<div class="quoteheader"><div class="topslice_quote"><a href="https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=308675.msg15058126#msg15058126">Quote from: Mature Desires on 04-09-2019, 13:33:55</a></div></div><blockquote class="bbc_standard_quote">Hi everyone, <br/><br/>I'm sorry everyone for being away (though not sure if anyone noticed lol) it's been a crazy long weekend full of work and dealing with my depression has been hard. I've been thinking about this post for a few days now. It's been even harder to find the effort to write and contribute. Writing was once of the few interests I had that kept me feeling good and being able to create characters and stories. Now I just feel like it's a chore and I'm so behind all the time with posts. It's also been very challenging doing all my posting by phone (I don't have a computer to use outside of my work one that email my posts to myself and upload through my phone. <br/><br/>This website really showcases some amazing writers and all of you in this group certainly make me feel that I have to really push myself to post at the quality I see here among all of you, it truly is amazing to see and read, you all have such amazing gifts for words! This is a wonderful group of writers with some very interesting characters. I feel maybe I should have upped my game when creating my character Cleo to make her more appealing and with more depth so she has more to write off of.<br/><br/>I think through all this rambling I'm struggling to see how I can continue to enjoy this group RP. I know everyone would say "do what you need to do" and "take care of yourself first" but I feel bad leaving everyone waiting on me to post and contribute. I don't feel that's fair to the rest of you all that can post more frequently and see the story moving along, jeez I don't think Cleo has even finished Day 1 technically and I didn't even get time to post a reaction to the competition, totally my fault, but it's also showing to me how diffi ultimately it is for me to be able to stay engaged and caught upon what's going on. I don't know I guess I'm at a crossroads. On the one hand I do enjoy staying here and reading the stories and trying to contribute(I know Capone has put up with my flakiness long enough, I'm sorry!!!) But I also have to recognize where I'm at and maybe walking away from E and the other site I RP on is in my best interest. I can't keep stressing myself out about the posts I haven't created yet and making people wait (I know I hate waiting). <br/><br/>So through all of this I'm wondering if people have struggled with this? If so how have you dealt with it? If you haven't what words of advice can you give to me to sway me in one direction or the other (staying vs. Leaving?) I want to do what's best for the group and I want to know where everyone else's expectations lay, since I've said I hate making people wait on my posts and I have to be real I can't do daily posts like some of you (so envious lol).<br/></blockquote><div class="quotefooter"><div class="botslice_quote"></div></div><br/>So you've already gotten enough replies regarding this, but given that I was named. XD<br/><br/>Firstly, I never minded the wait. I understood real life had you busy, and while I'd like to think I tried to plan ways to go about future events without demanding you post too frequently and could be easier on your schedule, I apologize if the opposite were true and I only put more pressure on you. It's a tough balancing act, making sure someone feels included when their circumstances make it so easy for them to be excluded instead, yet not applying too much pressure on them. So if I've contributed to Love Island being more of a chore, I'm sorry.<br/><br/>But now that we're here, I know what you're going through. I was experiencing it with another group game. In truth, I understand the feeling so much that I had decided group games weren't my thing and that Love Island and Yushu Academy would be my last efforts after having left Dark Times. Despite having characters I enjoyed writing and other players I got to meet for the first time, I had just... lost all joy in Dark Times and felt that I needed to leave. I'm actually<em>incredibly shocked</em>by how much I've come to enjoy Love Island, but really, it's a testament to all of you and to Mel. There's a secret sauce in this game that I could sit here and pontificate about, but that's beside the point. The point is that, if this game is a chore, then I agree the best thing is to pull the plug and parachute out.<br/><br/>And that goes for any and all stories that are no longer joyful. Once something is a chore, you have a possibility of salvaging it, but I have found under most circumstances it is better to retire that character and/or story and to move on, now wiser and a bit more understanding of yourself and your capabilities.<br/><br/>In the end, the choice is yours, and I will gladly communicate intentions between Devon and Cleo. If you choose to leave, then I understand and hope that, perhaps one day, we have the option to write together again.<br/><br/>I support you regardless of your decision.