Apple’s HomePod sales copy is so bad I bought a Google Home Max
Yes, that text really is an exercise in utter nonsense.<p>This device clearly isn’t aimed at somebody whose “gadget ecology” isn’t entirely Apple-branded (expressed another way, unless Apple already owns your ass because of switching costs), and if somebody can countenance opting for a Google Home Max (or anything else), then one is clearly not in this unhappy category.<p>I am left wondering, however, if <i>anybody</i> at Apple thinks this device is aimed at <i>somebody</i>: the desperation that seems to be transpiring through this copy to find it a purpose, an intended audience, a use-case, would seem to indicate otherwise. This is particularly telling as when it was announced I also thought to myself “oh, who gives a toss?”, followed by “ah, but this is Apple they must have done tons of market research and identified a target niche desperate to part with their well-earned cash, so even if I don&#x27;t care about it, it&#x27;s virtually guaranteed that somebody out there does”. Now I’m starting to wonder otherwise.<p>I am one of those happy slaves that toil within the walled garden of all things Apple: Macs, iPhones, iPads, and AppleTV. I have a couple of ancient iPod HiFi speakers hooked up to AirPort Express units so I can stream music over AirTunes and have been doing so for close to half a decade. My house is not ‘automated’ because the existing systems are those that were installed when it was built and I don&#x27;t give a toss about home automation; that said, I&#x27;ve recently replaced the thermostat with a Nest unit (because it was given to me) and added on a couple of Nest devices beyond that too (security cameras, smoke alarm). I find myself both wishing Nest would add support for HomeKit but also entirely satisfied with the day-to-day experience of using the non-canonical Nest app to manage them, if and when I need to.<p>Like the author, I consider Siri (and most other vocal assistants that I’ve never used, but am just prejudiced against) to be garbage: unworkable, and a flawed user interface paradigm (I&#x27;m of the command line and late-nineties-style GUI persuasion). I don&#x27;t use it on any of my devices except for getting the time when I&#x27;m in bed in the dark. I cannot imagine anybody would want to do anything with it.<p>I take one look at that mesh fabric cylinder and shudder at the thought of what my cats would do to it if they ever came within a parsec of it.<p>I just don&#x27;t understand this thing. I don&#x27;t want this thing. I&#x27;m starting to suspect I might not only be in the typical majority (even in the sub-population of Apple ecosystem captives), but that there might not exist a minority that <i>does</i> want it.