<em>~ Nicci, in Mari's room, girl talk and chocolates ~</em><br/><br/><br/>Nicci, agreed it was all topsy turrvy, coming into a situation where people knew you wanted to not only live a poly amorous lifestyle but even more that - you came to try and actually take part in it with them.  It was like a few people sitting round a pub table deciding that they were going to set up home together the first time they met.<br/><br/>She smiled to herself as she sipped her hot chocolate, the image of a few of her colleagues in her mind and how they would react if she suggested such a thing.  The difference was , she supposed, the careful testing and selection that happened before they chose them all.  And that thought comforted her a little, she'd already found she was drawn to all five of them, when had that ever happened before?  Something was right, very right, for that to happen, she only hoped the others felt the same.<br/><br/>When it came to Bo though, it was hard to explain that just as much as she had fallen for him she was also tied up in knots, scared of opening up what she had done before.<br/><br/>Glancing up just for a moment before looking down at her hands cupping the warm mug she tried to explain, "It happened rather suddenly, one moment I was dancing, connecting with him in a way that, was....... well.... unexpected.  Then I said or did something that seemed to open up a well of bitterness and sadness, he looked at me as if I was........." she swallowed, feeling once again the shock and pain as he looked at her with such bleak anger, "..I was... well he looked, distant, hard, angry with me and hurt at what I had done."<br/><br/>She took another sip, and then looked up, it was really awful, I was so shaken when we walked back to everyone, I thought that I should go home, that I had already done something irrevocably wrong."  she shook her head a little, "It got better gradually, I think perhaps him sitting down the other end of the table helped - I wasn't a constant reminder to him and it gave him time to work over what ever it was I did."<br/><br/>"When he said he was an ex-soldier it made a little more sense, back home, well...... the community and youth center I do work for, there are men, well boys really, who come back from their service with deep wounds, ones that don't show.  And we, we try to help them, and some of them even help others and work with the disadvantaged kids on the estate."<br/><br/>"I do like Bo, a lot, but I also feel that it might take longer with him that the others for him to be truly polyamorus and, well, happy with himself and able to reveal the parts of him that may need healing."<br/><br/>"You know," she said looking across at Mari, "I was just thinking that one of the things that does make this so special and even it is a bit topsy-turvy the way we are meeting, I've never been attracted to three men so quickly or drawn to two women ever before – so maybe the psychologists know more than we realise and their choices mean we have a better chance of making this work than in any other way."<br/><br/>She shrugged, "Well, I know all three men pull me in different ways, I can;t help but be drawn to Vince's quirky charm and even more his.......his experience, and - oh God? Did you see those boots?  Soooo sexy, " she laughed softly, jeez he really did set off some of those darker currents inside her, she could sense the deeper ones running through him and knew just what they did to her.  "And Marcus, who wouldn't fall for that calm, sexy power that he seems to hold in such a gentle grasp, you want to kneel at his feet and grant his every wish."  She blushed slightly, as she realised how much she was saying and how her tongue was running away with her, perhaps Cathy had slipped a mickey in this hot chocolate, she'd not meant to say so much.<br/><br/>She shrugged again, reaching out to the bag of truffles and popping one in her mouth, that should shut her up for a while.<br/><br/><br/>