Throw away because my other account is quite active on here.  I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago and since then have made peace with it.  I am under medication, but it&#x27;s barely helping.  Recently I switched job to a very good tech company with good quality work and pay.  The plan was to join a startup  in a year or two and see where it takes me.<p>However, things have been going downhill.  I have  10 years  of programming experience and I would say I am above average at it.  Since the past few weeks, I have grown anxious and fearful of anything that&#x27;s remotely challenging.  So much so that I have started lying to take leave from work.  I like my work  but cannot muster the courage to do it.  I fear letting my team down.  I am always afraid and anxious.  It&#x27;s horrible living in fear.  Guilt has become a normal feeling.  I cannot bear lying to my awesome colleagues.  
I cannot decide what to study.  My programming confidence is taking a hit.  Everything looks bleak.  I have even thought of giving up and taking a job where I don&#x27;t have to think much, like an assistant or librarian or low level management associate.  It&#x27;s like I am just waiting to die...<p>Any advice will help.  Thanks HN.
Ask HN: Any advice for a programmer who has hit rock bottom?