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I felt it in my bones when I woke this morning that something splendid was going to turn up.
I felt it in my bones when I woke this morning that something splendid was going to turn up.
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She looked about desperately from Bartley to the door, then to the windows, and back again to Bartley.
She looked about desperately from Bartley to the door, then to the windows, and back again to Bartley.
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He dropped back heavily into his chair by the fire.
He dropped back heavily into his chair by the fire.
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It's abominable of you to ask me.
It's abominable of you to ask me.
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If you come to me, I'll do as I see fit.
If you come to me, I'll do as I see fit.
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I must see you.
I must see you.
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"You see, my mistake was in wanting you to have everything.
"You see, my mistake was in wanting you to have everything.
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"It . . . it hasn't always made you miserable, has it?" Her eyelids fell and her lips quivered.
"It . . . it hasn't always made you miserable, has it?" Her eyelids fell and her lips quivered.
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It's getting the better of me.
It's getting the better of me.
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"You see, loving some one as I love you makes the whole world different.
"You see, loving some one as I love you makes the whole world different.
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You haven't spoken a word."
You haven't spoken a word."
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"I got in about ten minutes ago.
"I got in about ten minutes ago.
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"You want to tell me that you can only see me like this, as old friends do, or out in the world among people?
"You want to tell me that you can only see me like this, as old friends do, or out in the world among people?
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I thought it might be Sister Kate or Cousin Mike would be happening along.
I thought it might be Sister Kate or Cousin Mike would be happening along.
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I landed at Liverpool this morning and came down on the boat train."
I landed at Liverpool this morning and came down on the boat train."
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Alexander did not sit down.
Alexander did not sit down.
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I must have you to think of through the months and months of loneliness.
I must have you to think of through the months and months of loneliness.
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Alexander rose and shook himself angrily.
Alexander rose and shook himself angrily.
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There is this deception between me and everything."
There is this deception between me and everything."
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I don't trust myself any more.
I don't trust myself any more.
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He pulled up a window as if the air were heavy.
He pulled up a window as if the air were heavy.
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"Oh, what a grand thing to happen on a raw day!
"Oh, what a grand thing to happen on a raw day!
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You ask me to stay away from you because you want me!
You ask me to stay away from you because you want me!
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At least, tell me that you believe I thought I was making you happy."
At least, tell me that you believe I thought I was making you happy."
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"There's something troubling you, Bartley.
"There's something troubling you, Bartley.
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Bartley bent lower over the fire.
Bartley bent lower over the fire.
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The room was empty when he entered.
The room was empty when he entered.
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He moved uneasily and his chair creaked.
He moved uneasily and his chair creaked.
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Do you understand?
Do you understand?
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Hilda watched him with perplexity.
Hilda watched him with perplexity.
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I never dreamed it would be you, Bartley.
I never dreamed it would be you, Bartley.
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"I can't," he said heavily.
"I can't," he said heavily.
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I wanted you to eat all the cakes and have them, too.
I wanted you to eat all the cakes and have them, too.
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I can do that."
I can do that."
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But why do you let me chatter on like this?
But why do you let me chatter on like this?
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I must know about you.
I must know about you.
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She called his name on the threshold, but in her swift flight across the room she felt a change in him and caught herself up so deftly that he could not tell just when she did it. She merely brushed his cheek with her lips and put a hand lightly and joyously on either shoulder.
She called his name on the threshold, but in her swift flight across the room she felt a change in him and caught herself up so deftly that he could not tell just when she did it. She merely brushed his cheek with her lips and put a hand lightly and joyously on either shoulder.
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"Everything!"
"Everything!"
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"Always.
"Always.
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Hilda sprang up like a flame.
Hilda sprang up like a flame.
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"You want me to say it?" she whispered.
"You want me to say it?" she whispered.
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Hilda held her face back from him and began to cry bitterly.
Hilda held her face back from him and began to cry bitterly.
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He stood his ground over by the windows until Hilda came in.
He stood his ground over by the windows until Hilda came in.
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Keep away if you wish; when have I ever followed you?
Keep away if you wish; when have I ever followed you?
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I get nothing but misery out of either.
I get nothing but misery out of either.
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She leaned her head against his arm and spoke softly:--
She leaned her head against his arm and spoke softly:--
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But, if you come to me, I'll do as I see fit.
But, if you come to me, I'll do as I see fit.
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He rose and pushed the chair behind him and began to walk miserably about the room, seeming to find it too small for him.
He rose and pushed the chair behind him and began to walk miserably about the room, seeming to find it too small for him.
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She pushed him toward the big chair by the fire, and sat down on a stool at the opposite side of the hearth, her knees drawn up to her chin, laughing like a happy little girl.
She pushed him toward the big chair by the fire, and sat down on a stool at the opposite side of the hearth, her knees drawn up to her chin, laughing like a happy little girl.
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Hilda shivered and sat still.
Hilda shivered and sat still.
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"Could you-could you sit down and talk about it quietly, Bartley, as if I were a friend, and not some one who had to be defied?"
"Could you--could you sit down and talk about it quietly, Bartley, as if I were a friend, and not some one who had to be defied?"
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The shamefulness of your asking me to do that!
The shamefulness of your asking me to do that!
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He ignored her question.
He ignored her question.
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I wanted you always to be happy and handsome and successful-to have all the things that a great man ought to have, and, once in a way, the careless holidays that great men are not permitted."
I wanted you always to be happy and handsome and successful--to have all the things that a great man ought to have, and, once in a way, the careless holidays that great men are not permitted."
4446
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Why didn't you let me be angry with you?
Why didn't you let me be angry with you?
4446
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The first was-sort of in play, wasn't it?"
The first was--sort of in play, wasn't it?"
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"Yes, yes," she hurried, pulling her hand gently away from him. Presently it stole back to his coat sleeve.
"Yes, yes," she hurried, pulling her hand gently away from him. Presently it stole back to his coat sleeve.
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Something of their troubling sweetness came back to Alexander, too.
Something of their troubling sweetness came back to Alexander, too.
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It's different now.
It's different now.
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"I can't stand seeing you miserable."
"I can't stand seeing you miserable."
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The stop at Queenstown, the tedious passage up the Mersey, were things that he noted dimly through his growing impatience.
The stop at Queenstown, the tedious passage up the Mersey, were things that he noted dimly through his growing impatience.
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I won't promise.
I won't promise.
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Come over to the fire; you're chilled through."
Come over to the fire; you're chilled through."
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The world is all there, just as it used to be, but I can't get at it any more.
The world is all there, just as it used to be, but I can't get at it any more.
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"We've tortured each other enough for tonight.
"We've tortured each other enough for tonight.
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We had only a few days, and your new play was just on, and you were so happy."
We had only a few days, and your new play was just on, and you were so happy."
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The sight of you, Bartley, to see you living and happy and successful-can I never make you understand what that means to me?" She pressed his shoulders gently.
The sight of you, Bartley, to see you living and happy and successful--can I never make you understand what that means to me?" She pressed his shoulders gently.
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Then came all those years without you, lonely and hurt and discouraged; those decent young fellows and poor Mac, and me never heeding-hard as a steel spring.
Then came all those years without you, lonely and hurt and discouraged; those decent young fellows and poor Mac, and me never heeding--hard as a steel spring.
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Hilda was pale by this time, and her eyes were wide with fright.
Hilda was pale by this time, and her eyes were wide with fright.
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"What about us, Bartley?" she asked in a thin voice.
"What about us, Bartley?" she asked in a thin voice.
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Bartley, you're cowardly!"
Bartley, you're cowardly!"
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"Don't cry, don't cry," he whispered.
"Don't cry, don't cry," he whispered.
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Bartley gave a bitter little laugh, and Hilda looked up and read in the deepening lines of his face that youth and Bartley would not much longer struggle together.
Bartley gave a bitter little laugh, and Hilda looked up and read in the deepening lines of his face that youth and Bartley would not much longer struggle together.
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Bartley leaned his head in his hands and spoke through his teeth.
Bartley leaned his head in his hands and spoke through his teeth.
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"Yes, I was happy, wasn't I?" She pressed his hand gently in gratitude. "Weren't you happy then, at all?"
"Yes, I was happy, wasn't I?" She pressed his hand gently in gratitude. "Weren't you happy then, at all?"
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"No!" she gasped.
"No!" she gasped.
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Hilda sat on the arm of it and put her hands lightly on his shoulders.
Hilda sat on the arm of it and put her hands lightly on his shoulders.
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He locked and unlocked his hands over the grate and spread his fingers close to the bluish flame, while the coals crackled and the clock ticked and a street vendor began to call under the window.
He locked and unlocked his hands over the grate and spread his fingers close to the bluish flame, while the coals crackled and the clock ticked and a street vendor began to call under the window.
4446
/root/.cache/huggingface/datasets/downloads/extracted/b814e720279e7b81e61bdb205446cdc8f419e2b356ec9aaec0de02275dac3aba/LibriTTS_R/test-clean/4446/2275/4446_2275_000011_000000.wav
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And I've got nobody but you.
And I've got nobody but you.
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She stood over him with her hands clenched at her side, her body rigid.
She stood over him with her hands clenched at her side, her body rigid.
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"Each life spoils the other.
"Each life spoils the other.
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It's unbearable.
It's unbearable.
4446
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But I didn't know.
But I didn't know.
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You've only to tell me now.
You've only to tell me now.
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Alexander leaned forward and warmed his hands before the blaze.
Alexander leaned forward and warmed his hands before the blaze.
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She rose uncertainly, touched his hair with her hand, then sank back upon her stool.
She rose uncertainly, touched his hair with her hand, then sank back upon her stool.
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And then you came back, not caring very much, but it made no difference."
And then you came back, not caring very much, but it made no difference."
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"But why NOW?" she asked piteously, wringing her hands.
"But why NOW?" she asked piteously, wringing her hands.
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I'm growing older, and you've got my young self here with you.
I'm growing older, and you've got my young self here with you.
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The last two days of the voyage Bartley found almost intolerable.
The last two days of the voyage Bartley found almost intolerable.
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"I meant to, but somehow I couldn't.
"I meant to, but somehow I couldn't.
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I will ask the least imaginable, but I must have SOMETHING!"
I will ask the least imaginable, but I must have SOMETHING!"
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I will do anything you say-but that!
I will do anything you say--but that!
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Forget everything except that I am here."
Forget everything except that I am here."
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"I'll do anything you wish me to, Bartley," she said tremulously.
"I'll do anything you wish me to, Bartley," she said tremulously.
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"After the very first.
"After the very first.
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Emerging at Euston at half past three o'clock in the afternoon, Alexander had his luggage sent to the Savoy and drove at once to Bedford Square.
Emerging at Euston at half-past three o'clock in the afternoon, Alexander had his luggage sent to the Savoy and drove at once to Bedford Square.
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He looked at her and his haggard face softened.
He looked at her and his haggard face softened.
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"It's too late to ask that.
"It's too late to ask that.
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I carried it all lightly enough at first, but now I don't dare trifle with it.
I carried it all lightly enough at first, but now I don't dare trifle with it.
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4446_2275_000043_000003