<span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>CALVIN COOLIDGE MEMORIAL TEACHING HOSPITAL - OOC</strong></span><br/>(Coolidge Memorial for short!)<br/>Chatter, plotting and general information goes here.<br/><br/>Character Thread (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=95366.0)<br/>Guide to 1970s Medicine (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=95490.0)<br/><strong><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 12pt;">B Ward</span></strong>(http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=96105.0)<br/>Cafeteria (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=99357.0)<br/>Supply Closet (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=100724.0)<br/>Hospital grounds & corridors (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=101896.0)<br/>Sitrep - what's going on? (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=98215.0)<br/>Community Clinic (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=105931.0)<br/>Fat Man's Office (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=105928.0)<br/><br/><br/><div class="floatleft">(http://www.saintbarnabas.com/education/nbi/images/nbi_building.jpg)</div>This roleplay will be based on Samuel Shem's cult novel The House Of God, a sort of Catch 22 with doctors. It is highly recommended, but not required reading for players. ;) The premise is simple: under the watchful eye of the acting resident doctor, patients, nurses and doctors - residents and interns alike - canoodle and give each other hell. Most of the action will be focused on one ward, B Ward, but the whole of the hospital and staff apartments may be used from time to time. Patients will be booked into B Ward unless otherwise specified. Oh, and<br/><strong>the year is mid 1973. Stay tuned for the latest updates about Watergate!</strong><br/><br/>Humour will be extremely dark at times, and there will be a LOT of bodily fluids of all kinds and death - neither in a sexual sense, but if someone wants to make a necrophiliac pathologist or whatever for shits and giggles I'll applaud their twisted creativity. Hence the [EX] tag anyway - patients may poop themselves, puke all over the place and die even more messily. Doctors are strongly discouraged from raping other staff or patients however.<br/><br/>Patients may be divided into chronically ill but more or less stable old patients in advanced stages of dementia - these are the<strong>gomers</strong>- the seriously sick, injured and dying young, the mysteriously ill young and middle aged (Any case that could make it onto<em>House</em>), freak accidents and miscellaneous. Oh, and the<strong>LOL in NAD</strong>- Little Old Ladies in No Apparent Distress. Also comes in a male variant. If admitted and treated too much, these may become gomers, which is a Bad Thing. Gomers already make up close to the majority of patients and make life thoroughly miserable for the entire medical chain of command, except for upper management which receives their fees.<strong>IMPORTANT MEDICAL TERM:</strong>Gomer = GOMER = Get Out Of My Emergency Room. Gomers are almost never emergencies. See the<strong>LAWS</strong>.<br/><br/>To maintain a regular supply and high throughput of patients and staff, all players are strongly encouraged to play more than one character, who usually won't require their constant attention. Many characters also makes for a more relaxed posting rate, as not everyones character has to be posting at at any one time. If you're playing a doctor on call for example and get sidetracked by RL, other doctors can take over when a patient starts to go into arrest. I hope that makes sense<br/><br/>PM me your characters, ladies and gentlemen. Characters involved and needed are:<br/><br/>Doctors: About 4-5<strong>interns</strong>for now, 1 more<strong> resident/senior doctor</strong>(discuss it with me by PM if you want to make a senior staff member), 1<strong>supervising resident </strong>- specialised in proctology and gastroenterology - to be played by me,<strong>The Fat Man</strong><br/><br/>Nurses:<br/><br/>4-5<strong>nurses</strong>, 1<strong>head nurse</strong>(to be decided on by the nursing body)<br/><br/>Patients:<br/>The more the better. Decide on what disease or diseases and symptoms your patient has, and what category as mentioned above they're in. Patient character sheets may be a lot shorter, especially in terms of biography, and will also be used as their medical charts.<br/><br/>All characters to be approved by me and filed in the Character Thread (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=95366.0) before they set foot in my hospital.<br/><br/>Finally, for now, the<strong>LAWS</strong>of medicine as practiced in Coolidge Memorial. These will be expanded upon and made abundantly clear by the<strong>Fat Man</strong>and others.<br/><br/>BASIC LAWS OF MEDICAL PRACTICE:<br/><br/><strong>1. GOMERS DON’T DIE.<br/>2. GOMERS GO TO GROUND.<br/>3. AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE YOUR OWN PULSE.<br/>4. THE PATIENT IS THE ONE WITH THE DISEASE.<br/>5. PLACEMENT COMES FIRST.<br/>6. THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT CANNOT BE REACHED WITH A #14G NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM.<br/>7. AGE + BUN (Blood Urea Nitrogen) = LASIX DOSE.<br/>8. THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE.<br/>9. THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION.<br/>10. IF YOU DON’T TAKE A TEMPERATURE, YOU CAN’T FIND A FEVER.<br/>11. SHOW ME A MED STUDENT WHO ONLY TRIPLES MY WORK AND I WILL KISS HIS FEET.<br/>12. IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT AND THE MEDICAL STUDENT BOTH SEE A LESION ON THE CHEST X-RAY, THERE CAN BE NO LESION THERE.<br/>13. THE DELIVERY OF GOOD MEDICAL CARE IS TO DO AS MUCH NOTHING AS POSSIBLE.</strong><br/><br/>These LAWS will not be deviated from unless for extremely convincing dramatic necessity.<br/><br/>All right, let's practice some medicine! Players with any medical knowledge whatsoever are particularly welcome.<br/><br/>(http://i982.photobucket.com/albums/ae306/ameliacasey/coolidge/generallayout.jpg?t=1296057031)