<span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>GLOSSARY</strong></span><br/><br/>Here's a glossary, to start with. It will expand as the game starts and medical terms start flying.<br/><br/><strong>arrhythmia</strong>= irregular heart rate<br/><strong>bounce</strong>= An unsuccessful<strong>TURF</strong>attempt whereby a patient is<strong>TURF</strong>ed straight back by the receiving department. Reason enough to<strong>BUFF</strong>charts properly. See below.<br/><strong>BUFF</strong>= To make a patient's chart look extra suitable to<strong>TURF</strong>them elsewhere, for instance by highlighting symptoms that will attract the interest of a different department, e.g. surgery. See<strong>TURF</strong>and<strong>bounce</strong>.<br/><strong>CJD</strong>=<strong>Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease</strong>= a human variant of Mad Cow disease, an<strong>encephalopathy</strong>. Very bad, causes incurable madness and death. Rare.<br/><strong>encephalopathy</strong>= a brain disorder. Serious (duh!) Comes in many, many varieties and degrees of severity and commonness.<br/><strong>gomer</strong>= GOMER = Get Out Of My Emergency Room. Chronically and seriously ill senile patient, severely demented, who keeps seeming to be in mortal danger but who doesn't die, as per LAW #1.<br/><strong>gomere</strong>= Female<strong>gomer</strong>. See above.<br/><strong>gomertose</strong>= The condition of being a<strong>gomer</strong>.<br/><strong>LOL in NAD</strong>= Little Old Lady in No Apparent Distress. More common than male variant. A LOL in NAD is an old lady who checks into either the clinic or the emergency room, worried about an extremely minor or nonexistent condition. If said LOL is unnecessarily hospitalised and subjected to aggressive treatment of her minor or nonexistent condition, she may develop into a<strong>gomer</strong>with time. However, if nothing else, the difference is that a LOL in NAD can go home after seeing the doctor.<br/><strong>LOM in NAD</strong>= Little Old Man in No Apparent Distress. See above.<br/><strong>pleural effusion</strong>= fluid in the chest cavity (where it shouldn't be)<br/><strong>stat</strong>= immediately, right now. From Latin<em>statim</em>.<br/><strong>tachycardia</strong>= an unhealthily fast heart rate<br/><strong>TURF</strong>= To transfer a patient to another department so s/he is no longer ones problem. Essential task for successful treatment, as it allows one to do as much nothing as possible.<br/>