<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br/>Despite the girls squirming, kicking and flailing, it wasn’t all that much of a burden on the warrior as he carried them up the trail towards safety. Their boots and fists connected with nothing tender and his armor was more than sufficient to block the force from the rare ones to actually land on him. The indignant protests and insults were exactly what he’d imagined and he merely snorted and shook his head, too exasperated to get offended at this point, though his lips did pull in a little snarl that showed teeth at their superhuman ability to ignore reality.<br/><br/>One of them even climbed him like he was a damn stripper pole but couldn’t entirely get away as his grasp on her hip were like stone. Then they both froze when a noise, he could well picture the results of, flowed up to them from the ravine. He’d seen the effects of that noxious breath before, felt it, and the thought of having the two ladies exposed to it sent a shudder through him. If anything could convince you to give up adventuring it was melting, and being digested in a rat’s intestines. He didn’t quite know why he wanted to spare them that, maybe it would have been the right thing to just let them face it and chase them back to their comfy homes, but there was something in their eagerness that had him curious.<br/><br/>It only took a minute to get far enough he figured they would be out of the way from where the beasts would venture to find them and he dumped them unceremoniously to the ground, like they were the two sacks of flour he’d carried them as. They made far more undignified sounds as they landed however and he barely held back a snort at the squeaks and squawks coming his way.<br/><br/>“So..”<br/><br/>He began just as that damn golden glow wrapped around them both and his lips pulled into a tight line as he cursed silently to himself. So they’d gotten enough experience to evolve a bit. That would have been great if not for when it happened.<br/><br/>Not truly wanting to rain on the excitement, their youthful eagerness about such a small victory tugged uncomfortably at something deep within him, he nevertheless knew he had to make them see some kind of sense before it was way too late.<br/><br/>Reaching out he thumped them both on the head with his knuckles, like he was knocking on a dumbbell to check how dense it was, and he shook his head, grunting as he looked down at them with a sardonic frown.<br/><br/>“Did you now? And I wonder why that was? Could it have been because I bodily carried you out of there right before you were swarmed by the damn elite guards? If I hadn’t, those bodies being dissolved into the rancid muck of rat flesh and feces would have been you! I bet half my ass and a nut that you had half a dozen spells left between the both of you at best! You were walking rat bait and if you can’t see that then maybe some of that experience should go into intelligence!”<br/><br/>Perhaps there was a bit too much force in his voice, the growl a bit too deep. He drew in a deep breath, trying to calm himself as well he could as his gaze went from the dark haired girl over to the red head and back. He’d feared for them more than he’d realized, and that bugged him deeply. But he had no time to think on it, if he let them get a word in he’d never get back the momentum. He could feel the indignation in them build, the spoiled brattishness and superior blood cry out for satisfaction and demand that they protest his words.<br/><br/>“No, this is where I speak and you girls listen!”<br/><br/>He said as he held his hand towards them palm out, as if he could bodily block the flood he was sure was coming. His pale blue eyes gleamed like ice as he stared down at them.<br/><br/>“I’d ask you what you did wrong but honestly at this time I don’t think you even know, not if you think that worked well?!”<br/><br/>There was enough incredulity flooding his voice to drown a castle.<br/><br/>“Why in the seven squares of hell are you using swords!? Did you even know how to cast spells before this or was that some happy coincidence?”<br/><br/>He shook his head as he started to count off on his fingers, voice salty enough to make the ocean seem sweet as ambrosia.<br/><br/>“You ran in there swinging melee weapons like you were a pair of adolescent boys that just discovered they had cocks, despite being casters. You attack anything that move like the previously mentioned boys that see a pair of tits the first time, without any care for how many you draw the attention off. You don’t keep track of any who run away or the location of additional enemies. You don’t listen to advice or run away when there is obviously no chance of winning. You don’t cooperate worth a damn. When you finally get your dicks wet and use your magic you blow your loads faster than an overeager virgin. Then, last of all, you spend time looting with enemies running all around you!“<br/><br/>Taking another deep breath he felt himself finally calming down just a tad and he remembered one of the few things his old master had said that was actually worth keeping in mind.<br/><br/>“For all that you did one thing right and that’s why I’m not just walking away. You stood with each other. You didn’t stroke each other’s cocks but you didn’t leave each other hanging either.”<br/><br/>Pulling out two small packs from the pouches in his belt he tossed them over. The small rations should give them something to snack on, both reinvigorating them a bit and hopefully making them shut up long enough for him to get done talking, or so he hoped.<br/><br/>“Now, before you try this again,” he looked at them with a raised eyebrow, “no you aren’t done here yet. Eat up and listen.”<br/><br/>“First of all, you are a wizard or sorceress,” he pointed towards the redhead,” and you are a priestess of some kind,” he pointed at the dark haired girl,” use your magic not weapons, unless you happen to have a wand of some sort. Though even then those are for when you have no mana left or there’s another emergency. Don’t wave those useless swords around, it’s embarrassing. Keep track of how many spells you use, and what kind, get a sense of when you start feeling weaker and to back off. If you get into a situation you can’t handle, and you need to learn to recognize those, then you run like a damn noble lady caught in a thrift store seeing her worst rival traipse up the road. Likewise if the damn tank tells you to run!”<br/><br/>At this point he sat down on one haunch with his knee in the grass, letting his powerful thighs hold his weight and leaning his thick arms on a knee as he made crude marks in the ground to help his lesson.<br/><br/>“When you near an area with enemies find one or two that is isolated and attack them from range, preferably with something that slows them down. If you are lucky you can kill it before it gets to you. Be careful of those that try and run away, they can alert other enemies to your presence and you can get overwhelmed. Work together, don’t attack different enemies but the same and make sure you have mana before moving on. Always save some mana for emergencies, an ice nova can help you escape and a few healing spells can turn the tide.<br/><br/>“Despite you two acting like complete idiots, I hold out hope that you aren’t, “he smiled pointedly at Sophie,” so insecure in your noble egos that you can’t handle taking instructions when you are in more dire need of them than a gnome dating an ogre needs lube.”<br/><br/>With that he drew in a breath and let it out, knowing he’d regret the next few words.<br/><br/>“Any questions?”<br/>