Question: I've been freelancing since June 2013 and haven't been able to find work in all that time.

I'm very short on funds so I'm sticking to free online classifieds but I haven't had so much as a nibble from any of my ads.

I've got a facebook page and twitter account that I'm relatively active on, but I'm not getting any likes/follows... My website is also SEO'd up the wazoo and despite getting dozens of hits daily, I'm not getting any business...

I'm offering software development services using the Microsoft .NET Framework (both Visual Basic and C# programming languages) and web design/development using asp.NET, wordpress, php, jquery, css3, html5, etc.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Answer: 
I had similiar issues in my freelance Resume service back when i was running it. My answer would be to check out Guerrilla Marketing for free.

My other suggestion would be, Pound The Pavement. If you can create software and webdesign, start hitting up small businesses.

Restaurants? Create a "package deal" where you would create a small website that lists their location, menu, fun facts, etc. Offer in the package to include them on yelp and other social sites. If it's relevant (ie: delivery, reservations) offer to create an app, (if you are able) for them for those types of services.

Local sportscard/Comic Book/ etc... offer a website package that can link to a database that would have their items on hand. You could even create a "barcode" program that would link to their database and autopost on the website.

Heck, if you have time, pull up their website, redesign it, and then take in your mock up to the owner and tell them what you can do. I've found that small biz owners need tangible proof their website is horrible compared to a pro's.

My only warning would be: DO NOT WORK FOR THEM FOR FREE, NOR OFFER STRICT DISCOUNTS.

They'll say "you already made the site" why not give it to me for half. Advise them that's just visual, and doesn't have code needed to run properly.
I'm seeking software development work -- all types *except* .NET -- on job boards. I seem to be inundated with potential clients that *you* could service. (I cannot because I have no experience with .NET.)

As you haven't mentioned **job boards**, I think they could be your answer: workopolis, monster, linkedin, craigslist, etc.

If you become active on some of the job boards, you *will* be approached by agencies/recruiters about contract work.

And there's the meta search job sites -- indeed, eluta, simplyhired, etc -- that search the web for you. They too will find agencies/recruiters having contract work.