"Further, this morning, local hero Superfan made the following statement to the public..."<br/><br/>Jimmy "Superfan" Smuthers, the city's biggest Metas fan, who claimed to have achieved his superhuman prowess through his pure love of baseball, was displayed on the screen, red-faced and shouting.  As always, Superfan was resplendent in his baseball cap and jersey -- which bore the autographs of every single one of the '92 Metas.  A bat was held over one shoulder, and multiple reporters were holding up microphones to catch his words.  "...AND IF THAT WISEASS SPIDER-TWERP HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THE GREATEST BALL CLUB IN MLB HISTORY, HE CAN COME SAY IT TO MY FACE!  YOU HEAR ME?!?"<br/><br/>The reporters looked faintly uncomfortable as they reappeared on screen.  They, unlike Superfan, had apparently made the connection between the last two stories.<br/><br/>"In somewhat happier news, an attempted robbery of the local Parris Bank branch was averted today by heroes Whiplash and Thundergirl."  A somewhat grainy video, probably from the bank's security cameras, showed a small posse of armed men in ski masks shouting and gesturing angrily with their guns, as tellers hustled to obey.  A few seconds later, a red-and-white blur shot into the room, and all the guns suddenly disappeared.  A slim girl in a blue-and-white leotard swooped through the front doors a moment later, lashing the surprised-looking crooks into submission with crackling bolts of electricity.<br/><br/>"Furthermore, a short-lived hostage situation last night was defused by the brave actions of the South Suburb Sentinels.  Noted domestic terrorist Instigator took the family of record mogul Richard Norwood captive around 7 PM yesterday, apparently seeking ransom, but was apprehended shortly afterwards without harm to the hostages."<br/><br/>Of course, everyone knew the South Suburb Sentinels, even if they were small potatoes compared to the Earth's mightiest heroes like Apolemos and the Galaxy Knight.  The Sentinels included Hardware, a brilliant young man with a half-mechanical physique; Freezeout, a young girl with the power to generate cold and ice; Deshi, a talented martial artist noted for his failure to hurl quips at the villains alongside his friends; and Heavyweight, a bulky, tough young hero known for his great strength and sheer unstoppability.