Ask HN: Planning for Parenthood
Sorry, but your bullet points all seem like the opposite of parenthood. Disclaimer: I have raised three children.<p>Having children before you get old makes sense. Pregnancy and childbirth get harder on women as they get older, and some evidence shows that sperm quality decreases with age. Nature has optimized us to reproduce while still young. Why wait ten years? If you think an infant will burn you out now it won&#x27;t get easier in ten years.<p>Screening for defects and diseases makes sense to reduce those risks. Enhancement seems unlikely given the ten-year horizon, and likely a bad idea even if&#x2F;when available.<p>Why have a child when you plan to have strangers (nanny, schools) do most of the work?<p>Regardless of all of your plans and precautions, when you bring a child into the world you have responsibility for but not real control over that new person. You don&#x27;t get to make them into something you want or can plan for. Children have their own personalities and eventually their own wants and desires and plans. A big part of the fun of raising children comes from watching that new person grow and take shape. Parents who try to raise children according to their own ideas and dreams face conflict and disappointment.<p>Your plan seems to take all the joy and wonder out of having a child and parenting. Some things merit the &quot;very intentional&quot; approach, but relationships and children don&#x27;t fit that category for me. If you want that kind of control and tentative relationship on your terms, get aquarium fish.