Ask HN: How are you a good dad to your kids?
By the time my toddler was 18 months I&#x27;d taught and given him a few things:<p>* Emotional regulation. When he&#x27;s upset, hold him and allow him to feel my calm breathing, help him breathe<p>* How to tell other people that he&#x27;d like more of something, that he&#x27;d like something to stop, or that he&#x27;d like something<p>* Good connection time by holding him and dancing, playing outside in the grass<p>* Good connection time by wrestling and tickling. (Plus, I think that kids like this because it helps them learn how to defend themselves)<p>* Good examples. I&#x27;m very good at emotional regulation and very attuned to what I want and need. Same with toward his mom. There are very very few behaviors that I have that I wouldn&#x27;t be ok with him copying. My behaviors serve me well and I feel content, so I know that if he just mirrors me, which he&#x27;s likely to, he&#x27;ll be in a good spot<p>* Healthy food, minimized exposure to plastics and environmental toxins<p>* Guided his behavior in a way that makes him enjoyable to be around, which helps him get good loving connection from various people in his life<p>* As much as possible, I bring him with me and show him the things that I do and how I do them<p>* Taught him things by focusing on quick positive reinforcement of what I do want, rather than negative reinforcement of what I don&#x27;t want. This means he&#x27;s not stressed and trying to avoid bad things, instead he can seek good things<p>* Responding to him rather than reacting to him<p>I believe that when parents are calm and content, then following their intuition will lead to great things. That&#x27;s how I&#x27;ve approached it. I worked really hard for a few years before having kids on becoming more calm, more content, more responding less reacting, creating more emotional safety with my wife and to myself, and getting in touch with my intuition. Then with parenting, I&#x27;ve followed my intuition.