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nearly everything good. Further, I owe it to the gods that I was not
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hurried into any offence against any of them, though I had a disposition
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which, if opportunity had offered, might have led me to do something
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of this kind; but, through their favour, there never was such a concurrence
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of circumstances as put me to the trial. Further, I am thankful to
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the gods that I was not longer brought up with my grandfather's concubine,
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and that I preserved the flower of my youth, and that I did not make
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proof of my virility before the proper season, but even deferred the
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time; that I was subjected to a ruler and a father who was able to
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take away all pride from me, and to bring me to the knowledge that
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it is possible for a man to live in a palace without wanting either
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guards or embroidered dresses, or torches and statues, and such-like
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show; but that it is in such a man's power to bring himself very near
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to the fashion of a private person, without being for this reason
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either meaner in thought, or more remiss in action, with respect to
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the things which must be done for the public interest in a manner
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that befits a ruler. I thank the gods for giving me such a brother,
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who was able by his moral character to rouse me to vigilance over
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myself, and who, at the same time, pleased me by his respect and affection;
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that my children have not been stupid nor deformed in body; that I
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did not make more proficiency in rhetoric, poetry, and the other studies,
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in which I should perhaps have been completely engaged, if I had seen
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that I was making progress in them; that I made haste to place those
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who brought me up in the station of honour, which they seemed to desire,
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without putting them off with hope of my doing it some time after,
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because they were then still young; that I knew Apollonius, Rusticus,
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Maximus; that I received clear and frequent impressions about living
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according to nature, and what kind of a life that is, so that, so
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far as depended on the gods, and their gifts, and help, and inspirations,
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nothing hindered me from forthwith living according to nature, though
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I still fall short of it through my own fault, and through not observing
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the admonitions of the gods, and, I may almost say, their direct instructions;
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that my body has held out so long in such a kind of life; that I never
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touched either Benedicta or Theodotus, and that, after having fallen
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into amatory passions, I was cured; and, though I was often out of
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humour with Rusticus, I never did anything of which I had occasion
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to repent; that, though it was my mother's fate to die young, she
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spent the last years of her life with me; that, whenever I wished
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to help any man in his need, or on any other occasion, I was never
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told that I had not the means of doing it; and that to myself the
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same necessity never happened, to receive anything from another; that
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I have such a wife, so obedient, and so affectionate, and so simple;
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that I had abundance of good masters for my children; and that remedies
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have been shown to me by dreams, both others, and against bloodspitting
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and giddiness...; and that, when I had an inclination to philosophy,
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I did not fall into the hands of any sophist, and that I did not waste
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my time on writers of histories, or in the resolution of syllogisms,
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or occupy myself about the investigation of appearances in the heavens;
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for all these things require the help of the gods and fortune.
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Among the Quadi at the Granua.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
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BOOK TWO
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Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busy-body,
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the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these
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things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good
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and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful,
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and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong,
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that it is akin to me, not only of the same blood or seed, but that
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it participates in the same intelligence and the same portion of the
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divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can
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fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate
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him, For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like
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eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against
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one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one
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another to be vexed and to turn away.
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Whatever this is that I am, it is a little flesh and breath, and the
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ruling part. Throw away thy books; no longer distract thyself: it
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is not allowed; but as if thou wast now dying, despise the flesh;
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it is blood and bones and a network, a contexture of nerves, veins,
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and arteries. See the breath also, what kind of a thing it is, air,
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and not always the same, but every moment sent out and again sucked
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in. The third then is the ruling part: consider thus: Thou art an
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old man; no longer let this be a slave, no longer be pulled by the
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strings like a puppet to unsocial movements, no longer either be dissatisfied
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with thy present lot, or shrink from the future.
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All that is from the gods is full of Providence. That which is from
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fortune is not separated from nature or without an interweaving and
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involution with the things which are ordered by Providence. From thence
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all things flow; and there is besides necessity, and that which is
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for the advantage of the whole universe, of which thou art a part.
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But that is good for every part of nature which the nature of the
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whole brings, and what serves to maintain this nature. Now the universe
|
is preserved, as by the changes of the elements so by the changes
|
of things compounded of the elements. Let these principles be enough
|
for thee, let them always be fixed opinions. But cast away the thirst
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after books, that thou mayest not die murmuring, but cheerfully, truly,
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and from thy heart thankful to the gods.
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Remember how long thou hast been putting off these things, and how
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often thou hast received an opportunity from the gods, and yet dost
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not use it. Thou must now at last perceive of what universe thou art
|
a part, and of what administrator of the universe thy existence is
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an efflux, and that a limit of time is fixed for thee, which if thou
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dost not use for clearing away the clouds from thy mind, it will go
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