I wonder if we're having a Violent Agreement.<p>I'm not saying that you have to consciously play status ("decide to play").  I'm saying that when you interact with someone else, you <i>are</i> playing a certain level of status in relation to them, whether you are aware of it or not.<p>Engaging in some phony behavior will, of course, make people perceive you as a phony, with all the loss of respect that that entails.  Respect, of course, is a big part of status.  When you don't respect someone, you tend to play higher status toward them.