<em>~ Are you sitting comfortably? ..........Maddi and the girls sheltering and waiting for dawn ~</em><br/><br/>"No not worry," said Maddi, glad she had got them both focusing on something, they were all still too cold to safely go to sleep, and even huddling together Maddi couldn't stop the shivering that seemed to tire her out even more.  "You guys know normally I don't get attached.  And you are two of the very few people who also know why.  You've told me often enough that I should let go of the past and try to open up to a real relationship." she squeezed them both, she knew they'd always meant well, but actually she hated it that it seemed to disappoint them that she couldn't let go and find what most people took for granted.<br/><br/>"Love 'em and  leave 'em, no strings and fun for everyone, that's normally my way.  But I'm afraid I got burned, well and truly burned this summer." she sighed, and that wasn't the half of it, she'd tell them about how stupid she'd been to fall for the guy but the other stuff?  The sub/dom exploration and how much it had affected her, well no, she didn't know if she'd ever tell anyone that.<br/><br/>"It was a bachelor cruise.  Good references too.  They wanted an extra hand who could not only crew and take watches but who could cook a meal for them once a day and knew the med.  It started out fine, they took their jollies in the stopovers and never made it difficult for me, not like some groups.  Then one of them, the eldest, well he and I started getting on real well.  We began to share some night watches, talking for hours and then, well one thing led to another and soon we were lovers too."<br/><br/>Maddi checked the other girls were still wide awake and then continued, "The sex was amazing, Christ he knew what to do and how to it, and you can imagine how romantic it was in the med, I started to fall for him, oh did I ever fall for him. I really thought it was more than a holiday romance.  I thought, this was it, Mr Right at last.  God he persuaded me to......" she hesitated, and then changed tack, "Well, suffice to say we had rather an adventurous time sexually too."<br/><br/>"Then the morning we came into Naples, he took a call on his mobile and I overheard it, the guy was married and fuck did I feel like shit.  We only had three more days left, and I stuck it out, but God it hurt, I felt so used.  I've never ever slept with a married guy before and it made me feel so dirty so awful." And the betrayal, the whispered words of love, the plans that they had made, that had hurt so bad she felt as if her heart had been ripped out.<br/><br/>She paused and looked down at her feet, which actually weren't visible, and her face wasn't either so she didn't know what she was worrying about they couldn't see her eyes welling up with tears.  She swallowed and blinked them away and carried on, "So I'm afraid girls, I'm back to the friends who fuck again.  And to be honest I think I'll be happy with just me and my vibrator for quite a long time to come.  I feel like I've been run over by a truck, still so sore and hurt.  Trust me huh?  Always the one getting into scrapes and now, when I broke my rule and fell in love I got screwed – typical huh?"