It all made sense when we found out we were autistic
I&#x27;m curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important.  I can&#x27;t at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, &quot;Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic,&quot; as one of the women in the article says.  When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interest with, since some interests can only be pursued in a very limited way by one&#x27;s self.  I would like to become closer to people I find interesting or admirable.  I would like to be able to offer people the pleasure and comfort of a friendly greeting and conversation.  These are things I find very difficult, and I can&#x27;t imagine a diagnosis erasing my regret at mostly failing to do these things, or eliminating my desire to achieve just a little bit more success at them.<p>My therapist suggested that Aspergers might help, along with other factors we had already identified, explain a lot of my childhood experiences, so I asked her if a diagnosis would give me a new way to work on my current issues.  She said no, given my current status, it wouldn&#x27;t affect our approach, just our retrospective understanding.  Given that, I didn&#x27;t quite care enough to spend time and money meeting with a specialist who could verify her suspicions.  I might do it someday just out of curiosity, but I can&#x27;t imagine it giving me any sense of relief or validation.  My deficiencies are my deficiencies, with or without a diagnosis.  Too often someone who encounters me leaves thinking I don&#x27;t like them, and I know their natural tendency will be to fill in the reason with something they don&#x27;t like about themselves or something about themselves that people harbor prejudice against.  I hate that, and a diagnosis won&#x27;t stop it from happening.  A diagnosis won&#x27;t make people think of me when they&#x27;re planning something.  A diagnosis won&#x27;t give me the right words when someone has lost a loved one.  I&#x27;ve put in a lot of work and made substantial improvement, and unless a diagnosis can help me progress further or faster, it just doesn&#x27;t mean anything to me.