Ask HN: I Need to Talk to Someone
Others here will have technical solutions&#x2F;make progress solutions. So I will recommend how to have enough breathing room to keep moving forward (I&#x27;m an unhirable ex-con whose having a rough go but has kids so getting to a good place is the ONLY acceptable option so I&#x27;m starting my own biz). For me its:<p>Come up with songs that can break your mind out of whatever loop it is in at the moment. Mix these songs into a playlist of other music or identify ones that already come up. For me its: Madonna resets me to past moments (say a specific time in the 1980s eating at a pizzeria with my no longer living mother and Madonna is playing, a time when I felt very safe, comfortable, and loved). Tom Petty is the universe telling me it will be all right, etc. Bands&#x2F;songs not too common in your playlist but common enough that they will snap you out of whatever state you need snapping out of a couple of times a day. This gives you a little space&#x2F;breathing room throughout the day. It&#x27;s an extra way for you to tell yourself to remember to breath. Obviously it&#x27;s not actually the universe talking to you, but like a Labrador fixated on playing fetch that wont stop barking, you need something to break the stress loop you are in in the moment. So for now it IS the universe telling you it will be OK.<p>Meditation and intention in the morning and at night. In the morning it is to prepare you for the crap that will come up during the day so you aren&#x27;t totally white knuckling things as they come up, at night it&#x27;s to process enough that you can sleep. This needs to be at a regular time and you need to go to sleep&#x2F;wake up consistently to meet these times. Alternatively journal if you aren&#x27;t good at meditating. The morning define your fears for the day and possible bad outcomes (I imagine all the VISA stuff is as stressful as court sentencing day, don&#x27;t go into that stuff cold turkey) and that while they suck and can be life changing, life WILL go on. Once you are done let the stress of those items go until they happen. If you can&#x27;t let go, keep mediating&#x2F;writing why you are still stressed, until you exhaust that stress&#x2F;worry monkey. Life WILL go on, I promise! I have weekly hourly phone calls with my son when he completely cut me out of his life in the past, but only because I keep troding forward with intention. For years I had no one, living in hell in prison, but I kept living with intention, and now I get to hear my son say he loves me again.<p>An hourly (or better half hour) alarm on your phone. When it goes off jog in place for 2 minutes or do 5-50 pushups (what you can do). This helps reset my brain to a productive less manic&#x2F;panicked&#x2F;stressed state. Do not ignore or snooze. Do it. Every time. It will help other ways as being this stressed will have physical tolls. This might be super prisony and bad advice but it helps me. (But I lived in a space as small as an elevator with another person, bunk bed, desk, chair, 2 lockers and 1X1 foot window for a year during covid so yeah this may be an unhealthy prison coping mechanism).<p>Eat as healthy as you can. Minimal sugar&#x2F;nasty fats. Do not reward yourself&#x2F;use junkfood as your escape. Stress is already high on your body. I don&#x27;t run my car at top speed&#x2F;readline and give it bad gas and not change the oil and then expect to get very far. In the same vain get the right amount of sleep (not too little, not depression level too much). Allow a single 15-30 minute nap at a fixed time if needed. Routine is the easiest way to do this.<p>From the health food store look into:
L-Theanine
Lithium Orotate<p>Theanine helps me be calm when I start to get past tilt (but at the expense of motivation).
Lithium Orotate is maybe sketchy. I&#x27;m at a point where I needed it but an weaning off.<p>If you have insurance then obviously a doctor can get you something better to deal with anxiety, but if you are in the USA and insuranceless and dependant on random supplements that&#x27;s what I got.<p>Remember you are loved and worthy of love. Communicate with your partner don&#x27;t isolate. Be kind to yourself. Don&#x27;t allow yourself or the voice in your head to beat you up, that is 0% productive. Rethinking on actions&#x2F;events&#x2F;stresses&#x2F;fears is for during meditation&#x2F;journaling time and with intention, not dwelling on them unhealthy in the moment when it serves no purpose and is destructive, self defeating or wasting energy that needs to go towards productivity.<p>Keep your head up brother (or sister)!