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Her: Yes, and black coffee without sugar and milk
Her: You? Coffee or tea?
| ||
Student: You look like my future ex wife 😏
Her: I will be if you don’t grow your hair long like your pic
Student: You’ve nothing to worry about there
Student: How’s your Sunday treating you?
Her: Oh that’s good
Her: I’m currently sat in a retail park cause I forgot Aldi doesn’t open till 11
Her: This may be rock bottom
Her: How about you?
Student: That’s pretty devastating, I can’t imagine the pain that must have caused you
Student: I’m just on my way to the gym
Her:Ah nice I went this morning, first time in a new gym was so scary 😭
Her: I joined pure gym, spent 12 mins in there. Walked out and signed up to JD gym straight after
Student: Wow why was that?
Her: Just so cramped and busy, I could touch the ceilings if I jumped and that freaks me out
Student: Sounds a little claustrophobic, I take it JD is like a warehouse then lol
Her: JD is huge
Her: How was your day?
Student: It’s been pretty chill, gym this morning, then did some uni work and just watched a film. You?
Her: Pretty much the same but instead of uni work been applying for jobs
Her: What do you do for uni?
Student: What’s the dream job? I’m doing a PGCE in primary with special needs
Her: Ideally would be a painter living in Italy but don’t think that will ever happen, i’m looking for a graphic design job but there’s so many applicants per job it’s impossible
Her: And that’s so cool! My brother is special needs
| That is the dream, I can be your muse | So far the conversation has been platonic with very little flirting or intent shown. This message adds a more playful vibe to the interaction that has been missing until now. It also implies that the student is someone who would inspire art. That is open to interpretation by the girl but usually means he is very physically attractive. |
Student: Oh right, how old is he?
Her: Hahahah sure you can
Her: He’s 15 and has cerebral palsy
Her: Funniest person ever, has no filter
| You can do my portrait on our date | This message is great for moving the interaction forward. It prevents the risk of the conversation going nowhere. Using something they have talked about on the dating app and they should explore it together on their date is a very easy way to get onto the topic of the in-person meet up. |
Student: He’s a little older than I work with but I definitely know a few like him 😂
Her: 😂 When should our date be?
Her: Hahaha yeah he really is something, he once told a woman she stank in the shop and I immediately had to remove him. I was mortified
| When are you typically free? | This works well as he is asking her when she is free instead of suggesting days on which they can meet up. This reduces the risk of her flaking on the date. |
Student: Hey, another runner? Love that
Her: Yeah
Her: 5k personal record?
Her: I only chat to athletes
Her: hope u understand
Student: 19:44 you?
Her: Omggggg
Her: That’s impressive
Her: 24:35
Student: Thanks haha yours isn’t a bad time either. Done anything further than 5k?
Her: Gracias gracias
Her: Every now and then I’d do a 10k
| Nice, I like a girl who looks after her physical health. Where are you from originally? | This message is a very simple way to switch up the conversation if one thread is going dry. It works well on girls who look ethnically diverse or ambiguous. It works on this girl as she had a Spanish flag in her bio and she spoke Spanish during the interaction. |
Her: Oh yeh :) I’m always active
Her: I’m from Barcelona
Her: Moved here 4 years ago
Her: Wbu? Where is your name from?
| Ah so you have that sexy Spanish accent then 😏 | This message works well on almost anyone. It can be used to compliment someone on their accent or can be used to tease someone who has a typically unsexy accent. |
Her: Haha I’m not going to say no to that
Student: Glad to hear that ;) so give me the basics. Any kids? Tattoos? Fun kinks? Crazy hobbies?
Her: No kids that I know of, neither tattoos
Her: I’ve been tempted to get one tattoo on my bum though
Her: In Spanish we’ve got a saying ‘tener una flor en el culo’ to say someone is very lucky. It means ‘you’ve got a flower on the ass’ and I consider myself a very lucky person
Her: Ermm dancing most of the time, running a bit too, going climbing every now and then and gym when possible. I can’t stand still
Her: And as a hobby I’ll say that I love people watching, I get too involved hahaha
Her: Wbu?
Her: Haha happy to teach you Spanish. Do you know the basics?
Student: Did it for a couple of years in high school and downloaded an app in lockdown lol
Student: Do you like wine btw?
Her: Sure, I’m free tomorrow evening if you wanna go for wine
Student: Tomorrow works for me. Shoot me your number and we’ll sort it out
Her: (phone number)
Student: Texted
| A flower on your ass, I like that lol you’ll gave to teach me more Spanish on our romantic dateHey, it (student’s name) from the thing | This is a good first message to send someone if you got their number from a dating app. It is funny and a good way to start conversation. |
Her: Hey, 7pm at (venue)? It’s a new wine bar I’ve been wanting to try 🙂
Student: Sounds good to me. Are we okay to push back to 8:300?
Her: Yep all good
Student: Great see you then
| Last night was fun” It is important, if you want to see the girl again, that you check in with her and get a second date set up as soon as possible. Another option for this message is “Last night was 🔥” or “I had a good time last night | It is important, if you want to see the girl again, that you check in with her and get a second date set up as soon as possible. Another option for this message is “Last night was 🔥 |
Student: You look like my future ex wife 😏
Her: How strange I was thinking you look like my next future mistake 👀
| We must have similarly bad taste | This message works here as it builds on the joke from the previous messages. It also uses the ‘we frame’ which allows the girl to imagine them together or having something in common. |
Her: Great minds think alike and all of that
Student: Exactly, how’s your Friday treating you?
Her: Well Alfred I’ve not long got in from a couple of drinks, I’ve had worse fridays, what about yourself?
Student: Alfred? Getting familiar fast 😏 my Friday was great, went out with some friends for St Patrick’s. Was that the end of your night?
Her: Absolutely, do you like Alfred? Hahaha I like calling people different versions of their name. Oooo nice where did you all go? Are you feeling fragile today then? it was, well I actually went on a date but we didn’t vibe so it lasted an hour and a half 👀
Student: No one calls me Alfred but I don’t hate it. Not too bad tbh, I’m one of those annoying people that doesn’t get hungover.
| Had the same thing happen to me last week. Our date will be better though | This message does a few things. First, it shows that you date women regularly and are selective with whom you pursue. Second, it shows that you are unaffected by the fact that she goes on dates with other men and not the jealous/ butthurt type. Third, it seeds the idea of a date and the two of you meeting up in person. The vibe has been good, there has been some light teasing and she is sending long paragraphs which shows her level of investment is high so it was a good time to begin seeding the date. |
Her: I like it, what time did you get in last night? Was it late? Oh god yep I don’t know how you people exist, do you drink loads as well?
Her: Nightmare, yes was a bit awkward. I was just waffling on to make it less so 🤣 will it now? Are you sure about that?
Her: Are you a little bit silly or no?
| Positive. Define silly | This message works here as she asked too many questions to answer and the conversation still be easy to follow. This message cuts out a lot of the sidetracks it would be easy to go down. It is short, succinct and communicates confidence as he is ‘positive’ their date will go well. |
Her: You know like funny, a bit weird don’t take things too seriously kind of thing? I’ve said it and it’s hard to define but I know what I mean 👀 🙄
| I definitely don’t take things too seriously, hoping you don’t either | This message indicates that you are selective in who you spend time with, which is a high value trait. |
Her: That’s good news, no i don’t either
| We should test this out in person | The aim of this message is to begin moving towards the number close. The vibe has been good so far, there has been some light flirting, she has qualified herself and she has been sending long messages which shows she is invested so it is time to begin babystepping towards the close. |
Student: Hey I like your style (her name) 👌
Her: Hey! Thank you, I like yours too!
Student: I wonder how well our styles would mix
Her: I think they’d mix quite well together ;)
| Smooth (her name) 😉 I guess there’s only one way to find out | The aim of this message is to hint at the in-person meet up without explicitly talking about it. It would be too early in the interaction for that. They need to get to know each other a little more first. |
Her: What can I say 💁🏼♀️
Her: I guess there is
Student: How’s your Tuesday treating you?
Her: Fairly chilled so far! Heading to work soon though :( how about you?
| Sounds good, what do you do for work? I’m on day 2 of an intense couple of weeks of essay writing. Managed to get to the gym this morning though | When a girl asks about your day or what you have been doing, it is always good to throw some DHV’s in there. This can be anything from working hard, exercising, doing a hobby that sounds cool or you enjoy. |
Her: I work in a clinic and then also do photography part time. Oh nice, are you at uni?
Her: Productive morning by the sounds of it
Student: Was going to say you looked too arty to only work in a clinic. What’s your favorite thing to take photos of? I am at uni
Her: Haha why thank you! I do a lot of fashion photography or weddings
Her: Oo nice what do you study? Are you in your final year?
Student: That makes sense, I’m definitely getting fashionista vibes from you
Student: Doing a teaching qualification specializing in special needs
Her: I do try hahaha
Her: Oh wow. That’s amazing!
Her: Are you enjoying it?
Student: I am, it’s challenging and the kids can be little shits sometimes but they often end up being your favorite lol
Student: So give me the basics. Any kids? Tattoos? Fun kinks? Crazy hobbies?
Her: Oh I can imagine! Must be so rewarding though, it’s the same with the clinic. It’s challenging but it’s always worth it
Her: Hahaha no children, I have a few tattoos
Her: I play guitar and piano poorly
Her: How about you?
Student: Exactly, what do you do at the clinic?
Student: You play guitar? That’s a green flag lol We should have a jam sometime soon This is a very simple method of seeding the date. The concept is to find something you have in common with the girl and suggest that you do it together.
Her: I manage mainly but it’s a lot of sitting in scan rooms and filling out reports, going through what’s seen on the scan
Her: I do hahaha but I’m not the best hahaha We should!! That would be fun
| I’ll be the judge of that 😉 you like wine? | This message puts the student into a position of dominance as he is confidently better at something than she is so he will judge her on the day of the date. This forces the girl to qualify herself. This also begins the closing sequence that leads to getting the girl’s number. |
Her: Hahaha that’s fair enough ;) and I do yet!
Student: We should split a bottle sometime soon
Her: What kind of wine are we talking
Student: Depends, you a red or white kind of girl?
Her: White for sure hahaha
| Oh maybe this won’t work after all (her name) 😉 | This is a great way to flirt. By pushing her away a little you make her want to chase you. It is usually a technique that women use on men but it is very effective the other way around. |
Student: Hey soo.. I guess we’re dating now..?
Her: I don’t think that’s how it works lol 😅
Student: I should probably figure out if you’re crazy or trouble or something first right?
Her: I’m not crazy or trouble, I’m nice 😊
Her: But you know what I think 🤔
Student: In that case looks like we might get along after all
| What’s that?”. With his two messages he's pedestalize her by complimenting her twice. It’s okay to compliment a girl and it was good to say “you seem like | . With his two messages he's pedestalize her by complimenting her twice. It’s okay to compliment a girl and it was good to say “you seem like |
Her: You damn right I am 😅😅but I think you cute
| Careful, compliments like that might get yo a romantic date 😉 | This way you get to seed the date without her having to commit to anything. After all, the purpose of being on a dating app is to meet up with the people you match with. This is important to keep in mind when texting. |
Student: You look like a girl who loves coffee
Her: Nope 👎
Her: I…sir…dislike coffee very much
Her: And who said you were handsome 😏
Her: 😅😅
| a white girl who doesn’t like coffee? You’re full of surprises” or “A physics major who doesn’t like coffee? You do surprise mecute/ handsome. Tomato/ tomato 😉 How’s your weekend? | or “A physics major who doesn’t like coffee? You do surprise me |
Student: Hey, Ronald Regan of Long Beach
Her: Hey
| You seem like a gym rat | as it is shorter and matches her energy and investment level more accurately. |
Her: Give me till next year
| no ice cream, no alcohol. Training for the olympics or something | as it gets the same point across but in half the number of words. |
Her: No lol I'm doing this for myself
Student: What are you doing Friday? This attempt at closing came much too soon and was too abrupt. Even if you meet in person and get the number, it is still best to have a small amount of banter over text before closing on the date.
Her: I work Friday night at 8pm
Student: I can do Sunday evening but if you can't do it then I have next
Her: My off days are Tuesday
Student: Yikes. I'm busy during the week.
Her: Ok well if you want to get to know me you'll make time if not that's fine
Student: I get out of class early on Tuesday but I have to study for a little bit because I have exams coming up. I'm free after 8:00 PM.
Her: Do you know that you are texting me from your email address
| Gotta make sure you’re not crazy or something before i give you my number 😉 | to inject so flirting into the conversation. |
Student: Someone’s adorable af
Her: thank you ;)
Student: I’m curious about something
Her: ?
Student: I’ll share but first I need to ask if you’re open minded
Her: yes i am
Student: Do men realize that you’re quite submissive to the right kind of dominant man?
Her: I think so
Student: Ever been with one?
Her: No
| We should change that | The aim of this message is to begin seeding the idea of a future meet up. The implication is that the student is dominant and she should meet up with him. |
Her: ;)
Her: I’m a virgin by the way
| That doesn’t worry me. I know what I’m doing. You’re in good safe hands | This message is effective in making the student come across as confident and experienced in the bedroom. The purpose of this is to make her feel more at ease with the concept of having sex with him. It is deliberately short and to the point. |
Her: Well you’re hella cute ain’t ya
| I bet you use that line on all the cute guys 😉 | This is a good line to use if the girl messages you first. It was in response to pretty much anything but it is most effective when she compliments you. |
Her: Ye I do actually
| Smooth 😏” This message is a good follow up to most things girls will respond to the “I bet you use that line on all the cute guys 😉 | This message is a good follow up to most things girls will respond to the “I bet you use that line on all the cute guys 😉 |
Student: How’s your new years day treating you?
| That good huh?” This is a good message to send if you ask a girl something, ask her how her day is or about an event she attended because it implies that she was having so much fun at the event that she forgot to text you, not that she ghosted or couldn't be bothered replying. Another good message to send here would be “looks like you forgot to press send lol” or “mic check..1..2 | This is a good message to send if you ask a girl something, ask her how her day is or about an event she attended because it implies that she was having so much fun at the event that she forgot to text you, not that she ghosted or couldn't be bothered replying. Another good message to send here would be “looks like you forgot to press send lol |
Her: Ye was good thanks sorry it’s been a busy start to the year
Her: Did you celebrate well?
Student: Nw. I did, New Year’s Day was spent on the couch watching films with all me christmas chocolate lol
Her: Sounds delightful and sounds like my day today tbh
Student: Sounds great
Student: So tell me what do you do for fun?
Her: I run, play hockey, paint and crochet. Other than that I’m hella dull
| Hella dull? That's going to be your name in my contacts lol | The aim of this message is to tease a little but also to seed the idea of a future meet up by suggesting that she will give him her number without directly asking for it because the vibe is not right to do so yet. |
Her: It’s a good name don’t ya think?
Student: Suits you lol you run? I’ve been looking for a running partner
Her: Ye a little, broke my wrist a few weeks ago and I know it was my wrist but I’ve not done a lot recently so trying to get back into it all.
| It’s good, I can ease you back into it | The aim of this message is to subtly seed the idea of a future meet up and get her used to the idea of spending time with him. It also implies you are good at taking the leadership role and are better than her at something she wants to be good at. |
Her: Why how far do you normally go? You look super speedy
Student: I tend to do 20-30K a week, you?
Her: Omg nowhere near that much
Her: It has been a while tho, I’ll take new year new me very seriously this year
Student: Oh yeah, what are your resolutions this year?
Student: Also, you like wine btw?This is a good way to begin number closing the girl once the vibe in the conversation is good.
Her: Well get fit obvs and errr not get black out drunk
Her: What are yours
Her: Yes I do, red is my fav tho
Student: I want to get back into writing. Used to write short stories but have let it slip this past year
Student: Good choice, we should split a bottle sometime soon
Her: Oooo what about?!
Her: Maybe we should 🥴
Student: All sorts, most recent on was about a homeless man I got chatting to at the train stop
| You don’t sound confident | . Any time a girl gives a flaky answer or uses the word ‘maybe’ when you’re organizing plans, it is better to get a clear answer and find out if there is a reason she might flake on the date. Sometimes it means nothing, other times you uncover a problem that you must overcome to get her on the date. |
Her: Nice fur lol
| Thank u, but can you promise me not to steal it when we hang out and you get cold? | This message does well to seed the date in a playful way without requiring any commitment from the girl. It is a playful role play that allows her to imagine herself spending time with the student in person. |
Her: Absolutely not, ur dealing with a full kleptomaniac here
| We’ll see how persuasive you can be on our date ;)” or “depends how cute you are on our date, maybe I won’t be able to say no to you ;) | or “depends how cute you are on our date, maybe I won’t be able to say no to you ;) |
Her: Ugh well if ur gonna let me steal it that takes all the fun away. I’ll just wear it when I’m cold and wanna feel fabulous
Student: Well just have to fight over it, u got hands?
Her: Def not lol u would pin me down 🙃
Student: U sound like my type of girl ;) are u submissive? The idea of this message is to play with the sexual undertones of her last message and take it down a more sexual route.
Her: Mm maybe a lil bit ;)
| Mm interesting, so can I propose something? | The aim of this message is to make her intrigued and think about potential dates with you. |
Her: Let’s hear it
| We should chill and vibe out to some music sometime | Here the student is proposing a very simple date idea. It is better to keep the first date as simple as possible. Keep it to drinks, coffee, hanging out at your place or a walk. |
Her: Hellp Amor lol not you naming yourself that in my phone lol. Its (her name) your fellow Leo, unless you forgot haha have a goodnight and get to sleep safely!
Her: Honestly we did vibe! Lol
Her: How did the rest of your night go?
Student: I practiced my dance moves with friends I made earlier and drank water to sober up from helping you drink but still made it home in one piece.
Her: Aww how fun! Did you like the drink? And glad you made it home safe!
| hey (her name) I couldn’t forget the cute, curvy teacher I vibed so well withThe drink was great, we should have another sometime where it’s not super loud lol | just to make it more succinct and flow better. So far the vibe has been good and it has been established that she remembers him very well from the previous night and had a good time. Now it makes sense to move towards the close while the vibe is good and she is invested. |
Her: I’d love that actually! And yeah, it was super loud in there. I could barely hear you lol
Student: When are you typically free?
Her: I’m usually always free on weekends 🙂
Student: Let’s do Friday, say 6:30 pm?
Her: I don't live in (location) so I won’t be able to do 6:30 lol
| No worries, what time works for you? Btw I know you live 3 hours away so we can meet in the middle | The aim of this message is to establish logistics to make it easier to set up the date. |
Her: I’m soooo sorry. I forgot Friday is my mom’s birthday! Can you do any other day on the weekend?
Student: No worries, family first. No, I’m booked up for the rest of the weekend. Maybe we can set something up for next weekend.
Her: Yes! I’m completely free next weekend 🙂
| Ok bet, but we should have a quick call sometime this week before we hang out, down with that? | It can be helpful to set up a phone call with a girl before your date. Phone calls can be great for building comfort and connection with the girl. You can also vibe and flirt using your voice in ways that cannot be done over text. |
Student: So I guess we’re dating now?... Not sure how this works
Her: Yes that’s how it is. Think you can meet my parents in November, and we’ll get engaged in December!
| That’s cool, but please don’t tell me we have to do the matching pajamas too | The aim of this message is to begin a fun role play in which they are already in a long term relationship. The purpose of this is to get her to imagine this scenario in her head, therefore, getting her used to the idea of spending time with him in real life, making a date more likely. It can also be good to set up fun role plays in your messaging because it sets you apart from the other boring questions and ‘get to know you’ talk that happens on most dating apps. |
Student: It’s always the discrete ones that are the most fun ;)
Student: how’s it going?
Her: Very well thank you ☺️
Her: Are you fun? You’re not discrete 😉
Student: Only one way to find out 😏 This message works to seed the date without the girl having to directly commit to it yet. It is a good way to get the girl to imagine spending time with you in person.
Her: Hm which way would that be? 😳
Student: an adventurous night of flirting and drinks to see how fun we make each other feel. And perhaps other exciting things if the vibe is right This is a great message to send when she asks what will happen on the date. In this case it is how she will find out if he is fun. It paints a picture of a classy date with sexual undertones, with a confident man.
Student: Don’t like the plan? This message is a good way to be persistent without being needy. It assumes that it isn’t him she doesn’t like, it was the plan she didn’t like.
Her: That’s a great plan ☺️
Student: Great. What area are you in btw? I’m in (location).
Her: (Location)
Her: Is it dangerous there?
Student: Ah not too far. It’s very safe, there’s a lot of kids walking around.
Her: Hmm idk
Her: I was aggressed there once
Her: Do you live alone or with roommates?
Student: Oh wow, I’m sorry that happened. I have roommates, It’s a really nice space
Her: Oh that’s unfortunate
Student: Why unfortunate? It’s a very big space and I still have a lot of privacy.
Her: I live alone and got used to privacy…
Her: Idk frankly speaking I can’t imagine being private with roommates 😂 and I want to be private lol
Student: Haha I understand that. Once you see my place you’ll understand what I mean. It’s 7 floors, I don’t see my roommates often at all lol This is a good message to allay her fears about a lack of privacy. She needs to feel safer and more secure in the knowledge that they won’t be heard or interrupted during their date.
Her: ok then
Her: You can invite me on a date 😂
Student: Lol great. Do you like wine? This message is a great way to start a closing sequence. Most women enjoy wine and, once she says ‘yes’ it’s an easy transition from there to invite her to split a bottle together.
Her: I do
Her: I like all good things
Student: Great then you’ll like me a lot 😉 This message is a good amount of cocky humor, implying that he is good and that she’ll like him since she mentions in her previous message that she likes good things.
Student: I’d like to take you to my favorite wine bar. We can have a drink there, flirt, and see where the night takes us. This continues the message from earlier as it maintains the idea of a classy date with sexual undertones, with a confident man.
Her: Wait just to make sure
Her: lol sorry I’m not coherent
Her: What’s your favorite wine bar?
Student: It’s called (venue)
Her: Ok I’d like to go there
Her: Hey what do you do?
Student: Like for work? I’m an engineering lead at a tech company. Wbu?
Her: I’m an analyst
Her: Ok lol I’m sorry I got dramatized by your neighborhood 😂
| No worries, you can make it up to me on our date 😉 | . |
They matched on Hinge. He commented on her photo. She mentioned in her profile that she is British. | Is the British accent fact or cap? | |
Student: Hey trouble
Her: Hey handsome
| Careful, cute compliments like that might just land you a date ;) | This message works to seed the date and set intention early in the conversation. It also sets the frame that she is chasing him as she is the one giving compliments. |
Her: I’m just stating the obvious haha
| & you obviously have a few of my weaknesses | This message baits the girl into asking more and continuing the conversation. |
Her: Oh yeah 😏 and what would those be?
| Cute & curvy, with a bit of a wild side. A sexy feminine energy which tells me there’s a fun submissive side to you for the right man 😉 | This message is complimentary towards the girl. It is vague so it could apply to anyone. When you send a vague message like this, you reduce the risk of her responding negatively to the message. It also implies that he is the right man to bring out her submissive side. |
Her: Lol guess we’ll have to find out
| Mhm, I even have a plan | This message baits the girl into asking more and continuing the conversation. |
Her: Do tell
Student: Say please 😏This message requires the girl to give consent. It also has sexual undertones and is effective because of the sexual vibe set up in the previous messages.
Her: Plzzz
| Me & you splitting a bottle of wine. Talk about our passions while making deep eye contact.. If things get spicy I bend you over, grab a fistful of your hair, &... | This message is effective as it shows that he is confident when on a date. It could also be taken to mean he is looking for a ONS but also implies he is looking for a connection with her. |
Her: Sounds very intriguing
| Oh yea? Are you a wine drinker ;) | This message begins the closing sequence |
Her: I’m not much of a drinker lol I rather smoke but if I do drink just don’t mind my funny faces lmao
| I smoke once in a blue moon but I’m down. We should smoke sometime soon | It is important that he says ‘sometime soon’ in this message as it could be inferred as meeting anytime from right now, later that day or next week. |
Her: Hell yea, we should plan something out 😏
Her: Where do you live? Lol
Student: (location) You?
Her: I’m in (location)
Student: Not too far. What evenings are you free coming up this week, cutie
Her: Technically I got all evenings free haha I work early mornings and most days I’m out by 230pm
Her: I do be going to be around 9 tho
Student: Let’s do Monday evening, say 7 pm. Sound good?
Her: that might be a little too late for me since I need to be up by 3am Tuesday. Can we meet a bit earlier?
Student: Hm. Well what’s a night where you don’t have work early the following morning ;)
Her: Friday and Saturdays haha
Student: Perfect. Friday evening, say 7 pm then. Deal?
Her: Alright yes, that sounds good
Student: Great & is your place an option
Her: Definitely not lmao. I just moved back to my parents house
Her: And yours?
Student: It is, we just can’t smoke :/ maybe in my car 😏
Her: That’s fine by me 😜
| 👌 Shoot me your number | This message is important as the risk of flaking is reduced if she gives her phone number. |
Her: What’s up, buttercup? 💕
Student: Sup sexy starburst, how’s your Friday?
Her: Omg you’re cuuute. Starburst, I like this
Her: What’s good for your weekend?
| Gym, planning, reading, meal prepping, hang out with friends. Just missing a little bit of (her name) 😉 | This message provides a lot of subtle DHV’s: that he works out/ exercises, has hobbies, is educated, can cook and is social. |
Her: What are ya reading these days?
Her: 🤭 💕 okiii casanova
Student: Been reading Becoming Supernatural, about to starts The Alchemist
Student: Are you from here originally?
Her: Ooooooo love both
Her: Yeahhh.. Hbu
Her: Do you have audible? The narrators voice on alchemist is beautiful
Student: I bet
| Originally from the Philippines, moved to TX when I was 7-8, now I’m here for our romance | This is a good message to send if you have moved recently. Suggesting that you moved so you could pursue her is a playful way to express interest in her. |
Her: How dreammmmy
Her: Can you speak any other languages?
Student: Tagalog. Learning Spanish rn. You?
Her: Fun! Gujarati, a smattering of Spanish and learning Italian
| You’ll be whispering Gujarati on our date, I hope 😏 | This message works if the girl can speak different languages or has a different accent. It also seeds the date. |
Her: Only if you speak tagalog as we pretend to understand each other & confuse people watchers lmfao
Student: I like what I’m hearing. Sounds like we’re in for a good time
Her: 💜 💕
Student: ;) so what are you looking for on here, cutie
Her: Fun dates, whiskey lounges, tater tots. You?
| Adventurous I see. I’m just looking to meet a cool girl I have chemistry with. Great/ kinky sex & cuddles are a bonus. Open to more with the right girl. I’ve found things go better organically that way. | This message does a lot of different things. It implies that he can be picky with the women he dates. It opens a sexual dialogue. This message hints at the idea that he is looking for more than a ONS if she is the right kind of girl, implying that she must qualify herself if she is to meet his standards. |
Student: What about funny and not broke guys?
Her: Hmm… not my type
Her: But I might give it a shot
| Don’t worry I’m gonna change that for you! I just hope you have a few qualities I like too | This message is designed to get her to qualify herself in some way. |
Her: Okay great, I’m ready to be convinced. I think I do have some likable qualities
Her: And if not, I’ll just convince you also
Student: Good, I like the confidence. Do you like wine?
Her: Yes, how did you know??
Student: Because you seem like my type of girl of course ;) We should split a bottle of wine on my romantic patio sometime soon
Her: Ha, nice try
Her: Wine sounds good but we need to work on that location
| Lol! I’m just not a fan of the bars in Williamsburg. I have a few wine bare I’d love to take you to though if you’re feeling adventurous | Being adventurous is something most girls will see themselves as or will want to be and so, if you ask a girl if she is feeling adventurous, she is likely to agree with you. |
Student: Ever been to we got company? (Link to google maps)
Her: I haven’t but very willing to try
Student: Awesome, let’s go there. Free Wednesday at 7? Usually it is better to offer two days to meet up as she is less likely to respond negatively. Alternatively, you can ask her when she is free.
Her: Yes, you’re in luck. Wednesday at 7 works
Student: Lol guess I’ll go get a powerball ticket then 😉 Looking forward to it cutie. Drop me your number and I’ll send you a text.
Her: (Phone number)
Student: Hey, it’s Malik from Hinge
Her: So glad you clarified which Malik
Her: There are thousands of new Maliks texting me daily, it’s insane
Student: Damn that sounds amazing for you
Student: Luckily the best one is finally here to save the day. You normally a night owl?
Her: Yes, though I’m still a little jet lagged from Germany
Student: I see so what’s the story? Are you visiting or did you recently move here from Germany This message goes into the ‘get to know you’ stage and provides the girl with comfort and connection.
Her: I recently moved back here from Germany. I have already lived in New York for two years before that, but as an au pair
Student: Ah just in time for our romance, lovely. Are you still working as an au pair or have you found a new gig this time around? This message keeps the tone of the conversation light hearted and fun by implying that she moved there to pursue him romantically.
Her: Sorry, I was a little distracted today
Her: I’m not working as an au pair anymore, I’m here on a student visa
Student: That’s cool, looking forward to hearing more about that. Still good for tonight?
Her: Yes, still good. 7 still good?
Student:Yep 7 works perfect! Hope you survive all the Maliks texting you til then 😉
Her: I muted them for today. It’s a special day
Student: Absolutely
Student: Running a bit late, will be there close to 7:10
Her: Okay. Hopefully nobody is going to propose to me by then. I might be taken
Student: Prepared to tackle someone at the altar
Her: That’s hot
| Hey, I had fun last night | . It is a good idea to use some kind of callback humor that relates to the date. |
Student: You seem like the perfect mix of cute & trouble
Her: Called it 😂
Student: Cool. I’d know just how to handle you 😏 This kind of message with a sexual undertone can work well on some girls. It can be a good way to screen early on if the girl is DTF. However, this girl ghosts for a couple of days so he has to reopen her.
| Oh no, made (her name) shy. | This is one way, in this context, that works as a way to reopen. |
Her: More like threw me off
| I’m sure you appreciate a bit of forwardness | This message works because it is true, most girls do appreciate a man who is forward. |
Her: I do respect it yes
Student: Glad to hear
Student: Are you from here originally
Her: Yes I am
Her: Are you native to here too?
Student: I’m from Italy originally :) moved when I was young
Her: Wow that’s cool ☺️
| Lost the sexy accent unfortunately lol | This message is a great way to keep the ‘get to know you’ part of the conversation fun and flirty. |
Her: 😂
Student: So what are you looking for on here
Her: For friends
| You + me = more than friends 😏 | The aim of this message is to keep the conversation fun and also to pass her test as no one is on Tinder to meet friends. |
Her: Hello! How are you?
Student: Hey cutie ;) doing amazing just got out of the gym, hbu?
Her: I’m good thank you ☺️ how was the gym
| Glad to hear. It was great, not too packed. Looking nice and fit for our date” The aim of this message is to seed the date. After telling a girl you have done any from of exercise, you can seed the date by saying “Looking nice and fit for our date | The aim of this message is to seed the date. After telling a girl you have done any from of exercise, you can seed the date by saying “Looking nice and fit for our date |
Her: I see you’re good at giving massages 💆♀️
Student: I am! How do you feel about massages?
Her: I love massages 😍
Student: That’s good! Well perhaps I can give you one, but only on one condition. The aim of this message is to draw the girl in and get her curious about you.
Her: What’s the condition?
Her: That I lay in the splits whilst you do?
Student: Perhaps! As long as you can handle the side effects ;) This message has a sexual undertone and gives the girl the opportunity to interpret that as a sexual innuendo or be coy.
Her: Oh I think I can 🤣
| feeling spontaneous? | is a great way to get a girl to meet, especially if you want to meet her that day. Most girls like to think they are spontaneous so they will usually respond positively. |
Her: Hey 👋 what’s up?
Student: Hey Lucie. Just came back from a run with my dog. Tired him out and he’s passed out on the couch lol and you?
Her: A tired pup is the best pup
Her: Mine is passed out next to me too
Student: Are you stealing some cuddles from him/her while asleep
Her: Of course!
Her: One of the best parts of having a dog
Student: Good. Then I can trust your cuddling abilities. I’m a sucker for a good cuddle
Her: For sure
Her: But I have to tell you… I’m a little spoon hog. I never like taking my fair turn being the big spoon
Her: Should probably know that op front…
Student: With your height, I wouldn’t give you any other role to play.
| When you’re the small spoon, I’d wrap my arm around your waist and get you close to me while your booty warms me up when I hold you tight. Play with your hair and pull it to the side to kiss on the back of your neck | The aim of this message is to create and encourage the girl to imagine a scenario in which she is enjoying spending time with you. |
Her: Sounds like you definitely know how to cuddle
Her: I like that
| Pro cuddler for a reason ;) I’ll be sure to include that to our romantic date’s agenda as well. | This message keeps the conversation light hearted and fun while also seeding the date. |
Student: I like your style 👌
Her: Thank you ☺️ I like youre too 😉
Her: How’s your Sunday going?
| Fuckin amazing!! Just got back from the gym after a killer workout. Looking sharp for our date. You?” The aim of this message is to seed the date. After telling a girl you have done any form of exercise, you can seed the date by saying “Looking nice and fit for our date” or “looking sharp for our date | The aim of this message is to seed the date. After telling a girl you have done any form of exercise, you can seed the date by saying “Looking nice and fit for our date |
Her: Great 👏 🥰 I’m home, I started packing my things to move 🙌
Her: I decided to live alone, I can’t deal with roommates anymore
Her: I’m not lucky 🍀 haha 😆
| Haha we should celebrate your freedom sometime soon then ;) | This message seeds the date by using her moving as a reason to get together and celebrate. |
Student: Privet Tatyana
Her: Privet! Ti govorish po Rysski?
Student: No haha I dated a Russian last year. I could only learn and remember that word
Her: Hahahaha
Student: How is your wednesday going
Her: Working! You?
| Looking nice and fit for our date” or “looking sharp for our date | or “looking sharp for our date |
Her: Hahahahaha I am on my way to the gym!! 😂 😂 😂 😂 gonna make sure I am ready too 💪💪💪💪
| Look at us. Preparing for our romantic date we haven’t even organized yet | This message introduces the ‘we’ frame implying they are doing something together or have something in common. This is an effective flirting technique as it creates a sense of closeness which provides comfort to the girl. |
Her: Now I need to get my manicure, pedicure, hair done ✔️ Shave lol get something sexy to wear god dammit so much shit to do lol 😂
| Don’t worry. I’ll look sexy af and irresistible too. And I’ll be sure to pack extra charm in my pockets. | This message keeps the interaction light hearted and fun. |
Her: Hahahahahaha Deal
Student: Ever been to (venue)?
Her: Yes 🙌 love it
Student: That’s where we’ll have our romantic date then. Shoot me your number
Her: Hahahahah lol
| Interesting phone number | This message works well when you ask for the number and she refuses but in a playful way. |
Her: Do you have Instagram? Mine is (girl’s instagram)
| I deleted my instagram last month to focus on my business. Too much distraction. We can do phone number | The number is better to get than the instagram because it requires more compliance from the girl. This is because there will usually be a lot of guys in a girl’s dm’s on instagram but not many will have her phone number so you will stand out. |
Her: Hi
| I’m not the best at math but you could replace my X and I won’t ask Y | |
Her: 😂 Omg how well does that work on women 😝
| Lmao well I’ve never tried it, so I guess we’ll find out together 🫢 | The aim of this message is to keep the conversation fun and light hearted in the early stages of the interaction. |
Her: Well it definitely got me laughing 😂
| Aha ok off to a good start 😅You’re cute, what are you looking for on here? | The aim of this message is to check her intentions and what she wants out of the interaction. |
Her: Thanks 🙂
Her: Nothing too serious I’m just here for a good time. This message can be interpreted as her looking for and one night stand (ONS).
Her: What about you?
Her: You’re easy on the eyes too
| Aha thanks girl 😘And me too, trying to have some fun and going with the flow | This message matches her energy. It doesn’t scare her off by saying he’s looking for something serious but it is also not explicitly looking for a ONS. It is deliberately vague. |
Her: Awesome :)
Her: So tell me about yourself
Her: Sounds like an interview question but you get the point 🤪
| Lmfoa is this LinkedIn?? 😏 | This message teases her boring ‘interview style’ question. |
Her: Aren’t you linking in an app so technically? 😉
| Shoot me your number, if we vibe maybe we can get together sometime this week ♥️ | This message conveys that he has options and can be picky when it comes to choosing women by saying ‘if we vibe’. |
Her: Haha sure (phone number)
Her: Hi Hunter what’s up?
| Hey you 👋Just getting back from a nice walk hbu? (How about you?) | When you get the phone number, it is usually better to go back into vibing instead of going straight for the date. |
Her: Nice! Just got off a work meeting
Her: The day looks super nice
| Aha it’s soo nice out. You working from home? | |
Her: I’m an MBA student so I’m interning from home for now
Her: What about you - what do you do?
| Oh that sounds so chill good for you!I’m in digital marketing aha but enough about work. What do you do for fun 😂 | The aim of this message is to break away from the boring small talk and keep it fun and playful. |
Her: Yeah it’s good - keeps me busy which is nice
Her: Haha ok fair enough
Her: I’m an adrenaline junkie generally - roller coasters, skydiving etc. but on a regular day I like hiking, doing dinner and drinks with friends, love concerts
Her: Honestly I’m down for pretty much anything
Her: Travel was a big one pre-pandemic - you?
| Yeah I love exploring and seeing new places, getting rowdy with friends and playing music. But also enjoy taking it easy aha I have a cuddly side to me 💁♂️ | |
Her: I don’t know whether to be insulted about the bookworm comment or not 😂
Her: haha me too! I will happily spend a day in bed on the weekend
| Hope you can handle being teased a bit 💁♂️I mean sounds like it could be a good time with the right company 😈 | This message injects a flirty vibe to the interaction. |
Her: It’s always a good time with the right company 😏
| Aha as long as you’re a good cuddler | |
Her: I’m the greatest cuddler
Her: Haha any time essentially - you?
| when are you available? 😘Love the confidenceOh so like right now?? | This message teases her. |
Her: Haha ok any time in the evening
Her: I have a medical blog to write for today but I’m free post 7
| Ou wanna stream the hockey game and chill? | |
Her: I’m down
Her: Come to mine. I don’t know how long the blog will take me to write so it gives me a little bit of extra time this way
| Sure, I can just come for like 8 👍 what’s your address? | |
Her: (Address)
Her: You’ll have to call me when you get here so I can let you up
| Sounds good! 😘 | |
Her: See you tonight 😊
| Here! | |
Her: coming down
Her: Last night was fun but I’m sore as a mofo right now 😂
| Aha had such a good time thanks for having me 😘 | |
They match on Tinder. The student messages her first. In her third photo, she is in a bikini riding an all-terrain vehicle (ATV). There are a lot of shit tests in this interaction but the key to passing shit tests is to reverse it on her/ flip the frame and stay strong and confident. | We should recreate your third photo. I’ll be the ATV | Observational openers like this, which comment on one of the girl’s photos are the most effective when it comes to response rate. |
Her: If I had a dollar of every sexual ATV line I received on this app
Her: (gif of someone throwing money)
| Lmoa (laughing my ass off) Honestly it was just too easyBe cool if you did though. I’ve always wanted a sugar momma 😂 | This message keeps the conversation fun and playful. |
Her: I’m more of a sugar baby
| All of your vacation photos lead me to believe you’re not joking | This message keeps it playful, flirty and teases/ pokes fun at the girl. |
Her: Hey. I have a masters degree and a full time job. Vacations were all me. Any sugaring ventures (if there were any, not saying there are) would be purely for other naughty reasons.
| I’m glad you don’t need me to pay your rent 😅 But if you’re thinking a naughty week in mexico I think we’d have some fun ;) | This flips the frame back on the girl by keeping it fun and flirty. |
Her: You may not have been the first to offer me a week in Mexico 😇
| Um noo I’m offering to let you bring me | This message shuts down any notion that he is offering to take her to Mexico and reestablishes the flirtatious vibe. |
Her: Damnit
Her: Not used to being on the other side of the transaction
Her: Was not expecting that
| What can I say (her name) I’m not like other guysYou’re cute, what are you looking for on here? | Now that he has passed her tests, he wants to draw her in and get her intentions |
Her: Looking to meet new people and just see where things go!
Her: Nothing serious necessarily but I wouldn’t shy away from a real connection
Her: You?
| Ohh so like fwb (friends with benefits) 😅 | |
Her: (Gif of a girl rolling her eyes)
| Aha I’m looking for someone chill and fun, nothing super serious either but going with the flow. Just a good vibe 🙂I’m into kinky girls though and lowkey you look so innocent | This message is designed to get a response from her, forcing her to prove that she is naughty/ kinky enough to go on a date with him. |
Her: LOL no. You’re wild if you think you can judge someone’s kinkiness by the way they look.
| Lol prove me wrong (her name) 😈What’s your snap? | |
Her: If you had experience dealing with kinky girls you’d know my snap comes at a price
| I’m here to fill something girl and it’s not your pockets or your ego. Send it over | This message conveys confidence and self assuredness. |
Her: Hahaha
Her: It won’t work then, I thrive off of emptying wallets and certain body parts
Her: All while my ego and vanity are being stroked
Her: Sorry dude
| Lmao thank god I’m not desperate enough to pay 😂 | This message conveys that he is not like all the other guys simping in her dm’s and that he is on her level |