My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
Nice story. It takes some experience and self knowledge to identify what is a joke and what is bullying. Most men just want to be liked, seem witty and funny, and sometimes are just going a too far to show off. But there&#x27;s a group of people who will belittle you to humiliate and assert their higher position in the hierarchy and this is a part of an ugly campaign to destroy any competition (which also means you&#x27;re perceived as dangerous). And misunderstandings happen, with victims on both sides, but it&#x27;s valuable to know some people have hidden motives.<p>I have a different issue, I think it has something to do with male&#x2F;female relations at workplace. I&#x27;m the lead dev in a mixed team. And one of devs, who happens to be a girl, has some special attitude. Whenever I report a problem with the code, or a bug, she jumps in and exclaims it&#x27;s not her code or she didn&#x27;t do anything related to the problem, basically not her fault [without any suggestions that it might be her fault]. Sometimes tries to blame someone else. If anything points to her responsibility, she downplays it (oh you know I don&#x27;t even remember). All while I try to avoid blaming or pointing code ownership. But the most difficult part was when I pointed out some parts were missing in her work and function wasn&#x27;t completed - then I was accused of being mean and attacking her without any reason. Never had such situation, I am rather a considerate, polite person, try to remain professional and never touch personal side - but this just perplexed me. With a male dev it would not be possible, but when a woman accuses a man of harassment or bullying at work the man is considered guilty by default. I perceived this as a threat - never ever criticize my work or you will be accused. Unfortunately she&#x27;s not doing that great job sometimes and so cooperation gets quite difficult - and I&#x27;m afraid it&#x27;s not going to be good in future.