<em>~Mila at the slumber party~</em><br/><br/>Mila listened to what Nicci and Mari were saying.  She was astonished by most of it.  She had thought the two of them were so confident, and it was obvious that the men were into them, especially Nicci.  They were practically drooling over her!  She had thought that she was the only one with the confidence issues, but apparently, she was not alone.  It endeared the other women even more to her, knowing that they all felt unsure on the inside.  But it also made her realize how very much this family depended on open communication, especially between the three of them.  It would be easy to let jealousies and insecurities come between them.  They would have to work at always being open with each other; there would be times that it would be difficult, but in that moment, Mila made a pact with herself to tell Mari and Nicci what she felt no matter how hard it was.<br/><br/>This sort of relationship had been her dream for so long that she liked to think she would be above the type of emotion that she other woman described.  But she wasn't, she realized.  She thought back, too, to when Nicci and Bo had joined them in the lounge, and the electricity that had seemed to flow between the two.  Mila had certainly not just been okay with that.  Jealousy had reared its ugly head with her, too.  She had wondered then how Mari felt about it, and was surprised to know that it was similar to how she had felt.<br/><br/>But her issue was a little different than what Nicci described.  Her blush deepening, she said, "I find the thought of any of the men with either of you... acceptable."<em>Exciting.</em>"My problem is more with myself.  I'm not jealous that they want you two.  I want that to happen.  I've dreamed of this for a very long time, and have really come to terms with loving multiple people.  But you two are so beautiful and wonderful, so<em>dynamic,</em>that I can't see the the men loving me if they have you."  With a wry little laugh, she added,  "I guess I didn't expect them to pick other women like you two.  You guys are perfect for this.  I'm not so sure I'll measure up."<br/><br/>She took another sip of her cocoa.  "It's more than that.  I'm afraid I'll mess the dynamic up.  That things will go well between everyone else except me.  I've already done it once.  I know that you guys don't think it was my fault, and it's nice of you to say so, but it was.  I was flirting with Vince, trying to be more like you instead of me.  And then I took what Bo said as a personal attack against me.  But it is more than just that.  All of that was no big deal, I know that.  I messed up by reacting how I did to Bo.  It was my behavior that messed dinner up."  She looked at Marisol.  "Do you have any advice?  You're from a big family and probably understand the dynamics better than I do.  I have a lot of brothers, but our family wasn't exactly loving or supportive, not with me.  I guess I need to learn not to shut down when someone doesn't approve of me."