He knew he was too attached to the girl before he arrived here today. He knew that. He knew she was out of reach for the kind of relationship he needed to be satisfied so he'd made do with what they had. That was the blunt truth of it, even if he never admitted that to even himself until today when he realized he'd be walking away from it all. Whatever<em>it all </em>was. That was why he felt all off about telling her this, and it didn't get any better when he saw her reaction. She was hurting, and it was his fault.<br/><br/>For anyone who knew Victor Ryan, the idea of him hurting another was absolutely idiotic. The young man never had ill intentions and his aim was always to add a little life and fun to where ever he tagged himself in. He never stirred trouble and he tried his best to mellow any drama that arose around him. He just wasn't built for struggling with tension and negative emotions. That, of course, didn't mean he never had any. He just left them on parchment, in his songs and his lyrics. He left the drama and hurt and anger and frustrations in the satisfying sounds of his guitar.<br/><br/>Fuck he was gonna need that guitar, wasn't he. She couldn't hide how she really felt about this soon enough. Before she put on her icy mask, he saw her hurt and the array of emotion dancing in her eyes like they were taunting him. He willed his hands to stay where they were while she got whatever it was she wanted to say off her chest. But the only words he got were a small, indifferent dismissal. It hit him harder than he expected, literally made him feel like she'd punched him in the gut and his abs clenched hard to prevent him from ducking as if she actually had.<br/><br/>His body came to before his head did and before he knew it he had closed the distance between them. He wrapped his arms securely around her tense form, ignored what would no doubt be a cold rejection and pulled her into him, pressed her into his chest and cradled her head onto his shoulder. It was a rough hold for what it was supposed to be, but he knew she wouldn't allow him to comfort her unless he forced her to. And she needed that, she needed the small shred of warmth he'd been able to give to her for these months they'd been playing this game. He knew he was the only source of it in her life at the moment, that her family wasn't there for it and that her friends...<br/><br/><strong>"I'm sorry, Valera,"</strong>he murmured when she felt differently in his arms, hopefully meaning she was relaxing like she'd done so many times before, not preparing to curse the living hell out of him.<strong>"I wanna say I'll visit but I don't think we can afford the trips. When I got mum's owl earlier I... It's just not likely."</strong>He knew it must sound stupid to the girl who grew up in the comfort of Ivanova wealth, but it was the truth. Hell, he'd be here every weekend to see his friends and his sister and her if it were up to him, but it simply wasn't.