Stop Faking Service Dogs
Public service announcement: around a couple percent of people, including me, have pet allergies. These are of varying severity. Mine are apparently worse then average. The consequences of a severe exposure are unpredictable, but can be closer to a catastrophe then a temporary inconvenience. I won’t get into the grisly details, but I have been to ER for this, and my doctor told me to carry an Epipen.<p>A lot of people don’t know that animal dander persists in the environment after the animal is gone and transfers onto clothing and upholstery. If I get exposed, I will be sick until I take a shower, change my clothes, and then wait several hours. I will get sick in the presence of upholstery or fabric that certain pets have been in contact with, until that material has been washed. Examples include houses, cars, airplanes, all the clothes in your suitcase that are spread around my hotel room, etc. The after-effects of a strong exposure can last for a couple of days (again, I will spare the details).<p>This is a huge ass pain for me, and I’m doing everything I can to work on it. I get three injections every week, I’m on several drugs, etc.  But in spite of all of that, the social problems are worse then the health problems, because people aren’t aware of the issue, and become offended, argumentative, or defensive when I try to escape. I think that people sometimes believe that I am criticizing their pet, their hospitality, or their housekeeping, or that I am irrational or attention seeking.<p>I have been accused of hypochondria (I’ve given this honest consideration, but several of my dearest family members observe that I accurately detect pet owners in blind tests by becoming sick in the presence of their clothing and effects, without advance knowledge of their pet ownership status; also, my doctor  pretty much freaked out about the results of my allergy diagnostics). My friend (an RN) got super pissed when my mom asked her nicely not to bring her dog inside my house. Pet owning friends have argued and interrogated me when I offer my apologies and say I can’t stay for dinner. Last week a really nice lady brought her cute guinea pig to an event and waved it around my face. I had to figure out how to flee without hurting her feelings. I really like animals, and the whole thing sucks, but it’s mostly beyond my control.<p>Surviving the “pet friendly” workplace is a serious problem when considering employment, and I have yet to muster the courage to be “that guy” who asks to be reseated on an airplane, in a restaurant, or complained in the college tutoring session because someone brought their dog.<p>I&#x27;m totally willing to take one for the team if someone legit needs a seeing eye dog or something. I just wish that my friend who took her “emotional support animal” on the airplane believed that she was, on average, making several people on each flight sick as a trade off. When I told her I had pet allergies, she said she cured hers with mindfulness and meditation. I’m still not totally sure which one of us is superstitious, but I promise, I actually really did like her dog.