<div align="center">(https://s25.postimg.cc/j3g1yz9wv/SIDEQUEST_2clear.png)</div><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 18pt;">:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: ••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: </span></div><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><div align="center">(https://orig00.deviantart.net/4ae9/f/2016/288/3/7/lonelyfire_by_kirokaze-dal2la5.gif)</div><br/><br/><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;">Oh! Hello! I didn't see you standing there. You'll forgive me, my eyes aren't what they used to be. Well then, you don't look like you're in a hurry, are you? No? Since it seems that you don't have anywhere you need to be, sit for a moment and keep my old bones company. Yes, that stump there will do nicely, I think. Well then, traveler, what would you like to do with our time together? I know! You can help me sort my toenail clipping collection! Doesn't that sound like... oh, I see you don't like that idea. Well, it's not for everyone. Let me think a moment. I do have that sack of pussberries that needs peeling. I'm pretty sure I have another set of dragon hide gloves around here somewhere. They can leave some painful boils if you...  yes, well, they -are- an acquired taste, I'll give you that. Hmmmm... I'm trying to think here. I don't often get company, you know. I remember now! How about you could do me a favor and inspect this weird lump I have found on my inner thigh? My back is rather stiff and I can't bend down, you see? It could kill a few minutes at least. Oh hey, wait! Don't go! I'm sure we can find something agreeable if you'll just give me a moment! <br/><br/>I've got it! No, really. I mean it this time. How would you like to hear a story? It's a good one, I promise. What's that? No, I don't believe so. What is a "C Y O A"? Is it some sort of warlock music? You kids and your crazy new age music! Just sounds like a lot of noise to me! But then again, I am old. Just give me a lute and a bard any day. You know, when I was your age I used to follow this one... what's that? Oh! Right, yes! I nearly forgot. Your story. Well, sit back down, sit back down. I won't bite ya. Don't really got any teeth left, see? Salamanders, however... They'll bite ya. Leave nasty little blisters, too. Well, I only mention cause they're in the fire behind you. Now, don't panic! I fed them yesterday so they should be fine. <br/><br/>So, ya want a story, huh? Well, I know a fair few stories. At my age you tend to collect them, ya see? Well, that and warts. So, I think I'm gonna tell you the tale of UpperWestSide Earth. It's a great adventure. A collection of three stories, to be exact but a bit long and sort of tedious. Perfect if you've got nowhere to be and nothing to do... Oh, you've heard it already, have you? Yes, well, I suppose it is quite popular so can't say I'm really surprised.  Let me think now... How about the Donkey, The Librarian, and the Outhouse? I think you'll really enjoy the... I do suppose you have a point. I guess some would consider it a childhood classic. Though it was rather dark I always thought. I can see you're not a child so perhaps that wasn't the best fit in hindsight. How about something a bit more grown up, then? It's not the most elegant story I know and the plot is kinda shitty, but some folks seem to like it. I call it Thirty-Seven Shades of Off White. It's a story of a naive girl discovering a culture portrayed in the worst and most inaccurate way... now, don't give me that look! Some people really do like it! I mean, yes, I could tell from looking at you that you were smarter than that but one never knows unless you try, you know? Difficult to tell what people are into these days. I've met some weird folks in my time. <br/><br/>You're not making this easy for me, are you? I can see you're going to be a difficult one to please. That's alright, at my age there aren't too many more challenges left for me other than managing the stairs and listening to young people talk about, well, just about everything, really. Now this story I haven't told anyone before. It's about a real-life family but, if I'm honest, I'm not entirely sure I remember all the details, so it'll be an adventure for both of us. You may have to help me come up with the bits I can't remember. Do you mind helping an old soul out a little? Marvelous! You can come up with a title for it as well. I really do hate coming up with those and I'm rather rubbish at it, I've discovered. <br/><br/>So... are you ready for me to begin?</span></div><br/><br/><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;">•┈┈┈••✦ <strong><span class="bbc_u">Main Menu</span></strong> ✦••┈┈┈┈┈┈•</span></div><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 18pt;">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Return To Start (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 18pt;">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Credits (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=152220.0) Credits (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=279631.0) Credits (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=264183.0) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 18pt;">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Official Game Soundtrack (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 18pt;">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Skip Cutscene (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=291957.msg14333403#msg14333403) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><br/><br/><br/><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;">Cradled by mountains and nestled in forests was the Kingdom of Hyrune, a vast stretch of land as steeped in magic as it was in superstition. Perched on the coastline was the glittering gem in the crown of the country known simply as the City of Wands. I realize it is not the most creative name for a city known far and wide throughout the land as the center for all magical learning in the kingdom, but it's the best I could come up with, alright? If you must know, I can't remember the real name. If you start getting picky now then this is going to take a very long time indeed! Honestly, are you this picky of an eater?<br/><br/>Anyway, you could find all manner of things and persons within it's shimmering pearlescent gates. The flow of trade in and out was a constant blur of merchants, adventurers, pirates and peasants as they streamed through roads and waterways like an army of ants. Anything you wanted could be found and purchased there, for a price of course. The marketplaces were overflowing with potions, spells, magic clothing and more! I once met a witch that had charmed a pair of knickers to make your ass look amazing. Pity the spell wore off the moment they hit the floor. But if ya just pulled'em to the side, you see... the spell would stick and... Okay, okay. I'll get on with it. <br/><br/>It wasn't just the trinkets that brought people to Wands. Their healers were second to none, having a single one in your army could turn the tides of war in your favor! With the wave of a single hand, their wizards and sorcerers could lay waste to as many soldiers as an entire company of archers. Any of their armored forces, paladins or mage knights, were a force to be reckoned with. The combined might was too powerful for any one King or Queen to possess and so, the City of Wands was governed not by a single Monarch but by a council made up the wisest and brightest of their order. Seventeen in all, to be exact. Human, Elves, Dwarves, Gnomes, and the like. I think they had a Dryad once, but I heard she died when they went on holiday for 100 years and someone forgot to water her.  My point is, these seventeen were the ones to governed their society in matters both small and great. Everything from which Kings and Queens to aid to which toilet paper was put in the apprentice's bathrooms. Well, that's probably an exaggeration, they had minions for that, I'm sure. But you get the idea. They had their noses in every potion bottle. <br/><br/>Each member of this council was highly respected as were any of their family. To belong to one of these prominent households carried significant weight in the community, as well as responsibility. Those lucky enough o be born into one had a quality of life that all but the most elite among them would envy. It is with one of these families that my story begins. Well, sort of. Really, just two members. Which, is a good thing cause most of the rest of'em are uptight prigs, but you get that with those holier than thou types after all. <br/><br/>The Evenember family was born to a life in the holy light and one of the oldest of these pompous families. Their pretentious coat of arms is a collection of swords, holy symbols, and rays of sunlight. They thought really highly of themselves. Being born into this family meant that your destiny was chosen for you from the moment your mother heaved you from her loins. If ye were born a boy then the hard study and physical training is what awaited ya for all the men in this line were sculpted into the finest paladins in the realm. In fact, they have their own quarters in the barracks all decked out in the finest beddings and tapestries. Did I mention they are all pretentious? Prats, all of em... Yes, sorry. So, what of the girls, you ask? It has been a long-standing belief that there was something in their genes that made the priestesses of the Evenember line superior above all others. <br/><br/>You could always spot an Evenember just by lookin' at'em. All of them, every last one had the same pale skin and purple-blue eyes. Hell, even their hair was so black it was almost sapphire. Not that you needed that, mind you. You could usually tell an Evenember by their sharp features and the stuck up expressions most of them carried around all god damn day. As if that weren't bad enough, they always wore their house colors. Never seen a family so proud to have their asses wiped by holy light and yet still dress like a bunch of undertakers. Always, I'm not kidding! Purple, blue, silver and black. Lots of black. That's all they ever wore. Never understood it, myself, musta gotten real hot for 'em. Maybe that's why they were so pale?. There was nothing special or unique about their family line. They were the same cookie cutter faces and clothing for as long as anyone could remember. <br/><br/>Tolan Evenember, his wife Opalie.. Opale-y... I can never remember how she pronounced it. It was pompous, though, I promise you that. Anyway, they had themselves six kids in all and each one had to deal with the weight of their family on their shoulders. The eldests were a boy and girl, twins. Both made their parents proud by joining their expected professions and excelling as everyone expected them to. The next two boys after did the same as well. Each one making a fine paladin worthy of the name and yet, nothing noteworthy. They too wore those stupid tunics and banners like every Evenember that came along before. Really, there was nothing to set one of them apart from the others. They were all the same height, just about, all slender and graceful. All, that was, until the youngest came along. <br/><br/>The girl, it seemed, was a spirited thing and never hesitated to speak her mind. Loudly and often, which just wasn't done in that family. She never quite developed a sense of social awareness or an understanding of the correct order of things. She idolized her older brothers, proud to be a member of such a prominent and noble family. That was until she learned she would not be allowed to follow in their footsteps. From that first awkward conversation with her father, she butted heads with him pretty much every day since. That must have been an odd sensation for Tolan, that smug git... embarrassed in public by his own daughter pitching fits about wanting plate mail and swords at the top of her squeaky little voice. The idea of a daughter of his wanting to fight? He was livid. It was the only time I saw him with any color in his cheeks. I never understood what the big deal was, myself. I mean, it's not like she wanted to be a warlock or worse, a lawyer. <br/><br/>Oh, what was her name again? By the gods, I would forget my own nethers were attached if I didn't have to relieve myself so often...</span></div><br/><br/><div align="center">(https://orig00.deviantart.net/2cdf/f/2016/137/f/4/yennefer_by_enshanlee-da2rw1x.jpg)</div><br/><div align="center">{Please Select Character Name}</div><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">S</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">O</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">P</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">H</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">I</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">A</span></span></div><div align="center">{Press Enter to Confirm}</div><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;">Sophia! That's right, I remember her now. Sophia Madelyn Evenember! She hated her name. Mainly because her brothers would tease her from a very young age about her temper, adopting the nickname of "So Mad" for their headstrong little sister. <br/><br/>Her angry outbursts became something of a joke around town. That the bucket had finally hit the bottom of the family well and come up dry. Sure, she had the signature Evenember hair and eyes, pale skin and sharp features but that, it would seem, is where the connection to her great family ended. They had hoped it was a phase. That she would grow up and accept her role as proud priestess, but from the very beginning of her education into the art, she proved to be a... difficult student. <br/><br/>Like all of the children of her name for generations, they were educated in private on the great family estate. Too good for the rest of us in regular school, they had fancy book learning that most scholars would only dream of. The same tutor had trained all of Tolan's children without complaint until it came time to train his youngest.  Rumor had it he only lasted four years. She had developed her father's temper, you see, but neither one of her parents ability to crush their daughters dream fully for the sake of the family. They tried gently to ease her into reality but she just fought them all the way. This seemed to only intensify the older the girl got, even if she reluctantly went through her schoolin', she could still be found sneaking out at night with her companion and getting into bar fights much later in her life.<br/><br/>That wasn't the only trouble they got into... I'm sorry? What other sibling? Six, you say? Oh, right! Good memory you've got there! Yes, I guess I did mention six. I said that all the Evenember children had dark black hair, yeah? Well, all but one, though, technically speaking not all of'em were Evenembers.</span> </div><br/><br/><div align="center">(https://orig00.deviantart.net/89ed/f/2016/143/a/3/triss_merigold_by_enshanlee-da3lbsr.jpg)</div><br/><div align="center">{Please Select Character Name}</div><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">L</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">E</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">S</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">N</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">I</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">Y</span></span> <span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 24pt;"><span class="bbc_u">A</span></span></div><div align="center">{Press Enter to Confirm}</div><br/><div align="center"><span class="bbc_size" style="font-size: 14pt;">Oh right... how could I forget such a unique name? It was Lesniya Vae, and she was such a pretty little thing. If I'm recallin' the rumors right, she was a Terrastone. Though, I never knew much about that family. Wasn't from 'round Wands, don't think. <br/><br/>She stuck out like a socially awkward eunuch in a brothel when they all went out in public together. Vivid red hair and vibrant green eyes, the little girl looked like a breath of warm summer air next to the cold and void of personality Evenember family, but just how she came to be under their care was a mystery. There was plenty of speculation, however, as I'm sure you could imagine! The most common one being that ole' Opaily..whatever her name was again... well, that she finally figured out how to uncross her legs for someone other than a frigid-dicked old codfish like Tolan. While the speculations were far funnier than the truth they were also quite far from what I heard was the actual reason. They kept it real quiet but apparently she was the daughter of a friend of the family. Which, if ya ask me, is more shockin' than the notion of Ofalie boinking the doctor, mainly cause I never figured anyone could stand Tolan long'nuff to call him a friend. I can't imagine he was any less insufferable in his youth than he was at any point in his life. <br/><br/>The girl, Lesniya, turned out to be just a couple a years shy of Sophia, and that would seem to be where the likenesses ended. Where Sophie was loud, impatient and stubborn, little Lesniya was still, quiet and about as sweet as spun sugar. Many wondered if she would join the proud family ranks of holy wielders but much to folk's surprise, that ended up not being the case. She grew up trained in the devastating arcane arts of combat magic and tutored by some of the best battle mages that gold could buy. Personally, I'm surprised Tolan didn't try and force the girl like he did his own, but I suppose a gift is a gift. If it's in your blood, what can you do but not squander it?  You'd think that would annoy the baby of the family, having someone in the house allowed to do something other than sit through boring priest classes all day. But, as it turned out, quite the opposite happened. Sophia was eager to have a friend, one that was ignorant of her family's prejudice and rigid frame of thinking. She found a confidant and companion in the little redhead and in turn, Lesniya found comfort and security. <br/><br/>It was awkward at first, I'm sure, but the two girls found that they were the only ones that seemed to understand one another. That neither of their lives had gone according to their own plans. It would end up being the foundation of a very strong bond they would share and soon you found that the two became quite inseparable. Old Tolan had hoped, I'm sure, that little Lesniya's sweet and soft disposition would rub off on his abrasive and mouthy daughter. You see, despite their differences, Tolan loved his youngest fiercely and would come to regard their new addition with the same deep admiration. He would always find some excuse for them to get out of trouble and it didn't take the girls long to figure this out. Before long they had learned to wield the family patriarch as skillfully as a swordmaster with a custom crafted blade. <br/><br/>Oh, it didn't take much. A trembling lower lip here, a bat of the eyelashes there and somehow sweets would magically turn up in their pockets or bedtimes would be conveniently forgotten. As they got older, Tolan found himself dismissing their sneaking out of the house at night or sneaking people, namely boys, in. He would dismiss the rumors and complaints from the staff as the girls were rapidly catapulted into puberty's loving, full-bosomed embrace. Surely, his denial was about as large as the stick up his amazingly narrow ass and it wasn't until he stumbled upon his girls at the tender age of sixteen trying to hide two boys in their wardrobe that the notion his little girls might not be so perfect and chaste finally dawned on him. <br/><br/>The harder he tried to keep the young men out the more crafty the two girls became on how to sneak them in. Word was that Lesniya was the really clever one on these ventures but often lacked the guts to follow through. Sophia, however, was wreckless and more than willing and unapologetic in the executions of such plans. They even managed to convince a pair of eager lads to throw caution to the wind and allow the two of them to dress them up like girls, corsets and full makeup, mind you, and try to bring them in for a sleepover. If one of the elder brothers hadn't recognized the dresses as belonging to Sophia they might have managed it. From that point onward security got very tight at the family manor, making it all but impossible for any of the girl's many many admirers to get inside the house or inside the girls too, for that matter. <br/><br/>Well, that seemed to do the trick. That is, it did for a little while. I suppose it was difficult to sit still on those lonely nights when your panties are coursing with hormones, not that I've had any experience with that. My knickers are dryer than scorpions scrotum. Oh, sorry? Visuals too much with that? I apologize... Anyway! The girls must have gotten a bit stir crazy on those lonely nights because soon they were sneaking out of the family compound. Why were they so eager to get out, you ask? Well, the girls were smart, too smart perhaps, and it didn't take them long to realize their father was not the only man they could bend to their will. While Tolan had gotten wise to their behavior the girls had gotten enough practice on him to hon their skills of manipulation and had begun taking aim at the men of the city. <br/><br/>The tools of their trade were different now though. Evolving with their puberty. A swing of curvy hips would replace the quiver of a bottom lip and a well-timed mashing of cleavage earned more than big puppy dog eyes. Before long they had more admirers than they could deal with and the task of juggling them became somewhat of a chore. On more than one occasion the girls found they would have to split up in order to keep the men int he dark. It was at this stage Tolan and his wife got desperate to try to stem the flow of filthy, unladylike behavior the two managed to get themselves into and cut both the girls off from their allowances, expecting that the lack of funds would be a harsh reality for them. They had both underestimated the girls, it seemed.<br/><br/>Their pockets and purses were overflowing with the trinkets and bobbles their admirers bestowed upon them. Enough that the severance from family money was not a concern and that's saying something. Jewels, clothing, perfumes, even pets would fill the girl's chambers or litter the family doorstep. More than just tribute would start to pile up around the family's foundation, rumors had been building that the girls were high paid prostitutes and con artists as skilled at freeing money from men as a butcher carving meat from bone. <br/><br/>Tolan and his wife were doing their best to locate respectable suitors to marry the girls but they were having a damn hard time finding any man of quality that hadn't already heard of the girls rather... rambunctious reputations. Lesniya and Sophia were now barely in their twenties as their father desperately worked to repair some of the damage the girls and their overly active loins had caused to his name when the straw finally landed, breaking the back of the very uptight, pinched-faced camel. <br/><br/>You could hear the shouting and swearing and wailing dancing from rooftop to rooftop as the head of the city militia dragged the girls to their family's door at three in the morning. He had caught the pair of them in the soldier's barracks, the little redhead lounging in the laps of two soldiers and Sophia face first in the groin of the captain of the guard. The two girls stood before their father on the threshold of their prestigious home, Lesnyia's cheeks almost as red as her hair and Sophia standing proud, hickeys on full display along her slender throat and explained themselves. The reluctant priestess, as it turned out, was exchanging blowjobs for sword lessons and the family ward had gone along to keep a lookout, as she often did. <br/><br/>The row that took place was a thing of legend and I'm pretty sure limericks about it are carved into many a tavern outhouse around town. Now, I'm not sure of the particulars but the end result was quite clear. The girls were allowed to return in the morning and collect some clothing and food but until they had learned their place and how to act respectable they were no longer welcome in the home they had grown up in. The very next day the girls were spotted selling off much of the gifts they had accumulated over the years, hoarding their money for the unknown ahead. <br/><br/>They weren't very sensible at first, then again, who is at their age, spending it on lavish rooms and the decadent food they were accustomed too, but all wells must eventually run dry. An unwelcome side effect of their very public exile was that each of the special and unique men they had enthralled realized just how special and unique everyone else had been to the girls as well. The quality of inns they would stay at was a direct correlation to the number of men that had gotten wise to the pairs game and before long, they realized they had to do something. <br/><br/>It couldn't be too hard, after all, to make a living. Both trained in the art of spellcraft, one a talented mage and the other a skilled healer. So what could be the problem then, you ask? Well, as it turns out you're not much good without the certification and since they were booted from their home, neither one had managed to get serious enough about their education to complete it. Hell, they didn't even know the first thing about cooking or cleaning or tailoring so that basically left them with two options. They could be tavern wenches, an idea that had the pair of them wrinkling their noses in disgust, or... they could make their own way taking the odd job around town for money. It is common knowledge that you can find work in pretty much any tavern in any city or village in the land. Usually, there's some sort of board with the random task or request for pay posted and the girls knew just where to look. <br/><br/>Tucked away in the forests that surrounded Wands, there was one such village barely a days walk from the pearly magical gates the girls had known as home. Pewtershire. Known as a frequent stop along the trading routes for wanderers and adventurers alike who preferred the quaint country feel over the extravagant walls of the mage's city. Within the thatched rooftops and muddy streets was a pub with a colorful reputation known by all the locals within one hundred square miles... or kilometers... or leagues... I forget the measurements. Really, it makes no sense to me. Why doesn't everyone just get on the same page... Yes, yes, sorry, sorry! look, I'm old, okay? You youngins are so impatient. <br/><br/>The pub in question was named "The Wayward Princess" and the owner was almost as bizarre as the establishment itself. On any night you could find patrons drunkenly dancing in their knickers on tables or sitting around the fire talking about how things were in the good old days. Don't even ask me about the rooms upstairs. I can tell you the sheets were rarely washed. I still have nightmares about the toilets, too. There were two things the locals knew would never change about the place. First, never under any circumstances eat the beef stroganoff.. and two, old Rumtung, the owner, would always be willing to pay ten silver for ten rat tails. Why he did this, no one ever knew, nor did anyone know what was done with said rat tails upon delivery. Not sure I wanna know, to be honest with ya. Might explain the stroganoff, now that I put the two together. <br/><br/>He was a peculiar man in his request. It always had to be ten exactly. You couldn't, say, bring him eight tails and get eight silver. It always had to be ten. No more, no less. Not just any old tails, either! No, he wanted the tails of a very particular rat that inhabited the caves in the foothills near the village. How he could always spot a fake was beyond me. Rather a strange hobby, if you ask. What's that? Yes, well my toenails aren't that strange, you know? Some of them belonged to well-known wizards and saints. Some of them are blessed! I have one from a famous lady of the evening too. Still has some red paint on it. <br/><br/>Ten silver wasn't much, but after the girls had used their remaining cash to purchase some ill-fitting gear and provisions, it would be enough to see them through with room and questionable food for a week and give them time to think. So they headed out from Pewtershire towards the mountains early one morning figuring they could easily get the ten and perhaps triple that number and figure out what they were going to do about their situation. <br/><br/>They were a mage and wannabe fighter, after all...  How hard could it be, really? Killing ten little defenseless rodents. They'd figured they'd be back in time to still enjoy afternoon luncheon. </span></div>