Question: I didn't see a related or similar question, but if you can find one, please link it and I'll close this.

**Background**

I had little experience in high school and college and learned some of my skills later. My first two serious girlfriends were in my twenties and they both cheated. From this I realized I didn't enjoy serious relationships, so I've avoided them. I have always been honest about this with people I date: "I'm just having fun and don't want this to ever get serious." This is my way of making it clear so that if the person wants "something more" - like marriage - they can move on faster. I just want to have fun - hang out, party, etc with the expectation that we'll be together for a few months with no intention of it leading to cohabitation or marriage.

I live in the US and am about to be 30.

My latest three dating experiences have ended with the other person upset about the relationship not becoming more serious, even though I made it clear that I would never get serious with the person.

*Example:*

> 
> Me (initially): I don't do serious relationship; no boyfriend/girlfriend - just hanging out and having fun together.  
> 
>  Her (initially): Great, I'm not looking for anything serious either. 
> 
> 
> 

> 
> Her (later): So we've been seeing each other for a few months ... [or some derivative that usually starts a conversation about where is this going, even though we both agreed initially "nowhere"].
> 
> 
> 

**Problem**

When I meet someone to date, how can I communicate clearly that I am **only** interested in a casual/short-term dating relationship, such as dating for a few months by doing fun activities, going to parties, attending concerts, etc?

Answer: 
Short term dating relationships are just that *short term.* Meaning that regardless of how you try to frame it, you can only push them so long before people want or expect more.

I applaud your being honest about your intentions, telling people upfront what you're looking for is a good first step, but then you have to be willing to follow through and keep the relationship short. 

There's no black and white rule for how long you'll be able to ride one of these situations out before feelings develop, so if it seems like people are getting more attached than you're comfortable with after a few months, you may want to keep things more in the few weeks range.

As an aside I would advise you to get over your fear of being cheated on. It's better to have loved and lost n' all. [Also while dating like this can be fun for a while, it very often gets harder as you get older.](https://youtu.be/ruR4uI8Ift8)
First, the assumptions. 

* When you say "short term dating relationship" I'm assuming you mean acting as BF and GF, including physical intimacy.
* You are not currently in this situation, you are looking toward the next one

It is not unseemly for her to want to renegotiate the terms as her feelings evolve over time. You are free to do the same. "You cannot look twice at the same river; for fresh waters are ever flowing in." Your job now is to work with her in the negotiation, while being respectful of her feelings.

That is to say, getting mad and saying "We had a deal" isn't the right approach [1]. Be aware that proximity, shared experiences, and physical intimacy often do spark those deeper feelings. It's by far the more common pattern than what you proposed to her. Do not be surprised. I mean heck, many people either consciously or not, date like this as ... well ... "tryouts" for long-term mate compatibility.

**So ... what should you do?**

First, introspect a little. How *do* you feel about your reluctance to have longer relationships, fall in love, and so on? Do you feel like you have some healing to do? If not, not, but do ask the question.

Second, your approach seems ... like kind of a hard sell. It would not be hard to hear it as "I want to have fun with you and then discard you". Another poster suggested that you desexualize it and just *make friends* with women. Do a lot of group activities. I really do think you'll have trouble finding women who want the deal you're proposing. I could be wrong.

[1] Unless you are both huge Star Wars geeks. If I told a girl "We had a deal" and she snapped back "I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it any further" she would **own** my heart for all time. ;D