I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
<i>I have been a dreamer all my life. It took me until last year to figure this out, and only thanks to this community.</i><p>Great. Dreaming is necessary but not sufficient for great accomplishments. Glad you're one of us.<p><i>I hardly ever tried - and when I tried, I didn't persist. It has been my goal to start a business since ever I can remember. And yet I never really tried (until last year, which resulted in abysmal failure). Not even something small, like selling stuff online. I was always good at dreaming up new ideas. But never executed on any one of them.</i><p>I am about to tell you a bunch of stuff, but this is the most important. You have to get this or you will never break out of your rut:<p>The reason you're stuck is because you're too focused on yourself. Remember, it's <i>not</i> about you. It's about others.<p>The reason for building great things is to help others achieve their goals. It's not about how rich you'll become, or how famous, or who will like you, or how much fun it will be. (Well maybe a little of that last one.) Until you find someone else who must have something, you will always quit when things get tough. And they always get tough. Having someone else (a customer, a user, someone...) is the key ingredient that many miss on the road to "must build". Find someone, then find something that you <i>have</i> to build. You won't want to disappoint someone who is depending on you. Believe me, in your case, this will probably make all the difference.<p><i>Likewise, I have been programming on and off since the age of 17. Unfortunately, I started out with C++. As soon as I hit pointers, I made up my mind that programming was only for people smarter than me.</i><p>There will <i>always</i> be someone smarter than you. DO NOT let that stop that from building what you must build. It's better to be junior than to be weak.<p><i>Somehow, I did get back into it a few years later, but I never really became proficient at it. Again, I was good at learning the basics, reading code, messing around with code snippets on the command line. But I never built anything of value.</i><p>Stop reading code. Stop messing around. Find something that needs to be built (preferably by someone other than yourself). Then build it. Trust yourself and trust the process of building. You <i>will</i> learn what you need when you need it. I promise.<p><i>I don't have too much time left. My 20ies are gone.</i><p>Bullshit. I didn't do my first startup until I was 32. Stop thinking like that. If you're a programmer, your prime is still 20 years ahead of you. (Believe me, I know.)<p><i>This is my chance to turn the boat around, and realize my goals.</i><p>Good. It's definitely not your last chance, but glad to see you're prepared to make the most of it.<p><i>So, this is meant as much for the rest of the world as it is meant for myself.</i><p>It better be. Until you realize that your work is for others, not yourself, you will continue to spin your wheels. The biggest byproduct of recognizing the needs of others is that you will automatically and subconsciously start solving your own problems as well.<p><i>Usually, I would have just signed up with yet another anonymous name. Not this time. I want to keep myself honest.</i><p>Good. Always be yourself. Who else are you going to be?<p><i>(unfortunately, besides being a loser, I'm also a loner).</i><p>You're not a loser, so get that disempowering thought out of your head forever. A loser would never have opened up like you just did. And if you are a loner, that's not unfortunate, it's probably normal. Maybe even necessary. You see, despite what people may think, the best software is still written by one person, alone with their thoughts. Embrace your lonerness!<p><i>For better or for worse.</i><p>There is no worse. What you <i>think</i> is worse are just speedbumps on the way to better. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will see these things as what they really are: the feedback you need to get on track to get better.<p><i>This is my last chance to get my life back on track.</i><p>No it's not. (See above.)<p><i>If anyone else reads this, wish me good luck.</i><p>Fuck luck. Just quit you're stinkin' thinkin' and get to work. I know you want to and I have proof: you're here.<p>I have something way better for you: Best wishes, Stefan. Get to work and keep us posted. Don't get discouraged and come back for motivation and guidance whenever you want. We'll be here.