The Essayification of Everything (2013)
Ugh, this is horribly written and even worse when you figure out what she&#x27;s saying. It&#x27;s not until the eighth paragraph that we get to find out what the author is actually talking about when she uses the word &quot;essay&quot;, and at that point we realize she&#x27;s talking about philosophical fluff pieces:<p><i>&quot;When I say “essay,” I mean short nonfiction prose with a meditative subject at its center and a tendency away from certitude.&quot;</i><p>She follows by prescribing that her definition of the word is the correct one, despite openly admitting that hers is not the common definition of the word:<p><i>&quot;Much of the writing encountered today that is labeled as “essay” or “essay-like” is anything but.&quot;</i><p>And finally, she finishes her definition of &quot;essay&quot; with a profoundly anti-intellectual tirade against attempting to share opinions which are based in facts, evidence, or logic:<p><i>&quot;These texts include the kind of writing expected on the SAT, in seminar papers, dissertations, professional criticism or other scholarly writing; politically engaged texts or other forms of peremptory writing that insist upon their theses and leave no room for uncertainty; or other short prose forms in which the author’s subjectivity is purposely erased or disguised. What these texts often have in common is, first, their self-conscious hiding of the “I” under a shroud of objectivity. One has to pretend that one’s opinions or findings have emanated from some office of higher truth where rigor and science are the managers on duty.&quot;</i><p>Nobody in their right mind believes a writer of an essay to be objective. But that doesn&#x27;t mean we should just eschew any attempt to base our written opinions in reality. Speculation is fine for generating ideas, but well-formed, informed opinions are both harder to find and more valuable.<p>Ironically, nowhere in this tirade does the author use the word &quot;I&quot;, or admit that this is just her opinion, or allow for any doubt in the certitude of her assertions. Neither does she provide any evidence to back up her claims. It seems that she thinks that the problem with certitude is not really certitude, but &quot;rigor and science&quot;, and she has decided to lead by example in removing these from her writing.