Ask HN: Losing interest in life. What shall I do?
I don&#x27;t think this is an easy subject.. I don&#x27;t know much of you, what your expertise is, your hobbies are...<p>I share some sentiment with you. Right now, the only thing i care about is money. Friday and Saturday evenings are the times i use for social activities ( more or less). I have never missed a friday or saturday.<p>In terms of public opinion i&#x27;m pretty popular ( i know a shitload of people), but haven&#x27;t had a girlfriend in 5 years ( since my 3 year relationship broke). It&#x27;s just hard for me i think, not sure. I feel demotivated to try get a girlfriend, more or less become i probable want &quot;more&quot; then i can get (for now). I have no problems with getting friends with real hot ones, but haven&#x27;t found a good way to get &quot;closer&quot;.. I&#x27;m not very seductive i think :p<p>I wouldn&#x27;t use Tinder though. I meet a lot of people by social interaction ( i meet with 5-6 friend groups and i get new friends pretty fast).<p>I&#x27;m INTJ though, i learned that some drinking in social interaction made me &quot;more&quot; confident. I&#x27;m an expert at getting friendzoned though :p<p>Meeting new people, my workflow seems to be the following:<p>- Fast multiple people meeting, sport activities. Eg. Group cycling, fitness, ... Don&#x27;t be afraid to ask for advice if you need some. In fitness, don&#x27;t try to be to social. Show up very regularely at the same hours the same days. Learn to identify the core group. When they see you a couple of times, after a month you&#x27;ll probably talk to them more regularely. Then take the &quot;relation&quot; out of the gym. Same with group cycling, take the relation after the sport, but wait untill some time. Sometimes there are also group &quot;meetups&quot;.<p>- Drink something for easier talking &#x2F; being social ( it works for me), don&#x27;t overdue it at first. Don&#x27;t be afraid to participate in the brain killer sessions ( when it&#x27;s getting heavy), be responsible though.<p>- Think extreme and say it out loud ( Extreme example, Donald Trump ), this is only for me. I&#x27;m not a gossip guy. I tend to be very objective, but for being social, identifying something and thinking of it an extreme way is an easy way to make people laugh and come over as an &quot;alpha male&quot;<p>- Be honest always ( if it&#x27;s a difficult subject, i try to &quot;hide&quot; something i don&#x27;t want to say, i go over to another part of the story so they wouldn&#x27;t notice it. ). I just do it because it gets me the jail-out-of-free card on hard social things ( eg. guy brakes up with girlfriend, i still had contact with her. Went flatout and said it, after the &quot;key&quot; person of the group knew that it was an uneasy situation for me --&gt; eg. see below)<p>- I do tech, they don&#x27;t understand it. But i genuinely talk about it with passion and try to make it simple. Referencing some successfull projects and webshop does help to meet &quot;social status expectations&quot;<p>- Invite mutual friends at your home and make them feel at ease. Eg. Some regulars from the gym, invite them for a drink and a snack.<p>- Follow up on the ones that you feel good with on WhatsApp or SMS ( don&#x27;t do facebook, it&#x27;s too &quot;busy&quot;). Being friends with every one is hard work, target the ones that you can trust and care about. Don&#x27;t do it too much, as it can be very busy. Do some things with them in person to build a steady friend relationship.<p>- I always answer too fast. Answer fast sometimes, but not always ( makes you look desperate), but i just think it&#x27;s not polite to not answer fast and i&#x27;m always online for my webshop.<p>- When groups starts to invite you for activities. Join them and voila. Meet a lot of new people.<p>- I never say &quot;no&quot; on a friday evening or saturday evening for social activites.<p>Eg.
I&#x27;ve recently met with someone who is really big ( in height), i think 2 meters in total (i&#x27;m 1m 78 cm). I just walked up to her and said: &quot;Do you know what my ultimate dream is? Your legs arround my miliscule small body&quot; ( it&#x27;s not miniscule, but she laughed a lot.), we had an entire evening of fun talks. Last week went to restaurant together. Can&#x27;t seem to convert in more though :p<p>Yesterday, a girlfriend bought me lunch @ a restaurant :)<p>On relationship &quot;side&quot;, i have no answers. I have some problems with it too, but not thinking about it. ( when i&#x27;m richer it will be easier i think, not sure if it&#x27;s true). Currently have not to many interests in fullfilling my &quot;occupied relationship status&quot;, but i do try it though, perhaps not enough.