Here is my impression of a lot of the problem, but I am certainly not an expert:<p>In the 80s and 90s the kind of therapy you see in movies where you lie on a couch and talk about your childhood became very popular.  That is called pyschodynamic therapy.  A lot of it is based on building certain dynamics between the patient and therapist, and so in a lot of ways it builds a dependence on the therapist.  A lot of therapists feel pretty strongly against it, and that there are a lot of bad incentives at play.  I agree with them.  I also think this kind of therapy can even be regressive: it tends to focus on making the ego strong rather than flexible.  I&#x27;d be willing to bet that was the kind of therapy your family members received.<p>Those who are doing the kind of therapy I&#x27;m talking about (some CBT, mindfulness &amp; meditation, acceptance practice etc.) tend to be focused much more on skills than history.  The point is not to figure out that you react to situations in a specific way because of some off hand comment your mother made when you were 5.  The point is learning to recognize those situations, and to learn to have a goto way to deal with them.  If you stay in this kind of therapy for more than 2 years it&#x27;s probably a mistake.  From day one my therapist talked about getting me out the door.<p>So my advice would to make sure you go in with a plan, focus on skillset building, not personal exploration (which can be useful in small doses, but also is extremely egocentric and can easily exacerbate issues imo).  Have a timeline in mind (doesn&#x27;t have to be strict, but like your family my parents were in therapy for decades - that&#x27;s ridiculous and exploitative).  Keep it goal oriented.  Look for people with a lot of CBT experience.<p>And of course, the major caveat: I didn&#x27;t go in with anything but general depression and anxiety.  If you have major depression, PTSD, etc. I think the rules are probably pretty different (although my impression is that generally pyschodynamic therapy is not appropriate for that either).