The sound of automatic weapons fire from outside distracted Paige from the dilema.<br/><br/>"Sarge? We got uglies commin'" Someone called out and she went back to work.<br/><br/>"Right, Stern, take a detail to the right flank, I'll get one of the bridge crew survivors to open the seal there - or you blow the fucker. Flank the bastards and get to those cocoons. Dust get set up at the section breach, angled fire, Garvey, West, grab that Marine SAW and set up on the other angle. I want a crossfire in that hole."<br/><br/>Her men scurried to obey and she took a moment to see if she could figure out any of the ship's systems. "I thought these things had a fucking mainframe AI on board?"<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Active... Viv Vuv".</tt><br/><br/>The voice made Paige jump. "Shit. Who said... No, don't tell me. That was the AI, right? Ship, are you functional?"<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Genavite, Patcain. Vesere risdupupupupution of clitoral fucktions"</tt>It was all Kerry could do to avoid bursting out laughing.<br/><br/>Someone nearby said, "Did the ship just say what I think it said?"<br/><br/>Paige snarled, to keep a straight face, "It said it has severe disruption of critical functions."<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Corked Craptin".</tt><br/><br/>"Can you show me how much of the ship is in enemy hands?"<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Firmtits Clipton. Hogogogthic splayayayayaya".</tt><br/><br/>A three dimensional image of the ship suddenly appeared. Blue bits, most of C-deck, the Bridge, a few areas towards engineering, and several large pockets down on lower decks, represented friendly held areas. But most of the ship was red. The hangar deck was blue! That was something, at least.<br/><br/>But the biggest surprise was the blue area on A-Deck. She thought the main crew deck had been totally overrun, but there was a significant patch of blue, stretching up from the stern end of B Deck, which was also blue. That machine gun fire she'd heard as she and her section had penetrated A-Deck. The blue section suddenly expanded. "Is this real time?"<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Furrytiff, Clapspin"</tt>The computer was not making this easy.<br/><br/>She watched as blue burst from the bridge where Stern led her detachment out, and suddenly the red dissolved into pink and then grey, as the blue from the stern surged forward. "Friendlies coming in! Cease fire!" She yelled out.<br/><br/>Paige walked off the Bridge to meet with whoever was in command of this unit. "Well as I live and breathe, Staff sergeant Monroe, you old shitbag!"<br/><br/>"Paige, you fucking dyke, how are ya?"<br/><br/>"Been better. You senior?"<br/><br/>"Major Blunt was still in command on B, last I heard. You?"<br/><br/>"Lieutenant Warren holds C-Deck. But guess what? I'm the fucking<em>Captain!</em>"<br/><br/>Just then one of her men came running back from where they were cutting down the cocoons. "Sir", It was one of the Fleet ratings. "Got it Sir!" The man had a key dangling from his hand.<br/><br/>"Okay. Let's blow this baby up!"<br/><br/>She went back into the Bridge. Her reinforced Squad was now a platoon. She sat in The Chair again. "Computer, let me talk to all the blue areas."<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Shipwipe dress is nonslergtif. Acgrigating?"</tt><br/><br/>"Repeat that?"<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Ship   Vide    Addresseseses.... Not.... Selelelelelegrive. Act    ivate  inginginging?"</tt><br/><br/>"Activate..." Paige paused and coughed. The sound echoed back at her from all around. "Okay... This is the Captain. Abandon ship, I repeat, abandon ship. All personnel are to get to the hangar deck or to the nearest escape pod. You have twenty minutes". She stood and inserted the Captain's key, watched while Stern did the same with the first officer's. "Turn on my mark... Mark!" Both keys turned simultaneously. "Entering time delay... twenty minutes. Initiating count down on my mark... Mark!" The keys clicked back, the lights turned red, and a buzzer sounded.<br/><br/><tt class="bbc_tt">"Self Destruct activated, countdown is nineteen minutes fifty five seconds. Thank you captain it has been a pleasure serving with you".</tt><br/><br/>Paige figured that was probably a recording, as the computer was suddenly talking clearly. "Break the keys off". Two audible snaps echoed around the ship. "Okay, people, let's get the fuck out of dodge!"<br/><br/><hr/><br/>Pat took his time, trying not to be distracted by the sexy trooper leaning near him. These things were ticklish at best, and he wanted to be sure he wasn't going to suck them all out into space. "Ooookay... Pressure readout is good so far as Oi can tell. O' course if someone's fooked wid it, dere could still be hard vacuum on t' other soide o' th' door and de first we'd know about it'd be when our guts boiled!" He poked a probe into a circuit. "Gotcha, ya fucker!"<br/><br/>The techie looked up at Church. "Ready whe' ye're Mister Kirk!"<br/><br/>Church and the rest of the squad took up positions. Pat made sure he wasn't in anyone's way or in anyone's line of fire, and as the point man nodded, he touched one wire to another in a way that made sparks fly as the panel shorted out and the failsafe was reversed in polarity - something that should not, strictly speaking, be possible. The door slid up with a bang.<br/><br/><div class="quoteheader"><div class="topslice_quote">Quote</div></div><blockquote class="bbc_standard_quote">"Okay... This is the Captain. Abandon ship, I repeat, abandon ship. All personnel are to get to the hangar deck or to the nearest escape pod. You have twenty minutes ... Turn on my mark... Mark! ... Entering time delay... twenty minutes. Initiating count down on my mark... Mark!"</blockquote><div class="quotefooter"><div class="botslice_quote"></div></div><br/>And the lights turned red. "Oh FUCK! That was the Sarge!"