Share this Story: Mindful Leadership: What's in a name?
Mindful Leadership: What's in a name?
Priya Ramji • Business London
Dec 29, 2020 • January 6, 2021 • 5 minute read
A little while back, I was watching the eleven o'clock news on CBC. Normally, I catch the headlines via Twitter, so it's been a while since I actually sat down and watched them on TV. The anchor that evening was Natasha Fatah, esteemed Canadian journalist and reporter.
She made her anchor intro and I immediately noticed something I couldn't remember seeing on live television recently, and I exclaimed it out loud: "Wow, she pronounced her name correctly!"
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But wait ― why would anybody ever mispronounce their own name on national television in the first place? How would one even mispronounce Natasha? That's a fairly common name, right? Well, the name 'Natasha' is actually a common name in some South Asian cultures (Natasha Fatah is originally from Pakistan). In her case, the 'T' sound is pronounced slightly differently, with a bit more tongue right behind the front teeth; the sound is native to South Asian languages like Hindi and Urdu. This sound does not exist in the English language so the majority of North Americans can't say it, and it gets anglicized into a regular English-sounding 'T' when they do need to pronounce it. (The same principle also applies to the letter 'D'.)
When Natasha made her anchor intro that night, she pronounced her name according to her Pakistani roots, as it should be pronounced. Yet somehow, I found myself celebrating her boldness to do this because it was an incredible moment of confidence and identity that was displayed on national television.
I can only speak as someone with a South Asian (Indian) background, but many of us have become accustomed to anglicizing South Asian words with Ts and Ds because they're easier for our North American friends to pronounce; some of us have anglicized our names for the same reason.
Here comes one of the most important lessons we can learn about names. It's a lesson in emotional intelligence. It's a lesson in diversity & inclusion practices. It's a lesson in identity. It's a lesson in respect.
There is a level of identity embedded into a name despite the fact that our own name is the one thing in life we don't get any say in. So, if you are going to get one thing right every day, let it be in how you spell and pronounce others' names to the best of your ability. Here are five ways you can do that:
If you are unsure of how to pronounce someone's name, ask them.
If you're even slightly unsure, checking and getting it right will go much further than making an assumption and getting it wrong. If you're worried about offending them, don't be. They will be more offended if you get it wrong and didn't care to make the effort in the first place.
In the case where a certain sound doesn't exist in the English language, make as much of an effort as possible to say the name how it should be pronounced. Making this effort shows a level of respect for that person and their culture, and they will likely appreciate the effort instead of you automatically assuming they prefer the anglicized version. (And if at that point they ask you to call them by the anglicized version, then that is okay.)
When replying to emails, make sure you spell the recipient's name correctly.
Sounds basic, right? Maybe, but how many spelling variations exist for common names? Is it Sarah or Sara? Is it Sean, Shawn or Shaun? Or how about Allison, Alison, or Alyson? Misspelling someone's name in an email is the easiest but most disrespectful mistake you can make because it's already right in front of you. It's usually in their email address, and if it's not, check their signature. Not getting this right when it's been handed to you also shows an incredible lack of attention to detail.
The other common scenario is when the email displays the sender as 'Last Name, First Name.' Unless you're really paying attention to this, it's so easy to accidentally address someone by their last name as if it were their first, especially if their last name can commonly be used as a first name (i.e. Taylor).
What should you do if you realize after the fact that you got it wrong? Send a follow up email and apologize for the error, whether it was a spelling error or addressing them incorrectly. Yes, this draws more attention to your mistake, but it also shows that you can take responsibility and own up to it, and you have now added that element of personalization to your relationship even if it may initially be an awkward moment that you have to get past (and you will).
If you hear someone mispronouncing somebody else's name, correct them.
Yes, even if that person is not in the room or on the Zoom call. It's the right thing to do and is a sign of respect. If you're in a meeting, and your colleague references someone incorrectly, it's okay to correct them. You should. It's not rude and it's not bossy. The reason this is important is because when names go uncorrected, mispronunciation becomes a habit which is more difficult to break a few months in than it would have been earlier on.
Don't assume people use common nicknames or shortened names.
Also, don't assign someone a nickname just because their name is "too hard" to pronounce. Unless that person has invited you to call them by a nickname or has asked you to call them something else, make the effort. Not every Robert likes to be called Bob, and not every Cassandra likes to be called Cassie. The same goes in reverse; don't assume that someone's name is actually a shortened form of a longer one unless they tell you that.
Don't make assumptions about someone's first language or nationality based on their name.
One of the biggest assumptions that people make about people with diverse names is that they will have an accent when they speak English, or that they are of the nationality that their last name suggests. A question I frequently get asked when someone has only seen my name (and sometimes my photo) is, "where are you from?", as if there's no way I can be Canadian or that English can't be my first language. In an age where we're fighting so hard for equality on all levels, this is an incredibly important habit society needs to unlearn.