Cruel optimism and lazy pessimism
&gt; Ugly and alone? Just be yourself! Never mind that we’ve designed for you a society where personal connections are harder and harder to make and maintain, and we’ve commodified human relationships into the equivalent of online supermarket catalogs.<p>Having done online dating for years, this rings so true. Some people online talk about the success stories but rarely do they acknowledge the absolute slog that can happen for a huge portion of people and that there is no guarantee even with persistence and a good attitude that you&#x27;ll ever find someone who neither ghosts or treats you like garbage, and has a true connection with you.<p>I recall a Louis CK joke:<p>&gt; &#x27;There’s someone for everyone.&#x27; Nope. Not at all true, and stop saying it cause it’s mean to people who never find anybody. There are millions of people out there who we’ve all unanimously decided that they are lightspeed ugly and nobody kisses them on the lips even. Nobody touches their genitals their entire life. They just wash &#x27;em, and then they die. That’s all that happens. &#x27;Aww,&#x27; and if you’re feeling bad for them, you can go find one and fuck one tomorrow, you can just solve the problem right there with all that kindness in your heart. &#x27;Aww.&#x27; Well, go fuck one. &#x27;Nah.&#x27; I didn’t think so.&quot;<p>Out of all my friends, only one tried setting me up with someone on a blind date. Goodness, I can&#x27;t even describe to you the kind of disgust I felt from her face when I walked through the restaurant door for our first and only date. Even though I knew from the first minute that the date was doomed, I did my best to make non-awkward.<p>Such is life, we can&#x27;t choose what we inherit.