<span class="bbc_font" style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>~Ayshia visiting Lars after the lunch~</strong></span></span><br/><br/><div style="text-align: justify;">Ayshia walked toward the Fox hearth with an anxious look on her face. Meeting Lars face to face again, alone, was making her stomach knot and she was trying to avoid it. He had been really good with her, she couldn’t think of something he could have done better; it was she who had little faith in her own ability. Had <em>she</em> been good, would the next man to share the pleasures with her, enjoy it? She felt uneasy with Lars because he knew and she didn’t, and since he seemed to be here to stay now, she wanted to clear the air, just as much as he.<br/><br/>What if he wanted more? With her? What if she was the reason why he came to this camp? What if… she tried to stop working herself up this way and just waited for him to say what he had to say? Ayshia berated herself. It wasn’t like anticipating this meeting and getting a head full of expectation would do anyone any good. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart, but it was in vain. He would greet her and see that she was flushed and nervous, and hopefully he wouldn’t take this the wrong way.<br/><br/>Lars was nowhere near nervous, though similar conclusion had come to his mind for some time. He wanted things to be clear between them, so that there would be no tension in the camp. He had left the other one because of tension concerning a woman, he was not about to let it happen again. He was truly beginning to feel at home among those people, and leaving them would be like leaving family behind again. He wasn’t looking forward to it. He heard Ayshia’s footfall come closer and closer to the entrance of his hearth and stood from his furs, where he had been waiting while hollowing the inside of a bone he planned to use as handle for his tool. He was about to call for her when he saw her stop and look his way.<br/><br/>“Lars, could we talk?” Ayshia said, just barely looking into the hearth, as it would be rude to do anymore. She took a deep breath, and then another. She was not going to turn into a coward. She was quite sure that if she went outside and stuck her face in the snow, a hissing sound would ensue and the snow would melt around her. Her cheeks burned, she couldn’t remember blushing so hard, not even when he had named her beautiful when seeing her naked, the night of her first rites.<br/><br/>“We do need to talk, Ayshia, daughter of the Crane hearth.” He said and he sounded far more solemn than he intended to. He almost grunted, not too satisfied with his performance so far. He was way too aware that Ayshia was not at ease around him and he certainly didn’t mean to sound so official. “Come, have some tea with me.”<br/><br/>He was a few years her elder, not by much, and he would certainly make a fine husband. His prowess at the hunt had been told to her by a young woman from his former camp, one who’s attitude had turned rather sour once she heard that Lars would be Ayshia’s first man and not her own.  Ayshia shoved the memory aside. Ever since the morning, the talk with her dad that seemed to underline that life could be short, love could be a good thing and that he was quite eager to see her settled if it was in the Wolf camp, she couldn’t help but to look at the available men of the camp with an appraising eye. She wasn’t so desperate to get married! She took the kettle and filled his cup, before filling hers and then returned it to a spot near a low fire, so it would keep warm even if it would eventually become bitter.<br/><br/>“Tell me what’s going on.” Lars requested, right away. The direct speech wasn’t something that bothered Ayshia. The Mammut of the camp tended to prod her the exact same way. Only, she knew she could speak about everything to Mammut – everything but for her long gone crush on Vanyel, of course – Lars was still too much of a stranger to benefit of an equally frank answer. “You’re avoiding to look at me, even now.” Lars pointed out.<br/><br/>“You’ve noticed that too.” Ayshia said with a white voice. If she was prone to tease those she love, showing very little of the shyness from her two friends, Ayshia wasn’t beyond feeling overwhelmed or wanting to disappear from view like now. For all answer, Lars nodded his head and he took a sip of the hot tea. Ayshia, in an attempt to buy some time, drank some of hers. “It’s alright. I’ll grow use to your presence sooner or later.” She said, lacking the courage to ask the question that bothered her.<br/><br/>“Was I that awful?” He asked point blank. Ayshia almost choked on her tea and looked at him wide-eyed. Her brain had frozen for a moment, shocked by his question. Unable to find her voice just yet, she shook her head and saw a bit of the tension ease off his shoulders. Ayshia broke eye contact to look into her cup of tea and she bit her upper lip between her teeth, pondering how to answer the unspoken question.<br/><br/>“Are you falling on love with me?” He asked, and her tone became much softer. Again, without looking up from her cup, Ayshia shook her head no. The man let out a frustrated growl, which caught Ayshia’s attention and she felt her strength come back to her, finally. She felt his frustration to be misplaced, but at the same time she could understand him. “I’m can’t hear your thoughts, Ayshia. If you don’t talk to me, I won’t spend the rest of the day trying to guess.” He said, and then downed the rest of his tea.<br/><br/>“Was I…” Her voice failed her. She took a deep breath and looked up. She murmured her question so that no one would hear unless intentionally eavesdropping. “Was I good?” She asked and finally managed to raise her gaze to his face. The knot in her stomach made her feel queasy and she knew that if she became even more tense, she might very well throw up. On Lars’ face, she saw a mix of surprise and relief, maybe even a touch of amusement.<br/><br/>“It was your first rites, Ayshia. No one would expect a girl to be perfect right from the start.” He said, his voice lowered to a deep rumble. <br/><br/>“No one but me, apparently.” Ayshia replied, a bit more curtly than she intended. It was her pride on the line here, and her confidence. Since her first rites, she had not sought to share the pleasures with anyone for this reason.<br/><br/>“Ayshia, you did fine. Don’t torture yourself. We come into this expecting the girl to let us do most of the work, if not all of it, and you went beyond expectation by participating as you did. At some point, I even thought I might not be the first… but then you proved it to me.” Lars said. It was the most words she had heard the man string together in one shot. The words lifted a weight off her shoulder and made her cheeks burn as much as before she entered the fox hearth. “So… will you be able to behave normally around me now?” He asked her and she nodded her head.<br/><br/>“Thank you.” She whispered, letting all the relief that she felt into those to words. “And yes, I will.” Ayshia finished her tea, even though it was still a tad too hot for her taste.<br/><br/>“You do not mind me becoming a part of this camp, do you?” Lars asked and Ayshia shook her head, still not quite able to use her voice. A part of her felt like crying. It was just the jumble of emotions that she had bottled since last summer camp that all seem want to come out at once. Her throat was tight and she had a lump in her throat, she didn’t want to cry in front of him. If she had sized the man right, he would seek to know which blame he had to take in her tears.<br/><br/>“I’m glad you came.” Ayshia finally managed to say. It sounded as true as she meant it. If he had not come, she would have had to face this uncertainty in a way that could have turned out to be much more shameful. “I hope you’ll find what you were looking for, when you came here.” Ayshia stood, getting prepared to leave.<br/><br/>“Some of it, I have.” Lars agreed with a nod of his head. “A place to call home, with friends. Vanyel and you, which I’ve known before coming here. I hope you’ll come to consider me your friend.” He said, adding the last so she wouldn’t be mistaken on why he had included her on the list of things that made him want to stay. Ayshia smiled at him, the first real smile and sustained eye contact that they’ve had since he arrived at the camp. “Let’s go see how good that arm of yours is.” He suggested and her smile turned into a playful grin and she nodded her head.<br/></div>