<em>~Mila, after her first night (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=86340.msg4146457#msg4146457) in the castle~</em><br/><br/>Mila quietly slipped into the video diary room, grateful that she hadn't run into anyone else in the halls.  She had awoken early, although not as early as Mari and Nicci had planned to, and found that she was tense from all of the stress of the day before and the anticipation of what the new day would hold.   After an hour of yoga on the floor of her room and a quick shower, she had dressed for the day in a pair of jeans and a blue sweater (http://www.strangefunkidz.com/images/content/155252.jpg).  Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she wondered what the other women would wear, if she was too casual.<br/><br/>She wasn't sure if she was supposed to be in here yet, but she felt like talking about her nervousness would be better than holding it in, so she'd decided to try it out.  Fumbling with the equipment, she turned it on like Miss Taylor had taught her and then sat down in the comfortable chair with the camera pointed at it.  "Uh, I'm going to assume I did that right, and that it's okay that I'm in here."  Her voice was hoarse, so she cleared her throat.  "So, yesterday was kind of an adventure.  The whole day kind of freaked me out a little, but I feel good about being here, like this is where I'm supposed to be.  That's a good thing, right," she said with a nervous little laugh.<br/><br/>"It's hard, not knowing exactly how people feel about you.  I mean, it's so obvious that the guys are all nuts about Nicci, and it's hard not to be jealous of that, you know?"  She shook her head, adding, "I just said that as if someone's going to answer me back.  Well, anyway, I'm not sure what's going to happen today.  I already care about the people here, a lot more than I thought possible in the amount of time we've been here.  I'm a little up in the air about Bo.  I can't read him, he's kind of hot and cold with me.  Until the kissing last night, I thought he didn't have eyes for anyone but Nicole.  And I didn't think he liked me, but he was willing to let me kiss him."  She shrugged a shoulder.  "I think I like him.  I<em>want</em>to like him... I don't know, I guess I need him to like me, too, and I don't know if he will, not like the others."  Dear God, was she fighting tears?<br/><br/>She took a deep breath to compose herself.  "I want this to work.  Really badly.  The others seem to think someone else might be joining us, and that scares me, too.  I mean, what if it doesn't work?  What if the new person leaves us like Vince did?  Marcus called us a family yesterday, but I don't think we are yet.  We're too unsure about things.  I<em>hate</em>how tenuous things seem to be right now, like everything could just fall apart.  I think I knew that this wouldn't be easy, but I hoped it wouldn't be this hard."<br/><br/>She glanced down at the watch on her wrist, an old Fossil with a leather band.  "I should go to breakfast.  I don't want anyone to see that I was already in here.  Oh, and thank you to whoever provided our rooms and this castle for the experiment.  My accommodations are lovely, and very comfortable.  And it's obvious that you guys considered my taste when you furnished the room."<br/><br/>Standing, she moved over to turn the equipment off like Ms. Taylor had shown her.  It was an hour early for breakfast, so she went to see if she could help out anywhere.<br/><br/>~<em>Continued here (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=86351.msg4149749#new)</em>~