<div class="floatleft">(https://78.media.tumblr.com/bd040b7ee06e8bd83420093f2678a6ae/tumblr_oyav3jSR4b1utyn51o2_r1_540.png)</div><strong>Name:</strong>Fnicket Tiffwilliker<br/><strong>Location(s):</strong>Market Square, the First Adventurer's Inn<br/><hr/><br/><strong>"Step right up, have a look, find the cure for what ails you!"</strong>announced the little top-hatted gnome in the market square. She brandished a slender wand like a showman's baton, stranding atop a stool in front of a small folding table bearing an open attache full of vials and tiny bottles. A sign with fancy script read<em>"Professor Tiffwilliker's Fine Phials, Potions, and Philters; tonics and tinctures for health and joy! (no refunds)"</em><br/><br/><strong>"You sir, why the frown? Lost a lady love? Is your guildmaster treating you like a serf? Mother-in-law visiting for the weekend?"</strong>She gave a sympathetic pout and nod.<strong>"Why not have a lick of the old Dragon's Tongue, eh?"</strong>she flicked her wrist and a bottle of crimson liquid appeared in her hand.<strong>"Five silver, it'll perk you up and the old hag will never know the wiser!"</strong>She gave the fellow a broad smile as money changed hands.<br/><br/><strong>"Professor Tiiffwillicker's tonics aren't <em>just</em> for those under the weather!"</strong>she called out, rolling her hands before her before tossing more vials into the air, juggling them in a slow arc.<strong>"I've got something for everyone! Hair loss, hangover, gout, colic, and the heartbreak of psoriasis! Two for one special, heartworm treatment for your dog, and earworm treatment for that annoying song you heard this morning!"</strong>One after another the vials she was juggling landed in their proper place in the attache.<strong>"Buy five, get a mystery potion half-price! Balance your humors, leaven your bread, <em>and</em> polish your silverware with my limited-time Rust Monster Rarified Medley!"</strong>A wave of her wand sent a vial of amber fluid into the hands of a nearby patron.<strong>"They're selling like hotcakes folks, and <em>that one</em> even tastes good on them! I'm only here 'til three!"</strong><br/><br/><strong>"What's that miss?"</strong>she asked a pretty young human who had come over to speak to her. Fnicket's smile turned into a sly little grin.<strong>"Well, no, I've got no love potions, <em>but</em>..."</strong>she pulled from her sleeve a narrow crystal vial, the glass made of bands of clear and green and leaned up to whisper quietly, close to the girl's ear.<strong>"You take this, and you dab a little bit of the Nymph's Caress on the little lady,"</strong>a glance down at the woman's skirts meaningfully<strong>"And he'll be putty in your hands. Or iron in your forge, if you prefer..."</strong>She gave the lass a saucy wink.<strong>"Six silver for the vial, but a sample personal demonstration is free..."</strong>her bright eyes met the girl's with a sultry little smile.<br/><br/><hr/><br/>Fnicket came down from her room, a little flushed but happy-looking. A full coin purse and a hot date to boot! Not bad for selling these rubes a load of hot sauce, strong booze, and mint tinctures. They got a drink and a show, so she didn't feel the least bit guilty over it. She did feel a little tired though, human girls always had so many rounds in them! She made a relaxed little sigh as she sat at the table with the others who seemed new in town. When the beers were brought over, she produced a flask of her own, adding a dribble of whiskey to the mug, and raising it in a toast to the others.<strong>"Looks like we're going to be the next big thing in this little town! Whose kitchen should we clear of kobolds first? I refuse, by Garl's left nugget <em>I refuse</em> to go rooting around for boar livers again!"</strong>