<strong>Elijah, alone in his head</strong><br/><br/>The words echoed still in Elijah's ears.  He had been so sure, so blissfully ignorant...Elijah felt as though a hand plunged into his chest and ripped his heart straight out.  His joy leeched slowly out of him as he stood, trying to maintain a smile on his face that had no smile in it.  As he stood, it was evident in his body, which was slightly hunched and not fully erect, that he looked vaguely like a man who had just been punched in the stomach.  He was no innocent, he had been around the block.  He knew that during a proposal, "we'll talk later" meant no.  More to the point, it meant: "I won't embarrass you here..."<br/><br/>Maddi quickly moved off to tend dinner, further cementing his fate.  Elijah stood there, unmoving, while his brain raced to see how he had screwed up.  It wasn't the first time he had screwed up and probably wouldn't be the last, but this one hurt the most.  He picked apart all the conversations that had had that afternoon, before he lit on what must have been the problem.  His jokes.  He had always known that he joked around, it was his defensive mechanism when things got too serious.  Some people freaked out, some ran away, but Elijah joked.  He was pretty sure Maddi liked his jokes, but it was now evident that she considered him comedic relief.  Someone to be casual with, but obviously not serious enough for anything more.  And frankly, Elijah couldn't find it in his heart to disagree.  All the women he tried to date, who would tell him it was fun, they had a blast, but they couldn't see anything serious happening between them - they should have been a warning.  But Elijah didn't really get it until now.  Because none of them were Maddi.<br/><br/>Maddi tried to lighten the suddenly cloudy mood at the fire by joking with Elijah, but it was all he could do to grunt a non-answer.  And he happily accepted the assignment to go find Des so that he could take a walk and clear his head.  As he walked away he heard Maddi laugh behind him and inwardly winced.  Her laugh still made him feel happy, but that little happy met the crushing wall of his depression and was quickly stifled.  His faltering steps took him towards the lagoon in stead of the cliffs and he sat by the lagoon and threw rocks, having a pity party, table of one.