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Actually, I'm not for once! I got up early for work! I have 21 minutes to leave to be on time.. Let's see how that goes.
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It really does get easier. Nowadays I just tell the majority of people that im too tired to come or just that " I have other plans" (plans being tv) real friends dont care as long as you still hang out from time to time, and non friends dont really matter most of the time in this instance
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I think this scenario repeats itself in my current job
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This is fucking awesome bro. I know what it’s like to struggle to find work due to mental illness and cognitive impairment. Congrats!!! Kick ass.
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Please take mine. I’ll give it away free of charge. In fact, I’ll pay you to take it.
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Let me say that you're absolutely beautiful . Sorry , I just had to comment . I know how shit acne can make you feel and I'm glad things are improving .
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I dunno man, my eternal hard on for rawstyle seems pretty well reflected.
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I haven't been diagnosed, recently I've been worrying that I might have ADHD a lot because of simple things like nor remembering words, names, or everything in general. I can't speak confidently because I never know where I'm going with my words or make my thoughts organized as well as equally for writing. When I'm either in school or browsing on my phone, I have trouble writing because of many different things, I constantly re read my stuff and miss errors regardless.
I remember in highschool I spent an hour trying to write a paragraph about why U.S history class should continue in my school and ahh do I still think about it constantly. It brings me down everytime because it hasn't changed since then.
I can't think/build a sentence fast enough on the spot so I look for things other people have said to make up a better thing for me to put out. I only remember one time in highschool where I felt like I knew for a fact I was gonna get a 90% on an essay because I knew what I was saying with every word.
But most of my life is just not like that at all.. if I was having an argument with someone it would take me FOREVER to send a reply because I'm busy constructing something to write so carefully so I don't sound stupid. I constantly feel like what I say and tell people isn't good enough or missing something and it's true. I've embarrassed myself many times. Most of the time I miss the whole point.
I was talking to someone and I said these things has been getting worse for me ever since college started, and they said ADHD doesn't get worse for people so I really don't know what my problem really is but I guess ADHD does it for me. I would go to a counselor and ask for help but with the lockdown it's hard, so I'll just wait. It's really upsetting, it sets me back miles and I'm always behind. I constantly judge myself and it's very tiring.
I'm not really asking for anything but I hope that what I think is the problem (ADHD) is correct because otherwise, it could probably be something worse but I have no clue. I relate to this sub a lot. It sucks. It really does but I hope things get better.
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I understand where you're coming from.
I think family are usually just trying to be helpful. If they don't have the lens of ADHD it really quite possibly may be that easy for them.
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I try to remember HALT which is an AA thing - hungry / angry / lonely / tired - if I want a drink/drug, check if I am any of those things because I probably am.
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Same. I don’t have a competitive bone in my body either - positive motivation is the only thing that works for me
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I’m laughing so hard right now, I thought I was the only one! We’ve all still got monkey brains lol
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In school, I consistently got one of two criticisms on papers: either I'd used too many commas or my sentences were too long. In my mind, it's very much organizational; everything in a sentence goes together the same way all the sentences that make up a paragraph go together, just on a smaller scale, and if anything I felt like breaking everything into smaller sentences *sacrificed* some organization. (Case in point, my teachers would have had me make "If anything I felt like. . . " a second sentence, but I could not bring myself to do it here -- I was still talking about the organization of the sentence, see?) The criticism wasn't really helpful because it didn't address the root of my problem: I usually have a lot of messy tangental thoughts that don't *really* add to the main point but seem to be related so I want to squeeze them all in. When my ADHD is better managed, those thoughts don't disappear, but they certainly seem much less important -- another one of those things that is probably not actual diagnostic criteria in itself but an interesting illustration of poor organization, which I believe is.
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AHAH. Nice try. I'm already in bed. I'll do it tomorrow.
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Congratulations! You'll do fine, I'm sure they'll let you learn as you go :) enjoy your job!
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“I’m going to meditate”
“My therapist” “recommends” a lot of “meditation”
My “meditation” includes wearing ear plugs that “help clue me in” to the beat of my heart and breathing by blocking out external noises.
This does not work when my ears can’t handle wearing ear plugs because something even THAT is too sensory stimulating.
Also means I have to pretend to meditate.
It’s not a great solution in my world but IN THEORY it works.
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I am so glad that people at my job don't treat it like something just for kids. I work as a mechanic and it seems like a fair number of the guys have it most of em needing to get checked out (myself included, I definitely need to at least seek help because I don't have a formal diagnosis)
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The worst part is the food for me, I used to plan what to eat during each week but then end up eating something else because Im too lazy to cook or I simply forget to cook, then comes the anxiety about throwing away food.
I HATE wasting food and feel extremely bad when I do which make me really depressed and mad at myself thinking "all this money I could had saved, this is not what the enviroment needs, someone else have a hard time affording food while I just throw it away".
I never plan what to eat anymore, I just simply decide each day.
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Thank you SO MUCH for posting this! I have honestly thought about this before and just assumed it would be prohibitively expensive. And i totally agree with you on the "society" bit, too. Humans were never designed to all be independent, one-man-bands. Congrats on finding something that works!
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This is giving me flashbacks of so many "there, now was that so hard?" And only being able to respond with an exhausted and manic giggle before mentally wanting to shut down...
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Oh this hit deep. I'm actually scared to read this subreddit in fear of developing more compulsions than I already have. At this point, they've only stacked up for me. I would welcome a trade at this point lol
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Doesn’t you posting this and describing how you didn’t touch anything count as a compulsion? Sorry to be a Debbie downer but 95% of posts on OCD subreddits are either blatant reassurance seeking or
cleverly disguised compulsive acts. I get that you’re proud of yourself but someone without OCD wouldn’t still be thinking about how they didn’t touch stuff/how it was fine to resist the compulsions etc.
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So very true. I don't like going out for dinner or whatever at night because I spend the entire day clock watching and counting down.
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Parents will always make us fit into their world while people who choose us will always try to fit in our world.
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I will spend HOURS on YNAB just fucking making my plans.
now i know why...
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Haha okay mine would be
1. Just one more hour of showering and I'll be clean
2. You caused mum's cancer
3. What did I touch on the last Tuesday of November 2017 and other random dates
4. God's gonna get you!
5. Why can't you just get better?
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I don't want anything for Christmas. I don't want anything anymore. I know that the only thing I could want will never come.
Hecc
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This is wayyy too accurate
I sit at work all day exhaustingly going back and fourth in my head with this stuff
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I named my thoughts Brian and Jessie 💕 ✨ Brian is the mean one, Jessie is the sexual and crazy one 🥰 🧚♀️
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Yeah usually 5 or 12 for me lol. I even do it when stroking my dog.
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You're not alone! I never really thought about my OCD playing a role but that wouldn't be the first time that's happened.
Just know, there are a lot of us bi girls who go through this and we've all got your back.
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sUdDenLy aLL mY iNtrUsiVe tHouGhTs anD cOmpUlsIonS hAvE SimULtAnEouSly vAniSheD!!! i’M CuReD!!!
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Yes, I absolutely have this. I can't make sense of or keep track of instructions until I know why, and once I know why I can remember the what, including the order of operations
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I do something very similar! I named my OCD Philbert, and whenever that little twerp decides to act up, I'll say "Fuck off Philbert" and it helps a lot. And yeah, I agree, this whole concept reminds me of a more mature Luca XD
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OMG SOOOO RELATABLE 😂😆
I always have to tap 6 or 12 times before leaving it.
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Don’t you think a boomer meme page with a name like Laugh Til Your Hearts Content With Jonnae is grabbing at the low hanging fruit? This is just one cheeky glass of sherry away from a Minion meme.
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I do this but with determining whether people like me or not. I always think that someone i know will talk to someone i knew twenty years ago and they will reject me or something.
I am constantly replaying conversations i have with people in my mind, looking for things like whether i was rude or not.
It is ocd but it sounds like schizophrenia, but i always have doubts about peoples loyalty. I am always obsessing about how they are scheming against me. It is ocd but sounds like schizophrenia.
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I can't tell you how many Saturday nights I've gotten tired and headed to bed, only to realize that my bed sheets are still in the drier (or worse, in the washer) and so I need to get my sleepy head to make my before sleeping lol! There have been nights where I didn't even bother, and I just crashed on the mattress with a blanket haha
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EVERY GOD DAMN DAY. Every single day, even if for just a second, I think about how I wish I had the power to pause time for as long as I want so I could just catch up on work or sleep a full eight hours because I stayed up all night the night before. Every. Day.
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About 50% of us have dirty or messy houses / rooms and around 100% of the human population wouldn't even want to touch this shit for free Jonnae. :P
edit: unless it's these english cleaning ladies on TV that always touch and lick dirty shit.
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Confirmation bias is the absolute worst enemy of people with OCD. Thank you for posting! :D
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My brain told me to throw my newborn into a pool the other day. I almost cried. I fucking hate ocd.
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This reminds me that I bought an ADHD workbook that someone on this sub recommended. I've had it a few weeks...haven't used it yet. Also, where did I put it..?
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My daughter, who has ADHD, does the same thing. She becomes super chatty but she always talks about the same things and they are all past events from long ago. I'm a likely undiagnosed ADHD but professionals see different things in older adults. It's a two way street and it's just as annoying when she does it.
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Have definitely had a random thought and followed it into a full 20 minute monologue, forgetting that I was in the middle of something 😏 so embarrassing!
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If it is any help, rationalizing those intrusive thoughts have helped me very much. For example if I have an intrusive thought about if I am treating someone well and that if I am a bad person, I tell myself that the fact that I am ready to torture myself rather than even entertaining the possibility of not treating someone well proves that I am a good person.
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Yup, this describes mine too. That's why ultimately exposure therapy was a better fit for me. I "just" had to confront the full blast of my thoughts without avoiding, and to do exposures to things I felt were "bad" (like leaving the shopping cart in the parking lot instead of taking it inside). It was very hard but I saw huge results so fast and it's nice to have therapy be so concrete, you know? Thought challenging is so nebulous because it's all in your head. But walking into a store and leaving without buying anything is a very visible, straightforward task, if hard.
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Wow. Thanks. Your rawness touched me. Please be well, keep well and may your shining light for others always burn bright and for yourself always keep you warm.
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I’m 27, I just joined this subreddit at the end of last year. I’ve been watching a lot of videos on YouTube about people with adhd and reading posts like yours lately. The first time I saw that someone felt the same way I did, I broke down. I would never wish this feeling on anyone and it makes me so sad that we all suffer the same.
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Me, right now laying on my couch at 5:47am.
Okay good night.
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You’re so talented!! This looks beautiful, and congrats on resisting the compulsion :)
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Love this! Is that donna from twin peaks i see there? :) Ocd made me call it out im so sorry xD
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Hey buddy. I recently learned about how we ADHD folk make decisions, and while it may not help you to fix this issue, a little understanding might help make you feel a bit better.
The way we make decisions is based on four things. Interest, challenge, novelty and urgency. If a task is not one of those four things, we simply won't do it.
Learning that explained so much of my life. Haven't figured out how to address it yet. Maybe you can.
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I read this and ignored it because it hit so close to home. This exactly. I love art but can’t bring myself to commit to a project or practice long enough to actually do it.
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I hate myself on adderall even though I’m super productive. But I’m glad you find peace in it.
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Here’s a cool hack that guarantees I’m at least 30min - an hour early for everything: anxiety.
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I experience this question towards me more often than not. Doesn’t help that I also have Tourette’s...
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Yep. Inattentive ADHD, Pure O, and chronic depression.
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I think some folks are confused by these terms. obviously we don’t experience objective permanence the same way an infant does. I think this is talking more about how ADHD people tend to lose things a lot. I can set my phone down somewhere and walk off, and a few minutes later I’ll be desperately searching for my phone and I have no idea where I put it, and even when I find it I have zero memory of even setting it there. Or maybe a better example would be…I have tons of piles everywhere. In the house, in the car, in closets, everywhere, piles of my random stuff that I couldn’t be bothered with putting away or going through. Then I’ll decide to go through a pile one day while cleaning and I’ll discover an item that I completely forgot I had, and it could be something I used to use often or really enjoyed. I do this very often with new things too, I’ll buy something, and either leave it in the car or I’ll toss the bag it’s in on my table and completely forget I have a new treasure. Everything is very out of sight, out of mind. So not exactly object permanence, but similar.
I totally understand the emotional issue too. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and treats me so so well. But if I don’t hear from him for a while or if his texts seem short for whatever reason, I start to think that he has somehow very suddenly fallen out of love with me. It’s ridiculous but I can’t help it. But, this is one reason I have a hidden album on my phone with pictures of us and a ton of sweet messages he has sent me.
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I am so proud of you ... and also this post was a really great reminder for me to take care of my own oral hygiene. :)
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So super strong, sounds so insanely hard. props to you.
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Along this vein, for me, I'll often find myself negotiating with myself over physical compulsions.
"Ok, ending every flight of stairs on your right foot on the way up and left foot on the way down is totally unreasonable, how about if you JUST do it when you're on your way to work?"
I feel accomplished when I succeed at this, but at the same time, in hindsight, it is so irrational to think that there is any difference between the two. It's a practically positive outcome, but ultimately validates the compulsion anyway- maybe even more so, because I'm compartmentalizing this as "rational behavior" in my negotiation with the illness.
God this disease is fucking complicated.
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Lmao and then you wake up the next morning like “what the fuck was that!?” It honestly makes you feel drunk
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I thank the gods for the watch later button lol. I used to think "oh I'll find it later" haha.
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I was awesome at first meeting sales pitches. I had great ideas, spoke well. My follow up was poor and things would fall apart no matter how hard I tried. Thanks for your post.
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No what if my ocd isn’t real and everything i’ve been thinking is true at the first place?
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AHH. Ok, so I'm a ~chemist~ (jokes, Im a grad student who pretends to know shit but really is just a void). ANYWAYS. I legit call that "activation problem" an activation barrier, or activation energy lol.
In chem, we use reaction coordinate diagrams/plots to show the energetics of a reaction system...and to get from reactants (start) to products (finish) requires energy input (transition energy, activation energy)...anyways, there's an energetic hurdle ya gotta overcome to get from one thing to the end product. Even favourable, spontaneous reactions have that lil energetic hurdle.
With my broke-ass, adhd brain...I'm always at the start, I'm at point 0, and the thing I wanna do, or don't want to do, is all the way over this massive fucking barrier that requires mental energy & physical adherence to overcome. Even the shit I wanna do! Everything has an energy barrier, a transition energy, associated with it and it is fuckin exhausting. Sometimes those energetic hurdles are too big 💁 even if they're fairly small (e.g., for shit I "genuinely" want to do).
Thnk you for listening to my dumbass nerd comparison of adhd brain and chem reaction diagrams lol
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Not being able to finish the last 10% of anything, while not the worst, is the most pervasive and consistent ADHD symptom that I have.
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I guess you could say that I... *check* off most of those bad boys. ;D
Yea, I know. Sue me.
~~*did I offend anyone?*~~ kidding. Just kidding.
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Congrats ,i bet your ocd is mad that you did not succumb to it and fail
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I feel you, friend. That's what my hands look like too. They itch and bleed, and it's worse in the winter. Hang in there!
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Yup. Been diagnosed for about a year (30M) and I'm starting to realize how many bad career choices I've made. Breezed through high school without putting in any effort, but failed my first year of college at 4 different universities... I'm glad that there is a neurological reason for this, but it saddens me that I have "wasted" so many opportunities.
Pandemic has been rough, but I have learned so much about myself. Currently working through some mental issues that I've accumulated over the years by bullshitting myself through life. Hopefully I'll have enough energy, courage and stability in a few months to find job that suits me better.
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This sounds very common, and sounds like a pure ocd (not as in the form of ocd) thought-behavior. An exposure you can try is to purposefully include some typos in your emails, then sit with the discomfort. You know the truth and know that you would never include a racial slur or nude photo in an email.
A more extreme exposure idea would be to pen up an email in your head with the most horrific pictures or things you can possibly imagine and imagine sending them off to others. Be warned that this will make you want to check, so be strong. Have fun with this and make it funny for you. You might not be ready to do this yet, and that’s totally fine.
Stay strong and hang in there!
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Never. I read the whole thing, get sidetracked by links people answered with on that post, made me think of something else I wanted to look up, and then realize I'm still in bed at 11 in the morning, or realize it's two hours past my ideal bedtime.
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“Slap that guy.” “Get naked.” “Jump out of this moving car on the highway.” “Just start screaming for no reason.” “Smash your phone.”
My brain is fucking wild.
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oh my god i do this too. i didnt realize it was part of my OCD. im so sorry i know how it is.
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how the fuck am i not alone in this. im always scared im a pedophile
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Sometimes this feeling of dread just comes over me like I’ll never be happy again & im dying tonight or something it’s the worst
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this exact thing happened to me the other day and i was like 👁👄👁 and the OCD was like 😏
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Me staring at this post, then staring at my sheetless bed with a pile of half folded clothes on top of it, wondering why it took me so damn long to get diagnosed.
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I snorted at work reading this. It's just so accurate 😂 and comical to see written out. I'm going to save this to remind myself it's irrational when I start spiraling.
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Sounds familiar. I have to keep my bill paying tasks in an app to remind me to do it on time (but that has been working for me!).
Additional: bounced checks because you overpaid, paid twice, paid too soon, or forgot you paid and didn't record it anywhere. I used to spend hundreds on fees every month before I got it all in an app.
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This is an overwhelmingly big deal! I am in the same boat! You got this!
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I am concerned about taking my medication without a meal due to side effects, are there any other issues with taking it on an empty stomach in the morning?
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Thank you for this post. I tried to kill myself twice and the second time I decided I never wanted to attempt suicide again. That's what made me start taking ADHD seriously. To actually accept the condition and to ignore my family who continually tries to convince me otherwise. Now that I'm diagnosed and am receiving help I'm finally getting my confidence back.
I'm eternally grateful to this sub. It makes me feel alot less alone.
Also I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I had a friend commit suicide a few years ago. They will live through your memories.
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Do you take some medications? SNRIs and TCAs can cause that.
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Literally oh my gosh.... now add in a couple other disorders including anxiety and you've got the nightmare that is my life. just end me already
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When I'm writing off the cuff, I use a lot of commas, but when I have time to edit I think it's important to keep things as concise as you can. Write a big block of marble, chip away at it the next day, repeat.
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I used to have religious OCD, so I stopped being religious, and now I still have moral OCD but without the possibility of redemption.
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Did Biden actually say this during the debate last night? Big mood.
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i burnt through the lexapro column now im chilling in the 100mg zoloft section
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I just got my quarterly “LET’S DO THE SHIT YOU NORMALLY CAN’T STAND” boost and I’m desperately trying to start habits now before it goes away. ADHD fucking sucks.
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Oh my goodness. I knew something was wrong when I was in elementary school. My experiences didn't match up with my classmates. I was upset more often and upset by things they never noticed or thought of. I tried asking my mom for help and she told me to get over it because life isn't fair.
I was called high maintenance, a cry baby, a hassle, and other things by parents, family members, coaches, and teachers. I didn't want to be those things. I wanted to be happy and bubbly. That's my true self. Whenever I am free of OCD that is who I naturally am. I love to laugh and I love to do everything in my power to bring laughter to everyone around me. I knew that when I was little but I didn't know how to make that a reality that other people saw, outside of what they liked to tell me I was.
I remember so many times when I tried to say I wasn't crying, when I was. I didn't want to be crying. I wanted to explain why I was upset. I would try to calm myself and ask for help calming down a lot of the time when I was having a 'meltdown.' The more I explained myself the angrier adults seemed to be. The angrier they got the worse I felt and the harder I cried. It feels like I'm being strangled and squeezed in my full body when I have these 'meltdowns.' I would try to tell adults why I was freaking out and they'd just start yelling most of the time or say incredibly hurtful things to me. I've just given up now.
You don't want to understand me? Then stop asking me to explain. You can go ahead and not understand until the end of time.
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It's.. 1 am. And I'm tired af. Thanks for the reminder. I'm going to bed now.
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Am I the only one who doesn’t really mind? Just correct them and move on, brings a nice bit of awareness
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This is happening right now with a girl I like very much and I think she likes me too. The anxiety is killing me. Any advice on how to deal with this would be amazing.
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Ok, but the different colours are touching. They should at least sell it by colour in different bags. This is pointless.
*Edit: disregard the below paragraph, someone clarified certain things I was wrong about*
Also, autism is different. Most of the time autistic meltdowns are triggered by a disruption in routine. Not because of a fear that they're gonna die if they don't perform x task. (among a slew of other things, also, not a psychiatrist, but I work with children/teens with disabilities)
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either i blink like hell or mumble to myself “nope not today.” whenever i got deja vu i used to shake my head a lot though
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I have OCD and I'm here to be blunt with you:
It gets worse. Not better.
Just thought you all deserved to know.
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for me, it's been about a week of all clean dishes after a while of piling up. wishing everyone good luck and brighter days.
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