TUP<br/><br/>So far so good. I think the sense of foreboding is well managed, the opponents are original and the context is quite immersive and fascinating. Like Robyn said, you don't pitch it too far in either the dark fantasy or high fantasy direction, which strikes a good balance (and does well to integrate the different 'feel' of each character).<br/><br/>HG and Robyn have been mainly concerned with the background detail (it's all very much over Eshalu's head for the moment), but I think that fits well with the character concepts we have chosen.<br/><br/>Your pacing has been good and you don't feel the need to explain everything immediately, which keeps (at least my) curiosity engaged. Your portrayal of the Saurians was definitely interesting and quite innovative compared to the standard "lizardman" tropes.<br/><br/>The only thing I can't comment on is the erotic content - though I'd say you shouldn't force it if it's not right for the plot arc at the moment. Your pacing has been great so far. I'd definitely been interested in seeing how the erotic twist develops (though I liked your detail of the courting Saurians!).