How to Tell a Mother Her Child Is Dead
I&#x27;ve been a private military contractor for more than thirty years. 
Some of the companies I was working for had very impersonal procedures to handle deaths.
I offered a few times to personally inform the family &#x2F; next of kin for the guys that were working with me directly but that request was always denied because it was not &quot;cost efficient&quot;.<p>So I always did the trip on my own.<p>The loss hit them like a truck every time, I have a few memories that make me wake up in the middle of the night three days a week but the look on a mother&#x27;s face when you tell her that her son is dead is something you will never forget as long as you live.<p>Still, I am glad I went to see every family of everyone I lost in all those years. There was crying and screaming and tears and a lot of blaming, I even got slapped a few times but I always told them I&#x27;ll be in a hotel nearby for the next days and if they want to talk they can call me any time of the day.<p>Some never called but after a day or two most invited me back to their home or came by and we had a few long talks over the next days until I had to go.<p>I&#x27;ve been in touch with most of those families over the years and I heard a lot of times that it gave them peace to know that I was there when their son &#x2F; brother &#x2F; husband &#x2F; grandson died and that I came by personally to try to comfort them before they got &quot;the letter&quot;.<p>I wish everyone that you will never come into this situation because it&#x27;s almost as hard and unfair to be the messenger as it is to be the recipient of that message.