Rejection Sensitivity
How much violence in society is a reaction to cumulative rejection? I&#x27;d guess a good deal if not most of it. Our ancient lobster-shared neural mechanisms take it deadly seriously whether we do consciously or not. From the long perspective of our selfish genes, rejection is a mortal threat.<p>I appreciate the sympathetic treatment of incels in this article, which seems like an exception to the norm. I think most of us can sense the pain that goes with this designation. At least with race or gender based rejection we can see progress and action and a way forward. But how do you deal with rejection that isn&#x27;t about your group, but is about your personal characteristics, your character and attractiveness? Things you either can&#x27;t change or would make you someone else if you did? Violence is a loathsome reaction, but not one that&#x27;s hard to understand.<p>I think that&#x27;s why incels attract such hate. We usually can&#x27;t help them, so our empathy becomes just frustration and shared pain. We imagine the mix of anger and depression a lifetime of that would cause us, which leads us to fear them. We reject people for suffering too much rejection, a vicious circle.<p>Yet much rejection is utterly necessary. You can&#x27;t be a friend, lover or business partner with everyone. We must sometimes cause as well as recieve such deep pain. It&#x27;s not a solvable problem.