My eye brows drew together as Goodfellow spoke he made it sound like I'd been fighting against the currant and saying I had a choice all at once it was irritating. I didn't have much of a choice in my life, now or ever. The choices I had I took and with my defiance in mind I was tempted to drop the brush cross my arms over my chest and tell him bluntly I had no intention of changing. The idea was appealing in more ways then one.<br/><br/>Indecision plagued me. An oddity to be sure and I actually thought it out. 'Owner' I knew never would have raped me. I could deal with any kind of physical beating he could dish out but rape scared me. It represented the last thing about me that was untouched and completely mine. The idea that I could lose it scared me and stayed me for a moment.<br/><br/>I stood there holding the brush, brushing my fingertips through the bristles, looking at the mandala and thinking. I admired the mandala and let my normal personality reassert itself. Rape was scary but I would survive, just like I survived the last 10 years. I wasn't going to let fear help them turn me into one of those subservient girls I loathed to be. "No" I said stiffly setting the brush aside and straitening my spine. "I won't help you destroy something beautiful, it's one thing for it to fade away and change naturally, it's quite another to destroy it and I'm not going to help you in that regard." I said knowing he'd pick up the subtle underplay to me words. I wasn't going to help him as he tried to mold and change me. I didn't care if he saw it as idiocy to fight back I didn't fight for 10 years to back down to some deep voiced guy in a skirt.