- Bo at dinner -<br/><br/>Bo didn't fully realize it until the words were out of his mouth, but "the security of understanding" was really aimed at the others around the table.  His desire to see them become better acquainted in a more genuine manner had been misconstrued by Vince and Mila, and the others seemed to be lining up against him, though more subtly.  Nicci seemed the only one to express any understanding of from where his thought processes had originated, and at first he thought her support, while tactful, was firm.  At least until she excused herself.  His eyes followed her as she walked from the room, a feeling of disappointment wedging itself deep inside.  He couldn't fault her for wanting a break, not really, but her desire to escape the tension only served to leave him alone once again.  Excepting the peacemaker, Marcus.  But in Bo's experience, peacemakers rarely did more than temporarily soothe and wash over issues.  Intent was worth it's weight in dog shit.  Results are all that mattered, and Bo's words had results.  Only time would offer up the full extent of them.<br/><br/>He realized, as he sat there feeling somewhat isolated from the group, that he was beginning to feel angered by their apparent rejection of his honest appeal.  Times in the field when he was forced to survive on his own, mostly in training though once in action, came to mind and he realized that he felt more alone here.  In the field, even alone, in the back of his mind he knew that there was someone out there with his best interest in mind willing to sacrifice everything to secure his safety and doing everything within their power to do so.  Here, though the risk to life was non-existent, the feeling of being cut-off without a lifeline to support was greater.  His natural, and immediate response, was to began to feel angered by the others turning against him.  He knew these feelings weren't productive to the relationship that they were trying to form, and he hoped that he would feel better by the morning, but for now there was a turbulent storm just starting to brew beneath the surface.<br/><br/>For the sake of his mission here, he would try to push those feelings to the side.  Later, when time and distance had perhaps given him a different perspective, he would take some alone time to think things through more clearly.  In the meantime, he put on his best smile and air of relaxed certainty as he realized that the peacemaker had just asked Mari a remarkably inane question and barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  Instead, he looked at Mari, ostensively to listen to her reply, but truthfully to give his mind another focus.  He regretted almost immediately his thinking that Marcus's effort at smoothing over the troubled waters was inane, but the frustration inside didn't allow him to process such regrets logically.  Focusing on Mari would hopefully keep him from misdirecting the building storm.  He took a deep breath, very slowly through his nose, so as not to alert the others of his attempt at calming himself.<br/><br/>Fixing his eyes upon Mari proved to be an effective distraction after all.  The manner in which she seemed to shrug off the tension, and playfully respond, even when expressing some measure of recessed pain, helped dull the edges of Bo's frustration.  The turtle had emerged from her shell and found the world around her not so scary after all.  He found his smile becoming less worn.  His focus was intensely aimed at her every movement, as he used that distraction in an effort to calm the building storm, so when her tongue darted out to capture the last taste of chocolate from her spoon it was as if he saw the act in slow motion.  The effect was profound, and instant.  As the flame of desire was ignited by her simple, innocent action, the soft shape of her lips, and the sincere look in her eyes, it was followed quickly by a twinge of guilt.  Guilt caused by his lust for another so soon after Nicci had left the room.  He mentally chided himself.  Of course he was going to develop desires for all of these women.  It would be a natural part of this process.  But having his desires shift from one to another so quickly wasn't something that he was use to doing, and he couldn't quite shake the negative twinge which the feelings of isolation only served to intensify.<br/><br/>Looking back to his own dessert, Mari's comment about selling her siblings barely registered in his mind.  Bo was beginning to realize how much of his past life would have to be worked through, and even overcome, in order to fully embrace this new lifestyle.  How much of himself would he have to sacrifice.  What of himself would he be willing to leave behind.  He plucked a raspberry from atop his chocolate mousse, and tossed it into his mouth as his glance went absently across the table to Mila.  She was smiling at him.  In a way that seemed as if she expected some response.  In that moment, he wasn't sure that he could give her what she sought.  Or even that he wanted to.  After the slightest moment of hesitation, he gave her a resigned, apologetic smile that curled up one side of his mouth.  By force of will it included his eyes.<em>  Later,</em>he thought.<em>Just some time and space to work these emotions out alone.  In the meantime, let the feelings be and try to relax, knucklehead. </em><br/><br/>Mila really was quite lovely.<br/><br/><br/><br/>