Question: i am settingup a new server, i want to use and want to connect sql, nodejs witout using xampp. 

i have tried to install phpmyadmin but it is not working. CMD prompt also needs phpmyadmin

Answer: 
PhpMyAdmin runs using PHP, Apache and MYSQL, be sure to install all of these before trying to install it.

Although, considering you're not going to use PHP, you might check for alternatives using node or being pure software so you don't have to install anything else.
Well to run phpmyadmin you need php engine like apache so if Xampp is your problem then you might want to use other apache stacks like wamp or check [this out](https://www.zyxware.com/articles/5139/how-to-run-phpmyadmin-without-apache-only-using-the-php-built-in-web-server)