ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)
Everything in this article is correct, at least for me.<p>I got fired for performance at my last job about 2.75 years ago. The first two years of working there I had great performance reviews, things went well. It was a high performing YC-backed success story, and I felt just as successful. I was promoted to Lead QA Engineer, and oversaw several projects going at once that I was interested in.<p>About two years in, it started going south when I lost my Adderall prescription. Eventually I got fired. It was devastating, and the best job I ever had.<p>I guess after some change at Kaiser Permanente, my primary care doctor was no longer able to write me Adderall. He sent me to psychiatry, which at Kaiser is less than stellar.<p>Psychiatrist said that unless I can provide proof from elementary school or doctors from my childhood, he’s going to have to reevaluate me; from the looks of what he said I might not get a diagnosis.  Offered me  Wellbutrin. The entire visit was a slap in the face. He thought I was there to get stimulants because I have a drug problem.<p>Indeed! I do have a drug problem in that no longer am being prescribed the drugs that make me function. I never abused drugs.<p>Even after talking to a manager, Kaiser refuses let me switch psychiatrists. This was about 2.5 years ago. It took me two months even get an appointment with that Dr; only to have him tell me get lost.<p>Meanwhile, I’ve been doing the best I can given the situation. ADHD Affects me greatly and I’ve lost so much since then.<p>For one, disorganization resulted in me missing out on exercising my stock options. I thought I had three months, it was 90 days. Missed it by a day!<p>This was problematic because the company was purchased by Autodesk about a year after I got fired. Would’ve been a nice liquidity event. ($600K)<p>I’m still falling incredibly short. I have a lot of trauma around getting fired and feeling like I am insufficient. I have not even applied for a job since leaving. Once unemployment ran out I started ridesharing; i’m doing that off and on for about two years. It barely pays rent but better than being broke and homeless in San Francisco.<p>Today, it’s a struggle to stay relevant. I have pretty much given up on finding a psychiatrist in San Francisco as they all appear booked for months. I have found success in self medication although it’s harder to find therapeutic pharmaceuticals then street drugs; not a viable alternative for me.<p>I’m sort of losing interest in tech. I find enjoyment in many things technical but cannot seem to get myself together. Thinking without finishing my college degree, no relevant work for the last 2 1&#x2F;2 years, and no treatment for my condition; nobody will want to hire me. Even if they did I am not sure I’d be able to be successful.<p>Where am I at now? Still ridesharing, trying to make ends meet. My resume is almost rewritten, I have looked at some jobs but not applied for any yet. My world has gotten a little bit smaller than I would like.<p>Absolutely I need some more structure than what I have.