Aphantasia
The first time I heard&#x2F;read about this was back in 2016 or so when I stumbled across a post on Facebook from Blake Ross [0]. Since then I have read more about aphantasia and in the process I have learned more about myself and in turn others as well. It has been an enlightening and helpful experience so far.<p>When it comes to visualization or a mind&#x27;s eye I don&#x27;t (and as far back as I can remember) have any form of that ability. When my eyes are open I see what is in my field of view, but I am unable to create new visual input, nor can I edit what I can see in any way. When my eyes are closed there isn&#x27;t any colors, images, flashes of images, shapes, smoke, text, numbers or anything. It is just a darkened void.<p>Unlike some I am not face-blind. I recognize people I know when I see them, either in person or in physical&#x2F;digital pictures. If I had to describe someone I know well and see every day, but they are not in front of me at the time, I couldn&#x27;t do it adequately. Estimated height, weight, and size compared to me, doable. Same for hair color and whether or not they wear glasses. Anything else I couldn&#x27;t say. I simply do not possess that information. If tried to describe someone I know well that I haven&#x27;t seen in six months the best I could do would be their height and size compared to me.<p>At a certain point if I don&#x27;t see them again it is like they just disappeared. The same applies to memorable conversations we had, places we went, and things we did. Over time it all just fades away. It really depends upon how strong of a connection there was. Even after 24 years I remember my high school sweetheart&#x27;s name, how many years we were together, and where we went for both vacations we had. To this day I can recite her parent&#x27;s telephone number and address from memory. I&#x27;m over 500 miles from there right now and I could hop in my vehicle and drive straight there without directions. I don&#x27;t even need to remember their address to know how to get to their road and exact house from here and I haven&#x27;t been there since 2003. Absolutely any other information about her and her family? That&#x27;s all gone.<p>Like my lack of a mind&#x27;s eye I seem to also have a lack of a mind&#x27;s ear. Unlike what some others have posted I am unable to imagine music nor can I compose it in my head (or in person) either. If I want to listen to music I have to queue up YouTube or my local music player. I do one or the other daily as the music provides some respite from tinnitus.<p>As an aside: I played trumpet, trombone, and tuba throughout high school even though I can not read sheet music. I for some reason didn&#x27;t or couldn&#x27;t learn sheet music so my music teacher translated the notes into numbers for me. Those I understood. For the trumpet it would go something like: 13, 1, 12, 123, etc. Tuba was similar and trombone was based on distance the slider was from full back.<p>As to whether or not I have an inner voice. That too is a negative ghost-rider. If I&#x27;m thinking or reading I do not hear any voice, mine or otherwise. If I am making a grocery list something does happen because I remember it, but when I am thinking it I don&#x27;t hear the words I think nor do I visualize them in my mind&#x27;s eye. They are stored as data to be retrieved when I next go to the grocer.<p>Dreams are also absent from my life. When I wake up it is as if I had just laid down. I have no memory of anything happening between those two events.<p>Since learning of aphantasia I have made some changes in my life. Now when I go places I want to be able to experience again after I&#x27;ve left I take lots of pictures and video. I try and do the same with my friends. Pictures, videos, and audio so that if they pass before me I&#x27;ll still be able to see and&#x2F;or hear them again. Hopefully from now on I&#x27;ll be able to say more than &quot;I spent a month in Key West, Florida in 1997&quot; or &quot;I went to Mountain View, Arkansas for two weeks in 2005&quot;.<p>Overall I do not find aphantasia a negative. Up until I learned about it, it wasn&#x27;t a thing so my experiences were just like everyone else. Now that I know about it and have learned more about myself I have made some small changes to my life to compensate. My current approach is to experience life as it happens and let the pictures, videos, and audio do the long-term backups.<p>[0] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.facebook.com&#x2F;notes&#x2F;blake-ross&#x2F;aphantasia-how-it-feels-to-be-blind-in-your-mind&#x2F;10156834777480504&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.facebook.com&#x2F;notes&#x2F;blake-ross&#x2F;aphantasia-how-it-...</a>