"I'm not fit for marriage, old friend," Alexei sighed. "And you know it," he added. But like it or not, he had to admit -- even if it was only to himself -- that Nikolai was right. Had he known about this arrangement beforehand, he would have moved heaven and earth to be somewhere else. Now, his hands were tied. It was clear that Pavel had made the arrangements with King Gustav, and running now would put Russia in a bad situation. He shot one last glare at his Lieutenant before exiting the library and heading for his own apartment. He felt like a man heading for the gallows. What did he really know of marriage. His own father ignored one child and isolated the other, throwing him to the wolves at the first possible opportunity. And now he was expected to bring children into this harsh world.<br/><br/>"Yes, well baba had me married off from the moment I moved from diapers to short pants," he snorted as they entered his room. Heading for his closets, he scowled, knowing that Pavel wanted all the pomp and circumstances on this greeting. Something befitting another royal. Sometimes he wished he had been born to a pauper's family. Grabbing his dark blue regement coat, and dark trousers, he exited the closet.<br/><br/>"If you're going to help send me to the hangman, you might as well help, old man. Lay out my ribbons," he growled, stripping off his clothes. He was half tempted to drag his heels, but it would only be putting off the inevitable. Within minutes, he was doing up the buttons on his waistcoat, stomping over to the bed to start adding the ribbons. He hated every one he added. He was a soldier, content to just protect his country and his czar. Every time he added another decoration to his coat, he felt like a small boy playing dress up...being something he wasn't.