A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
When I was around twenty my Mom used to call me every other day or so just to have a chat. One day, after she asked me how my day was, I shot back something along the lines of: &quot;I don&#x27;t have anything to tell you, really. You&#x27;re calling so often that nothing new manages to happen in between the calls.&quot; So, she stopped calling. I would go home every other week as usual and everything seemed fine. It was only much later that I found out that she basically cried for three days straight after that call.<p>Some time later there was a period when I would contact my parents every few months or so. Not really on purpose. Simply because other things simply took more of my time and attention, and calling my parents wasn&#x27;t really high on my list of priorities.<p>Only when my son was born I started to realize what someone goes through as an individual and as a couple once a child comes into their lives. How it changes things. That not being thrown out of the window at 2 a.m. as an infant is already a blessing. I&#x27;m sure that thought has crossed the mind of many a young parent with a screeching infant on their hands in the middle of night. So, I felt ashamed of myself, and grateful to my parents for being there in the first place, and being decent at being parents as well.<p>Now I&#x27;ve made a point to myself to call them up at least once a week. As in, I have set up a reminder for that. I now know how much they value this. But it&#x27;s not only for them. I realize very well that one day I will wake up and wish to call my parents to have a chat about something. But there simply won&#x27;t be anyone to call anymore.<p>I&#x27;m not passing any judgement at all on people who have abusive parents. I have no idea how that feels like. I&#x27;m just happy that I didn&#x27;t end up accidentally getting estranged to the decent parents that I have. At some point it really was going that way.