WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN<br/><br/>Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.<br/>Dogs miss you when you're gone.<br/>Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.<br/>Dogs don't criticize your friends.<br/>Dogs admit when they're jealous.<br/>Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.<br/>Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).<br/>Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.<br/>You can train a dog.<br/>Dogs are easy to buy for.<br/>You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.<br/>The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.<br/>(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)<br/>Dogs understand what no means.<br/>Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.<br/>Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.<br/>Dogs admit it when they're lost.<br/>Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.<br/>Dogs mean it when they kiss you.<br/><br/><br/><br/>HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE<br/><br/>Both take up too much space on the bed.<br/>Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.<br/>Both are threatened by their own kind.<br/>Both mark their territory.<br/>Both are bad at asking you questions.<br/>Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.<br/>Neither does any dishes.<br/>Both pass gas shamelessly.<br/>Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.<br/>Both like dominance games.<br/>Both are suspicious of the postman.<br/>Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.<br/>Neither understands what you see in cats.<br/><br/>(http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w33/HisGrasshopper/myspace/thpuppy.gif)<br/><br/>HOW MEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS<br/><br/>Men only have two feet that track in mud.<br/>Men can buy you presents.<br/>Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.<br/>Men are a little bit more subtle.<br/>Dogs have dog breath all the time.<br/>Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.<br/>And the number one reason dogs fall short...<br/>It's fun to dry off a wet man ! (If you're a woman that is !)