Dukey drove the short distance down the road at a moderate pace, just under the speed limit. He waved politely at truckers passing him and flipping him the bird. Carefully watching the street signs, he almost didn't see the bear in his path. It lumbered off into the woods that bordered the highway, and Dukey could swear it gave him the finger, too.<em>Curious</em>, he thought.<br/><br/>There it was...Maple Run Lane! He turned smoothly onto a dirt road and followed it a ways, til he got to the farm, and pulled onto the shoulder. He got out and inhaled the aroma of the grasses and flowers in the area, humming to the tune of "Thank God I'm A Country Boy", not knowing that's what the song was, but liking the way it sounded.<br/><br/>He began the trek up the driveway to the house, noticing a few things wrong with the scene. The first was the buzz of a chainsaw...from<strong>inside</strong>the house. The second was an open barn door, and the third a donkey roaming free, munching on the carpet of green contentedly. He slowly approached the animal, stepping in a pile of droppings, and quickly grinding his shoes into the ground to clean them. His good work pair, no less. He sighed softly and reached with one hand to the side of the donkey, stroking slowly, as he scratched behind the ears with his other hand. "What's your name, buddy?" he inquired, well aware that he was only speaking to himself. The ass wouldn't answer. When he was satisfied that the beast was tame and gentle, he hopped up onto its back, quickly sliding off the other side. He tried again, and was successful in seating himself properly. He began to guide the donkey back to the barn when there was a shriek from the building ahead, and the noise of the chainsaw did not change. Dukey looked to where he heard the ruckus, only to realize he had the perfect view, through a window, of Clara naked, preparing for her shower.<br/><br/>He stared a moment before wondering whether she was in danger from some chainsaw-wielding intruder, and quickly dismounted and closed the barn door, ran to the front door and knocked, only to have it open at his touch, the knob nowhere to be found. He called out, "Mr. Klutz? Clara? Everything alright in there?" and when the chainsaw did not cease, cautiously entered. He looked around slowly, not wanting to let his presence be known, and grabbed the icepick he saw set alongside the door.<em>For self defense, should I need it</em>, he assured himself.<br/><br/>Sensing no threat, he placed the pick down again, and took the receipt out of his pocket, and the pen he always had handy. He found some scratch paper, and wrote on it:<br/><em>Ms. Klutz - you left this behind, thought you might want it for returns. - Dukey Pookie.<br/>PS - On my way to my Mom's. Call my cellphone if you want to. (123) 555-3141</em><br/>He left both slips of paper on the table and left through the broken front door, walking back to his car.