Spike seems to like a bit of it all, though the rough and hard treatment best of all.  He spread his legs for her, giving her access, continuing to stroke her hair with one hand, the other gripped hard in the bedsheets so he can maintain control over himself.  His head is back, his eyes closed, afraid if he looks down at her he *will* lose control, grab her head and thrust, and he can't afford to do that.