<div class="floatright">(http://i425.photobucket.com/albums/pp340/daggeroflath/tumblr_mfjn49GNI41rkqayvo1_500_zpsfe937118.jpg)</div><hr/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 18pt;">Trent</span></div><hr/><br/>As Trent lay in the room listening to the soft music in the dark room, his panic attack started to slowly ease. He had suffered from debilitating attacks after the funeral and they had come and gone for over a month. Each time he was faced with a decision, it reminded him how alone he was now, forced to motivate himself without encouragement, advise or orders from Isaac. He had stood one time in front of the fridge, trying to choose between which of two cartons of milk to open until it had brought him to tears.<br/><br/>He'd searched long and hard for a psychologist who was experienced with D/s relationships and it had taken him time to work through the issues, but he'd thought he'd managed it. For the last month he hadn't had a single panic attack, though that was partly through the help of some pills he'd been taking. He hadn't realized though how tied up the issues were with his sexual identity. Coming back here, he was faced with more than he could handle and the panic attacks had recurred.<br/><br/>Still, he wasn't going to run from this. He had to find a way to face these problems and overcome them, like he had with the old issues. Lying there in the dark, he realized that he had been going about this wrong. Trying to pretend he was a completely different person, acting like he had changed overnight and not even acknowledging his old scars.<br/><br/>He waited until his breathing was back under control and the sick feeling gone from his stomach, then he sipped on the green tea. Now calmer he didn't feel confronted by the variety of drinks to choose from. Isaac had always forbid him from taking alcohol or any recreational drugs, and although coming back here he had been tempted to demonstrate his independence by drinking, he realized that beyond a rebellious urge he didn't actually want to be drunk. This was an important moment in his life and he wanted to be stone cold sober for it.<br/><br/>Trent washed his face in a small basin in the room, then gently toweled it dry trying to clean away the evidence of his earlier tears. He would have to find another approach, but he would make it through this experience. He needed to make at least one more try of it before he went home. Feeling thus encouraged, he opened the door and went back through to the locker room. Maybe he'd take a swim, that sounded relaxing.