<strong>FNEECH'NGKT</strong><br/><br/><strong>"It's a thing, Hroon,"</strong>was my explanation to our stripey little friend  for now. Hroon usually seemed content to let most unknown objects remain Things. I pulled the female from Idiotworld closer to restrain her, as I watched Hroon pounce on the device we'd abducted her in with a roar of rasping Ningtiktik laughter.<strong>"Shut up, you idiotic creature,"</strong>I testily told Tailball Boobs, pulling out a bunch of my dreads and shoving them firmly in her mouth, then tied her firmly to the room's central metal pole. It wasn't a structural feature. Satisfied that I had our new guest's attention and that she wouldn't interrupt me, I tried to make things a little clearer to her primitive brain, no doubt the size of a  gnomgnom fly's.<br/><br/><strong>"You're on an alien spaceship, you imbecile,"</strong>I told the lady with bionic mammaries, slapping the grotesque jugs with the tip of my flame red tail to make my point.<strong>"Hasn't anyone ever abducted a member of your species before? I can understand why, for Hrung's sake,"</strong>I wondered aloud, slicing open the material the creature was wrapped in with my ritual hunting knife.<strong>"TRAL, open your sample hopper. Some fabric from one of the worst dressed races in the known universe for you here. See what you can work out from it."</strong>I walked up to the wall and placed the shreds of soft fibre in the open sample hopper, slid it shut, and took two remote electrodes from the control panel's drawer.<br/><br/><strong>"At this point, we'd normally interrogate you, but I think both my colleague Gnongktingunk and your fellow passengers Hroon and Nystl-za are enjoying your silence as much as I am for now. I am Fneech'ngkt of Drrrnoskop, from planet Ningtiktik. The fellow member of my species here, if you can tell who that might be, is my countryningtik."</strong>I spoke slowly, pointing out everyone as I mentioned their names.<strong>"Nod if you're following me so far. We're making a stopover on your little dump of a planet, then we're getting the Marklar out of here and going to a civilised part of the universe for some scrumbles. Now, do you have rotating teeth in your cunt?"</strong><br/><br/><strong>"Stop making friends with the red thing, Hroon,"</strong>I smiled at this point, picking up the small, adorable and somehow incredibly sexy creature from წ47560 with my arm around her waist, as you'd pick up a pet spliggen back on Ningtiktik. I rubbed her between the ears and patted her softly between the hindlegs, then gently and rhythmically pinched her foremost pair of nipples. I whistled with my nostrils, and my Astrothrone walked towards me on its little retractable feet.<br/><br/>Taking a Number 27 Probing Utensil from a wall mount, I sat down in front of the restrained captive and examined her closely. The genital opening was located between two shaved flaps of flesh, which I spread with the Utensil. There appeared to be a small hole, seemingly free of teeth or other sharp hazards. If you've ever got completely trunkydunkied on Ouangk, then stuck one of your seminal tentacles inside a Harrhbelli girl's flanjj, you'll have learned to inspect a species thoroughly before you make such a painful mistake again. Inserting the finger thick end of the Utensil into the hole, I adjusted it with a screw knob on the end and pressed a little button to squirt in some mild, organic, non-corrosive lubricant. The small screen on the side of the tool, specifically designed for this purpose, read "Entry non-lethal. Estimated number of previous residents: 60-100." No genital grinding apparatus, what a relief. I left the tool poking out of the skank's cunt and walked over to Nystl-za.<br/><br/><strong>"Nystl-za, if you get bored of watching an exotic new species being probed, you're welcome to go back to your holding cell and play with your chemistry set,"</strong>I offered Squidgirl sardonically. She seemed to be moping again.<strong>"Have a potion, babe."</strong>I cracked open a vial of Noxila and poured some between her lips with a specialised funnel from the Probing Kit. Once the stuff gets between your lips, its flashing into intoxicating vapours usefully means spitting the stuff out doesn't help. As if even a savage would spit out fine Winking Centibison Noxila! There was, of course, NZ to take into account. I closed my thumb and forefinger in a ring around her ankle and stroked the sole of her foot gently with the tip of my tail, which sometimes seemed to cheer her up in combination with a cheeky drink. That also often made her a little more talkative.<strong>"Hroon, over here, try and make Squiggurl give us a smile,"</strong>I said, beckoning to the bouncy pouncey creature.<br/><br/><strong>"Gnongk, look at these readings on TRAL's Probe Management Interface,"</strong>I laughed.<strong>"The material installed in the creature's mammaries appears to be a form of thinking aid. See? It has a data processing potential of over 60% of the sludge composing her central nervous system." </strong><br/><br/>After these initial observations, I stroked the bound female's face, had the remote electrodes apply a mild shock to her nipples to stimulate her silicon based auxiliary brains, and told her:<strong>"I think we can question you now. Answer our questions and don't say anything your own species would find stupid."</strong>After removing the ball of my dreadlocks from her mouth, I pushed my finger to her lips and asked<strong>"Tell us about yourself, pink female. Tell us everything you know."</strong><br/><br/>I changed the setting of the Utensil in the animal's mating duct, so it throbbed softly and secreted a steady flow of heptafructose solution inside her. This tended to have a calming effect on simpler life forms.<br/>