Ask HN: What's the biggest problem you face as a parent?
Both are formally recognised as autistic (most of my extended family is, I haven&#x27;t bothered with any formalities myself), but of the nature they are both academically very strong, the oldest one finished high school with over 95% final marks and is in first year uni doing elec eng, his younger sister is top of her year for science, math and music and I have not had to push either of them more than the odd occasion maybe once or twice a year max.<p>But, the oldest one was so anxious about going to uni first two weeks he was throwing up in the morning from anxiety and I wondered if he was going to be able to stick with it - he&#x27;s doing fine now, looks like he will score around 98% for the advanced eng math in first semester, but it wasn&#x27;t looking likely he would even attend for a while.<p>He was three and a half when the district nurse pointed out he had 12 words, which I hadn&#x27;t really noticed because he had no problem communicating, just didn&#x27;t use a lot of words. When he started primary school they said he would need a full time teachers assistant to aid him to participate in a normal school. I totally couldn&#x27;t see that at the time because he seemed fine to me. Funding was declined and we just let him go and he was totally fine in the end, better than fine. But it was a small school kept very tightly in order and all expectations were very clear, so he more or less flourished there.<p>His younger sister is anxious quite a bit, she tends to catrasophise and I have only been able to get her on a plane once in 15 years. First few years of high school it was not uncommon for her to be crying in the car out front of school, not wanting to in. She wants to be a chemical engineer and specialise in extreme food science, but that requires a fair amount of socialisation it seems likely.<p>We have gotten some help for both of them and there is stuff going on to help them, from professionals.<p>But socialisation and avoidance of a slide into agoraphobia is by far the hardest thing to help them get along with. I am divorced from the mother and it doesn&#x27;t help the younger one is not enjoying time at her mothers house for a variety of reasons, so has not spent a night there for months now.<p>They are both wonderful children, gentle and kind and abnormally close siblings, with reasonable manners, when they remember. Grandma is not impressed with their lacker of silver service cutlery wrangling, but I say let them use chopsticks...<p>I guess a lot of people would happily trade places for the positives vs the challenges and I am not unhappy about the situation in any deeply disturbed manner, but worry about them a little sometimes for if adult life takes a lonely or debilitating turn for them some how. I am hoping that the help they are getting now will avert or decrease such event&#x2F;s, but you never know.