These glorious insults are from an era before the English language was boiled down to 4-letter words.<br/><br/>·    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."<br/>"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."<br/><br/>·    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr<br/><br/>·    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill<br/><br/>·    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow<br/><br/>·    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).<br/><br/>·    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas<br/><br/>·    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain<br/><br/>·    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde<br/><br/>·    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill<br/>·    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response.<br/><br/>·    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop<br/><br/>·    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright<br/><br/>·    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb<br/><br/>·    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson<br/><br/>·    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating<br/><br/>·    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand<br/><br/>·    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker<br/><br/>·    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain<br/><br/>·    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West<br/><br/>·    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde<br/><br/>·    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)<br/><br/>·    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder<br/><br/>·    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx