&gt; I think it was the unified purpose, the school catchment area, maybe. That proximity.<p>My high school was super-stratified. The cliques were out of control.<p>As an adult, I have much more control over my surroundings and have found a place that fits me (it took some time - I&#x27;ve lived in two countries and 7 different cities). At 46, I&#x27;m much more comfortable with who I am and liking what I like than when I was 16. Teenagers often try so desperately to fit in that it ends up taking a long time to discover who they really are. BTW, I love how the movie <i>American Beauty</i> addresses this.<p>These days I have the resources to do what I want to do. That includes eating out with friends, going to baseball games, or just to the park to play with my kids and dog. I think the only time I get the sense of stifling that you describe is when I go to a formal event but that too is an experience I want.