If you&#x27;re not feeling welcome, aim at smaller communities. Do you like a programming language? Search for &quot;Python User Group Seattle&quot; or similar. Often they organize talks and snacks and people hang out afterward.<p>And the same thing applies online. You might find the Linux kernel mailing list fairly bristly, but what about the mailing list for the database query library that you use? Those smaller ponds are much more likely to appreciate a well written bug report or pull request. Is there something you don&#x27;t like about one of the tools you use? Fix it. Or try to fix it and then ask for help.<p>And if you get burnt, move on. It&#x27;s like dating, you can&#x27;t guarantee that it&#x27;s going to work out every time. If it goes bad it doesn&#x27;t need to be a reflection on you or even on the community. It just means keep looking.