Steph took the others hand, letting him help her up, not pulling away. Calming that Loki was okay, that nothing was wrong. Before she processed what he was saying. What? Staring at the man with wide startled eyes.”what? I’m not going anywhere. I love you, just because I have to figure out how- I don’t generally -“she stuttered to a stop as she realized what she had said. A fine trembling in the hand Johnny was holding onto. A fierce need to bolt, to hide from what she’d known and refused to admit. To look at closely because admitting she loved him, that she trusted him not to hurt her, to use that need to be with him against her, she couldn’t handle it. She’d survived her childhood by simply never admitting when something mattered to her, because if nothing touched her heart, it didn’t matter when it was taken away. She’d guarded her heart fiercely, she hadn’t realized when Johnny had snuck in, but he had. “I-I love  you.”she said quietly looking down, and the words sounded rough and like it was hurting something to pry them loose, because everything was a battle for her. She could tell Johnny something she’d known for months, had been flinching away from saying every time he’d said it so simply, so easily. There were times she envied his easy acceptance of being allowed to love that freely. She had to work harder at letting the emotions show.”I’m not going. Anywhere. I needed pace ... I told Tony I was going to go see the horses... I.... I don’t... there were reasons I was okay with not having kids but.... goddamn,”she said her own voice thick with tears now as she realized just how scared she’d made him.”I’ll figure it out. It’s fine. I don’t have to be pregnant, and surely... I can’t fail at having a baby around with all of you here to keep me from messing up right?”she said twitchy and trembling, and looking ready to bolt even as she forced herself to stay where she was.