Esther lazily blinked at the light coming through the window.  She was trying to piece together the wild dream she'd had, trying to hold on to small details as her dreaming mind faded.  She remembered a scarecrow crawling with maggots, making a wish, and laughter.  Joyful, pure, unrestricted laughter that even now made her smile.  Somewhere there had been an over-entitled red haired girl wishing never to be alone, and a feeling of attraction for a man.. a football star, that wished to punish people.  Then there was Band Boy, an expectation at hearing his wish, and then there was thunder, chaos.. explosions.  And she seemed to remember she'd been dancing in them, as though celebrating as the world burned.<br/><br/>No.  It wasn't that.  It was celebrating being invincible, even as it did.  The thought left her pondering for long moments, as though she should have been celebrating in a dream about this stupid world coming to an end at last.. but even the phrase 'stupid world' felt unnatural.  Unnecessary.  Even inaccurate.  She turned her head and looked outside, looking into the rundown quad of a dilapidated apartment complex, watching unsettling characters standing outside the doors, peering around suspiciously.  Yesterday, and for weeks before, she would have gone into a nearly poetic verse of contempt, waking up to a day that was too bright, in a hell hole, to spend the next 9 hours in idle slavery to an absurd system, before coming home to repeat it.  Today she felt none of that.  She was noticing that the unsettling looking character was watching a dog play nearby.  She'd never noticed that.<br/><br/>"I hate dogs.." she said, smiling at the animal despite herself.  Well, that much hadn't changed, anyhow.  She rolled out of bed, feeling considerably more refreshed and energized than she expected to feel.  On a whim, she drew back some fo the curtains that kept her room darker, taking in how it looked with the light in it.  What a dump, she thought, as she looked around at the clothes strewn carelessly around, and the drying bottle of paint on her desk she'd spilled sometime last night.  Oh, well, she'd have time to fix it, later.<br/><br/>When she came out of her room, she was dressed in a brightly colored sundress and a floral patterned red shawl, carrying her usual denim bag.  Her mother, working in the kitchen at something that resembled food, noticed her and whistled.<br/><br/>"Esther!  You haven't worn that since Murray and Minnie got married!  I'm surprised it still fits!"<br/>"Bellydancing!" Esther laughed, grabbing a slice.. no, a piece.. a<em>helping</em>of Mom's Morning Shut-up-and-eat-it, popping a bite into her mouth.  It was unexpectedly good, enough so that Esther's eyes widened and after a thumbs up she grabbed another.  "Are these M&M's?" she asked with her mouthful as she moved to sit down.  Her mother's eyes followed her knowingly, as she poured Esther a glass of juice and passed it to her.<br/>"So, did you tear the headboard off, or were you tied up?"<br/>Her mother had waited for her to take a drink before asking, and Esther involuntarily spat the whole gulp onto the floor, to her mother's great amusement.<br/>"Mom!"<br/>"Well, you said you had a date with the devil.  And it looks like he fucked the chip right off your shoulder.."<br/>"Mom, it wasn't like that!  It was.."<br/><br/><em>      ....I swear I will never tell....      </em><br/><br/>The words came back to her so suddenly that for an instant, she was certain it hadn't been a dream.  She heard the echo of the Name that Billy had called in her mind, as though her subconscious was reminding her how serious this was.  Dodging her own shock at this, she fell into a character roll, smiling nervously and looking off the the side, arching her shoulders.<br/>"Yeah.. actually, it was kind of like that."<br/>Her mother roared with laughter and began clapping.  Esther good-humoredly mentioned something about a noise ordinance, and moments later was wrestling with her mother to get her to stop chanting various forms of "My Daughter Got Laid" at the top of her lungs.  It was when she was piggy-backing trying to put a hand over her face that Esther realized she was laughing, honestly laughing, at several things her mother had done that she would normally have been resenting for days.  That was too much.<br/><br/>Esther got off her mother's back and went back to her breakfast so suddenly that even her mother had to ask if everything was alright.  Esther nodded, her insides fighting between this joy she felt and her terror at feeling it.  This wasn't natural.  It felt good.. great even!  Addictive!  But it was wrong somehow, as though her bitter little self was watching this other person she had become overnight, wondering who the hell had taken over.<br/><br/>Her mother was concerned, and sat down with her, asking what was going on.  Falling into a character once again, she told her she would tell her all the details when she got back, but she didn't want to be late for school.  She could see that last part made her mother worry, probably for the same reasons Esther was worried herself.  She went to the fridge, grabbed some of the hard boiled eggs she habitually made, put them into a bag with a little more of the Shut-up-and-eat-it, and waved good-bye.  Her mother smiled, and said something about bringing the Devil by some evening if he had a mind for an older lady.  The fact that this didn't make Esther's skin crawl, well, made her skin crawl.  For the first time in months.. hell, in memory, she left with absolutely nothing to be mad at her mother for.<br/><br/>The walk to school was a short bit of peace she usually used to ground herself.  But she was having a hard time.  Negative energy was easy to ground: you affirmed you didn't want to feel this way, and you let the energy go.  But this was joy.  She wanted to feel it, and letting go only made her feel more unlike her old self.  She caught herself staring at trees just to admire the contrast of the leaves against the sky.  But when she wasn't spacing out to explore her new self, she was trying to remember the dream.  It was getting fuzzy, but she could place the key players.  And the biggest one was Billy.  He'd know what was going on, and how to help her with this.  And if he didn't.. maybe some of the others would.  Band Boy.. The over-entitled red ha.. Olivia!  And she was sure she'd remember the football star when she saw him.  The name Golden Boy was all she could recall.  The dream was hazy.. only, it hadn't been a dream. Had it?  The memory was hard to recall.  She wondered, assuming the very likely but wholly illogical fact that it hadn't been a dream, then how the hell did she get home last night?<br/><br/>When she got to school, she was early.  There were masses of people standing around, idly chatting or what have you.  A few took notice of Esther, and she didn't quite realize that her body actually looked pretty good in this dress until then.  Her mind rattled off a disdainful comment regarding sex, which was a comfort just then.  But what had changed was when one of the boys, a geeky but tall and wirey guy named Alexander, scanned her body, she felt unusually gratified.  Enough so that she wanted to stop and see how long she could hold his interest.  Compromise.  She folded her red shawl into her bag, leaving her bare arms to the air... yep, still had his attention.  Okay.  Finding Billy.  Right now.<br/><br/>Before class started, she would be prowling the halls of the school, her thoughts a mix of worry about her new condition, and many, many instances where this feeling just took over.  While trying to contain herself, she found that the freedom made her inhibitions harder to maintain, like when Peter was showing off the results of his weight training in the hall.  She almost reached out to put a hand on his bicep..  Nothing too outrageous happened that morning, but if she hadn't been hunting for Billy, she hated to think what kind of fool of herself she would have made.  And it was strange.. she didn't really care if she did.  She just thought she should care.  That was barely enough, even for today.<br/><br/>"I'm in trouble." she said to herself, grinning in spite of herself as she floated through the halls, her brightly colored dress fluttering behind her.  "The best.. fucking.. trouble..<em>ever!</em>"