Question: There has been a very toxic person to the community of a multiplayer Minecraft server I'm a moderator on (I'll call them Mr Toxic from now on). Apart from using really irritating cheats (the cheats that Mr Toxic used really broke the game for other users) they have caused shitstorms on a multitude of different chats and insulted a lot of people (including staff and players).

Now, they're barred from ever joining our server. But the day after the ban, a new player appeared (let's call them Mr Newbie). However usual it is, the player quickly "developed" an interest in Mr Toxic. They have also exhibited simply too much knowledge for a new player they were posing as.

Yesterday the new player has made a mistake of unconsciously and indirectly confirming they are an alternate account of Mr Toxic (technical details skipped but we're 100% sure). On my first thought, I should ban the new Mr Newbie.

That being said, Mr Newbie is much nicer and is not cheating. I can sense the same style of talking, but different attitude towards others. Now they're an active member of the community. If they were not the same player, I'd have no reason to ban them.

How can I address Mr Newbie/Mr Toxic about this to ensure that they do not misbehave anymore?

Just for the record, we're hosting a community of 20 active players, 20 less active players and about two hundred players in total.

There is also a [question](https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/22030/multiplayer-game-nice-fake-account-of-toxic-player-community) about addressing the community.

Answer: 
In cases where you have to tell someone things that they probably don't want to hear, these are the principles that I generally try to abide by, and they have served me well.

* Be clear but not unkind. Try not to leave the door open for her to misinterpret the situation.
* Avoid lying or making excessive or elaborate excuses.
* Remember that you are allowed to set and enforce your boundaries!
* You are not required to justify or explain why you don't want sex (although you can give your reasons if you want to).
* Don't try to 'soften the blow' or avoid conflict by allowing her to think it *might* happen between you when you know that is not what you want.
* Let her know your expectations in advance, so she knows she is agreeing to a platonic visit only before she solidifies her plans.

In this case you might want use words like, "I'm happy to have you visit *as a friend*" and "My *guestroom* is always open to you." You may also decide to tell her that while you would greatly enjoy her company, you're seeing someone else now. She does not need to know the details or exact nature of your new relationship unless you wish to tell her-- honesty without oversharing is the goal here.

Avoid getting into situations that send mixed signals. Don't do things that appear to be leading to a possible romantic encounter, like drinking heavily together, cuddling on the couch, etc. If you want to be just friends, keep things on a friendly level and enforce your boundaries firmly but kindly as needed.
I've never been in your position with someone that I previously had a physical relationship with, but I have had the need in the past to make it clear to someone that when they are staying over, sex is not on the table. The way I have done this is to mention the sleeping arrangements when telling them they can stay over. It doesn't need to be elaborate, just a simple

> 
> Yeah, I have a spare bed/couch that you can sleep in.
> 
> 
> 

This makes it pretty clear that things will be staying platonic. I've used it a few times and never had sex even brought up once the night happened.