Why? This seems to be a common sentiment, but it's definitely possible to find a mate without crossing the line from "taking some initiative and dressing nicely" to "self-aggrandizing jerk". I and many of my male friends do have girlfriends; many of my female friends have boyfriends. To the best of my knowledge, no-one behaved like a jerk.<p>Which doesn't even imply "your" strategy isn't more succesful, however you want to define that, but it's definitely not the only way.