If I may make a suggestion, try exploring social hobbies and friends will come.  I did meetups for a while and met some cool programmers.  After a while, I didn&#x27;t want to talk software as much in my free time, but one guy invited me out to go swing dancing.<p>I now work online remotely in Asia and visit different cities to swing dance.  Within 2 two weeks trips, I made some good freshman friends in Shanghai and Hong Kong. We still talk online from time to time about the next time we&#x27;ll meet up.<p>I am also looking to temper my expectations, as the article suggests.  I tried out a couple other styles of dancing and met freshman friends in those scenes.  I remember wanting to fit in so much with each new group, and I still feel it with swing dancing friends sometimes.  Over time, opportunities to deepen friendships arise.  There&#x27;s a lot that&#x27;s out of my control.