text
string | humour_label
int64 | language
string |
|---|---|---|
What do you say when only the egg remains? It's all ovum now | 1 | en |
Timmy was sad because he dropped his ice cream In juvenile detention. | 1 | en |
I should start a pizza place called original pizza, abreviated OP and it will only have take out. OP will not deliver | 0 | en |
why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken . | 1 | en |
Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means. | 0 | en |
What language do farsighted people speak? Farsi. | 1 | en |
Guns don't avoid critical thinking by leaning on tired aphorisms. People do | 1 | en |
what's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? you can unscrew a lightbulb . | 0 | en |
not all jobs can have 'bad apples' especially american airlines the last time they had one he crashed into the trade center | 1 | en |
what's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl? the washing machine doesn't get upset if i dump a load in it and never call back | 1 | en |
why do the best swimmers come from flint , michigan? because they're always in the lead . | 1 | en |
what do porsche and apple have in common? new product , same design . | 1 | en |
I am a man and I completely understand women . . . . . . | 1 | en |
The death of my family member is hard to take in Especially when you run out of rolling paper. | 1 | en |
what do a woman and a grenade have in common? pull off the ring and the house is gone . | 0 | en |
What do you call a furry that likes to be on the bottom in bed? A subwoofer | 0 | en |
Why are american schools so good at marketing? They always hit the target audience | 1 | en |
what's the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job? one's a crusty bus station , the other's a busty crustacean . | 1 | en |
What do Asgardians use to keep food hot? A Thormos. | 1 | en |
The registration fee to the Boston marathon was high... It cost me an arm and a leg. | 0 | en |
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Arghhagghh!" | 1 | en |
sign posted in a bathroom: we aim to please ! you aim too ! please ! | 0 | en |
haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in | 1 | en |
elmo jokw What does every Elmo receive before they leave the factory? Two test tickles! | 0 | en |
I don't know which is stranger: That the cat buried a mouse's body in the yard, or that the service was attended by dozens of mice in suits. | 1 | en |
Teacher: What should you do when someone opens fire at you? Blonde: Use a FIRE extinguisher? | 1 | en |
What did the egg say to the frying pan? It might take me a little while to get hard. I was just laid last night. | 1 | en |
i lost my wife a year ago today. sadly , within four days i won her back | 0 | en |
Stan Lee That man knows how to promote a movie | 1 | en |
my neighbors son asked me to explain women to him. so i bought him an xbox game for his playstation | 1 | en |
Whats the difference between Kobe Bryant and Juice WRLD? Kobe's death crashed the internet into pieces. | 0 | en |
How does a skeleton call her friends? On a telebone. | 1 | en |
they say the human imagination is infinite. try to imagine a new color | 0 | en |
what does a widow say when she wakes up? mourning | 1 | en |
If a poison expires, Will it be more poisonous or less poisonous? | 1 | en |
why was the couch afraid of the chair? the chair was armed . | 0 | en |
what did the constipated mathematician do? he worked his problems out with a pencil and paper . | 1 | en |
why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? in case he got a hole in one . | 1 | en |
Why did the banker like the TV show? Because he was invested in the story. | 1 | en |
what did the bus conductor say to the frog? hop on . | 0 | en |
What's the difference between an egg and Elliot Rodger? An egg gets laid before it cracks. | 0 | en |
My friend's handwriting was so bad, no one in my German class could read it... He said, "Of course not, it wasn't written in German." | 1 | en |
People think it's weird why I don't play with baby's But I was always told as a kid not to play with my food. | 1 | en |
A dark joke is like food Not many people get it. | 1 | en |
Stand way over there and let me tell you a funny fairytale. Once upon a time I ate all of your Halloween candy this morning | 0 | en |
No Grandma, an iPad is not a new brand of Maxi Pads | 0 | en |
for what it's worth, i'd like to exchange some foreign currency . | 1 | en |
starting a new job today. i'm not sure what company , but it's wherever this lady with the giant box of donuts is going | 1 | en |
My sister got upset that I washed our puppy with my own, human shampoo. I reassured her it had already been tested on dogs | 1 | en |
if you're wondering about who the oldest james bond was, don't google ' old man bond age ' | 0 | en |
Why do people throw coins into foutains? Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents. | 1 | en |
if a " cougar " is an older woman who is into younger men , what do you call an older woman who is into younger women? a gym teacher | 1 | en |
I was dating an analog synthesizer But I had to break it off. She was just continuously variable | 1 | en |
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. except when you're at a funeral | 1 | en |
A strange sense of humor. Surprisingly, but the long walks on the moor very breathtakingly | 1 | en |
i've decided to take the day off today. from now on it will simply be known as ' to ' | 1 | en |
What to you call a conscious wolf? Aware wolf. | 1 | en |
What is a Jew's favorite Mexican food? Carne Masada | 0 | en |
why did the chicken get an ouija board? to contact those who had crossed over to the other side . | 1 | en |
You know how the say movies are like world wars.. The sequel is always worse | 0 | en |
Tingly feeling You know that nice tingly feeling you get when you're falling for someone? That's common sense leaving your body. | 1 | en |
clothes are just, human shaped blankets . | 1 | en |
what's the difference between hard and light? you can sleep with a light on . | 0 | en |
You know what gets me down? Gravity... | 0 | en |
My friend said he needed a new kid knee So I showed him my collection. He wasn't pleased. | 1 | en |
why doesn't santa have any children? ' cause he cums down the chimney | 0 | en |
q : what did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? a : make me one with everything . | 0 | en |
which computer is the best at singing? a dell . | 0 | en |
My new bucket really does its job well. My old one pails in comparison | 1 | en |
Why did Jon Snow become a spokesman for Rolex? For the time piece. | 1 | en |
What do you call a sugary werewolf? a glycan | 1 | en |
What be a pirate's favorite letter? Ayy, you think it be "r" but it really be the "c". | 0 | en |
Complex numbers are all fun and games... Until someone loses an i. That's when things get real. | 1 | en |
I've had intimate problems all my life. I just can't get close to someone without feeling insecure. You said internet problems? Nevermind. | 0 | en |
what do you call an expert at making ship parts? a master master . | 1 | en |
how do senior citizens handle indoor skydiving? depends | 1 | en |
I don't believe in natural selection, If it were so, the Jews would have survived the showers. | 1 | en |
my girlfriend cried the day i proposed to her on an escalator. it was moving | 1 | en |
I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris. But it turns out that idea was already taken | 1 | en |
Whats long, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus full of kids in a lake | 0 | en |
Have you seen www.quicksand.com? Yes but it hasn't sunk in yet. | 0 | en |
" it's our third date and you still wear that shirt? " honey , this all they have in prison . | 0 | en |
Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows | 1 | en |
What kind of juice do you get in camps? The concentrated kind. | 1 | en |
why do women love chocolate? because it's the only time ' rich ' and ' dark ' are used to describe the same thing . | 1 | en |
what did the australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal? check , mate . | 1 | en |
why couldn't the butter quit his gambling addiction? he was on a roll ! | 0 | en |
I love my ribcage. It is very close to my heart | 0 | en |
In America If you ask directions to a shooting range they will just point to the nearest school | 1 | en |
the music composer at my school is suffering from cancer. he's in the hospital being fed through a tuba | 1 | en |
my dad just came first in a drag race. i had no idea a man could run so fast in a cocktail dress and high heels ! | 0 | en |
Why are Reddit jokes so overused? I don't know, ask Dave. | 0 | en |
what's the most common sleeping position of a man? around . | 1 | en |
explaining puns to kleptomaniacs is hard because they often take things, literally . | 1 | en |
An apple a day keeps the doctor At least if u throw hard enough | 0 | en |
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July. | 1 | en |
Anyone want to buy a dead budgie? It's not going cheep. | 0 | en |
" lord , can i have a pony? " sure . just as soon as i get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it . | 0 | en |
What did the flat iron say to the follicle? Now let me get this straight . . . | 0 | en |
I made a Wooden Engine. Everyone was shocked to see that it wood work | 1 | en |
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