text
string | humour_label
int64 | language
string |
|---|---|---|
Why the princess cross the road? Because Diana wasn't wearing a seatbelt | 0 | en |
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya! | 0 | en |
so a special type of animal that can turn into food does not cross something. what a chicken ! | 0 | en |
To the dude i just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude! | 0 | en |
why does bono never get any mail? he lives on a street with no name . | 1 | en |
what do you call an artist in a dark alley? sketchy | 1 | en |
q : what kind of pizza do pilots like? a : plain . | 0 | en |
q : how did a blind man get poke marks on his face? a : learning to eat with a fork . | 0 | en |
what did the bread say after its massage? ahh , i kneaded that . | 1 | en |
Star Wars joke: What is the Rancor's favorite candy? Jawa breakers. | 0 | en |
Remember: no matter how bad your situation and how hopeless you feel there is always someone doing way better than you | 0 | en |
q : what's the difference between a duck? a : one of its legs is both the same . | 0 | en |
How did the jew lose his arms? He thought he saw a penny in a wood chipper | 1 | en |
What do you call a dog subbing for a music teacher? A subwoofer. | 1 | en |
I'm a traveling art collector, but not doing so well. I'm always in need of Monet to buy Degas to make the van Gogh | 1 | en |
Mistakes Everybody make mistakes, smart people put theirs up for adoption | 1 | en |
What does a Jew say before a microwave ? Good memories | 1 | en |
Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson? Because he'd already done the sharps and flats. | 1 | en |
What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon! | 1 | en |
What literary devices do butchers use? Meataphors. | 1 | en |
why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon? because it was full . | 0 | en |
I have one way to know if a woman is a keeper. She doesn't call the police afterwards. | 1 | en |
what do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after? a one night stand with jesus | 1 | en |
I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but. I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong | 1 | en |
a man is incomplete until he is married. after that he's finished | 1 | en |
why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed? they saw the salad dressing ! | 1 | en |
What's the difference between a military base and a school? I know, but a U.S drone doesn't. | 1 | en |
A boat builder is proudly showing his young Son the family forest. He turns to him and says.. Son, one day all this will be oars. | 0 | en |
"Hey man, the hot girl from class winked at me today!" "Really, bro? " "Yeah, with both eyes too!" | 0 | en |
My dad fought in World War II. I just received an email confirming my order of a maroon cardigan sweater | 0 | en |
I asked Siri why I was still single, She turned on the front camera. | 0 | en |
Why did Negan watch Arrested Development? Someone told him there were two Lucilles | 1 | en |
How do you disappoint a redditor? Just say "Ifunny is better than reddit" | 1 | en |
How does Robin Williams go thrift shopping? Good Will Hunting | 0 | en |
What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common? Thier last big hit was The Wall | 0 | en |
Why did peasants hate knights' outfits? Because everyone hates chain mail. | 1 | en |
what did the apple say to the apple pie? " you've got some crust . " | 1 | en |
I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance. | 0 | en |
A Bitter Cold Day Q: What does a bull do on a bitter cold winter day? ... A: He goes into the barn and slips inside a warm Jersey | 0 | en |
How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese? Caerphilly. | 1 | en |
tell me a joke. make me laugh i need to hear a joke make me laugh please | 0 | en |
Reporter: Sir, how do view lesbian Relationships.? .. Me: Full HD. | 1 | en |
You may think it's a good idea to go to weight watchers to meet women. but actually the ones there are quite hard to pick up | 1 | en |
Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels? Because the cons outweighed the prose. | 1 | en |
weather channel i taped a weather channel logo on our living room window. it's like having an extra tv | 1 | en |
wife : how much did it cost to rent that bouncy castle? me : i dunno . buying it wasn't cheap tho | 0 | en |
why did the bass player miss his second lesson? he had a gig that night . | 1 | en |
I only learned recently that children are born with four kidneys, and later on when they grow up.. ..two of them turn into adult knees. | 0 | en |
It was so cold out today. I saw a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets | 1 | en |
I renamed my iPod to Titanic. it's syncing now | 0 | en |
Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks... Luke: are we on track? Yoda: off course, we are. | 0 | en |
Have you ever been in the middle east when it rains? It rains everyday | 0 | en |
Next time you're in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases. | 0 | en |
have you ever gotten shampoo in your mouth while singing in the shower? turns into a real soap opera . | 1 | en |
I returned some shorts to Walmart and bought a pizza, with the credit I had received, to share with my wife. She kinda ate my shorts | 0 | en |
Life without geometry. is pointless | 0 | en |
I wanted to move a statue of a god But it remained idle. | 0 | en |
Q: What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age? A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's" | 0 | en |
Have you seen www.needleinahaystack.com? Yes but it took ages to find. | 0 | en |
Whenever two people argue over something, yell out "OBJECTION" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like. | 1 | en |
Why did the landscaper get fired? He kept dropping his plants in public! | 1 | en |
Congratulations, parents! The names yelled at dog parks are now less weird than the names yelled at playgrounds. | 1 | en |
new study shows that birthdays are good for your health statistics show that people who have more birthdays, live the longest ! | 0 | en |
No one wants to feel like an obligation. Either commit to them or leave | 0 | en |
Apple announces iPhone bug that allows it to be hacked with a single click, in a 'more intuitive and natural way than an Android bug'. | 1 | en |
what do cars and humans have in common? we both burn gas . | 1 | en |
travel tip: when you are alone in a hotel room with two beds , that means one bed is for eating on and one bed is for sleeping on . | 1 | en |
how do you stop an elephant from charging? take away its usb cable . | 0 | en |
life is not fair , but life is not fair for everyone. that makes life fair | 0 | en |
What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? You get salmonella | 1 | en |
Why is the forest so noisy? The trees bark. | 1 | en |
I like my food like I like my races Separated | 1 | en |
If zodiac signs may turn into real people Cancer would be the only bald one out there | 1 | en |
Why can't deer get marred? Because they can't elope | 1 | en |
When the river runs red. Take the dirt road | 0 | en |
A man fell into an upholstery machine. He's fully recovered. | 0 | en |
What is the siilarity between a man and a cartridge. If it doesn't work you need to blow it. | 0 | en |
Will Smith got lost in the snow They found him by following the Fresh Prints | 0 | en |
Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon? A: A vacant posession. | 0 | en |
people act so tough on twitter. i'd bet that half of you have never even killed a man | 0 | en |
Why didn't the Chevy Nova sell well in Mexico? Because it was a no go. | 1 | en |
What's a good motto for a sewage treatment plant? Our duty is clear. Credit: Futurama | 1 | en |
why does Santa need so many elfs because he needs something to bring him pleasure when miss.clause is a sleep | 0 | en |
why did the hipster burn his mustache on his coffee? threedots he was totally drinking it before it was cool . | 0 | en |
Ever been half way through eating a horse and start to think. I wasnt as hungry as I thought | 0 | en |
Where do cats go on vacation? Maui. | 1 | en |
What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast? Apple Jacks | 0 | en |
Why did the janitor get fired from the bank? Because he cleaned out the vault. | 1 | en |
mountains are funny. they're hill areas | 1 | en |
what does a cat say when it lands on it's back? me . ow . | 0 | en |
Here's my impression of an astronomer discovering that an asteroid is coming to destroy earth: "This will make me famous but not for long" | 1 | en |
During lunch I asked my food server which salad she preferred. She said, "Either one! They're both amazeballs!" I got a hamburger | 1 | en |
what did the starving , homeless couple say to the nurse outside the abortion clinic? fetus please . | 1 | en |
your life doesn't get better by chance. it gets better by choice | 0 | en |
What's the brightest airship ever made? LED Zeppelin | 0 | en |
What's the difference between Hitler and Americans? Hitler knew how to use an oven. | 1 | en |
q : what's a blonde's favorite color? a : a light shade of clear . | 0 | en |
In America they have stand up comedy. In the Balkans we have Sit Down Tragedy | 1 | en |
What do you call an alligator with a vest on? ... ...an investigator. | 1 | en |
I just changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic" and plugged it in. It's syncing now | 0 | en |
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