The vintage police cruiser, what model it was the driver had no idea, lazily turned into the road in front of the new carwash. The occupant was Officer Cornelius Edward Rotherfort IV: Esquire, MBA, &Etc. (he liked it when people used his full name and all his titles). Officer Cornelius was bored. A few dastardly villains who dared to drive two miles over the speed limit had been the only entertainment so far today. If he did not find something to justify his existence, he would be forced to go back to the local Dunkin' Donuts for the third time. When his father offered him a job as a cop, he figured that he would spend more time karate-chopping criminals and less time being bored. Why couldn't he live in a city with actual crime rates? Then he could beat up muggers like Officer Bruce Batman Wayne.<br/><br/>As the bored bourgeoisie slightly scanned the surrounding bountiful businesses, he saw a scandalous sight indeed. Low-class proletariat prostitutes in bouncy bikinis! At a car wash of some type. This was simply dreadful. Officer Cornelius's first thought was that his patrol car was dirty. He should have it washed somewhere, since the dignity of the law could hardly be upheld with muddy equipment! But not here, this business was in violation of Public Indecency regulations! Why, Code 4-96 Subsection B clearly stated that any baring of a woman's naval area within 50 yards of a public road was punishable with a $25 fee and two days of incarceration! (As passed in this city in the Year of Our Lord 1834). So what if no one had enforced the law in a   little over a century? Regulations were regulations! Besides, such arousing displays as was currently writhing their disrespectful, insufficiently clad,<del>super hot </del>, err, immoral, bodies around the filthy vehicles on the lot no doubt contributed to a general moral decline. What was next? Sex in the streets? Children unsupervised? Businesses open on Sundays?<em>The complete breakdown of society?!</em><strong>Death and disaster!</strong><strong><em> Pot smokers allowed in public parks!!???</em></strong>He had to do something. Now.<br/><br/>The young officer parked his car in a nearby parking lot and strolled over to the carwash, trying desperately not to stare at the delicious female forms on display. He shied away from the girls, looking instead for whoever was in charge of the place. He hoped it was a man. Surely that psychologist had been exaggerating when he was diagnosed with gynophobia, among several other things, but he was sort of uncomfortable with women. Especially half-naked ones. "Officer Cornelius Edward Rotherfort IV: Esquire, MBA, &Etc." he addressed the first free individual he found. "Where might I find the owner and facilitator of this modern Sodom? He is in violation of several revered regulations."