Facebook's mental health problem
As someone who got rid of facebook in 2013 and has not gone back:<p>I may not have scientific evidence but I think alot of us could say it feels like an addiction, and even is something we don&#x27;t want to do but do anyways, it makes us less happy but we still do it, it distracts us from work but we still do it, it robs of of intimacy but we still do it. I don&#x27;t know about scientific research but that sounds like an addiction to me. THAT, is why social media is dangerous.<p>Do you have goals in life? Is social media effecting your goals and the people around you? Then limit it or get it out of your life.<p>I also think it plays into depression for a lot of people because:<p>1. People cherry pick what they want to share so you are not getting an accurate representation, and thus youre comparing all of your life, the cherry picked and non cherry picked to theirs, which will inevitably lead to dissapointment. They will show their photos of their trip to France but not that they fight almost every night or have not done their dishes in a week. They will post pictures of sushi but not how eating out all the time is racking up their credit card debt. Maybe you should stay at home and save money and maybe they are destroying their financial lives, but yet you still feel inadequate for not having as exciting of a life? That doesn&#x27;t sound healthy..<p>2. It&#x27;s a stalking website for insecure people and people who do not have the courage to engage or care enough to maintain a real relationships but want to keep tabs on you. Why would someone who never interacts with you in real life want to keep tabs on you? Try to that answer that quesion. Does it lead to anything good?<p>Now ask yourself why do YOU need it? Do to those same things to other people? To feel better about yourself? Why do you have so many selfies? Who are you trying to impress? What are you trying to prove to other people? What are you trying to prove to yourself?<p>I&#x27;ll admit when fb first came out it was fun, before relatives and employers and ads came onto it. It was a way to get invited to college parties and wake up the next morning and laugh with your roomies as you scroll through pics and remember what happened the night before. It was NOT about relationship pain, being forced to announce to the whole world when something happens to you or you break up, hating other people and ways to engage in infidelity, or bragging about how many tens of thousands of dollars you spent on your wedding photographer, but lets be honest with ourselves, now it is.<p>SOME ANECDOTAL STUFF:<p>For some people its reddit. my ex boyfriend was so addicted to reddit we could be in the middle of a crisis, or on one such occasion I was discussing the pros and cons of a long distance job that would require one of us moving or living apart and thus him doubling his rent expenses, things I would assume he would be inherently interested in and he was browsing reddit on his phone the whole time. its like, nothing was more important than reddit. Sometimes its just about maturity and respect. He would stay up late at night and complain about not getting sleep because he couldn&#x27;t stop browsing reddit.<p>It even affected our intimate life. I&#x27;m not a controlling girlfriend, and I respect if other people have different opinions or boundaries for what is ok with their boyfriends to do or not do, but I didn&#x27;t really care he looked at porn. But over time amateur stuff on reddit became an obsession and anytime I did not feel comfortable doing something he would try to say well other girls do it on here. Well I&#x27;m not them.<p>How am I supposed to beat the collective satisfaction of the entire internet or even compete with it? There will always be a prettier, more successful girl with better photoshopped selfies and a shorter skirt on facebook you are friends with, than me. There will always be a girl on the internet willing to do something in bed I&#x27;m not willing to do. So accept me for who I am or get over it and move on.
(The long end to that story is I did have to dump him because this kind of stuff ended up destroying our relationship and now he is incredibly depressed and I get emails from him about how its &quot;eating him away inside&quot; regarding the state of our relationship when it ended. Yup, thats right social media distorted his ability to properly value what was standing right in front of him and as a result he lost what really mattered to him, wow, sounds like an addiction to me.)<p>But the truth is with that attitude nothing will ever satisfy you, so the more you do it, the more of a drug it is the more you need it the more it&#x27;s never enough, the more the person your dating seems somehow subpar to the collective standards of all the other people you browse or look at or are &quot;friends&quot; with on facebook while forgetting that as individuals all of those people have flaws and limitations and after a year of living with them will probably dissapoint you in some ways as well, and the less the people around you in your real life will be able to satisfy you.<p>I got rid of facebook in 2013 after I broke up with my ex, because everyone in our friends group didn&#x27;t want to talk to either of us about how we were doing or help, they just wanted to see when we would change our relationships status so they could talk about us behind our back. The second I did guys that had not spoken to me in months or years were suddenly texting me like hey whats up. Really?<p>That&#x27;s when I realized the people who actually care about you don&#x27;t need your facebook profile. People who need your facebook profile are people who want to talk poorly of you and compare you to other people and judge you and keep track of when you can be of use to them, relationship wise or otherwise. What a pointless network it&#x27;s devolved into.<p>Since I got rid of facebook the week we broke up, my life has gotten so much better. I&#x27;m focused on MY life, not anyone elses, and when I accomplish something its for ME. I don&#x27;t have anywhere to post it or brag about it so you have to ask yourself what really motivates you in life? If impressing other people has anything to do with it then social media is probably going to aid in that toxic thought process you have an influence your behavior in a way that may ultimately be harmful to you.<p>My real friends which is maybe 5 or 6, some who live across the country still remember to call me on my birthday even though fb does not remind them. People I was not that close to or I didn&#x27;t think I would ever be friends with stepped up and really reached out to me and helped me get through a hard time, people i least expected and they are not toxic or gossipy and they are not checking my facebook to laugh about me behind my back.<p>If a guy or really anyone at all ever wants to get to know me, he has to actually walk up to me and start a conversation, or is going to meet me through mutual friends, REAL friends, not friends scheming to hook people up on facebook, and before the conversation he doesnt kno
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1. how old i am where i went to school who i am dating who im friends with what i looked like on my summer vacation last year...<p>so all of my relationships  friendships or otherwise feel much more organic and it weeds out people who can use information about you to manipulate you or mirror your interests fakely to get close to you.