Pornography and the Butterfly Effect
The widespread availability of pornography probably <i>does</i> drive home several extra layers of resentment in someone whose personal track record with courting, dating, and sex has been unsatisfying. At a surface level, it seems to demonstrate that sex -- and not just fruits of performances thereof -- is a transaction, and that the attributes that they bring to the marketplace (appearance, aesthetic, attitude, interests, personality, attainment) are unpopular among the potential pool. Amateur pornography exacerbates this, because it appears to suggest that sex, and the mood of sexual adventurousness required to film it, is extremely common, and taking place between average, everyday people. This can further their fears of inferiority.<p>This skirts a taboo that you can barely talk about: that personal preferences in dating are not judged to the same standard, and that movements of empowerment and positivity are clashing with everyone&#x27;s free will in pursuing -- and especially articulating -- what they do and don&#x27;t like. Declining to date someone because they&#x27;re fat is now firmly seen as a bullying tactic, but not dating someone because they&#x27;re short is perfectly fine. The protocols around communicating preferences to others and getting them accepted by one&#x27;s peers is a quagmire where social conventions haven&#x27;t ventured, so everyone lies for self-preservation (&quot;I like you as a friend&quot;, &quot;I don&#x27;t wanna be tied down&quot;), and those left out are left to draw their own conclusions.<p>This is all terribly unfortunate, but not really new; the incel movement, however, feeds not solely on rejection and obsessing over the base biological reasons thereof, but the implicit entitlement they they&#x27;d deserve otherwise.