Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
Wow! This thought thread is a what&#x27;s what on the list of horrifying and inauthentic bullshit.<p>When did we lose the ability to have authentic relationships?<p>If someone needs your help and you have the capacity to help and they haven&#x27;t burned you in the past, why not actually be human and help them? Perhaps one day you&#x27;ll need help and they&#x27;ll return the favour. If they don&#x27;t without good reason, then next time say &quot;hey, you know what, I was there when you needed help last time and when I needed help you were nowhere to be found, you flaked out on me because you didn&#x27;t take my needs seriously.&quot; or whatever.<p>If you&#x27;re hanging out with flaky people who give you bullshit excuses for not helping you out when you genuinely need help and you&#x27;re not helping out when they genuinely need help then you don&#x27;t have friendship, you have acquaintances.<p><i>Being a friend is being there when your friends need you and your friends being there when you need them</i>. If one side of that relationship isn&#x27;t being honoured, it&#x27;s not friendship. One or the other of you is taking advantage of boundaries that aren&#x27;t being enforced or respected.<p>Kudos to everyone for wanting more time for themselves to find value in what they do but when you get to the pinnacle of whatever it is you&#x27;re doing and you realize you&#x27;ve cast aside your friends and relationships for whatever shiny thing it is that currently has your attention, I hope the shiny thing is more valuable to you than your friendships, because you&#x27;ll have none.<p>Addendum: I don&#x27;t want to devalue those that are selfless and just trying to scramble back a bit of time for their own selves, I get it, I&#x27;m an introvert, I need time for myself to do my own things too, but don&#x27;t lose sight of the fact that human connection is where happiness and love lays. If the giving of yourself to make those you love happy <i>isn&#x27;t making you happy</i>, then you should probably closely examine the quality of those relationships and either fix them or end them so you are.