Paul Graham’s thoughts, discoveries, and tricks on parenthood
I have a point to make that I feel intersects the conversations here.<p>It concerns something I didn't figure out until I was older, that children are brought into existence w/o their consent.<p>Now I don't believe this is* (edit: fixed) an evil or unethical act; it's simply an unavoidable facet of reality. However, it creates a debt to children so massive, that it can't be fully repaid in a lifetime.<p>In short, the debt between children & parents only ever runs one way.<p>Because of this, I have a permanent & total obligation to my kids' well being, while they in-turn owe me nothing for a lifetime of labor on their belhaf (which as a single parent - changing diapers & earning income - has been substantial).<p>It doesn't mean my grown kids should or shouldn't contribute to my welfare. It means that my responsibility is to continually tip the scales toward the outcomes they desire.<p>In our case we operate as one household & there are different obligations in play there. But the Original Debt indicates that any shortfalls (in labor, etc) be filled by me, unless & until more practical solutions are worked out.<p>My reward is that this really efficient mindset solves lots of problems in advance.