Since MeToo, the Number of Men Who Are Uncomfortable Mentoring Women Has Tripled
I&#x27;m a male at a tech company, and since the #METOO incident, I have taken defensive steps to ensure I am not embroiled in any career-ending accusations of sexual harassment.<p>I have:
  - avoided directly talking to female coworkers other than &quot;hello, top of the morning to you&quot;-style greetings, unless I am forced to during meetings. I do not want anything I say to be taken out of context, whether it be a joke, a comment, or a discussion. It may seem cold, but this is my career and livelyhood on the line. To me, having female friends at work is not worth the risk of potentially losing my career.
  - Never be caught alone with a female coworker unless the situation is being recorded, at least via audio. I record on my phone every conversation that is not exchanging pleasantries for my protection. My state is a one-party wiretapping law state, so I am covered legally.
  - If I am forced to be alone with a female coworker during business travel, I bring a handheld recorder with battery life measured in days and record every minute of our time together.
  - I do not offer help to female coworkers unless asked via chat or email.<p>These may seem like extreme measures, but even just the accusation of sexual harassment can cause the end of a career. I love my job too much to sacrifice it for the minor benefit of being friends with females at work.<p>I also find it interesting how I am supposed to be the one to #mentorher, when I am the only one set to lose anything in this exchange. I can lose my time, my job, or even my career in the blink of an eye. For what? So I can earn feel-good points from people who don&#x27;t give a hoot about me and would surely mock me behind my back, were a female I was trying to mentor make a false accusation? Maybe I will have a brigade of people on social media release my private info to the internet, as has happened in some cases.<p>So no, Mrs. Sandberg, I will not #mentorher. I will not take all the risk for the marginal benefit of making female friends at work. It&#x27;s just too dangerous of a position to take. As a non-rich white male, working in the tech industry, I can say I already feel hated for just existing. So honestly, just shove off, don&#x27;t ask me to do any extra work while risking my career, and leave me alone to program in peace.