Ask HN: I received a great offer, but am unsure about relocating
I&#x27;ve been there.<p>I&#x27;m a marketer, and back when I was fairly junior in my career and working at ad agencies, the small agency I was at hit some rough times. I was let go, but they gave me two weeks notice and within that time I secured three other offers.<p>One of the offers was in Troy, MI at a very reputable agency on a big auto account. Somehow I had convinced them that I was at a Director level when I was like three years out of school, but it was the beginning days of digital media, and I knew more than most so was able to really sell myself.<p>Anyway, so the role would require I move from where I lived in Chicago at the time to somewhere near Troy. I had just started dating a wonderful woman and was incredibly torn.  Do I go for an early career boost to salary and comp and end what seemed like the most promising relationship I&#x27;d been in at that point in my life (since she would not have relocated at that point in our relationship)? Or do I stay local and take less pay than the other opportunity (still a nice bump over what I had been at) and stay with her.<p>In the end I turned down that offer in MI to take the Chicago offer. As luck would have it, the auto account I was going to work on (Chrysler) went bankrupt two weeks later.<p>I got awesome experience at the agency I chose, and realized I would have been WAY out of my depth at the place in MI given my actual experience, and would probably have been setup for failure.<p>Shortly after, she and I moved in together. A few years and jobs later, I ended up marrying her and back in 2013 we both moved for work again (well, mostly because I was sick of Chicago winters) to the Bay Area where we&#x27;ve been ever since. While things are insanely expensive here, I love the weather and lifestyle I have here that I could never have in Chicago.<p>Here&#x27;s the thing...soul mates are a bit harder to find than jobs, especially when you are in an in-demand field and are fending off recruiters with a stick. If you can get a job offer at your dream company, you can get a job offer at a slightly less dreamy company and make things work on the relationship side.  Or your relationship might implode and you might be stuck regretting not making the jump. It worked out for me and I have zero regrets, but that&#x27;s survivor bias.<p>Other options might include seeing if they&#x27;ll let you work remotely or seeing if she&#x27;ll agree to move temporarily and reassess at a given point.<p>I&#x27;m not clear how senior you are in your field, but relocation can be a bumpy ride depending on how much support you would have from them. Relocating while moving in together for the first time adds major stress and bumpiness. If you feel this could be the one, you should do everything you can to stay with them and make things work. If you are not sure or have doubts, you might need to do some real soul searching.