Ask HN: Telling my boss about a Headhunter
So hey, what would have happened if you hadn&#x27;t responded right away on Sunday but waited until Monday, talked to your boss, and then replied to Famous Company?<p>They wouldn&#x27;t have known. Their message didn&#x27;t say &quot;you are obligated to keep this secret&quot;. And even if it did, you have no such obligation.<p>If you want to make the seduction analog - which I don&#x27;t think is the right one - then Famous Company flirted with you, you responded, and now they are using your response as blackmail to control what you do.<p>Why do you even need to tell Famous Company that you have talked with your boss?<p>I think you should say that you just signed a contract for all of 2018 so you need to talk with your boss to get an idea of what free time you have during the 2018 period before taking on other work.<p>They want to do things under NDA, so your argument might be that you want to figure out your availability before signing the NDA, to help limit needless information disclosure. (Eg, if they have a project which requires 6 months of work but you only have 3, then there&#x27;s no reason for them to tell you about it.)<p>BTW, I&#x27;m a Westerner. Don&#x27;t read all that much into those infographics. For example, stereotypical German punctuality (&quot;the West&quot; in those graphics) is not the same as stereotypical Latin punctuality.<p>In my experience it isn&#x27;t uncommon for employees to use poaching attempts like this for negotiation power. That is, you could go to your current boss and say that Famous Company is looking to hire you, in hopes that your current boss would raise your pay or promote you. And if that happens, then go back to Famous Company to see if you can get an even higher offer.<p>This can be done in both good and bad ways. You should be aware that some people play this game, so bosses on either side might be sensitive either to you playing that game, or them thinking that that&#x27;s what you are doing.<p>But I don&#x27;t think that telling your current boss - who already lets you do some part-time work - that you have the opportunity to do more part-time work for Famous Company, is part of playing that game. That won&#x27;t start until they ask for more time than you have to give them. And you don&#x27;t know how much time that is unless you talk with your current boss.