Not bothering to look at Rogal again I left walking slowly and calmly to the door. Closing it softly I ran. I raced through the empty halls stirring the air so much as i passed it sounded like a strong wind was whipping through the school. I ran for the forrest and tried to outrun the memories and feels I carried like a weight. For the first time since being released I wished my life was simple again. Reaching the forrest edge in seconds I dove into the Forrest making to much noise and not caring that anyone who wanted to follow me could my thoughts were only of getting away for a time. I didn't stop till I was at my little pond deep in the forrest. I sank to the ground and tried not to cry.<br/>It was unreasonable feeding should be as natural as breathing but it felt like I'd been ripped apart. "it's probably because your first successful time was with a human bound to another" I told myself "and your so totally messed up because your blood is old and was repelled by the thought of sharing him." I tried to reason with myself but knowing the facts of my condition didn't change the feelings.<br/>I picked a few leaves out of my hair and rained in my emotions telling myself I needed to speak with Eva tell her I'd never have Rogal again and to tell him to leave me alone in that regard. It was all to strong for me. I was too territorial to share apparently. I thought grimly of the feral desire to claim him and in consequence challenge Eva my friend. "Maybe I should leave?" I asked the silence of the night feeling in termoil but I knew I wouldn't I had no other home and I needed the control I'd learn here. I'd already learned so much this year about myself and it was only the second day.<br/>A small spark of happiness bloomed in me and I smiled brightly and stood up and twirled around laughing "I didn't kill him" I told the nigh twirling feeling happier then I had in years "the rest of the world can go to hell in a hand basket if I can just control myself I might be able to have a normal life." I told the night feeling more myself again.<br/>Calming but still smiling I resigned to handle Rogal and Eva in the morning tonight I'd find an empty dorm room move my stuff there and sleep. i decided suddenly feeling tired from the emotional drain of the day. Smiling serenely I walked slowly back to the castle.