Confucius says “fuck my life; fuck it right in the ear with a cactus”. I am seriously regretting that Silent Hill marathon I got sucked into that one time ‘cause younger me thought Heather Morris had a cute ass. (Yeah, yeah, I know, the Scissor Man is, like, Clock Tower. Cute chick, creepy weirdos with massive weapons, survival horror puzzle-fests.)<br/><br/>I haul back just enough to make him commit to the pull, then I do something that nobody sane would even think of trying—I relax into it, using the momentum to throw his strike off target, then sliding around his ugly gw<em></em>ailo ass and then under the desk on my way down.<br/><br/>And wouldn’t it be just a crying shame if he forgot to let go of me? Head, meet desk. Heh