Just read your post Crimson, and I think the first big tip I can give... no one on E is going to care about language. Lol.<br/><br/>You can go ahead and say Cunt, Bitch, Fucker, Pussy, Ass and whatever else you want. :)<br/><br/>Also, and this is just me... but I sensed a little bit of Deadpool there, having the character talk to the 'narrator' or whatever you wanna call it. Lol. I'm not a huge fan of Deadpool-like writing, but you can totally go with that angle. :)<br/><br/>And then of course, there's always the punctuation and formatting stuff to work on... but that can happen over time. ;)