<div class="floatleft">(https://www.mediafire.com/convkey/4c50/ek74xe84agd1axk6g.jpg)<br/><div align="center"><strong>Courtney</strong></div></div><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 12pt;">I finished getting dressed, and look at at myself in the mirror. What I see staring back at me ... it's sad. Can't function in public, can't function in private can't function hardly at all. Depressing. What would the old me have done? Cracked a joke? Rebuffed her advances but stayed in the tub? Taken her up on it? No clue. Probably the latter. <br/><br/>The old me looked like fun, from what I've read, and the pictures I've seen. Where is <em><strong>that</strong></em> girl? She's not in the mirror. Is she in there somewhere? Hiding? Waiting for the world to make sense again? Will she ever feel safe enough to come back out? *sigh* Depressing. I walk back over to the jacuzzi and look at Jaclyn.<br/><br/>"Don't apologize, Jaclyn. If I thought about it, I'd probably be flattered. The thing is, I've been drinking, you've been drinking, we were both naked in the tub ... It's just a recipe for bad decisions." I tilt my head back, eyes welling up a bit. <br/><br/>"I can't make anymore bad decisions!" *shaking my head* "Steffy's all I got ... The only good thing to come out of all of this. If I lost her because I had a moment of weakness ..." I clench my eyes shut, and tears start streaming down. "I couldn't do it ... I couldn't go on..." <br/><br/>*deep breath*<br/><br/>"It's nothing you did ... I'm just a mess. I think might just head home."</span>