Identical twins aren't that identical
We have identical boys, James and Charlie, about to turn 5. Got a DNA test for a holiday present that confirmed it. They&#x27;re very healthy and happy kids, and are each other&#x27;s best friend.<p>When they were about 3, James asked to wear a dress. Now James wears a dress every day, and is -- for lack of a better word -- extremely flamboyant. At first Charlie wanted to wear a dress too, but that seems to have just been FOMO because now he never wears them. Charlie is maybe more cerebral and cautious than your average boy, but still very clearly feels like a boy.<p>This has all been really interesting and mystifying to us. My wife and I and most of the people we interact with are pretty ordinary cisgendered, heterosexual people. We&#x27;ve never consciously pushed the boys toward any particular social norm. And we both figured one&#x27;s sexuality and gender identity was hardcoded in one&#x27;s DNA. Now we have living proof that doesn&#x27;t seem to be the case. Our best uneducated guess is that something in utero caused the boys to develop with different levels of hormones, and that caused their &quot;wiring&quot; to diverge.