Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?
I created an account extra for this, cause this is super personal.<p>So, it all started last year. My mother who has been suffering from lung cancer for three years was doing pretty well - given the condition she has to deal with.<p>Then, all of the sudden, my brother has died in an accident. My mom took that with the pain I guess only a mother can feel, but to my surprise she was braver than I thought.<p>I, however, pushed all the pain away and started to work as hell. Within weeks I took new responsibilities at work place, travelled a lot and to make things even worse, fell in love with a co-worker of mine. This ruined my years lasting relationship, but at that moment, I thought, it was worth it.<p>Turned out, it was not. My new relationship became a nightmare. Passive aggression all over, paired with depression, illegit accusations and stark disputes all over. Of course, all of this happened only when we were alone.<p>I have always been a very &quot;stable&quot; person, but at this time, I began asking myself what am I doing here. My mother is about to die, my brother had passed away, I left my girlfriend, who was my partner and my best friend for years for a girl who is so full of negativity. And the few moments I have for myself, I am doing hard work.<p>It was too much for me. I collapsed and could not do anything. Thanks to a good friend of mine, who brought me to the hospital. I went to a private clinic specialised on trauma and depression in a very nice area.<p>I had sports, psychological sessions, creativity and relaxation all over the day for a while.<p>I came back stronger than ever before. For me, key was to really enjoy every single moment. &quot;Love it, leave it or change it&quot;, has become my slogan more than ever. Contrary to my situation before, I just applied it also to the very small parts of life. And, my focus changed from &quot;leave it&quot; to &quot;change it&quot;. I am thankful for what I have, even if this is something I currently struggle with. But when I am really thankful from the deepest of my heart, I find the strength to change it. I started giving a fuck what people I don&#x27;t care about think about me and instead started to reveal true feelings to the people I really want to have in my life.
I learnt to say &quot;no&quot;. I have never been overloaded with work from mean co-workers or managers who just piled their shit on my table. It was more I actively searched for work that somehow sounded &quot;interesting&quot; or a meaningful CV bullet point. I have been the mean manager of myself. I stopped that. Saying no to a thing that just sounds &quot;pretty cool&quot;, but is actually not meaningful in my life, is the best lesson I ever got taught.<p>And, best of all: I quitted my job and just agreed to to stuff for the company as contractor until they find another person to work on it. I joined the company of a good friend of mine, which is outside the tech world, doing half of the hours I used to do and get the same amount of money. And the best thing, I can now learn and play with technology with no pressure which makes me more productive. And with that knowledge I feel I can help my friend surviving with his non-tech company in the storm of digitalization.