Church Ladies With computers.<br/>They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with computers. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:<br/><br/><br/>The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.<br/>--------------------------<br/>The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'<br/>--------------------------<br/>Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.<br/>--------------------------<br/><br/>Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.<br/>--------------------------<br/>For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<br/>--------------------------<br/>A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..<br/>--------------------------<br/><br/>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..<br/>--------------------------<br/>The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.<br/>--------------------------<br/><br/>The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.<br/>--------------------------<br/>This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.<br/>--------------------------<br/>The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.<br/>--------------------------<br/><br/>The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.<br/>--------------------------<br/>Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.<br/>--------------------------<br/>The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>They made me laugh, I thought I should share :D