As a kid, I said "I don't know" when I didn't know the answer to a question, or when someone asked me to make a poorly defined prediction. Or I'd give a long answer full of qualifications. I quickly learned that although these answers were true, they really irritated people.<p>"I want to say true things, but apparently other people want to hear lies," I thought to myself. But I now know that it's more nuanced than that. Typical people ("non-geeks") <i>do</i> care about truth when it directly relates to what they're interested in: usually social status and mating, and if they're unfortunate, survival. Generally, they're not interested in more abstract subjects.<p>I interpreted people <i>way</i> too literally. If they talked or asked about X, I assumed they were curious about X. I didn't grasp that small talk is about <i>entertainment</i> and <i>insecurity</i>: the speakers reassure each other of their companionship; gauge each other's abilities, motivations, and desires; signal tribal affiliation; share gossip; and determine their places in the pecking order. It has nothing to do with X. X is just a pretence.<p>Even as I became conscious of this, I often acted the same way out of principle. Alas.