Question: I think I have a problem and I want some advice from parents; I think there is no one better to talk to. I have already talked to my dad and mom, but that was not very helpful.

My problem is, I'm 20 years old, and I date a girl who is 3 years and 10 months younger than me, and somehow, there is a lot of resistance from her stepfather about our relationship. We know each other and became friends, for six months we have spent lots of time together and with our friends. Her mom and stepfather knew everything and had no problem with it, but we started liking each other, and then I have became her boyfriend, here the problem began.

She told her mother about us, and then her mother told to her stepfather, and he is very angry about it and now he prohibited us from seeing each other. I tried to talk to him, but he avoids the subject. We have both been very careful in our conversations, but five months have passed and he is still pissed.

I really love her, we are very good friends. We dont have problems with each other, and her mom help us sometimes, lying to her stepfather that she is going out with friends that doesn't include me. Yesterday her stepfather said to her that if she was lying she would be in trouble.

I live in Brazil, go to university, have a nice job for my age. I've never had a girlfriend before, I'm not the kind of guy who like to date girls just for fun if it doesn't seems to lead to a concrete relationship, however, I look OK to me, but not to him.

The fact is, I dont know how to get through to him with words and make him more confortable about us. If you a are father or mother maybe you could help me with this. I've been worried for several days and I'm looking for answers all over the internet. Sorry for any language mistakes.

**Update:** What I want to know is what you, fathers and mothers, expects from us, sons in law, who wants to have a relationship with your daughters.

**Update:** Her stepfather is 10 years older than her mother.

Answer: 
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> What I want to know is what you, fathers and mothers, expect from us, sons in law, who want to have a relationship with your daughter.
> 
> 
> 

Patience, empathy, and more patience.

Your young lady is approximately 16, if I did the arithmetic right. Her step father may feel that spending a lot of time with someone older will push her into a different stage of life prematurely. He may want to give her the gift of a full childhood.
It's not about having a relationship, it's about having a relationship with someone the right age. A 20 year old should be pursuing girls who are **at least** 18 years old, and I think you might know that's the stumbling block here. And saying you think he sounds jealous doesn't sound like the whole truth either, if you're really trying to understand the father.