Ask HN: Are you ok?
I&#x27;m shocked at how many people seem to be doing OK or have minor complaints.<p>For me, I&#x27;ve realized that if I have to do anything for 40+ hours a week on a schedule, after a couple of weeks, I&#x27;d prefer being dead.<p>I could be a professional ice cream taste tester or race car driver, and after about 3 weeks of showing up at a fixed time and putting in 8 hours, I&#x27;d still be ready to off myself again.<p>When I have week-long breaks from work (like holidays mixed with PTO), I regain the will to live and there&#x27;s so much I want to do, and I&#x27;m so sad about how much time I&#x27;ve wasted.  I start projects, I start forming relationships, I feel happiness.  Then I go back to work, and the suicidal tendencies are way stronger than before I left.<p>The best way for me to survive seems to never allow myself time off of work, because I dare not remind myself of what a free life would be like, or I might not be able to endure my current circumstances for another day.<p>I just don&#x27;t understand how people function as workers in society.  I hope I can retire before this kills me.