<div class="floatright">(https://farm8.static.flickr.com/7673/26911334061_6664baacfa_b.jpg)</div>Sir Pallam Rem (https://www.myth-weavers.com/sheet.html#id=1350847)<br/><sub>HP: 52/52, AC: 18, Perception: 0</sub><br/><br/>A bit more should be said about Sir Pallam's squire, Willem, since the author has so far neglected to give him a description or a brief history.  In appearance, the young man resembled Sir Pallam, in that he was blond and fair-skinned, with dashing cerulean eyes.  Like the knight, the squire was abnormally handsome, at least in relation to the commoner.  He possessed an air of superiority, too, which was wrought by parents that held familial lineage as sacred as the gods.  Sir Pallam could have been the young man's father, except that their sizes were so disparate that such a relation was, what the old men in taverns used to say, "a foregone preclusion."  While Sir Pallam was as large as an oak tree, Willem was definitively more compact.<br/><br/>Willem was a Brunelt, the son of a baron in some city too far away to make a difference in the desert.  But he was the third son of a family filled with healthy sons.  Political life was not his to inherit, and what he did genetically inherit did not make him suitable for monastic life.  So he set off to become a paladin.  Unfortunately, his short stature made him an undesirable squire to many a knight, and all refused his service, except for Sir Pallam.  Size was not important to the grizzled knight, but a host of things which seemed to be of some import to everyone held not a whit of importance to him.<br/><br/>For example, Sir Pallam didn't really cook his meals, because he just roasted everything over an open fire.  He never garnished his food either because the black char was enough to satisfy him.  So when Atsila said that she would cook the meat, Willem had to backpedal.<br/><br/>"Yes, ah, that is very nice of you," he started, but before saying that the paladin wanted the scorpion meat safely butchered, and not cooked, he was interrupted by another well-meaning person, this time Melody, who tried to steer the paladin away from eating the scorpion, but who had little understanding of him.  He was so focused on what she would say that he failed to notice her hand on him.<br/><br/>"Ah, Sir Pallam, these ones are awfully big, they're probably..." she said, and up until this point, Melody had not given offense.  In fact, Willem was hopeful that the little person could successfully get the oafish paladin to relent.  She could have said anything.  She could have said that it was poisonous, or unsafe to eat, but instead, she said that it was... "gamey."  The pallor on Willem's face blanched, and he could not help but do a face slap.<br/><br/>"... He actually likes gamey meat..." he murmured to himself.<br/><br/>But Melody didn't stop there!  No, she added a clincher.<br/><br/>"Hardly top-quality, I imagine."<br/><br/>"Oh no..." Willem murmured, a little incensed.  But before he could say anything, Willem was so startled by Melody when she slapped his butt that he jumped into the air.<br/><br/>"It is no matter," Sir Pallam replied.   "Our order believes that we achieve nobility through humility, my short and mischievous friend.  We must all accept the bounty of the gods as they are.  I am not proud enough to deny the gifts that the gods offer me, irregardless of their perceived inequities."