On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness
I feel a common issue with such &quot;dead bedroom&quot; discussions is the seeming lack of capacity of some parties (including some prominent toplevel comments here) to understand how <i>deep</i> a <i>need</i> for sex many people have.  To think sex can be replaced with &quot;strong friendships&quot; is <i>laughable</i> to anyone who actually feels a strong desire for sex.<p>The dead bedroom situations I&#x27;ve seen with my friends (M-&gt;F equally as well as F-&gt;M) are always the result of one party being incapable of understanding the other&#x27;s desire for sex.  This leads them when pressed to try approaches such as, substituting &quot;being nicer&quot; for sex, trying therapy to reduce their partner&#x27;s sex drive, or just forgetting about the problem because they are unable to sympathize with it.  Ideas such as initiating sex more often or opening up the relationship either don&#x27;t occur to them, are vehemently opposed, or forgotten about.<p>No-one is entitled to sex.  But individuals in a sexually-exclusive relationship are entitled to sympathy, action, and compromise from their partner to bridge severe differences in sexuality, just the same as any other sticking point in a relationship.