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by Mark Molloy | Jul 11, 2020 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments
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Why were nobles decapitated during the French Revolution?… The peasants thought they were getting just too far a head.
Whoever thought of the idea of the French Revolution was very thorough… while the concept was mostly raw, the execution was flawless.
A Priest, a Politician, and an Engineer are set to be executed by guillotine during the French Revolution.The Executioner brings the Priest up first. He ask him if he'd like to lie facing down or facing up for his death. He responds that he would like to be facing up, so he can see the heavens while he's going to God. So the Executioner lays the Priest down in the guillotine facing up. He then releases the guillotine blade, and the blade stops just inches from the Priests neck. The Priest immediately begins praising his God, the crowd gasps in shock and demands that the man be released by The Executioner,–as God has clearly saved him from death. He agrees, and releases him as a free man.The Executioner next brings up the Politician. He asks him same question, and having witnessed the Priest's miraculous experience, he asks to be laid facing up for his execution as well, hoping that God will spare him for looking to heaven while facing his death as the Priest had done. The Executioner obliges, then releases the blade. But again, it suddenly stops just inches from the man's neck–sparing his life as it had with the Priest.Finally, the Engineer is brought up to face his execution. He requests to lie facing up as the previous two men had done. Again, the Executioner obliges and lays him on his back before going to release the blade. As the Executioner is about to release it, the Engineer says to the Executioner "Hold on, I see your problem right there."
How scared were the French royalty during the French Revolution?… Very, they completely lost their heads.
I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution…But it didn't really land…. I guess execution really is key!
During the French Revolution, what was the executioner's catch phrase?… "First come, first severed!"
Why is the French Revolution just like Prohibition?… They both got rid of Bourbon!
What is the Guillotine?… A French chopping centre.
Knock, knock… Who's there?… Francis Francis who?… France is a country in Europe. (World Geography Jokes)
What do you call a french guy in sandals?… Phillipe Phloppe. (Summer Jokes)
Bastille Day is just like the Fourth of July except it takes place in France and we don't care about it! (4th of July Jokes)
Which ghost was president of France?… Charles de Ghoul. (Ghost Jokes)
Who is the most famous French ant?… Napoleant! (Ant Jokes)
Why do French People eat snails?… Because they don't like fast food! (Fast Food Jokes)
I'm still upset they marked me wrong on my 7th grade history test on the question "what did they set up during the French Revolution?… "I maintain that "lots and lots of guillotines" is technically correct.
Where do fruits go on vacation?… Pear-is. (Travel Blogs)
How does every French joke start?… By looking over your shoulder.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?… He was declared to be in Seine. (Psychology Jokes)
Which is the biggest rope?… Europe. (World Geography Jokes)
What does a frog in Paris eat?… French Flies.
Whats in the middle of Paris?… R.
French people give me the crepes.
Knock Knock… Who's there?… Parton!… Parton who?… Parton my French!
3 aristocrats in the French RevolutionSo during the reign of terror in the French Revolution, there was a line of aristocrats waiting to be executed by guillotine. Near the middle of the line, there was a clergyman, an artist, and an engineer.The clergyman got up to the chopping block and said a short prayer, and miraculously when the guillotine dropped to kill him, it stopped just inches from his neck.The artist was amazed and started praying feverishly. When he got up to the gallows, the ax-man pulled the rope and the blade slid down quickly but stopped about a foot above his neck. Both the artist and clergyman were set free.Then the engineer was called up to the platform, and the undertaker said, 'Well, son, would you like to say a prayer as well?' The engineer said "Ya know, a little WD-40 would loosen that blade right up!"
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