Ardelia froze at the first hint of the conversation heading towards what she gleaned to be an invitation. Suddenly she wanted to bolt, niceness and politeness be damned. This was a pity party, population<em>her</em>. Taking slow breaths as Beth spoke she tried not to speak without thinking, it was a detrimental habit of hers, which she acknowledged and was trying to change. The answer to this was to remain stock silent. Right then her pride was warring against her, as were several other emotions.<em>Logically </em>she knew all too well that Beth was trying to be nice, this was a helpful offer and by God it was what she needed more than anything. A place to crash, somewhere she could hopefully get together enough money to maybe stand a chance at paying her mother’s medical bills, a steady address where she could get another job.<br/><br/>It was an impossibly nice thing to do.<br/><br/>So why did Ardy feel so humiliated? So utterly tricked? It was hard to feel anything but ashamed, still that wasn’t Beth’s fault, it was her own for letting herself fall so violently into such a pathetic situation. She’d done her level best to keep from Beth how bad things were; still clearly it hadn’t been enough.<br/><br/>Realising she’d been quiet for too long, especially when so much rested on her answer she was instantly relieved when Beth excused herself to go and get something or other out of the oven. Ardy wasn’t really paying attention to anything but the fight or flight instinct threatening to overwhelm her.<br/><br/><em>They </em>had planned this, talked about poor pathetic little her.<br/><br/>It was nice, this was what friends did wasn’t it?<br/><br/>Except her friends would<em>never </em>have done<em>this</em>, it felt like she was being patronised. Her weaknesses and failures paraded in front of her and sweetened with nice food. Not that the food mattered, her appetite had evaporated. She was a<em>fool</em>, the clothes, the food, she was a charity case. A poor little stray that Beth wanted to take in and fix. It made the brunette feel very,<em>very </em>small. In truth the only thing holding her tongue was the fact that she genuinely didn’t want to offend Beth or think that this had been in any way intended maliciously.<br/><br/>Instead of speaking Ardelia focused on pushing the remaining food around her plate absently, trying to keep her defences in check whilst also fighting the urge to run away from the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. How had she been so stupid to genuinely think Beth was getting something out of this friendship beyond some perverse satisfaction in being so much better? It went deeper than that, she knew that she had a crush on the older woman, had done since they met. Perhaps that was why this stung so fervently.<br/><br/>With no response to offer, the silence stretched out.