The toll of dating app burnout
TLDR: stop trying to date and make yourself more interesting that potentials will want to date.<p>It might be worth thinking about this the opposite way.<p>Would you want to go out with someone who is so boring that all they do is sit around watching TV and swiping on dating apps?<p>A lot of comments here (it&#x27;s a numbers game, pay for premium, other &quot;tricks&quot;), is IMHO trying to shortcut&#x2F;hack the system and is unlikely to get anywhere (or extremely hard). You want to rethink what everyone thinks is the &quot;modern&quot; way to date and do what&#x27;s worked for 1000&#x27;s of years.<p>Interesting people with a wide range of interests and passions will not have problems. They will also have a network of like minding people and most likely don&#x27;t use dating apps.  It&#x27;s worth trying to get into those circles.<p>Here&#x27;s some tips:<p>- Stop using apps, you&#x27;re being lazy&#x2F;boring and unattractive to a partner. Put in the work.<p>- Most importantly stop looking to date. People can tell you&#x27;re desperate and it&#x27;s extremely unattractive. Stop asking everyone you see with a pulse out for coffee or drinks. Be friendly and someone who&#x27;s approachable to have an interesting conversation with, without worrying about the risk of being hit upon. I think women really take notice when people do NOT hit on them and just &#x27;nice&#x27;.<p>- Work is off limits. If there are social events be friendly&#x2F;charming, but never hit on. If they have friends they will introduce you as a &#x27;nice guy&#x27;. If you&#x27;re creepy you&#x27;ll never get into their circle.<p>- Make yourself more interesting (as other have suggested). Join sport teams, tech meetups, volunteer to help FOOs. Go to art galleries, small music events etc. Do NOT go here to date. Go to be a a more interesting person. If you see a cute person nearby, say something witty or ask their opinion about a painting your both looking at, a sculpture, the bands latest album etc.. (briefly, then disengage, SUPER important). Do not go full throttle and ask them out for coffee&#x2F;drinks. The idea is to make yourself more comfortable talking to potentials and seem interesting w&#x2F;o being creepy. It&#x27;s a skill you have to develop. You can do this everywhere, at grocery stores, bars, museums. Interaction should not be more than 30 secs (no really). This prevents the creepy aspect. Again, you&#x27;re trying to come across as non creepy and just want their opinion on the best salsa for tacos and move along.<p>- Increase your network of friends in the circles you want. If you friends just smoke weed and play video games that&#x27;s not ideal. If you&#x27;re friends play tennis, go to museums, music... great. If not find how you can get into them.<p>Some base tips (that you should be doing that you might not think is important, but helps with the above). This is obvious stuff, but somehow people have forgotten the the basics.<p>- Shower and wear clean clothes when you go out for an event. Maybe I have a better sense of smell, but the amount of bad smells I get from people is ridiculous.<p>- Shave. Most beards and hair fluff just looks silly and scruffy. If you face doesn&#x27;t look kissable, it just makes everything else harder. If there&#x27;s a group of men, you&#x27;ll stand out with a clean face. Note: this is a great way to talk to people in bars. Go up to a group of the opposite sex.  (becz they will feel comfortable and less intimidating)  and say &quot;My male friends all tell me that women prefer beards. I&#x27;m looking to date again and since I&#x27;m not going to hit on any of you, it would be really valuable to get some honest feedback from some good looking women.&quot; Important &quot;DO NOT HIT ON THEM&quot;, be genuine and charming. After they provide feedback, thank them and walk away. Most likely they won&#x27;t approach you as they are in a group and just want to chat with each other, but if they do, they will be able to find you.<p>- Do NOT wear after-shave. Really it makes people gag and want to run away.<p>- Go to the gym, run, get some dumbbells, long walks, whatever. Everyone could lose 10 pounds and it WILL make you feel more confident.<p>- Don&#x27;t be a scruffy dresser. No need to go overboard, but you can go far with a nice shirt, clean jeans and SHOES (not fancy, but with black socks). Women seems to notice shoes. All this WILL make you stand out in a group in a &quot;care&#x27;s about their appearance but not a fop.<p>- Don&#x27;t have bad breath. Yeah, it&#x27;s ridiculous for it to be said.<p>- Don&#x27;t smoke&#x2F;vape. I know people will have strong opinions, but it REALLY makes your breath smell. I can&#x27;t even be around people of the same sex who do this. YMMV.