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usrevenge | this guy is right despite sounding retarded when he says it.
both consoles have about the same supply to our knowledge (about 1 million units)
xbone released in 13 countries, but ps4 just 2 countries
we have no clue how the stock was divided, MS could have had 800k units in the US, and sold all of them and 200k among the other 12 countries.
Sony had 1million between US and canada right? well what if it was 800k US and 200k canada.
then, the US sales of both consoles are equal, the only difference is canada and that sony hasn't released in europe yet.
the point is we DO NOT know. how it will play out in the end, number wise ps4 will probably sell the most, not only do they seem to have more demand, but more supply as well. but it is still foolish to count out microsoft's ability to throw it's money around.
TL;Dr- we won't know how good either console has done until next year. | this guy is right despite sounding retarded when he says it.
both consoles have about the same supply to our knowledge (about 1 million units)
xbone released in 13 countries, but ps4 just 2 countries
we have no clue how the stock was divided, MS could have had 800k units in the US, and sold all of them and 200k among the other 12 countries.
Sony had 1million between US and canada right? well what if it was 800k US and 200k canada.
then, the US sales of both consoles are equal, the only difference is canada and that sony hasn't released in europe yet.
the point is we DO NOT know. how it will play out in the end, number wise ps4 will probably sell the most, not only do they seem to have more demand, but more supply as well. but it is still foolish to count out microsoft's ability to throw it's money around.
TL;Dr- we won't know how good either console has done until next year.
| PS4 | t5_2rrlp | cdp6em1 | this guy is right despite sounding retarded when he says it.
both consoles have about the same supply to our knowledge (about 1 million units)
xbone released in 13 countries, but ps4 just 2 countries
we have no clue how the stock was divided, MS could have had 800k units in the US, and sold all of them and 200k among the other 12 countries.
Sony had 1million between US and canada right? well what if it was 800k US and 200k canada.
then, the US sales of both consoles are equal, the only difference is canada and that sony hasn't released in europe yet.
the point is we DO NOT know. how it will play out in the end, number wise ps4 will probably sell the most, not only do they seem to have more demand, but more supply as well. but it is still foolish to count out microsoft's ability to throw it's money around. | we won't know how good either console has done until next year. |
DunhillPie | I went from an S2 to a N5 and I am really amazed by how fast the N5 is. The N5 has, obviously, improved on every aspect. I just had to get used to the bigger size of the phone and the software buttons. I do have to say that I miss the physical button on the bottom middle of my phone like the S2 but that's just a matter of adjusting.
There have been many posts on this sub-reddit regarding issues on the N5 (bad reception, slow camera, battery drain etc.) but I can't find myself agreeing with most of them. I guess people are comparing the N5 with other flag-ship models on the market but the only benchmark I have is the S2 I used to have and compared to the S2, the N5 is a wonderful machine :) I am 100% sure you will like it as well.
tl;dr
N5 > S2 in every single aspect | I went from an S2 to a N5 and I am really amazed by how fast the N5 is. The N5 has, obviously, improved on every aspect. I just had to get used to the bigger size of the phone and the software buttons. I do have to say that I miss the physical button on the bottom middle of my phone like the S2 but that's just a matter of adjusting.
There have been many posts on this sub-reddit regarding issues on the N5 (bad reception, slow camera, battery drain etc.) but I can't find myself agreeing with most of them. I guess people are comparing the N5 with other flag-ship models on the market but the only benchmark I have is the S2 I used to have and compared to the S2, the N5 is a wonderful machine :) I am 100% sure you will like it as well.
tl;dr
N5 > S2 in every single aspect
| Nexus5 | t5_2v4cu | cdp788e | I went from an S2 to a N5 and I am really amazed by how fast the N5 is. The N5 has, obviously, improved on every aspect. I just had to get used to the bigger size of the phone and the software buttons. I do have to say that I miss the physical button on the bottom middle of my phone like the S2 but that's just a matter of adjusting.
There have been many posts on this sub-reddit regarding issues on the N5 (bad reception, slow camera, battery drain etc.) but I can't find myself agreeing with most of them. I guess people are comparing the N5 with other flag-ship models on the market but the only benchmark I have is the S2 I used to have and compared to the S2, the N5 is a wonderful machine :) I am 100% sure you will like it as well. | N5 > S2 in every single aspect |
armauld | Okay, I get the negative response but hold on for just a sec...
Clinton could have beat Dubya....
Also, while its easy to attack the Washington fixtures, I don't think they've been the problem recently. It's the flood of fresh tea partiers who haven't got a clue about how things work or what the consequences of their actions might be.
TL;DR: Mixed feelings. | Okay, I get the negative response but hold on for just a sec...
Clinton could have beat Dubya....
Also, while its easy to attack the Washington fixtures, I don't think they've been the problem recently. It's the flood of fresh tea partiers who haven't got a clue about how things work or what the consequences of their actions might be.
TL;DR: Mixed feelings.
| politics | t5_2cneq | cdplrcm | Okay, I get the negative response but hold on for just a sec...
Clinton could have beat Dubya....
Also, while its easy to attack the Washington fixtures, I don't think they've been the problem recently. It's the flood of fresh tea partiers who haven't got a clue about how things work or what the consequences of their actions might be. | Mixed feelings. |
gameguy285 | What do you mean "a break is a break"? People have different agreements on what a "break" is, and if they clarified that they weren't supposed to see other people then I'd say his girlfriend betrayed him. I've only heard OP's side of the story, so for all I know they didn't specify what kind of break they were taking and she didn't know she was betraying him. Either way I don't blame OP for being pissed off. It hurts really bad when the person you love has sex with someone else, but if they didn't specify that they weren't supposed to see other people then he needs to stop making her out to be the bad guy. In any case I think OP is just venting his frustration and wanted to get his feelings off his chest. I've been down a similar road and I wanted her to SUFFER for what she did, even though she didn't deserve it in the slightest.
TL;DR: Love is a battlefield. | What do you mean "a break is a break"? People have different agreements on what a "break" is, and if they clarified that they weren't supposed to see other people then I'd say his girlfriend betrayed him. I've only heard OP's side of the story, so for all I know they didn't specify what kind of break they were taking and she didn't know she was betraying him. Either way I don't blame OP for being pissed off. It hurts really bad when the person you love has sex with someone else, but if they didn't specify that they weren't supposed to see other people then he needs to stop making her out to be the bad guy. In any case I think OP is just venting his frustration and wanted to get his feelings off his chest. I've been down a similar road and I wanted her to SUFFER for what she did, even though she didn't deserve it in the slightest.
TL;DR: Love is a battlefield.
| tifu | t5_2to41 | cdq5qdn | What do you mean "a break is a break"? People have different agreements on what a "break" is, and if they clarified that they weren't supposed to see other people then I'd say his girlfriend betrayed him. I've only heard OP's side of the story, so for all I know they didn't specify what kind of break they were taking and she didn't know she was betraying him. Either way I don't blame OP for being pissed off. It hurts really bad when the person you love has sex with someone else, but if they didn't specify that they weren't supposed to see other people then he needs to stop making her out to be the bad guy. In any case I think OP is just venting his frustration and wanted to get his feelings off his chest. I've been down a similar road and I wanted her to SUFFER for what she did, even though she didn't deserve it in the slightest. | Love is a battlefield. |
killerre | a few tweaks
riot: guys we decided that alistar was only being picked on average the same amount of times as all the other supports, so we decided to make a few key changes to his kit firstly he can no longer combine headbutt and pulverize in one combo, we felt this was just making him a little too fun to play.
to keep alistar in line with other supports we decided to make alistar's pulverize do less base damage but the knock up height now scales with ability power (note this doesnt increase the duration of crowed controll)
we felt alistar's headbutt was a little to unique as an ability, so we have decided to change his W to bulls rage ( gives him movespeed scaling on ap 100 ap = 0.01 ms)
alistar's heal just was not in line with other supports, healing all units in an aoe area including minions? a little Over powered so we have decided to scale it back to 20/40/60/80/100 (healing half to all units besides alistar) please note this does not scale with ap as that would be slightly too useful.
now we come to the main change we have done to alistar's kit. alistar's ultimate was allowing him to fulfill a unique early game role within teamplay that no one else could, and this makes him overpowered, he needs to be the exact same as all other supports, so now alistar's ultimate only negates 20% of incoming damage scaling (100 armour = 1%)
we feel these changes will help bring alistar into a more viable pick
as always if you have feedback please note to post to the general forums so we can completely ignore you, however if you manage to get 2k upvotes on reddit we may listen to you
TLDR: alistar receives same treatment as other supports in S4 patch | a few tweaks
riot: guys we decided that alistar was only being picked on average the same amount of times as all the other supports, so we decided to make a few key changes to his kit firstly he can no longer combine headbutt and pulverize in one combo, we felt this was just making him a little too fun to play.
to keep alistar in line with other supports we decided to make alistar's pulverize do less base damage but the knock up height now scales with ability power (note this doesnt increase the duration of crowed controll)
we felt alistar's headbutt was a little to unique as an ability, so we have decided to change his W to bulls rage ( gives him movespeed scaling on ap 100 ap = 0.01 ms)
alistar's heal just was not in line with other supports, healing all units in an aoe area including minions? a little Over powered so we have decided to scale it back to 20/40/60/80/100 (healing half to all units besides alistar) please note this does not scale with ap as that would be slightly too useful.
now we come to the main change we have done to alistar's kit. alistar's ultimate was allowing him to fulfill a unique early game role within teamplay that no one else could, and this makes him overpowered, he needs to be the exact same as all other supports, so now alistar's ultimate only negates 20% of incoming damage scaling (100 armour = 1%)
we feel these changes will help bring alistar into a more viable pick
as always if you have feedback please note to post to the general forums so we can completely ignore you, however if you manage to get 2k upvotes on reddit we may listen to you
TLDR: alistar receives same treatment as other supports in S4 patch
| leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | cdq6epu | a few tweaks
riot: guys we decided that alistar was only being picked on average the same amount of times as all the other supports, so we decided to make a few key changes to his kit firstly he can no longer combine headbutt and pulverize in one combo, we felt this was just making him a little too fun to play.
to keep alistar in line with other supports we decided to make alistar's pulverize do less base damage but the knock up height now scales with ability power (note this doesnt increase the duration of crowed controll)
we felt alistar's headbutt was a little to unique as an ability, so we have decided to change his W to bulls rage ( gives him movespeed scaling on ap 100 ap = 0.01 ms)
alistar's heal just was not in line with other supports, healing all units in an aoe area including minions? a little Over powered so we have decided to scale it back to 20/40/60/80/100 (healing half to all units besides alistar) please note this does not scale with ap as that would be slightly too useful.
now we come to the main change we have done to alistar's kit. alistar's ultimate was allowing him to fulfill a unique early game role within teamplay that no one else could, and this makes him overpowered, he needs to be the exact same as all other supports, so now alistar's ultimate only negates 20% of incoming damage scaling (100 armour = 1%)
we feel these changes will help bring alistar into a more viable pick
as always if you have feedback please note to post to the general forums so we can completely ignore you, however if you manage to get 2k upvotes on reddit we may listen to you | alistar receives same treatment as other supports in S4 patch |
AzzyIzzy | I honestly wouldn't know. It became a point with the initial reworks we saw with tryndamere/fiddle/kayle (if you want to call them reworks compared to some of the more extensive over hauls we've seen) that while somewhat succesful, any major changes were frowned upon because of a general detachment to what the character used to be and represent. So if you've noticed with alot of the more recent re-works, as well as the ones currently being handled, threads and multiple surveys are being sent out to try and peg what makes those champions "them" as well as then finding how they can work around these traits.
The only problem of this is it asks that possible toxicity, or a mechanic that was meant for a different time or period be preserved in some way shape or form. Some rioters have already mentioned again that some of the more drastic champions will not keep their iconic feeling (sion either is being debated as either a mage or warrior, or he has already been decided I can't remember), but where this leaves meta-golems is beyond me.
TL;DR: Irelia and other meta golems pose a unique challenge in that their identity and play style is more unique then the general champions like poppy/sion who also need a rework. | I honestly wouldn't know. It became a point with the initial reworks we saw with tryndamere/fiddle/kayle (if you want to call them reworks compared to some of the more extensive over hauls we've seen) that while somewhat succesful, any major changes were frowned upon because of a general detachment to what the character used to be and represent. So if you've noticed with alot of the more recent re-works, as well as the ones currently being handled, threads and multiple surveys are being sent out to try and peg what makes those champions "them" as well as then finding how they can work around these traits.
The only problem of this is it asks that possible toxicity, or a mechanic that was meant for a different time or period be preserved in some way shape or form. Some rioters have already mentioned again that some of the more drastic champions will not keep their iconic feeling (sion either is being debated as either a mage or warrior, or he has already been decided I can't remember), but where this leaves meta-golems is beyond me.
TL;DR: Irelia and other meta golems pose a unique challenge in that their identity and play style is more unique then the general champions like poppy/sion who also need a rework.
| leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | cdq6hnr | I honestly wouldn't know. It became a point with the initial reworks we saw with tryndamere/fiddle/kayle (if you want to call them reworks compared to some of the more extensive over hauls we've seen) that while somewhat succesful, any major changes were frowned upon because of a general detachment to what the character used to be and represent. So if you've noticed with alot of the more recent re-works, as well as the ones currently being handled, threads and multiple surveys are being sent out to try and peg what makes those champions "them" as well as then finding how they can work around these traits.
The only problem of this is it asks that possible toxicity, or a mechanic that was meant for a different time or period be preserved in some way shape or form. Some rioters have already mentioned again that some of the more drastic champions will not keep their iconic feeling (sion either is being debated as either a mage or warrior, or he has already been decided I can't remember), but where this leaves meta-golems is beyond me. | Irelia and other meta golems pose a unique challenge in that their identity and play style is more unique then the general champions like poppy/sion who also need a rework. |
Nejustinas | I main Alistar. Reducing cooldowns is a really bad idea, since you will have to nerf his other skills afterwards.
People here complaining about his mana costs. What the fuck do you do with the mana? Max Heal and spam it? Are you stupid? The heal is AoE, it pushes your lane and doesn't heal for shit. 1 point is enough for you to heal enough. You are no a fucking Soraka...
Alistar needs some scaling. His ultimate is strange, it could get some AD scaling, where he either gets AD from ARMOR/MR, or gets more ARMOR or MR from HEALTH.
His heal needs a tankier scaling. Making his Heal scale from Health is a lot better than AP, since most caster got that treatment.
________________________
Stun scaling? How about no. I play Alistar, and i know how his stuns work. I can make a target immobile for 3 seconds if i do everything correctly.
____________
TL;DR: Heal gets Health scaling. Ultimate active/passive gets scaling AD from ARMOR/AD/HEALTH. And who ever wants to boost stuns is an idiot. | I main Alistar. Reducing cooldowns is a really bad idea, since you will have to nerf his other skills afterwards.
People here complaining about his mana costs. What the fuck do you do with the mana? Max Heal and spam it? Are you stupid? The heal is AoE, it pushes your lane and doesn't heal for shit. 1 point is enough for you to heal enough. You are no a fucking Soraka...
Alistar needs some scaling. His ultimate is strange, it could get some AD scaling, where he either gets AD from ARMOR/MR, or gets more ARMOR or MR from HEALTH.
His heal needs a tankier scaling. Making his Heal scale from Health is a lot better than AP, since most caster got that treatment.
Stun scaling? How about no. I play Alistar, and i know how his stuns work. I can make a target immobile for 3 seconds if i do everything correctly.
TL;DR: Heal gets Health scaling. Ultimate active/passive gets scaling AD from ARMOR/AD/HEALTH. And who ever wants to boost stuns is an idiot.
| leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | cdq6jub | I main Alistar. Reducing cooldowns is a really bad idea, since you will have to nerf his other skills afterwards.
People here complaining about his mana costs. What the fuck do you do with the mana? Max Heal and spam it? Are you stupid? The heal is AoE, it pushes your lane and doesn't heal for shit. 1 point is enough for you to heal enough. You are no a fucking Soraka...
Alistar needs some scaling. His ultimate is strange, it could get some AD scaling, where he either gets AD from ARMOR/MR, or gets more ARMOR or MR from HEALTH.
His heal needs a tankier scaling. Making his Heal scale from Health is a lot better than AP, since most caster got that treatment.
Stun scaling? How about no. I play Alistar, and i know how his stuns work. I can make a target immobile for 3 seconds if i do everything correctly. | Heal gets Health scaling. Ultimate active/passive gets scaling AD from ARMOR/AD/HEALTH. And who ever wants to boost stuns is an idiot. |
AzzyIzzy | Well sion has multiple problems, his ult is old school op, like alot of the older champs who either never got touched extensively (amumu for example is almost always all around good, but falls out of flavor until his particular brand of annoying comes to be important again).
However sion's ult while great, can be heavily countered by 1 thing, and then moderately countered by a couple things. As you pointed out, sion's r against someone like kat, or someone who has morellos is pretty gg. However, if you have a fh, or nasus e, or a ton of cc, you indirectly screw up the efficiency of sion's ult. Especially since sion'ss try to get alot of atk speed and crit early given how much free ad he gets, it is just that more impactful because he builds for quantity of hits, rather than quality.
But that's the thing, if we look at ap sion he is gimmicky for the fact he has his 1-2 punch(1-2-3 if he does a lich bane build). If we look at ad sion he is even more gimmicky for basically pressing r and winning really hard, or losing really hard. Now admittedly if he gets to 6 items, sion's old school op shows, just as it would on the likes of trynd and yi, but his livelihood before he gets to 6 items is so much worse because of the binary nature of his kit.
TL;DR: Sion is op, but old school op, and has multiple counters to ap/ad, and regardless is overly binary because of this dependence on only 1-2 of his abilities given what he builds. | Well sion has multiple problems, his ult is old school op, like alot of the older champs who either never got touched extensively (amumu for example is almost always all around good, but falls out of flavor until his particular brand of annoying comes to be important again).
However sion's ult while great, can be heavily countered by 1 thing, and then moderately countered by a couple things. As you pointed out, sion's r against someone like kat, or someone who has morellos is pretty gg. However, if you have a fh, or nasus e, or a ton of cc, you indirectly screw up the efficiency of sion's ult. Especially since sion'ss try to get alot of atk speed and crit early given how much free ad he gets, it is just that more impactful because he builds for quantity of hits, rather than quality.
But that's the thing, if we look at ap sion he is gimmicky for the fact he has his 1-2 punch(1-2-3 if he does a lich bane build). If we look at ad sion he is even more gimmicky for basically pressing r and winning really hard, or losing really hard. Now admittedly if he gets to 6 items, sion's old school op shows, just as it would on the likes of trynd and yi, but his livelihood before he gets to 6 items is so much worse because of the binary nature of his kit.
TL;DR: Sion is op, but old school op, and has multiple counters to ap/ad, and regardless is overly binary because of this dependence on only 1-2 of his abilities given what he builds.
| leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | cdqdm62 | Well sion has multiple problems, his ult is old school op, like alot of the older champs who either never got touched extensively (amumu for example is almost always all around good, but falls out of flavor until his particular brand of annoying comes to be important again).
However sion's ult while great, can be heavily countered by 1 thing, and then moderately countered by a couple things. As you pointed out, sion's r against someone like kat, or someone who has morellos is pretty gg. However, if you have a fh, or nasus e, or a ton of cc, you indirectly screw up the efficiency of sion's ult. Especially since sion'ss try to get alot of atk speed and crit early given how much free ad he gets, it is just that more impactful because he builds for quantity of hits, rather than quality.
But that's the thing, if we look at ap sion he is gimmicky for the fact he has his 1-2 punch(1-2-3 if he does a lich bane build). If we look at ad sion he is even more gimmicky for basically pressing r and winning really hard, or losing really hard. Now admittedly if he gets to 6 items, sion's old school op shows, just as it would on the likes of trynd and yi, but his livelihood before he gets to 6 items is so much worse because of the binary nature of his kit. | Sion is op, but old school op, and has multiple counters to ap/ad, and regardless is overly binary because of this dependence on only 1-2 of his abilities given what he builds. |
AzzyIzzy | So Riot made a trade off they either completely rework jax without any of his old identity intact, or they try to keep his identity while also keeping some of the power his idnetity gives. This came in the form of him still doing ap/ad damage, as well as having sustained and burst damage, as well as essentially keeping a lesser version of "personal" dodge. He to is a meta golem, and that is why he and irelia ducked it so often at the end of s2, and beginning of s3.
However Jax and irelia are built to be everything you want 1v1 top lane, but they don't necessarily fall in the favor of the current meta of being a cc bot for example if we were to compare a popular top laner atm like Nasus.
Now I don't like to compare Jax and Shyvana, or even call shyvana a meta golem. I would compare someone like Jax and Poppy before Shyvana. But Shyvana, jax, mundo, poppy, Kayle, (minorly kat now), yorick, and I think 1-2 others, are the few champions who either utilize both ad/ap by engaging, or benefit from just gathering them up like a carry.
SHyvana is more akin to mundo not only in kit but how they function, in that their kits homogenizes periods of bursted intensity in action (you chase or fight while w is on for shyvana, or while mundo's E/R are up), and ultimately you have a very subjectively useful form of CC (mundo suffers less here, but arguably his can be one of the easiest to mitigate, while shyvana either has to build an item to compensate or take exhaust, and even that isn't enough somtimes). However due to their lack of kiting or being able to draw specific attention like a taunt or throw, they have been over loaded with free stats to compensate for the nature of their skills honestly. In what world could shyvana really survive ulting and pulling 5 or less of the opposing team without additional defenses to at least survive getting to them?
Ultimately Shyvana is like alot of the old school champions, in that she was designed around compensation for her weakness, but when her weakness means less due to a new meta/allied champions/or items, she'll be a monster (as we've seen continually with amumu, singed, alistar, udyr pre nerfs, warwick pre nerfs, and so on).
It really is interesting to see a dichotomy of how champions are balanced now. Because it seems that riot gambles on newer champions having a relatively short term period of being op/up, but with greater stability longterm for their future plans. But all of their older designs (I would count a portion of early/mid s2 into this) hinge on making the champion near "perfect" for the given meta, but as soon as it changes more often than not being brokenly op (Xyph was especially good at this as a champion designer if we bring up any of his champions. I really want him to make another champion now that he is less "play good now, pay later" oriented then before).
TL;DR: Yes SHyvana has an additional source of damage, and while her opness will show (maybe it is showing already I don't know the data) possibly in the near future, her compensations of design are for her short comings. While someone like jax/irelia are compensated because of the current meta/their previous reworked vision and feeling. | So Riot made a trade off they either completely rework jax without any of his old identity intact, or they try to keep his identity while also keeping some of the power his idnetity gives. This came in the form of him still doing ap/ad damage, as well as having sustained and burst damage, as well as essentially keeping a lesser version of "personal" dodge. He to is a meta golem, and that is why he and irelia ducked it so often at the end of s2, and beginning of s3.
However Jax and irelia are built to be everything you want 1v1 top lane, but they don't necessarily fall in the favor of the current meta of being a cc bot for example if we were to compare a popular top laner atm like Nasus.
Now I don't like to compare Jax and Shyvana, or even call shyvana a meta golem. I would compare someone like Jax and Poppy before Shyvana. But Shyvana, jax, mundo, poppy, Kayle, (minorly kat now), yorick, and I think 1-2 others, are the few champions who either utilize both ad/ap by engaging, or benefit from just gathering them up like a carry.
SHyvana is more akin to mundo not only in kit but how they function, in that their kits homogenizes periods of bursted intensity in action (you chase or fight while w is on for shyvana, or while mundo's E/R are up), and ultimately you have a very subjectively useful form of CC (mundo suffers less here, but arguably his can be one of the easiest to mitigate, while shyvana either has to build an item to compensate or take exhaust, and even that isn't enough somtimes). However due to their lack of kiting or being able to draw specific attention like a taunt or throw, they have been over loaded with free stats to compensate for the nature of their skills honestly. In what world could shyvana really survive ulting and pulling 5 or less of the opposing team without additional defenses to at least survive getting to them?
Ultimately Shyvana is like alot of the old school champions, in that she was designed around compensation for her weakness, but when her weakness means less due to a new meta/allied champions/or items, she'll be a monster (as we've seen continually with amumu, singed, alistar, udyr pre nerfs, warwick pre nerfs, and so on).
It really is interesting to see a dichotomy of how champions are balanced now. Because it seems that riot gambles on newer champions having a relatively short term period of being op/up, but with greater stability longterm for their future plans. But all of their older designs (I would count a portion of early/mid s2 into this) hinge on making the champion near "perfect" for the given meta, but as soon as it changes more often than not being brokenly op (Xyph was especially good at this as a champion designer if we bring up any of his champions. I really want him to make another champion now that he is less "play good now, pay later" oriented then before).
TL;DR: Yes SHyvana has an additional source of damage, and while her opness will show (maybe it is showing already I don't know the data) possibly in the near future, her compensations of design are for her short comings. While someone like jax/irelia are compensated because of the current meta/their previous reworked vision and feeling.
| leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | cdqe467 | So Riot made a trade off they either completely rework jax without any of his old identity intact, or they try to keep his identity while also keeping some of the power his idnetity gives. This came in the form of him still doing ap/ad damage, as well as having sustained and burst damage, as well as essentially keeping a lesser version of "personal" dodge. He to is a meta golem, and that is why he and irelia ducked it so often at the end of s2, and beginning of s3.
However Jax and irelia are built to be everything you want 1v1 top lane, but they don't necessarily fall in the favor of the current meta of being a cc bot for example if we were to compare a popular top laner atm like Nasus.
Now I don't like to compare Jax and Shyvana, or even call shyvana a meta golem. I would compare someone like Jax and Poppy before Shyvana. But Shyvana, jax, mundo, poppy, Kayle, (minorly kat now), yorick, and I think 1-2 others, are the few champions who either utilize both ad/ap by engaging, or benefit from just gathering them up like a carry.
SHyvana is more akin to mundo not only in kit but how they function, in that their kits homogenizes periods of bursted intensity in action (you chase or fight while w is on for shyvana, or while mundo's E/R are up), and ultimately you have a very subjectively useful form of CC (mundo suffers less here, but arguably his can be one of the easiest to mitigate, while shyvana either has to build an item to compensate or take exhaust, and even that isn't enough somtimes). However due to their lack of kiting or being able to draw specific attention like a taunt or throw, they have been over loaded with free stats to compensate for the nature of their skills honestly. In what world could shyvana really survive ulting and pulling 5 or less of the opposing team without additional defenses to at least survive getting to them?
Ultimately Shyvana is like alot of the old school champions, in that she was designed around compensation for her weakness, but when her weakness means less due to a new meta/allied champions/or items, she'll be a monster (as we've seen continually with amumu, singed, alistar, udyr pre nerfs, warwick pre nerfs, and so on).
It really is interesting to see a dichotomy of how champions are balanced now. Because it seems that riot gambles on newer champions having a relatively short term period of being op/up, but with greater stability longterm for their future plans. But all of their older designs (I would count a portion of early/mid s2 into this) hinge on making the champion near "perfect" for the given meta, but as soon as it changes more often than not being brokenly op (Xyph was especially good at this as a champion designer if we bring up any of his champions. I really want him to make another champion now that he is less "play good now, pay later" oriented then before). | Yes SHyvana has an additional source of damage, and while her opness will show (maybe it is showing already I don't know the data) possibly in the near future, her compensations of design are for her short comings. While someone like jax/irelia are compensated because of the current meta/their previous reworked vision and feeling. |
Cthulusbaby | The other dog overreacted massively but the fact that your dog wasn't hurt means that it wasn't trying to hurt, only discipline your dog. It's very easy for a dog to puncture skin if it wants to, so this means its biting was inhibited even if it looked very violent and aggressive. Be that as it may, a simple growl and a snap would have sufficed.
Within normal levels dogs do discipline each other in this way, to a human's eyes it looks like a fight but to a dog's eyes your dog deserved it and was being told off. To a dog, it's incredibly rude to just run up and invade someone's space without going through the sniffing and meeting process.
My advice is to go back to that dog park as if nothing happened. The best way to react in these non-injury situations is to act like nothing has happened, that way your dog will learn to be cautious around other dogs but it won't develop nervous behaviors. If you allow yourself to be affected by this incident your dog will also be affected, and it will learn to be fearful of other dogs.
If this ever happens again don't worry about it, don't act like it's a big thing, if your dog doesn't have puncture marks just take it away from the angry dog and allow it to continue playing. Don't take it home immediately because then you are leaving the dog park on a bad note, which will teach her that the dog park is a bad place. Dogs are not civilized creatures and sometimes their ways of telling each other off seem brutal to us humans.
TL:DR, if she wasn't injured then it's not a big deal, no matter how violent it may have looked. | The other dog overreacted massively but the fact that your dog wasn't hurt means that it wasn't trying to hurt, only discipline your dog. It's very easy for a dog to puncture skin if it wants to, so this means its biting was inhibited even if it looked very violent and aggressive. Be that as it may, a simple growl and a snap would have sufficed.
Within normal levels dogs do discipline each other in this way, to a human's eyes it looks like a fight but to a dog's eyes your dog deserved it and was being told off. To a dog, it's incredibly rude to just run up and invade someone's space without going through the sniffing and meeting process.
My advice is to go back to that dog park as if nothing happened. The best way to react in these non-injury situations is to act like nothing has happened, that way your dog will learn to be cautious around other dogs but it won't develop nervous behaviors. If you allow yourself to be affected by this incident your dog will also be affected, and it will learn to be fearful of other dogs.
If this ever happens again don't worry about it, don't act like it's a big thing, if your dog doesn't have puncture marks just take it away from the angry dog and allow it to continue playing. Don't take it home immediately because then you are leaving the dog park on a bad note, which will teach her that the dog park is a bad place. Dogs are not civilized creatures and sometimes their ways of telling each other off seem brutal to us humans.
TL:DR, if she wasn't injured then it's not a big deal, no matter how violent it may have looked.
| dogs | t5_2qhhk | cdq57bz | The other dog overreacted massively but the fact that your dog wasn't hurt means that it wasn't trying to hurt, only discipline your dog. It's very easy for a dog to puncture skin if it wants to, so this means its biting was inhibited even if it looked very violent and aggressive. Be that as it may, a simple growl and a snap would have sufficed.
Within normal levels dogs do discipline each other in this way, to a human's eyes it looks like a fight but to a dog's eyes your dog deserved it and was being told off. To a dog, it's incredibly rude to just run up and invade someone's space without going through the sniffing and meeting process.
My advice is to go back to that dog park as if nothing happened. The best way to react in these non-injury situations is to act like nothing has happened, that way your dog will learn to be cautious around other dogs but it won't develop nervous behaviors. If you allow yourself to be affected by this incident your dog will also be affected, and it will learn to be fearful of other dogs.
If this ever happens again don't worry about it, don't act like it's a big thing, if your dog doesn't have puncture marks just take it away from the angry dog and allow it to continue playing. Don't take it home immediately because then you are leaving the dog park on a bad note, which will teach her that the dog park is a bad place. Dogs are not civilized creatures and sometimes their ways of telling each other off seem brutal to us humans. | if she wasn't injured then it's not a big deal, no matter how violent it may have looked. |
joshcoles | I'm from PEI and I work in tourism (AKA I'm a tour guide in the summer). Tourism is one of our 3 biggest industries up there with fishing and farming, and Anne of Green Gables specifically is a huge part of that.
A lot of Japanese people come out to PEI to go to the Anne of Green Gables House to get married. The funny thing is that, considering it's a fictional book, it's not like it was really "Anne's" house. It's just a house that inspired L. M. Montgomery's story...correct me if I'm wrong but I think it was her aunts or something. + The furniture and stuff on the inside isn't original, but they give tours on the inside.
tl;dr: Anne of Green Gables is funny and really important for PEI Tourism. | I'm from PEI and I work in tourism (AKA I'm a tour guide in the summer). Tourism is one of our 3 biggest industries up there with fishing and farming, and Anne of Green Gables specifically is a huge part of that.
A lot of Japanese people come out to PEI to go to the Anne of Green Gables House to get married. The funny thing is that, considering it's a fictional book, it's not like it was really "Anne's" house. It's just a house that inspired L. M. Montgomery's story...correct me if I'm wrong but I think it was her aunts or something. + The furniture and stuff on the inside isn't original, but they give tours on the inside.
tl;dr: Anne of Green Gables is funny and really important for PEI Tourism.
| offbeat | t5_2qh11 | cdq5x2v | I'm from PEI and I work in tourism (AKA I'm a tour guide in the summer). Tourism is one of our 3 biggest industries up there with fishing and farming, and Anne of Green Gables specifically is a huge part of that.
A lot of Japanese people come out to PEI to go to the Anne of Green Gables House to get married. The funny thing is that, considering it's a fictional book, it's not like it was really "Anne's" house. It's just a house that inspired L. M. Montgomery's story...correct me if I'm wrong but I think it was her aunts or something. + The furniture and stuff on the inside isn't original, but they give tours on the inside. | Anne of Green Gables is funny and really important for PEI Tourism. |
kuhnsc | Most arduino boards use a linear regulator to create 5v. Linear regulators burn off voltage as heat. Using a switching regulator will step the voltage down more efficiently as Schmigneous said. The linear regulator can then be used to "clean" the output of the switching regulator. Switching regulators tend to be fairly noisy compared to linear regulators. Linear regulators are great at low currents. If you put a servo or any other parts that draw significant current you will overheat the board quickly.
TLDR; You can run 12v into the board but it might get really hot. Use something to step it down first or get a lower voltage line.
EDIT: Oh, and welcome to arduino! | Most arduino boards use a linear regulator to create 5v. Linear regulators burn off voltage as heat. Using a switching regulator will step the voltage down more efficiently as Schmigneous said. The linear regulator can then be used to "clean" the output of the switching regulator. Switching regulators tend to be fairly noisy compared to linear regulators. Linear regulators are great at low currents. If you put a servo or any other parts that draw significant current you will overheat the board quickly.
TLDR; You can run 12v into the board but it might get really hot. Use something to step it down first or get a lower voltage line.
EDIT: Oh, and welcome to arduino!
| arduino | t5_2qknj | cdq4hr2 | Most arduino boards use a linear regulator to create 5v. Linear regulators burn off voltage as heat. Using a switching regulator will step the voltage down more efficiently as Schmigneous said. The linear regulator can then be used to "clean" the output of the switching regulator. Switching regulators tend to be fairly noisy compared to linear regulators. Linear regulators are great at low currents. If you put a servo or any other parts that draw significant current you will overheat the board quickly. | You can run 12v into the board but it might get really hot. Use something to step it down first or get a lower voltage line.
EDIT: Oh, and welcome to arduino! |
SCVanguard | I was dating a mormon girl in high school. Over the course of a month, things got heavy real quick. We were ditching classes and going to her house when her parents weren't home. After a few weeks, she was talking with a friend online who was giving her tips on how to be better at oral. She left the computer for something and mom walked in to see her nightmare.
I get a call a few minutes later. Its the girlfriend and she says her parents are on their way to my house. They are making her pack a bag and are threatening to send her off to relatives in Michigan. I'm pretty shaken up at this point, sitting in my room freaking out about whats going to happen. I hear some commotion outside my room...the other parents had barged into our home without knocking and demanded to speak to me.
My mom pulls me out of my room and I sit on the couch crying. These two parents stand over me and berate me for about 10 minutes, calling me crazy names, cursing at me, and attempting to make me feel two inches tall (and it worked). This whole time my parents are doing nothing because they were in a state of shock. After that 10 minutes of hell, they walked out and my parents followed. I curled up in the fetal position on the couch and waited for my parents to come back in and beat my ass. Instead, they came in and said "we will NEVER let anyone talk to you or treat you like that ever again."
TL;DR Mormon parents go crazy when they find out their sweet, innocent daughter was all about my D | I was dating a mormon girl in high school. Over the course of a month, things got heavy real quick. We were ditching classes and going to her house when her parents weren't home. After a few weeks, she was talking with a friend online who was giving her tips on how to be better at oral. She left the computer for something and mom walked in to see her nightmare.
I get a call a few minutes later. Its the girlfriend and she says her parents are on their way to my house. They are making her pack a bag and are threatening to send her off to relatives in Michigan. I'm pretty shaken up at this point, sitting in my room freaking out about whats going to happen. I hear some commotion outside my room...the other parents had barged into our home without knocking and demanded to speak to me.
My mom pulls me out of my room and I sit on the couch crying. These two parents stand over me and berate me for about 10 minutes, calling me crazy names, cursing at me, and attempting to make me feel two inches tall (and it worked). This whole time my parents are doing nothing because they were in a state of shock. After that 10 minutes of hell, they walked out and my parents followed. I curled up in the fetal position on the couch and waited for my parents to come back in and beat my ass. Instead, they came in and said "we will NEVER let anyone talk to you or treat you like that ever again."
TL;DR Mormon parents go crazy when they find out their sweet, innocent daughter was all about my D
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqbu35 | I was dating a mormon girl in high school. Over the course of a month, things got heavy real quick. We were ditching classes and going to her house when her parents weren't home. After a few weeks, she was talking with a friend online who was giving her tips on how to be better at oral. She left the computer for something and mom walked in to see her nightmare.
I get a call a few minutes later. Its the girlfriend and she says her parents are on their way to my house. They are making her pack a bag and are threatening to send her off to relatives in Michigan. I'm pretty shaken up at this point, sitting in my room freaking out about whats going to happen. I hear some commotion outside my room...the other parents had barged into our home without knocking and demanded to speak to me.
My mom pulls me out of my room and I sit on the couch crying. These two parents stand over me and berate me for about 10 minutes, calling me crazy names, cursing at me, and attempting to make me feel two inches tall (and it worked). This whole time my parents are doing nothing because they were in a state of shock. After that 10 minutes of hell, they walked out and my parents followed. I curled up in the fetal position on the couch and waited for my parents to come back in and beat my ass. Instead, they came in and said "we will NEVER let anyone talk to you or treat you like that ever again." | Mormon parents go crazy when they find out their sweet, innocent daughter was all about my D |
vegassadness | Long story short...
My girlfriend of 5 years and I were having problems. I was was afraid to propose (big step), she was waiting for me to propose. Neither of us knew the others position on the matter. This came to a head when I found out she was leaving me for another guy because I would never commit. I decided to put everything on the line and proposed to her. (There is more to this. Just know that I thought everything was fine)
This other guy was a co-worker of hers so we decided we needed to get away from everything for a while. We literally packed our bags and drove right to the airport. We ended up booking a flight to Vegas on the spot. While waiting for our flight we went on the airport internet and booked a hotel.
We got to Vegas and had a blast for a few days. Eventually it comes to light that she had told "the other guy" where we had gone, so he flew out to Vegas as well. He asked her to meet with him to talk, she tells me she is going to talk to him to once and for all to end things with him.
An hour later I get a call from her. She proceeds to tell me that I am not the right person for her and that she is leaving me for this other guy.
(Scene)
I have my face pressed against the 30th floor glass of Treasure Island Casino while begging her not to do this with tears streaming down my face..... (heart broken)
TLDR: Heart breaks in Vegas on 30th floor of TI casino | Long story short...
My girlfriend of 5 years and I were having problems. I was was afraid to propose (big step), she was waiting for me to propose. Neither of us knew the others position on the matter. This came to a head when I found out she was leaving me for another guy because I would never commit. I decided to put everything on the line and proposed to her. (There is more to this. Just know that I thought everything was fine)
This other guy was a co-worker of hers so we decided we needed to get away from everything for a while. We literally packed our bags and drove right to the airport. We ended up booking a flight to Vegas on the spot. While waiting for our flight we went on the airport internet and booked a hotel.
We got to Vegas and had a blast for a few days. Eventually it comes to light that she had told "the other guy" where we had gone, so he flew out to Vegas as well. He asked her to meet with him to talk, she tells me she is going to talk to him to once and for all to end things with him.
An hour later I get a call from her. She proceeds to tell me that I am not the right person for her and that she is leaving me for this other guy.
(Scene)
I have my face pressed against the 30th floor glass of Treasure Island Casino while begging her not to do this with tears streaming down my face..... (heart broken)
TLDR: Heart breaks in Vegas on 30th floor of TI casino
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdu6n | Long story short...
My girlfriend of 5 years and I were having problems. I was was afraid to propose (big step), she was waiting for me to propose. Neither of us knew the others position on the matter. This came to a head when I found out she was leaving me for another guy because I would never commit. I decided to put everything on the line and proposed to her. (There is more to this. Just know that I thought everything was fine)
This other guy was a co-worker of hers so we decided we needed to get away from everything for a while. We literally packed our bags and drove right to the airport. We ended up booking a flight to Vegas on the spot. While waiting for our flight we went on the airport internet and booked a hotel.
We got to Vegas and had a blast for a few days. Eventually it comes to light that she had told "the other guy" where we had gone, so he flew out to Vegas as well. He asked her to meet with him to talk, she tells me she is going to talk to him to once and for all to end things with him.
An hour later I get a call from her. She proceeds to tell me that I am not the right person for her and that she is leaving me for this other guy.
(Scene)
I have my face pressed against the 30th floor glass of Treasure Island Casino while begging her not to do this with tears streaming down my face..... (heart broken) | Heart breaks in Vegas on 30th floor of TI casino |
illSolveThat | I was head over heels for a girl, after we became best friends I got her out on a date and it was all up from there. She teased me about how she was mad I waited for so long to ask her out. I won't describe too much, but she really made any moment better, one of the best people I have ever met. I would do anything for her. She was perfect in my eyes.
She asked me to meet her at a coffee shop where we would frequent. I could tell things were off since she didn't rise to greet me, which already started that surreal feeling you get in situations like this. She then went on to tell me she needed time to sort things out because her mother had complications that were looking very very bleak. I has known this for a while having helped them out on many occasions. It was just a shock that it was cause for a pause. I couldn't be mad, it seemed reasonable and dutiful. She said it wouldn't be fair to me that she wouldn't have time for me, a choice I wish I could have made. It sucked no matter how reasonable it was, I stood and left the coffee shop for the privacy of my vehicle. She followed me out and gave me a kiss showing she meant that it was only a break. What a confusing day that was for me.
A while later I'm over at her moms helping because the daughter was off on a trip. The mother had always texted me because I was always willing to help around the house, and with their dog because her health made moving painful. While over the mother talked to me about a lot of things including stuff like how it made her happy seeing her daughter happy because of me. She hoped I would always be there with her. The daughter ended up missing several flights home, at the time this made me mad for several reasons. She wasn't coming to care for her mum and I was doing all of this and she probably didn't care. Looking back I think this is where your question can start to be answered as to where I had a serious pause in my life and a broken heart.
During one of my visits the mother thanks me for everything and says how lucky her daughter is. I guess she didn't hear what happened. She asks if I can talk her into coming back rather than continually expanding her trip. I call the daughter and tell her that it's great she's having fun with friends and family but she really does need to come back and take care of her mom. Her mom suffers without her. I tell her she is being selfish and childish, all the while I myself am being just that, expecting thanks or what not from her along with wanting what's right for her mother. She kept expanding that trip because it allowed her to pretend like everything was ok.
When she returns the mothers health drops even faster. I get calls and texts from them asking for help but I make excuses and slip the requests because I convince myself I'm being used and am not being appreciated. How's that for being selfish and childish. I put myself higher than the girls own mother. I get a call asking for more help from the daughter and she can sense I'm going to back out, she in a broken voice says sorry for everything and says this isn't how she wanted things to go. I can still hear that call. I wish I could have reacted differently. I don't help as much as I could have. Even the mom texts me once, in the last conversation I have with her I tell her why I hadn't been around saying that I loved her daughter and it's hard not seeing any of it back. What an idiot I was thinking that that was remotely important to the daughter. The mom said she knows and understood. Looking back I should be ashamed and am ashamed.
A few days later I do go see the mother in the hospital because things are getting really really bad. I hug the daughter outside the room, a long comforting hug we say a few things and I say I'm sorry and that I'll always be there for her. What a great job I had been doing with that as of late. I push away there and left the daughter outside the room, I did it for selfish reasons though, I told myself she didn't actually want comfort from me.
I walk in the room and I realize how bad it must be for the daughter. The mom was the only family she had where we lived. The mother was hooked up to all the machines, her face had shrunken and lost its normal features. She was asleep when I was there but I sat in the corner of the room and talked quietly for a second saying things that didn't matter I suppose. I left after touching her hand and kissing her forehead. I give the daughter another hug as I left but it was more of a formality because I was convinced I was being slighted by her. Another place where some how I was the important one. I looked back and she had crumpled in a chair outside the room no one else was there. I should have fucking stayed, I should have done that for her if I had loved her. But I fucking didn't. I got in my truck and tried to forget what I saw.
The next morning I got a text saying she had passed that night. The mother was such a nice women and I felt sick thinking about everything I didn't do. I called the daughter but she didn't answer, why should she. I just sent a condolence text, that's all I did. Over the next few days I try getting a hold of her, asking if I can bring food or if she just wants to talk, or even just have some one near her. She refuses everything and ignores most of it. Here again I thought I was being slighted, that she didn't appreciate me. But it wasn't that or even remotely that. She didn't trust me anymore, I wasn't there when she needed it. Why would she place any hope or comfort in a person who became more and more flaky. It all seems so obvious looking back, I wasn't protecting myself from her being unjust and mean to me, I was pushing her farther and farther when she and her mother needed me because I felt that I for some reason should be getting feedback on what I was doing. How could I not see that the idea of losing a mother dwarfed anything as stupid as a guy you had known for 6-7 years, how could I begrudge her.
I attend the funeral and something about it made me realize what I had been doing. The daughter looked perfect in a black dress and black bow with little black flats. I sat on the isle watching her. I watched her try to smile at people. I saw the sadness as she knelt at the casket for 20 min as others showed up. She walked right past me even as I stood to try and hug her in the isle. I watched her choke out a few words. As she stood up at the front it hit me. I gave her a hug at the end. And she cried more on my shoulder. I felt dirty. As I drove home, the weeks, and a few months since I see what I did. How I fucked up. That night I had a moment sitting in my driveway. I realized I was a selfish person, I realized everything I had assumed not only had to be wrong but was so terribly self serving that I caused what I had feared and blamed her for. I became flakey, and a piece of shit. I wasn't there. I turned a thing like losing a parent into a whole tragedy where I was being fucked over, how did I manage to convince myself a situation as personal and deep as this had any little thing to do with me. That night I saw how big my head was, I wasn't the good guy I thought I was through all that. I was the scumbag. I realized all this cost me her, I loved her and I consumed all the chances for her in my selfishness and idiocy. I felt more broken there than I ever have in my life. It wasn't just that I realized I lost her, I realized that I was so freaking shitty to her by not helping when she asked for help. I saw how bad of a person I was. It shattered my opinion of myself. How did I manage to do all that, I deserve this outcome really.
She came over yesterday and I made her tea for the first time in ages. She brought me a birthday card that she had since my birthday last month. She still remembered that. It felt good, I told her what I realized like I had over text before but I wanted to say in person not just over text where I can hide. Idk if it helped anything but I hope it at least showed her that I can see what an idiot I was and probably still am ( I hope that I've changed and act slower on things than I did before). An apology of sorts. It's tough when I see her. I still am in love I think I felt empty when she left and didn't sleep much, but I know I don't deserve her, and I certainly hope she doesn't think I do.
I don't know if I did a good job describing this moment. And if there are issues please forgive me I'm on my phone for this. It feels good writing this. I hope at least one person reads this and evaluates what they are doing and maybe see that the reality they are crafting isn't what is actually occurring outside of them.
Edit:
tl;dr: I realized I was a selfish person, and a bad guy to some one who meant the world to me which caused me to lose them. | I was head over heels for a girl, after we became best friends I got her out on a date and it was all up from there. She teased me about how she was mad I waited for so long to ask her out. I won't describe too much, but she really made any moment better, one of the best people I have ever met. I would do anything for her. She was perfect in my eyes.
She asked me to meet her at a coffee shop where we would frequent. I could tell things were off since she didn't rise to greet me, which already started that surreal feeling you get in situations like this. She then went on to tell me she needed time to sort things out because her mother had complications that were looking very very bleak. I has known this for a while having helped them out on many occasions. It was just a shock that it was cause for a pause. I couldn't be mad, it seemed reasonable and dutiful. She said it wouldn't be fair to me that she wouldn't have time for me, a choice I wish I could have made. It sucked no matter how reasonable it was, I stood and left the coffee shop for the privacy of my vehicle. She followed me out and gave me a kiss showing she meant that it was only a break. What a confusing day that was for me.
A while later I'm over at her moms helping because the daughter was off on a trip. The mother had always texted me because I was always willing to help around the house, and with their dog because her health made moving painful. While over the mother talked to me about a lot of things including stuff like how it made her happy seeing her daughter happy because of me. She hoped I would always be there with her. The daughter ended up missing several flights home, at the time this made me mad for several reasons. She wasn't coming to care for her mum and I was doing all of this and she probably didn't care. Looking back I think this is where your question can start to be answered as to where I had a serious pause in my life and a broken heart.
During one of my visits the mother thanks me for everything and says how lucky her daughter is. I guess she didn't hear what happened. She asks if I can talk her into coming back rather than continually expanding her trip. I call the daughter and tell her that it's great she's having fun with friends and family but she really does need to come back and take care of her mom. Her mom suffers without her. I tell her she is being selfish and childish, all the while I myself am being just that, expecting thanks or what not from her along with wanting what's right for her mother. She kept expanding that trip because it allowed her to pretend like everything was ok.
When she returns the mothers health drops even faster. I get calls and texts from them asking for help but I make excuses and slip the requests because I convince myself I'm being used and am not being appreciated. How's that for being selfish and childish. I put myself higher than the girls own mother. I get a call asking for more help from the daughter and she can sense I'm going to back out, she in a broken voice says sorry for everything and says this isn't how she wanted things to go. I can still hear that call. I wish I could have reacted differently. I don't help as much as I could have. Even the mom texts me once, in the last conversation I have with her I tell her why I hadn't been around saying that I loved her daughter and it's hard not seeing any of it back. What an idiot I was thinking that that was remotely important to the daughter. The mom said she knows and understood. Looking back I should be ashamed and am ashamed.
A few days later I do go see the mother in the hospital because things are getting really really bad. I hug the daughter outside the room, a long comforting hug we say a few things and I say I'm sorry and that I'll always be there for her. What a great job I had been doing with that as of late. I push away there and left the daughter outside the room, I did it for selfish reasons though, I told myself she didn't actually want comfort from me.
I walk in the room and I realize how bad it must be for the daughter. The mom was the only family she had where we lived. The mother was hooked up to all the machines, her face had shrunken and lost its normal features. She was asleep when I was there but I sat in the corner of the room and talked quietly for a second saying things that didn't matter I suppose. I left after touching her hand and kissing her forehead. I give the daughter another hug as I left but it was more of a formality because I was convinced I was being slighted by her. Another place where some how I was the important one. I looked back and she had crumpled in a chair outside the room no one else was there. I should have fucking stayed, I should have done that for her if I had loved her. But I fucking didn't. I got in my truck and tried to forget what I saw.
The next morning I got a text saying she had passed that night. The mother was such a nice women and I felt sick thinking about everything I didn't do. I called the daughter but she didn't answer, why should she. I just sent a condolence text, that's all I did. Over the next few days I try getting a hold of her, asking if I can bring food or if she just wants to talk, or even just have some one near her. She refuses everything and ignores most of it. Here again I thought I was being slighted, that she didn't appreciate me. But it wasn't that or even remotely that. She didn't trust me anymore, I wasn't there when she needed it. Why would she place any hope or comfort in a person who became more and more flaky. It all seems so obvious looking back, I wasn't protecting myself from her being unjust and mean to me, I was pushing her farther and farther when she and her mother needed me because I felt that I for some reason should be getting feedback on what I was doing. How could I not see that the idea of losing a mother dwarfed anything as stupid as a guy you had known for 6-7 years, how could I begrudge her.
I attend the funeral and something about it made me realize what I had been doing. The daughter looked perfect in a black dress and black bow with little black flats. I sat on the isle watching her. I watched her try to smile at people. I saw the sadness as she knelt at the casket for 20 min as others showed up. She walked right past me even as I stood to try and hug her in the isle. I watched her choke out a few words. As she stood up at the front it hit me. I gave her a hug at the end. And she cried more on my shoulder. I felt dirty. As I drove home, the weeks, and a few months since I see what I did. How I fucked up. That night I had a moment sitting in my driveway. I realized I was a selfish person, I realized everything I had assumed not only had to be wrong but was so terribly self serving that I caused what I had feared and blamed her for. I became flakey, and a piece of shit. I wasn't there. I turned a thing like losing a parent into a whole tragedy where I was being fucked over, how did I manage to convince myself a situation as personal and deep as this had any little thing to do with me. That night I saw how big my head was, I wasn't the good guy I thought I was through all that. I was the scumbag. I realized all this cost me her, I loved her and I consumed all the chances for her in my selfishness and idiocy. I felt more broken there than I ever have in my life. It wasn't just that I realized I lost her, I realized that I was so freaking shitty to her by not helping when she asked for help. I saw how bad of a person I was. It shattered my opinion of myself. How did I manage to do all that, I deserve this outcome really.
She came over yesterday and I made her tea for the first time in ages. She brought me a birthday card that she had since my birthday last month. She still remembered that. It felt good, I told her what I realized like I had over text before but I wanted to say in person not just over text where I can hide. Idk if it helped anything but I hope it at least showed her that I can see what an idiot I was and probably still am ( I hope that I've changed and act slower on things than I did before). An apology of sorts. It's tough when I see her. I still am in love I think I felt empty when she left and didn't sleep much, but I know I don't deserve her, and I certainly hope she doesn't think I do.
I don't know if I did a good job describing this moment. And if there are issues please forgive me I'm on my phone for this. It feels good writing this. I hope at least one person reads this and evaluates what they are doing and maybe see that the reality they are crafting isn't what is actually occurring outside of them.
Edit:
tl;dr: I realized I was a selfish person, and a bad guy to some one who meant the world to me which caused me to lose them.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqf8u8 | I was head over heels for a girl, after we became best friends I got her out on a date and it was all up from there. She teased me about how she was mad I waited for so long to ask her out. I won't describe too much, but she really made any moment better, one of the best people I have ever met. I would do anything for her. She was perfect in my eyes.
She asked me to meet her at a coffee shop where we would frequent. I could tell things were off since she didn't rise to greet me, which already started that surreal feeling you get in situations like this. She then went on to tell me she needed time to sort things out because her mother had complications that were looking very very bleak. I has known this for a while having helped them out on many occasions. It was just a shock that it was cause for a pause. I couldn't be mad, it seemed reasonable and dutiful. She said it wouldn't be fair to me that she wouldn't have time for me, a choice I wish I could have made. It sucked no matter how reasonable it was, I stood and left the coffee shop for the privacy of my vehicle. She followed me out and gave me a kiss showing she meant that it was only a break. What a confusing day that was for me.
A while later I'm over at her moms helping because the daughter was off on a trip. The mother had always texted me because I was always willing to help around the house, and with their dog because her health made moving painful. While over the mother talked to me about a lot of things including stuff like how it made her happy seeing her daughter happy because of me. She hoped I would always be there with her. The daughter ended up missing several flights home, at the time this made me mad for several reasons. She wasn't coming to care for her mum and I was doing all of this and she probably didn't care. Looking back I think this is where your question can start to be answered as to where I had a serious pause in my life and a broken heart.
During one of my visits the mother thanks me for everything and says how lucky her daughter is. I guess she didn't hear what happened. She asks if I can talk her into coming back rather than continually expanding her trip. I call the daughter and tell her that it's great she's having fun with friends and family but she really does need to come back and take care of her mom. Her mom suffers without her. I tell her she is being selfish and childish, all the while I myself am being just that, expecting thanks or what not from her along with wanting what's right for her mother. She kept expanding that trip because it allowed her to pretend like everything was ok.
When she returns the mothers health drops even faster. I get calls and texts from them asking for help but I make excuses and slip the requests because I convince myself I'm being used and am not being appreciated. How's that for being selfish and childish. I put myself higher than the girls own mother. I get a call asking for more help from the daughter and she can sense I'm going to back out, she in a broken voice says sorry for everything and says this isn't how she wanted things to go. I can still hear that call. I wish I could have reacted differently. I don't help as much as I could have. Even the mom texts me once, in the last conversation I have with her I tell her why I hadn't been around saying that I loved her daughter and it's hard not seeing any of it back. What an idiot I was thinking that that was remotely important to the daughter. The mom said she knows and understood. Looking back I should be ashamed and am ashamed.
A few days later I do go see the mother in the hospital because things are getting really really bad. I hug the daughter outside the room, a long comforting hug we say a few things and I say I'm sorry and that I'll always be there for her. What a great job I had been doing with that as of late. I push away there and left the daughter outside the room, I did it for selfish reasons though, I told myself she didn't actually want comfort from me.
I walk in the room and I realize how bad it must be for the daughter. The mom was the only family she had where we lived. The mother was hooked up to all the machines, her face had shrunken and lost its normal features. She was asleep when I was there but I sat in the corner of the room and talked quietly for a second saying things that didn't matter I suppose. I left after touching her hand and kissing her forehead. I give the daughter another hug as I left but it was more of a formality because I was convinced I was being slighted by her. Another place where some how I was the important one. I looked back and she had crumpled in a chair outside the room no one else was there. I should have fucking stayed, I should have done that for her if I had loved her. But I fucking didn't. I got in my truck and tried to forget what I saw.
The next morning I got a text saying she had passed that night. The mother was such a nice women and I felt sick thinking about everything I didn't do. I called the daughter but she didn't answer, why should she. I just sent a condolence text, that's all I did. Over the next few days I try getting a hold of her, asking if I can bring food or if she just wants to talk, or even just have some one near her. She refuses everything and ignores most of it. Here again I thought I was being slighted, that she didn't appreciate me. But it wasn't that or even remotely that. She didn't trust me anymore, I wasn't there when she needed it. Why would she place any hope or comfort in a person who became more and more flaky. It all seems so obvious looking back, I wasn't protecting myself from her being unjust and mean to me, I was pushing her farther and farther when she and her mother needed me because I felt that I for some reason should be getting feedback on what I was doing. How could I not see that the idea of losing a mother dwarfed anything as stupid as a guy you had known for 6-7 years, how could I begrudge her.
I attend the funeral and something about it made me realize what I had been doing. The daughter looked perfect in a black dress and black bow with little black flats. I sat on the isle watching her. I watched her try to smile at people. I saw the sadness as she knelt at the casket for 20 min as others showed up. She walked right past me even as I stood to try and hug her in the isle. I watched her choke out a few words. As she stood up at the front it hit me. I gave her a hug at the end. And she cried more on my shoulder. I felt dirty. As I drove home, the weeks, and a few months since I see what I did. How I fucked up. That night I had a moment sitting in my driveway. I realized I was a selfish person, I realized everything I had assumed not only had to be wrong but was so terribly self serving that I caused what I had feared and blamed her for. I became flakey, and a piece of shit. I wasn't there. I turned a thing like losing a parent into a whole tragedy where I was being fucked over, how did I manage to convince myself a situation as personal and deep as this had any little thing to do with me. That night I saw how big my head was, I wasn't the good guy I thought I was through all that. I was the scumbag. I realized all this cost me her, I loved her and I consumed all the chances for her in my selfishness and idiocy. I felt more broken there than I ever have in my life. It wasn't just that I realized I lost her, I realized that I was so freaking shitty to her by not helping when she asked for help. I saw how bad of a person I was. It shattered my opinion of myself. How did I manage to do all that, I deserve this outcome really.
She came over yesterday and I made her tea for the first time in ages. She brought me a birthday card that she had since my birthday last month. She still remembered that. It felt good, I told her what I realized like I had over text before but I wanted to say in person not just over text where I can hide. Idk if it helped anything but I hope it at least showed her that I can see what an idiot I was and probably still am ( I hope that I've changed and act slower on things than I did before). An apology of sorts. It's tough when I see her. I still am in love I think I felt empty when she left and didn't sleep much, but I know I don't deserve her, and I certainly hope she doesn't think I do.
I don't know if I did a good job describing this moment. And if there are issues please forgive me I'm on my phone for this. It feels good writing this. I hope at least one person reads this and evaluates what they are doing and maybe see that the reality they are crafting isn't what is actually occurring outside of them.
Edit: | I realized I was a selfish person, and a bad guy to some one who meant the world to me which caused me to lose them. |
phyreseed | Hey.. hey, stranger on the internet.. You could be me.
I had to choose between a five thousand dollar vet bill and my sidekick of ten years. I considered selling my vehicle to pay the bill, because I had literally no savings. If I'd been able to just cut off a finger to pay the bill, I would be typing with nine fingers - not joking.
But ultimately, I couldn't cripple my family for the sake of my buddy. Instead, I gave him something that humans don't get in most places - he was with me until he decided it was time to go (progressive neurological issues).
We love our furchildren, and it hurts like hell to let them go; but the amazing part is that we become able to love other pets as a result. NONE of my new "kids" could ever replace my sidekick, or his successor - I don't love or miss them any less, and (four years on) still tear up and ache for them both.
But I have a small herd of new pets whom I adore on an equal level - and because some of them overlap, I get to see the personality traits passed through generations!
I guess the TL;DR here is that it hurts, and that's OK. It will continue to hurt, and that's OK, too. And someday you'll get adopted again by an animal, and you'll get to apply the lessons learned.
Hang in there. | Hey.. hey, stranger on the internet.. You could be me.
I had to choose between a five thousand dollar vet bill and my sidekick of ten years. I considered selling my vehicle to pay the bill, because I had literally no savings. If I'd been able to just cut off a finger to pay the bill, I would be typing with nine fingers - not joking.
But ultimately, I couldn't cripple my family for the sake of my buddy. Instead, I gave him something that humans don't get in most places - he was with me until he decided it was time to go (progressive neurological issues).
We love our furchildren, and it hurts like hell to let them go; but the amazing part is that we become able to love other pets as a result. NONE of my new "kids" could ever replace my sidekick, or his successor - I don't love or miss them any less, and (four years on) still tear up and ache for them both.
But I have a small herd of new pets whom I adore on an equal level - and because some of them overlap, I get to see the personality traits passed through generations!
I guess the TL;DR here is that it hurts, and that's OK. It will continue to hurt, and that's OK, too. And someday you'll get adopted again by an animal, and you'll get to apply the lessons learned.
Hang in there.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqnsel | Hey.. hey, stranger on the internet.. You could be me.
I had to choose between a five thousand dollar vet bill and my sidekick of ten years. I considered selling my vehicle to pay the bill, because I had literally no savings. If I'd been able to just cut off a finger to pay the bill, I would be typing with nine fingers - not joking.
But ultimately, I couldn't cripple my family for the sake of my buddy. Instead, I gave him something that humans don't get in most places - he was with me until he decided it was time to go (progressive neurological issues).
We love our furchildren, and it hurts like hell to let them go; but the amazing part is that we become able to love other pets as a result. NONE of my new "kids" could ever replace my sidekick, or his successor - I don't love or miss them any less, and (four years on) still tear up and ache for them both.
But I have a small herd of new pets whom I adore on an equal level - and because some of them overlap, I get to see the personality traits passed through generations!
I guess the | here is that it hurts, and that's OK. It will continue to hurt, and that's OK, too. And someday you'll get adopted again by an animal, and you'll get to apply the lessons learned.
Hang in there. |
angelbreaker07 | I have been keeping this for so long, with any real kind of detail...
The day I walked away from the only person I ever loved in the sense that I view love. The only person to love me regardless of my PTSD, my depression, my ADD. They loved me in spite of anorexia, and suicidal thoughts, and self-harm. They brought me back from the edge, and they knew how to touch me *just so* to calm me, and knew how to deal with the fact that I have trouble processing emotions.
They were the only person to love me as broken as I am, and not for the well put together facade I retain publicly. I was a coward. They had just come back from a trip, and I was hurt. There were feelings involved, and in my head, I heard a scream that said the past would be the future again, that I could not, would not, matter enough to be worth the hurt and pain and irritation I create.
Right after that, I distracted myself with a relationship where I was not happy. Content, maybe, but not happy. Not challenged, not pushed, not better. And I was too much the coward to undo my mistake; ***EVEN KNOWING IN MY HEAD AND HEART THAT IT WAS ONE.***
I had a quiet revelation one therapy session, that I did not disclose to my therapist, save in passing...**I am the cause of so much of their heartbreak, the shit situations that they ended up in, and the awful, awful scenarios in college.** If I had been a better friend, a better partner, and a better person, they would not have been so hurt. They would have been happy, made better, given the chance to grow and succeed. Rather, I am a weight on many of the people around me, and those who see me in the dark, at midnight, as I am, typically leave. It is too dark, too awful, too heavy.
The kicker? They're my best friend. And I pushed for, fought for, their current relationship. They're happy, and they moved half a country away. They're successful, and I am genuinely happy. But not a day goes by when missing them isn't visceral, isn't a gutpunch when I wake from sleep, and smell them on the morning air, a cruel tease my heart and head play. Not a day goes by when missing them is not a literal physical ache, when something reminds me of them, and there's nothing I can do. They are busy, they are loved and wanted, and needed. They left too. I made this.
I run and run and run, always seeking a distraction. A project, a poem, a book, work most often. Meaningless friendships and investing a broken heart to hide the hurt...even calling said meaningless relations by their name when tired, when drunk.
I need them. But they don't, won't, **can't** need me.
You wanted what broke my heart? Learning years later that everything I am put the one person I truly loved's well-being at risk. The moment that shattered me? Hearing their voice, and hearing it again as I fought for their now relationship, because they deserve to be loved, and safe, and wanted, and needed. They deserve to come first every time, no compromise.
And I am not good enough to be that. Not looking honestly in my heart.
My last relationship? That person was head-over-heels for me. Near obsessed. Even they left.
tl;dr: My best friend is my secret proof that my private persona, my real self, is toxic and unsafe and not worth loving. | I have been keeping this for so long, with any real kind of detail...
The day I walked away from the only person I ever loved in the sense that I view love. The only person to love me regardless of my PTSD, my depression, my ADD. They loved me in spite of anorexia, and suicidal thoughts, and self-harm. They brought me back from the edge, and they knew how to touch me just so to calm me, and knew how to deal with the fact that I have trouble processing emotions.
They were the only person to love me as broken as I am, and not for the well put together facade I retain publicly. I was a coward. They had just come back from a trip, and I was hurt. There were feelings involved, and in my head, I heard a scream that said the past would be the future again, that I could not, would not, matter enough to be worth the hurt and pain and irritation I create.
Right after that, I distracted myself with a relationship where I was not happy. Content, maybe, but not happy. Not challenged, not pushed, not better. And I was too much the coward to undo my mistake; EVEN KNOWING IN MY HEAD AND HEART THAT IT WAS ONE.
I had a quiet revelation one therapy session, that I did not disclose to my therapist, save in passing... I am the cause of so much of their heartbreak, the shit situations that they ended up in, and the awful, awful scenarios in college. If I had been a better friend, a better partner, and a better person, they would not have been so hurt. They would have been happy, made better, given the chance to grow and succeed. Rather, I am a weight on many of the people around me, and those who see me in the dark, at midnight, as I am, typically leave. It is too dark, too awful, too heavy.
The kicker? They're my best friend. And I pushed for, fought for, their current relationship. They're happy, and they moved half a country away. They're successful, and I am genuinely happy. But not a day goes by when missing them isn't visceral, isn't a gutpunch when I wake from sleep, and smell them on the morning air, a cruel tease my heart and head play. Not a day goes by when missing them is not a literal physical ache, when something reminds me of them, and there's nothing I can do. They are busy, they are loved and wanted, and needed. They left too. I made this.
I run and run and run, always seeking a distraction. A project, a poem, a book, work most often. Meaningless friendships and investing a broken heart to hide the hurt...even calling said meaningless relations by their name when tired, when drunk.
I need them. But they don't, won't, can't need me.
You wanted what broke my heart? Learning years later that everything I am put the one person I truly loved's well-being at risk. The moment that shattered me? Hearing their voice, and hearing it again as I fought for their now relationship, because they deserve to be loved, and safe, and wanted, and needed. They deserve to come first every time, no compromise.
And I am not good enough to be that. Not looking honestly in my heart.
My last relationship? That person was head-over-heels for me. Near obsessed. Even they left.
tl;dr: My best friend is my secret proof that my private persona, my real self, is toxic and unsafe and not worth loving.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdsca81 | I have been keeping this for so long, with any real kind of detail...
The day I walked away from the only person I ever loved in the sense that I view love. The only person to love me regardless of my PTSD, my depression, my ADD. They loved me in spite of anorexia, and suicidal thoughts, and self-harm. They brought me back from the edge, and they knew how to touch me just so to calm me, and knew how to deal with the fact that I have trouble processing emotions.
They were the only person to love me as broken as I am, and not for the well put together facade I retain publicly. I was a coward. They had just come back from a trip, and I was hurt. There were feelings involved, and in my head, I heard a scream that said the past would be the future again, that I could not, would not, matter enough to be worth the hurt and pain and irritation I create.
Right after that, I distracted myself with a relationship where I was not happy. Content, maybe, but not happy. Not challenged, not pushed, not better. And I was too much the coward to undo my mistake; EVEN KNOWING IN MY HEAD AND HEART THAT IT WAS ONE.
I had a quiet revelation one therapy session, that I did not disclose to my therapist, save in passing... I am the cause of so much of their heartbreak, the shit situations that they ended up in, and the awful, awful scenarios in college. If I had been a better friend, a better partner, and a better person, they would not have been so hurt. They would have been happy, made better, given the chance to grow and succeed. Rather, I am a weight on many of the people around me, and those who see me in the dark, at midnight, as I am, typically leave. It is too dark, too awful, too heavy.
The kicker? They're my best friend. And I pushed for, fought for, their current relationship. They're happy, and they moved half a country away. They're successful, and I am genuinely happy. But not a day goes by when missing them isn't visceral, isn't a gutpunch when I wake from sleep, and smell them on the morning air, a cruel tease my heart and head play. Not a day goes by when missing them is not a literal physical ache, when something reminds me of them, and there's nothing I can do. They are busy, they are loved and wanted, and needed. They left too. I made this.
I run and run and run, always seeking a distraction. A project, a poem, a book, work most often. Meaningless friendships and investing a broken heart to hide the hurt...even calling said meaningless relations by their name when tired, when drunk.
I need them. But they don't, won't, can't need me.
You wanted what broke my heart? Learning years later that everything I am put the one person I truly loved's well-being at risk. The moment that shattered me? Hearing their voice, and hearing it again as I fought for their now relationship, because they deserve to be loved, and safe, and wanted, and needed. They deserve to come first every time, no compromise.
And I am not good enough to be that. Not looking honestly in my heart.
My last relationship? That person was head-over-heels for me. Near obsessed. Even they left. | My best friend is my secret proof that my private persona, my real self, is toxic and unsafe and not worth loving. |
Paedin | A bit late to the party, but I always feel that this story is worth telling:
I (a male) was sitting at home with my girlfriend one night and an old friend showed up. This old friend has been a friend of my family for fifteen years, on account of my mother having been good friends with her uncle. I opened the door and she had this look on her face like her entire world had been destroyed. "What's wrong?" I asked. She told me her uncle had died. I invited her in and we went into my mother's bedroom (I lived with my mom at the time and we've never really been living room people) and me, my mom, and our old friend of the family talked about her uncle and how much he meant to us. We were only in there for twenty minutes or so while my girlfriend waited in my bedroom. To kill time my girlfriend called her mom and the topic naturally went to, "I wonder what's going on in there?" Well, apparently, my girlfriend's mother had been filling her head with things like; maybe I'm cheating on her or trying to start something of a sexual nature with my old friend. So, my girlfriend's mother came to pick her up. When I got out of the bedroom with my old friend and said goodbye, I was surprised to see that my girlfriend had left. I called her, found out where she was, and left to pick her up. When I got to her mother's house, her mother was very accusatory. I explained that my friend died and that I was consoling his niece. I remember one thing that she said very specifically, and I'll NEVER forget it. She said, "Your friend died? Is that the new excuse?" implying that I was using the death of one of my best and oldest friends to sleep with a friend of the family. She knew that this was in my mom's bedroom too, as my girlfriend, upon being asked, had explained the situation to her. So... if I WERE having sex or whatever with this person, it would have had to have been in the presence of my mom.
**tl;dr: My girlfriend's mom said that I had been using the death of a friend as an excuse to cheat while my mom watched.** | A bit late to the party, but I always feel that this story is worth telling:
I (a male) was sitting at home with my girlfriend one night and an old friend showed up. This old friend has been a friend of my family for fifteen years, on account of my mother having been good friends with her uncle. I opened the door and she had this look on her face like her entire world had been destroyed. "What's wrong?" I asked. She told me her uncle had died. I invited her in and we went into my mother's bedroom (I lived with my mom at the time and we've never really been living room people) and me, my mom, and our old friend of the family talked about her uncle and how much he meant to us. We were only in there for twenty minutes or so while my girlfriend waited in my bedroom. To kill time my girlfriend called her mom and the topic naturally went to, "I wonder what's going on in there?" Well, apparently, my girlfriend's mother had been filling her head with things like; maybe I'm cheating on her or trying to start something of a sexual nature with my old friend. So, my girlfriend's mother came to pick her up. When I got out of the bedroom with my old friend and said goodbye, I was surprised to see that my girlfriend had left. I called her, found out where she was, and left to pick her up. When I got to her mother's house, her mother was very accusatory. I explained that my friend died and that I was consoling his niece. I remember one thing that she said very specifically, and I'll NEVER forget it. She said, "Your friend died? Is that the new excuse?" implying that I was using the death of one of my best and oldest friends to sleep with a friend of the family. She knew that this was in my mom's bedroom too, as my girlfriend, upon being asked, had explained the situation to her. So... if I WERE having sex or whatever with this person, it would have had to have been in the presence of my mom.
tl;dr: My girlfriend's mom said that I had been using the death of a friend as an excuse to cheat while my mom watched.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqjklr | A bit late to the party, but I always feel that this story is worth telling:
I (a male) was sitting at home with my girlfriend one night and an old friend showed up. This old friend has been a friend of my family for fifteen years, on account of my mother having been good friends with her uncle. I opened the door and she had this look on her face like her entire world had been destroyed. "What's wrong?" I asked. She told me her uncle had died. I invited her in and we went into my mother's bedroom (I lived with my mom at the time and we've never really been living room people) and me, my mom, and our old friend of the family talked about her uncle and how much he meant to us. We were only in there for twenty minutes or so while my girlfriend waited in my bedroom. To kill time my girlfriend called her mom and the topic naturally went to, "I wonder what's going on in there?" Well, apparently, my girlfriend's mother had been filling her head with things like; maybe I'm cheating on her or trying to start something of a sexual nature with my old friend. So, my girlfriend's mother came to pick her up. When I got out of the bedroom with my old friend and said goodbye, I was surprised to see that my girlfriend had left. I called her, found out where she was, and left to pick her up. When I got to her mother's house, her mother was very accusatory. I explained that my friend died and that I was consoling his niece. I remember one thing that she said very specifically, and I'll NEVER forget it. She said, "Your friend died? Is that the new excuse?" implying that I was using the death of one of my best and oldest friends to sleep with a friend of the family. She knew that this was in my mom's bedroom too, as my girlfriend, upon being asked, had explained the situation to her. So... if I WERE having sex or whatever with this person, it would have had to have been in the presence of my mom. | My girlfriend's mom said that I had been using the death of a friend as an excuse to cheat while my mom watched. |
xspacecadetx | When my best friend,the only man I have ever truly loved,told me he hated me and never wanted to speak to me again. I know he may not have meant it,but it broke my heart and I had to run away so he would not see me bawling. After that I slowly detached from reality and now I live my life as if nothing matters. This was the man that had helped me through depression and had been my friend for a long time. I no longer have anyone to confide to,no one to make sure I am actually worth something. The only reason I have not killed myself yet is because I keep hoping one day he will contact me. I see him every day still. I can not stop imagining what it would be like I I had not have screwed everything up. I was not even this sad over my engagement being broken of with someone else or over my father dieing. He really was my whole world.
Tl;dr: broken heart over best friend | When my best friend,the only man I have ever truly loved,told me he hated me and never wanted to speak to me again. I know he may not have meant it,but it broke my heart and I had to run away so he would not see me bawling. After that I slowly detached from reality and now I live my life as if nothing matters. This was the man that had helped me through depression and had been my friend for a long time. I no longer have anyone to confide to,no one to make sure I am actually worth something. The only reason I have not killed myself yet is because I keep hoping one day he will contact me. I see him every day still. I can not stop imagining what it would be like I I had not have screwed everything up. I was not even this sad over my engagement being broken of with someone else or over my father dieing. He really was my whole world.
Tl;dr: broken heart over best friend
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqjnzb | When my best friend,the only man I have ever truly loved,told me he hated me and never wanted to speak to me again. I know he may not have meant it,but it broke my heart and I had to run away so he would not see me bawling. After that I slowly detached from reality and now I live my life as if nothing matters. This was the man that had helped me through depression and had been my friend for a long time. I no longer have anyone to confide to,no one to make sure I am actually worth something. The only reason I have not killed myself yet is because I keep hoping one day he will contact me. I see him every day still. I can not stop imagining what it would be like I I had not have screwed everything up. I was not even this sad over my engagement being broken of with someone else or over my father dieing. He really was my whole world. | broken heart over best friend |
Fryman123 | I got my first girlfriend was I was 19. You could call me a late bloomer i guess. Anyway, right around the time we started dating she was going through a rough stage of suicidal tendencies that I didn't know how to deal with. A week later one of my best friends tried to kill himself making me the only person in our group of 5 to have not done it. My GF didn't stop with her problems and it caused me to get seriously depressed. So I ended it... i realized a week later after seeing her that I may have ended it too soon so I tried to give it another shot. A couple months later I ended things again for the same problems. A month after that I realized i loved her and tried to get her back... Well she didn't trust me and broke my heart accordingly. I cried for a bit and for the next few weeks fought to get over it. I guess I'm still fighting. I don't talk to her anymore but the sting of its end still hangs over me today. I can't seem to forgive myself for breaking her heart and won't let her back in my life after she broke mine. Every time I see a girl thats beautiful or funny I don't talk to her out of that fear...the fear that I may hurt her or that she may hurt me... I'm a shy and awkward person as it was before the whole debacle occurred and while I don't see this stage of my life lasting forever, i don't see a clear end in sight.
TL;DR I broke me ex's heart, and she broke mine a while later. I can't seem to move on for fear of getting hurt again, yet can't keep living in this self created hell either. Idk what to do. | I got my first girlfriend was I was 19. You could call me a late bloomer i guess. Anyway, right around the time we started dating she was going through a rough stage of suicidal tendencies that I didn't know how to deal with. A week later one of my best friends tried to kill himself making me the only person in our group of 5 to have not done it. My GF didn't stop with her problems and it caused me to get seriously depressed. So I ended it... i realized a week later after seeing her that I may have ended it too soon so I tried to give it another shot. A couple months later I ended things again for the same problems. A month after that I realized i loved her and tried to get her back... Well she didn't trust me and broke my heart accordingly. I cried for a bit and for the next few weeks fought to get over it. I guess I'm still fighting. I don't talk to her anymore but the sting of its end still hangs over me today. I can't seem to forgive myself for breaking her heart and won't let her back in my life after she broke mine. Every time I see a girl thats beautiful or funny I don't talk to her out of that fear...the fear that I may hurt her or that she may hurt me... I'm a shy and awkward person as it was before the whole debacle occurred and while I don't see this stage of my life lasting forever, i don't see a clear end in sight.
TL;DR I broke me ex's heart, and she broke mine a while later. I can't seem to move on for fear of getting hurt again, yet can't keep living in this self created hell either. Idk what to do.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqjwej | I got my first girlfriend was I was 19. You could call me a late bloomer i guess. Anyway, right around the time we started dating she was going through a rough stage of suicidal tendencies that I didn't know how to deal with. A week later one of my best friends tried to kill himself making me the only person in our group of 5 to have not done it. My GF didn't stop with her problems and it caused me to get seriously depressed. So I ended it... i realized a week later after seeing her that I may have ended it too soon so I tried to give it another shot. A couple months later I ended things again for the same problems. A month after that I realized i loved her and tried to get her back... Well she didn't trust me and broke my heart accordingly. I cried for a bit and for the next few weeks fought to get over it. I guess I'm still fighting. I don't talk to her anymore but the sting of its end still hangs over me today. I can't seem to forgive myself for breaking her heart and won't let her back in my life after she broke mine. Every time I see a girl thats beautiful or funny I don't talk to her out of that fear...the fear that I may hurt her or that she may hurt me... I'm a shy and awkward person as it was before the whole debacle occurred and while I don't see this stage of my life lasting forever, i don't see a clear end in sight. | I broke me ex's heart, and she broke mine a while later. I can't seem to move on for fear of getting hurt again, yet can't keep living in this self created hell either. Idk what to do. |
thebeshadowed | It happened about 9 months ago. I got a call from the mother of my then girlfriend asking if I was at home. I lived with my then girlfriend, we moved there about 6 months ago. Redid it entirely and decided to make it completely us. I told her I was home, but she sounded slightly in distress. Basically, I needed to stay put.
Long story short, my ex had admitted to her mom that she had fallen in love with someone else and kind-of didn't knew what to do with me. It broke my heart. I was still madly in love with her and had recently planned the trip to Disney world because she had always wanted to go, but I had to save up from our trip to London. The fact that she had already fallen for someone else made me feel 1. Not good enough 2. Cheated on and 3. Blind. How could I not have seen this happen? If this could've happened without me noticing, was I actually involved in our relationship?
What really did it for me was, she was my 2nd GF and I had some serious trust issues after my first because she cheated on me two times in one week time as I had my finals and thus not enough time for her. Just as I felt comfortable letting her do whatever she wanted and stop being so stressed out about stuff, this hits me in the face.
Never have I been so madly in love so I'll just say it broke me in many ways. But I'm getting some joy out of life again atleast.
tl;dr: Trust-issues, Girlfriend left me for someone else, I'll be fine. | It happened about 9 months ago. I got a call from the mother of my then girlfriend asking if I was at home. I lived with my then girlfriend, we moved there about 6 months ago. Redid it entirely and decided to make it completely us. I told her I was home, but she sounded slightly in distress. Basically, I needed to stay put.
Long story short, my ex had admitted to her mom that she had fallen in love with someone else and kind-of didn't knew what to do with me. It broke my heart. I was still madly in love with her and had recently planned the trip to Disney world because she had always wanted to go, but I had to save up from our trip to London. The fact that she had already fallen for someone else made me feel 1. Not good enough 2. Cheated on and 3. Blind. How could I not have seen this happen? If this could've happened without me noticing, was I actually involved in our relationship?
What really did it for me was, she was my 2nd GF and I had some serious trust issues after my first because she cheated on me two times in one week time as I had my finals and thus not enough time for her. Just as I felt comfortable letting her do whatever she wanted and stop being so stressed out about stuff, this hits me in the face.
Never have I been so madly in love so I'll just say it broke me in many ways. But I'm getting some joy out of life again atleast.
tl;dr: Trust-issues, Girlfriend left me for someone else, I'll be fine.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqkb42 | It happened about 9 months ago. I got a call from the mother of my then girlfriend asking if I was at home. I lived with my then girlfriend, we moved there about 6 months ago. Redid it entirely and decided to make it completely us. I told her I was home, but she sounded slightly in distress. Basically, I needed to stay put.
Long story short, my ex had admitted to her mom that she had fallen in love with someone else and kind-of didn't knew what to do with me. It broke my heart. I was still madly in love with her and had recently planned the trip to Disney world because she had always wanted to go, but I had to save up from our trip to London. The fact that she had already fallen for someone else made me feel 1. Not good enough 2. Cheated on and 3. Blind. How could I not have seen this happen? If this could've happened without me noticing, was I actually involved in our relationship?
What really did it for me was, she was my 2nd GF and I had some serious trust issues after my first because she cheated on me two times in one week time as I had my finals and thus not enough time for her. Just as I felt comfortable letting her do whatever she wanted and stop being so stressed out about stuff, this hits me in the face.
Never have I been so madly in love so I'll just say it broke me in many ways. But I'm getting some joy out of life again atleast. | Trust-issues, Girlfriend left me for someone else, I'll be fine. |
zeromig | All of 2006. My fiancee at the time tried to commit suicide. The drama and complications surrounding it lead to us taking some time apart, and my college friend and his fiancee-- whose house we were sharing-- asking me to move out (they had 14 cats, and I had one dog, whom they never liked; they wanted the house to themselves to let their cats roam freely). I moved back in with my mother, who lived about a half-hour away.
Despite my moving, my fiancee and I tried to patch things up and work things through. She'd grown close to a friend I played cards with, whom she confided in, and, though wary of the circumstances, I wanted her to be among friends, during the times that I couldn't be there. One night, we were all playing poker, and I dropped a card under the table. I reach down to pick it up, and see them playing footsies with each other. After ten agonizing minutes of enduring this and changing angles to make sure of what I was seeing, I put down my cards and broke his nose in one punch.
I moved out, and lost some of my very best friends, both for good. She pleaded for me to return over the ensuing couple months or so, and eventually, told me she had a miscarriage. I had never even known; she had always had irregular periods, so she hadn't known herself till after I moved out. I had no idea if the baby was mine, but, at the time, how I wished it was. Her parents were furious, though, and kept calling my mother's house, and threatening to sue me for the loss of the baby, and for "psychological damage" inflicted on my ex-fiancee.
It was too much for me. I fled the country, for a change of scenery, and haven't looked back since.
TL;DR -- lost my fiancee, lost my best friend from college, lost my home, lost my card gaming buddies, lost a baby. | All of 2006. My fiancee at the time tried to commit suicide. The drama and complications surrounding it lead to us taking some time apart, and my college friend and his fiancee-- whose house we were sharing-- asking me to move out (they had 14 cats, and I had one dog, whom they never liked; they wanted the house to themselves to let their cats roam freely). I moved back in with my mother, who lived about a half-hour away.
Despite my moving, my fiancee and I tried to patch things up and work things through. She'd grown close to a friend I played cards with, whom she confided in, and, though wary of the circumstances, I wanted her to be among friends, during the times that I couldn't be there. One night, we were all playing poker, and I dropped a card under the table. I reach down to pick it up, and see them playing footsies with each other. After ten agonizing minutes of enduring this and changing angles to make sure of what I was seeing, I put down my cards and broke his nose in one punch.
I moved out, and lost some of my very best friends, both for good. She pleaded for me to return over the ensuing couple months or so, and eventually, told me she had a miscarriage. I had never even known; she had always had irregular periods, so she hadn't known herself till after I moved out. I had no idea if the baby was mine, but, at the time, how I wished it was. Her parents were furious, though, and kept calling my mother's house, and threatening to sue me for the loss of the baby, and for "psychological damage" inflicted on my ex-fiancee.
It was too much for me. I fled the country, for a change of scenery, and haven't looked back since.
TL;DR -- lost my fiancee, lost my best friend from college, lost my home, lost my card gaming buddies, lost a baby.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqkkjt | All of 2006. My fiancee at the time tried to commit suicide. The drama and complications surrounding it lead to us taking some time apart, and my college friend and his fiancee-- whose house we were sharing-- asking me to move out (they had 14 cats, and I had one dog, whom they never liked; they wanted the house to themselves to let their cats roam freely). I moved back in with my mother, who lived about a half-hour away.
Despite my moving, my fiancee and I tried to patch things up and work things through. She'd grown close to a friend I played cards with, whom she confided in, and, though wary of the circumstances, I wanted her to be among friends, during the times that I couldn't be there. One night, we were all playing poker, and I dropped a card under the table. I reach down to pick it up, and see them playing footsies with each other. After ten agonizing minutes of enduring this and changing angles to make sure of what I was seeing, I put down my cards and broke his nose in one punch.
I moved out, and lost some of my very best friends, both for good. She pleaded for me to return over the ensuing couple months or so, and eventually, told me she had a miscarriage. I had never even known; she had always had irregular periods, so she hadn't known herself till after I moved out. I had no idea if the baby was mine, but, at the time, how I wished it was. Her parents were furious, though, and kept calling my mother's house, and threatening to sue me for the loss of the baby, and for "psychological damage" inflicted on my ex-fiancee.
It was too much for me. I fled the country, for a change of scenery, and haven't looked back since. | lost my fiancee, lost my best friend from college, lost my home, lost my card gaming buddies, lost a baby. |
Shanaki | This is going to get buried, but fuck it.
I met a girl in an online clan. There were people in the clan that I played Call of Duty with, and then they started getting into League of Legends.
That's when I met this girl. We spoke a lot over team speak, had fun playing together, and I genuinely liked her. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend after knowing her for about a month and she said yes.
We played games together, watched the same movies together over the phone. I eventually fell for her. I was... Happy.
Eventually, I told her I wanted to come see her, and have a vacation down where she lived. We was excited. We both bought eachother something. I bought her a Ruby ring, she bought me a lighter case that said my name and "I love you" on it.
I had 2 grand saved up for the trip, including the cost for the plane ticket. I stayed there for a week, and we did a lot of stuff together.
One of the nights we started getting frisky with eachother, and she just stopped suddenly, saying she couldn't continue. I could understand this a bit, as I was a virgin and holding out until I found the girl I wanted to marry. Kind of stupid now that I look back on it, but it just was how I felt. I wanted to share a special moment with someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
So, nothing happened, but there was something she said that got to me. I forget what it was, but it kept me up all night.
We had a talk that morning, and I was a bit out of it with the lack of sleep, but she broke up with me. I went into tears, realizing that I had to stay there for a full 2 days, heartbroken.
I tried to make things work out between us for those two days, but to no avail, I left broken hearted, and lost.
Fast forward to last year. We started talking again full time like we use to. I had a girlfriend, but that relationship was rocky at best. She had a lot of issues, and would talk to her now boyfriend constantly on WoW more than she would say to me throughout the day.
I got the hints, and ended up breaking up with her around thanksgiving.
Fast forward a couple of months and me and my ex are talking still, and she brings up the idea of us trying to see if things can work again.
I was still heads over heels for her. I wanted to marry the girl when we were together... Those feelings stuck.
So we planned for it. I bought her a ticket to come out and see me, and I would support her while she was down here since she didn't have any money to do so herself.
For a month... Yes, an entire month, I payed for food, dinner, livingspace, the whole thing.
She finally got here and I was a bit of mixed feelings. A few days before she arrived, one of my good friends and coworker passed away due to an accident. I was crushed, and we went to his funeral together with my other friends.
Fast forward a bit more. I have a single solid friend left, that watches my back and I watch his. My other solid friends either left for another state, or has passed away.
He would come over some days to hang out and drink, play games, and then head out like normal.
Apparently, I was a bit jealous for some of the things she would do to him, in a very obvious way of flirting. And she would always ask when he would come over again, so I asked him if we could just hang out when she was gone, to not complicate things.
Then I noticed she was talking to someone, a lot, during the days and nights. It reminded me a lot of the ex I broke up with 2 months before she came down. One day I got fed up with it and just asked her straight out, "Are you two dating?"
At first she said no... Then she said yes after some prodding.
I was heartbroken, and furious. Was this a game to her? I spent all of this money to send her down and her living style, just to see if we could work out again, right? Why is she suddenly dating this guy? It was ridiculous.
After a lot of anger and tears, I kicked her out of the house out of spite, I was pissed off. I called her back 20 minutes later feeling bad though, as she had no where to go. I told her she would sleep on the livingroom couch for now on.
She started apologizing to me, and told me she broke up with him, but knew this wasn't going to change the circumstances of her sleeping on the couch, but some weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
There's one thing I'd like to add to all of this. I hate liars in a relationship. There's no point in one if you must lie to your SO over important talks.
A week goes by and I come home one night and she's not there. I brought her home dinner so I was a bit upset that she didn't tell me she'd be out.
I get on and notice she left Skype online. (She would use my computer to play games while I was at work.) And I know I shouldn't have, but I had that same feeling that I had when I asked her if she was dating him, so I looked at her chat logs with the guy just to be cautious.
And, well, sure enough I saw some things I didn't want to see. I didn't break too far into her privacy, just skimmed lines until I found "Alright, he's back, I can't talk now."
It was obvious to me, she's still dating this guy, and has been lying to me.
I lost it, I was at my wits end. I called her up and told her to come collect her things.
She did, and was yelling at me as if I were the bad guy... I lost control and yelled back.
The next day, I noticed she stole some of my items. My toker, and my charger for my e- cigs.
Kind of pissed me off that she would do something so low, but there were two other things that I noticed as well. She left her phone charger, and she logged off Skype on my computer before leaving. This have me a couple ideas. First, I took her phone charger and hid it in my closet in a CD case, and was going to use it to get my items back.
I also had a feeling about the Skype thing... She either logged out because I invaded her privacy, or she was trying to hide something else.
To make this part short, I downloaded a program to grab the chat logs she had on my computer. Again, in short, she was cyber-sexing 7 different guys while I was busting my ass at work to bring food home for her. I was disgusted.
I told her I wanted my items in exchange for her charger, and she wouldn't get it back unless I got my items back. One day, while I was taking a nap, she busted into my room out of random, took something off my bed and threw it across the room.
Just waking up I had no idea what was going on. I grabbed her by the arm and yelled, "What the fuck are you doing?"
She told me to let go of her, and pulled her arm away as she started tearing through my room. Throwing things all over the place, not caring if she broke anything. She actually broke my computers headset in this process.
I started calling non-emergency, and she eventually left, leaving my room a mess.
After she finally got back home, she told everyone that I abused her. She said that I choked her and pinned her up against a wall.
So, it went from heartbreak to disgust pretty quickly. I also found out when I went to Florida to see her, she slept with some guy while I was there... So, yeah. I called her a whore and told her to never come back again, and to never contact me again.
I threw away the lighter case right after.
TL;DR
Bitches be cray cray.
| This is going to get buried, but fuck it.
I met a girl in an online clan. There were people in the clan that I played Call of Duty with, and then they started getting into League of Legends.
That's when I met this girl. We spoke a lot over team speak, had fun playing together, and I genuinely liked her. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend after knowing her for about a month and she said yes.
We played games together, watched the same movies together over the phone. I eventually fell for her. I was... Happy.
Eventually, I told her I wanted to come see her, and have a vacation down where she lived. We was excited. We both bought eachother something. I bought her a Ruby ring, she bought me a lighter case that said my name and "I love you" on it.
I had 2 grand saved up for the trip, including the cost for the plane ticket. I stayed there for a week, and we did a lot of stuff together.
One of the nights we started getting frisky with eachother, and she just stopped suddenly, saying she couldn't continue. I could understand this a bit, as I was a virgin and holding out until I found the girl I wanted to marry. Kind of stupid now that I look back on it, but it just was how I felt. I wanted to share a special moment with someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
So, nothing happened, but there was something she said that got to me. I forget what it was, but it kept me up all night.
We had a talk that morning, and I was a bit out of it with the lack of sleep, but she broke up with me. I went into tears, realizing that I had to stay there for a full 2 days, heartbroken.
I tried to make things work out between us for those two days, but to no avail, I left broken hearted, and lost.
Fast forward to last year. We started talking again full time like we use to. I had a girlfriend, but that relationship was rocky at best. She had a lot of issues, and would talk to her now boyfriend constantly on WoW more than she would say to me throughout the day.
I got the hints, and ended up breaking up with her around thanksgiving.
Fast forward a couple of months and me and my ex are talking still, and she brings up the idea of us trying to see if things can work again.
I was still heads over heels for her. I wanted to marry the girl when we were together... Those feelings stuck.
So we planned for it. I bought her a ticket to come out and see me, and I would support her while she was down here since she didn't have any money to do so herself.
For a month... Yes, an entire month, I payed for food, dinner, livingspace, the whole thing.
She finally got here and I was a bit of mixed feelings. A few days before she arrived, one of my good friends and coworker passed away due to an accident. I was crushed, and we went to his funeral together with my other friends.
Fast forward a bit more. I have a single solid friend left, that watches my back and I watch his. My other solid friends either left for another state, or has passed away.
He would come over some days to hang out and drink, play games, and then head out like normal.
Apparently, I was a bit jealous for some of the things she would do to him, in a very obvious way of flirting. And she would always ask when he would come over again, so I asked him if we could just hang out when she was gone, to not complicate things.
Then I noticed she was talking to someone, a lot, during the days and nights. It reminded me a lot of the ex I broke up with 2 months before she came down. One day I got fed up with it and just asked her straight out, "Are you two dating?"
At first she said no... Then she said yes after some prodding.
I was heartbroken, and furious. Was this a game to her? I spent all of this money to send her down and her living style, just to see if we could work out again, right? Why is she suddenly dating this guy? It was ridiculous.
After a lot of anger and tears, I kicked her out of the house out of spite, I was pissed off. I called her back 20 minutes later feeling bad though, as she had no where to go. I told her she would sleep on the livingroom couch for now on.
She started apologizing to me, and told me she broke up with him, but knew this wasn't going to change the circumstances of her sleeping on the couch, but some weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
There's one thing I'd like to add to all of this. I hate liars in a relationship. There's no point in one if you must lie to your SO over important talks.
A week goes by and I come home one night and she's not there. I brought her home dinner so I was a bit upset that she didn't tell me she'd be out.
I get on and notice she left Skype online. (She would use my computer to play games while I was at work.) And I know I shouldn't have, but I had that same feeling that I had when I asked her if she was dating him, so I looked at her chat logs with the guy just to be cautious.
And, well, sure enough I saw some things I didn't want to see. I didn't break too far into her privacy, just skimmed lines until I found "Alright, he's back, I can't talk now."
It was obvious to me, she's still dating this guy, and has been lying to me.
I lost it, I was at my wits end. I called her up and told her to come collect her things.
She did, and was yelling at me as if I were the bad guy... I lost control and yelled back.
The next day, I noticed she stole some of my items. My toker, and my charger for my e- cigs.
Kind of pissed me off that she would do something so low, but there were two other things that I noticed as well. She left her phone charger, and she logged off Skype on my computer before leaving. This have me a couple ideas. First, I took her phone charger and hid it in my closet in a CD case, and was going to use it to get my items back.
I also had a feeling about the Skype thing... She either logged out because I invaded her privacy, or she was trying to hide something else.
To make this part short, I downloaded a program to grab the chat logs she had on my computer. Again, in short, she was cyber-sexing 7 different guys while I was busting my ass at work to bring food home for her. I was disgusted.
I told her I wanted my items in exchange for her charger, and she wouldn't get it back unless I got my items back. One day, while I was taking a nap, she busted into my room out of random, took something off my bed and threw it across the room.
Just waking up I had no idea what was going on. I grabbed her by the arm and yelled, "What the fuck are you doing?"
She told me to let go of her, and pulled her arm away as she started tearing through my room. Throwing things all over the place, not caring if she broke anything. She actually broke my computers headset in this process.
I started calling non-emergency, and she eventually left, leaving my room a mess.
After she finally got back home, she told everyone that I abused her. She said that I choked her and pinned her up against a wall.
So, it went from heartbreak to disgust pretty quickly. I also found out when I went to Florida to see her, she slept with some guy while I was there... So, yeah. I called her a whore and told her to never come back again, and to never contact me again.
I threw away the lighter case right after.
TL;DR
Bitches be cray cray.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqksfj | This is going to get buried, but fuck it.
I met a girl in an online clan. There were people in the clan that I played Call of Duty with, and then they started getting into League of Legends.
That's when I met this girl. We spoke a lot over team speak, had fun playing together, and I genuinely liked her. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend after knowing her for about a month and she said yes.
We played games together, watched the same movies together over the phone. I eventually fell for her. I was... Happy.
Eventually, I told her I wanted to come see her, and have a vacation down where she lived. We was excited. We both bought eachother something. I bought her a Ruby ring, she bought me a lighter case that said my name and "I love you" on it.
I had 2 grand saved up for the trip, including the cost for the plane ticket. I stayed there for a week, and we did a lot of stuff together.
One of the nights we started getting frisky with eachother, and she just stopped suddenly, saying she couldn't continue. I could understand this a bit, as I was a virgin and holding out until I found the girl I wanted to marry. Kind of stupid now that I look back on it, but it just was how I felt. I wanted to share a special moment with someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
So, nothing happened, but there was something she said that got to me. I forget what it was, but it kept me up all night.
We had a talk that morning, and I was a bit out of it with the lack of sleep, but she broke up with me. I went into tears, realizing that I had to stay there for a full 2 days, heartbroken.
I tried to make things work out between us for those two days, but to no avail, I left broken hearted, and lost.
Fast forward to last year. We started talking again full time like we use to. I had a girlfriend, but that relationship was rocky at best. She had a lot of issues, and would talk to her now boyfriend constantly on WoW more than she would say to me throughout the day.
I got the hints, and ended up breaking up with her around thanksgiving.
Fast forward a couple of months and me and my ex are talking still, and she brings up the idea of us trying to see if things can work again.
I was still heads over heels for her. I wanted to marry the girl when we were together... Those feelings stuck.
So we planned for it. I bought her a ticket to come out and see me, and I would support her while she was down here since she didn't have any money to do so herself.
For a month... Yes, an entire month, I payed for food, dinner, livingspace, the whole thing.
She finally got here and I was a bit of mixed feelings. A few days before she arrived, one of my good friends and coworker passed away due to an accident. I was crushed, and we went to his funeral together with my other friends.
Fast forward a bit more. I have a single solid friend left, that watches my back and I watch his. My other solid friends either left for another state, or has passed away.
He would come over some days to hang out and drink, play games, and then head out like normal.
Apparently, I was a bit jealous for some of the things she would do to him, in a very obvious way of flirting. And she would always ask when he would come over again, so I asked him if we could just hang out when she was gone, to not complicate things.
Then I noticed she was talking to someone, a lot, during the days and nights. It reminded me a lot of the ex I broke up with 2 months before she came down. One day I got fed up with it and just asked her straight out, "Are you two dating?"
At first she said no... Then she said yes after some prodding.
I was heartbroken, and furious. Was this a game to her? I spent all of this money to send her down and her living style, just to see if we could work out again, right? Why is she suddenly dating this guy? It was ridiculous.
After a lot of anger and tears, I kicked her out of the house out of spite, I was pissed off. I called her back 20 minutes later feeling bad though, as she had no where to go. I told her she would sleep on the livingroom couch for now on.
She started apologizing to me, and told me she broke up with him, but knew this wasn't going to change the circumstances of her sleeping on the couch, but some weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
There's one thing I'd like to add to all of this. I hate liars in a relationship. There's no point in one if you must lie to your SO over important talks.
A week goes by and I come home one night and she's not there. I brought her home dinner so I was a bit upset that she didn't tell me she'd be out.
I get on and notice she left Skype online. (She would use my computer to play games while I was at work.) And I know I shouldn't have, but I had that same feeling that I had when I asked her if she was dating him, so I looked at her chat logs with the guy just to be cautious.
And, well, sure enough I saw some things I didn't want to see. I didn't break too far into her privacy, just skimmed lines until I found "Alright, he's back, I can't talk now."
It was obvious to me, she's still dating this guy, and has been lying to me.
I lost it, I was at my wits end. I called her up and told her to come collect her things.
She did, and was yelling at me as if I were the bad guy... I lost control and yelled back.
The next day, I noticed she stole some of my items. My toker, and my charger for my e- cigs.
Kind of pissed me off that she would do something so low, but there were two other things that I noticed as well. She left her phone charger, and she logged off Skype on my computer before leaving. This have me a couple ideas. First, I took her phone charger and hid it in my closet in a CD case, and was going to use it to get my items back.
I also had a feeling about the Skype thing... She either logged out because I invaded her privacy, or she was trying to hide something else.
To make this part short, I downloaded a program to grab the chat logs she had on my computer. Again, in short, she was cyber-sexing 7 different guys while I was busting my ass at work to bring food home for her. I was disgusted.
I told her I wanted my items in exchange for her charger, and she wouldn't get it back unless I got my items back. One day, while I was taking a nap, she busted into my room out of random, took something off my bed and threw it across the room.
Just waking up I had no idea what was going on. I grabbed her by the arm and yelled, "What the fuck are you doing?"
She told me to let go of her, and pulled her arm away as she started tearing through my room. Throwing things all over the place, not caring if she broke anything. She actually broke my computers headset in this process.
I started calling non-emergency, and she eventually left, leaving my room a mess.
After she finally got back home, she told everyone that I abused her. She said that I choked her and pinned her up against a wall.
So, it went from heartbreak to disgust pretty quickly. I also found out when I went to Florida to see her, she slept with some guy while I was there... So, yeah. I called her a whore and told her to never come back again, and to never contact me again.
I threw away the lighter case right after. | Bitches be cray cray. |
youhavebdsm | My girlfriend recently told me about a guy whose parents wouldn't accept that he was gay; so they forced him into torture to try and 'fix' his sexual preference.
Distraught, he got married and had kids to appease them.
The kids are now subject to projection and transference; and subsequent substance abuse.
These people rationalize eugenics and other propaganda in order to justify violent physical and psychological abuse to themselves and their brainwashed cult.
TL;DR this family is forcing their family member into '[conversion therapy]( (torture and suffering). | My girlfriend recently told me about a guy whose parents wouldn't accept that he was gay; so they forced him into torture to try and 'fix' his sexual preference.
Distraught, he got married and had kids to appease them.
The kids are now subject to projection and transference; and subsequent substance abuse.
These people rationalize eugenics and other propaganda in order to justify violent physical and psychological abuse to themselves and their brainwashed cult.
TL;DR this family is forcing their family member into ' conversion therapy .
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqkwpq | My girlfriend recently told me about a guy whose parents wouldn't accept that he was gay; so they forced him into torture to try and 'fix' his sexual preference.
Distraught, he got married and had kids to appease them.
The kids are now subject to projection and transference; and subsequent substance abuse.
These people rationalize eugenics and other propaganda in order to justify violent physical and psychological abuse to themselves and their brainwashed cult. | this family is forcing their family member into ' conversion therapy . |
ta2019 | Let me tell you a story of a girl.
She was molested by her father for a very long time. He was "only trying to teach" her about sex. He showed her porn at the age of 13. She didn't even care about the differences between boys and girls. No one could know. No one knew...
Her world became a fantasy that no one and nothing could live up to. She found a boy, one who seemed caring and wonderful. Someone too good to be true. She cheated on her first boyfriend (pitchforks down folks, she's learnt her lesson) by kissing another (17 years old). The fantasy could never match reality.
Fast forward 6 months after the cheating incident. She's away at college for the very first time and another boy is interested in her. She's had a few drinks (perhaps a few too many) and agrees to go home with this new boy. They were not alone in the house, the family including two small boys, were there. The new boy, the one interested in her, well, he's very interested and doesn't want to take no for an answer. The girl feels that she must protect the young boys and no one would hear her scream other than that (the rest of the family was deaf).
Sexually assaulted and reeling from those actions she seeks comfort in the one person who could help her...her ex-boyfriend. After all, he should still care? He was a decent human being! Alas, such was not the case. She tells her first love of the actions of the other boy. She pauses, attempting to work up the courage to tell him of assault portion. He interrupts.
"Whatever you did with him, I want to do with you."
She is shattered beyond all recognition. Darkness envelops her. Caring about anyone and anything has been interrupted. And so...she reenacts her sexual assault with her former boyfriend in the hopes that it will pacify his anger. He wanted to hurt her for hurting him six months prior. He got his wish.
Few people know the truth of this.
But she is a sword that has been tested in the fires of (her personal) Hell. She has come out victorious after a long hard battle. She has and will always survive...
TL;DR - "Hey, you know what's a great idea?!" "What?" "Re-enacting all the sexual assault and abuse you've suffered in the last ten years!" | Let me tell you a story of a girl.
She was molested by her father for a very long time. He was "only trying to teach" her about sex. He showed her porn at the age of 13. She didn't even care about the differences between boys and girls. No one could know. No one knew...
Her world became a fantasy that no one and nothing could live up to. She found a boy, one who seemed caring and wonderful. Someone too good to be true. She cheated on her first boyfriend (pitchforks down folks, she's learnt her lesson) by kissing another (17 years old). The fantasy could never match reality.
Fast forward 6 months after the cheating incident. She's away at college for the very first time and another boy is interested in her. She's had a few drinks (perhaps a few too many) and agrees to go home with this new boy. They were not alone in the house, the family including two small boys, were there. The new boy, the one interested in her, well, he's very interested and doesn't want to take no for an answer. The girl feels that she must protect the young boys and no one would hear her scream other than that (the rest of the family was deaf).
Sexually assaulted and reeling from those actions she seeks comfort in the one person who could help her...her ex-boyfriend. After all, he should still care? He was a decent human being! Alas, such was not the case. She tells her first love of the actions of the other boy. She pauses, attempting to work up the courage to tell him of assault portion. He interrupts.
"Whatever you did with him, I want to do with you."
She is shattered beyond all recognition. Darkness envelops her. Caring about anyone and anything has been interrupted. And so...she reenacts her sexual assault with her former boyfriend in the hopes that it will pacify his anger. He wanted to hurt her for hurting him six months prior. He got his wish.
Few people know the truth of this.
But she is a sword that has been tested in the fires of (her personal) Hell. She has come out victorious after a long hard battle. She has and will always survive...
TL;DR - "Hey, you know what's a great idea?!" "What?" "Re-enacting all the sexual assault and abuse you've suffered in the last ten years!"
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqky2u | Let me tell you a story of a girl.
She was molested by her father for a very long time. He was "only trying to teach" her about sex. He showed her porn at the age of 13. She didn't even care about the differences between boys and girls. No one could know. No one knew...
Her world became a fantasy that no one and nothing could live up to. She found a boy, one who seemed caring and wonderful. Someone too good to be true. She cheated on her first boyfriend (pitchforks down folks, she's learnt her lesson) by kissing another (17 years old). The fantasy could never match reality.
Fast forward 6 months after the cheating incident. She's away at college for the very first time and another boy is interested in her. She's had a few drinks (perhaps a few too many) and agrees to go home with this new boy. They were not alone in the house, the family including two small boys, were there. The new boy, the one interested in her, well, he's very interested and doesn't want to take no for an answer. The girl feels that she must protect the young boys and no one would hear her scream other than that (the rest of the family was deaf).
Sexually assaulted and reeling from those actions she seeks comfort in the one person who could help her...her ex-boyfriend. After all, he should still care? He was a decent human being! Alas, such was not the case. She tells her first love of the actions of the other boy. She pauses, attempting to work up the courage to tell him of assault portion. He interrupts.
"Whatever you did with him, I want to do with you."
She is shattered beyond all recognition. Darkness envelops her. Caring about anyone and anything has been interrupted. And so...she reenacts her sexual assault with her former boyfriend in the hopes that it will pacify his anger. He wanted to hurt her for hurting him six months prior. He got his wish.
Few people know the truth of this.
But she is a sword that has been tested in the fires of (her personal) Hell. She has come out victorious after a long hard battle. She has and will always survive... | Hey, you know what's a great idea?!" "What?" "Re-enacting all the sexual assault and abuse you've suffered in the last ten years!" |
le_fez | My exgirlfriend developed a heroin habit about a year and a half into our relationship, she had gotten hurt and was prescribed percoset and got hooked and, as happens all too often, graduated to heroin. I stood by her, helped her get clean and right her ship so to speak. Her son ended up with her ex inlaws while she straightened out her life. About two months ago we made the first big step towards getting him back full time. A week after that hearing she started acting oddly and I knew she was using again. She ended up getting fired from her job then getting arrested for stealing someone's purse and apparently that was just the only thing she got caught doing but had stolen quite a bit that day. She spend a week in jail because I couldn't afford bail. she was released after her arraignment and called me for a ride, I told she she couldn't come to my house but I'd take her where she wanted to go. By the time i drove the five miles to get her she and taken a handful of xanax and I had to take to the hospital and I managed to convince them it was a suicide attempt so they would keep her.
It was then that I saw her arms, black track marks down both, my heart broke and I walked out of the hospital fully expecting that the next time I saw her would be her funeral. Her ex called, he is rehab all of the sudden, he admitted that they had been using drugs together and sleeping together all summer.
She lived but is denying that she has a problem and not trying to get into rehab. I have washed my hands of her but she still calls me, from her parents, usually to ask for money.
tl;dr never trust a junkie | My exgirlfriend developed a heroin habit about a year and a half into our relationship, she had gotten hurt and was prescribed percoset and got hooked and, as happens all too often, graduated to heroin. I stood by her, helped her get clean and right her ship so to speak. Her son ended up with her ex inlaws while she straightened out her life. About two months ago we made the first big step towards getting him back full time. A week after that hearing she started acting oddly and I knew she was using again. She ended up getting fired from her job then getting arrested for stealing someone's purse and apparently that was just the only thing she got caught doing but had stolen quite a bit that day. She spend a week in jail because I couldn't afford bail. she was released after her arraignment and called me for a ride, I told she she couldn't come to my house but I'd take her where she wanted to go. By the time i drove the five miles to get her she and taken a handful of xanax and I had to take to the hospital and I managed to convince them it was a suicide attempt so they would keep her.
It was then that I saw her arms, black track marks down both, my heart broke and I walked out of the hospital fully expecting that the next time I saw her would be her funeral. Her ex called, he is rehab all of the sudden, he admitted that they had been using drugs together and sleeping together all summer.
She lived but is denying that she has a problem and not trying to get into rehab. I have washed my hands of her but she still calls me, from her parents, usually to ask for money.
tl;dr never trust a junkie
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqkyuv | My exgirlfriend developed a heroin habit about a year and a half into our relationship, she had gotten hurt and was prescribed percoset and got hooked and, as happens all too often, graduated to heroin. I stood by her, helped her get clean and right her ship so to speak. Her son ended up with her ex inlaws while she straightened out her life. About two months ago we made the first big step towards getting him back full time. A week after that hearing she started acting oddly and I knew she was using again. She ended up getting fired from her job then getting arrested for stealing someone's purse and apparently that was just the only thing she got caught doing but had stolen quite a bit that day. She spend a week in jail because I couldn't afford bail. she was released after her arraignment and called me for a ride, I told she she couldn't come to my house but I'd take her where she wanted to go. By the time i drove the five miles to get her she and taken a handful of xanax and I had to take to the hospital and I managed to convince them it was a suicide attempt so they would keep her.
It was then that I saw her arms, black track marks down both, my heart broke and I walked out of the hospital fully expecting that the next time I saw her would be her funeral. Her ex called, he is rehab all of the sudden, he admitted that they had been using drugs together and sleeping together all summer.
She lived but is denying that she has a problem and not trying to get into rehab. I have washed my hands of her but she still calls me, from her parents, usually to ask for money. | never trust a junkie |
cam18_2000 | If it makes you feel better my best friend of 11 years, my cat Snicklefrifz, got really sick out of nowwhere, I had just gotten back from Afganistan about a month earlier and had my other pet, a guinea pig named Ginger, die while I was gone. Anyway, Snicks got sick and I felt a more significant responsibility to keep him alive, instead of letting him go, two surgeries, an intestinal biopsy, feeding tube, and about $4500 in vet bills later he still died, wasting away in front of me and likely suffering more than he would if I would have just accepted that he was dying and ended his suffering. I regret my decision to fight his disease almost daily.
TL:DR You made the right decision. | If it makes you feel better my best friend of 11 years, my cat Snicklefrifz, got really sick out of nowwhere, I had just gotten back from Afganistan about a month earlier and had my other pet, a guinea pig named Ginger, die while I was gone. Anyway, Snicks got sick and I felt a more significant responsibility to keep him alive, instead of letting him go, two surgeries, an intestinal biopsy, feeding tube, and about $4500 in vet bills later he still died, wasting away in front of me and likely suffering more than he would if I would have just accepted that he was dying and ended his suffering. I regret my decision to fight his disease almost daily.
TL:DR You made the right decision.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdql61t | If it makes you feel better my best friend of 11 years, my cat Snicklefrifz, got really sick out of nowwhere, I had just gotten back from Afganistan about a month earlier and had my other pet, a guinea pig named Ginger, die while I was gone. Anyway, Snicks got sick and I felt a more significant responsibility to keep him alive, instead of letting him go, two surgeries, an intestinal biopsy, feeding tube, and about $4500 in vet bills later he still died, wasting away in front of me and likely suffering more than he would if I would have just accepted that he was dying and ended his suffering. I regret my decision to fight his disease almost daily. | You made the right decision. |
UlgraTheTerrible | I'm 5'7, a lady, and I weigh 220. I have a brother that's about 6' tall. He's very thin at 185. I'm chubby as hell.
I have some idea of how "big" you are. Odds are, your prof picked you instead of the fatter kids (sorry, young adults or something, you all smell like pee to me) because you're tall.
Even if you have zero muscle mass, you wouldn't be fat. So yeah, try to realize that you're probably /not/ the big guy. You're probably the scapegoat so the truly big guy didn't have to feel bad...
TL;DR: Something road to hell something something good intentions. | I'm 5'7, a lady, and I weigh 220. I have a brother that's about 6' tall. He's very thin at 185. I'm chubby as hell.
I have some idea of how "big" you are. Odds are, your prof picked you instead of the fatter kids (sorry, young adults or something, you all smell like pee to me) because you're tall.
Even if you have zero muscle mass, you wouldn't be fat. So yeah, try to realize that you're probably /not/ the big guy. You're probably the scapegoat so the truly big guy didn't have to feel bad...
TL;DR: Something road to hell something something good intentions.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqlovk | I'm 5'7, a lady, and I weigh 220. I have a brother that's about 6' tall. He's very thin at 185. I'm chubby as hell.
I have some idea of how "big" you are. Odds are, your prof picked you instead of the fatter kids (sorry, young adults or something, you all smell like pee to me) because you're tall.
Even if you have zero muscle mass, you wouldn't be fat. So yeah, try to realize that you're probably /not/ the big guy. You're probably the scapegoat so the truly big guy didn't have to feel bad... | Something road to hell something something good intentions. |
mechanicalFox | I was working for a tech agency receiving calls for multiple different companies all around the area. I always got stuck working the midnight hours, but I liked it because I barely got calls and I watched tv all night.
So one night I get a call in from a guy who's just obviously in shambles. He tells me his house had blown up tonight and they needed someone down there for insurance reasons I think? Well I call someone about it and check the records and it turns out that the man had bought a water heater, but decided to install it himself.
Well the mans child was killed in the explosion also and since he had installed the water heater himself the insurance wasn't liable. It was such a terribly heart breaking moment for me, that I couldn't have even imagine what the man felt like.
TL;DR Man accidently kills child through faulty water heater installation | I was working for a tech agency receiving calls for multiple different companies all around the area. I always got stuck working the midnight hours, but I liked it because I barely got calls and I watched tv all night.
So one night I get a call in from a guy who's just obviously in shambles. He tells me his house had blown up tonight and they needed someone down there for insurance reasons I think? Well I call someone about it and check the records and it turns out that the man had bought a water heater, but decided to install it himself.
Well the mans child was killed in the explosion also and since he had installed the water heater himself the insurance wasn't liable. It was such a terribly heart breaking moment for me, that I couldn't have even imagine what the man felt like.
TL;DR Man accidently kills child through faulty water heater installation
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqlqwt | I was working for a tech agency receiving calls for multiple different companies all around the area. I always got stuck working the midnight hours, but I liked it because I barely got calls and I watched tv all night.
So one night I get a call in from a guy who's just obviously in shambles. He tells me his house had blown up tonight and they needed someone down there for insurance reasons I think? Well I call someone about it and check the records and it turns out that the man had bought a water heater, but decided to install it himself.
Well the mans child was killed in the explosion also and since he had installed the water heater himself the insurance wasn't liable. It was such a terribly heart breaking moment for me, that I couldn't have even imagine what the man felt like. | Man accidently kills child through faulty water heater installation |
Shihana | How is she emotionally? I was severely burned when I was a little bit older than your daughter, and it didn't start to show up until later, but I ended up with a lot of anger issues over it. (You also wouldn't know I'd been burned, I was very lucky) I was just old enough to understand that something bad happened, and I was also at the age where you start to understand consequences, and it just burned my little soul that I hadn't done anything wrong but I was so badly hurt. I got so angry at the world for being unfair, though of course I didn't realize until I was much older and had developed some extra issues on top of the anger that that's what it was.
tl;dr: I got burned at that age too, and ended up with anger issues for most of my life as a result.
I'm glad she's okay, she looks like a sweetheart. | How is she emotionally? I was severely burned when I was a little bit older than your daughter, and it didn't start to show up until later, but I ended up with a lot of anger issues over it. (You also wouldn't know I'd been burned, I was very lucky) I was just old enough to understand that something bad happened, and I was also at the age where you start to understand consequences, and it just burned my little soul that I hadn't done anything wrong but I was so badly hurt. I got so angry at the world for being unfair, though of course I didn't realize until I was much older and had developed some extra issues on top of the anger that that's what it was.
tl;dr: I got burned at that age too, and ended up with anger issues for most of my life as a result.
I'm glad she's okay, she looks like a sweetheart.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqm5y2 | How is she emotionally? I was severely burned when I was a little bit older than your daughter, and it didn't start to show up until later, but I ended up with a lot of anger issues over it. (You also wouldn't know I'd been burned, I was very lucky) I was just old enough to understand that something bad happened, and I was also at the age where you start to understand consequences, and it just burned my little soul that I hadn't done anything wrong but I was so badly hurt. I got so angry at the world for being unfair, though of course I didn't realize until I was much older and had developed some extra issues on top of the anger that that's what it was. | I got burned at that age too, and ended up with anger issues for most of my life as a result.
I'm glad she's okay, she looks like a sweetheart. |
TumblrWithTonic | I had to be the one to tell a friend her grandmother had passed, but it wasn't on purpose. It broke my heart, here's the story.
A few years ago, I got home from school and my mother told me that our elderly neighbor had passed in her sleep. The ambulance arrived about a half hour after I left that morning. I was shocked, but knew it was coming. I saw her every day in a more decrepit state than the previous one. The woman had 4 children, one of whom lived with her. Another had a daughter, let's call her Emma. When Emma and I were growing up, we were very good friends and remained close. I saw her frequently when she came to visit her grandmother.
So, back to the story. After hearing the news from my mother, I go on Facebook to get in contact with the girl. I write on her Wall, "Sorry about your grandmother, your family is in my prayers."
She comments back a few minutes later, "lol what are you talking about, she's fine"
It was at that moment, I aloud said "Oh fuck."
I messaged her and told her what had happened. Her family still hadn't told her. Keep in mind this was more than 18 hours after death, that's a pretty big window. At the funeral, I got glares. The girl kept crying and family kept consoling her and said "You weren't supposed to find out like that!"
We haven't spoke since.
TLDR: elderly neighbor dies, family doesn't tell granddaughter, i accidentally break the news over facebook under the implication that she knows, family hates me. | I had to be the one to tell a friend her grandmother had passed, but it wasn't on purpose. It broke my heart, here's the story.
A few years ago, I got home from school and my mother told me that our elderly neighbor had passed in her sleep. The ambulance arrived about a half hour after I left that morning. I was shocked, but knew it was coming. I saw her every day in a more decrepit state than the previous one. The woman had 4 children, one of whom lived with her. Another had a daughter, let's call her Emma. When Emma and I were growing up, we were very good friends and remained close. I saw her frequently when she came to visit her grandmother.
So, back to the story. After hearing the news from my mother, I go on Facebook to get in contact with the girl. I write on her Wall, "Sorry about your grandmother, your family is in my prayers."
She comments back a few minutes later, "lol what are you talking about, she's fine"
It was at that moment, I aloud said "Oh fuck."
I messaged her and told her what had happened. Her family still hadn't told her. Keep in mind this was more than 18 hours after death, that's a pretty big window. At the funeral, I got glares. The girl kept crying and family kept consoling her and said "You weren't supposed to find out like that!"
We haven't spoke since.
TLDR: elderly neighbor dies, family doesn't tell granddaughter, i accidentally break the news over facebook under the implication that she knows, family hates me.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqmxeu | I had to be the one to tell a friend her grandmother had passed, but it wasn't on purpose. It broke my heart, here's the story.
A few years ago, I got home from school and my mother told me that our elderly neighbor had passed in her sleep. The ambulance arrived about a half hour after I left that morning. I was shocked, but knew it was coming. I saw her every day in a more decrepit state than the previous one. The woman had 4 children, one of whom lived with her. Another had a daughter, let's call her Emma. When Emma and I were growing up, we were very good friends and remained close. I saw her frequently when she came to visit her grandmother.
So, back to the story. After hearing the news from my mother, I go on Facebook to get in contact with the girl. I write on her Wall, "Sorry about your grandmother, your family is in my prayers."
She comments back a few minutes later, "lol what are you talking about, she's fine"
It was at that moment, I aloud said "Oh fuck."
I messaged her and told her what had happened. Her family still hadn't told her. Keep in mind this was more than 18 hours after death, that's a pretty big window. At the funeral, I got glares. The girl kept crying and family kept consoling her and said "You weren't supposed to find out like that!"
We haven't spoke since. | elderly neighbor dies, family doesn't tell granddaughter, i accidentally break the news over facebook under the implication that she knows, family hates me. |
NotyrCandy | Posted this on a throwaway of mine. Here goes. Probably too late to the thread anyways.
Okay, we need some backstory. Around a year ago i started to have a crush on this girl. Lets call her Tina. I really didnt do much with her besides the occasional hanging near her locker stalking her. As the year came to a close one of her friends, lets call her Madison. Madison and i were talking and she asked me who i liked. Ofc i told her after a long pause.
Next year rolls around and Madison tells me that Tina doesn't like me. Bummer right? The story doesn't end here. About 3 weeks later, another one of her friends and i were walking to class. It just so happened that they sit next to each other in the class we were going to. Somehow we got on the topic of crushes and i muttered. oh i'm crushing on someone right now. During this time, Madison was bugging me to give her my number because she quote, "needed to talk to me about something." I later tell the girl who i was walking to class with and she tells me that Tina does like me and doesnt know if im still interested.
Somehow, she gets my number and we start texting. People are asking me to go ask her to be my gf. But i seriously want to get to know this girl better. Well... Here's where i don't know whether i fucked up or she fucked up. Lets add another guy in the picture, lets call him jason. Jason has been hanging around Tina's locker lately and im getting hella jealous. So i grow the balls to ask her out. She tells me that i need to wait for monday for an answer...
Monday rolls around and she doesn't even give me an answer in person. Instead she is going out with jason because im not good enough. I recently went to a party with those two and you dont know how hard it was to go through that. We still text and stuff but it will never be the same
Sadly, because i still love her, i would take in within a heartbeat. Sorry if this came out as ranty,venty i just needed to get it off my chest.
TL; DR: Girls lead you on. Don't fall for the"Oh he's just my friend" But seriously, go read the story.
| Posted this on a throwaway of mine. Here goes. Probably too late to the thread anyways.
Okay, we need some backstory. Around a year ago i started to have a crush on this girl. Lets call her Tina. I really didnt do much with her besides the occasional hanging near her locker stalking her. As the year came to a close one of her friends, lets call her Madison. Madison and i were talking and she asked me who i liked. Ofc i told her after a long pause.
Next year rolls around and Madison tells me that Tina doesn't like me. Bummer right? The story doesn't end here. About 3 weeks later, another one of her friends and i were walking to class. It just so happened that they sit next to each other in the class we were going to. Somehow we got on the topic of crushes and i muttered. oh i'm crushing on someone right now. During this time, Madison was bugging me to give her my number because she quote, "needed to talk to me about something." I later tell the girl who i was walking to class with and she tells me that Tina does like me and doesnt know if im still interested.
Somehow, she gets my number and we start texting. People are asking me to go ask her to be my gf. But i seriously want to get to know this girl better. Well... Here's where i don't know whether i fucked up or she fucked up. Lets add another guy in the picture, lets call him jason. Jason has been hanging around Tina's locker lately and im getting hella jealous. So i grow the balls to ask her out. She tells me that i need to wait for monday for an answer...
Monday rolls around and she doesn't even give me an answer in person. Instead she is going out with jason because im not good enough. I recently went to a party with those two and you dont know how hard it was to go through that. We still text and stuff but it will never be the same
Sadly, because i still love her, i would take in within a heartbeat. Sorry if this came out as ranty,venty i just needed to get it off my chest.
TL; DR: Girls lead you on. Don't fall for the"Oh he's just my friend" But seriously, go read the story.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqo9qn | Posted this on a throwaway of mine. Here goes. Probably too late to the thread anyways.
Okay, we need some backstory. Around a year ago i started to have a crush on this girl. Lets call her Tina. I really didnt do much with her besides the occasional hanging near her locker stalking her. As the year came to a close one of her friends, lets call her Madison. Madison and i were talking and she asked me who i liked. Ofc i told her after a long pause.
Next year rolls around and Madison tells me that Tina doesn't like me. Bummer right? The story doesn't end here. About 3 weeks later, another one of her friends and i were walking to class. It just so happened that they sit next to each other in the class we were going to. Somehow we got on the topic of crushes and i muttered. oh i'm crushing on someone right now. During this time, Madison was bugging me to give her my number because she quote, "needed to talk to me about something." I later tell the girl who i was walking to class with and she tells me that Tina does like me and doesnt know if im still interested.
Somehow, she gets my number and we start texting. People are asking me to go ask her to be my gf. But i seriously want to get to know this girl better. Well... Here's where i don't know whether i fucked up or she fucked up. Lets add another guy in the picture, lets call him jason. Jason has been hanging around Tina's locker lately and im getting hella jealous. So i grow the balls to ask her out. She tells me that i need to wait for monday for an answer...
Monday rolls around and she doesn't even give me an answer in person. Instead she is going out with jason because im not good enough. I recently went to a party with those two and you dont know how hard it was to go through that. We still text and stuff but it will never be the same
Sadly, because i still love her, i would take in within a heartbeat. Sorry if this came out as ranty,venty i just needed to get it off my chest. | Girls lead you on. Don't fall for the"Oh he's just my friend" But seriously, go read the story. |
WickerThrowaway | (Throw away incase she ever finds my username). Not as terrible as some of these stories but probably my biggest moment. It all started back in 8th grade. Met a girl. Fall head over heels for girl. Friend-zoned but no big deal she was pretty cool either way. Still had a huge crush on her throughout high school. Brought it up a few times. Still friend-zoned. Still cool with it. after high school still pretty good friends with mild bumps here and there but stronger in the end. Well I'm about 20 at this point when I'm finally completely over her and just gonna find another decent girl. Date here and there with some pretty good experiences along the way but nothing solid. Then when I'm 21 I get an opportunity to start getting my life together. I.E. finally start college, move back with my folks. Only thing is they lived across the country. So planning on moving. She then tells me she doesn't want me to go and that she finally sees that I'm the guy for her. I was over her from before but I still thought she was the perfect gal at that point. We were closer than any couple I knew. I gave it a shot. Set all my plans aside. We were together, and life was good. A few rough spots along the way. Year or two later move in with her and still going good. One day out of the blue. She tells me she doesn't actually love me. Took years to bury the feelings I had for her and she dug them up only to stomp on them. There I was, pushed my plans back years to make things work with her. I continued to live there to try to keep the friendship going. She didn't make it easy. Also for lack of other living arrangements. Started drinking more and smoking again. Thought about suicide once or twice. Dad realized what a bad state I was in and gave me the opportunity again. I'm not sure whether I moved cross country more for the opportunity or to get away from her. We still talk now and again.
**TL;DR Don't postpone your life for a girl when you're young.** | (Throw away incase she ever finds my username). Not as terrible as some of these stories but probably my biggest moment. It all started back in 8th grade. Met a girl. Fall head over heels for girl. Friend-zoned but no big deal she was pretty cool either way. Still had a huge crush on her throughout high school. Brought it up a few times. Still friend-zoned. Still cool with it. after high school still pretty good friends with mild bumps here and there but stronger in the end. Well I'm about 20 at this point when I'm finally completely over her and just gonna find another decent girl. Date here and there with some pretty good experiences along the way but nothing solid. Then when I'm 21 I get an opportunity to start getting my life together. I.E. finally start college, move back with my folks. Only thing is they lived across the country. So planning on moving. She then tells me she doesn't want me to go and that she finally sees that I'm the guy for her. I was over her from before but I still thought she was the perfect gal at that point. We were closer than any couple I knew. I gave it a shot. Set all my plans aside. We were together, and life was good. A few rough spots along the way. Year or two later move in with her and still going good. One day out of the blue. She tells me she doesn't actually love me. Took years to bury the feelings I had for her and she dug them up only to stomp on them. There I was, pushed my plans back years to make things work with her. I continued to live there to try to keep the friendship going. She didn't make it easy. Also for lack of other living arrangements. Started drinking more and smoking again. Thought about suicide once or twice. Dad realized what a bad state I was in and gave me the opportunity again. I'm not sure whether I moved cross country more for the opportunity or to get away from her. We still talk now and again.
TL;DR Don't postpone your life for a girl when you're young.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqom9e | Throw away incase she ever finds my username). Not as terrible as some of these stories but probably my biggest moment. It all started back in 8th grade. Met a girl. Fall head over heels for girl. Friend-zoned but no big deal she was pretty cool either way. Still had a huge crush on her throughout high school. Brought it up a few times. Still friend-zoned. Still cool with it. after high school still pretty good friends with mild bumps here and there but stronger in the end. Well I'm about 20 at this point when I'm finally completely over her and just gonna find another decent girl. Date here and there with some pretty good experiences along the way but nothing solid. Then when I'm 21 I get an opportunity to start getting my life together. I.E. finally start college, move back with my folks. Only thing is they lived across the country. So planning on moving. She then tells me she doesn't want me to go and that she finally sees that I'm the guy for her. I was over her from before but I still thought she was the perfect gal at that point. We were closer than any couple I knew. I gave it a shot. Set all my plans aside. We were together, and life was good. A few rough spots along the way. Year or two later move in with her and still going good. One day out of the blue. She tells me she doesn't actually love me. Took years to bury the feelings I had for her and she dug them up only to stomp on them. There I was, pushed my plans back years to make things work with her. I continued to live there to try to keep the friendship going. She didn't make it easy. Also for lack of other living arrangements. Started drinking more and smoking again. Thought about suicide once or twice. Dad realized what a bad state I was in and gave me the opportunity again. I'm not sure whether I moved cross country more for the opportunity or to get away from her. We still talk now and again. | Don't postpone your life for a girl when you're young. |
smilinobserver | My mom died 7 December 2012. Months earlier she had been begging me to move back in with her. I refused because I felt my humanitarian work was more important. After her asking me over and over about coming home, I finally decided I'd spend 2 weeks with her for Christmas. I was in such debt that I had to work to save money for this trip (car repairs, rent/power covered so I'd have a heated place when I returned). My time off request was approved and was waiting to leave on the 16th.
>**Events of the 7th**: The day of the 7th I had a premonition. I had a vision of sorts of my mom in a casket. I banished the thought out of my mind and continued to work. When I got to my apartment I went to sleep immediately. My phone was dead so I had to charge it up. I couldn't make/receive calls, or check my facebook page. I awoke to it ringing. My cousin gave me the news (rather bluntly for my tastes). I hung up the phone and sat there in the dark.
>Grief filled me. I felt like I was adrift out in the sea, just me, with no crew, compass, or rudder. It was the single most worst event that ever happened to me in my 38 years of life. It took everything I had to pull myself together. Even as I type this, the grief threatens to consume me all over again. Her passing was like getting punched in the face by Mike Tyson. No matter how much you prepare for it, when it actually happens, all of your preparation was for nothing.
>A couple of weeks later I got a check from the insurance company. I just sat there and cried. What was this stupid check going to do? It certainly could not bring my mother back!
**tl;dr** My mom's death was the worse thing that ever happened to me. I felt like someone ripped a vital part of me out and I could never get that part back...ever! | My mom died 7 December 2012. Months earlier she had been begging me to move back in with her. I refused because I felt my humanitarian work was more important. After her asking me over and over about coming home, I finally decided I'd spend 2 weeks with her for Christmas. I was in such debt that I had to work to save money for this trip (car repairs, rent/power covered so I'd have a heated place when I returned). My time off request was approved and was waiting to leave on the 16th.
> Events of the 7th : The day of the 7th I had a premonition. I had a vision of sorts of my mom in a casket. I banished the thought out of my mind and continued to work. When I got to my apartment I went to sleep immediately. My phone was dead so I had to charge it up. I couldn't make/receive calls, or check my facebook page. I awoke to it ringing. My cousin gave me the news (rather bluntly for my tastes). I hung up the phone and sat there in the dark.
>Grief filled me. I felt like I was adrift out in the sea, just me, with no crew, compass, or rudder. It was the single most worst event that ever happened to me in my 38 years of life. It took everything I had to pull myself together. Even as I type this, the grief threatens to consume me all over again. Her passing was like getting punched in the face by Mike Tyson. No matter how much you prepare for it, when it actually happens, all of your preparation was for nothing.
>A couple of weeks later I got a check from the insurance company. I just sat there and cried. What was this stupid check going to do? It certainly could not bring my mother back!
tl;dr My mom's death was the worse thing that ever happened to me. I felt like someone ripped a vital part of me out and I could never get that part back...ever!
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqpdp8 | My mom died 7 December 2012. Months earlier she had been begging me to move back in with her. I refused because I felt my humanitarian work was more important. After her asking me over and over about coming home, I finally decided I'd spend 2 weeks with her for Christmas. I was in such debt that I had to work to save money for this trip (car repairs, rent/power covered so I'd have a heated place when I returned). My time off request was approved and was waiting to leave on the 16th.
> Events of the 7th : The day of the 7th I had a premonition. I had a vision of sorts of my mom in a casket. I banished the thought out of my mind and continued to work. When I got to my apartment I went to sleep immediately. My phone was dead so I had to charge it up. I couldn't make/receive calls, or check my facebook page. I awoke to it ringing. My cousin gave me the news (rather bluntly for my tastes). I hung up the phone and sat there in the dark.
>Grief filled me. I felt like I was adrift out in the sea, just me, with no crew, compass, or rudder. It was the single most worst event that ever happened to me in my 38 years of life. It took everything I had to pull myself together. Even as I type this, the grief threatens to consume me all over again. Her passing was like getting punched in the face by Mike Tyson. No matter how much you prepare for it, when it actually happens, all of your preparation was for nothing.
>A couple of weeks later I got a check from the insurance company. I just sat there and cried. What was this stupid check going to do? It certainly could not bring my mother back! | My mom's death was the worse thing that ever happened to me. I felt like someone ripped a vital part of me out and I could never get that part back...ever! |
Greyspace2008 | I never told this story before but I'll try my best to get it all in.
My family growing up was a bit of a mess. My dad was abusive and distant but he never hurt my mother, mostly just me. My mom had a tendency to verbally harass my dad but he never hit her. One night when I was 14, she got frustrated because he was ignoring her like he normally did when she started yelling endlessly and she got physical. I don't know much of the details, I didn't want to, but next thing I knew the police were there and my mom was taken away in handcuffs. I remember that night like it was yesterday, the police checked me for bruises/marks but they found nothing. After that I lay in my bed for hours, my dad came in after he got back from the police station and sat on my bed. They only thing I don't remember is what he said to me that night, I was totally gone at that point.
Within the next 2 days I got a call from a family friend who happened to be my highschool crush (we were on the verge of going out but you know, highschool shit) and all she said was "It's your mom" and she hands the phone to my clearly distraught mom who was crying. She started yelling that I needed to leave the house and get away from my father. She wanted me and brother to move in with her at our family friends, in one small room. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but I had to say no to her, I didn't think it was a viable option for all of us to try and live with them. She ended up moving into a college dorm for a few months before getting a house. I never told anyone about that call, I don't think my brother even knew. He probably would have gone with her but it just didn't make sense to me to make things even messier at that point.
My brother and I ended up splitting time evenly between our parents but my mom never forgave me for saying no to her that time. She started taking her anger towards my father out on me, continually calling me a "criminal, liar and a failure". I've never committed a crime, nor have I lied to her about anything more serious than under-aged drinking but she always called my father those things (he had been in legal battles about business stuff but was rightly cleared). She's threatened to kick me out many times and finally went through with the threat this summer, I remember hearing the door lock behind me as she said she never wanted to see me again.
I still question if I made right decision back then, I like to think that staying in our home helped maintain a level of normalcy that my brother and I really needed at that time but maybe if I gone with her things would have figured themselves out faster and she wouldn't harbour this resentment towards me.
TL;DR - Having to say "No" to my mother went she was crying and begging me to leave my childhood house to live with her. | I never told this story before but I'll try my best to get it all in.
My family growing up was a bit of a mess. My dad was abusive and distant but he never hurt my mother, mostly just me. My mom had a tendency to verbally harass my dad but he never hit her. One night when I was 14, she got frustrated because he was ignoring her like he normally did when she started yelling endlessly and she got physical. I don't know much of the details, I didn't want to, but next thing I knew the police were there and my mom was taken away in handcuffs. I remember that night like it was yesterday, the police checked me for bruises/marks but they found nothing. After that I lay in my bed for hours, my dad came in after he got back from the police station and sat on my bed. They only thing I don't remember is what he said to me that night, I was totally gone at that point.
Within the next 2 days I got a call from a family friend who happened to be my highschool crush (we were on the verge of going out but you know, highschool shit) and all she said was "It's your mom" and she hands the phone to my clearly distraught mom who was crying. She started yelling that I needed to leave the house and get away from my father. She wanted me and brother to move in with her at our family friends, in one small room. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but I had to say no to her, I didn't think it was a viable option for all of us to try and live with them. She ended up moving into a college dorm for a few months before getting a house. I never told anyone about that call, I don't think my brother even knew. He probably would have gone with her but it just didn't make sense to me to make things even messier at that point.
My brother and I ended up splitting time evenly between our parents but my mom never forgave me for saying no to her that time. She started taking her anger towards my father out on me, continually calling me a "criminal, liar and a failure". I've never committed a crime, nor have I lied to her about anything more serious than under-aged drinking but she always called my father those things (he had been in legal battles about business stuff but was rightly cleared). She's threatened to kick me out many times and finally went through with the threat this summer, I remember hearing the door lock behind me as she said she never wanted to see me again.
I still question if I made right decision back then, I like to think that staying in our home helped maintain a level of normalcy that my brother and I really needed at that time but maybe if I gone with her things would have figured themselves out faster and she wouldn't harbour this resentment towards me.
TL;DR - Having to say "No" to my mother went she was crying and begging me to leave my childhood house to live with her.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqptch | I never told this story before but I'll try my best to get it all in.
My family growing up was a bit of a mess. My dad was abusive and distant but he never hurt my mother, mostly just me. My mom had a tendency to verbally harass my dad but he never hit her. One night when I was 14, she got frustrated because he was ignoring her like he normally did when she started yelling endlessly and she got physical. I don't know much of the details, I didn't want to, but next thing I knew the police were there and my mom was taken away in handcuffs. I remember that night like it was yesterday, the police checked me for bruises/marks but they found nothing. After that I lay in my bed for hours, my dad came in after he got back from the police station and sat on my bed. They only thing I don't remember is what he said to me that night, I was totally gone at that point.
Within the next 2 days I got a call from a family friend who happened to be my highschool crush (we were on the verge of going out but you know, highschool shit) and all she said was "It's your mom" and she hands the phone to my clearly distraught mom who was crying. She started yelling that I needed to leave the house and get away from my father. She wanted me and brother to move in with her at our family friends, in one small room. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but I had to say no to her, I didn't think it was a viable option for all of us to try and live with them. She ended up moving into a college dorm for a few months before getting a house. I never told anyone about that call, I don't think my brother even knew. He probably would have gone with her but it just didn't make sense to me to make things even messier at that point.
My brother and I ended up splitting time evenly between our parents but my mom never forgave me for saying no to her that time. She started taking her anger towards my father out on me, continually calling me a "criminal, liar and a failure". I've never committed a crime, nor have I lied to her about anything more serious than under-aged drinking but she always called my father those things (he had been in legal battles about business stuff but was rightly cleared). She's threatened to kick me out many times and finally went through with the threat this summer, I remember hearing the door lock behind me as she said she never wanted to see me again.
I still question if I made right decision back then, I like to think that staying in our home helped maintain a level of normalcy that my brother and I really needed at that time but maybe if I gone with her things would have figured themselves out faster and she wouldn't harbour this resentment towards me. | Having to say "No" to my mother went she was crying and begging me to leave my childhood house to live with her. |
chance_on_life | I'm 22 and so far my biggest heart ache was all down to a stupid boy, I've never hurt like that before and I'm positive I'll never again.
We were together for 3 years, moved apart after a year to go to seperate universities. We did really well until the summer came. I saved my money and spent it wisely and went away to a couple of places over the summer. I'd asked him to come with us but he didn't have enough money so his parents made him get a job at a local warehouse - he was too lazy to do it himself and thought the world owed him something. He worked 6am - 2pm and moaned he was too tired to see me after work so we barely saw each other.
Anyway, I got back from a Spanish holiday with my mum and went straight to his house from the airport to pick him up to go out for a meal. Looking back, it was really weird but we made plans for the next next night to meet up and do something nice. The night came and he dropped me to go out with his new work friends, I got a text while he was out finishing things. I was confused so called him, he said his decision was final and I accepted it and went to bed to cry and sleep.
Now, if being broken up with isn't hard enough anyway, the following months just finished me off. A couple of days later, I noticed a junk message on my Facebook that had come while I'd been on holiday from someone saying that he had been seeing her daughter (thank goodness I didn't pick it up in Spain and ruin that holiday!). I immediately spoke to him and he denied everything. The next few months were filled with so many hideous lies and him generally being horrible and manipulative. He HAD been cheating with this girl who he met at work, he couldn't come on holiday in the first place because he was spending his and my money on drugs (he still to this day owes me money), he lied and tried to weasel his was out of everything. There was never a straight answer and he managed to keep me on a string - more fool me! I don't even have time to list everything!
Anyway, it turned out that this other girl had, sadly, been raped as a youngster and had serious psychological problems because of it. I got a phone call a month or so later apologising and saying he never wanted to be with her in the first place, she made him break up with me, he wanted me back but he was finding it difficult to let her go cos of her issues and please would I wait, blah blah blah - what a load of tosh, yet more lies to get his own way.
Because I was still feeling so crap about it all, I foolishly took him back. Things were never the same and he continued to be a shitty boyfriend even with promises to change and getting help for his own issues. My mum was told she had cancer and was hospitalised and he couldn't even get out of bed to help me wash up or do any of the other millions of things I was doing. I trogged on for almost a year and ignored that he wasn't who I wanted for myself even though deep down I knew. I tried to break up with him on a couple of occasions but he manipulated me to change my mind both times.
Anyway, I did it in the end and got rid of him. He was a manipulating, lying cheating little boy and I was better on my own. Before we were an item we were best friends. I cared for him dearly, but never saw a future with him even from the beginning but we enjoyed each others' company - I wished we had just left it at friendship as we don't even have that now. I never want to speak to again if I can help it!
It really hurt and I hope I never have to feel like that again. I'm glad I finally recognised my own self worth and wanted something better for myself even if that meant being single, I was better off!
There's a happy ending to my story though, just a couple of months later I met a gorgeous young man at a close friends party. We sparked instantly and spoke for weeks over the Internet and text. We started seeing each other and we were perfect together. He treats me with so much respect, we laugh constantly, conversation is never dry when we're together, we share so many interests and we just gel so well. We've both had our fair share of heartbreak but that's made us who we are today. I quickly fell for him because I just knew. After just a few months of being together officially, we went on holiday together and had a perfect time. He lives 150 miles away but we see each other every week and FaceTime most days, it's still a perfect relationship and we've even discussed marriage(!) I've never been happier and long may it last. Chin up to anyone who is going through a break up- it really hurts. But, you WILL meet someone who makes you wonder how you ever loved anyone else before and it will be amazing.
TL;DR: boyfriend was a cheating, lying, manipulating fucker but I finally saw sense and left him. I am now happier than ever with a gorgeous man who loves me perfectly.
edit:words | I'm 22 and so far my biggest heart ache was all down to a stupid boy, I've never hurt like that before and I'm positive I'll never again.
We were together for 3 years, moved apart after a year to go to seperate universities. We did really well until the summer came. I saved my money and spent it wisely and went away to a couple of places over the summer. I'd asked him to come with us but he didn't have enough money so his parents made him get a job at a local warehouse - he was too lazy to do it himself and thought the world owed him something. He worked 6am - 2pm and moaned he was too tired to see me after work so we barely saw each other.
Anyway, I got back from a Spanish holiday with my mum and went straight to his house from the airport to pick him up to go out for a meal. Looking back, it was really weird but we made plans for the next next night to meet up and do something nice. The night came and he dropped me to go out with his new work friends, I got a text while he was out finishing things. I was confused so called him, he said his decision was final and I accepted it and went to bed to cry and sleep.
Now, if being broken up with isn't hard enough anyway, the following months just finished me off. A couple of days later, I noticed a junk message on my Facebook that had come while I'd been on holiday from someone saying that he had been seeing her daughter (thank goodness I didn't pick it up in Spain and ruin that holiday!). I immediately spoke to him and he denied everything. The next few months were filled with so many hideous lies and him generally being horrible and manipulative. He HAD been cheating with this girl who he met at work, he couldn't come on holiday in the first place because he was spending his and my money on drugs (he still to this day owes me money), he lied and tried to weasel his was out of everything. There was never a straight answer and he managed to keep me on a string - more fool me! I don't even have time to list everything!
Anyway, it turned out that this other girl had, sadly, been raped as a youngster and had serious psychological problems because of it. I got a phone call a month or so later apologising and saying he never wanted to be with her in the first place, she made him break up with me, he wanted me back but he was finding it difficult to let her go cos of her issues and please would I wait, blah blah blah - what a load of tosh, yet more lies to get his own way.
Because I was still feeling so crap about it all, I foolishly took him back. Things were never the same and he continued to be a shitty boyfriend even with promises to change and getting help for his own issues. My mum was told she had cancer and was hospitalised and he couldn't even get out of bed to help me wash up or do any of the other millions of things I was doing. I trogged on for almost a year and ignored that he wasn't who I wanted for myself even though deep down I knew. I tried to break up with him on a couple of occasions but he manipulated me to change my mind both times.
Anyway, I did it in the end and got rid of him. He was a manipulating, lying cheating little boy and I was better on my own. Before we were an item we were best friends. I cared for him dearly, but never saw a future with him even from the beginning but we enjoyed each others' company - I wished we had just left it at friendship as we don't even have that now. I never want to speak to again if I can help it!
It really hurt and I hope I never have to feel like that again. I'm glad I finally recognised my own self worth and wanted something better for myself even if that meant being single, I was better off!
There's a happy ending to my story though, just a couple of months later I met a gorgeous young man at a close friends party. We sparked instantly and spoke for weeks over the Internet and text. We started seeing each other and we were perfect together. He treats me with so much respect, we laugh constantly, conversation is never dry when we're together, we share so many interests and we just gel so well. We've both had our fair share of heartbreak but that's made us who we are today. I quickly fell for him because I just knew. After just a few months of being together officially, we went on holiday together and had a perfect time. He lives 150 miles away but we see each other every week and FaceTime most days, it's still a perfect relationship and we've even discussed marriage(!) I've never been happier and long may it last. Chin up to anyone who is going through a break up- it really hurts. But, you WILL meet someone who makes you wonder how you ever loved anyone else before and it will be amazing.
TL;DR: boyfriend was a cheating, lying, manipulating fucker but I finally saw sense and left him. I am now happier than ever with a gorgeous man who loves me perfectly.
edit:words
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqt8ty | I'm 22 and so far my biggest heart ache was all down to a stupid boy, I've never hurt like that before and I'm positive I'll never again.
We were together for 3 years, moved apart after a year to go to seperate universities. We did really well until the summer came. I saved my money and spent it wisely and went away to a couple of places over the summer. I'd asked him to come with us but he didn't have enough money so his parents made him get a job at a local warehouse - he was too lazy to do it himself and thought the world owed him something. He worked 6am - 2pm and moaned he was too tired to see me after work so we barely saw each other.
Anyway, I got back from a Spanish holiday with my mum and went straight to his house from the airport to pick him up to go out for a meal. Looking back, it was really weird but we made plans for the next next night to meet up and do something nice. The night came and he dropped me to go out with his new work friends, I got a text while he was out finishing things. I was confused so called him, he said his decision was final and I accepted it and went to bed to cry and sleep.
Now, if being broken up with isn't hard enough anyway, the following months just finished me off. A couple of days later, I noticed a junk message on my Facebook that had come while I'd been on holiday from someone saying that he had been seeing her daughter (thank goodness I didn't pick it up in Spain and ruin that holiday!). I immediately spoke to him and he denied everything. The next few months were filled with so many hideous lies and him generally being horrible and manipulative. He HAD been cheating with this girl who he met at work, he couldn't come on holiday in the first place because he was spending his and my money on drugs (he still to this day owes me money), he lied and tried to weasel his was out of everything. There was never a straight answer and he managed to keep me on a string - more fool me! I don't even have time to list everything!
Anyway, it turned out that this other girl had, sadly, been raped as a youngster and had serious psychological problems because of it. I got a phone call a month or so later apologising and saying he never wanted to be with her in the first place, she made him break up with me, he wanted me back but he was finding it difficult to let her go cos of her issues and please would I wait, blah blah blah - what a load of tosh, yet more lies to get his own way.
Because I was still feeling so crap about it all, I foolishly took him back. Things were never the same and he continued to be a shitty boyfriend even with promises to change and getting help for his own issues. My mum was told she had cancer and was hospitalised and he couldn't even get out of bed to help me wash up or do any of the other millions of things I was doing. I trogged on for almost a year and ignored that he wasn't who I wanted for myself even though deep down I knew. I tried to break up with him on a couple of occasions but he manipulated me to change my mind both times.
Anyway, I did it in the end and got rid of him. He was a manipulating, lying cheating little boy and I was better on my own. Before we were an item we were best friends. I cared for him dearly, but never saw a future with him even from the beginning but we enjoyed each others' company - I wished we had just left it at friendship as we don't even have that now. I never want to speak to again if I can help it!
It really hurt and I hope I never have to feel like that again. I'm glad I finally recognised my own self worth and wanted something better for myself even if that meant being single, I was better off!
There's a happy ending to my story though, just a couple of months later I met a gorgeous young man at a close friends party. We sparked instantly and spoke for weeks over the Internet and text. We started seeing each other and we were perfect together. He treats me with so much respect, we laugh constantly, conversation is never dry when we're together, we share so many interests and we just gel so well. We've both had our fair share of heartbreak but that's made us who we are today. I quickly fell for him because I just knew. After just a few months of being together officially, we went on holiday together and had a perfect time. He lives 150 miles away but we see each other every week and FaceTime most days, it's still a perfect relationship and we've even discussed marriage(!) I've never been happier and long may it last. Chin up to anyone who is going through a break up- it really hurts. But, you WILL meet someone who makes you wonder how you ever loved anyone else before and it will be amazing. | boyfriend was a cheating, lying, manipulating fucker but I finally saw sense and left him. I am now happier than ever with a gorgeous man who loves me perfectly.
edit:words |
Cuneiform | Didn't shatter me, but definitely struck a nerve. As a privileged Westerner I feel guilty for feeling bad about this, since my emotional "pain" doesn't come close to what those abroad feel on a daily basis.
I was in India last year on business and I was reading the local newspaper. There was an article about a newborn girl who died because her family couldn't afford a 2 rupee down payment on a 4 rupee machine to help the baby breathe.
Current exchange rate indicates that 4 rupees is roughly 6 USD cents. A fucking dime could have saved this child; a quarter could save 6 children.
The extent of wealth inequality in this world is unfathomable.
TL;DR: If you can read this, you have no idea how good you have it | Didn't shatter me, but definitely struck a nerve. As a privileged Westerner I feel guilty for feeling bad about this, since my emotional "pain" doesn't come close to what those abroad feel on a daily basis.
I was in India last year on business and I was reading the local newspaper. There was an article about a newborn girl who died because her family couldn't afford a 2 rupee down payment on a 4 rupee machine to help the baby breathe.
Current exchange rate indicates that 4 rupees is roughly 6 USD cents. A fucking dime could have saved this child; a quarter could save 6 children.
The extent of wealth inequality in this world is unfathomable.
TL;DR: If you can read this, you have no idea how good you have it
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqtpht | Didn't shatter me, but definitely struck a nerve. As a privileged Westerner I feel guilty for feeling bad about this, since my emotional "pain" doesn't come close to what those abroad feel on a daily basis.
I was in India last year on business and I was reading the local newspaper. There was an article about a newborn girl who died because her family couldn't afford a 2 rupee down payment on a 4 rupee machine to help the baby breathe.
Current exchange rate indicates that 4 rupees is roughly 6 USD cents. A fucking dime could have saved this child; a quarter could save 6 children.
The extent of wealth inequality in this world is unfathomable. | If you can read this, you have no idea how good you have it |
You_Were_Right | This year has became the most difficult for me. I had to end my relationship with my girlfriend of four years three weeks prior to my 18th birthday because she no longer felt the same way and started talking to other people. Being my first long term relationship I was devastated. I felt like nothing could get worst until my parents informed me and my siblings a week later that they were taking time apart. This really hit me hard because it all happened so suddenly without any signs or warnings. My perfect family came to an end. Their divorce has been long and painful. It's been months now and there both currently living with us but honestly it's living hell. My life has became a roller coaster; right when it seems like they are fixing their problems another fight sets them apart. Being the oldest I have to stay strong for my younger siblings and my parents. My dad has became a heavy drinker while my mom feels awful and stressed out over the situation. I don't think that I'll be able to come out to them anytime soon because it will just drag on to the problems and they will probably end up blaming each other for it. At this point I really don't see anything good coming my way anytime soon.
tl:dr 18th Birthday was ruined with breakup & divorced. | This year has became the most difficult for me. I had to end my relationship with my girlfriend of four years three weeks prior to my 18th birthday because she no longer felt the same way and started talking to other people. Being my first long term relationship I was devastated. I felt like nothing could get worst until my parents informed me and my siblings a week later that they were taking time apart. This really hit me hard because it all happened so suddenly without any signs or warnings. My perfect family came to an end. Their divorce has been long and painful. It's been months now and there both currently living with us but honestly it's living hell. My life has became a roller coaster; right when it seems like they are fixing their problems another fight sets them apart. Being the oldest I have to stay strong for my younger siblings and my parents. My dad has became a heavy drinker while my mom feels awful and stressed out over the situation. I don't think that I'll be able to come out to them anytime soon because it will just drag on to the problems and they will probably end up blaming each other for it. At this point I really don't see anything good coming my way anytime soon.
tl:dr 18th Birthday was ruined with breakup & divorced.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqtzjc | This year has became the most difficult for me. I had to end my relationship with my girlfriend of four years three weeks prior to my 18th birthday because she no longer felt the same way and started talking to other people. Being my first long term relationship I was devastated. I felt like nothing could get worst until my parents informed me and my siblings a week later that they were taking time apart. This really hit me hard because it all happened so suddenly without any signs or warnings. My perfect family came to an end. Their divorce has been long and painful. It's been months now and there both currently living with us but honestly it's living hell. My life has became a roller coaster; right when it seems like they are fixing their problems another fight sets them apart. Being the oldest I have to stay strong for my younger siblings and my parents. My dad has became a heavy drinker while my mom feels awful and stressed out over the situation. I don't think that I'll be able to come out to them anytime soon because it will just drag on to the problems and they will probably end up blaming each other for it. At this point I really don't see anything good coming my way anytime soon. | 18th Birthday was ruined with breakup & divorced. |
neopifex | So there was this girl that I liked. She was in her early 20s, nine-ish years younger than me. We were friends from some internet forum for a few years but she'd been with this one guy for nearly as long as I'd known her, so I didn't think it'd ever move beyond friendship. She didn't live too far from me, but we didn't meet in person for a long time because the age difference made me feel a bit awkward. When we did meet, I was a bit smitten by how pretty she was.
One day on Facebook she tells me she and her boyfriend are getting married and she wants me to be her wedding photographer. I was okay with this. Over the course of a few months she would tell me how the plans were coming along, and it was clear she was pretty excited. Out of the blue she tells me the wedding is off and he wants a divorce. Naturally this confuses the hell out of me. Turns out they had eloped. The wedding was just going to be for show.
She comes home for a while and we hung out a few times. Looking back I should have realized she was flirting with me, but I'm kinda dense about that stuff in the moment. One Saturday, we go on a little road trip with her mom and another friend and had a really nice day. That evening she and I go to my favorite club. We drank and danced for hours, but it was never particularly close dancing. Sometime after midnight she seems tired, so I suggest we go.
Walking to her car, we're talking about how fun that was, and I let it slip that I like her. She says she likes me too, and we're both so drunk and relieved that the charade is over that we start hugging and kissing right there outside of the club, cold wind be damned. I know she's still married, but I didn't care; she likes me and I like her and once she's divorced this could be something great. Then she said something that set off fireworks in my head like nothing I've ever heard before: "[her first name] [my last name], I could live with that!"
Holy shit. She just said she could see herself married to me. Holy shit holy shit holy shit! I believed it with every drunken fiber of my being. We went to my place and had sloppy, drunken sex. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever been with. I was in heaven.
She went back to her grad school and, for a couple weeks, we spent a significant amount of time video chatting on skype. Then, when I said I wanted to move to be closer to her, she ended it. She said she couldn't handle another long-distance relationship, even though I'd decided I would be willing to take a loss on selling my condo. Nothing I said would change her mind.
My heart shattered. I fell apart. She had been the answer to everything that was missing in my life. She was perfect. Beautiful, smart as hell and a geek, but it was all ripped away. I sank into the worst depression I've yet experienced. I drank more than I ever had before. For months I was a complete wreck. It got so bad that the only solution I could see was to pour all my alcohol down the drain and stop drinking for at least a year. I managed that, at least.
She cut all contact with me because of how I reacted. I said some things online that, even though no one would know they were about her, and they weren't even that bad, angered her enough that even now, years later, she still has me blocked on every social network we used to be connected on. Initially I hoped we could be friends again someday, but I don't think it will happen. Her words and my blind optimism left such a deep wound in my heart, I don't know if I will ever be able to love someone again. My reaction left such a bad taste in her mouth that I doubt she'll ever speak to me again.
I'm in therapy and on anti-depressants now. The depression never went away, even after I stopped drinking for a year. I eventually started drinking again, and although I try to limit myself to social drinking only, sometimes things get so bad that I go and get fall-down drunk on my own. The sound of her name, even in reference to someone else, is like a bullet in my brain every time I hear it, and it's one of the most common names in the country. I've tried dating since then, but I always fall apart again after a couple dates. The whole saga was as much my fault as it was hers, but it only appears to have had an affect on me. She went off and started dating some other guy almost immediately. He kinda looked like a younger me. I felt like I hadn't mattered in the least.
TL;DR: Don't drink and fall in love. | So there was this girl that I liked. She was in her early 20s, nine-ish years younger than me. We were friends from some internet forum for a few years but she'd been with this one guy for nearly as long as I'd known her, so I didn't think it'd ever move beyond friendship. She didn't live too far from me, but we didn't meet in person for a long time because the age difference made me feel a bit awkward. When we did meet, I was a bit smitten by how pretty she was.
One day on Facebook she tells me she and her boyfriend are getting married and she wants me to be her wedding photographer. I was okay with this. Over the course of a few months she would tell me how the plans were coming along, and it was clear she was pretty excited. Out of the blue she tells me the wedding is off and he wants a divorce. Naturally this confuses the hell out of me. Turns out they had eloped. The wedding was just going to be for show.
She comes home for a while and we hung out a few times. Looking back I should have realized she was flirting with me, but I'm kinda dense about that stuff in the moment. One Saturday, we go on a little road trip with her mom and another friend and had a really nice day. That evening she and I go to my favorite club. We drank and danced for hours, but it was never particularly close dancing. Sometime after midnight she seems tired, so I suggest we go.
Walking to her car, we're talking about how fun that was, and I let it slip that I like her. She says she likes me too, and we're both so drunk and relieved that the charade is over that we start hugging and kissing right there outside of the club, cold wind be damned. I know she's still married, but I didn't care; she likes me and I like her and once she's divorced this could be something great. Then she said something that set off fireworks in my head like nothing I've ever heard before: "[her first name] [my last name], I could live with that!"
Holy shit. She just said she could see herself married to me. Holy shit holy shit holy shit! I believed it with every drunken fiber of my being. We went to my place and had sloppy, drunken sex. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever been with. I was in heaven.
She went back to her grad school and, for a couple weeks, we spent a significant amount of time video chatting on skype. Then, when I said I wanted to move to be closer to her, she ended it. She said she couldn't handle another long-distance relationship, even though I'd decided I would be willing to take a loss on selling my condo. Nothing I said would change her mind.
My heart shattered. I fell apart. She had been the answer to everything that was missing in my life. She was perfect. Beautiful, smart as hell and a geek, but it was all ripped away. I sank into the worst depression I've yet experienced. I drank more than I ever had before. For months I was a complete wreck. It got so bad that the only solution I could see was to pour all my alcohol down the drain and stop drinking for at least a year. I managed that, at least.
She cut all contact with me because of how I reacted. I said some things online that, even though no one would know they were about her, and they weren't even that bad, angered her enough that even now, years later, she still has me blocked on every social network we used to be connected on. Initially I hoped we could be friends again someday, but I don't think it will happen. Her words and my blind optimism left such a deep wound in my heart, I don't know if I will ever be able to love someone again. My reaction left such a bad taste in her mouth that I doubt she'll ever speak to me again.
I'm in therapy and on anti-depressants now. The depression never went away, even after I stopped drinking for a year. I eventually started drinking again, and although I try to limit myself to social drinking only, sometimes things get so bad that I go and get fall-down drunk on my own. The sound of her name, even in reference to someone else, is like a bullet in my brain every time I hear it, and it's one of the most common names in the country. I've tried dating since then, but I always fall apart again after a couple dates. The whole saga was as much my fault as it was hers, but it only appears to have had an affect on me. She went off and started dating some other guy almost immediately. He kinda looked like a younger me. I felt like I hadn't mattered in the least.
TL;DR: Don't drink and fall in love.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqvodn | So there was this girl that I liked. She was in her early 20s, nine-ish years younger than me. We were friends from some internet forum for a few years but she'd been with this one guy for nearly as long as I'd known her, so I didn't think it'd ever move beyond friendship. She didn't live too far from me, but we didn't meet in person for a long time because the age difference made me feel a bit awkward. When we did meet, I was a bit smitten by how pretty she was.
One day on Facebook she tells me she and her boyfriend are getting married and she wants me to be her wedding photographer. I was okay with this. Over the course of a few months she would tell me how the plans were coming along, and it was clear she was pretty excited. Out of the blue she tells me the wedding is off and he wants a divorce. Naturally this confuses the hell out of me. Turns out they had eloped. The wedding was just going to be for show.
She comes home for a while and we hung out a few times. Looking back I should have realized she was flirting with me, but I'm kinda dense about that stuff in the moment. One Saturday, we go on a little road trip with her mom and another friend and had a really nice day. That evening she and I go to my favorite club. We drank and danced for hours, but it was never particularly close dancing. Sometime after midnight she seems tired, so I suggest we go.
Walking to her car, we're talking about how fun that was, and I let it slip that I like her. She says she likes me too, and we're both so drunk and relieved that the charade is over that we start hugging and kissing right there outside of the club, cold wind be damned. I know she's still married, but I didn't care; she likes me and I like her and once she's divorced this could be something great. Then she said something that set off fireworks in my head like nothing I've ever heard before: "[her first name] [my last name], I could live with that!"
Holy shit. She just said she could see herself married to me. Holy shit holy shit holy shit! I believed it with every drunken fiber of my being. We went to my place and had sloppy, drunken sex. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever been with. I was in heaven.
She went back to her grad school and, for a couple weeks, we spent a significant amount of time video chatting on skype. Then, when I said I wanted to move to be closer to her, she ended it. She said she couldn't handle another long-distance relationship, even though I'd decided I would be willing to take a loss on selling my condo. Nothing I said would change her mind.
My heart shattered. I fell apart. She had been the answer to everything that was missing in my life. She was perfect. Beautiful, smart as hell and a geek, but it was all ripped away. I sank into the worst depression I've yet experienced. I drank more than I ever had before. For months I was a complete wreck. It got so bad that the only solution I could see was to pour all my alcohol down the drain and stop drinking for at least a year. I managed that, at least.
She cut all contact with me because of how I reacted. I said some things online that, even though no one would know they were about her, and they weren't even that bad, angered her enough that even now, years later, she still has me blocked on every social network we used to be connected on. Initially I hoped we could be friends again someday, but I don't think it will happen. Her words and my blind optimism left such a deep wound in my heart, I don't know if I will ever be able to love someone again. My reaction left such a bad taste in her mouth that I doubt she'll ever speak to me again.
I'm in therapy and on anti-depressants now. The depression never went away, even after I stopped drinking for a year. I eventually started drinking again, and although I try to limit myself to social drinking only, sometimes things get so bad that I go and get fall-down drunk on my own. The sound of her name, even in reference to someone else, is like a bullet in my brain every time I hear it, and it's one of the most common names in the country. I've tried dating since then, but I always fall apart again after a couple dates. The whole saga was as much my fault as it was hers, but it only appears to have had an affect on me. She went off and started dating some other guy almost immediately. He kinda looked like a younger me. I felt like I hadn't mattered in the least. | Don't drink and fall in love. |
C4ptainchr0nic | Once or twice a year my SO of 5 years and mother of my two kids would go to newfoundland ( a short hour flight away) for a month to see her family. she would always take the kids and fo the first week i would always enjoy my little vacation, but after that i would always just want my family back home. they gave me purpose, and I loved this woman dearly. One time two years ago she finally arrived back after 3 weeks of twiddling my thumbs and mising her guts. she was off, and different. deep down I knew what was happening, as we were young when we met and i always knew it would probably happen. she was falling out of love with me. she wanted to go drink with her girls that night, instead of spending time with me, but i didint make a fuss as I figured it wasnt the right thing to do. she came back the next day covered in hickies. the feeling i felt is indescribable.... like the carpet and the earth was being yanked from under me, i puked.
TL:DR,baby mama comes home with hickies after her first night back from being away and not seeing me for a month | Once or twice a year my SO of 5 years and mother of my two kids would go to newfoundland ( a short hour flight away) for a month to see her family. she would always take the kids and fo the first week i would always enjoy my little vacation, but after that i would always just want my family back home. they gave me purpose, and I loved this woman dearly. One time two years ago she finally arrived back after 3 weeks of twiddling my thumbs and mising her guts. she was off, and different. deep down I knew what was happening, as we were young when we met and i always knew it would probably happen. she was falling out of love with me. she wanted to go drink with her girls that night, instead of spending time with me, but i didint make a fuss as I figured it wasnt the right thing to do. she came back the next day covered in hickies. the feeling i felt is indescribable.... like the carpet and the earth was being yanked from under me, i puked.
TL:DR,baby mama comes home with hickies after her first night back from being away and not seeing me for a month
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdr0u5x | Once or twice a year my SO of 5 years and mother of my two kids would go to newfoundland ( a short hour flight away) for a month to see her family. she would always take the kids and fo the first week i would always enjoy my little vacation, but after that i would always just want my family back home. they gave me purpose, and I loved this woman dearly. One time two years ago she finally arrived back after 3 weeks of twiddling my thumbs and mising her guts. she was off, and different. deep down I knew what was happening, as we were young when we met and i always knew it would probably happen. she was falling out of love with me. she wanted to go drink with her girls that night, instead of spending time with me, but i didint make a fuss as I figured it wasnt the right thing to do. she came back the next day covered in hickies. the feeling i felt is indescribable.... like the carpet and the earth was being yanked from under me, i puked. | baby mama comes home with hickies after her first night back from being away and not seeing me for a month |
Deetoria | When I saw my grandfather about three months before his death and he cried.
Story: My grandmother died when I was 12. She was the love of his life. My grandfather is a true gentleman ( I'm every sense of the word ) and kind to everyone. He had been smart with money and had a good about saved for retirement and for my mom ( his only surviving child ) and her kids ( my brother and I ). About 6 months later he met this women and married her. Her and her eldest son began to systematically emotionally ( and suspect physically ) abuse him. There was no pre-nup agreement and he couldn't divorce her without losing most of what he had worked hard to gain. He was also a man of integrity and she was his wife. You look after your wife. They slowly began to cut my mother out of his life. The wife telling lies about my mom and the son threatening my grandfather. This continued to get progressively worse over 14 years. He went into the hospital in January of 2011. His wife and her son just left him there except for the odd visit to berate him for something or to make him feel terrible. My mother, brother and I had moved across the country long before then. By this point he hadn't seen my mother in almost 3 years. ( He had not been allowed ). We walked into the hospital room and I saw this small, shell of the man I knew sadly staring out the window. This was the man who took personal grooming seriously. His had always had her hair perfectly groomed, his clothes neat and tidy, a perfect gentleman. The man I saw was un-kempt, his hair long. I spoke first and said " Hi, Papa! " He turned and the look of surprise and joy on his face was incredible. He began to cry. I had never seen this man show any emotion other then happiness. It broke my heart. I didn't know what to do but hug him. Then he saw my mom and he began to cry more. We spent the afternoon with him. I cut his hair ( I'm a hairdresser and had never had the chance to give him a hair cut before and it was the hair cut he passed away with ). My mom gave him a foot massage and helped him brush his teeth. I had to return home but my mother stayed for the next three months until he passed away in June of that year. He passed away with my brother sitting beside him and my brother said he finally looked at peace. He passed away on my 29th birthday as well.
The whole situation was heartbreaking and heart warming and I was so glad that he passed away knowing that we loved him and that the last few months he was made to feel loved and that the last face he saw was my brother's and not his horrible wife's.
Tl; dr Grandfather was abused and cut off from his family. Didn't see him for a long time and he cried when he saw me for the final time. I had never seen him cry before. | When I saw my grandfather about three months before his death and he cried.
Story: My grandmother died when I was 12. She was the love of his life. My grandfather is a true gentleman ( I'm every sense of the word ) and kind to everyone. He had been smart with money and had a good about saved for retirement and for my mom ( his only surviving child ) and her kids ( my brother and I ). About 6 months later he met this women and married her. Her and her eldest son began to systematically emotionally ( and suspect physically ) abuse him. There was no pre-nup agreement and he couldn't divorce her without losing most of what he had worked hard to gain. He was also a man of integrity and she was his wife. You look after your wife. They slowly began to cut my mother out of his life. The wife telling lies about my mom and the son threatening my grandfather. This continued to get progressively worse over 14 years. He went into the hospital in January of 2011. His wife and her son just left him there except for the odd visit to berate him for something or to make him feel terrible. My mother, brother and I had moved across the country long before then. By this point he hadn't seen my mother in almost 3 years. ( He had not been allowed ). We walked into the hospital room and I saw this small, shell of the man I knew sadly staring out the window. This was the man who took personal grooming seriously. His had always had her hair perfectly groomed, his clothes neat and tidy, a perfect gentleman. The man I saw was un-kempt, his hair long. I spoke first and said " Hi, Papa! " He turned and the look of surprise and joy on his face was incredible. He began to cry. I had never seen this man show any emotion other then happiness. It broke my heart. I didn't know what to do but hug him. Then he saw my mom and he began to cry more. We spent the afternoon with him. I cut his hair ( I'm a hairdresser and had never had the chance to give him a hair cut before and it was the hair cut he passed away with ). My mom gave him a foot massage and helped him brush his teeth. I had to return home but my mother stayed for the next three months until he passed away in June of that year. He passed away with my brother sitting beside him and my brother said he finally looked at peace. He passed away on my 29th birthday as well.
The whole situation was heartbreaking and heart warming and I was so glad that he passed away knowing that we loved him and that the last few months he was made to feel loved and that the last face he saw was my brother's and not his horrible wife's.
Tl; dr Grandfather was abused and cut off from his family. Didn't see him for a long time and he cried when he saw me for the final time. I had never seen him cry before.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdr4oas | When I saw my grandfather about three months before his death and he cried.
Story: My grandmother died when I was 12. She was the love of his life. My grandfather is a true gentleman ( I'm every sense of the word ) and kind to everyone. He had been smart with money and had a good about saved for retirement and for my mom ( his only surviving child ) and her kids ( my brother and I ). About 6 months later he met this women and married her. Her and her eldest son began to systematically emotionally ( and suspect physically ) abuse him. There was no pre-nup agreement and he couldn't divorce her without losing most of what he had worked hard to gain. He was also a man of integrity and she was his wife. You look after your wife. They slowly began to cut my mother out of his life. The wife telling lies about my mom and the son threatening my grandfather. This continued to get progressively worse over 14 years. He went into the hospital in January of 2011. His wife and her son just left him there except for the odd visit to berate him for something or to make him feel terrible. My mother, brother and I had moved across the country long before then. By this point he hadn't seen my mother in almost 3 years. ( He had not been allowed ). We walked into the hospital room and I saw this small, shell of the man I knew sadly staring out the window. This was the man who took personal grooming seriously. His had always had her hair perfectly groomed, his clothes neat and tidy, a perfect gentleman. The man I saw was un-kempt, his hair long. I spoke first and said " Hi, Papa! " He turned and the look of surprise and joy on his face was incredible. He began to cry. I had never seen this man show any emotion other then happiness. It broke my heart. I didn't know what to do but hug him. Then he saw my mom and he began to cry more. We spent the afternoon with him. I cut his hair ( I'm a hairdresser and had never had the chance to give him a hair cut before and it was the hair cut he passed away with ). My mom gave him a foot massage and helped him brush his teeth. I had to return home but my mother stayed for the next three months until he passed away in June of that year. He passed away with my brother sitting beside him and my brother said he finally looked at peace. He passed away on my 29th birthday as well.
The whole situation was heartbreaking and heart warming and I was so glad that he passed away knowing that we loved him and that the last few months he was made to feel loved and that the last face he saw was my brother's and not his horrible wife's. | Grandfather was abused and cut off from his family. Didn't see him for a long time and he cried when he saw me for the final time. I had never seen him cry before. |
SooMadeleine | About two years ago was the hardest so far. I'm just starting to get over that right now.
My boyfriend had just left me for (I learned that afterwards) a married woman with whom he was working as a Teaching assistant at the University I was attending. I was already followed by specialists in a psychiatric hospital for my eating disorders and chronicle depression. He was the only one at that time that kept me from hurting myself in every way imaginable. We had been through a lot together and he always was very supportive in the darkest moments in my life. I don't resent him and thinking back I can understand the how and why.
He left me right before Christmas, the 15th of December. He was leaving the next morning for two weeks to celebrate the holidays with his family in England. I was left alone to move out of our apartment to a tiny overpriced 95 sq/ft cardboard box. My own family was torn at this moment, I wasn't speaking with my mother and my Dad was living in France (I live in Montreal, Canada). I moved my belongings alone in the middle of the winter with the subway as my only way of moving through the city. I did not have any friends because my anxiety and depression made me push away everybody that I cared about.
I spent my new year's eve crying and sleeping on the bare floor. January 1st of 2011 was spent in the ER after the landlord found me with a plastic bag over my head, unconscious, all of my windows open when it was - 25 outside. The Policemen told me my kitten had tore holes in the plastic bag, preventing me to completely asphyxiate and die.
I couldn't believe I had survived. I didn't want to live anymore, I deeply and sincerely wanted everything to end, I didn't care about my family, I though then all the blame was on them. All is better now. I had two other healthy relationships and breakups to convince me that love didn't have to be so dramatic after all. I have a new fulfilling job and I'm back in college to finally get back on tracks.
These memories come back once in while and I always regret the lack of closure on this relationship. I tried to contact him for a coffee and a little talk without success. I never had any news from him since.
Sorry for the length...
tl:dr bf broke up with me, was depressed tried to kill myself but my cat saved me | About two years ago was the hardest so far. I'm just starting to get over that right now.
My boyfriend had just left me for (I learned that afterwards) a married woman with whom he was working as a Teaching assistant at the University I was attending. I was already followed by specialists in a psychiatric hospital for my eating disorders and chronicle depression. He was the only one at that time that kept me from hurting myself in every way imaginable. We had been through a lot together and he always was very supportive in the darkest moments in my life. I don't resent him and thinking back I can understand the how and why.
He left me right before Christmas, the 15th of December. He was leaving the next morning for two weeks to celebrate the holidays with his family in England. I was left alone to move out of our apartment to a tiny overpriced 95 sq/ft cardboard box. My own family was torn at this moment, I wasn't speaking with my mother and my Dad was living in France (I live in Montreal, Canada). I moved my belongings alone in the middle of the winter with the subway as my only way of moving through the city. I did not have any friends because my anxiety and depression made me push away everybody that I cared about.
I spent my new year's eve crying and sleeping on the bare floor. January 1st of 2011 was spent in the ER after the landlord found me with a plastic bag over my head, unconscious, all of my windows open when it was - 25 outside. The Policemen told me my kitten had tore holes in the plastic bag, preventing me to completely asphyxiate and die.
I couldn't believe I had survived. I didn't want to live anymore, I deeply and sincerely wanted everything to end, I didn't care about my family, I though then all the blame was on them. All is better now. I had two other healthy relationships and breakups to convince me that love didn't have to be so dramatic after all. I have a new fulfilling job and I'm back in college to finally get back on tracks.
These memories come back once in while and I always regret the lack of closure on this relationship. I tried to contact him for a coffee and a little talk without success. I never had any news from him since.
Sorry for the length...
tl:dr bf broke up with me, was depressed tried to kill myself but my cat saved me
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdq9rs4 | About two years ago was the hardest so far. I'm just starting to get over that right now.
My boyfriend had just left me for (I learned that afterwards) a married woman with whom he was working as a Teaching assistant at the University I was attending. I was already followed by specialists in a psychiatric hospital for my eating disorders and chronicle depression. He was the only one at that time that kept me from hurting myself in every way imaginable. We had been through a lot together and he always was very supportive in the darkest moments in my life. I don't resent him and thinking back I can understand the how and why.
He left me right before Christmas, the 15th of December. He was leaving the next morning for two weeks to celebrate the holidays with his family in England. I was left alone to move out of our apartment to a tiny overpriced 95 sq/ft cardboard box. My own family was torn at this moment, I wasn't speaking with my mother and my Dad was living in France (I live in Montreal, Canada). I moved my belongings alone in the middle of the winter with the subway as my only way of moving through the city. I did not have any friends because my anxiety and depression made me push away everybody that I cared about.
I spent my new year's eve crying and sleeping on the bare floor. January 1st of 2011 was spent in the ER after the landlord found me with a plastic bag over my head, unconscious, all of my windows open when it was - 25 outside. The Policemen told me my kitten had tore holes in the plastic bag, preventing me to completely asphyxiate and die.
I couldn't believe I had survived. I didn't want to live anymore, I deeply and sincerely wanted everything to end, I didn't care about my family, I though then all the blame was on them. All is better now. I had two other healthy relationships and breakups to convince me that love didn't have to be so dramatic after all. I have a new fulfilling job and I'm back in college to finally get back on tracks.
These memories come back once in while and I always regret the lack of closure on this relationship. I tried to contact him for a coffee and a little talk without success. I never had any news from him since.
Sorry for the length... | bf broke up with me, was depressed tried to kill myself but my cat saved me |
sickhypnotic | When I was seventeen, I was with a guy who was 21, and we dated for about two years. The night we broke up, we had been planning on going to a party, but I got really sick after dinner and wanted to go home. He got really upset with me and refused to speak to me for the first 30 minutes of the 45 minute drive home. When we were about ten or so miles from my house, I reached up to change the radio station. He slapped my hand away and started screaming at me. I immediately started crying, so he choked me and yelled at me to stop. He had pulled the car over at this point, so I was scrambling to reach the door handle and get out of the car. He slapped my and broke my lip open, and anger just like, surged through me. I grabbed his wallet out of the cupholder, opened the door, and ran as fast as I could. I pocketed all of his money and threw the wallet into a field. He drove the car up beside me and told me to get in. When I refused, he got out and grabbed the shoulder strap of my purse, so that we were pulling it in opposite directions. He ended up tearing the strap off, taking the rest of the purse (with all of my stuff in it) and throwing it into the road, where he ran it over with his truck. He left me to walk home that night, on the side of a country road in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, a really nice couple stopped and gave me a ride, but I seriously always wonder what would have happened if they hadn't..
TL;DR I know what it's like to be in a shitty relationship | When I was seventeen, I was with a guy who was 21, and we dated for about two years. The night we broke up, we had been planning on going to a party, but I got really sick after dinner and wanted to go home. He got really upset with me and refused to speak to me for the first 30 minutes of the 45 minute drive home. When we were about ten or so miles from my house, I reached up to change the radio station. He slapped my hand away and started screaming at me. I immediately started crying, so he choked me and yelled at me to stop. He had pulled the car over at this point, so I was scrambling to reach the door handle and get out of the car. He slapped my and broke my lip open, and anger just like, surged through me. I grabbed his wallet out of the cupholder, opened the door, and ran as fast as I could. I pocketed all of his money and threw the wallet into a field. He drove the car up beside me and told me to get in. When I refused, he got out and grabbed the shoulder strap of my purse, so that we were pulling it in opposite directions. He ended up tearing the strap off, taking the rest of the purse (with all of my stuff in it) and throwing it into the road, where he ran it over with his truck. He left me to walk home that night, on the side of a country road in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, a really nice couple stopped and gave me a ride, but I seriously always wonder what would have happened if they hadn't..
TL;DR I know what it's like to be in a shitty relationship
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqax1z | When I was seventeen, I was with a guy who was 21, and we dated for about two years. The night we broke up, we had been planning on going to a party, but I got really sick after dinner and wanted to go home. He got really upset with me and refused to speak to me for the first 30 minutes of the 45 minute drive home. When we were about ten or so miles from my house, I reached up to change the radio station. He slapped my hand away and started screaming at me. I immediately started crying, so he choked me and yelled at me to stop. He had pulled the car over at this point, so I was scrambling to reach the door handle and get out of the car. He slapped my and broke my lip open, and anger just like, surged through me. I grabbed his wallet out of the cupholder, opened the door, and ran as fast as I could. I pocketed all of his money and threw the wallet into a field. He drove the car up beside me and told me to get in. When I refused, he got out and grabbed the shoulder strap of my purse, so that we were pulling it in opposite directions. He ended up tearing the strap off, taking the rest of the purse (with all of my stuff in it) and throwing it into the road, where he ran it over with his truck. He left me to walk home that night, on the side of a country road in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, a really nice couple stopped and gave me a ride, but I seriously always wonder what would have happened if they hadn't.. | I know what it's like to be in a shitty relationship |
THE_GUY_IN_CHAINS | My parents got a divorce. It was 2 weeks before my 15th birthday and 2 months before Christmas. It was supposed to be a happy time for the family, but I got really depressed after that. Shortly after, my mom moved 3 hours away and I went with her but my twin brother stayed with my dad. I couldn't make any friends and contemplated suicide. Decided instead of putting my family through that I'd just move back in with my dad where I knew I had friends that would support me. My dad turned into a control freak, and nothing I do is ever good enough for him. He's always asking for more. It really drains me, but my friends help me get through it. Thank God for friends.
TL;DR:Family fell apart. Parents got divorce, I moved with mom while my twin brother stayed with dad, got depressed/suicidal, moved back with dad, depend on friends for a good time. | My parents got a divorce. It was 2 weeks before my 15th birthday and 2 months before Christmas. It was supposed to be a happy time for the family, but I got really depressed after that. Shortly after, my mom moved 3 hours away and I went with her but my twin brother stayed with my dad. I couldn't make any friends and contemplated suicide. Decided instead of putting my family through that I'd just move back in with my dad where I knew I had friends that would support me. My dad turned into a control freak, and nothing I do is ever good enough for him. He's always asking for more. It really drains me, but my friends help me get through it. Thank God for friends.
TL;DR:Family fell apart. Parents got divorce, I moved with mom while my twin brother stayed with dad, got depressed/suicidal, moved back with dad, depend on friends for a good time.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqbek2 | My parents got a divorce. It was 2 weeks before my 15th birthday and 2 months before Christmas. It was supposed to be a happy time for the family, but I got really depressed after that. Shortly after, my mom moved 3 hours away and I went with her but my twin brother stayed with my dad. I couldn't make any friends and contemplated suicide. Decided instead of putting my family through that I'd just move back in with my dad where I knew I had friends that would support me. My dad turned into a control freak, and nothing I do is ever good enough for him. He's always asking for more. It really drains me, but my friends help me get through it. Thank God for friends. | Family fell apart. Parents got divorce, I moved with mom while my twin brother stayed with dad, got depressed/suicidal, moved back with dad, depend on friends for a good time. |
JosiahMason | So my older brother is an Afghan War vet. We hung out a lot after my first year of college, getting drunk, trying K2 for a bit, mostly just relaxing. Of my six brothers, he was my closest relative. Then I headed back to school, and he became addicted to K2, depressed, alcoholic, and tried to kill himself three times. It tore me apart, but I barely made it through the semester. I get home on my birthday, Dec 14, and he comes over to the family house and hangs out for a bit. He asks my dad for gas money, saying I'm planning to come over Monday and work out budgets and investments (he had lawsuit money from a children accident at Denny's) and my dad gives him 20 bucks. He's supposedly clean from K2, but on the way to his house he stops by a head shop and uses the 20 bucks to buy some. We get to his house and he starts to roll it, and I tell him it isn't my scene anymore.
He gets really high and really confrontational, blaming me for his addictions, blaming my family for not respecting the war or soldiers (I have four other active duty family members in three branches, so that's not true). Finally he pulls a gun and threatens to kill me when i tell him not to come to dinner. His clean fiancée drives me home, and we both cry to my parents.
He comes over the next day, and I'm asleep, only my mom is home. He lays into her, calling her a bitch and screaming about respect, saying we weren't family and we couldn't contact him. Then he leaves, and i wake up and console my mom.
Two weeks later is Christmas morning. He shows up with his fiancée. He's crying, doesn't have anyone for Christmas, no presents, no decorations or cookies. We take him in but my parents want to talk about the twenty bucks he lied about for gas money. He blows up, again, screaming and hollering, in front of my three younger brothers, then slams the door, yells "You aren't my family anymore!" and walks down the drive. I follow him out, begging him to hit me, shoot me, do anything to me so he can be jailed and committed to get help. He threatens me, gets in his car, and drives off screeching the tires.
That was last year. I haven't heard from him since, although all my family has. I got married last Saturday and he wasn't there, because I can't find the courage to reach out again. After sex, me and my wife spent our wedding night crying about my brother. The depths that he hurt me, and the amount i want things to be okay, combined with a beautiful day, absolutely broke my heart.
Tldr: addict vet brother threatens to kill me, doesn't speak to me for a year, and isn't at my wedding. | So my older brother is an Afghan War vet. We hung out a lot after my first year of college, getting drunk, trying K2 for a bit, mostly just relaxing. Of my six brothers, he was my closest relative. Then I headed back to school, and he became addicted to K2, depressed, alcoholic, and tried to kill himself three times. It tore me apart, but I barely made it through the semester. I get home on my birthday, Dec 14, and he comes over to the family house and hangs out for a bit. He asks my dad for gas money, saying I'm planning to come over Monday and work out budgets and investments (he had lawsuit money from a children accident at Denny's) and my dad gives him 20 bucks. He's supposedly clean from K2, but on the way to his house he stops by a head shop and uses the 20 bucks to buy some. We get to his house and he starts to roll it, and I tell him it isn't my scene anymore.
He gets really high and really confrontational, blaming me for his addictions, blaming my family for not respecting the war or soldiers (I have four other active duty family members in three branches, so that's not true). Finally he pulls a gun and threatens to kill me when i tell him not to come to dinner. His clean fiancée drives me home, and we both cry to my parents.
He comes over the next day, and I'm asleep, only my mom is home. He lays into her, calling her a bitch and screaming about respect, saying we weren't family and we couldn't contact him. Then he leaves, and i wake up and console my mom.
Two weeks later is Christmas morning. He shows up with his fiancée. He's crying, doesn't have anyone for Christmas, no presents, no decorations or cookies. We take him in but my parents want to talk about the twenty bucks he lied about for gas money. He blows up, again, screaming and hollering, in front of my three younger brothers, then slams the door, yells "You aren't my family anymore!" and walks down the drive. I follow him out, begging him to hit me, shoot me, do anything to me so he can be jailed and committed to get help. He threatens me, gets in his car, and drives off screeching the tires.
That was last year. I haven't heard from him since, although all my family has. I got married last Saturday and he wasn't there, because I can't find the courage to reach out again. After sex, me and my wife spent our wedding night crying about my brother. The depths that he hurt me, and the amount i want things to be okay, combined with a beautiful day, absolutely broke my heart.
Tldr: addict vet brother threatens to kill me, doesn't speak to me for a year, and isn't at my wedding.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqbk1f | So my older brother is an Afghan War vet. We hung out a lot after my first year of college, getting drunk, trying K2 for a bit, mostly just relaxing. Of my six brothers, he was my closest relative. Then I headed back to school, and he became addicted to K2, depressed, alcoholic, and tried to kill himself three times. It tore me apart, but I barely made it through the semester. I get home on my birthday, Dec 14, and he comes over to the family house and hangs out for a bit. He asks my dad for gas money, saying I'm planning to come over Monday and work out budgets and investments (he had lawsuit money from a children accident at Denny's) and my dad gives him 20 bucks. He's supposedly clean from K2, but on the way to his house he stops by a head shop and uses the 20 bucks to buy some. We get to his house and he starts to roll it, and I tell him it isn't my scene anymore.
He gets really high and really confrontational, blaming me for his addictions, blaming my family for not respecting the war or soldiers (I have four other active duty family members in three branches, so that's not true). Finally he pulls a gun and threatens to kill me when i tell him not to come to dinner. His clean fiancée drives me home, and we both cry to my parents.
He comes over the next day, and I'm asleep, only my mom is home. He lays into her, calling her a bitch and screaming about respect, saying we weren't family and we couldn't contact him. Then he leaves, and i wake up and console my mom.
Two weeks later is Christmas morning. He shows up with his fiancée. He's crying, doesn't have anyone for Christmas, no presents, no decorations or cookies. We take him in but my parents want to talk about the twenty bucks he lied about for gas money. He blows up, again, screaming and hollering, in front of my three younger brothers, then slams the door, yells "You aren't my family anymore!" and walks down the drive. I follow him out, begging him to hit me, shoot me, do anything to me so he can be jailed and committed to get help. He threatens me, gets in his car, and drives off screeching the tires.
That was last year. I haven't heard from him since, although all my family has. I got married last Saturday and he wasn't there, because I can't find the courage to reach out again. After sex, me and my wife spent our wedding night crying about my brother. The depths that he hurt me, and the amount i want things to be okay, combined with a beautiful day, absolutely broke my heart. | addict vet brother threatens to kill me, doesn't speak to me for a year, and isn't at my wedding. |
Swamproot1120 | Very recently, I went to the American Red Cross to go donate blood, like I've done several times before. I went to the union in my school, went in the back with all the laptops where they make you fill out their medical questionnaire. A few things had changed since last time, and I wanted to be honest about my medical information, so I was.
A lady went over my answers and told me that I was now barred from giving blood ever again. Why? Because I'm gay.
I geniunly thought she was fucking with me. I couldn't believe that was a thing. I had been banned for life because I was gay and had become sexually active.
I have **never** cried so hard in all of my life. I went to my school's radio station, where I work, and found a quiet place and puked out my soul through my eye balls. I was so hurt emotionally, and spiritually. I had only come out recently, and never faced discrimination like this before. I know it seems like it isn't that big of a deal, but it really, *really* upset me on a level I didn't know I had.
It may have broke my heart completely, but I am coming back in a blaze of glory. I am going to Washington D.C. next semester through my school and working with someone who is working to lift this archaic, ludicrous, and discriminatory ban. I dream of the day I can donate blood to my fellow citizen again and it makes me elated.
TL:DR: I was barred from donating blood because I'm gay and It was really traumatic.
| Very recently, I went to the American Red Cross to go donate blood, like I've done several times before. I went to the union in my school, went in the back with all the laptops where they make you fill out their medical questionnaire. A few things had changed since last time, and I wanted to be honest about my medical information, so I was.
A lady went over my answers and told me that I was now barred from giving blood ever again. Why? Because I'm gay.
I geniunly thought she was fucking with me. I couldn't believe that was a thing. I had been banned for life because I was gay and had become sexually active.
I have never cried so hard in all of my life. I went to my school's radio station, where I work, and found a quiet place and puked out my soul through my eye balls. I was so hurt emotionally, and spiritually. I had only come out recently, and never faced discrimination like this before. I know it seems like it isn't that big of a deal, but it really, really upset me on a level I didn't know I had.
It may have broke my heart completely, but I am coming back in a blaze of glory. I am going to Washington D.C. next semester through my school and working with someone who is working to lift this archaic, ludicrous, and discriminatory ban. I dream of the day I can donate blood to my fellow citizen again and it makes me elated.
TL:DR: I was barred from donating blood because I'm gay and It was really traumatic.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqbmp0 | Very recently, I went to the American Red Cross to go donate blood, like I've done several times before. I went to the union in my school, went in the back with all the laptops where they make you fill out their medical questionnaire. A few things had changed since last time, and I wanted to be honest about my medical information, so I was.
A lady went over my answers and told me that I was now barred from giving blood ever again. Why? Because I'm gay.
I geniunly thought she was fucking with me. I couldn't believe that was a thing. I had been banned for life because I was gay and had become sexually active.
I have never cried so hard in all of my life. I went to my school's radio station, where I work, and found a quiet place and puked out my soul through my eye balls. I was so hurt emotionally, and spiritually. I had only come out recently, and never faced discrimination like this before. I know it seems like it isn't that big of a deal, but it really, really upset me on a level I didn't know I had.
It may have broke my heart completely, but I am coming back in a blaze of glory. I am going to Washington D.C. next semester through my school and working with someone who is working to lift this archaic, ludicrous, and discriminatory ban. I dream of the day I can donate blood to my fellow citizen again and it makes me elated. | I was barred from donating blood because I'm gay and It was really traumatic. |
thestanoftyler | Kind of a long story but it definitely is the right thread to post it in.
A couple years ago, I was in a relationship with a girl that was a a compulsive liar. I didn't know this, because nobody warned me about it. She was a cheater too, but of course lied about it. One day, I was sitting next to her while she was skyping her grandma through her iPad, and I noticed that she had deleted her entire history. I asked her why she'd do that, and she made up some excuse that made enough sense for me to disregard it. Fast forward about two hours, and I check on my facebook, to see that some guy had posted on her wall three times asking her to get on Skype as soon as she can. I immediately saw a red flag and confronted her about it, asking her what's going on and who he is. She started screaming at me and telling me I'm a terrible person, and how I'm such a dick for not trusting her and all that. She lied and told me he was a childhood friend of hers that she recently reconnected with, and I didn't know she was a compulsive liar yet so I just believed it and felt guilty. I tell her I will trust her if she calls him on Skype and let's me watch for a minute without him knowing I'm there to see what they're up to. She agrees, but not peacefully. She said she'd do it in a while. I wait for her to call him for about an hour, while she was messing around on her iPad, doing god knows what. She finally calls him, and they just talk about really boring shit for about five minutes, and I decide I was wrong and I'll leave her be. As I get up, he sends her a message, and she had accidentally archived them instead of deleting them, so I got to read their full conversation and it went like this;
`Her: hey my boyfriend wants to make sure I'm not cheating so when I call you make sure you're dressed and don't say anything dumb, he's gonna be watching`
`Him: um, okay`
`Her: I convinced him that you used to be my neighbor so go along with it if it comes up`
`Him: sure thing. Can you still call tonight when he falls asleep like usual?`
`Her: yeah just don't bring anything up about us pretend my neighbor from when we were kids`
`Him: alright thanks for the heads up`
She panicked and exited out, trying to weasel out an excuse, but that was the last straw. I calmly told her that out relationship was over, and she should probably figure out where she's gonna stay come night time because she sure as hell wasn't at my house. I ended up letting her anyway because I had known this girl all my life and I didn't want her sleeping in the streets, but the way she manipulated me into feeling like a bad guy while lying about cheating on me to my face tore me apart. To this day it's my saddest experience, because we had grown up together and she was able to just go behind my back without hesitation.
I have never felt the way I did with her towards anybody else, and I'm scared that I may never feel that way again. I ended up getting her professional help, and to this day we are still really good friends. She has gotten much better about her lying, and is a much tamer person than before. She has been my best friend since before I can remember, and although we've been through shit like this, nothing has ever split us apart.
TL;DR
Childhood best friend turned girlfriend got caught cheating and lied to guilt trip me but got caught anyway and I got her help and now she's better and we're friends but things will still never be how I wanted them to | Kind of a long story but it definitely is the right thread to post it in.
A couple years ago, I was in a relationship with a girl that was a a compulsive liar. I didn't know this, because nobody warned me about it. She was a cheater too, but of course lied about it. One day, I was sitting next to her while she was skyping her grandma through her iPad, and I noticed that she had deleted her entire history. I asked her why she'd do that, and she made up some excuse that made enough sense for me to disregard it. Fast forward about two hours, and I check on my facebook, to see that some guy had posted on her wall three times asking her to get on Skype as soon as she can. I immediately saw a red flag and confronted her about it, asking her what's going on and who he is. She started screaming at me and telling me I'm a terrible person, and how I'm such a dick for not trusting her and all that. She lied and told me he was a childhood friend of hers that she recently reconnected with, and I didn't know she was a compulsive liar yet so I just believed it and felt guilty. I tell her I will trust her if she calls him on Skype and let's me watch for a minute without him knowing I'm there to see what they're up to. She agrees, but not peacefully. She said she'd do it in a while. I wait for her to call him for about an hour, while she was messing around on her iPad, doing god knows what. She finally calls him, and they just talk about really boring shit for about five minutes, and I decide I was wrong and I'll leave her be. As I get up, he sends her a message, and she had accidentally archived them instead of deleting them, so I got to read their full conversation and it went like this;
Her: hey my boyfriend wants to make sure I'm not cheating so when I call you make sure you're dressed and don't say anything dumb, he's gonna be watching
Him: um, okay
Her: I convinced him that you used to be my neighbor so go along with it if it comes up
Him: sure thing. Can you still call tonight when he falls asleep like usual?
Her: yeah just don't bring anything up about us pretend my neighbor from when we were kids
Him: alright thanks for the heads up
She panicked and exited out, trying to weasel out an excuse, but that was the last straw. I calmly told her that out relationship was over, and she should probably figure out where she's gonna stay come night time because she sure as hell wasn't at my house. I ended up letting her anyway because I had known this girl all my life and I didn't want her sleeping in the streets, but the way she manipulated me into feeling like a bad guy while lying about cheating on me to my face tore me apart. To this day it's my saddest experience, because we had grown up together and she was able to just go behind my back without hesitation.
I have never felt the way I did with her towards anybody else, and I'm scared that I may never feel that way again. I ended up getting her professional help, and to this day we are still really good friends. She has gotten much better about her lying, and is a much tamer person than before. She has been my best friend since before I can remember, and although we've been through shit like this, nothing has ever split us apart.
TL;DR
Childhood best friend turned girlfriend got caught cheating and lied to guilt trip me but got caught anyway and I got her help and now she's better and we're friends but things will still never be how I wanted them to
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqbsj4 | Kind of a long story but it definitely is the right thread to post it in.
A couple years ago, I was in a relationship with a girl that was a a compulsive liar. I didn't know this, because nobody warned me about it. She was a cheater too, but of course lied about it. One day, I was sitting next to her while she was skyping her grandma through her iPad, and I noticed that she had deleted her entire history. I asked her why she'd do that, and she made up some excuse that made enough sense for me to disregard it. Fast forward about two hours, and I check on my facebook, to see that some guy had posted on her wall three times asking her to get on Skype as soon as she can. I immediately saw a red flag and confronted her about it, asking her what's going on and who he is. She started screaming at me and telling me I'm a terrible person, and how I'm such a dick for not trusting her and all that. She lied and told me he was a childhood friend of hers that she recently reconnected with, and I didn't know she was a compulsive liar yet so I just believed it and felt guilty. I tell her I will trust her if she calls him on Skype and let's me watch for a minute without him knowing I'm there to see what they're up to. She agrees, but not peacefully. She said she'd do it in a while. I wait for her to call him for about an hour, while she was messing around on her iPad, doing god knows what. She finally calls him, and they just talk about really boring shit for about five minutes, and I decide I was wrong and I'll leave her be. As I get up, he sends her a message, and she had accidentally archived them instead of deleting them, so I got to read their full conversation and it went like this;
Her: hey my boyfriend wants to make sure I'm not cheating so when I call you make sure you're dressed and don't say anything dumb, he's gonna be watching
Him: um, okay
Her: I convinced him that you used to be my neighbor so go along with it if it comes up
Him: sure thing. Can you still call tonight when he falls asleep like usual?
Her: yeah just don't bring anything up about us pretend my neighbor from when we were kids
Him: alright thanks for the heads up
She panicked and exited out, trying to weasel out an excuse, but that was the last straw. I calmly told her that out relationship was over, and she should probably figure out where she's gonna stay come night time because she sure as hell wasn't at my house. I ended up letting her anyway because I had known this girl all my life and I didn't want her sleeping in the streets, but the way she manipulated me into feeling like a bad guy while lying about cheating on me to my face tore me apart. To this day it's my saddest experience, because we had grown up together and she was able to just go behind my back without hesitation.
I have never felt the way I did with her towards anybody else, and I'm scared that I may never feel that way again. I ended up getting her professional help, and to this day we are still really good friends. She has gotten much better about her lying, and is a much tamer person than before. She has been my best friend since before I can remember, and although we've been through shit like this, nothing has ever split us apart. | Childhood best friend turned girlfriend got caught cheating and lied to guilt trip me but got caught anyway and I got her help and now she's better and we're friends but things will still never be how I wanted them to |
BigBlueSkies | I've been through breakups and deaths of loved ones and other messy things, but the moment I walked off the job at my family's business was the worst.
I tried really hard in school and went to the best university in the region. When I graduated, I had all these options open to me but I went to work for my family's company just like I did every summer and just like it was expected of me.
But I hated it. Every day was a bad day. I was making peanuts. I hated my coworkers. One day something went wrong. I made a mistake and $2500 of equipment was smashed. It was the crash that smashed any illusions of potential happiness for my life there. So I walked into my grandfather's office and told him I was done.
The next few months were horrible. I didn't know how to do anything else. My days felt empty. I had problems finding a new job. My family support network disappeared. They felt betrayed. I fell into a deep depression. I felt like I let everyone down.
But it was the right choice. And I'm happy now.
Tl;dr - Job change | I've been through breakups and deaths of loved ones and other messy things, but the moment I walked off the job at my family's business was the worst.
I tried really hard in school and went to the best university in the region. When I graduated, I had all these options open to me but I went to work for my family's company just like I did every summer and just like it was expected of me.
But I hated it. Every day was a bad day. I was making peanuts. I hated my coworkers. One day something went wrong. I made a mistake and $2500 of equipment was smashed. It was the crash that smashed any illusions of potential happiness for my life there. So I walked into my grandfather's office and told him I was done.
The next few months were horrible. I didn't know how to do anything else. My days felt empty. I had problems finding a new job. My family support network disappeared. They felt betrayed. I fell into a deep depression. I felt like I let everyone down.
But it was the right choice. And I'm happy now.
Tl;dr - Job change
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqbvi2 | I've been through breakups and deaths of loved ones and other messy things, but the moment I walked off the job at my family's business was the worst.
I tried really hard in school and went to the best university in the region. When I graduated, I had all these options open to me but I went to work for my family's company just like I did every summer and just like it was expected of me.
But I hated it. Every day was a bad day. I was making peanuts. I hated my coworkers. One day something went wrong. I made a mistake and $2500 of equipment was smashed. It was the crash that smashed any illusions of potential happiness for my life there. So I walked into my grandfather's office and told him I was done.
The next few months were horrible. I didn't know how to do anything else. My days felt empty. I had problems finding a new job. My family support network disappeared. They felt betrayed. I fell into a deep depression. I felt like I let everyone down.
But it was the right choice. And I'm happy now. | Job change |
RainbowPhoenix | During my senior year, there was one night that I knew there was something wrong. My sister and I had made dinner and I went to tell my parents it was done, and they were in their room sitting on the bed, and my mom was crying about something my dad had just told her. A few nights later, they were both going out to talk to the bishop, and at first my mom told me she didn't know why they needed to meet him, but then before she left she admitted she did know but told me not to worry about it because it didn't have anything to do with me. So, I had the next day off from school and...I checked the computer. Yup. Porn. Only not the kind I would have ever expected from my father, because it included videos of how to act transgender and wear heels, and stuff where a wife makes her husband wear panties... From my conservative LDS dad. I felt awful, because my mom really has never been into sex very much because of her last husband.... and then what about my little sister? She couldn't know about this. So I went on and pretended it didn't happen. Then they told me they told the bishop I was bi, and I was upset at that, since it's not their place to tell him.
It gets better. Later I wanted to go to my Senior Ball with a girl. My parents were very displeased and tried to do everything they could to talk me out of it, but I had closing night of our show, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown to worry about. I remember what happened very distinctly. I was straightening my hair and drawing on freckles because I was Peppermint Patty in our production. My mom was in the bathroom with me, arguing about how it's a bad idea because no one should know that I'm gay, but at this point, I WANTED people to know. I threw back at her, if she didn't want people to know why did she tell the bishop on me? In her anger she shouted at me, "We told him you were gay because that's the reason your father did what he did!" She didn't even know that I knew what exactly my father had done. I froze and then just said, "What?" with complete disbelief. She left, going to her room to cry because SHE was so distraught and hurt. I went on to get ready, trembling with emotion. My dad drove me to my show, all the while lecturing me on how wrong it was to go to a dance with someone of the same gender, and I heard the disgust in his voice. He was upset at me for making my mom upset but from that moment he had lost all my respect. Him watching porn? Fine, I get it, I'm a teenager, I know what the temptation is like. But saying he was doing it because he started out doing "research" on me being gay? That was it. I got out of the car and shouted one last thing to him before slamming the car door shut. "Next time, remember to clear your internet history."
I did the show, keeping back tears backstage while my friends comforted me. After, as is tradition, we all went to a local ice cream shop, and I stayed out late, because I just didn't want to go home.
I later found out that my little sister was the one to find it in the first place, and they were all keeping it from me, even after the bishop suggested that he come clean. My sister still refuses to talk about it at all, and as is the way of my family we just pretend it never happened at all.
TL;DR: My dad said that he got into pornography "because I was gay." | During my senior year, there was one night that I knew there was something wrong. My sister and I had made dinner and I went to tell my parents it was done, and they were in their room sitting on the bed, and my mom was crying about something my dad had just told her. A few nights later, they were both going out to talk to the bishop, and at first my mom told me she didn't know why they needed to meet him, but then before she left she admitted she did know but told me not to worry about it because it didn't have anything to do with me. So, I had the next day off from school and...I checked the computer. Yup. Porn. Only not the kind I would have ever expected from my father, because it included videos of how to act transgender and wear heels, and stuff where a wife makes her husband wear panties... From my conservative LDS dad. I felt awful, because my mom really has never been into sex very much because of her last husband.... and then what about my little sister? She couldn't know about this. So I went on and pretended it didn't happen. Then they told me they told the bishop I was bi, and I was upset at that, since it's not their place to tell him.
It gets better. Later I wanted to go to my Senior Ball with a girl. My parents were very displeased and tried to do everything they could to talk me out of it, but I had closing night of our show, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown to worry about. I remember what happened very distinctly. I was straightening my hair and drawing on freckles because I was Peppermint Patty in our production. My mom was in the bathroom with me, arguing about how it's a bad idea because no one should know that I'm gay, but at this point, I WANTED people to know. I threw back at her, if she didn't want people to know why did she tell the bishop on me? In her anger she shouted at me, "We told him you were gay because that's the reason your father did what he did!" She didn't even know that I knew what exactly my father had done. I froze and then just said, "What?" with complete disbelief. She left, going to her room to cry because SHE was so distraught and hurt. I went on to get ready, trembling with emotion. My dad drove me to my show, all the while lecturing me on how wrong it was to go to a dance with someone of the same gender, and I heard the disgust in his voice. He was upset at me for making my mom upset but from that moment he had lost all my respect. Him watching porn? Fine, I get it, I'm a teenager, I know what the temptation is like. But saying he was doing it because he started out doing "research" on me being gay? That was it. I got out of the car and shouted one last thing to him before slamming the car door shut. "Next time, remember to clear your internet history."
I did the show, keeping back tears backstage while my friends comforted me. After, as is tradition, we all went to a local ice cream shop, and I stayed out late, because I just didn't want to go home.
I later found out that my little sister was the one to find it in the first place, and they were all keeping it from me, even after the bishop suggested that he come clean. My sister still refuses to talk about it at all, and as is the way of my family we just pretend it never happened at all.
TL;DR: My dad said that he got into pornography "because I was gay."
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqby9h | During my senior year, there was one night that I knew there was something wrong. My sister and I had made dinner and I went to tell my parents it was done, and they were in their room sitting on the bed, and my mom was crying about something my dad had just told her. A few nights later, they were both going out to talk to the bishop, and at first my mom told me she didn't know why they needed to meet him, but then before she left she admitted she did know but told me not to worry about it because it didn't have anything to do with me. So, I had the next day off from school and...I checked the computer. Yup. Porn. Only not the kind I would have ever expected from my father, because it included videos of how to act transgender and wear heels, and stuff where a wife makes her husband wear panties... From my conservative LDS dad. I felt awful, because my mom really has never been into sex very much because of her last husband.... and then what about my little sister? She couldn't know about this. So I went on and pretended it didn't happen. Then they told me they told the bishop I was bi, and I was upset at that, since it's not their place to tell him.
It gets better. Later I wanted to go to my Senior Ball with a girl. My parents were very displeased and tried to do everything they could to talk me out of it, but I had closing night of our show, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown to worry about. I remember what happened very distinctly. I was straightening my hair and drawing on freckles because I was Peppermint Patty in our production. My mom was in the bathroom with me, arguing about how it's a bad idea because no one should know that I'm gay, but at this point, I WANTED people to know. I threw back at her, if she didn't want people to know why did she tell the bishop on me? In her anger she shouted at me, "We told him you were gay because that's the reason your father did what he did!" She didn't even know that I knew what exactly my father had done. I froze and then just said, "What?" with complete disbelief. She left, going to her room to cry because SHE was so distraught and hurt. I went on to get ready, trembling with emotion. My dad drove me to my show, all the while lecturing me on how wrong it was to go to a dance with someone of the same gender, and I heard the disgust in his voice. He was upset at me for making my mom upset but from that moment he had lost all my respect. Him watching porn? Fine, I get it, I'm a teenager, I know what the temptation is like. But saying he was doing it because he started out doing "research" on me being gay? That was it. I got out of the car and shouted one last thing to him before slamming the car door shut. "Next time, remember to clear your internet history."
I did the show, keeping back tears backstage while my friends comforted me. After, as is tradition, we all went to a local ice cream shop, and I stayed out late, because I just didn't want to go home.
I later found out that my little sister was the one to find it in the first place, and they were all keeping it from me, even after the bishop suggested that he come clean. My sister still refuses to talk about it at all, and as is the way of my family we just pretend it never happened at all. | My dad said that he got into pornography "because I was gay." |
Kessee | Being raised in the Mormon religion, believing it, embracing it, serving in it. I was a missionary for two years for it. (saved up as much money as I could to pay my way, parents helped with the rest..it's all volunteer that you pay for.) I actively worked at all the offices in the religion I was 'called' to be involved in. Teaching classes, volunteer work, Temple work, went to seminary in highschool. Studied the doctrine on an almost daily basis. Put so much time and effort and ability into it. I wanted to run with it and trumpet it to the ends of the world. Met an RM (return missionary) woman after my mission. Fell in 'Love'. Lived the rules the best I could to be 'worthy' and qualified to be sealed/married in the Mormon Temple. Lived the Mormon script as best I could.
2006 started writing a book that relied heavily on the early stages of the religion during it's 'restoration' in the early 1800's. Read some historical events that contradicted what I was taught growing up and what I had taught on my Mission. In literally one night browsing information online...the house of cards collapsed. I panicked. Freaked out. My mind was running at a million miles an hour. The first 'what if it isn't true' entered my mind and it was such a foreign thought to me. God of the very universe had given his authority to THIS religion. Only this one! And now... I didn't know.
The divorce to my SO was easier than the mental break from the LDS theology, the reprogramming is still a work in progress but I'm now hyperaware of what I think and am choosing when I make decisions. I always was quite aware but it was only from the perspective of what other's would think about a choice I made since being a 'good example' was a huge underpinning of what I was taught. When something is all you've ever been...having actual 'freedom' and 'choice' is super hard to get used to. Needing to actually look at yourself in the mirror and think about who you truly are and what you truly like and dislike and making proactive choices to find out...actually learning about yourself for the first time..well, I don't know how to explain it unless you've actually gone through it. It's amazing and yet scary at the same time, since a lot of things that make life enjoyable are against the rules of the religion. You feel like you are walking in a minefield and one wrong step you are done for.
I'm still figuring things out.
TL;DR: Realizing the religion I followed wasn't what it claimed. | Being raised in the Mormon religion, believing it, embracing it, serving in it. I was a missionary for two years for it. (saved up as much money as I could to pay my way, parents helped with the rest..it's all volunteer that you pay for.) I actively worked at all the offices in the religion I was 'called' to be involved in. Teaching classes, volunteer work, Temple work, went to seminary in highschool. Studied the doctrine on an almost daily basis. Put so much time and effort and ability into it. I wanted to run with it and trumpet it to the ends of the world. Met an RM (return missionary) woman after my mission. Fell in 'Love'. Lived the rules the best I could to be 'worthy' and qualified to be sealed/married in the Mormon Temple. Lived the Mormon script as best I could.
2006 started writing a book that relied heavily on the early stages of the religion during it's 'restoration' in the early 1800's. Read some historical events that contradicted what I was taught growing up and what I had taught on my Mission. In literally one night browsing information online...the house of cards collapsed. I panicked. Freaked out. My mind was running at a million miles an hour. The first 'what if it isn't true' entered my mind and it was such a foreign thought to me. God of the very universe had given his authority to THIS religion. Only this one! And now... I didn't know.
The divorce to my SO was easier than the mental break from the LDS theology, the reprogramming is still a work in progress but I'm now hyperaware of what I think and am choosing when I make decisions. I always was quite aware but it was only from the perspective of what other's would think about a choice I made since being a 'good example' was a huge underpinning of what I was taught. When something is all you've ever been...having actual 'freedom' and 'choice' is super hard to get used to. Needing to actually look at yourself in the mirror and think about who you truly are and what you truly like and dislike and making proactive choices to find out...actually learning about yourself for the first time..well, I don't know how to explain it unless you've actually gone through it. It's amazing and yet scary at the same time, since a lot of things that make life enjoyable are against the rules of the religion. You feel like you are walking in a minefield and one wrong step you are done for.
I'm still figuring things out.
TL;DR: Realizing the religion I followed wasn't what it claimed.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqbykp | Being raised in the Mormon religion, believing it, embracing it, serving in it. I was a missionary for two years for it. (saved up as much money as I could to pay my way, parents helped with the rest..it's all volunteer that you pay for.) I actively worked at all the offices in the religion I was 'called' to be involved in. Teaching classes, volunteer work, Temple work, went to seminary in highschool. Studied the doctrine on an almost daily basis. Put so much time and effort and ability into it. I wanted to run with it and trumpet it to the ends of the world. Met an RM (return missionary) woman after my mission. Fell in 'Love'. Lived the rules the best I could to be 'worthy' and qualified to be sealed/married in the Mormon Temple. Lived the Mormon script as best I could.
2006 started writing a book that relied heavily on the early stages of the religion during it's 'restoration' in the early 1800's. Read some historical events that contradicted what I was taught growing up and what I had taught on my Mission. In literally one night browsing information online...the house of cards collapsed. I panicked. Freaked out. My mind was running at a million miles an hour. The first 'what if it isn't true' entered my mind and it was such a foreign thought to me. God of the very universe had given his authority to THIS religion. Only this one! And now... I didn't know.
The divorce to my SO was easier than the mental break from the LDS theology, the reprogramming is still a work in progress but I'm now hyperaware of what I think and am choosing when I make decisions. I always was quite aware but it was only from the perspective of what other's would think about a choice I made since being a 'good example' was a huge underpinning of what I was taught. When something is all you've ever been...having actual 'freedom' and 'choice' is super hard to get used to. Needing to actually look at yourself in the mirror and think about who you truly are and what you truly like and dislike and making proactive choices to find out...actually learning about yourself for the first time..well, I don't know how to explain it unless you've actually gone through it. It's amazing and yet scary at the same time, since a lot of things that make life enjoyable are against the rules of the religion. You feel like you are walking in a minefield and one wrong step you are done for.
I'm still figuring things out. | Realizing the religion I followed wasn't what it claimed. |
catburrower | Everyone talks about when someone died but I haven't had that happen yet. My moment was a week before going to scad. I had earned a scholarship from them and from bright futures. The bf agent assured me that at least 75 percent would be covered since it was out of state and I had the full scholarship. A week before the freshman orientation,I get a call asking when I would pay the outstanding total of 16000 dollars. When they checked, bf only covered a small portion and they told me that the policy in out of state changed. I had already spent all my money on fees that couldn't be refunded. It was to late to to apply elsewhere. I was sobbing in my bed room and my aunt came in and told me that I should've been more prepared as if it were my fault bf changed. I gave up on art. Went to a community college and am now at a university. I was socially recluse for 3 years and still an to an extent. It was my greatest failure and rude awakening that the world revolves around money and a poor person like me wasn't allowed the luxury of her dream come true. My best friend went without me, and I had to completely rearrange my future. I still doodle, but art is just a sad reminder of what I've lost.
Tl;dr bright futures ruined my life. | Everyone talks about when someone died but I haven't had that happen yet. My moment was a week before going to scad. I had earned a scholarship from them and from bright futures. The bf agent assured me that at least 75 percent would be covered since it was out of state and I had the full scholarship. A week before the freshman orientation,I get a call asking when I would pay the outstanding total of 16000 dollars. When they checked, bf only covered a small portion and they told me that the policy in out of state changed. I had already spent all my money on fees that couldn't be refunded. It was to late to to apply elsewhere. I was sobbing in my bed room and my aunt came in and told me that I should've been more prepared as if it were my fault bf changed. I gave up on art. Went to a community college and am now at a university. I was socially recluse for 3 years and still an to an extent. It was my greatest failure and rude awakening that the world revolves around money and a poor person like me wasn't allowed the luxury of her dream come true. My best friend went without me, and I had to completely rearrange my future. I still doodle, but art is just a sad reminder of what I've lost.
Tl;dr bright futures ruined my life.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqc081 | Everyone talks about when someone died but I haven't had that happen yet. My moment was a week before going to scad. I had earned a scholarship from them and from bright futures. The bf agent assured me that at least 75 percent would be covered since it was out of state and I had the full scholarship. A week before the freshman orientation,I get a call asking when I would pay the outstanding total of 16000 dollars. When they checked, bf only covered a small portion and they told me that the policy in out of state changed. I had already spent all my money on fees that couldn't be refunded. It was to late to to apply elsewhere. I was sobbing in my bed room and my aunt came in and told me that I should've been more prepared as if it were my fault bf changed. I gave up on art. Went to a community college and am now at a university. I was socially recluse for 3 years and still an to an extent. It was my greatest failure and rude awakening that the world revolves around money and a poor person like me wasn't allowed the luxury of her dream come true. My best friend went without me, and I had to completely rearrange my future. I still doodle, but art is just a sad reminder of what I've lost. | bright futures ruined my life. |
gmdski117 | My sophomore year in college I started dating this really cute girl that hung out with my group of friends and went to the same university as I did. Things were going well first three weeks (besides an awkward first date in which I back my car into a has station garbage can and had my hungry stomach growl the entire time we were at the movies).
One day she asked if I was free in the evening and I said I'd visit her after work as she was getting out. Now, I've been telling my best friend about her and how great she is and as these positive things about her. He agreed to go with me since I was o ly visiting here and then go grab a drink at a bar in downtown after. We get to her job, she worked retail in a rise, my friend stayed behind some so I can talk to her and maybe introduce him. I ask her coworker if she's available and she goes to get her, I smile as I see shes all dressed up for work and looks great....but what happened next I could not prepare for. She started screaming at me through the glass as if she didn't know me and what am I doing there, what gave me the idea to come to her job, who am I, and that I need to leave right away, to get the fuck out because im embarrassing her..etc...and my friend heard it all and so did all the strangers looking at me.
My heart broke, my face changed a few shades of green, and I feeling like shit is an understatement. On top of that I had to take a glass elevator down with my friend who looked like he'd seen a ghost.
We drank like sailors that night...almost got alcohol poisoning. Didn't help that I'd see her at school and seeing herwhen I hung that group of friends.
For a very, very, long time after that I had no trust in women and wore a very thick suit of armor (metaphorically) not letting anybody get too close to me.
TL; DR: Girl I was dating invited me to see her after work then acted like she didn't know me when I got there in front of her coworkers, strangers, and my best friend | My sophomore year in college I started dating this really cute girl that hung out with my group of friends and went to the same university as I did. Things were going well first three weeks (besides an awkward first date in which I back my car into a has station garbage can and had my hungry stomach growl the entire time we were at the movies).
One day she asked if I was free in the evening and I said I'd visit her after work as she was getting out. Now, I've been telling my best friend about her and how great she is and as these positive things about her. He agreed to go with me since I was o ly visiting here and then go grab a drink at a bar in downtown after. We get to her job, she worked retail in a rise, my friend stayed behind some so I can talk to her and maybe introduce him. I ask her coworker if she's available and she goes to get her, I smile as I see shes all dressed up for work and looks great....but what happened next I could not prepare for. She started screaming at me through the glass as if she didn't know me and what am I doing there, what gave me the idea to come to her job, who am I, and that I need to leave right away, to get the fuck out because im embarrassing her..etc...and my friend heard it all and so did all the strangers looking at me.
My heart broke, my face changed a few shades of green, and I feeling like shit is an understatement. On top of that I had to take a glass elevator down with my friend who looked like he'd seen a ghost.
We drank like sailors that night...almost got alcohol poisoning. Didn't help that I'd see her at school and seeing herwhen I hung that group of friends.
For a very, very, long time after that I had no trust in women and wore a very thick suit of armor (metaphorically) not letting anybody get too close to me.
TL; DR: Girl I was dating invited me to see her after work then acted like she didn't know me when I got there in front of her coworkers, strangers, and my best friend
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqc0ry | My sophomore year in college I started dating this really cute girl that hung out with my group of friends and went to the same university as I did. Things were going well first three weeks (besides an awkward first date in which I back my car into a has station garbage can and had my hungry stomach growl the entire time we were at the movies).
One day she asked if I was free in the evening and I said I'd visit her after work as she was getting out. Now, I've been telling my best friend about her and how great she is and as these positive things about her. He agreed to go with me since I was o ly visiting here and then go grab a drink at a bar in downtown after. We get to her job, she worked retail in a rise, my friend stayed behind some so I can talk to her and maybe introduce him. I ask her coworker if she's available and she goes to get her, I smile as I see shes all dressed up for work and looks great....but what happened next I could not prepare for. She started screaming at me through the glass as if she didn't know me and what am I doing there, what gave me the idea to come to her job, who am I, and that I need to leave right away, to get the fuck out because im embarrassing her..etc...and my friend heard it all and so did all the strangers looking at me.
My heart broke, my face changed a few shades of green, and I feeling like shit is an understatement. On top of that I had to take a glass elevator down with my friend who looked like he'd seen a ghost.
We drank like sailors that night...almost got alcohol poisoning. Didn't help that I'd see her at school and seeing herwhen I hung that group of friends.
For a very, very, long time after that I had no trust in women and wore a very thick suit of armor (metaphorically) not letting anybody get too close to me. | Girl I was dating invited me to see her after work then acted like she didn't know me when I got there in front of her coworkers, strangers, and my best friend |
Schmigdon | When I was 14 my best friend since pre-school was diagnosed with AML. I remember the exact time of day, what I was doing, what I was eating for supper that night... It was a punch to the heart.
He went through the whole treatment routine a the sick kids hospital (about 7-hour away from our hometown) for about a year. His family was well to do and since I live on an island and was only in high school with no form of travel and independence, his family would get me out to the hospital every other weekend and holidays. I spent over 60% of my weekends in the city with him. He was my best friend and I needed to be there with him. I knew there was very little I could do to make him better, but at the very least I needed to be there. After about a year they decided that a bone marrow transplant was necessary. Turned out his younger brother was the only viable donor.
This was especially amazing news to everyone who knew the family as the younger brother was diagnosed with a mutated form of meningitis at the age of 3 and slipped into a 2 month coma and was not expected to survive. His grandfather was holding his hand one night and passed out on the side of his bed and woke up early the next morning to the younger brother asking for pancakes. So naturally, everyone was saying the who reason for the younger brother surviving was to save his older brother. It's all very poetic.
So off they went to the sick kids hospital in Toronto and had the transplant. I wasn't allowed to Toronto to visit since he was pretty tightly quarantined. The day he arrived back home myself and a few family members were at the hospital making his room more comfortable. He came down the hall and I was so happy! I hadn't seen him for over a month! That was a new record! After some hellos and hugs we took a walk down to the hall to the private waiting room. It was empty and he sat me down and told me that the bone marrow didn't take and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. He said he was home to live out the rest of what was left of his life. I was effing crushed! He then asked me not to tell anyone because he didn't want to be treated like a baby when we were with friends. The rest of the school year was torture! But he was my best friend. I had to do what he asked!
Come May of 2004, I had a trip planned with my father. It was a little father-son bonding trip we had been planning since 2002. We flying to London and taking the train through Europe for a couple weeks. I told him I was cancelling the trip and I would go another time. He knew how long I had been planning the trip and refused to let me. After me insisting that I wouldn't go, he finally said that if I didn't go he would not allow me to come over or to speak to me for the entire time I was supposed to be gone. I reluctantly went.
As I was getting ready to leave I stopped in to say "see you in a couple weeks" and his grandfather gave me a big hug and said "he'll be here when you get back." So off I went. I called every night to chat with him or his family. Whoever was available. On the day we were leaving to head back to St. John's, I called but there was no answer. I was fine with this as he had been in such a great mood the day before and, all things considered, he was healthy. I land in St. John's on the evening of the 14th and we start the drive across the island to get home ASAP. It's roughly a 6h30m drive to my home town. We stopped half way for a pit stop. It was around 8:30pm when I was walking back to the car and I got an incredible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just knew I needed to get home. We arrived home shortly before midnight. I ran into the house and hugged my mom and went to the phone. She tried to run an interference asking about my trip. I knew at that moment that something happened. She sat me down and told me he passed away at 8:00pm that night. I was like a rock. I knew it was coming, I just thought I'd have time to see him before he left.
The next day at the cemetery, his grandfather comes over to me and grabs me and says "He knew you were back safe and sound. He just couldn't hold on any longer. I'm sorry." I hadn't so much as sniffled up to that point. I looked over his shoulder as he was hugging me and spotted my friends mother. She was an inconsolable wreck. Hundreds of people were around her, but no one was with her, so I excused myself from grandpa and walked over to her and gave her a hug. She squeezed me so hard and let out the most haunting sound that I can still hear a decade later. That's when my heart broke for the first time in my life.
TLDR; childhood best friend battled cancer and lost. | When I was 14 my best friend since pre-school was diagnosed with AML. I remember the exact time of day, what I was doing, what I was eating for supper that night... It was a punch to the heart.
He went through the whole treatment routine a the sick kids hospital (about 7-hour away from our hometown) for about a year. His family was well to do and since I live on an island and was only in high school with no form of travel and independence, his family would get me out to the hospital every other weekend and holidays. I spent over 60% of my weekends in the city with him. He was my best friend and I needed to be there with him. I knew there was very little I could do to make him better, but at the very least I needed to be there. After about a year they decided that a bone marrow transplant was necessary. Turned out his younger brother was the only viable donor.
This was especially amazing news to everyone who knew the family as the younger brother was diagnosed with a mutated form of meningitis at the age of 3 and slipped into a 2 month coma and was not expected to survive. His grandfather was holding his hand one night and passed out on the side of his bed and woke up early the next morning to the younger brother asking for pancakes. So naturally, everyone was saying the who reason for the younger brother surviving was to save his older brother. It's all very poetic.
So off they went to the sick kids hospital in Toronto and had the transplant. I wasn't allowed to Toronto to visit since he was pretty tightly quarantined. The day he arrived back home myself and a few family members were at the hospital making his room more comfortable. He came down the hall and I was so happy! I hadn't seen him for over a month! That was a new record! After some hellos and hugs we took a walk down to the hall to the private waiting room. It was empty and he sat me down and told me that the bone marrow didn't take and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. He said he was home to live out the rest of what was left of his life. I was effing crushed! He then asked me not to tell anyone because he didn't want to be treated like a baby when we were with friends. The rest of the school year was torture! But he was my best friend. I had to do what he asked!
Come May of 2004, I had a trip planned with my father. It was a little father-son bonding trip we had been planning since 2002. We flying to London and taking the train through Europe for a couple weeks. I told him I was cancelling the trip and I would go another time. He knew how long I had been planning the trip and refused to let me. After me insisting that I wouldn't go, he finally said that if I didn't go he would not allow me to come over or to speak to me for the entire time I was supposed to be gone. I reluctantly went.
As I was getting ready to leave I stopped in to say "see you in a couple weeks" and his grandfather gave me a big hug and said "he'll be here when you get back." So off I went. I called every night to chat with him or his family. Whoever was available. On the day we were leaving to head back to St. John's, I called but there was no answer. I was fine with this as he had been in such a great mood the day before and, all things considered, he was healthy. I land in St. John's on the evening of the 14th and we start the drive across the island to get home ASAP. It's roughly a 6h30m drive to my home town. We stopped half way for a pit stop. It was around 8:30pm when I was walking back to the car and I got an incredible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just knew I needed to get home. We arrived home shortly before midnight. I ran into the house and hugged my mom and went to the phone. She tried to run an interference asking about my trip. I knew at that moment that something happened. She sat me down and told me he passed away at 8:00pm that night. I was like a rock. I knew it was coming, I just thought I'd have time to see him before he left.
The next day at the cemetery, his grandfather comes over to me and grabs me and says "He knew you were back safe and sound. He just couldn't hold on any longer. I'm sorry." I hadn't so much as sniffled up to that point. I looked over his shoulder as he was hugging me and spotted my friends mother. She was an inconsolable wreck. Hundreds of people were around her, but no one was with her, so I excused myself from grandpa and walked over to her and gave her a hug. She squeezed me so hard and let out the most haunting sound that I can still hear a decade later. That's when my heart broke for the first time in my life.
TLDR; childhood best friend battled cancer and lost.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqc0xz | When I was 14 my best friend since pre-school was diagnosed with AML. I remember the exact time of day, what I was doing, what I was eating for supper that night... It was a punch to the heart.
He went through the whole treatment routine a the sick kids hospital (about 7-hour away from our hometown) for about a year. His family was well to do and since I live on an island and was only in high school with no form of travel and independence, his family would get me out to the hospital every other weekend and holidays. I spent over 60% of my weekends in the city with him. He was my best friend and I needed to be there with him. I knew there was very little I could do to make him better, but at the very least I needed to be there. After about a year they decided that a bone marrow transplant was necessary. Turned out his younger brother was the only viable donor.
This was especially amazing news to everyone who knew the family as the younger brother was diagnosed with a mutated form of meningitis at the age of 3 and slipped into a 2 month coma and was not expected to survive. His grandfather was holding his hand one night and passed out on the side of his bed and woke up early the next morning to the younger brother asking for pancakes. So naturally, everyone was saying the who reason for the younger brother surviving was to save his older brother. It's all very poetic.
So off they went to the sick kids hospital in Toronto and had the transplant. I wasn't allowed to Toronto to visit since he was pretty tightly quarantined. The day he arrived back home myself and a few family members were at the hospital making his room more comfortable. He came down the hall and I was so happy! I hadn't seen him for over a month! That was a new record! After some hellos and hugs we took a walk down to the hall to the private waiting room. It was empty and he sat me down and told me that the bone marrow didn't take and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. He said he was home to live out the rest of what was left of his life. I was effing crushed! He then asked me not to tell anyone because he didn't want to be treated like a baby when we were with friends. The rest of the school year was torture! But he was my best friend. I had to do what he asked!
Come May of 2004, I had a trip planned with my father. It was a little father-son bonding trip we had been planning since 2002. We flying to London and taking the train through Europe for a couple weeks. I told him I was cancelling the trip and I would go another time. He knew how long I had been planning the trip and refused to let me. After me insisting that I wouldn't go, he finally said that if I didn't go he would not allow me to come over or to speak to me for the entire time I was supposed to be gone. I reluctantly went.
As I was getting ready to leave I stopped in to say "see you in a couple weeks" and his grandfather gave me a big hug and said "he'll be here when you get back." So off I went. I called every night to chat with him or his family. Whoever was available. On the day we were leaving to head back to St. John's, I called but there was no answer. I was fine with this as he had been in such a great mood the day before and, all things considered, he was healthy. I land in St. John's on the evening of the 14th and we start the drive across the island to get home ASAP. It's roughly a 6h30m drive to my home town. We stopped half way for a pit stop. It was around 8:30pm when I was walking back to the car and I got an incredible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just knew I needed to get home. We arrived home shortly before midnight. I ran into the house and hugged my mom and went to the phone. She tried to run an interference asking about my trip. I knew at that moment that something happened. She sat me down and told me he passed away at 8:00pm that night. I was like a rock. I knew it was coming, I just thought I'd have time to see him before he left.
The next day at the cemetery, his grandfather comes over to me and grabs me and says "He knew you were back safe and sound. He just couldn't hold on any longer. I'm sorry." I hadn't so much as sniffled up to that point. I looked over his shoulder as he was hugging me and spotted my friends mother. She was an inconsolable wreck. Hundreds of people were around her, but no one was with her, so I excused myself from grandpa and walked over to her and gave her a hug. She squeezed me so hard and let out the most haunting sound that I can still hear a decade later. That's when my heart broke for the first time in my life. | childhood best friend battled cancer and lost. |
casualdelirium | This story happened in after transferring schools during my 3rd year in college.
For some background, my first school was a very unique liberal arts college (though, I suppose most people who go to liberal arts colleges describe their school that way). We were an honors college, and we had very liberal social policies. We didn't have grades, and there was a permanent "No Shoes Required" rule. The best way I can clue you in to the type of people that went there is to mention that the majority of my friends from that school are regular attendees at Burning Man. Needless to say, promiscuity was not at all frowned upon (not that I think it should be). That being said, I was not particularly promiscuous. I was still a virgin when I arrived at the school, and I made progress while there, albeit slow.
When I decided to transfer schools, I understood that I had been used to a certain level of wild abandon that I probably wouldn't experience at the commuter school in my home town. So, I think I overcompensated. Anyway, to finish up the background section of this post, I wound up with a girlfriend who expected me to be a lot more aggressive, but I pulled the punches, so to speak, because I was worried about coming across too crazy.
Well, her and I had been dating for a measly 3 months, and it was painfully obvious that she wasn't terribly into me. She thought I was cute, but my lack of aggressiveness turned her off I guess. She was used to guys who would just take her, and that wasn't really my style. She also tended to treat me like dirt. Whenever she had friends around, they were always more important than me - it was that feeling you get around an SO's friends that you need to sort of earn their trust...only your SO isn't really being a sponsor for you...in fact is probably being the loudest voice against you.
Well, she was originally from NYC and was going back there for Xmas break. I had no intentions of visiting her as I didn't have the means. She didn't seem to troubled by that. My mom surprised me with news that she knew someone who had an apartment up there that would be empty for a few weeks, and would I like a plane ticket as a Xmas present to visit my girlfriend? Of course I said yes, and then told the "exciting" news to my girlfriend. She played it off well, but I'm not a bad people reader and I could tell she was less than thrilled.
While I was in NY with her, I was very often deflected or left alone while she ran off with friends. Eventually we decided we were going to take some X and have a little party. On New Year's Eve. We took it, and discovered for the first time that it is, in fact, possible to have a bad time on that drug.
She pretty much ignored me all night. The few times I tried to get her attention felt like trying to flag down a bartender. All business. Her friends were nice enough to me, but all I got from her all nights were weird pitiful looks. When midnight hit, I couldn't even get her to kiss me. It was New Years, and we were rolling. She had every excuse to want to make out with someone, and I was her boyfriend, and she wouldn't even fucking kiss me.
The next morning I caught a train back into the city. Through a misunderstanding, I ended being an hour and a half early for it. And it was an above ground line. and it was 12 degrees outside. And I'd just had one of the worst nights of my life.
I'd say that shattered me, ruined me, and broke my heart completely.
TL;DR GF ignores me while we're rolling on New Year's Eve, teaches me that you can, in fact, have a bad roll. | This story happened in after transferring schools during my 3rd year in college.
For some background, my first school was a very unique liberal arts college (though, I suppose most people who go to liberal arts colleges describe their school that way). We were an honors college, and we had very liberal social policies. We didn't have grades, and there was a permanent "No Shoes Required" rule. The best way I can clue you in to the type of people that went there is to mention that the majority of my friends from that school are regular attendees at Burning Man. Needless to say, promiscuity was not at all frowned upon (not that I think it should be). That being said, I was not particularly promiscuous. I was still a virgin when I arrived at the school, and I made progress while there, albeit slow.
When I decided to transfer schools, I understood that I had been used to a certain level of wild abandon that I probably wouldn't experience at the commuter school in my home town. So, I think I overcompensated. Anyway, to finish up the background section of this post, I wound up with a girlfriend who expected me to be a lot more aggressive, but I pulled the punches, so to speak, because I was worried about coming across too crazy.
Well, her and I had been dating for a measly 3 months, and it was painfully obvious that she wasn't terribly into me. She thought I was cute, but my lack of aggressiveness turned her off I guess. She was used to guys who would just take her, and that wasn't really my style. She also tended to treat me like dirt. Whenever she had friends around, they were always more important than me - it was that feeling you get around an SO's friends that you need to sort of earn their trust...only your SO isn't really being a sponsor for you...in fact is probably being the loudest voice against you.
Well, she was originally from NYC and was going back there for Xmas break. I had no intentions of visiting her as I didn't have the means. She didn't seem to troubled by that. My mom surprised me with news that she knew someone who had an apartment up there that would be empty for a few weeks, and would I like a plane ticket as a Xmas present to visit my girlfriend? Of course I said yes, and then told the "exciting" news to my girlfriend. She played it off well, but I'm not a bad people reader and I could tell she was less than thrilled.
While I was in NY with her, I was very often deflected or left alone while she ran off with friends. Eventually we decided we were going to take some X and have a little party. On New Year's Eve. We took it, and discovered for the first time that it is, in fact, possible to have a bad time on that drug.
She pretty much ignored me all night. The few times I tried to get her attention felt like trying to flag down a bartender. All business. Her friends were nice enough to me, but all I got from her all nights were weird pitiful looks. When midnight hit, I couldn't even get her to kiss me. It was New Years, and we were rolling. She had every excuse to want to make out with someone, and I was her boyfriend, and she wouldn't even fucking kiss me.
The next morning I caught a train back into the city. Through a misunderstanding, I ended being an hour and a half early for it. And it was an above ground line. and it was 12 degrees outside. And I'd just had one of the worst nights of my life.
I'd say that shattered me, ruined me, and broke my heart completely.
TL;DR GF ignores me while we're rolling on New Year's Eve, teaches me that you can, in fact, have a bad roll.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqc1wp | This story happened in after transferring schools during my 3rd year in college.
For some background, my first school was a very unique liberal arts college (though, I suppose most people who go to liberal arts colleges describe their school that way). We were an honors college, and we had very liberal social policies. We didn't have grades, and there was a permanent "No Shoes Required" rule. The best way I can clue you in to the type of people that went there is to mention that the majority of my friends from that school are regular attendees at Burning Man. Needless to say, promiscuity was not at all frowned upon (not that I think it should be). That being said, I was not particularly promiscuous. I was still a virgin when I arrived at the school, and I made progress while there, albeit slow.
When I decided to transfer schools, I understood that I had been used to a certain level of wild abandon that I probably wouldn't experience at the commuter school in my home town. So, I think I overcompensated. Anyway, to finish up the background section of this post, I wound up with a girlfriend who expected me to be a lot more aggressive, but I pulled the punches, so to speak, because I was worried about coming across too crazy.
Well, her and I had been dating for a measly 3 months, and it was painfully obvious that she wasn't terribly into me. She thought I was cute, but my lack of aggressiveness turned her off I guess. She was used to guys who would just take her, and that wasn't really my style. She also tended to treat me like dirt. Whenever she had friends around, they were always more important than me - it was that feeling you get around an SO's friends that you need to sort of earn their trust...only your SO isn't really being a sponsor for you...in fact is probably being the loudest voice against you.
Well, she was originally from NYC and was going back there for Xmas break. I had no intentions of visiting her as I didn't have the means. She didn't seem to troubled by that. My mom surprised me with news that she knew someone who had an apartment up there that would be empty for a few weeks, and would I like a plane ticket as a Xmas present to visit my girlfriend? Of course I said yes, and then told the "exciting" news to my girlfriend. She played it off well, but I'm not a bad people reader and I could tell she was less than thrilled.
While I was in NY with her, I was very often deflected or left alone while she ran off with friends. Eventually we decided we were going to take some X and have a little party. On New Year's Eve. We took it, and discovered for the first time that it is, in fact, possible to have a bad time on that drug.
She pretty much ignored me all night. The few times I tried to get her attention felt like trying to flag down a bartender. All business. Her friends were nice enough to me, but all I got from her all nights were weird pitiful looks. When midnight hit, I couldn't even get her to kiss me. It was New Years, and we were rolling. She had every excuse to want to make out with someone, and I was her boyfriend, and she wouldn't even fucking kiss me.
The next morning I caught a train back into the city. Through a misunderstanding, I ended being an hour and a half early for it. And it was an above ground line. and it was 12 degrees outside. And I'd just had one of the worst nights of my life.
I'd say that shattered me, ruined me, and broke my heart completely. | GF ignores me while we're rolling on New Year's Eve, teaches me that you can, in fact, have a bad roll. |
GhostNightgown | When I was getting a check-up as a part of prepping for baby making, they found bad cells (pre-cancer). After a year of escalating tests, biopsies and worsening diagnosis... Hysterectomy.
At my check-up post surgery, the doc told me a 'hilarious' story about the pathologist calling her to raise concerns that there were zero signs of cancer - asking if there had been a horrible mistake. She laughed about it and said 'oh well, you were getting too old to have kids anyway'. I was 35. Women regularly have kids in their late 30's and early 40's. I know it's not ideal - but not so risky that it needs a hysterectomy to prevent.
tl;dr - doc recommended and did unnecessary hysterectomy and laughed after | When I was getting a check-up as a part of prepping for baby making, they found bad cells (pre-cancer). After a year of escalating tests, biopsies and worsening diagnosis... Hysterectomy.
At my check-up post surgery, the doc told me a 'hilarious' story about the pathologist calling her to raise concerns that there were zero signs of cancer - asking if there had been a horrible mistake. She laughed about it and said 'oh well, you were getting too old to have kids anyway'. I was 35. Women regularly have kids in their late 30's and early 40's. I know it's not ideal - but not so risky that it needs a hysterectomy to prevent.
tl;dr - doc recommended and did unnecessary hysterectomy and laughed after
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqc26k | When I was getting a check-up as a part of prepping for baby making, they found bad cells (pre-cancer). After a year of escalating tests, biopsies and worsening diagnosis... Hysterectomy.
At my check-up post surgery, the doc told me a 'hilarious' story about the pathologist calling her to raise concerns that there were zero signs of cancer - asking if there had been a horrible mistake. She laughed about it and said 'oh well, you were getting too old to have kids anyway'. I was 35. Women regularly have kids in their late 30's and early 40's. I know it's not ideal - but not so risky that it needs a hysterectomy to prevent. | doc recommended and did unnecessary hysterectomy and laughed after |
super_pickle | I spent two and a half years with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. He cheated about 10 times that I know about, but I'm sure there were a few other times I never found out about. He was verbally and emotionally abusive- everything was always my fault, I made him act that way, I was the problem. If I tried to push him towards therapy, he'd either shut down, threaten me, or turn it around on me. He'd tell horrible lies about me to everyone he knew, so that they would hate me too and encourage his shitty treatment of me. Then he would use the fact that they all hated me based on his lies to prove to me that I was unloveable. Some of the things that stick out in my mind were when I was running to the store (a few friends were over and we ran out of wine) and told him he didn't have to come with, it would only take 10 minutes. He pulled me aside later to tell me it wasn't cool to be so "reverse controlling" and make him look stupid in front of my friends. I had no idea what he was talking about, and told him I really hadn't cared about him coming to the store. But the second day, when my friends were gone, he screamed at me for hours about what a bitch I'd been. I found out that week that an old friend had passed away and my best friend had been diagnosed with an uncurable disease, and called my ex, upset. He told me I was just trying to cause drama to make him feel bad because he'd called me out for being such a bitch about the whole going-to-the-store thing, and dumped me. It was basically two years of examples like that. We finally broke up because he wanted to go to an orgy (we started swinging because it was the only way he would stop cheating) and I said we could go, but as everyone there was 30+ years older than us, he couldn't force me to have sex with them. He told me that I must not love him, that he was only using me for sex so I'd better do everything he wanted, and then dumped me when I still said no.
All that stuff damaged me, but it wasn't what broke me completely. Through it all I tried my best to just understand his mental disease, I knew how much he suffered and how bad his depressions and panic attacks were, and I tried to always stand by him and just gently lead him towards therapy. And I knew it wasn't my fault, although it's impossible to be treated that way for so long and not have it seep into your head. You *know* it isn't true, but you still start to believe it. Maybe it really is my fault he got so mad, maybe I do make him act that way, maybe I do deserve it. Now's a good time to mention I grew up with an emotionally abusive father, so I'm sure that's a large part of why I accepted my ex's actions as love. Anyway, after we broke up, he got himself into a lot of trouble. He works with kids, and a parent of one of the kids found his ad on Craig's List casual encounters saying he wanted to get high and suck off a stranger. (He was a sex addict, so men, women, old, fat, didn't really matter to him- he even cheated on me with an old woman with MS because he figured she'd be so desperate he could make her do anything he wanted. I heard he made her have a bondage threesome with him and some old dude he met on sex websites.) Anyway the parent anonymously told everyone else he works with through an email, and so to save his job he told everyone I'd made up the whole email and posed as him online and stuff. He even told his parents this. I tried calling him a few times to tell him it wasn't cool, but he'd threaten to cause trouble at my job to get me fired, he'd kill my cat, he "cut off my tits and shove one down my throat and the other up my pussy", etc etc. I called the police and filed a complaint, then decided it was better to just cut off contact and let him lie to people about me than get back into the drama. It still killed me though, knowing his family that I'd been spending holidays with and having Sunday dinners with for years, were being told that about me.
The moment that completely shattered me, though: our last phone call. He told me I was genetically damaged, because he knew my dad had been an asshole and was accusing my mom of stupid shit too. No one would ever love me because of it. That he was finally willing to admit he did have some mental problems, because you'd have to be fucked in the head to love someone like me. My dad was actually a saint for waiting until I was 17 to kick me out, it must've been hell to put up with me for that long. My dad probably did the best he could, but I was such a bitch that it was impossible even for my own parents to love me. On and on like that.
He basically took my darkest fears and demons, a childhood of being told through words and actions that I deserved abuse and was worthless, and confirmed them all. If anyone out there has ever been abused as a child, you know that somewhere deep down, even though you know it's not true, you feel like you must've deserved it. And here was this person I loved, and who said he loved me, confirming all those horrors. Telling me I did deserve it, and no one would ever love me because of it. And then he said he'd sue me or hurt me if I ever told anyone the truth about what had happened between us, never to contact him again, and hung up.
When we got off the phone I cried for hours. I literally thought I would die. I was crying so hard I couldn't breath. I think I actually did black out for a short time because I couldn't stop the sobs long enough to get any oxygen. I did talk to him again recently, and he just started therapy and is on Xanax. He is only a few weeks in, so he still hasn't been diagnosed or properly treated, so he still blamed me for everything and refused to apologize. I'm in a slightly better place now and accept that he'd just fucked in the head and needs help, but it still hurts. I hope one day he actually does get better, and I hope that day he's willing to call me and apologize. Because as much as I *know* it wasn't my fault, it still hurts like it was.
**tl;dr**: Grew up with an abusive father, ended up dating someone with borderline personality disorder who could be very abusive. I confided my past in him, and he used it to prove that I deserved abuse, because even my own parents couldn't love me. Said my dad was actually a saint for waiting until I was 17 to kick me out, because putting up with me for that long must've been hell and it's a wonder he didn't abuse me more. | I spent two and a half years with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. He cheated about 10 times that I know about, but I'm sure there were a few other times I never found out about. He was verbally and emotionally abusive- everything was always my fault, I made him act that way, I was the problem. If I tried to push him towards therapy, he'd either shut down, threaten me, or turn it around on me. He'd tell horrible lies about me to everyone he knew, so that they would hate me too and encourage his shitty treatment of me. Then he would use the fact that they all hated me based on his lies to prove to me that I was unloveable. Some of the things that stick out in my mind were when I was running to the store (a few friends were over and we ran out of wine) and told him he didn't have to come with, it would only take 10 minutes. He pulled me aside later to tell me it wasn't cool to be so "reverse controlling" and make him look stupid in front of my friends. I had no idea what he was talking about, and told him I really hadn't cared about him coming to the store. But the second day, when my friends were gone, he screamed at me for hours about what a bitch I'd been. I found out that week that an old friend had passed away and my best friend had been diagnosed with an uncurable disease, and called my ex, upset. He told me I was just trying to cause drama to make him feel bad because he'd called me out for being such a bitch about the whole going-to-the-store thing, and dumped me. It was basically two years of examples like that. We finally broke up because he wanted to go to an orgy (we started swinging because it was the only way he would stop cheating) and I said we could go, but as everyone there was 30+ years older than us, he couldn't force me to have sex with them. He told me that I must not love him, that he was only using me for sex so I'd better do everything he wanted, and then dumped me when I still said no.
All that stuff damaged me, but it wasn't what broke me completely. Through it all I tried my best to just understand his mental disease, I knew how much he suffered and how bad his depressions and panic attacks were, and I tried to always stand by him and just gently lead him towards therapy. And I knew it wasn't my fault, although it's impossible to be treated that way for so long and not have it seep into your head. You know it isn't true, but you still start to believe it. Maybe it really is my fault he got so mad, maybe I do make him act that way, maybe I do deserve it. Now's a good time to mention I grew up with an emotionally abusive father, so I'm sure that's a large part of why I accepted my ex's actions as love. Anyway, after we broke up, he got himself into a lot of trouble. He works with kids, and a parent of one of the kids found his ad on Craig's List casual encounters saying he wanted to get high and suck off a stranger. (He was a sex addict, so men, women, old, fat, didn't really matter to him- he even cheated on me with an old woman with MS because he figured she'd be so desperate he could make her do anything he wanted. I heard he made her have a bondage threesome with him and some old dude he met on sex websites.) Anyway the parent anonymously told everyone else he works with through an email, and so to save his job he told everyone I'd made up the whole email and posed as him online and stuff. He even told his parents this. I tried calling him a few times to tell him it wasn't cool, but he'd threaten to cause trouble at my job to get me fired, he'd kill my cat, he "cut off my tits and shove one down my throat and the other up my pussy", etc etc. I called the police and filed a complaint, then decided it was better to just cut off contact and let him lie to people about me than get back into the drama. It still killed me though, knowing his family that I'd been spending holidays with and having Sunday dinners with for years, were being told that about me.
The moment that completely shattered me, though: our last phone call. He told me I was genetically damaged, because he knew my dad had been an asshole and was accusing my mom of stupid shit too. No one would ever love me because of it. That he was finally willing to admit he did have some mental problems, because you'd have to be fucked in the head to love someone like me. My dad was actually a saint for waiting until I was 17 to kick me out, it must've been hell to put up with me for that long. My dad probably did the best he could, but I was such a bitch that it was impossible even for my own parents to love me. On and on like that.
He basically took my darkest fears and demons, a childhood of being told through words and actions that I deserved abuse and was worthless, and confirmed them all. If anyone out there has ever been abused as a child, you know that somewhere deep down, even though you know it's not true, you feel like you must've deserved it. And here was this person I loved, and who said he loved me, confirming all those horrors. Telling me I did deserve it, and no one would ever love me because of it. And then he said he'd sue me or hurt me if I ever told anyone the truth about what had happened between us, never to contact him again, and hung up.
When we got off the phone I cried for hours. I literally thought I would die. I was crying so hard I couldn't breath. I think I actually did black out for a short time because I couldn't stop the sobs long enough to get any oxygen. I did talk to him again recently, and he just started therapy and is on Xanax. He is only a few weeks in, so he still hasn't been diagnosed or properly treated, so he still blamed me for everything and refused to apologize. I'm in a slightly better place now and accept that he'd just fucked in the head and needs help, but it still hurts. I hope one day he actually does get better, and I hope that day he's willing to call me and apologize. Because as much as I know it wasn't my fault, it still hurts like it was.
tl;dr : Grew up with an abusive father, ended up dating someone with borderline personality disorder who could be very abusive. I confided my past in him, and he used it to prove that I deserved abuse, because even my own parents couldn't love me. Said my dad was actually a saint for waiting until I was 17 to kick me out, because putting up with me for that long must've been hell and it's a wonder he didn't abuse me more.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqc2by | I spent two and a half years with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. He cheated about 10 times that I know about, but I'm sure there were a few other times I never found out about. He was verbally and emotionally abusive- everything was always my fault, I made him act that way, I was the problem. If I tried to push him towards therapy, he'd either shut down, threaten me, or turn it around on me. He'd tell horrible lies about me to everyone he knew, so that they would hate me too and encourage his shitty treatment of me. Then he would use the fact that they all hated me based on his lies to prove to me that I was unloveable. Some of the things that stick out in my mind were when I was running to the store (a few friends were over and we ran out of wine) and told him he didn't have to come with, it would only take 10 minutes. He pulled me aside later to tell me it wasn't cool to be so "reverse controlling" and make him look stupid in front of my friends. I had no idea what he was talking about, and told him I really hadn't cared about him coming to the store. But the second day, when my friends were gone, he screamed at me for hours about what a bitch I'd been. I found out that week that an old friend had passed away and my best friend had been diagnosed with an uncurable disease, and called my ex, upset. He told me I was just trying to cause drama to make him feel bad because he'd called me out for being such a bitch about the whole going-to-the-store thing, and dumped me. It was basically two years of examples like that. We finally broke up because he wanted to go to an orgy (we started swinging because it was the only way he would stop cheating) and I said we could go, but as everyone there was 30+ years older than us, he couldn't force me to have sex with them. He told me that I must not love him, that he was only using me for sex so I'd better do everything he wanted, and then dumped me when I still said no.
All that stuff damaged me, but it wasn't what broke me completely. Through it all I tried my best to just understand his mental disease, I knew how much he suffered and how bad his depressions and panic attacks were, and I tried to always stand by him and just gently lead him towards therapy. And I knew it wasn't my fault, although it's impossible to be treated that way for so long and not have it seep into your head. You know it isn't true, but you still start to believe it. Maybe it really is my fault he got so mad, maybe I do make him act that way, maybe I do deserve it. Now's a good time to mention I grew up with an emotionally abusive father, so I'm sure that's a large part of why I accepted my ex's actions as love. Anyway, after we broke up, he got himself into a lot of trouble. He works with kids, and a parent of one of the kids found his ad on Craig's List casual encounters saying he wanted to get high and suck off a stranger. (He was a sex addict, so men, women, old, fat, didn't really matter to him- he even cheated on me with an old woman with MS because he figured she'd be so desperate he could make her do anything he wanted. I heard he made her have a bondage threesome with him and some old dude he met on sex websites.) Anyway the parent anonymously told everyone else he works with through an email, and so to save his job he told everyone I'd made up the whole email and posed as him online and stuff. He even told his parents this. I tried calling him a few times to tell him it wasn't cool, but he'd threaten to cause trouble at my job to get me fired, he'd kill my cat, he "cut off my tits and shove one down my throat and the other up my pussy", etc etc. I called the police and filed a complaint, then decided it was better to just cut off contact and let him lie to people about me than get back into the drama. It still killed me though, knowing his family that I'd been spending holidays with and having Sunday dinners with for years, were being told that about me.
The moment that completely shattered me, though: our last phone call. He told me I was genetically damaged, because he knew my dad had been an asshole and was accusing my mom of stupid shit too. No one would ever love me because of it. That he was finally willing to admit he did have some mental problems, because you'd have to be fucked in the head to love someone like me. My dad was actually a saint for waiting until I was 17 to kick me out, it must've been hell to put up with me for that long. My dad probably did the best he could, but I was such a bitch that it was impossible even for my own parents to love me. On and on like that.
He basically took my darkest fears and demons, a childhood of being told through words and actions that I deserved abuse and was worthless, and confirmed them all. If anyone out there has ever been abused as a child, you know that somewhere deep down, even though you know it's not true, you feel like you must've deserved it. And here was this person I loved, and who said he loved me, confirming all those horrors. Telling me I did deserve it, and no one would ever love me because of it. And then he said he'd sue me or hurt me if I ever told anyone the truth about what had happened between us, never to contact him again, and hung up.
When we got off the phone I cried for hours. I literally thought I would die. I was crying so hard I couldn't breath. I think I actually did black out for a short time because I couldn't stop the sobs long enough to get any oxygen. I did talk to him again recently, and he just started therapy and is on Xanax. He is only a few weeks in, so he still hasn't been diagnosed or properly treated, so he still blamed me for everything and refused to apologize. I'm in a slightly better place now and accept that he'd just fucked in the head and needs help, but it still hurts. I hope one day he actually does get better, and I hope that day he's willing to call me and apologize. Because as much as I know it wasn't my fault, it still hurts like it was. | Grew up with an abusive father, ended up dating someone with borderline personality disorder who could be very abusive. I confided my past in him, and he used it to prove that I deserved abuse, because even my own parents couldn't love me. Said my dad was actually a saint for waiting until I was 17 to kick me out, because putting up with me for that long must've been hell and it's a wonder he didn't abuse me more. |
AutumnsLeaves | When I was in middle school I wasn't popular at all, I was the "weird girl" and I got bullied by almost everyone in my class. We had an anti-bullying assembly and a teacher went up to the mic after the assembly was over and said "we are very lucky at our school, because we are respectful and we are mindful of others' feelings" in tears I stood up, walked to the mic, and spilled my heart about how terrible everyone made me feel, everyone bullies me yada yada yada... Well the next day at school everyone was really nice to me. TOO nice. I didn't sit alone at lunch for two straight weeks, and even got asked to the spring fling! It felt.... good. But it was short-lived. the day before the dance no one talked to me, all of the tables were full at lunch. I asked one of the girls what was going on, had someone died? Nope. She replied with "did you really think we were friends with you? HA"
they put on a show so that the faculty would think I was a drama queen and that I was lying. I had never felt so awful. I felt so unwanted.
TL;DR whole class made me believe they were my friends to avoid getting in trouble for bullying. Once teachers forgot about it, they dropped the act. | When I was in middle school I wasn't popular at all, I was the "weird girl" and I got bullied by almost everyone in my class. We had an anti-bullying assembly and a teacher went up to the mic after the assembly was over and said "we are very lucky at our school, because we are respectful and we are mindful of others' feelings" in tears I stood up, walked to the mic, and spilled my heart about how terrible everyone made me feel, everyone bullies me yada yada yada... Well the next day at school everyone was really nice to me. TOO nice. I didn't sit alone at lunch for two straight weeks, and even got asked to the spring fling! It felt.... good. But it was short-lived. the day before the dance no one talked to me, all of the tables were full at lunch. I asked one of the girls what was going on, had someone died? Nope. She replied with "did you really think we were friends with you? HA"
they put on a show so that the faculty would think I was a drama queen and that I was lying. I had never felt so awful. I felt so unwanted.
TL;DR whole class made me believe they were my friends to avoid getting in trouble for bullying. Once teachers forgot about it, they dropped the act.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqc80t | When I was in middle school I wasn't popular at all, I was the "weird girl" and I got bullied by almost everyone in my class. We had an anti-bullying assembly and a teacher went up to the mic after the assembly was over and said "we are very lucky at our school, because we are respectful and we are mindful of others' feelings" in tears I stood up, walked to the mic, and spilled my heart about how terrible everyone made me feel, everyone bullies me yada yada yada... Well the next day at school everyone was really nice to me. TOO nice. I didn't sit alone at lunch for two straight weeks, and even got asked to the spring fling! It felt.... good. But it was short-lived. the day before the dance no one talked to me, all of the tables were full at lunch. I asked one of the girls what was going on, had someone died? Nope. She replied with "did you really think we were friends with you? HA"
they put on a show so that the faculty would think I was a drama queen and that I was lying. I had never felt so awful. I felt so unwanted. | whole class made me believe they were my friends to avoid getting in trouble for bullying. Once teachers forgot about it, they dropped the act. |
fuzzymae | Last Christmas morning.
Christmas was my favorite. No matter what. I'd come home no matter where I was or what I was doing, and I'd wake up in my parents' house and I'd have something great to surprise them with and I'd see all my extended family the next day and everything was warm and nice and most of all I could count on them to behave.
Cause, you see, my mom is sick. Decades of what I'm sure is untreated depression have broken her. She did nothing with her life but take care of her children and now does nothing but take care of her parents. She loves her family but she's miserable and since my teens she's been emotionally abusive to her immediate family. She used to spend all night every night screaming at my dad. If you say the wrong thing, her switch will flip, and she'll scream at you, and then not speak to you for days. She won't get help. Too proud, or simply unable to ever admit she's wrong.
Last year she did it on Christmas Eve. Both parents had been sniping at me about my lack of plans for children (which was oddly out of character) and when I called them out on it I started a fire. My mom screamed at me and screamed at my husband and went to bed and woke up and screamed at us again. She got in my husband's face and screamed at him for all the time we spend with his family, and for insulting her son by suggesting my brother might have a baby out of wedlock with his girlfriend. (I found out later she knew they were trying and had no immediate plans to marry.)
No presents were had. No family anything. I felt like the lone survivor in a bombed-out city watching everyone on Facebook exchanging gifts and baking cookies and having family breakfast. I'd never felt so cold inside. Then we went over to my aunt's, and my mom pretended everything was fine and played with my cousin's 2-year-old and then didn't speak to anyone for two days and shoved me and my husband on a bus home.
I'd been part of this for years, and if she wanted to kick the emotional stuffing out of me, that was fine, but she hadn't the right to pull this on my husband. So I haven't been back to their house since, and they in turn haven't really had any use for me. I'm just... not on their radar. They never call, they've emailed about twice in one year, they've never once visited in the six and a half years I've lived here. Can't leave the grandparents, you see. But, somehow, they always manage to find time for my brother and his impending child...
TL;DR: losing your family hurts, and you have to slowly redefine everything for yourself. | Last Christmas morning.
Christmas was my favorite. No matter what. I'd come home no matter where I was or what I was doing, and I'd wake up in my parents' house and I'd have something great to surprise them with and I'd see all my extended family the next day and everything was warm and nice and most of all I could count on them to behave.
Cause, you see, my mom is sick. Decades of what I'm sure is untreated depression have broken her. She did nothing with her life but take care of her children and now does nothing but take care of her parents. She loves her family but she's miserable and since my teens she's been emotionally abusive to her immediate family. She used to spend all night every night screaming at my dad. If you say the wrong thing, her switch will flip, and she'll scream at you, and then not speak to you for days. She won't get help. Too proud, or simply unable to ever admit she's wrong.
Last year she did it on Christmas Eve. Both parents had been sniping at me about my lack of plans for children (which was oddly out of character) and when I called them out on it I started a fire. My mom screamed at me and screamed at my husband and went to bed and woke up and screamed at us again. She got in my husband's face and screamed at him for all the time we spend with his family, and for insulting her son by suggesting my brother might have a baby out of wedlock with his girlfriend. (I found out later she knew they were trying and had no immediate plans to marry.)
No presents were had. No family anything. I felt like the lone survivor in a bombed-out city watching everyone on Facebook exchanging gifts and baking cookies and having family breakfast. I'd never felt so cold inside. Then we went over to my aunt's, and my mom pretended everything was fine and played with my cousin's 2-year-old and then didn't speak to anyone for two days and shoved me and my husband on a bus home.
I'd been part of this for years, and if she wanted to kick the emotional stuffing out of me, that was fine, but she hadn't the right to pull this on my husband. So I haven't been back to their house since, and they in turn haven't really had any use for me. I'm just... not on their radar. They never call, they've emailed about twice in one year, they've never once visited in the six and a half years I've lived here. Can't leave the grandparents, you see. But, somehow, they always manage to find time for my brother and his impending child...
TL;DR: losing your family hurts, and you have to slowly redefine everything for yourself.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcfdn | Last Christmas morning.
Christmas was my favorite. No matter what. I'd come home no matter where I was or what I was doing, and I'd wake up in my parents' house and I'd have something great to surprise them with and I'd see all my extended family the next day and everything was warm and nice and most of all I could count on them to behave.
Cause, you see, my mom is sick. Decades of what I'm sure is untreated depression have broken her. She did nothing with her life but take care of her children and now does nothing but take care of her parents. She loves her family but she's miserable and since my teens she's been emotionally abusive to her immediate family. She used to spend all night every night screaming at my dad. If you say the wrong thing, her switch will flip, and she'll scream at you, and then not speak to you for days. She won't get help. Too proud, or simply unable to ever admit she's wrong.
Last year she did it on Christmas Eve. Both parents had been sniping at me about my lack of plans for children (which was oddly out of character) and when I called them out on it I started a fire. My mom screamed at me and screamed at my husband and went to bed and woke up and screamed at us again. She got in my husband's face and screamed at him for all the time we spend with his family, and for insulting her son by suggesting my brother might have a baby out of wedlock with his girlfriend. (I found out later she knew they were trying and had no immediate plans to marry.)
No presents were had. No family anything. I felt like the lone survivor in a bombed-out city watching everyone on Facebook exchanging gifts and baking cookies and having family breakfast. I'd never felt so cold inside. Then we went over to my aunt's, and my mom pretended everything was fine and played with my cousin's 2-year-old and then didn't speak to anyone for two days and shoved me and my husband on a bus home.
I'd been part of this for years, and if she wanted to kick the emotional stuffing out of me, that was fine, but she hadn't the right to pull this on my husband. So I haven't been back to their house since, and they in turn haven't really had any use for me. I'm just... not on their radar. They never call, they've emailed about twice in one year, they've never once visited in the six and a half years I've lived here. Can't leave the grandparents, you see. But, somehow, they always manage to find time for my brother and his impending child... | losing your family hurts, and you have to slowly redefine everything for yourself. |
thehiddenpen | I would have to say walking in and finding my dad on the couch after he had suffered a second "aneurysm/stroke".
I was fifteen and had just come home from my job. My dad had called a neighbor to pick me up because he said he didn't feel well. I had talked to him about ten minutes before that, trying to figure out why he was taking so long to come and pick me up (I worked about a ten minute drive from my house, thirty minutes walking). He had sounded funny on the phone, which made me antsy, but I was rationalizing it. (It was August, it was hot, we didn't have the air conditioning on, so he was just a little heatsick, etc).
Then I walked through the door, and he didn't answer when I called out. I remember walking into our kitchen and seeing the back door open, and my eyes going to our living room. We had white carpeting, and I can still see these bright red blood drops and one big red stain on it. My dad had made it to the couch and was sort of just sitting there, his head lolling on the headrest. He was as white as a sheet, which is saying something when he embodies the Irish stereotype.
At this point I thought he was dead. My CPR/First Aid training that I had received at my job kicked in, and I went and prodded his shoulder while calling out to him. If anyone has ever felt someone's skin after they have lost a lot of blood/go into shock, it feels kind of rubbery and not human. He sort of roused, and asked me for a drink of water because he felt parched. I, being an idiot teenager, went and got it for him as I began frantically calling my mother, who was out of town with my sibling for a sporting event. None of the calls were going through, and I found out later that the arena they were in was cutting out cell phone reception.
At this point I told my dad I was going to call 911. He said not to, that he didn't feel too bad. So, ignoring everything that I had learned in my classes, I agreed, still calling my mother. After another minute, he tried to stand, saying that he didn't feel too good. I say tried because he wobbled and almost fell as soon as he stood up. I managed to grab him and bring him to the bathroom, where he began to vomit up what looked like (and I later found out was) blood. I gave up and called 911, realizing that this was way out of my league.
When the EMTs and fire department showed up, everyone on our street came out to see, which turned out to be a good thing for me. I wasn't allowed to come along in the ambulance, and since I was unable to drive myself, one of my neighbors took me to the hospital while another closed up our house. I had grabbed my dad's wallet after he told me to (after I told him that I was calling 911), and his glasses, since he was under the impression that he would need them.
It sucks to be fifteen and checking someone into the emergency room at a hospital. Granted, my dad already had a bed and doctors looking after him, but it sucks. The nurse behind the desk didn't believe me at first when I told her I was fifteen, but after my neighbor confirmed it, she was much more helpful in showing me what I had to fill out. I probably shouldn't have told her my age, however, because they wouldn't allow me back to see him because I was a minor.
This is something that I remembered my aunt telling me, because she used to work as a nurse in a hospital. If the person is DOA, and there is no legal family member(of majority) or person in charge of the other person (as legally disabled, my dad has someone in charge of his medical things), they won't tell you anything. I finally got ahold of my mom, who called my nurse aunt and grandmother, both who have that ability. (My mom later added me as one of these even though I was underage, since this had happened and I was the only one home. She thought I was mature enough to handle it.) My aunt completely strongarmed the nurses into telling her the situation and allowing me back to see my father.
He survived, thankfully. The doctors still aren't completely sure what happened, but assume, due to the MRI/CAT scans, that he had another bleed or stroke (I'm not completely sure, but that sounds about right). But it fucks you up, to come home and see a parental figure like that. Granted, I had a great support system, but no kid should have to see their parent like that.
TL:DR: Read the damn thing. I've been holding that in for six years. | I would have to say walking in and finding my dad on the couch after he had suffered a second "aneurysm/stroke".
I was fifteen and had just come home from my job. My dad had called a neighbor to pick me up because he said he didn't feel well. I had talked to him about ten minutes before that, trying to figure out why he was taking so long to come and pick me up (I worked about a ten minute drive from my house, thirty minutes walking). He had sounded funny on the phone, which made me antsy, but I was rationalizing it. (It was August, it was hot, we didn't have the air conditioning on, so he was just a little heatsick, etc).
Then I walked through the door, and he didn't answer when I called out. I remember walking into our kitchen and seeing the back door open, and my eyes going to our living room. We had white carpeting, and I can still see these bright red blood drops and one big red stain on it. My dad had made it to the couch and was sort of just sitting there, his head lolling on the headrest. He was as white as a sheet, which is saying something when he embodies the Irish stereotype.
At this point I thought he was dead. My CPR/First Aid training that I had received at my job kicked in, and I went and prodded his shoulder while calling out to him. If anyone has ever felt someone's skin after they have lost a lot of blood/go into shock, it feels kind of rubbery and not human. He sort of roused, and asked me for a drink of water because he felt parched. I, being an idiot teenager, went and got it for him as I began frantically calling my mother, who was out of town with my sibling for a sporting event. None of the calls were going through, and I found out later that the arena they were in was cutting out cell phone reception.
At this point I told my dad I was going to call 911. He said not to, that he didn't feel too bad. So, ignoring everything that I had learned in my classes, I agreed, still calling my mother. After another minute, he tried to stand, saying that he didn't feel too good. I say tried because he wobbled and almost fell as soon as he stood up. I managed to grab him and bring him to the bathroom, where he began to vomit up what looked like (and I later found out was) blood. I gave up and called 911, realizing that this was way out of my league.
When the EMTs and fire department showed up, everyone on our street came out to see, which turned out to be a good thing for me. I wasn't allowed to come along in the ambulance, and since I was unable to drive myself, one of my neighbors took me to the hospital while another closed up our house. I had grabbed my dad's wallet after he told me to (after I told him that I was calling 911), and his glasses, since he was under the impression that he would need them.
It sucks to be fifteen and checking someone into the emergency room at a hospital. Granted, my dad already had a bed and doctors looking after him, but it sucks. The nurse behind the desk didn't believe me at first when I told her I was fifteen, but after my neighbor confirmed it, she was much more helpful in showing me what I had to fill out. I probably shouldn't have told her my age, however, because they wouldn't allow me back to see him because I was a minor.
This is something that I remembered my aunt telling me, because she used to work as a nurse in a hospital. If the person is DOA, and there is no legal family member(of majority) or person in charge of the other person (as legally disabled, my dad has someone in charge of his medical things), they won't tell you anything. I finally got ahold of my mom, who called my nurse aunt and grandmother, both who have that ability. (My mom later added me as one of these even though I was underage, since this had happened and I was the only one home. She thought I was mature enough to handle it.) My aunt completely strongarmed the nurses into telling her the situation and allowing me back to see my father.
He survived, thankfully. The doctors still aren't completely sure what happened, but assume, due to the MRI/CAT scans, that he had another bleed or stroke (I'm not completely sure, but that sounds about right). But it fucks you up, to come home and see a parental figure like that. Granted, I had a great support system, but no kid should have to see their parent like that.
TL:DR: Read the damn thing. I've been holding that in for six years.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcfhg | I would have to say walking in and finding my dad on the couch after he had suffered a second "aneurysm/stroke".
I was fifteen and had just come home from my job. My dad had called a neighbor to pick me up because he said he didn't feel well. I had talked to him about ten minutes before that, trying to figure out why he was taking so long to come and pick me up (I worked about a ten minute drive from my house, thirty minutes walking). He had sounded funny on the phone, which made me antsy, but I was rationalizing it. (It was August, it was hot, we didn't have the air conditioning on, so he was just a little heatsick, etc).
Then I walked through the door, and he didn't answer when I called out. I remember walking into our kitchen and seeing the back door open, and my eyes going to our living room. We had white carpeting, and I can still see these bright red blood drops and one big red stain on it. My dad had made it to the couch and was sort of just sitting there, his head lolling on the headrest. He was as white as a sheet, which is saying something when he embodies the Irish stereotype.
At this point I thought he was dead. My CPR/First Aid training that I had received at my job kicked in, and I went and prodded his shoulder while calling out to him. If anyone has ever felt someone's skin after they have lost a lot of blood/go into shock, it feels kind of rubbery and not human. He sort of roused, and asked me for a drink of water because he felt parched. I, being an idiot teenager, went and got it for him as I began frantically calling my mother, who was out of town with my sibling for a sporting event. None of the calls were going through, and I found out later that the arena they were in was cutting out cell phone reception.
At this point I told my dad I was going to call 911. He said not to, that he didn't feel too bad. So, ignoring everything that I had learned in my classes, I agreed, still calling my mother. After another minute, he tried to stand, saying that he didn't feel too good. I say tried because he wobbled and almost fell as soon as he stood up. I managed to grab him and bring him to the bathroom, where he began to vomit up what looked like (and I later found out was) blood. I gave up and called 911, realizing that this was way out of my league.
When the EMTs and fire department showed up, everyone on our street came out to see, which turned out to be a good thing for me. I wasn't allowed to come along in the ambulance, and since I was unable to drive myself, one of my neighbors took me to the hospital while another closed up our house. I had grabbed my dad's wallet after he told me to (after I told him that I was calling 911), and his glasses, since he was under the impression that he would need them.
It sucks to be fifteen and checking someone into the emergency room at a hospital. Granted, my dad already had a bed and doctors looking after him, but it sucks. The nurse behind the desk didn't believe me at first when I told her I was fifteen, but after my neighbor confirmed it, she was much more helpful in showing me what I had to fill out. I probably shouldn't have told her my age, however, because they wouldn't allow me back to see him because I was a minor.
This is something that I remembered my aunt telling me, because she used to work as a nurse in a hospital. If the person is DOA, and there is no legal family member(of majority) or person in charge of the other person (as legally disabled, my dad has someone in charge of his medical things), they won't tell you anything. I finally got ahold of my mom, who called my nurse aunt and grandmother, both who have that ability. (My mom later added me as one of these even though I was underage, since this had happened and I was the only one home. She thought I was mature enough to handle it.) My aunt completely strongarmed the nurses into telling her the situation and allowing me back to see my father.
He survived, thankfully. The doctors still aren't completely sure what happened, but assume, due to the MRI/CAT scans, that he had another bleed or stroke (I'm not completely sure, but that sounds about right). But it fucks you up, to come home and see a parental figure like that. Granted, I had a great support system, but no kid should have to see their parent like that. | Read the damn thing. I've been holding that in for six years. |
_silas | Loss of life takes its toll on those emotionally attached to that love one and while I can relate to bereavement, I would want to go onto something less 'permanent'. I'll try keep it brief..
So I had many insecurities, I had some anxiety issues, I wasn't new to the dating game but past relationships were never meaningful; it was just 'a bit of fun' you know.. going out, making out, partying, little room to talk and truly know each others ideals, quirky habits, spectrum.
I finally found a girl who not only cared enough to actually get to know me, and accepted me for who I was (a poverty struck black kid with a dysfunctional family) she was a whole different class to me: Privately educated, Successful family members, White (haha not sure why I added this)
Our relationship only lasted for a bit over two years but it was the best two years I have ever had in my life. I remember realising she wanted me for me when I lied about where I lived initially to try impress her (not sure how I honestly expected to hold that) but she could see through me and told me to just be honest "be straight like a ruler" was her expression "I want you for you". She could read me like a book, and I to her, we just knew eachother, our hobbies, ideologies, passion aligned. And as we grew closer my 'money' insecurity slowly faded just by her proving she actually meant those words throughout our relationship.
Anyhow I totally fell in love with this girl after a few months of us dating. We shared many "first time" moments together, plus she was smart (academically and socially), very attractive (such a head turner), logical, empathetical, reliable - any guys dream girl.
One thing that amazed me was she was willing to make so many sacrifices for me some poor kid.. The idea of eloping seriously came up time to time (I am not religious, her family want her husband to be the same religion as them, presumably as successful also). It truly was one of those love stories where love is supposed to conquer all.
So how did I fuck this up? I dealt with bereavement very badly, I totally stonewalled this amazing girl, who would call me repeatedly every day and send so many texts (if her family knew they'd go mental she was taking these big risks to talk to me, be with me) I didn't talk to her, let her know how I felt; all my insecurities resurfaced, some new demons had spawned.
I just didn't want to trouble her, I wanted her but I wanted her at my 'happy self' she is already sacrificing so much just to date me, why must I add more stress?
Of course a girl can only wait for so long, I remember emailing her telling me to forget about me, that I am a waste of space, bad news, she shouldn't waste her time.. I seriously broke her heart and realising what I did to her made my depression worst, I dropped out of Uni, binged on shitty foods. I've only recently recovered from it (Gym is a second home, back into studies etc)
Part of me wants her to see this post, to realise I am sorry, but it'll never happen. I've tried emailing her, searching her up on facebook, contacting her friends but I guess it isn't to be, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason - but I guess our hurt was mutually bad, my depression ruined something that truly could have been beautiful. I don't even wish to contact her for a relationship anymore, of course if she was willing I'd be game; but I just want her to know how sorry I am, and I want to make her happy, as a friend. I want to free her, in any way I can, support her when she is upset, and experience her joy when she is happy, like old times, it was nothing to do with lust or status like my previous relationships, this one felt real and its foundation was friendship.
Nowadays I could just be doing something random: walking my dog, sitting at a cafe, playing a video game, reading a book and I'll randomly remember her, what we could have had, and what I threw away.. and it breaks my heart to realise how what I did probably shattered her.
TL;DR - I ruined something wonderful | Loss of life takes its toll on those emotionally attached to that love one and while I can relate to bereavement, I would want to go onto something less 'permanent'. I'll try keep it brief..
So I had many insecurities, I had some anxiety issues, I wasn't new to the dating game but past relationships were never meaningful; it was just 'a bit of fun' you know.. going out, making out, partying, little room to talk and truly know each others ideals, quirky habits, spectrum.
I finally found a girl who not only cared enough to actually get to know me, and accepted me for who I was (a poverty struck black kid with a dysfunctional family) she was a whole different class to me: Privately educated, Successful family members, White (haha not sure why I added this)
Our relationship only lasted for a bit over two years but it was the best two years I have ever had in my life. I remember realising she wanted me for me when I lied about where I lived initially to try impress her (not sure how I honestly expected to hold that) but she could see through me and told me to just be honest "be straight like a ruler" was her expression "I want you for you". She could read me like a book, and I to her, we just knew eachother, our hobbies, ideologies, passion aligned. And as we grew closer my 'money' insecurity slowly faded just by her proving she actually meant those words throughout our relationship.
Anyhow I totally fell in love with this girl after a few months of us dating. We shared many "first time" moments together, plus she was smart (academically and socially), very attractive (such a head turner), logical, empathetical, reliable - any guys dream girl.
One thing that amazed me was she was willing to make so many sacrifices for me some poor kid.. The idea of eloping seriously came up time to time (I am not religious, her family want her husband to be the same religion as them, presumably as successful also). It truly was one of those love stories where love is supposed to conquer all.
So how did I fuck this up? I dealt with bereavement very badly, I totally stonewalled this amazing girl, who would call me repeatedly every day and send so many texts (if her family knew they'd go mental she was taking these big risks to talk to me, be with me) I didn't talk to her, let her know how I felt; all my insecurities resurfaced, some new demons had spawned.
I just didn't want to trouble her, I wanted her but I wanted her at my 'happy self' she is already sacrificing so much just to date me, why must I add more stress?
Of course a girl can only wait for so long, I remember emailing her telling me to forget about me, that I am a waste of space, bad news, she shouldn't waste her time.. I seriously broke her heart and realising what I did to her made my depression worst, I dropped out of Uni, binged on shitty foods. I've only recently recovered from it (Gym is a second home, back into studies etc)
Part of me wants her to see this post, to realise I am sorry, but it'll never happen. I've tried emailing her, searching her up on facebook, contacting her friends but I guess it isn't to be, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason - but I guess our hurt was mutually bad, my depression ruined something that truly could have been beautiful. I don't even wish to contact her for a relationship anymore, of course if she was willing I'd be game; but I just want her to know how sorry I am, and I want to make her happy, as a friend. I want to free her, in any way I can, support her when she is upset, and experience her joy when she is happy, like old times, it was nothing to do with lust or status like my previous relationships, this one felt real and its foundation was friendship.
Nowadays I could just be doing something random: walking my dog, sitting at a cafe, playing a video game, reading a book and I'll randomly remember her, what we could have had, and what I threw away.. and it breaks my heart to realise how what I did probably shattered her.
TL;DR - I ruined something wonderful
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqci2q | Loss of life takes its toll on those emotionally attached to that love one and while I can relate to bereavement, I would want to go onto something less 'permanent'. I'll try keep it brief..
So I had many insecurities, I had some anxiety issues, I wasn't new to the dating game but past relationships were never meaningful; it was just 'a bit of fun' you know.. going out, making out, partying, little room to talk and truly know each others ideals, quirky habits, spectrum.
I finally found a girl who not only cared enough to actually get to know me, and accepted me for who I was (a poverty struck black kid with a dysfunctional family) she was a whole different class to me: Privately educated, Successful family members, White (haha not sure why I added this)
Our relationship only lasted for a bit over two years but it was the best two years I have ever had in my life. I remember realising she wanted me for me when I lied about where I lived initially to try impress her (not sure how I honestly expected to hold that) but she could see through me and told me to just be honest "be straight like a ruler" was her expression "I want you for you". She could read me like a book, and I to her, we just knew eachother, our hobbies, ideologies, passion aligned. And as we grew closer my 'money' insecurity slowly faded just by her proving she actually meant those words throughout our relationship.
Anyhow I totally fell in love with this girl after a few months of us dating. We shared many "first time" moments together, plus she was smart (academically and socially), very attractive (such a head turner), logical, empathetical, reliable - any guys dream girl.
One thing that amazed me was she was willing to make so many sacrifices for me some poor kid.. The idea of eloping seriously came up time to time (I am not religious, her family want her husband to be the same religion as them, presumably as successful also). It truly was one of those love stories where love is supposed to conquer all.
So how did I fuck this up? I dealt with bereavement very badly, I totally stonewalled this amazing girl, who would call me repeatedly every day and send so many texts (if her family knew they'd go mental she was taking these big risks to talk to me, be with me) I didn't talk to her, let her know how I felt; all my insecurities resurfaced, some new demons had spawned.
I just didn't want to trouble her, I wanted her but I wanted her at my 'happy self' she is already sacrificing so much just to date me, why must I add more stress?
Of course a girl can only wait for so long, I remember emailing her telling me to forget about me, that I am a waste of space, bad news, she shouldn't waste her time.. I seriously broke her heart and realising what I did to her made my depression worst, I dropped out of Uni, binged on shitty foods. I've only recently recovered from it (Gym is a second home, back into studies etc)
Part of me wants her to see this post, to realise I am sorry, but it'll never happen. I've tried emailing her, searching her up on facebook, contacting her friends but I guess it isn't to be, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason - but I guess our hurt was mutually bad, my depression ruined something that truly could have been beautiful. I don't even wish to contact her for a relationship anymore, of course if she was willing I'd be game; but I just want her to know how sorry I am, and I want to make her happy, as a friend. I want to free her, in any way I can, support her when she is upset, and experience her joy when she is happy, like old times, it was nothing to do with lust or status like my previous relationships, this one felt real and its foundation was friendship.
Nowadays I could just be doing something random: walking my dog, sitting at a cafe, playing a video game, reading a book and I'll randomly remember her, what we could have had, and what I threw away.. and it breaks my heart to realise how what I did probably shattered her. | I ruined something wonderful |
eve- | I went to a Top 10 high school my Sophomore year, a magnet school for Maths and Sciences. My boyfriend of almost two years came with me. I am an introvert; he is an extrovert. Our relationship fell apart after a month there and it seemed like the entire (tiny, <140 person) student body was "on his side", so I had a lot of trouble making friends.
I ended up with a crowd of people also suffering from depression. We all fought, but we were all very close. When the girl I was closest to was sent home for "mental health" reasons, I ended up spending most of my time with a boy, Chez. He was Catholic to my atheist; country to my whatever the fuck you call the genres played at Warped Tour, farm boy to my city. I never worried about whether he was "into me" (I wasn't into him)... We just spent as much time together as possible, exploring the campus and surrounding areas.
The week before winter break, I received a message in this Facebook app called "honesty box" that let you send messages anonymously. It was about a thousand words, all about how this individual had failed in school and thus failed their family. I had no idea who it was from; I wrote back and tried to comfort and reassure him/her, but never received a response. A few days later, the night before the break, I had a really weird dream. I floated down the hall and across the lobby, into the boy's wing, and into Chez's room, which I had never seen. He was standing in front of his dresser using his MacBook. I told him I loved him, and he responded "it's too late now. You should have told me earlier in the semester." Then we kissed. I woke up all freaked out because yeah, I love him as a friend, but not like that!
Everyone was packed, the buses were loaded, and we were saying our good-byes, yet no one had seen Chez. With all the asking around, I discovered no one in his classes had seem him show up for/turn in a single final/midterm. An older student finally used a stolen master key to get into his room, where he was sleeping very heavily. He was roused, though, and I hugged him goodbye before boarding the bus. My good friend who was sent home invited me come visit for a little while, and they picked me up straight off the bus.
Two days into our visit, I was telling yet another story about Chez and I's adventures when her mother came downstairs. "girls, can I come in?" "Sure" "so what do you know about this kid who died? I heard it was a snowmobiling accident" "... We don't know anything, what was his name?" "[Chez]" I fainted dead away. Within a day or two, we discovered that he had died in his garage, of carbon monoxide poisoning, with a very high concentration of diphenhydramine (Benadryl/Nytol) in his system. I had told him, almost two months prior, that Bendryl was a great way to escape the world. One cheap over the counter pill, and you sleep for hours. I felt so guilty. I then realized the anonymous message had been from him -- and, in this light, was very clearly a suicide note. I submitted a print-out as well as a statement about discussing suicide and Benadryl to him, but the police decided it was an accident. It hurt so much to be at the funeral, and hear his family in total denial of his suicide. To this day, only a few people "believe in" his suicide. I feel he deserves to have his death known as the choice it was. It is demeaning to think he'd be so stupid as to sit in his sealed garage and repeatedly rev his broken truck, generating carbon monoxide, and just not realize what he was doing. He was so much smarter than that.
But, his death isn't what shattered me. I know he wanted it and, having been there myself, I am only sad that no one could help him enough. I am glad he is free.
What destroyed me came months later. A mutual friend casually mentioned "that time you stood Chez up". I asked him to clarify. Apparently, when we were first getting to know each other, he asked me to go to the pizza place down the road and I agreed. We went there often; I'm not sure whether this was the first time. But he bought me flowers. It was the first time he'd ever asked anyone on a date. I had a bad day and slept through the afternoon and night, not even bothering to inform him I wouldn't be there. He died a kissless virgin. I wonder if he would have died at all, if I had known. I must have destroyed what little self-esteem he had by acting so horribly, and I have never forgiven myself.
*tl;dr* unknowingly stood up a boy who became a close friend; he later killed himself. | I went to a Top 10 high school my Sophomore year, a magnet school for Maths and Sciences. My boyfriend of almost two years came with me. I am an introvert; he is an extrovert. Our relationship fell apart after a month there and it seemed like the entire (tiny, <140 person) student body was "on his side", so I had a lot of trouble making friends.
I ended up with a crowd of people also suffering from depression. We all fought, but we were all very close. When the girl I was closest to was sent home for "mental health" reasons, I ended up spending most of my time with a boy, Chez. He was Catholic to my atheist; country to my whatever the fuck you call the genres played at Warped Tour, farm boy to my city. I never worried about whether he was "into me" (I wasn't into him)... We just spent as much time together as possible, exploring the campus and surrounding areas.
The week before winter break, I received a message in this Facebook app called "honesty box" that let you send messages anonymously. It was about a thousand words, all about how this individual had failed in school and thus failed their family. I had no idea who it was from; I wrote back and tried to comfort and reassure him/her, but never received a response. A few days later, the night before the break, I had a really weird dream. I floated down the hall and across the lobby, into the boy's wing, and into Chez's room, which I had never seen. He was standing in front of his dresser using his MacBook. I told him I loved him, and he responded "it's too late now. You should have told me earlier in the semester." Then we kissed. I woke up all freaked out because yeah, I love him as a friend, but not like that!
Everyone was packed, the buses were loaded, and we were saying our good-byes, yet no one had seen Chez. With all the asking around, I discovered no one in his classes had seem him show up for/turn in a single final/midterm. An older student finally used a stolen master key to get into his room, where he was sleeping very heavily. He was roused, though, and I hugged him goodbye before boarding the bus. My good friend who was sent home invited me come visit for a little while, and they picked me up straight off the bus.
Two days into our visit, I was telling yet another story about Chez and I's adventures when her mother came downstairs. "girls, can I come in?" "Sure" "so what do you know about this kid who died? I heard it was a snowmobiling accident" "... We don't know anything, what was his name?" "[Chez]" I fainted dead away. Within a day or two, we discovered that he had died in his garage, of carbon monoxide poisoning, with a very high concentration of diphenhydramine (Benadryl/Nytol) in his system. I had told him, almost two months prior, that Bendryl was a great way to escape the world. One cheap over the counter pill, and you sleep for hours. I felt so guilty. I then realized the anonymous message had been from him -- and, in this light, was very clearly a suicide note. I submitted a print-out as well as a statement about discussing suicide and Benadryl to him, but the police decided it was an accident. It hurt so much to be at the funeral, and hear his family in total denial of his suicide. To this day, only a few people "believe in" his suicide. I feel he deserves to have his death known as the choice it was. It is demeaning to think he'd be so stupid as to sit in his sealed garage and repeatedly rev his broken truck, generating carbon monoxide, and just not realize what he was doing. He was so much smarter than that.
But, his death isn't what shattered me. I know he wanted it and, having been there myself, I am only sad that no one could help him enough. I am glad he is free.
What destroyed me came months later. A mutual friend casually mentioned "that time you stood Chez up". I asked him to clarify. Apparently, when we were first getting to know each other, he asked me to go to the pizza place down the road and I agreed. We went there often; I'm not sure whether this was the first time. But he bought me flowers. It was the first time he'd ever asked anyone on a date. I had a bad day and slept through the afternoon and night, not even bothering to inform him I wouldn't be there. He died a kissless virgin. I wonder if he would have died at all, if I had known. I must have destroyed what little self-esteem he had by acting so horribly, and I have never forgiven myself.
tl;dr unknowingly stood up a boy who became a close friend; he later killed himself.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcj9l | I went to a Top 10 high school my Sophomore year, a magnet school for Maths and Sciences. My boyfriend of almost two years came with me. I am an introvert; he is an extrovert. Our relationship fell apart after a month there and it seemed like the entire (tiny, <140 person) student body was "on his side", so I had a lot of trouble making friends.
I ended up with a crowd of people also suffering from depression. We all fought, but we were all very close. When the girl I was closest to was sent home for "mental health" reasons, I ended up spending most of my time with a boy, Chez. He was Catholic to my atheist; country to my whatever the fuck you call the genres played at Warped Tour, farm boy to my city. I never worried about whether he was "into me" (I wasn't into him)... We just spent as much time together as possible, exploring the campus and surrounding areas.
The week before winter break, I received a message in this Facebook app called "honesty box" that let you send messages anonymously. It was about a thousand words, all about how this individual had failed in school and thus failed their family. I had no idea who it was from; I wrote back and tried to comfort and reassure him/her, but never received a response. A few days later, the night before the break, I had a really weird dream. I floated down the hall and across the lobby, into the boy's wing, and into Chez's room, which I had never seen. He was standing in front of his dresser using his MacBook. I told him I loved him, and he responded "it's too late now. You should have told me earlier in the semester." Then we kissed. I woke up all freaked out because yeah, I love him as a friend, but not like that!
Everyone was packed, the buses were loaded, and we were saying our good-byes, yet no one had seen Chez. With all the asking around, I discovered no one in his classes had seem him show up for/turn in a single final/midterm. An older student finally used a stolen master key to get into his room, where he was sleeping very heavily. He was roused, though, and I hugged him goodbye before boarding the bus. My good friend who was sent home invited me come visit for a little while, and they picked me up straight off the bus.
Two days into our visit, I was telling yet another story about Chez and I's adventures when her mother came downstairs. "girls, can I come in?" "Sure" "so what do you know about this kid who died? I heard it was a snowmobiling accident" "... We don't know anything, what was his name?" "[Chez]" I fainted dead away. Within a day or two, we discovered that he had died in his garage, of carbon monoxide poisoning, with a very high concentration of diphenhydramine (Benadryl/Nytol) in his system. I had told him, almost two months prior, that Bendryl was a great way to escape the world. One cheap over the counter pill, and you sleep for hours. I felt so guilty. I then realized the anonymous message had been from him -- and, in this light, was very clearly a suicide note. I submitted a print-out as well as a statement about discussing suicide and Benadryl to him, but the police decided it was an accident. It hurt so much to be at the funeral, and hear his family in total denial of his suicide. To this day, only a few people "believe in" his suicide. I feel he deserves to have his death known as the choice it was. It is demeaning to think he'd be so stupid as to sit in his sealed garage and repeatedly rev his broken truck, generating carbon monoxide, and just not realize what he was doing. He was so much smarter than that.
But, his death isn't what shattered me. I know he wanted it and, having been there myself, I am only sad that no one could help him enough. I am glad he is free.
What destroyed me came months later. A mutual friend casually mentioned "that time you stood Chez up". I asked him to clarify. Apparently, when we were first getting to know each other, he asked me to go to the pizza place down the road and I agreed. We went there often; I'm not sure whether this was the first time. But he bought me flowers. It was the first time he'd ever asked anyone on a date. I had a bad day and slept through the afternoon and night, not even bothering to inform him I wouldn't be there. He died a kissless virgin. I wonder if he would have died at all, if I had known. I must have destroyed what little self-esteem he had by acting so horribly, and I have never forgiven myself. | unknowingly stood up a boy who became a close friend; he later killed himself. |
JackMLupin | I was in sixth grade, and that's a *very* bad time for shit to happen. Anyway, there was this girl in my English class that I really liked, and since almost all of my friends had 'relationships' (if you could even call them that...) I thought it would be amazing if I asked this girl out on a date. However, I never really knew how to approach her...sure, I talked to her a bit during English, but I never had the guts to actually ask her out. Now, I don't know if she figured out that I liked her, or if one of her friends told her, but one day she asked if I wanted to hang out with her at the local park over the weekend. Of course I said yes!
Fast forward to a couple days later, when we were suppose to meet up at the park. I got there a bit early, so I waited a bit for her to show up.
And waited. And waited. And waited.
I waited for...oh, I'd say about an hour. Being the naive little kid that I was, I just thought 'Oh, maybe she just forgot or something! That's fine!'
Fast forward to the next Monday. I met up with her during Lunch when she was sitting with all of her friends at a table. I walked up to her and said 'Hey, you must have been busy or something and couldn't show up at the park. That's fine, we can just get together another time!' She just looked at me and laughed.
I never thought laughter could hurt so much. To make it worse, she was with her 'clique', and *they* were all laughing at me. After she was done laughing, she looked me dead in the eyes and said 'Did you really think I would go out with a loser like you?' I just stood there speechless, not knowing what to say. One of her friends laughed 'Oh my God, is he going to start crying?!' I just walked away with tears in my eyes, and finished my lunch alone.
To make matters worse, she was a pretty popular kid, so by the next day almost the entire school knew about it, and how this annoying little kid asked her out. I didn't hear the end of it until the end of seventh grade.
**TL;DR:** Bitch asked me to meet her at the park, never showed up, and then had the whole school mock me for thinking I could go out with her. | I was in sixth grade, and that's a very bad time for shit to happen. Anyway, there was this girl in my English class that I really liked, and since almost all of my friends had 'relationships' (if you could even call them that...) I thought it would be amazing if I asked this girl out on a date. However, I never really knew how to approach her...sure, I talked to her a bit during English, but I never had the guts to actually ask her out. Now, I don't know if she figured out that I liked her, or if one of her friends told her, but one day she asked if I wanted to hang out with her at the local park over the weekend. Of course I said yes!
Fast forward to a couple days later, when we were suppose to meet up at the park. I got there a bit early, so I waited a bit for her to show up.
And waited. And waited. And waited.
I waited for...oh, I'd say about an hour. Being the naive little kid that I was, I just thought 'Oh, maybe she just forgot or something! That's fine!'
Fast forward to the next Monday. I met up with her during Lunch when she was sitting with all of her friends at a table. I walked up to her and said 'Hey, you must have been busy or something and couldn't show up at the park. That's fine, we can just get together another time!' She just looked at me and laughed.
I never thought laughter could hurt so much. To make it worse, she was with her 'clique', and they were all laughing at me. After she was done laughing, she looked me dead in the eyes and said 'Did you really think I would go out with a loser like you?' I just stood there speechless, not knowing what to say. One of her friends laughed 'Oh my God, is he going to start crying?!' I just walked away with tears in my eyes, and finished my lunch alone.
To make matters worse, she was a pretty popular kid, so by the next day almost the entire school knew about it, and how this annoying little kid asked her out. I didn't hear the end of it until the end of seventh grade.
TL;DR: Bitch asked me to meet her at the park, never showed up, and then had the whole school mock me for thinking I could go out with her.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcoyc | I was in sixth grade, and that's a very bad time for shit to happen. Anyway, there was this girl in my English class that I really liked, and since almost all of my friends had 'relationships' (if you could even call them that...) I thought it would be amazing if I asked this girl out on a date. However, I never really knew how to approach her...sure, I talked to her a bit during English, but I never had the guts to actually ask her out. Now, I don't know if she figured out that I liked her, or if one of her friends told her, but one day she asked if I wanted to hang out with her at the local park over the weekend. Of course I said yes!
Fast forward to a couple days later, when we were suppose to meet up at the park. I got there a bit early, so I waited a bit for her to show up.
And waited. And waited. And waited.
I waited for...oh, I'd say about an hour. Being the naive little kid that I was, I just thought 'Oh, maybe she just forgot or something! That's fine!'
Fast forward to the next Monday. I met up with her during Lunch when she was sitting with all of her friends at a table. I walked up to her and said 'Hey, you must have been busy or something and couldn't show up at the park. That's fine, we can just get together another time!' She just looked at me and laughed.
I never thought laughter could hurt so much. To make it worse, she was with her 'clique', and they were all laughing at me. After she was done laughing, she looked me dead in the eyes and said 'Did you really think I would go out with a loser like you?' I just stood there speechless, not knowing what to say. One of her friends laughed 'Oh my God, is he going to start crying?!' I just walked away with tears in my eyes, and finished my lunch alone.
To make matters worse, she was a pretty popular kid, so by the next day almost the entire school knew about it, and how this annoying little kid asked her out. I didn't hear the end of it until the end of seventh grade. | Bitch asked me to meet her at the park, never showed up, and then had the whole school mock me for thinking I could go out with her. |
NoseDragon | I didn't get picked to go up to the next level in Little League when I was 12, the last year I could play. This meant I was stuck with the littler kids and I was to old to pitch at that level.
My family life was horrible during that time, and my father was remarried to a drug addict and off driving a truck all but two or three days a year. I was the eldest son being raised by a single mom.
I was very tall, very athletic, and very good at baseball. I was the only kid to hit home runs over the fence the year before, and I hit 4. I was a good pitcher and first baseman, and I never lost my temper or my composure. I had been the best kid on my team.
When I went to the draft day and found out I didn't get picked up, the best thing in my life (and one of the only good things at that point) came crashing down. All the younger kids I had played with got drafted up, and once again, for some reason, I was stuck.
For the first time, it hit home that these things would continue happening to both myself and my little brother without a father. Even people who didn't really know me would treat me like shit because of my situation. I had already learned family could be cruel, but that was the moment I realized that life isn't fucking fair and sometimes no matter how good you are, people who barely know you will still shit all over you.
I ended up switching leagues, but I never really got over the heartbreak. I played two more years and stopped. That moment, and one final moment, destroyed the whole sport for me.
Any boy raised without a father has had to deal with these issues. You learn from a young age that schools treat you different, coaches sometimes treat you different, friend's parents, *girlfriend's* parents... Not only do we have to learn to be a man on our own (and often teach our younger brothers) but we have to put up with being stereotyped and expected to fail.
TL;DR The moment I learned how disadvantaged my youth would be without a father around. | I didn't get picked to go up to the next level in Little League when I was 12, the last year I could play. This meant I was stuck with the littler kids and I was to old to pitch at that level.
My family life was horrible during that time, and my father was remarried to a drug addict and off driving a truck all but two or three days a year. I was the eldest son being raised by a single mom.
I was very tall, very athletic, and very good at baseball. I was the only kid to hit home runs over the fence the year before, and I hit 4. I was a good pitcher and first baseman, and I never lost my temper or my composure. I had been the best kid on my team.
When I went to the draft day and found out I didn't get picked up, the best thing in my life (and one of the only good things at that point) came crashing down. All the younger kids I had played with got drafted up, and once again, for some reason, I was stuck.
For the first time, it hit home that these things would continue happening to both myself and my little brother without a father. Even people who didn't really know me would treat me like shit because of my situation. I had already learned family could be cruel, but that was the moment I realized that life isn't fucking fair and sometimes no matter how good you are, people who barely know you will still shit all over you.
I ended up switching leagues, but I never really got over the heartbreak. I played two more years and stopped. That moment, and one final moment, destroyed the whole sport for me.
Any boy raised without a father has had to deal with these issues. You learn from a young age that schools treat you different, coaches sometimes treat you different, friend's parents, girlfriend's parents... Not only do we have to learn to be a man on our own (and often teach our younger brothers) but we have to put up with being stereotyped and expected to fail.
TL;DR The moment I learned how disadvantaged my youth would be without a father around.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcrj0 | I didn't get picked to go up to the next level in Little League when I was 12, the last year I could play. This meant I was stuck with the littler kids and I was to old to pitch at that level.
My family life was horrible during that time, and my father was remarried to a drug addict and off driving a truck all but two or three days a year. I was the eldest son being raised by a single mom.
I was very tall, very athletic, and very good at baseball. I was the only kid to hit home runs over the fence the year before, and I hit 4. I was a good pitcher and first baseman, and I never lost my temper or my composure. I had been the best kid on my team.
When I went to the draft day and found out I didn't get picked up, the best thing in my life (and one of the only good things at that point) came crashing down. All the younger kids I had played with got drafted up, and once again, for some reason, I was stuck.
For the first time, it hit home that these things would continue happening to both myself and my little brother without a father. Even people who didn't really know me would treat me like shit because of my situation. I had already learned family could be cruel, but that was the moment I realized that life isn't fucking fair and sometimes no matter how good you are, people who barely know you will still shit all over you.
I ended up switching leagues, but I never really got over the heartbreak. I played two more years and stopped. That moment, and one final moment, destroyed the whole sport for me.
Any boy raised without a father has had to deal with these issues. You learn from a young age that schools treat you different, coaches sometimes treat you different, friend's parents, girlfriend's parents... Not only do we have to learn to be a man on our own (and often teach our younger brothers) but we have to put up with being stereotyped and expected to fail. | The moment I learned how disadvantaged my youth would be without a father around. |
Tavarian | I quit a job working for an abusive boss that refused to cash paychecks that bounced at the bank. When I inquired about it to him, he kicked me off his property and then had me arrested 2 weeks later by saying I stole items and just general BS. My arrest record made my labor dispute invalid So I lost 2 months of bac kpay and had to take a plea deal with the prosecutor because my lawyer stated that while it was he said he said I was the one in handcuffs and juries are very unreliable. I was never prosecuted but have lost faith both in my future and and the legal system.
TLDR: quit job because i couldn't cash paychecks, talk to former bass about it and the labor board, had me arrested to disqualify my labor board complaints. | I quit a job working for an abusive boss that refused to cash paychecks that bounced at the bank. When I inquired about it to him, he kicked me off his property and then had me arrested 2 weeks later by saying I stole items and just general BS. My arrest record made my labor dispute invalid So I lost 2 months of bac kpay and had to take a plea deal with the prosecutor because my lawyer stated that while it was he said he said I was the one in handcuffs and juries are very unreliable. I was never prosecuted but have lost faith both in my future and and the legal system.
TLDR: quit job because i couldn't cash paychecks, talk to former bass about it and the labor board, had me arrested to disqualify my labor board complaints.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcsdi | I quit a job working for an abusive boss that refused to cash paychecks that bounced at the bank. When I inquired about it to him, he kicked me off his property and then had me arrested 2 weeks later by saying I stole items and just general BS. My arrest record made my labor dispute invalid So I lost 2 months of bac kpay and had to take a plea deal with the prosecutor because my lawyer stated that while it was he said he said I was the one in handcuffs and juries are very unreliable. I was never prosecuted but have lost faith both in my future and and the legal system. | quit job because i couldn't cash paychecks, talk to former bass about it and the labor board, had me arrested to disqualify my labor board complaints. |
MNDGone | When my fiance left me almost 1 year ago. To this day I cant stop blaming and hating myself for ruining something that was so good.
It started in 2009, I was living in Europe at the time. I met her and was captivated, we wouldn't go out till a few months later though. After that I knew she was the girl of my dreams. Sadly though, I wasn't really one to be satisfied with just one girl at the time, so I when I went out I flirted with other girls, it wasn't about sleeping with someone new it was just the idea that a girl wanted to be with me that I liked. I kinda broke out of this shy nerd thing I had going on before, and now people wanted to be around me. It really went to my head around this time.
Fast forward some to 2010, I've moved to Berlin, and the girlfriend followed me to Germany, she went to Bremen to University so she could be near me. It was at this point I realized all the dumb things I was doing, and refused to go out drinking with friends and kinda became locked up in my work and personal things. I was trying to avoid any bad situations. When I did go out to have fun it was time off to go be with her. I knew at this point that I was in love, and it wasn't just her being in love with me anymore.
Well 2012 rolls around, and I head back to the states. I promise i'll visit her, and that im going to try to get into her university. During the time in the states I was thrilled to be home and back, and thats when I made the mistake. I ran into an ex and ended up doing something dumb. I knew I should have left and avoided but I stayed thinking I was in control, I mean I had control while I was in Germany. I guess it was kind of an illusion I built up, but I fooled around. Afterwards I knew I made a mistake, I told the girl that I couldn't see her or talk to her and that it was a huge mistake. After that I couldn't tell my girlfriend/fiancee now. I knew I should have, but I was afraid of losing her, especially with the distance we had between us now.
Time goes by some, and its nearing October/November. We had made plans over the summer to see each other during Thanksgiving. Well strange things happened in October, she was going out more with friends, talking to me less, and if I brought anything up like that she would get very aggressive towards me. I was really really worried, and I had a feeling she met someone else.
Thanksgiving rolls around and she doesn't want to meet at all. She wants to call off the wedding plans and just end it now. Her parents love me to death, they started saying I was the best thing ever to happen to her because I treated her so well, took her all over the world and genuinely made her happy. Inside I hated myself for cheating on her, but at this point I was forcing myself to forget it happened. Her parents convince her to meet me in London with her folks for Thanksgiving.
We meet up and she's incredibly cold to me the entire time, later that night shes in the shower and her phone goes off. It's a message from a girl I didn't recognize. I shouldn't have but I read the message and the ones before that. It wasn't a girl, she renamed the contact, it was a guy she met in Bremen and was cheating on me with for awhile and had plans to live with. Photos in the phone, sex text messages, and the whole nine yards.
At this point I didnt know what to do, so I packed my bags. I was just going to walk out. She stopped me, broke down into tears and didnt want me to leave. I couldn't hate her because I cheated on her, and if she knew she would do the same to me. So I gave her a second chance. We talked through a lot of it and she wanted to work through it. I told her she had to cease communications and seeing this guy, she said she would try but he was aggressive and persistent. He liked to tell her what to do and where to be and what to wear and things like that.
Well, Christmas time rolls around and I invited her to the states. When she came here she was cold again. I kinda got the idea she'd seen this guy again, but I couldn't tell for sure and wasn't going to harass her about it. Well she warms up to me again and she wants to cancel the wedding plans we had for this time together. I told her it's understandable, and she wanted her parents there and such. As the holidays go on she starts getting upset with me over things, and finds out from some old texts I had in my phone, years old that I had flirted with other girls. So it was then that I decide to tell her the truth since about what I did when I was back stateside one night. She is furious, hates me and cries that she could be with her parents, but came here to be with me. I felt devastated, I hurt her more than anything that day and I knew it. It was something I never wanted to do to her after I knew how much she meant to me. It happened and I hated myself, and I would do anything I could to stay with her.
Well, near the end of the vacation in January she plans to go back to Germany. We're not talking much, but shes saying she still loves me. She was spending a lot of time on her phone, and she said it was writing to her parents. She left it out again and I checked, it was to that guy again. He told her when she gets back she can stay with him, he will pick her up from the airport, and that the bed is waiting for her. He even bought them a new coffee maker. She had also sent all the photos of her that I had taken during the trip to him. She also had told him and all her friends (I didn't find out till later) that she was with her parents for the holidays and not with me.
We argue again because of this and I tell her it's over, that I should have just walked out in London and let her be happy with this new guy. It's what she wanted and I was clearly not making her happy anymore and the depressed me. Well she breaks down into tears when I set it up for her to have a taxi to the airport and a hotel room she can stay in to get away from me. She said she's confused and upset, She knows she cheated on me and I cheated on her and wants us to start over, to forget it and try to be happy again like we usta be.
Of course I agree to it, this was the first woman I ever loved enough to ask to marry me. The only woman I talked to about having kids with and wanting a family. It's 2013 now and she flew back to Bremen.
A few months go by and I plan to see her on her birthday, in February. She tells me not to come, she acts distant again. IN April she broke it off. SHe left me, she said I was the greatest man she was ever with but she didnt want to be with me anymore. She said she didn't love me, that she just though she did (this literally destroyed me).
Since then I have been unable to sleep, depressed, and think about ending my life every time I break down into a crying sack of shit. She completely cut me off from speaking to her, but I occasionally talk to her parents and they tell me she is doing well. Her dad always makes a not to tell me she's still single. I loved this woman with everything I had, I made mistakes, and I hate myself more than anything for them, I blame myself everyday for losing the woman that still holds my heart.
tl;dr - My fiancee left me, and i'm an idiot. | When my fiance left me almost 1 year ago. To this day I cant stop blaming and hating myself for ruining something that was so good.
It started in 2009, I was living in Europe at the time. I met her and was captivated, we wouldn't go out till a few months later though. After that I knew she was the girl of my dreams. Sadly though, I wasn't really one to be satisfied with just one girl at the time, so I when I went out I flirted with other girls, it wasn't about sleeping with someone new it was just the idea that a girl wanted to be with me that I liked. I kinda broke out of this shy nerd thing I had going on before, and now people wanted to be around me. It really went to my head around this time.
Fast forward some to 2010, I've moved to Berlin, and the girlfriend followed me to Germany, she went to Bremen to University so she could be near me. It was at this point I realized all the dumb things I was doing, and refused to go out drinking with friends and kinda became locked up in my work and personal things. I was trying to avoid any bad situations. When I did go out to have fun it was time off to go be with her. I knew at this point that I was in love, and it wasn't just her being in love with me anymore.
Well 2012 rolls around, and I head back to the states. I promise i'll visit her, and that im going to try to get into her university. During the time in the states I was thrilled to be home and back, and thats when I made the mistake. I ran into an ex and ended up doing something dumb. I knew I should have left and avoided but I stayed thinking I was in control, I mean I had control while I was in Germany. I guess it was kind of an illusion I built up, but I fooled around. Afterwards I knew I made a mistake, I told the girl that I couldn't see her or talk to her and that it was a huge mistake. After that I couldn't tell my girlfriend/fiancee now. I knew I should have, but I was afraid of losing her, especially with the distance we had between us now.
Time goes by some, and its nearing October/November. We had made plans over the summer to see each other during Thanksgiving. Well strange things happened in October, she was going out more with friends, talking to me less, and if I brought anything up like that she would get very aggressive towards me. I was really really worried, and I had a feeling she met someone else.
Thanksgiving rolls around and she doesn't want to meet at all. She wants to call off the wedding plans and just end it now. Her parents love me to death, they started saying I was the best thing ever to happen to her because I treated her so well, took her all over the world and genuinely made her happy. Inside I hated myself for cheating on her, but at this point I was forcing myself to forget it happened. Her parents convince her to meet me in London with her folks for Thanksgiving.
We meet up and she's incredibly cold to me the entire time, later that night shes in the shower and her phone goes off. It's a message from a girl I didn't recognize. I shouldn't have but I read the message and the ones before that. It wasn't a girl, she renamed the contact, it was a guy she met in Bremen and was cheating on me with for awhile and had plans to live with. Photos in the phone, sex text messages, and the whole nine yards.
At this point I didnt know what to do, so I packed my bags. I was just going to walk out. She stopped me, broke down into tears and didnt want me to leave. I couldn't hate her because I cheated on her, and if she knew she would do the same to me. So I gave her a second chance. We talked through a lot of it and she wanted to work through it. I told her she had to cease communications and seeing this guy, she said she would try but he was aggressive and persistent. He liked to tell her what to do and where to be and what to wear and things like that.
Well, Christmas time rolls around and I invited her to the states. When she came here she was cold again. I kinda got the idea she'd seen this guy again, but I couldn't tell for sure and wasn't going to harass her about it. Well she warms up to me again and she wants to cancel the wedding plans we had for this time together. I told her it's understandable, and she wanted her parents there and such. As the holidays go on she starts getting upset with me over things, and finds out from some old texts I had in my phone, years old that I had flirted with other girls. So it was then that I decide to tell her the truth since about what I did when I was back stateside one night. She is furious, hates me and cries that she could be with her parents, but came here to be with me. I felt devastated, I hurt her more than anything that day and I knew it. It was something I never wanted to do to her after I knew how much she meant to me. It happened and I hated myself, and I would do anything I could to stay with her.
Well, near the end of the vacation in January she plans to go back to Germany. We're not talking much, but shes saying she still loves me. She was spending a lot of time on her phone, and she said it was writing to her parents. She left it out again and I checked, it was to that guy again. He told her when she gets back she can stay with him, he will pick her up from the airport, and that the bed is waiting for her. He even bought them a new coffee maker. She had also sent all the photos of her that I had taken during the trip to him. She also had told him and all her friends (I didn't find out till later) that she was with her parents for the holidays and not with me.
We argue again because of this and I tell her it's over, that I should have just walked out in London and let her be happy with this new guy. It's what she wanted and I was clearly not making her happy anymore and the depressed me. Well she breaks down into tears when I set it up for her to have a taxi to the airport and a hotel room she can stay in to get away from me. She said she's confused and upset, She knows she cheated on me and I cheated on her and wants us to start over, to forget it and try to be happy again like we usta be.
Of course I agree to it, this was the first woman I ever loved enough to ask to marry me. The only woman I talked to about having kids with and wanting a family. It's 2013 now and she flew back to Bremen.
A few months go by and I plan to see her on her birthday, in February. She tells me not to come, she acts distant again. IN April she broke it off. SHe left me, she said I was the greatest man she was ever with but she didnt want to be with me anymore. She said she didn't love me, that she just though she did (this literally destroyed me).
Since then I have been unable to sleep, depressed, and think about ending my life every time I break down into a crying sack of shit. She completely cut me off from speaking to her, but I occasionally talk to her parents and they tell me she is doing well. Her dad always makes a not to tell me she's still single. I loved this woman with everything I had, I made mistakes, and I hate myself more than anything for them, I blame myself everyday for losing the woman that still holds my heart.
tl;dr - My fiancee left me, and i'm an idiot.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcygc | When my fiance left me almost 1 year ago. To this day I cant stop blaming and hating myself for ruining something that was so good.
It started in 2009, I was living in Europe at the time. I met her and was captivated, we wouldn't go out till a few months later though. After that I knew she was the girl of my dreams. Sadly though, I wasn't really one to be satisfied with just one girl at the time, so I when I went out I flirted with other girls, it wasn't about sleeping with someone new it was just the idea that a girl wanted to be with me that I liked. I kinda broke out of this shy nerd thing I had going on before, and now people wanted to be around me. It really went to my head around this time.
Fast forward some to 2010, I've moved to Berlin, and the girlfriend followed me to Germany, she went to Bremen to University so she could be near me. It was at this point I realized all the dumb things I was doing, and refused to go out drinking with friends and kinda became locked up in my work and personal things. I was trying to avoid any bad situations. When I did go out to have fun it was time off to go be with her. I knew at this point that I was in love, and it wasn't just her being in love with me anymore.
Well 2012 rolls around, and I head back to the states. I promise i'll visit her, and that im going to try to get into her university. During the time in the states I was thrilled to be home and back, and thats when I made the mistake. I ran into an ex and ended up doing something dumb. I knew I should have left and avoided but I stayed thinking I was in control, I mean I had control while I was in Germany. I guess it was kind of an illusion I built up, but I fooled around. Afterwards I knew I made a mistake, I told the girl that I couldn't see her or talk to her and that it was a huge mistake. After that I couldn't tell my girlfriend/fiancee now. I knew I should have, but I was afraid of losing her, especially with the distance we had between us now.
Time goes by some, and its nearing October/November. We had made plans over the summer to see each other during Thanksgiving. Well strange things happened in October, she was going out more with friends, talking to me less, and if I brought anything up like that she would get very aggressive towards me. I was really really worried, and I had a feeling she met someone else.
Thanksgiving rolls around and she doesn't want to meet at all. She wants to call off the wedding plans and just end it now. Her parents love me to death, they started saying I was the best thing ever to happen to her because I treated her so well, took her all over the world and genuinely made her happy. Inside I hated myself for cheating on her, but at this point I was forcing myself to forget it happened. Her parents convince her to meet me in London with her folks for Thanksgiving.
We meet up and she's incredibly cold to me the entire time, later that night shes in the shower and her phone goes off. It's a message from a girl I didn't recognize. I shouldn't have but I read the message and the ones before that. It wasn't a girl, she renamed the contact, it was a guy she met in Bremen and was cheating on me with for awhile and had plans to live with. Photos in the phone, sex text messages, and the whole nine yards.
At this point I didnt know what to do, so I packed my bags. I was just going to walk out. She stopped me, broke down into tears and didnt want me to leave. I couldn't hate her because I cheated on her, and if she knew she would do the same to me. So I gave her a second chance. We talked through a lot of it and she wanted to work through it. I told her she had to cease communications and seeing this guy, she said she would try but he was aggressive and persistent. He liked to tell her what to do and where to be and what to wear and things like that.
Well, Christmas time rolls around and I invited her to the states. When she came here she was cold again. I kinda got the idea she'd seen this guy again, but I couldn't tell for sure and wasn't going to harass her about it. Well she warms up to me again and she wants to cancel the wedding plans we had for this time together. I told her it's understandable, and she wanted her parents there and such. As the holidays go on she starts getting upset with me over things, and finds out from some old texts I had in my phone, years old that I had flirted with other girls. So it was then that I decide to tell her the truth since about what I did when I was back stateside one night. She is furious, hates me and cries that she could be with her parents, but came here to be with me. I felt devastated, I hurt her more than anything that day and I knew it. It was something I never wanted to do to her after I knew how much she meant to me. It happened and I hated myself, and I would do anything I could to stay with her.
Well, near the end of the vacation in January she plans to go back to Germany. We're not talking much, but shes saying she still loves me. She was spending a lot of time on her phone, and she said it was writing to her parents. She left it out again and I checked, it was to that guy again. He told her when she gets back she can stay with him, he will pick her up from the airport, and that the bed is waiting for her. He even bought them a new coffee maker. She had also sent all the photos of her that I had taken during the trip to him. She also had told him and all her friends (I didn't find out till later) that she was with her parents for the holidays and not with me.
We argue again because of this and I tell her it's over, that I should have just walked out in London and let her be happy with this new guy. It's what she wanted and I was clearly not making her happy anymore and the depressed me. Well she breaks down into tears when I set it up for her to have a taxi to the airport and a hotel room she can stay in to get away from me. She said she's confused and upset, She knows she cheated on me and I cheated on her and wants us to start over, to forget it and try to be happy again like we usta be.
Of course I agree to it, this was the first woman I ever loved enough to ask to marry me. The only woman I talked to about having kids with and wanting a family. It's 2013 now and she flew back to Bremen.
A few months go by and I plan to see her on her birthday, in February. She tells me not to come, she acts distant again. IN April she broke it off. SHe left me, she said I was the greatest man she was ever with but she didnt want to be with me anymore. She said she didn't love me, that she just though she did (this literally destroyed me).
Since then I have been unable to sleep, depressed, and think about ending my life every time I break down into a crying sack of shit. She completely cut me off from speaking to her, but I occasionally talk to her parents and they tell me she is doing well. Her dad always makes a not to tell me she's still single. I loved this woman with everything I had, I made mistakes, and I hate myself more than anything for them, I blame myself everyday for losing the woman that still holds my heart. | My fiancee left me, and i'm an idiot. |
phambam13 | Back in August the love of my life broke up with me. We've dated for a little over a year and were best friends before, she was my only female friend actually. Her reasons were fair though. She wanted to focus more on school (she didn't do too well the school year before), parents were against her dating, and she just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I couldn't really argue with any of them. It just sucked because the person that makes you feel mostly yourself and makes you so damn happy doesn't feel the same way about you anymore. Or that's what she told me. I had no idea what to do. Everyday that went by felt lonely because she was the only person I'd constantly talk to outside of my family. Then boom, just disappears I guess.
Now, we still kinda talk on and off. I still care for her and I still have feelings for her but I have no clue how she feels about me. One day I told her "I'm going to be straight up here, I miss you so damn much" then she said "Well yea, I miss you too. Just not in the way I felt before." Which really hurt. But then it gets really confusing because a few days ago she called me while she was still in school. When I answered she was crying, told me she was in the bathroom, and basically vented everything. Just drama and stress on school and college applications and problems going on at home. She then said she didn't know who else to go to but me. I found that weird since she was part of a large group of friends and was closer to most of them. So I just calmed her down and talked her through everything. That night I go my tumblr and there's this picture that basically said "I'm always here, I'll never let you go, I love you, okay?" (She made me a tumblr page while we were dating that she still updates). I'm just so confused right now.
***KORRA SPOILER***
I was balling while watching the season finale of korra because she would be mako and I would be korra (yes, I'm a guy. But I wanted to be korra because she's a badass and my name is Corey, had the "cor" sound haha!) but yea then they broke up. For real this time.
TL;DR
First love breaks up with me, gives me mixed signals on how she feels about me, confused, only cried for 3 hours after watching korra finale.
Right now, I'm only 18 years old. I still have much to experience, all the ups and downs of life. Aside from this, I just want to say that I am here for all of you bros. That does include the ladies. If you ever need to vent or share any advice I should know about in the future then PM me! | Back in August the love of my life broke up with me. We've dated for a little over a year and were best friends before, she was my only female friend actually. Her reasons were fair though. She wanted to focus more on school (she didn't do too well the school year before), parents were against her dating, and she just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I couldn't really argue with any of them. It just sucked because the person that makes you feel mostly yourself and makes you so damn happy doesn't feel the same way about you anymore. Or that's what she told me. I had no idea what to do. Everyday that went by felt lonely because she was the only person I'd constantly talk to outside of my family. Then boom, just disappears I guess.
Now, we still kinda talk on and off. I still care for her and I still have feelings for her but I have no clue how she feels about me. One day I told her "I'm going to be straight up here, I miss you so damn much" then she said "Well yea, I miss you too. Just not in the way I felt before." Which really hurt. But then it gets really confusing because a few days ago she called me while she was still in school. When I answered she was crying, told me she was in the bathroom, and basically vented everything. Just drama and stress on school and college applications and problems going on at home. She then said she didn't know who else to go to but me. I found that weird since she was part of a large group of friends and was closer to most of them. So I just calmed her down and talked her through everything. That night I go my tumblr and there's this picture that basically said "I'm always here, I'll never let you go, I love you, okay?" (She made me a tumblr page while we were dating that she still updates). I'm just so confused right now.
KORRA SPOILER
I was balling while watching the season finale of korra because she would be mako and I would be korra (yes, I'm a guy. But I wanted to be korra because she's a badass and my name is Corey, had the "cor" sound haha!) but yea then they broke up. For real this time.
TL;DR
First love breaks up with me, gives me mixed signals on how she feels about me, confused, only cried for 3 hours after watching korra finale.
Right now, I'm only 18 years old. I still have much to experience, all the ups and downs of life. Aside from this, I just want to say that I am here for all of you bros. That does include the ladies. If you ever need to vent or share any advice I should know about in the future then PM me!
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqcz2o | Back in August the love of my life broke up with me. We've dated for a little over a year and were best friends before, she was my only female friend actually. Her reasons were fair though. She wanted to focus more on school (she didn't do too well the school year before), parents were against her dating, and she just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I couldn't really argue with any of them. It just sucked because the person that makes you feel mostly yourself and makes you so damn happy doesn't feel the same way about you anymore. Or that's what she told me. I had no idea what to do. Everyday that went by felt lonely because she was the only person I'd constantly talk to outside of my family. Then boom, just disappears I guess.
Now, we still kinda talk on and off. I still care for her and I still have feelings for her but I have no clue how she feels about me. One day I told her "I'm going to be straight up here, I miss you so damn much" then she said "Well yea, I miss you too. Just not in the way I felt before." Which really hurt. But then it gets really confusing because a few days ago she called me while she was still in school. When I answered she was crying, told me she was in the bathroom, and basically vented everything. Just drama and stress on school and college applications and problems going on at home. She then said she didn't know who else to go to but me. I found that weird since she was part of a large group of friends and was closer to most of them. So I just calmed her down and talked her through everything. That night I go my tumblr and there's this picture that basically said "I'm always here, I'll never let you go, I love you, okay?" (She made me a tumblr page while we were dating that she still updates). I'm just so confused right now.
KORRA SPOILER
I was balling while watching the season finale of korra because she would be mako and I would be korra (yes, I'm a guy. But I wanted to be korra because she's a badass and my name is Corey, had the "cor" sound haha!) but yea then they broke up. For real this time. | First love breaks up with me, gives me mixed signals on how she feels about me, confused, only cried for 3 hours after watching korra finale.
Right now, I'm only 18 years old. I still have much to experience, all the ups and downs of life. Aside from this, I just want to say that I am here for all of you bros. That does include the ladies. If you ever need to vent or share any advice I should know about in the future then PM me! |
jamandtoast_ | This'll probably get buried, but I have a theory on this.
The Tory party increased the price of University level education three fold. Why?
Well, in the the past couple of decades, there has been a massive decrease in skilled workers, with an increase in the number of students graduating from universities across the country. This is because we were inculcated with an equation:-
Primary school+good grades = good Secondary school.
Secondary/Grammar school+good GCSEs = good college.
College+good A-Levels = good university.
Good university+first/2:1 = Excellent job, happy life, wife, kids, cash the whole shebang.
Problems:
1)Everybody decided to do exactly the same thing. Which means competition increases in all of the levels mentioned above. This also raises levels of stress.
2) In the haste to get degrees with good results, yet with limited places, people turned to degrees that have no benefit from a career aspect. They might have even excelled at them but nobody wants to employ somebody who wasted 3 years studying a shit course.
3) Students would go to university to become educated and then help the country by becoming doctors, lawyers, engineers etc. When everybody started getting degrees in shit courses and they weren't hired, they turned to other jobs, that would have been filled in by people who didn't go to university, effectively wasting resources of the university.
4) The employers realised they were hiring people with degrees, only to be left when they found a post suited to their background. Those that had a degree, yet couldn't find a job in their field, turned to lower paying jobs in other than their field. Employers, now wise to this, would refuse by stating they were over-qualified (is there such a thing?) for the position, leaving the degree bearer stranded between a rock and a hard place.
5) More people begin to take loans out for going to university once the price is increased to 3K a year. Even more when it's increased to 9K a year. This coupled with lack of jobs, translates to the government paying for university education and partying, while receiving nothing back.
Solution from the Tories: Raise prices, so we can increased skilled labour as people from lower class backgrounds would be less likely to go to university. At the same time reduce the number of people going to university which will lead to a reduction in the number of applicants for jobs, leading to better chances for everyone. People will revert to traditional courses and less of the shit ones, so they'll still get their doctors and lawyers and whatnot, its just a matter of forcing the working classes to go somewhere else, and leave those who can afford it (upper lower class, middle class) to go to university.
TL;DR
Essentially when it all boils down, we were sold the promise of good jobs if we got a degree.
Everybody does the same shit.
People can't find jobs due over-qualified pool of applicants all with degrees applying for the same jobs.
Tories raise prices so that things revert to how they were before 2004+.
Just my theory anyway.
| This'll probably get buried, but I have a theory on this.
The Tory party increased the price of University level education three fold. Why?
Well, in the the past couple of decades, there has been a massive decrease in skilled workers, with an increase in the number of students graduating from universities across the country. This is because we were inculcated with an equation:-
Primary school+good grades = good Secondary school.
Secondary/Grammar school+good GCSEs = good college.
College+good A-Levels = good university.
Good university+first/2:1 = Excellent job, happy life, wife, kids, cash the whole shebang.
Problems:
1)Everybody decided to do exactly the same thing. Which means competition increases in all of the levels mentioned above. This also raises levels of stress.
2) In the haste to get degrees with good results, yet with limited places, people turned to degrees that have no benefit from a career aspect. They might have even excelled at them but nobody wants to employ somebody who wasted 3 years studying a shit course.
3) Students would go to university to become educated and then help the country by becoming doctors, lawyers, engineers etc. When everybody started getting degrees in shit courses and they weren't hired, they turned to other jobs, that would have been filled in by people who didn't go to university, effectively wasting resources of the university.
4) The employers realised they were hiring people with degrees, only to be left when they found a post suited to their background. Those that had a degree, yet couldn't find a job in their field, turned to lower paying jobs in other than their field. Employers, now wise to this, would refuse by stating they were over-qualified (is there such a thing?) for the position, leaving the degree bearer stranded between a rock and a hard place.
5) More people begin to take loans out for going to university once the price is increased to 3K a year. Even more when it's increased to 9K a year. This coupled with lack of jobs, translates to the government paying for university education and partying, while receiving nothing back.
Solution from the Tories: Raise prices, so we can increased skilled labour as people from lower class backgrounds would be less likely to go to university. At the same time reduce the number of people going to university which will lead to a reduction in the number of applicants for jobs, leading to better chances for everyone. People will revert to traditional courses and less of the shit ones, so they'll still get their doctors and lawyers and whatnot, its just a matter of forcing the working classes to go somewhere else, and leave those who can afford it (upper lower class, middle class) to go to university.
TL;DR
Essentially when it all boils down, we were sold the promise of good jobs if we got a degree.
Everybody does the same shit.
People can't find jobs due over-qualified pool of applicants all with degrees applying for the same jobs.
Tories raise prices so that things revert to how they were before 2004+.
Just my theory anyway.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqd5qe | This'll probably get buried, but I have a theory on this.
The Tory party increased the price of University level education three fold. Why?
Well, in the the past couple of decades, there has been a massive decrease in skilled workers, with an increase in the number of students graduating from universities across the country. This is because we were inculcated with an equation:-
Primary school+good grades = good Secondary school.
Secondary/Grammar school+good GCSEs = good college.
College+good A-Levels = good university.
Good university+first/2:1 = Excellent job, happy life, wife, kids, cash the whole shebang.
Problems:
1)Everybody decided to do exactly the same thing. Which means competition increases in all of the levels mentioned above. This also raises levels of stress.
2) In the haste to get degrees with good results, yet with limited places, people turned to degrees that have no benefit from a career aspect. They might have even excelled at them but nobody wants to employ somebody who wasted 3 years studying a shit course.
3) Students would go to university to become educated and then help the country by becoming doctors, lawyers, engineers etc. When everybody started getting degrees in shit courses and they weren't hired, they turned to other jobs, that would have been filled in by people who didn't go to university, effectively wasting resources of the university.
4) The employers realised they were hiring people with degrees, only to be left when they found a post suited to their background. Those that had a degree, yet couldn't find a job in their field, turned to lower paying jobs in other than their field. Employers, now wise to this, would refuse by stating they were over-qualified (is there such a thing?) for the position, leaving the degree bearer stranded between a rock and a hard place.
5) More people begin to take loans out for going to university once the price is increased to 3K a year. Even more when it's increased to 9K a year. This coupled with lack of jobs, translates to the government paying for university education and partying, while receiving nothing back.
Solution from the Tories: Raise prices, so we can increased skilled labour as people from lower class backgrounds would be less likely to go to university. At the same time reduce the number of people going to university which will lead to a reduction in the number of applicants for jobs, leading to better chances for everyone. People will revert to traditional courses and less of the shit ones, so they'll still get their doctors and lawyers and whatnot, its just a matter of forcing the working classes to go somewhere else, and leave those who can afford it (upper lower class, middle class) to go to university. | Essentially when it all boils down, we were sold the promise of good jobs if we got a degree.
Everybody does the same shit.
People can't find jobs due over-qualified pool of applicants all with degrees applying for the same jobs.
Tories raise prices so that things revert to how they were before 2004+.
Just my theory anyway. |
jm-85 | My wife told me she didn't know if she loved me. She often had panic attacks when we would try to make love and wanted to move to another country for a few months because she wanted to get away. I honestly don't know how I survived this period emotionally.
Fortunately, I decided that I would do everything I could to try to save our marriage and if things didn't work out then so be it. I really didn't do anything different than being completely supportive of her in whatever she wanted. Fast forward 3 years and we're the happiest we've ever been. We have our first child and things are great. To make it clear, we specifically waited to have kids until we were sure we wanted to be together. My wife was really young when we got married and so she felt she had missed out on something. She realizes now that she wouldn't change anything, but it was hard then.
TLDR; Wife said she didn't love me, changed her mind, all is wonderful. | My wife told me she didn't know if she loved me. She often had panic attacks when we would try to make love and wanted to move to another country for a few months because she wanted to get away. I honestly don't know how I survived this period emotionally.
Fortunately, I decided that I would do everything I could to try to save our marriage and if things didn't work out then so be it. I really didn't do anything different than being completely supportive of her in whatever she wanted. Fast forward 3 years and we're the happiest we've ever been. We have our first child and things are great. To make it clear, we specifically waited to have kids until we were sure we wanted to be together. My wife was really young when we got married and so she felt she had missed out on something. She realizes now that she wouldn't change anything, but it was hard then.
TLDR; Wife said she didn't love me, changed her mind, all is wonderful.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqd6da | My wife told me she didn't know if she loved me. She often had panic attacks when we would try to make love and wanted to move to another country for a few months because she wanted to get away. I honestly don't know how I survived this period emotionally.
Fortunately, I decided that I would do everything I could to try to save our marriage and if things didn't work out then so be it. I really didn't do anything different than being completely supportive of her in whatever she wanted. Fast forward 3 years and we're the happiest we've ever been. We have our first child and things are great. To make it clear, we specifically waited to have kids until we were sure we wanted to be together. My wife was really young when we got married and so she felt she had missed out on something. She realizes now that she wouldn't change anything, but it was hard then. | Wife said she didn't love me, changed her mind, all is wonderful. |
Syroc | June 1st, 2009. I was deployed to Afghanistan and we were out on a mounted patrol (riding in up-armored humvees.) We were driving out of a small village and our driver hit the mirror and broke it off against a side wall. He was swapped out with the guy sitting next to me in the back seat (We were 'Dismounts' guys who get out of the vehicle to do the foot patrolling portion or meets and greets with locals.) The old driver looked upset and my Squad Leader, the best mentor and man i've ever known in my life, asked him "Are you mad at me?" to which the old driver said, "No, i'm mad at myself. I should have been more careful." My squad leader told him, hauntingly, "Don't worry about it man, there is always tomorrow." We got intel that there was an IED (improvised explosive device) further up the road. We looked hard for it. Usually there are signs: A dark patch of dirt where dirt with more moisture from lower had been dug up when they buried the bomb, A wire off the side of the road, etc...). We drove over the bomb and someone connected a battery that set off the bomb. I remember being on a rollercoaster from hell. The air was sucked to the bottom of my lungs and dark smoke filled the windows. When I came to I was upside down and couldn't see anyone around me. No one answered my talking. The gunner, my Squad-Leader, and the swapped out driver had all been killed instantly. The former driver was thrown from the vehicle and survived. I was trapped inside. Two of the three that died, including my Squad Leader, had just had their first kids not even four months before deployment. They would never see their kid's first birthday. The widow of my squad leader got remarried and every time I see a picture of their daughter on facebook she looks so much like my Squad Leader that I cry. I miss all of them. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about that day and all my other brothers. We lost nine guys that deployment but mentally we lost a lot more.
tldr; Bomb in Afghanistan killed three of my brothers. | June 1st, 2009. I was deployed to Afghanistan and we were out on a mounted patrol (riding in up-armored humvees.) We were driving out of a small village and our driver hit the mirror and broke it off against a side wall. He was swapped out with the guy sitting next to me in the back seat (We were 'Dismounts' guys who get out of the vehicle to do the foot patrolling portion or meets and greets with locals.) The old driver looked upset and my Squad Leader, the best mentor and man i've ever known in my life, asked him "Are you mad at me?" to which the old driver said, "No, i'm mad at myself. I should have been more careful." My squad leader told him, hauntingly, "Don't worry about it man, there is always tomorrow." We got intel that there was an IED (improvised explosive device) further up the road. We looked hard for it. Usually there are signs: A dark patch of dirt where dirt with more moisture from lower had been dug up when they buried the bomb, A wire off the side of the road, etc...). We drove over the bomb and someone connected a battery that set off the bomb. I remember being on a rollercoaster from hell. The air was sucked to the bottom of my lungs and dark smoke filled the windows. When I came to I was upside down and couldn't see anyone around me. No one answered my talking. The gunner, my Squad-Leader, and the swapped out driver had all been killed instantly. The former driver was thrown from the vehicle and survived. I was trapped inside. Two of the three that died, including my Squad Leader, had just had their first kids not even four months before deployment. They would never see their kid's first birthday. The widow of my squad leader got remarried and every time I see a picture of their daughter on facebook she looks so much like my Squad Leader that I cry. I miss all of them. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about that day and all my other brothers. We lost nine guys that deployment but mentally we lost a lot more.
tldr; Bomb in Afghanistan killed three of my brothers.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqd8g4 | June 1st, 2009. I was deployed to Afghanistan and we were out on a mounted patrol (riding in up-armored humvees.) We were driving out of a small village and our driver hit the mirror and broke it off against a side wall. He was swapped out with the guy sitting next to me in the back seat (We were 'Dismounts' guys who get out of the vehicle to do the foot patrolling portion or meets and greets with locals.) The old driver looked upset and my Squad Leader, the best mentor and man i've ever known in my life, asked him "Are you mad at me?" to which the old driver said, "No, i'm mad at myself. I should have been more careful." My squad leader told him, hauntingly, "Don't worry about it man, there is always tomorrow." We got intel that there was an IED (improvised explosive device) further up the road. We looked hard for it. Usually there are signs: A dark patch of dirt where dirt with more moisture from lower had been dug up when they buried the bomb, A wire off the side of the road, etc...). We drove over the bomb and someone connected a battery that set off the bomb. I remember being on a rollercoaster from hell. The air was sucked to the bottom of my lungs and dark smoke filled the windows. When I came to I was upside down and couldn't see anyone around me. No one answered my talking. The gunner, my Squad-Leader, and the swapped out driver had all been killed instantly. The former driver was thrown from the vehicle and survived. I was trapped inside. Two of the three that died, including my Squad Leader, had just had their first kids not even four months before deployment. They would never see their kid's first birthday. The widow of my squad leader got remarried and every time I see a picture of their daughter on facebook she looks so much like my Squad Leader that I cry. I miss all of them. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about that day and all my other brothers. We lost nine guys that deployment but mentally we lost a lot more. | Bomb in Afghanistan killed three of my brothers. |
snowman92 | I didn't make any actual friends in college until my second semester when I was brought into a fairly big group of other freshman.
Fast-forward a year and there is a huge split in the group because there was this aggressive guy that some of the group still liked even after he had threatened several people in the group and punched a hole in someone's wall. After that, it was me and a few others from the group. We grew very close.
Fast-forward to fall of junior year and one of our friends transfers colleges. We find out later that he had also knocked up an ex of his.
Fast-forward again to last summer, and I decide to ask out one of my friends because we had become so close. She said no. Semester starts and she acts weird around me even in groups when we used to hang out just us only months ago. October she told my friend and I that she wouldn't be coming to lunch or dinner for a week because of stress from school and work. She hasn't spoken to us since and actively avoids us. There are two of us left that hang out with each other regularly and that's it. We don't know why she cut ties from us, but I suspect it's because of me.
TL;DR: Slowly lost my friends in college, each one being closer than the last. | I didn't make any actual friends in college until my second semester when I was brought into a fairly big group of other freshman.
Fast-forward a year and there is a huge split in the group because there was this aggressive guy that some of the group still liked even after he had threatened several people in the group and punched a hole in someone's wall. After that, it was me and a few others from the group. We grew very close.
Fast-forward to fall of junior year and one of our friends transfers colleges. We find out later that he had also knocked up an ex of his.
Fast-forward again to last summer, and I decide to ask out one of my friends because we had become so close. She said no. Semester starts and she acts weird around me even in groups when we used to hang out just us only months ago. October she told my friend and I that she wouldn't be coming to lunch or dinner for a week because of stress from school and work. She hasn't spoken to us since and actively avoids us. There are two of us left that hang out with each other regularly and that's it. We don't know why she cut ties from us, but I suspect it's because of me.
TL;DR: Slowly lost my friends in college, each one being closer than the last.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdbn4 | I didn't make any actual friends in college until my second semester when I was brought into a fairly big group of other freshman.
Fast-forward a year and there is a huge split in the group because there was this aggressive guy that some of the group still liked even after he had threatened several people in the group and punched a hole in someone's wall. After that, it was me and a few others from the group. We grew very close.
Fast-forward to fall of junior year and one of our friends transfers colleges. We find out later that he had also knocked up an ex of his.
Fast-forward again to last summer, and I decide to ask out one of my friends because we had become so close. She said no. Semester starts and she acts weird around me even in groups when we used to hang out just us only months ago. October she told my friend and I that she wouldn't be coming to lunch or dinner for a week because of stress from school and work. She hasn't spoken to us since and actively avoids us. There are two of us left that hang out with each other regularly and that's it. We don't know why she cut ties from us, but I suspect it's because of me. | Slowly lost my friends in college, each one being closer than the last. |
Ricky_Reddit | I was having an affair. I married young and had an internal feeling that I had made a mistake about my marriage. This girl on the side was the most attractive girl that I've ever been involved with in a relationship. I fell for her harder than any other girl in my life. I was planning on divorcing my wife and starting a new one with the "other girl". Big problem: she was my student. She was 18 and I was 24 so nothing creepy but I knew I could be fired if our affair was found out. She walked into my classroom crying and told me that her mom had found out about us. I was fired two days later. That moment she walked into my room changed my life forever. I was devastated. I was doing something wrong and I knew it but it felt so good I never got out. I have reconciled with my wife and things have never been better. I have my life to God and feel like a new man. I don't lie anymore about anything. It lifts so much anxiousness and guilt from my everyday life knowing I am now living a good life. I found another job, not in teaching but at a place I love. It was a huge wake up call to me and I'm glad it happened bc it made me happier and led me to live a more meaningful life.
TLDR: Got caught having an affair with student, it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened. | I was having an affair. I married young and had an internal feeling that I had made a mistake about my marriage. This girl on the side was the most attractive girl that I've ever been involved with in a relationship. I fell for her harder than any other girl in my life. I was planning on divorcing my wife and starting a new one with the "other girl". Big problem: she was my student. She was 18 and I was 24 so nothing creepy but I knew I could be fired if our affair was found out. She walked into my classroom crying and told me that her mom had found out about us. I was fired two days later. That moment she walked into my room changed my life forever. I was devastated. I was doing something wrong and I knew it but it felt so good I never got out. I have reconciled with my wife and things have never been better. I have my life to God and feel like a new man. I don't lie anymore about anything. It lifts so much anxiousness and guilt from my everyday life knowing I am now living a good life. I found another job, not in teaching but at a place I love. It was a huge wake up call to me and I'm glad it happened bc it made me happier and led me to live a more meaningful life.
TLDR: Got caught having an affair with student, it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdc8e | I was having an affair. I married young and had an internal feeling that I had made a mistake about my marriage. This girl on the side was the most attractive girl that I've ever been involved with in a relationship. I fell for her harder than any other girl in my life. I was planning on divorcing my wife and starting a new one with the "other girl". Big problem: she was my student. She was 18 and I was 24 so nothing creepy but I knew I could be fired if our affair was found out. She walked into my classroom crying and told me that her mom had found out about us. I was fired two days later. That moment she walked into my room changed my life forever. I was devastated. I was doing something wrong and I knew it but it felt so good I never got out. I have reconciled with my wife and things have never been better. I have my life to God and feel like a new man. I don't lie anymore about anything. It lifts so much anxiousness and guilt from my everyday life knowing I am now living a good life. I found another job, not in teaching but at a place I love. It was a huge wake up call to me and I'm glad it happened bc it made me happier and led me to live a more meaningful life. | Got caught having an affair with student, it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened. |
HeroinJesus | Latley i've been having some troubles with my dad, me and him have never really gotten along but in the past few months it's just gotten to the point where i can't even be around him. Every conversation we have ends up with a screaming match and nearly a fist fight. Last week i called him and asked to get coffee so we could tlak and clear the air. Rather than wanting to talk, he dismissed everything i said and tried to spin everything to be my fault. I know I'm as much to blame as he is, but i also think he needs to own up to some responsibility. Being a major contributor for me being in therapy for the past 4 years should merit something from him. In any case, that whole meeting between us just ruined my perception of what a family really is, and i'm not sure it's something i want anything to do with anymore.
TLDR; Can't get along with dad, probably never will, family can be a shitty thing. | Latley i've been having some troubles with my dad, me and him have never really gotten along but in the past few months it's just gotten to the point where i can't even be around him. Every conversation we have ends up with a screaming match and nearly a fist fight. Last week i called him and asked to get coffee so we could tlak and clear the air. Rather than wanting to talk, he dismissed everything i said and tried to spin everything to be my fault. I know I'm as much to blame as he is, but i also think he needs to own up to some responsibility. Being a major contributor for me being in therapy for the past 4 years should merit something from him. In any case, that whole meeting between us just ruined my perception of what a family really is, and i'm not sure it's something i want anything to do with anymore.
TLDR; Can't get along with dad, probably never will, family can be a shitty thing.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdio3 | Latley i've been having some troubles with my dad, me and him have never really gotten along but in the past few months it's just gotten to the point where i can't even be around him. Every conversation we have ends up with a screaming match and nearly a fist fight. Last week i called him and asked to get coffee so we could tlak and clear the air. Rather than wanting to talk, he dismissed everything i said and tried to spin everything to be my fault. I know I'm as much to blame as he is, but i also think he needs to own up to some responsibility. Being a major contributor for me being in therapy for the past 4 years should merit something from him. In any case, that whole meeting between us just ruined my perception of what a family really is, and i'm not sure it's something i want anything to do with anymore. | Can't get along with dad, probably never will, family can be a shitty thing. |
aiurx | When I was six my father had a discussion with me on how we're all Santa in spirit. That we give and in essence, we create Santa.
I was cool with that because 6 year old me could handle the idea of Santa and people with this "Santa spirit".
Well, my father forgot what he told me over the course of the next year.
I'm 7. Driving down the road to my grandmothers house so my father could drop me off (I lived with my mom and grandparents) and it was early December.
The sky was bright and blue, the weather was mild for Texas, and we rode in his Jeep with the doors off. The radio was too low for me to hear anything distinguishable.
We pulled around the corner onto the street when my dad asked "Do you know who the real Santa Claus is?"
"Yeah," I replied, "it's you, mom, nana, and everyone else!"
He stopped suddenly at the intersection before my grandma's house. He began to yell, "WHO TOLD YOU, WHO TOLD YOU ITS ME AND YOUR MOM?!?!? WAS IT YOUR MOTHER?!! WAS IT YOUR NANA?!? TELL ME WHO TOLD YOU SANTA ISN'T REAL?!?"
My mind couldn't grasp what was happening. My 7 year old world was falling apart. It was so close to the holidays. I could see wreathes and lights on all the houses in the background.
I could *feel* my heart. It was dropping. Sinking. My father was still shouting and it was as if the world became this pin point focal point on me and in my brief moment of clarity (the last one I'd have for that day) I shouted back at him, "IT WAS YOU, YOU TOLD ME THERE'S NO SANTA!"
I got out and ran. I ran for my the house of my childhood. Where I had spent every Christmas. Where I was born. Where I took my first step. Where I had my innocence.
Where I'd spend that Christmas looking at the tree with that feeling of emptiness.
I still look back at that and think about it around this time of year. It's so hard to put that feeling into words.
It wasn't about Santa, it was about my childhood changing for ever.
tl;dr: my dad destroyed Christmas '89 by forgetting his own "words of wisdom."
(I may have not suffered any great loss in my life and, while I've had a relationship come to a devastatingly hurtful end, this one just goes back to a time when I knew no pain.)
| When I was six my father had a discussion with me on how we're all Santa in spirit. That we give and in essence, we create Santa.
I was cool with that because 6 year old me could handle the idea of Santa and people with this "Santa spirit".
Well, my father forgot what he told me over the course of the next year.
I'm 7. Driving down the road to my grandmothers house so my father could drop me off (I lived with my mom and grandparents) and it was early December.
The sky was bright and blue, the weather was mild for Texas, and we rode in his Jeep with the doors off. The radio was too low for me to hear anything distinguishable.
We pulled around the corner onto the street when my dad asked "Do you know who the real Santa Claus is?"
"Yeah," I replied, "it's you, mom, nana, and everyone else!"
He stopped suddenly at the intersection before my grandma's house. He began to yell, "WHO TOLD YOU, WHO TOLD YOU ITS ME AND YOUR MOM?!?!? WAS IT YOUR MOTHER?!! WAS IT YOUR NANA?!? TELL ME WHO TOLD YOU SANTA ISN'T REAL?!?"
My mind couldn't grasp what was happening. My 7 year old world was falling apart. It was so close to the holidays. I could see wreathes and lights on all the houses in the background.
I could feel my heart. It was dropping. Sinking. My father was still shouting and it was as if the world became this pin point focal point on me and in my brief moment of clarity (the last one I'd have for that day) I shouted back at him, "IT WAS YOU, YOU TOLD ME THERE'S NO SANTA!"
I got out and ran. I ran for my the house of my childhood. Where I had spent every Christmas. Where I was born. Where I took my first step. Where I had my innocence.
Where I'd spend that Christmas looking at the tree with that feeling of emptiness.
I still look back at that and think about it around this time of year. It's so hard to put that feeling into words.
It wasn't about Santa, it was about my childhood changing for ever.
tl;dr: my dad destroyed Christmas '89 by forgetting his own "words of wisdom."
(I may have not suffered any great loss in my life and, while I've had a relationship come to a devastatingly hurtful end, this one just goes back to a time when I knew no pain.)
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdjjm | When I was six my father had a discussion with me on how we're all Santa in spirit. That we give and in essence, we create Santa.
I was cool with that because 6 year old me could handle the idea of Santa and people with this "Santa spirit".
Well, my father forgot what he told me over the course of the next year.
I'm 7. Driving down the road to my grandmothers house so my father could drop me off (I lived with my mom and grandparents) and it was early December.
The sky was bright and blue, the weather was mild for Texas, and we rode in his Jeep with the doors off. The radio was too low for me to hear anything distinguishable.
We pulled around the corner onto the street when my dad asked "Do you know who the real Santa Claus is?"
"Yeah," I replied, "it's you, mom, nana, and everyone else!"
He stopped suddenly at the intersection before my grandma's house. He began to yell, "WHO TOLD YOU, WHO TOLD YOU ITS ME AND YOUR MOM?!?!? WAS IT YOUR MOTHER?!! WAS IT YOUR NANA?!? TELL ME WHO TOLD YOU SANTA ISN'T REAL?!?"
My mind couldn't grasp what was happening. My 7 year old world was falling apart. It was so close to the holidays. I could see wreathes and lights on all the houses in the background.
I could feel my heart. It was dropping. Sinking. My father was still shouting and it was as if the world became this pin point focal point on me and in my brief moment of clarity (the last one I'd have for that day) I shouted back at him, "IT WAS YOU, YOU TOLD ME THERE'S NO SANTA!"
I got out and ran. I ran for my the house of my childhood. Where I had spent every Christmas. Where I was born. Where I took my first step. Where I had my innocence.
Where I'd spend that Christmas looking at the tree with that feeling of emptiness.
I still look back at that and think about it around this time of year. It's so hard to put that feeling into words.
It wasn't about Santa, it was about my childhood changing for ever. | my dad destroyed Christmas '89 by forgetting his own "words of wisdom."
(I may have not suffered any great loss in my life and, while I've had a relationship come to a devastatingly hurtful end, this one just goes back to a time when I knew no pain.) |
Misteralvis | The posts here talk about such huge and heavy events, I feel a little silly posting something others may see as relatively minor. But it's, I don't know, cathartic to talk about it, I guess?
I was accepted to a top-notch PhD program for creative writing several years ago. Out of a shit ton of applicants, they accepted only four of us. I did well -- all As, except for one A-, positions on several boards, organized the annual conference, etc. I finished my coursework and passed my qualifying exams. The only thing I had left to do was write and defend my thesis.
Then came what I call the perfect storm: I quit smoking (which had always been a big part of my process), I developed very intense anxiety, and I became suddenly and acutely aware of the bizarre job situation in academia. I shut down at that point and could not write another word. I left the program and eventually started work with the welfare office, where I still work. I don't write at all now. I feel like a shell of a person, and consider suicide every single day. I manage to get through each day, but I'm broken.
TLDR: Was a writer, then wasn't anymore. Sigh. | The posts here talk about such huge and heavy events, I feel a little silly posting something others may see as relatively minor. But it's, I don't know, cathartic to talk about it, I guess?
I was accepted to a top-notch PhD program for creative writing several years ago. Out of a shit ton of applicants, they accepted only four of us. I did well -- all As, except for one A-, positions on several boards, organized the annual conference, etc. I finished my coursework and passed my qualifying exams. The only thing I had left to do was write and defend my thesis.
Then came what I call the perfect storm: I quit smoking (which had always been a big part of my process), I developed very intense anxiety, and I became suddenly and acutely aware of the bizarre job situation in academia. I shut down at that point and could not write another word. I left the program and eventually started work with the welfare office, where I still work. I don't write at all now. I feel like a shell of a person, and consider suicide every single day. I manage to get through each day, but I'm broken.
TLDR: Was a writer, then wasn't anymore. Sigh.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdprk | The posts here talk about such huge and heavy events, I feel a little silly posting something others may see as relatively minor. But it's, I don't know, cathartic to talk about it, I guess?
I was accepted to a top-notch PhD program for creative writing several years ago. Out of a shit ton of applicants, they accepted only four of us. I did well -- all As, except for one A-, positions on several boards, organized the annual conference, etc. I finished my coursework and passed my qualifying exams. The only thing I had left to do was write and defend my thesis.
Then came what I call the perfect storm: I quit smoking (which had always been a big part of my process), I developed very intense anxiety, and I became suddenly and acutely aware of the bizarre job situation in academia. I shut down at that point and could not write another word. I left the program and eventually started work with the welfare office, where I still work. I don't write at all now. I feel like a shell of a person, and consider suicide every single day. I manage to get through each day, but I'm broken. | Was a writer, then wasn't anymore. Sigh. |
TheMonkeyBrain | I am sure this will get buried, but here goes. When i was about 7, I was a very sick kid. I lived in the hospital in a oxygen tent for months. This was in the late 70's. I don't remember much. IV's, shots, the TV being blurry because of the plastic. I would have good day and really horrible days.
One memory I will never forget. I was laying in the bed pretending to sleep because I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to talk to anyone. It was later in the evening and the Dr was talking to my parents and grandparents about how sick I was. He didn't think I would live thru the night.
My family cried for a little while. The Dr left and they cried some more. After a hour or so my family started talking about how sick I was and how long I had been in the hospital. Then they started talking about how maybe it would be best if I did die during the night. How much it took for them to come to the hospital and maybe it was time for me to "go on".
I laid there refusing to move while they discussed me like I wasn't their son, like I was a burden and to much of an effort on their part. After they left I cried and cried. I still think about it to this day. How could my family not love me or not fight for me? It made me feel unwanted. I was their son, should't they fight for me? Shouldn't they care?
I have children now and I make a effort everyday to make sure they know I love them and will always be there for them.
A few of you will ask. Did I ever say anything to my parents? Yes, I did. I asked my mom and grandmother one day while we were at breakfast. The look of shock and torture on their face was enough for me to forgive them. They wanted to talk to me about it and give their excuses. I told them I didn't care and that I forgave them.
Sometimes I still think about that moment and wonder if I really did forgive them or if I just didn't want to hear their excuses. but mostly I just bury that shit in the back of my brain and tell myself it didn't affect me as much as I know it has.
TL:DR Parents hoped I would die and I didn't want to hear about it | I am sure this will get buried, but here goes. When i was about 7, I was a very sick kid. I lived in the hospital in a oxygen tent for months. This was in the late 70's. I don't remember much. IV's, shots, the TV being blurry because of the plastic. I would have good day and really horrible days.
One memory I will never forget. I was laying in the bed pretending to sleep because I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to talk to anyone. It was later in the evening and the Dr was talking to my parents and grandparents about how sick I was. He didn't think I would live thru the night.
My family cried for a little while. The Dr left and they cried some more. After a hour or so my family started talking about how sick I was and how long I had been in the hospital. Then they started talking about how maybe it would be best if I did die during the night. How much it took for them to come to the hospital and maybe it was time for me to "go on".
I laid there refusing to move while they discussed me like I wasn't their son, like I was a burden and to much of an effort on their part. After they left I cried and cried. I still think about it to this day. How could my family not love me or not fight for me? It made me feel unwanted. I was their son, should't they fight for me? Shouldn't they care?
I have children now and I make a effort everyday to make sure they know I love them and will always be there for them.
A few of you will ask. Did I ever say anything to my parents? Yes, I did. I asked my mom and grandmother one day while we were at breakfast. The look of shock and torture on their face was enough for me to forgive them. They wanted to talk to me about it and give their excuses. I told them I didn't care and that I forgave them.
Sometimes I still think about that moment and wonder if I really did forgive them or if I just didn't want to hear their excuses. but mostly I just bury that shit in the back of my brain and tell myself it didn't affect me as much as I know it has.
TL:DR Parents hoped I would die and I didn't want to hear about it
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdtle | I am sure this will get buried, but here goes. When i was about 7, I was a very sick kid. I lived in the hospital in a oxygen tent for months. This was in the late 70's. I don't remember much. IV's, shots, the TV being blurry because of the plastic. I would have good day and really horrible days.
One memory I will never forget. I was laying in the bed pretending to sleep because I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to talk to anyone. It was later in the evening and the Dr was talking to my parents and grandparents about how sick I was. He didn't think I would live thru the night.
My family cried for a little while. The Dr left and they cried some more. After a hour or so my family started talking about how sick I was and how long I had been in the hospital. Then they started talking about how maybe it would be best if I did die during the night. How much it took for them to come to the hospital and maybe it was time for me to "go on".
I laid there refusing to move while they discussed me like I wasn't their son, like I was a burden and to much of an effort on their part. After they left I cried and cried. I still think about it to this day. How could my family not love me or not fight for me? It made me feel unwanted. I was their son, should't they fight for me? Shouldn't they care?
I have children now and I make a effort everyday to make sure they know I love them and will always be there for them.
A few of you will ask. Did I ever say anything to my parents? Yes, I did. I asked my mom and grandmother one day while we were at breakfast. The look of shock and torture on their face was enough for me to forgive them. They wanted to talk to me about it and give their excuses. I told them I didn't care and that I forgave them.
Sometimes I still think about that moment and wonder if I really did forgive them or if I just didn't want to hear their excuses. but mostly I just bury that shit in the back of my brain and tell myself it didn't affect me as much as I know it has. | Parents hoped I would die and I didn't want to hear about it |
Jusseh | I remember like it was yesterday, but it was three years ago. We have a hunting shack in rural Alberta. It's not too far in the sticks, but a good 10-15 minutes to the nearest town. It was a beautiful September Long Weekend. 20 C, no wind, partly cloudy, but the sun was shining.
My sister and I had been fighting all weekend, about the little shit, you know? Sibling shit. I was 16, she was 8. Arguing about being too loud, being annoying, everything small. Finally, my mom had gotten fed up and said "JESSE. Please just take your sister for a quad ride." I didn't want to, but obliged. Put my coat on, debated on taking my cell phone or not, called my sister and we hopped on the quad.
Once we were on we stopped fighting, and started having the time of our lives. The max speed we reached was 50 km/h. Nothing crazy. My sister was on the back of the quad, helmet, sweats, her favourite top and a sweater. I am a fairly experienced quad driver, but I never have been into doing anything too crazy. The craziest things I've ever done is going through the mud and getting stuck/dirty.
Anyways, we drive (in a straight line for the whole thing, might I add) down this large gravel hill onto a pasture that we are very familiar driving on. We weren't more than 700m from the shack. I could drive it with my eyes closed. All I was doing was taking my sister to the mud puddle to throw some mud at her, get her to laugh. As we drive down this pasture, there was the slightest of hills. I was only going 30 fucking km. Nothing fast, nothing crazy, and I had even slowed down. My little sister asked me to slow down.. and so I did. Applied pressure on the brakes like I had always done, 100 times before. Then it happened.
As soon as we were off the hill and on flat ground is when I felt it. The quad started to fishtail. Okay, this has happened before, no biggie. Wait, it's not stopping. "ASHTON WE ARE ROLLING JUMP OFF". The quad flipped. Everything after this happened in slow motion. Slow fucking motion. I didn't flip it ass over tea kettle, rolled it like a log. I assumed, since she was so little she would get thrown, and I would get pinned. Everything was in slow motion, until we hit the ground. I don't know if I got knocked out, but I landed on my left shoulder and was pinned.
When I came to I heard blood curling screaming. I thought I was my sister screaming because I was pinned. I got my wits about me and rolled over onto my stomach and pulled myself out from under the quad. I looked over to my sister, expecting her to be okay. Fuck, was I ever wrong. FUCK, was I ever FUCKING wrong. There she was, all 8 years of her, pinned under this 800 pound machine, with the wheel directly on top of her.
She was screaming. So loud. So loud. "JESSE HELP, I'M DYING. I'M DYING JESSE HELP ME." Then she said she couldn't breathe. All while this was happening, I was trying to pull the quad off her. 100 pound me vs. 800 pound machine. Then I remembered the phone in my pocket.
As I threw off my coat, and took out my phone to call my parents, my uncle, anyone at the shack that would answer, and in between me trying to keep her alive, my sister went quiet. The colour drained from her face, the bright brown eyes that were so full of live 5 minutes ago, are now an empty void. She wasn't there. She was gone.
Frantically, after 20 calls to everyone at the shack, someone finally picked up. I was screaming my head off, pushing the quad up with my legs to keep it off my sisters chest, hoping she would come to during this. They didn't believe me. I had to repeat myself 4 million times. Finally used some language that I don't normally use (called everyone fucking cunts) they believed me. After what seemed like an hour they arrived (in reality it was only a minute). My family got the quad off my sister, everyone seemed to know their role. My mom and uncle started CPR, while my aunt went back to get the ER nurse that lived on the shack property. I felt so guilty. Why me? I should be in this situation. Fuck my life, God just kill me please.
I was in the 5 stages of denial. The ambulances came. They took my sister away. I laid face down in the dirt, I can't even begin to describe this feeling. My world had flipped upside down. "I killed her, I fucking killed her" I kept saying. I was in hyterics. The medics came to check me out, but I wasn't transported. In hindsight, I don't understand why I wasn't transported or even looked after. My father and I drove to the hospital while my aunt and uncle stayed behind to clean up the shack. My mom went in the ambulance with my sister and the nurse.
When I got to the hospital, I saw her. Tubes coming out of her mouth, swollen head, collar on. But she was alive. She was fucking alive. I cried. She had a long road ahead of her though. They couldn't provide the necessary care to her at the hospital she was at, so she was air lifted to the University of Alberta hospital by STARS.
She was in the ICU for about 10 days, then the Stollery for about 4. She suffered a very minor hypoxic brain injury. It was the worst two weeks of my life, and I am stll suffering for it, but the main thing is, she's okay.
She's fucking okay. And she's just about the same little girl she was. A little extra sensitive, but if that's all it is, that is okay. I fucking love her so much. It was definitely the scariest thing I have ever been through Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, but I wanted to share.
Everyone played a role, and if it wasn't for the amazing Paramedics, Nurses and Doctors she wouldn't be here. I am so grateful. So grateful.
Completely ruined my life though. I have PTSD and depression from it and I still get vivid dreams and flashbacks. I am in school to become an EMT so I can give back to the people that helped me.
TL;DR Quad roll over with my little sister. Pinned her under the quad, thought she died. With everyone's help, she made it. | I remember like it was yesterday, but it was three years ago. We have a hunting shack in rural Alberta. It's not too far in the sticks, but a good 10-15 minutes to the nearest town. It was a beautiful September Long Weekend. 20 C, no wind, partly cloudy, but the sun was shining.
My sister and I had been fighting all weekend, about the little shit, you know? Sibling shit. I was 16, she was 8. Arguing about being too loud, being annoying, everything small. Finally, my mom had gotten fed up and said "JESSE. Please just take your sister for a quad ride." I didn't want to, but obliged. Put my coat on, debated on taking my cell phone or not, called my sister and we hopped on the quad.
Once we were on we stopped fighting, and started having the time of our lives. The max speed we reached was 50 km/h. Nothing crazy. My sister was on the back of the quad, helmet, sweats, her favourite top and a sweater. I am a fairly experienced quad driver, but I never have been into doing anything too crazy. The craziest things I've ever done is going through the mud and getting stuck/dirty.
Anyways, we drive (in a straight line for the whole thing, might I add) down this large gravel hill onto a pasture that we are very familiar driving on. We weren't more than 700m from the shack. I could drive it with my eyes closed. All I was doing was taking my sister to the mud puddle to throw some mud at her, get her to laugh. As we drive down this pasture, there was the slightest of hills. I was only going 30 fucking km. Nothing fast, nothing crazy, and I had even slowed down. My little sister asked me to slow down.. and so I did. Applied pressure on the brakes like I had always done, 100 times before. Then it happened.
As soon as we were off the hill and on flat ground is when I felt it. The quad started to fishtail. Okay, this has happened before, no biggie. Wait, it's not stopping. "ASHTON WE ARE ROLLING JUMP OFF". The quad flipped. Everything after this happened in slow motion. Slow fucking motion. I didn't flip it ass over tea kettle, rolled it like a log. I assumed, since she was so little she would get thrown, and I would get pinned. Everything was in slow motion, until we hit the ground. I don't know if I got knocked out, but I landed on my left shoulder and was pinned.
When I came to I heard blood curling screaming. I thought I was my sister screaming because I was pinned. I got my wits about me and rolled over onto my stomach and pulled myself out from under the quad. I looked over to my sister, expecting her to be okay. Fuck, was I ever wrong. FUCK, was I ever FUCKING wrong. There she was, all 8 years of her, pinned under this 800 pound machine, with the wheel directly on top of her.
She was screaming. So loud. So loud. "JESSE HELP, I'M DYING. I'M DYING JESSE HELP ME." Then she said she couldn't breathe. All while this was happening, I was trying to pull the quad off her. 100 pound me vs. 800 pound machine. Then I remembered the phone in my pocket.
As I threw off my coat, and took out my phone to call my parents, my uncle, anyone at the shack that would answer, and in between me trying to keep her alive, my sister went quiet. The colour drained from her face, the bright brown eyes that were so full of live 5 minutes ago, are now an empty void. She wasn't there. She was gone.
Frantically, after 20 calls to everyone at the shack, someone finally picked up. I was screaming my head off, pushing the quad up with my legs to keep it off my sisters chest, hoping she would come to during this. They didn't believe me. I had to repeat myself 4 million times. Finally used some language that I don't normally use (called everyone fucking cunts) they believed me. After what seemed like an hour they arrived (in reality it was only a minute). My family got the quad off my sister, everyone seemed to know their role. My mom and uncle started CPR, while my aunt went back to get the ER nurse that lived on the shack property. I felt so guilty. Why me? I should be in this situation. Fuck my life, God just kill me please.
I was in the 5 stages of denial. The ambulances came. They took my sister away. I laid face down in the dirt, I can't even begin to describe this feeling. My world had flipped upside down. "I killed her, I fucking killed her" I kept saying. I was in hyterics. The medics came to check me out, but I wasn't transported. In hindsight, I don't understand why I wasn't transported or even looked after. My father and I drove to the hospital while my aunt and uncle stayed behind to clean up the shack. My mom went in the ambulance with my sister and the nurse.
When I got to the hospital, I saw her. Tubes coming out of her mouth, swollen head, collar on. But she was alive. She was fucking alive. I cried. She had a long road ahead of her though. They couldn't provide the necessary care to her at the hospital she was at, so she was air lifted to the University of Alberta hospital by STARS.
She was in the ICU for about 10 days, then the Stollery for about 4. She suffered a very minor hypoxic brain injury. It was the worst two weeks of my life, and I am stll suffering for it, but the main thing is, she's okay.
She's fucking okay. And she's just about the same little girl she was. A little extra sensitive, but if that's all it is, that is okay. I fucking love her so much. It was definitely the scariest thing I have ever been through Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, but I wanted to share.
Everyone played a role, and if it wasn't for the amazing Paramedics, Nurses and Doctors she wouldn't be here. I am so grateful. So grateful.
Completely ruined my life though. I have PTSD and depression from it and I still get vivid dreams and flashbacks. I am in school to become an EMT so I can give back to the people that helped me.
TL;DR Quad roll over with my little sister. Pinned her under the quad, thought she died. With everyone's help, she made it.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdvvs | I remember like it was yesterday, but it was three years ago. We have a hunting shack in rural Alberta. It's not too far in the sticks, but a good 10-15 minutes to the nearest town. It was a beautiful September Long Weekend. 20 C, no wind, partly cloudy, but the sun was shining.
My sister and I had been fighting all weekend, about the little shit, you know? Sibling shit. I was 16, she was 8. Arguing about being too loud, being annoying, everything small. Finally, my mom had gotten fed up and said "JESSE. Please just take your sister for a quad ride." I didn't want to, but obliged. Put my coat on, debated on taking my cell phone or not, called my sister and we hopped on the quad.
Once we were on we stopped fighting, and started having the time of our lives. The max speed we reached was 50 km/h. Nothing crazy. My sister was on the back of the quad, helmet, sweats, her favourite top and a sweater. I am a fairly experienced quad driver, but I never have been into doing anything too crazy. The craziest things I've ever done is going through the mud and getting stuck/dirty.
Anyways, we drive (in a straight line for the whole thing, might I add) down this large gravel hill onto a pasture that we are very familiar driving on. We weren't more than 700m from the shack. I could drive it with my eyes closed. All I was doing was taking my sister to the mud puddle to throw some mud at her, get her to laugh. As we drive down this pasture, there was the slightest of hills. I was only going 30 fucking km. Nothing fast, nothing crazy, and I had even slowed down. My little sister asked me to slow down.. and so I did. Applied pressure on the brakes like I had always done, 100 times before. Then it happened.
As soon as we were off the hill and on flat ground is when I felt it. The quad started to fishtail. Okay, this has happened before, no biggie. Wait, it's not stopping. "ASHTON WE ARE ROLLING JUMP OFF". The quad flipped. Everything after this happened in slow motion. Slow fucking motion. I didn't flip it ass over tea kettle, rolled it like a log. I assumed, since she was so little she would get thrown, and I would get pinned. Everything was in slow motion, until we hit the ground. I don't know if I got knocked out, but I landed on my left shoulder and was pinned.
When I came to I heard blood curling screaming. I thought I was my sister screaming because I was pinned. I got my wits about me and rolled over onto my stomach and pulled myself out from under the quad. I looked over to my sister, expecting her to be okay. Fuck, was I ever wrong. FUCK, was I ever FUCKING wrong. There she was, all 8 years of her, pinned under this 800 pound machine, with the wheel directly on top of her.
She was screaming. So loud. So loud. "JESSE HELP, I'M DYING. I'M DYING JESSE HELP ME." Then she said she couldn't breathe. All while this was happening, I was trying to pull the quad off her. 100 pound me vs. 800 pound machine. Then I remembered the phone in my pocket.
As I threw off my coat, and took out my phone to call my parents, my uncle, anyone at the shack that would answer, and in between me trying to keep her alive, my sister went quiet. The colour drained from her face, the bright brown eyes that were so full of live 5 minutes ago, are now an empty void. She wasn't there. She was gone.
Frantically, after 20 calls to everyone at the shack, someone finally picked up. I was screaming my head off, pushing the quad up with my legs to keep it off my sisters chest, hoping she would come to during this. They didn't believe me. I had to repeat myself 4 million times. Finally used some language that I don't normally use (called everyone fucking cunts) they believed me. After what seemed like an hour they arrived (in reality it was only a minute). My family got the quad off my sister, everyone seemed to know their role. My mom and uncle started CPR, while my aunt went back to get the ER nurse that lived on the shack property. I felt so guilty. Why me? I should be in this situation. Fuck my life, God just kill me please.
I was in the 5 stages of denial. The ambulances came. They took my sister away. I laid face down in the dirt, I can't even begin to describe this feeling. My world had flipped upside down. "I killed her, I fucking killed her" I kept saying. I was in hyterics. The medics came to check me out, but I wasn't transported. In hindsight, I don't understand why I wasn't transported or even looked after. My father and I drove to the hospital while my aunt and uncle stayed behind to clean up the shack. My mom went in the ambulance with my sister and the nurse.
When I got to the hospital, I saw her. Tubes coming out of her mouth, swollen head, collar on. But she was alive. She was fucking alive. I cried. She had a long road ahead of her though. They couldn't provide the necessary care to her at the hospital she was at, so she was air lifted to the University of Alberta hospital by STARS.
She was in the ICU for about 10 days, then the Stollery for about 4. She suffered a very minor hypoxic brain injury. It was the worst two weeks of my life, and I am stll suffering for it, but the main thing is, she's okay.
She's fucking okay. And she's just about the same little girl she was. A little extra sensitive, but if that's all it is, that is okay. I fucking love her so much. It was definitely the scariest thing I have ever been through Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, but I wanted to share.
Everyone played a role, and if it wasn't for the amazing Paramedics, Nurses and Doctors she wouldn't be here. I am so grateful. So grateful.
Completely ruined my life though. I have PTSD and depression from it and I still get vivid dreams and flashbacks. I am in school to become an EMT so I can give back to the people that helped me. | Quad roll over with my little sister. Pinned her under the quad, thought she died. With everyone's help, she made it. |
KingKushBlunt | I hurt someone else emotionally beyond belief. And that hurt me more then it hurt her. When it all clicked that I'm a fucking mistake, it ruined me. I still can't build a strong relationship with anyone because in the back of my mind, I'm a failure.
TL;DR - Don't cheat. | I hurt someone else emotionally beyond belief. And that hurt me more then it hurt her. When it all clicked that I'm a fucking mistake, it ruined me. I still can't build a strong relationship with anyone because in the back of my mind, I'm a failure.
TL;DR - Don't cheat.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqdwxv | I hurt someone else emotionally beyond belief. And that hurt me more then it hurt her. When it all clicked that I'm a fucking mistake, it ruined me. I still can't build a strong relationship with anyone because in the back of my mind, I'm a failure. | Don't cheat. |
afbrh | I was 17 when I got a call one Thursday night. It was my best friend mark.
Mark: Hey man I have some bad news
Me: why? What happened?
Mark: just an hour ago or so, XXXX jumped off of an 8 story building.
Me: what!? Why????
(I didn't piece it together)
Mark: he was trying to kill himself.
Me: oh my god I'm coming over.
(Click)
I dropped the phone. Back hit the wall and I slid down to the ground in shock.
XXXX was mine and marks best friend since 7th grade. We were inseparable.
We sat next to each other in our physics class in school. I came in the next day. Sat in the front row in my usual seat. His next to mine was empty. My teacher asked what was up with XXXX and I didn't react. I just say there. Suddenly tears just pour down my face. I had a blank expression and didn't move as I soaked my notebook in tears. The few of my classmates that knew what had happened stepped outside with the teacher and explained what happened. My friends in the class patted me on the back and were there for me.
I gave up on going to next period.
The few of us that were really close to XXXX sat in one of the rooms in the counselor office for the rest of the day.
Eventually someone came in and told us that XXXX was stable and alive at the hospital. No permanent injuries. He was going to live.
We hung out a few times after that but our friendship faded out. It's been 3 years now since that. We go to the same college but don't see eachother much.
I recently reconnected with him and our other friend Will. We are going to be roommates next year and I think we will fix our friendship.
The feeling of getting that phone call though is life shattering.
Tl;dr fuck your lazy ass and just read it.
Typed on phone. Plz excuse typos | I was 17 when I got a call one Thursday night. It was my best friend mark.
Mark: Hey man I have some bad news
Me: why? What happened?
Mark: just an hour ago or so, XXXX jumped off of an 8 story building.
Me: what!? Why????
(I didn't piece it together)
Mark: he was trying to kill himself.
Me: oh my god I'm coming over.
(Click)
I dropped the phone. Back hit the wall and I slid down to the ground in shock.
XXXX was mine and marks best friend since 7th grade. We were inseparable.
We sat next to each other in our physics class in school. I came in the next day. Sat in the front row in my usual seat. His next to mine was empty. My teacher asked what was up with XXXX and I didn't react. I just say there. Suddenly tears just pour down my face. I had a blank expression and didn't move as I soaked my notebook in tears. The few of my classmates that knew what had happened stepped outside with the teacher and explained what happened. My friends in the class patted me on the back and were there for me.
I gave up on going to next period.
The few of us that were really close to XXXX sat in one of the rooms in the counselor office for the rest of the day.
Eventually someone came in and told us that XXXX was stable and alive at the hospital. No permanent injuries. He was going to live.
We hung out a few times after that but our friendship faded out. It's been 3 years now since that. We go to the same college but don't see eachother much.
I recently reconnected with him and our other friend Will. We are going to be roommates next year and I think we will fix our friendship.
The feeling of getting that phone call though is life shattering.
Tl;dr fuck your lazy ass and just read it.
Typed on phone. Plz excuse typos
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqe346 | I was 17 when I got a call one Thursday night. It was my best friend mark.
Mark: Hey man I have some bad news
Me: why? What happened?
Mark: just an hour ago or so, XXXX jumped off of an 8 story building.
Me: what!? Why????
(I didn't piece it together)
Mark: he was trying to kill himself.
Me: oh my god I'm coming over.
(Click)
I dropped the phone. Back hit the wall and I slid down to the ground in shock.
XXXX was mine and marks best friend since 7th grade. We were inseparable.
We sat next to each other in our physics class in school. I came in the next day. Sat in the front row in my usual seat. His next to mine was empty. My teacher asked what was up with XXXX and I didn't react. I just say there. Suddenly tears just pour down my face. I had a blank expression and didn't move as I soaked my notebook in tears. The few of my classmates that knew what had happened stepped outside with the teacher and explained what happened. My friends in the class patted me on the back and were there for me.
I gave up on going to next period.
The few of us that were really close to XXXX sat in one of the rooms in the counselor office for the rest of the day.
Eventually someone came in and told us that XXXX was stable and alive at the hospital. No permanent injuries. He was going to live.
We hung out a few times after that but our friendship faded out. It's been 3 years now since that. We go to the same college but don't see eachother much.
I recently reconnected with him and our other friend Will. We are going to be roommates next year and I think we will fix our friendship.
The feeling of getting that phone call though is life shattering. | fuck your lazy ass and just read it.
Typed on phone. Plz excuse typos |
rammerjammergirl | As many of these other posts, my mom also passed away. She died April of this year. One month and 27 days before my 21st birthday. She was killed in a car accident by a 17 year old driver that lost control of their car and t-boned my mom on the drivers side, she was trapped in the vehicle. She was on the way to my grandmothers house about 30 miles from my house. I was on the phone with her because she wanted me to look up something for her in the phone book. While I was looking through the phone book, the phone went dead. I tried calling her back about 3 times and figured her down just died. Got a call about 10 minutes later telling me she had been in an accident and broke her leg but she would be okay. I was freaking out but figured she was okay. I was planning on "getting onto her" for wrecking my car. I loaded up my two year old and my little sister and we headed to the hospital. I had already called my aunts and grandmother and they were already there waiting on us. When I enter the ER I told them who I was there to see and they copuldnt find anyone by that name there. I proceeded to call every hospital in the area, but she wasnt at any of them. Thats when I knew something was wrong. If she couldnt tell them who she is then something is wrong. They asked if we had a picture of her that they could see to see if she was back there. My sister handed them her phone that she had used a couple of weeks before to take the picture that would identify my mothers body. They called us back to the family room and the doctors told us that she had died, they tried to do surgery but she had too many internal injuries. At that moment, I wanted to die. I honestly didnt know how I could continue to live without the woman that was my best friend. At that moment, I didnt care that I had a daughter, or a sister that needed me, I didnt care that there were other people depending on me. I just wanted my life to be over. It took me a long time to be okay. I still have time where I really miss her voice, or her hugs, or her advice. I realized that she would never see me get married, or watch my daughter grow. Explaining to my two year old why her Nana was never coming back was one of the hardest things I will EVER have to do. I will never be the person I was. I will never laugh the same. Sometimes I feel bad about being happy or laughing because I feel like I should be sad all the time. I hope that NOBODY has to go through the torture I went through. I do feel like it was made me a better person. I have quit smoking and drinking because I dont want me to die at a young age and my daughter go through what I went through. Sorry for the long spill, but it feels good to tell the story.
TL;DR My mom was killed in a car accident. | As many of these other posts, my mom also passed away. She died April of this year. One month and 27 days before my 21st birthday. She was killed in a car accident by a 17 year old driver that lost control of their car and t-boned my mom on the drivers side, she was trapped in the vehicle. She was on the way to my grandmothers house about 30 miles from my house. I was on the phone with her because she wanted me to look up something for her in the phone book. While I was looking through the phone book, the phone went dead. I tried calling her back about 3 times and figured her down just died. Got a call about 10 minutes later telling me she had been in an accident and broke her leg but she would be okay. I was freaking out but figured she was okay. I was planning on "getting onto her" for wrecking my car. I loaded up my two year old and my little sister and we headed to the hospital. I had already called my aunts and grandmother and they were already there waiting on us. When I enter the ER I told them who I was there to see and they copuldnt find anyone by that name there. I proceeded to call every hospital in the area, but she wasnt at any of them. Thats when I knew something was wrong. If she couldnt tell them who she is then something is wrong. They asked if we had a picture of her that they could see to see if she was back there. My sister handed them her phone that she had used a couple of weeks before to take the picture that would identify my mothers body. They called us back to the family room and the doctors told us that she had died, they tried to do surgery but she had too many internal injuries. At that moment, I wanted to die. I honestly didnt know how I could continue to live without the woman that was my best friend. At that moment, I didnt care that I had a daughter, or a sister that needed me, I didnt care that there were other people depending on me. I just wanted my life to be over. It took me a long time to be okay. I still have time where I really miss her voice, or her hugs, or her advice. I realized that she would never see me get married, or watch my daughter grow. Explaining to my two year old why her Nana was never coming back was one of the hardest things I will EVER have to do. I will never be the person I was. I will never laugh the same. Sometimes I feel bad about being happy or laughing because I feel like I should be sad all the time. I hope that NOBODY has to go through the torture I went through. I do feel like it was made me a better person. I have quit smoking and drinking because I dont want me to die at a young age and my daughter go through what I went through. Sorry for the long spill, but it feels good to tell the story.
TL;DR My mom was killed in a car accident.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqebor | As many of these other posts, my mom also passed away. She died April of this year. One month and 27 days before my 21st birthday. She was killed in a car accident by a 17 year old driver that lost control of their car and t-boned my mom on the drivers side, she was trapped in the vehicle. She was on the way to my grandmothers house about 30 miles from my house. I was on the phone with her because she wanted me to look up something for her in the phone book. While I was looking through the phone book, the phone went dead. I tried calling her back about 3 times and figured her down just died. Got a call about 10 minutes later telling me she had been in an accident and broke her leg but she would be okay. I was freaking out but figured she was okay. I was planning on "getting onto her" for wrecking my car. I loaded up my two year old and my little sister and we headed to the hospital. I had already called my aunts and grandmother and they were already there waiting on us. When I enter the ER I told them who I was there to see and they copuldnt find anyone by that name there. I proceeded to call every hospital in the area, but she wasnt at any of them. Thats when I knew something was wrong. If she couldnt tell them who she is then something is wrong. They asked if we had a picture of her that they could see to see if she was back there. My sister handed them her phone that she had used a couple of weeks before to take the picture that would identify my mothers body. They called us back to the family room and the doctors told us that she had died, they tried to do surgery but she had too many internal injuries. At that moment, I wanted to die. I honestly didnt know how I could continue to live without the woman that was my best friend. At that moment, I didnt care that I had a daughter, or a sister that needed me, I didnt care that there were other people depending on me. I just wanted my life to be over. It took me a long time to be okay. I still have time where I really miss her voice, or her hugs, or her advice. I realized that she would never see me get married, or watch my daughter grow. Explaining to my two year old why her Nana was never coming back was one of the hardest things I will EVER have to do. I will never be the person I was. I will never laugh the same. Sometimes I feel bad about being happy or laughing because I feel like I should be sad all the time. I hope that NOBODY has to go through the torture I went through. I do feel like it was made me a better person. I have quit smoking and drinking because I dont want me to die at a young age and my daughter go through what I went through. Sorry for the long spill, but it feels good to tell the story. | My mom was killed in a car accident. |
my_name_isnt_Rick | Less than a week before my first day of college. I was so completely in love with my boyfriend. He was my first love and I would anything for that guy.
All senior year I was helping him with school making sure he got into college, even going as far as impersonating his mother over the phone to get things done (his mom was clueless about college stuff) I paid for his ACTs helped him with application and basically made it so he could just waltz into college.
I loved him so much that when I thought about it, I cried. My feeling for him were so incredibly intense. He was my first love and I put absolutely everyting I could into that relationship. I made myself so vulnerable to him because I trusted him.
A week before the first day we were supposed to go to campus to finish up some things for him. When I called, he didn't answer. After a while, I called his mom. She said he was out with friends then told me she caught him sneaking out with a girl the night before.
The whole day I sat at home, waiting for him to get in contact with me. I couldn't understand what was happening. It wasn't until 10:30 at night that he finally answered my call. When he did, I could tell something was wrong. He apparently was out all day getting high with that girl. He had no explanation for ignoring me or even sneaking out to see her the night before.
Even then, I didn't have the heart to leave him.
The next morning, I decided I needed to be brave and broke up with him. I was so devastated yet, I still called him later to make sure he was okay.
He started officially dating tha other girl two days later. I cried everyday for two weeks straight. His parents would call and check up on me. They were always so amazing.
After we broke up, his car got taken away and he was kicked out because of his drug use. He moved in with the girl and eventually got arrested for theft.
Even after everything, I found myself still worrying about him. I would text him to see if he was okay and message his friends to see if he needed anything. Helping him was an addiction that was ruining me.
After everyone that was in contact with him shut me out, I had no choice but to stop trying to help.
This guy is what broke me. I put everything I had into him and I felt totally screwed over. After everything I did for him, after all the feelings I invested in him, this is how he repaid me?
I've never been able to truly love the way I did with him. its so difficult to open up. I don't want to make myself vulnerable.
During that break up, I got lots of advice from friends and family. One really stood out to me. "If you're spending all your time taking care for him, who's taking care of you?"
After that, I made sure to take care of myself first and to never neglect myself for another person. I alwayes tell myself that quote when I start to forget.
Its been two years since the end of that relationship. Its still a wound in my heart that hurts from time to time but I'm doing better. I just wish I could trust and love fully and completely again.
tl;dr my first love was an asshole. | Less than a week before my first day of college. I was so completely in love with my boyfriend. He was my first love and I would anything for that guy.
All senior year I was helping him with school making sure he got into college, even going as far as impersonating his mother over the phone to get things done (his mom was clueless about college stuff) I paid for his ACTs helped him with application and basically made it so he could just waltz into college.
I loved him so much that when I thought about it, I cried. My feeling for him were so incredibly intense. He was my first love and I put absolutely everyting I could into that relationship. I made myself so vulnerable to him because I trusted him.
A week before the first day we were supposed to go to campus to finish up some things for him. When I called, he didn't answer. After a while, I called his mom. She said he was out with friends then told me she caught him sneaking out with a girl the night before.
The whole day I sat at home, waiting for him to get in contact with me. I couldn't understand what was happening. It wasn't until 10:30 at night that he finally answered my call. When he did, I could tell something was wrong. He apparently was out all day getting high with that girl. He had no explanation for ignoring me or even sneaking out to see her the night before.
Even then, I didn't have the heart to leave him.
The next morning, I decided I needed to be brave and broke up with him. I was so devastated yet, I still called him later to make sure he was okay.
He started officially dating tha other girl two days later. I cried everyday for two weeks straight. His parents would call and check up on me. They were always so amazing.
After we broke up, his car got taken away and he was kicked out because of his drug use. He moved in with the girl and eventually got arrested for theft.
Even after everything, I found myself still worrying about him. I would text him to see if he was okay and message his friends to see if he needed anything. Helping him was an addiction that was ruining me.
After everyone that was in contact with him shut me out, I had no choice but to stop trying to help.
This guy is what broke me. I put everything I had into him and I felt totally screwed over. After everything I did for him, after all the feelings I invested in him, this is how he repaid me?
I've never been able to truly love the way I did with him. its so difficult to open up. I don't want to make myself vulnerable.
During that break up, I got lots of advice from friends and family. One really stood out to me. "If you're spending all your time taking care for him, who's taking care of you?"
After that, I made sure to take care of myself first and to never neglect myself for another person. I alwayes tell myself that quote when I start to forget.
Its been two years since the end of that relationship. Its still a wound in my heart that hurts from time to time but I'm doing better. I just wish I could trust and love fully and completely again.
tl;dr my first love was an asshole.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqec7c | Less than a week before my first day of college. I was so completely in love with my boyfriend. He was my first love and I would anything for that guy.
All senior year I was helping him with school making sure he got into college, even going as far as impersonating his mother over the phone to get things done (his mom was clueless about college stuff) I paid for his ACTs helped him with application and basically made it so he could just waltz into college.
I loved him so much that when I thought about it, I cried. My feeling for him were so incredibly intense. He was my first love and I put absolutely everyting I could into that relationship. I made myself so vulnerable to him because I trusted him.
A week before the first day we were supposed to go to campus to finish up some things for him. When I called, he didn't answer. After a while, I called his mom. She said he was out with friends then told me she caught him sneaking out with a girl the night before.
The whole day I sat at home, waiting for him to get in contact with me. I couldn't understand what was happening. It wasn't until 10:30 at night that he finally answered my call. When he did, I could tell something was wrong. He apparently was out all day getting high with that girl. He had no explanation for ignoring me or even sneaking out to see her the night before.
Even then, I didn't have the heart to leave him.
The next morning, I decided I needed to be brave and broke up with him. I was so devastated yet, I still called him later to make sure he was okay.
He started officially dating tha other girl two days later. I cried everyday for two weeks straight. His parents would call and check up on me. They were always so amazing.
After we broke up, his car got taken away and he was kicked out because of his drug use. He moved in with the girl and eventually got arrested for theft.
Even after everything, I found myself still worrying about him. I would text him to see if he was okay and message his friends to see if he needed anything. Helping him was an addiction that was ruining me.
After everyone that was in contact with him shut me out, I had no choice but to stop trying to help.
This guy is what broke me. I put everything I had into him and I felt totally screwed over. After everything I did for him, after all the feelings I invested in him, this is how he repaid me?
I've never been able to truly love the way I did with him. its so difficult to open up. I don't want to make myself vulnerable.
During that break up, I got lots of advice from friends and family. One really stood out to me. "If you're spending all your time taking care for him, who's taking care of you?"
After that, I made sure to take care of myself first and to never neglect myself for another person. I alwayes tell myself that quote when I start to forget.
Its been two years since the end of that relationship. Its still a wound in my heart that hurts from time to time but I'm doing better. I just wish I could trust and love fully and completely again. | my first love was an asshole. |
InvaderT | I knocked the door and waited. It was 3rd January 2002. I was always a daddy's girl. No answer. I pushed the door and found it opened easily. This was when I went into panic mode. I walked in and shut the door behind me. I was careful not to touch anything in case my dads house had been burgled. How I wish that was the case. I found a letter addressed to "the people I love" I put it in my pocket with the intention of reading it with my father. What I saw as I walked into the living room to this day still haunts me and gives me terrible nightmares. My dad was sat there lifeless. A cable from the wall was in his mouth. There was blood. I burst out crying and found myself stuck to the spot unable to move from shock. I have no idea how long I stood there before I rang for help. From the moment the ambulance arrived I don't remember much. The next week and a half is still a partial blur. I struggled with school and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I also self harmed pretty badly. My whole life has changed since that moment. If I'm in a low episode I have nightmares about that day.
TL:DR found my dad after he had committed suicide. Haunts me to this very day. | I knocked the door and waited. It was 3rd January 2002. I was always a daddy's girl. No answer. I pushed the door and found it opened easily. This was when I went into panic mode. I walked in and shut the door behind me. I was careful not to touch anything in case my dads house had been burgled. How I wish that was the case. I found a letter addressed to "the people I love" I put it in my pocket with the intention of reading it with my father. What I saw as I walked into the living room to this day still haunts me and gives me terrible nightmares. My dad was sat there lifeless. A cable from the wall was in his mouth. There was blood. I burst out crying and found myself stuck to the spot unable to move from shock. I have no idea how long I stood there before I rang for help. From the moment the ambulance arrived I don't remember much. The next week and a half is still a partial blur. I struggled with school and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I also self harmed pretty badly. My whole life has changed since that moment. If I'm in a low episode I have nightmares about that day.
TL:DR found my dad after he had committed suicide. Haunts me to this very day.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqecfq | I knocked the door and waited. It was 3rd January 2002. I was always a daddy's girl. No answer. I pushed the door and found it opened easily. This was when I went into panic mode. I walked in and shut the door behind me. I was careful not to touch anything in case my dads house had been burgled. How I wish that was the case. I found a letter addressed to "the people I love" I put it in my pocket with the intention of reading it with my father. What I saw as I walked into the living room to this day still haunts me and gives me terrible nightmares. My dad was sat there lifeless. A cable from the wall was in his mouth. There was blood. I burst out crying and found myself stuck to the spot unable to move from shock. I have no idea how long I stood there before I rang for help. From the moment the ambulance arrived I don't remember much. The next week and a half is still a partial blur. I struggled with school and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I also self harmed pretty badly. My whole life has changed since that moment. If I'm in a low episode I have nightmares about that day. | found my dad after he had committed suicide. Haunts me to this very day. |
Omega777 | My wife and I were dating for 4 years before we got married. I loved life and everything in it. We talked about children and a new house while we dated and I assume what we laid out was still the plan after marriage, I was wrong.
I just started a new job after being laid off of an old one. This job was union so I got raises when I worked a certain number of hours like a ladder. The plan was to be at the top of my ladder which was 20+/hr and then have a serious discussion about kids and a house. I wanted to get established. The time it would take was about three years time to get to that level. I was about halfway through when we got married...then the fighting began.
My wife kept asking about kids and a house. I gave the same answer every time: I want to be established. Then she would retort with a "No one is ever prepared to have kids" which is true, but I could at least have more money to start off. I begged for more time, it was only going to take a year for crying out loud. This bickering went back and forth until we had...
"The Big One"
I come home one day and she is waiting for me on the couch. I give a cheeful "hey babe" with no response. I walk up and find a shredded pile of paper in front of her. I ask what it is when I pick up a piece and read "Marriage Lic-"....it was our marriage license we signed with love a year before. I ask calmly why this happened and She. Went. Off.
Starting with the reasons I described earlier that she needed kids and a place to raise them. Then I was assaulted on accusations that maybe I'm gay and a pussy that can't handle being a father. I stared in awe as the woman Ive loved for almost five years tear me down like she never has before, only stopping to throw treasured memories at me like a MLB pitcher on roids. Trinkets, pictures, you name it, it came for my head. I tried to reason with her but once it started it couldn't be stopped. What I eventually did was scream so loud that I lost my voice and it shook her out of her rage. I never raised my voice to her and this was the only thing I could think that would help. We sat staring at each other through tears, nothing being said then she said something that broke my heart and tore my soul...
"Ive been sleeping with my friend because he wants kids and you dont"
It hit me like a cliche ton of bricks...I let out one soft sob and then walked outside and got into my car. I drove to a nearby empty park and screamed till I couldn't anymore. Cried til I had no more tears. I sat sobbing for hours.
I want kids...I really do. It was never that I didn't. I just wanted time. I don't understand why it transformed her into a monster...it was heart shattering and now a year later I'm still picking up pieces.
TL;DR- Please read the whole thing I'd appreciate it...thank you. | My wife and I were dating for 4 years before we got married. I loved life and everything in it. We talked about children and a new house while we dated and I assume what we laid out was still the plan after marriage, I was wrong.
I just started a new job after being laid off of an old one. This job was union so I got raises when I worked a certain number of hours like a ladder. The plan was to be at the top of my ladder which was 20+/hr and then have a serious discussion about kids and a house. I wanted to get established. The time it would take was about three years time to get to that level. I was about halfway through when we got married...then the fighting began.
My wife kept asking about kids and a house. I gave the same answer every time: I want to be established. Then she would retort with a "No one is ever prepared to have kids" which is true, but I could at least have more money to start off. I begged for more time, it was only going to take a year for crying out loud. This bickering went back and forth until we had...
"The Big One"
I come home one day and she is waiting for me on the couch. I give a cheeful "hey babe" with no response. I walk up and find a shredded pile of paper in front of her. I ask what it is when I pick up a piece and read "Marriage Lic-"....it was our marriage license we signed with love a year before. I ask calmly why this happened and She. Went. Off.
Starting with the reasons I described earlier that she needed kids and a place to raise them. Then I was assaulted on accusations that maybe I'm gay and a pussy that can't handle being a father. I stared in awe as the woman Ive loved for almost five years tear me down like she never has before, only stopping to throw treasured memories at me like a MLB pitcher on roids. Trinkets, pictures, you name it, it came for my head. I tried to reason with her but once it started it couldn't be stopped. What I eventually did was scream so loud that I lost my voice and it shook her out of her rage. I never raised my voice to her and this was the only thing I could think that would help. We sat staring at each other through tears, nothing being said then she said something that broke my heart and tore my soul...
"Ive been sleeping with my friend because he wants kids and you dont"
It hit me like a cliche ton of bricks...I let out one soft sob and then walked outside and got into my car. I drove to a nearby empty park and screamed till I couldn't anymore. Cried til I had no more tears. I sat sobbing for hours.
I want kids...I really do. It was never that I didn't. I just wanted time. I don't understand why it transformed her into a monster...it was heart shattering and now a year later I'm still picking up pieces.
TL;DR- Please read the whole thing I'd appreciate it...thank you.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqediu | My wife and I were dating for 4 years before we got married. I loved life and everything in it. We talked about children and a new house while we dated and I assume what we laid out was still the plan after marriage, I was wrong.
I just started a new job after being laid off of an old one. This job was union so I got raises when I worked a certain number of hours like a ladder. The plan was to be at the top of my ladder which was 20+/hr and then have a serious discussion about kids and a house. I wanted to get established. The time it would take was about three years time to get to that level. I was about halfway through when we got married...then the fighting began.
My wife kept asking about kids and a house. I gave the same answer every time: I want to be established. Then she would retort with a "No one is ever prepared to have kids" which is true, but I could at least have more money to start off. I begged for more time, it was only going to take a year for crying out loud. This bickering went back and forth until we had...
"The Big One"
I come home one day and she is waiting for me on the couch. I give a cheeful "hey babe" with no response. I walk up and find a shredded pile of paper in front of her. I ask what it is when I pick up a piece and read "Marriage Lic-"....it was our marriage license we signed with love a year before. I ask calmly why this happened and She. Went. Off.
Starting with the reasons I described earlier that she needed kids and a place to raise them. Then I was assaulted on accusations that maybe I'm gay and a pussy that can't handle being a father. I stared in awe as the woman Ive loved for almost five years tear me down like she never has before, only stopping to throw treasured memories at me like a MLB pitcher on roids. Trinkets, pictures, you name it, it came for my head. I tried to reason with her but once it started it couldn't be stopped. What I eventually did was scream so loud that I lost my voice and it shook her out of her rage. I never raised my voice to her and this was the only thing I could think that would help. We sat staring at each other through tears, nothing being said then she said something that broke my heart and tore my soul...
"Ive been sleeping with my friend because he wants kids and you dont"
It hit me like a cliche ton of bricks...I let out one soft sob and then walked outside and got into my car. I drove to a nearby empty park and screamed till I couldn't anymore. Cried til I had no more tears. I sat sobbing for hours.
I want kids...I really do. It was never that I didn't. I just wanted time. I don't understand why it transformed her into a monster...it was heart shattering and now a year later I'm still picking up pieces. | Please read the whole thing I'd appreciate it...thank you. |
tobi_xk | Well, I was completely shattered when my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me earlier this year and got married to some guy 3 months later. I had never felt more connected to a person—had you asked me while we were in a relationship I would have told you that she was my soul mate. We both suffered heavily from depression, and had really saved each other when we first came together. But, her grandma's cancer had come back and was doing doing what cancer does best. Soon both her grandma and her old cat since her childhood passed, and she had the realization that she just wanted to be happy so she broke up with me and started over. I don't blame her.
It was after being alone again that I realized that she had been my only source of happiness. Life had been pretty bleak since my best friend since the third grade overdosed on morphine. THAT was the soul crusher for me. We were both into that sort of stuff—pills, drinking a lot, anything to mask the pain we had inside. Her name was Sadie, and I had always joked that the first three letters of her name were "Sad", and the last three were "die". We always laughed at that. I don't anymore.
The only reason I'm alive is because I promised her I would make it. I've been clean for a long time. I miss and love you Sadie—at least the pain stopped.
TL;DR: Girlfriend broke up with me and that shattered me, but losing my best friend to tragedy a few years before that was what ruined me. | Well, I was completely shattered when my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me earlier this year and got married to some guy 3 months later. I had never felt more connected to a person—had you asked me while we were in a relationship I would have told you that she was my soul mate. We both suffered heavily from depression, and had really saved each other when we first came together. But, her grandma's cancer had come back and was doing doing what cancer does best. Soon both her grandma and her old cat since her childhood passed, and she had the realization that she just wanted to be happy so she broke up with me and started over. I don't blame her.
It was after being alone again that I realized that she had been my only source of happiness. Life had been pretty bleak since my best friend since the third grade overdosed on morphine. THAT was the soul crusher for me. We were both into that sort of stuff—pills, drinking a lot, anything to mask the pain we had inside. Her name was Sadie, and I had always joked that the first three letters of her name were "Sad", and the last three were "die". We always laughed at that. I don't anymore.
The only reason I'm alive is because I promised her I would make it. I've been clean for a long time. I miss and love you Sadie—at least the pain stopped.
TL;DR: Girlfriend broke up with me and that shattered me, but losing my best friend to tragedy a few years before that was what ruined me.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqegi3 | Well, I was completely shattered when my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me earlier this year and got married to some guy 3 months later. I had never felt more connected to a person—had you asked me while we were in a relationship I would have told you that she was my soul mate. We both suffered heavily from depression, and had really saved each other when we first came together. But, her grandma's cancer had come back and was doing doing what cancer does best. Soon both her grandma and her old cat since her childhood passed, and she had the realization that she just wanted to be happy so she broke up with me and started over. I don't blame her.
It was after being alone again that I realized that she had been my only source of happiness. Life had been pretty bleak since my best friend since the third grade overdosed on morphine. THAT was the soul crusher for me. We were both into that sort of stuff—pills, drinking a lot, anything to mask the pain we had inside. Her name was Sadie, and I had always joked that the first three letters of her name were "Sad", and the last three were "die". We always laughed at that. I don't anymore.
The only reason I'm alive is because I promised her I would make it. I've been clean for a long time. I miss and love you Sadie—at least the pain stopped. | Girlfriend broke up with me and that shattered me, but losing my best friend to tragedy a few years before that was what ruined me. |
flak_jack | I will never forget. It was July, I had just graduated highschool and was working at a call center to try to put a dent in my tuition costs. I got a sore throat and a few other symptoms but shrugged it off and kept going to work. It progressively got worse to the point that I finally went to the doctor. I was sent for blood work and told to stay home from work and was given a note. After a week or so of bloodwork I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It was surreal. It took several days to set in and really get to me. I kept fading into this weird state thinking it was just a bad dream. Then i would snap back to reality and realize it was actually a living nightmare.
After a battery of tests and preparation I went for a bone marrow biopsy. It was done by a god awful intern and was one of the most painful experiences of my life.
Later the bone marrow test came back and I found out that I did not have cancer but actually had some sort of virus that somehow mimics Leukemia in the way that it attacks certain cell counts ( note to any redditor doctors, I am not a doctor so I may not have this totally correct.). I continued on and got better after a few more weeks.
Tldr; diagnosed with Leukemia, found out later after coming to terms with it that I didn't have Leukemia. However it was bittersweet because they never did find out what caused it or what it was and I do not know if/when it will return. | I will never forget. It was July, I had just graduated highschool and was working at a call center to try to put a dent in my tuition costs. I got a sore throat and a few other symptoms but shrugged it off and kept going to work. It progressively got worse to the point that I finally went to the doctor. I was sent for blood work and told to stay home from work and was given a note. After a week or so of bloodwork I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It was surreal. It took several days to set in and really get to me. I kept fading into this weird state thinking it was just a bad dream. Then i would snap back to reality and realize it was actually a living nightmare.
After a battery of tests and preparation I went for a bone marrow biopsy. It was done by a god awful intern and was one of the most painful experiences of my life.
Later the bone marrow test came back and I found out that I did not have cancer but actually had some sort of virus that somehow mimics Leukemia in the way that it attacks certain cell counts ( note to any redditor doctors, I am not a doctor so I may not have this totally correct.). I continued on and got better after a few more weeks.
Tldr; diagnosed with Leukemia, found out later after coming to terms with it that I didn't have Leukemia. However it was bittersweet because they never did find out what caused it or what it was and I do not know if/when it will return.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqegmq | I will never forget. It was July, I had just graduated highschool and was working at a call center to try to put a dent in my tuition costs. I got a sore throat and a few other symptoms but shrugged it off and kept going to work. It progressively got worse to the point that I finally went to the doctor. I was sent for blood work and told to stay home from work and was given a note. After a week or so of bloodwork I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It was surreal. It took several days to set in and really get to me. I kept fading into this weird state thinking it was just a bad dream. Then i would snap back to reality and realize it was actually a living nightmare.
After a battery of tests and preparation I went for a bone marrow biopsy. It was done by a god awful intern and was one of the most painful experiences of my life.
Later the bone marrow test came back and I found out that I did not have cancer but actually had some sort of virus that somehow mimics Leukemia in the way that it attacks certain cell counts ( note to any redditor doctors, I am not a doctor so I may not have this totally correct.). I continued on and got better after a few more weeks. | diagnosed with Leukemia, found out later after coming to terms with it that I didn't have Leukemia. However it was bittersweet because they never did find out what caused it or what it was and I do not know if/when it will return. |
Dyrosis | When my Grandma died a number of years ago. She was a fantastic person, the heart of our family. She was old, frail, but still made jars upon jars of jam for the family every year when her and my grandpa's satsuma plum and apricot trees were ripe for picking.
She also had scoliosis from when she was young and underwent an experimental procedure which, to my understanding, was having a piece of her shinbone grafted to her spine to try and make it straight. All in all she was small, fragile, quiet, but deeply loving, and the model christen of Jesus's teachings.
When she passes it was because she was battling pneumonia for about a year and a half and failing lungs because her chest was compressed from the procedure. She couldn't enjoy life and go to the mountains with the family every summer as we used to. She had to be hooked up to machines to live from about November onwards. December came around and there was talk of her deciding to remove pull the plug on the machines.
I didn't think much of it. Grandma couldn't die. She was old and she always had been old, and she'd always stay old. She couldn't die. Christmas rolled around and for some reason I just knew this would be her last Christmas. I spent upwards of 4-5 hours crafting a handmade clay picture frame out of her favorite colors of the bake-able clay. I then took the last picture from our family trip to the mountains and put it in there.
Anyways, Christmas rolled around and we all went to the hospital after opening our gifts to give Grandma ours. I didn't cry the whole time. I didn't even cry when I realized Grandma wouldn't be around next year. It was like there was the realization, but it was stuck in syrup and refused to hit me.
Anyways, three days later, exactly 6 months before my birthday on Dec 28th she passed away from removal of her life support systems. She couldn't stand not being able to work on her own. She was miserable and death was preferable, though it was not suicide. It was just removing life support and letting her body die instead of keeping it on this artificial life.
She still hadn't died in my mind though. I'd seen her alive and I usually didn't see her again until summer, but due to circumstances I wouldn't be seeing her in summer either. Back to the point. I was numb, there was this syrup that stopped all emotions around me, and I never cried so my mom began to get angry with me like I wasn't even sad, and to be honest, I wasn't.
When it hit me was when next Christmas came around. She wasn't there. Grandpa was there alone. The huge loving, boisterous giant was slouching, looking down, hardly speaking without his little, gentle, loving wife there to look after him. At one point I looked at him, our eyes met, or I think they did, I walked over hugged him, and then left the house for 20 minutes to walk around the neighborhood, or maybe sit in the backyard, and cry. I really don't remember.
From this point, I hardly remember anything until nearly 2 years later. I know I slept for upwards of 11-13 hours a day, stopped being a straight A+ student in favor of a high B average because I didn't put the work in anymore. I played a lot of video games, particularly starcraft II, and got really good at hiding my emotions. I got good enough at hiding my emotions I forgot what it was like to have emotions for about two years. Coming out of that was an adventure, and not a pleasant one. I'd still be there if it we're for one of my friends who I met, got to know, and who pulled me out at the same time.
Shit, that's an essay.
Tl;dr: Grandma died, was in shock for a year and then forgot how to have emotions for two. | When my Grandma died a number of years ago. She was a fantastic person, the heart of our family. She was old, frail, but still made jars upon jars of jam for the family every year when her and my grandpa's satsuma plum and apricot trees were ripe for picking.
She also had scoliosis from when she was young and underwent an experimental procedure which, to my understanding, was having a piece of her shinbone grafted to her spine to try and make it straight. All in all she was small, fragile, quiet, but deeply loving, and the model christen of Jesus's teachings.
When she passes it was because she was battling pneumonia for about a year and a half and failing lungs because her chest was compressed from the procedure. She couldn't enjoy life and go to the mountains with the family every summer as we used to. She had to be hooked up to machines to live from about November onwards. December came around and there was talk of her deciding to remove pull the plug on the machines.
I didn't think much of it. Grandma couldn't die. She was old and she always had been old, and she'd always stay old. She couldn't die. Christmas rolled around and for some reason I just knew this would be her last Christmas. I spent upwards of 4-5 hours crafting a handmade clay picture frame out of her favorite colors of the bake-able clay. I then took the last picture from our family trip to the mountains and put it in there.
Anyways, Christmas rolled around and we all went to the hospital after opening our gifts to give Grandma ours. I didn't cry the whole time. I didn't even cry when I realized Grandma wouldn't be around next year. It was like there was the realization, but it was stuck in syrup and refused to hit me.
Anyways, three days later, exactly 6 months before my birthday on Dec 28th she passed away from removal of her life support systems. She couldn't stand not being able to work on her own. She was miserable and death was preferable, though it was not suicide. It was just removing life support and letting her body die instead of keeping it on this artificial life.
She still hadn't died in my mind though. I'd seen her alive and I usually didn't see her again until summer, but due to circumstances I wouldn't be seeing her in summer either. Back to the point. I was numb, there was this syrup that stopped all emotions around me, and I never cried so my mom began to get angry with me like I wasn't even sad, and to be honest, I wasn't.
When it hit me was when next Christmas came around. She wasn't there. Grandpa was there alone. The huge loving, boisterous giant was slouching, looking down, hardly speaking without his little, gentle, loving wife there to look after him. At one point I looked at him, our eyes met, or I think they did, I walked over hugged him, and then left the house for 20 minutes to walk around the neighborhood, or maybe sit in the backyard, and cry. I really don't remember.
From this point, I hardly remember anything until nearly 2 years later. I know I slept for upwards of 11-13 hours a day, stopped being a straight A+ student in favor of a high B average because I didn't put the work in anymore. I played a lot of video games, particularly starcraft II, and got really good at hiding my emotions. I got good enough at hiding my emotions I forgot what it was like to have emotions for about two years. Coming out of that was an adventure, and not a pleasant one. I'd still be there if it we're for one of my friends who I met, got to know, and who pulled me out at the same time.
Shit, that's an essay.
Tl;dr: Grandma died, was in shock for a year and then forgot how to have emotions for two.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqeli9 | When my Grandma died a number of years ago. She was a fantastic person, the heart of our family. She was old, frail, but still made jars upon jars of jam for the family every year when her and my grandpa's satsuma plum and apricot trees were ripe for picking.
She also had scoliosis from when she was young and underwent an experimental procedure which, to my understanding, was having a piece of her shinbone grafted to her spine to try and make it straight. All in all she was small, fragile, quiet, but deeply loving, and the model christen of Jesus's teachings.
When she passes it was because she was battling pneumonia for about a year and a half and failing lungs because her chest was compressed from the procedure. She couldn't enjoy life and go to the mountains with the family every summer as we used to. She had to be hooked up to machines to live from about November onwards. December came around and there was talk of her deciding to remove pull the plug on the machines.
I didn't think much of it. Grandma couldn't die. She was old and she always had been old, and she'd always stay old. She couldn't die. Christmas rolled around and for some reason I just knew this would be her last Christmas. I spent upwards of 4-5 hours crafting a handmade clay picture frame out of her favorite colors of the bake-able clay. I then took the last picture from our family trip to the mountains and put it in there.
Anyways, Christmas rolled around and we all went to the hospital after opening our gifts to give Grandma ours. I didn't cry the whole time. I didn't even cry when I realized Grandma wouldn't be around next year. It was like there was the realization, but it was stuck in syrup and refused to hit me.
Anyways, three days later, exactly 6 months before my birthday on Dec 28th she passed away from removal of her life support systems. She couldn't stand not being able to work on her own. She was miserable and death was preferable, though it was not suicide. It was just removing life support and letting her body die instead of keeping it on this artificial life.
She still hadn't died in my mind though. I'd seen her alive and I usually didn't see her again until summer, but due to circumstances I wouldn't be seeing her in summer either. Back to the point. I was numb, there was this syrup that stopped all emotions around me, and I never cried so my mom began to get angry with me like I wasn't even sad, and to be honest, I wasn't.
When it hit me was when next Christmas came around. She wasn't there. Grandpa was there alone. The huge loving, boisterous giant was slouching, looking down, hardly speaking without his little, gentle, loving wife there to look after him. At one point I looked at him, our eyes met, or I think they did, I walked over hugged him, and then left the house for 20 minutes to walk around the neighborhood, or maybe sit in the backyard, and cry. I really don't remember.
From this point, I hardly remember anything until nearly 2 years later. I know I slept for upwards of 11-13 hours a day, stopped being a straight A+ student in favor of a high B average because I didn't put the work in anymore. I played a lot of video games, particularly starcraft II, and got really good at hiding my emotions. I got good enough at hiding my emotions I forgot what it was like to have emotions for about two years. Coming out of that was an adventure, and not a pleasant one. I'd still be there if it we're for one of my friends who I met, got to know, and who pulled me out at the same time.
Shit, that's an essay. | Grandma died, was in shock for a year and then forgot how to have emotions for two. |
badbedhead | Well after reading a couple of these posts I feel like I shouldn't even post mine. For all those before me, my deepest condolences. All of your posts showed me that I haven't had to deal with anything serious in my life yet.
I am a mall employee and got slammed with the black Friday shift. (8 p.m. - 8 a.m.) So I spent thanksgiving as usual with the fam bam and prepared myself for the horror that is black Friday. But before I left, I asked if I could buy a ps4 for my cousin as I hadn't really gotten him a gift for his past birthday. I got the green light and actually went around to all the stores that opened at 6 to see if I could get one before my shift. Of course trying to find one was harder than finding oil in my backyard. So I gave up and went to work. Slaved away with the nagging thought that near the end of my shift, I should go looking more. So I start calling stores near me and came upon this gamestop twenty minutes away. The guy on the phone said they have one ps4 left in stock first come first serve. I ran to my car like a mad man, and drove like one too half asleep mind you. Pull up to the store and a nice gentleman holds the door for me. But he was having trouble because his other hand had a bag in it. I run up to the counter and told them I called about the ps4. The employees all got this really worried look on their faces and I knew right then and there what transaction just occurred. It felt like right out of a movie I couldn't really believe it. The guy that held the door open for me bought the last one... The employees were so worried that I was going to throw a fit our something they started to apologize immediately. But I had gone through exactly what they had all night and was not going to put them through more. Sat in my car, zoned out for a bit truly defeated, and then zombied my way home.
Tldr: tried to get a ps4 for my cousin in black Friday, failed by a mere couple of seconds and watched it happen without realizing it. | Well after reading a couple of these posts I feel like I shouldn't even post mine. For all those before me, my deepest condolences. All of your posts showed me that I haven't had to deal with anything serious in my life yet.
I am a mall employee and got slammed with the black Friday shift. (8 p.m. - 8 a.m.) So I spent thanksgiving as usual with the fam bam and prepared myself for the horror that is black Friday. But before I left, I asked if I could buy a ps4 for my cousin as I hadn't really gotten him a gift for his past birthday. I got the green light and actually went around to all the stores that opened at 6 to see if I could get one before my shift. Of course trying to find one was harder than finding oil in my backyard. So I gave up and went to work. Slaved away with the nagging thought that near the end of my shift, I should go looking more. So I start calling stores near me and came upon this gamestop twenty minutes away. The guy on the phone said they have one ps4 left in stock first come first serve. I ran to my car like a mad man, and drove like one too half asleep mind you. Pull up to the store and a nice gentleman holds the door for me. But he was having trouble because his other hand had a bag in it. I run up to the counter and told them I called about the ps4. The employees all got this really worried look on their faces and I knew right then and there what transaction just occurred. It felt like right out of a movie I couldn't really believe it. The guy that held the door open for me bought the last one... The employees were so worried that I was going to throw a fit our something they started to apologize immediately. But I had gone through exactly what they had all night and was not going to put them through more. Sat in my car, zoned out for a bit truly defeated, and then zombied my way home.
Tldr: tried to get a ps4 for my cousin in black Friday, failed by a mere couple of seconds and watched it happen without realizing it.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqemw8 | Well after reading a couple of these posts I feel like I shouldn't even post mine. For all those before me, my deepest condolences. All of your posts showed me that I haven't had to deal with anything serious in my life yet.
I am a mall employee and got slammed with the black Friday shift. (8 p.m. - 8 a.m.) So I spent thanksgiving as usual with the fam bam and prepared myself for the horror that is black Friday. But before I left, I asked if I could buy a ps4 for my cousin as I hadn't really gotten him a gift for his past birthday. I got the green light and actually went around to all the stores that opened at 6 to see if I could get one before my shift. Of course trying to find one was harder than finding oil in my backyard. So I gave up and went to work. Slaved away with the nagging thought that near the end of my shift, I should go looking more. So I start calling stores near me and came upon this gamestop twenty minutes away. The guy on the phone said they have one ps4 left in stock first come first serve. I ran to my car like a mad man, and drove like one too half asleep mind you. Pull up to the store and a nice gentleman holds the door for me. But he was having trouble because his other hand had a bag in it. I run up to the counter and told them I called about the ps4. The employees all got this really worried look on their faces and I knew right then and there what transaction just occurred. It felt like right out of a movie I couldn't really believe it. The guy that held the door open for me bought the last one... The employees were so worried that I was going to throw a fit our something they started to apologize immediately. But I had gone through exactly what they had all night and was not going to put them through more. Sat in my car, zoned out for a bit truly defeated, and then zombied my way home. | tried to get a ps4 for my cousin in black Friday, failed by a mere couple of seconds and watched it happen without realizing it. |
sabin357 | I was engaged to my HS sweetheart. She left when I was 22 to move to the other side of the country for grad school. I wasn't invited to come with. I assumed all would work out and we'd get back together cause I loved her more than anything before or since. Six months later she calls to let me know she's dating someone new...a lady.
I had suspected for awhile that she was bi, but she resisted any help on my part to discover this herself. Leaving me was her reset button on her life. The person I loved was no more. I felt as if she'd died & treated it as such. I was friends with the "new her", but that wasn't the same person at all.
I made my peace with it as best a guy can & met the sexiest girl I've ever seen when she came to a party I was throwing. I stole her from the guy she was with with a look from across the room. She didn't leave my place that night or for a few days after. I was head over heels crazy for this lady. It wasn't love. Love could not have survived this heat. It was infatuation, with the promise of love.
Life was great...my roommate gives me a heads up that my girl hit on him. What!? Another friend says the same. The fuck!? I find out that while she's stayed with me almost 2 weeks, she has fucked 7 guys & solicited at least 3 of my friends. She got the boot.
**TL;DR - Two Elizabeth's in 6 months. First shattered my heart. Second poked holes in the remaining pieces. My heart is now a sieve that can never be filled.** | I was engaged to my HS sweetheart. She left when I was 22 to move to the other side of the country for grad school. I wasn't invited to come with. I assumed all would work out and we'd get back together cause I loved her more than anything before or since. Six months later she calls to let me know she's dating someone new...a lady.
I had suspected for awhile that she was bi, but she resisted any help on my part to discover this herself. Leaving me was her reset button on her life. The person I loved was no more. I felt as if she'd died & treated it as such. I was friends with the "new her", but that wasn't the same person at all.
I made my peace with it as best a guy can & met the sexiest girl I've ever seen when she came to a party I was throwing. I stole her from the guy she was with with a look from across the room. She didn't leave my place that night or for a few days after. I was head over heels crazy for this lady. It wasn't love. Love could not have survived this heat. It was infatuation, with the promise of love.
Life was great...my roommate gives me a heads up that my girl hit on him. What!? Another friend says the same. The fuck!? I find out that while she's stayed with me almost 2 weeks, she has fucked 7 guys & solicited at least 3 of my friends. She got the boot.
TL;DR - Two Elizabeth's in 6 months. First shattered my heart. Second poked holes in the remaining pieces. My heart is now a sieve that can never be filled.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqeol7 | I was engaged to my HS sweetheart. She left when I was 22 to move to the other side of the country for grad school. I wasn't invited to come with. I assumed all would work out and we'd get back together cause I loved her more than anything before or since. Six months later she calls to let me know she's dating someone new...a lady.
I had suspected for awhile that she was bi, but she resisted any help on my part to discover this herself. Leaving me was her reset button on her life. The person I loved was no more. I felt as if she'd died & treated it as such. I was friends with the "new her", but that wasn't the same person at all.
I made my peace with it as best a guy can & met the sexiest girl I've ever seen when she came to a party I was throwing. I stole her from the guy she was with with a look from across the room. She didn't leave my place that night or for a few days after. I was head over heels crazy for this lady. It wasn't love. Love could not have survived this heat. It was infatuation, with the promise of love.
Life was great...my roommate gives me a heads up that my girl hit on him. What!? Another friend says the same. The fuck!? I find out that while she's stayed with me almost 2 weeks, she has fucked 7 guys & solicited at least 3 of my friends. She got the boot. | Two Elizabeth's in 6 months. First shattered my heart. Second poked holes in the remaining pieces. My heart is now a sieve that can never be filled. |
KendraSays | When my grandmother died, it completely shattered me. I'm just going to include a short story of that day. I went to go spend a few days at my best friend's house to keep my mind off my grandmother's failing health (she was on hospice and living with my aunt and cousins). While at my friend's school, I got the call from my cousin that she wasn't breathing and that she'd have to call me back. My brain didn't register what was happening and I thought that she would be okay (that somehow she could be resuscitated). So I sat there (somehow during the phone call I just sat down in the middle of the quad as people went to go to their respective classes). My best friend asked what was wrong and I just looked at her, confused. My cousin called back and I asked how she was and then she said that my grandmother was gone. I remember screaming and weaping, but it was out of denial rather than acceptance. My cousin then told me that I had to tell my mom (who worked graveyard and wasn't back home yet). I told my best friend to go to class, because it didn't truly register.
For the next couple of hours I just kept trying to call my mom (her cell phone and the house phone). When I finally did get ahold of my mom I said, " 'L' (cousin's name) said that grandma's gone" rather than, "Grandma's gone." She obviously started freaking out and I did the same, but she said she was going to go over to my aunt's house (which I couldn't do emotionally).
Anyways, my best friend gets out of class and rushes to find me. I get another phone call telling me that my mom was rushed to the hospital. At this point in time, I'm in shock. I just had to deal with my grandmother dying and then my mom is being sent to the E.R.
, being the saint that my best friend is, she takes to the hospital. My aunt stops by briefly to give me my mom's car keys (I couldn't drive at that time) and then she said she'd make the funeral arrangments before she left to go back to work. The doctor asked me what medications was my mom on because she had various ailments. I honestly didn't know and because I didn't know they couldn't give her anything. Eventually I sorted this out but the idea that I could lose my mother at the same time as my grandmother put me in this sort of "stasis"/shock period.
A few days later was the funeral. It was terrible for me. For one the preacher kept trying to convert people. I'm not Christian, but when I was one my biggest problem was conversion. If someone wanted to join the faith that's fine, but actively targeting a group and telling them to choose Jesus was infuriating, especially when the preacher didn't know shit about my grandmother. Add in the fact that the electronics and sound system were malfunctioning (because the staff didn't think it was important to do sound checks before the service), and the fact that there was a "party" afterwards that involved family and friends eating and laughing, I was angry. I understand the importance of celebrating life and cherishing the good memories over the bad (in fact, I envy every single person who can do this), but for me, I want the somber clothes and the crying, and the hugging.
So months go by. It doesn't sink it that I've lost my grandmother until I'm at my college dining hall. I'm eating tacos and then I have a flash back to when my grandmother would pick me up after school and we'd go to Taco Bell, rush home to watch her "stories" and gossip about my mom's boyfriend. It hit me all at once and I cried. I cried like I've never cried before. It lasted for a whole week but it was the mourning period that I really needed.
Thanksgiving has never been the same. :(
Sorry for the typos and length of the story. I was crying as I wrote this. Even though it hurts, it's very cathartic for me to tell the story. Thank you to anyone who reads this. For those close to anyone (it doesn't have to be your grandmother), please hug them for me!
TLDR; My grandmother passed away which caused my mom to end up in the E.R. I went into shock for months afterwards and ended up breaking down while eating dining hall tacos.
| When my grandmother died, it completely shattered me. I'm just going to include a short story of that day. I went to go spend a few days at my best friend's house to keep my mind off my grandmother's failing health (she was on hospice and living with my aunt and cousins). While at my friend's school, I got the call from my cousin that she wasn't breathing and that she'd have to call me back. My brain didn't register what was happening and I thought that she would be okay (that somehow she could be resuscitated). So I sat there (somehow during the phone call I just sat down in the middle of the quad as people went to go to their respective classes). My best friend asked what was wrong and I just looked at her, confused. My cousin called back and I asked how she was and then she said that my grandmother was gone. I remember screaming and weaping, but it was out of denial rather than acceptance. My cousin then told me that I had to tell my mom (who worked graveyard and wasn't back home yet). I told my best friend to go to class, because it didn't truly register.
For the next couple of hours I just kept trying to call my mom (her cell phone and the house phone). When I finally did get ahold of my mom I said, " 'L' (cousin's name) said that grandma's gone" rather than, "Grandma's gone." She obviously started freaking out and I did the same, but she said she was going to go over to my aunt's house (which I couldn't do emotionally).
Anyways, my best friend gets out of class and rushes to find me. I get another phone call telling me that my mom was rushed to the hospital. At this point in time, I'm in shock. I just had to deal with my grandmother dying and then my mom is being sent to the E.R.
, being the saint that my best friend is, she takes to the hospital. My aunt stops by briefly to give me my mom's car keys (I couldn't drive at that time) and then she said she'd make the funeral arrangments before she left to go back to work. The doctor asked me what medications was my mom on because she had various ailments. I honestly didn't know and because I didn't know they couldn't give her anything. Eventually I sorted this out but the idea that I could lose my mother at the same time as my grandmother put me in this sort of "stasis"/shock period.
A few days later was the funeral. It was terrible for me. For one the preacher kept trying to convert people. I'm not Christian, but when I was one my biggest problem was conversion. If someone wanted to join the faith that's fine, but actively targeting a group and telling them to choose Jesus was infuriating, especially when the preacher didn't know shit about my grandmother. Add in the fact that the electronics and sound system were malfunctioning (because the staff didn't think it was important to do sound checks before the service), and the fact that there was a "party" afterwards that involved family and friends eating and laughing, I was angry. I understand the importance of celebrating life and cherishing the good memories over the bad (in fact, I envy every single person who can do this), but for me, I want the somber clothes and the crying, and the hugging.
So months go by. It doesn't sink it that I've lost my grandmother until I'm at my college dining hall. I'm eating tacos and then I have a flash back to when my grandmother would pick me up after school and we'd go to Taco Bell, rush home to watch her "stories" and gossip about my mom's boyfriend. It hit me all at once and I cried. I cried like I've never cried before. It lasted for a whole week but it was the mourning period that I really needed.
Thanksgiving has never been the same. :(
Sorry for the typos and length of the story. I was crying as I wrote this. Even though it hurts, it's very cathartic for me to tell the story. Thank you to anyone who reads this. For those close to anyone (it doesn't have to be your grandmother), please hug them for me!
TLDR; My grandmother passed away which caused my mom to end up in the E.R. I went into shock for months afterwards and ended up breaking down while eating dining hall tacos.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqepbx | When my grandmother died, it completely shattered me. I'm just going to include a short story of that day. I went to go spend a few days at my best friend's house to keep my mind off my grandmother's failing health (she was on hospice and living with my aunt and cousins). While at my friend's school, I got the call from my cousin that she wasn't breathing and that she'd have to call me back. My brain didn't register what was happening and I thought that she would be okay (that somehow she could be resuscitated). So I sat there (somehow during the phone call I just sat down in the middle of the quad as people went to go to their respective classes). My best friend asked what was wrong and I just looked at her, confused. My cousin called back and I asked how she was and then she said that my grandmother was gone. I remember screaming and weaping, but it was out of denial rather than acceptance. My cousin then told me that I had to tell my mom (who worked graveyard and wasn't back home yet). I told my best friend to go to class, because it didn't truly register.
For the next couple of hours I just kept trying to call my mom (her cell phone and the house phone). When I finally did get ahold of my mom I said, " 'L' (cousin's name) said that grandma's gone" rather than, "Grandma's gone." She obviously started freaking out and I did the same, but she said she was going to go over to my aunt's house (which I couldn't do emotionally).
Anyways, my best friend gets out of class and rushes to find me. I get another phone call telling me that my mom was rushed to the hospital. At this point in time, I'm in shock. I just had to deal with my grandmother dying and then my mom is being sent to the E.R.
, being the saint that my best friend is, she takes to the hospital. My aunt stops by briefly to give me my mom's car keys (I couldn't drive at that time) and then she said she'd make the funeral arrangments before she left to go back to work. The doctor asked me what medications was my mom on because she had various ailments. I honestly didn't know and because I didn't know they couldn't give her anything. Eventually I sorted this out but the idea that I could lose my mother at the same time as my grandmother put me in this sort of "stasis"/shock period.
A few days later was the funeral. It was terrible for me. For one the preacher kept trying to convert people. I'm not Christian, but when I was one my biggest problem was conversion. If someone wanted to join the faith that's fine, but actively targeting a group and telling them to choose Jesus was infuriating, especially when the preacher didn't know shit about my grandmother. Add in the fact that the electronics and sound system were malfunctioning (because the staff didn't think it was important to do sound checks before the service), and the fact that there was a "party" afterwards that involved family and friends eating and laughing, I was angry. I understand the importance of celebrating life and cherishing the good memories over the bad (in fact, I envy every single person who can do this), but for me, I want the somber clothes and the crying, and the hugging.
So months go by. It doesn't sink it that I've lost my grandmother until I'm at my college dining hall. I'm eating tacos and then I have a flash back to when my grandmother would pick me up after school and we'd go to Taco Bell, rush home to watch her "stories" and gossip about my mom's boyfriend. It hit me all at once and I cried. I cried like I've never cried before. It lasted for a whole week but it was the mourning period that I really needed.
Thanksgiving has never been the same. :(
Sorry for the typos and length of the story. I was crying as I wrote this. Even though it hurts, it's very cathartic for me to tell the story. Thank you to anyone who reads this. For those close to anyone (it doesn't have to be your grandmother), please hug them for me! | My grandmother passed away which caused my mom to end up in the E.R. I went into shock for months afterwards and ended up breaking down while eating dining hall tacos. |
TheIdealMoron | I have two.
The summer after I graduated high school, my brother passed away. He was born with Alagille Syndrome, a genetic gene mutation that affects heart, liver, lungs, and height. Now when he and his twin were born, they were given a life expectancy of about six months. So having him for almost 17 years was a huge blessing.
When things started going wrong, we thought it was just an abnormality of Alagille Syndrome (called AGS from now on) and went through the routine of notifying the specialist doctors what was happening. Since Chris was coughing up blood they told us to go to the local ER. I suppose it's worth saying at this point that I live in the US. The specialists for my brother are in southern Ohio ad myself and my family live in Northern Ohio. The local ER can't find anything wrong. My brother is still coughing up fresh blood so the specialist says to come to see them. It's a three+ hour drive. As soon as he and my parents get there, they do an MRI and admit him to ICU.
See, my brother had congenital heart disease. The left half of his heart didn't exactly grow correctly so he had always had circulation problems. To compensate, his body had made capillary veins into his lungs to provide blood to be oxegynated. Every time Chris would cough, the veins would break and bleed into his lungs. It got progressively worse to the point where they had to keep him sedated to keep him from feeling pain. Countless heart caths and scopes had been done to clear out the veins but by that point his lungs were 3/4 of blood.
The crushing moment? Hearing my father tell me that Chris was not going to make it. It was all so surreal. Could this really be happening? I had to say 'See you later' as he took his last breaths at his bedside.
The blessing for me came in that my last memory of Chris when he was still awake was that I gave him a huge hug before he, my mom, And my dad left for the hospital.
The other heartbreak was when the girl I had been dating for 18 months that I planned on proposing to left me for a significantly older man with three kids.
Tl;DR, count your blessings while you have them. | I have two.
The summer after I graduated high school, my brother passed away. He was born with Alagille Syndrome, a genetic gene mutation that affects heart, liver, lungs, and height. Now when he and his twin were born, they were given a life expectancy of about six months. So having him for almost 17 years was a huge blessing.
When things started going wrong, we thought it was just an abnormality of Alagille Syndrome (called AGS from now on) and went through the routine of notifying the specialist doctors what was happening. Since Chris was coughing up blood they told us to go to the local ER. I suppose it's worth saying at this point that I live in the US. The specialists for my brother are in southern Ohio ad myself and my family live in Northern Ohio. The local ER can't find anything wrong. My brother is still coughing up fresh blood so the specialist says to come to see them. It's a three+ hour drive. As soon as he and my parents get there, they do an MRI and admit him to ICU.
See, my brother had congenital heart disease. The left half of his heart didn't exactly grow correctly so he had always had circulation problems. To compensate, his body had made capillary veins into his lungs to provide blood to be oxegynated. Every time Chris would cough, the veins would break and bleed into his lungs. It got progressively worse to the point where they had to keep him sedated to keep him from feeling pain. Countless heart caths and scopes had been done to clear out the veins but by that point his lungs were 3/4 of blood.
The crushing moment? Hearing my father tell me that Chris was not going to make it. It was all so surreal. Could this really be happening? I had to say 'See you later' as he took his last breaths at his bedside.
The blessing for me came in that my last memory of Chris when he was still awake was that I gave him a huge hug before he, my mom, And my dad left for the hospital.
The other heartbreak was when the girl I had been dating for 18 months that I planned on proposing to left me for a significantly older man with three kids.
Tl;DR, count your blessings while you have them.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqestr | I have two.
The summer after I graduated high school, my brother passed away. He was born with Alagille Syndrome, a genetic gene mutation that affects heart, liver, lungs, and height. Now when he and his twin were born, they were given a life expectancy of about six months. So having him for almost 17 years was a huge blessing.
When things started going wrong, we thought it was just an abnormality of Alagille Syndrome (called AGS from now on) and went through the routine of notifying the specialist doctors what was happening. Since Chris was coughing up blood they told us to go to the local ER. I suppose it's worth saying at this point that I live in the US. The specialists for my brother are in southern Ohio ad myself and my family live in Northern Ohio. The local ER can't find anything wrong. My brother is still coughing up fresh blood so the specialist says to come to see them. It's a three+ hour drive. As soon as he and my parents get there, they do an MRI and admit him to ICU.
See, my brother had congenital heart disease. The left half of his heart didn't exactly grow correctly so he had always had circulation problems. To compensate, his body had made capillary veins into his lungs to provide blood to be oxegynated. Every time Chris would cough, the veins would break and bleed into his lungs. It got progressively worse to the point where they had to keep him sedated to keep him from feeling pain. Countless heart caths and scopes had been done to clear out the veins but by that point his lungs were 3/4 of blood.
The crushing moment? Hearing my father tell me that Chris was not going to make it. It was all so surreal. Could this really be happening? I had to say 'See you later' as he took his last breaths at his bedside.
The blessing for me came in that my last memory of Chris when he was still awake was that I gave him a huge hug before he, my mom, And my dad left for the hospital.
The other heartbreak was when the girl I had been dating for 18 months that I planned on proposing to left me for a significantly older man with three kids. | count your blessings while you have them. |
ReJ1015 | I recently had a girlfriend that was pretty serious. We started dating and she confided in me that she had been raped. Long story short, I helped her through it mentally and held her hand through the proceedings with my university to have the son of a bitch who did it kicked out. Obviously she was extremely shaken up, night terrors, phone calls at 4am with her balling her eyes out, etc....
It became a lot to handle and we started to have problems, broke up and got back together over Christmas. We dated another three months and I found out from my friend she had slept with someone else and was trying to keep it from me. I was so heartbroken, but I still loved this girl. We kept dating for a short time and she eventually called it off. I had been going through some shit with my family at the time, and I just asked her how she could just do that to me and abandon me after everything. Her response was "Just because you helped me get through my problems doesn't mean I need to help you with yours.
Hearing that was one of the most cold-hearted, upsetting things I have ever been told in my life. I had put in so much effort to make sure this girl was okay and that she would be able to come to grips with what happened, and it just felt like it didn't mean shit to her.
It (along with some other factors) sent me into a deeeeep depression, I mean suicidal and all. It was awful I felt so worthless for so long.
The worst part is she tried to come back to me and rekindle things (we had sex regularly for 2 months, hanging out, going on dates). Then decided she really didn't want anything from me and two weeks after sleeping with me, started dating a guy she promised she had no interest in.
Tl;dr dated a girl and helped her through being rape, she cheated on and dumped me saying she didn't need to help me with my problems. | I recently had a girlfriend that was pretty serious. We started dating and she confided in me that she had been raped. Long story short, I helped her through it mentally and held her hand through the proceedings with my university to have the son of a bitch who did it kicked out. Obviously she was extremely shaken up, night terrors, phone calls at 4am with her balling her eyes out, etc....
It became a lot to handle and we started to have problems, broke up and got back together over Christmas. We dated another three months and I found out from my friend she had slept with someone else and was trying to keep it from me. I was so heartbroken, but I still loved this girl. We kept dating for a short time and she eventually called it off. I had been going through some shit with my family at the time, and I just asked her how she could just do that to me and abandon me after everything. Her response was "Just because you helped me get through my problems doesn't mean I need to help you with yours.
Hearing that was one of the most cold-hearted, upsetting things I have ever been told in my life. I had put in so much effort to make sure this girl was okay and that she would be able to come to grips with what happened, and it just felt like it didn't mean shit to her.
It (along with some other factors) sent me into a deeeeep depression, I mean suicidal and all. It was awful I felt so worthless for so long.
The worst part is she tried to come back to me and rekindle things (we had sex regularly for 2 months, hanging out, going on dates). Then decided she really didn't want anything from me and two weeks after sleeping with me, started dating a guy she promised she had no interest in.
Tl;dr dated a girl and helped her through being rape, she cheated on and dumped me saying she didn't need to help me with my problems.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqf1rx | I recently had a girlfriend that was pretty serious. We started dating and she confided in me that she had been raped. Long story short, I helped her through it mentally and held her hand through the proceedings with my university to have the son of a bitch who did it kicked out. Obviously she was extremely shaken up, night terrors, phone calls at 4am with her balling her eyes out, etc....
It became a lot to handle and we started to have problems, broke up and got back together over Christmas. We dated another three months and I found out from my friend she had slept with someone else and was trying to keep it from me. I was so heartbroken, but I still loved this girl. We kept dating for a short time and she eventually called it off. I had been going through some shit with my family at the time, and I just asked her how she could just do that to me and abandon me after everything. Her response was "Just because you helped me get through my problems doesn't mean I need to help you with yours.
Hearing that was one of the most cold-hearted, upsetting things I have ever been told in my life. I had put in so much effort to make sure this girl was okay and that she would be able to come to grips with what happened, and it just felt like it didn't mean shit to her.
It (along with some other factors) sent me into a deeeeep depression, I mean suicidal and all. It was awful I felt so worthless for so long.
The worst part is she tried to come back to me and rekindle things (we had sex regularly for 2 months, hanging out, going on dates). Then decided she really didn't want anything from me and two weeks after sleeping with me, started dating a guy she promised she had no interest in. | dated a girl and helped her through being rape, she cheated on and dumped me saying she didn't need to help me with my problems. |
saucydragon | Joe had been talking about meeting up with me for days, just the two of us, he had something so important to tell me. I was nervous. I'd known Joe for some time now; he was friend I'd met through my boyfriend at the time, Daniel. We were all pretty tight but Joe and I never hung out alone. What could he have to tell me? Maybe he was in love with me or something? No, that was crazy. Couldn't be like that, right?
And my boyfriend had been acting weird, too, but he wouldn't really say anything. God this was weird. Why was everybody acting so weird? Who had *died*???
My best friend, she knew what was up. Joe had confided in her. She was acting the weirdest of everybody, but she wouldn't tell me a thing. This was the worst.
But eventually, the day finally came. I met up with Joe at this little coffeeshop and he seemed even more nervous than I was. For a second I returned to the whole 'maybe he's in love with me' theory. But I let him talk. And talk he did. The words started go come, careful at first, tentative, and then slowly more descriptive, more urgent. I listened in almost pure silence, my heart starting to tighten even though he hadn't yet said anything significant. His story was a freight train now, out of control, picking up speed and I could tell by the frantic look in his eyes that I'd been tied to the tracks the whole time. But he couldn't cut me loose, nobody could.
When the words finally came out--the words that mattered--I didn't feel the impact. Joe must've misunderstood, he had the story wrong. Daniel would never have done that to me. We'd been together over a year, we were the perfect--albeit completely mad and dysfunctional--couple. We were desperately in love. We were Mickey and Mallory, we were Clarence and Alabama--we were partners in crime and if anything was going to come between us, it was going to be our own craziness...not *Joe's ex-girlfriend*. And I especially wasn't going to believe that my brother had caught them going at it and...joined in. I told Daniel as much. I think my denial made it worse for him; it was a terrible burden for him to be the one to tell me in the first place, and now for him to have to convince me? The agony was written all over his face. That's what finally sold it to me, I think.
I ran to the bathroom to vomit, and I can't (wont) even describe the rest of that merry meet up. I confronted Daniel that night, had the decency to separate him from his friends before I demanded he confirm the story. I think that was when it happened. When I stared him in the eyes after spilling what Daniel and said, and was waiting for the denial, the justification, the excuse, and all he said was "I'm sorry."
That's the moment that I experienced real heartbreak for the first and only time in my life. It was over five years ago, and I don't think I've ever properly loved a guy since. I know a lot of people have experienced far worse in their lives, deaths of loved ones, destroyed marriages, ruined dreams. I don't think my pain was worse. But at the time, to that 19 year old naive little girl that still believed in soulmates, it was earth-shattering.
**TL;DR: My good friend took me aside one day to tell me that his ex girlfriend had slept with my boyfriend in some sort of twisted revenge fuck, and when my little brother caught them going at it, he joined in and then helped keep the secret. Might not be the worst thing that's ever happened to anybody, but it sure messed me up.**
| Joe had been talking about meeting up with me for days, just the two of us, he had something so important to tell me. I was nervous. I'd known Joe for some time now; he was friend I'd met through my boyfriend at the time, Daniel. We were all pretty tight but Joe and I never hung out alone. What could he have to tell me? Maybe he was in love with me or something? No, that was crazy. Couldn't be like that, right?
And my boyfriend had been acting weird, too, but he wouldn't really say anything. God this was weird. Why was everybody acting so weird? Who had died ???
My best friend, she knew what was up. Joe had confided in her. She was acting the weirdest of everybody, but she wouldn't tell me a thing. This was the worst.
But eventually, the day finally came. I met up with Joe at this little coffeeshop and he seemed even more nervous than I was. For a second I returned to the whole 'maybe he's in love with me' theory. But I let him talk. And talk he did. The words started go come, careful at first, tentative, and then slowly more descriptive, more urgent. I listened in almost pure silence, my heart starting to tighten even though he hadn't yet said anything significant. His story was a freight train now, out of control, picking up speed and I could tell by the frantic look in his eyes that I'd been tied to the tracks the whole time. But he couldn't cut me loose, nobody could.
When the words finally came out--the words that mattered--I didn't feel the impact. Joe must've misunderstood, he had the story wrong. Daniel would never have done that to me. We'd been together over a year, we were the perfect--albeit completely mad and dysfunctional--couple. We were desperately in love. We were Mickey and Mallory, we were Clarence and Alabama--we were partners in crime and if anything was going to come between us, it was going to be our own craziness...not Joe's ex-girlfriend . And I especially wasn't going to believe that my brother had caught them going at it and...joined in. I told Daniel as much. I think my denial made it worse for him; it was a terrible burden for him to be the one to tell me in the first place, and now for him to have to convince me? The agony was written all over his face. That's what finally sold it to me, I think.
I ran to the bathroom to vomit, and I can't (wont) even describe the rest of that merry meet up. I confronted Daniel that night, had the decency to separate him from his friends before I demanded he confirm the story. I think that was when it happened. When I stared him in the eyes after spilling what Daniel and said, and was waiting for the denial, the justification, the excuse, and all he said was "I'm sorry."
That's the moment that I experienced real heartbreak for the first and only time in my life. It was over five years ago, and I don't think I've ever properly loved a guy since. I know a lot of people have experienced far worse in their lives, deaths of loved ones, destroyed marriages, ruined dreams. I don't think my pain was worse. But at the time, to that 19 year old naive little girl that still believed in soulmates, it was earth-shattering.
TL;DR: My good friend took me aside one day to tell me that his ex girlfriend had slept with my boyfriend in some sort of twisted revenge fuck, and when my little brother caught them going at it, he joined in and then helped keep the secret. Might not be the worst thing that's ever happened to anybody, but it sure messed me up.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqf6bl | Joe had been talking about meeting up with me for days, just the two of us, he had something so important to tell me. I was nervous. I'd known Joe for some time now; he was friend I'd met through my boyfriend at the time, Daniel. We were all pretty tight but Joe and I never hung out alone. What could he have to tell me? Maybe he was in love with me or something? No, that was crazy. Couldn't be like that, right?
And my boyfriend had been acting weird, too, but he wouldn't really say anything. God this was weird. Why was everybody acting so weird? Who had died ???
My best friend, she knew what was up. Joe had confided in her. She was acting the weirdest of everybody, but she wouldn't tell me a thing. This was the worst.
But eventually, the day finally came. I met up with Joe at this little coffeeshop and he seemed even more nervous than I was. For a second I returned to the whole 'maybe he's in love with me' theory. But I let him talk. And talk he did. The words started go come, careful at first, tentative, and then slowly more descriptive, more urgent. I listened in almost pure silence, my heart starting to tighten even though he hadn't yet said anything significant. His story was a freight train now, out of control, picking up speed and I could tell by the frantic look in his eyes that I'd been tied to the tracks the whole time. But he couldn't cut me loose, nobody could.
When the words finally came out--the words that mattered--I didn't feel the impact. Joe must've misunderstood, he had the story wrong. Daniel would never have done that to me. We'd been together over a year, we were the perfect--albeit completely mad and dysfunctional--couple. We were desperately in love. We were Mickey and Mallory, we were Clarence and Alabama--we were partners in crime and if anything was going to come between us, it was going to be our own craziness...not Joe's ex-girlfriend . And I especially wasn't going to believe that my brother had caught them going at it and...joined in. I told Daniel as much. I think my denial made it worse for him; it was a terrible burden for him to be the one to tell me in the first place, and now for him to have to convince me? The agony was written all over his face. That's what finally sold it to me, I think.
I ran to the bathroom to vomit, and I can't (wont) even describe the rest of that merry meet up. I confronted Daniel that night, had the decency to separate him from his friends before I demanded he confirm the story. I think that was when it happened. When I stared him in the eyes after spilling what Daniel and said, and was waiting for the denial, the justification, the excuse, and all he said was "I'm sorry."
That's the moment that I experienced real heartbreak for the first and only time in my life. It was over five years ago, and I don't think I've ever properly loved a guy since. I know a lot of people have experienced far worse in their lives, deaths of loved ones, destroyed marriages, ruined dreams. I don't think my pain was worse. But at the time, to that 19 year old naive little girl that still believed in soulmates, it was earth-shattering. | My good friend took me aside one day to tell me that his ex girlfriend had slept with my boyfriend in some sort of twisted revenge fuck, and when my little brother caught them going at it, he joined in and then helped keep the secret. Might not be the worst thing that's ever happened to anybody, but it sure messed me up. |
TransistorOrgy | Being told I (male) had lymphoma at the age of 27. I left my apartment that morning to get the biopsy results as soon as possible, and I remember thinking to myself "this may be the last time I leave this apartment without cancer"
I sit in the waiting room for 5 minutes, which feels like 3 hours. I keep running over all the possibilities in my head, and shockingly, I start to accept the reality that this can't be anything else *except* cancer...
I go in the room, the doctor (internal surgeon) comes in that did my biopsy, and says in just a-matter-of-factly way, "unfortunately, the biopsy came back positive for lymphoma"
It's seriously like one of those cartoon break aways, where all the walls in the room fall down, and everything turns to black. When I finally snap out of it, he's handing me a paper that has a list of oncology centers, and tells me to go to the front desk and they'll give me more information.
Then he gets up and leaves, and that was that. I zombie-walk to the front desk, doing *everything* in my power not to lose it right there. She gives me more information on who to call, and I drag my carcass out of the building.
While walking to my car, I finally let go and just start crying uncontrollably. How am I going to tell my girlfriend? How am I going to tell my family? How am I going to tell my friends?
My life went into a period of darkness from that day until about 18 months later. In that time, I would lose my body (chemo), I would lose my girlfriend (she cheated and left), and I would lose my mind (post-chemo issues that do a wicked thing to the mind).
There are few days in my life I remember the exact day, hour, minute, smell, color -- of every detail of it. That was one of them.
TL;DR: cancer | Being told I (male) had lymphoma at the age of 27. I left my apartment that morning to get the biopsy results as soon as possible, and I remember thinking to myself "this may be the last time I leave this apartment without cancer"
I sit in the waiting room for 5 minutes, which feels like 3 hours. I keep running over all the possibilities in my head, and shockingly, I start to accept the reality that this can't be anything else except cancer...
I go in the room, the doctor (internal surgeon) comes in that did my biopsy, and says in just a-matter-of-factly way, "unfortunately, the biopsy came back positive for lymphoma"
It's seriously like one of those cartoon break aways, where all the walls in the room fall down, and everything turns to black. When I finally snap out of it, he's handing me a paper that has a list of oncology centers, and tells me to go to the front desk and they'll give me more information.
Then he gets up and leaves, and that was that. I zombie-walk to the front desk, doing everything in my power not to lose it right there. She gives me more information on who to call, and I drag my carcass out of the building.
While walking to my car, I finally let go and just start crying uncontrollably. How am I going to tell my girlfriend? How am I going to tell my family? How am I going to tell my friends?
My life went into a period of darkness from that day until about 18 months later. In that time, I would lose my body (chemo), I would lose my girlfriend (she cheated and left), and I would lose my mind (post-chemo issues that do a wicked thing to the mind).
There are few days in my life I remember the exact day, hour, minute, smell, color -- of every detail of it. That was one of them.
TL;DR: cancer
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqff7e | Being told I (male) had lymphoma at the age of 27. I left my apartment that morning to get the biopsy results as soon as possible, and I remember thinking to myself "this may be the last time I leave this apartment without cancer"
I sit in the waiting room for 5 minutes, which feels like 3 hours. I keep running over all the possibilities in my head, and shockingly, I start to accept the reality that this can't be anything else except cancer...
I go in the room, the doctor (internal surgeon) comes in that did my biopsy, and says in just a-matter-of-factly way, "unfortunately, the biopsy came back positive for lymphoma"
It's seriously like one of those cartoon break aways, where all the walls in the room fall down, and everything turns to black. When I finally snap out of it, he's handing me a paper that has a list of oncology centers, and tells me to go to the front desk and they'll give me more information.
Then he gets up and leaves, and that was that. I zombie-walk to the front desk, doing everything in my power not to lose it right there. She gives me more information on who to call, and I drag my carcass out of the building.
While walking to my car, I finally let go and just start crying uncontrollably. How am I going to tell my girlfriend? How am I going to tell my family? How am I going to tell my friends?
My life went into a period of darkness from that day until about 18 months later. In that time, I would lose my body (chemo), I would lose my girlfriend (she cheated and left), and I would lose my mind (post-chemo issues that do a wicked thing to the mind).
There are few days in my life I remember the exact day, hour, minute, smell, color -- of every detail of it. That was one of them. | cancer |
blattacker | Alright, I really didn't want to post this because I feel like it's only inviting life to be like "Hah, you think that's bad? You ain't seen nothing yet." But here goes:
This past summer, one of my best friends died in a car accident. He and his girlfriend were in the car together, and he got t-boned. To this day, his girlfriend doesn't know that he was getting ready to propose to her. I'm pretty sure he had already bought the ring (though I'm not positive. I think I remember someone telling me he did). That was bad enough in and of itself, but it goes even deeper for me. Shortly after his passing, all of our friends were hanging out, and just telling stories about him, coping as best as we knew how. I went to one of these get-togethers, but couldn't go to any more for one simple reason: Everybody else remembered him as this goofy dude, always a bit too loud, a bit too raunchy, but always in the best way. He was just fun to be around. I knew this version of him too, but the part that always stuck with me is how he was the guy who sat with me and talked me out of suicide. I had fallen in love with my other best friend, and we had a short relationship, but she ended it, and not exactly on good terms (we've made up since, and things are a lot better, but they weren't at the time). At the time, I was completely in love with her (Ah, who am I kidding, I still am) and she was also my closest friend, so I was pretty hellbent on ending it all, I just didn't know how. One of the last times I ever saw him in person, he sat there with me and talked for hours about all the things I had going for me, and just stupid stuff like that, and it really helped, and from that point on, he was my best friend and my idol, even though I rarely ever saw him. So while everyone else was telling fun stories, and making jokes, I was sitting there by myself with whatever alcohol was around just thinking "The guy who stopped me from killing myself isn't here anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
A couple months after he passed, a friend and I were just looking through our Facebook messages from him before his passing. One of the last things he ever said to me on Facebook was "It's okay, I'll sleep when I'm dead." It was simultaneously darkly hilarious, and also the worst feeling I've ever had in my life.
tl;dr, the guy who literally saved my life died weeks after saying he'll sleep when he's dead, and shortly before proposing to his girlfriend. | Alright, I really didn't want to post this because I feel like it's only inviting life to be like "Hah, you think that's bad? You ain't seen nothing yet." But here goes:
This past summer, one of my best friends died in a car accident. He and his girlfriend were in the car together, and he got t-boned. To this day, his girlfriend doesn't know that he was getting ready to propose to her. I'm pretty sure he had already bought the ring (though I'm not positive. I think I remember someone telling me he did). That was bad enough in and of itself, but it goes even deeper for me. Shortly after his passing, all of our friends were hanging out, and just telling stories about him, coping as best as we knew how. I went to one of these get-togethers, but couldn't go to any more for one simple reason: Everybody else remembered him as this goofy dude, always a bit too loud, a bit too raunchy, but always in the best way. He was just fun to be around. I knew this version of him too, but the part that always stuck with me is how he was the guy who sat with me and talked me out of suicide. I had fallen in love with my other best friend, and we had a short relationship, but she ended it, and not exactly on good terms (we've made up since, and things are a lot better, but they weren't at the time). At the time, I was completely in love with her (Ah, who am I kidding, I still am) and she was also my closest friend, so I was pretty hellbent on ending it all, I just didn't know how. One of the last times I ever saw him in person, he sat there with me and talked for hours about all the things I had going for me, and just stupid stuff like that, and it really helped, and from that point on, he was my best friend and my idol, even though I rarely ever saw him. So while everyone else was telling fun stories, and making jokes, I was sitting there by myself with whatever alcohol was around just thinking "The guy who stopped me from killing myself isn't here anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
A couple months after he passed, a friend and I were just looking through our Facebook messages from him before his passing. One of the last things he ever said to me on Facebook was "It's okay, I'll sleep when I'm dead." It was simultaneously darkly hilarious, and also the worst feeling I've ever had in my life.
tl;dr, the guy who literally saved my life died weeks after saying he'll sleep when he's dead, and shortly before proposing to his girlfriend.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqfn7c | Alright, I really didn't want to post this because I feel like it's only inviting life to be like "Hah, you think that's bad? You ain't seen nothing yet." But here goes:
This past summer, one of my best friends died in a car accident. He and his girlfriend were in the car together, and he got t-boned. To this day, his girlfriend doesn't know that he was getting ready to propose to her. I'm pretty sure he had already bought the ring (though I'm not positive. I think I remember someone telling me he did). That was bad enough in and of itself, but it goes even deeper for me. Shortly after his passing, all of our friends were hanging out, and just telling stories about him, coping as best as we knew how. I went to one of these get-togethers, but couldn't go to any more for one simple reason: Everybody else remembered him as this goofy dude, always a bit too loud, a bit too raunchy, but always in the best way. He was just fun to be around. I knew this version of him too, but the part that always stuck with me is how he was the guy who sat with me and talked me out of suicide. I had fallen in love with my other best friend, and we had a short relationship, but she ended it, and not exactly on good terms (we've made up since, and things are a lot better, but they weren't at the time). At the time, I was completely in love with her (Ah, who am I kidding, I still am) and she was also my closest friend, so I was pretty hellbent on ending it all, I just didn't know how. One of the last times I ever saw him in person, he sat there with me and talked for hours about all the things I had going for me, and just stupid stuff like that, and it really helped, and from that point on, he was my best friend and my idol, even though I rarely ever saw him. So while everyone else was telling fun stories, and making jokes, I was sitting there by myself with whatever alcohol was around just thinking "The guy who stopped me from killing myself isn't here anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
A couple months after he passed, a friend and I were just looking through our Facebook messages from him before his passing. One of the last things he ever said to me on Facebook was "It's okay, I'll sleep when I'm dead." It was simultaneously darkly hilarious, and also the worst feeling I've ever had in my life. | the guy who literally saved my life died weeks after saying he'll sleep when he's dead, and shortly before proposing to his girlfriend. |
Marfell | I guess I am to late for the party, however I will share my story. It is not a moment, but rather several moments from time to time.
I had a friend back in the days, we knew each other since we were about 6-7 years old and spent quite some time with him each week. Anyways he had an older sister, a few years older than us. Quite a smart girl, so was my friend as well. Anyways the father was quite hardworking, slightly overwheight and he had a wife who had battle cancer since long before my time.
Anyways I tended to visit him, often we played Lord of the Rings on our Gameboy Advanced with a link between our gameboys. From time to time we even spent some of our money on a bag of some sort of lemon candy. We tended to eat it, filling the space between our two links with the wrapper papper between us and the gameboy advanced.
Anyways one day at class, he was not present. Had not been for the whole day and I thought nothing off it to be honest, however I can recall my teacher getting a call, her plump face becoming pale, her full lips becoming a long thin line. She excused herself from the class for a moment and came in half an hour later, her eyes red and sore, seeing as she had cried some. Later I learned that she had been quite a good frind of my friends mother. Anyways she gathered the class and we sat there, expecting some good news, yet we was presented with the news that my friends mother had passed, finally losing the fight toward the cancer in the end.
When I came home, I later heard from my mother who had spoked with my friends father, telling me that before she passed my friends mother said something along the lines of. "I hope that Marfell and my son will play more together in the future. It reassures me that he is left with a friend like that."
Over the next years we slowly started to glide away, almost only meeting for our football pratice, that is father trained. I recall seeing the man become grayer in his hair from his jet black one, his face more exhausted as he had to work longer and longer hours.
When it came to junior high, I can recall him starting to cheat more on his tests, yet he never got caught. Which is a shame, he was quite a smart kid...yet never bothered doing anything about all of his abilities, rather throwing them away. He ended up befriending a bad bunch, who I never really cared for...the reason why I never approached my former friend. The boy started smoking weed.
We went to the same highschool, and I can recall him starting to deal in drugs now. From weed to heavier things. For three years he sold, and tended to get caught by his father frequently, promising that he would quit...he never did. Luckily enough he was never caught selling the heavier stuff, yet he became stupid as any 17-18 year old kid would when he suddenly got 50k USD over the cource of a few months.
During this time, I focused on school yet I found a new friend who trained very much. Yet he hate drugs on any sorts, he shared this view as I have seen what it had done with my former friend. I tolerate weed and the likes, yet I will not approve of it. Anyways it grew harder and harder for me to see my former friend waste away his potential on dealing drugs, heck it even came to the point where he was thiking of buying a sailboat and smuggeling Coke between Norway and Denmark. This was the news that broke me down, I recalled the words of his mother echoing in my head most nights before I cried myself to sleep for the next two months.
This friend of mine who trained alot and me eventually decided that we would beat up my former friend, and we did. We gave him a good beating until he bled and laid down on the ground, telling him to stop with the drugs as we knew how it affected his father. Three times we had to return to beat him up, as he did not get it in. It was not until the last time when I mentioned that his mother would be ashamed, that he broke down in tears before us... crying his eyes out. I still remember it to this day, every day to be honest. It tend to bring me to tears, seeing as I had to throw punches against my former friend...in an attempt to save him from the drugs...What person does this? Throwing a punch against someone, telling themself that they do it for the right reasons? What flawed person am I?
Today he does better, plays his instrument quite a bit an is very good at it. Yet he have stopped with drugs now and attempted to bond the relationship with his father, it goes quite well from what I have heard. He now works in a kindergarten, apperently being very good with children while he hold some yoga courses in Oslo from time to time.
TLDR; I had a former childhood friend who turned to drugs while his mothers last words was a request for me to spend more time with him, I did not and our friendship slowly faded away. He turned to drugs, used it, sold it, started thinking about expanding. I and another friend beat him up in attempt to make him stop, it did not work. We did it a few more times and the phrase "Your mother would be ashamed of you, if she could see you now." brought him to tears, makeing him realize what was going on, that he had fucked up so early in his life. Things goes better for him now. To this day I still think about it, it tears me down until I am in tears and start question what sort of bad person I am and what right I had to throw punches at someone.
| I guess I am to late for the party, however I will share my story. It is not a moment, but rather several moments from time to time.
I had a friend back in the days, we knew each other since we were about 6-7 years old and spent quite some time with him each week. Anyways he had an older sister, a few years older than us. Quite a smart girl, so was my friend as well. Anyways the father was quite hardworking, slightly overwheight and he had a wife who had battle cancer since long before my time.
Anyways I tended to visit him, often we played Lord of the Rings on our Gameboy Advanced with a link between our gameboys. From time to time we even spent some of our money on a bag of some sort of lemon candy. We tended to eat it, filling the space between our two links with the wrapper papper between us and the gameboy advanced.
Anyways one day at class, he was not present. Had not been for the whole day and I thought nothing off it to be honest, however I can recall my teacher getting a call, her plump face becoming pale, her full lips becoming a long thin line. She excused herself from the class for a moment and came in half an hour later, her eyes red and sore, seeing as she had cried some. Later I learned that she had been quite a good frind of my friends mother. Anyways she gathered the class and we sat there, expecting some good news, yet we was presented with the news that my friends mother had passed, finally losing the fight toward the cancer in the end.
When I came home, I later heard from my mother who had spoked with my friends father, telling me that before she passed my friends mother said something along the lines of. "I hope that Marfell and my son will play more together in the future. It reassures me that he is left with a friend like that."
Over the next years we slowly started to glide away, almost only meeting for our football pratice, that is father trained. I recall seeing the man become grayer in his hair from his jet black one, his face more exhausted as he had to work longer and longer hours.
When it came to junior high, I can recall him starting to cheat more on his tests, yet he never got caught. Which is a shame, he was quite a smart kid...yet never bothered doing anything about all of his abilities, rather throwing them away. He ended up befriending a bad bunch, who I never really cared for...the reason why I never approached my former friend. The boy started smoking weed.
We went to the same highschool, and I can recall him starting to deal in drugs now. From weed to heavier things. For three years he sold, and tended to get caught by his father frequently, promising that he would quit...he never did. Luckily enough he was never caught selling the heavier stuff, yet he became stupid as any 17-18 year old kid would when he suddenly got 50k USD over the cource of a few months.
During this time, I focused on school yet I found a new friend who trained very much. Yet he hate drugs on any sorts, he shared this view as I have seen what it had done with my former friend. I tolerate weed and the likes, yet I will not approve of it. Anyways it grew harder and harder for me to see my former friend waste away his potential on dealing drugs, heck it even came to the point where he was thiking of buying a sailboat and smuggeling Coke between Norway and Denmark. This was the news that broke me down, I recalled the words of his mother echoing in my head most nights before I cried myself to sleep for the next two months.
This friend of mine who trained alot and me eventually decided that we would beat up my former friend, and we did. We gave him a good beating until he bled and laid down on the ground, telling him to stop with the drugs as we knew how it affected his father. Three times we had to return to beat him up, as he did not get it in. It was not until the last time when I mentioned that his mother would be ashamed, that he broke down in tears before us... crying his eyes out. I still remember it to this day, every day to be honest. It tend to bring me to tears, seeing as I had to throw punches against my former friend...in an attempt to save him from the drugs...What person does this? Throwing a punch against someone, telling themself that they do it for the right reasons? What flawed person am I?
Today he does better, plays his instrument quite a bit an is very good at it. Yet he have stopped with drugs now and attempted to bond the relationship with his father, it goes quite well from what I have heard. He now works in a kindergarten, apperently being very good with children while he hold some yoga courses in Oslo from time to time.
TLDR; I had a former childhood friend who turned to drugs while his mothers last words was a request for me to spend more time with him, I did not and our friendship slowly faded away. He turned to drugs, used it, sold it, started thinking about expanding. I and another friend beat him up in attempt to make him stop, it did not work. We did it a few more times and the phrase "Your mother would be ashamed of you, if she could see you now." brought him to tears, makeing him realize what was going on, that he had fucked up so early in his life. Things goes better for him now. To this day I still think about it, it tears me down until I am in tears and start question what sort of bad person I am and what right I had to throw punches at someone.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqfoo3 | I guess I am to late for the party, however I will share my story. It is not a moment, but rather several moments from time to time.
I had a friend back in the days, we knew each other since we were about 6-7 years old and spent quite some time with him each week. Anyways he had an older sister, a few years older than us. Quite a smart girl, so was my friend as well. Anyways the father was quite hardworking, slightly overwheight and he had a wife who had battle cancer since long before my time.
Anyways I tended to visit him, often we played Lord of the Rings on our Gameboy Advanced with a link between our gameboys. From time to time we even spent some of our money on a bag of some sort of lemon candy. We tended to eat it, filling the space between our two links with the wrapper papper between us and the gameboy advanced.
Anyways one day at class, he was not present. Had not been for the whole day and I thought nothing off it to be honest, however I can recall my teacher getting a call, her plump face becoming pale, her full lips becoming a long thin line. She excused herself from the class for a moment and came in half an hour later, her eyes red and sore, seeing as she had cried some. Later I learned that she had been quite a good frind of my friends mother. Anyways she gathered the class and we sat there, expecting some good news, yet we was presented with the news that my friends mother had passed, finally losing the fight toward the cancer in the end.
When I came home, I later heard from my mother who had spoked with my friends father, telling me that before she passed my friends mother said something along the lines of. "I hope that Marfell and my son will play more together in the future. It reassures me that he is left with a friend like that."
Over the next years we slowly started to glide away, almost only meeting for our football pratice, that is father trained. I recall seeing the man become grayer in his hair from his jet black one, his face more exhausted as he had to work longer and longer hours.
When it came to junior high, I can recall him starting to cheat more on his tests, yet he never got caught. Which is a shame, he was quite a smart kid...yet never bothered doing anything about all of his abilities, rather throwing them away. He ended up befriending a bad bunch, who I never really cared for...the reason why I never approached my former friend. The boy started smoking weed.
We went to the same highschool, and I can recall him starting to deal in drugs now. From weed to heavier things. For three years he sold, and tended to get caught by his father frequently, promising that he would quit...he never did. Luckily enough he was never caught selling the heavier stuff, yet he became stupid as any 17-18 year old kid would when he suddenly got 50k USD over the cource of a few months.
During this time, I focused on school yet I found a new friend who trained very much. Yet he hate drugs on any sorts, he shared this view as I have seen what it had done with my former friend. I tolerate weed and the likes, yet I will not approve of it. Anyways it grew harder and harder for me to see my former friend waste away his potential on dealing drugs, heck it even came to the point where he was thiking of buying a sailboat and smuggeling Coke between Norway and Denmark. This was the news that broke me down, I recalled the words of his mother echoing in my head most nights before I cried myself to sleep for the next two months.
This friend of mine who trained alot and me eventually decided that we would beat up my former friend, and we did. We gave him a good beating until he bled and laid down on the ground, telling him to stop with the drugs as we knew how it affected his father. Three times we had to return to beat him up, as he did not get it in. It was not until the last time when I mentioned that his mother would be ashamed, that he broke down in tears before us... crying his eyes out. I still remember it to this day, every day to be honest. It tend to bring me to tears, seeing as I had to throw punches against my former friend...in an attempt to save him from the drugs...What person does this? Throwing a punch against someone, telling themself that they do it for the right reasons? What flawed person am I?
Today he does better, plays his instrument quite a bit an is very good at it. Yet he have stopped with drugs now and attempted to bond the relationship with his father, it goes quite well from what I have heard. He now works in a kindergarten, apperently being very good with children while he hold some yoga courses in Oslo from time to time. | I had a former childhood friend who turned to drugs while his mothers last words was a request for me to spend more time with him, I did not and our friendship slowly faded away. He turned to drugs, used it, sold it, started thinking about expanding. I and another friend beat him up in attempt to make him stop, it did not work. We did it a few more times and the phrase "Your mother would be ashamed of you, if she could see you now." brought him to tears, makeing him realize what was going on, that he had fucked up so early in his life. Things goes better for him now. To this day I still think about it, it tears me down until I am in tears and start question what sort of bad person I am and what right I had to throw punches at someone. |
DoctorDax | 2 years ago the girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with broke my heart out of nowhere. I had given up multiple college scholarships, stayed in my hometown and settled on a degree I didn't care for to be with her. Six months prior to the break up she took me on an Alaskan cruise with her and her parents to show me that I truly was a part of the family. 2 months before the breakup she bought me a car that she said would be "the perfect family car for our perfect future family." One month before she ended things I had spent hours on top of ours with my favorite jeweler picking out the exact ring she would fall in love with. Instead of spending the perfect valentines day with my beautiful future fiancé, she broke up with me two days prior with no warning. Now I know people say after a breakup it's easy to see the bad in everything but my life truly began to fall apart. During the next few months two seperate fires burned my best friends home and another friends business to the ground, Two of my best friends lost an extremely close family member, I got stuck with the payments on the new car and then to top it off my ex decided to get engaged to another man. 2 years later I've moved to another town, changed degrees, aquired a new job and tried my best to do what I can to keep on keeping on. But without my other half I still feel lost.
TLDR: Got my heart broken and my life went downhill.
P.S. Just keep swimming. | 2 years ago the girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with broke my heart out of nowhere. I had given up multiple college scholarships, stayed in my hometown and settled on a degree I didn't care for to be with her. Six months prior to the break up she took me on an Alaskan cruise with her and her parents to show me that I truly was a part of the family. 2 months before the breakup she bought me a car that she said would be "the perfect family car for our perfect future family." One month before she ended things I had spent hours on top of ours with my favorite jeweler picking out the exact ring she would fall in love with. Instead of spending the perfect valentines day with my beautiful future fiancé, she broke up with me two days prior with no warning. Now I know people say after a breakup it's easy to see the bad in everything but my life truly began to fall apart. During the next few months two seperate fires burned my best friends home and another friends business to the ground, Two of my best friends lost an extremely close family member, I got stuck with the payments on the new car and then to top it off my ex decided to get engaged to another man. 2 years later I've moved to another town, changed degrees, aquired a new job and tried my best to do what I can to keep on keeping on. But without my other half I still feel lost.
TLDR: Got my heart broken and my life went downhill.
P.S. Just keep swimming.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqfqgz | 2 years ago the girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with broke my heart out of nowhere. I had given up multiple college scholarships, stayed in my hometown and settled on a degree I didn't care for to be with her. Six months prior to the break up she took me on an Alaskan cruise with her and her parents to show me that I truly was a part of the family. 2 months before the breakup she bought me a car that she said would be "the perfect family car for our perfect future family." One month before she ended things I had spent hours on top of ours with my favorite jeweler picking out the exact ring she would fall in love with. Instead of spending the perfect valentines day with my beautiful future fiancé, she broke up with me two days prior with no warning. Now I know people say after a breakup it's easy to see the bad in everything but my life truly began to fall apart. During the next few months two seperate fires burned my best friends home and another friends business to the ground, Two of my best friends lost an extremely close family member, I got stuck with the payments on the new car and then to top it off my ex decided to get engaged to another man. 2 years later I've moved to another town, changed degrees, aquired a new job and tried my best to do what I can to keep on keeping on. But without my other half I still feel lost. | Got my heart broken and my life went downhill.
P.S. Just keep swimming. |
Crumpetdust | The unfairness of the universe that means whilst I can be relieved I've not experienced 90% of these stories, I also have my own pain and emotional destruction wrought from not finding someone special to share a life with....yet.
TL:DR Never finding, or losing people to death or heartache of one kind or another.
Ps Internet hugs for Everyone. | The unfairness of the universe that means whilst I can be relieved I've not experienced 90% of these stories, I also have my own pain and emotional destruction wrought from not finding someone special to share a life with....yet.
TL:DR Never finding, or losing people to death or heartache of one kind or another.
Ps Internet hugs for Everyone.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqftu5 | The unfairness of the universe that means whilst I can be relieved I've not experienced 90% of these stories, I also have my own pain and emotional destruction wrought from not finding someone special to share a life with....yet. | Never finding, or losing people to death or heartache of one kind or another.
Ps Internet hugs for Everyone. |
elleellecoolj | When my best friend, lets call her Lucy, since first grade called me laughing (seriously) to tell me she was now dating my ex-boyfriend, Ricky (we had been broken up for a month or two but had been going on dates again and talking about rebuilding our relationship and giving it another try - all of which Lucy was aware of because, well, fuck, she was my best friend). I was blindsided, especially because Lucy already had a boyfriend of two years and they lived together. I started to ask if we could still try to be friends and work through this because her friendship was so much more important than any guy would ever be, when I heard her laughing. My mind went blank and I felt my body go cold. I told her never to contact me again and hung up. I sat on my floor and realized the years we spent together, everything we had been through together, meant nothing to her. I had never felt betrayal before and I felt like a joke by the one person who I thought would always have my back. They are now married and have a child together.
The kicker was my other best friend, Ethel was dating (and is now married to) Ricky's best friend and told me the next day that she was no longer my friend because it would be too "complicated" to maintain both friendships. I have never felt so worthless or unwanted.
This was eleven years ago and I still get sick to my stomach when I think of it or when I go to my hometown (where they all still live).
Tl;dr I lost my two best friends in one phone call and realized I had never been as important to them as they were to me. | When my best friend, lets call her Lucy, since first grade called me laughing (seriously) to tell me she was now dating my ex-boyfriend, Ricky (we had been broken up for a month or two but had been going on dates again and talking about rebuilding our relationship and giving it another try - all of which Lucy was aware of because, well, fuck, she was my best friend). I was blindsided, especially because Lucy already had a boyfriend of two years and they lived together. I started to ask if we could still try to be friends and work through this because her friendship was so much more important than any guy would ever be, when I heard her laughing. My mind went blank and I felt my body go cold. I told her never to contact me again and hung up. I sat on my floor and realized the years we spent together, everything we had been through together, meant nothing to her. I had never felt betrayal before and I felt like a joke by the one person who I thought would always have my back. They are now married and have a child together.
The kicker was my other best friend, Ethel was dating (and is now married to) Ricky's best friend and told me the next day that she was no longer my friend because it would be too "complicated" to maintain both friendships. I have never felt so worthless or unwanted.
This was eleven years ago and I still get sick to my stomach when I think of it or when I go to my hometown (where they all still live).
Tl;dr I lost my two best friends in one phone call and realized I had never been as important to them as they were to me.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqfv4x | When my best friend, lets call her Lucy, since first grade called me laughing (seriously) to tell me she was now dating my ex-boyfriend, Ricky (we had been broken up for a month or two but had been going on dates again and talking about rebuilding our relationship and giving it another try - all of which Lucy was aware of because, well, fuck, she was my best friend). I was blindsided, especially because Lucy already had a boyfriend of two years and they lived together. I started to ask if we could still try to be friends and work through this because her friendship was so much more important than any guy would ever be, when I heard her laughing. My mind went blank and I felt my body go cold. I told her never to contact me again and hung up. I sat on my floor and realized the years we spent together, everything we had been through together, meant nothing to her. I had never felt betrayal before and I felt like a joke by the one person who I thought would always have my back. They are now married and have a child together.
The kicker was my other best friend, Ethel was dating (and is now married to) Ricky's best friend and told me the next day that she was no longer my friend because it would be too "complicated" to maintain both friendships. I have never felt so worthless or unwanted.
This was eleven years ago and I still get sick to my stomach when I think of it or when I go to my hometown (where they all still live). | I lost my two best friends in one phone call and realized I had never been as important to them as they were to me. |
sagemaster | This is different than most replies, but it's true. I was in HS; a Junior. I saw the video of the championship hockey game I was in goal for. I didn't believe it was me. The guy on that video KNEW what he was doing and was wearing my pads, but it wasn't me. He was confident, flexible (i didn't know I could do a split), athletic, and super out of his mind aggressive. I didn't remember doing most of the things aside from the tripping penalty I got and poke check on a 2 on 0. My entire life I was the smart, un-athletic outsider, but that guy on the video was a natural born leader who screamed, "hit the mother fucker" at the top of his lungs the entire game and wailed on himself with his stick to psych himself up. When I told my dad that I had no idea what I was doing out there I just made it up as I went along and it seemed like a good idea at the time. He told me that is what it's like being a grown up and a parent. I was floored. I thought parents and grown ups knew what they were doing, and I was still the nerd that got thrown in a trashcan in gradeschool.
TLDR; I stopped selling myself short while being a combination asian dad and drill sargeant on myself. | This is different than most replies, but it's true. I was in HS; a Junior. I saw the video of the championship hockey game I was in goal for. I didn't believe it was me. The guy on that video KNEW what he was doing and was wearing my pads, but it wasn't me. He was confident, flexible (i didn't know I could do a split), athletic, and super out of his mind aggressive. I didn't remember doing most of the things aside from the tripping penalty I got and poke check on a 2 on 0. My entire life I was the smart, un-athletic outsider, but that guy on the video was a natural born leader who screamed, "hit the mother fucker" at the top of his lungs the entire game and wailed on himself with his stick to psych himself up. When I told my dad that I had no idea what I was doing out there I just made it up as I went along and it seemed like a good idea at the time. He told me that is what it's like being a grown up and a parent. I was floored. I thought parents and grown ups knew what they were doing, and I was still the nerd that got thrown in a trashcan in gradeschool.
TLDR; I stopped selling myself short while being a combination asian dad and drill sargeant on myself.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqfvb3 | This is different than most replies, but it's true. I was in HS; a Junior. I saw the video of the championship hockey game I was in goal for. I didn't believe it was me. The guy on that video KNEW what he was doing and was wearing my pads, but it wasn't me. He was confident, flexible (i didn't know I could do a split), athletic, and super out of his mind aggressive. I didn't remember doing most of the things aside from the tripping penalty I got and poke check on a 2 on 0. My entire life I was the smart, un-athletic outsider, but that guy on the video was a natural born leader who screamed, "hit the mother fucker" at the top of his lungs the entire game and wailed on himself with his stick to psych himself up. When I told my dad that I had no idea what I was doing out there I just made it up as I went along and it seemed like a good idea at the time. He told me that is what it's like being a grown up and a parent. I was floored. I thought parents and grown ups knew what they were doing, and I was still the nerd that got thrown in a trashcan in gradeschool. | I stopped selling myself short while being a combination asian dad and drill sargeant on myself. |
DarkBijou | Had a boyfriend for five years, I lost my virginity to him at the ripe age of 16 and fell madly in love. I was a christain girl who went to a private christain school all my life. I was sheltered and never fully understood sex and drugs since I've never experienced any of it. He was the total opposite of my upbringing, I learned he was a recovering drug addict of heroin and was in and out of rehab. He was also an atheist and had a lot of experience in the world more than my sheltered life had, but I still wanted to date him and be his girlfriend. Years went by and I helped him keep his drug use to a minimum. He was surprisingly way more intelligent than most and I saw the beauty and passion in him. I knew he was a truely amazing person despite the drug addiction. Years pass by and our relationship was going great, even thought about getting engaged and moving away together to new york.
Fast foward to me having a best friend, I introduced her to my bf and he really took a liking to her. (Which I was happy about because he rarely likes a lot of people.) His friends were truly different, the couples would have threesomes with the female bringing in pne of her close female friends and the relationship grew stronger becausw of the experience and bond it would create. Boyfriebd and I decided to try it out with my good chick friend who was naturally prude (was 20 and only had sex with two men in her life.) And I knew she really cared about me and I trusted her. So we all decided to have a threesome as a result of me wanting to give my bf a thank you for taking care of me and loving me for so long. After a few threesomes sprinkled between a few weeks things felt strange about the two. Found out thriugh looking through my bf's phone that theyve been having an affair behind my back for weeks. The couple of phrases that really destroyed me about my bf was "I cant wait to finally call you mine." "I cant wait to introduce you to my family as my girl." My bf and I were living together for two years. When I found out and confronted him about their affair he told me I had a week to find a place to live. Two days later he goes to my best friend's house and has sex with her knowing I knew what was going on. He slept in her bed at her house that night while I slept alone on his bed and cried. I decided to move out of his house that night and move in with a friend until I got back on my feet and found an apartment with roomates. They made their relationship official the day after I moved out.
Tldr: had boyfriend for five years, thinking of getting engaged. Had threesome with best chick friend, they grew feelings and had an affair behind my back and forced me to move out when I found out to be with her.
Best friend never said sorry and feels no remorse. They act like they did nothing wrong. I still have nightmares about it a year later. Trust in people seems so difficult now. | Had a boyfriend for five years, I lost my virginity to him at the ripe age of 16 and fell madly in love. I was a christain girl who went to a private christain school all my life. I was sheltered and never fully understood sex and drugs since I've never experienced any of it. He was the total opposite of my upbringing, I learned he was a recovering drug addict of heroin and was in and out of rehab. He was also an atheist and had a lot of experience in the world more than my sheltered life had, but I still wanted to date him and be his girlfriend. Years went by and I helped him keep his drug use to a minimum. He was surprisingly way more intelligent than most and I saw the beauty and passion in him. I knew he was a truely amazing person despite the drug addiction. Years pass by and our relationship was going great, even thought about getting engaged and moving away together to new york.
Fast foward to me having a best friend, I introduced her to my bf and he really took a liking to her. (Which I was happy about because he rarely likes a lot of people.) His friends were truly different, the couples would have threesomes with the female bringing in pne of her close female friends and the relationship grew stronger becausw of the experience and bond it would create. Boyfriebd and I decided to try it out with my good chick friend who was naturally prude (was 20 and only had sex with two men in her life.) And I knew she really cared about me and I trusted her. So we all decided to have a threesome as a result of me wanting to give my bf a thank you for taking care of me and loving me for so long. After a few threesomes sprinkled between a few weeks things felt strange about the two. Found out thriugh looking through my bf's phone that theyve been having an affair behind my back for weeks. The couple of phrases that really destroyed me about my bf was "I cant wait to finally call you mine." "I cant wait to introduce you to my family as my girl." My bf and I were living together for two years. When I found out and confronted him about their affair he told me I had a week to find a place to live. Two days later he goes to my best friend's house and has sex with her knowing I knew what was going on. He slept in her bed at her house that night while I slept alone on his bed and cried. I decided to move out of his house that night and move in with a friend until I got back on my feet and found an apartment with roomates. They made their relationship official the day after I moved out.
Tldr: had boyfriend for five years, thinking of getting engaged. Had threesome with best chick friend, they grew feelings and had an affair behind my back and forced me to move out when I found out to be with her.
Best friend never said sorry and feels no remorse. They act like they did nothing wrong. I still have nightmares about it a year later. Trust in people seems so difficult now.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqfvoo | Had a boyfriend for five years, I lost my virginity to him at the ripe age of 16 and fell madly in love. I was a christain girl who went to a private christain school all my life. I was sheltered and never fully understood sex and drugs since I've never experienced any of it. He was the total opposite of my upbringing, I learned he was a recovering drug addict of heroin and was in and out of rehab. He was also an atheist and had a lot of experience in the world more than my sheltered life had, but I still wanted to date him and be his girlfriend. Years went by and I helped him keep his drug use to a minimum. He was surprisingly way more intelligent than most and I saw the beauty and passion in him. I knew he was a truely amazing person despite the drug addiction. Years pass by and our relationship was going great, even thought about getting engaged and moving away together to new york.
Fast foward to me having a best friend, I introduced her to my bf and he really took a liking to her. (Which I was happy about because he rarely likes a lot of people.) His friends were truly different, the couples would have threesomes with the female bringing in pne of her close female friends and the relationship grew stronger becausw of the experience and bond it would create. Boyfriebd and I decided to try it out with my good chick friend who was naturally prude (was 20 and only had sex with two men in her life.) And I knew she really cared about me and I trusted her. So we all decided to have a threesome as a result of me wanting to give my bf a thank you for taking care of me and loving me for so long. After a few threesomes sprinkled between a few weeks things felt strange about the two. Found out thriugh looking through my bf's phone that theyve been having an affair behind my back for weeks. The couple of phrases that really destroyed me about my bf was "I cant wait to finally call you mine." "I cant wait to introduce you to my family as my girl." My bf and I were living together for two years. When I found out and confronted him about their affair he told me I had a week to find a place to live. Two days later he goes to my best friend's house and has sex with her knowing I knew what was going on. He slept in her bed at her house that night while I slept alone on his bed and cried. I decided to move out of his house that night and move in with a friend until I got back on my feet and found an apartment with roomates. They made their relationship official the day after I moved out. | had boyfriend for five years, thinking of getting engaged. Had threesome with best chick friend, they grew feelings and had an affair behind my back and forced me to move out when I found out to be with her.
Best friend never said sorry and feels no remorse. They act like they did nothing wrong. I still have nightmares about it a year later. Trust in people seems so difficult now. |
FunSized1112 | Warning : This is pretty long.
I was working at a place that I loved, and I had made a very dear friend there ( I usually keep business and personal separate). I got laid off two weeks before Christmas on a Wednesday, so on top of losing my source of income I had to say goodbye to him. To most people this wouldn't be a big deal but I was in an extremely toxic relationship at the time (verbal and physical abuse) and he was the only friend I had, an the ex made it very hard for me to maintain this friendship even while being co-workers. It was completely platonic, but it was nice to have someone tell me I wasn't worthless.
I tried to keep in touch with him as best I could. We talked over text for a bit that evening and the next day. Things like what was I going to do as far as employment, how I was holding up with holidays around the corner, etc. He came by with his girlfriend to hang out with me and the guy I was seeing that night, we all had fun drank a little and nothing seemed amiss. We talked that Friday afternoon early evening and then the conversation just came to a halt and that wasn't like him but I figured he was busy and shrugged it off.
Saturday afternoon comes and I still hadn't heard from him, so I sent him a text asking how his night had went and when he replied I knew something was very very wrong. It took some coaxing but he finally told me that he was arrested the night before for drinking and driving his blood alcohol was .25. He broke down about how he was going to lose his job, his car, and his house. The type of breakdown you see from a person who has never even had a speeding ticket. I tried to tell him it was a first offense, not to worry get a lawyer but no amount of reassurance was helping.
I asked him if he was okay and I'll never forget his answer until the day I die. He said "No, not yet. Call this number xx at 4pm and then ask how I'm doing. Thank you for everything." The last line sent me over the edge, I called and text him repeatedly with no avail so I finally called the number he have me, and it was his girlfriend. I told her everything and she said give me a few minutes and I'll call you back. When she called me back I heard the words I was dreading. I already knew what he had done but refused to believe it. He killed himself by jumping off a bridge, there were a few witnesses that said they tried to stop him but he was determined to do it.
Days before he committed suicide he begged me to come over to his house to talk to him, that it was important but he refused to have the conversation over the phone. Because of the fear I had of how the douchenozzle I was seeing would react, I never did go. So I will never know what he wanted to talk about and if I had gone, would he still be here? I'll never forgive myself for not going and telling my ex to piss off. Now, I have an association with Christmas that makes me sick to my stomach and I hate the holidays. It's gotten a little better with each passing year, but the pain that I experienced I cannot express. There are no words for what went and am still going through.
Anyone thinking that suicide is the answer, it ISN'T AND PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE. I CAN ASSURE THAT AT LEAST ONE PERSON OUT THERE LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU GO. If anyone has ever been through this and you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open.
TL;DR got laid off, three days later my best friend committed suicide right before Christmas. FUCK THE HOLIDAYS. | Warning : This is pretty long.
I was working at a place that I loved, and I had made a very dear friend there ( I usually keep business and personal separate). I got laid off two weeks before Christmas on a Wednesday, so on top of losing my source of income I had to say goodbye to him. To most people this wouldn't be a big deal but I was in an extremely toxic relationship at the time (verbal and physical abuse) and he was the only friend I had, an the ex made it very hard for me to maintain this friendship even while being co-workers. It was completely platonic, but it was nice to have someone tell me I wasn't worthless.
I tried to keep in touch with him as best I could. We talked over text for a bit that evening and the next day. Things like what was I going to do as far as employment, how I was holding up with holidays around the corner, etc. He came by with his girlfriend to hang out with me and the guy I was seeing that night, we all had fun drank a little and nothing seemed amiss. We talked that Friday afternoon early evening and then the conversation just came to a halt and that wasn't like him but I figured he was busy and shrugged it off.
Saturday afternoon comes and I still hadn't heard from him, so I sent him a text asking how his night had went and when he replied I knew something was very very wrong. It took some coaxing but he finally told me that he was arrested the night before for drinking and driving his blood alcohol was .25. He broke down about how he was going to lose his job, his car, and his house. The type of breakdown you see from a person who has never even had a speeding ticket. I tried to tell him it was a first offense, not to worry get a lawyer but no amount of reassurance was helping.
I asked him if he was okay and I'll never forget his answer until the day I die. He said "No, not yet. Call this number xx at 4pm and then ask how I'm doing. Thank you for everything." The last line sent me over the edge, I called and text him repeatedly with no avail so I finally called the number he have me, and it was his girlfriend. I told her everything and she said give me a few minutes and I'll call you back. When she called me back I heard the words I was dreading. I already knew what he had done but refused to believe it. He killed himself by jumping off a bridge, there were a few witnesses that said they tried to stop him but he was determined to do it.
Days before he committed suicide he begged me to come over to his house to talk to him, that it was important but he refused to have the conversation over the phone. Because of the fear I had of how the douchenozzle I was seeing would react, I never did go. So I will never know what he wanted to talk about and if I had gone, would he still be here? I'll never forgive myself for not going and telling my ex to piss off. Now, I have an association with Christmas that makes me sick to my stomach and I hate the holidays. It's gotten a little better with each passing year, but the pain that I experienced I cannot express. There are no words for what went and am still going through.
Anyone thinking that suicide is the answer, it ISN'T AND PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE. I CAN ASSURE THAT AT LEAST ONE PERSON OUT THERE LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU GO. If anyone has ever been through this and you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open.
TL;DR got laid off, three days later my best friend committed suicide right before Christmas. FUCK THE HOLIDAYS.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cdqfwe3 | Warning : This is pretty long.
I was working at a place that I loved, and I had made a very dear friend there ( I usually keep business and personal separate). I got laid off two weeks before Christmas on a Wednesday, so on top of losing my source of income I had to say goodbye to him. To most people this wouldn't be a big deal but I was in an extremely toxic relationship at the time (verbal and physical abuse) and he was the only friend I had, an the ex made it very hard for me to maintain this friendship even while being co-workers. It was completely platonic, but it was nice to have someone tell me I wasn't worthless.
I tried to keep in touch with him as best I could. We talked over text for a bit that evening and the next day. Things like what was I going to do as far as employment, how I was holding up with holidays around the corner, etc. He came by with his girlfriend to hang out with me and the guy I was seeing that night, we all had fun drank a little and nothing seemed amiss. We talked that Friday afternoon early evening and then the conversation just came to a halt and that wasn't like him but I figured he was busy and shrugged it off.
Saturday afternoon comes and I still hadn't heard from him, so I sent him a text asking how his night had went and when he replied I knew something was very very wrong. It took some coaxing but he finally told me that he was arrested the night before for drinking and driving his blood alcohol was .25. He broke down about how he was going to lose his job, his car, and his house. The type of breakdown you see from a person who has never even had a speeding ticket. I tried to tell him it was a first offense, not to worry get a lawyer but no amount of reassurance was helping.
I asked him if he was okay and I'll never forget his answer until the day I die. He said "No, not yet. Call this number xx at 4pm and then ask how I'm doing. Thank you for everything." The last line sent me over the edge, I called and text him repeatedly with no avail so I finally called the number he have me, and it was his girlfriend. I told her everything and she said give me a few minutes and I'll call you back. When she called me back I heard the words I was dreading. I already knew what he had done but refused to believe it. He killed himself by jumping off a bridge, there were a few witnesses that said they tried to stop him but he was determined to do it.
Days before he committed suicide he begged me to come over to his house to talk to him, that it was important but he refused to have the conversation over the phone. Because of the fear I had of how the douchenozzle I was seeing would react, I never did go. So I will never know what he wanted to talk about and if I had gone, would he still be here? I'll never forgive myself for not going and telling my ex to piss off. Now, I have an association with Christmas that makes me sick to my stomach and I hate the holidays. It's gotten a little better with each passing year, but the pain that I experienced I cannot express. There are no words for what went and am still going through.
Anyone thinking that suicide is the answer, it ISN'T AND PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE. I CAN ASSURE THAT AT LEAST ONE PERSON OUT THERE LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU GO. If anyone has ever been through this and you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. | got laid off, three days later my best friend committed suicide right before Christmas. FUCK THE HOLIDAYS. |
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