How To: Get A New Apartment
I have been rather ridiculously a-spaz all week trying and failing to find someplace to live where I could financially maintain shelter+food+internet access (my boyfriend suggested that I cancel it, and my sister and I stared at him for ten minutes trying to figure out what he even meant, as though he'd just said, maybe you should cancel running water, since you have indoor plumbing at your office). People at work thought I was having a seizure at my desk when the lack of craigslist apartment offerings made me start to twitch.
I'd been putting off calling my parents because I wasn't looking forward to the "Are you actually STUPID!?" conversation about me moving in with my boyfriend's cat (the fear of death has been rather overwhelming my fear of commitment), though that was the only option I could afford.
After the "Are you actually STUPID!?" conversation, Dad asked, "In your ideal world, what do you want?"
I was all WOE! COMMUTE! STARVATION! ASTHMA! DEAAATH! but finally came out with: "The 1-bedroom in our building that was advertised forever ago would still be available and I could afford it with money left for food. Then I could live close to my boyfriend, have the chance to live alone once in my life, and take the train to work."
My parents said they'd get to work on arranging that metaphysically for me.
Yeah, so, 10 minutes later the landlord who has been ignoring my calls and emails all week called me, gave me the lockbox code to go see it, gave me a discount without me asking, and said "Yeah, whatever, no biggie..." so I have no new security deposit or moving costs and don't have to pay out the full 30 days notice in my current place. I will still be broke on a month-to-month basis, but there's no outlay of cash to move in!
My sister had the same thing happen with her endless job search in Seattle -- once she had a parental phone call and said "I just want to go into my next interview, feel totally comfortable, and have them offer me a job right there," that's exactly what happened. Our parents never sound surprised when we call them back and give them the good news, either.
Now, I'm not trying to be all Gwyneth "The trick to being thin is eating as much of whatever you want! It's all a jedi mind trick!" Paltrow. Some prerequisites are required:
1) Do all the research, prep work and leg work to exhaust all your non-metaphysical options.
2) Despair.
3) Be absolutely clear with your wish to the universe.
4) Come from a long line of Bohemian witches.