Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
If you suspect that you&#x27;re a narcissist, then you probably aren&#x27;t one.<p>True narcissists won&#x27;t even have the thought cross their mind or see it as something to fix. They think they are perfect in every way. To admit to imperfection would shatter their sense of self and that is something they must protect at all costs. They can&#x27;t see how their behavior affects others. They are God&#x27;s gift to us in their minds.<p>You&#x27;re probably just self-centered. Not quite the same as NPD.<p>Try these things:<p>* Don&#x27;t like listening to people? Get over it, practice listening<p>* Judge situations from just your perspective? Just try to see it from another angle.<p>* Inflated ego? We all came screaming head first out of a vagina or yanked out of a cut womb. You&#x27;re not special. We&#x27;re all going to die.<p>* Take things too personally? Try meditating.<p>EDIT:<p>Been reading through the comments and most of you are uneducated about the true nature of narcissists or have never crossed paths with one in any meaningful way (luckily for you).<p>Here are the spark notes about narcissists:<p>The DSM-V defines narcissism as:<p>`A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for
admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and
present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the
following:`<p>To be categorized as a narcissist you have to meet 5 of 9 traits defined here :<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.nyu.edu&#x2F;gsas&#x2F;dept&#x2F;philo&#x2F;courses&#x2F;materials&#x2F;Narc.Pers.DSM.pdf" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.nyu.edu&#x2F;gsas&#x2F;dept&#x2F;philo&#x2F;courses&#x2F;materials&#x2F;Narc.P...</a><p>* Narcissists aren&#x27;t born, they are created and there is a strong link that shows it is a heritable characteristic learned in early adolescence.<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov&#x2F;pmc&#x2F;articles&#x2F;PMC3973692&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov&#x2F;pmc&#x2F;articles&#x2F;PMC3973692&#x2F;</a><p>* Generally, it&#x27;s either learned from a parent in the home or traumatic emotional abuse.<p>* Narcissists have a very fragile ego and are constantly protecting it, they simultaneously want your approval and despise you for their need for your approval.<p>* Narcissists cannot self reflect as part of a defense mechanism to their ego, they believe they are perfect in every way, and therefore do not need to change their behavior.<p>* They have their own world view and if you show them differently they will simply ignore it and subsequently you.<p>* Narcissists thrive on the attention and adoration of others, this can come from their children, co-workers, friends, family, lovers, really anyone. They thrive on both negative and positive attention. This is called narcissistic supply. Narcs need a constant supply to keep their egos inflated. It&#x27;s like oxygen to them.<p>* They will utilize a variety of tactics to entangle new forms of supply and keep them confused and entrapped. These tactics include:<p>- Love bombing (Constant praise, stroking your ego, constant attention)<p>- Mirroring (You like snowboarding? I like snowboarding! you like video games? I like video games!)<p>- Projection (You&#x27;re going to cheat&#x2F; steal&#x2F; lie, meanwhile they are doing exactly those things to you. They will accuse you of these things first to muddy the waters when you eventually catch on to their behavior)<p>- Word salads (complete nonsense, logical fallacies out of their mouths to confuse you when talking or arguing)<p>- Extreme mischaracterization or exaggeration of what you&#x27;ve said<p>- Moving goalposts (I&#x27;ll start helping with chores when my minor injury heals when I&#x27;m less stressed when it&#x27;s spring etc)<p>- Conditioning (Like pavlovian training: if you&#x27;re in a good mood doing a certain activity they will start an argument to soil your association with that activity)<p>- Gaslighting (I didn&#x27;t say I liked video games, you must have misunderstood me)<p>- Name calling and aggressive criticism (Usually disguised as a joke or with a &quot;Just kidding!&quot;)<p>- Triangulation or Flying Monkeys (using a third party to torment you further)<p>- Discard &#x2F;devaluation (Once you&#x27;ve caught onto them, or they&#x27;ve found a better source of supply you will be ignored or spoken about in condescending terms)<p>* Narcissists cannot truly generate happiness of their own, so they try to leech it from others and hate them for their ability to generate happiness<p>* Extended contact with a narcissist can lead to CPTSD<p>* Narcissists cannot change because they do not want to change since they see nothing wrong with their behavior.<p>In short, all of this advice to read a book, join a club, start a family, etc is useless for a narcissist. Also, narcissists are highly resistant to therapy. They rarely check themselves in and they only time they end up in front of a therapist is for something unrelated to their narcissism.<p>If you meet one run.