Ask HN: How to find an effective career coach?
I think it is time for you to take
Massive Action to improve your political, persuasion, speech, conflict negotiation skills. I’ll
Make some recommendations below after this monologue.<p>I worked in some very awful environments. My solution was historically to participate in what was going on and the ultimately become very upset and leave. Generally speaking, conflict is present everywhere but far worse in some environments and not possible to save.<p>You can either (a)attempt to clean the mess and make your new environment habitable or (b) keep your head down, ship your project and leave.<p>Your intent to do (a) is admirable and rare. If the culture has become toxic, attempting to survive is kind of like being a fish in a dirty fish tank. You can gasp for air and breathe your own poop in for some period of time but you are ultimately poisoning yourself by staying and the point of doing this isn’t clear.<p>The economy is currently at full employment. In this situation I would most advice getting out. You are never going to have an easier time finding a better paying job someplace else. Chances are we are headed into some sort of financial meltdown due to China, trade war, China retaliating against the United States tech sector, one or more countries leaving the Euro and the final deflation of our current bubble due to lack of interest rates.<p>If you don’t like where you are, it may become much harder to find a better job in the next year in which case - You get to breathe in your own poop for several years for no real gain to your own mental health.<p>If you are really sticking to it and mastering communication, psychology, politics and persuasion I recommend:<p>Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson<p>Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss<p>The Political Brain by Drew Weston<p>Influence by Robert Cialdini<p>Words That Work by Frank Luntz<p>Pre-Suasion by Robert Cialdini<p>Win Bigly by Scott Adams<p>Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton<p>I just bought this book but haven’t yet read it -<p>Radical Candor by Kim Scott<p>My recommendation to you is not to take the route of dishonesty, back stabbing, lying, deceit.<p>Do. Not. Participate.<p>Be the person who is ridiculously truthful. Draw clear barriers and IMMEDIATELY and POLITELY call out transgressions you see.<p>Awful behavior within the organization is like weeds growing in your yard. You must not tolerate a single weed. When you see someone doing or saying something (especially if they are being deceitful and you see through what they are doing), Call Them On It.<p>Nothing will suppress bullshit like pointing it out and making it clear that you see what is going on and would prefer it otherwise.<p>That is my lesson in my life. When I ultimately decided to be truthful it created this halo around me which melted all bullshit, zapped it like a bug zapper.<p>And don’t engage in shit talking other people.<p>Engaging in shitty behavior within a company is like farting in a submarine. There is no escape, no one is going anywhere, everyone is exposed to the toxic stink including you. There can be zero farting in the submarine before the culture can be fixed.<p>Godspeed.