It had taken Erica weeks to find him, and that was after the months it had taken for her to get permission to even look.  By the time she realized he'd moved a whole state away, her heart was nearly wrung cold.  She had<em>tried</em>to get back sooner.  Desperately, at first, something she'd had to be disciplined for more than once.  Still she'd missed his movements.  Knowing Alfred, he'd gone back to his parents, but she hadn't dared to even search for them online, much less commit surveillance on their house.  She was never supposed to see him again, they'd said.  It was an answer she'd never accepted.<br/><br/>Now, now that she'd found him, was nearing his door, getting closer to him than she'd been in over a year, her emotions overwhelmed her.  Would she recognize him?  He had been about the timeless age where men don't really appear different year to year, whereas she...she might look vastly different to him.  She wished her palms felt clammy, that her heart pounded, that there was some outward sign of her distress.<br/><br/>She stood outside the door, looking at the handwriting on the paper.  It was neat, no mistaking the numbers or letters.  No escape by pretending she'd gotten lost, or transposed the digits.  Still, she hesitated, raising her hand once, then twice, then a third time, still unable to knock.  She had to hurry.  If anyone saw her in the hallway, she'd lose her nerve, not to mention have to deal with a witness.<br/><br/>At the thought of another person, her mind raced through thousands of scenarios involving Alfred and another girl, or guy, or both, being there when she walked in.  Not that he'd ever expressed interest in guys, or even any other women in the time they'd been together.  They'd been so happy, she thought.  Their own little apartment.  A life that suited both of them, seperately and together, but...then...  She turned her head, looking down the hall, trying to banish the thoughts of the nights she'd spent without him.<br/><br/>She didn't want to go through that again.<br/><br/>Her hand lifted, and she knocked.