<strong>~ Sasha Dearing, First Officer - in the Captain’s quarters Aboard The Gamble - at Eavesdown Docks on Persephone ~</strong><br/><br/>Her tall frame sprawled on Griff’s couch, Sasha methodically massaged her temples with her fingertips, drawing in a long deep breath, then slowly releasing it through softly puckered lips. It had been almost a year since her family had been massacred in a ferocious Reaver attack, and the horrific anniversary was weighing heavily on her psyche.  Sasha may have survived the slaughter that annihilated her entire family, but she most certainly did not escape unharmed. Her deepest, most festering wounds were not physical; and although her body had fully healed, her emotional scars were as yet still healing, reshaping her into somebody different than she had been before.<br/><br/>The emotional devastation she had experienced from having everyone she loved violently ripped from her had almost killed her as surely as the gruesome physical injuries had almost cost her her life. The only way she had managed to find a way through was to fixate on thoughts of vengeance, and to vow never to get hurt like that again. In a ‘verse filled with infinite things beyond her control, she focused on what she believed<strong>was</strong>in her power to control. She had been taught a harsh lesson: she was powerless to prevent her loved ones from coming to harm. Vowing to keep someone safe was a dangerous illusion, an impossible oath to pledge.  But, if she never let herself love someone again - that would be an effective way of keeping safe from that unbearable pain. Sasha convinced herself that the only way to guarantee she would never again experience that heart-rending angst was to never let herself love.  The only thing she could truly control was her own heart, and those awful, unspeakable months ago she had made an oath, a promise to herself; she had vowed to never love again.<br/><br/>Continuing to breath slowly and deeply, clearing her mind of the dangerous attraction that had set her off, the tightly coiled tension began to ease from her body. Slowly her pulse calmed to a more even keel and the tight ball of anger in her gut lessening to a more manageable level. Sasha began to relax into the cushions of Griff’s couch as she waited for him to finish washing up.<br/><br/>After a few minutes in the shower Griff shut off the water, and she heard the bathroom door opening, followed by the soft padding of his bare feet as he reentered his main quarters. When he didn’t say anything, Sasha slowly opened her eyes to look at him.  Standing before her as she had just minutes ago imagined, was a dripping wet Griff, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Sasha swallowed hard, past the sudden lump in her throat.<br/><br/><strong>“This is not a gos se piece of fei-oo.”</strong><br/><br/>A twinge of guilt hit her as she heard the hurt tone of his voice; she knew she bruised people with her anger - emotionally and physically - and she often choked down the bile of bitter self-loathing after hurling an unwarranted outburst toward someone close to her. As Griff apologized and explained Sasha listened quietly, her stomach churning and the tension returning in force at his warm and caring words.<br/><br/>After Griff had rescued her from the Reaver attack and saved her life, Sasha had been infused with gratefulness.  Since that time, when she hired on as First Officer, Sasha and Griff had spent countless long hours together and bonded over many a close-call and adventure. Over the months together she found her respect and appreciation for him had continued to grow, and an alarming fondness had begun to slowly creep into her heart - along with an undeniable attraction. The warmth and closeness she was beginning to feel around him was especially dangerous, and she felt a desperate need to kill it before it killed her.<br/><br/>When Griff sat next to her on the couch, his bare thigh brushing against hers, his hand gently massaging the back of her neck and softly telling her “I need you”, it again became all too much. Springing to her feet she turned to face him, clenching her jaw and grinding her teeth as she struggled with her composure. Licking her suddenly dry lips, she jutted her chin up stubbornly, refusing to succumb to her emotions again. “Captain...I’m sorry. It’s just...I...I’m....damn.”  She took another deep breath before continuing. “Yes. Yes, I’m with you - of course I’m with you.”<br/><br/>Raising a trembling hand to smooth over her hair she restlessly paced across the small space, reverting to the safe interchange of First Officer and Captain. “I know how to deal with Ferret, don’t you worry. I appreciate Si coming along to back me up; I know I can count on him. You go get that engine part, grab us our new guy and more ammo. I’ll brief everyone on their duties before we depart; maybe we can have them all group in the cargo bay before we head off on our separate ways, give ‘em the rundown of what’s what. Sound about right?  And...we’ve been out in the black for a long spell this time around; I think the crew’s earned a night of R&R. I’ll have everyone report back at the ship at 0700 tomorrow morning. See you down at the cargo bay in a few?”  She paused, waiting for Griff’s reply, her hand resting on the door handle.  Just then someone knocked on the Captain’s door, and her posture instinctively reverted to a defensive position in her startlement.<br/><br/>Opening the door Sasha was treated to the sight of their devastatingly handsome co-pilot, who appeared a bit flustered and who simply stood there for long moments with a somewhat befuddled look. When wearing heels, Sasha was a little taller than Vincent, so as they stood facing each other her intense blue eyes leveled their stare from a little higher position than his deep forest green eyes. “Kinkaid!” She snapped her fingers sharply in front of his dazed eyes as she spoke. “You gone 5150? Captain’s got no time for a tea party; I need you to go fetch Mae and the pair of you better be ready for briefing in the cargo bay in five. We’re gonna need for the two of you to rustle us up some goods planetside a’fore you head off to play.”  When Vincent didn’t immediately turn in about-face to carry out her instructions, she grasped his shoulders firmly and turned him around, nudging him back in the direction of his and Mae’s quarters. “Gan mang!” she demanded.  Turning to take a last look at Griff to make sure things were okay between them, her expression shuttered, Sasha nodded her head toward him as she departed his cabin, closing his door softly behind her.<br/><br/><br/><br/><em>Gan mang = Hurry, make haste<br/>5150 = mental (as in a “mental case”) </em><br/>