Identify a remarkable trait in anyone, then either copy or avoid it
I think this is how you get highly superficial people with layers that don&#x27;t make sense stacked on top of each other.<p>I&#x27;ve done this. Don&#x27;t waste your time. If you&#x27;d like to do this in a real way, identify the values in the other person that lead to that trait. Then compare it to your values. Then pretend you&#x27;re doing it and see what fears come up along the way. Talk to your fears about it and see if there&#x27;s a way around it -- your fears are a part of you after all. And they&#x27;re very much able to engage in conversation if you push a little consciousness their way and bring them to more of a conversational and not trauma-time-all-the-time kind of place.<p>The first approach may seem to work at first and will get you near and close, but not truly intimate with people. It&#x27;s the loneliest kind of isolation and misery possible -- thinking you&#x27;re the person that you&#x27;ve aspired to be, but still missing everything.<p>Learn from my mistakes on this one and please, I&#x27;d absolutely encourage that you avoid the author&#x27;s advice too, if you can help it! :)))) Real and silly &gt; perfect and pristine, any day, not matter what or how the opinions of others strike us (much to the despair of the parts of us that deeply rely on others and the opinions of others for our own self-worth).<p>Just my two cents! :D :))))