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The crude of earth.
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They have lived here for as long as I
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Remember. This moment,
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I smell wild incense:
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Heather, abducted by a desert wind.
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Its growth hides
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The rain-carved ribs of the foothills.
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Evening swallows
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The city fasting on late fall.
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Years ago, after hearing the story
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About a boy who lost
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Both legs while playing on an oil pump,
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I was dared to straddle one.
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All my friends were there to watch
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The Pacific behind me burning with dusk.
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The brute lifted me to the sky,
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Where I merged with the twilight,
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A warm breeze embracing my back.
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None of them noticed
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The world stopped to breathe.
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When I looked, they disappeared.
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Nearby in pink-flowered bushes
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Someone found
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The girl who’d been missing for weeks.
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They stood in awe, the body
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Decomposing, while I rode
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The slow bucking animal.
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Two months later, off the same pump,
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A man dove,
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An imperfect swan into night.
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He landed in the dirt gully
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Breaking the soft, white wings
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He never had.
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Today, I catch in my hand
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An insect charged with lightning.
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It tickles
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The obscure scoop of my palm
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As I hold it to my mouth and explain
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A wish so simple
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By morning I will have forgotten it.
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I release
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The bug to a desert wind
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That is racing toward the sea,
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A brutal dryness in its wake.
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Fire in the hills everywhere.
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About the only thing I thought I knew
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was that nothing I’d ever know would do
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any good. Sunrise, say, or that the part
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of the horse’s hoof that most resembles
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a human palm is called the frog;
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certain chords on the guitar of no mercantile use;
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the abstruse circuitry of an envelope
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quatrain; even the meaning of horripilation.
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Sometimes on a flatland mound the ancients had made,
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I took heart in the pointlessness of stars
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and lay there until my teeth chattered.
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I earned my last Boy Scout merit badge
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building a birdhouse out of license plates
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manufactured by felons in the big house.
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No more paramilitary organizations for me,
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I said, ten years before I was drafted.
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I had skills. Sure-footedness and slick
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fielding. Eventually I would learn to unhook
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a bra one-handed, practicing on my friend,
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his sister's worn over his T-shirt (I took
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my turns too). One Easter Sunday I hid
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through the church service among the pipes
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of the organ and still did not have faith,
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although my ears rang until Monday.
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I began to know that little worth knowing
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was knowable and faith was delusion.
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I began to believe I believed in believing
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nothing I was supposed to believe in,
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except the stars, which, like me,
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were not significant, except for their light,
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meaning I loved them for their pointlessness.
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I believed I owned them somehow.
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A C major 7th chord was beautiful and almost rare.
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