<span class="bbc_u">THE FOLLOWING IS SECURITY CLEARANCE INFRARED--CLEARED FOR ALL CITIZENS.</span><br/><br/>May I be of assistance?<br/><br/><strong>Sure.  Why don't you tell me how this game works?</strong><br/><br/>I'm sorry, citizen.  That information is not available at this time.<br/><br/><strong>What do you mean, it's not available?</strong><br/><br/>You are not yet a Troubleshooter.  Therefore your security clearance is Infrared.  The rules are security clearance Red.  YOu are not cleared to know the rules.  At your service.<br/><br/><strong>Huh?  Most games are real eager to teach you the rules.</strong><br/><br/>Not Paranoia.  In Paranoia, you don't know who your friends are.  You don't know who your enemies are.  You don't know how your equipment works.  You don't know the rules.  One thing you know: everyone is out to get you.  Stay alert!  Trust no one!  Keep your laser handy!  Ignorance and fear; fear and ignorance.  Those are our watchwords.<br/><br/><strong>The back cover copy says something about a computer.</strong><br/><br/>The Computer is your friend!  Trust The Computer!  In Paranoia, you play a Troubleshooter in the service of The Computer.  You are The Computer's trusted agent.<br/><br/><strong>How did I get to be a Troubleshooter?</strong><br/><br/>You turned in a friend for treason.  They were executed for betraying The Computer.  The Computer rewarded you for your loyalty.<br/><br/><strong>What is a Troubleshooter supposed to do?</strong><br/><br/>Your job is to root out all traitors and execute them.  In other words, to find trouble...and shoot it.<br/><br/><strong>What's a traitor?</strong><br/><br/>A traitor is an evil and malevolent human who has betrayed his friend The Computer and seeks to destroy The Computer, humanity, Alpha Complex, and life as we know it.  Traitors must be unmasked and destroyed.<br/><br/>All mutants are traitors.  They are genetically imperfect.  They have no place in utopia.  They must be eliminated.<br/><br/>All members of secret societies are traitors.  They belong to organizations not officially sanctioned by The Computer.  They conspire against The Computer.  They must be destroyed.<br/><br/>By the way...you are a mutant.  And a member of a secret society.<br/><br/><strong>I'm a...mutant?</strong><br/><br/>That's right.  All Troubleshooters would be eager to unmask you as a traitor and execute you.  You work with many Troubleshooters.  All of them carry powerful weapons.<br/><br/><strong>Let me get this straight.  I'm a traitor.  The punishment for treason is death.  My job is to hunt down and kill traitors.  I work with other people, who have the same orders.  All of them want to kill me.</strong><br/><br/>Not exactly. All of them want to kill traitors.  They don't know you're a Commie mutant traitor...yet.<br/><br/><strong>And if they find out that I'm a mutant, they'll kill me?</strong><br/><br/>They'll try.  Of course, if you convict them of treason first, then they will be executed, and you may survive.  Of course, false accusations of treason are themselves treason.<br/><br/><strong>So I want to prove tht they're traitors before they can prove that I'm a traitor.  And if I don't...I die.</strong><br/><br/>Precisely.  Watch out!  Traitors are everywhere!  By the way: dead traitors cannot testify to their own innocence--or against you.  It is better to shoot first and ask questions later.  Stay alert!  Trust no one!  Keep your laser handy!<br/><br/><strong>Are you sure this is going to be fun?</strong><br/><br/>Certainly, citizen!  Of course it will be fun.  The Computer says so, and The Computer is your friend.  Can you doubt The Computer?  Doubting The Computer is treason.<br/><br/><strong>No!  No, certainly not.  If The Computer says this will be fun, then this certainly will be fun.  Only a Commie mutant traitor could believe otherwise.</strong><br/><br/>Excellent, citizen.  You're getting the idea.  You have just been promoted to security clearance Red.  Welcome to Paranoia.  Please proceed to the Character Generation Thread and await instructions.