<strong>THE FAT MAN, EXAMINING ANNA BELLE LEWIS IN HIS OFFICE, WITH DR. STANLEY ADAMS &amp; VIRGINIA DALLAS, THEN MOVING TO B WARD TO TAKE STOCK OF THE BURPLESON SITUATION IN BED 2</strong><br/><br/>The Fat Man smiled warmly up at Anna Belle from between her thighs.<strong>"Don't worry, I'm a specialist,"</strong>he reassured her, thoroughly slathering her vulva and anus in that well known medical preparation, K-Y Jelly.<strong>"This shouldn't be too uncomfortable at all."</strong>He chuckled, winked up at her, and motioned to Dr. Adams to take a closer look at how to do an internal exam - if that was even necessary.<br/><br/><strong>"Gently spread the labia majora... palpate clitoral hood and glans for easier access... aaand slowly feel the first inch or so of the vaginal canal for abnormalities,"</strong>he said softly and instructively as he demonstrated. His thumb remained in place on her clitoris to ensure the patient's welcoming of his digits. A podgy, latex-wrapped finger swirled around and probed deeper, then another.<strong>"Dilate the vagina just a crack and take a look with the flashlight,"</strong>he smiled, peering into her, then pushed his fingers deeper to examine the vaginal wall closer to her cervix as his thumb idly gave her clit a little tweak.<br/><br/><strong>"Insert speculum, dilate, and palpate cervix to exclude pelvic inflammatory disease."</strong>Carefully, he inserted a cold surgical steel speculum into her and slowly screwed it open until Anna Belle was spread open almost an inch.<br/><div class="floatleft">(http://babes.pinkems.com/pics/peelover-speculum.jpg)</div>Finally, he pressed down firmly with his other hand on her lower belly, pushing her uterus and cervix within easy probing reach of his fingers. They pushed in and out a few times, to make sure they hadn't missed a spot of her vaginal wall.<br/><br/><strong>"No uterine cysts or pregnancy, Dr. Adams. Do you know what a <em>zebra</em> is? It walks like a horse, sounds like a horse, but is almost only found in zoos. When you hear hooves outside the window, think horsies, not zebras. <br/><br/>Now what causes abdominal pain that doesn't grow acute and intense when the lower abdominal wall is palpated? That's right, appendicitis in a mini appendix, hidden entirely within the pelvis. Adams? Can you take over please? I don't like the sound of what's going on in B Ward. Perform a digital rectal examination with plenty of jelly on Miss Lewis, have her cough for you while you have a finger inside the rectum and TURF her to Surgery for appendectomy when she cries out as the appendix moves against your finger. I've got to see what's going on with the new patient. Hang in there, Anna Belle, you've been very sweet and brave,"</strong>he smiled at her.<strong>"You'll be A-OK after a day or two in hospital,"</strong>he promised, taking off his gloves, washing his hands and gently squeezing Anna Belle's palm. He stroked her forehead softly and headed out, whispering to Virginia Dallas on his way out. ]<br/><br/><strong>"If Doctor Adams gets overexcited, send him for a cold shower and a run around the playing fields, will you,"</strong>he chuckled, then left his office and crossed the corridor to B Ward. The groans he could already hear from his office didn't sound good at all.<br/><br/>When he saw the state of the new admission, he groaned.<em>THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION,</em>he mused cynically as he looked at the man's charts. Ahhh, the man was a Hells Angel and had cirrhosis into the bargain. Oh, and Jane Doe's lumbar puncture had suddenly turned out life-threatening, and Mox was taking care of the situation, leaving the almost-corpse in the skilled hands of two interns on their first day.<br/><br/><strong>"Doctors Bob and Cliff! Mr. Burpleson is your responsibility and mine, and I'd be watching you at gunpoint if I could, given the state he's in. We're going to have to drain his beer belly of fluid before his liver kills him. Oh FUCK!"</strong><br/><br/>A beeping from one of the electronic boxes Burpleson was plugged into, as well as the patient seizing up, foaming bloodily at the mouth through a bandage and kicking in the air with what remained of his thigh, indicated more, urgent bad news. The Fat Man grabbed and charged the defibrillator paddles and charged them.<br/><br/><strong>"Gentlemen. Calm down and stand clear of the patient. AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE YOUR OWN PULSE."</strong>Briskly, he zapped Burpleson's chest with them until the patient calmed down with a splutter and the machine stopped beeping.<br/><br/><strong>"Okay, where were we? The paracentesis. Let's see you in action, 'terns. Get that tube in his gut."<strong></strong></strong>