<div class="floatleft">(https://41.media.tumblr.com/5893f1b01a6da0d41e85e98234373ace/tumblr_nkrz84a9xa1tk4029o5_1280.jpg)<br/><div class="spoiler_container"><div class="spoiler_header" onclick="hideSecond (this);" role="button">Ridiculous Battle Costumes</div><div class="spoiler_body">(https://40.media.tumblr.com/1f7396d8557f91b38b9c152a3ea89869/tumblr_nkrz84a9xa1tk4029o4_1280.png)</div></div><br/><div class="spoiler_container"><div class="spoiler_header" onclick="hideSecond (this);" role="button">REALLY ridiculous battle costume</div><div class="spoiler_body">(https://41.media.tumblr.com/39ec3ef0d50e7aad6b92878b73ec1691/tumblr_nkrz84a9xa1tk4029o2_1280.jpg)</div></div><br/><div class="spoiler_container"><div class="spoiler_header" onclick="hideSecond (this);" role="button">WHAT battle costume?</div><div class="spoiler_body">(https://66.media.tumblr.com/042721445c9f939e336f43f5f76fe50e/tumblr_ob43ozVFH91utyn51o1_1280.jpg)</div></div><br/><div class="spoiler_container"><div class="spoiler_header" onclick="hideSecond (this);" role="button">Slacking</div><div class="spoiler_body">(https://40.media.tumblr.com/ce603a860215e641343bf782bec1727c/tumblr_nkrz84a9xa1tk4029o8_1280.jpg)</div></div></div><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 18pt;"><strong>Ogzi Thorn</strong></span><br/><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 11pt;">(AKA <span class="bbc_u"><strong><em>Derk the Destined</em></strong>)</span></span><br/>Half-orc barbarian <em>Adventurer!</em><br/>(Sheet (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheet.html#id=893730))</div><hr/><strong>Background:</strong>Some adventurers are born into desperate poverty. others are born on the battlefield. Still others are descendants of gods or dragons. Sometimes though, they are born in a nondescript village with a doula tutting nearby, because a half-elf and a half-orc loved each other very very much. In fact pretty much everything about Ogzi's past was pretty bland, aside from the fact he was unusually short for a half-orc (five-foot two!) and that it turns out he was pretty handy with an oven.<br/>He could have melted into obscurity like so many others, but<em>no!</em>That would not do for Ogzi! Having watched no small number of Adventures in his dozen-and-some years, he often fancied of his role in the affair. But alas, opportunity never seemed to rise, and he kept making a living on hte leavening of his loaves, and odd jobs, and other frustrating mundanities.<br/>Until he found the recruitment flier, gambled with people who probably don't take losing very well, and worked his hump off to get his Adventurer's license! Oh sure, it's taken a few cosmetic changes - Ogzi Thorn appears to the viewers as Derk the Destined, a barbaric tribesman from Lands Far Off™, in trademark horned helmet and random weapons (usually spiky!) but hey, that's<em>showbusiness!</em>Deep down inside, he's still the same old lovable Ogzi, right?<em>Right?</em><br/>Well yes, actually. He is. He's been in the business for over a year now, showing off his flashy moves, really<em>getting into</em>his role - even if, really, running around screaming with a spiked club and a horned helmet strikes him as a little racist. In fact that's why he's signed on to be a Dungeon Runner! Unwisely with hte same people he signed on to be a gladiator with, last year.<br/><br/><div class="spoiler_container"><div class="spoiler_header" onclick="hideSecond (this);" role="button">The Interview</div><div class="spoiler_body"><div class="quoteheader"><div class="topslice_quote">Quote</div></div><blockquote class="bbc_standard_quote"><div align="center">"Are you tired of living in <strong><span class="bbc_u">fear</span></strong> that maybe that <strong>HOUSECAT</strong> is going to slit your throat while you <strong>sleep?</strong><br/>Are you tired of earning <strong>one silver piece</strong> a day doing unskilled labor while <strong>all the <em>cool</em> people</strong> go out on <strong><span class="bbc_u">ADVENTURES?</span></strong><br/>Do you want to go out and earn <strong>THOUSANDS OF GOLD PIECES</strong> for <strong>HALF A DAY'S WORK?</strong><br/>Do you want to slay <strong>DRAGONS,</strong> bed foreign <strong>maidens,</strong> and <strong>plunder</strong> ancient dungeons?<br/><br/>If you said <strong>YES</strong> to any of these questions, you are eligible to be taken on contract in a local adventurer's guild <strong><span class="bbc_u">TODAY</span></strong>. For just 10 insignificant gold pieces each, Rygar &amp; Morvald Adventuring Guild Agency will set you up with a client and a sponsor to begin adventuring <strong>THE VERY NEXT DAY. Parties in excess of three members get a <strong>2 gold discount!</strong>"</strong><div align="center"></div></div></blockquote><div class="quotefooter"><div class="botslice_quote"></div></div>   "Oh <em>hell yes</em>!" Ogzi breathed. He opened his hand, looking at, yup, one silver piece. And he still had pretzel dough under his nail! He slipped the coin into his pocket and gnawed the hardened flour out as he stared at the flyer. Ten gold pieces wasn't <em>so</em> insignificant, really. But he could maybe sell his belongings down on the Eei Bay. And there was that gnome wizard whose ads insisted you didn't really <em>need</em> kidneys... Ogzi shrugged. He'd figure it out! There was a harsh ripping noise as he yanked the flyer from its place on the signpost... leaving half of it ON the post. "Shoot. That always works in the books..." He gingerly removed that half, too, and scurried off to see about financing his dreams.<br/><br/><hr/><br/>   Some dream. Here he sat in a stuffy waiting room. A shaky-looking elf had just gotten called in, leaving Ogzi next in line. After him... Ogzi turned to evaluate the competition... A gnomish man, fez cocked low to his brow, wobbling his head to make the tassel sway. Most unusually, the gnome wore a pork chop tied around his neck. The hobling stared, unnoticed, and was just about to ask, when the interviewer's door swung open and a voice called, "Mr. Thorn?" Shaken from his bafflement, Ogzi hopped to his feet and passed the elf as he existed, looking completely stricken. <em>Oh boy, what am I doing...</em> Ogzi had time ot wonder before the door closed shut behind him.<br/>   "Mr. Ogzi Thorn," the interviewer mused, her eyes on a form. Ogzi swallowed, watching the stunning half-elven woman as she perused. After a moment, she lifted a quill. "What is your profession, mr. Thorn?"<br/>   "Oh! Uhm, I'm... I'm a pastry chef, ma'am..." Ogzi started, wincing inwardly. Pastry chefs don't go on adventures!<br/>   "Mmmm. Pasty chefs don't go on <em>adventures</em>, mr. Thorn." <em>Damn</em>. She lifted her eyes up, then down to his height. "What brings you to my office, exactly. I didn't order any turnovers."<br/>   Ogzi fought the blush of embarrassment. "Well, ma'am, it was either this or I would have to gnaw my own leg off to get out of that job..."<br/>   The interviewer made a note. "Oh, <em>would</em> you... Well, that's something. It says here you enjoy... badminton?" an incredulous look from those ice-chip elven eyes.<br/>   "Badminton and dodgeball, ma'am. I mean, I didn't ENJOY the dodgeball, see, I had this coach, and he had a sack of wrenches, and every time we-"<br/>   "How many basilisks have you slain?" the half-elf interrupted, peering down her nose at the half-orc.<br/>   "B-beg pardon?" Ogzi stammered, nearly biting his tongue.<br/>   "Basilisks. Lizards, of a sort, that turn their foes to stone with but a look. How. Many. have. You. Slain?"<br/>   Ogzi stared, and cleared his throat. "Well. I once told off my Aunt Mazel after she got drunk and started a row on yuletide..."<br/>   "And is your aunt Mazel a <em>basilisk?</em>"<br/>   "Well, she kind of looks like one, in the right light? And she has this, you know, stare..." Ogzi shifted on his feet as the interviewer made another note on her paper. This was not going well.<br/>   "Mister Thorn, have you ever <em>held</em> a sword?"<br/>   "Lots of times!" Ogzi's chest puffed a bit, confident in his answer.<br/>   "Have you ever held one when you <em>weren't</em> checking it into the cloakroom for someone else?" Ogzi's chest deflated and he could only mumble a reply. There was another pause as she wrote more. "And what, oh <em>do</em> tell, do you think you could bring to our organization?"<br/>   "Oh! well! I was planning on taking a role as a paladin! I always wanted to be the big hero, you know, center stage, helping my party out, and..." Ogzi started ticking off one by one on his fingers.<br/>   "Have you ever considered being a berserker?" The interviewer lifted a golden brow.<br/>   "A bers... what? No, I've... Oh, how about a monk, you know, I could fly through the air with feet of fury and have wise sayings, like... hi<em>yaaa!</em>" Ogzi made a few chops and kicks in the air.<br/>   "Yes, but have you considered a life of a berserkergang?"<br/>   "What's a bers.. oh. A monk does not <em>berserk</em>" Ogzi huffed indignantly, seating his knuckles on his hips.<br/>   "Well, we have an opening for a berserker."<br/>   Well, that's just <em>great</em> Ogzi thought. He pursed his lips, and was just about to speak up again, when the blonde half-elf beat him to it.<br/>   "Mr. Thorn, you seem to have no qualifications whatsoever. You baked cakes, got bored, and now you want to run off and fight dragons as a paladin. Not even one - <em>one</em> basilisk slain!" She eyed him over, one brow lifting. "Strip."<br/>   "See, I was hoping to start on the bottom, get some experience and work my way up, maybe start with a skinny kob- <em>wait, what?!</em>" Ogzi's hands went to the buttons of his shirt, protectively.<br/>   "Strip. If you're going to get eaten by a grue - and it happens more often than you think - I want our viewers go get the most of their darkvision, if nothing else. And frankly," she tapped the sheet, "Your options are limited. Let's see what the viewers might have to look forward to."<br/>   A red flush burned beneath his green cheeks. For a moment, Ogzi hesitated... but you know what? This was show business. Swallowing thickly,, he began unfastening belts and unhooking buttons, shicking out of his (inexpensive) finery, ending with his undergarments shed atop that borrowed suit, both hands cupped as best he could over his groin.<br/>   For a long moment, silence reigned in the office. Finally, the half-elf reached over to touch the message stone on her desk. "Chloe?"<br/>   "Yes, Ms. Illivulliel?" came the voice of the receptionist though the magic of the stone.<br/>   "Cancel my two o'clock. Something... is coming up." The elf's eyebrow rose as well.<br/>   "Very well,. What should I do with Pork Chop?"<br/>   "Well, he's been there two days, a few more hours won't hurt him..." The interviewer lifted her finger from the device and smiled at Ogzi. "We may have an opening for you after all, Ogzi."<br/>   Ogzi gulped, and let his hands fall away.<br/><br/>   Some undetermined time later, Ogzi left the interview office with a spring in his step and a soreness in his back, and a license in his pocket (as a berserker, naturally...). The gnome was still sitting there, still watching his tassel. This time, Ogzi had to ask... "Hey, what's... what's with the pork chop?"<br/>   "I want to be a <em>werewolf</em>!" the gnome replied with a squawk, never looking away from his fez's tassel.<br/>   Today had been a strange day, and Ogzi pressed his lips together as he left the office, determined to not make it any stranger...</div></div><br/><br/><strong>Personality - Ogzi Thorn:</strong>Ogzi's a nice young man, really; he reads, he bakes, he writes and loves to dance, even (and he's pretty good at it, or so he's been told.) generally he's easygoing and friendly, though trends towards shyness in new groups or social situations - he's still not used to the "lifestyle" of an Adventurer. One development of his time "acting" though, is he's actually found some respect for his tribal heritage, however distant and diluted it might be - He's fiercely loyal and protective of his parties, both former and current, and while he'll happily laugh and trade insults directed at him, such bad attitudes towards his friends might get someone a foot to the groin.<br/><br/><strong>Personality - Derk the Destined:</strong>Clad only in a loincloth and the horned helmet of his savage ancestors, it's<em><span class="bbc_u"><strong>Derk the destined!</strong></span></em>Hailing from the snarling wilderness of the far north, he is a brooding, dangerous predator, a wolf given humanoid form! Hundreds of<del>skinny kobolds</del><strong>EVIL BASILISKS</strong>have fallen beneath his blades and bludgeons!<strong><em>SEE!</em></strong>him take on the armies of the Ghoul Lord Axenthertaupt!<strong><em>WITNESS!</em></strong>his rage unleashed upon those who would enslave his people!<strong><em>AWE!</em></strong>at the savage nobility as he stands alone and wounded to protect his fellows!<strong><em>WATCH</em></strong>him make his oiled pectorals dance for you!<strong><em>LOVE!</em></strong>as the fair elven maidens of the Golden River<em>thank</em>him for defeating the river trolls of ancient!<strong>DERK THE DESTINED</strong>- lover! fighter! Savage!<em><strong>HERO!</strong></em>This SUNDAY at The Arena of Elemental EVIL!<em><strong>SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!</strong></em><br/><br/><strong>Description:</strong>Some people have lost bets on what, exactly, Ogzi<em>is</em>. He's either very slender for a half-orc, or very, erm,<em>green</em>for a half-elf. Maybe he's a gigantic goblin?  Only being five feet and some inches tall takes some credence from his being a "Wildman from the savage north!" Most of<em>that</em>is, of course, show armor and gimicky war-paint (and some of the argument is due to his wearing loincloths in battle.) Underneath the armor, he's apparently inherited the best features of both heritages; large, bright amber eyes, set into an impish youthful face that is quick to smile, dotted with a few freckles, some shades darker than the rest of his green skin. A pair of pointed ears poke out from his mob of of dark hair. Even when not "On Adventure," he's taken to wearing light clothing, or as little as he can, happy to show off the physique his new lifestyle has gotten form him - sleek, athletic muscles on an agile frame, almost feminine in some respects, at least out of costume.<br/><br/><strong>Character on/offs:</strong>Ogzi needed money, and he knew some people, so he signed a form. It's not<em>too bad</em>really. it promises no death ("The Company is not responsible or liable if applicant fails to notice crocodiles, deathtraps, or lonely succubi") and specifically forbids the use of tentacle beasts (See pages 50-55 for exact definition of what constitutes "tentacle beast" and for exceptions to this definition.) One thing Ogzi insisted on was that there be nothing "gross, like, you know, poop." which the contract dutifully stipulates. (Again, "The Company is not responsible if applicant blunders into sewage lines, hog lagoons, or otyugh mating season. See definitions p.53")<br/><strong>Player on/offs: </strong>Toilet, vore, Pain, and the like are offs for me. Not really interested in M/M with this character, but he might go for M/H or M/Fu. Nonsentient bestiality or undead lovin' is a no. Tentacle monsters, unless super-sexy (by my arbitrary definitions) are a no.