Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?
Hey, OP.<p>Impostor syndrome sucks. Everyone has it. This industry is a bunch of nerds (and this part is not pejorative, I am one) who spent most of their lives being identified by how <i>smart</i> they were and they are culturally incentivized (and this one is pejorative, because tech culture is trash, but it&#x27;s not your fault unless you perpetuate it, so don&#x27;t!) to be desperate to win the approval of their peers by how bulging their foreheads are. You will not, statistically, win enough of these nerd fights to be Lord High Nerd Of All You Survey. You will feel dumb, you will feel clueless. And so does every person around you, including the prick who&#x27;s sneering so you feel worse than he does. I am not intending to be dismissive of how you feel, because I&#x27;ve been there. But I have learned that there are much more important things to worry about than &quot;oh noes, <i>not all of</i> the biggest tech companies don&#x27;t think I&#x27;m A-1 and the stunted people around me kinda suck.&quot; You will, I promise, be fine.<p>You can change the game. I embrace not knowing stuff, and I&#x27;m a consultant so I&#x27;m <i>supposed</i> to be all-knowing. Clients blink in surprise (and <i>appreciate</i>) when I say &quot;I have no idea about that.&quot; I just go find the answer. Because I&#x27;m not dumb. Neither are you.<p>I have a 33% offer rate (3 for 9) when talking to GooAppFaceTwitrosoft. I rejected those three offers. And it&#x27;s funny, right? When I wanted them, they didn&#x27;t want me. When they wanted me, I realized I didn&#x27;t want them. But you&#x27;re inside, at one of the big companies, right? I would hope that you know the game: if you keep applying to these places, if you keep trying, you <i>will</i> eventually get an offer. And if you know the game, you should be able to find the perspective to laugh it off. But I&#x27;d bet money you probably don&#x27;t really want one, at least for the reasons you state.<p>(edit: So I skated over the &quot;death doesn&#x27;t seem so bad&quot; thing on first read, and that&#x27;s red-flaggish. I am <i>not</i> going to flap my hands about depression, because I not a head doctor and don&#x27;t even pretend to be one. But you should talk to someone, &#x27;cause if your brain chemistry tends toward dark places it&#x27;s worth getting checked out, and the advice regarding the Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you&#x27;re feeling <i>really</i> bad is great advice. But, for serious: you will be okay if you give yourself a chance to be. Nothing in tech is worth breaking yourself over.)