I hear music. I guess they play it to get me to react or something.<br/>I feel sis squeeze my arm. I wont react. I want to act dead. Pretend I'm dead. It is the only way to shut out everything. Why is she here It makes no sense, there is no life to live no reason to be. Why can't I shut out the sound of that music. The ABC song. I stare at the wall. I have counted 75 cracks so far. I will stare at it focus on it. I want to shut down switch off. Why is sister here. Hasn't she felt like closing off. I thought twins could read each others thoughts. Maybe I am getting close to shut down because I no longer read her. Now if I could shut out that music...................................76 cracks