His fangs, all three sets, were fully extended, and scales were joining the crystals on his shoulders, energy swirling about him as he fought back. "So, you would advise that I do NOTHING that has a risk? Getting out of bed in the morning has risk of falling out and snapping your neck. That infernal abyss is the only place where the time spent against knowledged gained ratio surpasses anything else I could be doing. I am not, and never have been, one to sit back and let fear of the future compromise my actions. Before I got to that level, I had no real evidence that it was so dangerous that I would use what I will admit was a suicide move.<br/><br/>But no, that isn't the real issue here is it? Or rather, that is AN issue, but not the real one? You see me as some sort of surrogate for the crew you failed, that by somehow purging me of V'elen and all other beyonder taints in existence, you can prove to everyone, and maybe even yourself, that you did not fail on that ship. Well, bad news Jashah, if it gets to the point where survival of this multiplanarverse means I have to feed myself, or any of you, to an opponent, I will. This war is far more important than some xihuuli like me, and while I will hate myself more than I do now, impossible though it seems, I will still do it. I gave up my right to happiness when I woke up after my genocide of the orcs, and since then I have wanted nothing more than to DIE. Death, an end, oblivion, a way out, game over, valhalla, the afterlife, a way to pass this worthless burden I never WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.<br/><br/>THERE I FUCKING SAID IT. ARE YOU HAPPY MIND HEALER? ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY THAT I ADMITTED THAT I AM STILL SEARCHING FOR SOME CAUSE, SOME BATTLE, TO DIE IN?<span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;">ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY THAT I AM STILL MERELY A HUMAN, LOST IN A POWER STRUGGLE I CAN BARELY UNDERSTAND, LET ALONE MANIPULATE TO SOME DEGREE OF A BETTER OUTCOME?</span><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 36pt;">ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY, THAT THE AVATAR OF SO MANY SIDES IS BEING PULLED APART, TRYING TO PLEASE TOO MANY?</span><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 48pt;">ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY?</span>"<br/><br/>He was in a full rage, nearly twelve feet tall, muscles bulging as he instinctively reached for a form that would try to make his mind and heart stop screaming and writhing in pain, scales, crystals, fangs, claws, something between a tainted half dragon and beyonder hosting full dragon. He stared down at her, his chest heaving claws shredding the table as he forced himself to stay still, completely unaware that multiple death squad units had quietly slipped into the room behind him, and had leveled there weapons at him, not firing, but more than ready to get the companions out by throwing their own lives away. Rather like their creator, in many ways.