It sounds like you want to invest the money in yourself, which is understandable and entrepreneurial.<p>As life continues, you'll find yourself with increasingly more disposable money (hopefully), and directly investing in yourself doesn't scale (either it's too risky or you can't use it to make yourself more productive).<p>Sadly, eventually you have to invest in other countries, companies, assets, or people; in short, invest in something you wish you could control more.<p>It's a good yet stressful problem to have, but maybe the most comforting tidbit in your case is I doubt the windfall you earned is a one-time thing.  The lottery winner or not-so-bright heir to a sizable inheritance is in worse shape.