<strong>Roberto</strong><br/>Ah, the sweet smell of restaurant shenanigans! The die was thrown, so I collected my facial features and scoured the cheeky off them, nailing them into their most deadpan configuration. I put on a nasal American accent for good measure, or at least an attempt at one.<strong>"Exc<em>oooooohz</em> me, <em>haaaaaayuv</em> you <em>gãoaaaahht</em> ehny <em>fraaaaaheeeeyz aaahyund caaaahytsup</em>? <em>Aayund</em> eh <em>knaaaheef aaynd fowuk</em> pleez, <em>maaah feeeyunguuuhz aaah huytin fraaahm hoawdin zeeeeze chaaaãohpsteeeecks,</em>"</strong>I drawled reprehensibly. Getting sick of my own terrible accent compounded by my "American" impression, I switched to my normal Brazilanese:<strong>"Ehnd hãow fahr ken you draeev eh troock frãom heeyre een ahn ahftehrnooen?"</strong>I added with the most serious of expressions, trying my very hardest not to collapse in a screaming heap, pissing myself laughing. I took in the expressions of everyone around me, which only made keeping a straight face harder. I held my breath, biting my lower lip with exertion.