Ask HN: How did you meet your spouse?
We were actually together for almost 7 years before we got married, but we are currently working our second job together.<p>I had just got back from volunteering (teaching English to Ethiopians) in Israel. I moved home to live with my mom temporarily. I was jobless, no money, and with a bachelors in Psychology.<p>I applied across the boards of Craigslist. No one really replied. I figured, I taught myself programming when I was younger, why not try for a programming job? A hit! I went in for my interview and I got hired to fix autobody collision software in Visual Basic 6.0. I did not have a car at the time, so I had asked the secretary if I could use her phone to call my brother.<p>Little did I know.. that woman fell in love with me as soon as I asked that question. Days later, getting to know everything, I would come see her because I thought she was nice and she had a laugh that always got to me. Loved that laugh. Once, I touched her hand, as I did when I was flirting, asking, &quot;my hands are cold, can you warm them up?&quot; She put them in her lap and said, &quot;Delighted to warm your hands up.&quot; I really didn&#x27;t even intend for anything more other than flirting, because you know, staring at a computer screen for 8 hours a day is not the most exciting thing in the world.. so flirting with a girl for a few minutes seemed like a fun alternative and a break from coding.<p>Anyways time went on... 3 months and a small raise, during all this time, she would come over and see how I was, ask me questions like what I was doing after work, and my thick head never even picked up the hints. Of course, she was a bit older than me, smoked, had kids, tattoos, and was not really on my radar or what I would have considered my type.<p>So my birthday comes.. she asks me, &quot;What are you doing tonight?&quot; I said to her, &quot;Going to hang out with all the friends I don&#x27;t have.. would you like to come?&quot; She said she would love to. So sure enough, I went to the bar, none of my friends showed up (because I didn&#x27;t have any), but she was there. I bought her a drink, she bought me a drink. We ended up having things in common. She admitted to me that she has had a crush on me ever since I walked in that first day and asked if I could use her phone. We kissed and the rest is history.<p>She later admitted two things to me: Had I not put my hand on hers &quot;to warm up&quot;, she had taken those as hints that I was into her, though for me, I was just flirting.  And the kiss on our first date... solidified her feelings for me.<p>And other than a small breakup for about 3 months, we got back together and have been together ever since, going on 7 years and to date - married on November 11, 2017 -- today is November 30, 2017.<p>As for her smoking.. while I told her to not quit for me, I explained to her that if she continued smoking, that it probably wasn&#x27;t going to work out between us because it wasn&#x27;t something I wanted to live with, so she ended up quitting smoking. Yeah.. some may call me an asshole for that, because I wasn&#x27;t &quot;letting her be herself&quot;, but she didn&#x27;t have to quit, either, and we would have just gone our separate ways.<p>As for what happened about getting our second job together -- long story short -- first job: boss was harassing her, and putting me down. He had absolutely no knowledge we were dating. I applied to help her get another job and I applied for myself.. and we both got two separate jobs. I really wanted her job and she really wanted mine. Her job was looking for two people to hire (her being one). She mentioned to her new boss who I was and my skillset... after several weeks of searching, they couldn&#x27;t find anyone willing to work those hours or with the skillset I had acquired from my former job, so they hired me, and I worked two jobs (16 hour days -- 8 AM to 2 AM) for almost 2 years, before the job I had originally gotten failed and laid me off.... so we&#x27;ve been working together pretty much nonstop since we met.<p>I mean, if you asked me a decade ago.. I literally had given up on love and no longer paid attention to it, hence why it took her 3 or 4 months to get my full attention. I was devastated when the girl of my dreams didn&#x27;t reciprocate so I had truly given up and was preparing a life of solitude, and surely, I didn&#x27;t mind myself: I&#x27;m my best friend. But I was just used to the games most girls played with me... and I assumed she was no different. Once I had given up on love is when love found me, I suppose.  Workplace romance and love is not easy -- what if it didn&#x27;t work out? What if.... you never know, really. But the opportunity for the spark to happen can happen anywhere. Sure, I may have not gotten the girl of my dreams, but I do feel as if I am now married to the woman of my dreams.