A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people
There seems to be a non-fringe sentiment that &quot;this is pretending to care&quot; or &quot;you can&#x27;t automate friendship&quot;, etc.<p>I see where it&#x27;s coming from, and I agree to some extent - I wouldn&#x27;t want to be contacted &quot;for the sake of it&quot;. Feeling like it&#x27;s a chore for the other person that they have to get through, in the hopes of some (maybe financial?) reward at the end of it.<p>However, I think this approach warrants some defense against the &quot;I would purposefully avoid people like this&quot; reaction.<p>Using myself as an example - I have considered doing something similar, and I liked the article a lot. And it&#x27;s not because I &quot;want to hack some serendipity&quot;, but because I genuinly have a hard time finding enough time for all the things that matter in life. Having a system in place doesn&#x27;t mean it&#x27;s fake, it means you are prioritizing this aspect of your life (i.e. you care enough) and are finding ways to fit it into everything else you have going on.<p>In a normal workday I spend ~9 hours in &quot;work mode&quot;. I want to fit in ~1-2h of running every day to counteract my sedentary lifestyle. I need to spend some quality time with the immediate family (wife and kids) - let&#x27;s say ~2 hours. And there are additional little everyday tasks that need to happen every day - shopping, helping kids with their homework, doing the dishes, etc.<p>How much time does this leave to socialize? I will occasionally think of some friend or another, and miss them. But I won&#x27;t have time to reach out in the moment. And then - e.g. when the weekend comes - who do I reach out to? Do I spend every saturday just calling everybody in a row?<p>I enjoy catching up with my friends, but it takes a lot of energy for me. I can&#x27;t feasibly reach out to everybody in a given weekend - it would leave me completely drained, and exhausted.<p>So I prioritize. I try to reach out to people I haven&#x27;t spoken to in a longer time period. Or people I know have had some life event happen recently, etc. I try to find a way to keep in touch with most people, instead of just a few of them.<p>But here&#x27;s my issue - it&#x27;s hard to remember how to schedule who to get in touch with, and when. &quot;Did I last talk to X 1 week or 2 weeks ago? Should I get in touch with Y instead?&quot; etc.<p>Now, I could start taking paper notes, or look at my calendar, etc. But at this point I&#x27;m setting up some mental system to help me with the scheduling. Which is basically just a different (possibly less efficient) flavor of what&#x27;s described in the article.<p>Now, maybe I&#x27;m projecting, and this doesn&#x27;t apply to many others. But please consider - if you feel someone in your life is reaching out through automated means - that they might really care, and just have a hard time figuring out how to do it otherwise. If scheduling catch ups comes naturally to you, it might not to others.<p>(and I know the article mentions &quot;serendipity&quot; and is not necessarily about catching up with close friends. I think it works well for both)