Question: I find myself using these words *all the time*. 

Now (<-- there's one!), to be clear the context I'm using them is in conversational style writing, on social commentary, or in forum posts like these. It's not formal academic writing, and it's not story telling. (In a fictional story, these words would be perfectly appropriate if used by a character). 

Here's an example where I've used it recently:

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> Point four, I think it is realistic that people would have this interpretation. **So** on this point I'll just stress that this blog post is not intended to be malicious or make anyone feel bad. It's more an interesting exploration of social interaction and how best react and navigate it. 
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My question is - is this actually an effective writing style, in the sense of being easy to read and persuasive, and if not, how do I get around it?

Answer: 
While I agree with the technical points that Nathaniel and Dale make, in that it does soften the tone of what is said, I don't think it is something that should immediately be avoided. 

To me that is akin to telling a carpenter to avoid using a chisel. 

I imagine a carpenter spends a good deal of time learning how to efficiently use a chisel. I'm sure they understand subtle differences in use in ways that we simply wouldn't notice. But we are capable of seeing the result. 

As a writer we have a rather different set of tools at our disposal. We have nuance, timing and metaphor, to name a few. A good writer understands the difference between 'So, this is my opinion!' and 'This is my opinion?' Both will be equally persuasive when used for the right point towards the right audience. 

As a writer it is your job to get a feel for those words, to understand which is the most appropriate for the piece you're writing. It takes a good deal of time to learn that skill. But personally, that is what I find so fascinating about writing...
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> My question is - is this actually an effective writing style, in the sense of being easy to read and persuasive, and if not, how do I get around it?
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Regarding ease of reading, it's a wash. These types of words can add a friendly tone but they also make the text less concise.

Regarding persuasion, they reduce the effectiveness. That's because at best they are noise and at worst they are read as qualifiers. Qualifiers push text and speech in a "softer" direction where they allow more interpretation and are less assertive. More blatant qualifiers (e.g., "in most cases" or "ideally") can come across as signals of dishonesty.

While it might seem that softening your point is a way to gently invite the reader to consider your view, it's better to actually present a nuanced viewpoint with assertive, affirmative language than it is to weaken the statement of a more basic viewpoint.

Overall, conciseness shows respect for the reader's time. In expository writing, it's almost always more effective. In fiction, there are reasons to add what might otherwise seem to be "noise", with the caveat that you can still risk losing the reader's attention and excitement.

You get around it by simply reviewing what you've written and deleting all such words and phrases. Keep cutting until you can't remove a word without taking away from the core statement you are making.