Onion News intro (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrSaDI6m4Bc#ws)<br/><br/><br/>"Good morning and welcome to Action Headlines. I'm Rachael McLafferty, subbing in for Clifford Baynes, who is suffering from a chronic case of the Mondays. Our top headline of the day: After five long years of construction, the world's first orbital elevator is almost ready to be unveiled, Action Headline's own Adam Thompson has the full story, Adam?"<br/><br/>"Thank you Rachael. It's being called the biggest step forward for humanity in space since the Apollo 11 launch back in 1969. The project, known as "the Tsiolkovsky project" started back in 2253, named after the Russian Scientist Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, who first came up with the idea back in 1895. Today, the Tsiolkovsky is entering it's final steps, as the construction team only needs to finish inspecting the elevator for all possible hazards, before the elevator makes it's first ascension. Earlier today, I had the privilege of talking to Barion McGreggor, who was the project lead, about his time working on the elevator, here's what he had to say."<br/><br/>The TV would flicker to the appearance of an old man, clearly in his seventies or eighties, who spoke in a deep and gruff voice.<br/>"Well, one of the first problems we encountered was the issue with the high levels of radiation in the atmosphere, far too much for any normal person to undertake. However, we were approached by Arondight Electronics, who said that they would be willing to provide us with an artificial intelligence work force for when the radiation levels got too high for humans to work in. Thanks to them, and the working machines that they provided to us, the Tsiolkovsky project was able to be finished right on schedule. So I'd like to thank Arondight Electronics for their support, as well as the help of each and every working man that contributed five years of hard work into making this dream a reality. Words cannot describe just how much of an honor and a privilege it has been for me to be a part of this incredible, incredible project."<br/><br/>With that, the camera went back to the newscaster.<br/>"As you can see, a lot of passion and work went into making this elevator a reality. And I think I can speak for all of us at Action Headlines when I say that I can't wait to see this thing up and running, as a testament to just how far humanity has come. Back to you, Rachael."<br/><br/>"Thank you Adam, if you're interested in learning more about the Tsiolkovsky project, Action Headlines will be running a 2 hour long, commercial free, documentary taking us from the initial conception of the elevator, all the way through construction, and finishing off right where we are today. We're going to be cutting off for a quick break, but when we come back, we'll be talking about the deadly airborne disease that you could be contriving right now. Stay tuned."<br/><br/>...........................................................<br/><br/>Mira was never really one for news, but even she had heard about how the orbital elevator was almost constructed. Considering how big on this sort of thing Beth seemed to be, judging from a few of their conversations in the past, Mira immediately called her up. Of course, she also had to make arrangements for the date today that Mira would be taking Beth on. This would be bran new territory for Mira, to say the least. If Beth picked up, Mira would smile happily, tilting her head off to the side as she spoke in a gentle voice.<br/>"Did you catch the news this morning?"