Explaining Sex Rate Changes
Reading through the comments, there&#x27;s a shared narrative that emerges:<p>Tinder, etc. leads to a skewed distribution of access to sexual partners based on attractiveness, which leads to unattractive men not having as many partners, which leads to pick-your-favorite-bad-consequence.<p>And there are a lot of men in this thread feeling worried and depressed about this. While it&#x27;s certainly true that you get more matches on Tinder if you&#x27;re attractive, this overall narrative is vastly oversimplified, and the conclusions drawn from it are inaccurate. It&#x27;s the result of men projecting male attitudes onto women&#x27;s behavior. I understand that it&#x27;s easy to feel resentful. I don&#x27;t fault anyone inherently for this-- these are complex issues, there are exceptions to every generalization, and it&#x27;s difficult to judge because it&#x27;s hard to experience the dating &quot;market&quot; through different eyes.<p>But before you buy into that narrative, take a moment to think about what it&#x27;s like for women. I&#x27;ll indulge in some generalizations (yes there are exceptions) because brevity is of the essence. Compared to men:<p>- Women care less about physical attractiveness
- Women are less interested in hookups and enjoy them less
- Women are more interested in romantic and emotional connections and long-term relationships<p>Do you really think the majority of women are happy with the recent societal changes in dating? It&#x27;s not hard to find thinkpieces written by women lamenting these issues. I haven&#x27;t met a single woman who was happy with it. And I&#x27;ve heard many bad date stories from my female friends and my own dates. One article described it as &quot;searching for a diamond in a sea of dick pics&quot;. And you have to worry about physical violence or men who treat you like an object and try to run some PUA algorithm on you. Maybe you believe that some women are doing things you don&#x27;t condone. But can you honestly blame them? No one&#x27;s perfect, dating is a shitty and exhausting experience for everyone.<p>As a man it&#x27;s easy to fixate on physical attractiveness because we notice and care about it more. But I assure you, once you meet your date in person your looks stop mattering (as long as you didn&#x27;t lie) and at that point it&#x27;s up to your personality. There are a lot of women who&#x27;d be excited to date a decent and kind man who&#x27;s willing to explore some level of emotional commitment without trying to &quot;keep it casual&quot;. Explaining these changes purely on the basis of an attractiveness&#x2F;status market is a cop-out for men who are too insecure to confront whether they&#x27;re actually enjoyable people to be around.<p>I see a lot of proto-incel thoughts in this thread. That shit is a downward spiral, you need to pull yourself together and get out of it before you internalize how physically &quot;unattractive&quot; you supposedly are. Once the incel ideology destroys your self-confidence and skews your outlook on the world you will actually become an unattractive <i>person</i> even if you look fine physically.