RIO<br/><br/>Hands on hips I regarded Goran with mild surprise. He was a brute of a man and could act the bull in the china shop easily, like he seemed to be doing now. I wasn't entirely sure how well wired together his brain was. The idea of offering these holiday makers work in return for beer sounded like his usual nonsense. Maybe Ms. Andrews had tried to make a gorilla one day and had failed and produced Goran instead. It could have been worse. She could have produced a second-hand car salesman.<br/><br/>I noted the young man's response of obvious distaste (<em>'Fuck that', indeed...</em>) and tried to calm things.<br/><br/><strong>"Hey everyone. I'd like you to meet Goran. He's Swedish which explains a lot. He might seem a little stupid at first~"</strong>I continued cheerily,<strong>"~but once you get to know him you'll find out he's really a total knob-head."</strong>I leaned close to Goran and whispered quietly,<strong><em>"Play along, 'kay?"</em></strong>I hoped to God he'd understand because if he didn't I might be about to find out what it felt like to have my head torn off and jammed up my own ass.<br/><br/><strong>"Isn't that right Goran?"</strong>I patted his arm, like you'd pat a pet T-Rex. I turned to our guests,<strong>"It's fine, we call him Goran the Gorilla. He's harmless and damn useful to have around."</strong><br/><br/>I decided to go for it, if my death was imminent at least I'd be going out in style. I grinned at Goran and play-punched him gently on the bicep which was a bit like play punching Ms. Andrews car.<br/><br/><strong>"Let the nice people go to their chalets Goran, you can do your King Kong bit later, hm?"</strong><br/><br/>Playing him up to be a brainless hick might just save the situation. Or I could discover the joys of auto-rectal visual examination, either way it'd be an interesting afternoon.