Ask HN: Coping with cancer in the family
My daughter was diagnosed with cancer at 3 years old (stage 4).<p>I took "family leave", which is possible depending on which state you live in (within the US at least). I was able to take three months of leave (at a reduced pay).<p>I lived in the hospital the entire time. I never went back to work though, I just couldn't find the focus, time or effort to be productive in a work/team environment. I honestly lost all "care" for work. I couldn't push myself to care at all and work on something when I was sitting in the same room as my daughter and seeing what she was going through.<p>My daughter is now 6 years old and I still haven't gone back to work.<p>What has helped me? Not much.<p>Seeing the care and love from a few friends and family members has certainly helped me and my family, but at the same time I have grown to dislike a lot of people that weren't around at that time. I feel like I learned who my real family and friends are.<p>If you're wondering how the friends and family helped... they were simply there, repeatedly. They helped us when we were in New York for treatment far from home. They quit their job and flew from their home country to live with us for over a year to help take care of our other daughter while we were living in the hospital.<p>Reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (Gregory Hayes translation) helped me really think long and hard about my life and what matters (and what doesn't matter). It certainly helped me push forward.