How to disagree with someone more powerful than you (2016)
This is a bizarre article to me.<p>I always look at it as if it is my job to disagree and let anyone know about it who needs to know. In a polite and diplomaitic way, the same as any other conversation.<p>Not voicing one&#x27;s thoughts can have a dire effect on a business, a division, a group, and&#x2F;or an individual.<p>We are all there to voice our disagreements, it&#x27;s why we are hired in the first place.<p>I have <i>never</i> had a boss who didn&#x27;t want my disagreement, my questions, my thoughts. Not once. I&#x27;ve had a lot of jobs. I guess it isn&#x27;t impossible to have a boss like that, but I think it would be fairly rare. If it did happen to me, I&#x27;d figure it out, and then start applying for new jobs, if it was reasonable and possible. If not, then I&#x27;d just STFU and keep my head down.<p>But, I guess this article is for people who <i>don&#x27;t</i> feel comfortable with being assertive, but then, to me, that means someone is not assertive in everything, including asking for a raise. In this case, you should honestly go to a therapist who specializes in assertiveness training. Truly. It would be a fantastic investment.<p>Both men and women should be assertive. Both men and women have problems with assertiveness. And I don&#x27;t mean to sound sexist, but especially women have problems with this. I personally think that is maybe 60% why women get paid less than men, because men are on a whole more aggressive. Not all, but statistically. I don&#x27;t have published statistics on this, but I do have a ton of anecdotal stories that indicate at least to me that&#x27;s the case. I&#x27;ve known <i>extremely</i> assertive women and they make as much money and more than men, and I&#x27;ve known women who are not assertive and miss out on raises. Again, it is the same with men, but I think it&#x27;s more with women that are like this, for a lot of reasons.<p>One anecdotal story - I was hired the exact same day as a woman who was better than me at the job, I knew this factually from day 1. No doubt. The hiring guy, the owner, said that after 30 days, he would re-evaluate and if he like our performance, would increase salary. On day 30, I was in front of his desk, and he <i>doubled</i> my pay rate. From $60 to $120 per hour. Not bad. 6 months later, this same woman comes up to me and says, &quot;Did you get a raise? How much?&quot; So I said yes, I asked 30 days after he said to ask, didn&#x27;t you???&quot; She said no. So that means I was paid 100% more than a woman that was way more qualified than I.<p>To me, that is her fault that she didn&#x27;t get paid as much as me, a less qualified man. It would be another man&#x27;s fault, too, if he didn&#x27;t ask for the raise. She&#x27;s a fucking grown-ass woman, am I supposed to do everything for her, double-check all her work and her everything? Is the boss? And, I&#x27;m sure as there are stars in the sky, if I did, she or some other woman would come at me with the whole &quot;patronizing&quot; and &quot;mansplaining&quot; stuff if I asked stuff like that...&quot;Oh, you don&#x27;t think women can do what men do? SEXISM.&quot;  I KNOW there are some other women who would be there on day 30. But I think most women, and a lot, lot, lot of men just to be rewarded for their work without asking, that the bosses should just pay them more and <i>see</i> their contributions. This is what a child does, they expect mommy and daddy to give them things without asking.<p>I think that &quot;equal pay for equal work&quot; is not entirely accurate. Sure, some is, maybe 5-10%. But I think the real saying should be &quot;equal pay for equal assertiveness and aggressiveness.&quot; It is a fact everywhere I&#x27;ve been - Assertive people make more money. &quot;Equal pay for equal work&quot; is so passive and dependent, like an infant. Man up. Woman up. Open your mouth.<p>I hope no one sees this as &quot;mansplaining&quot; or &quot;sexist&quot;. I WANT women, <i>and men</i>, to get paid their full value by being politely and diplomatically assertive in all areas of life, not just work or income.<p>I&#x27;m writing all of this, because maybe you all (women and men) are much younger than I am and you have never really thought of this in depth.  Maybe you have thought about it a little but no one has ever been straight up with you.<p>So go to a therapist for assertiveness training, if you have problems with being assertive. It&#x27;s probably the best money and time you&#x27;ll ever spend.<p>Also, you can read articles about assertiveness training 
<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.google.com&#x2F;search?q=assertiveness+skills" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.google.com&#x2F;search?q=assertiveness+skills</a><p>You can also watch videos
<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;results?search_query=assertiveness+skills" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;results?search_query=assertiveness+s...</a><p>And use a therapist.<p>Do all these things, learn from multiple sources.