Ambition as an anxiety disorder
I believe that my success can largely be attributed to deep anxiety. I have CPTSD from many terrible years of childhood trauma. As a teenager I struggled with intense depression and hopelessness. Then one day it was like something snapped. I suddenly had a fierce, insatiable drive the lift myself out of the shit situation I was in. I graduated high school a few months later and immediately left home.<p>Five years later I received my bachelors degree in Computer Science. Now two years after graduation I'm making $300k a year, I'm married, I own a home, and I live thousands of miles away from my abusers yet I still struggle with anxiety and I still feel that drive to be more successful.<p>I want nothing more than to be able to say that I broke a multi-generation chain of abuse. That I was strong enough to do the thing my abusers couldn't.