Yeah, this. A lot of wise, learned-it-the-hard-way advice here.<p>Growing up with bullying and beatings, kinda wires your adult brain to seek out relationships with controlling people. That&#x27;s its comfort zone, it doesn&#x27;t know how else to be in the world.<p>One way to start rewiring, is to figure out what YOU want in a partner. I don&#x27;t mean looks, but qualities and values and behaviors. Assume you had a relationship with a beauty - how would you want that beauty to ACT, toward you and toward others?<p>Sadly, physical perfection is a really inefficient criterion for your primary sort. It&#x27;s fun for about a week ... but then you&#x27;re stuck with whatever random stranger is behind the mask.<p>Could be that your manliness is just fine, but your picker needs a tune-up.