private function addResponses()
    {
        // workaround for $this being unavailable in closures
        $plugin = $this;

        // basic response
        $this->addResponse('/i (love|<3) (you|u)/i', function($matches) { 
            return 'Shutup baby, I know it!'; 
        });

        // matches things like "bot: you're the greatest thing ever!" and saves the attribute for later
        $this->addResponse('/(you are|you\'re) (the |a |an )*([\w ]+)/i', function($matches) use ($plugin) {             
            $plugin->addAttribute(trim($matches[2] .' '. trim($matches[3])));
            return "No, *you're* {$matches[2]} ". trim($matches[3]) .'!';
        });

        // matches things like "bot is amazing!" and saves the attribute for later
        $this->addResponse('/is (the |a |an )*([\w ]+)/i', function($matches) use ($plugin) { 
            $plugin->addAttribute(trim($matches[1] .' '. trim($matches[2])));
            return "No, *you're* {$matches[1]} ". trim($matches[2]) .'!';
        });

        // responds to things like "who is bot?" with a remembered attribute
        $this->addResponse('/(what|who) (are you|is)/i', function($matches) use ($plugin) {
            return "I'm ". $plugin->getRandomAttribute();
        });
    }