Question: I've been freelancing since June 2013 and haven't been able to find work in all that time.

I'm very short on funds so I'm sticking to free online classifieds but I haven't had so much as a nibble from any of my ads.

I've got a facebook page and twitter account that I'm relatively active on, but I'm not getting any likes/follows... My website is also SEO'd up the wazoo and despite getting dozens of hits daily, I'm not getting any business...

I'm offering software development services using the Microsoft .NET Framework (both Visual Basic and C# programming languages) and web design/development using asp.NET, wordpress, php, jquery, css3, html5, etc.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Answer: 
You can make an agreement with a salesperson and offer them a portion of profit. This is a lot easier and you can concentrate on your work rather than social relations. 

Main advantage of this approach is you won't promise a profit to someone which you don't have, so it is better than hiring a salesperson. It may seem a little bit "I am doing all the work, why would I share my profit" but being able to attract customers, have a good relation with them, getting feedbacks and most importantly convincing them is actually a talent and takes time.

Convincing part is most important because as you are a freelancer, you probably won't have some kind of contract. And some customers tend to give up at the end of the project, start to request many nonsenseble things to delay pay date. An experienced salesperson is usually good at managing these type of things, because he/she will do this for also himself/herself.

Finally, it has a motivation part, you will feel like a team and will be able to more projects.
I would say that you started on the right track. Asking questions on discussion boards gets you acquainted with peers in the freelancing world that could give you suggestions and possible project referrals - which you can make intelligent choices from. 

If you've never started on any freelance project before, the challenge lies on what you could possibly show your potential client to have enough confidence in you to do the work. Yes, your skills maybe impeccable and you could commit yourself to an excellent output. However, you're going to have to show something to your prospects to prove it. Your communication and interpersonal skills [during an interview or a meeting] would come in handy. If you cannot impress them with the skills in your profile, then get their trust with how you present yourself in a discussion. Clients would love to hear more about what you can do in details.

The suggestion to start building your reputation on a freelancing platform can help, too. Create a profile on popular freelancing channels and bid on a job advert you believe you could make wonders at. A lot of clients in those platforms are willing to give "entry-level" freelancers a chance. I'm sure you've told to be careful about bidding on projects though. Yes, usually, clients will have a brief background of what they are about on their job adverts. Platforms like Elance and oDesk also show how far they are within the site: how many contractors they have hired, how much they paid, and how trusted their are as described in their feedback comments and scores. You'll pretty much have an idea who you want to work with. 

And as you said, you already have your website up and running (optimised and all), a little more perseverance is strongly suggested. You can't just be all over the World Wide Web as it's way too big for you. Discover where your kind of expertise hangs around and stay with them for a while until you get prospects. Listen to what your peers talk about by saving a few links to blogs, social media profile, and discussion boards. This will not only help you find prospects but will also update what you think you already know.