Sep 13, 2017, 02:39pm EDT |
Students Should Take The Reins During The College Process
Willard DixFormer Contributor
I cover the college admission process and how it affects families.
Start your college career as an independent person by taking the reins well before you've even applied.
"He's a real self-starter, very smart and very good at discussion. He really takes the initiative," said the mom as her son stood silently, helplessly by. Every time I tried to ask him a question, his mom answered. He couldn't get a word in edgewise.
"I'm calling to make an interview appointment for my daughter. You'll like her. She's a dynamic, independent person," the dad said. "I'd also like to schedule her for the tour and information session."
"I'd like to make an appointment to visit your campus," said the mysteriously deep voice. "I'm a junior at Caramello High School and I'm planning to be there next week." "What information session would you like to attend?" I asked. "Oh, uh, he'd...I mean I'd..." Click.
While I appreciate that students have less time than ever these days, it's still incumbent on them to take as much responsibility for their college plans as possible during the application process. Parents can certainly help with organizing and keeping track of deadlines, but for the process to mean anything more than a slog through applications and tours, students themselves need to be the main actors at each stage.
When I worked with first-generation college students, I found they were often (and understandably) intimidated by the idea of approaching colleges' admission offices themselves. They saw them (again, understandably) as fortresses surrounded by moats and guards designed to keep people out. I once surprised a student from a Hispanic neighborhood here in Chicago by telling him he could visit a prominent local university any time he wanted. He just had to take the "L" to Evanston, drop by the admission office and walk around campus. My advice gave him the confidence to do that (with a few friends) and he returned from his visit with a whole new sense of how he could gain access to a college education.
Even when more privileged students came to my office asking me to contact colleges for them about a question they had, I usually said I'd call for them but they should speak for themselves. They were often taken aback, and we'd even rehearse what they should say. I'd make the call, get the appropriate person on the phone and hand the phone to the student. Once the conversation got started, I could see the relief on my student's face and even in more relaxed body language: College admission people are human! They want to help me! I can ask for what I need myself! That moment often marked a small but significant turning point in that student's self-awareness.
Making one's own arrangements for visiting campus or scheduling an interview isn't just an administrative duty, it shows that you're in charge of your own process and, by inference, your own life and work. It's a small but important step in demonstrating what'll you'll want to show in your application itself: The ability to advocate for yourself, find help when you need it and face uncertainty confidently. And after you've done it once, each new time will be easier.
The college admission process frays nerves enough as it is, but taking on this task can actually make a student feel stronger and more positive about the whole thing. College admission people are some of the most sociable people you can imagine (our annual conferences attest to that, believe me) and they're eager to be helpful. When students contact them on their own, it's very impressive. And at schools that keep track of "contacts" with students, making your own plans is a big plus.
Even at the end of the process, I was always moved by students who would call and respectfully ask why they'd been rejected or waitlisted. Often, there was no really good answer at hand; I usually had to say, "Well, the competition this year was really tough. You're a good student and you have plenty of excellent qualities, but we just didn't have room for you this year." If a student were bold enough to call and ask good questions even if the answers were frustrating, we might even end up having a conversation about where he or she was admitted and how best to start college. (Contrast that with the occasional parent who would call and yell or curse me/my institution for "ruining my son's life," as one did.)
So parents, encourage your offspring to pick up the phone or tap the keyboard themselves as you make plans to visit a campus or arrange an interview. It also works wonders when students contact a department they're interested in. One of my students with a deep interest in math took my advice, called the math department of one of his colleges. Not only did he get an invitation to drop by when he visited campus, he was connected to a professor who offered to meet with him. My student not only had a terrific discussion, the professor shared some of his work, giving the student a proof to work on that he himself had been struggling with. My student returned energized; he applied, was accepted and attended.
The upshot for students? Start your college career as an independent person by taking the reins well before you've even applied. You'll be happier and more confident as a result.
Willard Dix
I was an admission officer at Amherst College for eight years and college counselor at a Chicago private school for six. For the last 12 years, I've helped underserved…
I was an admission officer at Amherst College for eight years and college counselor at a Chicago private school for six. For the last 12 years, I've helped underserved students navigate the college process. I've also taught high school English and theater. Since 1990 I've written, presented, and conducted workshops around the country about the college admission process for students, parents, and professionals, including a chapter on writing the college application essay for a counselor training textbook. I occasionally take on private clients by referral only. I live in Chicago IL.