Training siamese (biencoder) based transformer model with gradient checkpointing throws error
### System Info

PyTorch Lightning Version 1.6.5
Torch 1.13.0
Python version 3.8
CUDA Version: 11.4
4 NVIDIA A100-SXM4-40GBs
transformers  4.24.0

### Reproduction

After adding `model.gradient_checkpointing_enable()` to the training code, throwing below error 
```RuntimeError: Expected to mark a variable ready only once. This error is caused by one of the following reasons: 1) Use of a module parameter outside the `forward` function. Please make sure model parameters are not shared across multiple concurrent forward-backward passes. or try to use _set_static_graph() as a workaround if this module graph does not change during training loop.2) Reused parameters in multiple reentrant backward passes. For example, if you use multiple `checkpoint` functions to wrap the same part of your model, it would result in the same set of parameters been used by different reentrant backward passes multiple times, and hence marking a variable ready multiple times. DDP does not support such use cases in default. You can try to use _set_static_graph() as a workaround if your module graph does not change over iterations```

The workaround to fix this is add `use_reentrant=False` in the below file. 
https://github.com/huggingface/transformers/blob/main/src/transformers/models/bert/modeling_bert.py#L600

 ```
               layer_outputs = torch.utils.checkpoint.checkpoint(
                    create_custom_forward(layer_module),
                    hidden_states,
                    attention_mask,
                    layer_head_mask,
                    encoder_hidden_states,
                    encoder_attention_mask,
                    use_reentrant=False
                )
```
What's the best way to fix this? instead of adding the above flag manually in the source code

### Expected behavior

adding `model.gradient_checkpointing_enable()` shouldn't throw any error

### Code to reproduce

```import torch
import torch.nn as nn
from torch.utils.data import DataLoader, Dataset
from transformers import BertTokenizer, BertModel
import pytorch_lightning as pl


# Sample data
class SampleDataset(Dataset):
    def __init__(self):
        self.data = [
            ("I love coding", "I enjoy programming", 1),
            ("Python is great", "Java is popular", 0),
            ("Deep learning is fascinating", "Machine learning is interesting", 1),
            ("I prefer cats", "I like dogs", 0)
        ]
        self.tokenizer = BertTokenizer.from_pretrained('bert-base-uncased')

    def __len__(self):
        return len(self.data)

    def __getitem__(self, idx):
        text1, text2, label = self.data[idx]
        encoded_text1 = self.tokenizer.encode_plus(text1, add_special_tokens=True, padding='max_length', max_length=128, truncation=True)
        encoded_text2 = self.tokenizer.encode_plus(text2, add_special_tokens=True, padding='max_length', max_length=128, truncation=True)
        input_ids1 = torch.tensor(encoded_text1['input_ids'])
        attention_mask1 = torch.tensor(encoded_text1['attention_mask'])
        input_ids2 = torch.tensor(encoded_text2['input_ids'])
        attention_mask2 = torch.tensor(encoded_text2['attention_mask'])
        return (input_ids1, attention_mask1), (input_ids2, attention_mask2), label


# Define your LightningModule
class SiameseBiEncoder(pl.LightningModule):
    def __init__(self):
        super(SiameseBiEncoder, self).__init__()
        self.bert = BertModel.from_pretrained('bert-base-uncased')
        self.hidden_size = self.bert.config.hidden_size
        self.cosine_similarity = nn.CosineSimilarity(dim=1)
        self.criterion = nn.BCELoss()

    def forward(self, input_ids, attention_mask):
        outputs = self.bert(input_ids=input_ids, attention_mask=attention_mask)
        pooled_output = outputs.pooler_output
        return pooled_output

    def training_step(self, batch, batch_idx):
        (input_ids1, attention_mask1), (input_ids2, attention_mask2), labels = batch
        embeddings1 = self.forward(input_ids1, attention_mask1)
        embeddings2 = self.forward(input_ids2, attention_mask2)
        similarity_scores = self.cosine_similarity(embeddings1, embeddings2)
        loss = self.criterion(similarity_scores, labels.float())
        self.log('train_loss', loss)
        return loss

    def validation_step(self, batch, batch_idx):
        (input_ids1, attention_mask1), (input_ids2, attention_mask2), labels = batch
        embeddings1 = self.forward(input_ids1, attention_mask1)
        embeddings2 = self.forward(input_ids2, attention_mask2)
        similarity_scores = self.cosine_similarity(embeddings1, embeddings2)
        loss = self.criterion(similarity_scores, labels.float())
        self.log('val_loss', loss)
        return loss

    def configure_optimizers(self):
        optimizer = torch.optim.AdamW(self.parameters(), lr=2e-5)
        return optimizer

# Create the LightningDataModule
class SampleDataModule(pl.LightningDataModule):
    def __init__(self, batch_size=4):
        super(SampleDataModule, self).__init__()
        self.batch_size = batch_size

    def setup(self, stage=None):
        self.train_dataset = SampleDataset()
        self.val_dataset = SampleDataset()

    def train_dataloader(self):
        return DataLoader(self.train_dataset, batch_size=self.batch_size, shuffle=True)

    def val_dataloader(self):
        return DataLoader(self.val_dataset, batch_size=self.batch_size)

# Create an instance of your LightningModule
model = SiameseBiEncoder()
model.bert.gradient_checkpointing_enable()
print(f"Gradient Checkpointing: {model.bert.is_gradient_checkpointing}")
# Create the LightningDataModule instance
data_module = SampleDataModule()

# Create a Trainer instance
trainer = pl.Trainer(
    max_epochs=3, devices=2, accelerator="gpu", strategy="ddp")
trainer.fit(model, data_module)
cc @ArthurZucker and @younesbelkada <|||||>@sachinya00  What does your code look like, including training setup and training args?<|||||>I've updated the post with the code to reproduce the same<|||||>Hey, thanks for providing a reproduction script. 
Based on the provided traceback it seems like the issue lies with `DDP` that is asking you to use `_set_static_graph()`. Did that work for you? <|||||>This issue has been automatically marked as stale because it has not had recent activity. If you think this still needs to be addressed please comment on this thread.

Please note that issues that do not follow the [contributing guidelines](https://github.com/huggingface/transformers/blob/main/CONTRIBUTING.md) are likely to be ignored.