Ask HN: How should I find a wife?
&gt;&gt;&gt;I&#x27;m an American man in my late 20s&#x2F;early 30s in a large city<p>1. What is your long-term objective for marriage? If the answer does NOT include &quot;successfully raise well-adjusted children in a 2-parent household&quot;, then don&#x27;t even waste your time with a marriage. It&#x27;s an unnecessary legal entanglement if you just want to bang someone and hang out with them for a few decades.<p>2. Before digging deeper into your wife search, maximize your own attractiveness. This requires a serious period of introspection and self-improvement to correct deficiencies both in character and in physical appearance. There&#x27;s plenty of solid &quot;manosphere&quot; content on the subject. Try to avoid most of the PUA psychology stuff, except for: tips on overcoming &quot;approach anxiety&quot;, &quot;maintaining frame&quot;, &quot;abundance mentality&quot;, and avoiding &quot;pedestalization&quot;.<p>3. If you are decently attractive, decently charismatic, and in an above-average economic bracket (let&#x27;s just say debt-free and ~$75k+ annual income), understand that in the GLOBAL dating pool, you are holding the cards. YOU are the commodity. You are the one screening an abundance of applicants for the job position of &quot;spouse&quot;, looking to disqualify the bulk of them. So get the fuck out of the United States and date internationally. Especially outside of &quot;the West&quot;. It&#x27;s really not THAT hard to find a woman who is moderately cute, not annoying, with sufficient domestic skills to maintain a household, and a consistently-loving demeanor to take the lead on childrearing. Which leads to my next point:<p>4. What kind of women are you physically attracted to? The US is a nation of immigrants. It&#x27;s best to &quot;go to the source&quot; to get the pure uncut product, so-to-speak. If you like blondes, move to Scandinavia to wife-hunt. You like Latin women? Move to Colombia or Chile. &quot;Lightskin&quot; Asians? I would say Japan, but this place is essentially locked down due to COVID...&quot;Darkskin&quot; Asians? Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam. Black women? Don&#x27;t date an African-American woman (binge watch some Kevin Samuels videos on YT to see why), go get a proper African from Kenya or Tanzania. Etc, etc....<p>5. Once you are in your target market, leverage benign social circle activities. English-language meetups, coffee shops, local guy friends (don&#x27;t have some? make some), religious institutions if you are into that. Do NOT wife-hunt on Tinder&#x2F;Bumble unless you are extremely adept at sniffing out women trying to take advantage of you. Swipe dating is fine if you just need to get some exercise in the bedroom but I generally discourage treating any of those connections as serious long-term prospects.<p>6. I suppose some of this is dependent on YOUR character and what you like, but I&#x27;d screen women based on their family background (are her parents still happily married? ), psychological issues, alcohol&#x2F;drug abuse, previous relationships (if any), etc... basically disqualify anyone who looks like they might be damaged goods, excessively emotional, unpredictable, etc... When things get serious, definitely get to know her parents if possible.<p>7. Never repatriate your new spouse back to the United States. Removing them from the family and culture that turned them into such a quality wife undermines all of your efforts. The culture AND the legal framework in the US are toxic and destructive. Keep in mind that ~50% of marriages end in divorce, ~70% of those divorces are initiated by the female, and divorce court will absolutely demolish you with alimony and&#x2F;or child support payments. NEVER give the US legal system, combined with a woman&#x27;s whims, the opportunity to fuck your life up.<p>Good luck&#x2F;happy hunting! Enjoy the process!<p><i>dons flamesuit</i> (IME no-BS dating advice for men on HN is rarely well-received)