<strong><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;"><span class="bbc_font" style="font-family: georgia;">Lost someone I barely knew</span></span></strong>(blog for March 20, 2017)<br/><br/><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 10pt;"><span class="bbc_font" style="font-family: verdana;">Today was not a good day. It started out with a simple attempt to wish Maple a happy birthday. She barely acknowledged my well wishes when Min-Joon interrupted. He wanted to ask me out to the dance. He was so anxious and angry waiting for my response…it was strange. On one hand, I like girls… never looked at a guy in that way. On the other—I know what it’s like to be the Asian kid, new to a school that no one likes. <br/> <br/>I said we can go together as friends, not a date. Then within an hour I’m trying to save his life from some Lovecraftean possessing force. I failed him. The one person that reached out to me…as rough around the edges as he was…and I failed him. I thought I did everything right, started his heart prayed to heal him—all that healed were his physical wounds. My prayer didn’t bring him back from the edge of blackness just fixed his bruises and cuts. He was an empty vessel—ripe for taking over again.<br/> <br/>I thought I was ready. I’ve been training from the time I was six…and yet the first time a human life is at stake the enemy shows me how wanting I still am. I’m angry….and disappointed in myself. I should have done more…should have been faster. What kind of monster hunter am I? How much have I embarrassed the Kami and the heroes I look up to? <br/><br/>I need to get out of here….need to strike back. I’m not feeling very polite right now or like following the rules. Find a nest of them. Burn them all. Cleanse the area with fire. I’d need to practice against the real thing from now on…understand their capabilities better so surprises like Min-Joon didn’t happen anymore. <br/><br/>As much as I try to emulate Lord Hachiman and Lady Amaterasu I always felt it was more likely I’d end up like Lord Susano-o, the unwanted sibling cast out of heaven sent to fight demons and dragons. <br/><br/>Enough of feeling mopey, I’m off to face the vampires. More later once I’ve either gotten out of this mood or have learned something useful. May the Kami protect me for I put my life in their hands.</span></span>