I appreciate the skill and stamina of soccer players and I do enjoy watching soccer highlights, but otherwise I cannot understand how spectators can watch entire games.  I find soccer to be the most un-watchable of all sports.<br/><br/>There is simply not enough going on.  Occasionally there's a goal, and occasionally there's a player flopping around like his leg was amputated when all he did was trip on himself just so he could draw a yellow card.  And there's the clock, which counts up instead of down.  Oh, look, time is up... and yet... they are still playing?  "Oh, that's injury time."  What, they can't afford a clock that can be stopped and resumed?  Geez.  And do the officials use instant replay at all?  These players are making millions of dollars and they still play like they're in a third world country.<br/><br/>On the opposite end of the spectrum is hockey.  Hockey is awesome.  Even in a low scoring game, there is constantly stuff going on.  Get the puck in the zone.  Get your guy in front of the net.  Take a shot or pass it in front of the net.  The guy has the puck?  Go ahead and crash into him.  You're supposed to hit the guy if he has the puck, not avoid him.  On defense, clear the puck out to the sides or out of the zone.  There is no out of bounds because there are walls.  Time is stopped occasionally, but substitutions are done on the fly.  You got a penalty?  Get off the ice - your team is going to play short-handed and your opponent has a higher chance of scoring.  Things getting too rough?  Drop the gloves and punch each other for a minute or so.  And the trophy is a gigantic cup that gets passed around from player to player, like it has been for generations.  Hockey rules.<br/><br/>Gridiron football is meh.  Although there's 60 minutes of play time, there really is only about 11-12 minutes of actual action.  But at least the players are engaged in some kind of physical action against each other, whether it's a tackle or a block.  I hate that it's called football, because then it has a connection to soccer, which sucks, by the way.  John Cleese is right about the commercials thing.  Gridiron football is made for commercials.<br/><br/>Basketball is also meh.  Okay, fine, you can't hit a guy who is shooting.  But foul shots?  How about short-handed play?  Along with walls instead of lines.  That would be awesome.<br/><br/>When I was in college, I was friends with a couple of girls who played rugby.  They were pretty scary.  And hideous.<br/><br/>Women's college volleyball is the only sport that comes close to hockey.  Tall, slender babes jumping, diving, rolling and patting each other on their firm butts after every point.  Yum.<br/><br/>