Beware of Being “Right”
Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply (especially @pdfernhout). There is a lot of food for thought here. You are right that it is many life experiences which has shaped my wife into the person she is now, and I am partly to blame.<p>We had a long chat about this today because I was losing my mind and I couldn&#x27;t just take it any more. It got a bit heated sometimes but we are determined to resolve this. I&#x27;m having to face up to my own role in making her the person she is so that is hard.<p>But what we both realise is that we are both good people, but perhaps misguided. As life progresses, there seem to be more and more things which I regret and it is a constant battle to stay positive and look forward to the next day.<p>I was very ambitious when I was young. My wife allowed her career to take a backseat so she could look after the kids. I think I was so immersed in my career and trying to provide for my family that I neglected to see the stress she was under raising two kids largely by herself. I mistakenly thought that if I worked hard to provide financial security for my family it would matter a lot. I now realise that was not enough. My career has been okay-ish so far but not exactly the kind of resounding success I had dreamt of. I&#x27;m beginning to think that ambition is a curse as it is all consuming. And I also feel bad that I don&#x27;t have a lot to show for all the time I spent working.<p>My parents weren&#x27;t exactly great role models for a happy marriage. I somehow, very naively, assumed that a marriage would work if both partners had the best of intentions. Today has been exhausting but I still have hope that we will work this out.<p>I do believe the whole family will be better of &quot;with&quot; and I just need to find a way to make it work.