Question: Does anyone have any book recommendations on EM and RF which integrates a simulator? 

I find EM/RF to be interesting fields which I want to get some overview of but given that it's very applied in nature I'm finding doing hand calculations on paper to be incredibly boring and uninteresting.

I think I would be more motivated if there was a book which focused on integrating the use of simulation software since all interesting problems are essentially intractable by hand.

Any recommendations on learning material with a very applied/simulation based flavor?

Answer: 
RF is a skill with many levels of training and experience. After all the fundamentals of basic B Sc/ MSc EE training. It takes a few years of R&D application experience with the best simulation and test instruments all of which are above personal budgets unless you live in luxury. 

Your expectations must be defined by prerequisites of theory and experience. The costs of such simulators will be equal or more than a year's salary and so will each test equipment. The training is not free either but these resources are available from Ansys, Keysight etc ...<https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=EM+and+RF+which+integrates+a+simulator%3F>
RF wasn't intractable by hand when I went to school. Amplifiers, matching networks and antennas were all done by hand.
Smithcharts and algebra are pretty much all you need for 90% of it. 

After that put your proposed circuit into LTspice or other favorite simulator.

After you have something built, measure it with a network analyzer to see if the S parameters match your hand and sim calcs.

[RF Circuit Design](https://www.google.com/books/edition/RF_Circuit_Design/MGriBQAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=RF%20Circuit%20Design&printsec=frontcover) by Chris Bowick is a great book to learn from.

[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/K7nJu.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/K7nJu.png)