<div align="center">(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/Night%20Vale/WTNVBanner_zps8c3bd98d.jpg)</div><br/>Ten minutes late in this world is better than ten minutes early in the next. If you're early, they may believe you to be the coming of a god or an alien species. They will either worship you or kill you. You should not risk the consequences...<br/><br/>Welcome to Night Vale.<br/><br/>Health is important to us all. The health of Night Vale's citizens is of the utmost importance for many reasons. Many rituals and holidays in our fare berg depend on your health. As such, the Greater Night Vale Medical Community has an announcement they would like me to make. It was slipped under my door late last night and since writing utensils are banned in the wonderful city of Night Vale, I just had to follow the instructions due to the pain that must have went into constructing a writing device that is non-pen like and what is obviously blood for ink.<br/><br/>That said, I want to add the disclaimer that I do not agree with these instructions, because I dislike that asshole Dr. Montgomery.<br/><br/>Ahem...<br/><br/>The announcement reads as such...<br/><br/><strong><em>The Greater Night Vale Medical Community would like to announce the opening of our newest sponsored facility! The wonderfully talented and highly recommended Dr. James Montgomery and his beautiful Nurse Abigale Norwick...</em></strong><br/><br/>I'm sorry...talented? Beautiful? I do not usually question the Greater Night Vale Medical Community, but have they seen our newest city inhabitants? The only wonderfully talented and beautiful person in Night Vale is Carlos. Wonderful Carlos. Dr. Montgomery, in my opinion, should feel lucky that the explosion that did not happen last week did not injure Carlos' perfectly shaped face or burn is wonderful hair.<br/><br/>Anyway...<br/><br/><strong><em>Dr. James Montgomery is an OB/GYN...</em></strong><br/><br/>Is it really necessary to discuss that on live radio? Perhaps I'm just being bias.<br/><br/><strong><em>He has references from all over the country and more than half of them are un-bribed, non-political generated, and of people from this century. That's quite the resume, if you ask us. Dr. Montgomery officially join our Medical Community last week through our usual means of union joining. This, as we all know, involves rather intricate voodoo ritual dances. Dr. Montgomery managed his ritual without a single misstep, which is amazing considering that if you do misstep, you will be swallowed up by the earth; which is why Night Vale is in such need of good doctors. The lovely Nurse Abigale Norwick beat out a perfect drumming ritual for the doctor to perform to. It was a sight to behold.</em></strong><br/><br/>I was there. It wasn't that great. I'm sure my listeners would agree that it would have been best for the earth to open and swallow them both up. I'm pretty sure those were Desert Bluffs moving company who helped move in Dr. Montgomery's equipment.<br/><br/><strong><em>We are also very, very proud to announce that Dr. Montgomery is going to be head of the Night Vale Medical Board!</em></strong><br/><br/>WHAT?!<br/><br/>Ahem...listeners, please give me a moment to compose myself while Intern Charles gets me some coffee, let's go to...<br/><br/><div align="center">(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/Night%20Vale/WTNVWeather_zps422eb55f.jpg)<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4gPZPKJc0s<br/>(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/Night%20Vale/WTNVWeather_zps422eb55f.jpg)</div><br/>To the Family and friends of Charles the intern: we regret to inform you that your son and friend was lost in the line of community radio duty, and that he will be missed, and never forgotten. As for the nature of his death, while this is a family radio show, I feel does need to be stated. It was his first day on the job and he'd never got coffee before, nor did we have any other interns on staff today to show him how to do it.<br/><br/>We've set up a memorial station near the coffee maker in his honor. Please feel free to stop by and say a few words for him.<br/><br/>We're starting to run low on Interns here at Night Vale Community Radio. If you have any friends, please tell them to come sign up! We are always looking for bright, young minds to take under our wings and other extra appendages that humans do not usually possess.<br/><br/><div align="center">(http://static.tumblr.com/793412a5d31a4abc91838f7feac4a905/ezzavt0/I9Hmpt1re/tumblr_static_imageedit_2_3412527855.png)</div><br/>We take applications year round! It's a great way to get credits towards all your mandatory citizen volunteer hours and all Night Vale Community Radio interns are exempt from being chosen as someone's Valentine come Valentines Day! Now who doesn't want that? In fact, we plan on having an Intern Recruitment Event here at the Radio Station soon. Be on the look out of heavily veiled clues as to the date and time of this event.<br/><br/>Now back to our announcement from the The Greater Night Vale Medical Community.<br/><br/><strong><em>Our new Medical Board president, Dr. Montgomery, has stated that his practice of being an OB/GYN is no longer limited to women. Nor is it limited to just men either. All genders are welcomed in his warehouse facility across the street from Big Rico's Pizza. All first time patients will receive a free slice of Big Rico's Pizza. All first visits are quick and painless. Nurse Abigale Norwick is a wonder with a needle. She'll have your blood drawn before you even realize that she's in the room with you. <br/><br/>Why would someone other than a woman need to visit an OB/GYN you ask? That's just silly. Why would you ask that? If our Medical Board President, Dr. Montgomery, says it's good for you, then you should really follow his advice. After all, he's a doctor.</em></strong><br/><br/>Well, there you have it dear listeners. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about all of this. I shall have to ask Carlos when we go out on our date tonight. He says it's not a date, but I insist that it is because I plan on having dinner and dinner means a date. Half a date. We'll count it as half a date, since he probably won't be eating. We're making great progress in that area. Site management would prefer I not discuss my personal life in great length. At least that's what I'm understanding by the baby octopus that always seems to appear wiggling around in the bottom of my coffee cup whenever I say the name 'Carlos'.<br/><br/>...<br/><br/>Carlos. Oh, there are two now.<br/><br/>...<br/><br/>Carlos. Three. They are quite adorable, Listeners. You should really see them.<br/><br/>Carlos, Carlos, Carlos, Carlos...Just look at them all. It's like a sea of little red octopus in my coffee.<br/><br/>Carlos, Carlos, Carlos, Carlos, Carlos...The cup is overfilling now, Listeners. They are so adorable. They are climbing their way out of my coffee cup and crawling over my desk.<br/><br/><div align="center">(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/Night%20Vale/f38f7ef7-6fd7-43f7-a8c9-174f8d1fcc8e_zps7515ec71.jpg)</div><br/>Night Vale Community Radio Station would like to announce that we are giving away baby octopus! Please stop by after this broadcast to adopt one of these beautiful little creatures. Surely they are not the offspring of our Site Management and will not grow up to overtake us one day. They are much too adorable to do something like that. So please stop by and adopt a Carlos Octopus. Those that are not adopted may be subject to being fed to our station pet cat Khoshekh. We can't afford to have more than one pet, so the sacrifice will need to be made.<br/><br/>Now for the<strong>Community Calendar</strong>...<br/><br/>It is the beginning of the Holiday season. You all know what that means...Decoration Time! Decorations may only be put up between the hours of 5am and 6am tomorrow morning and must promptly be removed by 6:15am. You must use the whole hour to decorate, but only 15 minutes to remove them. Any decorations covering less than half of the home you inhabit will attract the Christmas Goblins...*cough*...Elves. Christmas Elves. With their sharp, cold, black, and soulless eyes. The Sheriff's Secret Police cannot guarantee the return of those taken by the Elves.<br/><br/>Wednesday, the World Government Helicopters will fly over our lovely city three times as they always do on December 3rd. They will be mind sweeping citizens. They say that we should be used to this by now and if we suffer from any neurological damages they will not be held liable for it starting with this sweep. No one is exempt from mind sweeps, especially not that new girl in town. You know who you are. I know who you are. We all know who you are....<br/><br/>Thursay! we are happy to announce here at our little family that Night Vale's very own Jez Orlot, who's father can be seen every Tuesday night staring up into the night sky and screaming in an ancient language known only to founding families, will be making her very first broadcast! I, for one, am very excited about this. I've been saying for years that Night Vale needs someone they can receive advice from about their personal lives through a media outlet. Those silly fortune tellers can't hold that market to themselves anymore!<br/><br/>Friday is potluck day sponsored by Night Vale Community Radio Station! Big Rico's Pizza has been kind enough to allow us to use their restaurant this year! Oh happy day! So please stop by and enjoy the food made by our wonderful staff here at Night Vale Community Radio. Big Rico's Pizza will be donating not only their restaurant to us for the night, but pizza as well. So if you're terrible at cooking, as many people here in Night Vale are because we really should only be eating the food made with the special formulas approved by our City Council and Food Board, have no worries about bringing something to eat. There will be plenty of pizza.<br/><br/>Saturday...I'm not sure Saturday exists this week. I shall have Jez let you know once we find out.<br/><br/>And Sunday is Dot Day! We all know what this means. It's time to make those hard choices on which of your friends you like more than the others and which of your children is your favorite.<br/><br/>In closing...Please come adopt one of these adorable baby octopus. Adopt them, so I don't have to feed them to our cat.<br/><br/>Good night, Night Vale, good night.