Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards 406
l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."
My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:2)
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:5, Informative)
My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:5, Funny)
1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.
What the fuck?
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:4, Informative)
While popular religion often presents the idea that early Christians all believed the coming of Christ would be immediate, this is actually explicitly refuted in the Bible in II Thessalonians 2:1-3.
Jesus did state that the kingdom of heaven would come "in this generation" (his generation, not ours) (Mark 9:1, Matthew 24:34), but He also taught that the kingdom was not of this world (John 18:36) and was "within you" (Luke 17:20-21). Since the Bible later identifies the kingdom as the church, refers to Christians already being a part of the kingdom in the past tense rather than future (Colossians 1:13), describes Christ as presently serving as King rather than serving as King in the future (Acts 2:33, Hebrews 12:2), and describes Christ as returning the Kingdom to the Father at His second coming rather than establishing the Kingdom at that time (I Corinthians 15:24), it seems that the prophecy of Christ of the coming of the kingdom referred to the establishment of the church, rather than to His coming at the end of time.
Finally, both Christ (Mark 13:32) and His apostles (I Thessalonians 5:2) stated that noone knew the time of His coming and that it would be without warning, like a thief in the night. Thus, while I and II Thessalonians indicate that many early Christians may have misunderstood, a properly educated 1st century C.E. Christian holding to the doctrine of the second coming as taught by Christ and His apostles would have recognized that the day might or might not come in the immediate future.
That said, you did get a laugh out of me.
;) Hope you found the Bible info informative and that addressing a serious response to a joke doesn't bug you. (That's how I learned everything in high school physics; the teacher addressed serious responses to my jokes.)
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:5, Funny)
Even more clearly, Futurama 1:12 clearly states that the second coming of Jesus will be in 2443 (though apparently he will be a Zombie).
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:3, Informative)
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:3, Interesting)
The story was told from the viewpoint of a ship full of human space explorers, who kept coming across planets that were paradises, and the inhabitants attributed this to a holy man in the recent past who had taught them how t
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:5, Interesting)
===
From: torva...@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Linus Benedict Torvalds)
Date: 5 Oct 91 05:41:06 GMT
Subject: Free minix-like kernel sources for 386-AT
[...]
I can (well, almost) hear you asking yourselves "why?". Hurd will be
out in a year (or two, or next month, who knows), and I've already got
minix.
[...]
===
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:3, Funny)
/* forever.c- FIXME: This file is not completed yet */
#include <stdio.h>
int main ()
{
printf ("Duke Nuke 'em Forever v0.001 Alpha Release\n");
return 0;
}
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:3, Insightful)
If HURD gets the vaporware award, then you get the dumbass award.
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:3, Insightful)
My first incarnation of EKP was a simple monolithic kernel and if I stuck with it I
Where? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Where? (Score:5, Interesting)
If you look very closely at some of the photos in Creative Computing or Compute! you'll see that the alleged 1450XLD had a nameplate on it calling it a 1250XLD. My guess is that there was another earlier project that was canceled, and since they didn't have any of the new ones ready, they used photos of the old one.
Apparently there were a few 1400XLs that got out, but there's as rare as an 815.
Your proposal (Score:2)
Your proposal is acceptible.
SysRq has its usage (Score:3, Informative)
I've seen it used. Google sysrq and you fill find plenty of things that use it.
Re:Where? (Score:2)
Or Pause/break. I haven't touched that key in years... since ctrl-break actually did something.
Sarge (Score:4, Funny)
Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.
(But I still want it now!)
Re:Sarge (Score:3, Informative)
I do consider it 'released' as it was released the day it was created. It's been there for download & use for years.
While it's labelled "testing", and woody is the current "stable" in reality I find very little difference between the two. Both have been rock solid for me, although Sarge has had issues of the kind where a config file changes and there's unexpected behaviour, or a package will be updated from version 1.0 to 1.2 and change its behavio
Re:Sarge (Score:2)
Of course, what you probably meant was that you want it to be finished with potential breakage from updates. I want that, too.
-- A.
Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:2)
They probably said something like "We could scale this chip up to 3GH by the end of the year if needed." Which ment something like "If you build a new fab, and invested BILLIONS of dollars we could probably get this thing up to 3Ghz."
At least we have a G5 laptop though
Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:4, Informative)
That was the whole point.
Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:2)
Scaling up an existing processor doesn't always mean building a new fab. Most of the time, an existing fab is modified. Even then, the modifications might be minor: new masks, new steps, etc.
Increasing the numbers of chips usually invovles a new fab. Sometimes chip comp
Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:2)
Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:2)
Steve fessed up to it (Score:3, Interesting)
Then he some convoluted explaination that they were getting faster at a faster rate %wise than intel which was a confusing statement since both chip makers increased speed by the same # of mhz..
Oh well..
Wired lied! Our chip met its speed spec. (Score:2)
We promised a 2GHz MIPS chip, and we not only hit it, we passed it almost immediately with a 2.5GHz MIPS. With a fast math processor built in.
Unfortunately, the market didn't care. 8^(
But we made our promised speed *and* release date.
So Intel, Apple, and Wired can all kiss my giga til it hertz!
Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:2)
the iTunes issues are purely a legal snag. nobody can tell what will happen when a bunch of lawyers go at it....... well we can guess time delays will happen. the technical aspect of opening iTMS in another country/region is minimal. if Apple sells online there, they could set up the store in no time.
it seems most of Apple's delays are component shortages. they try to keep things under wraps so they do not fall prey to other glitches. i guess in the past they also would try to time releases for MacWorlds o
What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:5, Interesting)
Even if I was mistaken on #10 I still would like to hear what you all think.
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:2, Insightful)
As I've always understood it, "Vaporware" refers to products that do not exist, and are thus all "vapor" and hype. Once you show a demo or have a working model that does what you claimed it would do from the outset, it ought not be called Vaporware, even if it has been delayed.
DNF is a great example, since after a decade we havn't even seen a working demo, a gameplay video, or even any (recent) screenshots. I think labeling products as "vaporware" when they are just late is a bit unfair. Many product
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:3, Insightful)
No. Anybody can fake up working model and/or show a rigged demo. Even an officially-released product is technically vaporware until it ends up in the hands of at least one customer.
~Philly
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:2)
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:4, Informative)
Wired!! (Score:2)
Yes, I am Karma whoring. (Score:5, Informative)
Longhorn (Score:3, Interesting)
Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!
Re:Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
No. Honestly. A friend works work them and he assures me they'll be handing out the awards real soon now.
This years winners are.. (Score:2, Insightful)
Also special commendation on "How to build a website almost rivaling Geocities in how horrible it looks like" -award goes to Wired!
Kind of sad: Alienware?!? (Score:5, Insightful)
--
Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.
Re:Kind of sad: Alienware?!? (Score:2, Informative)
I always thought that vaporware implied that the product either didn't exist, or wasn't even close to shipping. So taking a product from non-existent to shipping in 3 days is quite a feat.
Then again (and it surprised me to see a definition for this already) Merriam-Webster defines vaporware as a new computer-rel [m-w.com]
Re:Kind of sad: Alienware?!? (Score:3, Informative)
Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:3, Interesting)
Also could be fit in the "vaporware" realm some of their claims, i.e. the "safe" feature is strongly attached to any of their products, be windows 95, internet explorer from the firsts versions, office, servers, etc).
Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:3, Informative)
There's a difference, though. The Year Of Linux On The Desktop(tm) is something that users and pundits keep predicting, not something any one company, or even any group of companies, is promising. In fact, there are a number of distros which meet the requirements for a usable desktop OS, and this has been the case for a couple of years now; if these fail to live up to people's inflated expecta
Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:2)
Based on user submissions, eh? (Score:2, Insightful)
IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT
who cares...
Award for Default Secure Windows? (Score:2, Funny)
I don't get why Intel and Apple are on the list (Score:3, Insightful)
Unlike Duke Nukem Forever, they were both going into uncharted waters, and it's really no surprise that they didn't make it to their destination as fast as they had wanted to....
Elite 4 (Score:2)
What is it about the unlucky version 4? Duke Nukem 4ever -- Elite 4(ever)? Maybe version 4 should be skipped entirely by software developers.
Four is unlucky... IN JAPAN! (Score:2)
Maybe version 4 should be skipped entirely by software developers.
A Japanese word for "four" is shi, which sounds like the word for "death". Japanese fear of four [tripod.com] seems to parallel American fear of thirteen, where American casinos often do not offer any gambling on the unpopular thirteenth floor of a building.
Re:Elite 4 (Score:2)
Microsoft did. Windows 3.11 to Windows '95, anyone?
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
That's it, I'm switching to Linux.
Re:Elite 4 (Score:3, Informative)
In Microsoft's case, I suspect it was just a bad association with the number 4 from the old DOS days (remember DOS 4? Remember being told to stick with 3.x and wait for 5.x?),
Re:Elite 4 (Score:4, Informative)
Virus and Virus 2000 showed a lot of the phenominal mind of David Braben, with impressive graphics and a complex realistic flying system.
In addition to that, he's one of the VERY few coder/designer/CEOs who ALSO are willing to spend the time answering people's questions on USENET. He also ran a survey to see if there was interest in a Linux version of Elite, at the request of fans. That kind of response is rare, but very much appreciated.
Unfortunately, Braben's promises of Elite 4, the debacles over Frontier and FFE, the failure to market Virus 2000 in the US, allegations that he was involved in the killing-off of the clone "Elite: The New Kind", alleged harassment of Ian Bell over his Elite website, etc, suggest that there is a less welcome side to his character.
Most of these are beyond fixing today. Elite 4 is not. But people won't remember the Elite series forever. There's only so big a timeframe to operate in. If he needs help, ideas, support, whatever - that's fine, we can all understand that, but he's not going to get any of those if he doesn't ask, and he might well not get as good as is there, if he's seen as secretive and hostile.
Elite 4 is vaporware, right now, and one of the worst examples of it. If it's done right, though, AND released, it could be a serious killer app in the games market. Even if it's "perfect" and the ultimate product ever written, nobody is going to care if they can't ever see it.
Radeon x800 Mac Edition... (Score:2)
Duke Nukem Forever? (Score:2)
DN4 would be nice, but I'm still waiting for a *working* copy of BattleCruiser 3000 AD.
Working being the operative word here.
In other news.... (Score:2, Funny)
*) Time is relative
P.S.: There are rumours that if you buy two, you will get the Phantom console for free.
Vaporware? (Score:5, Insightful)
They were *really* stretching to get this list to 10
... I guess things are pretty good in the world of vaporware given the bottom 3.
Re:Vaporware? (Score:2)
It's not the failure to delivery by 500 Mhz -- or, in other words, make a product more than 20% faster than their current high-end -- it's the grandiose promise in conjunction wtih the sheepish failure to deliver that makes Apple in particular deserve that vapor award.
#1 Phantom spotted at CES (Score:3, Informative)
Link to Story [theinquirer.net]
'Phantom' is more than just a physical machine. (Score:5, Informative)
Showing a physical unit off at the CES is like showing a MMORPG without any multi-user support -- it might look pretty, but it's missing the core feature that's supposed to make it special.
Re:#1 Phantom spotted at CES (Score:3, Informative)
The article does mention that the Phantom was part of a display for Windows Embedded Devices [microsoft.com], which I guess means someone at Microsoft has seen this thing running, but it still seems a little suspicious to me.
Alienware and 4MHz Pentium (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Alienware and 4MHz Pentium (Score:2, Funny)
It is official: Amiga is dead (Score:2)
When Amiga can not even produce vapourware, the legend is gone.
WMD ? (Score:2, Funny)
Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! (Score:5, Insightful)
My guess is that the owners of 3D Realms have enough money where they just don't give a rat's ass.
Does anyone here actually work for 3D Realms?! What's going on over there?!
Re:Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! (Score:2, Informative)
And here's an Engine Demonstration [fileplanet.com].
Re:Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! (Score:3, Interesting)
so yes, they still are working on it. this is no excuse for the length of delay (nearly 10 years now), but you have to keep in mind what duke3d was. it was not just another typical FPS. in fact, it had more going on than the first half-life did really. there was the shrink ray, freeze ray, jet pack, pipe bombs, etc. etc.
the engine is actually a very very minor part of it. when duke3d fir
Re:Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! (Score:3, Interesting)
Practically everyone who owned/played the original would buy it. And it would whet our appetite for the new game.
Irony (Score:5, Funny)
cheap iPod (Score:2)
ATX X800 Pro (Score:2)
SCO Group's Evidence? (Score:4, Insightful)
After nearly two years and Darl McBride's claims of "mountains of code" you'd think they'd have shown something by now.
--
It works. [wired.com]
Free Flat Screens [freeflatscreens.com] | Free iPod Photo [freephotoipods.com]
Re:SCO Group's Evidence? (Score:3, Funny)
Cairo filesystem (Score:2)
And had been rehashed in WinFS, now due Q42006.
CherryOS is real, just stolen (Score:2)
>We will probably see a cure for death before we see
>a true platform emulator," said Tony Lunde. "It's still
>a pretty interesting idea, though."
Where do they find these people?
Cairo (Score:2)
How about Cairo, the be-all-end-all everything's-a-relational-database now-it's-winfs now-it's-not information-at-your-fingertips OS from Microsoft? Jim Allchin has tried (and failed) to build this thing many, many times. Since WinFS has been dropped as a Longhorn feature, it looks like it's still not time for Cairo...
Where is SCO? (Score:3, Insightful)
Gran Turismo (Score:2)
1.) The regular new gran turismo version. Probably won't make it in March 2005, I'd say May.
2.) The online version in 2006.
They are milking it for money.
Vaporware Shmaperware! (Score:2)
SCO "proof" is the biggest vaporware (Score:5, Insightful)
Intel lower on list than Apple? (Score:5, Funny)
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8.....
Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?
Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.
Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.
The John Kerry Administration (Score:3, Funny)
We can also add Saddam's WMDs to the list.
You troll you. (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:You troll you. (Score:2)
If by antiquated, you mean "has legible text", so be it! It is antiquated in a good way, like Google is. "Modern" trends like lavender letters on maroon backgrounds leave something to be desired.
You troll you!
Re:Say what you will about /. design... (Score:2, Funny)
Talk about vaporware! Interestingly enough, the site has news of a new Buckaroo Banzai book coming out. Where's "Buckaroo Banzai vs The World Crime League"?!!! That's got DNF beat by an order of magnitude!
Re:My favorite quote: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:My favorite quote: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My favorite quote: (Score:2)
Re:TivoToGo (Score:2)
TiVoToGo Has Arrived!
So you want to transfer your recorded programs to your PC so you can watch them anywhere, right? Done! As part of your regular paid TiVo service subscription, all TiVo Series2? boxes -- except those with DVD recorders -- will be automatically updated through a scheduled rollout process to include TiVoToGo?, a brand-new home media feature only available with TiVo service! Remember: you'll need to have your TiVo box connecte [p0.com]
Re:x800? (Score:5, Informative)
Also, we didn't jump through any special hops to get these cards, we just placed an order with a local computer store, like any Joe Blow is able to do.
Re:I resent this! (Score:2)