Antidepressant withdrawal: reviewing the paper behind the headlines
I was diagnosed with Major Depression when I was 14 (but I self-diagnosed at age 9 and probably first showed signs at age 6) and over the last ~20 years have had the distinct displeasure of trying dozens of different types of antidepressants over the years, with varrying levels of withdrawal.<p>I can&#x27;t remember the name of the first anti-depressant I ever took -- but I do remember the migraine headache so bad it woke me from sleep and the inability to open my eyes -- and when I was able to open my eyes, the inability to see anything but black splotches because the pain was so intense.<p>And I remember the first real withdrawal I had, when coming off of Paxil. I was 14 and I was hot and cold at the same time, nauseated, and utterly unwell.<p>Most of the time, my withdrawals were staged and designed to taper off -- but that didn&#x27;t make them all go away. Some drugs didn&#x27;t have any withdrawal symptoms at all -- though in my teenage years as I searched for a workable medication, that was more often than not NOT that case.<p>There were drugs that had short half-lives (Effexor being one), where I would start to feel the symptoms of withdrawal if I took a pill even an hour or two later than expected. There were others that would sink in only after a day or two, but be truly terrible.<p>As a teenager and then college student, withdrawals were terrible -- but in some ways, survivable. I missed six and a half weeks of school my sophomore year of high school because of acute depresssion (which was most certainly not helped by the various withdrawals and side-effects of the drugs my various psychiatrists were trying on me) and had to take time off in college too. But at least I had that luxury.<p>Four years ago, I got into a depression, and stupidly stopped talking to my shrink, and let my medication prescriptions lapse. I had to go through cold-turkey Effexor withdrawal, and aside from being 21 and coming off of a tricylic, it was the worst experience of my life. But this time, I didn&#x27;t have the luxury of taking time off of school. I had to go into work each day.<p>Last year, when I reconnected with my shrink and got back on meds, he was legitimately shocked I got through the withdrawal. In retrospect, I am too. I had a boss who was not understanding (I was told &quot;everyone has problems&quot;) and clinicians have compared the type of withdrawal I was going through with opiates or cocaine detox.<p>I went back on the Effexor last year but earlier this year, decided to switch to something else. It took MONTHS to actually come off of it -- even at its lowest dose. I honestly cannot believe I did it cold-turkey last time.<p>The worst part? As terrible as the withdrawal is and can be -- for me, it&#x27;s still better than the alternative -- which is not be on a medication that works and to suffer a debilitating depression, which is honestly, even worse.