Ask HN: Courses/resources to improve my self-esteem and believe in myself more?
Yes, I wish I could PM you.<p>I spent lots of time in front of therapists as well. What I got for it was an education in how I got to be who I am today. My recommendation is to save your money, watch School of Life videos (<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.theschooloflife.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.theschooloflife.com&#x2F;</a>) and you can figure out why you are you. The short answer is; your upbringing, because it&#x27;s very hard to change that internal original programming.<p>The goal of therapy is &#x27;know yourself&#x27;. So when you do eventually do &#x27;know yourself&#x27; therapy is not going to be much help; you have achieved the goal of therapy.<p>(Side note: If you have had recent or unresolved trauma then &#x27;yourself&#x27; has changed, go back to therapy to locate the new you.)<p>Although I do not like the term AT ALL, it sounds like you know who you are; you are a person with &#x27;low self esteem&#x27;. I too, had &quot;Low self esteem&quot; as the therapists put it. What they didn&#x27;t say is &quot;Ok here&#x27;s what you do with that&quot;.<p>Here is what I heard: &quot;Go volunteer. Give back. Help others.&quot;.<p>Bullshit. That is misguided advice. You end up acting charitable and feeling used.<p>Or I hear &quot;Go out, meet people.&quot;<p>Also, bad advice. I&#x27;m struggling and you are asking me to put social interactions on top of that too?  No.<p>A Zen Buddhist monk once told me something that I think is applicable to you. &quot;You can not directly control your emotions, they are too powerful, all you can control is your behavior. Control your behavior long enough your emotions will change.&quot;<p>That goes directly inline with the advice I&#x27;m about to give you, which is simply this:<p>Be competent.<p>Focus your energy on directing your behavior on being absolutely competent in one single area of your life and get mastery over it; absolute competence.<p>Once you feel like you have changed and have gained sufficient competency, move to the next thing. Build yourself up brick by brick by your actions and behavior.<p>It is much, much harder than just sitting talking to a therapist, but an order of magnitude more effective.