Honestly, It's Probably the Phones
It&#x27;s not and never has been phones. It&#x27;s the state of the &quot;world&quot;, relationships or lack thereof.
As if you&#x27;ve never been a teenager and forgot all about it.
Teenagers are people who are trying to break off from parental and supervision in general. Find their path, get confronted with them being mortal, as a kid you have no idea what that means.<p>Personally I had a goth phase, well at first it was Rap music, then Gothic, then Techno. Music is very important when you&#x27;re a teen.
In my goth phase I listened to depressing music dealing with death and injustice. I wore black clothes. One day I had enough of the self torture and Techno was the new thing which I liked very much since I was also playing games on the C64 and those had great music.
When I was into Rap I did scratch a lot so later I was throwing parties and was trying to make it as a DJ and music producer.
But without money and false friends, my records got stolen and trackers were the only tech for cheaply creating music on the computer back then, later with windows 95 98 and so on you had actual virtual synths.<p>Anyhow I digress...<p>Even as an adult the state of our world gets me down. The white is black newspeech or let&#x27;s call it the Orwellian Dystopia we live in.
The wars and injustices. The corruption. The disregard for life and lack of respect and knowledge and most of all tolerance and understanding for being human and not being perfect. The do or die.
The fact that this world could be a paradise but the powers that be choose that it shouldn&#x27;t.
The American imperialism, the Chinese lunacy, the European arrogance and fakeness and the Russian imperialism.
Just stop with the world domination game and selling weapons. Stop profiting from the deaths of innocents.
Why can&#x27;t we all be friends?<p>2010 I remember very well.
I had a girlfriend. She cheated on me. I was heartbroken and got abandoned by everyone.
2010-2012 I spend playing an MMORPG. It was the place where I was happy once. So I returned there. But it was changed. People were hateful and aggressive.
The guild I&#x27;ve been a part of was no more.
It got destroyed by some asshole kids, who acted like they own the place. In real life people were also worse, less understanding and more hateful.
2012 I quit playing that game, I was still hurting every day. I joined Google+ and focused on my income. I learned JS and Go. AngularJS. 2014 then financial success. And that broke the pain I felt every day in my chest since she cheated.
That went until 2020. Now I&#x27;m applying for social security. That is a personal low. I always fought against being dependant on anyone. I never wanted state alms.
I never had debt.
I&#x27;m a proud person. This isn&#x27;t easy. And I hate that it has come to this.
Most job ads suck. They&#x27;re essentially ads for the company. They want you to be their bitch, requiring you to be responsible for the whole process. 
&quot;You will be working with our Cloud  infrastructure where you will write , test, deploy and monitor the application stack, improve out infrastructure and evaluate alternative technologies, and well pay you 1&#x2F;4 of an American and you&#x27;ll like it&quot;. Yeah and on the side I&#x27;ll save the world from famine and normalize the climate, and end all wars.<p>They don&#x27;t want colleagues, they want slaves.
And I have a problem with that.<p>Contract work, only with connections, which I don&#x27;t have anymore. I&#x27;m in a contractor database. I ask 75€&#x2F;h or 600€&#x2F;day.
Others ask 100€+&#x2F;h.
I&#x27;ve done PHP for 11 years, I&#x27;ve seen the 2001 bubble burst. I had a web hosting service, a top 1000 site on Alexa, worked freelance for national players, fixed scripts students abandoned because they were unable to do it properly.
I know my stuff but I can&#x27;t get in there. Those social networks are no social at all. LinkedIn sucks ass, all they do is push their tech. You search for Go jobs, they show you .net C# jobs.
Mastodon sucks too. You can&#x27;t have a normal conversation. Most don&#x27;t even respond and if they do most of the time they&#x27;re acting aggressive or ignorant. Why are they on a social network then?
Should I intensify my Java knowledge? But I hate Java. Go is the way. Should I learn more about C# and .net? Should I go back to PHP where I&#x27;d work on e-commerce boredom? Meeeeh. 
There&#x27;s only one way out, finish my projects and hope people find them usefu, meanwhile being on social security.
I feel like I&#x27;m this talent that goes to waste because no one ever discovered me because I&#x27;m not in the clique and live a hermit life, but I also dislike big city life. Can&#x27;t have your cake and eat it too. Or like they say in the country my mom is from, you can&#x27;t clench and fart at the same time ;)<p>What I really want to do though is travel the world, like a digital nomad, before I die.
Where are the low maintenance remote jobs?