Regrets of the Dying (2010)
Let me share what I thought when I knew that I could legitimately die.<p>I was 21. Save some extra fat on my tummy and a very common kind of infection in my nose, I was very fit and healthy.<p>I was struck by a very rare disease and the doctor asked my family for 72 hours before he could tell whether or not I will live.<p>I spent much of the time under painkillers, intubated, and some tranquilizers. But I did not lose my mind. I was perfectly sane.<p>I realized and decided some things. The experience also bought many changes in me.<p>1. Scores, test, class rank are worth shit. Abandoning group activities and going to places that I would enjoy for preparing better for tests was a huge mistake. I made a decision that I would never do that for stuff meaningless for me.<p>2. There is no need to tolerate people&#x27;s drama. You don&#x27;t owe anyone shit.<p>3. Connections with people matter. The people you care about, you should invest time and effort to make those connections deeper. On the other hand, no need to tolerate people just for the sake societal reasons. Just cut people off who make you unhappy and does not contribute positively to your life.<p>4. Pets rock. For me, pet means dog. I decided to keep at least one dog whenever it would be logistically possible. I have kept the promise I made to myself.<p>5. A deep life is a good life. I wanted to be deeply knowledgeable and good in things rather than hopping among many.<p>6. Helping people is one of the best feelings. I keep doing that.<p>7. Being nice to people is another. I always was more empathetic than others, less judgemental. But my experience with death has made me more so.<p>8. I was big on rationality and I remain the same. But I have learned that going <i>beyond</i> logic is essential for one&#x27;s growth as a human being. (This is the opposite of faith and ignoring logic). I was and remained an athiest. But I started to look into lives of people that I could love and feel devotion towards. The two people were Buddha and Sri Chaitanya. I continue discussing them, studying them, and knowing more about them. Gödel&#x27;s Incompleteness Theorem, Turing&#x27;s Halting problem has helped push me in this direction. Note that I am still an uber-skeptic and don&#x27;t believe in religions or spirit or god or ghosts or whatever.<p>9. I started deeply focusing on what <i>I</i> want. The proverbial &quot;people&quot; can go do themselves.<p>10. The cause of disease is still undiagnosed. There is not enough research. I still learned to value my health.<p>11. I don&#x27;t know why, but my experience has made me calmer. I take decisions more promptly, and in a well-thought out manner.<p>12. My sense of gratitude have increased five-fold. I understand and acknowledge my good fortunes. I complain much less.<p>13. I put more value on gaining physical, sensational pleasures. I used to feel guilty, but I don&#x27;t anymore.<p>14. My capacity to love has increased. I am a bigger man, now.<p>15. I took months, gently, to recognize who I truly am. I have a much better picture of who I am.<p>The experience when you legitimately do not know whether you are going to live is unmatched. It has no parallels.<p>My &quot;advice&quot; would be:<p>1. Focus on personal connections. Work towards deepening them.<p>2. Don&#x27;t tolerate assholes. But don&#x27;t judge them either.<p>3. Help people.<p>4. Focus on what you want rather than what is wanted of you. Invest time and effort in knowing yourself.<p>5. Lead a deep life.