Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?
I really appreciate the honest feedback everyone has given on this post. Some of it was hard to hear, but all of it enlightening. And I appreciate the generosity of the community in the time they took to engage in this issue.<p>I do want to address one last thing before giving this post a rest.<p>A lot of people on this post have made conjectures about my reproductive health and ability to have children at the age of 41.<p>Among the other comments I heard, I found these particular comments to be the most  frustrating and hard to stomach.<p>In the last two years, I&#x27;ve gone to two fertility clinics. My blood samples were taken and I was given an ultrasound at one clinic, Kindbody, to determine my chances of having children. In fact, in order to get my eggs frozen, two nurses took my blood samples, examined my hormone levels and gave me an ultrasound every other day for two weeks. These licensed doctors gave me realistic and conservative assessments and recommendations from their evidence-based approach. Evidence-based recommendations and insights into my ability at this age to have a healthy child given many factors.<p>People on this forum have found it fit to weigh in on their own views about my reproductive health - with only my age to go on, citing studies, that I presume they would suggest, presume that they understand my body better than I do.<p>They have also suggested that &quot;getting pregnant is easy.&quot;<p>To assume that every woman&#x27;s body works the same way and on the same timeline for every woman is wrong.<p>There is a good reason that I reached out to licensed, experienced doctors for advice about my fertility at age 41, and not to a group of technologiests on Hacker News. Though people have found it fit to weigh in and rebuked me harshly for not accepting their viewpoints on my body&#x27;s reproductive health.<p>That you chose to contribute about this question (my reproductive health and chances of having a healthy baby) which I did not ask, is your prerogative and I accept that.<p>I know it is too much to expect that someone would presume a well-educated woman would not have gotten the best advice about her fertility from knowledgeable doctors, but it is still disappointing.<p>Every woman&#x27;s body is different. And it&#x27;s my job, with the help of my doctors to understand how my body works. Not yours.<p>Roe V Wade was recently overturned. And many people in this community were very upset about this decision, particularly as it impacts women&#x27;s autonomy over their own bodies.<p>Women&#x27;s autonomy over their bodies starts by everyone, you and me, deciding that a woman knows her body best and it&#x27;s her job to understand how it works, not yours.<p>If you consider yourself a feminist and a supporter of women&#x27;s rights, I strongly encourage you to think twice in the future before you presume to understand a woman&#x27;s body better than she does.<p>Thank you for listening.<p>Over and out:)