Down the Rabbit Hole: The world of estranged parents' forums (2015)
I&#x27;ve been estranged from my dad for decades - I even changed my name when I reached adulthood, to further separate myself from him. By outward appearances it was the perfect nuclear family - father a successful and connected politician with charming perfect children and a doting wife. Inside though, he was a drunkard, a narcissist, horribly abusive on every level to my mother, and otherwise absent in my childhood when he wasn&#x27;t busy talking about himself and his successes.<p>All that said, now as a parent myself, I feel sorry for him. I consider his childhood and realize he didn&#x27;t have a chance - he was screwed up from the very beginning. Parenting is darn hard and even if you spent your early years baby-sitting or as a camp counselor or something, it still doesn&#x27;t prepare you for when they are your own and you have responsibility for them 24x7 from now into eternity. Throw in an unhappy marriage or a failed career and is it any wonder so many parents end up estranged from their children?<p>So, yeah, the brief article matches my own experiences and those of other people I&#x27;ve spoken with who are estranged from their parents. I think about it regularly, as if I mistreated my children in the same way I can&#x27;t say I would really blame them for not wanting to associate with me in adulthood when they are able to make that decision for themselves. As my kids have gotten older, I&#x27;ve even made a point to explain to them that every parent is just a human who is mostly winging it trying the best they can -- and that&#x27;s the thing kids tend to realize, IE: my parent might not have known what to do, but if they showed love and concern, that tends to trump any mistakes.