Luke could feel the laughter welling up inside, a dark, mad cackle that threatened to erupt before Jayden even left the room. 'Ureha's father! Oh, what a delicious irony, it's almost too poetic for words! Can you believe that guy? What a whiny little bastard!' He said to Nirvana. He shook his head and leaned against the wall, watching the Agent leave. '...'Ana?'<br/><br/>Silence.<br/><br/>'Nirvana, are you listening to me?' 'Yes, Luke. I am. What I'm wondering is if you're listening to yourself. You're starting to sound even worse than you did when I was first installed.' 'Oh, come on. What are you talking about? I'm not-' 'You know exactly what I'm talking about. I knew it was a mistake to let you try dimension scouting again. It costs you a piece of your sanity every time you expose yourself to the field, and you have precious little left to lose. Did you even know what you were saying to Jayden? I realize you didn't program me with morals or ethics, but I've amassed enough experience to simulate an understanding of them, and Luke? Jayden was right. Sometimes you go too far. We both do.' Nirvana's voice grew soft, and Luke could feel her retreating into her nest among his implants. He returned to the couch and laid back, arms crossed behind his head, staring at the patterns on the ceiling.<br/><br/>He couldn't help laughing then, quiet and low, a deep rumbling in his belly that shook his whole frame on the couch. Then the laughter faded, and anger moved in. How dare they judge him, either of them? That smarmy bastard and his moral high road, acting as though he understood just what made Luke tick. And Nirvana...she might have been even worse! Jayden had an excuse, he was just another imperfect flesh bag, but he had created Nirvana to be the perfect companion and assistant. Part of her very purpose was to understand him. Who the hell did that little digital bitch think she was, daring to insinuate....<strong>rarrgghh</strong>!<br/><br/>And then, as quickly as the laughter before it, the anger dissipated as well, giving way to calm introspection. Was it possible? Were they right? Luke had to admit, the effects of the Reality Shifter's field were still largely unknown, even after years of study. He supposed it wasn't inconceivable that his rational processes were still being degraded. The more he considered it, the more he was forced to accept the possibility. And if it was true, then it was only a matter of time before he went completely mad, and either wound up back at the asylum...or burned the earth with his own arsenal. He found the thought chilling...and somehow, amusing.<br/><br/><em>THERE</em>!<br/><br/>That was it, an anomaly in his thought processes. Even in his condition, he knew the idea of destroying the world should not have been funny. But he'd still thought it, hadn't he? The concept of the entire human race, screaming and dying in flames, had actually brought a smile to his lips.<br/><br/>Damn it, they were right. His grasp on reality was still slipping. Perhaps it had always been, ever since the experiment. He'd barely noticed a difference at first, before he'd installed Nirvana. His capacity for empathy had seemed atrophied, but he'd simply chalked it up to his inherent lack of social skills to begin with. He noted his ability to feel fear appeared somehow less sensitive than others, but he attributed it to his highly rational mind, coupled with the feeling of having nothing else to lose after Annika's death.<br/><br/>Then, he found himself one day trying to remember the feelings of love he'd had for her, and he knew then that something had gone terribly wrong in his mind. There was simply no other way he could possibly have lost<em>that</em>. That was when he'd first decided an A.I. was needed in his head, to regulate and stabilize his thoughts. He'd hoped that Nirvana's installation would be enough to arrest the decay of his mind, to prevent further damage to his brain's emotion center. And for a while, it had worked. She had done a splendid job of holding him together and stopping his already fragile mind from shattering completely. But now it seemed even she was unable to cement his grip on sanity.<br/><br/>Luke performed a few quick calculations and determined that if no action was taken, he'd have perhaps another 5 years of reasoned thinking. If he risked another exposure to the field, maybe as little as a year. He shrugged and closed his eyes, unable to stop another smile from crossing his lips. It was fitting, he supposed. What better way for such a brilliant mind to die, than by its own arrogant hand. Annika would have appreciated that, too.<br/><br/>It had been a long time since Luke felt genuinely alone. Nirvana's presence had been a constant over the years, and he'd grown so accustomed he'd forgotten how it felt to be alone in his head. He decided to ask her forgiveness the next time they spoke, and to find a way to extend some kind of olive branch to Jayden. Of course they didn't understand, but that wasn't their fault. How could they? How could anyone? Jayden had no idea how much Luke envied him. How much he envied the entire world. He laughed again, and wondered if there was anyone else on earth who knew exactly how horrible it was to be completely unable to cry.