<div class="floatleft">(http://i.imgur.com/rtjTRKO.png)</div><strong>Name:</strong>Akiyama Amaya<br/><strong>Location:</strong>Akiyama's dorm room<br/><strong>With:</strong>Megumi Shika<br/><strong>Time:</strong>First day of School; Night Time<br/><hr/><br/>As little as she wanted to go back inside, the cold air was getting to her. Perhaps it just fit, maybe that was it. Cold had never been something to bother her. Perhaps it was because of her drop in heart. Perhaps it was because the wetness on her cheeks was sucking up the cold. Or perhaps it was just her body trying to get her to go back inside.<br/><br/>Just in time for Amaya to turn around however, the sound of the balcony door opening appeared behind her, and Megumi came out. She should have guessed as much, it was too much to expect to be left alone.<br/><br/>Despite not saying anything, Amaya's eyes were naturally drawn towards what was put on display in front of her. Her eyes traced the hand working the towel till it had done its deed and thin lines came to view in the moonlight, before Megumi started explaining their origins.<br/><br/><strong>"Perhaps that with the balcony is true for you, but... They know I don't have the guts to jump"</strong>Amaya replied silently, glancing down again. Yet again, every time she closed her eyelids, the afterimage of the pavement was painted in shades of red.<br/><br/><strong>"I've thought of death as a sweet release as well, but... The last time I tried... Well, that's how I ended up in the hospital. I almost killed a man. A man with a loving wife and two children. It's not what I was about to do, what I could have done... No, what I would have done, that eats at me. It's the thought of what I'd leave behind"</strong>Amaya's arms returned to the balcony railing.<strong>"The guilt of thinking I was seconds away from leaving his wife a widow and his children forever waiting is what burns the most. I'm not going to claim he was a good man, however, it doesn't mean his family would have deserved it"</strong><br/><br/>Another deep sigh breathed out through Amaya's nose.<strong>"His wife actually visited me in the hospital one day"</strong>Amaya said calmly, almost a bit optimistically.<strong>"She broke one of my ribs and told me she wished I had died that day. I guess she really did love him, I don't think I've ever met a woman that hit as hard as she did. To think such an act would be possible in a modern hospital, bizarre, no?"</strong><br/><br/>Amaya's drier tone made a quick return however.<strong>"I fear the unknown more than anything. I hate waking up and wondering what the day will bring, because you never know. I fear of days of the past just as much as those of the future. Between shattered bones, burn-marks, scars and whatever worse you can imagine, there's no place left in the world for people like you and me. The world is designed for those who fit into it, that doesn't encompass me, nor does it you. Perfection isn't subjective, it's objective. It's a collective opinion, and the collective opinion is that things should have stayed the way they were. When a brightly colored card describes you better than your own tongue, then what does it matter"</strong><br/><br/>Amaya leaned over to pick up the wet towel Megumi had brought out, using the cleaner side to dry her eyes.<strong>"But, I have no desire to die. I won't have any legacy, nobody I leave behind, all that will be left will be a donor-card that can hopefully help someone else"</strong>And with that, Amaya was done. She had nothing left to say, anything of interest had been said.<strong>"Thank you... For listening to me. I appreciate it, I really do. Sometimes it's just nice to talk for a bit. I don't normally like to talk about my issues, but... I figured if there's anyone it'd be alright to tell, it'd be you"</strong><br/><br/>And with that, she gently took Megumi's hand and started to lead her back inside so they wouldn't catch a cold.<br/><br/><strong>"Also, I wanted to apologize, for earlier today. I shouldn't have, what should I call it... Tried to push myself on to you, it was not cruelly meant in any way. You're a beautiful girl in every thinkable way, don't ever let anyone say otherwise, but I'll leave you alone, it's understandable that your predicament would desire other traits than just physical"</strong><br/><br/>Amaya shut the door to the balcony, making sure it was properly closed. She bit her lip yet again.<strong>"I really mean it... It's not just something I'm saying. I'm sorry, I put you in a very tough position due to my own selfishness, so please, don't think ill of me for it"</strong>