<br/><strong>Getting to Know Your Mate – Education , Woo’ing and Marriage</strong><br/><br/>As mentioned before...Uchiamas are all set up with marriages at birth.   In all educational facilities (there are those for Uchis and those for Yamas), there is a class called Matrimonial Education, or ME.  ME basically is where one studies on her mate.  Her birth and interests are learned first, and pictures are given.  An Uchiyama spends years drawing from all the pictures she gets on her mate.  After 6 years of education, they write letters talking about themselves (no questions are allowed).  An uchiyama studies these letters intently, and must write reports on their findings.  By the time the two meet, they know each other quite well.  (It’s not uncommon for some of these letters to be quite explicit in content, thus driving the mate to craziness with impatience.)<br/><br/>When the two first meet, the Yama, as custom dictates, goes down on her knees and places her hands on the floor (cowtowing). She then says "Mataki pogami wataki..." *translation-"My soul is your heart now"* She keeps lows and awaits for the Uchi to do her half of the act.  The Uchi's now cowtow (same as what the yama did) and introduce themselves, and say "Ishima wagao imi" translation - "No honour is better than shining in your naked eyes"  These are the acceptance of marriage between a couple, and everyone does it regardless of station.  Even royal Uchis and Yamas  who are engaged to commoners perform this...<br/><br/>During courting (the time between being allowed to meet - which is given in writing by the three sisters and is usually between the ages of 14 and 17 for these girls - , and the actual wedding), the two lovers will spend a lot of time dating...going places and talking..alot. LARGE gardens are spread throughout the planet....Even smallest towns having at least 1 or 2, for this purpose....Fiancés will talk and talk in these gardens, reading poetry and singing to one another, followed by kissing and stroking, but never going all the way, per se.<br/><br/>The marriage ceremony is a big deal with lots of food, and stuff.  But the ceremony is VERY short.<br/><br/>The couple stands before a high priestess, who acts as representative of the three sisters.  Both are all dressed in white.  When the wedding music is stopped, the priestess begins the ceremony by spreading her arms wid apart, with her eyes gazing up far to the sky. She then says  "Katomano, Mother of every single life on this wonderful planet. Please yield to my entreaty and give this two children of yours the divine allowance to be a pair, a unity."<br/><br/>Next, she repeats this in old Lespall, then crosses her arms, resting them on her chest.  A silver tablet is brought in, carrying the symbols of each of the known goddesses.  The high priestess takes it and shows it to the waiting pair, and explains the signifigance.<br/><br/>"These symbols show the 5 children of our Mother.  Take them,so the Mother can look right through them deep into your hearts."<br/><br/>The Uchi carefully takes one after another, laying them into the yama's opened hands.  The yama turns around to her mate, so that the two can hold the 5 pieces together.   Eventually,  the divine symbols begin to glow brightly, sending warm waves of love throughout both of the Uchiama's.  The glowing lasts for about half an hour, and ends abruptly.  When the two Uchiamas open their hands the 5 pieces are gone and the priestess takes a hand of both of them and looks up to the sky again.<br/><br/>"Oh great Mother, thank you for your judgement. As all can see, you have no doubt in allowing these two children of yours to become one in unity. And so is your wise and loving judgement made."<br/><br/>She then states"<Uchi name>, <Yama Name>...the great Mother bids me to inform you that you are now one for life."  Two rings suddenly appear in the hands the priestess, who offers one to each of the Uchiamas.<br/><br/>"Take these gifts of Katomano and place them onto your partners finger, to show all your vow to belong to your beloved forever."<br/><br/>When the two do so, they may kiss, and the marriage is sealed.<br/><br/>The family and friends will continue the celebration for the night on the behalf of the couple, who will disappear for the night themselves to create their first run of babies.<br/><br/>A few notes on married life.  Uchi's and Yama's each have control over various parts of a relationship, but are both considered equals in the eyes of society.<br/><br/>Uchis are usually the dominant ones, and often preside over matters such as Work<br/>arrangements for both partners, and place of residence.  However Yamas have complete control of the money and also make most of the decision in regards to the place of education of the children. The Uchi and Yama more often than not though, learn to discuss until a unanimous decision is reached, since there can be no hard feelings in a household. Ironically, Uchi's RARELY ever question their Yama's decision, feeling this to be rude and bully-ish.<br/><br/>Finally, married Yama's prefer to keep their heads below their Uchis. SO if an Uchi bows, a Yama will too, if for no other reason then to keep her head lower than her lovers...She will do this in public and in the home.  Uchis, for their part, treat their Yama like royalty.  Wife abuse is next to nil, since doing anything negative is considered blasphemy, and continued abuses may get one ostracized quite quickly.   A married Uchi feels NOTHING is too good for her yama, and will spoil her rotten from the time she first meets her, til the day they pass on. She gets her allowance of money from her Yama, and ironically spends most of it on her Yama.<br/><br/>They also spend tons on their mothers.  There is a special day to celebrate Uchi fathers, and no doubt children love their fathers, but there is a SPECIAL signifigance placed on mothers. And Uchis are almost to the point of worship to their mothers, bowing fully to them always. This is why, when a Yama dies, the ceremony for the mother is so elaborate and ornate it is amazing, and the Uchi children are in the lead crying loudly as they bid farewell to the woman who gave them life.<br/><br/>In short, married Yama's are reverred greatly.  However this does not mean Uchi's are not loved. They are, and All Yama's love their Uchi and fathers unconditionally, its just Uchiyamas tend to place special treatment on those who give birth to them.<br/>