Sat, 31 December 2011
Episode #5: Arena (2011)
Every couple of years, a movie is made wherein the power of the Internet is harvested for nefarious means and gladiatorial combat. 2011's entry is Arena, a straight-to-DVD effort that pairs Twilight beefcake Kellan Lutz with Formula 51's Samuel L. Jackson. It is a movie that promises very little and delivers exactly that, while also wasting the talents of supporting players James Remar and Dan's main squeeze, Degrassi alumni Nina Dobrev. To my knowledge, though, it is the only movie in which Jackson makes out with a pair of nubile Asian twins.
This week's song is Black Country by psychedelic-lunatic-pop-tribal-stoner-punk-fusion-surf-wave duo Tonstartssbandht off their 2009 opus An When. Thanks to the guys and Arbutus Records for letting us use the song!
Direct download: Why_Does_It_Exist_-_005_-_Arena.mp3
Episode #4: A Smoky Mountain Christmas
Amidst all this talk of banning the word Christmas, last-minute shopping frenzies and desperately trying to find your 'fat pants', we at Why Does It Exist? are proud to bring you a moment of respite. Allow yourselves to be lulled to the sweet sound of our Christmas special, an in-depth discussion of the Dolly Parton vehicle A Smoky Mountain Christmas. Co-starring Lee Majors as the world's cleanest hermit and directed by none other than The Fonz, it's the heartwarming tale of how Dolly Parton is so awesome at everything that her life ends up sucking because of it.
Hear as we marvel at the levels of trickery that make it possible for Dolly Parton to play a guitar with her talon-like fingernails! Weep uncontrollably as we outline the troubling life stories of the amorphous blob of orphans she may or may not end up adopting! Hoot in ecstasy at the appearance of deus ex Ritter! Squeal with delight at the surprise cameo appearance by platinum-selling pop architects The Jingle Cats! Explode with rage as Alex fails to identify
Music for this episode provided by Chix 'N Dix. You can find them online here or here or see them play a show almost every week, it seems. There's a reason why I'm about to refer to them as the hardest-working punk rock band in Montreal.
Direct download: Why_Does_It_Exist_-_004_-_A_Smoky_Mountain_Christmas.mp3
Episode #3: Loose Cannons (1990)
Buddy cop movies are the comfort food of the movie world: they're always the same and that's what we want from them. We want to see the same dumb jokes, shit blowing up and formerly-good actor hamming it up as the villain. Loose Cannons is the food poisoning of the movie world: it looks like it'll be a good time but it actually ends up being several hours of runny poop. Gene Hackman looks bored, Dan Aykroyd tries way too hard and Dom DeLuise waddles in the worst movie we've dealt with thus far in the audio realm.
Music for this episode is provided by The Firework Express. While you're at it, check out their video for the song Where Are We Now?, directed by Louis Lazaris.
Direct download: Why_Does_It_Exist_-_003_-_Loose_Cannons.mp3
Thu, 8 December 2011
Episode #2: Passion Play (2011)
Passion Play had been on my Why Does It Exist? radar for a while, but was disqualified for a myriad of reasons that include a) a theatrical release; b) a certain level of notoriety after Mickey Rourke went and ran his mouth about it before it came out; c) an entry in Nathan Rabin's My Year of Flops column, which as you diehard fans know automatically disqualifies a film from being covered on the blog.
That rule, however, does not apply to the podcast, so Dan and I sat down and took in an hour and a half of soulful staring by Rourke and Hollywood sexpot extraordinaire Megan Fox under the bemused eyes of the Prince of Bemusement, Bill Murray. As you'll see, your esteemed hosts had somewhat different reactions to the material.
Music for this episode is provided by The Hot Showers, a rock trio notable for being the first band in Why Does It Exist history not to feature Dan Weir. You can find their official website here and download their album for whatever price you want here.
Direct download: Why_Does_It_Exist_-_002_-_Passion_Play.mp3
Tue, 29 November 2011
Episode #1: The Bleeding (2009)
In the very first episode of the Why Does It Exist podcast, Dan and Alex decide to tread well-trod ground with The Bleeding, a vampire action movie starring WDIE stalwarts Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, Armand Assante and, making her inauspicious and unmemorable debut, LA Ink star Kat von D. Witness the tinny sound and general I-don't-know-what, flopsweat-covered excitement of a pilot episode!
Music for this episode provided by Tyger Tyger.
Direct download: Why_Does_It_Exist_-_001_-_The_Bleeding.mp3