Ask HN: What do you wish you had taught/done for your children at an early age?
Welcome to parenthood and congratulations on your new little one!!<p>I have two stepchildren (8 and 6) and a 2 year old. I&#x27;m far from an expert and, if you want straight up truth, I can&#x27;t think of any other relationships that have made me doubt myself so much.<p>But, if I could give you a bit of advice, first, I&#x27;d tell you to genuinely get to know your child, figure out what he or she loves and get as involved in it as you can. My stepchildren were a little bit older when I met them, so I didn&#x27;t get the chance to see them transition from babies into little people, but seriously bud, I&#x27;m starting to cry just thinking about watching my little girl start to develop into herself.<p>The more that I&#x27;ve opened myself up to letting my kids guide their own development, the more they&#x27;ve driven my own development. In fact, looking back on the last four years, I&#x27;d argue that they were more involved in my development that I was possibly involved in theirs.<p>I&#x27;m a stutterer who hides it well, so I&#x27;m maybe a little more sensitive about speech issues than the average bear, but I got into a habit that some early childhood education types seem to love. Lauren (my two year old) is very vocal, but there are some sounds that she has trouble with, and so I try to make those sounds part of our play.<p>The hard &#x27;C&#x27; and &#x27;G&#x27; sounds are two that Lauren has some trouble with, so one of our favourite games is &#x27;Claw&#x27;. My hands are &#x27;Big Claws&#x27; and her hands are &#x27;Little Claws&#x27;. The Big Claws love Little Claws, but, being hands, they don&#x27;t have brains, so they don&#x27;t understand things like their own reflections and they can only say &#x27;grrrrr&#x27;.<p>The neat thing is that now, she likes playing &#x27;Claw&#x27; too, so she will call them. In the early days, she clearly said &#x27;Plaw&#x27;, but with several months, it&#x27;s getting closer to a hard &#x27;C&#x27; and the growls, which used to sound like &#x27;derrrr&#x27; are getting closer to &#x27;grrrrrr&#x27;.<p>Music and dance are also pretty huge for us, but my girlfriend and I are both absolutely obsessed with music. I am a hardcore vinyl collector and, seriously bud, whatever you do, if you collect vinyl, DON&#x27;T SHOW YOUR TODDLER HOW TO SCRATCH. You might think it&#x27;s a good way to teach him&#x2F;her how to handle vinyls, but I have two dead records (including a formerly mint copy of Highway 61 Revisited) and two dead cartridges to serve as constant reminders of the errors of my ways.<p>Some of my favourite moments with my kids have been our almost daily dance parties. I&#x27;ll throw on anything imaginable and figure out what they like to listen to as we go. You might be surprised by some of the music that your kids love. My eight year old stepdaughter likes pop music and trance (?), my six year old stepson likes guitar even more than I do - he&#x27;s currently pretty obsessed with Soundgarden and Nirvana, so my next mission is to introduce him to Kyuss. My two year old likes traditional toddler stuff like Dora, Daniel Tiger, and Thomas the Train Engine, but she&#x27;s also into some completely baffling stuff like Sepultura (Max Cavalera is the only singer she likes more than Daniel Tiger), Nailbomb (again with the Max Cavalera), the Cavalera Connection (are you seeing a trend?), the Melvins and the Wu Tang Clan. She&#x27;s also really into traditional pow wow music (Young Bear is her favourite), traditional rockabilly (she used to nap to Johnny Cash and now she&#x27;s developed a strong love for Buddy Holly and Jerry Lee Lewis) and psychobilly (there was a time when I genuinely thought that her first words would be Reverend Horton Heat lyrics).<p>I think that music and rhythm are really good for young brains and our dance parties are pretty amazing forms of exercise, but I think this all goes back to my first bit of advice. Introduce your kids to the widest range of things imaginable, figure out what they love, and I think that you&#x27;ll be well on your way.<p>Edit - I forgot to mention two things. Lots of parents really love television&#x2F;Youtube. We don&#x27;t let our kids watch tons of television and we try to limit screen time in general, but sometimes, the screens will keep you sane. When your little one gets a little older, you might find yourself watching tons of children&#x27;s television to see what is a nice blend of wholesome and educational. Of all the shows that I&#x27;ve watched, &quot;Daniel Tiger&#x27;s Neighbourhood&quot; is my absolute favourite. The Mr. Rogers Foundation&#x2F;Company&#x2F;Whatever it is is heavily involved in Daniel Tiger. They&#x27;re wonderful little shows. If Lauren had her way, she&#x27;d replace Music Man Stan with Max Cavalera, but hey, dare to dream.<p>The second bit of &#x27;advice&#x27; I could give you is that it&#x27;s okay to be frustrated by your little one. Kids are a big learning curve and it doesn&#x27;t matter how much you love them, sometimes they&#x27;ll be very frustrating. It&#x27;s okay to feel like that and it&#x27;s okay to vent. It&#x27;s also okay (I&#x27;d say necessary) to be an adult with adult hobbies. Even when  Lauren was very young, I still made a point of going out, watching the Yankees play and having a pint.