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And hi
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r/teenagers
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post
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r/teenagers
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCeW5FblBEcGhtYzdGVUV2Z04yZTFxbURKUFZGYzQ4THgtdUY3ODktU0JKOXFlMnVodmhEbHN0T0M2Tm5lZkdfRVhrMXpxekhzdGtPOXFfc2lLZkZoQUE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEWHVlNktzZDdyUW5aUVhpOG9oS1VrZXhuQ2poTlpCbFBvbTNVbjdRZ2h6VHBpOGFRVUFFWHVXbTEyT1A2RmVXY1ZjaVZ0YlAtSm5OSU5jeGNBTG5qQTNySy12NVFUV0ZDWnFRX1Y2Q1VHWlNpMVc3X1BTM29NWU9RN3BQZ3dCMlFyYzJDSU1tLW1EeFhUM2NqQk5oTFZVN3ZfU29tci14VGR3WktoVklTM016VTFub0JsRDluWDNHdVp5ZDRDNmpY
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Damn. The fact he left you and is now dying alone says a-lot about this man. Also, he called you “to take care of him”. The way he phrased it reeks of something close to narcissistic personality.
Whatever you decide to do make sure it is right for you. If you do decide to go - you always have the opportunity to walk away. You do not need to endure emotional abuse.
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r/advice
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comment
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCekJseXdieXpraWtOVkhQazZRSVhraFptaEIzNURhNzUtVkRNNW9fSDhQc0VGdHFrOUpmYVdhS2pMbDVDdWttVDhtLUdpbjIyem5pT2RqRVJYMlNNRGVzR19CdFlRTU56MTEyS1FCaERBUEU9
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEVjMyaWFPSjFmWWJwSkRJV1h0OE45ektCeENXYmxlMG1ma190RE1tV1hQZ1N5MVJCR3d6UXAzd3FRMHhkZWYwck55bjNQZzR0bGJGZ2tXeG9ValJMZjZzNVpKbVBEWkZ3bWJGLTRsbkl3Z09WenVzbkNla3B1RC1ncnVkREpidTBzSTQyNzdReTBmMVdEX0tDWVdhaFItZVBVTnFTSXRMLVRPMVRIc1hZYTVRcWgxWDRYYXhrdlNLcHlvYU1takRzT3J6czZZUnRUOVh4dzEwSTFldVdfQT09
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I didn’t say that at all. She asked what she can do. She asked if she should be petty. I made it pretty clear that she can’t control what he does, only what she does or does not do.
You’re looking for a fight, for some reason. You won’t find one here.
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r/advice
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCd1Nfb1BGN0h4WGxFRzdaWjVNZ1Fnbmt6NVlkMW5tR2hsYlFIaElVaVRuTjYwd0UzMWs3RW9GdnRVOXlKendiMkY4REs4SkpYdUUtRnkxTWhSN1BNMVE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lERjlpcm5KRjhYdDJmNnhvSzdqS1RHa19GVHA5TFpBN0dBZmhFSlVOR1d2OHBPM0RLbWMzRUxLcmhKX3R1MWtJWE9DX08yY0tGb2o3c1ZDbC1tM1hqOXA5eTk2aGdxYTJrbzAwMXpINl9vbW5vQUV0NTNOOWdnWnNQQms2cWd4WHc0Y0JnV1d3aDFqbWRPUmlMdmY1TUhrdlhRSVQ5TjVSejlYM1lBRmZnN0Jwbm1YZEZiVHNCVXlFWC1pdUZVeGdf
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If he has CSAM/CSEM, you should take his phone to the police and leave him. Start a new life, talk to a counselor, and heal. The VAST majority of pedophiles will never act on their urges, but having content means he's willing to support people that do act on those urges.
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r/advice
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCQnZZbmdVUG9fdzJ0NVdKVU1DdnBGLTNwdUpYdzhSb2lzUWlMb1hLdXU3bWRRZUwxdUxNSUNLcjJKa3d5R1pzbThRYVpUdTRLb0diVGVRSkZlRkpuQkE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEMGhETGFTRVJsN0lsMWFVendzTEVYbVE1RGlYRlFHdklBZVB3SGlVTWdyNzFsWUZGNlhKd21JUm82VXZwRE9OMFR2UElUNmVVMWtVbzR0VWJiWXhhOHBFRzJLaWduUF80ZXRuc015UjBvTDcwWjFvOThoX1FMSkN1SVNSc0pYNHpOM0oyX1BBVTNZX0dlMGVvc2tuUnppbTFEcGxVXzRRREZHd2IxU1JoYlZ3RGREX19OYmxRNHlFTF8zZVRfS2R6RUxOVHM2NGVRRFZHTnlrMDNKbEE2UT09
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OP is not a child anymore. They should be able to make decisions about their lives as adults. As parents, we shouldn't let our own emotional baggage influence their decisions.
If OP was my daughter, I would try to be as unbiased as possible. I could still tell her my concern that she is doing it out of a moral sense of obligation or that she might be expecting an outcome that may be disappointing, but I would never tell her that choosing to take care of her father would disappoint me or make me feel any different towards her. Being abandoned as a wife is not the same as being abandoned as a son/daughter. We can't expect people to react the same way to these experiences.
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r/advice
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCYWpyLU9KUkRteHZ0MGNwQS1UWkVhUGtXV2hXSmNQZ1JFak5NWTd0UTRmNEpyazVNQVZlVy1tN29lYV8yYWZ6eFo3aU9GX0h1NXBKQllkMExnY0V6Q0E9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEaDltVTBQU3F6czlJZm11VG5abmp3SkJ1b29zbVg2OFRISzVoU1ZpZW50XzEzWmpSMHFWWkFsU1lKdzFpZFBTQ3lkU0JIQmxiMGs2VGtXQ3J3RHVNa0haeXh5aDNyeF9JMWhJVGJfdVltdlBHcEdmUExBNUN5Wl95LXlYc1Ria05vYWlFMnVGZzAwb2pET05VWXJORG00WnZnUlIxZmJuQ24zLVpueF9EQzZGZWo5cmFpN2hpNlRCMXZISlRJRmpQakd3RVJCZE5EcnRac1AtZ2lBLTNMZz09
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Here's a thought: What would be the harm of forgiving your father and helping him in his time of need? What would be wrong with simply letting go of all that resentment? Honestly, you aren't required to hate the guy just because your family does. In the end, you'll feel unburdened while your fam stews in all those bad feelings.
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCZGF0eTQzMkFpcXR1YWhnX012WWFDTDlBcC1HVG03bDYwT010eWY2blpjTGNwN2N6WHUwalpjbElzTld0Vjd0a2c3MEhYdWJiYmlLVlVDOGcwVUNaN3c9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEUWF2S2I2bDlKZmFUdVVhQXFIMXFDUmNxYU5lSThQWUl2MHVCWHhETy1qUDJLWjNOLVhRcUFVbVozOEFGU0ozRzFNZzBETlQ2Uko4SlRURm9udE02VmdjbTBNRGhpMlJJOTF0WE5Ha1ZXdFI1TUN0R3pnTTNQX0N0c21ZRXpidXR3cTJHejdhQkFTMFRST2dZOUZqN0FfWFg4d2ZzN2owT29JQzJoYkdyc19nY29NakVsOHl4UlVGZFEtN1dGaFFmMHlCbEJoVzAxSUJHVlFjZTVFckhOdz09
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can’t weigh em, that leaves u to decide the entire relationship. i know it’s insane and hard to come to senses especially in the moment but u gotta just communicate it to her. if u feel passionately about these emotions and feelings then tell her. remind her of everything u feel and ask how she wants to proceed and suggest how you want to proceed. if you have no idea how to proceed express that. you’ll get nowhere unless u talk with her.
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCZFR0Zkg5TVZqTUpfa2htQzlhMlJtWjJMaHE3MHZmbjhhRU1UR3RzZVc1bmtUZk16OEZycUQ3TlFCaUsxOUNJbi1oWEcwUlcyVXVGT1B4QXdERS1iRVVQTEFveGpFZ2E3aTRfdm4zRHk1Znc9
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEdzk1Qm1FcDI4TWdDSmk4ellsTGc3eVNJMGdOdHhpQnFzbVlpa1pWbVZLV2RzYms0dFJxQkJsNm40eWxMbkQ2aTlOcm9uS1c5QzgxTkQwbnB5OGY5RDNETE02QU5WT2tVT3o3RXdSVnFDYXNzS0hxdC1QR2Z3S3Bfc2xXYjgyblpPbjFyRUVDb0pQTXJZaTJXMEdVV012RHhKS05EQlNMc3pBR210QVZhWlpZPQ==
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He has no one to turn to ... Tell him it kinda sucks doesn't it
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCMzNXcmJyQTBnRGVabVgtdEp2SUtWN2JXczNncU0zdzMtNi1MeVRvMzVwM3VSN0NQSFluUHdyQm9jY2w3eGp0LUtESHJibm1nVEVYYlpyOU10SjF3ZkE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEaFZVQWtBQ2N5RTcyQ25hN1pMNFlFVzlYaW01cGpBM3JxNHBYYkhYc255V2M3MDVtRTIwS05CWkd2d2Z0S29tSzBYVzVId2JtQXZ3SF9UUXgzUXQ2dU9HRVJjNlBrb0k3cTgxR3VmQ0swdG12SFhqd3hkTHAyWWRtNl9DSmNEYXhpbWktb3N4eTdjT1VQSGZxT0N6dll2MHFXVG1GMkRpWGZDNEJLVXFaamZyMjRNWUNTd2ctbVk2MG83SlhFaDJUcjZlT3RaX1ZSVmN1SGtLVnlBTm42dz09
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Being single could include dating others. Just not a serious commitment.
Right. You might always feel this way. You might should come clean and talk about it. I think this will bother you too much to not say something.
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r/advice
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCbkI1SzRPbXRaYTZ0YUREdF96aGNnaTJ6UDBnc2cwemM5SVZReGRZeDhybjBQQmhYZ05tS2R5dXA0MHE3THJXbmtYOHd4WGd4cS1nVnZnaVl2V2tSV2c9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEbkZvQTNsS3pZX0JEc29iRlZLMEtIYld4d1Q3ODV3OTRRYnBvVDJBbzMyRmstMU5oNFk2Z25jTnZTNXdoaGVwbzlOSTJDenpXaWNlMVpGemV6SGNodFVSbnlXcHBOWUZ5NU5pT2ZQSEFNVFp5MXprTDZQV1M5R1lTekxBR2RHc3AxcUZsdU03alBxVzJ4NzVzUUUwdmwxajRqNXJGd1pCQTduenpFQnBrUndTNWFKeW1pdWxOM1I2akdJclI1OUVj
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I just want to add to the "he made his choices"
Your father left you for whatever reasons and continued to live a different life. He had plenty of opportunities to prepare for something like this, because everyone knows (I hope) that getting older comes with increasing probability to suffer from various conditions.
Whatever he did, apparently he did not take care of that part. Which is actually his main responsibility, you know, after abandoning you. Yet, he now wants to rely on you and become a burden. Why?
Where did all the money go he was making all these years? If he didn't work, why? If he lost it all, why and how? Seems like he failed at life's basics and now that he is in dire need of money, he suddenly remembers he has family.
Sorry to say, but the guy has no shame and even now at death's door it's all about him getting what he needs.
Honestly, imho there is only one decent options: he should be asking you what *you* need to make peace with the situation.
If he can't do that, he shouldn't have contacted you at all.
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r/advice
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCM3h0Z1U3ZDA1Z1hPMGR5NzJCOHJnci0zZUNyOXcwQzZEYTBXaHZ1V0U3b0xvMkk5Z0hibjFUeXp4Nnl4TnNKZmx4Q0s2c29TdlVGRk9rTTQ2M0l1Q0E9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lESGFXSFdQclNRQUloSkF1eDJ0YVhyUWM5S0duSEhISTNrSUlWbmJMdENxb0hNdVFxYnU0N3RhaW9PcjU3X1p4NTY2MWhDTGVmcWVVeExieXhMLXdaZzh2Q1lBTU9FQ01oRlFPYzdnNFh4WVNBQklmZ1duczNqdGIyaW9oY2xWQmNPcGp6QWpoODg4czI0TnpEVWxfLVJuU3BNa0E1b2VWUHVrd0dDV1hrMC1EcUV4Y2F6UkktV2lhLXdBR1ZLRXJua2RBaFlvcW1VeEViUXhHbDZaZktZUT09
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I had an abortion many years ago when I was 18. I was nervous going into it and even had to walk past a few protesters that were in front of the clinic. The procedure itself wasn't painful, I had some cramping afterward, but nothing too bad. All these years later I've never once regretted my decision, and I'm grateful I had the freedom to make the choice I did.
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCYl9vUi1mVTFYSWlhN3NYRHlOQWVPRllYVldjaGN6OGVRN25rejYyckpCanJiR1ZHWnVwXzN6dE1YNlVPTG8xVk93U0hvREdCRm41YUx4bE5YaDhsOExlRnloQU5hSXJuYkZUSldYYXduYTA9
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEQzlHN3N1c0RQRm1ORkl5Y0FxNENreU9leGI2UTNKU1h6OVZid1pNcHptZkZyN0wybHJmdW5KanNUV3hia2s5bjdkSkdiMnctVXFSX1N3NVU3a1I1NFdNR2FYMmF2Wk9OWVM4bkYtSEZ4V3gtNDU0bmYzOEh5N1JDVmJPdmRGd2lISzA2ZnhwbXhuTkFaenhUMk45aTNldEdCNW5kUmQ5NXYxb1RGbEUxdWNVPQ==
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Short answer: don't.
Long answer: dooooooooooooon't
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCZVpNN3JkYi00aDAtUnBjWFRHMm5GNnJySXlOeHk0VjZjUXo2YVZjMkFnYTRKNnczd0M3eGduY3hrblMwbjdDcFhsWFNfZjVPdzRhTFE1WkhrTjl5M1E9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEMlBRV3EwcC1CeTlodm0teXhka0NXNUxKMy1FWDZJWlpXeXptZDlndlFkZWxLdVdLb2ZUZW5rWTVxOXdQWEpWb0xUUUxfSmUwajBuY1JKMEtmcWhibDNIWU9DTHc5Y1NjTmM5d2l1VXZjMC1NLVBrYkppTmRnUGNGMDN5cURMbWhLTzUxeHFhX1I5OUJCSFlQazJNTXY4WUhISVdWVlB6NkhkTG1ObjdGb2hPR0VUSUYweHREM21UZ04zWndrd2ZzR190cnB4VE9Ja0pheXpyNURXX2VqQT09
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This is really great advice, thanks! He actually approached me last night after dinner apologising and said he was really proud of me and my work and acknowledged that we wouldn’t be in the position we’re in without me and he was lucky to have me. We chatted about why he feels the way he feels and acts like a bit of a jerk and we chatted about him maybe having separation anxiety and talked about how he can help himself and what there is out there to help I.e therapy (he’s been to therapy before for depression and I’m not entirely sure he had a good experience with it), and what I can do to support him while he helps himself. I’m happy he brought it up and not me which is a big step for him and I’m happy we’re tackling this as a team. He does go to the gym several times a week which has helped his mental health and he’s starting to make more friends which is good.
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCUXNmOURwN2JmUUpacFpEckx5R1FEaWpiNkJFbzdwUWNpYklTU2NEOEgyc3RmRDlSa1MwcEhyZmU3aFUzS2NQY2VzZWZFSGYxMnBMdGI4MkJybWNLOWc9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEZnFPS0ZSU05ZWHhJY251SFNNcnlWNWZ0Q1pUSldUbHJ4VzExdWtFNUdJcTJzc25fUXZPRHhsNHI1RDJlMG9BaGszSHc5WjBuZlhWdWNPUS12LUlUc0ZOTEVFQUZxQ2JqQVVTWFlNTU9vbWxHaGc0MVdZa29WR3RuSWRXU05INzduTF81WWl5ZTFBWHVYWVdmb2d6dDhLUDZKV1NIZUh1eHlCZ3RGQ2psY0kybnZlZ0tSdS1vc2hOS3RuSXNmX2tDaWxHTExibHRkckFURHN5YXE2VlpQQT09
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Sorry that happened. Its not right and I know you were just trying not to be rude but I think you have to get used to turning these people down. I think you will be fine, dont worry. But im sure itll happen again at some point and now you will know exactly what to do :)
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCQi03cTRSZWc2MGxNR3VoVkQzM0lBTXZ1VzdZVGxMYlc0WkpJSml4UkdfM3QyVXJKbXUtbDZrSXFVSFY1ZEM0QTNlNmxyNkNkY285LWN5YzBFbHdRbUE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEMGlLWmM5WEEwVjRBUTVZc1BfV0FtZ0NJbEY3cGhnZURiSFkwNmNRX3BUMkU3eFl2d2Z2dk5TTGRheDZvWGZDR2NQLS1tajZ1OWdFdTdFSEhtaEV5QUp2Y1doeExxZEQ3ZVc0blY0ZEZGMWtySlpDRXViNzZjUUZNZV9aYW5oMFhSQXNEV2RKUXYwWEgtUDJJOXdUcTBjU01jcjl0bTQtMGxscDF2d1JGRDJxQnVQbWVOUnNtRjc1WUhza0wtb2M2RVoyMEpXb0JuX3RFV3E3LWVWcTFyQT09
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if it helps...
you are in no way obligated to help anyone. not even your mother. so do what works best for you, follow your heart, and if it causes you turmoil, consider it might not be right for you. these are not their decisions to make...
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCdkt5OFRwRHkxU3p6elpuNHNCM21QcTB0aks1LUNzUkpxN3UyeUp5OFFzMGFuTC1VOHZDR04xOERFVjdaak9KQ1o2bjE5VEhiMUJ0dWlCeDNIZTBya1E9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEaWhMVkl2bG93Nnk5b0hDRGw3WTEzZDVPeGxGd3NQN3RXcEdjYVpRNldlQmR4djNHa2xFMjJpWE11MWUxVF8ycGhIX2RvOEFWQVRsbVBXR0RSZHQ5VlFTMWN2TWQ2bkliZlJqVVBKN21wWUxHRnpmMU1FdFBNNFNGZnVyYnY5N2ktR2tEYk9nc2VuSFRJRG1lMkYtZUNwbHlZRUhaZWR5Ri0wNUt1U1JzWHR3M3cxMlUyd3dRQ3dGelhqd1YtQVRWLWt1V1BhLWNDU0FiZUNwaTlpYmRtUT09
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To this day I remember when I was about 6, got the "red" measles. My temperature got to 103-degrees. It was the only time I ever sleep-walked and I remember the dream/hallucinations to this day.
The doctor suggested my mom give me a cool enema and it brought the temperature down right away.
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCSlBrUDlLdGI2eGRFcnZHTWpJeEw3ZWV0SXZ0X1R3UGZBT2I0RFJpeDBjMEIxcFVGUWhCczNFZGR3NUJuS2dwNWlCMG5lQTRVRDVzOXl2UjNhWC16RkE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lELU9vYnpWcVlNbWZTUVpYVG4zUlM5T2U5X1RObW9EeFdLNnBqY1pDTFpjSWxCZFloVnR6SGVnTUpodlJFb3ZXTHR4bkZia0JkMzl6TTlVNTM5ODkxTnN6cHJRMjBRRlk5WERzRF84M0lUcE05UkVNOHRiQ2tpV1loNnBQcVl5OGJDNnFWWl9fWDlvYUhMcW1RYmQ3cmc3Qmwyc0hSVzk2UEdfT0dGVmxLclE4QWNqYTVVNHhzazJoU1pnVDBUcEtDOEM3ZmpzclVHWFFWOWhmY3Jqd3FoZz09
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Move on
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCVHVfWFlXaGdtQzAzUjBHVm1OdnJaZWRxaDB5X3pla2V3MHQ0MXctdkJfSWdiUWluMVpndTVPTVBxT19GVDRjSHRheG1zaHR4dVdiRWFZSnB4T0FPb2c9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEc3VjZkJkYlhXZFQtQlNvbkJrVVVOVlJYZkdMQjBwWHRUYWZ5OWsydjlqZklIc1F3X3dnTF9JNFFzSW1WZjRTc2pfVXk1WlZKMXVyNXpuU1dvdW5rVnZpeUdqa0Fqd2Fnb0d2R1M5OFdkTHJEdG82dDNycUxkM2Y4cmxldGt1Z1ZaeEh1dk9SdlRfV1pvVEZETE1SZzN6cU9tYWVJU2haSUJmSkVEd0pKTFdQb2s0dGY2VkdLVkhfdTk1WnFsbGdP
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If all of your friends are anti-lgbt and you’re the opposite, yeah get new friends like it’s not that said. If everyone in your town is anti-lgbt… don’t paint your nails.
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCUDhRR083amtGeFRxdzVXMENmNFAyMGdOS282MDk2OVNiSHI4ZG5OczFXc2VEUTEteFlFRzJaRlJNMlhHNUNURVh5MWI3WnVnTVNmdWlseW9pS0hjZEE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEVmp0Tk1VSTFmOUROa01LSzJiQ2hUX3pKX2ZKMjZONHBaQTlxY0U2OUtJbl90MTdlSFJZaFA5RmRSTXZ5VXhXR1JZc1k2OVROcnVXZnJGNldkZF82bmRwUVJCdlFTVlZWUk5vMnFzUkdwcVh3M2JoUnNNeC1heXpXajFFLVRWYWthZ1h4cmtBVzJRUThveFpBTmQySXF4NG9Cd24tWjNJQVEyaFZIbmFfU2dHUFAzWW5DMGJIYWJZXzhiXzB2ZW9nRTBLa25zX0U3Yl82UzhsMEphQUpJUT09
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> I just feel guilty about the fact I told this girl everything and I don’t know what to do now.
**[Guilt](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201208/the-definitive-guide-guilt) can be viewed as a positive emotion**, it's a response of normal healthy people who realize they have done something wrong. It helps you act more positively, more responsibly, often to correct what you did in the past, that you now consider wrong. If possible, before you address your feelings of shame, try to fix what causes you to feel guilt. Repair what you have broken, if that's possible. This *should* be enough to remove the feelings of guilt.
Then apologize, either to others, or to yourself - yes, even *you yourself* deserves your own compassion. If have already made amends, then stop now and carefully, slowly apologize to yourself.
**[Shame](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame) on the other hand**, is a self-punishing acknowledgment of something gone wrong. It is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. It's important to know that unresolved shame leads to feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.
[Shame](https://psychcentral.com/lib/shame-the-quintessential-emotion/) is normally not a sign of mental illness. In many situations, it's abnormal if we don't experience it.
Understanding where shame comes from is necessary in order to effectively deal with it. Shame is much more intense than simple embarrassment and likely was caused by you making what you now think was a moral mistake. Most shame is experienced when others are around. The last thing you want to do when you are ashamed, is talk about it. If you do, others may discover just how horrible you are. This is what keeps your shame intact. You keep it to yourself, and that sustains it and makes it grow, your silence is what feeds this beast and makes it stronger.
In order to break this cycle, this is what you need to do:
* Go to people you trust in your life and tell them what you are ashamed of, just like how you told me. They will put the shame in perspective and will help how to come up with strategies on how to deal with it. By acknowledging shame, you will refuse to let it define who you are. This act will release the tension that's been build up inside of you. I could tell you this as well, but having a stranger tell you this over the internet, isn't *nearly* as powerful as when someone close to you tells you this in person.
* The next technique to use to defeat your shame, is locating where the sensation of shame manifests in your body. It could be a pit in your stomach, or a whole-body kind of numbness or ache. Then place a hand over that area or over your heart and direct comforting, affirming energy to that part of the body. This might feel goofy at first, but there's a reason the exercise works. Self-criticism and shame tap into the threat defense system, but self-compassion taps into the care-giving system, when you put your hands on your heart and say kind things to yourself in a soft voice, you reduce your cortisol levels and release oxytocin and opiates.
* Finally, forgive yourself. If you feel like it, say it out loud. "I forgive myself". Now repeat it if you have to, until you *believe it*. Just sit down and think about it for a few minutes. How you deserve to forgive yourself. How it's time to move on.
Going through the process of defying your shame will actually make you a stronger person. Overcoming shame isn't easy and you will be drawing upon your inner strength, resiliency and coping abilities to come out victoriously on the other side.
Most watched videos:
* [Letting Go Of Guilt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRF0erizDA8) (250K+ views, 7 min)
* [How to Let Go of Guilt, Shame & Regret: Practical Advice & Tips | Wu Wei Wisdom](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX9YxIWrEAc) (40K+ views, 36 min)
[If you have been drinking last night](https://www.bustle.com/articles/156713-why-do-we-feel-guilty-after-we-drink-5-reasons-you-experience-drinkers-guilt) and you are currently having a hang over, [that can be the cause of your guilt.](http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/now/question/216475-why-do-hangovers-induce-guilt). Alcohol really is a horrible drug and this is just one of it's many downsides. The only reason that it's legal, is because it predates the legal system. Consider not drinking as an alternative.
Highest rated books:
* [Let Go of the Guilt: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Take Back Your Joy](https://www.amazon.com/Let-Go-Guilt-Beating-Yourself/dp/0785220216) (100+ ratings, 4.7 star)
* [Blameless: Living a Life Free from Guilt and Shame](https://www.amazon.com/Blameless-Living-Life-Guilt-Shame/dp/1981437118) (40+ reviews, 4.9 star)
**Please note:**
Both anxiety as well as OCD are known to frequently cause strong feelings of shame and guilt. If that is the cause of your feelings of guilt, then simply by reducing your anxiety, you will reduce your feelings of guilt.
* [Guilt and Anxiety How guilt feeds anxiety and how anxiety feeds guilt - How to get rid of guilt](https://youtu.be/8RgoZ-bObOE?t=68) (4 minutes, youtube)
* [Feelings of Guilt and Their Connection to Anxiety](https://exploringyourmind.com/feelings-of-guilt-and-their-connection-to-anxiety)
* [Guilt: A Distressing Effect of Anxiety](https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2016/07/guilt-a-distressing-effect-of-anxiety)
* [Two of the main features of OCD are doubt and guilt](https://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/ten-things-you-need-to-know-to-overcome-ocd). So that means there is a small chance that the guilt you are feeling is actually caused by OCD.
[Here is a short test that will test you for OCD symptoms](https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/ocd-quiz). Let me know if you scored over 8, then I will give advice on how to recognize and treat OCD as well.
[Here's a two minute test](https://www.anxietycentre.com/tests/anxiety-disorder-test) you can take that will give us an idea roughly how anxious you are, you should fill out how you've felt in the last **month**. Let me know if you scored over 45.
[Here's a two minute test](https://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tests/social-anxiety-test.shtml) to check if you have social anxiety issues and not something else (results will be visible right away). Let me know if you scored over 50.
If you've tried the above techniques twice a week, over a period of a month, but you still feel ashamed and you've ruled out OCD, then try to find a [compassion-focused therapist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compassion-focused_therapy). This is a (often CBT trained) therapist that has specialized in dealing with feelings of shame or guilt. By [clicking here](https://www.google.com/maps/search/compassion-focused+therapist) you can find one that is close to you.
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r/advice
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comment
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCZWRmNmNfNUZDVjVrZzItdENkZkhsWnVjQk9aNjNkQk83U1RCUUNzREpzSlpuU2dRYUpfRWg5ZnB6eDl5cEhYVW0ySS1idVAzblhZM3NqZ014Z1U0MUZCM0F0UVNtLVJBV2xURUs2aHJJMXM9
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lENnJNRkVFUW5va1JFVzBQZWtXRjV0dE9PenJiSEhqOGpwRmZJeG83R0ZHaTRSNXNJN3Y3VmNTMDFvSXp0Mzl4V0g1UWxhNk5obDFuanVYNHJsSkdxdk0xRDMwbGJKVzNVSFhzSWNBaW9XalFCWkpQTzNsUVYwRXB1R0dJY2k4aW1fNkdVQ2JhMFYyelRNaGRKY0NuamlJVk5YZUNMdjJQSzZmMlhjeEJBcVIwPQ==
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Thank you for confirming that /u/Turnt5naco has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
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r/advice
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comment
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r/Advice
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCb3VSd1dMRnUtdjdCZV8xVkZfVThCTjUycHhuX29WMW1SRDJWZmsyQVNTeHFVVTZ2NEhxMzlUWU1yY0xOOEg2djdCUjV3ekJ2SDRJeHdYMHFSSzNuQmc9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEWmZIVFVvUHh3c2duODRxWkFCZVEzREpiTEZpeTFLZWlJY1Vqdk9XWTFneUxQbEdPVmM2VjhEX3VzdHNXVE5qUl92LWVNMU52QkwyU2lRTnpiNlp4MEFhb0hqNUNSZ2c0ak5UOGN1LW9heHNFU2YySzEwU3pFeTd5YXppWEU2OWd4MWZqbWN2SHRYLXpvelpEdmdQTU8wNkI0b0VsQlFEbzk2QXkxRktialFuUlk1N0t4RGN5ZlRBUFM2UG1SeTZvNWhQT3ZLblYtTGpLQk1PM3F6NlhPUT09
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*Im a student studing in the final year of high school. I live in India, though India is not a racist country by law, but it is indeed racist. The people here are what I call* ***White washed*** *after centuries of British rule, the people have subconsciously accepted the fair skin superior and more attractive.*
*Im brown skinned myself, an atheist, someone who does not believe in looks but here I stand having fallen for someone because of her looks, I know its probably just harmones but the feeling of her looking at me, she talking and just a glance of her makes my heart beat go crazy. I find myself being a hypocrite, untrustworthy, I see myself as an example of how our emotions or rather the harmones take over our intellect. She never gave me a thought, I tried to approach her but got ghosted. ITS BECAUSE OF MY LOOKS .*
*Im well aware of how insignificant this event is for my professional life or for my studies, it just saddens me as I have to suppress the urge to be with that girl, as I have to tell myself that its not possible. My final exams will be over in a week and I will get a final glance at her.*
***LOOKS DOESN'T MATTER, BUT THEY DO***
*But then I think that if a girl cant grasp a concept (intellect>face) this simple, then se doesn't desereve me.*
I hope to see some comments sharing their own experience. PEACE
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r/teenagers
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post
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r/teenagers
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCdlE2OTlnUUVUZEs0YmtUS0RiWmNjaE9lUEkzcVdURDdyZGgtaXlJR3dSVnA3RWtuMFJRTzlEM3FCZGw4TnVRbExpWkZtUTZOaFBBVjBoWDJLTVhQcDVrMVkyaktQbV9tRlktaVVodDBQbzA9
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lETkhKanpQYzZGbEhnbjIwMVVDMWVQcXZBQUtnNXhHNHE4eW1Od0h3U2ZVTEhzX0NfTV9CS3M1RzdzS0thdGg5RDJOMXQyemNuTEpnYkNXZDg0MWhnWmM5eU5NRGxSZFFNdnpQV3dhcGY1ckFDZjY5dXA1eXZCT1RMMW10c0JySkU1TE51Z3BOdE5WMzFPUnRUOFFYbWdVN3hscURERFBpbXVBcGlVei13M09OOXRXTVpwM2FkcG1VMWl3Y2FieEdV
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Ily guys
(Except the pedos)
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r/teenagers
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post
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r/teenagers
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCb1VUTmVGV2x3WS1tTF9FNTBXVlZyZ1Qwd3VrcW8zVVBVSmNqeU1fellBSnEyeUZkX28tb0JSNk5hcG1SamNielExZXdzVVEyeHFHMC1Jek9mUnJYLVd1OGdkSWdMSnFpcVpIOGVUX3ZyTFU9
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lES2doeW83YVRjZ2NWMGlxdWs5VVBzaGw4WmpjUnBra21SVEM5enB2RktDRjJ5YlpTVEd3V0tpZWZTWS1PNVRFMmhzTVdTTHNNLTAyLVMwc3ZLT1JUN2FoZVdsbGlwVjAxTmlsTFdBUVdzYXdWZmtRenlaME8wa1lUSldlUmVKTzY0bmtIMjJOa3JIYkFHYVFKV3Zsa2FBNjRkUFYtSEZlRkxZMWZ6SV8wTk5jPQ==
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Hello everyone,
I would greatly appreciate if you all could fill out my survey. All in the USA are welcome to respond, including students, parents, teachers, administrators, school security, school board members, government officials, and other.
The survey is anonymous.
I ask that you all think deeply about the questions and your responses so I can obtain the best results.
Survey: [https://forms.office.com/r/msMSWxcq8W](https://forms.office.com/r/msMSWxcq8W)
Thank you!
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r/teenagers
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post
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r/teenagers
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCS3NxNmM3eEtSTURwdzB0UkJvcjg2U3h5cU1xTWdsdmYzSXRuQVhKSjBnRl85TzBmN0dPRXpKeFBEbWFQN1FRUllvTmRxY1dYX3ZQZldpb2FhS1VOLUE9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lERGZaZzUwZ1oyclhzdnB5Z3JGc19SM0E0eWVMQXhPT0VpTW4wTzZxVUQySUkzb0JySlVFUGdHTWdVNFR6S3JLWXZQUTExQVlQdHRGWTh5aE1EU1Y2b1JXcVFUaXRkVEVkcjkzVjRFRW5JRnVjcUV4dkk4aTNWcVlkQ1hqbW8zb253WlBOUDJKS2Qwdkw5eDducDBZME5SQmhrd3p5eW1FeHF0TVBsRXlzU2hVPQ==
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It's clean but not deep clean, clean you know.
And hi
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r/teenagers
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post
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r/teenagers
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCZm1lNlBiT29zQjJwdFZuR25lVVA2LXV2MU1hdElHYWNkdnQ3NHMwYnBDWXZ6YUVweDFWQ1dTZHhhUTIwOV9FSk1UVjl3ZG1SVnNuOHgxUW81cjNtNmc9PQ==
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lETWxGdEJybG4zZ1JVb25EWmVMOVZfQ0hpbGZrcjkwQmlzdVhxWkZ5RE5QUHdHb04tcDNWTDRpX1k3eW94WEZOUXNIOXRKbGk3WEd4XzlTbjJrWXpZWHZVQlV0T3U4d09JcldfN3NSdnlUYXlUcW5JOF9MRkliaE5wQ2RNZWhsQ0YxamV4cnZyejBTVEk5cnU1OWktbTVMRXowOURPbV9YUjhRUE5IUnlXR19Xa2RIUC1zUUdkTzRQeEF4ZGpSclJ3
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because heavier= more fuel used
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r/teenagers
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post
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r/teenagers
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2025-02-28
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lCRC1wOHdHeDVsVXp0Zmh4MWxaNGxObDl3X1BkWWZORXZYaFF4aDFmMWttX3RacmxFRjV1NXhiQWE5MWw1S2lhYTBhWnFSMXVtR0dvbnc2aU9MS1dZRzNDSHd3Tml5T3lzaVZ4X3M2UTZIemM9
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Z0FBQUFBQm53V3lEX1FRd2FWcTFIeDRoUGVqNmVHek1lWWpHWnpMbDRndXozYTdSbEpnUk1DeC1WenFIbFdTUU4yTnhFdkxqV3VmSGRGQVNMSDlCaTdhRU1Uc3NqT0dibW1GSjRZSkt1TXlXVjJjUS1TMTZ6RDZ5TWJ4Z1dzdUlFOUdMVlNHRjJBajdubkdJZE5TMW8zQnVvMVJkZW1HQlE4Tl9nME5UaEhtWmFJaUMxTW94REdqcHN1bWdIRDVqeWJ4WGl5cGhweHByM2tPU09VeWFUcTNYNmRtTjJoM0plQT09
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