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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "I just want to start off by saying that you don’t have to talk about that to your therapist and still get useful therapy - one thing therapists do is give you advice and coping skills on how to manage your symptoms. They don’t exist to dig into your past, especially when the cause of the trauma is so clear. According to this EEOC source, it looks like the privacy sections of the ADA covers all employees, not just employees with accommodations. Your next step should be to go to HR, or if there is no HR, the next supervisor up.",
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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "HIPAA applies specifically to medical professionals. Your boss at the warehouse is not bound by the HIPAA. Your boss has a responsibility to make sure you aren't taking mind-altering drugs if you are going to operate or be around heavy machinery, like fork lifts common in a warehouse. He has a responsibility to all the employees he manages to keep them safe. He can ask. You aren't required to tell him. He can also fire you for not telling him. Your best solution would be to sit down privately with your boss and explain that you feel uncomfortable discussing the reasons for taking the medication, but show that the medication doesn't impact your ability to do your job, and doesn't have dangerous side effects.",
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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "This might not address your issue in the way you expect, but in many jobs where safety is at issue, you may have signed something upon your hiring that says you'll disclose if you're on any medications that may effect your ability to do your job. For example, if you're on benzodiazepines, that might be one category if medications that's included. You want to go over your hiring paperwork carefully so that when you move forward \\(whatever your next steps are with your boss\\), you are on solid footing.",
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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "HIPAA applies specifically to medical professionals. Your boss at the warehouse is not bound by the HIPAA. Your boss has a responsibility to make sure you aren't taking mind-altering drugs if you are going to operate or be around heavy machinery, like fork lifts common in a warehouse. He has a responsibility to all the employees he manages to keep them safe. He can ask. You aren't required to tell him. He can also fire you for not telling him. Your best solution would be to sit down privately with your boss and explain that you feel uncomfortable discussing the reasons for taking the medication, but show that the medication doesn't impact your ability to do your job, and doesn't have dangerous side effects.",
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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "https://www1.eeoc.gov//eeoc/publications/mental_health.cfm?renderforprint=1 You are covered under the American with Disabilities Act. You need to specifically ask for a reasonable accommodation so that you may take your medication. Your employer may ask for proof of your disability before they provide you with the accommodation. A note from your doctor stating that you need to take this medicine should be fine. I know this seems like an overkill and your idiot boss should just stop being an ass and let you take your medicine in peace. But he’s not going to and so you need to make sure to protect yourself. After you ask for reasonable accommodation and provide your doctor’s note, make sure you document any and all harassment. He has to provide the accommodation (which in your case means just a few minutes a day to take your medicine) and he cannot fire you for it.",
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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "I am a manager and consider it inappropriate to put an employee on the spot in front of the staff. I’ve dealt with injured feet, OCD, migraines, dizziness, pregnancy, the list goes on. Depending on the issue I would need to ask my employee a few simple questions in private and consult HR as well. I agree with another commenter’s suggestion about presenting your boss with a doctor’s note. More often than not in cases I’ve dealt with I’ve had to ask my affected staff member for one, especially if safety is a concern and also when trying to evaluate if a reasonable accommodation may be provided to an employee with restrictions and limitations. If you do not feel like your situation is being handled well please consult with HR as soon as possible. Other things you may also do are consult with your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and/or Corporate Safety (provided your employer has these). Hope this helps!",
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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "I've been in a similar situation. Worked at a warehouse for one of the biggest companies in the world. And, yes, while laws like non-retaliation and the like superficially protect employees, this won't stop vindictive managers/supervisors from finding a way to make an employees work-life miserable. My recommendation is to consult a union representative—if available—to establish a non-biased outside party. Going to human resources or even your super's super could make your situation worse. Remember: There's a reason why your manager 'earned' that title. [Birds of a feather...] In fairness and optimism, maybe your supervisor is somewhat inexperienced with proper protocol and is just worried that the medication you are taking could result in a workplace injury. I know that the warehouse I worked for had two main focus points: Safety and Productivity. With the former being the 'top priority.' *cough The worst part has to be the fact that anxiety and the post traumatic stress is compounded by having your work-life thrown into turmoil. Just keep your head on as straight as possible, safely do your job the best you can, and remember if worse-comes-to-worse your mental health is more important than anything—especially the job. Post script: Many workplaces and schools pretend that mental health is something that is given careful consideration and compassion, but results speak louder than words. With a mass school shooting every two months and unreasonably overly demanding work quotas it's obvious that it's up to those of us who become the victims of these problems to force change. You reaching out for help inches us closer to that goal. Best wishes.",
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"content": "I take medication for my anxiety. Manager is demanding to know what it is in front of other employees and after weeks of not telling him, he has started berating me in front of my coworkers not to take it in front of them (Georgia) My friend doesn’t use reddit, but I told him about this sub. So I’m letting him post on my account: I work at a warehouse, I’ve been there for two straight years, hardly any absences, I come in whenever they call. I like to work, it’s what I do. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety... also a possibility of PTSD due to my brother’s Suicide and Father’s death, and then grandmother’s death soon after. I have not gone to the therapist recommended to me, yet. I do not feel I am ready to discuss such things face to face. Regardless, this medicine has made an amazing difference. It’s been about 3 years since the above trauma, and this is the first thing I’ve tried or even realized I could try and my doctor and I have found the best dose so far. Anyway, my supervisor/manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.",
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"content": "There are a few situations where he would need to know, although the way he has gone about this is not proper. But this is very job and med dependent. If you work in an office, this should be np. If you work construction, are required to drive, etc., than this can be a real issue. In your post you do not state what your job is or what meds you are on. Do you operate \"heavy machinery?\" Can/do the meds you take affect your ability to work on things of a mechanical nature? If the meds you take put you or anyone else in danger he needs to know, and he needs to prevent you from continuing, or both you and your employer can be in a lot of trouble.",
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"content": "My ex-fiancee sold $25k engagement ring after our break-up instead of returning it to me. I still owe money on the ring. What do I do now? (MT)",
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"content": "I'm very curious about the circumstances of the breakup.",
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"content": "My ex-fiancee sold $25k engagement ring after our break-up instead of returning it to me. I still owe money on the ring. What do I do now? (MT)",
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"content": "Can the ring be repo-ed if he stops paying?",
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"content": "My ex-fiancee sold $25k engagement ring after our break-up instead of returning it to me. I still owe money on the ring. What do I do now? (MT)",
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"content": "I'm very curious about the circumstances of the breakup.",
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"content": "My ex-fiancee sold $25k engagement ring after our break-up instead of returning it to me. I still owe money on the ring. What do I do now? (MT)",
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"content": "deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7642 ^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?",
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"content": "I work as a driver, and saw something fucked up at work. My boss talked to her boss, and they both said that I cant contact the police about it. What CAN I do? So the story is that I was delivering to a man who let his Two-year-old with a soiled diaper open the door for a stranger, and when I came in he had his belt unbuckled his pants unbuttoned and unzipped. Is other younger daughter was sitting on the dirty floor next to his desk playing with something, I didn't see what it was. Something in the air reminded me of a pet parrots unclean cage, it smelled horrible in there. He had a very sexual video/ movie going on his computer monitor (man undressing a woman, camera on her ass). He told me his pants had fallen down(but Belts don't just come unbuckled). I set the pizza down on the table, and once he signed the credit card slip I excused myself. When I got back to the store I had written Everything down so that I wouldn't forget it talk to my manager about calling the police. She talked to her boss about It and they came to the conclusion that I \"can't call the police because it would fall back on the company and we can't have that\". What can I do to help these children? Their living conditions are terrible with his small, disgusting apartment and him beating it in front of them I'm in Kansas This happened about an hour ago",
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"content": "Report it. See about getting CPS to check it out. Don’t tell your employer and if they happen to fire you, get a job at one of the other pizza joints.",
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"content": "I work as a driver, and saw something fucked up at work. My boss talked to her boss, and they both said that I cant contact the police about it. What CAN I do? So the story is that I was delivering to a man who let his Two-year-old with a soiled diaper open the door for a stranger, and when I came in he had his belt unbuckled his pants unbuttoned and unzipped. Is other younger daughter was sitting on the dirty floor next to his desk playing with something, I didn't see what it was. Something in the air reminded me of a pet parrots unclean cage, it smelled horrible in there. He had a very sexual video/ movie going on his computer monitor (man undressing a woman, camera on her ass). He told me his pants had fallen down(but Belts don't just come unbuckled). I set the pizza down on the table, and once he signed the credit card slip I excused myself. When I got back to the store I had written Everything down so that I wouldn't forget it talk to my manager about calling the police. She talked to her boss about It and they came to the conclusion that I \"can't call the police because it would fall back on the company and we can't have that\". What can I do to help these children? Their living conditions are terrible with his small, disgusting apartment and him beating it in front of them I'm in Kansas This happened about an hour ago",
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"content": "Call CPS and make an anonymous report. Your bosses are being morally repugnant over this.",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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"content": "Canadian. Animal care graduate. Essential oils is toxic to cats. It damages their lungs and can cause a multitude of problems heart, blood, and brain. This cat sounds feral, needs an assessment to properly diagnosis what is up. You can report this as an animal attack for sure but in regards to a sue best to check with your police station as laws differ in each province. Report it to spca or animal humane society in Quebec. Your ex roommate is enabling not helping the poor animal.",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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"content": "Essential oil diffusers can be toxic to cats. Maybe the poor thing is in pain too.",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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"content": "Canadian. Animal care graduate. Essential oils is toxic to cats. It damages their lungs and can cause a multitude of problems heart, blood, and brain. This cat sounds feral, needs an assessment to properly diagnosis what is up. You can report this as an animal attack for sure but in regards to a sue best to check with your police station as laws differ in each province. Report it to spca or animal humane society in Quebec. Your ex roommate is enabling not helping the poor animal.",
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[
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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}
] |
[
{
"content": "Tbh it sounds like this cat is fatal or has a severe case of anxiety and ptsd and something keeps triggering it. Yes you can sue for you medical bills and also report this to animal control. If he’s never been to the vet there is a chance they will want to quarantine the cat for rabies and they may ask you to get the shots to be on the safe side.",
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[
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Canadian. Animal care graduate. Essential oils is toxic to cats. It damages their lungs and can cause a multitude of problems heart, blood, and brain. This cat sounds feral, needs an assessment to properly diagnosis what is up. You can report this as an animal attack for sure but in regards to a sue best to check with your police station as laws differ in each province. Report it to spca or animal humane society in Quebec. Your ex roommate is enabling not helping the poor animal.",
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}
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[
{
"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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[
{
"content": "B-3.1 Loi sur le bien être et la sécurité de l'animal. (animal protection law Québec). It could be difficult to prove negligence. But if you can, then the SPA Québec can come and take the cat. You can contact them (below) for guidance. It would put it up for adoption, and will likely get put down due to behaviour. Alternatively, if it did get away, it wouldn't survive the winter in Canada. Unfortunately, its best bet would be to stay with the allegedly neglectful owner. For the damages, I would argue that the owner is liable. http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/fr/ShowDoc/cs/B-3.1 https://spadequebec.ca/denoncer-2/",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Essential oil diffusers can be toxic to cats. Maybe the poor thing is in pain too.",
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[
{
"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Tbh it sounds like this cat is fatal or has a severe case of anxiety and ptsd and something keeps triggering it. Yes you can sue for you medical bills and also report this to animal control. If he’s never been to the vet there is a chance they will want to quarantine the cat for rabies and they may ask you to get the shots to be on the safe side.",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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"content": "Essential oil diffusers can be toxic to cats. Maybe the poor thing is in pain too.",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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"content": "B-3.1 Loi sur le bien être et la sécurité de l'animal. (animal protection law Québec). It could be difficult to prove negligence. But if you can, then the SPA Québec can come and take the cat. You can contact them (below) for guidance. It would put it up for adoption, and will likely get put down due to behaviour. Alternatively, if it did get away, it wouldn't survive the winter in Canada. Unfortunately, its best bet would be to stay with the allegedly neglectful owner. For the damages, I would argue that the owner is liable. http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/fr/ShowDoc/cs/B-3.1 https://spadequebec.ca/denoncer-2/",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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"content": "Tbh it sounds like this cat is fatal or has a severe case of anxiety and ptsd and something keeps triggering it. Yes you can sue for you medical bills and also report this to animal control. If he’s never been to the vet there is a chance they will want to quarantine the cat for rabies and they may ask you to get the shots to be on the safe side.",
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"content": "My roommate’s cat has serious behavioral issues that I’ve tried numerous times to talk to my roommate about. He’s always denied everything and refused to hear about it, but tonight the cat attacked me so bad I ended up needing sutures and I’m on sick leave. Can I sue him and how? I’m a 20 years old female student living in Quebec, Canada. I moved in with my roommate (33,M) last July. I met him through an add that he posted when he was looking for a roommate. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, no red flags about him so I agreed to move in. He told me he has a cat that rarely comes out of the storage room and is very shy. That’s all. Turns out, the cat, Gus, is a living demon. Usually, I’m very good with animals. My mom always said I was gifted because I’ve always been able to approach, tame and comfort any animal I’ve ever met. But not this cat. Gus has some serious behavioral issues. At first, it started with him pooping and peeing everywhere in the apartment, especially on the couch. No big deal, just gotta clean it and it’s forgotten. It never came out of the storage room, to the point where my roommate had to put his food and water bowls and his litter box in the storage room. I get it, I’m an intruder in his space. I thought if I gave the cat lots of space and let it take it’s time, it would get used to my presence. It did the complete opposite. Since September, the cat waits for me to wake up and get out of my bedroom in the morning, and attacks me. It claws my legs and hisses and freaks out as soon as it sees me, and I almost never really notice it first, as it hides and waits for me to get close enough. So almost every morning, I get surprise-attacked as soon as I wake up. I told my roommate multiple times about this, and he never cared. The cat also screams bloody murder every single night, it’s so loud even the neighbors hear it (we live in an apartment building). The cat really sounds like it’s in agony, it’s really frightening. The cat shows ALL signs of anxiety disorder. I’ve tried every way of talking to my roommate about it, even offered to pay for half of the vet bill if we take it there, but my roommate doesn’t want to hear it. He keeps buying essential oil diffuser and catnip, expecting it to magically solve the issue. I suggested once that my roommate put the cat on antidepressants, and my roommate was so offended by it, he kicked me out and gave me 1 month to find another place and leave. He said that clearly I’m not compatible with the cat, so I have to move. I didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?",
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}
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[
{
"content": "B-3.1 Loi sur le bien être et la sécurité de l'animal. (animal protection law Québec). It could be difficult to prove negligence. But if you can, then the SPA Québec can come and take the cat. You can contact them (below) for guidance. It would put it up for adoption, and will likely get put down due to behaviour. Alternatively, if it did get away, it wouldn't survive the winter in Canada. Unfortunately, its best bet would be to stay with the allegedly neglectful owner. For the damages, I would argue that the owner is liable. http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/fr/ShowDoc/cs/B-3.1 https://spadequebec.ca/denoncer-2/",
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"content": "Parents withholding (possibly destroying) all legal documents. How do we go about getting new ones? My boyfriend is not on good terms with his family AT ALL. They've recently completely cut him off so he has no access to any of his legal documents including his birth certificate, passport, and social security card. Right now the only form of ID he has is his drivers license which expired 2 years ago. How would we go about getting new documentation for him? We live in Texas and his parents are in California so we really don't have any way of recovering them especially if they've been discarded/destroyed. Is it even possible to get new documents with just his expired license or are we screwed?",
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"content": "How old is your boyfriend? And where was he born? I would start here if he was born in California to get a birth certificate. Then I’d go here to get a replacement SS card. Then go here to report the passport lost/stolen. You can follow directions there to replace the passport.",
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"content": "Parents withholding (possibly destroying) all legal documents. How do we go about getting new ones? My boyfriend is not on good terms with his family AT ALL. They've recently completely cut him off so he has no access to any of his legal documents including his birth certificate, passport, and social security card. Right now the only form of ID he has is his drivers license which expired 2 years ago. How would we go about getting new documentation for him? We live in Texas and his parents are in California so we really don't have any way of recovering them especially if they've been discarded/destroyed. Is it even possible to get new documents with just his expired license or are we screwed?",
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"content": "Where was he born? Does he have a school/ college ID?",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "Not a lawyer and not in Texas, but I work at an agency that serves adults with disabilities. OP, this is considered financial abuse. What your mom is doing is not allowed. Anyone that you interact with as disability support for you is a mandated reporter. So if you have a case manager, any in-home therapies, a day program, a doctor you trust, etc. you can talk to any of those people. Tell them that your mother is financially abusing you and gives you only $7 a month, that you don’t have enough to eat as a result, and that you need help. They can help you get a case started with Adult Protective Services, and this is what APS is for.",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "Does she have legal guardianship of you?",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "Not a lawyer and not in Texas, but I work at an agency that serves adults with disabilities. OP, this is considered financial abuse. What your mom is doing is not allowed. Anyone that you interact with as disability support for you is a mandated reporter. So if you have a case manager, any in-home therapies, a day program, a doctor you trust, etc. you can talk to any of those people. Tell them that your mother is financially abusing you and gives you only $7 a month, that you don’t have enough to eat as a result, and that you need help. They can help you get a case started with Adult Protective Services, and this is what APS is for.",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "Are you sure she does not have guardianship? The benefits you listed are uncommon for a 19-year-old to receive and if you didn't apply, someone did for you. If you were a disabled child her legal obligation to support you continues indefinitely. If she is your abuser she is not going to let you save up and move out. $1100/month is not a lot and it's going to be your income for a while. Working could jeopardize your social security. You shouldn't try to work until you understand how that will effect your income. I'd recommend contacting Disability Rights Texas. https://www.disabilityrightstx.org/en/home/ There are also legal aid organizations in your area that can confirm whether she has legal guardianship. If she does that is something you must challenge before you cam be independent.",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "I'm going to disagree with everyone who says that this is ipso facto financial abuse. OP gets room, board, and utilities (also clothing and other supplies?) for $624 per month, which seems quite reasonable. u/Napalmenator and a few others make the correct point that OP is perfectly free to change the payee and find a different living situation. ·",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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{
"content": "Does your husband help??",
"role": "assistant"
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
"role": "user"
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[
{
"content": "I'm going to disagree with everyone who says that this is ipso facto financial abuse. OP gets room, board, and utilities (also clothing and other supplies?) for $624 per month, which seems quite reasonable. u/Napalmenator and a few others make the correct point that OP is perfectly free to change the payee and find a different living situation. ·",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "People are saying to contact APS but I also think you should contact your local developmental disability services agency. In my state, each county has a board of DD. It may be different in Texas, but you should be able to get help from them specific to your autism diagnosis. I did a Google search and this is what I found (https://tcdd.texas.gov/). I would encourage you to contact them. APS may refer you to them, but often times agencies don't communicate with each other and they might not even know to do that. You can get ongoing support from them and it may greatly improve the quality of your life. I want to encourage you by saying that you don't have to live this way. You can get help to find another SSI payee, and people who can help you live your day to day life. It just may take a while. Just reach out to them. In the meantime, have you looked into local food pantries? Often times they can even deliver if you can't get there. I wish you the best and hope you don't have to deal with this much longer. ❤️",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "I'm going to disagree with everyone who says that this is ipso facto financial abuse. OP gets room, board, and utilities (also clothing and other supplies?) for $624 per month, which seems quite reasonable. u/Napalmenator and a few others make the correct point that OP is perfectly free to change the payee and find a different living situation. ·",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "No it is not legal. Not a lawyer, ,but a disability rights advocate in NC. You are going to need help. Try the organisation below, and the links at the bottom of the page. Disability Rights Texas My wife is the co-payee on my son's ssi account. You having no say is not how it supposed to work, but social security is a very slow organisation. Also University Texas has a disability rights law clinic. This would be free to you. What is happening to you a blatant attempt to both financially exploit you, and to exclude you from your community. I can understand about the fear of new situations and people (my son is an adult with autism) but you have people who want you to be in control of your life. Reach out. Good luck",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "I'm going to disagree with everyone who says that this is ipso facto financial abuse. OP gets room, board, and utilities (also clothing and other supplies?) for $624 per month, which seems quite reasonable. u/Napalmenator and a few others make the correct point that OP is perfectly free to change the payee and find a different living situation. ·",
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[
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "You day there is no conservatorship or guardianship in place over you, and you are an independent adult... so this is pressure, abuse and bullying, not a legal arrangement. You can change your payee. If you are having trouble, give a call to Adult Protective Services. They will be able to advise you and probably provide practical help",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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{
"content": "I'm going to disagree with everyone who says that this is ipso facto financial abuse. OP gets room, board, and utilities (also clothing and other supplies?) for $624 per month, which seems quite reasonable. u/Napalmenator and a few others make the correct point that OP is perfectly free to change the payee and find a different living situation. ·",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "You need to get a hold of social security and tell them you need your money sent to you and deposited in your own account. Once you have a hold of your money you can apply for affordable housing. It's usually called section 8 housing but it's rent based on your income. The waiting list is usually 6-8 months long, so apply now, while you're waiting for housing you can deal with social security. You're an adult, it sounds like you can make decisions by yourself, have you ever signed a paper stating your mother was your guardian? If not you are entitled to all your money and you should be getting it, not her",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "No it is not legal. Not a lawyer, ,but a disability rights advocate in NC. You are going to need help. Try the organisation below, and the links at the bottom of the page. Disability Rights Texas My wife is the co-payee on my son's ssi account. You having no say is not how it supposed to work, but social security is a very slow organisation. Also University Texas has a disability rights law clinic. This would be free to you. What is happening to you a blatant attempt to both financially exploit you, and to exclude you from your community. I can understand about the fear of new situations and people (my son is an adult with autism) but you have people who want you to be in control of your life. Reach out. Good luck",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "People are saying to contact APS but I also think you should contact your local developmental disability services agency. In my state, each county has a board of DD. It may be different in Texas, but you should be able to get help from them specific to your autism diagnosis. I did a Google search and this is what I found (https://tcdd.texas.gov/). I would encourage you to contact them. APS may refer you to them, but often times agencies don't communicate with each other and they might not even know to do that. You can get ongoing support from them and it may greatly improve the quality of your life. I want to encourage you by saying that you don't have to live this way. You can get help to find another SSI payee, and people who can help you live your day to day life. It just may take a while. Just reach out to them. In the meantime, have you looked into local food pantries? Often times they can even deliver if you can't get there. I wish you the best and hope you don't have to deal with this much longer. ❤️",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "People are saying to contact APS but I also think you should contact your local developmental disability services agency. In my state, each county has a board of DD. It may be different in Texas, but you should be able to get help from them specific to your autism diagnosis. I did a Google search and this is what I found (https://tcdd.texas.gov/). I would encourage you to contact them. APS may refer you to them, but often times agencies don't communicate with each other and they might not even know to do that. You can get ongoing support from them and it may greatly improve the quality of your life. I want to encourage you by saying that you don't have to live this way. You can get help to find another SSI payee, and people who can help you live your day to day life. It just may take a while. Just reach out to them. In the meantime, have you looked into local food pantries? Often times they can even deliver if you can't get there. I wish you the best and hope you don't have to deal with this much longer. ❤️",
"role": "assistant"
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[
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
"role": "user"
}
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{
"content": "You day there is no conservatorship or guardianship in place over you, and you are an independent adult... so this is pressure, abuse and bullying, not a legal arrangement. You can change your payee. If you are having trouble, give a call to Adult Protective Services. They will be able to advise you and probably provide practical help",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "No it is not legal. Not a lawyer, ,but a disability rights advocate in NC. You are going to need help. Try the organisation below, and the links at the bottom of the page. Disability Rights Texas My wife is the co-payee on my son's ssi account. You having no say is not how it supposed to work, but social security is a very slow organisation. Also University Texas has a disability rights law clinic. This would be free to you. What is happening to you a blatant attempt to both financially exploit you, and to exclude you from your community. I can understand about the fear of new situations and people (my son is an adult with autism) but you have people who want you to be in control of your life. Reach out. Good luck",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "You day there is no conservatorship or guardianship in place over you, and you are an independent adult... so this is pressure, abuse and bullying, not a legal arrangement. You can change your payee. If you are having trouble, give a call to Adult Protective Services. They will be able to advise you and probably provide practical help",
"role": "assistant"
}
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[
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
"role": "user"
}
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{
"content": "No it is not legal. Not a lawyer, ,but a disability rights advocate in NC. You are going to need help. Try the organisation below, and the links at the bottom of the page. Disability Rights Texas My wife is the co-payee on my son's ssi account. You having no say is not how it supposed to work, but social security is a very slow organisation. Also University Texas has a disability rights law clinic. This would be free to you. What is happening to you a blatant attempt to both financially exploit you, and to exclude you from your community. I can understand about the fear of new situations and people (my son is an adult with autism) but you have people who want you to be in control of your life. Reach out. Good luck",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
"role": "user"
}
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{
"content": "You need to get a hold of social security and tell them you need your money sent to you and deposited in your own account. Once you have a hold of your money you can apply for affordable housing. It's usually called section 8 housing but it's rent based on your income. The waiting list is usually 6-8 months long, so apply now, while you're waiting for housing you can deal with social security. You're an adult, it sounds like you can make decisions by yourself, have you ever signed a paper stating your mother was your guardian? If not you are entitled to all your money and you should be getting it, not her",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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"content": "625 a month for rent plus bills is low. Not from Texas but here in this part of Florida a cheap one bedroom is going for 1000 and that doesn't include bills. You must accept that you are in one of the lowest classes of income in this country. Those making low income can apply for housing assistance but the areas where you can get in are usually highly unfavorable with higher violents crimes and drug use. Sad reality is that it is almost impossible to advance with just a social security check. It is a meant to help with finances not cover all your needs. IMO I would focus on ways to make my own money and save up. Try working with state programs that can help you find work that can accommodate your needs as well. Here in Florida you have to prove you can manage your own finances before being your own payee and working and managing your earned income is a good way to show that.",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
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[
{
"content": "You need to get a hold of social security and tell them you need your money sent to you and deposited in your own account. Once you have a hold of your money you can apply for affordable housing. It's usually called section 8 housing but it's rent based on your income. The waiting list is usually 6-8 months long, so apply now, while you're waiting for housing you can deal with social security. You're an adult, it sounds like you can make decisions by yourself, have you ever signed a paper stating your mother was your guardian? If not you are entitled to all your money and you should be getting it, not her",
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"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
"role": "user"
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[
{
"content": "To all the people saying the OP is being abused, what's gonna happen if she gets the payee switched and no longer pays rent? She gets thrown out.....it is not against the law to charge a disabled adult rent....",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "Is it legal for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a \"oh well too bad you're an adult\" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You need to get a hold of social security and tell them you need your money sent to you and deposited in your own account. Once you have a hold of your money you can apply for affordable housing. It's usually called section 8 housing but it's rent based on your income. The waiting list is usually 6-8 months long, so apply now, while you're waiting for housing you can deal with social security. You're an adult, it sounds like you can make decisions by yourself, have you ever signed a paper stating your mother was your guardian? If not you are entitled to all your money and you should be getting it, not her",
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[
{
"content": "Mom is withholding important documents for me (my ss card, green card, etc) Location: Wisconsin USA My mom and I got into an argument on thanksgiving, took my car, cut me off the phone plan etc. A week later she had convinced me to have lunch with her, where she asked if I could give her my ss card, green card, passport because she wanted to file for my citizenship. I know it sounds dumb but I agreed. Turns out my permanent residence card expires next year, and filing for citizenship would take about a year. Plus I’m only 19, and I’m broke af and I figured I would trust her to cover it. She also agreed to give me my car back. Anyways, we got into a another fight. She went back on her agreement of giving me my car back (which just fucks me over because I moved out of the city to live in a rural area. Now I can’t really get a job without being able to transport myself). I asked her to give me back my documents and she keeps ignoring me and when she finally replied she said no. What do I do?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Go to apartment. Contact police. Tell them you want a civil standby while you retrieve your property. Whose name is the car in?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "Mom is withholding important documents for me (my ss card, green card, etc) Location: Wisconsin USA My mom and I got into an argument on thanksgiving, took my car, cut me off the phone plan etc. A week later she had convinced me to have lunch with her, where she asked if I could give her my ss card, green card, passport because she wanted to file for my citizenship. I know it sounds dumb but I agreed. Turns out my permanent residence card expires next year, and filing for citizenship would take about a year. Plus I’m only 19, and I’m broke af and I figured I would trust her to cover it. She also agreed to give me my car back. Anyways, we got into a another fight. She went back on her agreement of giving me my car back (which just fucks me over because I moved out of the city to live in a rural area. Now I can’t really get a job without being able to transport myself). I asked her to give me back my documents and she keeps ignoring me and when she finally replied she said no. What do I do?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Can you get your documents back without her knowledge?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | false |
[
{
"content": "Mom is withholding important documents for me (my ss card, green card, etc) Location: Wisconsin USA My mom and I got into an argument on thanksgiving, took my car, cut me off the phone plan etc. A week later she had convinced me to have lunch with her, where she asked if I could give her my ss card, green card, passport because she wanted to file for my citizenship. I know it sounds dumb but I agreed. Turns out my permanent residence card expires next year, and filing for citizenship would take about a year. Plus I’m only 19, and I’m broke af and I figured I would trust her to cover it. She also agreed to give me my car back. Anyways, we got into a another fight. She went back on her agreement of giving me my car back (which just fucks me over because I moved out of the city to live in a rural area. Now I can’t really get a job without being able to transport myself). I asked her to give me back my documents and she keeps ignoring me and when she finally replied she said no. What do I do?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Can you report the green card and passport as stolen and take the police report to get new ones?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "Mom is withholding important documents for me (my ss card, green card, etc) Location: Wisconsin USA My mom and I got into an argument on thanksgiving, took my car, cut me off the phone plan etc. A week later she had convinced me to have lunch with her, where she asked if I could give her my ss card, green card, passport because she wanted to file for my citizenship. I know it sounds dumb but I agreed. Turns out my permanent residence card expires next year, and filing for citizenship would take about a year. Plus I’m only 19, and I’m broke af and I figured I would trust her to cover it. She also agreed to give me my car back. Anyways, we got into a another fight. She went back on her agreement of giving me my car back (which just fucks me over because I moved out of the city to live in a rural area. Now I can’t really get a job without being able to transport myself). I asked her to give me back my documents and she keeps ignoring me and when she finally replied she said no. What do I do?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Can you get your documents back without her knowledge?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | false |
[
{
"content": "My mom and I were hit by a motorcycle on the freeway a year ago (CA). The motorcyclist was deemed at fault, but his lawyer just requested a list of my mom's assets. We can't afford a lawyer and have never dealt with this before. So a year ago, my mom and I were hit by a motorcycle who was lane splitting and going twice the speed of everyone else on the freeway as we were merging lanes, blinker on and all. We didn't see or hear him until it was too late and he had hit us, and another car. He seemed fine, as he had dismissed the ambulance when it first arrived, except he had called it back minutes later when, who I think was his girlfriend, arrived and spoke with him. He called back the medics, they put a neck brace on him and placed him on a stretcher, and he took selfies as he was loaded on to the ambulance. This was all noted in the police report, which also states that the motorcyclist is at fault, and we thought everything was settled until a few days ago. My mom's insurance company called her and told her that the motorcyclist's lawyer is asking for a list of my mom's assets. She said that even though the motorcyclist was 99% at fault, because my mom's car was moving she is considered 1% at fault. And because the insurance company only paid for 95% of the man's medical bill, he's seeking out the rest of the money. My mom complied and sent the information to the insurance company, but my mom and I aren't well-off. It's just us two, and we can't afford a lawyer. What little money my mom has saved is to pay for other issues we have going on, and the only asset she has besides that money is the house we live in. We're terrified he's going to try and take the house from us. Should we be worried?",
"role": "user"
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] |
[
{
"content": "Unless your insurance has already paid out the policy limits they have to defend you in court. If this guy hasn't filed a lawsuit you have no obligation to disclose anything to him.",
"role": "assistant"
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[
{
"content": "My mom and I were hit by a motorcycle on the freeway a year ago (CA). The motorcyclist was deemed at fault, but his lawyer just requested a list of my mom's assets. We can't afford a lawyer and have never dealt with this before. So a year ago, my mom and I were hit by a motorcycle who was lane splitting and going twice the speed of everyone else on the freeway as we were merging lanes, blinker on and all. We didn't see or hear him until it was too late and he had hit us, and another car. He seemed fine, as he had dismissed the ambulance when it first arrived, except he had called it back minutes later when, who I think was his girlfriend, arrived and spoke with him. He called back the medics, they put a neck brace on him and placed him on a stretcher, and he took selfies as he was loaded on to the ambulance. This was all noted in the police report, which also states that the motorcyclist is at fault, and we thought everything was settled until a few days ago. My mom's insurance company called her and told her that the motorcyclist's lawyer is asking for a list of my mom's assets. She said that even though the motorcyclist was 99% at fault, because my mom's car was moving she is considered 1% at fault. And because the insurance company only paid for 95% of the man's medical bill, he's seeking out the rest of the money. My mom complied and sent the information to the insurance company, but my mom and I aren't well-off. It's just us two, and we can't afford a lawyer. What little money my mom has saved is to pay for other issues we have going on, and the only asset she has besides that money is the house we live in. We're terrified he's going to try and take the house from us. Should we be worried?",
"role": "user"
}
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[
{
"content": "It sounds like your insurance is handling this. This is why you pay for insurance. You don't need to hire your own lawyer unless the claim exceeds your liability limit, which I doubt her 1% responsibility of his remaining 5% bills will exceed. But yeah. Just let your insurance cover this. That's why you pay for insurance, so you don't have to worry about this stuff.",
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[
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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[
{
"content": ">I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. It is 100% not your \"family duty\" to keep your felonious brother out of trouble for crimes he committed completely under his own free will. Hell, if anything you'd better throw him under the bus in case the scrutiny comes pointing to YOU.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Based on a quick glance, it is *fairly* likely that your brother has committed what could potentially be a federal crime but is certainly a crime in Vermont, which I would guess would be the jurisdiction of the estate considering your mother passed there.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | false |
[
{
"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": ">I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. It is 100% not your \"family duty\" to keep your felonious brother out of trouble for crimes he committed completely under his own free will. Hell, if anything you'd better throw him under the bus in case the scrutiny comes pointing to YOU.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Lawyer time. This is a lot of money, time, and complication that you don't want to take on by yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | false |
[
{
"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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}
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[
{
"content": "Posting separately vs. edit of prior post, so you're sure to see. The Vermont Statutes Online >**§ 2534. Executor or administrator** > >An executor or administrator who embezzles or fraudulently converts to his or her own use, money, obligations, securities or other effects or property belonging to the estate of which he or she is executor or administrator, shall be guilty of larceny and shall be imprisoned not more than 10 years or fined not more than $1,000.00, or both. (Amended 1971, No. 199 (Adj. Sess.), § 15; 1981, No. 223 (Adj. Sess.), § 23.) And this re: statute of limitations in Vermont: >**§ 4501. Limitation of prosecutions for certain crimes** > >(b) Prosecutions for manslaughter, lewd and lascivious conduct, sexual abuse of a vulnerable adult, grand larceny, robbery, burglary, embezzlement, forgery, bribery offenses, false claims, fraud under 33 V.S.A. § 141(d), and felony tax offenses shall be commenced **within six years after the commission of the offense, and not after.**",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "California is a two party consent state. Don’t tell anyone other than your lawyer that you made that recording.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "Posting separately vs. edit of prior post, so you're sure to see. The Vermont Statutes Online >**§ 2534. Executor or administrator** > >An executor or administrator who embezzles or fraudulently converts to his or her own use, money, obligations, securities or other effects or property belonging to the estate of which he or she is executor or administrator, shall be guilty of larceny and shall be imprisoned not more than 10 years or fined not more than $1,000.00, or both. (Amended 1971, No. 199 (Adj. Sess.), § 15; 1981, No. 223 (Adj. Sess.), § 23.) And this re: statute of limitations in Vermont: >**§ 4501. Limitation of prosecutions for certain crimes** > >(b) Prosecutions for manslaughter, lewd and lascivious conduct, sexual abuse of a vulnerable adult, grand larceny, robbery, burglary, embezzlement, forgery, bribery offenses, false claims, fraud under 33 V.S.A. § 141(d), and felony tax offenses shall be commenced **within six years after the commission of the offense, and not after.**",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "Article excerpts (full article linked), similar stealing executor situation, (in MA, and not VT): After Lying and Embezzling from Her Mother’s Estate, Daughter is Jailed >*Ultimately \\daughter\\] was charged with two counts of larceny, two counts of perjury and two counts of embezzlement.* > >*\\[Daughter\\] was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years of probation. She must also pay restitution to other family members for the money she stole. Her husband was sentenced to 18 months in jail, but the majority of that sentence was suspended.* [What Happens When the Executor of the Will Steals the Money? Besides useful information, article mentions state laws specifying \"window\" during which other heirs can take \\legal\\] action against executor. Couldn't find what Vermont has to say about a \"statute of limitations\" on civil suit or criminal charges (if law allows) in such cases. Here's detailed discussion of laws governing misdeeds by executors of Vermont estates: [Living Well on Other People's Money ~~Can he be charged with a criminal act under Vermont statues? Not clear to me.~~ At the very least, consult with an attorney who specializes in probate/estate law, for expert guidance. Too much at stake, and it would be criminal in and of itself for your brother to get away with this egregious behavior. **Edit to add: See separate post re: Vermont statutes** **found later.**",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "(not a lawyer, but I have been an executor). Are there any other heirs besides you and your brother? Now that you're the executor you have a fiduciary duty to all the heirs, which I believe means that you have a duty to them to attempt to recover what your brother stole from the estate. Make sure you get as much detail as possible out of the financial institutions involved. Not just the estate account(s) but if at all possible, her personal accounts before her assets were moved into the estate accounts.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "OP, do you know if your brother was bonded? This will make recovering the money significantly easier, as it will shift the burden to the bond agency to go after him civilly. It's entirely possible, however, that if your mother waived bond in her Will, that he was not bonded.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "(not a lawyer, but I have been an executor). Are there any other heirs besides you and your brother? Now that you're the executor you have a fiduciary duty to all the heirs, which I believe means that you have a duty to them to attempt to recover what your brother stole from the estate. Make sure you get as much detail as possible out of the financial institutions involved. Not just the estate account(s) but if at all possible, her personal accounts before her assets were moved into the estate accounts.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "In my experience it's common to blame the sister-in-law or brother-in-law... it's a lot easier to put the blame on the clear outsider for whatever perceived \"slight\" that can be blamed for the blamer's bad behavior.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "(not a lawyer, but I have been an executor). Are there any other heirs besides you and your brother? Now that you're the executor you have a fiduciary duty to all the heirs, which I believe means that you have a duty to them to attempt to recover what your brother stole from the estate. Make sure you get as much detail as possible out of the financial institutions involved. Not just the estate account(s) but if at all possible, her personal accounts before her assets were moved into the estate accounts.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "Article excerpts (full article linked), similar stealing executor situation, (in MA, and not VT): After Lying and Embezzling from Her Mother’s Estate, Daughter is Jailed >*Ultimately \\daughter\\] was charged with two counts of larceny, two counts of perjury and two counts of embezzlement.* > >*\\[Daughter\\] was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years of probation. She must also pay restitution to other family members for the money she stole. Her husband was sentenced to 18 months in jail, but the majority of that sentence was suspended.* [What Happens When the Executor of the Will Steals the Money? Besides useful information, article mentions state laws specifying \"window\" during which other heirs can take \\legal\\] action against executor. Couldn't find what Vermont has to say about a \"statute of limitations\" on civil suit or criminal charges (if law allows) in such cases. Here's detailed discussion of laws governing misdeeds by executors of Vermont estates: [Living Well on Other People's Money ~~Can he be charged with a criminal act under Vermont statues? Not clear to me.~~ At the very least, consult with an attorney who specializes in probate/estate law, for expert guidance. Too much at stake, and it would be criminal in and of itself for your brother to get away with this egregious behavior. **Edit to add: See separate post re: Vermont statutes** **found later.**",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "OP, do you know if your brother was bonded? This will make recovering the money significantly easier, as it will shift the burden to the bond agency to go after him civilly. It's entirely possible, however, that if your mother waived bond in her Will, that he was not bonded.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "In my experience it's common to blame the sister-in-law or brother-in-law... it's a lot easier to put the blame on the clear outsider for whatever perceived \"slight\" that can be blamed for the blamer's bad behavior.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "OP, do you know if your brother was bonded? This will make recovering the money significantly easier, as it will shift the burden to the bond agency to go after him civilly. It's entirely possible, however, that if your mother waived bond in her Will, that he was not bonded.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "Article excerpts (full article linked), similar stealing executor situation, (in MA, and not VT): After Lying and Embezzling from Her Mother’s Estate, Daughter is Jailed >*Ultimately \\daughter\\] was charged with two counts of larceny, two counts of perjury and two counts of embezzlement.* > >*\\[Daughter\\] was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years of probation. She must also pay restitution to other family members for the money she stole. Her husband was sentenced to 18 months in jail, but the majority of that sentence was suspended.* [What Happens When the Executor of the Will Steals the Money? Besides useful information, article mentions state laws specifying \"window\" during which other heirs can take \\legal\\] action against executor. Couldn't find what Vermont has to say about a \"statute of limitations\" on civil suit or criminal charges (if law allows) in such cases. Here's detailed discussion of laws governing misdeeds by executors of Vermont estates: [Living Well on Other People's Money ~~Can he be charged with a criminal act under Vermont statues? Not clear to me.~~ At the very least, consult with an attorney who specializes in probate/estate law, for expert guidance. Too much at stake, and it would be criminal in and of itself for your brother to get away with this egregious behavior. **Edit to add: See separate post re: Vermont statutes** **found later.**",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "> direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. Additionally, doesn't this sound like structuring? Did he do this so it wouldn't have to be reported?",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "In my experience it's common to blame the sister-in-law or brother-in-law... it's a lot easier to put the blame on the clear outsider for whatever perceived \"slight\" that can be blamed for the blamer's bad behavior.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "> direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. Additionally, doesn't this sound like structuring? Did he do this so it wouldn't have to be reported?",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "Article excerpts (full article linked), similar stealing executor situation, (in MA, and not VT): After Lying and Embezzling from Her Mother’s Estate, Daughter is Jailed >*Ultimately \\daughter\\] was charged with two counts of larceny, two counts of perjury and two counts of embezzlement.* > >*\\[Daughter\\] was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years of probation. She must also pay restitution to other family members for the money she stole. Her husband was sentenced to 18 months in jail, but the majority of that sentence was suspended.* [What Happens When the Executor of the Will Steals the Money? Besides useful information, article mentions state laws specifying \"window\" during which other heirs can take \\legal\\] action against executor. Couldn't find what Vermont has to say about a \"statute of limitations\" on civil suit or criminal charges (if law allows) in such cases. Here's detailed discussion of laws governing misdeeds by executors of Vermont estates: [Living Well on Other People's Money ~~Can he be charged with a criminal act under Vermont statues? Not clear to me.~~ At the very least, consult with an attorney who specializes in probate/estate law, for expert guidance. Too much at stake, and it would be criminal in and of itself for your brother to get away with this egregious behavior. **Edit to add: See separate post re: Vermont statutes** **found later.**",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "In my experience it's common to blame the sister-in-law or brother-in-law... it's a lot easier to put the blame on the clear outsider for whatever perceived \"slight\" that can be blamed for the blamer's bad behavior.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "Article excerpts (full article linked), similar stealing executor situation, (in MA, and not VT): After Lying and Embezzling from Her Mother’s Estate, Daughter is Jailed >*Ultimately \\daughter\\] was charged with two counts of larceny, two counts of perjury and two counts of embezzlement.* > >*\\[Daughter\\] was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years of probation. She must also pay restitution to other family members for the money she stole. Her husband was sentenced to 18 months in jail, but the majority of that sentence was suspended.* [What Happens When the Executor of the Will Steals the Money? Besides useful information, article mentions state laws specifying \"window\" during which other heirs can take \\legal\\] action against executor. Couldn't find what Vermont has to say about a \"statute of limitations\" on civil suit or criminal charges (if law allows) in such cases. Here's detailed discussion of laws governing misdeeds by executors of Vermont estates: [Living Well on Other People's Money ~~Can he be charged with a criminal act under Vermont statues? Not clear to me.~~ At the very least, consult with an attorney who specializes in probate/estate law, for expert guidance. Too much at stake, and it would be criminal in and of itself for your brother to get away with this egregious behavior. **Edit to add: See separate post re: Vermont statutes** **found later.**",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "wait wait wait. You knew about what had happened for a YEAR and you didn't tell anyone? Uh, Not a lawyer so I'm not sure what your liability is but I imagine that you accepted the fiduciary duty as executor when you accepted the role, YOU may be in jeopardy here seeing as you didn't move to rectify the situation immediately. You need to get ahead of this yesterday.",
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"content": "(Interstate) My brother gutted our mom's Estate Account via online transfer after the court had transferred the estate executorship away from him. Is this criminal embezzlement? I'm a little riled up about this and hope you all will bear with me if some editorializing makes it's way in... I'll try to keep it bare bones... My mother (in VT) passed away a few years ago and set my brother (based in CA) as the executor of her Estate which was worth a few hundred grand plus some other assets that required liquidating like stocks and jewelry. After two years of not filing needed paperwork with the Probate Court for various reasons, my brother agreed to transfer the executorship to me (based in CO) so I could close the Estate. After the Executorship transfer I tried ineffectually for a year to obtain all of the account, property, and tax documents I needed from my brother- which I take partial responsibility for, as I was at that point giving him every benefit of the doubt and making my requests verbally by phone and then repeatedly accepted the myriad reasons he was never able to come through. After almost exactly a year, at a follow up hearing by phone, the Probate judge explicitly told him to send me the info I needed. That same day my brother texted the account info for the Estate Account he'd set up and I went in to take it over later that week. Upon accessing the account I immediately learned two things had happened over the prior years: - My brother had utterly drained the Estate account (my mom's life savings plus her freshly sold property), direct depositing 1-3K to what I assume was his personal account every week or two via online transfer. - He continued doing so even after the transfer of Executorship, logging into the Estate Account and initiating further transfers at a noticeably accelerated pace and bringing the account balance to less than a dollar 3 months prior to that hearing and sending me the account info. Honestly, the whole thing threw me into a real depressed tailspin. I've now spent the last year agonizing over what to do next and feeling as though it's my family duty to protect my brother from the consequences of his actions though it means eating them myself. However during a recent (recorded) conversation with him, he was very clear in saying that he consciously and malevolently put me in this position as vengeance for years-old resentments he's held over an argument with my wife. He further stated that he turned the executorship over to me to begin with because I \"couldn't do it\" (which I believe means bring myself to document with the probate court his misuse of his position). At this point I'm done. I'm done waiting and stalling the Probate court and I'm done trying to rationalize his actions into my problem to fix. Obviously he have our issues but it never occurred to me that his apparent lack of integrity around money was consciously malicious. If he wants to argue or even fight with me he can always do so- he's my brother for chrissake- but to use my inheritance and my mom's last wishes as a weapon to attack me with is just too much. I'm now looking to bring whatever consequences he's earned home to roost and close the Estate along with this embarrassing chapter in our family's history. I'm hoping, but not expecting, that when the dust has settled he may even be willing to give being brothers another go. I'm fairly confident that the way he handled the money in the account while he was Executor is civilly actionable. However, my big questions is this: By accessing the Estate Account and transferring tens of thousands from it into his private account *after* stepping down as Executor/Administrator, did he also cross the line into *criminally* actionable? If so, what crime would this be considered?",
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"content": "Article excerpts (full article linked), similar stealing executor situation, (in MA, and not VT): After Lying and Embezzling from Her Mother’s Estate, Daughter is Jailed >*Ultimately \\daughter\\] was charged with two counts of larceny, two counts of perjury and two counts of embezzlement.* > >*\\[Daughter\\] was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years of probation. She must also pay restitution to other family members for the money she stole. Her husband was sentenced to 18 months in jail, but the majority of that sentence was suspended.* [What Happens When the Executor of the Will Steals the Money? Besides useful information, article mentions state laws specifying \"window\" during which other heirs can take \\legal\\] action against executor. Couldn't find what Vermont has to say about a \"statute of limitations\" on civil suit or criminal charges (if law allows) in such cases. Here's detailed discussion of laws governing misdeeds by executors of Vermont estates: [Living Well on Other People's Money ~~Can he be charged with a criminal act under Vermont statues? Not clear to me.~~ At the very least, consult with an attorney who specializes in probate/estate law, for expert guidance. Too much at stake, and it would be criminal in and of itself for your brother to get away with this egregious behavior. **Edit to add: See separate post re: Vermont statutes** **found later.**",
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"content": "(Denmark) A TikTok user is stealing my content and going viral, which could have consequences for my future career Hi! I spent a lot of time making these videos a few years back, where I took public access TV and edited it to death, to make it crazy, awkward and surreal. I never put ads on it or anything, because I used other peoples material but according to my management, what I did falls under both “fair use” and “remix”, because the original content is distorted to such a degree, that it became something entirely new. If you know Vic Berger, it’s kinda like that, but even more far out and specifically targeted for a danish audience. Anyway, the content never went super viral, but had a moderate cult following, which eventually led to me getting work with TV - so for me, it turned out to be super important, and helped me build my career. Lately, my stuff has started to go viral on TikTok though, as lots of people are uploading various clips from my channel, and presenting it as their own stuff. I have no problem with this, as long as they credit me, and in most cases it’s as simple as me asking them to do so, and everything is good. But now there is this one guy, who has become viral almost solely with content I made, and who refuses to credit me and instead insults me, and uses his following to make it look like I had nothing to do with the content. I figure the best way to go about this now, is to make a copyright claim, but this is where it all gets a bit weird, because the stuff I made, is “technically” not my own stuff, because it is made from other peoples material, whom I assume would be considered the “real” copyright owners - but it being public access TV, funded by the state, the rule in Denmark is actually that the actual TV-programs, before I edited them, is public domain - but to my understanding, I would own the rights to the “remix” (being the clips I posted). So yeah, this is where I’m at. I’m pretty sure the rules for copyright on TikTok are the same all over the world, so I was hoping someone here could help me. How do I go about this? Thank you in advance!",
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"content": "Regardless of whether or not your work was fair use, you still own any creative work you did on top of the original source. In the same way game youtubers own the content they record of themselves playing without owning the copyright to game content underneath. You can file a copyright claim at https://www.tiktok.com/legal/report/Copyright?lang=en not sure how effective the response is on Tiktok but if it's anything like youtube their channel will suffer for getting copyright claimed.",
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"content": "(Denmark) A TikTok user is stealing my content and going viral, which could have consequences for my future career Hi! I spent a lot of time making these videos a few years back, where I took public access TV and edited it to death, to make it crazy, awkward and surreal. I never put ads on it or anything, because I used other peoples material but according to my management, what I did falls under both “fair use” and “remix”, because the original content is distorted to such a degree, that it became something entirely new. If you know Vic Berger, it’s kinda like that, but even more far out and specifically targeted for a danish audience. Anyway, the content never went super viral, but had a moderate cult following, which eventually led to me getting work with TV - so for me, it turned out to be super important, and helped me build my career. Lately, my stuff has started to go viral on TikTok though, as lots of people are uploading various clips from my channel, and presenting it as their own stuff. I have no problem with this, as long as they credit me, and in most cases it’s as simple as me asking them to do so, and everything is good. But now there is this one guy, who has become viral almost solely with content I made, and who refuses to credit me and instead insults me, and uses his following to make it look like I had nothing to do with the content. I figure the best way to go about this now, is to make a copyright claim, but this is where it all gets a bit weird, because the stuff I made, is “technically” not my own stuff, because it is made from other peoples material, whom I assume would be considered the “real” copyright owners - but it being public access TV, funded by the state, the rule in Denmark is actually that the actual TV-programs, before I edited them, is public domain - but to my understanding, I would own the rights to the “remix” (being the clips I posted). So yeah, this is where I’m at. I’m pretty sure the rules for copyright on TikTok are the same all over the world, so I was hoping someone here could help me. How do I go about this? Thank you in advance!",
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"content": "Have you contacted TikTok directly?",
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"content": "(Denmark) A TikTok user is stealing my content and going viral, which could have consequences for my future career Hi! I spent a lot of time making these videos a few years back, where I took public access TV and edited it to death, to make it crazy, awkward and surreal. I never put ads on it or anything, because I used other peoples material but according to my management, what I did falls under both “fair use” and “remix”, because the original content is distorted to such a degree, that it became something entirely new. If you know Vic Berger, it’s kinda like that, but even more far out and specifically targeted for a danish audience. Anyway, the content never went super viral, but had a moderate cult following, which eventually led to me getting work with TV - so for me, it turned out to be super important, and helped me build my career. Lately, my stuff has started to go viral on TikTok though, as lots of people are uploading various clips from my channel, and presenting it as their own stuff. I have no problem with this, as long as they credit me, and in most cases it’s as simple as me asking them to do so, and everything is good. But now there is this one guy, who has become viral almost solely with content I made, and who refuses to credit me and instead insults me, and uses his following to make it look like I had nothing to do with the content. I figure the best way to go about this now, is to make a copyright claim, but this is where it all gets a bit weird, because the stuff I made, is “technically” not my own stuff, because it is made from other peoples material, whom I assume would be considered the “real” copyright owners - but it being public access TV, funded by the state, the rule in Denmark is actually that the actual TV-programs, before I edited them, is public domain - but to my understanding, I would own the rights to the “remix” (being the clips I posted). So yeah, this is where I’m at. I’m pretty sure the rules for copyright on TikTok are the same all over the world, so I was hoping someone here could help me. How do I go about this? Thank you in advance!",
"role": "user"
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[
{
"content": "Regardless of whether or not your work was fair use, you still own any creative work you did on top of the original source. In the same way game youtubers own the content they record of themselves playing without owning the copyright to game content underneath. You can file a copyright claim at https://www.tiktok.com/legal/report/Copyright?lang=en not sure how effective the response is on Tiktok but if it's anything like youtube their channel will suffer for getting copyright claimed.",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "(Denmark) A TikTok user is stealing my content and going viral, which could have consequences for my future career Hi! I spent a lot of time making these videos a few years back, where I took public access TV and edited it to death, to make it crazy, awkward and surreal. I never put ads on it or anything, because I used other peoples material but according to my management, what I did falls under both “fair use” and “remix”, because the original content is distorted to such a degree, that it became something entirely new. If you know Vic Berger, it’s kinda like that, but even more far out and specifically targeted for a danish audience. Anyway, the content never went super viral, but had a moderate cult following, which eventually led to me getting work with TV - so for me, it turned out to be super important, and helped me build my career. Lately, my stuff has started to go viral on TikTok though, as lots of people are uploading various clips from my channel, and presenting it as their own stuff. I have no problem with this, as long as they credit me, and in most cases it’s as simple as me asking them to do so, and everything is good. But now there is this one guy, who has become viral almost solely with content I made, and who refuses to credit me and instead insults me, and uses his following to make it look like I had nothing to do with the content. I figure the best way to go about this now, is to make a copyright claim, but this is where it all gets a bit weird, because the stuff I made, is “technically” not my own stuff, because it is made from other peoples material, whom I assume would be considered the “real” copyright owners - but it being public access TV, funded by the state, the rule in Denmark is actually that the actual TV-programs, before I edited them, is public domain - but to my understanding, I would own the rights to the “remix” (being the clips I posted). So yeah, this is where I’m at. I’m pretty sure the rules for copyright on TikTok are the same all over the world, so I was hoping someone here could help me. How do I go about this? Thank you in advance!",
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{
"content": "Is this other creator located in the US?",
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{
"content": "(Denmark) A TikTok user is stealing my content and going viral, which could have consequences for my future career Hi! I spent a lot of time making these videos a few years back, where I took public access TV and edited it to death, to make it crazy, awkward and surreal. I never put ads on it or anything, because I used other peoples material but according to my management, what I did falls under both “fair use” and “remix”, because the original content is distorted to such a degree, that it became something entirely new. If you know Vic Berger, it’s kinda like that, but even more far out and specifically targeted for a danish audience. Anyway, the content never went super viral, but had a moderate cult following, which eventually led to me getting work with TV - so for me, it turned out to be super important, and helped me build my career. Lately, my stuff has started to go viral on TikTok though, as lots of people are uploading various clips from my channel, and presenting it as their own stuff. I have no problem with this, as long as they credit me, and in most cases it’s as simple as me asking them to do so, and everything is good. But now there is this one guy, who has become viral almost solely with content I made, and who refuses to credit me and instead insults me, and uses his following to make it look like I had nothing to do with the content. I figure the best way to go about this now, is to make a copyright claim, but this is where it all gets a bit weird, because the stuff I made, is “technically” not my own stuff, because it is made from other peoples material, whom I assume would be considered the “real” copyright owners - but it being public access TV, funded by the state, the rule in Denmark is actually that the actual TV-programs, before I edited them, is public domain - but to my understanding, I would own the rights to the “remix” (being the clips I posted). So yeah, this is where I’m at. I’m pretty sure the rules for copyright on TikTok are the same all over the world, so I was hoping someone here could help me. How do I go about this? Thank you in advance!",
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[
{
"content": "Once you have edited something to that extent and it has become an original work and your intellectual property. The actual editing work is also your intellectual property",
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[
{
"content": "(Denmark) A TikTok user is stealing my content and going viral, which could have consequences for my future career Hi! I spent a lot of time making these videos a few years back, where I took public access TV and edited it to death, to make it crazy, awkward and surreal. I never put ads on it or anything, because I used other peoples material but according to my management, what I did falls under both “fair use” and “remix”, because the original content is distorted to such a degree, that it became something entirely new. If you know Vic Berger, it’s kinda like that, but even more far out and specifically targeted for a danish audience. Anyway, the content never went super viral, but had a moderate cult following, which eventually led to me getting work with TV - so for me, it turned out to be super important, and helped me build my career. Lately, my stuff has started to go viral on TikTok though, as lots of people are uploading various clips from my channel, and presenting it as their own stuff. I have no problem with this, as long as they credit me, and in most cases it’s as simple as me asking them to do so, and everything is good. But now there is this one guy, who has become viral almost solely with content I made, and who refuses to credit me and instead insults me, and uses his following to make it look like I had nothing to do with the content. I figure the best way to go about this now, is to make a copyright claim, but this is where it all gets a bit weird, because the stuff I made, is “technically” not my own stuff, because it is made from other peoples material, whom I assume would be considered the “real” copyright owners - but it being public access TV, funded by the state, the rule in Denmark is actually that the actual TV-programs, before I edited them, is public domain - but to my understanding, I would own the rights to the “remix” (being the clips I posted). So yeah, this is where I’m at. I’m pretty sure the rules for copyright on TikTok are the same all over the world, so I was hoping someone here could help me. How do I go about this? Thank you in advance!",
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[
{
"content": "Is this other creator located in the US?",
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[
{
"content": "Paid a patent attorney a $6500 retainer and, in one month, they went through the entire retainer and almost doubled it - I got a monthly invoice for ~$12k. Is it normal for law firms not to alert their client once the retainer is depleted? Basically wondering if this is normal or if I should question why I wasn't told to expect to pay double. This is my first time using a patent attorney, so genuinely asking if I should just pay the bill or if I should question this because it is a lot of money, and I kind of didn't expect to get that large of a bill in one month. The invoice did include an FTO search charge for $3000 they had to outsource. Thanks in advance for any opinions/insight.",
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] |
[
{
"content": "OP, that's not an unusual amount for drafting and filing a nonprovisional utility patent application in the US. I typically quote a flat fee of $12-15k for that, but also set forth how much prosecution is likely to cost and how the fees will occur over time - remember, filing is just the first step, and it typically takes 2-3 years to get a patent, depending on the area of technology and whether you take other steps to expedite it, whether you go to appeal, etc. But if you have any questions about the bill, talk to your attorney and find out what the full estimate will be, what your retainer has covered, etc. The nice thing about patent prosecution, unlike litigation, is that it tends to be relatively predictable - we deal with hundreds of cases simultaneously, so we get very used to how much an \"average\" bill should be.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | true |
[
{
"content": "Paid a patent attorney a $6500 retainer and, in one month, they went through the entire retainer and almost doubled it - I got a monthly invoice for ~$12k. Is it normal for law firms not to alert their client once the retainer is depleted? Basically wondering if this is normal or if I should question why I wasn't told to expect to pay double. This is my first time using a patent attorney, so genuinely asking if I should just pay the bill or if I should question this because it is a lot of money, and I kind of didn't expect to get that large of a bill in one month. The invoice did include an FTO search charge for $3000 they had to outsource. Thanks in advance for any opinions/insight.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "In the future ask lawyers for a budget or estimation of fees for the entire case. Sometimes that has little connection to the retainer.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | false |
[
{
"content": "Paid a patent attorney a $6500 retainer and, in one month, they went through the entire retainer and almost doubled it - I got a monthly invoice for ~$12k. Is it normal for law firms not to alert their client once the retainer is depleted? Basically wondering if this is normal or if I should question why I wasn't told to expect to pay double. This is my first time using a patent attorney, so genuinely asking if I should just pay the bill or if I should question this because it is a lot of money, and I kind of didn't expect to get that large of a bill in one month. The invoice did include an FTO search charge for $3000 they had to outsource. Thanks in advance for any opinions/insight.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "OP, that's not an unusual amount for drafting and filing a nonprovisional utility patent application in the US. I typically quote a flat fee of $12-15k for that, but also set forth how much prosecution is likely to cost and how the fees will occur over time - remember, filing is just the first step, and it typically takes 2-3 years to get a patent, depending on the area of technology and whether you take other steps to expedite it, whether you go to appeal, etc. But if you have any questions about the bill, talk to your attorney and find out what the full estimate will be, what your retainer has covered, etc. The nice thing about patent prosecution, unlike litigation, is that it tends to be relatively predictable - we deal with hundreds of cases simultaneously, so we get very used to how much an \"average\" bill should be.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "Paid a patent attorney a $6500 retainer and, in one month, they went through the entire retainer and almost doubled it - I got a monthly invoice for ~$12k. Is it normal for law firms not to alert their client once the retainer is depleted? Basically wondering if this is normal or if I should question why I wasn't told to expect to pay double. This is my first time using a patent attorney, so genuinely asking if I should just pay the bill or if I should question this because it is a lot of money, and I kind of didn't expect to get that large of a bill in one month. The invoice did include an FTO search charge for $3000 they had to outsource. Thanks in advance for any opinions/insight.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "The retainer isn't the max you'll pay. It's just a way to ensure they can get paid for at least initial required. Things come up and they cost. You're free to question it, but it's rare it's going to be $ back in your pocket. You can have a discussion about the plan nad costs of it.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | false |
[
{
"content": "Paid a patent attorney a $6500 retainer and, in one month, they went through the entire retainer and almost doubled it - I got a monthly invoice for ~$12k. Is it normal for law firms not to alert their client once the retainer is depleted? Basically wondering if this is normal or if I should question why I wasn't told to expect to pay double. This is my first time using a patent attorney, so genuinely asking if I should just pay the bill or if I should question this because it is a lot of money, and I kind of didn't expect to get that large of a bill in one month. The invoice did include an FTO search charge for $3000 they had to outsource. Thanks in advance for any opinions/insight.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Not a lawyer, 15 years in academic tech transfer as an in house patent paralegal. Whether the charges are reasonable or not really depends on what you had them do. A provisional patent usually runs $1-7k, but it's only good for a year. And the cost is highly dependent on the content of the filing. Whether it's just a cover sheet or a PCT/Non-provisional ready filing. A PCT/Non-provisional can run $10-20k depending on claims and area. And that's just to file, not to prosecute. And wouldn't include prior art searching and drawings. If you filed Non-provisional, you should have a reprieve for a bit with your first office action being several months to a year out. Plan on budgeting $5-10k for response to office actions as well. And anticipate having around 3 office actions over the course of prosecution. But could be more. As others stated, it's not a quick process. And it can be very expensive. There are other firms with different fee structures. Make sure you're not paying attorney time for work that should be done by a paralegal. You can transfer your file to a different firm if you need to. It's important to have an attorney or patent agent that operates in the area of your invention. This cuts costs on the attorney learning curve. You don't want an IP attorney who focuses on chemistry if your invention is in electrical engineering. Overall, the cost so far isn't alarming. But definitely review your bills closely. You can push back on expenses that seem unreasonable. Or if some work appears that it could have been done by a junior attorney or paralegal and was billed at the partner rate. And definitely ask for a fee sheet. In the end, anticipate spending a WHOLE lot more. And prepare yourself that your patent application could also be denied. This is where having a good attorney do a review of the claims before making a decision to file is worth it. It's a sunk cost but can save you tens of thousands in the long run if there's no patentability or freedom to operate. Just because something is patentable, doesn't mean you should file. Good luck!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "Paid a patent attorney a $6500 retainer and, in one month, they went through the entire retainer and almost doubled it - I got a monthly invoice for ~$12k. Is it normal for law firms not to alert their client once the retainer is depleted? Basically wondering if this is normal or if I should question why I wasn't told to expect to pay double. This is my first time using a patent attorney, so genuinely asking if I should just pay the bill or if I should question this because it is a lot of money, and I kind of didn't expect to get that large of a bill in one month. The invoice did include an FTO search charge for $3000 they had to outsource. Thanks in advance for any opinions/insight.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Are you getting a utility patent or a design patent? That's reasonable for a utility patent.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | false |
[
{
"content": "Our neighbor constantly files frivolous complaints against us. We purchased a home and moved in in February, since we have moved in, our neighbor has filed 2 animal control complaints (one for excessive noise on our 2nd day moving in and another saying we leave our dogs outside in the rain without shelter-both are untrue). Animal control came to verify our dogs situation but could not do anything about the noise complaint stating it was he said, she said. They have also filed 2 HOA complaints: 1) we continuously walk our dogs without a leash-untrue 2) we put up a sunshade in our back yard and they filed saying we installed an AWNING and modified their house saying we installed it to their house which is untrue. We didn't touch their home or attach anything to their home. The HOA refuses to show us proof of any of these complaints and automatically takes their side. We have gotten to the point of already wanting to move and do not enjoy being in our home because the neighbors cause so much anxiety that if we do anything, they'll file a complaint. Is there anything we can do?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Time for blink cameras and an attorney. Also would suggest moving out if an HOA subdivision. They're a bunch of tight knit biddies who have the desire for drama. Talk with an attorney and see what you can do about filing harassment charges. The cameras will help to prove their lies. Set the cameras up somewhere so they cannot see them but still captures everything. I have the blink 5pack cameras w 2 doorbells on batteries bc of my lunatic neighbors (night vision is great). They've come in handy more than once. The footage syncs to a zip drive to preserve the recordings. Well worth the money imho.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | true |
[
{
"content": "Our neighbor constantly files frivolous complaints against us. We purchased a home and moved in in February, since we have moved in, our neighbor has filed 2 animal control complaints (one for excessive noise on our 2nd day moving in and another saying we leave our dogs outside in the rain without shelter-both are untrue). Animal control came to verify our dogs situation but could not do anything about the noise complaint stating it was he said, she said. They have also filed 2 HOA complaints: 1) we continuously walk our dogs without a leash-untrue 2) we put up a sunshade in our back yard and they filed saying we installed an AWNING and modified their house saying we installed it to their house which is untrue. We didn't touch their home or attach anything to their home. The HOA refuses to show us proof of any of these complaints and automatically takes their side. We have gotten to the point of already wanting to move and do not enjoy being in our home because the neighbors cause so much anxiety that if we do anything, they'll file a complaint. Is there anything we can do?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Read the CC&R and bylaws of your HOA to understand your rights. You have rights as well to respond to complains. Also, start to get friendly with some of your HOA board. This may help you down the road if things get more heated.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | false |
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