<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f1/4c/81/f14c81c573fe2faade44fef000391ab8.jpg)</div><strong>Character Name</strong>Gil Roseapple<br/><strong>Character location</strong>Dickstabbery at orcapalooza<br/><strong>Tagging:</strong>GM, Ye'me, Evri, Alrun<br/><hr/><br/>Gil sniffed as Ye'me seemed to ignore his question. Granted it wasn't a serious or important question, but Gil wanted the conversation. he was<em>about</em>to give the barbarian another elbow-jab, when, obviously, he was distracted by yea about thirty head of orcs.<br/><br/>Mean-looking orcs.<br/><br/><strong>Male</strong>-looking orcs.<br/><br/><em>Oh no</em>. "Orcs need better fucking hobbies," Gil snarled as Ye'me translated. "All day long, rape, rape, rape." He reached down to loosen his weapons in their sheaths. "Oh well, looks like it's fuck or be fucked, girls. Robes!" Gill called out to the man with the hat and robes and magical device who was not at all a wizard. "Robes! You dragged us out into this rain to meet these fucking orcs," literally, "You better pitch your skinny grey butt in or I swear to the rat god's fourteen teats it'll be the first knothole these green rodents stuff a nut into!"<br/><br/>He then cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled out,<em>"Morgack Nug'arr Hrumsh, imm numm-Roth helk-Nugmug!"</em>- Gil did not speak orcish but, as we've covered, he knows a great many profanities from a great many places. This one is akin to "I fucked your father's ass with a gnome's cock and he cried like an elf woman," which would be perfectly recognizable as a dire insult, a call to battle, and a formal greeting from one's mother.<br/><br/>That wasn't the only shot fired, oh no! Gil strode - stomped, actually - out to join Ye'me and Evri on the front lines. While Ye'me blathered and Evri threatened, Gil was much more practical. His hand darted from under his natty, tattered brown cloak (is that really a flour sack?) and with a CLICK-twang from the hand crossbow he had been concealing, sent a heavy-tipped barbed dart flying into the throat of one of the orcs. "We said<em>fuck you</em>!" And then the blades were out; a dagger and short sword, looking like they had been fished from a river a week after some terrible battle, then ground to wicked sharpness on street cobbles.<br/><br/>When battle was engaged - and after the insults and you know,<em>shooting them in the face</em>, the orcs were bound to attack - Gil fell into a low defensive stance. Despite the fierce grimace (Gil was actually crying, but in the rain and noise, who can tell?) he was no berserker. Oh, he fought<em>dirty</em>, and with a flurry of steel, but there was a sort of discipline ot it. Not beaten into him by time as a soldier or squire, but learned over all the times having to fight in alleyways against larger foes, armed only with bottles and bricks. the stabs to the groin and slices to knees and belly had a purpose; any orc that tried to push past the front line of warriors here was met with an angry badger-like attack, forcing it to either pull back or get torn the hell up.<br/><br/>He wasn't perfect; more than once a pair of orcs would team up and one would lure an attack and the other would just kick Gil away like a bad puppy... but each time, bruised and a little muddier, Gil would get back up and go back in, cry-snarling dire imprecations in the halfling tongue. Somehow, "brabdanary thillien billodaris romfanarn" doesn't sound scary to<em>anyone's</em>ears and may bring to mind silly stories about kooky old miners or something, but it seemed to be a favorite phrase.<br/><br/><div class="spoiler_container"><div class="spoiler_header" onclick="hideSecond (this);" role="button">battle</div><div class="spoiler_body"> The opening move is pretty simple - shoot a filthy greenskin in his face.<br/><br/>After that is what appears to be an accurate description of the tunnel fighter technique; you hold your ground, and anything that comes near you or tries to get past you comes out looking like what happens if you toss a pork roast into a wood chipper. Opportunity attacks without spending a reaction, it's so silly!<br/><br/>And of course you can't have a halfling fighting orc scenario without the Brienne-vs.-Arya puppy-kick. <br/><br/>Gil is of course crying as a free action the whole time because she does that when stressed, I've decided.</div></div>