Question: I'm writing a blog post about the impacts of an autoimmune disease. The sentence I'm trying to construct looks like this:

"The disease importunately follows me around like a god damn..."

I'm struggling to come up with something better than "... Puppy who lost his ball."

Any suggestions? The cruder, the better. A pop culture reference would be awesome!

I'm stuck.

Answer: 
I'm not quite getting the emotional effect you're shooting for. The disease follows me around like a:

* bad memory.
* black cloud.
* stain on my soul.
* poison in my veins.
* sad, needy child demanding my attention.
* wad of gum on my shoe - always sticking, dragging me down.
* broken heart.
* note pinned to my sleeve telling me I'm different and will never be quite whole again.
* Sheldon going "Penny, Penny, Penny."
* an unhealing wound hidden under my clothing constantly oozing pus.

There's no end to the options.
I suppose you could say, "The disease follows me around...

* like a moth drawn to a flame. (pretty cliche)
* like a crazy ex. (also cliche)
* like a bloodhound tracking down a stag.
* like a mosquito/Great White/vampire
drawn to blood.
* like a curse/nightmare that reminds me everyday of my terrible luck/life.
* like the soul of a dead man who swore upon his
deathbed that he would haunt me until I meet my demise and take my
rightful place in the underworld." (only if you want to be *super* dramatic)

Depending on the context and if you are willing to reword the sentence a bit, you could describe the disease as a scar. Sorry, none of these are entirely crude, but I hope they at least help you come up with something far better than my tired mind could. I'll write anything else I come up with. Good luck!