Esther gulped a little as Mike walked away, giving Olivia a stern look that was meant to convey respect, even gratitude, but probably looked like something altogether different.  Mike was a mess.  Esther doubted that he would've listened to her without Olivia present.  With as angry as he had been, she was surprised he hadn't just pushed either of them away.  But Olivia was his balm, which was a lucky thing for everyone involved.  Esther quietly logged that away, wondering for an instant just how deep those two had once been.<br/><br/>That wasn't the reason for the gulp, though.  For as much as she wanted bargain, there was still the feeling that she was in over her head.  She wasn't ready to do this, at least not her way.  And it didn't look like 'her way' was going to matter much right now.  Mike's fuse wouldn't hold out long enough to ask her questions, and Billy was too excited about the deal to care if she did.  He was laughing too much, maybe even celebrating.  It'd be nice to think he was celebrating their ascension to whatever kind of tiny god Billy really was, but something felt very wrong about it.  She was attentive, as he explained the very simple terms in the way older children explained Santa to younger children.  Was that how far above them he was?  Was this really as basic to him as the truth about the Easter Bunny?<br/><br/><strong>..I don't care, and say 'I swear I will never tell.'</strong><br/><br/>Dear God.  She would have rolled her eyes if the rest of scene wasn't so serious.  His talk about wish specifics agitated her a little.  She knew what she wanted.  She was only half certain why, but she knew exactly what it was.  Even so, could she express it well enough?  How could such a thing be encapsulated into a single wish?  And what if she fucked this up?  These thoughts were taller in her mind than what Billy was telling her, until he danced away, nearly falling into the Bonfire like some sort of drunken tiny god.<br/><br/><strong>Be a brave girl and lead the way for once.</strong><br/><br/>That snapped her thoughts into focus.  She felt her jaw stiffen and her fists clench, as she suddenly remembered just how impossibly infuriating Billy could be.  Her thoughts flashed to Mike, his skin rippling with rage just a few feet behind her.  Maybe he<em>would</em>have an ally in her.  Esther took a deep breath, deciding to move this along before she thought about it too much.  Maybe that had been Billy's intent.  Maybe not.  It didn't matter.  She walked up to the straw man, taking a deep breath to ground herself, and to become conscious of the power around the effigy.  It was a disgusting figure, but there was an aura around it.  She wasn't trained to place such things.  She could tell it was strong, but it wasn't really like anything else she knew: a fact she contemplated as she exhaled, slowly.<br/><br/>In a quick motion, she bent down to the gas can and sprinkled a generous amount of the fluid in it on the effigy.  Billy said it was Holy Water.  Maybe, but she doubted it.  Then she held up her right hand and spoke to the effigy.  She had a mind-set that she fell into when making promises she meant to keep.  Her air was solemn as she uttered those childish words to this.. thing, in the middle of the night on a high school football field.<br/><br/>"I swear I will never tell."<br/><br/>At this point, she took a nervous look at the others.  Mike, trembling with rage and held here by some bizarre sense of duty.  Olivia, frightened but looking at her respectfully.  And Jason, standing in the back, patient and implacable.  She didn't really want to share this with any of them.  But then again, it wouldn't really matter.  If Billy wasn't conning them.. if this actually worked, she would be above all of them in a few short moments, and it wouldn't matter what they thought.  What anyone thought.  She'd be free.  Her body quivered with anticipation as she turned back to the effigy.  Free at last.  She was salivating for it.<br/><br/>If Billy was conning them, well, it would matter even less.  It'd be a good ending, really, to a pretty pathetic life.  With that, her nervousness was gone.  Esther moved forward until she was locking eyes with her reflection, in the mirror dangling from the effigy.  And she spoke, softly but aloud.<br/><br/>"I want life to be easy.  Easy enough to know that whatever I do, whenever I want to do it, and even if I'm not trying, I won't fail."  A short breath, and some piece of her soul echoed in her next words.  "I don't ever want to fail like Mom did."<br/><br/>It was a shallow, wicked thing to say.  But she meant it.  Freedom.  It meant not being afraid.