Hieuman/blog_authorship-doc · Datasets at Hugging Face

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blog_authorship_996147	Went up to the cottage last night, mainly to water some plants, but we figured that since we were up there we might as well spend the night up there. Brought the iBook up along with the Japan books in an attempt to tighten up our itinerary. I think we did alright. Installed Blosxon and Movabletype on this machine as well. I figure I'd play around with them and see how they work out for blogging. It's not that difficult to install, but will take a little time to figure out how to customize. :-)	317,129	[ 317108, 317072, 317075 ]	78	[ 279234, 156547, 51587, 109394, 111697, 295166, 63898, 207659, 308815, 111723, 175341, 281147, 195942, 266489, 296960, 308807, 216603, 279461, 286356, 40572, 287885, 66754, 73693, 137028, 161279, 276836, 111339, 173768, 110795, 303777, 184137, 114433, 60777, 241367, 49971, 122292, 111580, 245193, 308837, 229178, 111284, 7953, 160576, 114434, 139416, 276848, 188867, 50824, 252468, 223504, 144107, 297703, 173815, 289857, 42019, 264582, 82668, 161420, 237849, 248150, 173539, 59467, 202541, 236075, 189535, 113170, 286909, 313875, 189297, 260136, 222669, 313773, 198938, 304634, 203006, 198007, 1628, 109749, 276840, 75123, 275500, 164470, 183983, 266476, 56497, 141999, 213634, 198949, 290607, 296220, 128313, 305760, 30289, 304773, 25537, 194312, 139738, 119527, 111633, 122441, 275063, 40584, 161333, 152636, 169054, 191918, 111548, 39257, 198202, 248176, 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blog_authorship_996147	Ahhhhh! The weekend at last! I thought it would never come! It's just been yet another wild and crazy week at work. Sometimes I don't feel like I get much of a break in between days. I hope to relax a bit this weekend. We'll prob go up to the cottage Saturday night. Need to water the plants, but figure it would be nice to take advantage of <PERSON>'s parents not being there. Got some ground meat out of the freezer the other day. Should be good to go for tomorrow :) Had a discussion at lunch about just getting up and moving to another country. <PERSON> can easily get used to the idea. He's already been in other places for extended periods for work, so it would not be a big deal for him to get up and go. For others of us, it is a bit more difficult. There's this one girl at work who took a sabbatical and went to Africa where her sister was at the time. I don't think we can take sabbaticals nowadays. You just can't guarantee that you'll come back to a job. Oh well.. maybe one day when things get better. 8-)	317,130	[ 317108, 317072 ]	117	[ 276879, 64441, 219558, 138724, 249059, 209102, 26736, 50282, 109394, 305187, 191918, 264263, 190675, 313888, 220863, 237636, 274694, 235964, 158125, 191908, 293211, 204921, 162019, 184163, 304737, 138730, 72541, 102736, 4629, 150316, 37210, 111388, 222576, 165554, 179564, 19818, 210388, 296662, 158446, 302357, 125660, 307298, 41361, 227721, 181149, 179283, 171090, 296962, 223504, 26794, 296645, 295540, 314116, 286881, 42572, 205130, 161336, 164470, 313198, 128320, 204580, 108604, 43007, 247563, 247577, 64420, 282010, 109618, 211580, 232840, 246790, 235774, 4690, 286999, 220130, 63891, 138723, 254726, 80775, 241081, 172333, 138733, 238209, 64598, 206425, 161328, 138764, 230394, 111250, 125024, 35734, 149268, 226117, 271722, 28522, 4675, 181138, 186990, 187011, 264744, 252172, 201939, 63898, 9814, 145747, 137262, 160934, 109610, 115315, 160889, 279900, 256481, 69840, 247918, 180879, 21356, 114846, 63896, 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blog_authorship_996147	Well, I think I am really starting to feel old. Went to the <PERSON> concert last night (free tix!). Maybe it's me, or maybe it's where we were sitting, but I found the music a bit too loud. It seems like the pumped up the volume to the point where the singer's voice was becoming distorted. I just could not make out what he was singing. Of course, not being a big DMB fan, I am at a disadvantage with regards to what the lyrics could have been! So, today, my ears are not ringing too much, but for one reason or another, I have this stiff neck. This is too bad, because I was hoping to play softball tonight. The team won yesterday! But I don't want to aggravate this stiff neck. :-p Sux to be old. Anyway, still counting down the days to Japan! Come the end of the week, we will have approximately 3 weeks to go!! :-D Payday tomorrow! WOO HOO!!	317,131	[ 317074, 317108, 317072 ]	37	[ 79073, 271726, 304686, 262004, 261015, 189103, 139764, 310788, 234690, 58727, 141098, 309359, 122330, 187330, 28699, 268213, 158445, 25219, 98389, 116999, 292768, 111387, 286999, 158449, 161293, 241084, 161328, 76484, 277509, 304737, 262101, 146621, 161881, 259631, 261004, 248640, 124737, 189290, 184631, 190763, 117175, 117000, 10667, 187016, 143041, 111718, 222567, 44034, 307300, 310846, 62844, 41533, 282933, 298406, 43044, 152774, 165074, 259607, 24654, 179185, 268241, 193521, 156534, 300143, 201968, 8093, 201797, 261886, 58708, 205166, 59420, 109365, 280573, 51832, 152588, 132053, 213733, 30281, 160197, 148652, 192039, 142759, 142788, 111684, 69840, 236858, 289414, 243038, 186999, 112146, 161564, 161326, 260629, 300958, 187012, 72617, 74859, 161303, 127946, 259288, 304456, 178732, 220341, 303250, 158489, 242478, 89049, 163350, 140930, 60422, 167011, 194608, 194981, 85394, 105243, 138779, 246158, 21202, 155266, 27912, 142771, 222571, 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blog_authorship_996147	Had gone over to Jardin Jasmin yesterday and came away with just dirt! Actually, that's probably a good thing. I've got to look into taking better care of the orchids I have before I think about getting any more plants! Anyway, we picked up a big bag of this stuff called hydroton. they're like these little marble-sized balls made of baked clay. In any case, we saw them used at the nursery for some plants that like a very moist environment. I figure they would be great for the orchids to sit on top of! It looks like they can stay moist for a while. Also picked up a bag of soil for cactus and a bag of soil for african violets. We need to repot one of <PERSON>'s plants and one of two plants I got from work needs more media. I am really starting to like this little iBook. I think that with each day I use it, the more accustomed I become with it. There are prob still some things about the OS X environment I haven't discovered yet, but soon enough I will be an old hand at it. I really like doing stuff wirelessly. I don't know how I managed to compute from the PC desktop. I don't think I will be giving up my desktop any time soon, yet, most of this weekend, I had been using the iBook. I've also set it up so that I can receive my email on this machine. Hope my PC doesn't get too lonely... Anyways, it's exactly one month before the big trip!!! :) 1 day down, 29 more to go!!!! Darn! Have to go back to work tomorrow. Even these long weekends just don't seem very long any more. I'm supposed to play softball tomorrow, but we got tickets (from <PERSON>) for the <PERSON> concert at the Bell Centre. Hrm... Oh well. I'm sure the team can handle things just fine without me! :D Well, hey! What would you choose? ;-) Had a taste of moon cake today. I had bought a tin of them on Saturday. They're from HK. They're rather tasty but rather rich. No wonder no one ever eats a whole one in one sitting! These things can be deadly when eaten in large quantities! We stopped by <PERSON> and <PERSON>'s to pick up the concert tickets and I brought them a small care basket of some braised beef I made last night and a mooncake. I think <PERSON> will appreciate the moon cake. :D Anyway, we tossed around the idea of going up to the cottage next weekend. Maybe see if <PERSON> and <PERSON> would like to come along and spend the day there. It should be nice. I just hope the weather cooperates. :-)	317,132	[ 317108, 317074, 317075 ]	101	[ 313839, 15414, 15947, 166157, 125213, 24626, 24894, 286881, 111718, 258111, 7137, 116944, 315136, 252845, 114923, 150651, 144349, 246424, 63192, 111558, 210388, 278671, 161370, 302799, 121538, 229790, 51829, 111284, 161272, 231748, 201106, 187647, 114405, 236722, 179948, 161330, 111318, 83543, 134525, 259607, 109394, 264299, 167, 161280, 210377, 291115, 64438, 111709, 138730, 213577, 222576, 111540, 128343, 74949, 99980, 36107, 165777, 92280, 261532, 143049, 229939, 293500, 111447, 308815, 212636, 144366, 208860, 254545, 161417, 128335, 198171, 63962, 157802, 148896, 256481, 246430, 212580, 262651, 25207, 177678, 114401, 72569, 181149, 161375, 165023, 150325, 148652, 309359, 111676, 111529, 266490, 161364, 252172, 259204, 219557, 270595, 280577, 64447, 89124, 307300, 44800, 177653, 190620, 68307, 63165, 161571, 282513, 135455, 255379, 212790, 309786, 297213, 161409, 24498, 116994, 26741, 21193, 165546, 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blog_authorship_996147	It's been a rough week... It started off slow... but I should have known that it was the calm before the storm. Silly me. I saw the signs. I should have acted sooner. Oh well.. I guess I will have to live with it. Of course, half the team will be on vacation for the next two week. That leaves just 5 of us to do the work of 10. We are going to have so much FUN! Not.... We shall see what state of mind we will all be in after 2 weeks... Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of.... Packaging in Paradise!	317,133	[ 317072, 317108, 317074 ]	73	[ 110769, 174992, 72970, 168848, 222562, 247506, 166246, 30330, 261831, 58731, 310832, 259607, 193773, 47053, 51372, 282092, 163102, 72541, 202253, 98780, 181970, 115300, 161200, 92240, 160899, 199821, 39817, 64443, 305563, 137028, 312154, 202259, 306230, 252581, 304749, 125644, 110761, 122362, 174639, 281336, 8625, 163020, 114846, 194759, 313067, 312327, 110773, 252281, 9768, 196539, 150038, 231180, 235828, 286881, 289856, 159449, 267446, 306253, 276980, 140487, 17635, 144365, 306311, 21230, 60013, 90425, 146034, 38980, 260011, 199805, 101601, 251640, 185012, 97612, 128407, 150043, 295536, 254944, 51264, 193817, 1335, 163496, 51619, 281933, 185054, 142364, 42487, 199065, 33103, 72538, 185723, 188850, 8639, 269163, 202238, 55470, 61740, 109432, 63898, 206129, 223340, 167501, 74862, 277105, 159300, 116490, 193829, 76960, 263061, 237974, 270253, 135654, 198760, 296960, 133560, 277162, 304683, 195652, 294168, 185027, 151399, 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blog_authorship_996147	Yet another Monday. I suppose it's become a mantra for many of us when we come into the office on a Monday morning. Bleah. At least I had a decent weekend. The parents were by on their little road trip through Canada (Niagara Falls, Toronto, Montreal). The weather co-operated so we had a nice time checking out Chinatown and the downtown area. We had dim sum for lunch which wasn't bad. Got me some new Merrells at MEC and the boys picked up some KK while we were there. Picked up a few steaks at the local butcher as well as a couple of brochettes to grill for dinner. All in all, we had a nice time. The folks left early on Sunday. The rest of the day we vegged and worked on some small things. <PERSON> did a clean install of OSX on the 12 inch iBook. Had some problems afterwards with it communicating with the Airport Base Station. I couldn't quite figure out why it just won't see it. It could see a neighboring wireless network but not ours. After some fiddling around and resetting the base station, I managed to get it (and my iBook) to see the base station again. Before the settings for the airport were set to 'Automatic'. Now they are set to specifically connect to our base station. I'm wondering if it's because the other network was using 10.0.1.1 as well? Hmmm... Well, whatever the problem was, everything is working again. :-) I'm wondering if that's why we occasionally lose contact with the base station.... So, after much dicking around with that, we needed to pick up a few things from the store as well as a new toner catridge for the printer. That done, <PERSON> was back to reading up on CSS. I think I'll let him become the expert on that one. :-) After having looked for and downloaded all sorts of documentation on CSS, he finally remembered that he had bought a 2nd hand book on DHTML and CSS when we were in Boston (gotta love that <PERSON><IP_ADDRESS> as well? Hmmm... Well, whatever the problem was, everything is working again. :-) I'm wondering if that's why we occasionally lose contact with the base station.... So, after much dicking around with that, we needed to pick up a few things from the store as well as a new toner catridge for the printer. That done, Dave was back to reading up on CSS. I think I'll let him become the expert on that one. :-) After having looked for and downloaded all sorts of documentation on CSS, he finally remembered that he had bought a 2nd hand book on DHTML and CSS when we were in Boston (gotta love that Victor Hugo book store on Newbury street). So I guess he'll be reading that for a while. In the meantime, I should get my own ass in gear and read up on some stuff as well. The problem I'm having is finding the energy to even get started. I want to learn a bit about Perl programming. I'd like to have a look at CSS as well. Oh well... We'll see how things work out with the O2 as a server. Will have to investigate a bit further about ISPs.....	317,134	[ 317108, 317074, 317072 ]	175	[ 210979, 68442, 13325, 128408, 64504, 264292, 171962, 276840, 182521, 81301, 277139, 305832, 208549, 111670, 111211, 307910, 198007, 63193, 59467, 111608, 218439, 309525, 245149, 234082, 287455, 246424, 161336, 311804, 907, 529, 173714, 143049, 49338, 239500, 149554, 208552, 204542, 219381, 214213, 167691, 21202, 164470, 43309, 64509, 181205, 111590, 195160, 311214, 42372, 100532, 291150, 173081, 117777, 165529, 61495, 111442, 173092, 122292, 182516, 111627, 137038, 182937, 116500, 110838, 290607, 273992, 45514, 198166, 196539, 13017, 183063, 266490, 169980, 68337, 299528, 313112, 110817, 82779, 276515, 147180, 223867, 291288, 160934, 227925, 235767, 62660, 165522, 281936, 42677, 218998, 206000, 1628, 271092, 110108, 313433, 199009, 313166, 51857, 245329, 144349, 64456, 114935, 111622, 5308, 137075, 247266, 247259, 161367, 8625, 64431, 139026, 147207, 307325, 133946, 111558, 64515, 204561, 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blog_authorship_996147	The mind is such a terrible thing to waste... So, don't use it!!!! ;-) Yet another day. I don't know if Tuesdays are any better or worse than Mondays. OK, so we're one day closer to Friday on a Tuesday than if it were a Monday. However, Tuesday is still closer to the beginning of the work week than it is to the weekend. Tuesday is just one of those days. There must be a conspiracy behind Tuesdays. I find that programming on TV for Tuesdays are quite boring compared to other days of the week. Why is that? Something to think about on a Tuesday, I suppose. ;-) Day has been relatively quite. Like yesterday, I've got stuff to do, but nothing that's too overwhelming (thank goodness!). Yet, I don't feel that I am as busy as I should or could be. Look at this! I'm blogging during my lunch hour! I guess it's probably better I wasn't working and eating my lunch at the same time. I read somewhere that this is not really healthy for you. I suppose one thing that could happen is that you get indigestion or heartburn if you're stressed over work while eating. Not a good thing, I guess... Maybe I'll post more pictures later. :)	317,135	[ 317108 ]	177	[ 87754, 289042, 313808, 80869, 42563, 90433, 64420, 293366, 122005, 156541, 181647, 180849, 300048, 220807, 176565, 24618, 72603, 263587, 271527, 22862, 127377, 50311, 287896, 111661, 111216, 90430, 172327, 15032, 172352, 308236, 149427, 101552, 234107, 307268, 128274, 312081, 119078, 42560, 188849, 170204, 120160, 195650, 104715, 101676, 264345, 282752, 172321, 273203, 230049, 51264, 314573, 137205, 222342, 117163, 42562, 67249, 277559, 315721, 125150, 922, 218267, 199040, 26730, 300193, 302158, 118247, 126888, 290672, 290678, 269165, 240896, 256679, 76332, 26634, 173510, 114935, 209020, 24529, 119054, 158121, 237634, 130104, 270271, 85471, 279900, 215691, 89949, 238209, 24602, 199006, 156272, 227075, 68748, 201699, 166659, 177092, 77056, 90435, 170558, 119045, 63928, 96488, 72637, 128433, 311948, 219870, 218439, 63891, 191130, 289415, 225793, 225804, 127022, 206488, 26737, 10707, 239817, 312150, 199149, 158629, 129767, 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blog_authorship_996147	Why is it that on Mondays I really don't feel like doing a heck of a whole lot? Or maybe there just doesn't seem to be a whole lot happening today. :-p Clouds have been coming in and out during the day. There was a sprinkle or two in the morning. If the weather remains stable, I might decide to ride into work tomorrow. We'll see... I hate days where I just sit around waiting for the next crisis to pop up. I've managed to do what I need to have done today done already. There are plans to do some other stuff, but that's only for tomorrow. bored, bored, bored..... maybe I shouldn't say that. I might jinx things.... :-o	317,136	[ 317108, 317072 ]	109	[ 161386, 90409, 161417, 146411, 180939, 309404, 241070, 157228, 64640, 161421, 215696, 173685, 246191, 259267, 301345, 239944, 153841, 191711, 108390, 109700, 35023, 90362, 22890, 296324, 153329, 297782, 153319, 182427, 205230, 211219, 154722, 182211, 163312, 96515, 250834, 7966, 180394, 181132, 174110, 4675, 246419, 138775, 280878, 161405, 76256, 170731, 265093, 156544, 86707, 165788, 219830, 148998, 194123, 235003, 218133, 52258, 224141, 17232, 281785, 184561, 253174, 17796, 208736, 49036, 42586, 280953, 296860, 288342, 309463, 202683, 186742, 105409, 199047, 211292, 155762, 161387, 51752, 125143, 299041, 206710, 138853, 293366, 259188, 109588, 262639, 142002, 88144, 224845, 120157, 166940, 236527, 111198, 171771, 193769, 125169, 195752, 244036, 179693, 176649, 179947, 187115, 178720, 269625, 55398, 44173, 284546, 270129, 251640, 217927, 153096, 125071, 226586, 316683, 220070, 158385, 278061, 243038, 148514, 266079, 176786, 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blog_authorship_996147	Quick Grill Idea Marinate boneless, skinless chicken breast in some italian dressing for about an hour. Prepare as a side some veggies. Grill chicken breasts on the ol' bbq and VOILA! Dinner is ready! Gotta love summer grilling. It's fast and easy. Another yummy idea: Chicken Satay. Follow the recipe on a jar of Thai Kitchen's Spicy Thai Peanut Sauce and you've got yourself some delicious chicken satay with some kick! :-)	317,137	[ 317074, 317076, 317091, 317087, 317064, 317070, 317077, 317095, 317065, 317093, 317073, 317089, 317113, 317111, 317114, 317098, 317066, 317099, 317092, 317105, 317100, 317107, 317112, 317069, 317075, 317071, 317104, 317110, 317082, 317079, 317086, 317103, 317101, 317067, 317078, 317088, 317085, 317090, 317080, 317102, 317096, 317063, 317068, 317115, 317081, 317106, 317109, 317084 ]	10	[ 32251, 101454, 32297, 240652, 107570, 32222, 92156, 66915, 95939, 264359, 169533, 276925, 288570, 32276, 296009, 36193, 168465, 80655, 212200, 32311, 201819, 32285, 215913, 32308, 32287, 313856, 234212, 261152, 289735, 60911, 140036, 23178, 80659, 138327, 164976, 81858, 72602, 43350, 308171, 170127, 107524, 15525, 100645, 289765, 17658, 276919, 152766, 61431, 208715, 290798, 57883, 303268, 93628, 32286, 80685, 77468, 226718, 160931, 225688, 107496, 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blog_authorship_996147	It's Saturday. Do you know where your mind is? Somedays I wonder about that. I think it's there. But then, if I think, therefore I mind? Not that simple is it? It's sunny. I'm listening to some Latin tunes courtesy of Putumayo. It's a change of pace from whatever is usually playing on the radio or the music video stations. Plus, my CD collection has been a bit stale lately. I haven't really been inspired by much these days in the music department. At work I usually tune into either urlLink Ministry of Sound or urlLink Trance Airwaves . Maybe it's because it's easy for me to push the music into the background while I work. I notice that when there is no background noise or music, it's a tad more difficult for me to concentrate on what I am doing. Strange, no? The other half has gone off on a bike ride around the island. I think he needs to work off some of the stress he's been feeling at work as well. It's been rough since it's currently just he and his boss running the operation. Sometimes he has to pull some long hours. I'm just glad he doesn't have to go into work today. :-p I suppose I should try to be a bit more productive today. Maybe I can try to finish Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix . It's been languishing on my nightstand for some months now. Hmm, better make that a year. I think I picked up the book not long after it was released. I have such a backlog of books to read. I recently ordered two books by <PERSON> (A Cook's Tour on FoodTV) from _URL_0_. I almost wanted to get some computer books at Chapter's recently, but then remembered that there was a library at work. Saved quite a few bucks right there! Hmm.. Maybe I should look into trying some of the recipes in Flavors of Aloha. It's a neat little cookbook I picked up when we were in Hawaii this past May. It's put together by the Japanese Women's Societ of Honolulu. It's got a nice mix of recipes from the different ethnic groups that populate Hawaii. Quite a few of the recipes are traditional with a Hawaiian twist to it. I should mention that while we were there we did not have any Spam. We did have some poke which is quite delicious and is a different spin on sashimi. :) OK, all this food talk is starting to make me hungry. I think it's time for breakfast. ;-)	317,138	[ 317074, 317108 ]	49	[ 226732, 210388, 257767, 47059, 50015, 199065, 224363, 38968, 158052, 26423, 203028, 86684, 226713, 134032, 50297, 92208, 52815, 310031, 126871, 215518, 295165, 159300, 148001, 194981, 47082, 159510, 277142, 63174, 310465, 925, 126822, 9734, 259968, 292930, 111517, 219959, 276563, 224944, 199033, 156916, 111164, 126784, 241492, 125581, 135992, 149427, 92227, 126840, 223486, 203026, 232784, 167774, 64510, 315003, 142764, 122033, 142788, 236513, 274252, 212616, 268907, 258111, 162260, 242582, 315721, 313842, 284288, 111718, 109381, 216538, 173755, 241033, 312138, 47081, 48336, 170135, 148878, 66429, 287821, 284653, 216528, 173463, 179185, 199002, 133909, 261182, 103962, 254067, 205618, 289414, 52929, 125213, 82687, 158020, 191748, 142787, 51502, 236373, 98494, 156215, 276515, 241088, 142767, 212636, 308094, 187011, 203504, 64521, 234250, 168507, 111412, 50210, 165556, 203135, 149260, 64431, 30925, 258872, 68303, 24406, 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blog_authorship_996147	C'est le weekend!   Finally.  The end of the week is here.  It just couldn't get here fast enough.  I am just absolutely zapped!  but the crazy thing is, sometimes, even after I've gotten home, work still seems to follow me.  That kinda sucks. :-p   So, what to do this weekend?  Well, we've got tickets to go see ' urlLink Cutie Honey at the urlLink Fantasia film festival! That's on Sunday though.   Other than that I just hope to unwind and relax a bit this weekend.  I don't want to exert too much of my gray matter.  Or, what's left of it anyway....	317,139	[ 317108, 317074, 317072 ]	91	[ 203157, 64521, 237650, 196838, 233710, 247577, 121952, 294603, 315573, 161200, 202039, 258174, 221409, 284134, 218042, 270245, 235140, 278983, 4550, 282395, 89821, 235144, 232014, 249542, 92362, 281336, 64518, 281438, 67650, 277959, 283126, 49404, 288625, 288742, 86707, 247888, 261118, 276758, 270244, 76382, 39899, 256450, 281166, 284133, 42502, 245238, 294523, 277149, 292749, 246688, 96929, 224192, 170617, 172624, 277251, 188532, 313624, 232792, 160593, 182520, 293366, 119469, 203028, 277559, 293200, 177316, 237767, 161413, 310567, 216586, 225686, 193623, 294612, 88470, 232038, 222567, 138812, 261275, 294621, 282018, 210106, 263863, 218458, 168442, 285935, 167429, 226487, 168662, 50331, 190950, 200183, 188535, 233709, 305762, 226215, 285585, 228656, 293201, 84021, 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blog_authorship_996147	Another day, another dollar. Yet another rip, roaring day at the office today. The usual B.S. and craziness. Everyone making demands of all of us. It's amazing that no one has gone postal yet! %-] But other than that, I think I managed to accomplish what I was hoping for today. Of course, some stuff had to be put on hold until an a proper solution is found. :-p A bit frustrating if you've already put in a lot of hours into it. In the meantime, I am rather exhausted! I am just about ready to zonk out! But I figure I'd write a little bit. I've also been trying to work on building up an itinerary for next year's Japan trip. If we take 4 weeks, then we could probably get to visit more places... It's been slow going... :-/ Anyway...	317,140	[ 317108, 317072, 317074 ]	203	[ 197985, 111596, 111627, 42697, 52092, 313438, 114944, 248150, 125053, 58616, 150309, 169944, 276682, 125213, 284645, 64447, 274697, 24665, 111388, 184634, 148027, 196513, 163082, 111558, 136098, 280619, 86684, 165074, 212578, 64494, 280578, 128408, 198136, 207484, 17791, 244902, 136084, 167735, 24523, 63256, 254801, 226479, 209722, 236426, 232234, 63160, 248176, 199496, 146924, 247906, 134041, 138774, 137983, 24397, 24510, 116945, 250944, 285841, 160900, 215369, 68281, 274694, 134277, 24507, 173328, 313772, 134659, 132862, 28557, 304737, 24642, 87604, 116477, 9755, 146717, 233704, 72554, 138825, 188062, 109093, 154341, 149360, 111232, 5430, 75749, 83465, 310168, 135742, 277723, 126854, 216528, 111718, 47085, 168279, 278879, 238209, 89506, 261840, 63158, 121967, 111234, 132806, 72569, 220951, 42684, 295163, 128403, 264536, 24435, 242611, 178280, 935, 172631, 62930, 42554, 24529, 64450, 296962, 125090, 111149, 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blog_authorship_996147	Argh!!! I hate telemarketers... But thank goodness for caller ID. For some reason, I have been getting some unsolicited calls from chinese telemarketers. It just annoys the hell out of me! Just because I have a Chinese surname, they assume they can sell me something. These calls tend to be originating from the Toronto area and they all want to sell me long distance!!! :-p Needless to say, they almost always try to call during dinner time. :-p Anyway, today was just one those days at work where things just keep coming at you one right after another. It was a relatively busy day but they were mainly issues about one thing or another. I kinda like dealing with issues as long as it's something that makes me think a bit. Ho hum.....	317,141	[ 317074, 317108 ]	211	[ 217087, 130497, 313366, 21680, 126521, 112569, 111576, 239019, 204741, 86670, 278241, 246424, 286881, 143125, 68281, 236418, 310873, 296858, 125754, 186775, 69738, 74949, 163539, 124763, 199827, 101125, 228554, 201970, 153360, 40215, 277146, 274727, 207281, 4614, 37365, 249745, 224044, 52226, 43569, 308358, 170357, 191678, 58077, 124569, 305110, 109548, 164995, 133946, 229923, 33843, 102315, 155516, 138762, 64490, 63370, 163514, 176718, 310845, 259340, 313317, 124989, 178316, 307258, 237636, 164602, 111588, 266901, 98631, 19203, 125066, 132703, 257610, 200034, 125650, 151660, 161462, 217078, 279864, 273672, 152774, 184268, 234337, 260017, 115648, 9861, 213550, 300977, 87720, 277110, 286870, 156490, 26781, 120668, 105273, 243836, 182239, 241850, 281952, 243840, 174152, 296962, 158043, 76198, 101121, 249183, 125185, 304697, 301012, 10248, 132772, 304024, 276481, 64457, 134032, 256576, 95930, 119767, 179863, 64431, 11132, 122384, 172403, 19263, 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blog_authorship_996147	OK.. not quite ready for bed... Neglected to mention that back in January, in the throes of wanting to spend some money, I got myself a 14-inch G4 iBook. Of course this was just some weeks before Apple announced the release of an even more updated version of the iBook. :-p Other than that, I'm quite satisfied with this little machine. At first, I really wasn't sure if I had wanted the 12-inch or the 14-inch. I had used the older 12-inch and I liked the compactness of it. But, I decided to go 'big' and get the 14-inch. It took a little getting used to, but it's great. :-) OK... Now I try to go to sleep... %-)	317,142	[ 317108, 317074, 317072 ]	166	[ 76150, 129508, 58897, 11228, 70045, 41080, 69234, 98114, 142949, 298216, 308793, 184008, 289759, 44135, 123571, 67786, 222095, 285448, 313682, 133541, 216396, 42701, 215458, 42690, 33318, 21128, 43097, 8545, 42693, 8001, 52756, 4084, 167433, 4049, 49839, 193177, 117147, 67780, 250721, 15686, 152337, 42678, 14912, 47663, 107894, 134749, 268918, 211336, 191448, 64909, 209892, 196062, 207077, 201075, 186271, 268873, 128335, 64672, 237438, 210775, 9780, 128428, 232911, 229988, 105111, 116174, 223449, 42672, 307799, 124894, 42570, 159822, 2823, 42687, 56466, 72566, 239973, 2604, 10511, 285488, 270389, 281341, 242232, 297053, 124572, 197977, 84682, 169502, 149560, 124434, 315731, 132566, 207003, 315077, 67828, 276444, 295549, 262464, 196792, 241547, 140702, 183771, 69784, 108426, 64646, 99956, 191259, 78443, 28712, 17550, 167440, 210754, 286806, 201856, 52991, 235624, 86587, 69570, 125071, 275651, 28286, 149950, 82041, 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blog_authorship_996147	Finally, it's the end of the work week. However, I don't think my work is done. I've still got to go into work Saturday to finish up something I can't remotely from home. :-p Kinda sucks. A bit stressful this week. Had to work on some stuff that the customer wanted today, but it was delivered to us somewhat incomplete. If they knew what they were testing, they would have caught this little oversight. As it was, I had to discover this little problem. Oh well, the customer, needless to say, did not get their patch today. We'll see if the escalation process yields any answers on Monday. Got a hair appointment tomorrow as well. I think I'll go to my appointment before heading into the office. <PERSON> has to go into work tomorrow too. Oh well, at least it's both of us. Still trying to research some more stuff for next year's trip to Japan. I had printed out some stuff from the JNTO site for some placed in the Chubu area. Will try to print out some more stuff later. Here's a urlLink link my brother just showed me. A cyclist he knows. Crazy things. Speaking of crazy... Car started to start up a bit louder than usual as well as making some funny noises. Brought it to the garage Tuesday night, next day, he tells me that the exhaust pipe fell off as he was moving the car out and back into the garage. Funny it happens at the garage and not on the street! Strange luck! Need to start planning the painting of the bathroom. Brought back a slew of color samples last week, but we haven't had a chance to go through them yet. Oh well.... YAWN Ok, that's it...	317,143	[ 317108, 317072, 317074 ]	73	[ 209102, 190725, 50015, 232229, 173768, 128408, 64447, 230403, 23612, 246424, 138753, 63265, 124525, 255322, 215691, 165504, 42668, 113564, 249078, 40567, 64494, 111540, 193855, 138735, 257548, 288331, 211565, 296962, 144349, 313058, 187041, 125024, 146717, 282493, 275439, 8598, 169956, 138789, 169097, 133483, 200153, 138724, 203021, 168506, 187047, 63923, 529, 222576, 259644, 218439, 260629, 111627, 182180, 225849, 111319, 261390, 247891, 55981, 165020, 111608, 185027, 281729, 146689, 253754, 76211, 164080, 135702, 138782, 260776, 259324, 42562, 130502, 252584, 64499, 160929, 90471, 217418, 125729, 30719, 134037, 229782, 244890, 193780, 249679, 159300, 110838, 135451, 179952, 212319, 197986, 130521, 313198, 42651, 277733, 114261, 60877, 172817, 52919, 313170, 168508, 137303, 122033, 28502, 161364, 141011, 575, 91630, 113589, 270135, 177073, 24903, 128470, 127086, 248162, 9579, 201082, 275322, 125213, 223015, 22890, 24529, 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blog_authorship_996147	Not much about anything... I woke up this morning feeling quite exhausted. I don't know why. I can't say that I have been overworked, nor have I been physically pushing myself either. Maybe it's time for another vacation. Another? Yes, we just took 2 weeks in May to jet off to bee-yoo-tee-full Hawaii. The weather could have been better, but overall, it was really nice, albeit a bit expensive. My Mastercard bill is still reminding me how expensive it was. :-p Highlights of the trip? Well, we got to visit three of the islands: Kauai, Maui and Hawaii (the Big Island). On Kauai, I would have to say it was the boat trip to the Napali Coast. At the same time, it was also sort of the low-light because I nearly tossed my cookies because of the rough waters. :-p But the sight was spectacular! On Mauai, I think the drive up Haleakala was really nice, especially the views of the cindercones from the top. Coincidentally, that was also the day we were suppose to do the mountain bike ride down from Haleakala. :-/ On Hawaii, it would have to be the lava flows. After trekking about a mile and a half out, we got to see real, red, flowing lava. Despite the heat and the exhaustion, it was a trek well worth the physical pain. Also got to see some petroglyphs on the way down to the end of the Chain of Craters Road. Would we visit Hawaii again? Probably not any time soon. We found it a bit expensive despite the deals we got on our hotels, cars and flights. In general, food is not cheap. When we visited a supermarket on Maui, we were somewhat put-off by the price of some everyday items like orange juice. I suppose that since everything has to be shipped over from the mainland, a certain premium has to be paid for these items. So, as a result, everything else is also rather expensive. Real estate is also at a premium out there for obvious reasons. Amazingly, while we were there, gas prices had started to climb in the US and Hawaii did not have the highest gas prices. California did! Well, planning has started for our next vacation. We're planning another trip to Japan in 2005. This time we want to go for 3 weeks. Also, <PERSON> bought tickets for the World's Expo, so there's another reason for going. :-) We haven't come up with a firm itinerary yet. However, this time I'd like to try to make it down to Fukuoka and Beppu. We'll probably make Kyoto our homebase for visiting the Expo site in Aichi prefecture. We figure that it'd be nicer to stay in Kyoto versus Nagoya. And with the rail pass it would make commuting between Kyoto and Nagoya easier. Will have to investigate some possible destinations soon! :-)	317,144	[ 317074, 317072, 317108, 317075 ]	200	[ 81301, 24699, 114851, 162032, 198938, 61344, 128974, 254945, 198946, 39800, 294060, 204934, 54448, 62916, 68537, 161419, 204306, 209339, 17635, 207777, 161417, 198912, 162003, 61556, 42613, 144334, 926, 162033, 122038, 121967, 181970, 93475, 215367, 51683, 226180, 229874, 234068, 190486, 111658, 211904, 60010, 198202, 127926, 128354, 16263, 62930, 304749, 267842, 196433, 169099, 312121, 273619, 215369, 306069, 247508, 198903, 195083, 206165, 64509, 161367, 105733, 187006, 182514, 60003, 162016, 236552, 147148, 314879, 126823, 198180, 223466, 100592, 160368, 207715, 184022, 264263, 42990, 161339, 64441, 57993, 89124, 162001, 165413, 63881, 225190, 182114, 24630, 147207, 183063, 226372, 252148, 263463, 165037, 301258, 195398, 165009, 307910, 229204, 200665, 120061, 109400, 8639, 68539, 150325, 295529, 215364, 306452, 161418, 162005, 13549, 50014, 10230, 111718, 6966, 199496, 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blog_authorship_997488	baltimore is rainy today, but not too cold. the leaves have all turned red, so it's really beautiful, especially on my street. i love rain. if i took a photograph of my street right now, it'd be almost like a postcard, with old colorful houses, cobblestone road, shiny drenched ground, and red and yellow leaves everywhere. and no one would probably guess it's baltimore (except for the rowhouses, which would be a dead giveaway), the crime/homocide/drug/poverty capital of america. it's like <PERSON> kodachrome song, 'makes you think all the world's a sunny day.' poor balto; it can actually be quite lovely. amazing what we've done to this city, and much of the world. mankind's impact on the earth and itself boggles the mind. we've just finished the week-long human behavior course. one of the lectures was on drug abuse and addiction, in which we had to read an excerpt from 'the corner,' a rather famous piece about drug in baltimore. after that lecture i went home and watched traffic (courtesy of <PERSON>...still). it absolutely appalls me the magnitude of the drug problem and the depth to which it is injuring and murdering our people and society. yet isn't it all done to us by ourselves? from the movie, which was heralded as a not-so-unrealistic portrait, it paints an overwhelming picture of the drug problem in america. it was almost disheartening and discouraging. but there're lots that can and needs to be done. check this out: _URL_0_ on a lighter note, here're some great new from the world of formula one racing. jaguar team has secured two new drivers, although the rationale for bumping <PERSON> off the team is bizzare, borderlining stupid. (hopefully there are some good reasons behind it, 'cuz irvine has done respectably well for jaguar.) the r4 (next year's car) will be unveiled on january 13, 2003. best of luck to one of my favorite team. and <PERSON> is jumping on the ford wagon, becoming another ford cosworth-powered team. yeah! i've always liked the jordan team. and team arrows will be amongst the entry next year, as it has been taken over the a german company. it's a bit of a disappointment, though, 'cuz i thought it was going to be taken over by the americans, reportedly <PERSON>. arrows has always had real nice-looking cars. as for cart, it's quite a pity that so many famous teams ditched it for irl next year. in my opinion, cart is much more exciting than irl, what with its international stint, road and street courses, and big-time players that occassionaly jump over to formula and become stars. seems to me irl is somewhat of a nascar with open-wheeled racing machines; oval tracks are just not that exciting.	317,145	null	64	[ 57197, 316793, 41891, 240366, 254070, 225948, 47898, 287062, 102781, 296305, 291339, 48883, 171979, 141738, 189748, 83828, 253841, 95509, 288726, 79367, 253506, 65710, 64443, 268059, 184025, 271734, 243760, 268429, 109093, 171870, 272355, 172646, 114846, 188943, 99112, 182203, 232765, 55624, 90421, 179743, 305110, 17578, 110769, 235434, 281933, 280844, 163625, 127828, 182583, 312759, 307153, 224984, 271052, 142011, 302776, 158145, 204458, 30862, 379, 247665, 14057, 28164, 197066, 75026, 76230, 70098, 224995, 257432, 152321, 316788, 168314, 184088, 17613, 312553, 18289, 317067, 26828, 283480, 134799, 109424, 316797, 259607, 177627, 149294, 63912, 246959, 313380, 98572, 53982, 62428, 268431, 28708, 221095, 152546, 46833, 92751, 10262, 141991, 30281, 313793, 207135, 156832, 297794, 168316, 234256, 79365, 127995, 140925, 165549, 116816, 275087, 174291, 186997, 64439, 276834, 132978, 78807, 315963, 63188, 267844, 255538, 246430, 291052, 170096, 253558, 282760, 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blog_authorship_997488	wow, haven't written for a while. but since no one is reading anyway, what does it matter??? i wonder if <PERSON> reads me stuff. <PERSON>, if you're reading this, you get a prize from me. anyway, 3 more weeks until winter break; i can't wait. last night went to an NU alum meeting in DC. i guess i'm gonna be interviewing high school kids applying to NU, how exciting! DC is so nice, such a cool town. i love it. the drive there was kinda scary, though, no light or nothing on balto-wash pkwy. no billboards, either, which i guess was the point. i wish baltimore is as nice and cool as DC. everyday i want a mazda RX-8 more and more! but i want to keep <PERSON>, too. if i win the lottery, i would save 35 grand of that and buy an RX-8 in the summer. i want either a yellow or blue one, 6-speed manual, loaded, and then i'll paint the wheels flat black, lower it, put in HID lights, and turbocharge it. i've rekindled my love for japanese cars... took an exam yesterday; molecular and cell crap. i hate exams, they just come and go and make me feel violated and insulted. now i'm waiting for the clock to strike 3 to meet w/ someone to work on my clinical conference stuff. i'm so bored; i definitely need more things and people going on in my life. i miss <PERSON> my old roommate and that old antique apartment in evanston. that was so much fun. i miss evanston a great deal, though i heard it's getting snowy and cold there, much worse than here. i really miss evanston a lot, the water, the stores, the eats, the beach (even though they're fake), the yacht club and all. i don't think i really want to go back there and live, though. i miss my time there, but it wouldn't be the same if i went back there and lived and worked there now; it'd be like going back to an empty house that you grew up in. think i'll visit chicago in spring break... i want an RX-8...	317,146	null	47	[ 279900, 181660, 189004, 167680, 293897, 161571, 181317, 237008, 152390, 183238, 55151, 138761, 237017, 275493, 198175, 287932, 257612, 163091, 309359, 182114, 76184, 201737, 163749, 244146, 237012, 300406, 182996, 273095, 236996, 164920, 121833, 308833, 191567, 135356, 217922, 179564, 288434, 234898, 249922, 57602, 241084, 207183, 26981, 128776, 62653, 220358, 161330, 275497, 245222, 4688, 169772, 310367, 172619, 252172, 236995, 146412, 316230, 192039, 244061, 183997, 156331, 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blog_authorship_997488	chef <PERSON> continues to experiment with the dangeroulsy unknown. tonight i tried to make this white cheese sauce for my penne pasta. i put tunafish, milk, margarine, and spicy monterey jack cheese in the frying pan, and the result looked kinda scary. imagine cereal but instead of raisin bran it's canned tuna and cheese. immediately a voice on my shoulder said to me 'cornstarch will save this!' so i borrowed some cornstarch from one of my roommates. and the result looked kinda scary. imagine grits but instead of the white whatever it was tunafish with peppered cheese. immediately a voice on my shoulder became silent. but it turned out better, much better, and now i'm eating it.	317,147	[ 317120, 317128 ]	10	[ 19661, 32219, 223416, 24662, 5085, 291728, 60935, 227793, 227766, 227950, 276939, 32191, 256673, 101, 114422, 32243, 32275, 154758, 169815, 32285, 32241, 32229, 315557, 192851, 276937, 43421, 264180, 85889, 35608, 294186, 289736, 80434, 84083, 188525, 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blog_authorship_997488	wednesday i went skiing for the first time, up at ski liberty in pennsylvania, w/ <PERSON> and his friend. it was SO much fun! i only skied down the bunny hills, 'cuz duh i can't ski. the first run down was pretty miserable. <PERSON> helped me down, although i fell so many times quite miserably, i felt pretty stupid. and this dumb kid laughed at me, too. i should've screamed his ass out or something...kids can be such asses. but after that first embarassing run it became much easier. it helped that there was a lot of snow and it was all really soft to fall on. it really was a lot of fun, i can't believe i've never gone skiing until now. it's not like i skied well, but i think i learned the bare basics pretty fast... it really wasn't that hard. like most other things, you have to approach it as if you already kinda knew how to do it, kinda like faking it with confidence. i need to go again real soon...	317,148	null	62	[ 27097, 169399, 254524, 183558, 181970, 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blog_authorship_997488	oops, camaro's w/ 5.7l engine only came w/ 4-speed automatics today i say a very nearly perfect example of this camaro that i want. it's a 1985 iroc-z, yellow, w/ t-top. and it has only 25k ORIGINAL miles! looks so clean! wants to sell it for 12k, yeah right... it's very nice, though. i doubt any idiot will pay 12k for it, even though it's probably the cleanest camaro i've seen. so sweet. i love f-body cars. it's like hotwheels, but one that you can drive... when do i get mine?	317,149	[ 317118, 317129, 317128 ]	47	[ 224864, 266084, 121370, 108497, 189047, 216719, 63147, 245403, 12066, 53315, 38077, 125051, 211725, 261650, 247790, 157235, 1458, 287853, 125421, 108489, 141956, 248095, 13042, 269262, 146200, 232, 124802, 213571, 303404, 52861, 295491, 243365, 233600, 314910, 127135, 244534, 236811, 276682, 40351, 119928, 252172, 244525, 303787, 148236, 142001, 67335, 105032, 271599, 236178, 152296, 267446, 150533, 211184, 129035, 247186, 252578, 305466, 277062, 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blog_authorship_997488	i realized that i daydream a lot. it's fun. i was REALLY upset today that i had to come to school... today during the first lecture on neurotrophism, i got lost about half way and started daydreaming about my future car list, and wrote it down on my notebook, along with an IROC-Z logo. here it is: 1. 1987 chevy camaro IROC-Z, 5.7l, 5-speed, t-top, yellow 2. 1989 chevy corvette z51, 6-speed, competition yellow, black interior 3. 1993 mazda rx-7 r1, competition yellow 4. 1994 nissan 300zx twin turbo, 2 seater, t-top, yellow half of them are chevys, yeah. chevy used to make such cool cars. chevy thunder was the heartbeat of yesterday's america... nowadays they make mostly sad and boring cars and then during the second lecture on neurocytology ii, i daydreamed about the dvds that i want to buy. here they are: 1. breakfast club 2. <PERSON> day off 3. better off dead 4. goonies 5. back to the future 6. speed zone	317,150	null	47	[ 225066, 204676, 167000, 138372, 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blog_authorship_997488	so all these memories prompted me to think back further. last thursday i got bored and sick of my boring life, so i went to blockbuster's and rented terminator 2, a very exciting movie. (after watching it my life was still pretty not exciting) that was a 90s movie. i rarely watch 90s movies nowadays, 'cuz they're not old enough yet to be classics; in a few years. it reminds me of the time when i was growing up and all that. terminator 2 was such a cool movie. i don't know how they're going to top a shape-shifting terminator in the new one. oh ok i get it, with a woman terminator. ... it was a very nostalgic movie, really. it was all what the 90s looked like, the music, the way movies looked and felt, the streets of california, the cars, the way people looked, and all that. makes me so nostalgic, both of the time and home. i think i'm more of a 90's child than 80's child (and definitely a californian trapped on the east coast), and now i miss the 80s and 90s a lot. here i list some of the very coolest things that went on when i was growing up then: 1. atari and nintendo, sega genesis, later on, super nintendo! 2. nissan 300zx, toyota mr2, camaro iroc-z, firebird, c4 corvette, <PERSON>, prelude, and BA's van 3. ghostbusters, batman, ninja turtles, <PERSON>, and mask 4. <PERSON>, total recall, terminator, twins, kindergarten cop 5. <PERSON> shrunk the kids, back to the future, goonies! 6. <PERSON> (!), <PERSON>, <PERSON>, <PERSON> 7. the a-team, knight rider, <PERSON>, <PERSON>, magnum pi 8. america's funniest home videos, <PERSON>, who's the boss, wonder years, growing pains (this goes on and on) 9. sleep over with my cousins 10. renting friday the 13th movies, watching w/ my cousins, our eyes half-closed through most it 11. domino's pizza, because it's what ninja turtles ate 12. lego (this is before they put all to funny faces on lego figures) 13. sesame street 14. movies with <PERSON> and <PERSON> (favorite: speed zone) 15. the simpsons, wings, home improvement, saved by the bell, unsolved mysteries 16. reebok pump 17. microwave oven, the magic food box! 18. crystal pepsi (right now!) ... wow this list goes on and on. there sure are a lot to be missed, but now lost forever... like those old lego catalogs, atari games, my old pump shoes, bottles of crystal pepsi, and time spend playing with my cousins and friends. (incidentally i still have my original nintendo, the realy boxy one, stashed way in my garage somewhere) one thing i can salvage: cars. hmm... i'm gonna start buying up them used sports cars from then that were real cool and real expensive, now they're cheap. being grown up isn't half as much fun as growing up	317,151	null	246	[ 306943, 187869, 199691, 302674, 264068, 295038, 198454, 275495, 63860, 166022, 218299, 308794, 164582, 234458, 287708, 56282, 158862, 243848, 256594, 26022, 317239, 207403, 255555, 179547, 148232, 286354, 70182, 218562, 108503, 152560, 96998, 136977, 124914, 273896, 242621, 161277, 242211, 56422, 56387, 202997, 276658, 315850, 175676, 112595, 136569, 31753, 93554, 302666, 193021, 206735, 73137, 234688, 108472, 98084, 291443, 255299, 104381, 218559, 215550, 252827, 29314, 305110, 164184, 198308, 201319, 203442, 23340, 177127, 303014, 287306, 162067, 314146, 249671, 161173, 183903, 189012, 139495, 280072, 159919, 234794, 31449, 299690, 294095, 296842, 159942, 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blog_authorship_997488	<PERSON>, suddenly i feel so old. <PERSON> just got engaged, and someone else i knew already got married. and then i think about it, i'm 23 years old! what makes it weird is that i still feel like how i felt many many years ago. 16 feels like just then, but it's like 7 years ago?! how weird. 7 years ago, i was in high school back home in california. my neighborhood had peacocks prancing all over the streets, like that? our house had a big heavy wooden gate next to the garage which leads to where the garbage cans were along with other assorted junks and a tool shed. i used to be scared of getting locked in the tool shed 'cuz it's hot and had spiders in it. in front of the garage is a very steep driveway, 'cuz our house sat a bit higher from the street on the hugo reid side. it was a corner house. the other side actually sat lower. the neighborhood was hilly. when i was 16 i took my driving lesson. my instructor was this hispanic dude named <PERSON> who showed up in a crappy corolla with two sets of pedals. 'there's another guy at your high school living around here taking my lesson, name's <PERSON>,' <PERSON> said. '<PERSON>? what a stupid name,' i said. it was a pretty funny name. at my 3rd and last lesson he pointed to a woman when we drove down colorado bulevard and said she was a prostitute. as i slowed down and pulled over (as instructed by <PERSON>), he suddenly told me to keep driving and not stop. 'it's an undercover cop,' <PERSON> said. 'oh yeah? how'd you know?' i asked. ''cuz i've got cops in the family.' hmm, right. when i was 16 and a half i brave-heartedly made an appointment at the pasadena dmv on rosemead blvd for a road test. twice the stupid dmv testers failed me, but i nailed them down on my 3rd and last attempt and got my driver's license. my only regrets are that i acted too nicely to those dmv bureaucrat narcs and i gave a dumb smile when i took my picture. that picture haunts me for many years. that was the year 1995. or was it 96?	317,152	null	223	[ 149652, 251658, 219283, 116479, 233927, 218290, 177120, 210694, 152258, 108398, 204948, 286396, 183255, 170096, 62159, 288436, 172926, 270588, 160045, 310416, 162067, 124873, 108241, 247786, 263504, 231561, 201963, 312807, 210411, 83701, 152451, 201440, 202903, 82499, 116994, 248968, 139416, 295971, 250983, 1381, 308860, 141766, 152503, 28706, 142770, 245360, 27303, 216473, 162052, 246581, 244097, 230406, 261329, 157684, 193631, 236995, 232096, 152142, 231974, 48401, 121498, 89664, 237504, 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blog_authorship_997488	holy cow. the blizzard of 2003 is the most snow i have ever seen in my life! hopefully will ever, too. the flurry started saturday night, or was if friday night? quite many days ago anyway. needless to say, my sex class over valentine's weekend was canceled! yes! by sunday morning, it had piled up and over connie parked down the street, and there was no way nothing was gonna be open. church was, of course canceled. i actually wasn't gonna go anyway; was gonna go to national cathedral, kinda. anyway, 26.8 inches by yesterday afternoon! some places near balto got as many as 40 inches! i wish i wish it'll keep snowing, snow out the rest of the week! snowed so much feels like apocalypse. so much fun unfortunately, the sun has come out just now. rats. meaning snow's gonna start to melt. rats. rats ratz. if i were living in the 'burbs and had friends, i'd go out and go crazy in the snow	317,153	null	237	[ 39811, 188842, 9926, 8383, 314190, 290760, 181939, 295508, 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blog_authorship_997488	i used to like birds. they're kinda nice, all colorful and flying and all. but now i HATE birds!!! disgusting animals. i'm so mad at birds. today after icp i walked to my truck to get my thomas guide out of it, and to my horror <PERSON>'s hood is covered with bird poop. it was just like last time, but last time i parked on the other side of the same street. it's as if the friggin' birds decided to make a toilet out of <PERSON>. i wish i can take a gun and shoot them all down...	317,154	null	197	[ 1331, 138151, 255381, 233733, 173837, 14246, 8178, 150878, 76013, 9572, 236181, 230399, 220696, 124476, 22134, 210480, 261531, 76058, 50382, 83736, 144807, 311177, 24494, 245236, 150168, 173859, 142210, 2584, 220688, 158292, 302062, 45454, 283353, 157857, 180177, 214076, 108193, 260958, 219766, 223497, 228129, 102990, 57881, 12645, 202998, 295719, 233670, 76044, 15647, 240930, 220697, 95709, 223576, 14322, 87559, 208429, 146005, 292463, 276072, 23275, 215318, 119150, 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blog_authorship_997488	today after church everyone went to have lunch at a 4th year <PERSON>'s house nearby. she made us vegetarian chili; it was so good. i think i'll look up some chili recipes. we stayed there for a while and chatted until around 3. it was really fun. <PERSON>, <PERSON>, <PERSON>, <PERSON>, and <PERSON> were there. <PERSON>'s roommate was in peace corps in mangolia, and she told us some stuff about it. peace corps sounds really cool, and i'm kinda interested. afterwards <PERSON> and i went to the goodwill store and i bought a $20 tv. i looked on the back, and it said it was manufactured october 1983. sweet. it had really good reception on fox when it was in the store, and that's the most important thing, 'cuz fox has all the best shows. but when i brought it home up to my penthouse on the 3rd floor, it didn't get as good a reception on fox =( but i guess at least it has the sound, and that's half of it. i also got goya mexican rice and 2 boxes of corn bread mix (25 cents a box!). i miss LA so much...	317,155	null	227	[ 286417, 218290, 308834, 208553, 296809, 24623, 186990, 272296, 298633, 315873, 199387, 72989, 274953, 215481, 215494, 308818, 207509, 111170, 312292, 218296, 270135, 308860, 252463, 63898, 275495, 206406, 309482, 308790, 164926, 214130, 308844, 183653, 158286, 158255, 308831, 308808, 263297, 308877, 108243, 189636, 228804, 263382, 76886, 184765, 224172, 192166, 308863, 148504, 308858, 173443, 172606, 287308, 312700, 4408, 138327, 108434, 138744, 269260, 76230, 210391, 228589, 252462, 308897, 274970, 111630, 244117, 155488, 183284, 173446, 218305, 308806, 189698, 83435, 295603, 147432, 82225, 305188, 185722, 218286, 308815, 169449, 59879, 308807, 252182, 110838, 121470, 252245, 100570, 295979, 147603, 142943, 264292, 275410, 139495, 168286, 29224, 274951, 153322, 185970, 274949, 236879, 288436, 308798, 309480, 266024, 152375, 173504, 25152, 83691, 66657, 183841, 312729, 209826, 159928, 110765, 227868, 274945, 312784, 183450, 309328, 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blog_authorship_997488	hmph... i couldn't think of anything to write. blogs are stupid. so i'll describe my dream house. my dream house is actually not a house, but more of a loft/garage. it'd be kinda like a small office/warehouse building in a nice industrial park kind of town, like parts of irvine. it'd be about 1.5 stories tall, with the square footage of a medium-sized house. there'd be, of course, a decent sized parking area and grass around the house, 'cuz it'd originally be an office buidling. the inside would be real phat. i'd take out all the walls save all the weight bearing structures, and convert the inside into a giant garage/showroom/workshop space. it'd have to be big enough for cars to drive around in. there'd be a reeling garage door at the side not facing the street. i'd install a basic lift, a nice tool bench at one end of the house, and all the stuff for a basic garage so i can work on my car inside. at the other end would be the living area. the kitchen, dining room, living room, a small library/den/lounge, and all that are all exposed and opened up to the rest of the house/garage. there'd be a loft for my bedroom, probably over the living area instead of the cars, with a cool staircase up it. there'd be a few skylights, too. basically, take your typical lab-like track race shop, blow it up to the size of a house, add all the stuff one needs to live in, and there it is. i figure a set up like this wouldn't cost more than a regular house. it'd just be highly unusual. it'd be really avant garde, too. one day... and here's the list dream garage cars: -rx-8 (fe17) -85-92 camaro (especially iroc-z) -fd3s rx-7 -90-94 300zx tt (z32) -84-89 corvette coupe (c4) -93-02 camaro (96 on, ss) -94-95 mr2 turbo -82-89 firebird trans am -57 nomad -63-67 corvette sting ray (c2) -corvette zr1 (c4) -a real souped up atenza -03 svt cobra convertible -69-70 shelby gt500 -2nd gen crx -3rd and 4th gen prelude -gmc typhoon -series I jag e-type -saleen s351 speedster -series II elise -nsx -r34 skyline gt-r v-spec II -fiero -f355 gts -65 malibu ss z16 (rare!) -64-69 gto -k5 blazer/original gmc jimmy -jeep wagoneer -03 mustang gt convertible geez, that's a long list. but it's only a dream list. and most of it would be used cars, some of them very used. that's what my place will be for. one day...	317,156	null	47	[ 49984, 25085, 13148, 227859, 10561, 71245, 73687, 249524, 276843, 246646, 133561, 307529, 42668, 18183, 126152, 199212, 165924, 156189, 60877, 9579, 265274, 24630, 35083, 59472, 126153, 237418, 108249, 71254, 15188, 156226, 295560, 128479, 90622, 157169, 248808, 217010, 251657, 81368, 241208, 21429, 24650, 88790, 63147, 156187, 46700, 173714, 199722, 15851, 9572, 27324, 80922, 160677, 93372, 71239, 79406, 189291, 81941, 171866, 149655, 313102, 240399, 6923, 241178, 245396, 109307, 15832, 124854, 124525, 148888, 114427, 254518, 34087, 12549, 316003, 25065, 210105, 34006, 138263, 99263, 255758, 112695, 291114, 213152, 259698, 313220, 316012, 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blog_authorship_997488	last night i decided to rent a video. warehouse doesn't have 99-cent rentals anymore, that's really annoying. i didn't really know what i wanted to see, so i lingered at the video store for a while. it came down to <PERSON> and commander, <PERSON>, <PERSON> and <PERSON>, or the last <PERSON>. i really wanted to get more than one, but i got only the last emperor. i had seen it w/ my parents when it first came out. i was like eight at the time, and i remember watching the first scene and waking up when the movie's over. anyhoo, the dvd is three and a half hours long! but it really was very good. it's incredible. i hope it's pretty accurate, i think it is. chinese history is so fascinating, and so sad. the story was really intriguing, but it was soooo sad. but now i want to go to china that much more. i'm really into my roots thing now. <PERSON>, that's the last emperor's name, actually wrote an autobiography. i want to read that. and his tutor, this scottish guy, also wrote a book about it, and i want to read that, too. the movie is filled with so many poignant moments, one of them is the depiction of china after <PERSON> was released from the communist prison, when he went out and saw the people and all that. people were so poor, and there was this parade that was just ridiculous. communism really screwed over the chinese people. it's so sad. anyway, i watched the whole thing last night and didn't doze off this time. this is something that i wouldn't've been able to appreciate when i was younger	317,157	[ 317118, 317120 ]	184	[ 97266, 252245, 158452, 259358, 118957, 135509, 237727, 198671, 161420, 143965, 112616, 229160, 165124, 308294, 147153, 231736, 206251, 262106, 281649, 124783, 91751, 248681, 113184, 252848, 252173, 176528, 228889, 17302, 27097, 56282, 135672, 62758, 160025, 193988, 142854, 125705, 207689, 308831, 236995, 312894, 212366, 126834, 313838, 313055, 226370, 209449, 213895, 181530, 252182, 312118, 308825, 142915, 189527, 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blog_authorship_997488	watched the bourne supremacy yesterday at pacific hasting's 60-foot screen. i was at the library for a while, just couldn't study, was in a real real bad mood, and felt like crap, so decided to go and escape myself. half way into the movie i felt sick to my stomach. it was like someone hand-held the camera thruout the whole movie, it was ridiculous. i once mounted a camcorder to my r/c truck and produced the same nauseating effect. when i came out, i felt like i could throw up	317,158	[ 317120 ]	159	[ 242893, 138845, 107352, 297300, 89035, 3850, 247815, 265754, 161615, 259211, 58033, 285151, 214157, 277963, 198011, 253762, 88015, 263107, 205648, 308439, 190414, 159311, 42652, 206307, 40549, 165519, 163381, 194178, 58064, 63097, 264768, 140022, 279490, 11244, 212785, 258430, 141517, 190169, 316509, 264444, 70215, 176758, 245118, 135397, 195275, 53531, 2401, 179592, 207569, 198745, 179881, 108165, 60559, 160045, 63860, 158464, 306548, 175461, 258426, 25132, 315152, 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blog_authorship_997488	i've come back to blogs fire truck. my life sucks at this moment. ever wish you were somebody else? i don't think i wish that. i just wish people in my life now were better people, and good people in my life then whom i loved had never left. life can be such a bitch. when you're dealt a rotten card and it's not a game, words cannot describe how much that sucks. harmony is a wonderful thing that i always took for granted, though come to think of it, there hasn't really been too much harmony in my life since mom died. now i feel even worse, 'cuz i know there are countless people out there who have it worse than me. more than ever, i wish my life was a movie...'cuz then something ridiculous can happen but more than likely there'll be some kind of decent happy ending. i'm experiencing a mid-20's crisis right now. somebody rescue me	317,159	null	113	[ 254203, 160767, 53431, 317153, 193554, 279671, 207488, 257640, 142739, 226124, 230723, 302388, 246857, 18518, 316230, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well lets see tonight theres a show but i dont think im going cuz <PERSON> an idiot and my dad already left the house so now im stuck here bored with the whole house to myself trashed my own house party cuz nobody came yea riiiight anyway today i think i had a bad day a) cuz im not going out tonight i dont think and b) <PERSON> dumb and pissed me off cuz hes stupid and does stupid shit but yea o well i dont even care its ok anyway yea im soo fuckin bored and theres nothing to do i ordered my shirts today man that was difficult i got an adicts shirt, the unseen, dropkick murphys, and the cheer up emo kid one yay i no im so happy yea im on the phone with <PERSON> woo hoo im eating tuna fish...yay ok thats enough lovew ya babe	317,160	[ 317320, 317219 ]	122	[ 272377, 181484, 256174, 181476, 264569, 172707, 181483, 181498, 181431, 181489, 181503, 181448, 181490, 181441, 172689, 172764, 181465, 181391, 250680, 181381, 181463, 256175, 256176, 181332, 181392, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea wow im REALLY bored and theres notihng to do and since i have no friends i have no one to talk to u i have to call <PERSON> tonight cuz i need to talk to her about a problem im having about liking a certain someone cuz im dumb and it gets me mad! ahh i hate myself for it anyway moving on todays thanksgiving YAY not really it was dumb but i went skiing which was sooo much fun! i love it so much and that was like the first time in a year but i got up the first time so i was cool yea wel thats my day stupid <PERSON> isnt online cuz hes dumb and got grounded <PERSON> hes so stupid its ok tho well thats is love ya guys bye	317,161	[ 317198 ]	122	[ 181481, 181484, 181476, 264569, 272377, 181483, 181490, 188369, 183254, 181409, 181392, 181406, 181474, 156453, 181267, 250679, 79906, 181381, 181401, 250696, 256176, 183253, 84448, 172764, 181500, 172800, 172737, 181423, 185114, 181402, 218222, 279398, 147190, 206341, 250677, 256174, 272378, 181368, 183255, 183257, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well im in photo and i just got done doing my powerpoint man o man its cute ha last night i like didnt talk to <PERSON> at all it was kinda weird he had to go out to eat or something and it was like 1030 and i didnt feel like sitting online and waiting for him anymore so i signef off and went to sleep ha it was weird! yea well today is the last day of school yea off for a whole week exciting not really im not gonna do anything but sit on my ass and sleep ha my new goal is to get a 6 pack well actually thats been my goal for a long time but i never really actually tired so now im gonna try for real the first stage is called purifiy the body yea and i can do it if i really try and im actually going to so there yea well i dunno i talked to <PERSON> alot last night it was kinda odd but o well ha hes so hot hahah yea but i dunno anyway i think im gonna stop now cuz i have to study for bio next block alright love ya babe	317,162	[ 317276, 317224, 317135, 317182 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well i dunno im bored nothing to do nothing at all i worked out yea im cool im talking to <PERSON> wow im even cooler well today was BORING nothing exciting at all so yea i dunno im listening to MADCAP woo hoo they remind me of <PERSON> ha yea but anyway i dunno in about 10 minutes im gonna go take a shower and do some studying i have a bio test and a spanish one boo to that i wonder when the next show is hmm i dunno? yea but anyway ok yea	317,163	[ 317198, 317135, 317172, 317224, 317182, 317219, 317354, 317200, 317306, 317209, 317333, 317320, 317201, 317199 ]	213	[ 181498, 181384, 181404, 181484, 181476, 181483, 181464, 181473, 163215, 181399, 181420, 181503, 181452, 181368, 181332, 181463, 181497, 181487, 181417, 181479, 181407, 187867, 181448, 283387, 181465, 181459, 181507, 181471, 181481, 181480, 181270, 181258, 181509, 181478, 181460, 172755, 181454, 144579, 181412, 223925, 181366, 181391, 181386, 172707, 181510, 181364, 181508, 264566, 300255, 163181, 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blog_authorship_998237	'So Many Ways' There must be so many ways to say goodbye I'm breaking up again But just when I thought I could hear her voice It echoes in my head I'm sorry if I say the wrong things I'm sorry if you feel that I don't want you anymore But how can I believe any words that she says to me When everything comes out wrong She's built and torn down anyone that gets close to her heart To her heart There must be so many ways to say goodbye But I can't seem to think of one this time So many ways to say goodbye Even if she isn't mine I'm still losing my mind She's calling me again But I was so convinced I'd never hear her voice She says hello How can you ever breathe without me Cause I can see this happening all over again I think I want it to How can I believe any words that she says to me When everything comes out wrong She's built and torn down anyone that gets close to her heart There must be so many ways to say goodbye But I can't seem to think of one this time There must be so many ways to say goodbye Even if she isn't mine I'm still losing my mind She's built and torn down anyone She's built and torn down anyone that comes close to her heart To her heart There must be so many ways to say goodbye But I can't seem to think of one this time So many ways to say goodbye Even if she isn't mine I'm still losing my mind	317,164	[ 317260, 317137, 317276, 317352, 317176, 317277, 317284, 317217, 317246, 317366, 317134, 317169, 317308, 317322, 317356, 317147, 317234, 317211, 317175, 317350, 317354, 317133, 317156, 317313, 317271, 317213, 317288, 317294, 317349, 317191, 317311, 317340, 317344, 317253, 317142, 317278, 317203, 317353, 317218, 317357, 317255, 317219, 317362, 317149, 317336, 317220, 317307, 317333, 317348, 317342 ]	250	[ 303364, 208528, 254418, 226549, 201754, 197652, 243664, 268638, 63159, 226126, 195874, 4485, 246532, 246535, 223804, 135946, 211934, 46662, 165084, 137401, 154141, 252857, 156953, 182810, 302778, 140705, 241538, 187119, 150271, 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blog_authorship_998237	the grandparents left and <PERSON> is home YAY! im so happy but yea nothing realyl exciting me and <PERSON> had a heart to heart pretty funny we talked about mom and school and volleyball and stuff yea i think theres a show tonight but i dont wanna go im not in the mood to do anything <PERSON> called my phone but im a rebel and didnt answer it cuz i was talking to my daddy like 1 month til christmas im so excitied i have to call <PERSON> tonight cuz i havent talked to her in awhile and <PERSON> needs me to talk to her about some stuff yes but o well im pretty bored i was gonna go work out but i started and then <PERSON> came home and now my legs hurt so i was like no dont feel like it ut i dunno my tummy hurts i need some midol hmm i forgot where i put it and i need to clean my room and i want to call <PERSON> hmm i wonder if i have any homework? maybe i think i might go do that and then call <PERSON> and clean my room ok sounds good	317,165	[ 317276 ]	122	[ 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well i just got back it was fun not that bad we called <PERSON> but nothing was going on so we chilled at the mall and i got my picture taken with <PERSON> hehehe and i was walkin around askin people 'ill play u a song for a 1$' hahaha it was funny and then we went to the beach and met this guy named <PERSON> haha he was from wisconsin haha yea it was pretty cool it wasnt that fun but it was better then stayin home ya no? but o well i have to take a shower so peace	317,166	[ 317135, 317209, 317276, 317282, 317306, 317194, 317196, 317166, 317185, 317200, 317249, 317354, 317172, 317359, 317224, 317353, 317333, 317317 ]	74	[ 204018, 251848, 204027, 244446, 263604, 204014, 263614, 275555, 204012, 206406, 143667, 163182, 204019, 311526, 83435, 204008, 300258, 251851, 154086, 154070, 154065, 244439, 223927, 154057, 204028, 263618, 285007, 154063, 300262, 154079, 206388, 260179, 263625, 297570, 221782, 178876, 231973, 187708, 272377, 300257, 204016, 251854, 154076, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well im goin out tonight i didnt feel like it but then i decided hey what else am i going to do on this lovely saturday night? so i decided i would go to the rather boring skatepark and sit around as i did the night before funny how things turn out isnt it? well i am doubtful that i will actually have any real fun tonight maybe i will hey u never know <PERSON> should be here with her little friend <PERSON> hmm <PERSON> i have never met this girl before in my life interesting but yea im sure it will be better then i expect but hey o well at least im not sitting at home with my lonesome self well guys i must depart i love u all very much and hope to see u soon hahaha thats funny yea well merry christmas and to all a goodnight	317,167	null	74	[ 193316, 187867, 272377, 172668, 90197, 204026, 193311, 210705, 249084, 148261, 223911, 194137, 218675, 272379, 260987, 204036, 139474, 172681, 183589, 251524, 269738, 300254, 283387, 181476, 172766, 300256, 181274, 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blog_authorship_998237	fuck im having such a bad day i had usa south try outs today fuck that yea well i made the team i guess i dunno there making a naples team but its like all the fucking rejects that have never played before so im like ok this is nice i mean fucking freshman r playing for <PERSON> and im stuck on the damn naples team hmm maybe i am that bad i dunno? but it doesnt make any sense i mean i made 14As last year and made JV this year yet theres people that played 14Cs and didnt even make the freshman team that r playing on the better team does that make sense but u no what i dont think i even care i just feel like shit cuz i fuckin worked my ass off for like 2 years and now this is like a kick in the face but whatever i mean i made a team and its in naples so i can play but still im not happy and to top it all off i get my damn period when i get home and now i feel all fat and worthless fuck i hate my life the grandparents r pissing me off and all i wanna do is go in my room and cry o wait i already am fuck i feel like nobody cares about me see look this is what happens i get down on myself for something dumb and then i get even more upset and start beating <PERSON> up over something even dumber fuck im really stupid i dunno i just need to talk to someone but nope i dont think i have anyone i could actually talk to without feeling stupid but i dunno i dont no whats wrong with me but now im sitting here ready to kill someone in tears over something dumb but its really pissing me off but i dunno o well im suppose to go by <PERSON> house tonight and i dont no <PERSON> number and i need to call her damn it and <PERSON> not on and i need to talk to him to but o well i think im gonna go and curl up on my bed and cry for a good hour then im gonna take a shower and go to sleep that sounds nice yea	317,168	[ 317320, 317224, 317182, 317198, 317219 ]	82	[ 181464, 181476, 198231, 228816, 236609, 272377, 181279, 199405, 181469, 286706, 286694, 228809, 49671, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea on the phone with <PERSON> i no haha we arent talking about anything he wants me to talk to <PERSON> but i wont hahah yea cuz im a rebel like that haha yea ahh hes pissing me off he always makes me feel so stupid haha yea o well tho he just completly lowers my self esteem straight to the ground o well im gonna go love ya babe	317,169	[ 317182, 317209, 317243, 317320, 317224, 317276, 317344, 317219, 317260, 317306 ]	124	[ 244510, 181391, 181366, 250677, 181392, 181476, 204018, 300257, 228186, 181423, 181493, 256176, 181497, 250678, 143665, 250696, 181485, 188369, 251851, 181490, 181375, 147351, 181478, 181258, 181406, 204014, 228182, 168861, 181412, 283387, 268303, 181399, 187867, 181404, 181486, 181491, 181395, 181459, 250672, 250679, 183276, 172724, 242926, 264569, 204027, 198030, 256184, 181388, 181381, 181483, 250692, 228192, 181417, 181443, 228178, 172686, 256174, 242920, 244505, 181471, 181368, 251848, 181479, 90197, 181394, 294760, 181402, 233203, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well its 233 and im bored i need to clean my room and work out today i have til 4 to work out so in like 5 minutes ill get up and clean my room and fold my laundry and then go running and go work out yea woo hoo sounds like a plan man well today my day was super duper boring nothing exciting happened except <PERSON> said that i had phone sex with <PERSON> last night and her and that <PERSON> kid were making fun of me not nice not nice at all hahaha <PERSON> just walked in here stood in the doorway for about 5 minutes and turned around and went back into his room wow thats funny but yea anyway im gonna go now i love ya <PERSON>	317,170	[ 317224 ]	122	[ 181368, 250679, 181402, 181498, 223927, 181321, 181455, 181490, 233405, 181401, 181476, 172766, 181448, 181493, 279625, 198030, 300262, 181484, 250680, 218284, 228804, 172737, 29143, 283387, 154683, 181399, 181417, 154688, 263614, 218293, 178363, 172736, 181404, 225981, 181464, 243243, 218278, 183410, 181412, 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blog_authorship_998237	well im sitting in the libary not the one at school the one they built buy <PERSON> house this thing is HUGE i got like lost but hey o well yea well i tried to find a book but i gave up on that and then i found the computers so i was like yay! but this keyboard sucks butt anyway yea i saw that kid that looks like <PERSON> omg its unbelieveable how much he looks like him except he doesnt have red hair other then that they could be twins its kinda scary ha what if his name is <PERSON> 2 wow that would be nuts hahah yea anyway im so bored its only 235 another hour till i get to go home damn it i wanna go home now i cant wait till i get a car so i can go home right away yay! but yea anyways this computer realyl sucks yea yea yea ha my day was so boring nothing exciting happened nothing at all but yea i have a test tomorrow in history woo hoo yea im so not gonna study cuz im a rebel like that hahahah right on yea well i dunno this is so dumb so i think im gonna stop now ok ok well I LOVE YA BABE!!!!!!	317,171	[ 317320, 317135, 317182, 317276 ]	138	[ 181476, 181493, 181404, 181464, 181368, 283387, 181481, 181410, 181403, 181401, 181498, 181473, 181490, 193316, 181408, 267493, 193311, 181483, 181459, 223927, 282895, 181453, 181485, 181279, 181443, 181391, 181402, 181392, 298231, 181332, 272377, 181384, 298227, 181417, 172737, 181497, 172703, 181486, 181448, 181469, 181282, 223926, 181389, 223930, 181484, 181487, 181441, 172686, 181409, 181364, 238308, 300258, 181463, 181467, 181478, 181438, 181445, 181406, 181423, 244510, 181388, 181381, 279625, 193306, 172764, 187867, 181413, 286905, 172767, 181471, 147351, 183276, 181258, 181455, 250677, 249086, 172707, 181395, 272395, 218291, 172803, 181431, 218678, 181399, 233405, 264566, 277128, 181412, 181375, 144579, 181299, 243243, 264569, 163215, 181479, 298226, 272657, 242926, 256174, 269772, 250678, 181452, 230600, 172695, 181500, 31641, 178363, 181283, 181454, 250680, 172755, 242909, 181418, 181489, 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blog_authorship_998237	i dunno? yea im in photo woo hoo i had to do my biology project and mr <PERSON> helped me out ha what a nice guy yea anyways boo im so bored i still have to do some of my biology but its not due till the end of the day yea well <PERSON> left and im stuck with the grandparents for the week and club tryouts r on saturday yea <PERSON> is driving me and friday im going to the skatepark and sunday theres a show haha i saw <PERSON> today YAY! but yea i dunno i HAVE to call <PERSON> tonight i havent talked to her in like forever will that was the bell i have to go love ya babe bye	317,172	[ 317276 ]	234	[ 181404, 181498, 181420, 181476, 181384, 181479, 181399, 181484, 181464, 181366, 300259, 181483, 181368, 181490, 181453, 181441, 181481, 181486, 181413, 300255, 181507, 283387, 181459, 181487, 181473, 181258, 181417, 223930, 144579, 181465, 282895, 181480, 181463, 172737, 300256, 264566, 300258, 181391, 181392, 249088, 181445, 300254, 181448, 181497, 187867, 223927, 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blog_authorship_998237	damn it im so bored! theres nothing to do im bored!!!!!!!!!!!! blah blah blah well i have this damn biology project i have to do but i dont feel like doin it yet o well i dunno mother is here kinda boring nothing exciting the father is gone for the weekend and the grandparents r here YAY! actually no nothing to YAY! about well u no what im gonna stop writing in this dumb thing cuz i dont like it so yea GOODBYE	317,173	[ 317198, 317320, 317224, 317201, 317200, 317219, 317220, 317276, 317182 ]	122	[ 143672, 294702, 172681, 282895, 181503, 264549, 172666, 264568, 264569, 172724, 295265, 181010, 183624, 264563, 181265, 198231, 272380, 312261, 181484, 181406, 181476, 277128, 275810, 162672, 263384, 236744, 260985, 53294, 53369, 161754, 53405, 229045, 182217, 181465, 186068, 155800, 153781, 212380, 273260, 150570, 229171, 181332, 26058, 176770, 187711, 53356, 266099, 262486, 187874, 224321, 181364, 182242, 53315, 276111, 234037, 275819, 53401, 271055, 181320, 291336, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well i just got home hahaha today was boring haha in biology that damn kid was talking about my butt <PERSON> and he was saying how hot i look and the hott one that sits behind me turns around and is like yea u r hott im like shut up and then they say that there not joking so i was like ah booo haha yea thats soo funny <PERSON> and <PERSON> are never used in the same sentence hahaha o well anyway im bored and i have to work out today ah i had a test today in spanish holy shit i failed it yea i did unless im just really lucky and get a C hey i dont care ill find out tomorrow hehe i have a cute outfit on right now....my short jean skirt with a black shirt with a pink one underneath hehe its cute yea so i dunno im gonna lay in bed and watch some tv haha cuz im a bum oooooo yea im NOT doing softball anymore ha i just dont feel like doing it anymore and ooo yea ok well im out peace holla love ya babe	317,174	[ 317276, 317224 ]	138	[ 181490, 181476, 181464, 283387, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well im in photo <PERSON> and im bored i was printing this picture but got frustrated and gave up haha yea and now the bell is gonna ring in likee 4 minutes ha o well i have <PERSON> next i think we are doing a lab at least i hope so yea well last night i was on the phone with <PERSON> yea he was pissing me off i dunno y tho? o well hes not anymore it lasted like a whole 2 minutes ha yea hes suppose to write out are life story HAHAHAHA its soo funny i hope he didnt forget that would be dumb of him yea but ha i cant wait to read it hahah YAY! but i duno 1 month and 11 days till christmas i cant wait and if stupid <PERSON> is gonna be gone and i wont be able to see him im gonna cry! really that would suck some major balls but i duno o well the bell is gonna ring so im gonna go peace out holla love ya babe	317,175	[ 317276 ]	124	[ 181476, 181404, 181384, 181392, 181473, 181483, 181493, 181417, 282895, 181391, 181490, 181368, 283387, 300256, 300257, 181464, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well its like 603 and i just got done working out o i no im just so hott yea but i dunno im sorts bored and im talkin to <PERSON> hes complaining how he got kicked in the leg hahaha what a girl <PERSON> hahahah anyway today was so boring o well yea well thats really it i have way to much homework tonight and a spanish test tomorrow so ill write in this thingy later love ya babe	317,176	[ 317224, 317276, 317182, 317135, 317209, 317243, 317320 ]	138	[ 181476, 181420, 147351, 300255, 181412, 283387, 181406, 181399, 181390, 181431, 282895, 181409, 181368, 181490, 181493, 300257, 300259, 300254, 181464, 272377, 264569, 181401, 181384, 163215, 181483, 300258, 181391, 181448, 181508, 218678, 181481, 300256, 256174, 181366, 181486, 181258, 269772, 172766, 198030, 286410, 181417, 181497, 181402, 250678, 256176, 181503, 181507, 90197, 181375, 188369, 285111, 272371, 267472, 181365, 181392, 181364, 181487, 181498, 144579, 300262, 181388, 181459, 267506, 181404, 183276, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well its like 1000 and im in photo i no im such a rebel hahaha not reallly but i can pretend i have a bio test next block and i sorta studied not really tho o well i should get at least a C ha i went to guidence today and fixed my schedule i no im so cool but i dunno last night i talk to <PERSON> on the phone i really dont remeber what we talked about....nothing special i dont think? i duno thats weird i think i have altimers hahaha sure right ha im on 2 computers right now im such a rebel haha not really man o man im so bored AH! there listening to ghetto rapness wow ugly i cant stand that crap yea thats what its called CRAP! hahah wow i think softball is today AHHHH omg i dont like....cant say but she smells hahahaha hehehehe yea but i duno? im really really bored but yea anyway haha i have a green shirt on ooooh yea i remember what we talked about haha he said i should wear a green shirt and show some irish pride ha to bad im not irish well i might be i really dont no haha yea and do i care NO NO NO NO yea well 20 more minutes tell <PERSON> i think im gonna try and get some studying in lets see if that works well im out PEACE holla! love ya babe	317,177	[ 317224, 317276 ]	138	[ 283387, 181476, 187867, 84279, 272377, 181464, 181368, 181431, 181410, 181459, 181392, 181417, 181453, 187874, 181381, 172686, 181299, 143665, 181441, 201774, 181473, 172723, 181463, 181366, 181364, 181413, 172737, 181420, 181419, 250677, 181503, 181279, 181487, 244506, 228186, 181406, 181394, 181384, 293643, 193311, 84448, 213719, 181402, 181483, 199405, 181409, 144579, 172681, 282895, 90197, 250620, 147351, 183589, 181471, 163215, 185121, 244510, 181469, 181484, 300257, 181398, 84473, 183276, 181388, 264569, 181390, 218678, 272378, 181493, 283436, 181448, 152465, 147376, 223775, 188363, 250680, 84390, 237154, 181490, 168870, 300259, 172788, 193316, 181429, 198021, 267794, 185137, 187830, 300254, 147375, 172759, 299628, 172724, 148155, 155508, 181436, 279625, 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blog_authorship_998237	u no im such a loser damn it i attempted to study for bio but as u can see i got bored ha yea did u no 78% of the atmosphere is made up of nitrogen neato huh? well u no this is soo dumb im so bored another whole hour till <PERSON> comes back damn it hahaha this is so dumb anyway yea man im bored cant u tell? hahaha wow i have no life hahaha im so bored wow how many times have i said that wow this is so gay i wrote in this stupid thing like 100 times and i started it like an hour ago wow but u no this is so much easier then writing in my book haha but at least my book is prettier i mean i have fruit on this thing and i dont even think that green thing is a fruit then hmm what is it? ha i dunno? my tummy hurts and i wanna talk to <PERSON> haha i love my random thoughts i have ill be like talking about one thing and then all of a sudden ill write some random thing down like...bananas r yellow bam there i go agian hahaha anyway u no who is really hott tony haha yea he is but u no what i	317,178	[ 317224, 317182, 317135, 317198 ]	255	[ 283387, 181464, 213719, 187711, 218558, 246572, 188376, 53313, 90197, 84471, 181476, 84473, 279395, 162727, 250680, 183176, 198030, 187874, 183589, 181401, 275499, 154686, 201774, 272377, 187716, 188369, 275792, 187867, 252246, 181459, 267485, 183508, 274178, 281481, 187709, 228304, 282895, 195339, 84387, 181483, 186154, 195343, 176895, 263384, 228305, 267505, 181498, 300262, 53315, 264569, 236744, 181478, 271547, 181463, 228625, 244502, 188372, 250663, 152312, 238007, 184933, 267472, 187793, 272371, 178373, 260176, 228307, 293068, 161822, 198225, 148960, 252339, 183612, 277288, 172783, 298231, 143673, 299627, 181453, 275224, 181487, 293060, 244441, 84213, 300257, 139385, 244442, 194356, 195384, 29191, 223927, 178387, 275811, 183187, 155508, 155515, 285111, 218224, 152390, 251221, 204009, 181500, 268441, 188303, 247628, 250684, 233805, 234777, 212366, 267506, 244506, 279391, 204038, 204008, 26058, 139434, 287174, 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blog_authorship_998237	haha well its been like 2 minutes since i last wrote in this damn thing yea i have nothing better to do but i have decided alot in the past 20 minutes A) im fat B) my family doesnt like me and would disown me if they had the chance C) nobody loves me anymore D) i have no friends hahaha man im a weirdo but u no its OOOOOOOK i can be a loner haha cuz i dont love anyone cuz love is for girls and girls are disgusting im a loner a wide eyed loner on a space trip to mars but on the way there i caught cornflakes disease HAHAHAHA YAY! hahaha <PERSON> UR MY HERO!!!!!! ok anyway ew i think <PERSON> is a lesbian shes always talking about them and stuff eww what if shes all into me and on day she will hit on me and ill get scared ew hahaha well at least i can get a girl HAHAHA <PERSON> <PERSON> omg i heart <PERSON> ahahahhaahahhahahahahaah yea i do what what what dont call me a loser hahahaha yea well thats enought im out PEACE hollA	317,179	null	239	[ 200221, 90197, 294770, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well u no its like 729 and i have no life so im sitting at home nothing exciting going on im really bored i was talking to <PERSON> but no he left me boo ha i dont care anyway 1 month and 13 days till christmas im soooooo excitied! u have no idea yea mother got my tickets already im so happy YAY! well today school sucked some butt nothign exciting going on ahh softball was today but i dont think i wanna do it anymore plus im lazy well i think thats it i have to study for biology i have a damn test tomorrow boo to that and maybe ill get some situps in tonight who knows? i think im gonna give my good old buddy <PERSON> a call or maybe <PERSON>? <PERSON> wins ok well i love ya babe <PERSON>	317,180	[ 317276 ]	138	[ 181476, 181464, 138596, 181436, 148919, 272377, 181279, 300254, 98624, 181288, 152465, 277127, 148921, 79918, 185145, 263384, 148896, 181299, 181404, 181347, 277128, 182165, 90197, 252448, 198030, 172686, 181392, 275819, 244510, 181390, 152411, 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blog_authorship_998237	well yea i have been hanging out wityh the cross guys for the past 2 days there fun i think we are goin out with them <PERSON> theres something wrong with <PERSON> she has some type of mental imbalance of some sort in her head i dont no shes like all depressed suicidal i dont no tho o well anywho i dont think i can go out if <PERSON> cant pick me up i think i should talk to her oo well goodnight guys bye	317,181	[ 317276 ]	228	[ 164600, 181453, 199405, 192560, 266925, 279394, 250680, 293539, 155884, 79910, 242916, 233414, 176974, 152273, 143665, 228805, 181392, 253759, 181402, 272379, 250677, 279392, 187888, 150083, 185137, 255484, 228809, 236603, 201180, 193316, 284707, 296826, 187714, 186374, 139449, 231337, 199393, 218209, 164613, 164602, 159394, 148947, 279387, 181464, 181471, 234775, 264973, 185485, 183483, 272377, 242926, 128700, 241626, 215129, 216319, 174155, 238899, 187874, 186363, 79918, 37449, 192546, 282958, 183410, 286025, 302635, 177772, 181043, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well chicago fuckin sucks i dont think i want to come back here anymore i mean i look forward to this this is like what i live for and right now it sucks and i fuckin hate it i mean if i could i would get on a plane right now and leave but the only reason y im not is cuz <PERSON> here and im even getting bored with that i havent gone out since saturday and nobody even bothers to call i mean it seem slike nobody wants me around i mean <PERSON> ditched monday and yesterday and i have a feeling its gonna happen <PERSON> today she says shes gonna call and pick me up but she goes out with <PERSON> instead and it fuckin sucks and it seems like the only time <PERSON> calls is when she has a problems that she needs me to fix and i fuckin hate it like i would so go home right now cuz thats how bad i feel everytime i come here i cause everyone else problems and i dont think its worth it anymore i just wanan go away and never come back really im serious everywhere i go it seems like nothing is good i fuckin hate mylife and right now i wish i didnt have one i come here to see people and they fuckin shit all over me and i wish i could actually say something and tell people how i feel but i cant so u no when <PERSON> and <PERSON> actually call and we actually go out i will put a big smile on my face and act as if NOTHING is wrong and they will never no cuz thats the way i am i dont want to cuz problems but it seems i always do or people always blame them on me cuz theres no one else so today im probably gonna sit at home cuz my so called 'friends' are not gonna call and forget about me so i might as well sit here and die cuz <PERSON> gonna no anyway so whats the difference if i live or die because right now it seems like nobody cares so i guess i might as well die today everyone comes to me when there life is so bad and so horrible and they dont even seem to wonder how bad mine can get and then shit on me to make it worse u no fuck that im fuckin done im done with everything im giving up yes im a quitter <PERSON> is giving up on life u no theres gonna be people tthat r gonna read this and be like o look shes crying out for attention shes feeling sorry for herself but u guys have no fuckin idea cuz u dont ask everyone thinks im so fuckin happy all the time and im not i fuckin hate life and i want to end it	317,182	[ 317320, 317219, 317200, 317220 ]	113	[ 188305, 181375, 147428, 161181, 172737, 161187, 181469, 161190, 256176, 181476, 181381, 188349, 198281, 275792, 188276, 297590, 183257, 200221, 231790, 193315, 231794, 152256, 147392, 272371, 272379, 204258, 159129, 228634, 251509, 236090, 250680, 218294, 228656, 294771, 272378, 272377, 53315, 264558, 286691, 185889, 251221, 256174, 286706, 172723, 34893, 228808, 155516, 199405, 183266, 186097, 139449, 161189, 49671, 228644, 228231, 34885, 26058, 49726, 147397, 181288, 181312, 89914, 186087, 53384, 275820, 294770, 79906, 188274, 181467, 207488, 152437, 161182, 192267, 172692, 250673, 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blog_authorship_998237	man o man yesterday was <PERSON> <PERSON> was being fuckin stupid and ditched me and <PERSON> and then i had to fix a fight between <PERSON> and <PERSON> yea it was nuts anywho i think <PERSON> and <PERSON> r still mad at me and <PERSON> but u no what i DONT care im at keeleys riiight now so i dunno hahaha i saw <PERSON> yesterday and i get to see him on thursday WOOO HOOO well thats it...MERRY CHRISTMAS	317,183	[ 317320 ]	124	[ 181464, 299982, 181399, 181390, 272379, 228644, 29191, 172737, 90197, 272377, 84566, 253425, 181431, 181417, 181489, 250662, 181478, 184934, 171578, 188276, 164612, 217249, 181453, 181413, 188369, 188274, 264569, 53363, 84448, 181459, 255788, 256174, 288865, 175038, 183509, 251543, 299980, 164613, 154870, 312726, 147412, 172736, 185309, 189693, 147612, 287035, 193144, 228800, 233794, 170809, 256184, 189636, 181375, 181476, 183269, 252338, 188349, 263133, 172767, 267793, 181368, 264566, 181401, 250691, 303576, 250692, 181404, 223925, 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blog_authorship_998237	woooooo hooooo im in chicago guys!! yay for me anywho last night i went to ginas had some fun hahaha it was exciting well we had to leave ginas at 915 so everyone left when she said leave no problem well <PERSON> went nutso for NO reason at all i mean everyone helped clean they were all out of the house and everything and we all were gonna come back here well she became mega bitch and was yelling for no reason at all shes all like i dont wanna go to teddies no im not leaving leave me alone blah blah blah so her and <PERSON> were screaming at each other and she locked herself in the bathroom well i tired talking to her didnt work so she made me <PERSON> and <PERSON> leave and wouldnt let us back in so i had to come home and now she wont talk to me hmmmm? make sense dont think so she told us to leave so we did and now shes made cuz we did leave her? riiiiiight anywho yea well <PERSON> is gonna come over at 2 woo hoo im excited its gonna be fun i think? hahah me and <PERSON> are gonna go see the lights with my mom <PERSON> and my brothers hahah cute right? anywho i dont no im super bored and REALLY tired im a bit hung over but hey its alll good yea i should be sleeping but NOOO damn westin woke me up so yea i dunno i think ill sit here and curl up on the couch with my teddybear woo hoo sounds good well im out peace holla	317,184	null	122	[ 181498, 250680, 181375, 272377, 181453, 272379, 181368, 266183, 250679, 172737, 181476, 79918, 286407, 264569, 218292, 187874, 285111, 187888, 259819, 178396, 155516, 154685, 183281, 227484, 185844, 252464, 287038, 181455, 183269, 250677, 185137, 228805, 183266, 228809, 139365, 172707, 181448, 181470, 161843, 183272, 183643, 183270, 139434, 236609, 181500, 181402, 282892, 272371, 156459, 155508, 245042, 192560, 250692, 155488, 250690, 183438, 164601, 181452, 233200, 181392, 188362, 181464, 172709, 148969, 269772, 228804, 183255, 148261, 243190, 203359, 277128, 185146, 266093, 53315, 274079, 155544, 250689, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well im soo excited im leaving for chicago in 6ish hours ooo yea its gonna be fun but i dunno i had finals today did that suck o yea it did anywho my dad is REALLY pissing me off <PERSON> im so glad i can get away for awhile 16 days of whole heartedly excitment oo yea well i haev to go finsh packing and whatknot adios amigos	317,185	[ 317219, 317354, 317224, 317320, 317209, 317276, 317225, 317182, 317218, 317271, 317366, 317220, 317200, 317311, 317135, 317365, 317282, 317198 ]	2	[ 172686, 272377, 181404, 181476, 269772, 181479, 181375, 181391, 181498, 181463, 172689, 285111, 181483, 181401, 181473, 181455, 181487, 144579, 298227, 181464, 181406, 181399, 181441, 214615, 176767, 272371, 181459, 181443, 181465, 181408, 181454, 181258, 250620, 223925, 181481, 285120, 193316, 181368, 223927, 181279, 181384, 300257, 298228, 181412, 300255, 181490, 181366, 172803, 181497, 172729, 193307, 223930, 181493, 181419, 244109, 181453, 181286, 193311, 172723, 223929, 181431, 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blog_authorship_998237	hahahahahaha im in photo cuz im cool its the last day awwwwwwwwwww tear! ha 4 more days till chicago OMG woo hoo im in excited anyway i ate cake today it was good i made im cool o yea haha i look cute i have a beanie on ooo yea im hot u all no it anyway umm thats all i have to say so im out peace holla	317,186	[ 317276, 317224 ]	164	[ 172736, 172748, 181270, 181498, 283387, 181431, 181332, 172737, 172764, 181465, 172695, 181490, 181455, 181473, 172686, 181279, 172689, 181476, 181443, 181484, 181459, 181322, 233165, 238308, 181441, 172707, 181414, 181454, 228180, 244505, 181299, 300257, 181321, 181451, 238301, 272657, 181404, 181444, 187867, 181463, 181493, 298231, 181283, 147379, 181503, 185145, 244510, 188288, 181483, 181479, 181487, 181282, 181481, 231818, 181267, 219811, 84473, 181467, 261818, 193306, 181413, 159530, 238298, 181258, 185137, 297614, 172742, 181486, 53316, 250679, 272377, 84279, 181274, 267472, 181408, 159371, 181418, 181401, 181497, 181485, 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blog_authorship_998237	im listeing to <PERSON> hahah thats right i said <PERSON> ok so yea im in a good mood but <PERSON> is ruining it o well its ok surprise surprise i dont get i mean im in love with him but hes soooo mean even tho hes joking half the time i still i hate it o well its getting me mad to the point where i dont wanna talk to him anymore when he gets like that i mean even tho hes kidding i dont care its still mean and i dont like mean people so whatever i dunno anyway i baked a cake today and i saw <PERSON> twice and i saw <PERSON> and <PERSON> yea <PERSON> i took my picture with <PERSON> woo hoo i made <PERSON> a xmas present and i made <PERSON> another one to OMG i have finals tomorrow spanish and photo i soo HAVE to study like right now anyway OMG being a girl fucking sucks 5 days before i leave for chicago and my 'cycle' decides it will like to appear today its like MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS damn its so dumb it came twice last month and now its coming agian i hate it anyway it should be over in like 4 days soooo yea i dunno ur so vain u probably think this song is about u haha i dont get that i mean the song is about him right? hahaha its stupid anyway im gonna go study	317,187	null	124	[ 181464, 181476, 272377, 181406, 288996, 218224, 156457, 79918, 299635, 143665, 264569, 264559, 289003, 139410, 181481, 181408, 147376, 53439, 147351, 84448, 251543, 181258, 181483, 279392, 299627, 188319, 233165, 137132, 188376, 229045, 181470, 264549, 250661, 181429, 299629, 139385, 181398, 256176, 181473, 198255, 181410, 264558, 181311, 260984, 250677, 279625, 272379, 225958, 248477, 300890, 139371, 183270, 53371, 250679, 218678, 198257, 139384, 156468, 138235, 155508, 181368, 279395, 192601, 172737, 181478, 192546, 228805, 148220, 251512, 233121, 183276, 53315, 181366, 272381, 267806, 188275, 250633, 147405, 181489, 244501, 156462, 139430, 188313, 183923, 139391, 294770, 156463, 243340, 84244, 251516, 79910, 178371, 243231, 299628, 236609, 225981, 249082, 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blog_authorship_998237	today was an OK day pretty boring i have fucking finals in 2 days and SOOO NOT ready but hey i dont care i saw <PERSON> today :( he was with <PERSON> and i wanted to cry actually no not at all i really didnt care i was in a good mood so fuck it yea well i have volleyball tonight at 6 and then i think im gonna call <PERSON> cuz tonight me and <PERSON> arent suppose to talk HAHAHA RIIIIIIGHT anyway im eating a cheeseburger and im all freaked out im gonna get tape worm haha well im outie	317,188	[ 317276 ]	55	[ 291336, 181460, 272377, 172693, 181402, 181476, 181464, 181413, 188276, 172707, 275811, 147593, 272371, 250679, 275792, 53405, 53316, 181406, 172723, 139474, 79906, 181288, 275810, 228813, 244510, 49671, 299628, 152549, 250678, 250675, 161196, 275796, 181282, 139453, 181489, 275807, 250697, 209952, 181258, 181401, 250680, 250696, 181473, 250687, 183251, 218224, 228802, 186058, 181453, 264559, 279625, 181332, 271075, 147655, 183266, 275824, 53334, 147615, 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blog_authorship_998237	its almost 12 and i cant sleep i got off the phone with <PERSON> at like 1030 thinking YAY ill sleep alot tonight but noooo and i wanna call him back but im scared so i got <PERSON> to do it but i have to give him 5$ o well yea i really wanna talk to <PERSON> but hey o well im gonna try and sleep some more night night	317,189	[ 317182, 317200, 317276, 317219, 317220, 317320, 317218, 317209, 317344, 317311, 317201, 317243, 317224, 317198, 317366, 317354, 317277, 317271 ]	211	[ 181445, 181476, 181404, 272377, 138596, 148960, 53437, 183251, 187883, 190084, 213718, 181401, 264569, 181471, 53313, 287174, 181347, 218293, 161738, 148893, 53460, 89926, 200233, 250663, 277128, 293636, 181390, 181283, 181015, 73357, 181299, 185145, 155049, 275792, 275807, 161735, 181388, 178396, 283431, 161744, 181453, 176895, 181469, 181498, 267791, 150570, 204263, 181351, 183276, 181394, 245201, 2333, 148899, 279388, 288996, 148955, 183278, 249084, 148921, 178379, 277127, 245386, 253950, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea im kinda upset today cuz i found out <PERSON> has a gf and u no i liked him alot and its kinda upseting but u no hey im used to it he was like the first guy i really seriously liked down here and it sucks but u no im ok i think? ill get over it u no y cuz me and <PERSON> have a bird and its a cute bird and i like our bird so yea im gonna stick with me and <PERSON> but im upset im not PISSED but im upset damn it that fuckin gets me mad fucker o well ill live im eating now so yea bye	317,190	[ 317224 ]	228	[ 181476, 256175, 190062, 181490, 181469, 181498, 181384, 181392, 181438, 181487, 181484, 181332, 181493, 181485, 181390, 181455, 121717, 272371, 181465, 181510, 242926, 181288, 139471, 223926, 181459, 181483, 193306, 181413, 181491, 251221, 181375, 181279, 181479, 181409, 267794, 181401, 181431, 172707, 181283, 272377, 172737, 172736, 84244, 181436, 181508, 172681, 252338, 181440, 272657, 183276, 181473, 181404, 181408, 291446, 181299, 53469, 283441, 181267, 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blog_authorship_998237	no trust...all i got is lies...boring...alright....yea ha <PERSON> told me <PERSON> likes this girl <PERSON> woo hoo for me anyway dont care moving on in life so yea im sitting here listening to <PERSON> cuz im bored i wanna tlak to <PERSON> boo im sad anyway yeaAm I strung out, crazy, or not allowed to be the one who gets stupid over you lazy (lazy), laid back (laid back), maybe you're just on crack why am I the one who gets fucked up and confused? (go!) ha yea..... You couldn't wait for something new and yesterday I thought of you it left me to think as if I couldn't walk away it's too late, I fell through yea..... I've got HIM in my head at night when I go to bed and I know it sounds lame, but HES the GUY of my dreams And of course I'd do anything for HIM I'd search the moons of Endor I'd even walk naked through the deserts of Tatooine	317,191	null	142	[ 272377, 283387, 272395, 181498, 204083, 193316, 272565, 181279, 181476, 263606, 269716, 98624, 181474, 219811, 163182, 161822, 172737, 79891, 181408, 181409, 272379, 238308, 277128, 194095, 163145, 181381, 247922, 181478, 264566, 148169, 181464, 181471, 168870, 282886, 181465, 163215, 250680, 283062, 264569, 193311, 229045, 204018, 141143, 250692, 181368, 181459, 181410, 223927, 181406, 181453, 279625, 250690, 181473, 188369, 233805, 181398, 271828, 181467, 181413, 273454, 181317, 283057, 250633, 157464, 181452, 268303, 183276, 300257, 152465, 181469, 181384, 181402, 223930, 181391, 300254, 293838, 181401, 277134, 181441, 242906, 181494, 264563, 250689, 147376, 147343, 256174, 172755, 181495, 17108, 176770, 291379, 244510, 181375, 249086, 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blog_authorship_998237	whooooa like whats goin on? haha im in photo cuz im just so cool like that i made some prints and now im bored so yea hahaha i saw <PERSON> today WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO o yea YAY! anyway...........I LIKE MY BOX, 6 WALLS, ALL WHITE, NO WINDOWS, GOOD CORNERS, PLEASE DONT OPEN THAT DOOR! HAHAHA im insane but u all no u love me anyway gonna go take some digital pictures cuz im #1 anyway hahah BYE BYE BYE EBYE	317,192	[ 317224, 317198 ]	179	[ 176887, 283387, 144748, 272657, 152405, 250625, 181443, 300259, 243187, 228180, 172686, 181301, 181484, 181332, 181487, 188269, 172737, 188246, 181476, 264563, 249093, 181322, 309332, 181490, 172789, 159614, 188349, 244502, 233203, 250785, 181467, 181463, 181431, 181384, 84390, 183276, 250677, 259342, 172748, 181455, 181498, 139409, 279625, 79906, 289230, 181391, 292777, 181497, 233165, 264564, 256175, 181449, 181465, 159371, 188369, 53469, 188365, 148887, 181454, 163149, 218209, 181503, 181459, 172693, 181483, 181479, 192135, 181420, 188276, 159645, 181473, 244510, 250697, 198030, 272377, 52742, 171661, 181299, 181381, 181495, 185121, 258816, 181485, 181414, 181282, 181438, 244506, 181390, 269790, 230600, 251221, 257959, 200819, 269716, 181464, 297614, 200836, 181401, 218224, 242889, 200826, 188293, 272565, 192230, 242926, 183924, 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blog_authorship_998237	haha im at home <PERSON> is gonna give me a ride home like everyday now its great but yea anyway im so bored i have volleyball at 630? i think yea but alright anywat im excitied haha yea i havent played in a looong time yea only 13 more days till chicago i CANNOT wait ha i was in such a good mood today i dont even no y i really wanna talk to <PERSON> about what i dunno but i just wanna talk to him its weird o well im talking to <PERSON> now yea exciting i no im listening to my brothers oldies cd haha i no im a strange one anyway that was my day <PERSON>	317,193	[ 317276 ]	234	[ 181476, 181464, 181404, 181459, 181413, 181408, 228180, 181498, 181493, 181471, 181364, 244510, 181375, 198030, 181484, 181384, 172686, 287174, 181258, 181486, 283387, 272377, 181487, 181406, 244505, 183923, 267506, 181398, 187867, 181399, 181388, 250679, 181366, 181453, 172723, 181473, 181410, 201774, 250696, 181438, 181479, 228186, 183276, 181332, 250677, 181299, 181419, 233165, 163215, 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blog_authorship_998237	haha yea im in the libary i have to stay here till 330 which is so NOT fun i hate it here its bad enough i have to be here at 720-210 but no i have to stay here like an extra hour boo to that anyway hmm what can i talk about haha i saw <PERSON> like 2 minutes ago he was makin fun of me cuz i dont have my damn adicts shirt yet boo yea anyway hmm haha yea last night when i got of the phone with <PERSON> i was still thinkin about what are 'relationship' would be called his whole idea of calling it 'friends with benifits' is a good one but not really i mean we made out like a whole what 3 times? but u no i was thinking about how weird it would be if i gave him head or something i mean could u imagine the akwardness its almost funny i dunno i was just thinking about it last night and i just pictured it happening and then us NEVER talking <PERSON> cuz thats probably what would happen i mean thats what happened with <PERSON> haha yea but <PERSON> was a one time never gonna happen agian thing haha he talked to me a couple of days ago and hes all like when r u coming back? maybe we could hook up <PERSON> and i could eat u out and im like ha no and hes like common please it would be soo much to me i really like u hahahahahhahahaha thats soo funny if he really wanted me to believe that he liked me he should of talked to me after i gave him head hahaha hes so dumb it makes me laugh im so weird when it comes to guys and shit it like doesnt make sense me and <PERSON> went out for what like 3 months?? and we made out like twice and then i get on <PERSON> for no reason give <PERSON> head for no reason at all and get on <PERSON> like 100 times i dont understand myself im so stupid but like i just think it would be like totally weird if everytime i saw <PERSON> we made it this whole sex fest haha things wouldnt be the same after but i dunno maybe i dont do alot with <PERSON> cuz i never see him but then again if i did see him like everyday i just cant picture doing anything i mean i can but omg the akwardness would be unbareable but u no o well we will see what happens hahaha wow see thats what i was thinking about all night haha im so weird u no im supre duper bored u have no idea i still have an hour and NOTHING to do i would go sit outside and do my spanish homework but it raining and i dont like doing homework in here its to uncomfortable haha yea ahhh my foots asleep yea u no what else i realized last night i dont think i like <PERSON> anymore i mean yea i do just not like OMG I LOOOOVE <PERSON> its dumb tho cuz he does NOT like me even tho <PERSON> saids he does he doesnt i mean i never see him and he barely talks to me so i dunno o well i guess ill just stop talking him for good and get over him but i dunno i kinda dont want to cuz i like him still its just that i dont no what to do i feel like an idiot talking to him but u no o well it would be nice if he told me he didnt like me so then i could be like ok getting over u NOW haha but o well its not gonna happen oooo well sucks for me anyway im so fucking bored i wanna go home but nooooooo damn it what else can i talk about....14 more days till chicago i CANNOT wait im so excitied u have NOOOO idea i need to call <PERSON> tonight yea thats what im gonna do ooo but wait i have this awards thingy tonight booo i dont think im gonna go o well who cares not going ill call <PERSON> instead hahaha my priorities r so great arent they anyway i think im gonna stop and go do something else cuz i have nothing else to tell u guys alright then BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE	317,194	null	41	[ 272377, 181476, 181464, 181469, 264569, 272379, 183270, 181390, 181398, 183276, 181409, 188376, 181381, 250677, 260176, 183257, 279395, 137132, 279625, 181288, 181503, 183272, 190060, 188274, 267806, 251543, 181448, 183253, 286694, 250679, 188275, 53486, 147341, 152405, 188369, 152441, 181470, 148922, 181317, 143665, 250672, 277288, 155508, 79918, 181500, 181459, 264549, 181481, 272378, 181366, 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blog_authorship_998237	i have so much to write about and all these thoughts going through me head and no clue on how to write them all down im just so sick of all the shit my dad puts me through i dont do fucking anything to him and he treats me like im nothing its like he doesnt care he thinks im such a disappointment and i dont even no what i do wrong it hurts knowing ur dad doesnt care about and has no love for u at all he keeps pushing me away like he cant wait to get rid of me he keeps trying to make me 'independent' and i hate it im only 15 years old im not even old enough to drive or get a job let alone do things on my own i still need help learning things he still has 3 years until he can kick me out and never have to deal with me <PERSON> im not ready to leave on my own im scared and her not helping hes only making it worse i hate the feeling of being alone and thats what i feel right now i still need someone and im always going to and hes not there for me and its tearing me apart i have so much bottled up rage that i dont know what to do with i dont understand y he thinks im such a bad person i do every little fucking thing he tells me to do and i dont understand y he feels so negative towards me i dont get it im so sick of him putting me down and making me feel like shit every fuckinf day he puts me down i have all this emotion and hurt feeling boiling up inside and i just wanna kill someone one day im just gonna leave never come back ever <PERSON> i want to leave so bad but theres something holding me back i could so go live with my mom but thats a whole other story i dont want to get into i feel like i have to compete for my parents appreachiation its ridiculous but i no i just have to think about all the positive things theres people that have it so much more worse then i do im not homeless my father doesnt beat me im not getting sexually abused by some freak so i guess my life isnt that bad but u no sometimes i just think what it would be like if i was dead i mean all those problems people say i cause would be gone and im sure theres people that would be happy or wouldnt even notice but i just gotta stay positive i do have friends that care right? but it doesnt matter how people feel about me im gonna be out on my own sooner than later and its not gonna matter if my parents hated me or if everyone loved me im just not gonna let it get to me anymore and u no some people say i cause my own depression or im just craving attention but thats not it i have emotions and my feelings can be hurt just like everyone else and this is how i deal with them i might as well live my life up to MY expectations and make the best of it	317,195	[ 317219, 317320, 317182, 317200, 317137, 317218, 317366, 317220, 317294 ]	13	[ 279671, 181542, 144576, 161817, 294771, 161189, 198281, 156035, 210672, 244682, 147408, 188265, 299628, 272379, 254936, 199405, 224064, 264558, 139436, 161818, 272378, 198271, 198274, 271049, 29316, 299627, 272377, 198231, 181288, 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blog_authorship_998237	hey hey hey yea well today im starting a 'diet' its called '<PERSON> is gonna lose 10 pounds in 20 days' which is totally possible but i just gotta find some motivation to run cuz i HATE running anyway haha i dunno the grandparents are coming soon exciting huh? but yea i dunno anyway hahah i love <PERSON>s sooo NOT an asshole anymore haha i love him anyway hmm heres a song about how i feel today....'Stupid Kid' There are things that used to make me smile One of them was you for just a little while You left me for dead so far away I replaced you with fear and shame You'll be happy on the day I die There are things that used to make me laugh But now they're deeply buried in the past I left them there so far away Replaced my humor with my pain I'll be happy on the day it dies Remember when I said I love you Well forget it I take it back I was just a stupid kid back then I take back every word that I said There are things that used to make you cry One of them was me for just a little while Why is it that you had to say Goodbye in your special way You slashed the tires on my car	317,196	null	213	[ 200944, 275496, 170026, 263606, 228307, 214202, 261380, 260164, 278521, 204008, 11242, 181464, 151814, 276475, 181459, 154226, 210709, 207528, 187530, 212054, 212869, 204029, 225856, 275500, 197598, 109587, 258618, 264562, 236412, 135668, 152434, 59894, 226665, 213712, 22141, 139287, 246080, 183276, 255677, 276907, 155519, 222410, 53351, 306422, 210048, 260169, 272377, 188369, 177789, 209947, 272395, 152338, 245437, 147193, 252172, 169250, 181430, 194471, 152305, 279900, 289943, 121717, 297614, 234477, 156035, 314230, 259381, 206693, 252018, 151039, 219898, 148834, 149177, 140483, 250997, 306602, 198741, 226107, 210673, 262568, 187793, 109626, 217361, 188269, 297478, 137360, 290793, 132828, 272378, 289030, 275493, 199720, 37619, 259278, 295724, 300881, 149237, 155054, 133229, 159371, 204014, 22843, 151706, 214189, 275499, 155521, 218735, 53439, 175513, 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blog_authorship_998237	hellllooo everyone!!! im in photo yea im so cool <PERSON> is french braiding my hair cuz im sooo sexy ooo yea not at all anyway today was boring well its boring so far nothing exciting i had a test in history yea i failed hahaha it was hard anyway yea i dunno tho im so bored and shes hurting my head OOOOOUCH! haha yea well i dunno im bored blah blah blah blah blah yea ok that good enough bye guys	317,197	[ 317276, 317224, 317182 ]	225	[ 172681, 264566, 264569, 181406, 181265, 181508, 181484, 181483, 172695, 181490, 181463, 172666, 181404, 181476, 264568, 246836, 257643, 176770, 144579, 181481, 244506, 244510, 181368, 181486, 181464, 181487, 181459, 181479, 181270, 181473, 183624, 181384, 163215, 187874, 181410, 181441, 181480, 264549, 181367, 181258, 181408, 181448, 161754, 181375, 283387, 181312, 181455, 181485, 181417, 181332, 90197, 181453, 181282, 250690, 300259, 193316, 277128, 300258, 181498, 300255, 193311, 181497, 181465, 181509, 181493, 181399, 181477, 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blog_authorship_998237	well yea i just got back from volleyball tryouts woow i dont wanna talk about that there were only 10 girls so im on the team unless they decide they wanna cut me but hey i dont care its dumb its like 1600$ and i have to sell like 35 ads haha riiight but i dunno anyway im REALLY bored and theres nothing to do nobody to talk to boo yea i dunno tho i have a history test that i should study frombut im gonna do it later maybe ill clean my room hmm MAYBE or maybe not haha yea not anyway i dunno this is so boring ah im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored now guys wasnt that some exciting stuff ooo yea! woo hoo wooo hooo wooo hooo haha ok gonna stop now	317,198	[ 317224, 317182, 317320, 317198, 317135, 317208, 317201, 317200, 317209, 317243, 317219, 317335 ]	82	[ 88131, 228761, 171675, 152314, 29169, 195343, 277134, 152263, 236744, 261689, 246778, 294702, 243211, 271921, 195365, 29216, 271556, 198294, 273923, 277126, 311589, 218578, 261562, 309218, 257952, 252937, 312299, 309332, 138246, 303650, 287035, 193099, 144750, 281051, 168870, 192114, 293544, 275810, 204246, 257959, 252961, 84292, 250669, 145617, 257249, 250785, 210417, 172703, 298620, 267619, 195367, 218558, 31727, 246777, 273439, 162685, 138548, 309306, 29161, 250020, 186157, 147635, 217787, 300259, 255802, 53469, 216251, 181320, 152906, 246572, 282895, 26059, 218575, 138190, 186165, 200261, 257961, 195371, 201778, 187729, 148927, 275819, 186325, 53313, 251167, 162721, 181463, 260984, 291158, 183924, 149310, 148425, 148875, 53324, 185912, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well today was no fun no fun at all nothing exciting happened nothing at all boo its soo boring i talked to <PERSON> last night i no isnt that like so cool haha yea and i talked to <PERSON> 2 but hes been an asshole <PERSON> and its not cool o well what am i suppose to do i tell him hes being an asshole but nooo does he take me seriously no of course not but o well nothing i can do about it but yea only like 22 days? or something till i come in i cannot wait its gonna be soo much fun!! yup yup yup but yea my life is blah but i dunno i have volleyball tryout tonight ahh im scared actually no im not its gonna be dumb o well ha <PERSON> is trying out to so we are gonna own the team its gonna be GREAT! woo hoo cant wait but i dunno thats it but yea im gonna stop now	317,199	[ 317224, 317320, 317182 ]	82	[ 181476, 244510, 181484, 181485, 181483, 181486, 181406, 181503, 181404, 181464, 181402, 181444, 272377, 187867, 181381, 181493, 244506, 181498, 181420, 181473, 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blog_authorship_998237	u no what love fuckin sucks i fuckin hate it do u see what it does to me???? its nuts u no it sucks u no maybe im not in love with <PERSON> but i sure like him ALOT u it would be nice if i knew if he liked me or not so i wouldnt be all crazy and stupid and when he says 'what r u nuts <PERSON> of course i dont like u wow how dumb can u get!' then i can move on with my so called life and things could get back to normal and another thing love is sooo over rated i mean its dumb its stupid and i dont like it yea sure its nice and all but i dont really think i LOVE anyone wait yes i do i LOVE <PERSON> but thats a given u no now that i think abotu it i really dont LOVE <PERSON> i just like him ALOT and theres a BIG difference cuz i mean i dont even no <PERSON> that well and to say i realy really erally really love him i dunno i dont think i can say that i mean thats like illegal or something but i do no 2 things....i love <PERSON> no matter waht i mean even if he hates me for doing stupid stuff i will always love him i mean yea DUH who doesnt no that but u no me and <PERSON> are different its just weird ya no? but with <PERSON> i like him ALOT but <PERSON> only knows how long thats gonna last...ok yea its gonna last awhile unless he calls me an ulgy dirty slut whore then duh i wont like him anymore haha yea but i dunno life is so confusing i mean y cant life be nice and happy and nonconfusing u no what else i realized theres a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone cuz u no u could fall out of love haha yea its not so nifty yea but o well who cares im 15 what the hell do i no about life and love and whatknot if u asks me its a giant load of shit! LOVE=SHIT hahah yea!	317,200	[ 317224 ]	174	[ 181469, 181476, 272378, 181464, 272377, 272379, 181398, 181409, 263110, 264569, 263103, 181390, 181474, 84366, 143665, 181381, 181402, 300885, 147397, 181503, 155483, 183276, 183257, 181258, 287179, 147341, 181279, 181366, 84566, 183270, 181481, 161822, 285123, 264549, 147392, 147376, 181487, 198270, 188274, 181510, 264559, 233165, 148959, 299627, 288996, 250633, 181419, 204036, 181459, 213719, 161846, 279671, 198257, 90197, 181392, 272395, 261009, 181364, 236603, 273449, 248432, 53312, 198281, 267806, 181478, 181408, 198255, 267485, 263964, 198231, 250672, 188305, 225958, 264560, 228808, 261084, 181317, 188276, 181504, 181473, 181429, 190060, 53431, 272380, 172737, 244506, 187563, 181413, 213251, 148954, 187763, 181410, 84160, 300882, 53486, 181399, 256176, 306520, 188260, 263384, 139445, 181274, 250632, 187793, 84448, 228805, 198274, 183440, 148829, 139385, 155511, 181420, 154686, 181315, 181441, 181401, 311564, 163196, 264564, 125294, 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blog_authorship_998237	i told you right from the start. a knife up to your throat for one put through my heart. couldn't hold on and this i should've known. thinking back as i walk the night alone. i told you that my love was true. i asked you to walk away if you don't feel like i do. you whispered that you would be mine always. i felt myself slipping away. i love you forever, 'til death do us part. night gives no rest and i cannot sleep. when i can i see your face, it's tattooed on my dreams. purple heart pumps sorrow through my veins. i awaken, i'm calling out your name. i often think back to that night... the moment when i found out that our love was a lie. felt like i would die, i couldn't stand the pain. and there's nothing left except one thing, i've gotta see you again. i love you forever, 'til death do us part. forever is over, forever is over. it's over, it's over, it ended on that night... that i took your fucking life.	317,201	[ 317276, 317134, 317175, 317137, 317354, 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blog_authorship_998237	OMG! ha today was boring yet very exciting at the same time actually no wait that doesnt make any sense <PERSON> well i dont make sense haha yea thats right well <PERSON> is my savior i love her and i love <PERSON> and i love someone else hahah yes wow im just full of love yea im so hot o yea thats it tomorrow is volleyball tryouts ahh im scared o well who cares anyway i HAVE to work out today i didnt yesterday or the day before icky i feel fat o well yea but i have to stop writing now cuz im in the library and the nazi librarians well kill me ok so love ya babe!	317,202	[ 317224, 317276 ]	109	[ 283387, 181365, 256176, 181441, 181476, 181402, 181443, 300259, 187867, 181464, 264563, 183276, 181351, 193314, 181459, 193311, 181412, 163271, 238308, 298231, 172737, 181364, 181399, 300256, 181490, 198021, 300257, 250677, 213709, 264549, 218224, 181322, 181478, 230600, 181436, 244510, 256175, 243243, 181484, 143665, 84279, 172666, 181418, 279625, 181368, 204014, 181258, 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blog_authorship_998237	ok well i HAD a tournament tomorrow but i cant go because my father wont pay for it so i cant go anymore unless he pays tonight and he wont so i guess im not going and does he care no no no hes to busy to care so u no o fuckin well i hate everyone really i do i dont wanna talk to <PERSON> cuz hes not making things better at all hes proably to busy with something to talk to me just like everyone else i no everyone i no is always to busy to tlak to me to busy for me always to damn busy with something else so im all alone now i think im gonna go sit in my room and die	317,203	[ 317320, 317182, 317200, 317219, 317224, 317198, 317218, 317220, 317294, 317209, 317225, 317271 ]	13	[ 188274, 144576, 148951, 251543, 264549, 148921, 181406, 267806, 161189, 181288, 98624, 192546, 198281, 264558, 268957, 181476, 139449, 272377, 147341, 286430, 147408, 267797, 181503, 292886, 137139, 272379, 183257, 181381, 228588, 188260, 37423, 198271, 264569, 256176, 161190, 161181, 181390, 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blog_authorship_998237	ok well nothing new is going on umm i talked my way into getting the phone till 11 thats like the best thing that has happened umm that slike it? im talking to <PERSON> well not really hes busy with his damn site ha its SOOO annoying it drives me nuts but what am i suppose to do? o well hahaha i just burped that was nuts anyway im bored i have a game in tampa this weekend should be interesting and on friday i tink im going to the fair dont no tho well im out peace	317,204	[ 317182, 317198, 317224, 317200, 317172, 317320, 317208, 317135, 317209, 317219, 317303, 317335, 317306 ]	211	[ 187711, 183589, 181395, 288999, 181476, 137133, 283387, 181267, 152448, 300254, 172736, 181271, 200245, 263376, 181392, 188303, 228596, 277288, 79918, 225955, 218558, 148848, 187706, 175226, 289881, 154527, 181366, 263374, 250010, 286430, 98624, 181406, 181483, 148894, 152465, 233166, 291448, 148865, 181465, 183548, 148893, 183457, 181436, 243678, 181270, 181420, 181441, 148924, 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blog_authorship_998237	boo im bored its the superbowl and <PERSON> is winning therefore i am winning a dollar cuz i bet my brother they would win so IM WINNING GOOOOO ME!!! yea well to tell u the truth i HATE football well thats it last night i went to the show it was fun well before we actually went inside it was fun but then it sucked the bands were scary and horrible and i didnt like it ooo yea the kid that reminds me of <PERSON>s name isnt <PERSON> its <PERSON>! i no its horrible cuz every guy i have ever known named <PERSON> was an asshole at some point but yea hes a junior and umm yea thats like it he had an ugly shirt on last night her looked like a bumble bee haha really he did o well i dont care enough about <PERSON> well yea thats it im out peace	317,205	[ 317135, 317224, 317182, 317198, 317320 ]	87	[ 250677, 181476, 181392, 181493, 279625, 181409, 183270, 90197, 298231, 181368, 283387, 172723, 244506, 181483, 181481, 181398, 272377, 181448, 181489, 163182, 181402, 181459, 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blog_authorship_998237	i cant use the phone or the computer which sucks but guess what im doing im using the computer o yea im a badass my father thinks im using it for something else but im not on aol and for some reason i cant check my mail i think my dad like changed my password or something or maybe its this damn computer cuz i dont no how to work it my mother just called me and bitched at me for NOTHING it pisses me off my dad bitched at me 2 minutes before that 2 and i didnt do anything i love it how they treat me like im such a bad person and they treat my brother like gold its unbelieveable o well i dont care im gonna leave and runaway soon or just die i havent picked which one yet well love u guys bye	317,206	[ 317182, 317320, 317219, 317200, 317220, 317218, 317198, 317311, 317344 ]	13	[ 181476, 272377, 181288, 231790, 181464, 165395, 181469, 281044, 279400, 272378, 164615, 139474, 181453, 250680, 181277, 199405, 181375, 198294, 236603, 250673, 279395, 262486, 70231, 299628, 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blog_authorship_998237	im so pissed off today i hate the way my dad and brother always find a away to make me feel like shit its like they want me to kill myself i dont understand it everytime i open my mouth im told to shut up and they dont want to hear my talk what the hell is that suppose to mean how am i suppose to react to something like that they treat me like im nothing and wonder why i cry almost every day and lock myself in my room its soo dumb and now i cant go to chicago for spring break my mother wants to go somewhere else its like ok i get no say in it at all going to chicago is the only thing in my life i look forward to its like the only place i can go and feel like im wanted most of the time and now i cant even go there its so stupid i cant wait till i can go live somewhere else and actually have control over my life and not have people always put me down and make me feel like shit i want to run away so bad so i dont have to deal with shit anymore i hate it but i dunno i just hate living here i hate living period o well	317,207	[ 317320, 317182, 317219, 317200, 317220, 317218, 317198, 317225, 317294, 317209, 317311, 317366 ]	13	[ 53323, 161189, 198231, 156035, 199405, 49671, 161187, 198274, 148160, 299627, 161181, 271049, 276107, 210672, 147408, 147349, 155511, 198271, 272377, 297682, 221079, 161817, 271055, 294771, 181542, 148829, 53431, 157462, 228656, 176975, 139436, 231794, 161747, 198281, 157508, 190804, 263757, 185479, 291341, 265976, 260953, 147388, 34946, 34893, 267806, 174121, 231790, 181504, 53384, 187739, 53312, 34902, 155155, 161842, 228806, 264558, 181469, 237000, 30251, 147428, 161184, 184776, 161177, 79916, 181279, 316198, 259181, 257610, 264549, 224325, 279387, 316214, 198301, 148152, 231798, 292886, 243340, 29316, 263564, 198290, 198306, 148895, 279400, 161821, 301036, 243087, 148954, 181464, 5113, 272379, 182224, 164600, 304863, 161822, 210043, 228816, 181481, 225958, 229045, 147354, 228812, 53371, 198255, 49705, 242316, 242655, 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blog_authorship_998237	got back from the show it was great probably the best show i have ever been to...late for life, plain white t's and <PERSON> were there and o yea unsung zeros were there 2 ha it was fun <PERSON> was there and <PERSON> was all crying its dumb but i dunno there are sooo many hott guys at these shows its unfuckinbelieveable yea well i wanna talk to <PERSON> but noooo i cant cuz hes dumb haha <PERSON> kidding anywho thats it o yea im talking to <PERSON> hahahaha anyway i havent talked to <PERSON> in like forever maybe ill give her a call tomorrow well im out peace	317,208	[ 317224 ]	148	[ 181476, 181483, 272377, 181392, 181481, 181464, 181459, 181368, 53372, 300258, 181508, 181500, 183276, 181381, 264569, 250677, 233416, 181401, 181404, 181490, 181498, 181453, 181484, 285111, 244506, 181390, 251848, 187889, 267485, 250679, 181493, 244505, 172800, 300257, 300256, 181366, 181402, 223927, 181461, 181479, 181448, 181417, 205546, 181431, 279394, 181399, 172735, 181409, 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blog_authorship_998237	u no u say u take back everything that u said but i dont maybe thats y it hurts so much more cuz i dont regret anything maybe its because when i said that i loved u i meant it and i still do and always will but right now i think ur an asshole and i fuckin hate u doesnt mean i dont love u i just think that ur treating me like shit and thats not cool cuz i didnt do anything and i wont and for u to think that i will then maybe u dont no me as well as u think u do maybe u really dont love me at all if u could say the things that u said then obviously u dont love me maybe it was to good to be true and had to end well then ha...ha i guess this is the end? o well it was nice knowing ya i had fun...ha	317,209	[ 317224, 317209 ]	162	[ 300885, 259335, 200221, 198270, 272377, 53439, 294780, 277266, 294772, 285123, 268650, 198281, 147741, 143412, 186004, 272378, 264549, 260191, 246562, 210132, 152451, 199315, 53539, 53315, 53431, 148947, 161189, 53372, 181441, 256176, 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blog_authorship_998237	well yea i was having a good day but now im crying last night me and <PERSON> had pretty interesting conversation and <PERSON> being <PERSON> read it and now hes all like i hate loving u its so stupid it would better off if u made out with <PERSON> so i would have a reason to stop loving u i mean what the fuck i didnt do ANYTHING its fuckin bullshit and just the fact that hes not gonna talk to me now and hes in the processes of trying to forget about me maked me feel like shit cuz i dont no what im gonna do without him hes like the reason y im here i have never been this upset over anything like this before and i dont no what to say its like the first time in my life im speechless i fuckin hate everything right now and i wish i was gone so i wouldnt have to worry about it u no if i was dead things would be better right? so then i wouldnt be hurting everyone right? i dunno im just really really upset and i dont no whats gonna happen	317,210	[ 317209 ]	142	[ 79918, 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blog_authorship_998237	'A Place In My Heart' I saw her today, Oh God I miss her smile. A pleasant memory Of things in life worthwhile. [Chorus:] We used to walk and we used to talk We used laugh and we used to cry And there will always be a place in my heart for her. I thought of her today, Of years together spent. A pleasant memory Of places that we went.	317,211	[ 317276, 317333, 317217, 317140, 317160, 317211, 317169, 317196, 317353, 317277, 317175, 317317, 317174, 317240, 317249, 317177, 317178, 317190, 317356, 317260, 317311, 317185, 317156, 317354, 317234, 317194, 317246, 317366, 317349, 317166, 317147, 317176, 317214, 317224, 317201, 317313, 317226, 317219, 317134, 317367, 317139, 317218, 317293, 317348, 317221, 317330, 317204, 317336, 317352, 317149, 317213, 317364, 317170, 317374, 317284, 317228, 317271, 317282, 317223, 317203, 317283, 317184, 317362, 317133, 317244, 317168, 317278, 317262, 317248, 317358, 317255, 317269, 317206, 317142, 317144, 317225, 317241, 317351, 317340, 317191, 317250, 317346, 317288, 317327, 317324 ]	94	[ 71370, 114372, 244518, 189923, 218778, 244357, 285851, 236573, 199481, 52785, 315193, 244533, 176310, 124371, 76231, 71294, 53518, 91081, 114405, 115419, 240761, 285465, 210215, 248618, 139955, 109637, 249657, 219867, 71452, 172980, 77008, 306258, 239244, 8299, 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blog_authorship_998237	ha today some funny stuff happened OMG i saw <PERSON> today and i sat with <PERSON> at lunch WOO HOO it was exciting now im talking to <PERSON> about him being an emo kid its funny well i think something is wrong with <PERSON> i dont no tho u no what i havent talked to <PERSON> in like <PERSON> and when i did he was being an asshole so fuck him anywho i hope theres nothing wrong with <PERSON> cuz i dont like it when he is sad it makes me sad	317,212	null	124	[ 181398, 164602, 264563, 252246, 181464, 279392, 279625, 183410, 277265, 164613, 277262, 188314, 228808, 139435, 181402, 198321, 181476, 213240, 286909, 183632, 247627, 264558, 194358, 183406, 49671, 164612, 164610, 286035, 201066, 198484, 53486, 195387, 164609, 139411, 164614, 190060, 183260, 144576, 252955, 181288, 198267, 206715, 195292, 195327, 172709, 188277, 181448, 148924, 73351, 121702, 164598, 137132, 228795, 192092, 221680, 263956, 176874, 198231, 152489, 148878, 286686, 262691, 237160, 218736, 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blog_authorship_998237	well yea today i had volleyball well i dont remeber wat i last wrote about so im just gonna tell u about my day....umm it was boring i joined photo club and im <PERSON> for volleyball and my picture is going on the wall for photo woo hoo i no im cool but thats it i cant be on the phone longer then 10 anymore which sucks my balls blue i told my dad that ill kill myself if i cant have my phone back and he said well when u write ur suicide note be sure to add that u died cuz of a phone o well im out geometry homework peace	317,213	[ 317276, 317320, 317224, 317200, 317219, 317182, 317354 ]	55	[ 181476, 272377, 181267, 181392, 181404, 275820, 172736, 277128, 181394, 181391, 264549, 181463, 183455, 172707, 148879, 84562, 277127, 172737, 185122, 181368, 267791, 279391, 139439, 2333, 242920, 181498, 183457, 283436, 244510, 172764, 181493, 181418, 181483, 187889, 273041, 188288, 244505, 201774, 181441, 216359, 218209, 183551, 198257, 98624, 183412, 167621, 148863, 181268, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea im having a bad day ive been doing alot of thinking and thats not good ive decided that life isnt worth living anymore when not even ur family cares about u im sick of people treating me like shit its like they dont even notice that im around i hate it really i do i feel like i dont belong anywhere like im not wanted ANYWHERE i dont no i just wish i wasnt around anymore o well	317,214	[ 317320, 317200, 317219, 317220, 317218, 317198, 317271, 317311, 317225, 317209, 317366, 317277, 317201, 317182, 317294, 317252, 317137, 317226, 317344, 317365, 317276 ]	113	[ 276107, 263931, 267794, 147354, 147405, 294771, 225979, 288346, 271049, 34925, 34931, 147349, 139453, 188937, 253617, 161823, 199405, 161829, 161190, 264554, 147422, 210672, 148361, 228806, 49697, 236744, 161187, 272377, 187858, 228809, 198255, 155155, 236078, 264559, 260990, 267797, 157573, 181274, 181288, 296107, 89915, 258803, 275815, 205665, 181408, 300885, 147376, 2224, 228816, 279400, 188356, 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blog_authorship_998237	today was exciting not really but o well im mad at <PERSON>s mean i dont no i love him anyway y i dont no i dont understand but i miss him : ( yea yea yea im a loser i dont care i think i might cry i dont no why but i think i might over what i dont no ooo wait i think i no.....5 letters...K. E. V. I. N. i hate being in love with him when hes so far away cuz i wanna see him so bad and be with him and whatknot but i cant and its no fun and maybe cuz hes really mean and i dont like it its no fun o well tho nothing i can do about it or him i hate it i have no control over my life its like someone is controling it for me like im a puppet of some sort with this strange ugly guy control my thoughts and my every mood and no matter how hard i try to pull away free he keeps pulling me in deeper and deeper yea i dont no im a weirdo o well i dont care anyway im out peace	317,215	null	142	[ 272377, 181476, 181464, 242926, 181398, 264559, 264569, 288996, 147341, 181279, 147376, 188274, 143665, 272378, 181469, 181409, 231787, 181441, 181392, 181402, 183551, 84395, 181317, 267806, 181410, 248477, 228808, 181436, 181503, 181258, 264558, 198257, 53431, 229045, 148959, 183276, 259181, 139445, 181478, 218224, 181288, 272379, 161822, 264549, 299628, 193316, 181390, 70509, 139449, 199405, 292886, 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blog_authorship_998237	well yea im at kirks house just got back from the mall woo hoo another friday at the mall tomorrow is a show i wanna go but i doubt it anywho i have a game tomorrow to exciting alright well thats it thats my life i no sooo sooo interesting well im out <PERSON> o yea i saw <PERSON> at the mall yay for me well <PERSON>	317,216	[ 317354, 317276, 317320, 317209, 317198, 317219, 317200, 317220, 317218, 317201, 317271, 317172 ]	234	[ 281490, 139439, 149003, 172689, 263604, 181476, 244459, 172700, 172737, 204250, 181394, 233200, 243204, 148912, 252965, 181418, 261579, 272377, 163266, 218291, 188347, 286893, 172720, 162975, 243192, 300258, 187722, 188376, 164598, 223927, 181493, 269772, 285111, 181498, 181417, 172686, 163182, 172736, 236650, 34907, 183278, 155533, 283387, 181368, 84595, 260987, 243201, 210691, 264890, 275806, 257254, 172668, 190066, 273089, 185146, 243190, 188266, 268158, 246556, 154070, 181390, 287708, 183513, 217243, 183263, 294244, 178362, 174128, 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blog_authorship_998237	well yea today i had school fun not really i have really EASY classes....photo, drivers ed, geometry, and english yea easy theres alot of people i no in my lunch which is fun but yea i dont no i bored im at kirks and i dont no how to use the AIM i no im dumb anyway im eating popcorn yummy ha my legs r soo sore from volleyball u have no idea well i think im out peace guess what i dotn no im hungry and o yea i have been thinking...i dont think <PERSON> likes me anymore....yea i dont no y but i think so? but i dont no? all i no is i LOVE him like u have no idea but i dont think he still feels the same i dont no y? but i dunno well im out peace	317,217	[ 317276, 317224 ]	138	[ 181464, 181258, 272377, 272371, 172686, 181279, 181476, 181503, 181388, 181398, 181453, 181436, 181471, 181419, 181332, 161822, 181441, 181282, 181484, 181375, 242926, 181325, 147341, 193316, 269812, 181299, 181402, 181473, 84279, 84448, 181431, 181428, 181420, 212365, 181478, 181409, 199405, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well today was fun but then it sucked my mother went nuts on me said she hated me i was a disappointment u no the usal so tomorrow im leaving im gonna camp out at ginas and <PERSON> house i think we are going out with <PERSON> tomorrow i REALLLLY want to like REALLLY bad but u no i leave in 3 days so i doubt i will anyway thats it so yea im out PEACE	317,218	[ 317320, 317276, 317224, 317219, 317220, 317225, 317209, 317200 ]	13	[ 272377, 79918, 298227, 183281, 285111, 181394, 172761, 272371, 172686, 172764, 181368, 223927, 172737, 218292, 181375, 272657, 181476, 181484, 185146, 172744, 181453, 223930, 183266, 181493, 218678, 181409, 181498, 283436, 287297, 181404, 227757, 172765, 217245, 181478, 181473, 306422, 181455, 90197, 163266, 181508, 218294, 218295, 282892, 287304, 181441, 181470, 300255, 225975, 292971, 181417, 185144, 282886, 181444, 225955, 287300, 250677, 181351, 181448, 250679, 283387, 84142, 217214, 167605, 181489, 163182, 291339, 185145, 185139, 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blog_authorship_998237	yea well i need to sleep damn <PERSON> is coming over at 1030 in the damn morning oo well anywho im bored and need to sleep but i cant well like 4 more days and i go back im sad very very very oo well theres nothing i can do about it i hope we go out with the cross guys at least one more time before i leave..........	317,219	[ 317200, 317182, 317220, 317320, 317219, 317209, 317198, 317218, 317208 ]	18	[ 279387, 187711, 197539, 285120, 79918, 148921, 197512, 202393, 277134, 240092, 283497, 181476, 155488, 148956, 218293, 181043, 279395, 148875, 148182, 283387, 279997, 267472, 193077, 250663, 247934, 181503, 247922, 178882, 237157, 277127, 152257, 272377, 174105, 181368, 148864, 139426, 233805, 171641, 182187, 237154, 192140, 53437, 155508, 164600, 178396, 236743, 198239, 164621, 174124, 190077, 282886, 282895, 275790, 210689, 181471, 185145, 183632, 193143, 198236, 198231, 172770, 79910, 11249, 250054, 79891, 287029, 231864, 181288, 248601, 29166, 289388, 148960, 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blog_authorship_998237	alright well lets see monday i saw <PERSON> and ALOT of people at mcdonalds he stole my shoe and when me and <PERSON> went back to ginas we talked to him and <PERSON> for like 100 hours and got alot of things acomplished then <PERSON> got mad at me which was nott fun well last night was fun we went to a hotel party with the cross guys yea yea yea funness then we went to carries not fun the cross guya and the pats guys got into a fight long story not gonna get inot it well now i have to babysit so im out PEACE	317,220	[ 317320, 317224, 317135, 317182 ]	167	[ 223930, 252330, 282889, 287297, 181417, 181368, 223927, 300256, 272377, 172762, 181403, 204014, 300262, 263625, 181444, 282892, 205546, 253186, 250688, 223929, 263618, 263609, 264569, 263614, 204033, 181409, 181402, 181461, 204018, 181470, 300258, 83435, 187883, 163182, 204026, 285111, 282886, 185811, 183266, 154063, 185106, 183270, 193316, 204040, 206366, 250696, 181398, 218294, 184773, 250678, 174807, 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blog_authorship_998237	ha friday night and what is <PERSON> doing......? sitting on her ass y? because...well actually i dont really no...there was a show tonight i REALLY wanted to go to but noooo i didnt have a ride because A) i dont have a car, B) dont have a license and C)shanna my friend with a car is made at me for some reason that im not aware of so i sat at home all by myself and i made cookies...they turned out REALLY bad taste like shit...well i wouldnt no what shit taste like but im pretty sure it would taste like my cookies anyway thats about it <PERSON> should be home soon actually i lied....still like 2 hours well thats it im gonna go and find my vcr and watch kids	317,221	null	122	[ 272377, 273109, 181476, 181299, 225956, 260987, 228809, 200269, 181469, 242818, 195369, 251524, 225971, 275810, 53315, 139439, 148894, 183589, 210998, 231863, 139453, 190060, 73357, 148153, 263933, 156465, 250680, 286694, 148959, 231794, 218675, 222456, 266098, 139430, 275796, 148896, 228816, 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blog_authorship_998237	ok i have decided alot today...hmm where to start...ok well i got a job!! yay i no im so excitied i start tomorrow 10$ an hour gonna be great.. my dad is definitly selling wisconsin and i cried <PERSON> its soo sad nobody understands and nobody ever will its like hes selling my life and he doesnt even care i grew up there it was the only place i felt like i belonged and i felt safe there like i was suppose to be there i imagined myself getting old and having my grand kids come there and i imagined dieing there and everything that place is like a part of me ok yea that sounds really dumb but there is soo much history in that house and that lake and my backyard and everything i love it so much and now its gone i dont even get a chance to stay there one last time the next time i get to go its not gonna be mine anymore and even if i do the boats wont be in there wont be any fires nobody will be around it wont be the same but i guess i gotta let go its only my childhood and everything i live for but hey its ok....i have realized that i really need to get my porities straight like school and stuff cuz i have been slacking its bad im failing geometry BADLY i have a 51.2 which is BAD i spend to much time doing what i want then what im suppose to be doing...its like sooner then later im gonna wake up and my life is gonna be over and i never accomplished anything...i wanna do something with my life i wanna be known for something i wanna make a difference some how really i do i want to successful and i want my life to be good i want to wake up and be proud and happy im still here and im useful i dont want to no that im not worth anything im just so afriad im not gonna do anything with my life and i really dont want that...hmm what else....ok this is for real im starting my work out shit stuff today im starting all over like i did last year i dont want to be lazy nad fat anymore i wanna get into the shape i was before because to tell u the truth i was SO much happier and my self esteem was out the roof and now its 6 feet under...thats another thing i need to stop putting myself down all the time for some reason today i felt realy bad like i was nothing i waste of space i have NO idea y i just woke up and said 'damn it <PERSON> ur ugly ur not worth the oxygen u breathe' i hate making myself feel like that but i do it ALL the time and i dont no y i also need to start caring about certain stuff and actually try and quit slacking off and do what i need to do...wow r u reading all this motivation? <PERSON> ok well i think im done ill right <PERSON> if i come up with other stuff	317,222	[ 317219, 317320, 317218, 317225, 317201, 317200, 317220, 317311, 317271 ]	210	[ 181288, 181476, 148959, 288996, 53315, 198255, 198231, 152411, 148922, 294771, 299627, 294770, 70216, 228816, 276107, 53323, 294772, 267797, 312265, 291336, 98624, 181311, 152256, 181464, 148947, 199405, 155508, 283395, 154687, 53312, 139436, 271033, 231790, 157508, 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blog_authorship_998237	ok hmm teddies having a bad day i found out some stuff that i really didnt want to hear but hey theres nothing i can do about it really theres nothing well yea i cried last night and this morning cuz im a fuckin baby like that but hey thats how i deal with things im just gonna try and forget about it but i dunno ok thats it peace out	317,223	[ 317320, 317220, 317200, 317224, 317182, 317219, 317137, 317218, 317366, 317344, 317252, 317198, 317271, 317335, 317347, 317277, 317311, 317209, 317225 ]	113	[ 181503, 139474, 295265, 49782, 181312, 312259, 266098, 256176, 241573, 217228, 172724, 139456, 192229, 172760, 241574, 256175, 266090, 272371, 187867, 266091, 264569, 181542, 272378, 241569, 34910, 244459, 154687, 172737, 249084, 198231, 139394, 200231, 228809, 188366, 181481, 181364, 53353, 139445, 148848, 266099, 53315, 183253, 187742, 251531, 163181, 256174, 298234, 190062, 152405, 218675, 228816, 315557, 181476, 272380, 181332, 257612, 238308, 181469, 172707, 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blog_authorship_998237	i just got back from the show i went with <PERSON> and <PERSON> <PERSON> and some other people were there it was fun ive been to better but it wasnt bad...any day now played <PERSON> and others but those were the only good ones i got a new cd...the scams OMH they r so good..anyway <PERSON> was there HAHAHA holy shit it was soo funny...she went with <PERSON> and <PERSON> and <PERSON> friends we were tlaking and we talked <PERSON> all like i wasnt throwing shit on u i told them to stop really i did i think ur cool i dont have a problem with u at all its the other girl i dont like and i asked her y and shes like well cuz shes a poser and im like well <PERSON> u were a cheerleader last year how r u not a poser but she was like u no i dont hate u blah blah blah i dont have a problem with u <PERSON> so yea haha its funny anyway there was this kid there and he kept following me he said he was in my english class but i dont no him at all he was like following me EVERY where and then hes like o do u have a bf? and im like yeaaaaa he was all like sad and shit it was soo funny and when i was leaving he tired to give me a hug and i ran away from him he was sooo SCARY! anyway yup that was my night nothing special hahaha <PERSON> said he got his lip pierced tonight wow thats sooo hott yup i wanna talk to <PERSON> but hes out he wont be home for a long time OMG i thnk i have an eating disorder like every time i eat i feel sooo sick and i lost 5 pounds in 3 days i dont think thats good anyway yea im gonna die well now im gonan go lay down and sleep	317,224	null	111	[ 272377, 264569, 183254, 183255, 250672, 251543, 250677, 181448, 181476, 178391, 188313, 264549, 268408, 89925, 147421, 218229, 181470, 244506, 176898, 192237, 183270, 279395, 267806, 148920, 183261, 188322, 183257, 279394, 181417, 181368, 286417, 139401, 266183, 183253, 183658, 300889, 251524, 147425, 161745, 190060, 181478, 159419, 250661, 183284, 225981, 181500, 139405, 53486, 299628, 183676, 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blog_authorship_998237	i hate everyone i hate EVERYONE theres not one person i can think of right now that i wouldnt mind talking to everyone i no treats me like shit and i hate it u have no idea its like they dont care and want nothing to do with me seriously i dont understand it evry person i no treats me like im nothing and im so sick of it its bullshit i dont even fuckin care anymore im just gonna forget about the ones that dont care about me and find someone new and move on cuz right now i want nothing to do with them	317,225	[ 317320, 317182, 317200, 317198, 317220, 317219, 317271, 317137, 317218, 317209, 317243, 317366, 317344, 317277, 317208, 317225, 317308, 317224 ]	190	[ 156035, 161187, 147349, 161189, 198231, 49726, 242655, 53431, 200231, 198271, 181542, 49671, 251885, 139449, 152256, 2224, 207488, 268911, 292886, 152486, 188276, 251502, 155511, 264554, 181456, 181279, 34902, 181311, 271055, 198281, 176975, 258803, 210672, 231790, 161181, 148947, 34986, 34885, 182217, 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blog_authorship_998237	ok yea well im bored and in school its no fun i need to sleep i dont no how im going to make it threw today o wow isnt that a song ha i dont no anyway yea for some reason <PERSON> is really getting me mad i dont no tho but i have no idea its soo weird he was all like ha i talked to <PERSON> more then u this weekend blah blah blah she was #1 this weekend and u were #2 blah blah blah shes my new best friend blah blah blah o man it got me mad i dont even no y but it did cuz knowing her shes gonna start liking him and whatknot and things r gonna get gay anyway thats about it now i would like to say <PERSON> is the coolest guy i no yes thats right hes my #1 and your my #2 peace out	317,226	[ 317224 ]	55	[ 264569, 181406, 266183, 264549, 271048, 183624, 264566, 264568, 143672, 244506, 84141, 224321, 79886, 231211, 29157, 251512, 187874, 147421, 176770, 199310, 213240, 161179, 181265, 172681, 174306, 215127, 155064, 257643, 183658, 312278, 228234, 163980, 260197, 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blog_authorship_998237	i can still remember it wasn't long ago. things you used to tell me, you said i had to know. told me that you loved me and that you always would. then i said i loved you. you said that that was good. girl, you made a promise, said you'd never want me to go. oh no! indian giver, indian giver, you took your love away from me. indian giver, indian giver, took back the love you gave to me. baby, i was feeling the way i want to feel. you had me believing the love we had was real. things we did together you said they'd never end. 'now until forever.' yeah, that was what you said. girl, when i was down, i knew you'd always be there. oh, yeah! <PERSON>, indian giver, you took your love away from me. <PERSON>, indian giver, took back the love you gave to me.	317,227	[ 317276, 317185, 317313, 317196, 317134, 317217, 317175, 317353, 317169, 317224, 317144, 317352, 317187, 317246, 317176, 317354, 317333, 317358, 317174, 317194, 317190, 317178, 317139, 317260, 317317, 317177, 317160, 317163, 317234, 317362, 317269, 317204, 317330, 317149, 317322, 317156, 317221, 317214, 317132 ]	162	[ 163993, 308647, 187569, 88104, 252993, 212252, 252677, 19285, 251176, 261684, 161330, 160982, 132476, 109626, 186231, 239335, 70526, 199697, 304319, 291461, 72009, 179570, 233439, 243474, 183404, 192167, 315116, 183632, 48069, 254754, 74304, 36950, 206405, 189203, 298257, 30110, 245180, 142043, 159049, 162075, 305016, 273950, 78553, 250048, 202948, 156395, 281702, 157808, 302665, 213712, 213804, 145056, 293714, 70224, 296895, 174035, 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blog_authorship_998237	ok well this little message right about here goes out to <PERSON> because he needs to learn how to actually trust people....first off i didnt do shit abd for u to break up with me because u ASSUMED i had someone else on my mind was soo wrong of u i cant believe u would actually think that i would do that to u....then obviously all the shit u have ever said to me wasnt true because u didnt even talk to me before u made the decsion to break up with me...and whats gonna happen when u do realize tomorrow that what u did was wrong and that i do realy love u and i do really care about u and everything and u try to apologize like u do every fuckin time u pull shit like this and i dont take u back because i actually sat down and talked to some people and i think they knocked some send into me...because what they said so makes sense....for u to make me feel this way( the crying, the shakening, the puking, the cutting the everything) then ur not worth it and im probably better on my own right? but it hurts so much to say that cuz i really do love u and i really do care about u and all that shit u said to me the night before i really did believe but i guess it wasnt true and theres a part of me thats wants to tell <PERSON> everythign will be fine and it will be like nothing ever happened but theres another part of me that says maybe this is better because then i wont have to think about u all the time and i can move on with my life but then i dont want to cuz i REALLY do love u but the thing i dont understand is i didnt do ANYTHING! really i didnt do anything and everyone i talked to tonight didnt understand either they all said they no i would never ever ever ever ever cheat on u in any possible way ever and for u to not understand that its fucked up seriously fucked up how can u be so closed minded so inconsiderate so wrong to think that someone who tells u they love u and means it with all their heart and would give the world to u would ever want to hurt u in anyway i dont understand it and obviously if u really think i liked this kid or really was obssesed with him u really dont no me at all	317,228	[ 317134 ]	142	[ 34956, 148929, 272377, 236603, 148959, 268064, 300885, 198274, 49671, 225979, 148918, 183257, 185497, 190828, 251503, 198231, 157508, 213210, 211439, 276689, 200275, 156035, 187562, 148947, 144476, 277266, 272378, 299635, 148933, 147341, 200269, 268958, 254936, 251525, 148958, 157514, 268650, 294769, 300889, 152441, 302637, 281521, 188313, 152256, 198227, 53323, 181542, 209987, 199405, 279671, 302635, 308463, 53431, 211442, 190060, 271049, 53315, 198296, 231793, 205665, 29316, 161846, 207191, 209477, 250633, 109521, 187785, 286691, 155544, 194342, 198255, 297324, 209478, 139436, 223734, 294771, 236997, 197587, 186363, 187746, 258773, 276097, 259340, 260972, 285123, 157592, 53366, 152411, 161188, 148895, 148916, 44051, 181504, 207236, 155511, 84317, 211415, 210254, 240152, 250990, 187744, 148952, 254662, 148922, 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blog_authorship_996147

Went up to the cottage last night, mainly to water some plants, but we figured that since we were up there we might as well spend the night up there. Brought the iBook up along with the Japan books in an attempt to tighten up our itinerary. I think we did alright. Installed Blosxon and Movabletype on this machine as well. I figure I'd play around with them and see how they work out for blogging. It's not that difficult to install, but will take a little time to figure out how to customize. :-)

317,129

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blog_authorship_996147

Ahhhhh! The weekend at last! I thought it would never come! It's just been yet another wild and crazy week at work. Sometimes I don't feel like I get much of a break in between days. I hope to relax a bit this weekend. We'll prob go up to the cottage Saturday night. Need to water the plants, but figure it would be nice to take advantage of <PERSON>'s parents not being there. Got some ground meat out of the freezer the other day. Should be good to go for tomorrow :) Had a discussion at lunch about just getting up and moving to another country. <PERSON> can easily get used to the idea. He's already been in other places for extended periods for work, so it would not be a big deal for him to get up and go. For others of us, it is a bit more difficult. There's this one girl at work who took a sabbatical and went to Africa where her sister was at the time. I don't think we can take sabbaticals nowadays. You just can't guarantee that you'll come back to a job. Oh well.. maybe one day when things get better. 8-)

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blog_authorship_996147

Well, I think I am really starting to feel old. Went to the <PERSON> concert last night (free tix!). Maybe it's me, or maybe it's where we were sitting, but I found the music a bit too loud. It seems like the pumped up the volume to the point where the singer's voice was becoming distorted. I just could not make out what he was singing. Of course, not being a big DMB fan, I am at a disadvantage with regards to what the lyrics could have been! So, today, my ears are not ringing too much, but for one reason or another, I have this stiff neck. This is too bad, because I was hoping to play softball tonight. The team won yesterday! But I don't want to aggravate this stiff neck. :-p Sux to be old. Anyway, still counting down the days to Japan! Come the end of the week, we will have approximately 3 weeks to go!! :-D Payday tomorrow! WOO HOO!!

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blog_authorship_996147

Had gone over to Jardin Jasmin yesterday and came away with just dirt! Actually, that's probably a good thing. I've got to look into taking better care of the orchids I have before I think about getting any more plants! Anyway, we picked up a big bag of this stuff called hydroton. they're like these little marble-sized balls made of baked clay. In any case, we saw them used at the nursery for some plants that like a very moist environment. I figure they would be great for the orchids to sit on top of! It looks like they can stay moist for a while. Also picked up a bag of soil for cactus and a bag of soil for african violets. We need to repot one of <PERSON>'s plants and one of two plants I got from work needs more media. I am really starting to like this little iBook. I think that with each day I use it, the more accustomed I become with it. There are prob still some things about the OS X environment I haven't discovered yet, but soon enough I will be an old hand at it. I really like doing stuff wirelessly. I don't know how I managed to compute from the PC desktop. I don't think I will be giving up my desktop any time soon, yet, most of this weekend, I had been using the iBook. I've also set it up so that I can receive my email on this machine. Hope my PC doesn't get too lonely... Anyways, it's exactly one month before the big trip!!! :) 1 day down, 29 more to go!!!! Darn! Have to go back to work tomorrow. Even these long weekends just don't seem very long any more. I'm supposed to play softball tomorrow, but we got tickets (from <PERSON>) for the <PERSON> concert at the Bell Centre. Hrm... Oh well. I'm sure the team can handle things just fine without me! :D Well, hey! What would you choose? ;-) Had a taste of moon cake today. I had bought a tin of them on Saturday. They're from HK. They're rather tasty but rather rich. No wonder no one ever eats a whole one in one sitting! These things can be deadly when eaten in large quantities! We stopped by <PERSON> and <PERSON>'s to pick up the concert tickets and I brought them a small care basket of some braised beef I made last night and a mooncake. I think <PERSON> will appreciate the moon cake. :D Anyway, we tossed around the idea of going up to the cottage next weekend. Maybe see if <PERSON> and <PERSON> would like to come along and spend the day there. It should be nice. I just hope the weather cooperates. :-)

317,132

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blog_authorship_996147

It's been a rough week... It started off slow... but I should have known that it was the calm before the storm. Silly me. I saw the signs. I should have acted sooner. Oh well.. I guess I will have to live with it. Of course, half the team will be on vacation for the next two week. That leaves just 5 of us to do the work of 10. We are going to have so much FUN! Not.... We shall see what state of mind we will all be in after 2 weeks... Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of.... Packaging in Paradise!

317,133

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73

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blog_authorship_996147

Yet another Monday. I suppose it's become a mantra for many of us when we come into the office on a Monday morning. Bleah. At least I had a decent weekend. The parents were by on their little road trip through Canada (Niagara Falls, Toronto, Montreal). The weather co-operated so we had a nice time checking out Chinatown and the downtown area. We had dim sum for lunch which wasn't bad. Got me some new Merrells at MEC and the boys picked up some KK while we were there. Picked up a few steaks at the local butcher as well as a couple of brochettes to grill for dinner. All in all, we had a nice time. The folks left early on Sunday. The rest of the day we vegged and worked on some small things. <PERSON> did a clean install of OSX on the 12 inch iBook. Had some problems afterwards with it communicating with the Airport Base Station. I couldn't quite figure out why it just won't see it. It could see a neighboring wireless network but not ours. After some fiddling around and resetting the base station, I managed to get it (and my iBook) to see the base station again. Before the settings for the airport were set to 'Automatic'. Now they are set to specifically connect to our base station. I'm wondering if it's because the other network was using 10.0.1.1 as well? Hmmm... Well, whatever the problem was, everything is working again. :-) I'm wondering if that's why we occasionally lose contact with the base station.... So, after much dicking around with that, we needed to pick up a few things from the store as well as a new toner catridge for the printer. That done, <PERSON> was back to reading up on CSS. I think I'll let him become the expert on that one. :-) After having looked for and downloaded all sorts of documentation on CSS, he finally remembered that he had bought a 2nd hand book on DHTML and CSS when we were in Boston (gotta love that <PERSON><IP_ADDRESS> as well? Hmmm... Well, whatever the problem was, everything is working again. :-) I'm wondering if that's why we occasionally lose contact with the base station.... So, after much dicking around with that, we needed to pick up a few things from the store as well as a new toner catridge for the printer. That done, Dave was back to reading up on CSS. I think I'll let him become the expert on that one. :-) After having looked for and downloaded all sorts of documentation on CSS, he finally remembered that he had bought a 2nd hand book on DHTML and CSS when we were in Boston (gotta love that Victor Hugo book store on Newbury street). So I guess he'll be reading that for a while. In the meantime, I should get my own ass in gear and read up on some stuff as well. The problem I'm having is finding the energy to even get started. I want to learn a bit about Perl programming. I'd like to have a look at CSS as well. Oh well... We'll see how things work out with the O2 as a server. Will have to investigate a bit further about ISPs.....

317,134

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175

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blog_authorship_996147

The mind is such a terrible thing to waste... So, don't use it!!!! ;-) Yet another day. I don't know if Tuesdays are any better or worse than Mondays. OK, so we're one day closer to Friday on a Tuesday than if it were a Monday. However, Tuesday is still closer to the beginning of the work week than it is to the weekend. Tuesday is just one of those days. There must be a conspiracy behind Tuesdays. I find that programming on TV for Tuesdays are quite boring compared to other days of the week. Why is that? Something to think about on a Tuesday, I suppose. ;-) Day has been relatively quite. Like yesterday, I've got stuff to do, but nothing that's too overwhelming (thank goodness!). Yet, I don't feel that I am as busy as I should or could be. Look at this! I'm blogging during my lunch hour! I guess it's probably better I wasn't working and eating my lunch at the same time. I read somewhere that this is not really healthy for you. I suppose one thing that could happen is that you get indigestion or heartburn if you're stressed over work while eating. Not a good thing, I guess... Maybe I'll post more pictures later. :)

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blog_authorship_996147

Why is it that on Mondays I really don't feel like doing a heck of a whole lot? Or maybe there just doesn't seem to be a whole lot happening today. :-p Clouds have been coming in and out during the day. There was a sprinkle or two in the morning. If the weather remains stable, I might decide to ride into work tomorrow. We'll see... I hate days where I just sit around waiting for the next crisis to pop up. I've managed to do what I need to have done today done already. There are plans to do some other stuff, but that's only for tomorrow. bored, bored, bored..... maybe I shouldn't say that. I might jinx things.... :-o

317,136

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blog_authorship_996147

Quick Grill Idea Marinate boneless, skinless chicken breast in some italian dressing for about an hour. Prepare as a side some veggies. Grill chicken breasts on the ol' bbq and VOILA! Dinner is ready! Gotta love summer grilling. It's fast and easy. Another yummy idea: Chicken Satay. Follow the recipe on a jar of Thai Kitchen's Spicy Thai Peanut Sauce and you've got yourself some delicious chicken satay with some kick! :-)

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blog_authorship_996147

It's Saturday. Do you know where your mind is? Somedays I wonder about that. I think it's there. But then, if I think, therefore I mind? Not that simple is it? It's sunny. I'm listening to some Latin tunes courtesy of Putumayo. It's a change of pace from whatever is usually playing on the radio or the music video stations. Plus, my CD collection has been a bit stale lately. I haven't really been inspired by much these days in the music department. At work I usually tune into either urlLink Ministry of Sound or urlLink Trance Airwaves . Maybe it's because it's easy for me to push the music into the background while I work. I notice that when there is no background noise or music, it's a tad more difficult for me to concentrate on what I am doing. Strange, no? The other half has gone off on a bike ride around the island. I think he needs to work off some of the stress he's been feeling at work as well. It's been rough since it's currently just he and his boss running the operation. Sometimes he has to pull some long hours. I'm just glad he doesn't have to go into work today. :-p I suppose I should try to be a bit more productive today. Maybe I can try to finish Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix . It's been languishing on my nightstand for some months now. Hmm, better make that a year. I think I picked up the book not long after it was released. I have such a backlog of books to read. I recently ordered two books by <PERSON> (A Cook's Tour on FoodTV) from _URL_0_. I almost wanted to get some computer books at Chapter's recently, but then remembered that there was a library at work. Saved quite a few bucks right there! Hmm.. Maybe I should look into trying some of the recipes in Flavors of Aloha. It's a neat little cookbook I picked up when we were in Hawaii this past May. It's put together by the Japanese Women's Societ of Honolulu. It's got a nice mix of recipes from the different ethnic groups that populate Hawaii. Quite a few of the recipes are traditional with a Hawaiian twist to it. I should mention that while we were there we did not have any Spam. We did have some poke which is quite delicious and is a different spin on sashimi. :) OK, all this food talk is starting to make me hungry. I think it's time for breakfast. ;-)

317,138

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49

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blog_authorship_996147

C'est le weekend!   Finally.  The end of the week is here.  It just couldn't get here fast enough.  I am just absolutely zapped!  but the crazy thing is, sometimes, even after I've gotten home, work still seems to follow me.  That kinda sucks. :-p   So, what to do this weekend?  Well, we've got tickets to go see ' urlLink Cutie Honey at the urlLink Fantasia film festival! That's on Sunday though.   Other than that I just hope to unwind and relax a bit this weekend.  I don't want to exert too much of my gray matter.  Or, what's left of it anyway....    

317,139

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blog_authorship_996147

Another day, another dollar. Yet another rip, roaring day at the office today. The usual B.S. and craziness. Everyone making demands of all of us. It's amazing that no one has gone postal yet! %-] But other than that, I think I managed to accomplish what I was hoping for today. Of course, some stuff had to be put on hold until an a proper solution is found. :-p A bit frustrating if you've already put in a lot of hours into it. In the meantime, I am rather exhausted! I am just about ready to zonk out! But I figure I'd write a little bit. I've also been trying to work on building up an itinerary for next year's Japan trip. If we take 4 weeks, then we could probably get to visit more places... It's been slow going... :-/ Anyway...

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blog_authorship_996147

Argh!!! I hate telemarketers... But thank goodness for caller ID. For some reason, I have been getting some unsolicited calls from chinese telemarketers. It just annoys the hell out of me! Just because I have a Chinese surname, they assume they can sell me something. These calls tend to be originating from the Toronto area and they all want to sell me long distance!!! :-p Needless to say, they almost always try to call during dinner time. :-p Anyway, today was just one those days at work where things just keep coming at you one right after another. It was a relatively busy day but they were mainly issues about one thing or another. I kinda like dealing with issues as long as it's something that makes me think a bit. Ho hum.....

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blog_authorship_996147

OK.. not quite ready for bed... Neglected to mention that back in January, in the throes of wanting to spend some money, I got myself a 14-inch G4 iBook. Of course this was just some weeks before Apple announced the release of an even more updated version of the iBook. :-p Other than that, I'm quite satisfied with this little machine. At first, I really wasn't sure if I had wanted the 12-inch or the 14-inch. I had used the older 12-inch and I liked the compactness of it. But, I decided to go 'big' and get the 14-inch. It took a little getting used to, but it's great. :-) OK... Now I try to go to sleep... %-)

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blog_authorship_996147

Finally, it's the end of the work week. However, I don't think my work is done. I've still got to go into work Saturday to finish up something I can't remotely from home. :-p Kinda sucks. A bit stressful this week. Had to work on some stuff that the customer wanted today, but it was delivered to us somewhat incomplete. If they knew what they were testing, they would have caught this little oversight. As it was, I had to discover this little problem. Oh well, the customer, needless to say, did not get their patch today. We'll see if the escalation process yields any answers on Monday. Got a hair appointment tomorrow as well. I think I'll go to my appointment before heading into the office. <PERSON> has to go into work tomorrow too. Oh well, at least it's both of us. Still trying to research some more stuff for next year's trip to Japan. I had printed out some stuff from the JNTO site for some placed in the Chubu area. Will try to print out some more stuff later. Here's a urlLink link my brother just showed me. A cyclist he knows. Crazy things. Speaking of crazy... Car started to start up a bit louder than usual as well as making some funny noises. Brought it to the garage Tuesday night, next day, he tells me that the exhaust pipe fell off as he was moving the car out and back into the garage. Funny it happens at the garage and not on the street! Strange luck! Need to start planning the painting of the bathroom. Brought back a slew of color samples last week, but we haven't had a chance to go through them yet. Oh well.... *YAWN* Ok, that's it...

317,143

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blog_authorship_996147

Not much about anything... I woke up this morning feeling quite exhausted. I don't know why. I can't say that I have been overworked, nor have I been physically pushing myself either. Maybe it's time for another vacation. Another? Yes, we just took 2 weeks in May to jet off to bee-yoo-tee-full Hawaii. The weather could have been better, but overall, it was really nice, albeit a bit expensive. My Mastercard bill is still reminding me how expensive it was. :-p Highlights of the trip? Well, we got to visit three of the islands: Kauai, Maui and Hawaii (the Big Island). On Kauai, I would have to say it was the boat trip to the Napali Coast. At the same time, it was also sort of the low-light because I nearly tossed my cookies because of the rough waters. :-p But the sight was spectacular! On Mauai, I think the drive up Haleakala was really nice, especially the views of the cindercones from the top. Coincidentally, that was also the day we were suppose to do the mountain bike ride down from Haleakala. :-/ On Hawaii, it would have to be the lava flows. After trekking about a mile and a half out, we got to see real, red, flowing lava. Despite the heat and the exhaustion, it was a trek well worth the physical pain. Also got to see some petroglyphs on the way down to the end of the Chain of Craters Road. Would we visit Hawaii again? Probably not any time soon. We found it a bit expensive despite the deals we got on our hotels, cars and flights. In general, food is not cheap. When we visited a supermarket on Maui, we were somewhat put-off by the price of some everyday items like orange juice. I suppose that since everything has to be shipped over from the mainland, a certain premium has to be paid for these items. So, as a result, everything else is also rather expensive. Real estate is also at a premium out there for obvious reasons. Amazingly, while we were there, gas prices had started to climb in the US and Hawaii did not have the highest gas prices. California did! Well, planning has started for our next vacation. We're planning another trip to Japan in 2005. This time we want to go for 3 weeks. Also, <PERSON> bought tickets for the World's Expo, so there's another reason for going. :-) We haven't come up with a firm itinerary yet. However, this time I'd like to try to make it down to Fukuoka and Beppu. We'll probably make Kyoto our homebase for visiting the Expo site in Aichi prefecture. We figure that it'd be nicer to stay in Kyoto versus Nagoya. And with the rail pass it would make commuting between Kyoto and Nagoya easier. Will have to investigate some possible destinations soon! :-)

317,144

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blog_authorship_997488

baltimore is rainy today, but not too cold. the leaves have all turned red, so it's really beautiful, especially on my street. i love rain. if i took a photograph of my street right now, it'd be almost like a postcard, with old colorful houses, cobblestone road, shiny drenched ground, and red and yellow leaves everywhere. and no one would probably guess it's baltimore (except for the rowhouses, which would be a dead giveaway), the crime/homocide/drug/poverty capital of america. it's like <PERSON> kodachrome song, 'makes you think all the world's a sunny day.' poor balto; it can actually be quite lovely. amazing what we've done to this city, and much of the world. mankind's impact on the earth and itself boggles the mind. we've just finished the week-long human behavior course. one of the lectures was on drug abuse and addiction, in which we had to read an excerpt from 'the corner,' a rather famous piece about drug in baltimore. after that lecture i went home and watched traffic (courtesy of <PERSON>...still). it absolutely appalls me the magnitude of the drug problem and the depth to which it is injuring and murdering our people and society. yet isn't it all done to us by ourselves? from the movie, which was heralded as a not-so-unrealistic portrait, it paints an overwhelming picture of the drug problem in america. it was almost disheartening and discouraging. but there're lots that can and needs to be done. check this out: _URL_0_ on a lighter note, here're some great new from the world of formula one racing. jaguar team has secured two new drivers, although the rationale for bumping <PERSON> off the team is bizzare, borderlining stupid. (hopefully there are some good reasons behind it, 'cuz irvine has done respectably well for jaguar.) the r4 (next year's car) will be unveiled on january 13, 2003. best of luck to one of my favorite team. and <PERSON> is jumping on the ford wagon, becoming another ford cosworth-powered team. yeah! i've always liked the jordan team. and team arrows will be amongst the entry next year, as it has been taken over the a german company. it's a bit of a disappointment, though, 'cuz i thought it was going to be taken over by the americans, reportedly <PERSON>. arrows has always had real nice-looking cars. as for cart, it's quite a pity that so many famous teams ditched it for irl next year. in my opinion, cart is much more exciting than irl, what with its international stint, road and street courses, and big-time players that occassionaly jump over to formula and become stars. seems to me irl is somewhat of a nascar with open-wheeled racing machines; oval tracks are just not that exciting.

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blog_authorship_997488

wow, haven't written for a while. but since no one is reading anyway, what does it matter??? i wonder if <PERSON> reads me stuff. <PERSON>, if you're reading this, you get a prize from me. anyway, 3 more weeks until winter break; i can't wait. last night went to an NU alum meeting in DC. i guess i'm gonna be interviewing high school kids applying to NU, how exciting! DC is so nice, such a cool town. i love it. the drive there was kinda scary, though, no light or nothing on balto-wash pkwy. no billboards, either, which i guess was the point. i wish baltimore is as nice and cool as DC. everyday i want a mazda RX-8 more and more! but i want to keep <PERSON>, too. if i win the lottery, i would save 35 grand of that and buy an RX-8 in the summer. i want either a yellow or blue one, 6-speed manual, loaded, and then i'll paint the wheels flat black, lower it, put in HID lights, and turbocharge it. i've rekindled my love for japanese cars... took an exam yesterday; molecular and cell crap. i hate exams, they just come and go and make me feel violated and insulted. now i'm waiting for the clock to strike 3 to meet w/ someone to work on my clinical conference stuff. i'm so bored; i definitely need more things and people going on in my life. i miss <PERSON> my old roommate and that old antique apartment in evanston. that was so much fun. i miss evanston a great deal, though i heard it's getting snowy and cold there, much worse than here. i really miss evanston a lot, the water, the stores, the eats, the beach (even though they're fake), the yacht club and all. i don't think i really want to go back there and live, though. i miss my time there, but it wouldn't be the same if i went back there and lived and worked there now; it'd be like going back to an empty house that you grew up in. think i'll visit chicago in spring break... i want an RX-8...

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309446, 250179, 26648, 171128, 26678 ]

blog_authorship_997488

chef <PERSON> continues to experiment with the dangeroulsy unknown. tonight i tried to make this white cheese sauce for my penne pasta. i put tunafish, milk, margarine, and spicy monterey jack cheese in the frying pan, and the result looked kinda scary. imagine cereal but instead of raisin bran it's canned tuna and cheese. immediately a voice on my shoulder said to me 'cornstarch will save this!' so i borrowed some cornstarch from one of my roommates. and the result looked kinda scary. imagine grits but instead of the white whatever it was tunafish with peppered cheese. immediately a voice on my shoulder became silent. but it turned out better, much better, and now i'm eating it.

317,147

[ 317120, 317128 ]

10

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blog_authorship_997488

wednesday i went skiing for the first time, up at ski liberty in pennsylvania, w/ <PERSON> and his friend. it was SO much fun! i only skied down the bunny hills, 'cuz duh i can't ski. the first run down was pretty miserable. <PERSON> helped me down, although i fell so many times quite miserably, i felt pretty stupid. and this dumb kid laughed at me, too. i should've screamed his ass out or something...kids can be such asses. but after that first embarassing run it became much easier. it helped that there was a lot of snow and it was all really soft to fall on. it really was a lot of fun, i can't believe i've never gone skiing until now. it's not like i skied well, but i think i learned the bare basics pretty fast... it really wasn't that hard. like most other things, you have to approach it as if you already kinda knew how to do it, kinda like faking it with confidence. i need to go again real soon...

317,148

null

62

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230241, 255979, 128425, 126553, 231974, 219372 ]

blog_authorship_997488

oops, camaro's w/ 5.7l engine only came w/ 4-speed automatics today i say a very nearly perfect example of this camaro that i want. it's a 1985 iroc-z, yellow, w/ t-top. and it has only 25k ORIGINAL miles! looks so clean! wants to sell it for 12k, yeah right... it's very nice, though. i doubt any idiot will pay 12k for it, even though it's probably the cleanest camaro i've seen. so sweet. i love f-body cars. it's like hotwheels, but one that you can drive... when do i get mine?

317,149

[ 317118, 317129, 317128 ]

47

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blog_authorship_997488

i realized that i daydream a lot. it's fun. i was REALLY upset today that i had to come to school... today during the first lecture on neurotrophism, i got lost about half way and started daydreaming about my future car list, and wrote it down on my notebook, along with an IROC-Z logo. here it is: 1. 1987 chevy camaro IROC-Z, 5.7l, 5-speed, t-top, yellow 2. 1989 chevy corvette z51, 6-speed, competition yellow, black interior 3. 1993 mazda rx-7 r1, competition yellow 4. 1994 nissan 300zx twin turbo, 2 seater, t-top, yellow half of them are chevys, yeah. chevy used to make such cool cars. chevy thunder was the heartbeat of yesterday's america... nowadays they make mostly sad and boring cars and then during the second lecture on neurocytology ii, i daydreamed about the dvds that i want to buy. here they are: 1. breakfast club 2. <PERSON> day off 3. better off dead 4. goonies 5. back to the future 6. speed zone

317,150

null

47

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blog_authorship_997488

so all these memories prompted me to think back further. last thursday i got bored and sick of my boring life, so i went to blockbuster's and rented terminator 2, a very exciting movie. (after watching it my life was still pretty not exciting) that was a 90s movie. i rarely watch 90s movies nowadays, 'cuz they're not old enough yet to be classics; in a few years. it reminds me of the time when i was growing up and all that. terminator 2 was such a cool movie. i don't know how they're going to top a shape-shifting terminator in the new one. oh ok i get it, with a woman terminator. ... it was a very nostalgic movie, really. it was all what the 90s looked like, the music, the way movies looked and felt, the streets of california, the cars, the way people looked, and all that. makes me so nostalgic, both of the time and home. i think i'm more of a 90's child than 80's child (and definitely a californian trapped on the east coast), and now i miss the 80s and 90s a lot. here i list some of the very coolest things that went on when i was growing up then: 1. atari and nintendo, sega genesis, later on, super nintendo! 2. nissan 300zx, toyota mr2, camaro iroc-z, firebird, c4 corvette, <PERSON>, prelude, and BA's van 3. ghostbusters, batman, ninja turtles, <PERSON>, and mask 4. <PERSON>, total recall, terminator, twins, kindergarten cop 5. <PERSON> shrunk the kids, back to the future, goonies! 6. <PERSON> (!), <PERSON>, <PERSON>, <PERSON> 7. the a-team, knight rider, <PERSON>, <PERSON>, magnum pi 8. america's funniest home videos, <PERSON>, who's the boss, wonder years, growing pains (this goes on and on) 9. sleep over with my cousins 10. renting friday the 13th movies, watching w/ my cousins, our eyes half-closed through most it 11. domino's pizza, because it's what ninja turtles ate 12. lego (this is before they put all to funny faces on lego figures) 13. sesame street 14. movies with <PERSON> and <PERSON> (favorite: speed zone) 15. the simpsons, wings, home improvement, saved by the bell, unsolved mysteries 16. reebok pump 17. microwave oven, the magic food box! 18. crystal pepsi (right now!) ... wow this list goes on and on. there sure are a lot to be missed, but now lost forever... like those old lego catalogs, atari games, my old pump shoes, bottles of crystal pepsi, and time spend playing with my cousins and friends. (incidentally i still have my original nintendo, the realy boxy one, stashed way in my garage somewhere) one thing i can salvage: cars. hmm... i'm gonna start buying up them used sports cars from then that were real cool and real expensive, now they're cheap. being grown up isn't half as much fun as growing up

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blog_authorship_997488

<PERSON>, suddenly i feel so old. <PERSON> just got engaged, and someone else i knew already got married. and then i think about it, i'm 23 years old! what makes it weird is that i still feel like how i felt many many years ago. 16 feels like just then, but it's like 7 years ago?! how weird. 7 years ago, i was in high school back home in california. my neighborhood had peacocks prancing all over the streets, like that? our house had a big heavy wooden gate next to the garage which leads to where the garbage cans were along with other assorted junks and a tool shed. i used to be scared of getting locked in the tool shed 'cuz it's hot and had spiders in it. in front of the garage is a very steep driveway, 'cuz our house sat a bit higher from the street on the hugo reid side. it was a corner house. the other side actually sat lower. the neighborhood was hilly. when i was 16 i took my driving lesson. my instructor was this hispanic dude named <PERSON> who showed up in a crappy corolla with two sets of pedals. 'there's another guy at your high school living around here taking my lesson, name's <PERSON>,' <PERSON> said. '<PERSON>? what a stupid name,' i said. it was a pretty funny name. at my 3rd and last lesson he pointed to a woman when we drove down colorado bulevard and said she was a prostitute. as i slowed down and pulled over (as instructed by <PERSON>), he suddenly told me to keep driving and not stop. 'it's an undercover cop,' <PERSON> said. 'oh yeah? how'd you know?' i asked. ''cuz i've got cops in the family.' hmm, right. when i was 16 and a half i brave-heartedly made an appointment at the pasadena dmv on rosemead blvd for a road test. twice the stupid dmv testers failed me, but i nailed them down on my 3rd and last attempt and got my driver's license. my only regrets are that i acted too nicely to those dmv bureaucrat narcs and i gave a dumb smile when i took my picture. that picture haunts me for many years. that was the year 1995. or was it 96?

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blog_authorship_997488

holy cow. the blizzard of 2003 is the most snow i have ever seen in my life! hopefully will ever, too. the flurry started saturday night, or was if friday night? quite many days ago anyway. needless to say, my sex class over valentine's weekend was canceled! yes! by sunday morning, it had piled up and over connie parked down the street, and there was no way nothing was gonna be open. church was, of course canceled. i actually wasn't gonna go anyway; was gonna go to national cathedral, kinda. anyway, 26.8 inches by yesterday afternoon! some places near balto got as many as 40 inches! i wish i wish it'll keep snowing, snow out the rest of the week! snowed so much feels like apocalypse. so much fun unfortunately, the sun has come out just now. rats. meaning snow's gonna start to melt. rats. rats ratz. if i were living in the 'burbs and had friends, i'd go out and go crazy in the snow

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blog_authorship_997488

i used to like birds. they're kinda nice, all colorful and flying and all. but now i HATE birds!!! disgusting animals. i'm so mad at birds. today after icp i walked to my truck to get my thomas guide out of it, and to my horror <PERSON>'s hood is covered with bird poop. it was just like last time, but last time i parked on the other side of the same street. it's as if the friggin' birds decided to make a toilet out of <PERSON>. i wish i can take a gun and shoot them all down...

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blog_authorship_997488

today after church everyone went to have lunch at a 4th year <PERSON>'s house nearby. she made us vegetarian chili; it was so good. i think i'll look up some chili recipes. we stayed there for a while and chatted until around 3. it was really fun. <PERSON>, <PERSON>, <PERSON>, <PERSON>, and <PERSON> were there. <PERSON>'s roommate was in peace corps in mangolia, and she told us some stuff about it. peace corps sounds really cool, and i'm kinda interested. afterwards <PERSON> and i went to the goodwill store and i bought a $20 tv. i looked on the back, and it said it was manufactured october 1983. sweet. it had really good reception on fox when it was in the store, and that's the most important thing, 'cuz fox has all the best shows. but when i brought it home up to my penthouse on the 3rd floor, it didn't get as good a reception on fox =( but i guess at least it has the sound, and that's half of it. i also got goya mexican rice and 2 boxes of corn bread mix (25 cents a box!). i miss LA so much...

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227869, 160053, 31753, 236860, 245360, 154265 ]

blog_authorship_997488

hmph... i couldn't think of anything to write. blogs are stupid. so i'll describe my dream house. my dream house is actually not a house, but more of a loft/garage. it'd be kinda like a small office/warehouse building in a nice industrial park kind of town, like parts of irvine. it'd be about 1.5 stories tall, with the square footage of a medium-sized house. there'd be, of course, a decent sized parking area and grass around the house, 'cuz it'd originally be an office buidling. the inside would be real phat. i'd take out all the walls save all the weight bearing structures, and convert the inside into a giant garage/showroom/workshop space. it'd have to be big enough for cars to drive around in. there'd be a reeling garage door at the side not facing the street. i'd install a basic lift, a nice tool bench at one end of the house, and all the stuff for a basic garage so i can work on my car inside. at the other end would be the living area. the kitchen, dining room, living room, a small library/den/lounge, and all that are all exposed and opened up to the rest of the house/garage. there'd be a loft for my bedroom, probably over the living area instead of the cars, with a cool staircase up it. there'd be a few skylights, too. basically, take your typical lab-like track race shop, blow it up to the size of a house, add all the stuff one needs to live in, and there it is. i figure a set up like this wouldn't cost more than a regular house. it'd just be highly unusual. it'd be really avant garde, too. one day... and here's the list dream garage cars: -rx-8 (fe17) -85-92 camaro (especially iroc-z) -fd3s rx-7 -90-94 300zx tt (z32) -84-89 corvette coupe (c4) -93-02 camaro (96 on, ss) -94-95 mr2 turbo -82-89 firebird trans am -57 nomad -63-67 corvette sting ray (c2) -corvette zr1 (c4) -a real souped up atenza -03 svt cobra convertible -69-70 shelby gt500 -2nd gen crx -3rd and 4th gen prelude -gmc typhoon -series I jag e-type -saleen s351 speedster -series II elise -nsx -r34 skyline gt-r v-spec II -fiero -f355 gts -65 malibu ss z16 (rare!) -64-69 gto -k5 blazer/original gmc jimmy -jeep wagoneer -03 mustang gt convertible geez, that's a long list. but it's only a dream list. and most of it would be used cars, some of them very used. that's what my place will be for. one day...

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blog_authorship_997488

last night i decided to rent a video. warehouse doesn't have 99-cent rentals anymore, that's really annoying. i didn't really know what i wanted to see, so i lingered at the video store for a while. it came down to <PERSON> and commander, <PERSON>, <PERSON> and <PERSON>, or the last <PERSON>. i really wanted to get more than one, but i got only the last emperor. i had seen it w/ my parents when it first came out. i was like eight at the time, and i remember watching the first scene and waking up when the movie's over. anyhoo, the dvd is three and a half hours long! but it really was very good. it's incredible. i hope it's pretty accurate, i think it is. chinese history is so fascinating, and so sad. the story was really intriguing, but it was soooo sad. but now i want to go to china that much more. i'm really into my roots thing now. <PERSON>, that's the last emperor's name, actually wrote an autobiography. i want to read that. and his tutor, this scottish guy, also wrote a book about it, and i want to read that, too. the movie is filled with so many poignant moments, one of them is the depiction of china after <PERSON> was released from the communist prison, when he went out and saw the people and all that. people were so poor, and there was this parade that was just ridiculous. communism really screwed over the chinese people. it's so sad. anyway, i watched the whole thing last night and didn't doze off this time. this is something that i wouldn't've been able to appreciate when i was younger

317,157

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blog_authorship_997488

watched the bourne supremacy yesterday at pacific hasting's 60-foot screen. i was at the library for a while, just couldn't study, was in a real real bad mood, and felt like crap, so decided to go and escape myself. half way into the movie i felt sick to my stomach. it was like someone hand-held the camera thruout the whole movie, it was ridiculous. i once mounted a camcorder to my r/c truck and produced the same nauseating effect. when i came out, i felt like i could throw up

317,158

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blog_authorship_997488

i've come back to blogs fire truck. my life sucks at this moment. ever wish you were somebody else? i don't think i wish that. i just wish people in my life now were better people, and good people in my life then whom i loved had never left. life can be such a bitch. when you're dealt a rotten card and it's not a game, words cannot describe how much that sucks. harmony is a wonderful thing that i always took for granted, though come to think of it, there hasn't really been too much harmony in my life since mom died. now i feel even worse, 'cuz i know there are countless people out there who have it worse than me. more than ever, i wish my life was a movie...'cuz then something ridiculous can happen but more than likely there'll be some kind of decent happy ending. i'm experiencing a mid-20's crisis right now. somebody rescue me

317,159

null

113

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well lets see tonight theres a show but i dont think im going cuz <PERSON> an idiot and my dad already left the house so now im stuck here bored with the whole house to myself trashed my own house party cuz nobody came yea riiiight anyway today i think i had a bad day a) cuz im not going out tonight i dont think and b) <PERSON> dumb and pissed me off cuz hes stupid and does stupid shit but yea o well i dont even care its ok anyway yea im soo fuckin bored and theres nothing to do i ordered my shirts today man that was difficult i got an adicts shirt, the unseen, dropkick murphys, and the cheer up emo kid one yay i no im so happy yea im on the phone with <PERSON> woo hoo im eating tuna fish...yay ok thats enough lovew ya babe

317,160

[ 317320, 317219 ]

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273096, 181425, 152503, 198030 ]

blog_authorship_998237

yea wow im REALLY bored and theres notihng to do and since i have no friends i have no one to talk to u i have to call <PERSON> tonight cuz i need to talk to her about a problem im having about liking a certain someone cuz im dumb and it gets me mad! ahh i hate myself for it anyway moving on todays thanksgiving YAY not really it was dumb but i went skiing which was sooo much fun! i love it so much and that was like the first time in a year but i got up the first time so i was cool yea wel thats my day stupid <PERSON> isnt online cuz hes dumb and got grounded <PERSON> hes so stupid its ok tho well thats is love ya guys bye

317,161

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122

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well im in photo and i just got done doing my powerpoint man o man its cute ha last night i like didnt talk to <PERSON> at all it was kinda weird he had to go out to eat or something and it was like 1030 and i didnt feel like sitting online and waiting for him anymore so i signef off and went to sleep ha it was weird! yea well today is the last day of school yea off for a whole week exciting not really im not gonna do anything but sit on my ass and sleep ha my new goal is to get a 6 pack well actually thats been my goal for a long time but i never really actually tired so now im gonna try for real the first stage is called purifiy the body yea and i can do it if i really try and im actually going to so there yea well i dunno i talked to <PERSON> alot last night it was kinda odd but o well ha hes so hot hahah yea but i dunno anyway i think im gonna stop now cuz i have to study for bio next block alright love ya babe

317,162

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well i dunno im bored nothing to do nothing at all i worked out yea im cool im talking to <PERSON> wow im even cooler well today was BORING nothing exciting at all so yea i dunno im listening to MADCAP woo hoo they remind me of <PERSON> ha yea but anyway i dunno in about 10 minutes im gonna go take a shower and do some studying i have a bio test and a spanish one boo to that i wonder when the next show is hmm i dunno? yea but anyway ok yea

317,163

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213

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blog_authorship_998237

'So Many Ways' There must be so many ways to say goodbye I'm breaking up again But just when I thought I could hear her voice It echoes in my head I'm sorry if I say the wrong things I'm sorry if you feel that I don't want you anymore But how can I believe any words that she says to me When everything comes out wrong She's built and torn down anyone that gets close to her heart To her heart There must be so many ways to say goodbye But I can't seem to think of one this time So many ways to say goodbye Even if she isn't mine I'm still losing my mind She's calling me again But I was so convinced I'd never hear her voice She says hello How can you ever breathe without me Cause I can see this happening all over again I think I want it to How can I believe any words that she says to me When everything comes out wrong She's built and torn down anyone that gets close to her heart There must be so many ways to say goodbye But I can't seem to think of one this time There must be so many ways to say goodbye Even if she isn't mine I'm still losing my mind She's built and torn down anyone She's built and torn down anyone that comes close to her heart To her heart There must be so many ways to say goodbye But I can't seem to think of one this time So many ways to say goodbye Even if she isn't mine I'm still losing my mind

317,164

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250

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208153, 206977 ]

blog_authorship_998237

the grandparents left and <PERSON> is home YAY! im so happy but yea nothing realyl exciting me and <PERSON> had a heart to heart pretty funny we talked about mom and school and volleyball and stuff yea i think theres a show tonight but i dont wanna go im not in the mood to do anything <PERSON> called my phone but im a rebel and didnt answer it cuz i was talking to my daddy like 1 month til christmas im so excitied i have to call <PERSON> tonight cuz i havent talked to her in awhile and <PERSON> needs me to talk to her about some stuff yes but o well im pretty bored i was gonna go work out but i started and then <PERSON> came home and now my legs hurt so i was like no dont feel like it ut i dunno my tummy hurts i need some midol hmm i forgot where i put it and i need to clean my room and i want to call <PERSON> hmm i wonder if i have any homework? maybe i think i might go do that and then call <PERSON> and clean my room ok sounds good

317,165

[ 317276 ]

122

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well i just got back it was fun not that bad we called <PERSON> but nothing was going on so we chilled at the mall and i got my picture taken with <PERSON> hehehe and i was walkin around askin people 'ill play u a song for a 1$' hahaha it was funny and then we went to the beach and met this guy named <PERSON> haha he was from wisconsin haha yea it was pretty cool it wasnt that fun but it was better then stayin home ya no? but o well i have to take a shower so peace

317,166

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well im goin out tonight i didnt feel like it but then i decided hey what else am i going to do on this lovely saturday night? so i decided i would go to the rather boring skatepark and sit around as i did the night before funny how things turn out isnt it? well i am doubtful that i will actually have any real fun tonight maybe i will hey u never know <PERSON> should be here with her little friend <PERSON> hmm <PERSON> i have never met this girl before in my life interesting but yea im sure it will be better then i expect but hey o well at least im not sitting at home with my lonesome self well guys i must depart i love u all very much and hope to see u soon hahaha thats funny yea well merry christmas and to all a goodnight

317,167

null

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blog_authorship_998237

fuck im having such a bad day i had usa south try outs today fuck that yea well i made the team i guess i dunno there making a naples team but its like all the fucking rejects that have never played before so im like ok this is nice i mean fucking freshman r playing for <PERSON> and im stuck on the damn naples team hmm maybe i am that bad i dunno? but it doesnt make any sense i mean i made 14As last year and made JV this year yet theres people that played 14Cs and didnt even make the freshman team that r playing on the better team does that make sense but u no what i dont think i even care i just feel like shit cuz i fuckin worked my ass off for like 2 years and now this is like a kick in the face but whatever i mean i made a team and its in naples so i can play but still im not happy and to top it all off i get my damn period when i get home and now i feel all fat and worthless fuck i hate my life the grandparents r pissing me off and all i wanna do is go in my room and cry o wait i already am fuck i feel like nobody cares about me see look this is what happens i get down on myself for something dumb and then i get even more upset and start beating <PERSON> up over something even dumber fuck im really stupid i dunno i just need to talk to someone but nope i dont think i have anyone i could actually talk to without feeling stupid but i dunno i dont no whats wrong with me but now im sitting here ready to kill someone in tears over something dumb but its really pissing me off but i dunno o well im suppose to go by <PERSON> house tonight and i dont no <PERSON> number and i need to call her damn it and <PERSON> not on and i need to talk to him to but o well i think im gonna go and curl up on my bed and cry for a good hour then im gonna take a shower and go to sleep that sounds nice yea

317,168

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blog_authorship_998237

yea on the phone with <PERSON> i no haha we arent talking about anything he wants me to talk to <PERSON> but i wont hahah yea cuz im a rebel like that haha yea ahh hes pissing me off he always makes me feel so stupid haha yea o well tho he just completly lowers my self esteem straight to the ground o well im gonna go love ya babe

317,169

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well its 233 and im bored i need to clean my room and work out today i have til 4 to work out so in like 5 minutes ill get up and clean my room and fold my laundry and then go running and go work out yea woo hoo sounds like a plan man well today my day was super duper boring nothing exciting happened except <PERSON> said that i had phone sex with <PERSON> last night and her and that <PERSON> kid were making fun of me not nice not nice at all hahaha <PERSON> just walked in here stood in the doorway for about 5 minutes and turned around and went back into his room wow thats funny but yea anyway im gonna go now i love ya <PERSON>

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blog_authorship_998237

well im sitting in the libary not the one at school the one they built buy <PERSON> house this thing is HUGE i got like lost but hey o well yea well i tried to find a book but i gave up on that and then i found the computers so i was like yay! but this keyboard sucks butt anyway yea i saw that kid that looks like <PERSON> omg its unbelieveable how much he looks like him except he doesnt have red hair other then that they could be twins its kinda scary ha what if his name is <PERSON> 2 wow that would be nuts hahah yea anyway im so bored its only 235 another hour till i get to go home damn it i wanna go home now i cant wait till i get a car so i can go home right away yay! but yea anyways this computer realyl sucks yea yea yea ha my day was so boring nothing exciting happened nothing at all but yea i have a test tomorrow in history woo hoo yea im so not gonna study cuz im a rebel like that hahahah right on yea well i dunno this is so dumb so i think im gonna stop now ok ok well I LOVE YA BABE!!!!!!

317,171

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138

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blog_authorship_998237

i dunno? yea im in photo woo hoo i had to do my biology project and mr <PERSON> helped me out ha what a nice guy yea anyways boo im so bored i still have to do some of my biology but its not due till the end of the day yea well <PERSON> left and im stuck with the grandparents for the week and club tryouts r on saturday yea <PERSON> is driving me and friday im going to the skatepark and sunday theres a show haha i saw <PERSON> today YAY! but yea i dunno i HAVE to call <PERSON> tonight i havent talked to her in like forever will that was the bell i have to go love ya babe bye

317,172

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234

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blog_authorship_998237

damn it im so bored! theres nothing to do im bored!!!!!!!!!!!! blah blah blah well i have this damn biology project i have to do but i dont feel like doin it yet o well i dunno mother is here kinda boring nothing exciting the father is gone for the weekend and the grandparents r here YAY! actually no nothing to YAY! about well u no what im gonna stop writing in this dumb thing cuz i dont like it so yea GOODBYE

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well i just got home hahaha today was boring haha in biology that damn kid was talking about my butt <PERSON> and he was saying how hot i look and the hott one that sits behind me turns around and is like yea u r hott im like shut up and then they say that there not joking so i was like ah booo haha yea thats soo funny <PERSON> and <PERSON> are never used in the same sentence hahaha o well anyway im bored and i have to work out today ah i had a test today in spanish holy shit i failed it yea i did unless im just really lucky and get a C hey i dont care ill find out tomorrow hehe i have a cute outfit on right now....my short jean skirt with a black shirt with a pink one underneath hehe its cute yea so i dunno im gonna lay in bed and watch some tv haha cuz im a bum oooooo yea im NOT doing softball anymore ha i just dont feel like doing it anymore and ooo yea ok well im out peace holla love ya babe

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well im in photo <PERSON> and im bored i was printing this picture but got frustrated and gave up haha yea and now the bell is gonna ring in likee 4 minutes ha o well i have <PERSON> next i think we are doing a lab at least i hope so yea well last night i was on the phone with <PERSON> yea he was pissing me off i dunno y tho? o well hes not anymore it lasted like a whole 2 minutes ha yea hes suppose to write out are life story HAHAHAHA its soo funny i hope he didnt forget that would be dumb of him yea but ha i cant wait to read it hahah YAY! but i duno 1 month and 11 days till christmas i cant wait and if stupid <PERSON> is gonna be gone and i wont be able to see him im gonna cry! really that would suck some major balls but i duno o well the bell is gonna ring so im gonna go peace out holla love ya babe

317,175

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124

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well its like 603 and i just got done working out o i no im just so hott yea but i dunno im sorts bored and im talkin to <PERSON> hes complaining how he got kicked in the leg hahaha what a girl <PERSON> hahahah anyway today was so boring o well yea well thats really it i have way to much homework tonight and a spanish test tomorrow so ill write in this thingy later love ya babe

317,176

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well its like 1000 and im in photo i no im such a rebel hahaha not reallly but i can pretend i have a bio test next block and i sorta studied not really tho o well i should get at least a C ha i went to guidence today and fixed my schedule i no im so cool but i dunno last night i talk to <PERSON> on the phone i really dont remeber what we talked about....nothing special i dont think? i duno thats weird i think i have altimers hahaha sure right ha im on 2 computers right now im such a rebel haha not really man o man im so bored AH! there listening to ghetto rapness wow ugly i cant stand that crap yea thats what its called CRAP! hahah wow i think softball is today AHHHH omg i dont like....cant say but she smells hahahaha hehehehe yea but i duno? im really really bored but yea anyway haha i have a green shirt on ooooh yea i remember what we talked about haha he said i should wear a green shirt and show some irish pride ha to bad im not irish well i might be i really dont no haha yea and do i care NO NO NO NO yea well 20 more minutes tell <PERSON> i think im gonna try and get some studying in lets see if that works well im out PEACE holla! love ya babe

317,177

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blog_authorship_998237

u no im such a loser damn it i attempted to study for bio but as u can see i got bored ha yea did u no 78% of the atmosphere is made up of nitrogen neato huh? well u no this is soo dumb im so bored another whole hour till <PERSON> comes back damn it hahaha this is so dumb anyway yea man im bored cant u tell? hahaha wow i have no life hahaha im so bored wow how many times have i said that wow this is so gay i wrote in this stupid thing like 100 times and i started it like an hour ago wow but u no this is so much easier then writing in my book haha but at least my book is prettier i mean i have fruit on this thing and i dont even think that green thing is a fruit then hmm what is it? ha i dunno? my tummy hurts and i wanna talk to <PERSON> haha i love my random thoughts i have ill be like talking about one thing and then all of a sudden ill write some random thing down like...bananas r yellow bam there i go agian hahaha anyway u no who is really hott tony haha yea he is but u no what i

317,178

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blog_authorship_998237

haha well its been like 2 minutes since i last wrote in this damn thing yea i have nothing better to do but i have decided alot in the past 20 minutes A) im fat B) my family doesnt like me and would disown me if they had the chance C) nobody loves me anymore D) i have no friends hahaha man im a weirdo but u no its OOOOOOOK i can be a loner haha cuz i dont love anyone cuz love is for girls and girls are disgusting im a loner a wide eyed loner on a space trip to mars but on the way there i caught cornflakes disease HAHAHAHA YAY! hahaha <PERSON> UR MY HERO!!!!!! ok anyway ew i think <PERSON> is a lesbian shes always talking about them and stuff eww what if shes all into me and on day she will hit on me and ill get scared ew hahaha well at least i can get a girl HAHAHA <PERSON> <PERSON> omg i heart <PERSON> ahahahhaahahhahahahahaah yea i do what what what dont call me a loser hahahaha yea well thats enought im out PEACE hollA

317,179

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well u no its like 729 and i have no life so im sitting at home nothing exciting going on im really bored i was talking to <PERSON> but no he left me boo ha i dont care anyway 1 month and 13 days till christmas im soooooo excitied! u have no idea yea mother got my tickets already im so happy YAY! well today school sucked some butt nothign exciting going on ahh softball was today but i dont think i wanna do it anymore plus im lazy well i think thats it i have to study for biology i have a damn test tomorrow boo to that and maybe ill get some situps in tonight who knows? i think im gonna give my good old buddy <PERSON> a call or maybe <PERSON>? <PERSON> wins ok well i love ya babe <PERSON>

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blog_authorship_998237

well yea i have been hanging out wityh the cross guys for the past 2 days there fun i think we are goin out with them <PERSON> theres something wrong with <PERSON> she has some type of mental imbalance of some sort in her head i dont no shes like all depressed suicidal i dont no tho o well anywho i dont think i can go out if <PERSON> cant pick me up i think i should talk to her oo well goodnight guys bye

317,181

[ 317276 ]

228

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well chicago fuckin sucks i dont think i want to come back here anymore i mean i look forward to this this is like what i live for and right now it sucks and i fuckin hate it i mean if i could i would get on a plane right now and leave but the only reason y im not is cuz <PERSON> here and im even getting bored with that i havent gone out since saturday and nobody even bothers to call i mean it seem slike nobody wants me around i mean <PERSON> ditched monday and yesterday and i have a feeling its gonna happen <PERSON> today she says shes gonna call and pick me up but she goes out with <PERSON> instead and it fuckin sucks and it seems like the only time <PERSON> calls is when she has a problems that she needs me to fix and i fuckin hate it like i would so go home right now cuz thats how bad i feel everytime i come here i cause everyone else problems and i dont think its worth it anymore i just wanan go away and never come back really im serious everywhere i go it seems like nothing is good i fuckin hate mylife and right now i wish i didnt have one i come here to see people and they fuckin shit all over me and i wish i could actually say something and tell people how i feel but i cant so u no when <PERSON> and <PERSON> actually call and we actually go out i will put a big smile on my face and act as if NOTHING is wrong and they will never no cuz thats the way i am i dont want to cuz problems but it seems i always do or people always blame them on me cuz theres no one else so today im probably gonna sit at home cuz my so called 'friends' are not gonna call and forget about me so i might as well sit here and die cuz <PERSON> gonna no anyway so whats the difference if i live or die because right now it seems like nobody cares so i guess i might as well die today everyone comes to me when there life is so bad and so horrible and they dont even seem to wonder how bad mine can get and then shit on me to make it worse u no fuck that im fuckin done im done with everything im giving up yes im a quitter <PERSON> is giving up on life u no theres gonna be people tthat r gonna read this and be like o look shes crying out for attention shes feeling sorry for herself but u guys have no fuckin idea cuz u dont ask everyone thinks im so fuckin happy all the time and im not i fuckin hate life and i want to end it

317,182

[ 317320, 317219, 317200, 317220 ]

113

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blog_authorship_998237

man o man yesterday was <PERSON> <PERSON> was being fuckin stupid and ditched me and <PERSON> and then i had to fix a fight between <PERSON> and <PERSON> yea it was nuts anywho i think <PERSON> and <PERSON> r still mad at me and <PERSON> but u no what i DONT care im at keeleys riiight now so i dunno hahaha i saw <PERSON> yesterday and i get to see him on thursday WOOO HOOO well thats it...MERRY CHRISTMAS

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blog_authorship_998237

woooooo hooooo im in chicago guys!! yay for me anywho last night i went to ginas had some fun hahaha it was exciting well we had to leave ginas at 915 so everyone left when she said leave no problem well <PERSON> went nutso for NO reason at all i mean everyone helped clean they were all out of the house and everything and we all were gonna come back here well she became mega bitch and was yelling for no reason at all shes all like i dont wanna go to teddies no im not leaving leave me alone blah blah blah so her and <PERSON> were screaming at each other and she locked herself in the bathroom well i tired talking to her didnt work so she made me <PERSON> and <PERSON> leave and wouldnt let us back in so i had to come home and now she wont talk to me hmmmm? make sense dont think so she told us to leave so we did and now shes made cuz we did leave her? riiiiiight anywho yea well <PERSON> is gonna come over at 2 woo hoo im excited its gonna be fun i think? hahah me and <PERSON> are gonna go see the lights with my mom <PERSON> and my brothers hahah cute right? anywho i dont no im super bored and REALLY tired im a bit hung over but hey its alll good yea i should be sleeping but NOOO damn westin woke me up so yea i dunno i think ill sit here and curl up on the couch with my teddybear woo hoo sounds good well im out peace holla

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well im soo excited im leaving for chicago in 6ish hours ooo yea its gonna be fun but i dunno i had finals today did that suck o yea it did anywho my dad is REALLY pissing me off <PERSON> im so glad i can get away for awhile 16 days of whole heartedly excitment oo yea well i haev to go finsh packing and whatknot adios amigos

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blog_authorship_998237

hahahahahaha im in photo cuz im cool its the last day awwwwwwwwwww tear! ha 4 more days till chicago OMG woo hoo im in excited anyway i ate cake today it was good i made im cool o yea haha i look cute i have a beanie on ooo yea im hot u all no it anyway umm thats all i have to say so im out peace holla

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157562, 258515, 218675, 198257 ]

blog_authorship_998237

im listeing to <PERSON> hahah thats right i said <PERSON> ok so yea im in a good mood but <PERSON> is ruining it o well its ok surprise surprise i dont get i mean im in love with him but hes soooo mean even tho hes joking half the time i still i hate it o well its getting me mad to the point where i dont wanna talk to him anymore when he gets like that i mean even tho hes kidding i dont care its still mean and i dont like mean people so whatever i dunno anyway i baked a cake today and i saw <PERSON> twice and i saw <PERSON> and <PERSON> yea <PERSON> i took my picture with <PERSON> woo hoo i made <PERSON> a xmas present and i made <PERSON> another one to OMG i have finals tomorrow spanish and photo i soo HAVE to study like right now anyway OMG being a girl fucking sucks 5 days before i leave for chicago and my 'cycle' decides it will like to appear today its like MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS damn its so dumb it came twice last month and now its coming agian i hate it anyway it should be over in like 4 days soooo yea i dunno ur so vain u probably think this song is about u haha i dont get that i mean the song is about him right? hahaha its stupid anyway im gonna go study

317,187

null

124

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blog_authorship_998237

today was an OK day pretty boring i have fucking finals in 2 days and SOOO NOT ready but hey i dont care i saw <PERSON> today :( he was with <PERSON> and i wanted to cry actually no not at all i really didnt care i was in a good mood so fuck it yea well i have volleyball tonight at 6 and then i think im gonna call <PERSON> cuz tonight me and <PERSON> arent suppose to talk HAHAHA RIIIIIIGHT anyway im eating a cheeseburger and im all freaked out im gonna get tape worm haha well im outie

317,188

[ 317276 ]

55

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blog_authorship_998237

its almost 12 and i cant sleep i got off the phone with <PERSON> at like 1030 thinking YAY ill sleep alot tonight but noooo and i wanna call him back but im scared so i got <PERSON> to do it but i have to give him 5$ o well yea i really wanna talk to <PERSON> but hey o well im gonna try and sleep some more night night

317,189

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211

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blog_authorship_998237

yea im kinda upset today cuz i found out <PERSON> has a gf and u no i liked him alot and its kinda upseting but u no hey im used to it he was like the first guy i really seriously liked down here and it sucks but u no im ok i think? ill get over it u no y cuz me and <PERSON> have a bird and its a cute bird and i like our bird so yea im gonna stick with me and <PERSON> but im upset im not PISSED but im upset damn it that fuckin gets me mad fucker o well ill live im eating now so yea bye

317,190

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228

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181215, 152390, 179317, 287917, 190068, 250663, 121703, 306422, 192560, 152437, 228590, 181353, 171649, 281488, 53304, 264561, 161177 ]

blog_authorship_998237

no trust...all i got is lies...boring...alright....yea ha <PERSON> told me <PERSON> likes this girl <PERSON> woo hoo for me anyway dont care moving on in life so yea im sitting here listening to <PERSON> cuz im bored i wanna tlak to <PERSON> boo im sad anyway yeaAm I strung out, crazy, or not allowed to be the one who gets stupid over you lazy (lazy), laid back (laid back), maybe you're just on crack why am I the one who gets fucked up and confused? (go!) ha yea..... You couldn't wait for something new and yesterday I thought of you it left me to think as if I couldn't walk away it's too late, I fell through yea..... I've got HIM in my head at night when I go to bed and I know it sounds lame, but HES the GUY of my dreams And of course I'd do anything for HIM I'd search the moons of Endor I'd even walk naked through the deserts of Tatooine

317,191

null

142

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blog_authorship_998237

whooooa like whats goin on? haha im in photo cuz im just so cool like that i made some prints and now im bored so yea hahaha i saw <PERSON> today WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO o yea YAY! anyway...........I LIKE MY BOX, 6 WALLS, ALL WHITE, NO WINDOWS, GOOD CORNERS, PLEASE DONT OPEN THAT DOOR! HAHAHA im insane but u all no u love me anyway gonna go take some digital pictures cuz im #1 anyway hahah BYE BYE BYE EBYE

317,192

[ 317224, 317198 ]

179

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159659, 272395, 152256, 264556, 275803, 154861, 275807, 303024, 205536, 243231, 181363, 267590, 192178, 188303, 293061 ]

blog_authorship_998237

haha im at home <PERSON> is gonna give me a ride home like everyday now its great but yea anyway im so bored i have volleyball at 630? i think yea but alright anywat im excitied haha yea i havent played in a looong time yea only 13 more days till chicago i CANNOT wait ha i was in such a good mood today i dont even no y i really wanna talk to <PERSON> about what i dunno but i just wanna talk to him its weird o well im talking to <PERSON> now yea exciting i no im listening to my brothers oldies cd haha i no im a strange one anyway that was my day <PERSON>

317,193

[ 317276 ]

234

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blog_authorship_998237

haha yea im in the libary i have to stay here till 330 which is so NOT fun i hate it here its bad enough i have to be here at 720-210 but no i have to stay here like an extra hour boo to that anyway hmm what can i talk about haha i saw <PERSON> like 2 minutes ago he was makin fun of me cuz i dont have my damn adicts shirt yet boo yea anyway hmm haha yea last night when i got of the phone with <PERSON> i was still thinkin about what are 'relationship' would be called his whole idea of calling it 'friends with benifits' is a good one but not really i mean we made out like a whole what 3 times? but u no i was thinking about how weird it would be if i gave him head or something i mean could u imagine the akwardness its almost funny i dunno i was just thinking about it last night and i just pictured it happening and then us NEVER talking <PERSON> cuz thats probably what would happen i mean thats what happened with <PERSON> haha yea but <PERSON> was a one time never gonna happen agian thing haha he talked to me a couple of days ago and hes all like when r u coming back? maybe we could hook up <PERSON> and i could eat u out and im like ha no and hes like common please it would be soo much to me i really like u hahahahahhahahaha thats soo funny if he really wanted me to believe that he liked me he should of talked to me after i gave him head hahaha hes so dumb it makes me laugh im so weird when it comes to guys and shit it like doesnt make sense me and <PERSON> went out for what like 3 months?? and we made out like twice and then i get on <PERSON> for no reason give <PERSON> head for no reason at all and get on <PERSON> like 100 times i dont understand myself im so stupid but like i just think it would be like totally weird if everytime i saw <PERSON> we made it this whole sex fest haha things wouldnt be the same after but i dunno maybe i dont do alot with <PERSON> cuz i never see him but then again if i did see him like everyday i just cant picture doing anything i mean i can but omg the akwardness would be unbareable but u no o well we will see what happens hahaha wow see thats what i was thinking about all night haha im so weird u no im supre duper bored u have no idea i still have an hour and NOTHING to do i would go sit outside and do my spanish homework but it raining and i dont like doing homework in here its to uncomfortable haha yea ahhh my foots asleep yea u no what else i realized last night i dont think i like <PERSON> anymore i mean yea i do just not like OMG I LOOOOVE <PERSON> its dumb tho cuz he does NOT like me even tho <PERSON> saids he does he doesnt i mean i never see him and he barely talks to me so i dunno o well i guess ill just stop talking him for good and get over him but i dunno i kinda dont want to cuz i like him still its just that i dont no what to do i feel like an idiot talking to him but u no o well it would be nice if he told me he didnt like me so then i could be like ok getting over u NOW haha but o well its not gonna happen oooo well sucks for me anyway im so fucking bored i wanna go home but nooooooo damn it what else can i talk about....14 more days till chicago i CANNOT wait im so excitied u have NOOOO idea i need to call <PERSON> tonight yea thats what im gonna do ooo but wait i have this awards thingy tonight booo i dont think im gonna go o well who cares not going ill call <PERSON> instead hahaha my priorities r so great arent they anyway i think im gonna stop and go do something else cuz i have nothing else to tell u guys alright then BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE

317,194

null

41

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blog_authorship_998237

i have so much to write about and all these thoughts going through me head and no clue on how to write them all down im just so sick of all the shit my dad puts me through i dont do fucking anything to him and he treats me like im nothing its like he doesnt care he thinks im such a disappointment and i dont even no what i do wrong it hurts knowing ur dad doesnt care about and has no love for u at all he keeps pushing me away like he cant wait to get rid of me he keeps trying to make me 'independent' and i hate it im only 15 years old im not even old enough to drive or get a job let alone do things on my own i still need help learning things he still has 3 years until he can kick me out and never have to deal with me <PERSON> im not ready to leave on my own im scared and her not helping hes only making it worse i hate the feeling of being alone and thats what i feel right now i still need someone and im always going to and hes not there for me and its tearing me apart i have so much bottled up rage that i dont know what to do with i dont understand y he thinks im such a bad person i do every little fucking thing he tells me to do and i dont understand y he feels so negative towards me i dont get it im so sick of him putting me down and making me feel like shit every fuckinf day he puts me down i have all this emotion and hurt feeling boiling up inside and i just wanna kill someone one day im just gonna leave never come back ever <PERSON> i want to leave so bad but theres something holding me back i could so go live with my mom but thats a whole other story i dont want to get into i feel like i have to compete for my parents appreachiation its ridiculous but i no i just have to think about all the positive things theres people that have it so much more worse then i do im not homeless my father doesnt beat me im not getting sexually abused by some freak so i guess my life isnt that bad but u no sometimes i just think what it would be like if i was dead i mean all those problems people say i cause would be gone and im sure theres people that would be happy or wouldnt even notice but i just gotta stay positive i do have friends that care right? but it doesnt matter how people feel about me im gonna be out on my own sooner than later and its not gonna matter if my parents hated me or if everyone loved me im just not gonna let it get to me anymore and u no some people say i cause my own depression or im just craving attention but thats not it i have emotions and my feelings can be hurt just like everyone else and this is how i deal with them i might as well live my life up to MY expectations and make the best of it

317,195

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blog_authorship_998237

hey hey hey yea well today im starting a 'diet' its called '<PERSON> is gonna lose 10 pounds in 20 days' which is totally possible but i just gotta find some motivation to run cuz i HATE running anyway haha i dunno the grandparents are coming soon exciting huh? but yea i dunno anyway hahah i love <PERSON>s sooo NOT an asshole anymore haha i love him anyway hmm heres a song about how i feel today....'Stupid Kid' There are things that used to make me smile One of them was you for just a little while You left me for dead so far away I replaced you with fear and shame You'll be happy on the day I die There are things that used to make me laugh But now they're deeply buried in the past I left them there so far away Replaced my humor with my pain I'll be happy on the day it dies Remember when I said I love you Well forget it I take it back I was just a stupid kid back then I take back every word that I said There are things that used to make you cry One of them was me for just a little while Why is it that you had to say Goodbye in your special way You slashed the tires on my car

317,196

null

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blog_authorship_998237

hellllooo everyone!!! im in photo yea im so cool <PERSON> is french braiding my hair cuz im sooo sexy ooo yea not at all anyway today was boring well its boring so far nothing exciting i had a test in history yea i failed hahaha it was hard anyway yea i dunno tho im so bored and shes hurting my head OOOOOUCH! haha yea well i dunno im bored blah blah blah blah blah yea ok that good enough bye guys

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blog_authorship_998237

well yea i just got back from volleyball tryouts woow i dont wanna talk about that there were only 10 girls so im on the team unless they decide they wanna cut me but hey i dont care its dumb its like 1600$ and i have to sell like 35 ads haha riiight but i dunno anyway im REALLY bored and theres nothing to do nobody to talk to boo yea i dunno tho i have a history test that i should study frombut im gonna do it later maybe ill clean my room hmm MAYBE or maybe not haha yea not anyway i dunno this is so boring ah im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored now guys wasnt that some exciting stuff ooo yea! woo hoo wooo hooo wooo hooo haha ok gonna stop now

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well today was no fun no fun at all nothing exciting happened nothing at all boo its soo boring i talked to <PERSON> last night i no isnt that like so cool haha yea and i talked to <PERSON> 2 but hes been an asshole <PERSON> and its not cool o well what am i suppose to do i tell him hes being an asshole but nooo does he take me seriously no of course not but o well nothing i can do about it but yea only like 22 days? or something till i come in i cannot wait its gonna be soo much fun!! yup yup yup but yea my life is blah but i dunno i have volleyball tryout tonight ahh im scared actually no im not its gonna be dumb o well ha <PERSON> is trying out to so we are gonna own the team its gonna be GREAT! woo hoo cant wait but i dunno thats it but yea im gonna stop now

317,199

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blog_authorship_998237

u no what love fuckin sucks i fuckin hate it do u see what it does to me???? its nuts u no it sucks u no maybe im not in love with <PERSON> but i sure like him ALOT u it would be nice if i knew if he liked me or not so i wouldnt be all crazy and stupid and when he says 'what r u nuts <PERSON> of course i dont like u wow how dumb can u get!' then i can move on with my so called life and things could get back to normal and another thing love is sooo over rated i mean its dumb its stupid and i dont like it yea sure its nice and all but i dont really think i LOVE anyone wait yes i do i LOVE <PERSON> but thats a given u no now that i think abotu it i really dont LOVE <PERSON> i just like him ALOT and theres a BIG difference cuz i mean i dont even no <PERSON> that well and to say i realy really erally really love him i dunno i dont think i can say that i mean thats like illegal or something but i do no 2 things....i love <PERSON> no matter waht i mean even if he hates me for doing stupid stuff i will always love him i mean yea DUH who doesnt no that but u no me and <PERSON> are different its just weird ya no? but with <PERSON> i like him ALOT but <PERSON> only knows how long thats gonna last...ok yea its gonna last awhile unless he calls me an ulgy dirty slut whore then duh i wont like him anymore haha yea but i dunno life is so confusing i mean y cant life be nice and happy and nonconfusing u no what else i realized theres a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone cuz u no u could fall out of love haha yea its not so nifty yea but o well who cares im 15 what the hell do i no about life and love and whatknot if u asks me its a giant load of shit! LOVE=SHIT hahah yea!

317,200

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blog_authorship_998237

i told you right from the start. a knife up to your throat for one put through my heart. couldn't hold on and this i should've known. thinking back as i walk the night alone. i told you that my love was true. i asked you to walk away if you don't feel like i do. you whispered that you would be mine always. i felt myself slipping away. i love you forever, 'til death do us part. night gives no rest and i cannot sleep. when i can i see your face, it's tattooed on my dreams. purple heart pumps sorrow through my veins. i awaken, i'm calling out your name. i often think back to that night... the moment when i found out that our love was a lie. felt like i would die, i couldn't stand the pain. and there's nothing left except one thing, i've gotta see you again. i love you forever, 'til death do us part. forever is over, forever is over. it's over, it's over, it ended on that night... that i took your fucking life.

317,201

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blog_authorship_998237

OMG! ha today was boring yet very exciting at the same time actually no wait that doesnt make any sense <PERSON> well i dont make sense haha yea thats right well <PERSON> is my savior i love her and i love <PERSON> and i love someone else hahah yes wow im just full of love yea im so hot o yea thats it tomorrow is volleyball tryouts ahh im scared o well who cares anyway i HAVE to work out today i didnt yesterday or the day before icky i feel fat o well yea but i have to stop writing now cuz im in the library and the nazi librarians well kill me ok so love ya babe!

317,202

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blog_authorship_998237

ok well i HAD a tournament tomorrow but i cant go because my father wont pay for it so i cant go anymore unless he pays tonight and he wont so i guess im not going and does he care no no no hes to busy to care so u no o fuckin well i hate everyone really i do i dont wanna talk to <PERSON> cuz hes not making things better at all hes proably to busy with something to talk to me just like everyone else i no everyone i no is always to busy to tlak to me to busy for me always to damn busy with something else so im all alone now i think im gonna go sit in my room and die

317,203

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13

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blog_authorship_998237

ok well nothing new is going on umm i talked my way into getting the phone till 11 thats like the best thing that has happened umm that slike it? im talking to <PERSON> well not really hes busy with his damn site ha its SOOO annoying it drives me nuts but what am i suppose to do? o well hahaha i just burped that was nuts anyway im bored i have a game in tampa this weekend should be interesting and on friday i tink im going to the fair dont no tho well im out peace

317,204

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blog_authorship_998237

boo im bored its the superbowl and <PERSON> is winning therefore i am winning a dollar cuz i bet my brother they would win so IM WINNING GOOOOO ME!!! yea well to tell u the truth i HATE football well thats it last night i went to the show it was fun well before we actually went inside it was fun but then it sucked the bands were scary and horrible and i didnt like it ooo yea the kid that reminds me of <PERSON>s name isnt <PERSON> its <PERSON>! i no its horrible cuz every guy i have ever known named <PERSON> was an asshole at some point but yea hes a junior and umm yea thats like it he had an ugly shirt on last night her looked like a bumble bee haha really he did o well i dont care enough about <PERSON> well yea thats it im out peace

317,205

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blog_authorship_998237

i cant use the phone or the computer which sucks but guess what im doing im using the computer o yea im a badass my father thinks im using it for something else but im not on aol and for some reason i cant check my mail i think my dad like changed my password or something or maybe its this damn computer cuz i dont no how to work it my mother just called me and bitched at me for NOTHING it pisses me off my dad bitched at me 2 minutes before that 2 and i didnt do anything i love it how they treat me like im such a bad person and they treat my brother like gold its unbelieveable o well i dont care im gonna leave and runaway soon or just die i havent picked which one yet well love u guys bye

317,206

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blog_authorship_998237

im so pissed off today i hate the way my dad and brother always find a away to make me feel like shit its like they want me to kill myself i dont understand it everytime i open my mouth im told to shut up and they dont want to hear my talk what the hell is that suppose to mean how am i suppose to react to something like that they treat me like im nothing and wonder why i cry almost every day and lock myself in my room its soo dumb and now i cant go to chicago for spring break my mother wants to go somewhere else its like ok i get no say in it at all going to chicago is the only thing in my life i look forward to its like the only place i can go and feel like im wanted most of the time and now i cant even go there its so stupid i cant wait till i can go live somewhere else and actually have control over my life and not have people always put me down and make me feel like shit i want to run away so bad so i dont have to deal with shit anymore i hate it but i dunno i just hate living here i hate living period o well

317,207

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blog_authorship_998237

got back from the show it was great probably the best show i have ever been to...late for life, plain white t's and <PERSON> were there and o yea unsung zeros were there 2 ha it was fun <PERSON> was there and <PERSON> was all crying its dumb but i dunno there are sooo many hott guys at these shows its unfuckinbelieveable yea well i wanna talk to <PERSON> but noooo i cant cuz hes dumb haha <PERSON> kidding anywho thats it o yea im talking to <PERSON> hahahaha anyway i havent talked to <PERSON> in like forever maybe ill give her a call tomorrow well im out peace

317,208

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148

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blog_authorship_998237

u no u say u take back everything that u said but i dont maybe thats y it hurts so much more cuz i dont regret anything maybe its because when i said that i loved u i meant it and i still do and always will but right now i think ur an asshole and i fuckin hate u doesnt mean i dont love u i just think that ur treating me like shit and thats not cool cuz i didnt do anything and i wont and for u to think that i will then maybe u dont no me as well as u think u do maybe u really dont love me at all if u could say the things that u said then obviously u dont love me maybe it was to good to be true and had to end well then ha...ha i guess this is the end? o well it was nice knowing ya i had fun...ha

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blog_authorship_998237

well yea i was having a good day but now im crying last night me and <PERSON> had pretty interesting conversation and <PERSON> being <PERSON> read it and now hes all like i hate loving u its so stupid it would better off if u made out with <PERSON> so i would have a reason to stop loving u i mean what the fuck i didnt do ANYTHING its fuckin bullshit and just the fact that hes not gonna talk to me now and hes in the processes of trying to forget about me maked me feel like shit cuz i dont no what im gonna do without him hes like the reason y im here i have never been this upset over anything like this before and i dont no what to say its like the first time in my life im speechless i fuckin hate everything right now and i wish i was gone so i wouldnt have to worry about it u no if i was dead things would be better right? so then i wouldnt be hurting everyone right? i dunno im just really really upset and i dont no whats gonna happen

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blog_authorship_998237

'A Place In My Heart' I saw her today, Oh God I miss her smile. A pleasant memory Of things in life worthwhile. [Chorus:] We used to walk and we used to talk We used laugh and we used to cry And there will always be a place in my heart for her. I thought of her today, Of years together spent. A pleasant memory Of places that we went.

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blog_authorship_998237

ha today some funny stuff happened OMG i saw <PERSON> today and i sat with <PERSON> at lunch WOO HOO it was exciting now im talking to <PERSON> about him being an emo kid its funny well i think something is wrong with <PERSON> i dont no tho u no what i havent talked to <PERSON> in like <PERSON> and when i did he was being an asshole so fuck him anywho i hope theres nothing wrong with <PERSON> cuz i dont like it when he is sad it makes me sad

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null

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blog_authorship_998237

well yea today i had volleyball well i dont remeber wat i last wrote about so im just gonna tell u about my day....umm it was boring i joined photo club and im <PERSON> for volleyball and my picture is going on the wall for photo woo hoo i no im cool but thats it i cant be on the phone longer then 10 anymore which sucks my balls blue i told my dad that ill kill myself if i cant have my phone back and he said well when u write ur suicide note be sure to add that u died cuz of a phone o well im out geometry homework peace

317,213

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blog_authorship_998237

yea im having a bad day ive been doing alot of thinking and thats not good ive decided that life isnt worth living anymore when not even ur family cares about u im sick of people treating me like shit its like they dont even notice that im around i hate it really i do i feel like i dont belong anywhere like im not wanted ANYWHERE i dont no i just wish i wasnt around anymore o well

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blog_authorship_998237

today was exciting not really but o well im mad at <PERSON>s mean i dont no i love him anyway y i dont no i dont understand but i miss him : ( yea yea yea im a loser i dont care i think i might cry i dont no why but i think i might over what i dont no ooo wait i think i no.....5 letters...K. E. V. I. N. i hate being in love with him when hes so far away cuz i wanna see him so bad and be with him and whatknot but i cant and its no fun and maybe cuz hes really mean and i dont like it its no fun o well tho nothing i can do about it or him i hate it i have no control over my life its like someone is controling it for me like im a puppet of some sort with this strange ugly guy control my thoughts and my every mood and no matter how hard i try to pull away free he keeps pulling me in deeper and deeper yea i dont no im a weirdo o well i dont care anyway im out peace

317,215

null

142

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blog_authorship_998237

well yea im at kirks house just got back from the mall woo hoo another friday at the mall tomorrow is a show i wanna go but i doubt it anywho i have a game tomorrow to exciting alright well thats it thats my life i no sooo sooo interesting well im out <PERSON> o yea i saw <PERSON> at the mall yay for me well <PERSON>

317,216

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blog_authorship_998237

well yea today i had school fun not really i have really EASY classes....photo, drivers ed, geometry, and english yea easy theres alot of people i no in my lunch which is fun but yea i dont no i bored im at kirks and i dont no how to use the AIM i no im dumb anyway im eating popcorn yummy ha my legs r soo sore from volleyball u have no idea well i think im out peace guess what i dotn no im hungry and o yea i have been thinking...i dont think <PERSON> likes me anymore....yea i dont no y but i think so? but i dont no? all i no is i LOVE him like u have no idea but i dont think he still feels the same i dont no y? but i dunno well im out peace

317,217

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138

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well today was fun but then it sucked my mother went nuts on me said she hated me i was a disappointment u no the usal so tomorrow im leaving im gonna camp out at ginas and <PERSON> house i think we are going out with <PERSON> tomorrow i REALLLLY want to like REALLLY bad but u no i leave in 3 days so i doubt i will anyway thats it so yea im out PEACE

317,218

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blog_authorship_998237

yea well i need to sleep damn <PERSON> is coming over at 1030 in the damn morning oo well anywho im bored and need to sleep but i cant well like 4 more days and i go back im sad very very very oo well theres nothing i can do about it i hope we go out with the cross guys at least one more time before i leave..........

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blog_authorship_998237

alright well lets see monday i saw <PERSON> and ALOT of people at mcdonalds he stole my shoe and when me and <PERSON> went back to ginas we talked to him and <PERSON> for like 100 hours and got alot of things acomplished then <PERSON> got mad at me which was nott fun well last night was fun we went to a hotel party with the cross guys yea yea yea funness then we went to carries not fun the cross guya and the pats guys got into a fight long story not gonna get inot it well now i have to babysit so im out PEACE

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blog_authorship_998237

ha friday night and what is <PERSON> doing......? sitting on her ass y? because...well actually i dont really no...there was a show tonight i REALLY wanted to go to but noooo i didnt have a ride because A) i dont have a car, B) dont have a license and C)shanna my friend with a car is made at me for some reason that im not aware of so i sat at home all by myself and i made cookies...they turned out REALLY bad taste like shit...well i wouldnt no what shit taste like but im pretty sure it would taste like my cookies anyway thats about it <PERSON> should be home soon actually i lied....still like 2 hours well thats it im gonna go and find my vcr and watch kids

317,221

null

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blog_authorship_998237

ok i have decided alot today...hmm where to start...ok well i got a job!! yay i no im so excitied i start tomorrow 10$ an hour gonna be great.. my dad is definitly selling wisconsin and i cried <PERSON> its soo sad nobody understands and nobody ever will its like hes selling my life and he doesnt even care i grew up there it was the only place i felt like i belonged and i felt safe there like i was suppose to be there i imagined myself getting old and having my grand kids come there and i imagined dieing there and everything that place is like a part of me ok yea that sounds really dumb but there is soo much history in that house and that lake and my backyard and everything i love it so much and now its gone i dont even get a chance to stay there one last time the next time i get to go its not gonna be mine anymore and even if i do the boats wont be in there wont be any fires nobody will be around it wont be the same but i guess i gotta let go its only my childhood and everything i live for but hey its ok....i have realized that i really need to get my porities straight like school and stuff cuz i have been slacking its bad im failing geometry BADLY i have a 51.2 which is BAD i spend to much time doing what i want then what im suppose to be doing...its like sooner then later im gonna wake up and my life is gonna be over and i never accomplished anything...i wanna do something with my life i wanna be known for something i wanna make a difference some how really i do i want to successful and i want my life to be good i want to wake up and be proud and happy im still here and im useful i dont want to no that im not worth anything im just so afriad im not gonna do anything with my life and i really dont want that...hmm what else....ok this is for real im starting my work out shit stuff today im starting all over like i did last year i dont want to be lazy nad fat anymore i wanna get into the shape i was before because to tell u the truth i was SO much happier and my self esteem was out the roof and now its 6 feet under...thats another thing i need to stop putting myself down all the time for some reason today i felt realy bad like i was nothing i waste of space i have NO idea y i just woke up and said 'damn it <PERSON> ur ugly ur not worth the oxygen u breathe' i hate making myself feel like that but i do it ALL the time and i dont no y i also need to start caring about certain stuff and actually try and quit slacking off and do what i need to do...wow r u reading all this motivation? <PERSON> ok well i think im done ill right <PERSON> if i come up with other stuff

317,222

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blog_authorship_998237

ok hmm teddies having a bad day i found out some stuff that i really didnt want to hear but hey theres nothing i can do about it really theres nothing well yea i cried last night and this morning cuz im a fuckin baby like that but hey thats how i deal with things im just gonna try and forget about it but i dunno ok thats it peace out

317,223

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blog_authorship_998237

i just got back from the show i went with <PERSON> and <PERSON> <PERSON> and some other people were there it was fun ive been to better but it wasnt bad...any day now played <PERSON> and others but those were the only good ones i got a new cd...the scams OMH they r so good..anyway <PERSON> was there HAHAHA holy shit it was soo funny...she went with <PERSON> and <PERSON> and <PERSON> friends we were tlaking and we talked <PERSON> all like i wasnt throwing shit on u i told them to stop really i did i think ur cool i dont have a problem with u at all its the other girl i dont like and i asked her y and shes like well cuz shes a poser and im like well <PERSON> u were a cheerleader last year how r u not a poser but she was like u no i dont hate u blah blah blah i dont have a problem with u <PERSON> so yea haha its funny anyway there was this kid there and he kept following me he said he was in my english class but i dont no him at all he was like following me EVERY where and then hes like o do u have a bf? and im like yeaaaaa he was all like sad and shit it was soo funny and when i was leaving he tired to give me a hug and i ran away from him he was sooo SCARY! anyway yup that was my night nothing special hahaha <PERSON> said he got his lip pierced tonight wow thats sooo hott yup i wanna talk to <PERSON> but hes out he wont be home for a long time OMG i thnk i have an eating disorder like every time i eat i feel sooo sick and i lost 5 pounds in 3 days i dont think thats good anyway yea im gonna die well now im gonan go lay down and sleep

317,224

null

111

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blog_authorship_998237

i hate everyone i hate EVERYONE theres not one person i can think of right now that i wouldnt mind talking to everyone i no treats me like shit and i hate it u have no idea its like they dont care and want nothing to do with me seriously i dont understand it evry person i no treats me like im nothing and im so sick of it its bullshit i dont even fuckin care anymore im just gonna forget about the ones that dont care about me and find someone new and move on cuz right now i want nothing to do with them

317,225

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blog_authorship_998237

ok yea well im bored and in school its no fun i need to sleep i dont no how im going to make it threw today o wow isnt that a song ha i dont no anyway yea for some reason <PERSON> is really getting me mad i dont no tho but i have no idea its soo weird he was all like ha i talked to <PERSON> more then u this weekend blah blah blah she was #1 this weekend and u were #2 blah blah blah shes my new best friend blah blah blah o man it got me mad i dont even no y but it did cuz knowing her shes gonna start liking him and whatknot and things r gonna get gay anyway thats about it now i would like to say <PERSON> is the coolest guy i no yes thats right hes my #1 and your my #2 peace out

317,226

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blog_authorship_998237

i can still remember it wasn't long ago. things you used to tell me, you said i had to know. told me that you loved me and that you always would. then i said i loved you. you said that that was good. girl, you made a promise, said you'd never want me to go. oh no! indian giver, indian giver, you took your love away from me. indian giver, indian giver, took back the love you gave to me. baby, i was feeling the way i want to feel. you had me believing the love we had was real. things we did together you said they'd never end. 'now until forever.' yeah, that was what you said. girl, when i was down, i knew you'd always be there. oh, yeah! <PERSON>, indian giver, you took your love away from me. <PERSON>, indian giver, took back the love you gave to me.

317,227

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162

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blog_authorship_998237

ok well this little message right about here goes out to <PERSON> because he needs to learn how to actually trust people....first off i didnt do shit abd for u to break up with me because u ASSUMED i had someone else on my mind was soo wrong of u i cant believe u would actually think that i would do that to u....then obviously all the shit u have ever said to me wasnt true because u didnt even talk to me before u made the decsion to break up with me...and whats gonna happen when u do realize tomorrow that what u did was wrong and that i do realy love u and i do really care about u and everything and u try to apologize like u do every fuckin time u pull shit like this and i dont take u back because i actually sat down and talked to some people and i think they knocked some send into me...because what they said so makes sense....for u to make me feel this way( the crying, the shakening, the puking, the cutting the everything) then ur not worth it and im probably better on my own right? but it hurts so much to say that cuz i really do love u and i really do care about u and all that shit u said to me the night before i really did believe but i guess it wasnt true and theres a part of me thats wants to tell <PERSON> everythign will be fine and it will be like nothing ever happened but theres another part of me that says maybe this is better because then i wont have to think about u all the time and i can move on with my life but then i dont want to cuz i REALLY do love u but the thing i dont understand is i didnt do ANYTHING! really i didnt do anything and everyone i talked to tonight didnt understand either they all said they no i would never ever ever ever ever cheat on u in any possible way ever and for u to not understand that its fucked up seriously fucked up how can u be so closed minded so inconsiderate so wrong to think that someone who tells u they love u and means it with all their heart and would give the world to u would ever want to hurt u in anyway i dont understand it and obviously if u really think i liked this kid or really was obssesed with him u really dont no me at all

317,228

[ 317134 ]

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