<strong>Video Diaries</strong><br/><br/>Obviously one of the important themes in my story, when I was designing it, was the way six strangers, if they had the will to work at it, could make a go of coming together polyamorously.  The concept of an arranged marriage in sextuplicate as it were.<br/><br/>Along with that came the difficulties and misunderstandings that were going to arise etc.  Particularly – in my mind – between the three men. The dynamic between a man with two or three women in one poly household - and that of a more communal three men and three women is a much more unusual one – much more.<br/><br/>And of course I made it harder – as if it needed adding to – and made it sub/dom as well!<br/><br/>That is the main reason why I came up with the video diary.  I wanted all the characters to be able to 'speak' their reasons and feelings – firstly  for for the story itself – secondly for Marcus so see and have a chance of working with that inside knowledge ( a way into resolving things and bolstering esteem etc – knowing if there is trouble looming and being able to nip it in the bud too and lots more obviously).  But there was also a third  OOC reason -  to give us as writers a better insight into the minds of the other writers and understand their characters better – and so be able write with  our own  in a well-rounded more informed way  (closer to the way in fact that as if it was being written my one writer – as they would have all the characters in their head and be able to make use of that knowledge in the way the story is moved and plot lines and of course character development opportunities).  I thought in the long run it would make us have more fun collaboratively driving the story forward together.<br/><br/>But that will take time.  We will find out if the idea has any merit I am sure!<br/><br/><strong>Understanding Motivations and Actions</strong><br/><br/>In the meantime we have six characters thrown together who are getting more and more real in our heads and reacting to everything in their own sweet way.  So I would ask that if at any point you are not sure of why someone has written something or need help with understanding it  - ask it directly on the OOC or in PM.  No beating about the bush.  We can take it on the chin!  Well, I take it better on my butt, but hey, that's my problem!<br/><br/>And if you are asked – remember it is not a negative feedback on your character – rather a sign that your co-writers are involved with you, your writing and wanting to be part of your processes etc.<br/><br/><br/><strong>Recent Character Thoughts etc</strong><br/><br/>I have had a chat with Fifth and a brief one with Elina and TS too -  about their characters' reasonings and I know Fifth wants to keep the detail of it for a video diary post and I expect from what TS has said he too will be saying most of it there (ooh I so look forward to our posts in there!)<br/><br/>In the meantime I think it might be helpful to set down  what I think are important reactions  to their three characters and mine........  (and if I have got any of this not quite right from what you said please let me know ! And if Tootsie or Mongoose think any of your characters' reactions may need clarifying – please chip in !)<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><table class="bbc_table"><tbody><tr><td><strong>Vince:</strong><br/><br/>It was assumed that Vinces' romancing and flirting with Mila was also about more. Vince was not happy about that and he felt he needed to protect Mila from that assumption.<br/><br/>The only 2 people that talked about looking for ghosts was Vince and Mila so Bo's statement clearly was a prohibition directed specifically at Vince and Mila.   Nicci, Marcus, Mari agreed with Bo that Vince and Mila should not go chasing ghosts from the house.  There was no indication that it applied to anyone else. That's a problem. To single out a person or the minority in a polyamory unit without a debate and discussion is prejudicial to the team building that is trying to take place.<br/><br/>The group had no right to arbitrarily decide on no contact until the next night without discussion first - and that this was not the right time to even try to put rules in place.<br/><br/>His own experience has led him to believe that for polyamory to work it needs a more co-operative and less hidebound attitude as everyone's needs are going to be different<br/><br/>No-one answered his heartfelt plea not to make rules or decisions of any kind right now and to discuss it in the morning (He didn't seem to understand Nicci was agreeing with him either) <br/><br/>His thoughts about suicide and murder were a metaphor (actually almost exactly as TS suggested to me on YIM when I said I wasn't sure what they meant – they must be on the same wave length!) <br/><br/>That: Either the damage and the tension this arbitrary vote had caused everyone could be fixed  or  That the polyamorous relationships could be murdered in it's infancy by dictating without discussion something which could isolate individuals and prevent the more romantic sexual relationships from developing.</td><td> <strong>Mila</strong><br/><br/>Mila was already stepping out of her comfort zone with the flirting<br/><br/>She felt she had been shot down for it<br/><br/>That Bo assumed she was 'that sort of girl' and was going to jump into bed with Vince<br/><br/>Her baggage means she is too easily taken down a route where she feels put down and not valued<br/><br/>Her background also means aggression in males scares her <br/><br/><strong>Nicci</strong><br/><br/>Nicci agreed it was too soon to make any rules<br/><br/>She wanted everyone to get to now each other more first - And then be open about their fears and needs when they had slept on it<br/><br/>She agrees with Bo theoretically that they need to take things slowly, but she also feels they should do what comes naturally and open themselves up to each other emotionally and physically when ever it feels right.  <br/><br/>She knows she shouldn't – but she also feels that it is a rejection of her from Bo.  That he is disavowing the chemistry she feels is already between them which in some way is her fault and even worse that he might think she is behaving detrimentally to the group</td><td><strong>Bo</strong> <br/><br/>Bo comes to this experiment with an uncertain expectation of success, but a deep hope that the people putting it together would have a real understanding of what makes a group of people compatible, since he feels a need for this type of family relationship.<br/><br/>As the talk at the table turns quickly to sex, even in a suggestive way, he goes back to his roots and his conservative upbringing.  He believes that lasting relationships are built on a foundation of friendship, not sex.  The times he's had a woman sleep with him quickly, he may have enjoyed and even occasionally developed more feelings, but in most cases he was left with a feeling of cheapness, and a lingering doubt about her character.  He not only expects more from this group, but feels more is necessary in order for 6 individuals to truly become a family.  Setting the standard early on seems prudent.<br/><br/>He has already developed a strong connection and desire for Nicci, and a strong interest in learning more about Mari &amp; Mila as well.  Looking at Nicci, he realizes more deeply how much he wants this group to work.  He decides to deepen the sincerity of the conversation by steering it away from the light sexual banter.  His offer to postpone sexual activity was made lightly, but with a honest desire to see relationships develop over the long term.<br/><br/>In his mind, his words were a reaction to the general direction of the conversation, and a desire to change it.  They were not aimed at anyone specifically, and the thought that someone might construe them as an insult, or that he would be implying that anyone was a whore, just didn't enter his mind.<br/><br/>He still feels he was right change the direction of the conversation.  Though the manner in which his words were received was not the manner in which they were given, and he is disappointed in that.  Even beginning to get a little angered inside that such assumptions were made regarding his intent.</td></tr></tbody></table><br/><br/><br/><strong>Finally</strong><br/><br/>I think it will take a while – not only for our characters to bed down, but us to understand each other fully on the ooc – the more we can talk here the more we will learn each others way of using language, how we plan to take our characters forward, feel able to ask questions and support each other.<br/><br/>So please, talk talk talk!<br/><br/>Yeah – I know -not as much as me – I promise to stay quiet for a while and let you guys have a word in edgeways......<br/><br/>well for a few minutes.........<br/><br/>two minutes?............<br/>