I had a run-in with a woman on my team.  We disagreed on the design for a module she had just implemented.  It wasn&#x27;t going to meet the requirements, I argued.  She disagreed - it&#x27;d be fine.  Many times we sat in front of her code, I took her through exactly how her design was failing.  You know that extra 250msec mental processing time where you see it click in their heads when they realize they were wrong or had a faulty assumption?  There were like 3 of those times sitting with her, and she always changed the subject or insulted me for not understanding what she was trying to do - end of discussion.  Other team members backed me up from time to time when the issues I was raising were serious enough, I wasn&#x27;t completely alone.  There were other communications breakdowns, she NEVER requested anyone to pair with her, never did any design work nor discussed with the team what she was going to develop that sprint, was frustrated and defensive when her PR&#x27;s were full of criticisms (primarily from me.)<p>I was vocal, I was dissatisfied with her performance and did not keep it a secret, and I was demanding the same level of excellence from her as from anyone else on the team.  This went on for about two weeks ... and then she cried to the boss.  Told him she thought she might have to quit the company over the altercations with me.  So, they gave me the official sit down reprimand.  There was no interest hearing in my side of the story, not that it would matter the way HR is structured.  And, I got the distinct feeling they started keeping a file on me to try and get me canned.<p>My reaction to this, so as to keep my sweet job and food on the table, was to be just one more go-with-the-flow, smiley-faced, that-all-sounds-good kind of guy.  No more confrontation trying to get the best out of people.  Life is really nice now, I don&#x27;t have to care.  My work is still good, but I&#x27;m just doing as I was told and cashing my paycheck now.  Any actual love and passion for the work now goes into my hobby projects, and I don&#x27;t work late anymore.  Soon after all this blew over, the bosses remarked cynically that I was working so well with this woman, like it was surprising that I could turn off combat mode so easily&#x2F;at all!  I just smile and laugh meekly, &quot;yeah, we&#x27;re working well together.  It&#x27;s all so great&quot; as I choke back the bile.<p>God help that woman if she ever needs help and I&#x27;m the only one to give it.  I&#x27;ve had to endure team dynamics 10x worse in my career than what she experienced with me and I didn&#x27;t rat out the other guy.  I cannot countenance such disloyalty.  The team must resolve its differences internally and not go informing on each other at the drop of a hat!<p>Anyhow, we are still on the same team, (thanks management!), and I casually try to avoid pairing with her most of the time and smile with gritted teeth when we do have to work together.  When I see her make a mistake, I don&#x27;t point it out and just laugh to myself about it.<p>I will outlast her but she has definitely put a damper on my moving into a lead role unless I switch departments.