How Doctors Die (2013)
I&#x27;m afraid of death. Very afraid. I&#x27;m pretty sure we&#x27;re just meat sacks and when my heart stops beating that&#x27;ll be the end of all that I am, and that scares the shit out of me. Calling what I feel about death &quot;fear&quot; is almost a category error; it&#x27;s a five-hundred-foot-tall Godzilla of dread looming just behind me always, and every so often I happen to think about it, I happen to turn and glance at it, and my stomach just drops. The realization that it&#x27;s all going to end is the ultimate anxiety underlying all others.<p>So when I read something like this, it just seems... so alien. I can&#x27;t imagine a pain or any feeling, really, worth wishing I was dead over. There can&#x27;t be anything worse than death. There just can&#x27;t. Pretty much any amount of bad is preferable to infinite nothing.<p>Maybe the scariest part is that one day, I&#x27;m afraid I might change my mind. I&#x27;m afraid I might be brought to a point where I think, &quot;Ah, this is it. This is the feeling that&#x27;s worth dying to escape&quot;. The only thing scarier than the worst fear imaginable is the unthinkable idea of a pain so unimaginable that it makes succumbing to that fear seem like a mercy.