point. However, he has special blinds on his back windows that allow him to lower the top portion so he can peer into our backyard, which seemed to be a huge hobby of his until our landscaping blocked his view.
They've recently been remodeling their bathroom, and we thought "Fantastic! No more unwanted porn in the backyard." That was until my mother informed me that she saw that the new renovations allowed for an even better "show." Hearing about your mother vividly describe how a middle aged man scrubs his balls was just the final step.
So Reddit, I turn to you. Do we have any legal course of action to stop these unwanted shows, especially since we have a 3 year old running around and observing **everything** now?
TL;DR: | The couple behind my house are exhibitionists/peeping tom that love to put on "shows" in their not so translucent bathroom window. 9 years of this is enough. Any legal course of action? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] turned down sex with my date [21F] after hooking up on the first date
POST: I met a girl on tinder and texted her for a few days before meeting up. I ended up going to her house and hanging out with her and her two housemates and drinking for a little while before they went to bed.
When it was just the two of us, we went outside and just bullshitted and talked for hours. We were both obviously into each other, and when I was leaving we started hooking up at the bottom of the stairs. She kept dropping hints that she wanted to go upstairs until I said that I should leave.
Good or bad idea? I like her and I didn't want it to turn into a quick thing.
TL;DR: | Met girl on tinder, had good time and hooked up, on the way out turned down sex to try and establish something. Good or bad idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] want to ask out my close friend [18F], but I'm afraid I'll make it awkward
POST: Hello Reddit,
I'm very close friends with this girl I really like and I really want to ask her out. The thing is that we are close friends and if she rejects me if might make things awkward later on. I really like being friends with her and don't want to mess that up, but if she rejects me it might be hard to keep the friendship going with her and all our mutual friends knowing I like her. Is there anyway that I could ask her out without it destroying our friendship? Is there any way I could find out if she would be interested in dating me?
TL;DR: | I'm close friends with a girl I like. How do I ask her out without it destroying our friendship if she rejects me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 F] just found out my boyfriend [22 M] of 3 years masturbates after we have sex.
POST: So, throwaway because my boyfriend frequents the sub. I'm nervous and a bit of a wreck so please excuse the formatting.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years now, we have had a decently healthy sex life until I fell pregnant with our second child. After months of complications and morning sickness we stopped pretty much all physical contact including hugging in most cases and just kind of shared a bed.
The past few months I've been better and been trying to make him feel better about loss of contact in our relationship by trying to kiss him or hug him more often, offering for him to pick what sexual positions we do and sending him sneaky photos and flirty texts.
The problem is he's not exactly reacting the way he used to or even replying to messages half the time. He hugs me like he's hugging a guy friend, he barely kisses me back and when he does it's like a peck like he's paranoid someone is looking. Our sex is usually just straight to the point and then once he's done we clean up separately and he either comes to bed and rolls over or stays up "watching tv".
Today I was using his computer briefly and noticed his visited sites in chrome and didn't even really care about the porn sites until I did the stupid, paranoid girlfriend thing and looked at his history. Every time we have sex he goes online for an hour or so afterwards and watches porn or goes to those livecam sites. Even the nights I offer sex and he declines or says he's too tired he's on there.
I really try to keep up with my appearance and try to do cute things for him but the bigger I get the more I feel like he's pushing me away and it's starting to really impact on my self esteem.
Is there something more I can do to fix our relationship? I miss the intimacy and I feel like if I don't do something soon, he's just going to keep going straight to masturbating instead being with me.
TL;DR: | I'm pregnant, boyfriend won't even cuddle me half the time and he's started masturbating after sex with me as well as turning down sex. How can I fix this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: In the year 3000: With regards to the future in general, are you pessimistic or optimistic?
POST: Here's why I ask: I read articles (mostly Gizmodo or other such sites) and especially the recent coverage of CES.
I get really freaking excited for things like brilliantly fast/smart/small computers/phones/robots/cars and technology generally making our lives easier, more efficient, and just plain awesome. I think about how the future will be full of greatness and boundaries will fall and we'll be moving past previous prejudices (another civil rights triumph for gay marriage, for example).
But then I wonder if we're getting ahead of ourselves, if I'll really see some awesome things like true artificial intelligence in my lifetime. I think about the page at the end of all Popular Science magazines where they show an old cover of something that was coming soon in the future and we don't even have yet (e.g. [this one] "Popular Science Magazine in Google Books")). Will we be looking back at the PopSci covers of today in 40 years thinking "*really*? we thought that'd happen?"
I hope not. I really hope that our optimism for the future (not just the tech future) will come to bear the fruits that we're imagining. It will be awesome if it does.
TL;DR: | So do you think we're getting ahead of ourselves when thinking about an awesome future? How much progress will we make in the next half-century, and how much will be left in our imaginations or slowed in some other way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] and my relationships with men.
POST: Hi /r/relationships.
I'm a 21 year old female. I work 9 - 5:30 in a job I love, earning myself a decent enough wage for my age to both spend and save money. I am a regular gym user, with a love for outdoor sports. I am open minded, honest, kind and wear my heart on my sleeve. I am otherwise very happy and healthy with my life with everything...
...apart from men.
When I was 18 I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and with this diagnosis was able to seek the appropriate treatment. I am now free of medication, hospital care and am somewhat free of any mental issues. The only place that my illness truly grips my life is in relationships. I have an ugly view of men, relationships and what a healthy relationship is. I am unable to call quits on a loved one despite how damaging the situation gets and often will self destruct rather than confront the individual. I have a fixation with sex and lately have discovered that I would be likely to sleep with anyone if it meant affection and this has terrified me.
I am reaching a make or break point in my life. I clearly depend on others for my own happiness and I want this to change, but with all other areas of my life already on an up, I'm stuck for what to do. I'm forever told 'just take care of yourself', 'love yourself' and/or 'remove bad people from your life' but I would argue I already do these things.
I'm aware I'm not bad looking. I'm aware I have a decent personality. I'm aware of the circle of men that surround me, interested. Yet I am so drawn to and fixated to an unhealthy relationship that even if I walk away from one, I only stumble right into another.
I'm really at a loss here. I'm not sure what advice I expect, perhaps just a murmur of 'I've been there, don't worry'.
I don't know how to end this.
TL;DR: | I'm a silly 21 year old girl who can't seem to choose what's good for her even when it's infront of her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[24M] with my Wife [22F] of two years, might be spending too much time with her in-laws.
POST: We live about an hour away from her parents. She REALLY loves spending time with her family. (My family is pretty chill about not getting together too often, plus my family is a little older with kids of their own).
So far this summer, we have spent almost every weekend and holiday with her family, including a full week in June. The 4th of July we were together. Just... we are ALWAYS together. She now wants to go 3 hours away to be with another relative + her family for the weekend.
We both work full-time. We have also been battling moving in to our new place we got in May. So free time is precious. And we have stuff to do this weekend.
I feel like we need some alone time. I feel like cultivating your own family is extremely important. And a lot of that requires living together without your family every spare moment you get.
**Two Questions:**
1. Am I too anal about how much time we spend with the in-laws?
2. How can I approach this in the best way possible?
P.S. She's SUPER sensitive.
TL;DR: | We've spent a lot of time with the in-laws. Almost every week this month and a whole week in June. Is that too much? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23 F] Aunt [56F] is giving me a hard time for not accepting payment for babysitting my neighbours kid [2M]
POST: I live in an apartment building and at the end of the hall there is a couple who has a 2 year old son. I baby sit their son about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. I started doing it because I was bored and he is a very sweet kid. I've developed a good relationship with the family and especially the son. He is pretty attached to me and I enjoy spending time with him.
I do not ask for money for looking after him. They gave me some money in the past sporadically but not often. I told them I don't need money because I enjoy it, I only do it on days I would just be sitting at home doing nothing, they are always super understanding if I can't do it, and they feed me. The husband is a chef and always has delicious food that I'm allowed to help myself to.
The issue is my aunt, sister and some of my friends think they are taking advantage of me and think I should be asking for payment because 'my time is valuable'. I'm not arguing my time isn't valuable but I don't feel the only compensation for my time has to be monetary.
I don't have a job but I am on EI while I look so I'm okay for money.
Is it that big of a deal that I don't ask for money?
TL;DR: | My aunt and some of my friends think I should be asking for payment for babysitting and I dont think it's necessary. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Got a job offer, seems sketchy. What do?
POST: I saw a post on Craigslist a few weeks ago for a job preparing high school students to transition to college. "Oooh!" I said. "I am totally qualified for this!" The description mentioned that you get a bonus for each student you get to sign up for the program, which I thought was a little sketchy, but I applied anyway.
Today I got an email from them saying that they've chosen me (and a few others) from among hundreds of applicants. To move forward, I need to sign a non-disclosure agreement and then have a skype interview (as far as I can tell, they're based in a city about 3 hours away). I looked through the non-disclosure agreement, and it basically says that they're going to be giving away company secrets during the course of the interview, and I have to agree not to tell anyone any of this for 5 years.
I'm worried that this company is charging parents a fortune and not really giving the students any good advice or training, and also that they they're using their employees to get new customers.
They have a website, but it's currently down, and the Google Cache just shows a pretty boring front page, with no mention of pricing or content. The email they're using is from gmail, which doesn't exactly inspire confidence. I can't find any information on them on the web, which could be good or bad.
If this is legit, it's exactly what I'd like to do this summer, but my spider-senses are tingling. Anyone have any thoughts?
TL;DR: | I've been offered a job with a company that seems a little sketchy, and they want me to sign a non-disclosure agreement before they'll even interview me. Should I do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 F] Friend Had Sex With a Guy in a Relationship, I Told The Girlfriend, What Now?
POST: My best friend and I work together. She got a thing for this guy at our work, he's 25 and has a girlfriend. They got in trouble at work for sexting because she's a minor. Later, they had sex.
I felt really bad for this girl and I sent her a message. The guy messaged me back and started threatening to choke me and a bunch of other stuff. My friend is freaking out and wants to know if I told the girlfriend. She's basically terrified and truthfully, I'm one of like three friends she has.
What do I do? Do I tell her it was me? My other friend offered to take the fall, seeing as how they were involved and don't really give a damn what either of them thinks.
TL;DR: | I sent the girlfriend a message that her boyfriend cheated and the stuff he did at work. He's mad and the girl he cheated with (my friend) is scared and freaked out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need some legal advice (already have a lawyer, just want second opinion, TX)
POST: I'll make this as concise as possible.
My grandma died, cut my aunt (who is an unfathomable bitch) out of the annuity and gave her house to the church. The will said the property went to my aunt, but the house was already in a Ladybird trust, had been for years.
Aunt sued the church to get some deal on the sale of the house.
The two people listed on the annuity were me and my cousin (also a waste of life), who was under 17 until last week. My aunt refused to sign anything, halting any legal progress until we were both sent a summons from the annuity company. Once her daughter turned 18, our lawyer informed us that all parties were happy with their share and we were just waiting paperwork. That was three weeks ago and her lawyer still hasn't even contacted that annuity company. We fear that they are stalling in order to use the proceeds from the sale of my grandmothers house to fund an assault on the entire sum of the annuity. Surely there is some way I can be proactive and not just sit around waiting to get screwed.
TL;DR: | Aunt/cousin are trying to screw me out of inheritance, they need time to do it. How can I take time away? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I let her know I'm taken? [21 & 22]
POST: Met a nice girl at a show a few days ago. She was nice and all but I've been with my girlfriend for a four years now and I wouldn't want to do anything behind her back. We've sent a few messages back and forth in the past few days and after mentioning that I'd have some free time today it looks like we might hang out for a tiny bit.
I don't think I've mentioned my girlfriend to her, though (it never came up). I'm not even totally sure she's interested in me (I might be a little slow to pick up these signs) but I don't want her to get the wrong idea. I think not letting her know could only make things worse if she *is* interested in me. At the same time, I don't want to sound presumptuous or anything and I don't want to come off as a tease.
I thought of adding her on Facebook, so she'd see that I'm in a relationship, but I'm still afraid that might make her think I was being disingenuous and/or that I was trying to cheat on my gf or something. I know guys like me often get annoyed when a girl "casually" mentions her unknown boyfriend but now I'm on the other side of things.
Any advice on how to keep this person as just a friend?
TL;DR: | I have a girlfriend. Don't want this other girl to get the wrong idea but don't want to come across as presumptuous. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Me (M26) feeling awkward in calling a woman for a first date for the first time.
POST: Hi, I'll try to make this story not too long, since it only happened just hours ago.
Today, I walked through the city and noticed an attractive woman sitting in a table with her friend. I just casually passed by but then later thought to myself "JUST DO IT" and then just returned to her to say this:
"Hi! Excuse me for interrupting you both but I couldn't resist thinking how attractive you are. Is it okay for me to ask for your number?"
She thanked me and put her number on my smartphone.
Later I wanted to check her number to see if the number was real or not, however after double checking through different sites, the number doesn't exist. As this was my first time, I felt the agony of it.
Now here's the awkward part.
I knew that if I were to call to this number I would do it hours later but seeing the number not existing, I hesitated a bit. Now, hours later I thought to myself "f*ck it!" and called the number just to confirm my disbelief.
Lo and behold, she answered. The problem? She was at a dinner and couldn't talk with me. I tried to tell her if I could talk to her tomorrow for a first date but she sounded hesitant and said she couldn't talk right now. We said goodbye and hung up, and I feel really stupid.
Since this is a first to me (im really bad at social cues, haven't had a first official date in my life), im really nervous. Worst case scenario, she may have misheard me thinking that I wanted to **have** a first date tomorrow, instead of **planning** about it.
I know I may be overthinking, but I don't want to make first impression mistakes.
TL;DR: | Asked a woman on the street for her number. The number doesnt exist. Called her on a whim and she answered but was busy on a dinner. Awkwardness ensues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (23M) girlfriend (22F) embarrassed she watches porn, how do I let her know I am okay with this?
POST: So the story starts out my girlfriend and I were talking about places to go for dinner last night and since my phone was in the other room I picked her up and was going to look up restaurants we could go to. When I opened up the browser it opened up to pornhub. Now at first we were both joking about it and I said sone like "oh what're you watching?" And she's was laughing and we kind of played keep away for a bit. Then she got upset. I feel like it's my fault that I took it a little too far. Everything is okay between us, but I just want to figure out how to let her know I am okay with it. There are some things that worry me though. She has mentioned that she doesn't have a super high sex drive which is fine. Then when I find out she's watching porn it makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. I just want to be able to let her know I am okay with it and that it's actually kind of a turn on. I don't know how I should handle this and how to go about talking to her about without sparking another fight. Especially since the videos she looked up were for something I have wanted to try but she has never been all that adventurous in bed. Any advice on what I can do?
TL;DR: | girlfriend is embarrassed to watch porn and I want to let her know I am okay with it and possibly bring it into the bedroom |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I get past the almost-reality that most first relationships don't work out?
POST: I'm young, a Senior in high school, and I've been in my first relationship for almost 4 months. Everything is fantastic so far, but I won't go on about it because I would just end up rambling about how great my girlfriend is.
I only have one concern with the relationship, and that is the fact that I know most first relationships inevitably don't work out in the long run. I realize that this is all because, as youngsters, we are both still growing and aren't entirely sure what we want in a partner. Even with my first relationship, I'm taking it very seriously and making a true effort to build something that will last, because my immature-teenage-boy feelings are very strong and I feel like that is what my girlfriend deserves from me.
I consider myself a rational person and so I avoid subscribing to the silly teenage illusion that this relationship is without-a-doubt going to last very far into my adult life. I realize that it could, and at this point I hope that it does, but I'm not so headstrong as to be 100% sure that it will.
I accept the fact that our relationship may not last, but that causes me concerns because I really hope it does. I realize that this shouldn't be a huge concern for me and that I'm overthinking and that I should just take things as they come, and I wish I could just enjoy myself and my relationship in the present while not worrying about whether something is going to inevitably go wrong, but it's a constant thought that sits in my brain. I can't relax about it. I think, "It's so rare that people's first relationships work out in the long run, there's no way I could be that lucky."
Anything that you older, more experienced redditors could say that would help me to understand these feelings, or better, to convince me to not worry about a concern that I know deep down is so ridiculously trivial and unwarranted, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | I can't stop thinking about that fact that most first relationships don't work out, even though I know it shouldn't be a concern. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20M) always feel the need for a partner, need help...
POST: Background: since I was a little kid, I haven't been good with friends. In high school i didn't have any friends and I was the socially awkward loner. I hated being alone and I was rather depressed. I then started dating a girl for 2 years that kinda pushed her way into my life and forced me to be social, which i am super grateful for.
Fast forward to a year and a half ago, she cheated on me, we broke up and that was it, I wanted to be single when i went to university anyway. Problem is, when i went to my new school in a new city, all i wanted to do all first year (last year) was get back in a relationship. Time and time again, I got screwed over by girls and i just felt really alone. I have 3 of the best friends you could ask for but I constantly feel the need to have the attention of the opposite sex. Having my guy friends doesnt seem like enough.
In the last couple days, me and a girl who had been "seeing eachother" for 2 months now told me she didnt want a relationship anymore and now im lost at what to do. when we were together, I'd pick fights about the dumbest things cause i wanted her attention and for her to chase me and try to make me feel better. I did this constantly without even seeing it and thats why things ended.
For some reason, I miss her but I think its more i miss having someone in general. Ive heard the whole thing about girls craving guys attention if they had a rough homelife, it seems like im the same but with having a girls attention. Does anyone have any advice for me? I just want to feel content with being single, I dont want my happiness to be dependent on having a gf anymore. Ive thought about going to a therapist but I'm too afrid to ask my parents or seek it out by myself. Anyone have any advice cause I'm trying to improve myself for the better.
TL;DR: | Was a loner as a child, more social now but i feel I need a relationship and I'm always upset when im single because I want a girls attention, need advice |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What should I do to save my relationship??
POST: So my gf tried to break up with me today. We've been going out for three years, both in our early twenties. We've been great together, we understand each other and I love her to bits. However, we've argueing a LOT for the last year for silly things and today she says she can't take it anymore. After talking to her for a bit, I finally convinced her to give the relationship another try. She was in tears when she said I still love you which made me want to become a better boyfriend for her more than ever. We have a coming date this friday, we agreed to go for coffee but I feel like I want to make the date more special. I also don't want to go overboard because she just changed her mind about breaking up with me today so I need to respect her space. What should I do?
more info: when i asked her the reason she wanted to end it, she said lots of small things, which yeah.. doesn't sound good. She's right though, I didn't treat her really nicely, now I come to think of it.
TL;DR: | gf tried to break up with me, convinced her to give another try, coming date to friday, what should I do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [fluff] We did it!
POST: This morning, my 11 month old pup passed his 4th obedience course with his training school. This means we met our goal of getting their Advanced Obedience certificate before I move for school, and just on time too...I pack the moving truck this afternoon!
So proud of him. 8 months ago, he was walking in there as a tiny little baby to do puppy kindergarden, and now he's doing all his obedience tasks off-leash and receiving lots of compliments from our trainer.
She encouraged us to look for a new training school where we're moving, and to get into doggy sports like flyball, agility, and herding. So that will be our next challenge!
TL;DR: | I'm a proud dog owner today, passed his Advanced Obedience under a year old. End soppy love-fest for my pup. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] girlfriend [18F] slept with (no sex) another guy and I might break up with her.
POST: I've been dating this girl for about 5 months (exclusively) and we've been long distance for the past few weeks on account of her job. She recently told me that she got really drunk while hanging out with friends and shared a bed with another guy (there were beds to spare). He apparently also bit her on the shoulder (twice) which suggests they either made out or cuddled in bed and he decided that would be funny or something.
Given the situation, what I know about her, and what she told me, I don't think she did anything sexual with the other guy, but I do still believe it was a breach of what we considered an exclusive relationship (she agrees she screwed up).
Our relationship isn't an extremely serious one (ie. I expected it to last the month, but not until winter break), so I've been wondering if I should break it off with her sooner than later to reduce the pain of a breakup even before this incident.
At this point, I probably will break up with her. However, I'd like advice for how to do it. This has been a really enjoyable relationship, and i think she's an awesome person, so I don't want her to think she's a terrible person when I do break up with her. Fortunately, I do think she's in a good place in her life, so this may not hit too hard. Any advice on how to break up with her while minimizing how much it hurts her?
TL;DR: | gf slept with other dude (no sex) and I've been thinking about breaking up with her anyway. Want advice on how to minimize the harm, but still break up |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/M] I dont feel like its working out with my gf of 3yrs [24/F]
POST: Alright, so first i'll give so info to paint a fuller picture.
<!--Me [23/M] and my gf [24/F] are together for ~3yrs. Met in university, moved in together after a year.
All is fine, no trust issues or anything, but over the last year or so i started feeling like shes not the person i want to raise my kids with (just to clarify we dont have kids yet and arent planning).
She isn't a bad person, she's caring, tidy, etc.
The problem is that I dont feel that we have anything in common anymore, whatever i like, she hates and same for me, whatever she considers fun, I see as "not too exciting", so we end up either doing something together and feeling uncomfortable, or not spending time together.
Also, her actions drive me nuts, shes not the brightest so discussing anything or talking about something most of the time leads to me facepalming alot (i'd like to believe thats just me being a narcisistic asshole, but in a group of people she gets the same reaction, everyone facepalming)-->
So from this i raise three questions:
1. Is this just a phase i'm going through? (been tanking through it for the last year)
2. Should i break up with her?
3. How so i break up causing the least ammount of pain? <!--Looking for advice from choleric females here --> (should i distance myself from her or just outright tell her its not working?)
TL;DR: | I feel like its not working between us anymore, should i break up (and how), or is this just a phase? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I push the issue, even though I don't have a good reason?
POST: My boyfriend (25) and I (23) have been dating for two years. Our relationship is absolutely amazing for the most part, but we've recently reached a problem that I'm not sure how to handle.
A friend of mind from college (also 23) used to hang out with us a lot. I was never comfortable with it, and I tried to keep them aware of my boundaries. It wasn't jealousy; he's got plenty of girls-who-are-friends that I'm totally fine with. This particular girl just happened to bother me.
Over the past few months, this girl and I have grown apart. Her and my boyfriend, on the other hand, have not. They spend time together when I'm not around, which makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Thinking about it makes me incredibly anxious.
When I mentioned that I didn't like them hanging out, he pointed out that she has a personality type that is completely different from mine, and a lot more like his. Although ours are perfectly complementary for a relationship, sometimes he needs someone who understands him from a different perspective.
I don't want to push the issue and deprive him of that, mostly because I have no idea why the thought of them spending time together bothers me so much. It's not my animosity with her; I was uncomfortable with them before that existed. It's not jealousy; he spends plenty of time alone with other woman friends, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. It isn't that she used to be my friend, because we have another mutual friend, and it doesn't bother me when they hang out.
I trust my boyfriend completely, and I'm not afraid that he'll cheat. I'm just viscerally, physically uncomfortable.
Do I have the right to ask him not to spend time with her, even though I don't have a reason behind it?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend spends time with a former friend of mine when I'm not around. I don't know why that bothers me. Is it still alright to ask him to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/f] having some problems with my [19/m] boyfriend of a year.
POST: Hello Reddit!
So, I've been with this guy, let's call him G for over a year now. We met the first night of college and have been just about inseparable since. We did move a little quickly when we first got together, but I really love him and we usually get along great.
The problem, which has started pretty recently, is that I've been getting bored with him. G is very introverted and has slight social anxiety, so he doesn't often like to go out either to parties or bars/clubs. But he also doesn't like to hang out with his housemates in the living room, he always sits in his room on the computer. I've always been more social than him, but was willing to compromise on when we would stay in and when we could hang out with everyone else.
Lately, though, G never wants to see what anyone else is doing and just wants to stay in his room. I've gone out without him, and it never ends well (either with me drunkenly flirting with someone else because I'm a flirty drunk or someone else drunkenly hitting on me). He, understandably, gets upset when this happens and we get into the same fight every time about him not wanting me to go out anymore.
And on top of this, because I go out with people other than G, I've been crushing on someone else. This other person, C, is much more outgoing and fun to be around in groups of people and I like him, but I'm still in love with G.
My question is: what the hell do I do? We've tried to compromise, but he is miserable when we go out and I get bored of being home very quickly. We promise that we will work on it, but within a month, the same issues flare up again. We're both at the ends of our respective ropes, but we still love each other and want to make the other one happy. If anyone has any advice, we'd both really appreciate it.
TL;DR: | Long-term boyfriend and I can't seem to find a balance in social lives and my mind is beginning to wander as a result. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [M/17] and my girlfriend [F/16] have had more issues than ever since she left for vacation. What to do?
POST: We've been together for 7 months as of tomorrow. We love each other like crazy and have never really been in a real fight.
8 days ago she left for Florida for a 2 week vacation. For whatever reason we've been mad at each other over the stupidest shit ever since she left. We've been in a few very minor arguments about very dumb things, but before that we had been in like 3 total. Now we're at like 6 or 7.
For instance, just a few hours ago she said she was going to go swimming. In the night, pitch black, in the ocean. When the sharks are out. Me being me, very protective I got kind of worried and upset and told her it was a bad idea etc.. Then she said she would be fine and I kept trying to tell her it was dumb idea. She kept insisting she would be fine, so I got a bit upset and decided I would go eat dinner and not talk to her while she does her thing. Then she told me she wouldn't because I was mad about it and she didn't want to make me mad, but then I felt like a dick for being controlling and whatnot. I don't know. I hate petty shit like this.
Ughh I just want to hug and kiss her. I miss her way too much.
Anyway... Is this behavior normal for couples? How do I fix this stuff?
TL;DR: | girlfriend is away on vacation, we've never really argued until she went away. Since she's left we've been in a bunch of minor arguments over petty things. Is this normal? How do I fix it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I don't often ask for help, but im asking for it now
POST: I mainly did this just to get it all off my chest and straighten my head but any help would be nice.
I'll lay this out as simple as i can
I like girl
Me and girl go out
Girl ends it
Girl goes out with someone else
I still like girl
Girl leaves other guy and we get talking again
Girl and i wanna try again. But...
Other guy can't handle us even talking let alone going out
He's now creeping the girl out by standing outside her house for hours on end every night, leaving cryptic messages and just being freaky
TL;DR: | me and an ex wanna try again but her last boyfriend is being creepy. How can we help him move on and stop being freaky? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of four months, she won't tell me when she doesn't want to have sex.
POST: We both have a high sex drive and are in the honeymoon phase, so we have sex basically every night. I enjoy this, but it becomes a problem because it is assumed that we will have sex without saying anything.
However, maybe once a week or so, my girlfriend just "doesn't feel good." These are the days we do not have sex. I'm totally okay with taking a day off, but I think she feels like she can't ask for that. So instead, I listen to complaining about headaches, stomach aches, feeling like vomiting, and just "feeling gross" for an entire day so that she can avoid it. Then she's fine the next day.
Now, I don't actually have any proof, of course, that this is why she tells me she feels sick, so I can't really bring it up. I know she'll deny it and get defensive if I say something like "I'm okay with not having sex, you know" as a response to her complaints. I've also tried telling her that on days where she isn't complaining, and she always says something like "I know, I'll tell you of I don't want to." I think she just has a major problem with actually doing that.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend "feels sick" when she doesn't want to have sex. I am insulted and annoyed by this, don't know how to tell her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Always get the cone of shame
POST: So I'm going to vent and hopefully someone can learn from our mistakes.
My wife and I have a male cocker spaniel and female rottweiler. Both are around 4 and a half months old. We brought them to the vet to have them fixed last Thursday. Since the dogs will be cut open I'm fully expecting both of them to be wearing cones when I come home. However, they come back from the vet without cones.
I ask my wife about it and she said the vet claimed they didn't need them. She was skeptical too but after asking multiple people working at the vet's office they all said the same thing. They don't need the cone, give them their pain meds each morning and keep an eye on them.
Well last night I'm taking the female rottweiler out to use the bathroom and have some time out of her crate; and I find some blood in her crate. I flip her over and she has a nice welt by the surgery area and is starting to lick it a lot. We take her over to the emergency vet clinic to get a cone to put on her. Of course the wound is infected so they have to drain the fluid and stitch her back up. Also the once a day pain meds the vet gave us were effective for 12 hours. So while she was fine during the day and we never saw her lick her wounds, the pain meds probably wore off overnight and she was licking it while we were sleeping.
So $450 later we have a dog that has to be crated and wear a cone for 2 more weeks. Some antibiotics to clean up the infection. Plus the correct amount of pain meds this time. All of which could have been avoided.
TL;DR: | Vet techs said we didn't need a cone. Vet techs didn't know wtf they were talking about; causing a lot of time, grief, and money. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I just got rear ended by someone who has no insurance?
POST: This happened about an hour ago and I took pictures of my rear bumper, and of his drivers license and license plate. I have his phone number as well.
Thankfully, there is only a small chip in the paint on the center of my bumper. I know it's not that bad, but this is just a really bad time to have to pay for it myself with schooling and everything. I think I should definitely be reimbursed or covered no matter how small the cost turns out to be.
He said he didn't have any insurance. I asked if he had cash and he says nothing on him but he gets paid tomorrow and could pay me then. I don't know how true that is, but I haven't been in a situation like this before.
What's the best way to handle this and repair the damage to my car? Should I get an estimate of the repairs first and meet him somewhere?
If in not mistaken, the penalty for not having car insurance/liability in Washington state is a lot heftier than some paint and clear coat repairs.
What are my options if he doesn't return my calls and goes rogue on me?
TL;DR: | guy hits me, leaves miniscule damage, has no insurance, how do I get money from him to cover the cost of repairs?*** |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My brother [28] is in an toxic relationship. How can I help him?
POST: The relationship has lasted over 10 years so far and it's his first and the only woman he ever had. I'm 21. Let's call her Ann"
I realized that he actually may be in a toxic relationship. He pretty much ended all ties with me my sister and parents 2 years ago. As far as I remember he slowly becomed hostile towards us without a reason.
Recently I've tried to rebuild ties with him meeting him several times over the course of few months in his place. It seems that every time I visit Ann is so rude towards him, like literally always. Telling him what to do and that he's useless and whatnot. I tried to point this out to her once but she just got furious and he told me to leave... He runs his own small company which funny enough owns his wife, he works all the time and doesn't have many friends.
Ann hates his family for god knows why. Especially his mom. I think she convinced him that they (we) don't care about him and stuff which is obviously not true. My parents tried to contact him many times but he always was so rude to them calling them slurs they gave up...
I called him a few days ago if maybe he would like to go out for a beer, because that's what brothers do, right? But he just told me "If she lets me I'll go" ... And I've never seen him genuinely smile since 2 years.
I kinda think that I'm slowly loosing my brother and therefore would like to ask you: what can I do to stop this madness? Obviously I can't tell him that she is manipulative and toxic because that will only strengthen his belief that we are "the evil ones" trying to lure him away from his family....
e: they have one 3 yo girl, if that helps.
Please help.
TL;DR: | My brother is in a toxic marriage with older woman [32]. It's his only girlfriend he ever had. How do I help him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: My boyfriend's son is a picky eater.....
POST: My boyfriend's 11 year old son is a diabetic who doesn't seem to like anything that doesn't come out of a package with bright colors on it.
No onions, no broccoli, no carrots, no green beans, no bell peppers, and you'd better pray to every god you can think of throughout history that it's not spicy. Oh lawd jesus, there's a fire in his mouth and he can't handle it.
Asian food? nope.
Mexican food? Nope.
Italian food? Only if it's the plainest of marinaras and the cheesiest of pizzas. No extras.
I made acorn squash with turkey stuffing and the little shit spat it out on his plate and yelled how disgusting it was, despite every guest loving it and asking if there was more.
I have to make all of my food separate if I want anything with flavor. Twice the cooking for three meals a day. If I add spices, he complains that it's spiced. If I don't add spices, he complains that it's gross, or at *best* "it's okay." Never once a "thank you for breakfast/lunch/dinner" without prompting from myself or his father.
He's diabetic, so it's not like i can just not feed the little bastard, otherwise he would have starved by now.
I decided last week that I would just grind up onions and put them in everything from now on. It's ritualistic. I take them out, grind them up, and discard of the remains before he can catch me in the act, and he never finds any evidence that I have done so.
Take that, you little shit.
TL;DR: | BF's son won't eat anything not from the freezer section without being a rude little shit. Grind up onions and put it in all the little turdstain's food for revenge. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [24] didn't come home from the bar last night - am I justified in being angry, and how the hell do I handle this when he (finally) shows up.
POST: I'm 23 and have been with my boyfriend (24) for 2 1/2 years, and living together for over a year. He went out last night with one of our close mutual friends, and didn't come home. And I'm pissed.
They went to a bar and he was texting me most of the night, saying 'I love you' and that he was coming home soon. At about 2.30am I texted him asking when he was planning on coming home - and I got a garbled text saying he was at our friends house playing FIFA, and he would be home soon. I was having a lot of trouble sleeping (this is completely out of character), so at 4am I gave him a call - no answer. I tried calling again, and it went straight to voicemail (implying that he turned his phone off).
We have a very solid relationship and I have never had any suspicions of cheating, this whole thing is entirely out of character. I managed to fall asleep, but now it's after 9:30am and still no word from him. I'm starting to get really angry. I'm assuming that he passed out at our friends place, but that doesn't explain why his phone turned off after I called him. It also would have taken under a minute to text me saying he was staying out and not to worry (something he usually does when he's going to be late).
So I'm feeling now that at best, he's being an inconsiderate asshat, at worst he's with another girl or even dead in an alley somewhere (hey, I watched Criminal Minds before bed last night). I'm sleep-deprived and cranky, and can't work out if the fact that I'm angry and hurt is justified and could use an outside perspective.
So, r/relationships, do you think I'm being a crazy girlfriend, or are my feelings justified given the situation? Also, what is the best way to address this when he comes home?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend didn't come home last night - am I being a crazy person to be hurt/upset/worried/angry? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: What to do with low balance Roth IRA?
POST: Over two years ago I met with a financial advisor regarding my retirement plan. At the time I worked for a small local business that did not offer any benefits or perks but paid OK so I wanted to get started on my retirement fund.
I ended up signing up for an Ivy Funds Roth IRA account and putting only the minimum in each month ($25) as I was hoping to switch jobs and increase my income in the near future.
Well, ended up moving to the UK instead. I've now lived in the UK for 1.5 years and I've no intention of going back to the US in the near future.
Scenario: I've just under $8k in student loan debt from my US days that I'd like to help pay off. I've only $640 in my Roth IRA account.
What would you do in this scenario? Keep it and continue paying in to it or take it out and put it towards paying off the student loans? I'm about 80% sure that I'd like to continue living in the UK/Europe but I know that I may change my mind.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | $640 in Roth IRA. $8K in student debt. Want to stay in UK. Keep paying in to IRA? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/m] my girlfriend (23/f) and I went a bit too far, now it's really killing me.
POST: We've been together for a month after a long, thoroughly enjoyable "courting" period. A few days into the relationship, we had an evening together and we went just a bit too far, physically. We were comfortable at the time, but the next morning I felt sort of uncomfortable. We talked about it, got over it, and the rest of the month went smoothly.
Last Sunday, it happened again. Again, we were communicating really well while we were being physical. It wasn't until the next day that I felt uncomfortable, so again I talked to her about it, but this time neither of us is getting over it.
She is really worried about what I must think of her (this is her first relationship), and is worried that I think she is a slut. Intellectually, I know she isn't, but now I'm worried that that thought is seeping into my subconscious. I've been thoroughly sad since Wednesday, unable to concentrate on much. We've talked and spent a little time together, but something just plain feels "off," and it's making us both miserable.
Reddit, I absolutely adore her, but I'm so scared of everything that's going on right now. I don't want her to think that I'm mentally unstable, but I visited a therapist for the first time just to make sure I wasn't spiraling into a depression. I told her this just to be honest, and now I'm worried about how it's making her feel. Last night, we talked it all over, and we both feel miserable but can't entirely figure out why.
We are apart for a week due to Fall Break. I'm hoping to get myself pulled together, and be able to get the relationship back on the tracks once we're back together. She has written me a letter saying that she definitely still wants to be in a relationship and that she thinks the world of me. I think the world of her, too, but right now something just feels hopelessly broken. Has anyone ever been here before?
TL;DR: | new girlfriend and I got too physical (mutually), and now there is something really wrong, even though we both still adore each other and want to be in a relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26F/28M] Boyfriend impulsively purchases gift, thinks I'm ungrateful
POST: I'm a 26F dating a 28M for 2 years. We live together and we're generally happy together.
I ride a slick Italian bike to/from work and everywhere else. I finally wore a hole into my $90 vintage seat. Boyfriend secretly purchases a replacement on eBay, but chooses the wrong color and material (it's brown and suede instead of black leather).
Well, I love my bike and the saddle he bought is not what I wanted. And it's suede, which will wear holes into my pants faster. He gets upset with me, saying "I knew this would happen!" and calls me ungrateful.
He has it in his head that if he tries to do something nice for me, I won't like it. Unfortunately, this is somewhat true. He took me to a sausage shop for lunch on my birthday. Neither of us like sausage. I have many other examples.
I don't know how to communicate to someone that he doesn't think things through well enough without me coming off as a jerk. He doesn't seem to learn from past disappointment and instead feels that I should simply appreciate anything he does for me.
We're beyond the point where letting him down easy is an option. The second I said, "Honey, I love you so much for doing this, but.." he got upset and threw his hands in the air.
What should I do? He really means well but damnit, I feel like he just doesn't think and it makes me seem like an ass.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend does nice things for me that I don't want. Don't know how to get boyfriend to do things that I do want. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your scariest situation/encounter involving bugs, or any animal for that matter?
POST: Mine would have to be what happened a couple of years ago.
Whenever I woke up I saw a tiny dead spider in my bed, a little disgusting but nothing too bad
I then went in my closet to get my clothes and I saw a spider and a web in the top right corner, I'm a little worried at this point. I suddenly need to use the bathroom, so I walk in to see a spider about half the size of a volley ball on the toilet seat. I am really freaked out at this point, especially since all these spiders have been brown (which is bad.) I take a shower, get my clothes on and notice another, you guessed it; spider, around the size of a golf ball on my wall. I take a shoe and try to kill it and miss. It crawls behind my dresser so I go down to tell my mom. She tells me it is OK and the exterminator is coming in about a week
While I am eating breakfast, one climbs on my arm, a brown recluse; I swat it off and start screaming like a little girl. For that week of the exterminator, I had no more encounters but I was scared shitless
TL;DR: | When I was younger, I saw a lot of spiders in my house, a brown recluse crawled on me, it took a week for the exterminator to come and I was scared out of my mind |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (16/M) want to have sex with friend's sister (16/F). What should I do?
POST: So I (16/M) go to a boarding high school (yes, by choice) and I just finished my sophomore year. For the past 2 months of school I started hooking up with a freshman girl (16/F). This girl just happened to my good friend's (for a year and a half) sister. This good friend also happened to live right across the hall from me.
I told him about it the second time we hooked up and at first he hated me. He wouldn't talk to me or even look at for at least to weeks. This was difficult because we have many mutual friends, so he became antisocial for a while just to stay away from me. Eventually I forced him to talk to me and he's cool about it now for the most part, but I thinks that's because he thinks that "she is innocent and won't go to far with me because I'm black and she's white." Yes, that is basically what he said.
Little does he know, his little sister is a freak. She snapchats me nudes everyday, I've fingered her, she's given me handjobs, and blowjobs, and now she said she wants to have sex when we go back to school. We are both virgins and won't see each other over summer because she lives in Poland and I'm here in the US. I think I'm ready and she claims to be ready, but I don't think her brother is. If he were to find out we fucked, I have no idea how he will react. I'm thinking we just shouldn't tell anybody what we do to keep him sane.
TL;DR: | I want to fuck my good friend's sister / my girlfriend, but I know he will flip the fuck out. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My first real relationship (19/M)
POST: I have been dating my SO for about 14 months now staring last November during our freshman year of college. We have been friends since late sophomore year of highschool so while 14 months isn't crazy long it honestly feels like we have been dating for much longer. Lately she has been very argumentative getting mad at me easily and we have almost broken up a few times, in fact a few nights ago she texted me relatively out of the blue saying we should rethink our relationship so I thought she was ending it. I couldn't talk to her right then and there because I was too inebriated with my friends so the next day I prepared to end it. However instead of her saying we should break up like I had prepared for she begged me to stay with her. She wrote me a note and apologized about a bunch of shit and I just could not end it because I'm scared it will destroy her now. This is the third time we have almost broken up in the past two months. I have only dated 4 other girls before her for a total of like 2 and a half months so Idk what to do. Is it healthy for me to give it another chance like is this a normal phase for healthy couples to go through or should I just stop now. We still have fun times and I would do anything to keep her as a friend though I know that if I end it she might not ever want to talk to me again. Just some extra details, I'm very involved with my fraternity on campus so there is alot of pressure for me to end it and I like to partake in substances which my gf does not approve of, I am also kind of awkward so I am worried I won't be able to find a girl equally as awkward and quirky as I am.
TL;DR: | My relationship is going through a bad rough patch where we have almost broken up multiple times, is this a normal thing that relationships survive or am I just wasting my time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] considering ultimatum, how have they worked out for you?
POST: So, I am still struggling with the same issue I posted about a week ago (tried to hyperlink it, but was told this was violating rules...if you want to read the full post just click my name. It's titled "Me [24 F] with my BF [24 M], having trouble dealing with his relationship with EX").
My [24f] boyfriend [24m] of 5 months, has a close relationship with his ex [24f] that bothers me after seeing some "intimate" texts between the two. Texts about missing each other and passion and other things you SHOULD NOT be sharing with an ex while you're in a relationship. He has been defending that they were perceived incorrectly and that he only wants to be with me, and has no interest in being with her outside of friendship.
We have had many conversations since. He has cut down contact with her to about once a day, sometimes skipping days. She usually messages him some unimportant stuff about her life (related to her cats, mutual acquaintances, memes, video games). He replies to her message, and then their conversation ends there.
This is not enough and I wish he would just see how much their contact is hurting our relationship, and stop. It makes me question whether or not I should stay. I have told him this, and he seemed very upset. He told me if i was going to make him choose between her and me, he would choose me. I do not want to MAKE him do anything. I just wish he would choose to stop his contact with her voluntarily.
I have considered an ultimatum. End contact with her, or I'm done, because I do not feel respected and valued if he continues a relationship with her platonic or not. I feel like he is choosing his/her feelings over mine. If the situation were reversed, it would suck, but I would cut contact. It's not worth losing someone who I really like being with.
Please share your stories with ultimatums. Have you had a boyfriend/girlfriend issue one to you? What did you do?
Did you make an ultimatum to your SO? Did it work?
___________________________________________
TL;DR: | Considering making an ultimatum to bf over his contact with ex. How have ultimatums worked for you in the past? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 F] with my Mum [63 F], I want to move out but I'm scared that she won't let me
POST: Basically, I'm sick of living under my mother's rule. I love my house and the ease of living at home but she's narcissistic and I'm at my wit's end.
My plan is that I'll move out in the next 8 months, as soon as I save enough money for a bond. I know I can afford rent if I work enough shifts, and I won't have a problem finding a place to live.
My problem is that I don't think Mum will let me. She's very passive aggressive and constantly berates me for not being independent enough, but if I told her my plans to move out she'd cry about how I'm abandoning her.
How do I move out without her holding me back? She bought (offered) to buy almost all of the furniture in my room and I'm worried that she won't let me take any of it. How do I explain to her that I'm not abandoning her or cutting her out of my life?
TL;DR: | I'm worried that my narcissistic mum won't let me/will make it very difficult for me to move out. How do I deal with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Nutrition for Increased Run Distance
POST: Hello, this is my first post in r/running. I've read the FAQ, and I'm wondering if anyone can help me out with my running workouts. I am male, 5'11", 195 lbs (about 5-10 lbs of "extra lovin", rest is muscle) I run between 2-3 times a week, for 3-4 miles per workout. Over the past month, my pace has improved from about 9 to 8 minutes per mile. I am currently dieting, with my daily caloric intake at around 2000 calories. I live a sedentary lifestyle as a computer scientist. I run on a treadmill because of the lower impact surface than the roads outside (I've gotten shin splints many times before, and have a few lingering minor injuries from playing football in high school)
I haven't been able to run more than 4 miles because I run out of energy during my workout. Last night, I ran 3 miles in 23 mins 45 seconds. If I believe the treadmill, I am burning about 450 calories so that comes out to 18.9 calories per minute. My body doesn't seem to be able to maintain this calorie burn for an extended period. With my diet, I also don't believe that my body has this much extra energy in general for my body to burn. When I ran 4 miles (about 600 calories), I got back to my apartment and almost passed out in the shower.
Does this sound about right? How can I improve my performance without increasing my calorie intake (if that's even possible)? Would anyone recommend specific diets or calorie intake plans to improve my runs? Thank you guys for listening!
TL;DR: | 24 y/o male, 195 lbs, 5'11", running 3-4 miles 2-3 times per week, how should I eat to improve my performance on 2000 calories per day? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: There's something better out there...
POST: Hi everybody, I'm feeling really good right now, and gosh darn it, I want to share it. So many people around here are feeling down (quite reasonably), and I hope this can help give people hope!
So I broke off a 4+ year relationship with a girl who never treated me well enough a few weeks ago. It was VERY hard for me to do, because of how much I'd invested in making things work. I ultimately accepted that things were never going to get better, and that's when I ended it.
So a few days ago I asked out this girl I've TOTALLY been crushing on for the last year, and it went, in a word, swimmingly. I spent so long sticking with something that wasn't good enough because I was afraid there was nothing better. I felt better tonight than I have in years, and we didn't even cross the touch barrier. Even if this goes nowhere or fizzles out, I'm super glad to have seen that I don't need to settle for being unhappy.
Don't tolerate someone who doesn't make you happy. I know first hand how tempting it can be to stick in such a situation. But trust me, you deserve something better. When you're in a bad relationship, it's hard to remember what someone truly being nice to you is like. I got a *glimpse* of that tonight, and I hope you all get a chance to do the same.
TL;DR: | Ended a bad relationship. Quickly discovered what being treated well feels like. It's awesome. Please don't settle for less. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/F] feel like I've had sex/been intimate with too many people and now I feel like no one will want me if they know.
POST: All I want to do is to be able to take it back and start again. I'm a Christian so most of my unmarried friends are virgins and waiting for a serious relationship at the very least. People aren't judgemental at all but I feel like I'm not meeting the standard everyone else has maintained, and I can't do anything about it. It's destroying my self esteem, I feel like I'm worthless and no one will want me like this. Not all my experiences were consensual but plenty of them were, including when I lost my virginity, so it's not like I didn't have a choice about the situation I'm in. I haven't had sex for over a year - sometimes I want to keep it this way and wait for someone who is 'worth it' but at other times I think I'm so used that there's no point, and sex is enjoyable enough so I might as well just go out and get some. If I hadn't put on weight and felt so ugly right now, I would have done the latter a while ago. We are offered mentoring at my church but I feel like compared to everyone else I'm so screwed I couldn't bear to tell anyone about it.
TL;DR: | I guess I don't know how to get over the regret and get to a place where I have some actual feeling of self-worth rather than just false confidence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21- F) don't think my boyfriend (22 - M) of four years is as invested in our relationship as I am.
POST: My boyfriend (like most guys) isn't very vocal about his emotions towards me. He says he doesn't feel the need to say his love for me, rather he does it through action. I feel as though I'm always the one initiating romantic talks, or planning the anniversaries and holidays. Recently he went away on a trip, and I tried to give him space because I knew he'd be busy (it was for business). I didn't get any "I miss you" or anything. I'm not really sure what to do. I'm feeling as though I'm more emotionally invested in this relationship and I'm worried I'm going to get hurt. I try bringing up the future but it always ends up in an argument. I might be leaving out some details, so feel free to ask any questions that might help shed light on the situation.
TL;DR: | boyfriend doesn't put in effort into relationship, feels like I'm bothering him, not sure if it will ever change, how should I bring this up and what are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/f], my bf [26/m] of two years dropped a bombshell "I've never really loved you." Need suggestions, advice, opinions, anything.
POST: Yay throwaway accounts.
Let's see, where to start. He and I met online while he was doing courses (military) we hit it off right away. For the past two years things have been going quite well. every single weekend (with the exception of one when he had to work) he came to see me. I lived a two hour drive away from him at that point.
Fast forward, a couple months ago he finally received his posting, so we bought a house, then a dog and now I'm told that he's never truly loved me. He's only strung me along because it 'made me and his parents happy'. Coincidentally however his online (they've never physically met irl) ex-gf, originally from the states, but has since moved to the Netherlands where she and her daughter now leech off some poor shmuck. Has come back into my bf's life electronically. Now he's glued to the computer (I used to be fine with it, we'd waste hours in everything from minecraft to tera online) only to play with her for hours on end all the while I'm sitting three feet away from him at my comp.
What the hell do I bloody well do? I'm completely lost, blindsided by this garbage... I'm just... yeah.
TL;DR: | My bf of two years says he's never loved me, we just bought a house, a dog and he's now devoting all his time to his trollop ex gf whom he's never physically met. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [16F] girlfriend can't get over my [17M] ex girlfriends. HELP.
POST: I know I'm young but it still applies to many relationships. (We have been dating for 4 months now. Healthy relationship, I might add)
First thing. Last Sunday, I had a sit-down talk with my girlfriend with open communication and one of the subject was ex-boy/girlfriends of ours. The subject didn't effect me at all. I took into consideration what the boys had done wrong and I haven't been jealous because I know she's mine. SHOULD I HAVE HAD THAT TALK ABOUT EXES?
Second thing. Ever since Sunday, she's seemed pretty mad about everything. I've been the same person I ever have been and I've noticed negative differences in her personality. I talked to her about that last night and she said she just sees my exes every day and gets instantly pissed off. I asked her why she takes her anger out on me and she blames me for dating them. I explained to her they were MISTAKES. We were fine after that conversation. Then today rolls around. She's mad again. We were having a conversation about it and in the middle of the conversation, she says "Don't say that, you sound like Tyler" (her ex), obviously trying to piss me off.
What the hell do I do?!
My plan of action is to ignore her until she realizes I'm a great guy and I treat her like a god damn queen. Yay or nay?
TL;DR: | Had a conversation about exes with girlfriend 4 days ago. She has been pissed ever since. I've been fine. Do I reassure her that she is mine or ignore her until she realizes I'm a great boyfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriends [M20] [M 21] and I [M18], of a few months, are having some issues with talking.
POST: I've been in a relationship with my boyfriends for a few months and we are Long Distance. As a basic need for my relationships I need to talk to someone through Skype. (It prevents the feelings of talking to a computer rather than a person).
however, every time I want to call them they aren't in the mood or are busy. [M21] is in college so I can understand being busy. [M20] is usually doing something else or in a call already. (Note that I am interested in talking with him rather than being in a group call with him.)
(quick note about [M20] is that his parents are super strict and not very tolerant. He's scared most of the time about his parents finding out he's gay and kicking him out of the house. He usually feels really bad about not calling me and goes into a recursive depression. )
TL;DR: | I need to convince my BFs somehow to call me on Skype more but they are both either busy, not in the mood, or too scared to call. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [Discussion] My dog, who doesn't like being separated, only ever relocates herself away from me at the same time each morning.
POST: This is just a simple curiosity post.
About a month ago I rescued Maia, a German Shepherd mix. She never leaves my side.
What I find very interesting is that she only seems to feel comfortable sleeping next to me in her bed. Expect, like clockwork, she wakes up at 5 and checks to see if I am awake. When she realizes that I'm not getting up, she goes back to sleep, but not next to me, downstairs in the dining room.
Its the only time that she willingly separates herself from me by different rooms.
Any ideas as to why this may be?
TL;DR: | My dog wakes up at the same time everyday and relocates herself to a different room. This is the only time during the day that she willingly separates herself from me. Why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] and my bf [25M], his ex [24F] is in his friendship group
POST: This is quite a silly question compared to some here, but it's a tricky social situation that I could use advice in navigating. Me and the bf have been dating 1 year, we don't live together. I live about 1.5 hours away, so it's difficult for me to hang out with him during the week. His friends and ex mostly live close to him. His ex is well established in the friendship group, she was in the group before they started dating.
After he broke up with his ex, he avoided the friendship group for a while because it was quite awkward, plus me and him started dating soon after. She started dating someone else in the friendship group since then. Although that was weird for a while it's becoming less awkward over time. I have met his friends a few times, but not very often because I can't be around during the week when they hang out. I have met his ex a couple of times as well. When we've hung out we talk more to each other than our own bf's.
So me and the ex got on well, we're friends on facebook and she keeps liking my photos (even of me and the bf). My bf thinks this is a calculated move, he's not sure why, possibly she's trying to be my friend. She never ever likes his stuff. My bf bumped into her recently and she said she was going to invite us out with her new bf and some others, but she thought that I wouldn't be able to make it cos it was a weekday. So, she didn't invite him at all, i.e. she would only have invited us. Then they made vague plans for all of us to hang out next time I'm around, she literally told him the times that she wasn't available at the weekend, so we could work around them.
So I guess my question is: what is the ex up to? She seems to be reaching out to me perhaps? I'm basically kinda confused. She's literally the friendliest towards me out of all his friends. What should I do? Should I reach out back? It's all so weird!
TL;DR: | bf's ex seems to be really friendly towards me, more than any other friends. Not sure why. Not sure if I should make an effort to be friends (beyond being casual friendly) given she's the ex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Oklahoma, Apartment Renter, After three years of living, Landlord randomly visits.
POST: Recently my landlord decided to stop by and look, only through the door, no stepping in.
He had something on his mind, which later I could only assume he heard something he didn't approve of.
After taking a short minute to look in, he was fine. As he started to walk away, I asked if everything was ok, and if he heard a rumor or something. He turned around, hesitated, tried to say something, then said never mind, don't worry.
I closed the door, waited a moment, looked out my window. He didn't walk far. He was at the edge of the street, leaning on my roommates back end, with his phone in hand. After a about 10 seconds, he started walking down the road, not towards his house. He doesn't run an office for the small set of apartments he runs.
TL;DR: | Landord stops by, for the first time in three years, to look through my front door, wouldn't say way, then walks away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my friend [30 F] 8months, first time out together went out for dinner and drinks went well but might have messed up future dates.
POST: known my friend for about 8 months meet trough friends. We always hung out in groups since we first met. But lately been going to the gym together and last night was the first time we went out and took her to went to a picked her up then to basketball game i asked her to go to. Had a great time and hit off nicely had a few drinks then went to have dinner after. Now gave me hug in the car before leaving told me to text her when i get home.
Anyways my cousin texted me "how did your night go with your friend?" at the same time my friend text me she got home and thats when i accidentally texted "hey it went really well and we ate at yard house after"
Then my friend texted "wrong person theawkwardfan"
and i quickly texted "oh hahhaha oops my bad!"
then she replied "lol We good!"
then talk about the inside jokes we had during the night and she said goodnight.
So did i ruin any chances of future dates or messed up our friendship?
TL;DR: | do you think i messed up future dates or friendship texting my friend about our first date "it went really well and ate at yard house"? or i shouldnt over think it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Balancing School - Work - Gym
POST: I'm from the Philippines, I'm 24, I work from 8:00 AM to 5:30 PM (standard working hours), I have post-grad school every other night and Saturday, and I have to go the gym 4x a week (it's a stress reliever and it helps me fight being depressed). These are actually just my top 3 priorities right now. Other priorities that I have to consider are my girlfriend, family, friends, my food cart business, and my fund investments.
However I'm seriously having a hard time balancing my time and I think I'm doing a mediocre job in school because of it. I'd like to ask help from people who experienced juggling so much responsibilities at the same time and yet still manages to be awesome at the things that they do. Is there a strategy that you can give me?
I'm a person of habit, here's my usual daily routine from Monday to Friday:
* 5:00: Wake-up and prep for the office
* 6:00: Arrive at the office
* 6:00-7:00: Prepare for the day (I fix myself at the office - i.e. brush teeth, groom myself, eat breakfast etc.)
* 7:00-8:00: Study for school
* 8:00-5:30: Work
* 5:30-7:00: Drive back home - traffic is REALLY bad here
* 7:00-7:30: Eat dinner
* 7:30-8:00: Rest OR Study
* 8:00-10:00: Rest OR Study OR Gym
* 10:00: Sleep
TL;DR: | How can I still do excellently in school and work without comprising the time that I have with my health, friends, family, and girlfriend? I'm willing to consider all options (including the extreme ones). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 M] girlfriend [24 F] of 4 years, told me that I flirt with everyone I meet, man or woman. Friends agree.
POST: My girlfriend (calmly, not during a fight) mentioned that I flirt with everyone I meet and that it took her a while to get used to it. A gay friend that was with us agreed that it was with both genders and confusing for him when we first met. I was given a "fake" award for "Biggest Flirt" in college about 6 years ago and my ex-girlfriend saw it and told me it was much-deserved. I assumed this was just a joke and laughed it off.
We've asked around and it's definitely become the general consensus in my group of friends. I don't know what this means and I don't consciously notice what they're talking about. I've never purposely done this.
I'm average-looking and tend to smile a lot. I've always felt like I hold comfortable eye-contact in social settings, give people time to talk, keep conversations going, and laugh at people's bad jokes. I assumed these were social norms but I'm clearly doing something wrong. I don't ever touch people during conversations or compliment things about them.
That being said, I've been asked out by several men and women from as far back as high-school. I've had girls try to kiss me at parties and I had to excuse myself and leave. If a girl randomly gives me her number, I nicely tell her I won't be calling her because I have a girlfriend.
I guess I'm wondering how to handle this. I don't want people to feel like I'm flirting with them, but it seems this is what I've always done. I've always found making friends to be easy for me and people generally tend to like me. If I change something, will it be harder to do? Will people like me less overall?
TL;DR: | The way I make friends with people is seen by others as "flirting." How is this different from normal social interaction and will people like me less if I change it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: So, I just interviewed (first one) and I ended up saying I was fine with a commitment (3-4 years). Now that I've thought about it...
POST: * The position is 'histology technologist'...although now that I've read the hiring manager's email again, he's used it interchangeably with 'histology technician'. I don't know if they are different levels of the position or not.
* He mentioned in the interview that the original position required the ASCP certification (which I can actually get in a year in his lab), and this new one requires only '30 credits in bio and chem', which with my chem degree I more than meet that requirement. I also have good independent laboratory experience from a really tough school, and like many science majors, my dream job is one in research/biotech.
* The hiring manager said I was one of three interviewees for the first interview and I'll hear about a second one within two weeks. I'm sure I bombed the interview (first one), but if I somehow get a second interview, is it okay for me to back out? They want someone who will stay for a minimum of 3 years "since they'll be training me", and I'm not sure I can do that anymore. I don't feel like this position interests me all that much, or offers much in the way of advancement in my interests. I feel like the job duties and skills that I learn from it would be too narrow for me to do to something else, but I may be wrong.
* I said I was still interested, because I couldn't think of a polite way of expressing some of my doubts over the phone. Am I right to turn this down after a first interview? Am I being arrogant/greedy? I realize it's incredibly difficult to get a job right now, and I'm grateful for even having one interview, but can I still be picky?
* Anyone in the histotech field have any advice?
TL;DR: | I feel I am a wrong fit for a histotech position, and though I reaffirmed my interest post-interview, I'm having doubts. Are they unfounded? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does a relationship need financial equality? He's bought a house and She only pays token rent
POST: We've been together several years, both in our mid 20s (He a few years older than She). Towards the end of last year He bought a house for both of us to live in, while She was just finishing off studying (She graduated at the end of the year).
Now, He is working full time and paying off the mortgage, She is working a few part-time jobs and not earning enough to contribute fully but does pay a bit of token rent (equates to about 1/5th of the mortgage payments) and half of all the bills.
The main conflict is that He is 100% sure that the agreement when buying the house was that she would get a FT job and start paying half (or close to) the mortgage when she finished studying, while She is 100% convinced that the agreement was that she would start paying half (or close to) the mortgage when she found suitable FT work, whenever that was, and that She'd made sure that He would be happy to pay the full mortgage (and have full ownership) for as long as that took.
He is pissed off because he doesn't have as much spending money as he would if She was paying half the mortgage (though he can easily afford the payments on his own, but it does cut into holiday money etc) and he doesn't have the flexibility to look for a better job in case it goes pear-shaped and he can't afford the mortgage any more. She is pissed off that he is pissed off, as she has even less spending money than he does and she contributes a small amount to mortgage and pays her share of everything else, and she is looking for appropriate FT work.
I mostly want to ask "who's annoyance is justified?" and hope you pick me, but would also welcome constructive problem solving suggestions.
TL;DR: | She can't contribute half of the mortgage for His house and thinks that's fine, He thinks that a relationship can't work without financial equality. Who's right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Cat lady conundrum as old as time: cat vs. boyfriend
POST: First let me just say I've sought the help of multiple cat lady forums -- the only advice I ever got was "cats have great intuition, he's probably bad, get rid of him." Unbelievably unhelpful considering I think I know the root of her hatred towards him, and it's not an inner evil she's sensing. Also I think it's super appropriate my first reddit post is about cats. I hope I have proper reddiquette
He adopted her for me, he's been with her since I first got her (and the first few weeks I was jealous because she liked him better) but I'm such a ninny when it came to clipping her nails, applying eye drops when she hurt her eye, taking her to the vet, etc. He stepped up and did all of that. One time in particular we were at the vet who asked one of us to hold her by her scruff, of course he did it while I tried not to cry in the corner, and since then she's absolutely hated him. Terrified, actually. Runs out of the room when he enters, disappears till he leaves. I couldn't let her live that way, and when I was home visiting my parents (I am off at college) they begged me to let them keep her. She lives with them and is really, really happy, but my boyfriend and I visit all the time and I'm moving back home in a few months. She hasn't forgotten -- I just feel so bad that she feels so threatened and scared in her own home when he's around, and I've honestly invited him over less because of it, but my parents adore him and want him over. I've tried to have him feed her treats or whatnot, but when he comes, she's MIA until he leaves, she doesn't even realize he's the one who left the treats out for her.
TL;DR: | my cat has a strong aversion to my boyfriend because she associates him with the one who subjects her to pain/discomfort, is there any hope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my boyfriend [24 M] for 9 months, I think it's the end.
POST: I'll try to keep the story short.
When my boyfriend first asked me out, I told him I'd love to, but that I was asexual, and would not go past kissing. I understood that this would make a relationship difficult, and that it's okay if he does not to enter into one with me. He said "I just want you; the lack of sexual activity will be hard, but I can handle that."
Well, over time I guess it has started to put a strain on him. We had a serious conversation over the weekend, and a couple (in my opinion) deal breakers came up.
1. He is ready for sex. He asked if I would be able to compromise a bit more. I have considered, for a while now; but even kissing is unpleasant, the thought of making out gives me a panic attack, so anything further is out of the question. After telling him this, he requested that we try sex, just once, to see if I could bear it. I told him no.
2. He wants to raise children, and I do not. It's not even just about the sex, it's that I do not want kids of my own, whether they be adopted or of my own blood.
He suggested we try one or two sessions of couples counseling, which I agreed to cause I figured it wouldn't hurt.
I don't want the relationship to end, but I don't see a solution either. I guess my question is, does reddit see anything we don't?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend wants sex; I do not. He also wants kids, and I don't. I know the relationship is probably over, I just wanna make sure there isn't another solution we're missing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit! What would you do if you could implement any thing you wanted to in my fifth grade classroom?
POST: So, reddit... here's the deal. I am doing my graduate internship in a (public) fifth grade classroom and have a good chuck of time each week to go off of the curriculum and do things in the classroom that normally would not be done.
I am trying to start a new "subject" called Junkbox. Heres how I envision it working. My students could sign up each week to pull an activity from this "junkbox" and pretty much do whatever they would like with it for the week. I have a lot of miscellaneous materials that the kids could experiment with, such as gardening gear, old film cameras, tape recorders, old shortwave radios and car parts.
What I would like to do is build up a good list of items and objects for my students to experiment with so that they can spend some time every week from now until the end of the school year experiencing things (ideas/technologies) that they would normally not encounter in an elementary school.
So reddit, do you have any suggestions? If you could take any sort of age appropriate object into a fifth grade room, what would it be? What would you hope for the kids to get out of it? Ill take any suggestion into consideration and if any of you have any weird old gizmos or gadgets that you would like to introduce to a fifth grader I would be more than happy to take anything off of your hands!
Oh. Its a public school. I have no budget.
TL;DR: | I want reddit to think of fun new things for my students to play with outside of their state mandated drudgery! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31m] and my [33f] of 5 months. I think my gf is going to bail next weekend to hang out with her ex before he leaves town.
POST: So first things first. I'm not a jealous guy and I
don't care if she hangs out with exes. She's met
a few for lunch or coffee since we've been
dating. Problem is I feel like she will bail on me
to hangout with him before he moves out of
town next weekend. She said we could meet
him but then wasn't sure because he had a
problem and gives her shit when she dates
white guys. She said she doesn't want him to
feel weird if I go. I'm white she's white, he's
black. Based on what she says he clearly
dislikes me even though he hasn't met me.
Now it's not the fact that she's meeting with an
ex that bothers me. It's the fact that if she does
this time I would be disappointed that she is
bailing on our weekend time together to see an
ex. Especially since she is leaving that sunday
for work and we won't see each other for 4
days. Plus we never get to spend full weekends
together and only see each other 2 to 3 times
during the week due to work schedules. The
dilemma for me is that I feel like if I object she's
gonna see it as me not trusting her or being
pathetic and jealous of her ex. Which isn't the
case. They've hung out before. But never during
our date time. If it was just like an hour or
something I would be cool but if it's all night
that's a no go for me.
How do I explain this to her without coming
across as jealous and mistrusting?
TL;DR: | Gf may want to hang out with an ex. I've never cared before but given the circumstances this time I do. How do explain my feelings about it without seeming jealous and mistrusting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my ex gf [24 F] of 3.5 years broke up and having a hard time get over it
POST: I had been dating my ex for three and a half years, we lived in the same town and had similar friends. Aside from some issues in the begging things were fantastic for the majority of the relationship and I was planning on asking her to marry me in a few more years.
During the last year of our relationship she became more distant, took school way more seriously, and started hanging out with other people. It was a struggle for her to text once a day and we would see each other maybe once a month and generally not for a long period of time.
It has been about 6 months since we broke up. I still think about it every day, it causes me anxiety and puts me in a terrible mood. She on the other hand is relatively unaffected as I am fairly certain she had moved on at least 6 months before the relationship ended.
This month we are going to my buddies cottage to which she was invited to before we broke up and is not being uninvited. She is friends with the people going but to a much lesser extent than I am for all except a couple people. I'm not sure how or if I can handle her coming to the cottage and how should I handle the situation in general?
TL;DR: | Can't get over ex-gf, she is coming on a cottage trip this month and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] often feel nauseous before and during dates. Anxiety makes no sense, don't know how to fix this. Running out of time!
POST: Hello reddit. Here's the deal. In the past couple of years I often feel nauseous when in a social situation with girls I like. I don't really get how it works, sometimes I feel healthy and comfortable too with the same girls, but I can feel the same sort of nausea when with male people I have zero sexual interest in. I'm meeting with a girl I like a lot [25F] in two days, and I feel the nausea will make an appearance again. I'm most probably in her friendzone, but irrelevant to this topic I'm actually okay with that. I want to have a good time and the nausea is the only thing preventing this.
It sounds like social anxiety, but that makes no sense. I feel confident. I can keep up conversation no problem, I can make people laugh, people like me (I know this girl in particular certainly does)... I like meeting new people, I can talk to strangers, and I'm completely at peace with the bit of social awkwardness I have. It's pretty much all I need to have a good time. Except for the random appearing nausea. Since I don't know where this is coming from I don't know how to fix this.
As for the girl, I don't want to spoil our relationship whether it be romantic or more likely just friends by ruining almost every social occasion. If I fuck this relationship up it probably WILL start to affect my confidence. Time is running out, especially because I'm seeing her soon.
I'm now considering to express my feelings towards here. Not with the goal of winning her over or something, though that certainly would be nice, but with the goal of getting it off my chest so I can move on emotionally.
TL;DR: | despite feeling confident and knowing I can do well during dates, I often feel nauseous. Don't know the cause and therefore don't know the cure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Getting significantly less financial aid this year
POST: I go to a community college. Last year I got a little over 6k in aid (2 grants. Pell and higher ed). Nothing has changed iny situation. 23 so my dad's tax info was used. He's on disability and makes about 30k a year. I worked part time and make 5k a year. This year I'm getting 3k (no pell, just higher) in aid. I obviously qualify for aid. Last year I had an EFC of 0. I have no idea why its different, since nothing chanhed. Should I talk to financial aid or would it just be a waste of time?
TL;DR: | no pell grant this year. Financial aid went from 6k to 3k per year. Nothing has changed in my situation. Should I take to Financial aid or would I be wasting my time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Need help in vandalism situation.
POST: I had a run-in with the local police for being on my friend's roof i wasnt supposed to be on. Got frisked for drugs, nothing found. I was questioned about some graffiti that was up on the roof, but they eventually let me go after taking my info. The kicker is, one of my friends, an artist, did the painting, and asked me to go over it with glaze to make it look nicer. This was caught on video and turned in to the police. I need some advice on what to do in case of another encounter. Also some knowledge on what could happen would be helpful.
TL;DR: | I helped do some graffiti on a building, someone got it on video, sent it to the cops who know my name and address. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [17/m] My girlfriend [15/f] is in a religious cult. It is tearing me apart, but she doesn't know it. Please help.
POST: Okay I'll try to keep this brief. We have been dating for about 4 months, although I've known her for several years (We live in the same neighborhood.) and, things are going quite well, and I can surely say that she is one of the few people in the world I genuinely love and care for. There is next to no drama in our relationship as we are quite open with each other, but she has always avoided telling me what religion she follows. Last night she finally told me, she is involved in an organization called The Institute of Divine Metaphysical Research. When I asked her to describe it to me, she had a hard time with it and told me that I basically had to experience it myself. I am atheist, and I don't care for organized religion, and under normal circumstances it wouldn't really matter to me that she is a little religious because she doesn't ever talk about it or try to force her opinions of me, and vice versa. I only asked out of curiosity, mainly because I don't want any big surprises in the future. However, IDMR is a straight-up CULT. They follow one figure pretty blindly. I haven't talked to her about it but I plan to, just to kind of get a feel on her level of involvement/commitment to the "school". Which BTW doesn't seem like much because she doesn't go to the "classes" too often but she has admitted to me that she believes what is being taught. In the end, everyone should follow what they believe, however I do not see how someone so smart could follow something like this, not because I think the teachings are ridiculous but because of how they are being presented. (Jesus, AKA Yahweh "stepping into" and presenting himself through one man, and one man alone.)
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is in a cult called IDMR and I feel like it makes her crazy, please help. This is a link to the history of the place |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: How can I get my dog more readily responsive
POST: I have a relatively wilful but *very* smart corgi puppy who is going to be doing her CGC test in a couple of months (at a year old). She knows a ton of tricks and is great off leash at the park etc. but she is terrible about listening in the house. She will do what I tell her but I have to ask 4 or 5 times unless I have cookies and have sat down for our daily trick practice ritual.
She does generally have very good recall, it's just things like sit, down, play dead, rollover etc that she doesn't like to do right away. She will often shake her head and make silly noises right when I tell her to do something as if she is saying "Nah hahaha I don't wanna!" It's hilarious but she really needs to get her act together for this test and I'm wondering if you guys have any tips.
TL;DR: | my dog knows lots of tricks but doesn't like to listen until I've asked her multiple times to do something. How can I help her become more responsive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend [32F] set me [23F] up with a blind date[36M]. Personality seems on point, but I'm not really attracted to him. And the age difference kinda scares me.
POST: I haven't said anything to anyone. They gave him my number and we've been texting for a few days, but haven't met.
He's my friend's "brother" (exBIL) and he is very sweet and gentlemanly... but I can't forget about the fact that in the couple of photos I've seen, he's looked bug-eyed. Which isn't bad, just not my personal taste.
I also can't stop thinking about what my parents would say- especially since while my mom and dad are 51 and 52, my stepdad is only 43... and my mom met him when he was 34 (and married him at 35).
I have an extremely submissive/can't-hurt-anyones-feelings-even-if-it's-detrimental-to-myself personality and am completely lost on what to do in this situation, so any advice I can get would be lovely.
Thank you!
TL;DR: | What should I do about the fact the unattractive but sweet blind date my friend set me up on is older than my stepdad was when my mom married him and that creeps me out? Without hurting anyone's feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [m/15]
POST: so me and my friend met at the start of the year and really hit it off. she got a phone and we nonstop texted. we have know eachother for probably 4 months. our texting convos have decreased in quantity but increased in quality( saying nicer things, being nicer, talking about more personal questions.) we used to talk alot in gym because thats all we had together, but she made other friends, so she sit with me at lunch, but shes always reading or on her phone. so the only time we really talk is over text. we have not hung out at all outside of school
(excluding a couple football games). I'm starting to like her, well less starting and more like I have liked her since September. shes really cool and I was thinking about telling her on the 21st of dec how I feel.
TL;DR: | me and a girl have become less talkative and I donn't know what that means. also I like her a lot |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: I'm driving i-80 in PA from coast to coast tomorrow. Looking for scenic spots close to the highway to stop and take pics along the way.
POST: Hi r/travel! My parents live in Connecticut but I go to school in Michigan. Tomorrow, I make the drive back to the midwest. I think the drive through PA is *gorgeous* (I've made this trip 5 times now) but while I see so much while driving, there are absolutely no available spots to pullover (legally) and enjoy the scenery! I love my camera and am completely willing to take a detour to get some pictures. If anyone knows of any places (I'll say 20 minutes max off the highway) that are really beautiful or lend themselves for some nice shots please let me know! Thanks everyone! :)
TL;DR: | what are some beautiful places in PA close to i-80 that I can pull over and take pictures? Any pretty scenery (forest, waterfall, parks, etc.) would be great, thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 20 Y/o Male starting a relationship with a 28 Y/o woman?
POST: Hey reddit!
I've known this girl at my workplace for a few years now. We started hanging out and talking to each other a lot earlier this year. She's 8 years older than I am though, and our friendship/relationship seemed to hit a wall when we got to discussing our age differences and considered a possible relationship. I made it clear to this girl that age didn't matter to me at all, and that I really liked her, but it must have been too big an issue for her. Because, she became more interested in trying to set me up with one of her friends instead, but it just didn't work out. Eventually, things kinda fell apart for us and we were nothing more than just friends for awhile and didn't hang out much anymore.
Well this past week, she decided to start talking to me again, and she came on really flirtatious at work too. We talk everyday for many hours now. But it seems like every so often, the age difference thing randomly gets brought up in our conversations and talks end a little awkward. I always say to her age doesn't matter and I feel like I never get a full blown response or acceptance from her though. We have so much in common, we talk about music and movies all the time. We can tell each other pretty much anything too. I feel like an age difference is the only thing keeping us from something better though and I hate it. I feel like I've made my feelings known to her, but it's the same old thing. Maybe I need to be more upfront and to the point with how I truly feel.
I'm spending some time with her this weekend too, but I just need help Reddit. How do I convince a woman to not worry about age difference... or is this impossible? I feel we're missing out on a great possible relationship because of it. Normally I'd understand the arguments... Like me being and college and her being an adult. But see, we're both in college and really in the same life situations. So age seems really redundant at this point.
TL;DR: | I like this girl alot, but she's 8 years older than me, and even though we like each other, I think she's afraid of dating a man as young as me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Just woke up to my dad "leaving us" wtf should i do?
POST: An hour ago my little brother came into my room and woke me up crying saying that my parents were fighting.
My dad is a pretty violent man, but with a lot of self control. He just explodes from time to time.
My mom is a loving, but with issues kind of person.
So i woke up and my dad was taking his clothes off his closet, and screaming at my mom, ranting about me, and i just thought NOT AGAIN!
They fight from time to time but when they fight, they fight BIG. and at the end my dad always ends up calming down and giving a hug to everyone, which my mome hates.
This time seems different, I just spent 15 minutes with my mom trying to explain to me what happened. As always she tried to make us understand that it wasn't HER fault, she didn't do anything.
(She always does). She said she didn't say any cursing like he just did (but she has a way to fuck with you without cursing).
Anyways according to my mom my dad has been constantly threatening her for the past 3 weekends, which seems plausible but weird for him (last weekend we fought somewhat big for a very stupid thing, typical teen fight with his dad. But the weekend before that we were in a sort of ranch for the whole weekend and i don't recall a fight).
This time my dad threatened her and she said she was tired of all that and he just exploded, as usual, and started talking shit to her and about everyone (incluiding me, while I was asleep), He says he's tired of us all, and a lot of shit he always says when he's mad.
He has an app on his cellphone that let's certain people know where he is, he's on his office right now, i guess he's calming down, or maybe he hasn't passed the point where he just stops being angry and really starts thinking.
My siblings are blocking the event completely, my sister is just watching tv and my little brother was making his breakfast and talking about completely unrelated subjects.
My mom on the other hand is trying to act normal, but i know she's not ok.
TL;DR: | My dad gets really angry from time to time, he fought with my mom today while i was sleeping and he suposedly just "left us". |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of a year and a half, thinking about ending it.
POST: I created this throwaway because I just need to bounce my thoughts off someone(something?) and get some feedback.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for around a year and a half. I was a junior, she was a freshman when we started dating. At the time, we did not think the two school-year difference would cause any problems in our relationship. Now that I'm a freshman in college and she's still a junior in high school, it's causing some issues for me but not for her.
I should mention that our families are very, very, very close in many ways. I can only go into more detail in private messaging because I do not want to blatantly reveal who I am. All I can say is if we end up breaking up, I would still see a lot of her.
Anyways, I attended a community college for my first year of college, not because I wanted to stay with my girlfriend, but because I did not have the money to go to the school I wanted to. Now that this school year is coming to a close, I am preparing to move to a college that is almost two hours away from our hometown. Personally, I view this as an opportunity to meet new people and experience new things, but I feel like entering university life while in a relationship is limiting. Besides that, my girlfriend and I are each other's "firsts"... I feel like I never really got a chance to explore who I really am in my final years of high school. It is now dawning on my that I cannot let this feeling follow me into college.
I don't know /r/relationships, I just want to hear your thoughts on my situation. If you need/want more information, shoot me a PM and I will fill you in completely.
TL;DR: | 18 year old guy rethinking what he wants in his relationship entering his first year at university level. How do I end it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am cold to people I like, probably because of my vulnerability issues stemming from my high school days when I argued with my mother
POST: Problem: Whenever I like people, I end up being cold to them.
Root: I have vulnerability issues. I've had some of them resolve over the years, but I still can't get over the hurt that came from my mother. I used to fight a lot with my mother when I was in high school and for almost a year I would be angry, yelling, crying like crazy, and then fall asleep crying. My mother doesn't allow crying in front of her or getting pissed off or angry, no matter how justified. Her reasoning is because she's been through much more than me and she hadn't cried one bit. Also, seeing me angry gets her upset (and then she yells at me for making her upset). I used to argue that crying is a good thing, being pissed off or angry is natural. All I wanted was for her to show some love but no matter how much I argued for it, it never came and it left a hole. I kept on arguing until I developed difficulty breathing and my heart began beating irregularly. Nowadays when I cry, I cry in a separate room and don't ever let her know. I don't think I get angry anymore. I did talk to a psychologist when I was in college to help me get over some things. It did help to know that my mother's Chinese heritage would mean that her methods of child rearing and expectations of the child differ from my expectations of how a mother should treat a child but I still can't resolve these vulnerability issues I have. What can I do?
TL;DR: | Arguments with my mother from high school has left me with vulnerability issues, so much so that I am cold to people I like. I want to resolve my vulnerability issues so that I can have healthy relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it appropriate for someone with a SO to meet people of the opposite sex at a party, exchange numbers, and hang out 1 on 1?
POST: I want to hear both male and female sides of this. Ill try to explain my particular situation without gender to get both sides of the coin.
Recently my [24m] SO [23f] (dating for 4 months, exclusive for over a year) met a person of the opposite sex at a party. I was not at the party as i live several hours away from my SO. They hit it off, both are dating someone else, and have a common interest in a certain type of music (the person is actually part of a local band). They exchanged numbers and have been talking unbeknownst to me for a while. My SO and i went to a concert the other day and the person from the party was there texting them about it. Nothing came of it. Now i am back several hours away and this person is inviting my SO to concerts with them. Additionally this persons band has a show in about a month and is inviting my SO to attend it with them as what sounds like a vip. Im not overly jealous of the situation, but somehow it just doesnt seem quite appropriate to me. I just want to hear what others think about it.
TL;DR: | So went to party, met member of opposite sex, exchanged numbers, person is trying to hang out 1 on 1. Is this appropriate or do i have right to be slightly concerned? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Dealing with my mom's Douchebag husband.
POST: So, the quick and dirty of it is that my mom and I are tight, I help her run her business, etc we occasionally need to rely on each other. She married this guy out of financial convenience but now he barely wants to work retail (originally manager tier but stepped down due to pure laziness). He's a wallet hemorrhage for her (spends every dollar he touches) and she's on hard times now. She does any and everything to avoid an argument with him which usually means putting your entire life on hold and bailing on anyone else who needs you. This is the kind of guy who can't wait five minutes riding shotgun in the car while you go around the corner to buy milk HE wanted. Bottom line, the business is really struggling financially and she's just gotten to the point where she breaks down in tears and says that me expecting him to show consideration for others is unreasonable and I should stop. Unfortunately for now I depend on the business for a large part of my own income and hate to see my mother so unhappy. What should I do?
TL;DR: | step dad is an ignorant, whiny adult brat who always has to be right, with zero patience or consideration for anyone's needs but his own. Ruining my mom and the business we run together. Open to any suggestions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [M/25] want to ask a girl [F23] out that I haven't seen in 5 years.
POST: So in high school I really liked this girl, however she wasn't really interested. We were friends through high school but I think eventually I got on her nerves (to be fair I was quite annoying looking back, and while I never just said I had feelings for her I'm almost 100% sure she knew) and so about 5 years ago she basically just told me off. I didn't talk to her for a long time thinking that eventually we'd see each other again and make up.
Fast forward 5 years and I still haven't talked to her, but I liked her so much that every time an opportunity comes up where I may want to pursue other relationships, I can never bring myself to go through with it because I always think that if I ever did see her again I wouldn't be able to take the other relationship seriously, and that wouldn't be fair for anybody.
I want to be able to call her and ask her to get together (in a completely non sexual way) to do something. But I don't know how to go forward. I feel like calling someone 5 years after you haven't spoken to them saying "Hey I've been thinking about you a lot" may be quite off-putting.
I'm very genuine in this and willing to be completely transparent with her, I just want to be able to see her again if for nothing else than closure. I'm not very socially adept though and am terrified that I could blow my chance to see her again with a few wrong words.
This fear is all compounded by the fact that I don't make a ton of money, I'm a freelance graphic designer (I will note that I do get consistent work, just not a lot of hours) and still live at home with my mother (who is just lovely by the way). I worry that the lack of success will be another deal breaker.
So girls and girl savvy guys of reddit, what would you advise?
TL;DR: | Liked a girl a lot in high school, she told me off 5 years ago, I want to get together with her but require tact in what I say due to the massive time gap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, please, what is your most Socially Awkward Penguin moment? I'll start...
POST: This just happened: I walk into my local bar with my friend after work. My friend points out that a drop-dead gorgeous woman who I recently met at a party happens to be sitting over yonder. Wanting to be super suave and friendly, I head in the direction he's pointing to see her sitting at a table with a few other people. I have this dorky grin on my face as I walk over to say hi. She's watching me approach her and smiling back, but the closer I get, the more I realize it's not her. I can feel my face turn from super happy to confused as fuck to OMG WHAT'SHAPPENING INEEDTOGETOUTOFHERE. So like the biggest SAP on the planet, I stop about four feet from her and turn the fuck around, Scared Yao face all up in that motherfucker. Meanwhile, my friend passes me, walks right up to her, and they start chit-chatting. It turns out it WAS her, but I couldn't tell because I've only seen her in makeup and a dress. This time, she had on sweats, her hair was all curly, and she was bare-faced... except for the super confused/weirded out look she kept shooting my way. I stood behind them the whole time like the epitome of awkwardness, managed to get out a whispered "Hi," and then hightailed it outside. I suck.
Please, comfort me with your stories as I dig this hole and bury myself in it.
TL;DR: | Walked over to a stunning woman at a bar, performed Happy, Confused, and Scared Yao faces in that order, kind of want to hide under the covers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I have no friends and I'm becoming overly clingy/needy with my SO. What do I do?
POST: I'm 25 year old male and my SO is a 25 year old woman. We've been together for 6 months. The problem is that I have no friends in real life at all, and my SO is my best friend. She has a life and friends of her own, and places to be or hangout. I don't.
I know I'm becoming overly clingy and insecure and I know it's pushing her away. If I text her and she doesn't respond in a hour or two, I get antsy and it bothers me until I text her again before she responded to the first one.
I can feel her pulling away and ignoring me lately, which puts my insecurity and clingyness into overdrive. I get desperate to hear from her, to hear that she loves me and unanswered texts start a pressure going in my head that can only be let off by her attention. I've started to go over the top with giving her attention because I want it reciprocated, which seems like it's having the opposite effect. She's become less attentive and been starting to ignore me.
I know I can't make her the center of my entire universe, but it's so hard not to when you don't have friends. I know the obvious advice here is going to be "make some friends" but as an introverted post-college guy with social anxiety issues (which is why I am 25 with no friends in the first place) that's not even possible in my eyes.
How can I salvage this? I want to change. Should I just force myself to hold back and wait for her to contact me first rather than texting her over and over? My thought there is that she'll feel like I don't care about her if I don't try to contact her. That's probably wrong but that's what my brain tells me. I need my own hobbies and ways to occupy myself from worrying and thinking and wanting to spend so much time with her.
TL;DR: | I have no friends, my SO is my only friend. I'm becoming overly clingy and needy and I feel it pushing her away. What do I do? Making friends is not exactly an option to me right now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] 3 year relationship, Will I look back and regret all the things i missed?
POST: I [18/m] have been in a 3 year relationship with a girl who is popular, hot, and to everyone else seems amazing. Although she is incredibly jealous to the point where i have missed out on parties, friends you name it for her.
The problem is we're almost stuck in the mould of how our relationship was when I was 15 and her 14 which makes the jealousy a real issue now i'm at university (first year).
since moving i've seen so much that's made me wander if one day i'll look back and wish i'd been able to do all the things I missed for her. Not necessarily sex with other girls etc. but just being able to go out and not having to worry about fb pics with a girl the next morning etc. explaining who i'm with 24/7. I don't want to wait too long and miss out on the things i wont be able to do forever.
TL;DR: | M/18, Gf of 3 years jelousy has made me question whether i'll one day regret missed opportunities or if i'll regret losing her even more. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my husband [28 M], should I tell him about this little crush I'm having?
POST: My husband and I have been together for 10 years. I love him deeply and would never do anything to hurt him.
Lately, I've been developing a little crush on my boss (of all people!). It's not even a physical thing. He's a lot older than me but we connect really well. I feel really confident around him. So I spend a lot of time talking about work at home and I think about it even more.
I'm sure my husband suspects something but apart from some small comments, he hasn't talked about it. So now I'm in doubt whether I should tell him or not. I don't want to blow this up, because it doesn't mean anything but I value honesty as well. I'm not sure if our relationship will benefit from telling him.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on my boss. It will pass. I won't enact on it. Should I tell husband or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Dealathons (online deal company) has essentially "stolen" my money. Can I get authorities involved since they are no longer responding?
POST: Hi, live in Canada. I purchased two travel vouchers from Dealathons for a boutique hotel in Los Cabos. Total cost was $778.00. When I went to book the hotel they informed me that due to not being paid and a breach in contract with Dealathons they can't honor my vouchers and I need to contact Dealathons for a refund.
I attempted to contact Dealathons to start the procedure of getting a refund. They initially offered me a credit on their site for $1000. I refused that and asked for a refund which they then stated was impossible as I was past the 60 days from when my credit card was charged (can't refund to credit card). I asked them to cut me a cheque or e-transfer the money then at which time I was told that my case was being forwarded to management. Since that time (over 2 months ago), I no longer receive any responses to queries as to what is happening. Emails are completely ignored, phone calls to them are "transferred" to a managers phone which of course every time goes to voicemail or informs me that the voicemail is full and to try back.
I have repeatedly tried to get a refund of my money but it seems that the company is ok with just pocketing my $778.00.
Can I get the authorities involved in this since they have essentially stolen my money? I will most likely need to go through small claims court to try to recoup my money but if possible I would like to press charges since this company is still running and if you google their name you will see TONS of people having the same sort of issues when asking for a refund.
I can understand them not refunding my money if it was because I didn't like the product, or had some other issue with it but I am unable to use the vouchers I purchased from them because they did not pay the vendor. That is no longer my fault, yet they refuse to acknowledge my request for a refund to be processed.
Sorry about the wall of text. Thank you for any assistance or help any of you can provide.
TL;DR: | Purchased $778 worth of vouchers from Dealathons. Dealathons did not pay vendor so vendor will not accept the vouchers. Dealathons is now actively ignoring my requests to get my money back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my boyfriend [30M] of 1 year, refuses to be tagged in a picture with me
POST: I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year. Neither of us use social media other than Facebook.
I use Facebook on a limited basis, mostly to keep up with my large family and close friends. I do not have a relationship status and until a month ago, no pictures of my boyfriend and myself together.
My boyfriend uses Facebook, he says, differently, mostly to involve himself in certain political discussions, which includes being friends with people he has never met. While he does genuinely do this, he also uses it to keep up with family and friends, including infrequently posting pictures of himself with his mother and friends, both male and female - and yes, there are pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend, not from now but from when they were together eight years ago, before he became involved in politics.
My problem is, my boyfriend refuses to be tagged in a picture with me, even one without a romantic context. He says it is because of his involvement in certain political discussions and being friends with people he has never met, which is probably at least partially true. However, I am upset that I am the only person he refuses to be tagged in a picture with.
Last month, I posted my first, and only, picture of the two of us, without a romantic context. He was fine with that. But he doesn't want to tag himself in it.
I feel petty for caring so much. I feel frustrated that while he says he understands my feelings, he doesn't actually make a separate account for family and friends like he said he would because according to him, he basically forgot and now doesn't have time for the next few weeks.
He has introduced me to his family and friends in person, but it still bothers me.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 1 year refuses to be tagged in a picture with me, but is alright being tagged in pictures with other people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think my[21f] bf[23M] lost his job and hasnt told me yet.
POST: I was cleaning our apartment the other day and stumbled upon some applications for various minimum wage jobs. All his friends have jobs and he doesnt have any younger relatives he would be helping look for jobs so I have to assume he is looking for a job for himself. My bf has or it seems had a Tech support job so I am guessing he is looking for a minimum wage job until he can find another Tech Support job.
I found the applications a week ago and I do not know what to do. I thought my boyfriend would have told me by now.I guess its possible he is just worried about being fired and he is just preparing for if that happens. He has been leaving the apartment at the same time he normally does and I assume returning at the normal time, Im at work when he gets off so I really have no idea.
We have been together for 2 years and this is the first time that I've found him hiding something from me. I dont know if I should bring it up or if I should wait for him to bring it up since it is obviously a sensitive topic.
TL;DR: | found applications that my bf was hiding, I think he lost or may lose his job and he isnt telling me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU at Red Lobster
POST: So it was my birthday last week, and since I didn't get to celebrate it, we moved it to yesterday and went to Red Lobster. I was feeling a little under the weather during the day, but after a shower, I felt better and thought it would be fun.
NOPE.
We waited a half hour to get a table, but it wasn't that bad. Biscuits and calamari were great, my insatiable appetite ravaging through the multiple fried crisps. Then, we order entrees. Caesar salad, with endless shrimp, and lemonade. As we wait, food comes out quicker than usual, but right before it comes out, I feel a lot sicker. My nose begins to stuff itself, I start coughing, and generally feel tired. But the worst part is, my once insatiable appetite was beaten and tamed to where I couldn't get through 5 shrimp until I called it quits.
Then it gets worse. The waitress brings another plate of shrimp. Juicy, succulent, delicious, save for the fact that I couldn't eat anymore. Around 10 shrimp per skewer, that plate had 2. So, I talked with everything and they had a little laugh as I told them my predicament.
We didn't expect what happened next. The waitress brings 50 shimp to us, plate by plate, until my entire plate is filled with at least 100 shrimp, with me being unable to eat any of them. I'm sitting there in total agony at the fact that I really want to eat the shrimp, but I'm sick and I have no appetite to. So we have to box up over 100 shrimp and my cold only gets worse as we leave.
Then I step into a puddle and become convinced that God is punishing after my phone gets wet as well.
TL;DR: | Got sick, no appetite, barraged by 100 skewered, delicious shrimp, had to pack up all of it, walked into a puddle, fucked up my phone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] need help being more honest with my [19F] girlfriend (long distance).
POST: My girlfriend and I go to colleges 6 hours apart. We try to visit each other every 3 weeks. We're extremely happy together, have been dating for just over 3 years now, and there is no doubt in our minds we want to stay together through/after college. Here's where the problems start:
Last year, (our freshman year of college) I went a bit crazy with partying at the start of the year. I was excited about being out of my parent's house and drank way too much, way too often. Being new to the whole long-distance relationship thing, I didn't tell her about the majority of my partying, and of course she found out through our friends a few months later, and wasn't too happy about the fact that i hadn't told her. We got over it, and agreed to be more open and honest with each other, but for some reason its very hard for me.
I'm sometimes worried that she wont approve of my partying, and i don't always tell her when I drink. I rarely get drunk, almost exclusively at football tailgates or birthday parties. I often don't want her to worry about me drinking too much and getting hurt/making a bad choice, because that has happened to a good friend of hers. I truly want to be honest with her, but I also don't want her to be up all night worrying about me when I'm out having a good time with my friends.
Reddit, help me be more honest, I want there to be complete trust between us and I want to prevent future problems from happening.
TL;DR: | I don't tell my girlfriend when I go out to drink because I'm afraid that she will worry about me. I want to be more honest with her and need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my sibling [20 M], he wants to drop out of college and work in the tech field.
POST: I'm not a tech-savvy person, but my brother has always been. He's learned a lot about CS and web dev. He currently is halfway through school at a well-known university studying computer science. He got an offer to work with a start up/tech company to make money.
He's explaining to me that jobs in the tech field don't necessarily need a college degree to get them. Currently he said he's going to take a year off, but if everything goes well OR if he feels as if he's gained enough skills, he won't return to school and will continue to work in the tech field.
I feel as if he is young and ambitious, but I'm also stuck in the mindset that in this society, individuals need to have a college degree to get a job. Am I being unreasonable? I am supportive of him, but want to make sure that he is making intelligent and well-thought out decisions.
Any advice from individuals in the tech field that can assuage me of my fears for him?
TL;DR: | Brother wants to drop out of a pretty well-known school and work for a start up doing web-dev. Trying to be supportive, but know nothing about the tech field. Is he making a smart decision? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by playing a scary game before going to bed.
POST: So this happened this morning, actually (yay, bonus points!). My dad is an alcoholic (relevant). Not sure if you're into gaming, but there is this sale going on and a couple of days ago I bought a game. The game is called Alien: Isolation; it's a fairly scary game. Last night, I ended up browsing reddit and then, in the end, playing the game. I read a bunch of silly reddit things, one, in particular, was about irrational fears and some guy (OP) had an irrational fear of E.T. Then, like I said, I ended up playing the game.
Here is the FU:
I went to bed and had, which I can only describe as, a reddit-induced dream.
My dad was drunk and came in my room asking "Do you wanna see the alien? DO YOU WANNA SEE THE ALIEN?" Then he walked out of my room to grab the alien. I stumble to lock the door, because you know things don't work sometimes the way you want in dreams. I end up failing, and he ends up bursting into my room flailing E.T. at me and I sock E.T. right in the face.
That's it. The end of the dream. I ended up waking up right after that...
...soaked in urine...
TL;DR: | Browsed reddit and played a scary game before bed. Now have psychological problems involving my drunk dad and E.T. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (38M) have a pregnant GF (33F) and I'm not sure when to tell my daughter (6F) from a previous relationship. There's a small twist to the story...
POST: Me (38M) and my GF (33F) are expecting a child. She's 24 weeks along and everything is good with that. Mom is healthy and baby is healthy. But I'm stuck on when it's a good time to tell my daughter (6F) about our new kid.
My daughter is from a previous relationship. Lives with her mom but is with me about 40% of the month. Alternate weekends and miscellaneous days of the week kind of thing. So far she isn't the wiser to my GF being pregnant.
I'm going to be moving in with the GF very soon to be closer to help and to pool resources, so I feel that I need to tell my daughter soon...
The pregnancy was unplanned and a big surprise to both of us. We've gotten over the shock of that and are trying to do what is best for the baby and our relationship. All that is going ok considering the situation.
So the kicker is that it may not be my child, and if it isn't mine I'm pretty sure the relationship will end at that point.
There was no cheating on any ones part. This info was known from the get go. We were 2 adults in a long term FWB situation. It was an accident. In all likely hood it is mine. But there is a small chance that it may not be. That small chance is what is making me hesitant to tell my daughter. But at the same time I'm not sure if waiting to the child is born and a paternity test shows I'm the father is a great time to tell her either.
I have a good idea of what I need to do here. I have others inputs, friends and therapist, that I've taken into consideration and I'm curious as to what other might have to say about if and when I should tell my daughter.
Also an in utero paternity test is not an option. Paternity will have to wait till birth to be established.
TL;DR: | GF is pregnant with what is most likely my kid, but not 100% sure and that is weighing on me as to when and if I tell my 6 y/o daughter, from another relationship, about it. |