<em>First there was the infinate dark sea, cold and sterile untill suddenly, two dragons, man and woman, rose from the sea. Their names were Ceraleghangray and Cheitunturnray, and they took to the air on mighty wings and conquered the sky, and their flames lit their way. They saw that of all things, they were the wisest and most powerfull, and they were content.<br/><br/>They were alone for a time, untill suddenly, two elfs, man and woman, rose from the sea. Their names were Aenetasa and Isayielda, and they stared out into the darkness and saw the dragons flames in the distance. They created the stars to bring light so they may see, because they were proud and did not wish to ask the dragons for the secret of fire. They declared themselves king and queen of all creation. The dragons didn't much care for such posturing, they knew where the truth of the matter lay. And frankly, the creation wasn't much fun anyway, just an infinate stretch of water, the elves were welcome to it.<br/><br/>They lived apart from eachother, untill suddenly, two dwarfs, man and woman (one would assume), rose from the sea. Their names were Khazak-Thur and Thrushack, and they didn't much care for all this wetness, made their beards a right mess. Where they strode, earth and mountains rose from the sea, and the dwarfs rejoiced, wowing to stay clear of water as much as possible from this day on. The dwarfs mined the mountains and dug up great riches in gems and metal, and used them to create the most wonderous things. They built a vast palace in the sky, hidden among the clouds, and invited the other races to live there with them as Gods. They created a sun and a moon, and thereby also created night and day. The elves wished they'd come up with that, but were far to proud to admit it. Instead they lay claim to the day, since they had thought of it first you see, and the dwarfs saw no point in arguing and let them have it. The dragons were just happy to see where they were going without blowing fire all the time, and accepted the dwarfs invitation. In the exitement no one remembered to claim the night, wich would have terrible consequences in due time.<br/><br/>They all lived together for a time, with not much to do and started to become rather bored untill suddenly, two humans, man and a woman, rose from the sea. Their names were Arthur and Elizabeth, and they looked up at the palace in the sky with much wonder, and tried to find a way up there. When that failed, they started throwing small rocks at the windows, until they got some attention. The other gods, happy to finally see some new faces, invited them in for tea, and like the most horrible of guests, the humans never left. No one minded though, because the humans brought with them curiosity, an unknown concept until that time. They all lived happily untill one day Arthur finally looked down and saw the unpopulated and wonderous world below. He pointed and yelled the fatefull words: "I call dibs!" The others looked at eachother and found that they also wanted to posses the land below, because they had been infected with two other human qualities: greed and ambition. They all started arguing terribly, all of them presenting several reasons why the world should belong to them and no one else. The elves claimed that since they were the patrons of Justice they should decide what was fair. The others didn't find that very fair at all.<br/><br/>They argued for what seemed forever untill suddenly, two orcs, man and woman, rose from the sea. Their names were Crundld and Zhuythaya and they looked upon the world with wideyed confusion. They stumbled around for ages, marveling at what they saw, alone in the world, untill suddenly the Gods noticed that there were trespassers in what each of them considered their world. Their first instinct was to give the newly arrivals a stern telling off, until Aenetasa got a brilliant idea. Why not let the unbiased newcommers settle their argument? They brought up the orcs into the palace, clothed them and fed them, each god trying to win their favor by kissing as much ass they were possibly capable of (wich wasn't much, with Gods being a rather arrogant and superior lot). Aenetasa then explained the situation to Crundld: "Now listen here my good man, we were wondering if you could perhaps be so kind and settle an argument for us? There seem to be quite alot of oppinions on just who amongst us are most fit to rule, and most deserving, of the world we see below us. So what do you say, be a good sport and help us out of this pickle, won't you?" Crundld tried to wrap his mind around the whole idea. After a long deliberation, he spoke: "So what youze are tellin' me, is that all of you lot is bitchin' an' moanin' about who owns the world?"<br/>Aenetasa took some time to try to decipher that, and once he thought he understood what the big oaf was trying to say he replied: "Yes, that seem to be the essence of it. So what do you say old chap, who will it be? Who shall rule the world?" Crundld took one hard look on the world below, a world he had come to love as he had roamed through it with his wife. With a determined look in his eyes he gave his verdict: "Me!" He then proceeded to decapitate Aenetasa with a silver pastry dish.<br/>This suprising new turn of events of course causes some concern amongst the rest of the goods, but since the concept of violence still was in its infancy the Gods had yet to get a hang of it, and were unsure how to meet this new threat. Khazak-Thur suggested they would all sign a petition with the strongest phrasing possible, calling for an emediate end of all hostileties plus an appology, a petition they then would hand over to the orcs. But before Khazak-Thur could put his plan into action he was smothered by Zhuythaya wielding a fluffy pillow. The orcs then proceeded to kill of the rest of the gods in various amusing and inventive ways with different house hold items.<br/>But the thing about gods is that they don't usually stay dead for very long, and these ones didn't either, and by the time they returned they had gotten the hang of this new concept of violence. War raged across the heavens, and the Gods fell to the earth wrestling and grappling eachother, shattering mountains where they landed. This war raged for centuries with no one getting the upper hand.<br/><br/>They all fought without rest or delay for an eternity untill suddenly, a satyr and a nymph, man and woman, rose from the sea. Their names were Bacchus and Bambii and Bambii swooned over Bacchus and found his every move cute and sexy, and everything he said clever and funny. Bacchus was no ordinary satyr you see, no he was a bad boy, he had the leather jacket and the grease in his hair to prove it. Bambii clung to his arm like a band aid, so much in love, but not terribly bright the poor thing. Bacchus picked the lock to the palace, and when they found it empty they proceeded to fornicate in every bed in the building, wich took them the better part of a century. When they were done they started to wonder where the people that lived there had gone. What was the point of fornicating in someones bed if you couldn't tease them about it later? They decended from heaven and found the Gods still locked in their eternal struggle for dominance, and there seemed to be no way to get them to stop. At least not untill Bacchus whistled as loud as he could and yelled: "Oi! Wankers! Check this out!" He then lifted Bambii of the ground and mounted her for them all to see. The Gods were very confused and  intreagued by this perculiar behaviour, and stopped to watch the fascinating display of lust in front of them. After the lovers were done, they were showered with questions. What was it they were doing? What was it good for? Was it as gross and icky as it looked? Being the generous man that he was, Bacchus promised to teach them all about it, and then he mounted all the Godesses in front of their husbands. Afterwards the Gods shook his hand and gave him heartfelt thanks for "banging their bitches" as Bacchus had put it. They then had the worlds first Bacchanal that lasted for several centuries. And that is how Bacchanalia got it's name.</em>