Cruel optimism and lazy pessimism
I&#x27;m all for fixing systemic problems, taming the dragons, etc.<p>Collectively, that&#x27;s great. I&#x27;d argue that western civilization has never been kindler, gentler, inclusive and diverse than it is at this moment in history. So we&#x27;ve made great strides.<p>However all of this does very little for the average individual unhappy in their unique situational challenges.<p>If you&#x27;re unhappy with the hand you&#x27;re dealt, and keep shifting the blame to society, you will probably remain unhappy for a long time.<p>If, on the other hand, you decide to change things in or about <i>yourself</i>, you will find that you have significantly more agency over the situation.<p>A wise person once told me that whenever you have stress in your life it&#x27;s because your expectations don&#x27;t match reality.<p>I learned that sometimes what had to change was I had to &quot;learn to accept reality&quot;, as reality was something that couldn&#x27;t be changed. As Bruce Lee said, the reed that bends in a storm survives it and grows, while bamboo, being rigid, will snap and break.<p>There&#x27;s no panacea to the problem of being happy and content in our short lives. But there are things you can do to improve your odds of enjoying it more while you&#x27;re here.<p>In the meantime, we should continue to fix systemic problems, injustices, etc.