# embeddings_queue

created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2415
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The fact that you're reaching out for help here is really helpful.The first thing I would suggest is that you consider seeing a local mental health professional yourself to be able to talk about the details, how this is affecting you, and how you can hold onto you are while also being supportive to you husband.From the way that you describe this, I wonder what has changed since coming home from the hospital. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your husband this and mention that you are asking him questions to learn more about his experience and you can discuss how you notice that things were going much better when he came home from the hospital, and now things are not as good. Perhaps he can tell you about what is different so that you may know him would be most helpful to him.I also hope that you husband is still continuing with his own treatment.There may also be a local peer support telephone number for the county that you live in that they be able to help you determine whether your husband needs more immediate treatment if he is feeling hopeless again. There are national crisis telephone numbers listed below as well.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2416
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I don't think it's appropriate to give your counselor a bottle of wine. Your counselor helped you and supported you, which is great, But a gift is inappropriate. I can understand that you want to show your gratitude. There are many other ways to do that. You could drop your counselor a note or card, thank him in person, or tell him how much he helped you. These small gestures can be very meaningful for both of you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him something special with my country's name on it, and I remembered that he likes wine. My country is known for that. Is it appropriate to give him wine as a gift after Christmas?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2417
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Oh, crying in therapy is very normal! I have a stack of kleenex boxes in my office. Cry away, therapist are very used to it:) First time being in therapy is scary, but you'll soon know if you are a good match.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I start counseling/therapy in a few days (I'm freaking out) but my main fear is that I'll cry and embarrass myself, is it something to worry about?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2418
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Anxiety can cause such a feeling of discomfort in our bodies that it can seem unbearable. The concern that I can hear in what you have written is that the thought of having some anxiety has now left you uncomfortable with any anxiety at all - and that can become a problem, indeed.\u00a0As opposed to thinking about your anxiety as something much bigger than you, it could be helpful to start breaking it down. What are the things specifically that cause you anxiety about this new job? Is it being away from your family? If so, why?\u00a0Once you start breaking down what causes you to feel anxiety into smaller \"mouthfuls\", then we are far better able to understand what has led to discomfort and start to problem solve the issue.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2419
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a \u201ccry for help,\u201d however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It\u2019s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts.\u00a0With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself. \u00a0Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, \u201cput your oxygen mask on first.\u201d Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSWkayla@nyccounseling.com", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2420
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The short answer is yes - if you feel 'really guilty after a night of drinking', then you probably have a problem. What you could do is visit this website by the National Institutes of Health:\u00a0http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/How-much-is-too-much/ \u00a0There you will find information on how many drinks is too much, and the general answer for women is more than seven drinks in a week. There is also a quiz you can take anonymously that will help you determine if your drinking is a problem. The good news is that you can get help for substance abuse through counseling, self-help programs, or alcoholics anonymous.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a female in my mid 20s.  Lately I tend to over drink and I've become a very angry drunk. \r\n\r\nIn the past, I have even cheated on my boyfriend while I was under the influence of alcohol. \r\n\r\nBut now, even if I don't do anything wrong and don't embarrass myself, I still feel really guilty after a night of drinking. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Does this mean I have a problem?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2421
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow.\u00a0Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. \"How are you doing today?\" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. \"I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me.\" Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know.\u00a0If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2422
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I get how you feel; you wish your body looked different and you're embarrassed that you tried to make it look different and people may notice.\u00a0You don't say how old you are. It's likely that, if you are young, your body will change as you mature, but in general, we're given the bodies we're given and I'm glad to see that there may be a desire in you to accept your body the way it is. You seem to want to stop disguising it. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes and every woman knows how it feels to struggle with accepting what her's looks like. Many men go through this as well, although women are more often targeted with cultural messages about how we're supposed to look.\u00a0Young people often believe that others are noticing and judging them. In fact, other people are far more preoccupied with who might be judging them than whatever's going on with you.\u00a0I suggest you wear whatever bra you want to wear, and if someone is rude enough to comment on it, you can ignore them and talk about the weather or the latest pop song that you love and they'll get the hint. But my bet is they won't even notice. :)", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "On the first day of school I wore a bra that was too big so that it would look like I had bigger boobs.  I did that the whole school year and my parents never found out. But now I can never hang out with my friends at my house or invite them over because it would be around my parents and my friends would see there is nothing there on my chest. \r\n\r\nHow do I fix this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2423
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Human attractions can be tricky things, and in this case - a power dynamic. In the workplace, a boss usually has the power to hire, fire, set schedules, approve vacations, and evaluate performance. Because of this power dynamic, most employee handbooks expressly forbid supervisors and their direct employees being in a romantic relationship. Perhaps you should check your employee handbook. \u00a0It is possible that if you or your supervisor act on your feelings, one of you might have to be reassigned, or if no reassignment is available, asked to resign. While you may be attracted to your boss, and your feelings may be strong, it might be in your best interests to resist acting upon them.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been suppressing it for quite some time, but there are days when I can't make eye contact with her. I think she knows, and we both admitted there was some type of vibe, but the overall discussion was vague. I think she could possibly be dating someone that works with us. It's driving me crazy. As an act of expression, I have purchased a gift for her that's personalized. I haven't given it to her yet."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2424
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, this emotional abuse. \u00a0There is no abuse without emotional abuse. \u00a0His abuse is demeaning and can have lasting negative impact on your perspective of your self and people around you. \u00a0Please find someone support to talk to. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My dad is always, and I mean always, cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2425
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The good news is your awareness that being violent to animals feels out of character for you. \u00a0\u00a0I'm glad you have awareness and I'm glad you are not at ease with killing frogs.Fairly likely that you were acting out aggressively toward the frog, feelings of being on the receiving side of similar type of violence.Basically, you did unto the frog what someone has or to you, feels like, has been done to you.Use your surprising finding of how strong your anger and most likely inward pain. \u00a0 Reflect on your closest relationships and how these people treat you. \u00a0 It is possible you feel more hurt by someone who is close to you than you ever realized.Stabbing innocent frogs is wrong. \u00a0It is understandable as a way to show you how much inner pain you probably have.It is also wrong that someone close to you hurt you.The direction to go is to recognize your pain and then decide how to go about changing what is possible on your side of that or those relationship(s).", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was with my friends fishing by a pond. I found a frog and stabbed it with my friend's knife. I'm not sure why I did it. My friends saw me do it it and were shocked and got really mad at me.\r\n\r\nNow if someone brings it up I get really upset and panicked. I don't know why I feel like this. Does this mean there is something wrong with me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2426
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. I am very sorry that you are struggling. I have a few thoughts and perhaps some of my colleagues will add something else. Depression and anxiety can both be chronic conditions, as you have experienced. This means that they may always require treatment in order to have some kind of relief from them. Treatment could mean medication or some kind of counseling. Some people may take medication for the rest of their lives. Some people may go to counseling at times when the depression and anxiety worsens. As you mentioned, sometimes the symptoms improve for a little while, but they can also come back. When they do, it is important to talk to your medical provider if you are getting medication, and/or to go back to your counselor and talk to them about the symptoms that have returned. Skin picking and some other behaviors are not uncommon for people who are experiencing something like anxiety. Many people report that they do this when they feel anxious, and some say it calms them down. It is not really a surprise that you are constantly trying to change things and even starting fights to do so. These are ways to try to avoid, escape and distract yourself from the feelings of anxiety and depression. That is a very normal thing to do. Nobody likes these feelings, and so distraction is something we naturally try in order to get rid of them. The problem is that things like distraction and escape do not work as a long-term solution. In fact, they usually make things worse for many different reasons. Depression and anxiety can\u00a0 be treated, but it is likely something you will need some help with. I would recommend finding a counselor who has experience with anxiety and depression. Medication can be helpful, but I still recommend counseling. The reason for this is that the medication can help with symptoms, while the counseling can address the symptoms and provide you with very helpful skills. Be well,Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm depressed often, and my mind goes a million miles a minute. Every once in a while, things are okay for a few days. After a bit, I start noticing that I am picking at my skin profusely. After roughly a week, the anxiety is back and still picking. Sometimes I find myself causing fights to have change."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2427
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First off, don't blame yourself or be too quick to jump to any scary conclusions. \u00a0Human sexuality can be incredibly complex at times (e.g., what turns us on at one time may not be what turns us on the next time).\u00a0There could actually be a number of things going on including him having performance anxiety...maybe he had a bad experience with a previous partner that's left him scared to try again (we call this operant conditioning). \u00a0It could also be that he puts you in a different category than previous lovers. \u00a0Sometimes I refer to this as the \"hooker-housewife mentality\" where a partner somehow gets the idea that when we truly fall in love, we treat that one differently; almost up on a pedestal. \u00a0Drives many partners crazy until they're aware that this is going on and give their boyfriend/ girlfriend permission to enjoy both the naughty and the nice with them.\u00a0It could also be that he's not even aware that he's not doing these things. If you haven't asked him yet, you might try gently approaching the subject when you're not already in the bedroom or trying to get in on and inquire what he most enjoys about sex with you (or has enjoyed in the past, or thinks he might enjoy). \u00a0You can also share your favorite highlights of sex with him. \u00a0Give him an ego boost and tell him what he does well while then asking him if he'd be down to go downtown. \u00a0\"Baby, it REALLY turns me on when you kiss me during sex.\"If you continue to get the impression that it's somehow only about YOU or that he's just really hesitant to talk about sex in general, you might see if he'd be cool to chat with a counselor who specializes in sexual intimacy.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend won't touch me intimately, he won't kiss me while we are having sex and he won't have oral sex with me. I know he has done this things with other women in the past. I don't know why he won't do them with me. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2428
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "We women really do tend to struggle with the comparison game. And Hollywood culture hasn't helped with romantic comedies and song lyrics telling us that when a man appears evasive, there's something to worry about.\u00a0It's been my clinical experience though that most women value transparency and security in their relationships. So you might try sharing a little bit more about your history with this woman. For example:Where did you meet her?How long were you friends before you decided to call it quits?\u00a0Why don't you want to be friends with her (i.e., what do you mean by \"kind of crazy\")? I promise this tends to matter to women.Were you ever intimately involved with or even attracted to her?If your girlfriend can truly see that you view her as the filet mignon to the other woman's hamburger, and that she is your favorite person on the planet and has NOTHING to worry about, she may start to come around.Now, IF she's more concerned that you might be taking this woman's calls behind your back, while I'm not typically a huge fan of sharing passwords or phone records, you might print them off and highlight this female's number and show your girlfriend that you absolutely are telling the truth.And if you really want to step it up, I would be intentional about doing all the little things that you know your girlfriend loves that helped make her fall in love with you in the first place (e.g., little love notes for her to find or sweet text messages, buy a rose or her favorite flower, have her car detailed, do the laundry...date nights...you get the idea). \u00a0Bottom line - show your girlfriend why out of all the women on the planet that you could be with, you CHOSE HER. \u00a0And would continue to do so all over again. \u00a0AND why you love HER as a person. \u00a0This will help her trust what you're saying.\u00a0Best of luck to you! \u00a0Tamara Powell, LMHC", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Over a year ago I had a female friend. She turned out to be kind of crazy so I decided to stop talking to her.  When she would call me I wouldn't answer the phone. This made my girlfriend really suspicious. She would ask me why I wouldn't ever answer that phone number. I told my girlfriend that I don't want to be friends with that other woman, but I don't think she believes me. How can I get my girlfriend to understand?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2429
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry for how you're feeling in your marriage lately. \u00a0Are you and your husband able to talk directly about your feelings? \u00a0The way two people connect is usually by talking with each other to understand what each one cares about and thinks.Your current emotional suffering is the natural result of being married to someone who shows no interest in doing this.If your husband wants to start talking with you, then there is a chance the two of you can reconnect. \u00a0If he doesn't want to participate in the relationship with you, then start to think if its possible and for how long, to get emotional support from friends and family who do care for you.Also a question for the future is to understand what the value of your marriage is to you besides having a connection to your husband.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2430
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It seems like you are very receptive of your husband\u2019s emotions and want to support him trough this time. \u00a0But it is also important of being aware of your emotions. \u00a0How are you feeling after the suicide attempt?\u00a0 It is common to experience negative feelings while you try to make sense of the incident. \u00a0Feelings like anger, shame, guilt and fear are frequent; while, wanting to avoid, minimize and become distant from the person are parts of the defense mechanism to attempt a quick resolution. \u00a0Once you understand and overcome those feelings you may be in a better position to help your husband; who may be experiencing some negative feelings as well.First, it is important to have a safety plan in place, which includes removing harming objects from the home, knowing who to call if there\u2019s a new attempt (either 9-1-1, or nearby treatment center), have a professional expert who monitors you and your husband\u2019s progress, either a Counselor or mental health provider could help you manage negative feelings and identify ways to handle triggering situations.Once the safety plan is in place, \u00a0make him feel supported and not judged, saying open ended statements, like: \u201cI am glad that you are here, please let me know what I can do to help you through this process\u201d.\u00a0 Making small changes toward a healthier living may help as well.\u00a0 Exercising, eating healthier and practicing new leisure activities may be good ways to start.\u00a0 Also, explore your spirituality and your husbands, looking for ways to encourage each other by joining a support group or finding people who share your spiritual beliefs.If you have more questions or concerns I offer teletherapy in the State of Texas, and traditional Counseling in Puerto Rico, call 787-466-5478.\u00a0\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo ayudar a mi esposo despu\u00e9s de un intento de suicidio?Despu\u00e9s de que el llego a casa del hospital estaba enojado, luego por un tiempo maravilloso.\u00a0 Ahora est\u00e1 deprimido y sin \u00e1nimos.Parece que estas muy atenta a los sentimientos de tu esposo, y que lo deseas ayudar durante este momento de su vida.\u00a0 Pero tambi\u00e9n es importante estar consciente de tus propias emociones.\u00a0 \u00bfC\u00f3mo te has sentido luego de este intento de suicidio? \u00a0\u00a0Es com\u00fan que experimentes emociones negativas mientras los recientes sucesos hacen sentido.\u00a0\u00a0 Sentimientos como coraje, verg\u00fcenza, culpa y miedo son comunes, y el querer evitar, minimizar o distanciarte son mecanismos de defensa igualmente comunes.\u00a0 Ya que comprendas y superes estos sentimientos,\u00a0 estar\u00e1s en una mejor posici\u00f3n para ofrecerle ayuda, recuerda que tu esposo tambi\u00e9n debe de estar experimentando sentimientos negativos.\u00a0Es muy importante tener un plan de seguridad, esto incluye remover todos los objetos que pueden ser da\u00f1inos o facilitar un futuro atentado, saber a qui\u00e9n llamar en caso de una emergencia (9-1-1 o una cl\u00ednica de emergencias cercana),\u00a0 tener un experto que monitoree tu progreso y el de tu esposo, puede ser un Consejero u otro experto de salud mental que te ayude a manejar los sentimientos negativos y situaciones retantes.Ya que el plan de seguridad sea activado, crea un ambiente donde tu esposo se sienta apoyado y no juzgado.\u00a0 Utiliza frases abiertas para comunicarte, dile que estas feliz de que este contigo, y quieres saber c\u00f3mo puedes ayudarlo durante esta etapa. \u00a0\u00a0Tambi\u00e9n haz cambios peque\u00f1os para mejorar su calidad de vida como pareja.\u00a0 Hacer ejercicios, comer m\u00e1s saludable y compartir actividades puede ser un buen comienzo. Explorar tu espiritualidad y la de tu esposo tambi\u00e9n puede ser de ayuda, y encontrar personas o grupos que compartan esos mismos intereses puede ser una manera de mantenerse motivados.Si tienes m\u00e1s preguntas o preocupaciones sobre el tema, ofrezco teleterapia en Texas y Consejer\u00eda Tradicional en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478 para m\u00e1s informaci\u00f3n.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2431
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Open and honest communication can go a long way in situations like yours. Your girlfriend may be suspicious if you don't give her enough information. Answer her questions fully. Ask for her suggestions as to how to handle this female friend. Ask for your girlfriend for help in getting the female friend to understand that you are not interested in continuing the friendship. If you are honest with your friend, your girlfriend will probably feel like you are being honest with her.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Over a year ago I had a female friend. She turned out to be kind of crazy so I decided to stop talking to her.  When she would call me I wouldn't answer the phone. This made my girlfriend really suspicious. She would ask me why I wouldn't ever answer that phone number. I told my girlfriend that I don't want to be friends with that other woman, but I don't think she believes me. How can I get my girlfriend to understand?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2432
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There are lots of things you can do, but first: Congratulations on your new job! \u00a0Commuting long distances can be stressful, but there are some things you can do.First, make sure that your seating arrangement in your car is comfortable. If you are driving long distances on a regular basis, you want to make sure that your body is in a comfortable position. Second, select some music or podcasts that work for you, rather than against you. Soothing music is good, as well as inspirational podcasts. Alternatively, listening to books can be a great way to spend the time, improve your mood, and find inspiration. Third, make sure that you have plenty of time for your commute. If the drive normally takes you 30 minutes, plan on 45 (or if it's 45 minutes, plan on an hour). This way you won't be rushed, can take your time, can focus on your driving, and if traffic is a bit backed up, you've got plenty of time to reach your destination.Finally, if you do find yourself being anxious in a way that impedes your driving, pull over to the side of the road, take some deep breaths, and sit with your feelings. Take a deep drink of water. Consider jotting your feelings down in a journal. If its safe, get out of the car and walk around a bit, stretching you muscles and breathing in the air.But most of all, be kind to yourself. I wish you much success in your new job.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2433
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Piggybacking on the other respondent's suggestions, I also agree that most couples could use more frequent and more bonding communication in their relationships, and this is a GREAT place to get the ball rolling towards reconnecting.Surveying the demographical data on long-term relationships, it's pretty common for couples to start to struggle around the 7-10 year mark and in fact, that's often when first time divorces happen. And for lots of reasons...most of them having something to do with beginning to take one another for granted and no longer doing the little things that nourish the relationship and light our partners up. \u00a0Seems like you've encountered this in your own relationship...where he appears to be neglecting your need for emotional connection with him.Doesn't have to be this way though. And from my own personal clinical experience, I can tell you that when even ONE partner is willing to make some small but powerful changes, they can often ripple outward to the other partner and bring about miraculous outcomes!\u00a0So my encouragement to you is this - if you're still in love with him...even a little bit...and you're down to try something new, there's hope! \u00a0As hard as it may be, I would ask you to try and focus on YOUR own side of the street when approaching him. Use an open and curious approach with him.\u00a0Ask him what he thinks he needs in a marriage.\u00a0What is it about you he fell in love with?\u00a0What helps him feel more fulfilled as a man and as a husband?\u00a0What little things that you have done over the years does he appreciate?\u00a0Like Sherry said, if you can get him talking, there'll be plenty to work with. We only need a spark to kindle a fire. If he can give you a list, you'll have a blueprint for getting him to reconnect with you and it opens the door for you to offer him little suggestions as well.By the time a couple reaches the point where you're at, there's usually very little fun going on. We've stopped enjoying one another's company. Try and think creatively about some shared experiences he might be willing to do. A picnic? Happy hour? Concerts, museums, cooking class, new sexual behaviors...the list is as infinite as you want it to be!\u00a0Some of my favorite suggestions for couples looking to understand how they got here and how to build their way out are:\"The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship\" (Ted Talk) by Esther Perel\"Getting Together & Staying Together: Solving the Mystery of Marriage\" by William & Carleen Glasser\"Divorce Busting - A Step By Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again\" by Michelle Weiner-Davis\"The Relationship Cure: a 5 step Guide to Strengthening your Marriage, Family, and Friendships\" by John Gottman & Joan DeClaire\"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work\" by John Gottman & Nan Silver\"The Five Love Languages\" by Gary ChapmanAnd of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't suggest that if you're open to the idea, maybe some individual and/ or couples counseling could be helpful too.My very warmest regards to you,Tamara Powell, LMHC", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2434
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Anxiety often occurs when big or unexpected changes come to our lives, like having new jobs, relocating, or assuming new roles. Notice if your anxiety feels like excitement, concerns, or fear.It seems like you are excited about your new job, but worried because OTHERS are telling you that you have anxiety.\u00a0\u00a0 Let's notice how other\u2018s input is affecting your thoughts and maybe causing more anxiety that you may really have. \u00a0\u00a0If you are indeed experiencing anxiety, that does not mean that you will have panic attacks.\u00a0\u00a0 But if you are experiencing panic attacks, or suffer them at some point, you could learn how to reduce them either with therapy or medication.You can learn how to process it depending what triggers it and channel it, in a useful way.\u00a0 For example, you could plan a schedule around your new job and be meticulous about it because you are worried about how your new job may affect your routine, or, you could feel overwhelmed with your schedule, focus on the feeling, but not do anything about it.\u00a0 Notice the difference?\u00a0 The key is in recognizing if you are anxious about something that you can change or have control over it, and take action if you do, and recognizing when you cannot control things and be OK with not being in control.I teach clients how to use meditation and cognitive reframing techniques to help calm anxiety symptoms.\u00a0 If you are interested in engaging in counseling or teletherapy you may contact me at 787-466-5478.I wish you success on your new journey!Estoy preocupada por mi nuevo trabajoLa gente me dice que tengo ansiedad y estoy aterrorizada de tener un ataque de p\u00e1nico en la carretera.\u00a0 Esto es nuevo par a m\u00ed. \u00bfQue puedo hacer?La ansiedad ocurre com\u00fanmente cuando llegan cambios grandes o inesperados en nuestras vidas, como tener un nuevo empleo, mudarse o asumir nuevos roles.Al parecer est\u00e1s emocionada por tu nuevo trabajo, pero preocupada por que OTROS te dicen que tienes ansiedad.\u00a0 Notemos como la opini\u00f3n de otros esta influenciando tus pensamientos y tal vez te puede estar causando m\u00e1s ansiedad de lo que realmente tienes.\u00a0 Si realmente estas pasando por un periodo de ansiedad, no es necesario que vayas a experimentar ataques de p\u00e1nico.\u00a0 Pero si ya los haz experimentado puedes utilizar terapia o medicamentos para controlarlos.Nota si tu ansiedad se siente emocionante, preocupada o temerosa.\u00a0 Puedes aprender a procesar estos sentimientos dependiendo que pensamiento los causen y canalizar la ansiedad de manera productiva.\u00a0 Por ejemplo: te puedes enfocar en organizar una agenda porque te preocupa como tu nuevo empleo afectara tu rutina diaria.\u00a0 O te puedes sentir agobio respecto a c\u00f3mo tu trabajo afecta tu rutina, y no hace nada m\u00e1s que preocuparte constantemente.\u00a0 \u00bfNotas la diferencia?\u00a0 La clave est\u00e1 en saber cu\u00e1ndo te preocupas \u00a0por algo que puedes cambiar, y tomar acci\u00f3n; vs. cuando te preocupas \u00a0por algo que no puedes cambiar y aceptar que no lo puedes cambiar.Le ense\u00f1o a mis pacientes a\u00a0 usar t\u00e9cnicas de meditaci\u00f3n y re enfoque cognitivo para manejar s\u00edntomas de ansiedad\u00a0 y desorden de p\u00e1nico.\u00a0 Si te interesa una cita de consejer\u00eda o tele-terapia me puedes contactar al 787-466-5478.\u00a0\u00a1Mucho \u00e9xito en tu nueva jornada!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2435
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Usually when someone asks if they have a problem, they believe they do have a problem!The first step is to understand your own theory and definition as to what problem you feel you have. \u00a0Some possibilities are feeling unhappy in the relationship to your boyfriend, not having enough discussion between the two of you, not feeling cared about by your boyfriend, not liking your boyfriend.Did you grow up in a family in which the grownups drank to the point of excess at the times they felt stressed?Family modeling of how to handle problems may have left you no knowing how to handle stress except to drink to excess.Ask yourself what it is you feel guilty of doing?The guilt may point you in a good direction if it is your sense of self-esteem telling you to find better ways of managing your life.Do you drink alone or together with friends?Try defining your specific reasons for drinking because this is the first step to know how to handle the situation differently.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a female in my mid 20s.  Lately I tend to over drink and I've become a very angry drunk. \r\n\r\nIn the past, I have even cheated on my boyfriend while I was under the influence of alcohol. \r\n\r\nBut now, even if I don't do anything wrong and don't embarrass myself, I still feel really guilty after a night of drinking. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Does this mean I have a problem?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2436
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Two paths are possible.You're not overreacting and instead are genuinely sensing that something feels unsettled within your girlfriend.You are overreacting because you have difficulty accepting how safe and loving your relationship is with this person.The only way to find out is to start conversations with your girlfriend on how you feel.This will allow new light to open an answer as to the truth.Once you know what truly is going on between the two of you, your self-trust naturally will grow stronger.\u00a0Self-trust will give you an accurate read of what and whom you are able to safely trust.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been with my partner for 4 years. She's given me no reason not to trust her. But lately I've been overreacting a lot when she's just doing normal things. I think it's triggering my bad past relationships.\r\n\r\nHow can I get rid of these insecurities and be more trusting with her?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2437
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I can think of several things that may help you to reconnect. I don't know how much time you actually spend together, but one thing you could try is to spend 15 minutes a week together talking about common interests or other things that make you feel connected.Have you considered a date night or anything (doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but could make each of you feel special)?Something else you could try is to consider talking to each other in a way where you summarize what you are hearing and reflect back to make sure that you got it right rather than just assuming so. Communicating this way can feel awkward at times, but it could reconnect how you are listening and deeply connecting with your partner. Also, you may discover that you are on two different pages about things on which you thought you understood what each other felt, wanted, or desired.Consider what makes your partner feel loved, valued, appreciated, or special. Can you name a few things and get them right according to your partner when you check in? Can he do the same for you?You could also try doing two things every day that would be appreciated by your partner without either of you having to ask for it. There is some more information here, although what you do for one another does not necessarily need to be on this list:\u00a0http://www.couplesinstitute.com/tracking-success-by-doing-the-daily-double/Reconnecting is a bit of a process. Try to praise yourself and your partner for attempts that you make and recognize that you're not going to get it right 100% of the time. You may also find this book to be helpful (or there are other similar ones by the same author):\u00a0https://smile.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1471479801&sr=8-1&keywords=Love+languagesIf this still seems difficult, consider seeing a local mental health professional. As one more thought, recall that this relationship involves both of you. If you are both committing to change your level of connection, change will likely not be a steady uphill climb (there could be plateaus or even some dips back in a negative direction) and each of you may change at a different rate.Best wishes in your quest for connection!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2438
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like this would be difficult at times, particularly if you feel misunderstood.You may or may not know that we all have chemicals in our brain. We also have different sections of our brain that become active when different things happen. There is a part of our brain where a lot of our emotions originate that is also designed to protect us when we are going through things that have been physically or emotionally painful in the past, and when that part of the brain is sometimes overactive (perceiving threat when there is no actual threat at the time), sometimes anxiety can develop. This doesn't necessarily mean that everyone has an anxiety disorder, but often if we are afraid of something that is not actually a legitimate concern (for example, most insects are not going to hurt me, but I still do not like them very much), we have anxiety about it.The first thing I thought of when I read your question is that perhaps some part of your brain are overactive. I did find an article that may be helpful to you, but I just want to caution you. Not everything listed here applies to you. Also, the article uses the term \"brain anomalies.\" This does not mean that there is something majorly wrong with your brain. While I cannot tell you exactly what is happening, I'm asking you not to panic over the term and to just consider that perhaps some of the chemical reactions in your brain may be a little overactive, which may be able to be corrected with medication or something similar. I can't tell for certain from what you posted whether or not this is what is happening, but I would recommend that you either talk to your primary care physician or a therapist or psychiatrist.Here is the article:\u00a0http://blogs.psychcentral.com/addiction-recovery/2012/09/too-much-empathy/When you meet with your doctor or a therapist, please try to convey how much this is affecting your life.Thank you so much for posting here and I wish you the best.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I empathize so much, even with characters on tv or in video games, that I actually feel physical pain. This has made life difficult to say the least.\r\n\r\nI believe I have an actually case of something called hyper empathy disorder. But since it's such a new disorder I can't find any information about it. Could this be what is going on with me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2439
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Teenagers are prone to mood swings due to developmental and hormonal changes that are rapidly and intensely occurring in your body and mind - so some of this happens to many people in your stage of development. You are not at all alone.You've taken the first and very important step in regulating your moods by just identifying that you are having these intense changes instead of being completely submerged in them and unaware! The more you are able to be a witness to your emotions and thoughts, the more you can learn to manage them. Your question offers several clues for strategies that you can try - for example, identify the warning signs for becoming irritated and plan a response, such as taking a deep breath, informing the person you are becoming irritated and need some space, or find a distraction temporarily like listening to music or going for a walk. Since you are aware of blaming others for things not working out, you can proactively make a personal commitment to taking ownership or personal responsibility by just thinking about it and practicing thoughts such as \"I am responsible for my efforts\" and \"Blame is not helpful for anyone\" and other thoughts that you believe and can repeat related to this insight. When you practice thinking more rational, healthy thoughts, you are actually rewiring your brain, so practice is key!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a teenager and I get these really intense mood swings. \r\n\r\nMy mood will be really high and I'll think of something that I want to do. When I start to make it happen I get irritated by other people if they intervene. Then if the thing I wanted to do doesn't work out, I have these tendencies to blame other people for it not working out. \r\n\r\nCan you explain what's going on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2440
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There is nothing wrong with going to summer school.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "It's the way my mom said I was worth nothing, stupid, no point of being in school. I'm \"lazy little fat.\""}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2441
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sometimes it's helps to have a name for a problem - it can make you feel less alone as in, \"oh there's a name for this and other people have this experience too.\" On the other hand naming the problem can also make it stick around longer as in \"now I have a special problem that has a special name, and that's an important part of who I am.\"Bottom line, whether it's a disorder or not, you would like life to be easier and not have to be pulled so much by other people's energy and feelings. You might want to try imagining that you have a volume dial on your empathy (just like the volume dial or button on the tv) that you can gently turn down to the point where you still feel what's going on but it's not so \"loud\". You can also try imagining pulling your own energy back as if you were drawing your energy back home to the center of your own body and being, letting go of the other people or characters that pulled your energy out so far. This is a way create better boundaries and protect your own vulnerability. Just like on an airplane where they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping anyone else, your empathy will most likely not really help others if you allow yourself to be depleted.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I empathize so much, even with characters on tv or in video games, that I actually feel physical pain. This has made life difficult to say the least.\r\n\r\nI believe I have an actually case of something called hyper empathy disorder. But since it's such a new disorder I can't find any information about it. Could this be what is going on with me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2442
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What's most important is that you recognize that what you've been doing is off base - that what you've been feeling is \"overreacting,\" that you have \"insecurities,\" and you suspect your actions and reactions are connected to your own past and not to the current situation or to your partner. That's an excellent first step because without recognizing these things about yourself, it's unlikely that you would change.That said, you sound as if you are really ready to start some therapy to work on your own personal growth... not because there is something \"wrong\" with you, but because you're ready to learn more about yourself and make some creative changes in your behavior. Yes, there are lots of self-help books and courses, but we humans often make the most progress when we have support in\u00a0\u00a0real-time\u00a0from another human being who can sit with us, point out our blind spots, and teach us some skills that are hard to learn on our own.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been with my partner for 4 years. She's given me no reason not to trust her. But lately I've been overreacting a lot when she's just doing normal things. I think it's triggering my bad past relationships.\r\n\r\nHow can I get rid of these insecurities and be more trusting with her?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2443
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What are the best ways to reduce anxiety?I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.Our everyday life is filled with pressures and deadlines that are common to cause anxiety. \u00a0\u00a0Here are some basic tips to handle those stressors.\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Learn thought stopping techniques: There are multiple ways to teach your brain to refocus.\u00a0 If you allow your brain to focus on the source of anxiety, the anxiety will be in charge.\u00a0 But you can learn to put those anxiety-provoking thoughts on a parking lot, and focus on pleasurable thoughts, or the activity that you need to complete on the time being.\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Plan, organize, delegate:\u00a0 Create a schedule to manage demands, organize priorities, and delegate or share responsibilities.\u00a0\u00a0 Work as a team with your family, so you can share the load.\u00a0\u00a0 Prioritize actives, shores, and expenses. Focus on the urgent, necessary, and spread apart the not so urgent.\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Identify triggers: \u00a0Once you understand what causes your anxiety, you can learn to channel process and refocus your thoughts.\u00a0 You can also learn coping strategies to manage the problem or give up the desire to control it\u00a0if needed.\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Learn coping skills:\u00a0 Having a balanced lifestyle helps tremendously to reduce and manage anxiety symptoms.\u00a0 Looking at your eating, sleeping, physical activities, spirituality and leisure time is key to find that balance.If you find yourself struggling with anxiety, you can contact a Counselor or mental health provider.\u00a0 I provide teletherapy for Texas residents and psychotherapy in Puerto Rico, you can reach me at 787-466-5478 for appointments.\u00bfCu\u00e1les son las mejores maneras de reducir la ansiedad?Tengo ansiedad por preocupaciones diarias, como las finanzas, relaciones, ni\u00f1os y mantener mi casa.Nuestra vida est\u00e1 llena de retos y presiones que com\u00fanmente nos causan ansiedad.\u00a0 Aqu\u00ed unos consejos b\u00e1sicos para manejar esas preocupaciones.\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Aprende como detener tus pensamientos: Hay m\u00faltiples maneras de ense\u00f1arle a tu cerebro a reenfocarse.\u00a0 Si permites que tu cerebro se enfoque en la fuente de ansiedad, entonces la ansiedad se apoderar\u00e1 de ti.\u00a0 Pero puedes aprender a poner a un lado esos pensamientos que causan ansiedad, y enfocarte en pensamientos positivos, placenteros o simplemente enfocarte en la actividad que est\u00e1s haciendo. \u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Planifica, organiza, delega: Crea una agenda para manejar las demandas diarias, organizar prioridades y delegar o compartir responsabilidades.\u00a0\u00a0 Trabaja en equipo con tu familia, de manera que puedas compartir la carga. \u00a0Organiza las actividades, gastos y tareas por prioridad.\u00a0 Enf\u00f3cate en lo urgente y necesario y distribuye lo que no es tan vital. \u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Identifica la fuente:\u00a0 Ya que comprendes donde o qu\u00e9 inicia la ansiedad, puedes aprender a canalizarla, procesarla o reenfocar tus pensamientos. Tambi\u00e9n puedes aprender a manejar la fuente de ansiedad, resolver el problema, o aceptar que no lo puedes controlar, si ese fuera el caso. \u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Aprende mecanismos de defensa: Tener un estilo de vida balanceado ayuda tremendamente a manejar s\u00edntomas de ansiedad.\u00a0 Observar tus patrones de alimentaci\u00f3n, descanso, ejercicio, espiritualidad y tiempo de ocio es clave para encontrar el balance. Si notas que continuas batallando con la ansiedad puedes contactar a un consejero profesional de salud mental.\u00a0\u00a0 Proveo teleterapia a residentes de Texas y Consejer\u00eda en Puerto Rico, me puedes contactar al 787-466-5478 para hacer una cita.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2444
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "ABSOLUTELY. \u00a0Having someone who's outside the situation and, even more so, with knowledge and experience in human behavior and relationship dynamics such as a counselor can do wonders in helping us feel less alone in frustrating situations like the one you're currently stuck in with your mother. \u00a0A professional can also assist you in finding some assertiveness techniques, communication strategies, and coping skills to help you find your voice and stand your ground in a way that feels most authentic to you.In a healthy parent-child dynamic, there comes a normal developmental shift when, as the child reaches each new stage of maturity and responsibility, the parent backs off to provide a more supportive role instead of directive role. \u00a0We call this \"redefining relationships.\" \u00a0(We also do it with our friendships and colleagues here and there over time as needed). It's absolutely vital.\u00a0Sounds like your mom may have missed that memo.\u00a0Like many parents, she may feel your behavior and choices is a direct reflection of her. \u00a0Or that her role as your mother allows her greater latitude than it should. \u00a0Or like many other people in general, that her way is the ONLY way. \u00a0Regardless, this is YOUR life. \u00a0And as far as we know, it's not a dress rehearsal. \u00a0You certainly don't want to wake up some 50 years from now regretful or resentful.\u00a0That being said, there are certainly ways to show her love and respect while doing what makes you happy.\u00a0I would encourage you to Google therapists near you whose bios resonate with you and what you're looking for and start on a the journey towards a new chapter of freedom and hopefully a deeper, more satisfying mother-daughter relationship for both of you.Warmest regards,Tamara Powell, LMHC\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a mother who is still running my life even though I'm almost 30 years old. I want to move out and live my own life, but it feels like as long as I do what my mom wants our relationship is okay. It's never okay if I don't do what she wants. \r\n\r\nI don't know how to start making my own decisions and not worry about  whether it's right in her eyes.  Would it help for me to talk to someone about this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2445
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If the only way the relationship you have with your mother feels \"okay\" is when she is the only one who makes decisions concerning your life, then this only seems ok.In fact it is not okay for one person to be the authority for another person unless the one for whom this is being done, does not have their own ability to think for themselves.Separating your own wishes and way of handling life matters, from your mother's point of view, may be difficult.First, realize you need to get familiar with feeling at ease with the idea of deciding matters for yourself.You'll need practice until you feel comfortable.Unless, if you've been thinking through decisions you'd like to make and the idea of your mother's anger is the only point which stopped you, then you may almost instantly start living in a liberated way of running your own life.Basically, it is right and fair for you to have the chance to live your life the way you feel is best. \u00a0\u00a0Be prepared that your mother may disagree with you and that her disagreement is not a reason itself to not do what you believe is in your best interest.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a mother who is still running my life even though I'm almost 30 years old. I want to move out and live my own life, but it feels like as long as I do what my mom wants our relationship is okay. It's never okay if I don't do what she wants. \r\n\r\nI don't know how to start making my own decisions and not worry about  whether it's right in her eyes.  Would it help for me to talk to someone about this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2446
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Wear baggy clothes to disguise the problem and if you do this for a long enough time, then your friends may forget what size boobs you have.Can you tell your parents what you wrote here? \u00a0If yes, then maybe they will be empathetic and this always helps.They may also agree to not make any comments about your boobs when you wear the bigger bra around your friends when they visit you at home.Also, its possible your friends already have questioned why you wore a bigger bra than your boobs. \u00a0Maybe they saw what was going on the whole time during the school year and felt too awkward to tell you.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "On the first day of school I wore a bra that was too big so that it would look like I had bigger boobs.  I did that the whole school year and my parents never found out. But now I can never hang out with my friends at my house or invite them over because it would be around my parents and my friends would see there is nothing there on my chest. \r\n\r\nHow do I fix this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2447
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "In general the reason people aren't able to change is because the person feels a sense of fear to change.What the roots are of this fear are usually easiest to identify by talking with someone whom you trust and feel safe to talk about your inner thoughts and emotions.If you haven't got someone like this in your life, which is common, then shop around for a therapist because a therapist is someone who is professionally trained to listen in a way which helps someone know more about who they are.Be patient with yourself too. \u00a0Change sometimes feels much scarier and is more complex than simple compared with whatever you would like to change.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know I'm ruining my life with a lot of the decisions I make.  I consistently tell myself I need to make some serious changes in my life, but I just can't seem to even though I really want to. Why can't I force myself to change?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2448
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This must be so difficult for both of you. \u00a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \u00a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\u00a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \u00a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \u00a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \u00a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \u00a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \u00a0Sending warm wishes your way.\u00a0\u00a0-Sarah", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2449
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I don't know much about the dynamics of your relationship, but I want to say that you cannot possibly be responsible for anyone else's happiness. \u00a0If you are interested in a good read on this topic, I highly recommend The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9e is always letting me know how I am a horrible/evil person, or I just don\u2019t care enough when it\u2019s about her feeling or when she is having an off day."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2450
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You're her mom and she needs you. \u00a0I would suggest focusing on connection. \u00a0Since you are not currently living together, one way to do this would be to plan a date in which she gets to decide what you do together. \u00a0Give her time to think about what she wants to do. \u00a0As long as the activity is safe and affordable, try to do it, even if it's not your thing. \u00a0While you are with her, turn off the phone and give her your undivided attention. \u00a0The goal would be just for you to enjoy each other and connect. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "She's a teenager, and for the last two years, she's lived with her older brother. She's angry because she wants to come live with me, but my current living situation is not the best for her. She refuses to see any reason. She's being disrespectful. Her sexual curiosity is waking up."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2451
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I also want to note that we, as a society, are especially judgemental about how women dress and present themselves. \u00a0I am sorry that this boy said something insensitive. \u00a0There is nothing shameful about your body and it was not your intention to \"display everything.\" \u00a0It also wasn't his place to judge you.\u00a0As women we are expected to be sexy in some situations and demure in others. \u00a0Men don't have the same range of societal expectations to navigate. \u00a0You didn't deserve his rudeness. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am becoming a Water Safety Instructor but I didn't have enough for a proper swimsuit. I was told by a boy in class that my top was displaying everything. I was very embarrassed."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2452
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Wow, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. \u00a0My heart goes out to you. \u00a0Please find a therapist who specializes in working with PTSD. \u00a0Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and Somatic Experiencing are all highly effective therapies for complex interpersonal trauma. \u00a0If you are interested in reading about trauma from a compassionate and scientific perspective I highly recommend Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was kidnapped at fourteen and raped at gunpoint. The guy got six months. When the same thing happened with two \"friends\" at nineteen, I didn't even report it."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2453
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Let's look at your question and break it down. It begins with the word should. As a first reflection, it implies that there is a right and a wrong way to feel, in this case, feel upset. I think I would like to ask you the question in a different way: are you feeling upset? If you are feeling upset or if you are feeling another emotion : insert worried, ambivalent, scared, angry, insecure, confused that is likely reasonable if the relationship has undergone some breaks in trust followed by distance (seperation). The first step is to recognize what you are feeling, and accept it for what it is-- an emotion. A feeling. You are entitled to feel a range of emotions as you are in the process of repairing or rebuilding the marriage. It is what you \u00a0do\u00a0with that feeling that matters-- how you act, how you think, what you say, \u00a0and the impact the emotion (likely emotions) have on\u00a0your relationship and in turn your quality of life that matters. If you want to discuss the impact of your feelings on you or on your marriage, I suggest you consult with a mental health professional with expertise in couple therapy/ relationship issues. I hope you find this information helpful.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I\u2019m trying to make marriage work after a split. Before our split, he lied a lot and broke every promise to me. I don't think he cheated. Last month, I asked what women work with him, so he told me. Yesterday, I found out about a girl that he said he forgot about. Should I be upset?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2454
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What you are describing is something I often refer to as \"living with your roommate\" phenomenon. This is the idea that you feel like you are living with a roommate and no your partner or spouse . It is not uncommon for members of a couple to report to feel both physical and/or emotional distance. When we don't feel connected within relationships, this can be isolating and lonely. The emotional distance often makes us wonder: am I important to the other? These types of feelings need to be better understood in the context of your own background and upbringing I.e., who you are and also better understood in the context of your couple. Feeling reconnected can occur-- but there is not a \"one size fits all\" solutoon. As a first step, do you or your partner have any ideas of how to feel reconnected? Have you considering talking to your partner about the emotional void? Or how about discussing \u00a0solutions , together, that might help-- from individual therapy to couple therapy to a weekly date night to inquiring about one another's personal interest to starting off the conversation of what both of you want and can do to re-establish feelings of connectiveness. If this is too frightening I.e., to address the lack of connection between you and your spouse. \u00a0a fist meeting with a couple therapist can likely help unpack what the possible solutions for your couple.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2455
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Your question highlights your pain very clearly.\u00a0\u00a0What you are describing is one of the most common scenarios I see in my practice with couples: One partner feels terribly lonely and unimportant in response to the other partner either turning towards other people and activities or being withdrawn and turning inward.\u00a0My mind immediately goes to a question for you: What happens when you are feeling alone and uncared for? What do you say to yourself about you, about your spouse, and about your relationship?\u00a0 What do you do in response to these feelings? Do you ask for what you need?\u00a0 Does this lead to arguments?\u00a0 Do you stay silent or withdraw?Very often, couples enter into negative patterns where one partner feels afraid of rejection by the other partner and so withdraws from the relationship (and is often seen as \"cold and aloof\" towards the relationship), and the other partner feels afraid of abandonment by the withdrawing partner and so pursues the other (and is often seen as \"critical and nagging\").\u00a0 Regardless of \"who started it,\" these patterns can\u00a0turn into infinity loops that take on a gravity of their own, and ultimately cause both partners to withdraw and dissolve the relationship.\u00a0 If both partners want to work on saving and improving the relationship, the way out of this is to learn about your emotions and patterns together so that you can slow down the pattern and stay in touch with the emotions that pull people together.\u00a0 As the patterns\u00a0slow down, partners are better able to get more deeply in touch with their vulnerabilities, needs and longings, and ask for them to be met in such a way that doesn't leave the other partner feeling criticized, threatened, abandoned, or uncared for.Some couples can do this without the help of a therapist.\u00a0 The book \"Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a LIfetime of Love\" by Sue Johnson is a self-help book based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (the most scientifically validated couples therapy that currently exists), and has been helpful to many couples that I see.\u00a0 When a therapist is needed to help partners reconnect or overcome betrayals, I recommend seeking couples therapists who are trained in a scientifically tested model of couples therapy (such as Emotionally Focused Therapy.\u00a0 You can learn more about EFT or find an EFT therapist here: http://www.iceeft.com).To summarize:Your pain is understandable and valid.\u00a0 It's telling you what you are missing and what you want.Reconnection comes when we can listen to what our feelings are telling us, express those feelings in a safe way, and assert our wants/needs,\u00a0while remaining open to the vulnerabilities and needs of our partner.If you can do that on your own, and your relationship is responsive, that's fantastic!\u00a0 If you encounter challenges in resolving this yourself, consider therapy with a trained couples therapist using a model that is scientifically validated.\u00a0 Pain means this is important!\u00a0 You and your marriage are worth the effort!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2456
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is ok to have anxiety. \u00a0 Please don't be anxious about being anxious.If you feel anxiety coming over you, then pull off the road to a safe place. \u00a0 Concentrate on centering yourself and to breath slowly. \u00a0 Take some sips of water. \u00a0Sit still. \u00a0 \u00a0 The anxiety should pass in about twenty minutes.If it does not pass, then continue calming yourself until you feel safe enough to drive to your hotel. \u00a0 \u00a0 You can always explain to your supervisor that you were taking care of a medical problem, because anxiety is a medical problem.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2457
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Since as husband and wife your lives are closely joined, how your husband feels greatly influences the way you feel.Give yourself some time to concentrate on how you've been affected by your husband's suicide attempt. \u00a0 Even if you decide against immediately telling him how you're feeling, knowing this about yourself will guide how and the topics you bring up with him.Is your husband talking easily with you?Do you have some ideas as to what is creating his feeling of hopelessness?The ideal approach would be if the two of you are able to discuss what bothers him and what bothers you.Depending on how far away you each are from such a position, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed professional therapist who can guide you and or you and your husband on opening up for discussion what feels stressful enough to merit taking one's own life.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2458
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sorry to hear about your high degree of stress.How old is your daughter?Who abused yours daughter?The answers make a difference to your decision.Obviously if the father was the abuser, then unless your ex demonstrates to you and you believe, he will not abuse her, your daughter should stay with you.If someone other than the father was the abuser and the father has a good relationship with your daughter, then it is possible that the time away from your household will give each of you time away from arguing with one another.What does your daughter tell you she wants?Her wishes must be considered too.Relationships can be fixed. \u00a0 Sometimes being apart helps this process because the two people each have time to reflect more deeply on what they value about the other.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "She refuses to talk to me and told my mom (her grand mother) that she is remembering things from the past. I don't know what to do. My daughter blames me and swears she hates me.\r\n\r\nMy parents say I should just let my daughter live with her dad, but I don't see how I could fix things if I only see her every other weekend. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2459
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Do you know why your girlfriend doesn't believe you?It is strange that your girlfriend prefers you to take the phone call of another woman.Have you blocked the unwelcome phone calls?Has your girlfriend said she doesn't believe you or is this your interpretation?Find out the answer and then ask your girlfriend to tell you her reasons behind her thoughts.It is much easier to help someone understand a situation if the person is engaged in a conversation.Whether or not she understands is up to her.All you can be responsible to do is to offer your explanation, which sounds like you've already substantially offered.Keep or reintroduce the topic for the two of you to talk about again.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Over a year ago I had a female friend. She turned out to be kind of crazy so I decided to stop talking to her.  When she would call me I wouldn't answer the phone. This made my girlfriend really suspicious. She would ask me why I wouldn't ever answer that phone number. I told my girlfriend that I don't want to be friends with that other woman, but I don't think she believes me. How can I get my girlfriend to understand?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2460
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sure you've tried to talk to your husband, but if not, could you? Have a conversation with him about him and his life, his work, etc. See if he relaxes and opens up to you, even a little bit. Don't try to have a heavy conversation or even unburden yourself to him during this first conversation - just try to be light-hearted and focus on hearing him. It's the first step towards getting your needs met too, and ending any emotional standoff that might have come about between you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2461
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There is always hope. So don't give up on hope.However, you knew I would say that, there is a lot work ahead of you.You need to see someone to talk things out.Get some space between you and your husband. Don't chase and please don't stalk him.Do some deep searching as to why he left and what part you had to cause the split.You can't change him but you are in control of your own change.With the help of a professional counselor you can get help and direction where you need to change.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I are separated and he doesn't even want to talk to me. \r\n\r\nHe says he doesn't love me anymore, but I would do anything to get him back. Is there any hope?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2462
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "A good way to start is the language or \"self talk\" that is happening inside your mind. \u00a0Looking at your question, when it is said that the presentations \"make me feel stress\" you are giving the responsibility of the stress to the presentations and taking that away from your self. \u00a0The presentations cannot give or take away your stress, that's something only you can do and you can do it! \u00a0 What language can you change in your self talk? \u00a0For example, are you saying \"I can't speak in front of an audience! I'll fail?\" \u00a0That sounds a lot different than \"I studied my butt off and if I practice speaking out loud, I can ace this presentation!\" \u00a0Although this is a short answer, I do believe that counseling will help you overcome these stressful feelings and bring out your inner confidence. \u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2463
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you! What you are describing is being in a state of shock. You haven't suddenly become a sociopath - this is a normal reaction to an event that is completely overwhelming. There are most likely too many feelings to feel right now, so your body in its wisdom is shutting them down. You absolutely can recover, and it would be really important to get some trauma counseling with a counselor who feels safe for you to talk with. This is not the kind of situation to try and handle totally on your own.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2464
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Check out my latest blog: \u00a0Four-ways-add-self-esteem-friends-listI hope this offers you some nuggets of helpfulness!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I hate everything I see in the mirror. I don't like being in pictures and always scribble out my face.  It's stressing me out. I don't trust my parents enough to tell them and I don't know what to do."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2465
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Check out my blog post on: \u00a0Four-ways-add-self-esteem-friends-list/I hope this offers you some nuggets of helpfulness! \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel like I'm ugly, stupid, useless, and that I can't make anyone happy."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2466
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Check out my latest blog on: \u00a0Four-ways-add-self-esteem-friends-listI hope this offers you some nuggets of helpfulness! \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I always need alcohol to feel better and use that as a excuse."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2467
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Why are you afraid of rape? Because it is a problem in the United States! The National Sexual Violence Resource Center reports that one in five women (0r 20%) will be raped (http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf) and that 80% of women know their assailant. Given these statistics, it is perfectly logical to be afraid. However, there are things you can do to reduce the risk of rape, such as being aware of your surroundings, and limiting the use of drugs or alcohol.The Enhanced Access, Knowledge, Act program for college-aged women has been shown to reduce the risk of rape by more than 50%. (http://www.blueprintsprograms.com/factsheet/eaaa-enhanced-assess-acknowledge-act-sexual-assault-resistance-education) You may want to see if a program like this is available in your area.\u00a0Another great app for when you need to walk somewhere alone, is the Companion App (http://www.companionapp.io). Friends or family can track your progress from one point to another via the GPS in your phone.In addition, talking with a counselor about your fears would also be a good idea. Sometimes fears are rational and reasonable. Sometimes they are over-reactions and unreasonable. When then are over-reactions and unreasonable, they can have a negative impact on your life. In this case, a counselor could help you understand why your fears are unreasonable, and how you can stop them from negatively impacting your life.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Why am I so afraid of it? I don't understand."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2468
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. First, I want to say that it is great that you are are willing to admit that you share some responsibility in some of the relationship problems you are having. This isn't always easy to do, but it sure is important if you want to see improvement. It does sound cliche, but communication really is the bedrock of relationships. And not just intimate partner relationships, but really any relationship that is significant to us. It sounds like you are saying that you have a difficult time really listening to what your partner is telling you and then responding in a way that is helpful. I want to tell you that you are not alone. Good communication skills are not really something you are born with, we actually have to learn them. The good news is that there is great information available to help you do that. Ultimately, some people must seek professional help through couple's counseling in order to get help with this process. This is because some of the hurt and anger could be at such a level already that you may need help setting boundaries, creating a plan, learning new skills, and staying on track. If that is not something you can afford or can do right now, here are a few suggestions that may help. Personally, I am big fan of Dr. John Gottman. He is an expert in relationships and wrote a really great, easy-to-read book called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Dr. Gottman discusses the kind of communication that healthy couples seem to have, which can be helpful and worth trying. You can buy Dr. Gottman's book on Amazon for under $9. It's a good deal. There are a variety of websites that have good information that may help you build your communication. Here is one that I found that has a few good tips. http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/effective-communication.htm You can try them and see if they are helpful. ***It is important to remember that like all new skills, communication requires practice and we surely fail several times before we start getting good at it. If you were ever a pitcher in baseball, then you know you have to throw thousands of pitches before you really start hitting your strike zone consistently. Allow yourself to make mistakes, own them, and start again. I hope these suggestions help, and good luck.Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm having relationship problems and I want to fix them to make things right before I lose her. How can I learn how to listen and get myself together?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2469
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Are you sure it is only the birth control pills which has changed your sex drive?My guess would be that possibly due to the hormonal changes of the pill, your own awareness and understanding of yourself in this relationship, is what is actually changing.Birth control pills control ovulation. \u00a0 They don't directly prevent people from all desire to express affection.Allow yourself some time to reflect on how you feel toward your BF. \u00a0 It is possible the birth control pills triggered a change in your attitude toward him.And, maybe independent of the pill, maybe you just are done with the relationship.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend shows affection, but I just push him away.  Every time my boyfriend tries to kiss, hug, or touch me I almost always push him away. I'm on birth control and it has killed my sex drive. \r\n\r\n I love him so much.  Why do I do this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2470
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. That must be very frustrating for you to feel that you to be reminded of constant wrongdoing in your relationship, especially when you feel that your wife does not admit to any fault. This could lead you to feel inadequate in the relationship that can harm your relationship in the long-term. Based on what you are reporting and without knowing your wife's side of the story, I would say that you are raising 3 different concerns.\u00a0One is that there seems to be some concern of infidelity from your wife that you feel is not justified. It may bear clarifying how each of you define \"infidelity\". Currently, there is no uniform definition of infidelity because it can emcompass a hook-up, chatroom texting, extensive phone calls to a female friend, viewing pornography, a massage with happy ending, physical intercourse, or intimate emotional sharing. Depending on whether any of these circumstances have occured, you may need to reflect whether there is any truth to what she may be accusing you of and for you to share with her your reasons for engaging in these activities. If there is no truth to it, then my clinical intuition is that she may be accusing you of infidelity as a way of saying, \"I feel you distancing from me.\" In other words, it's not so much about whether you are actually unfaithful but a statement of how she feels as she witnesses your distancing from her. Often times, accusing a partner of cheating is likened to a cry or a yearning for closeness. If so, what you want to do is to reflect to her that perhaps she is saying that you are unfaithful because she senses that you are moving away from her emotionally. If this is true, you may wish to share with her why you are pulling away and then discuss the kind of support you may need to feel closer to her again. Otherwise, if the focus becomes about who is right and who is wrong, the conversation will never touch at both of your core emotional needs.\u00a0The second issue touches upon how to interpret calling someone a \"sweetheart.\" The term has been loosely used in a variety of contexts to mean \"you're so sweet and kind\", \"my dear\", or in a flirtatious manner to mean \"sweetie.\" The intention behind the use is known only to the speaker. You may want to reflect in what context you meant to use the term and share it with your wife. If your wife overheard the comment not knowing your intentions or context, it is possible that she may have misinterpreted what you have said. \u00a0If she finds the term disrespectful, it may be her way of expressing, \"I want to be the important person in your life and if you call someone else a sweetheart it means that I am not valued as much.\" Therefore, arguing about who has the right or wrong interpretation may be missing the mark. Rather, the issue is about how do you wish to treat or show consideration of each others feelings? You may wish to explore how do you show her that you value her and that she is important to you? Is saying \"sweetheart\" to another woman conducive to that or is it sending mixed messages to your wife? That said, if you have expressed and shown her that she is important to you on many occasions with open discussions and by understanding, accomodating and prioritizing her needs, then her actions may be a reflection of her personal insecurities. She may need to speak to a therapist about her feelings and her fears.The last issue you raised concerns your wife never admitting she's wrong. Indeed that must be frustrating for you to hear often that you are doing something wrong. In the absence of her admitting to any faults, it could seem like you are the one with the problem. Unfortunately, blaming invites defensiveness and a withdrawn behavior because most people who feel blamed do not feel good about themselves and wishes to distance themselves from the person who is making them feel unhappy. This pattern can also trigger the partners' insecurity as they witnesses the distancing, which could make them angrier and more accusatory - creating a vicious cycle. Finding a healthy way of reaching out when your partner is in turmoil to help calm her emotions and being able to speak about your own feelings and needs is at the heart of a very secure attachment. This kind of conversation can be guided by an experienced professional to help both of you to express your feelings and needs in a safe and secure way to foster a secure bonding. We sometimes take for granted the simple expression of, \"I'm sorry.\" However, it requires a certain comfort with being vulnerable to express that. In my practice, when a client tells me that his or her partner never says \"I'm sorry\", I am often observing the first partner to see if they are able to express vulnerability. If neither of them express it, then it makes sense to me because why would one risk being vulnerable and then getting hurt if they open up if the other partner doesn't do it.? These insights in therapy can sometimes lead to a different relationship building conversation, which can help couples to to feel safer with each other rather than blaming and alientating.\u00a0For more information about these services, you are welcome to read my materials on my website at www.PsychologyResource.ca or to contact me at (514) 690-2469.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My wife is always accusing me of cheating and telling me that I'm doing things she finds disrespectful even when I don't mean it like that. For example, she gets offended when I call someone at work \"sweetheart.\"  I wish I had a penny for every time she accused me of cheating on her.  She doesn't, and never will say she was wrong. How do I get her to understand?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2471
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There could be many reasons that you push your boyfriend away. It could be part of how you were raised, it could be because of culture, it could even be your own insecurities about yourself that are then outwardly manifested in you \"pushing\" him away.\u00a0What is important in all this is that you both find a way to connect. So what if you aren't a hugger, a kisser, or a toucher you have to find what works for the both of you and your relationship. There are many ways to show affection that aren't physical (words of affirmation, giving of time and/or gifts, etc). If your boyfriend wants the physical attention then work on ways that are comfortable for the both of you making sure to start out slow and to work your way up to more physical touching.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend shows affection, but I just push him away.  Every time my boyfriend tries to kiss, hug, or touch me I almost always push him away. I'm on birth control and it has killed my sex drive. \r\n\r\n I love him so much.  Why do I do this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2472
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Here is the truth: You will never get her to understand! because that would mean changing her and we can't change other people we can only change ourselves. I would recommend to take the time to self reflect on what exactly it is that you are doing that is contributing to the mixup. You both have very valid feelings and those won't magically go away until you address the root problem (which could be many factors).\u00a0I am curious to know more about past relationships the both of you have had and how that plays a role in your current relationship. Many times we don't realize how past relationships truly impact our current behaviors.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My wife is always accusing me of cheating and telling me that I'm doing things she finds disrespectful even when I don't mean it like that. For example, she gets offended when I call someone at work \"sweetheart.\"  I wish I had a penny for every time she accused me of cheating on her.  She doesn't, and never will say she was wrong. How do I get her to understand?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2473
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. Nervousness, when doing something new, especially something sexual that can feel so personal, is very common. Indeed, despite the fact that nervousness can be uncomfortable, it is also part of the excitement of trying something new. Many people who engage in open, polyamorous, and/or other-type relationships, will tell you that difficult feelings, such as jealousy and anger, do show up sometimes. This doesn't prove that there is something wrong with the relationship, it just shows that you retain normal human emotions while in one. And many people who are in polyamorous relationships have written about the work it sometimes takes to make such relationships work. Of course, all relationships take work, so polyamorous and other types of relationships are simply not an exception. There could be several reasons why you are feeling the way you do. One reason could be that you are simply not as comfortable with the idea as you think you are. Some time and good communication with your husband may help you with this. Another reason this may be bothering you is because, on some level, you are aware of the messages society gives us about marriages. They are supposed to be monogamous, heterosexual, etc. etc. Just because you may not agree with these beliefs doesn't mean that you haven't been influenced by them. We all have. Another reason this may be upsetting you is because it may feel a little frightening. Perhaps there are a lot of \"What ifs\" going on in your mind. When you get the \"empty\" feeling, it may be helpful to try to really nail down the emotions that are attached to that feeling. One thing that I do think is very important is that you communicate these feelings to your husband. It may even be a good idea to talk about expectations or \"ground rules\", if you will. It is important that you are both on the same page about what this is, and why you are doing it. If you continue to struggle, I suggest finding a counselor who has experience in sex and sexuality.\u00a0 I wish you well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. \r\n\r\nHe and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2474
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\n\nLet's just start with being real. Expressing\r\nyourself is vulnerable, and being vulnerable is hard. It takes courage and work\r\nto be vulnerable. My guess is that you have been shown in your lifetime that\r\nbeing vulnerable (ie, expressing yourself) is unsafe. My assumption would be\r\nyou have been criticized, or ignored when you have expressed yourself in the\r\npast, it has taught your emotional self to simply not do it again. This is a normal\r\nprotective mechanism that you have used to cope with past feelings of hurt. It\r\nwill take time and work to engage again in an emotional way.I would start my practicing and\r\nidentifying how you feel to yourself. Check in with yourself multiple times a\r\nday to gage where you are at emotionally. After you feel you have a good grasp\r\non this, start to engage in emotional conversations with others. Choose others that\r\nfeel safe to you, a good friend that knows you well, or a sibling or family\r\nmember. Expressing yourself is a behavior that you have suppressed out of\r\nprotection, so you can choose to engage in safe emotional expression behaviors\r\njust the same. Best of luck!\n", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't know how to tell someone how I feel about them. How can I get better at expressing how I feel?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2475
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "As someone who specializes in sexuality and polyamory, I can tell you that your experience is incredibly common. It can be helpful to keep in mind that alcohol lowers our inhibitions, and for first time threesomes or any new sexual behavior really, we humans tend to enjoy a little extra oomph to our courage levels. That being said, it also lowers our ability to make well thought-out decisions. This combined with the brain rewarding novelty (new lover, new experience with our partner etc.) and maybe even some over-zealousness and performance anxiety could likely explain why your husband was on her more than you. My encouragement to you is to try not to overthink it at this stage. Now, IF you two choose to bring her or someone else into the bedroom again and a similar thing keeps happening, I would definitely push the issue and see what's up from his perspective.The empty feeling could be any number of things including:Fear that \"you're not enough for him\"Fear that \"she's better than you\" in some wayFear that \"if we keep doing this thing, he will need it and what happens if I no longer want it?\"Opposite fear of \"what if I now want her more than him\" or \"if I want the threesomes and he doesn't?\"Fear of \"does this mean our sex life isn't good enough as it is?\"....\"do we have to always add a little spice to keep it hot?\"Or like Robin alluded to, preconceived notions about what culture, religion, family and friends etc. say about what marriage and sex \"should\" look like.\u00a0 I also agree with her encouragement to explore the empty feeling further and see what nuances of other feelings are in there...jealousy? insecurity? shame? regret? longing?\u00a0 When you can identify and name them, they are easier handled. Some of the resources I recommend poly/ sexually open couples are:\u201cLove in Abundance: a Counselor\u2019s Advice on Open Relationships\u201d by Kathy Labriola\u201cThe Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships\u201d by Kathy Labriola\u201cRewriting the Rules: an Integrative Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships\u201d by Meg Barker\u201cMore Than Two: a Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory\u201d by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert\u201cThe Game Changer: a Memoir of Disruptive Love\u201d by Franklin Veaux\u201cThe Ethical Slut: a Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures\u201d by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy\u201cOpening Up: a Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships\u201d by Tristan Taormino\u201cOpen All the Way: Confessions From my Open Marriage\u201d by Sadie Smythe\u201cHenry and June: From \u2018A Journal of Love\u2019 \u2013 The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin (1931-1932)\u201cPersonally, I find your cravings to be healthy and quite normal. The key is to make them work well for you and your partner(s). Robin's also right about communication being key. Some of the suggested resources above can help get those conversations started. And if you need further assistance, absolutely I would find a sex-positive, poly-positive counselor to chat with.Best of luck to you!Tamara Powell, LMHC", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. \r\n\r\nHe and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2476
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. You are asking a very good question about how to sustain a long-distance relationship. Although maintaining a long-distance relationship has its challenges, with the proper communication, commitment, and understanding, many long-distance couples are able to thrive and maintain a close connection.\u00a0Without knowing more about the \"complicated\" nature of your relationship, I wonder whether your boyfriend has given you reason not to trust him that makes afraid that he will find someone else. Has he cheated on you in the past and has shown romantic interest to another person that made you fear losing him? \u00a0Or, is your thought just a fear but not based on evidence? Knowing that distinction is important because if it is the latter, you may benefit from refocusing on the wonderful qualities about your partner that makes you feel good about him and the relationship rather than focusing on the unknown or uncertainty of the future. The more you focus on \"what if\" situations, the more you may feel anxious about a reality that is not accurate and make you act in ways that are insecure.\u00a0However, if there is reason for you to question his fidelity, you may have to speak to your boyfriend about how to build trust in the context of a long-distance relationship. To help the conversation, you may need to consider what you may need to experience or receive as support to feel safe in the relationship to build trust. Is that you wish him to contact you regularly, or to include you more in his life, or to make a clear commitment? For many of my clients in my private practice, that may include talking to their partner often and using a variety of modalities including text, phone, and Skype. It's hard to believe in a relationship when you never talk to your partner, and it's hard to build a relationship when you don't know what's going on in your partner's life. Other times, it is Making sure they talk often to their long-distance partner so that they can participate in each others lives and to feel their presence.. Regular communication, understanding and caring is the key to sustaining any relationship, but this is especially true for long-distance ones.\u00a0Dr. Virginia Chowwww.PsychologyResource.ca", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We weren't long distance until he joined the military.  I love him and I know he loves, me but it's complicated. He said he's not going to find someone else, but I'm afraid. How do I keep our relationship going?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2477
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You're right that long-distance relationships can be complicated. If he loves you and you love him, that's a great start. I wonder if you would be able or willing to have a discussion about what you love about each other and what makes each of you feel loved, valued, special, and appreciated.When having important discussions, consider the following:Make sure it is a good time to have a discussion (and if you're doing it in writing because of the distance, you could type something in the top of the message about not reading any further if the person who is reading doesn't have 10 minutes or something like that)Try to listen as though you are an investigative reporter trying to find out information about each other. Asking more questions in this manner can be a helpful way to be less defensive during difficult or emotional conversations.When having discussions face-to-face, I often recommend using timeout when things become very emotional and saying that you agree to go back to the conversation in 15 minutes or one hour or some short duration of time that allows for some of the immediate emotions to dissipate so it is easier to also talk about them. As for how that translates to distance, maybe each of you would say that you are working on figuring out how best to explain it and will answer the next time you have access to the Internet (or, if possible, use some kind of timeframe).Consider what questions you would like answers to. For example, are you wondering:What should I do if I miss you or want to talk to you more? I don't want to make you feel guilty, but I also don't want to hide my feelings. Can I share them with you?If you have days or weeks when we cannot be in contact directly, can I keep sending you messages or is that overwhelming?How will you ask for support from me?Some couples really want to protect each other. In doing so, instead of hiding our emotions, can we share them and work through them together?Whatever else comes to mind.Gary Chapman is famous for his books about the 5 Love Languages. He has one specifically for military families:\u00a0The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts.Here's a list of books related to loving from a distance:\u00a0http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/bookstor.htmI have not read these books myself, but I have read other works by a lot of the authors.One final tip: Consider making a list of times when you work together and both feeling calm, safe, and comfortable. These memories could be helpful to you during difficult moments.Best wishes to you. Remember that you could each see therapists in your respective locations if that would be helpful to you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We weren't long distance until he joined the military.  I love him and I know he loves, me but it's complicated. He said he's not going to find someone else, but I'm afraid. How do I keep our relationship going?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2478
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There is a lot of information that needs to be filled in first.\u00a0So what the custody arrangement? Does your dad have full custody? Is the custody shared?\u00a0What does your mom think about the situation? Is she willing to go to bat for you?What is your age? Usually you have the right to choose based on age requirements set by the state.Legally you can't be kept away from your mom unless there is some legal complications that prevent it.Is your father abusive and should you seek protection?Many details need to be filled in.You can seek counseling without your parents approving or knowing, depending on your age.Find counseling through school or local agencies.You have rights and one of those is the right to choose.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I want to live with my mom. My dad gets angry and makes me feel like everything is my fault. I still talk to my mom although My dad tells me that I'm no allowed to. I'm scared I will make the wrong decision and that my dad will hate me. \r\n\r\nHow do I tell him that I want to live with my mom?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2479
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You ask a very deep and sensitive question which reflects good self-awareness.It is possible you are a more sensitive and aware person than the people whom you describe as listening and not really hearing you.Not everyone has the same capacity or willingness to pay careful attention to what is going on in life.Maybe for right now, until you are able to find in person friends whom you're able to feel hear you the way you'd like to be heard, find online forums and groups of likeminded people.If you google a topic which you wish your friends would be better at understanding, there will be scores of groups, including google groups, which come up.You're not alone in the sense that there are definitely people on this earth who are sensitive, caring, and willing to talk and understand others.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I feel so alone. I have so many people around me, but it seems as they just listen and dont understand.  They say it will all be okay, or they don't listen to me st all.  Everyone says they are here for me but it doesn't feel like they are. Why do I feel so alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2480
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If you'd like to ask a question, then go ahead and ask!Boyfriend/girlfriend is a close relationship and it is usually understood as an exclusive relationship. \u00a0You're definitely entitled to know if your wishes to not have him texting another woman, are being respected.Often people are afraid to ask because they fear the truth will hurt them.In the short term this is definitely true.In the long term, knowing you are getting what you want and at the very least stating your expectations to your boyfriend, will clarify for him, what is meaningful in your relationship.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We've been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. I recently saw his phone and saw the people he texts the most and one of them was a  female coworker. I don't know how to approach this situation. How do I ask him about it?."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2481
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You're wise to be aware of possible changes to your relationship once your bf is away from you for extended time periods.All you both can do is state your intentions and wishes, keep in contact as much as possible, and wait to see how your relationship unfolds.To a large degree, each of you is relying on faith that if the relationship is meant to last for a while, then it will. \u00a0 The military may add stress.This doesn't necessarily mean the stress will dissolve the relationship.Sometimes all anyone is able to do, is try.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We weren't long distance until he joined the military.  I love him and I know he loves, me but it's complicated. He said he's not going to find someone else, but I'm afraid. How do I keep our relationship going?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2482
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I agree with Sherry that in a close intimate relationship, you are entitled to ask questions about his relationship with significant others. These questions help couples to build connection and trust. It's based on the idea that if you reach out to him for whatever reason (support, openess, understanding, empathy), you can count on him and can expect him to be responsive. How he responds to your question will give you an idea whether he helps you to feel more emotionally secure and builds trust or if you feel that you cannot be open with him. If your partner responds in an open and understanding manner, it usually indicates that he cares about your feelings and values your importance. If he responds in a defensive manner, it could mean that he does not like that you are questioning your trust in him or that he has something to hide. Either way, you may wish to explain that building trust is something that is very important to you in a relationship and that talking to him openly helps to foster that. If he continues to be defensive or evasive, then there might be some bigger issues at stake and the two of you may benefit from couples counselling or having a discussion about the values that are important to you in the relationship and how the two of you will go about supporting those values with actions.Dr. Virginia Chowwww.PsychologyResource.ca", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We've been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. I recently saw his phone and saw the people he texts the most and one of them was a  female coworker. I don't know how to approach this situation. How do I ask him about it?."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2483
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Let yourself know what you feel. \u00a0\u00a0There is no timetable or known length of how much time a particular person requires in order to feel that the dissolved relationship is behind them.Probably the more you allow yourself to acknowledge your sadness from seeing the reminders, the sooner you will feel fresh and new again.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder.  How do I move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2484
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You may not get her to understand your point of view with any more success than your wife is having with you to do the same.It is possible you are a balanced couple in the sense of neither one of you understanding the other.The deeper question to ponder is whether each of you can accept the other person even though you each have very different terms for defining \"cheating\".You will find either there are enough strong similarities to keep the two of you happy as a couple, or there aren't these similarities.Then, the new question would be whether either of you want to address your findings or not.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My wife is always accusing me of cheating and telling me that I'm doing things she finds disrespectful even when I don't mean it like that. For example, she gets offended when I call someone at work \"sweetheart.\"  I wish I had a penny for every time she accused me of cheating on her.  She doesn't, and never will say she was wrong. How do I get her to understand?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2485
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Although we can have moments when we feel alone, even with the presence of family and friends, feeling alone most of the time could be a sign that there is a lack of connection between you and your loved ones. Generally, the lack of connection can occur when you don't feel heard, understood or valued. These are common emotional needs that result in a good and secure emotional connection that reduces feelings of loneliness.\u00a0You mentioned that \"they listen but don't understand.\" Do you communication clearly about what you need emotionally (understood, accepted, valued, heard, empathized)? To help you ask for the right type of support, you can ask yourself what it is about the situation that is bothering you and how you would wish for your friends and family to respond to you. The result may be an answer that is more informative to your loved ones. For example, you might say, \"Thank you for listening to me. When I feel alone, I feel like nobody cares about me because everybody seems busy with their lives. I just wanted to hear and feel that I'm valued by receiving caring messages and phone calls.\"\u00a0Dr. Virginia Chowwww.psychologyresource.ca", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I feel so alone. I have so many people around me, but it seems as they just listen and dont understand.  They say it will all be okay, or they don't listen to me st all.  Everyone says they are here for me but it doesn't feel like they are. Why do I feel so alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2486
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. Changing unwanted behavior is one of the hardest things a person can do. I agree with Sherry that being patient with yourself is important. Here are a few things I would suggest:1. Get clear on the behaviors you really want to change, and make sure they are behaviors that CAN be changed. Sometimes we will set a goal like, \"I want to be more confident\" but that is hard to measure and prove to yourself that you accomplished it. Saying you are going to accept a date or go on a job interview is something you can actually do, and something that you may consider to be demonstrating confidence. Whatever your change of behavior is, make sure it is something you can actually change. 2. If you are going to give up a behavior, decide what you are going to do in place of it. So, if you are going to stop showing up late for work, then you are deciding to be on time for work and demonstrating your value of being punctual. 3. If you are going to make changes, really nail down WHY you want to make them. What is it about making these changes that is important to you as a person? For example, if you have the goal of weight loss, the reason this is important to you as a person may be because you value self-care. Knowing WHY you want to make changes is both your motivation and your compass for getting there. 4. Once you know WHY you want to make these changes, I strongly suggest setting small goals. If you set too high of goals you may not accomplish them and just feel worse. So, make the goal small, realistic, and guided by the the things you want to be as a person. 5. As Sherry mentioned, finding a counselor is sometimes a good idea if you really feel stuck. Any counselor who does work with goal-setting and motivation can probably help. Be well,Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know I'm ruining my life with a lot of the decisions I make.  I consistently tell myself I need to make some serious changes in my life, but I just can't seem to even though I really want to. Why can't I force myself to change?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2487
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello there.\u00a0 As you have courageously explained your soulful dilemma. I can appreciate the complexity of this situation.\u00a0 You have identified some key factors that may be contributing to your sense of feeling \"empty\".\u00a0 One, is the ultimate goal here able to be acquired from this arrangement?\u00a0 Are you trying to have your fulfillment with another woman while in the presence of your husband but not with him 'on her' as much or at all?\u00a0 Are you trying to ask him to be more passive participant?\u00a0 Perhaps be careful of not drinking too heavily... In the whole event, how do you want to feel intimate or connected ?\u00a0 Were you craving all along, him to really be all over you along with her?\u00a0 These are questions that arise; maybe not solutions.\u00a0 Its always good to be very clear with oneself of what is the ultimate target here... And always measure the potential danger..\u00a0 Peace - keith", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. \r\n\r\nHe and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2488
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello there.\u00a0 Thank you for sharing your heart here.\u00a0 I want to start off by saying, in kind of an ironic way, your struggle is something many people go through, I might say quite often.\u00a0 Many feel alone with one another quite frequently.\u00a0 THe reasons for feeling alone vary much between person to person.\u00a0 In reading how you presented things, I will just respond from how this strikes me.\u00a0 Sometimes feeling alone might be the result of not completing the second half of the equation; meaning that although people \"listen\" it wont necessarily equate the elimination of being alone. Instead, its when\u00a0you follow up by inquiring and listening to others that\u00a0you \u00a0may discover they feel and think and struggle just like you do.\u00a0And as a result, you discover you really were never alone; when people discover common struggle and feelings, we are connected.\u00a0 Second, we as humans are sometimes feeling alone because we may be lacking some self-acceptance.\u00a0 Not fully accepting myself or situation , can be in the way of feeling the presence of others or the hearing the voice of others too.\u00a0Or in other words, not bein\u00a0'ok' with\u00a0myself makes it difficult being with others. \u00a0Third; feeling alone may be us not clear on what we are really needing from another person?\u00a0\u00a0 These are just some thoughts to consider.\u00a0 Aloneness feels so real; and yet it has much to do with our perspective and view of things...\u00a0 we are all alone in a crowded world until we speak and listen more closely.Kindly-keith hughes M.A.\u00a0 keithcounseling.com ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I feel so alone. I have so many people around me, but it seems as they just listen and dont understand.  They say it will all be okay, or they don't listen to me st all.  Everyone says they are here for me but it doesn't feel like they are. Why do I feel so alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2489
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Feelings of anxiety can be scary and sometimes we're not aware of the triggers that lead up to moments of anxiety, i. e., heart racing, sweaty palms, sweating, shortness of breath. It's important to realize that in moments of anxiety our body & mind are experiencing a reaction from our primal or reptilian brain that is signaling the flight or fight response within us, which kicks the hypothalamus into action flooding our body with chemicals, like adrenaline or cortisol. \u00a0So, one way to work with anxiety is to find out what the triggers are that lead to anxiety, such as fear, stress. negative thought patterns, not enough food or sleep. Keeping a daily journal can help you track the patterns and triggers and once you identify the triggers you can ameliorate them by learning new skills & techniques and by reducing stress and getting enough sleep. One quick way to reduce anxiety is by taking deeper breathes, sometimes this is called belly breathing. When you breath in make sure your belly rises and expands and as you breath out the belly deflates. Many of us do shallow breathing up in our chest which does not allow for a full breath, and getting a full breath is so important as a tool to help relax us in times of stress & anxiety .\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Sometimes, I'm fine and can go out or meet people, but other days, my heart races and words physically cannot come out of my mouth. I've always thought it was normal and I was just nervous, but the other day, it took me almost 30 minutes of sitting in my car to find the courage to enter Target by myself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2490
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Scary thoughts can feel overwhelming at times as well as feeling quite real. I want to acknowledge how scary they can feel, but there is hope and new skills you can learn to work with these types of thoughts. The first step in working with scary or negative thoughts is to acknowledge that they are just thoughts and we can choose to follow the scary thought streams or work with cutting them off or ignoring them. I also realize that might seem really hard to do, but here's a good way to think about the brain and how thought patterns work. Thoughts arise in the mind all the time, our brain is a thought machine. Many thoughts drift by like clouds and we don't pay any attention while other thoughts arise and they trigger us in a particulate way, i.e., scary, angry, happy, sad, and when those thoughts arise we can chose to pay more attention to the thought which can lead us down that particulate thought stream that will lead to fear and anxiety. So, how do we work or stop those scary thought streams? One new skill to implement comes from the work of Rick Hansen, he wrote the book Buddha's Brain,\" he teaches that we need to give more energy and attention to the positive thoughts or positive memories we hold in our mind and pay less attention to the negative thoughts. Hansen asks us to imagine the brain this way, the brain is like Velcro with negative thoughts and like teflon when it comes to positive thoughts. There are reasons that our brain works this way, but I don't have time to go into all of that in this response. So, it's just important to remember we have to work at positive thinking, actually pausing throughout the day to focus on positive feelings and memories, \u00a0this will help the mind reinforce positive thought streams and help reduce negative thought streams over time. If a scary thought arises try to replace it with a happy experience for at least a couple of moments, and see if that helps reduce the negative charge connected with that scary thought.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Often times I find myself thinking scary thoughts and sometimes  I even scare myself into thinking that something bad is going to happen to me. Once it starts, the thought continues going through my head and I can't get it out.  How can I stop these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2491
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I think honesty is the right approach in this situation. Share with him that you looked at his phone, as well as sharing with him any fears or concerns that you're having about the long distance relationship. Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship and when doubt & distrust creep into a relationship it can undermine the long term health of the relationship. Hopefully, he will understand your concerns and appreciate your honesty. This also might be a good time to seek couples counseling to work on relationship & communication skills.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We've been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. I recently saw his phone and saw the people he texts the most and one of them was a  female coworker. I don't know how to approach this situation. How do I ask him about it?."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2492
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would check out agencies that offer affordable counseling based on your income or very low cost counseling sessions, i.e., Pacific Clinics, Hathaway Sycamore, Pasadena Mental Health Center, Burbank Family Center. If you google affordable or low cost therapy in your particular area you will find resources to help you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I suffer from adult ADHD, anxiety disorder, and depression. It has been difficult to find a doctor in my area and my primary physician won't help. I am unemployed and overwhelmed. What would you suggest I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2493
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Religious questioning is a complex and often philosophical topic, and these types of questions, especially around heaven, hell, and an afterlife can bring up a host of difficult & confusing feelings. What I want to focus on is the fear & anxiety you seem to be feeling that are deeply connected to your questions. Scary thoughts, negative thoughts, obsessive thoughts sometimes feel like they're out of control and there is nothing we can do to stop them, but I want to offer two techniques that might assist with your panic & anxiety.\u00a0The first step in working with scary or negative thoughts is to acknowledge that they are just thoughts and we can choose to follow the scary thought streams or work with cutting them off or ignoring them. I also realize that might seem really hard to do, but here's a good way to think about the brain and how thought patterns work. Thoughts arise in the mind all the time, our brain is a thought machine. Many thoughts drift by like clouds and we don't pay any attention while other thoughts arise and they trigger us in a particulate way, i.e., scary, angry, happy, sad, and when those thoughts arise we can chose to pay more attention to the thought which can lead us down that particular thought stream that will lead to fear and anxiety. So, how do we work or stop those scary thought streams? One new skill to implement comes from the work of Rick Hansen, he wrote the book Buddha's Brain,\" he teaches that we need to give more energy and attention to the positive thoughts or positive memories we hold in our mind and pay less attention to the negative thoughts. Hansen asks us to imagine the brain this way, the brain is like Velcro with negative thoughts and like teflon when it comes to positive thoughts. There are reasons that our brain works this way, but I don't have time to go into all of that in this response. So, it's just important to remember we have to work at positive thinking, actually pausing throughout the day to focus on positive feelings and memories, \u00a0this will help the mind reinforce positive thought streams and help reduce negative thought streams over time. If a scary thought arises try to replace it with a happy experience for at least a couple of moments, and see if that helps reduce the negative charge connected with that scary thought.\u00a0I would also suggest when you're having the thoughts about death take a moment to notice how you're breathing. Often when we are feeling anxiety we are doing shallowing chest breathing rather than taking in a full, deep breath or what is called belly breathing. If you take a moment to focus on your breathing and allow a couple of full breaths, bringing in the breath so the belly rises and then the belly natural falls as you exhale, just noticing the breath and practicing breathing can slow down the anxiety cycle as it begins. ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "Sometimes I can't stop thinking about life after death. I was raised in a religion that teaches that we will live on forever either in hell or in heaven. \r\nWhen I think of living forever (even if it is in heaven which should be good), I feel overwhelmed. I don't like the thought of living forever and ever and ever. Sometimes I just can't get the thought out of my mind and the thoughts lead to panic and anxiety. \r\nAm I crazy? I don't think these thoughts are normal."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2494
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You need to have an honest conversation with each other about WHY you both want a threesome. Evaluate the status of your relationship with each other. Are you having issues? Fighting? Not feeling satisfied with each other? How has your sex life been with each other? \u00a0If there are any problems, insecurities, issues, introducing something like this may only make your relationship worse.\u00a0Open relationships and threesomes rarely work out well. Sure, there are some who successfully live this lifestyle, but it only works when both people are completely secure in their relationship with each other, harbor no jealousies or insecurities, and aren't looking to someone else to satisfy needs that aren't getting met by their spouse.\u00a0Let me say that again: This is not likely to work out well for you if either of you are insecure, jealous, or looking to have needs met by this other person that you aren't getting from your spouse.\u00a0That empty feeling you're having - listen to it. Dig deep to find out where it is coming from. What thoughts are going through your head when you feel that way? You'll get the answer.The other thing that helps make something like this work is for both of you to listen and respect each other. If you don't like it that he paid more attention to the other girl, he needs to know that, and he needs to respect that. \u00a0If you're going to do it again, he needs to know what you're comfortable with and what you want. Set the limits before you're in the moment, before it's too late to take an action back. Turn it around and ask him what he would be comfortable with if it were a man instead of a woman.It is perfectly natural to be curious and want to experiment. A lot of people get that out of the way before settling down in a monogamous relationship. People who marry young and/or inexperienced may still feel that curiosity about things like that and want to experience them, but don't want to hurt their spouse. The REASON you are both doing this matters a lot. If there are problems in your relationship, this is likely to only make things worse.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. \r\n\r\nHe and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2495
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi there! It sounds like you have already started to answer\r\nyour own question by stating that you love cross dressing very much, and I am\r\nglad you enjoy it! Cross dressing is something many people enjoy, and there is\r\nno harm in it whatsoever.\u00a0My question to you would be: What is making you feel torn\r\nabout it? There is unfortunately still a lot of negative stigma associated with\r\npeople who express their gender or sexuality in ways that differ from the\r\nmajority. (And sometimes certain sexual interests are actually very common or\r\neven in the majority, but because people carry shame about being different when\r\nit comes to gender and sexuality we assume we are all alone!)Being a sexual or gender minority or someone who\r\nparticipates in kink or expresses their sexuality or gender identity in a\r\nunique and personal way often means suffering from something called\r\n\"internalized oppression\". We grow up being exposed to certain\r\nassumptions and beliefs about what is \"acceptable\" behavior and even\r\nface consequences sometimes if we don't \"fit in\" the way others tell\r\nus to. Even if those assumptions are harmful and wrong, we still internalize\r\nthem and feel guilty about who we are. There is nothing wrong with us, but\r\nfeeling stigmatized and isolated can lead to feelings of shame, embarrassment,\r\nor like something is \"wrong\" with us.But there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, so be proud\r\nof who you are and what you enjoy. You can continue to simply enjoy it\r\nprivately, or maybe you'd eventually like to share it with a partner or maybe\r\neven join a community with similar interests. I'll leave you with a quote from\r\ncomedian Eddie Izzard, who identifies as, in his own words, a \"straight\r\ntransvestite\": \"They\u2019re not women\u2019s clothes. They\u2019re my clothes. I\r\nbought them!\" Take care, and thanks for your question!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am a heterosexual male in my late 20s. I find myself wearing pantyhose, heels, skirts and other women's clothing in private. I am torn on how to feel about it. I enjoy it very much. I have had a pantyhose/stocking fascination and other kinky fetish interests since I was young. I have no history of sexual abuse growing up. I am currently single."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2496
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Divorce can be so disruptive in a child's life.I'd really need a lot more information about your situation before I'd feel comfortable offering any advice or suggestions. There are so many variables, and not knowing the whole story, any advice could possibly make your situation worse.I do see some positives, though.\u00a0One, you say you have a therapist. That's great! I hope you're able to talk to them about this soon. Still, they can't give you legal advice, and a lot of this situation may be dictated by the law. What your therapist can help with, though, is dealing with whatever situation you have to follow by law. If you can't change the situation, you at least need to learn how to cope with it better.\u00a0Two, you're 17. When you're 18, you're legally an adult and will not be bound by any custody rules or visitation plans in place.\u00a0Honestly, teenagers usually have a lot of say with the courts in custody arrangements. Since you didn't specify more on the situation, I have no idea what your specific situation is. Were your parents ever married? Are they separated or divorced? Was there ever a court hearing for custody? Not all couples have an official court order arrangement. All families are different, too. Was there abuse between your parents? Towards you by one of them? Does either of them have addiction issues, major health or mental health issues, or anything like that? You mentioned that you want to live with your mom, but didn't say why. Are you afraid to tell your dad you want to stay with your mom? Is mom the lenient and fun parent while dad is the more strict one, or is there something else going on? This isn't a decision that should be placed entirely on you, and it also isn't a decision that anyone else needs to make on your behalf without your input. But advice on what to do needs to come from the people who know more about your situation so they can help recommend the best thing for you.\u00a0Whatever you do, hang in there! 18 will be here before you know it. Focus on that. Freedom. College. Plan for your future that YOU control, and focus on making it the best it can be. Do not let the anxiety and depression cloud your thoughts and make you do something irreversible.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I'm 17 and I'm sick and tired of going back and forth. I'd like to stay at my mother's house. This problem has really affected me. I've had anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts and self-harm in the past. \r\n\r\nCurrently I'm going through anxiety and my thearapist is not available. How do I handle this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2497
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is completely understandable that you are struggling to forgive and forget this betrayal, and I'd like to echo the sentiment of Danielle Alvarez: infidelity takes time to heal from, so allow yourself to grieve and find the support you need. I'd highly suggest going to couples therapy and addressing all the issues that Danielle raised, especially whether he has expressed genuine remorse and is being completely transparent with you and is taking responsibility for the choice he made, including acknowledging the immense impact it had on you, your relationship, and your ability to trust him.\u00a0If you have doubts about being able to trust him, he needs to be willing to earn back your trust and do whatever it takes to do so. If he accepts this challenge, then that is a good sign you are on the path toward healing your relationship. Also, please don't ever forget that regardless of what led him to cheat, it was his decision to take that action rather than addressing whatever issues he was having in your relationship. Couples affected by betrayal typically have some underlying issue(s), whether it is a lack of connection or intimacy or another factor, and it is possible to heal and grow even stronger as a couple after betrayal. Because you are grieving, though, allow yourself to acknowledge and accept your feelings of hurt and pain, as they will likely come in waves, but the pain will lessen over time and with supportive therapy, along with the commitment to repair your relationship-from both you and your husband.\u00a0Also, in regards to your concern about hurting your children, keep in mind that parents model healthy relationship behavior for their children. If your relationship with your husband remains disconnected, untrusting, or bitter, your children will see that and not only feel sad that their parents are both suffering, but also grow up feeling that experiencing such ongoing pain is tolerable or even normal in a relationship. Having parents who learn to handle conflict or heal deep wounds in healthy ways is crucial for children's emotional and psychological development. Whether they see you heal together as a married couple or heal separately as loving but divorced co-parents, they will learn what it is like to expect healthy communication and boundaries in relationships, which I'm sure you want for your children! Take care of yourself, and I wish you much peace and healing.\u00a0Also, here is a good book I would recommend, along with books by Gottman, as Rebecca Wong suggested:Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Cheating is something unacceptable for me but because we have two daughters I decided not to break up the family.\nHowever, now I am struggling to forget and forgive what happened. I feel like I cannot trust him. Without trust, I cannot stay in this relationship. On the other hand, I do not want my children to get hurt. I'm not sure how to move forward?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2498
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Just ask him.I'm not sure how you saw his phone if you're in a long distance relationship, because long distance means you live far apart from each other and don't get to see each other in person. Therefore, I think we may have a different understanding of the definition of \"long distance relationship\" which makes it hard for me to adequately answer this question for you.I don't know how old you are, but if you're an adult, after two and a half years, I don't think it's unreasonable to have an open and honest talk with each other about where the relationship is going and what you both want and expect. Long distance relationships are difficult to keep alive because you don't ever see each other in person. Talking, texting, and video chatting isn't enough, and the longer the physical distance remains, the more difficult it becomes to keep an emotional closeness. It may be time to evaluate the situation, figure out when (if ever) the two of you will be able to be together in person, and if you can and want to wait that long. Do you both want the same things out of life? If one of you wants to take the relationship to the next level but the other doesn't, then it doesn't matter if it's long distance or not - if you aren't on the same page with the relationship, it is going to be difficult to make it work.Trust is important. Issues with trust, insecurity, jealousy, lying and/or hiding things from each other, being afraid to speak up and have an honest conversation - these things can ruin relationships if not addressed. I know confrontation of any sort can be hard for some people, but it is necessary at times. Evaluate your true feelings for him. Are you with him for reasons other than love, such as being afraid to be alone or thinking you wouldn't be able to find someone else? Has he ever given you reason to be suspicious of his female coworkers or friends before? Some people, unfortunately, develop a track record of indiscretions and give their significant others ample reason for distrusting them. However, if this is not the case, you may be unfairly judging his texting through the eyes of your own insecurities.\u00a0It may be time for you both to take an honest assessment of your own reasons for being in the relationship, figure out what you want, and make a decision. This may result in bringing the two of you closer and taking the relationship to the next level. Or, it could lead to a decision to end things. I know that can be difficult, but you both deserve to be happy and to be allowed to make the decisions that will lead to your personal happiness.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We've been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. I recently saw his phone and saw the people he texts the most and one of them was a  female coworker. I don't know how to approach this situation. How do I ask him about it?."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2499
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You're probably not going to like my answer.Your question says a lot about what YOU want rather than what she wants or what may be best for her. Sometimes, what's best for a person is the hardest thing to do, and may be completely opposite of what YOU want.Addictions don't happen in a vacuum. If you've had any experience with addicts at all, then I'm sure you've heard the term \"enabler\". A lot of the times, when people think they're \"helping\", they're actually enabling the addict to continue their self-destructive behavior. Tough love and clear boundaries are needed in a lot of situations, but especially with addictions. Family and friends are often the biggest contributing factor to someone choosing to use/drink, continuing to do so, or relapsing back into it.You said she recently quit. You said she is depressed. She wants to move. When a person receives counseling for addictions, they are encouraged to make changes like this. They need to break the habit, and this means removing people from their lives at times. It means moving to new locations. Anything that may trigger a relapse needs to be identified and removed. Not only that, but the addict needs to do a lot of personal reflection to figure out WHY they use/drink in the first place, and not only break the physical addiction to it, but deal with whatever is the root cause that led them to use in the first place. She may need some time alone to figure out who she is as a person, time to make some decisions for herself and do what she needs to do to be healthy.Don't pressure her to stay. Let her have the freedom to do what she needs to do. If she stays, the decision needs to be hers and hers alone. It doesn't need to be made under pressure. That will only lead to resentment. Support her, but don't try to change her or make her do anything, especially for selfish reasons. Let her go. It sounds like she needs some time to focus on herself right now. It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to do the same.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her?  I want her to stay."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2500
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The answer would require a more in-depth knowledge of you and your situation.\u00a0A lot of times, these feelings are the result of the people in your life treating you a certain way. You internalize it and accept it as your reality.\u00a0The first step is to evaluate the people close to you, especially your parents. Even if you are an adult, think back to your childhood. Children who grow up in an unstable home often grow up to be adults with insecurities and emotional problems. The obvious, such as being abused, can certainly lead to a person having little to no confidence and self esteem, but there are other situations that might surprise you to hear they can be damaging to a person.You may have never been physically or sexually abused, but what about emotionally? Were you yelled at, berated, put down? Were you told you'd never amount to anything? Were you compared to siblings and felt like you always fell short, couldn't live up to expectations? When you hear something over and over again, you start to believe it.Maybe you weren't yelled at. Maybe it was the opposite. Studies show that children who grow up with a parent who is depressed show signs of emotional neglect. A chronically depressed mother, for example, may have seemed cold, detached, emotionless. She may have been less likely to show interest in a child's life, not give praise for accomplishments or show support by going to ballgames or performances.\u00a0If one of your family members were chronically ill while you were growing up, chances are, a lot of the attention went to them, which could have led to your needs not being met.Any of these situations could cause a person to grow up feeling unimportant, unheard, unloved, or like they don't matter.Maybe nothing I've described here fits your situation. If you can't pinpoint what has caused you to feel this way on your own, a counselor can help.I am not saying \"blame it on your parents\" or telling you there's nothing you can do to change it! Quite the opposite! Understanding WHY you feel that way is a first step towards making the changes needed to feel better. Cognitive behavior therapy focuses on cognition - figure out the WHY. Then behavior - the HOW.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel like I hate myself physically and emotionally sometimes. How can I start accepting myself and be more confident?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2501
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Are you old enough to move out? Then by all means, what's stopping you?If not, is it possible for you to move in with another family member?If you're a minor, CPS may need to step in. They often do in cases of abuse. Your safety is the number one priority.It's difficult to offer advice without knowing more about your situation. But I can say this: Don't let other people define your self worth. You can choose NOT to allow him to make you feel anything. It really is that simple. By looking at it as a choice you make, you will be empowered to take control over your emotions and learn to feel better about yourself because your self-worth will no longer be defined by what someone else says about you or how they treat you.Let me say that again in a different way: Your self-worth is NOT defined by someone else. The way he treats you is a reflection of who he is as a person - not you. Don't take ownership of that!\u00a0I understand that if you are a minor, setting healthy boundaries and refusing to accept this kind of treatment can be difficult. Reach out to others for help. But if you are 18 and over, there is absolutely no excuse for you to be there having to put up with maltreatment. Put up some boundaries and create the distance needed to protect yourself emotionally. You owe it to yourself, and deserve to live a healthy, happy life. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My dad makes me feel like shit and like I'm worthless.  He calls me names and makes me feel depressed.  I want to move out because I swear if I stay here, I'm going to lose it. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2502
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I sympathize with you! It is actually quite common for one partner to have a higher sex drive than the other, and can lead to discord in the relationship. The good news is, there are ways to deal with this.You may have already answered your question. There are many medications that can alter one's sex drive. If your birth control pills are the cause of this, talk to your doctor about switching to a different brand. You may even consider alternate methods for birth control, such as condoms.However, there are some other things to ask yourself. First, you used the term \"affection\" but then talked about sex. They're not the same thing. There are different kinds of intimacy, and many different ways to show love for someone. A book you might find useful is \"The Five Love Languages\".Defining what \"affection\" means to you, and to him, and discovering all the ways you both can show this towards each other, may help lessen some of your anxiety over this.Humans are hard-wired to need appropriate physical touch. In fact, studies have shown that newborns/premies who can receive skin-on-skin contact with their parent can recover faster than babies who don't receive this touch. It's called Kangaroo Care.\u00a0Children who have grown up in neglectful environments where they're not hugged and kissed and shown appropriate physical contact can often be unable to show this to their partners and children when they're adults. One question to ask yourself is, were you having intimacy issues before starting the medication? If so, there may be other, deeper issues at play here.For someone who has received the wrong kind of sexual/physical touch (sexual abuse, physical beatings) it can be difficult to allow someone to be physically close to you. A therapist could help you work through this.Sometimes, a person may lose their sexual feelings for their partner due to issues in the relationship. Once those issues are resolved, the sex drive comes back. Examine your relationship and see if either of you are unhappy, if you've been arguing a lot, or if there are any problems in your relationship that need to be addressed.Finally, look for the other ways that the two of you may be intimate in a non-sexual way. You may be doing things for each other that you don't even realize, and noticing these will help you appreciate it more. Take the stress off of the sexual gratification and focus on showing your love in other ways. Some people like to give gifts, do the other person's chores, or do other things they think the person will appreciate.If, after all of this, you still have a discrepancy with one of you having a higher sex drive, there are many articles online that offer advice for couples dealing with this situation that you may find useful. It is a very common issue for a lot of couples.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend shows affection, but I just push him away.  Every time my boyfriend tries to kiss, hug, or touch me I almost always push him away. I'm on birth control and it has killed my sex drive. \r\n\r\n I love him so much.  Why do I do this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2503
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\n\nFirst off, let's start with really\r\nvalidating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\r\ngenerally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\r\nall normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\r\nhealing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\u00e9,\r\na friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\r\nCan a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\r\nof an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\u00e9 had pieces of a solid\r\nfoundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\r\nchallenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\r\nyou and your fianc\u00e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\r\nrelationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\r\nmove past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\r\nor years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\u00a0Good luck to you and your continues\r\nhealing and growth!\n", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2504
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Loving someone in the military is hard. My husband and I joined the USAF two months after we got married! How long do you expect to be apart? Do you have access to Skype or something similar? How far away from each other are you? Can you meet half way periodically? I have a number of military friends who have dates over the miles with facebook live. They pick a restaurant, order, and talk about their day. It's super cute and sweet. What are some things that you have tried?", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We weren't long distance until he joined the military.  I love him and I know he loves, me but it's complicated. He said he's not going to find someone else, but I'm afraid. How do I keep our relationship going?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2505
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed? ", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2506
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \u00a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \u00a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \u00a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the \"long haul\", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \u00a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \u00a0You say your relationship is \"good\", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \u00a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \u00a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \u00a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \u00a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \u00a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \u00a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \u00a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \u00a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \u00a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \u00a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \u00a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \u00a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \u00a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \u00a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \u00a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \u00a0You can't just tell him vaguely \"I need to trust you again\"; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \u00a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \u00a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \u00a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \u00a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \u00a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \u00a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2507
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry you're going through this problem of scary thoughts in your mind.None of us are able to directly stop thoughts from coming.What is possible is to question their value, accuracy, and believability.Maybe if you examine the thoughts which upset you, you'll be able to feel better by understanding that the thoughts are not very relevant to your actual life.Also, another choice of what to do with the upsetting thoughts, is to redirect them. \u00a0When a stressful or frightening thought shows up in your mind, give it a happy resolution. \u00a0 Basically, turn the fright into something pleasant or at least bearable.I hope this helps you at least a little bit!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Often times I find myself thinking scary thoughts and sometimes  I even scare myself into thinking that something bad is going to happen to me. Once it starts, the thought continues going through my head and I can't get it out.  How can I stop these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2508
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have you told either of your parents that the current house rotation of where you stay, bothers you?Since each parent has an interest to be together with you, I imagine that to some degree, each cares how you feel.If these conversations are not getting your problem solved, then maybe your therapist can have a family session with your parents together and depending on the outcome, with you and each parent.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I'm 17 and I'm sick and tired of going back and forth. I'd like to stay at my mother's house. This problem has really affected me. I've had anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts and self-harm in the past. \r\n\r\nCurrently I'm going through anxiety and my thearapist is not available. How do I handle this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2509
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Are there dating sites for people who have autism on the high functioning end?If not, then find out the names of different organizations which support people who have autism. \u00a0At least one of these groups will have some guidance as to social activities for dating or even specific sites for dating when autism is a criteria.All the rejection on dating sites is rough for anyone to handle.How do you know that you're being passed over by guys who are on dating sites because you have autism? \u00a0 \u00a0Any reason is possible.Unless you've heard from a few particular guys that their reason for looking beyond you is because of your autism, it is possible you're in the same boat as everyone else who feels similarly frustrated by dating site rejection!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have high functioning autism and I have been on a lot of dating sites like meet me, match, and zoosk. I haven't had any luck on any of the dating sites I have been on.\r\n\r\n I really want a boyfriend but I don't know what I should do. I just want to be in a relationship. How can I meet someone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2510
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\u2014for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2511
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "OK first things first. We have to think of your safety and take care of those thoughts of hurting yourself.Yes, this is a major problem for you and can cause anxiety and depression. You have the right to be sick and tired. Kids often are pawns in this marital problems that their parents have. I'm sorry that this is happening to you.I am not sure of your rights in the state you live in but as far as I know you as a 17 year old you have the right to stay where you want.\u00a0So your'e going through an anxiety episode and your therapist is not available. \u00a0If I'm the therapist we would have already set up a plan so that if you are in this situation you would know what to do. In the worst case scenario you would be able to contact me.But I would have given you several exercises to help reduce your anxiety.Staying with your mom should be your choice. I know you probably don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but there are ways to ease the tension. Maybe with your permission and their agreement, we all could meet together for a session or two to ease your tensions and get over and through this hassle.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I'm 17 and I'm sick and tired of going back and forth. I'd like to stay at my mother's house. This problem has really affected me. I've had anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts and self-harm in the past. \r\n\r\nCurrently I'm going through anxiety and my thearapist is not available. How do I handle this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2512
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi there,I first want to let you know that having these thoughts is completely normal. Studies have been done that show that 80% of human thoughts are \"negative\" so you are not alone.\u00a0I like to think of thoughts as a tornado... if you are in a tornado, you are completely consumed by it and it is nearly impossible to do anything beneficial. However, when you are, let's say, a mile away from a tornado, it is still scary but you have the option to do something that is important to you such as get shelter or make sure your family and friends are safe.\u00a0When unhelpful or scary thoughts arise, we tend to start a \"war\" with them, which is the equivalent of jumping into the tornado. This makes the thoughts and emotions bigger and intensifies the feelings that go with them.\u00a0So the question I imagine you have is \"how do I get out of the tornado?\" There are 3 steps to doing this:Get distance from your thoughts by adding \"I am noticing I'm having the thought that....\" to the front of them. For example, \"I am noticing I am having the thought that something bad is going to happen to me.\"\u00a0 \u00a0The purpose of this is not to decrease your fear or get rid of the thought. These thoughts might always be there and that is okay because that is how the mind naturally works so struggling with that is a waste of time and energy. The purpose is to gain some distance from the thoughts so you don't get swept away by them. You can imagine them floating along like leaves in a stream or clouds in the sky (and often the same thought will come back again and again but that's okay... just continue to notice it with curiosity). I imagine the thoughts get in your way of doing what really matters to you so if you can get a little bit of distance, you can do things that are fulfilling and meaningful to you.\u00a0Tune into your body and notice what sensations come up and where you feel them most intensely. Then breathe into them and make room for them. Our 5 main emotions are: joy, sadness, fear/anxiety, shame, and anger. ALL of these emotions are part of being human and there is no escaping them. So again, struggling with them ends up intensifying them. Instead, let them be and make a little bit of room for them. Often a side effect of this is the intensity will decrease but it might not. The purpose is to keep them from becoming more intense.\u00a0Contact the present moment. Notice what is happening here and now. One way of doing this is tuning into the five senses. What are some things you hear, see, taste, smell, and feel? Another way is to notice what is happening in your body (without trying to change it). How deep are your breaths, what is happening with your heart rate, are you cold/warm, etc?Implementing these three steps can help you to refrain from getting caught up in your unhelpful thoughts. Unfortunately there is no way to get rid of thoughts or feelings completely. So the only option that works in the long run is to accept them while continuing to do what matters to you and what is fulfilling to you.I hope this helps!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Often times I find myself thinking scary thoughts and sometimes  I even scare myself into thinking that something bad is going to happen to me. Once it starts, the thought continues going through my head and I can't get it out.  How can I stop these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2513
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, Counseling provides an area for people to speak to an unbiased professional about their concerns to address their unique needs. While length of time varies, counseling is a process and can be done from as little as one session to multiple sessions. Counseling provide a safe, non-judgmental, empathetic atmosphere from a professional helper provide the service\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Does counseling really do anything that can help people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2514
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You should start by speaking with her about what has her so down. Have their been some significant events in her life that have affected her? Have their been significant events in your relationship that can be affecting \u00a0you both? If she just stopped drinking, she may be struggling to finding an alternative\u00a0and healthier behavior. This is something the two of you can explore together. Also, if need be perhaps she can speak to a therapist to discuss her feelings about quitting alcohol. It sounds like you really care and right now she could use all the support she can get despite her pushing you away.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her?  I want her to stay."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2515
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Affairs and infidelity are tough areas to address. The power of the affair comes from the feeling of injustice that seems to have happened to you. The struggle I notice people have is with the forgiveness. Forgiveness is something that is asked of you from your partner but also you have the power to give. I assume you want to forgive or have forgiven. However, the forgetting part is difficult.\u00a0It seems that image of her happiness may have triggered something in you that isn't happy. I'm not sure how often you are triggered by her but it seems there is something there you need to process. The forgetting part sadly is difficult to put past your mind. However, it's being able to see the unfortunate situation they did and be able to walkthrough it even though it's painful. I think maybe speaking with a local therapist about this as it's often difficult to process alone. Also, see how you are feeling as days go on. Do you find yourself obsessed? If so, you may need to seek a professional counselor.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "It was over 20 years ago, but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2516
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This answer varies based on you relationship. However, I do believe their are some basic fundamental areas that are beneficial for a healthy marriage:1.) Effective Communication2.) Trust3.) Love/Passion4.) Loyalty.\u00a05.) Unconditional Positive Regard.\u00a0Everyone has their favorite qualities they feel best fit a marriage. However, these are what I think are great starting points.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "What makes a healthy marriage last?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2517
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The best way to get an answer is to just ask. I would defintely\u00a0let him know you are asking out of concern and not to judge or criticize. Allow him to explain his answer and see how you feel about it. Try to ask him when you both are already discussing other topics and just say, \"Can I ask you something?\"\u00a0Earl Lewiswww.RelationshipsGoneRight.com", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We've been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. I recently saw his phone and saw the people he texts the most and one of them was a  female coworker. I don't know how to approach this situation. How do I ask him about it?."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2518
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Counselling offers a number of ways to help one to improve their situation. \u00a0For some, this process can take a very long, winding path of self-discovery, while, for others, they are seeking a purposeful, solution-based way to approach and manage a specific problem. It's important to remember that there are different styles of therapy, some of which will work great with some, but poorly with others, specifically to help those to decide how they wish to move forward. I often recommend speaking with a number of therapists before beginning treatment to find out more about how they practice, in order to make sure their style aligns with your goals.\u00a0On a more specific note, there is myriad research out in the world that indicates both counselling and medication can have an affect on changing our moods and behaviours. \u00a0However, medication is not an effective way of treating the problem, as it treats the symptoms of that problem (increased anxiety, lowered mood, etc.) and research has shown that the most effective route for better mental health care comes from a combination of counselling and medication.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Does counseling really do anything that can help people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2519
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There are multiple ways that counseling helps people. The most basic is that it gives you someone to talk to about and through what you are facing. It is better than a friend because this is a space for your stuff and you get to focus on what you need and don't have to worry about the other side. This is also a place where you do not have to worry about how else the other person is involved in the situation. Beyond this basic level, a counselor will have expertise they can bring in terms of how people, including you, can effectively deal with this kind of situation. The counselor may also be aware of connections that you would not otherwise see. A good counselor will also recognize if and when you need other help or support in the situation. Why wouldn't you benefit from having someone walk with you in your journey to peace and wholeness.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Does counseling really do anything that can help people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2520
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sometimes we let our insecurities get the best of us, causing us to make some interesting choices.\u00a0Honesty is always the best policy, but honesty comes with risk. \u00a0Perhaps you may want to start with your family first, explaining to them what you have done and why. \u00a0Perhaps they can help you to practice talking about your insecurities with your friends.\u00a0Another way is to start, slowly, to dress more and more like yourself and your true body shape. Some of your \"friends\" may make fun of you, true, but then you must ask yourself...why do you want to be friends with people like that?\u00a0", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "On the first day of school I wore a bra that was too big so that it would look like I had bigger boobs.  I did that the whole school year and my parents never found out. But now I can never hang out with my friends at my house or invite them over because it would be around my parents and my friends would see there is nothing there on my chest. \r\n\r\nHow do I fix this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2521
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "A car accident can be a traumatic event. Especially, \u00a0if it was serious, you could have feared for your life, felt everythingvwas out of control and had normal reactions to an abnormal situation afterwards.\u00a0This may or may not be related to the traumas that you experienced in the military. If it is then it is possible that you will see a direct effect in triggering off PTSD symptoms. Even if it didn't, it is possible that the complexity of the two situations will interact inside you to be a combined response.\u00a0Having already been diagnosed with PTSD, this might be a good time to reconnect with the help system you had around military experiences and explore it a little bit about the new experience. The right exploration does not have to make things worse and can be a good source of prevention.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2522
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you have been struggling with this for quite some time, using many of the same coping techniques that feel tried and true to no avail. Often, we fall back on coping techniques that would be helpful in other problems (stress, social anxieties, etc.) for our depression, but the truth is that depression requires it's own little tool kit.\u00a0Depression is all-encompassing, and, based on what you've written, the symptoms are already affecting work and your personal life in myriad ways. \u00a0The best route forward would be to seek out counselling, admittedly, but if your insurance deductible is too high, that can be very expensive. I would recommend contacting your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) if offered by your employer. If not, you can look into community centres for counselling options, check if your doctor will give you a referral or your local religious organization.\u00a0If, however, you are motivated to get your depression under control, there are some great workbooks out there that you can use on your own or with your therapist (as long as your therapist is trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT), such as \"Mind Over Mood\". \u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been depressed for quite a while. I've been trying to work through it, and my boyfriend has been my rock. He is honestly the only person I trust enough to talk to about anything, but he decided to break up with me because of my depression. I cannot afford to see a therapist or anything, so he saw no hope in staying with me. My insurance has a $5000 deductible, so I\u2019m screwed. I've had everything from suicidal thoughts to trying to quit my job. I have no one. My family doesn't care about me; they kicked me out when I turned 18 a few years ago. I had friends, but they have all moved on with their lives and have no time for me. My ex-boyfriend is trying to help but is making things worse because every time I see or hear him, I break down into tears. I found out that I will never be promoted now because of my depression."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2523
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "A counselor can do a few things that can be helpful:1) Give you a space where you can explore what's in your head without worrying about being judged or punished.2) Help you better understand yourself, your choices, your motivations.3) Give you tools and information you can use to help create change in your life.\u00a0Ultimately, though, it's up to the client to take action, because action is what creates change. So, a counselor can't create change ... but they can facilitate and support it.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Does counseling really do anything that can help people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2524
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sounds like a lot is going on right now at such a young age. I'd start with discussing with mom your concerns and ideal situation. I'm unsure what prevents you from staying there, but whoever you are staying with, it should be brought to their attention. In regards to your anxiety attacks, deep breathing is always a benefits. I have a link you can use to help to do this online if you are interested. In addition, finding ways you usually cope with anxiety and what's worked before can help and if it isn't, exploring new way to calm you down can be beneficial. This is something you can speak with your therapist about going forward when they are available.In regards to feeling suicidal: I would call suicide prevention hotline (You can google them) if you truly feel the ideation is getting worse. They are professional agents who can speak with you about your ideation and help you through the process. Hope this helps.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I'm 17 and I'm sick and tired of going back and forth. I'd like to stay at my mother's house. This problem has really affected me. I've had anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts and self-harm in the past. \r\n\r\nCurrently I'm going through anxiety and my thearapist is not available. How do I handle this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2525
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi! \u00a0Great question. \u00a0I believe counseling does help people! Of course, I am a therapist, so I would think that! :) \u00a0Seriously - I think therapy and counseling allow us to understand ourselves, our motivations and the things that bring us happiness and discontent. \u00a0Therapy can create opportunities to try new skills and enhance positive attributes that are already present in someone. \u00a0I like to think of therapy as an unbiased \"aerial view\" of our lives. Someone outside can often help us notice things we might otherwise miss. Hope this helps!\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Does counseling really do anything that can help people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2526
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Such a great question! I'm so sorry you are struggling! You may be experiencing Intrusive thoughts. \u00a0These are thoughts that seem to come from no where and victimize us. \u00a0I can strongly recommend a book called \"When Panic Attacks\" by Dr. David Burns. \u00a0It helps you to identify the thoughts, and the help you create ways to counteract them! \u00a0There is another technique, called Thought Stopping. Thought Stopping can be as simple as saying \"Stop!\" loudly (if you are alone) or in your head, if you are in public. \u00a0It's a quick way to distract you from the distressing thought, and allow you to refocus. \u00a0I recommend using this technique, followed by some deep breathing, while visualizing something that helps you feel relaxed (a favorite place, a pet, etc.). \u00a0These three things in conjunction can be of great assistance.\u00a0One key component in addressing anxious thinking is building the skill of relaxation. \u00a0I recommend an App called Headspace which teaches relaxation through some simple guided mediation. Super easy to do, and a great way to begin to build relaxation skills. \u00a0Plenty of sleep and reducing caffeine intake can also be things to explore. Hope this helps! \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Often times I find myself thinking scary thoughts and sometimes  I even scare myself into thinking that something bad is going to happen to me. Once it starts, the thought continues going through my head and I can't get it out.  How can I stop these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2527
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sexual desire seems to be straightforward - I like someone and I become aroused at the thoughts of being intimate with them - but that idea does not always take into account other factors.\u00a0Stress can have a huge effect on our body and how it performs. \u00a0When we are overstressed, for example, we often find ourselves ill at the same time. \u00a0Can you think of any part of your world that may be causing you some additional stress? Additionally, focusing on your erection may also be increasing the level of stress you feel about being intimate, which could also effect your ability to get and maintain an erection. \u00a0While this may seem counter intuitive, it makes sense in the word of stress!Finally, it's never a bad idea to follow up with your doctor, as well. You did not mention your age or sexual history outside of this relationship, but it is always a good idea to check in with medical staff to make sure there is nothing physically responsible for changes in our body, as well.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I love my girlfriend so much. I get an erection even just thinking about her or seeing her.  But the two times we tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection.  We've only had sex once and it was a long time ago. \r\n\r\nWhy this is happening and what can I do about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2528
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is a term that reflects how many people are affected by the changing seasons, especially fall to winter. \u00a0Everyone suffers with some form of this (lessened activity levels, increased isolation, etc.) while some find that this time of year can put them into a deeper depression. If you have noticed that this happens frequently, there are some ways you can definitely help yourself going forward:1. Attend therapy to learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood. \u00a0It's important to stay within the therapy until you feel you have mastered these tools.\u00a02. Push yourself to interact more with your social groups and other positive activities. It's easy to go out and spend the day outside in the summer months, when the temperature is warm and the sun shines for long periods of the day, but it seems harder to find fun ways to spend your time when the temperature drops and darkness comes on so quickly. \u00a0Perhaps winter time could become the time of year where you and your friends have weekly board game nights, complete with hot chocolate and a fire?3. You may want to consider the purchase of a S.A.D. Light. \u00a0These are lights that expose you to additional ultra violet light to increase the vitamin D in our bodies, as well as the release of growth hormone (which releases when we wake up). There are mixed reviews of these products, however, and they can be expensive.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2529
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Light therapy is very helpful. You are not alone. The name for the condition is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). You might want to see a therapist to assist you putting in place a behavioral program to help change the way you feel.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2530
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 After stopping the abuse of alcohol, depressive symptoms are common. She may benefit from exploring why she wants to move and see if she would still want to move if she did not feel depressed. 12 step meetings can also be helpful.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her?  I want her to stay."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2531
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is something I have\r\nhad to address with individuals often since working with couples is one of my\r\npractice's focuses. \u00a0The answer can depend upon several reasons all which\r\ntend to be explored while in session. \u00a0If you or your counselor utilizes\r\nan integral approach, in which one of the main premises makes sure to check the\r\nfour irreducible perspectives (subjective, intersubjective, objective and\r\ninterobjective \u2013 also known as the four quadrants) in determining where the\r\nchallenges are, it then becomes possible to identify what might be contributing\r\nto or causing the challenge as well as offering up ways to address the\r\nsituation.In this case, from the upper-right\r\nor behavioral and physical perspective, we would want to make sure there is no\r\nphysical limitation or ailment meaning that you would need to visit your doctor\r\nand have the basics checked (such as blood pressure.\u00a0 We would also look at particular behaviors to\r\nsee if you are doing something with is effecting performance (such as\r\nmasturbating often or being influenced by pornography).\u00a0Next we would look at the\r\nupper left quadrant (thoughts, cognitions, identity, feelings) to look at what\r\nis going on here both during sexual activities and at other times.\u00a0 If you are worried about your job, your\r\nfamily or under immense pressure to perform at work or while intimate, this can\r\ncontribute to your situation.\u00a0 From there\r\nwe would turn to the lower left quadrant (cultural rules and tools) to see who\r\nyou have learned to interpret challenges that come up during sex and look for\r\nways to shift, update and/or reshape the way you view sex and its\r\nchallenges.\u00a0 It would be here that we\r\nwould see whether one is even comfortable using a service like counseling based\r\nupon how your family/culture of origin views the profession.\u00a0Finally, we would need to\r\naccount for challenges that show up in the lower right quadrant (systems, laws,\r\nrules of society) such as your economic ability to try services and products as\r\nwell as whether such services and products were even available.\u00a0 Once we have rolled through these areas it\r\nthen becomes possible to look at which aspects might need to be looked at\r\nfurther in a more meaningful way to help you change a perspective or if just\r\ngetting a blood pressure medication is all you need.To sum your question then\r\nof why you can\u2019t keep an erection we would need to look at your thoughts (look\r\nat your actual thoughts during the act as well as before and after), look at\r\nyour behaviors, look at your physical body for issues, look at where you picked\r\nup your rules and tools (culture) and look at your ability to access goods and\r\nservices.\u00a0 They all contribute equally\r\nand need to be taken into account.\u00a0 So - as you can see, there is no one possible answer to this, but several. \u00a0I hope this helps.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I love my girlfriend so much. I get an erection even just thinking about her or seeing her.  But the two times we tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection.  We've only had sex once and it was a long time ago. \r\n\r\nWhy this is happening and what can I do about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2532
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thank you for sharing. It seems like since the \"winter blues\" happens to you every year it may also be impacting your quality of life and possibly relationships. What you report sounds like you may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and is quite common to many from about fall thru winter seasons; but, also can impact folks during the Spring and summer months.The best care and treatment for SAD includes discussing it with your PCP (primary care physician), integrating light therapy (full-spectrum lighting) throughout home and workplace (where possible), psychotherapy, and possibly medications (e.g.\u00a0Wellbutrin XL, Aplenzin).Be sure to exercise good self-care and checkout the Mayo Clinic's website for SAD here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/con-20021047. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2533
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First off, I want to acknowledge the emotional pain you must be experiencing about not being able to experience an erection -- you're not alone. And, it took a lot of courage for you to post your query here. Below you will find excellent advice from skilled clinicians regarding your question and concern. If you haven't done so already I'd encourage you to checkout the Mayo Clinic's website on this very topic (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/con-20021047).Once you've ruled out any medical-organic issues with either your PCP or Urologist I recommend you work with a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and/or Certified Sex Therapist (CST) and do some psychotherapy around attachment/family-of-origin, intimacy, self-image, trauma history, sex history, pornography, etc. ). There is hope.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I love my girlfriend so much. I get an erection even just thinking about her or seeing her.  But the two times we tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection.  We've only had sex once and it was a long time ago. \r\n\r\nWhy this is happening and what can I do about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2534
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There can be lots of different factors contributing to this. Here are some possible tips:Consider if you know anything about what specifically is making you feel sad? If you're looking for activities because you cannot participate in what you like to do in the warmer months, consider finding some indoor winter activitiesConnect with others. One idea is to join a group (such as a book club) that meets regularly. This could give you something to look forward to regardless of the colder weather.Enjoy the sunshine from indoors. You may notice that sometimes looks are deceiving women is bright and sunny outside, but is also quite cold when you open the door. If you are staying inside for the day, consider allowing yourself to enjoy the sunlight without specifically considering that it is also cold.Consider using a light box. Certain types of light boxes are designed to help with the \"winter blues.\" You can find more information here:\u00a0http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/light-therapy/home/ovc-20197416Recently, one of the nurse practitioners that I work with has been checking a lot of vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels and she says the lower levels of these vitamins can contribute to feelings of less motivation or energy than is desired.Each of us has days when we are not thrilled about the weather and may be feeling sort of \"bummed\" or \"down.\" If you find yourself having these days frequently or for several consecutive days in the above strategies are not helping, consider talking with a therapist about more specific strategies that may be of help to you. Also, because \u00a0if everything you would see is likely to live in your area, they would be familiar with the weather patterns where you are and may have some tips that they use for themselves or With other clients.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2535
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thanks for asking this question. I know it can be really difficult to deal with issues like this.To answer your question, you might be able to get you brother some mental health help, even if he doesn't recognize that he needs it. In most states, an individual can request a mental health evaluation of a family member if that family member poses a danger to themselves or someone else, or if they are unable to take care of their own basic needs.You can always call 911 if you are concerned about his immediate safety (for example if you find him sleeping outside in below freezing weather. \u00a0As an alternative to calling 911, you might also be able to request an evaluation from an authorized mental health provider. \u00a0The deatsils of who you would contact vary from state to state. Here's a link with some additional resources:http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/someone-i-know-is-in-crisisHe's lucky to have a brother who cares for his wellbeing as much as you do.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in 12 degree weather.\r\n\r\nI was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. \r\n\r\nDo I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2536
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry to hear that your brother has been having such a rough time. He's lucky to have you on his side (although he may not always see it that way).As far as whether you can sign him in, that depends on a lot of different things.I would suggest that you Google the state and county that you live in as well as some phrase similar to \"crisis hotline.\" They can tell you how it works in that county. My guess is that you could sign him in as long as he met the criteria for admission at that moment, but I can't \u00a0be entirely sure.\u00a0You could also ask the person on the phone about financial responsibility. I have not heard of that being a problem, but I guess it would depend on insurance.If you have trouble finding a local \u00a0hotline, consider calling the national crisis number (800-273-8255) and ask them to help you find someone local.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in 12 degree weather.\r\n\r\nI was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. \r\n\r\nDo I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2537
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time.I wonder about how your friendships are in person. If you get along well with people and have effective conversations with them face-to-face, there could be some kind of technology-related problem.Have you tried gently talking to people about how you send a message and they didn't answer? If you can phrase it in such a way that they recognize that you are asking for information and not blaming them for not answering you, that could be effective.I'd also encourage you to consider how much this is bothering you. If it is causing a significant amount of anxiety (say, more than 5/10 if 10 is really anxious), I would suggest talking with a local therapist.In the meantime, consider talking about this with someone you trust to whom you can get more details to get a more specific answer.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. \r\n\r\nCould it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2538
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Teenage years are rough for anyone, and this is a time for self-discovery and experimentation. Having older parents can certainly pose challenges. Most kids feel like their parents don't understand them, but yours are older than the average parents of teenagers. They're from a completely different generation than you are. It sounds like they love you, but may not understand you. The problem here is the generation/age gap, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. What you can do is accept the situation and perhaps look at it a little differently. It seems like you're looking for affirmation from them, looking for their approval and understanding. It's never a good idea to look to others to define who you are or to get a self-esteem boost. Who you are and how you feel about yourself needs to come from inside, not from outside. One way you can have a better relationship with your parents is to stop looking at all the things you aren't getting from them that you want, and rather look at all the things you are getting from them. Yes, this is a glass half full or half empty point of view, but it works. The negative will overshadow the positive if you let it. Start looking for the good things in your relationship with your parents and your feelings towards them will become more positive.I'm not sure how your friends/peers made you feel like your childhood has been taken from you. That's a curious statement, and requires a deeper conversation to understand where that came from. However, I do understand feeling different and out of place, especially in high school. Find the strength within yourself rather than looking to others in your life to make you feel better or feel like a complete person. It helps to have friends and loved ones, but you can never rely on them to fulfill all of your needs. Set some goals for your future, work towards them. Focus on being the best YOU that you can be, and the right people will enter your life at the right time.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\u2019t believe me, then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\u2019t believe me either. I\u2019m a pansexual, but I can\u2019t trust my own parents.\r\nI've fought depression and won; however, stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems, which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine, when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2539
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The best way to handle anxiety of this level is with a combination of appropriate medication given to you by a medical doctor, and therapy to help you understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are causing the anxiety.  This is not something that anyone should just \u201cwhite knuckle\u201d and try to get through on their own with no help.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a technique that has been proven helpful for depression and anxiety.  This takes a therapist trained in CBT.\u00a0You will learn to recognize when and why you perform the behavior of hitting your head, help you deal with the underlying cause of this, and replace the behavior with a more positive behavior. You'll learn coping skills.You mention having a rough childhood. Anyone who has experienced trauma like this, especially long-term ongoing trauma from abuse of any kind, definitely does not need \"exposure therapy\", which is what is recommended for phobias. You need a therapist trained specifically in trauma informed therapy.You are on the right path by recognizing there is an issue and what it is. Good luck with your healing journey!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young.  I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, \r\n\r\nI have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. \r\n\r\nHow can I help myself to change my behavior?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2540
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's difficult to move on and let go, especially when you've experienced things for the first time with someone, or feelings you've never felt before, as you said.I like the fact that you are looking at your situation \"logically\". \u00a0Feelings can take time to fade, but you seem to understand, even if it is subconsciously, that it's the feelings he stirred up in you that are keeping you tied to him, not necessarily the person himself. Realize that you can and will experience those feelings again with another person - the RIGHT person. Don't hold onto someone who is wrong for you just because of something like this. You're wanting those feelings and wanting a relationship - but with him necessarily? Or with anybody? You said you don't want to be without your love for him - not you don't want to be without him. In fact, you said you know you need to be without him. It seems like it's the LOVE that you can't let go of, and the feelings. Not the person. Trust me, you will find that again. Take some time to let this fade. Don't try to force him or anyone else into a role that is meant for someone else. Cherish the memories and the experiences you had. Sounds like it's been a valuable learning and growth experience for you, but you have your own reasons, and I don't know what they are, for thinking this person isn't good for you. Trust your gut instinct and be glad you've had this relationship. Not all are meant to last. But all shape you into the person you are and will become, and all teach us important lessons.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before. \r\n\r\nI feel like I don't  want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in my life because the conditions surrounding our love are considered  \"wrong\" by a lot of people.\r\n\r\nHow can I get myself to just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2541
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This isn't something you can do on your own.\u00a0If you haven't already, you need to see a medical doctor ASAP to rule out medical causes for this. Many diseases, illnesses, and conditions can cause hallucinations. In the elderly, sometimes it's something as simple as a urinary tract infection. Some medicines may have that side effect as well.However, you say you've been hearing them since you were little. I have no idea how old you are now, but something that has been going on for many years does lead me to think it could be a type of schizophrenia. A psychiatrist could diagnose that after taking a complete look at your history, medical history, etc. There are medications that they can put you on that will help.\u00a0One thing that I find encouraging is that you recognize you're hearing voices. This means you are not so far into a delusion as to believe it is real. A lot of people that hear or see things that aren't there are not able to have the awareness that these things are not real. They fully believe what they're hearing/seeing. It's completely real to them. Because you have the awareness that you do, I feel this is a very good sign that with treatment you can live a normal life (assuming you are not already receiving treatment for it. If you are and are still hearing the voices, please know that medications often need to be changed and adjusted, and the voices may never completely go away but medicines certainly help dull them a lot. Always talk to your doctor when it seems your symptoms are getting worse so that they can make the necessary medication adjustments for you).If at any time the voices are telling you to do something, please go to an ER as this is an emergency. Sometimes people hear voices telling them to harm themselves, harm someone else, or do other things that are against the law. Do not try to deal with something like that on your own. There are people who can help.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. \r\n\r\nI know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop.  They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2542
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "1. She's an adult.2. She lives in your house? She follows your rules.3. What you're describing could be any number of things, but could potentially be a medical issue that needs attention. Thyroid issues, autoimmune diseases - there's a ton of medical possibilities for her symptoms. I'm not a doctor; this is a forum of therapists.4. I recommend the book \"Codependent No More\" which may help you navigate your rocky relationship with your adult daughter. You may be inadvertently making things worse by \"helping\" her which can instead enable her to continue her behaviors. Another book you may find helpful is \"Boundaries: Where you end and I begin\". You cannot control another person, especially an adult. The only person you can control is yourself. Tough love is sometimes needed, and she is an adult - treat her like one. Maybe then she'll act like one. If we were having this conversation in person, you would interrupt me at this point with a \"but...\" and then explain all the reasons why you can't tell her to move out, get a job, get up and cook or clean the house, etc. I already know that you have a myriad of excuses for things being the way they are. Yes, I said excuses instead of reasons, because that's what they are. You may feel stuck and like you have to take care of her, but you have choices - you just may not like them. I know that when children are small, parents' lives are focused around them (some more than others) and decisions are made around what is best for your child. But you said your daughter is an adult. The relationship dynamics must change if the relationship is to be a healthy one. I know how difficult it is to watch your child make life choices that you wouldn't want for them, no matter what that choice may be. As a parent, we want to force them to do what we think is \"the right thing\" but trying to do that only results in frustrations for everyone involved. Whether the issue is a hair color, a tattoo, a lifestyle choice, a job, or choosing not to work or take care of their health, or doing drugs, or drinking - the choice is theirs and theirs alone and so are the consequences of those choices.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "There is  just no communication at all between us.  She sleeps constantly all day (not at night).  She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat. \r\n\r\nShe has aches and fatigue, weight gain, hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her health.\r\n\r\nI don't know how to communicate with her.  She is not open to any suggestions. How do I get through to her?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2543
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Family members sometimes get Power of Attorney over vulnerable adults. If you had this, you could do something like that. I'm assuming that you don't, though. There are steps family members can take through the court system to get someone involuntarily committed, but it is a long process.\u00a0I deal with situations like this everyday on the job. The only time an adult can be committed against their will is if they are deemed by the doctor (such as at an emergency room) to be a threat to self or others. For instance, if he had suicidal thoughts and a plan to carry out the action, or if he had homicidal thoughts against someone else and a plan to carry it out, he could be placed on a short hold, but these holds only last for a few days. This still isn't a long-term solution.\u00a0An adult has the right to refuse treatment and the right to make their own choices, no matter how bad those choices are. If you have a way to get him to an ER whenever things like that happen, such as being found sleeping outside in 12 degree weather, it will help a lot. They may or may not do a short term commitment for treatment based on the situation that brings him to the ER, but it's a start. They can help set him up with appointments for psych and he can get on medications. You can help by taking him to appointments and making sure his medications get filled. However, you can't force him to take the meds, so this may be something that happens a lot. With enough of a paper trail of many ER visits and that sort of thing, you'll stand a better chance of getting a court appointed psych ward stay.\u00a0Some tips about ER visits: Don't send him alone. Always go with him or have someone go with him, because you will be able to give the treatment team better insight into what's going on than he will. He may say everything's fine and he wants to leave, so they won't have any reason to keep him if that is the case. Go with him.\u00a0If you do get Power of Attorney, take the paperwork with you when you go to the ER and to doctor's appointments because they aren't just going to take your word. They need to see the actual paperwork. Having it on file in their system isn't good enough because paperwork expires, etc. Take it with you at all times. You can also compile his medical records and that sort of thing to take with you so they can see a full history of what's going on.Keep in mind that if you do get Power of Attorney, this makes you his guardian and you have to take care of him. Otherwise, you can get reported for vulnerable adult abuse and neglect. In fact, your mom ignoring and not helping may already put her at risk of that because she is willingly doing nothing to help someone who clearly needs the help. She won't be financially responsible for the hospital or doctor bills, but should be held responsible for his safety. Someone should. There are group homes for people with schizophrenia. \" Being responsible\" for someone doesn't mean you have to pay their bills, it just means you are going to make sure they get the care they need. That care may be placement in a long-term care facility like a group home or a nursing home. Psych inpatient hospitals aren't long-term, so you do need to look into other long-term options. Psych inpatient stays are temporary and are to stabilize him, they're not where someone stays forever.Good luck, and keep up the good attitude! Work with his treatment team. Ask for a social worker. If they see family that is wanting to do the right thing and wanting to help, they'll help you even if it does take a while to get things sorted out. The worst thing any of you can do is NOT go to appointments and that sort of thing.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in 12 degree weather.\r\n\r\nI was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. \r\n\r\nDo I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2544
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "No, that's perfectly normal. You're under 18, too. You're only a year older than she is. This is absolutely normal. What would be wrong is if you did anything to her against her will. Always remember that NO means NO, respect her, respect yourself, and be a normal teenager! Have a healthy relationship. Holding hands, kissing, and more should only be done when both are comfortable with it and agree to it. Although it is frowned upon by a lot of people, it's no secret that teenagers do have sex (even if their parents and perhaps religion would definitely not want them to do it). Only you can make the choice that is right for you. Just be responsible in the choices you make. Some states have laws on what age is old enough for consensual sex. You'd be surprised how young those ages are. A 14 year old having sex with a 20 year old would be against the law, but someone the same age as her, or just one year older is not. \"Wrong\" can be defined in a lot of different ways, though. Is it against the law? No. Is it against your religion? I can't answer that for you.\u00a0You can, however, have a relationship that is not physical in any way. It's okay to just be with her and enjoy her company. You can hang out, watch movies together, go on dates, do whatever it is that both of you enjoy doing. Your relationship can be anything you want it to be.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm 15 and my girlfriend is 14. Am I a pedophile because I'm attracted to her and she's under 18?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2545
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First, thank you for sharing such deep personal information. It can be difficult to share such intimate information. To begin, it sounds likes your primary concern your desire to speak to someone who takes your mental health seriously. You've tried talking to your parents and your friends and neither have made that connection in the area you need. I'm sorry to hear that. it's unfortunate. However, I think a couple things can be done to try to address this.\u00a0If you want support1) Parents- Sit down with one of them and tell them with all seriousness that you need to talk about something that is affecting you deeply. Perhaps speaking to both can be too much for one room. If you try to speak to mom or dad by themselves, it may create that intimate atmosphere needed to understand where you are coming from.\u00a02) Friends: Like parents it can be difficult to speak to your friends about challenges with your mental health. When you're feeling down and anxious, friends can be great help or not their at all. With friends, it may be one of those things where you also need to create an intimate environment with one friend to speak to about your sadness and anxiety. If anything,\u00a0speak to the fact you're hurt and help them understand that if they can't understand the depressionIf you don't want support\u00a0Coping Strategies: Identify coping skills and strategy that help you when you're feeling down.\u00a0Ideas:A.) JournalingB) PaintingC) ExerciseD) MusicE) Reading AffirmationF) Listening To Motivation Videos", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\u2019t believe me, then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\u2019t believe me either. I\u2019m a pansexual, but I can\u2019t trust my own parents.\r\nI've fought depression and won; however, stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems, which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine, when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2546
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Absolutely. Your question shows that you are going through a lot of pain and I'm sorry for that. Many couples go through this disconnect and hope to come to reconnect before things get to a breaking point. What I think can help is the following:\u00a01.) Understand what his primary concern is2.) Understand what your primary concern is3.) What would you like to see different?4.) What would he like to see different?\u00a05.) Be honest about your concern with him having friends (Be ready for honesty)6.) Help him understand you feel alone without him feeling guilty.7.) Let him know how committed you are to making this relationship despite the two of you drifting apart.8.) Sometimes if you just acknowledge the elephant in the room.9.) Couples/Marriage Therapy", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2547
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sorry to hear your friends aren't responding to you. If these friends are in-person as well as online, perhaps going to them in person and asking talking to them about your concern. Perhaps it's the way you send messages or the way they are receiving them. if they say no, then a simple request to respond to your messages. Measure the result and notice if there are even small differences.\u00a0Also understand, why this is so important to you. Ask yourself, why it's so important for you to receive these messages from friends. What does it mean when they don't respond.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. \r\n\r\nCould it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2548
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "No. You are not a pedophile. You are both under the appropriate age where it would be seen so. Your both only a year a part so this shouldn't a worry to you. Like Frank said below, Pedophelia is a problem that won't apply to this situation.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm 15 and my girlfriend is 14. Am I a pedophile because I'm attracted to her and she's under 18?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2549
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "One of the most challenging areas for people to deal with is getting over the the person you have loved so much. It's a catch 22. You know mentally that it's not healthy to think about them. However, your feelings are still there. Moving on is tough. It takes time for feeling to go away. That's the thing, it's not the person you're trying to get over, it's the feeling and the idea of them that is that makes it difficult. You've learned a lot from the relationship and time will help.\u00a0Activity will also help. Are you actively living your life? If not, go out and maybe it's time to date and find new love. Grow with new relationships and it will help create focus on someone who may even be better than the love you previously experienced. You can do it!Earl Lewiswww.RelationshipsGoneRight.Com\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before. \r\n\r\nI feel like I don't  want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in my life because the conditions surrounding our love are considered  \"wrong\" by a lot of people.\r\n\r\nHow can I get myself to just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2550
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "To begin, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Like many of the professionals have stated, infidelity is a very difficult obstacle to move forward from. It's not impossible. While forgetting is probably the hardest part, forgiveness is something that can and will happen. There are things you can do to help yourself.\u00a0The first this is identifying what you feel is best for yourself and your children. That means being honest with how you feel being in this relationship on a daily basis and understanding how it's affecting you.\u00a0Second, how is your relationship affecting the children. Do you feel that by staying in the relationship\u00a0that it's affecting your daily interaction with them. If so, that' something to keep in mind.\u00a0Next, Really looking at the pros and cons of staying in the relationship. A specific breakdown of what benefits come with staying and what are the ramifications. Vice-versa for leaving. Include your partner. I think being honest with him and letting him know what you are thinking is could be a great option. At least you aren't keeping something inside yourself to manage. Rather, you are being transparent to them. Sometimes a couple can come to an agreement that it may be time to end things and other times it may be best to keep moving forward with a serious plan to how to move forward. Regardless, if you can't trust him and that feeling will never go away it's time to address it. Couple therapy can be beneficial as well as a therapist can provide professional counseling to you.\u00a0Earl Lewiswww.RelationshipsGoneRight.com", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Cheating is something unacceptable for me but because we have two daughters I decided not to break up the family.\nHowever, now I am struggling to forget and forgive what happened. I feel like I cannot trust him. Without trust, I cannot stay in this relationship. On the other hand, I do not want my children to get hurt. I'm not sure how to move forward?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2551
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - \"is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?\"\u00a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around \"Will their partner ever forgive them?\" \"Will they trust them again?\" \"How long will it take to regain their trust again?\"\u00a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.\u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2552
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should \"just move on,\" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2553
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about \"what makes a good marriage\" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: \"Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.\"\u00a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "What makes a healthy marriage last?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2554
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\n\nI believe that counseling (and finding a GOOD therapist)\r\nwill be of significant help when the individual seeking therapy desires change,\r\nimprovement, and overall growth. Most counseling involves homework and a level\r\nof commitment outside of session that also contributes to resolution of\r\nproblems and an ability to cope with stresses in a productive way. Here are\r\nsome of the key ways that therapy can help. \n1. Helps to define the problem and gain a clearer\r\nunderstanding of where it originates. Many people seek counseling because of symptoms they are\r\nexperiencing. These can include feeling sad, increased sleeping, substance use,\r\npanic attacks, self-harm, isolating one\u2019s self, academic decline, etc. Often\r\ntimes, people are not aware of what is causing these symptoms. Having a\r\ntherapist to help guide and explore why the symptoms are occurring and where\r\nthey come from will give individuals increased insight and awareness into their\r\nproblems. \n2. Allows for a safe outlet to vent.\nNot everyone likes to share their problems with close\r\nfriends or family members. Maybe they don\u2019t want others to know of their flaws.\r\nMaybe they don\u2019t want to burden others with their problems. Or maybe they just\r\nare not comfortable talking about themselves. And in some situations people do\r\nnot have the option of talking with someone they know because they have no\r\nfriends or family. While talking with those we know can help bring some relief\r\nit is also nice to talk with someone like a therapist who is objective and\r\nemotionally removed from given situations. Counseling gives a safe outlet in\r\nwhich one can express their personal feelings and thoughts without feeling\r\njudged.\n3. Counselors can offer various problem solving solutions.\n\nA good therapist usually will not directly point their\r\nclient in the direction they need to go. Counseling is about growth and\r\nteaching the client to identify triggers and use effective coping strategies\r\nthat will bring about emotional and psychological relief. Counselors will help\r\nclients to explore the various options available in given situation, based on\r\nthe client\u2019s needs, wants, and values and will help them to choose the option\r\nthat best fits with their desired outcome. \n4. Gives one the tools needed to cope with current and future\r\nproblems.\nMany individuals that seek therapy have never learned\r\ngood coping strategies. Perhaps they did not have parents or caretakers to\r\nmodel productive ways to cope or maybe the symptoms they are suffering from are\r\noverbearing and take away the energy needed to cope. Different diagnoses\r\nrequire different tools; however some are beneficial for any problem and any\r\nindividual. These include but are not limited to relaxation techniques,\r\nbreathing exercises, development of healthy routines, using mindfulness,\r\nimproving communication skills, and recognizing and changing maladaptive\r\nthought patterns. A good counselor will teach clients how to use these tools,\r\nwill often practice them during session, and will assign homework for further\r\npractice and mastery of the skills.\n\u00a0\n", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Does counseling really do anything that can help people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2555
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "One of the most difficult challenges we face is not being heard! It is incredibly frustrating and hurtful when others, especially parents, do not listen. While your parents surely love you and want to understand you, it may be difficult for them to fully understand your feelings and experiences. They are quite a bit older and have likely not dealt with some of the struggles that you face. I would suggest communicating your feelings to them about not being heard.\u00a0Talk to them during a non-emotional moment when the discussion is not already heated. In other words, do not wait until an argument ensues to have an open discussion with them about how you are feeling. Prepare them by asking them what time is good for them to talk. Let them know you have something important to get off your chest. Try and avoid using exaggerated or extreme language such as \"you NEVER listen,\" \"you ALWAYS say...\" and stray away from placing blame. Instead of beginning your statements with \"you\" try using \"I\" by letting them know how their behavior effects you. Finally, let them know that they are important to you and that having their trust and support would mean a lot to you. Perhaps giving them suggestions as to what you wish for and would like to see change would help them to better understand.I would also suggest that you seek guidance from a therapist, teacher, or school counselor if possible.\u00a0Most schools have counseling resources on sight in which a trained professional is available to talk with students looking for help.Best of luck to you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\u2019t believe me, then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\u2019t believe me either. I\u2019m a pansexual, but I can\u2019t trust my own parents.\r\nI've fought depression and won; however, stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems, which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine, when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2556
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello,It is completely understandable that you would not want people to know about your depression. I would first like commend you for realizing that you need to help with your depression by reaching out here. That is a great start, and you've taken the very first courageous step.\u00a0Depression can feel debilitating and overwhelming. Depression is also a very personal thing and no one has know but you and the therapist. The best way to begin learningand dealing is to pick up the phone and call a therapist or email a therapist and schedule a session.\u00a0The great news is that with professional help you can feel better and you will learn how deal with and manage the depression. There are many ways to help with depression that a therapist can teach you and help guide. You do not have do this alone. Asking for help and going to therapy is a strength! This can be done in a private and confidential setting.Depression should be treated by a therapist, in a safe, confidential office setting. The therapist can then discuss your depression with you in more detail to figure out the underlying cause, how long you've been feeling this way and identify what brings on these feelings.\u00a0There is hope and depression can be treated with great success, you CAN feel good again. Depression can be managed appropriately by seeing a licensed therapist. Often times therapy will offer relief because you would have someone there simply to listen to you, validate your feelings and listen to your story. The therapist will be able to offer professional insight and perspective on the situation and help you think outside the box.\u00a0The therapist can do many things with you, provide insight and offer many ideas to help you learn new coping skills and ideas of things you enjoy, encouraging you to re engage in hobbies you once enjoyed or even discover new things you may enjoy. There are creative ways to learn to cope too!Your therapist will also be there to support you, without judgement, at your pace, through the entire process. But the first step is finding a therapist and beginning to identify the cause your depression. Healing is possible and getting your happiness back is also possible.Feel free contact me for additional help or informationLaura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know I need to deal with my depression. But I don't know how and I don't want to tell anyone. \r\n\r\nHow can I deal with depression without telling anyone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2557
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First, let me express my support and compassion for what you're going through. Hearing voices can be incredibly difficult and can feel like you can't get a moment's peace, even in the privacy of your own mind. And not everyone will necessarily understand what you're dealing with, so I imagine you may also be feeling isolated or somehow different. Atta girl/boy on reaching out for help!\u00a0Many people find benefit to taking medications, such as risperdal, seroquel, and so on. These should be prescribed by a nurse practitioner or psychiatrist -- I do not recommend a primary care doctor venture into this area, as a general rule. Discuss the options thoroughly and insist on a good rapport with your prescriber, if you decide to go this route.\u00a0Some people are having results with a talk-therapist to develop coping strategies. There is a new and somewhat less conventional approach to challenging voices with a professional to assist you, rather than to suppress the voices, which medication will do. There is peer-run organization and a general approach that attempts to live with voices in a different way. \u00a0You can read about it in Living With Voices by Marius Romme. I have heard interviews but have not read the book(s) and can't speak to its efficacy.\u00a0No matter what steps you decide to try, managing your stress, sleep, exercise, healthy food is essential -- in other words, just the daily care and feeding of yourself should be included in all of your efforts and bears surprising benefits to your brain and emotional health.\u00a0Best wishes to you,Karen Keys, LMHC, CASAC", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. \r\n\r\nI know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop.  They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2558
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First, let me extend my compassion to both of you -- it sounds like you have a lot on your plates. Childhood trauma carries its negative effects into our adulthood and affects everyone who loves us.\u00a0Your question is brief, so I'll just try to give general answers as best I can. From my experiences treating many people with your boyfriend's experiences, the short, healthy answer is that you can't fix the situation and maybe not even be able to help. He needs a professional. Period.\u00a0What you can\u00a0do, is take care of yourself. With his background, it is not likely that he will be able to help you or take care of you in a healthy way. Your task needs to prioritize your own safety and well-being. Trauma and substance abuse are the definition of being out of control, unable to set and manage appropriate boundaries, manage his own emotions and behaviors. So your boyfriend is unlikely to be able to change in the near-term, certainly not without professional help. You might also benefit from help and support, to understand your own role in your relationship and how you can make changes in your life. I am NOT blaming you for any aspect of your boyfriend's behavior, only acknowledging that there are two people in every relationship. If you have accepted your boyfriend's drinking and violent outbursts in the past (by staying in the relationship), that is likely to perpetuate his behavior. And there isn't any way to \"handle violent outbursts.\" They shouldn't be handled at all, and if you have to be away from your boyfriend during his outbursts in order to be emotionally and physically safe, then that may be what you will have to do.\u00a0We can never really change anyone else. The only person we can change is ourselves. Sometimes our behavior changes the odds of another person's behaviors, but it doesn't control it. I would recommend that you work with a professional to first, ensure your own safety above all. Then make decisions about what behavior you are willing to accept or be connected to, and which you want to separate from. Whatever your boyfriend does in his life, you will be happier if you manage your own feelings, set boundaries, etc. Let me say again that you also would benefit from some good insight and support as you continue your journey.\u00a0Wishing you and your boyfriend healing and recovery.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We're in an eight year relationship. My boyfriend drinks a lot. He experienced childhood trauma. I don't know how to deal with violent outbursts."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2559
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, My heart goes out to you, your brother, and your family, dealing with a very painful and difficult situation.\u00a0In New York, you can't institutionalize someone else directly. You can, however, call the police or EMS. If they agree that he would benefit from hospitalization (and it sounds like they would), he can be held in the hospital for up to 72 hours, whether he agrees or not. Some hospitals will not hold a person that long, in spite of what we might want. I have seen many patients in and out of hospitals countless times, and it has been my experience that it can be extremely difficult to hold a person long enough to achieve good stability and an appropriate after-care plan. Hospitals in NYC tend to take a \"patch and release\" approach more often than I would like.\u00a0It's been my experience that family makes a difference. Assertive, knowledgeable, persistent family can improve the quality of your loved one's care. Hospitals are highly pressured to discharge people quickly but they can not discharge a homeless person without someplace to go. If your family is willing to accept your brother, that will be the path of least resistance for the hospital. If the family refuses, they will be forced to find another path for him. You can also pressure the hospital to refer to rehab after psychiatrically stablized (which may only take a few days) and that may give your brother more time to begin making clear-headed decisions.\u00a0If your brother has a psychiatrist, that person should be actively involved. I had a patient patched-and-released three times, in spite of my advocacy and him literally begging\u00a0to remain and stop his voices. We finally got a 90 day hospitalization because I strong-armed his psychiatrist into demanding that the hospital stabilize his patient. \u00a0If your brother has a history of non--compliance with oral medications, you can push the hospital for injection, which again will help your brother stay stable for longer.\u00a0Best wishes to you and your family.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in 12 degree weather.\r\n\r\nI was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. \r\n\r\nDo I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2560
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would want to know where do you put your needs? Often times we show people how to treat us based on how we treat ourselves. First identify how to practice good self care which can only happen when you are authentic and real about your needs and desires. You cannot pour from an empty cup and must take find the time to explore your purpose in life. It may be helpful to seek out additional support to work on your intrapersonal relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my 30s with 2 kids and no job and I'm behind on the bills. I've been trying everything with no results. I feel like everyone else  puts their needs in front on mine. I give intil it hurts and I'm afraid that I'm going to fail my babies \r\n\r\nI've been struggling for 5 yrs in a relationship with no communication and no alone time. How can I get some support?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2561
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \u00a0\"I\" statements \u00a0i.e \u00a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining, but I don't want to hear it anymore."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2562
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Seasonal depression can be difficult due to the weather being a primary trigger. Understanding that we have very little control over the weather, therefore we can focus on the things we can change. Exercising, meditation, guided imagery, and deep breathing can be beneficial to combat seasonal depression. It may help to join a support group and seek out therapy to assist you on this healing journey.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2563
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The best way to move on is to give yourself sufficient time and space away from your ex so you can heal. \u00a0That means no checking out your ex on social media platforms and no contact. \u00a0In order to move on and diminish the obsessions, help yourself recognize and accept that the relationship is over, and make sure to get sufficient support in processing all your feelings. \u00a0Once that takes place, it can be useful to explore and process with a professional the meaning of the relationship and to understand your part in what transpired.Sometimes people obsess because they have difficulties accepting what's already taken place and want things to be different. \u00a0The key to moving forward is to be loving toward yourself, to give yourself permission to grieve the loss, and to start cultivating new and healthy habits/patterns. \u00a0Reengage in your present life, ask yourself what you want your life to look like, and start creating goals and taking small steps to create the amazing life you want for yourself. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder.  How do I move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2564
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi! Thank you for your question. It's tough to be in a healthy and loving relationship when we believe we are not worth it. Quite often being in such a relationship is very uncomfortable as it goes against everything we believe about ourselves.\u00a0First, I want to say you are very brave to open up yourself to the relationship with this wonderful woman you met.\u00a0Second, I would like to invite you to treat yourself with compassion as you are entering this unknown territory for yourself. Doing something new and totally unfamiliar can be scary, so it's vital that you are kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that what you are doing is scary and uncomfortable and that it will take some time to get used to it.\u00a0Don't judge yourself and force yourself to feel a certain way. It's important that you are patient with yourself and tolerant of your discomfort. With time, space, kindness, and tolerance your discomfort and fear will start to dissolve. Invite your new partner to also relate to your feelings in the open and compassionate way.\u00a0The worst thing that you or your partner can do is to rush your feelings, pressure you to feel in a different way or to say that there is something wrong with you cause you feel a certain way. Please be gentle with yourself and celebrate and acknowledge every small victory. Every time you do something little, like holding hands or receive a compliment and it no longer scares you as it did a week ago - celebrate that progress!\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I've always thought that there wasn't much good out there for me. Now that things are actually going well, it kind of scares me. I spent most of my life feeling unwanted and figured I would be alone. I recently met a great woman who seems to really like me, and I don't know how to process this. It's bothering both of us."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2565
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi there,\u00a0I hear you, PTSD has a very\u00a0debilitating effect on your whole life. I know that from personal experience. Recovering from it is possible and doable!\u00a0First is step is to acknowledge to yourself that your PTSD symptoms are a normal reaction to an abnormal and traumatic event. The nightmares, the anxiety, the heightened startle response - are all typical human responses following exposure to a frightening event. It's important that you don't blame yourself or your body for reacting this way, rather approach yourself with\u00a0compassion\u00a0and kindness that you would extend a\u00a0friend\u00a0who is hurting.\u00a0The second\u00a0step is to start taking steps towards healing. I would really encourage you to see a counselor or therapist specializing in trauma recovery so that you have a guided, step by step support. But if this is not an option, you can begin your healing on your own using a step-by-step approach outlined in the book, Healing Trauma, by Peter Levin. It's a very hands-on book and even comes with a CD audio guide. It has concrete exercises that you can do to help you eliminate dissociation, feel grounded, and decrease your anxiety response. I have used myself and with my clients with great success!\u00a0You can begin your recovery journey now with this video with Peter Levin's approach to Trauma Recovery:\u00a0https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJDkzDMllcOne last thing, I suggest consulting with a nutritionist or a doctor to help you boost your healing with supplements, vitamins, and minerals. The stress from PTSD is very draining on the body, and you use up a lot of energy and resources, so at times of trauma supplements are quite necessary for recovery (Magnesium, Omega 3, Zinc, Vitamin C....etc)", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships.  I even lost my job month ago. \r\n\r\nHow can I get my life back?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2566
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, I commend you for your courage in taking a look at the role alcohol has in your life. It sounds like you're concerned about what happens when you drink too much and I suspect you already know the answer to your question about whether you have a problem or not. I imagine you would like to stop feeling guilty and would like to avoid cheating on your boyfriend or other negative consequences and maybe have a fear of being or becoming an \"addict\" or \"alcoholic.\" You might have a \"problem\" but that does not necessarily mean that you are an addict.\u00a0I don't have information to know if \"addiction\" or \"dependence\" or other words would best describe where you are with drinking, but it sounds like it's begun to have some negatives, so forgive me using words like addict, dependence and so on. I mean it more as a road map than a diagnosis. The feedback I'm writing here is very general and doesn't address physical dependence and many other factors that might apply to your situation. \u00a0One of the ways to think about substance (mis)use is to think of addiction as a disease of avoidance. Let me repeat that: it is a disease of avoidance. Your ultimate task in living a balanced life is to figure out what you're avoiding and develop other ways to manage those feelings, experiences, and so on. And of course, along the way, you may want to look at triggers, situations, biological vulnerability, social pressures, coping skills, relapse prevention planning and so on. Depending on where you are in your drinking, you might very well benefit from expertise and support.\u00a0Remember also that alcohol depresses our central nervous system and disinhibits us. That means that alcohol is often a substance of choice to relax, destress, calm down, etc. Also, it allows feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that we usually inhibit to be expressed. If you were unfaithful and often angry, that's your first signpost. For angry drinkers, it is often true that you don't drink and then get angry, you drink in order to express anger.\u00a0I recommend you find someone you can speak frankly with, who is knowledgeable about addiction. Wishing you the best health and wellness.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a female in my mid 20s.  Lately I tend to over drink and I've become a very angry drunk. \r\n\r\nIn the past, I have even cheated on my boyfriend while I was under the influence of alcohol. \r\n\r\nBut now, even if I don't do anything wrong and don't embarrass myself, I still feel really guilty after a night of drinking. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Does this mean I have a problem?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2567
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You're in a lot of good company and it's great that you're in a positive relationship. Congratulations!I often hear people talk about loving yourself and self esteem. We often seem to blame ourselves for not \"loving ourselves\" enough or put ourselves down for having low self esteem. It seems to me that since we are essentially socially beings and in fact, need each other for our survival, we really know who we are through our many interactions with others and with our environment. In other words, you can't just snap your fingers and voila! now I love myself, where there was an empty space or self-doubt before. We grow that warm coal inside ourselves through the friction of contact with others who value and validate us. \u00a0Allow yourself to be patient with yourself as you experience this new relationship. You are learning a new model of who you are and how you fit into the world. What a marvelous gift for you!\u00a0You may also have fears that the current joys may be temporary or unreliable. These fears of loss may get in your way, however understandable. If you are truly close to your companion, you can share with her that you are loving your relationship but sometimes fear it will go away and sometimes have trouble really trusting it. Such a conversation may bring you both closer.\u00a0Hang in there. You're working on co-creating a new normal with a great woman.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I've always thought that there wasn't much good out there for me. Now that things are actually going well, it kind of scares me. I spent most of my life feeling unwanted and figured I would be alone. I recently met a great woman who seems to really like me, and I don't know how to process this. It's bothering both of us."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2568
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is totally normal - you have a lot riding on this and you're invested! Think about why you feel so shaky - is it something about the therapist or their style? If so, it would be a good idea to talk with them about it so you feel more at ease. In any case bringing up your feelings about therapy in\u00a0therapy is totally appropriate and even necessary. Good luck!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2569
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would be more concerned with how is this being addressed in therapy. Therapy can be a rewarding process, however often times we do not pay much attention to the messages being sent to our bodies. I believe in somatic therapy which deals with our mind & body connection. I would think it may not be a question of normal or abnormal however if it is impacting you then you must pay attention to that. It would be helpful to explore the feelings you're having \u00a0with your therapist. It may be something that needs addressing to help alleviate those feelings or have a better understanding of why they are showing up when it is time for therapy.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2570
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thank you for your question. It's completely normal and natural to feel nervous before a therapy session. Many people report having felt this way.\u00a0I can't say enough regarding the amount of courage it takes to reach out and attend a therapy session. For many people, it can take weeks, months, or even years of contemplating whether to see a therapist or not before actually contacting one and attending the first session. It takes courage to want to work through any struggles you may be having or personal growth you aspire toward.\u00a0In your question, you mentioned that you've \"gone several times and are still feeling nervous and shaky.\" If you feel comfortable with your therapist and it's a good fit for you, I would suggest talking about this with your therapist. You don't have to struggle each time you have your appointment. Together, you and your therapist can work toward helping you have a different experience.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2571
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Everyone has different experiences going to therapy. Being nervous can be a typical emotion one might feel. Emotions are our body's way of telling us important information about ourselves. I would suggest talking openly in your sessions about this. That way you can process your thoughts and feelings with the guidance of your counselor. There are probably underlining emotions (fears or insecurities) that are being stirred up during your therapy sessions. Your counselor might suggest individual counseling depending on what you learn about your anxiety. In individual therapy you would have time to deal with your own stressors. As you address your issues, then you will have tools and skills that will be useful in addressing the couple relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2572
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi there,\u00a0Thank you for your question. It's absolutely ok to feel nervous going to therapy. I have experienced anxiety going to see my own therapist. There can be a few reasons why you might feel this way.\u00a0First, it is always unnerving to see a person who is a stranger and to share intimate things with that stranger. You mentioned it has only been a couple of sessions. Your anxiety might subside as you continue to see your therapist and grow more comfortable with him/her.\u00a0Another reason why you might feel particularly nervous is perhaps you are not comfortable sharing things. As children, we might have bad experiences opening up to others. Someone might bully or ridicule us, and that experience can stay with us for a long time, making it extra scary to share our intimate feelings and thoughts with others. If this the case, as you continue with your sessions and have positive interactions with your therapists, this anxiety will subside with time and you will re-learn that it is safe to share.\u00a0And the last thought why you might feel the shakes is perhaps you know that you need to talk about some past experiences or memories that are uncomfortable and difficult.\u00a0Regardless of the reason, it might help you to bring up your nervousness in your session and share how you feel with your therapist. Having an open dialogue about your anxiety with your therapist can help you resolve some of that anxiety and built greater trust with your therapist.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2573
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi there,\u00a0Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple.\u00a0The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet.\u00a0There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem.\u00a0If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to\u00a0assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I have been married for seven years, and in that time, we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly, I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2574
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi,\u00a0Break ups can be very devastating and even traumatic. Recovering from one is a process that is unique for everyone person and will take time. It's important that you don't compare yourself to others. Each and every person will experience this grieving process differently. Here are a few tips to help with your recovery:\u00a01. Make sure you surround yourself with people who love you and support you, friends and family. Even though you might feel like being alone, make an effort to be around them.\u00a02. Although you might not feel like it, try to take care of yourself as much as possible: eat healthily, get regular sleep, & vigorous or gentle exercise (depending on your mood). The last thing that we want to do when we are physically sick (e.g. flu) is to take care of ourselves even thought that's what we need the most. But when we do get that chicken broth, sleep and vitamins we recover much faster and with less discomfort. That's exactly the same when it comes to emotional\u00a0pain. Take care of yourself, keep\u00a0yourself strong and healthy so you can recover faster.\u00a03. As much as possible, put away reminders of the relationship. You might not be ready to throw things out, but try to put them away in a box in the storage or in a closet. And also block Social Media reminders. There is a lot of wisdom in the saying \"Out of Sight, Out of Mind.\"\u00a04. Once the initial shock and intensity of the break up wear off, try out something new. In a relationship, we often forget and give up on things that we always wanted to do or to try. Now it's time to bring out that dusty bucket list and start trying something new.\u00a05. If possible, change your scenery by going away on vacation with a friend or even by yourself. Changing your surroundings can really help you change your thoughts, mindset\u00a0and forget your ex even if just for a few hours. Even a weekend getaway with a couple of girlfriends can do wonders.\u00a06. In addition, to help you make sense of your past relationship and what went wrong, I would highly recommend seeing a professional counsellor or therapist.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder.  How do I move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2575
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\"Normal\" can be an insidious word to use because it can undermine your sense of worth. \u00a0It implies there's one particular way you should be behaving and can leave you feeling crappy and \"abnormal\" if you're not behaving according to that prescribed standard. \u00a0Instead, what I'd recommend is to pay attention to your emotional experiences when you're attending therapy. \u00a0Explore your feelings and thoughts without judgement and try to reflect and understand what's going on that's causing you anxiety. \u00a0Once you figure out the underlying meaning of the anxiety, you can figure out a way to handle it and action steps to take to diminish it. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2576
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello there.\u00a0 You ask about being nervous and shaky walking in to your therapy session and want to know if its normal? ...\u00a0 I realize there a few ways to look at this.\u00a0 I presume you weren't\u00a0anticipating feeling this way; and probably hoped to feel the opposite..\u00a0 Well, my initial response is yes, sure, it can be within reason to feel this way.\u00a0 Have you been in therapy before? Is this somewhat new? That could be part of the reason. But either way; new or not, I think when are entering into a meeting that holds potential evaluation of deep things about you and your heart and soul, it can cause anyone to tremble. The soul can be anticipating some things could be shaken up here, and it can feel scary to look at these things and then change.\u00a0 Looking deep at our life can feel daunting and scary; so your response just might be regards to potential growth trying to happen.\u00a0\u00a0 OR, is there something about the therapist you don't feel confident about?\u00a0 This too might be in play as a reason for your feelings...\u00a0 Maybe you lack confidence in that therapist ?\u00a0 Have you let your therapist know how you feel?\u00a0 That would be good to explore...I would like to encourage you to look at these ideas.\u00a0 Hope it helps.\u00a0\u00a0 Let me knowKindly,keithkeithcounseling.com", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2577
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's normal to feel a little anxiety--after all it's an important encounter for you. \u00a0My suggestion is to discuss this with your therapist, let him/her know how you're feeling, especially if you feel as though your level of anxiety is impacting the quality and benefit of your sessions. \u00a0You might try some relaxation techniques prior to starting the session, deep breathing, progressive relaxation, core muscle dis-engagement--If you're not familiar with these techniques ask your therapist or write back.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2578
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have the two of you ever discussed how you feel? \u00a0I know given the nature of your question that's probably not likely, but I'm going to suggest it any way. \u00a0He needs to understand that how you feel about this issue equates to not being as happy in the relationship as you could be or he thinks you are. \u00a0So start there, that may be more of an attention getter than \"you never listen to me\" yes I do etc. \u00a0Direct opener: \u00a0I'm not as happy in this relationship as I think we both deserve. \u00a0Pause, and if you won't let me talk about it then it's only going to get worse. \u00a0Then explain you don't feel listened to, you try to be a good listener but you don't feel you are getting the same in return. \u00a0If he interrupts put your hand up in the sign of a stop, then say please just let me finish. \u00a0You are right to raise this subject with him because a good marriage can't exist in a communication vacuum. In fairness to him, he needs to understand the seriousness of your concern and have a chance to do better. \u00a0If he refuses, \u00a0tell him you want to seek couples counseling then do it, with him or without him.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me. \r\n\r\nHow do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2579
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There are many possible ways dating your boss could go awry and jeopardize your occupational well-being so my recommendation is to hold off on presenting your boss with a personalized gift and instead focus on building attraction and romantic interest with someone who is not at the workplace. \u00a0Sometimes the element of power and unavailability can heighten our sexual interest but that doesn't mean it's a healthy idea to pursue someone who is in a position of power over you at your workplace. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been suppressing it for quite some time, but there are days when I can't make eye contact with her. I think she knows, and we both admitted there was some type of vibe, but the overall discussion was vague. I think she could possibly be dating someone that works with us. It's driving me crazy. As an act of expression, I have purchased a gift for her that's personalized. I haven't given it to her yet."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2580
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry you feel so alone and isolated, those feelings in and of themselves can lead to depression, stress and anxiety. \u00a0So job one is finding someone you can talk to. \u00a0A good friend or an open parent can be as helpful as a professional counselor, but if you don't have those, then by all means call your local Mental Health Association, suicide prevention, or go see your school counseling department. There are many of us now who do on-line, FaceTime, phone counseling so that is an option to consider in your situation. \u00a0On the other hand, \u00a0If you want to script a conversation with your parents (I'm a great believer in scripting) not that you're going to read it to them, but if you write down exactly what you want to say, read it over a few times before you're ready to have the conversation. \u00a0Why? \u00a0You'll be much more likely to do it if you're prepared, and you'll \u00a0have a better chance of saying everything you want to say in a calm but forceful way. \u00a0The same with your friends--you are probably a great listener and therefore attract people who want to talk--so you need to let these friends know you need something in return. \u00a0If you practice asking for equal talk time, then perhaps these friends will respond and surprise you, or if you make those demands you'll start attracting people who are looking for equality in friendships. \u00a0Now back to that script--first decide do you want to talk to both parents at once, or one at a time. \u00a0Then begin to write down the points you want to make such as: \u00a0 I love you, and I know you love me but I don't feel as though I can trust your love to be unconditional enough to tell you who I really am, and how I really feel. \u00a0Find your own words to describe your own feelings. \u00a0If I can help, get in touch. You are right to reach out starting here, there are no prizes for suffering in silence and, as you already know, little joy in going it alone.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\u2019t believe me, then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\u2019t believe me either. I\u2019m a pansexual, but I can\u2019t trust my own parents.\r\nI've fought depression and won; however, stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems, which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine, when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2581
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Recognizing that you're too dependent on your boyfriend can be a wakeup call and an excellent opportunity to work on your own personal growth and independence. \u00a0It sounds like it's time to explore and develop your own interests and engage in some activities that excite and challenge you. \u00a0If you have time, it could be useful to begin a new activity or class, cultivate friendships outside of your relationship with your boyfriend, and begin to reflect and meditate on ways to enhance your own personal fulfillment.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. I've been really sad lately and for the past few months I've realized I'm just way too dependent on him.   It makes me really upset to be so dependent on someone else, but I can't help it. I don't even know who I am without him.\r\n\r\nHow can I be less dependent on my him?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2582
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "In order to develop a better intimate connection with your husband, it's important to first cultivate a strong connection with yourself. \u00a0I would take some time to explore your own body, notice what feels pleasurable, and play with different ways to achieve orgasm on your own. \u00a0Explore your own willingness to be open emotionally, sexually, and to play and have fun.Once you've engaged in a process of self exploration, I would check in with yourself and be honest about why you're not enjoying sex. \u00a0Are there specific reasons you're not enjoying sex with your husband? \u00a0Sometimes the reasons might be of a sexual nature and other times there could be emotional blocks (or anxiety) or other reasons that prevent you from wanting to be fully open and let go with your partner. \u00a0From a sexual perspective, I would explore what you can do to increase your own pleasure, learn ways to communicate your needs in a loving way, and focus on pleasure and play (rather than outcome and orgasm). \u00a0 Begin by taking the pressure off orgasm and enjoy a naked massage together-- focusing on exploring what feels pleasurable. \u00a0Lastly, if you're wanting to learn new skills, check out a local sex workshop. \u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I have been married for seven years, and in that time, we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly, I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2583
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is absolutely a typical response.\u00a0 Many of my clients are nervous the first couple of times we meet.\u00a0 This is\u00a0essentially a stranger\u00a0with whom\u00a0you are sharing\u00a0your\u00a0feelings.\u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2584
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "of \u00a0I would love to know a little bit more about what's going on in your life but I will attempt an answer.Yes, you could still be shaky and nervous going to therapy. This therapy thing your doing is sometimes scary.\u00a0First, because your opening up things that you might have never wanted to.\u00a0Second, your still building a relationship with this therapist person. You may never get over that. The therapist really can't be your \"friend\". They are there to push the buttons that you might not want pushed and help you heal. \u00a0That in itself is scary and can make you anxious.\u00a0Third, you really never know where this therapy thing will go. Yes, there are goals. But sometimes side roads need to be taken and sometimes that is scary.Know this you are in the right place. You are taking steps to change.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2585
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. First, I am so sorry you are experiencing these feelings. They can be intense, I will do my best to offer some suggestions or thoughts that I hope will be helpful to you. There could be a number of things occurring. Therapy is a delicate, private decision and I would first like to commend you for the fact that you are not giving up, that you are working to figure this out, and make this work, it sounds like you are engaged and motivated to receive support from a professional,\u00a0your continued \u00a0dedication and motivation will take you far. I would first start by asking if you have discussed this with your therapist, if you feel comfortable enough telling your therapist what is going on, maybe inform the therapist that \u00a0that you feel nervous and shaky. I am a firm believer in open communication between the client and therapist as this builds a healthy therapeutic relationship that yields positive outcomes, if this can be obtained and well received. This is\u00a0YOUR time for healing and therapy should be a safe, supportive environment to not only process but to seek support and guidance from a professional who can help you move past the barriers. If you feel you are comfortable and able to speak to your therapist, that would be my first suggestion, is to tell he or she how you are feeling. If they know then they can help determine the potential cause and allow you to process and move forward. If this is left un resolved it will be hard for you to move forward. If you are not comfortable discussing this with your therapist, this may be something to take into consideration and worthy of thinking about: why you are not comfortable speaking to the therapist. I understand this is difficult. If I may offer one more suggestion, breathing exercises are very beneficial. Remind yourself what you are working to achieve, close your eyes in a safe moment and breathe in and out slowly, in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth with pursed lips. Breathe in for approximately 5-10 seconds, then let it out slowly. Be sure and do this when you are in private, and feel safe environment. When you begin, I suggest putting your hand on your stomach, over your belly button to feel yourself actually taking in those deep breaths. I know it may sound kind of silly but they really work and are\u00a0incredibly helpful. We often forget to breathe, especially when we\u00a0 are feeling anxious. You are supported here and try taking yourself through the above thought process and breathing and practice the breathing several times a day. I hope this shaky and uneasy feeling eases. Wishing you the very best!Laura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2586
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "In general, our past is always somewhat alive and does inform our present experiences. \u00a0All past experiences, both positive and negative are what have brought you where you are today, physically and emotionally. \u00a0\u00a0That being said, your father's behavior does not have to define you or your future. \u00a0You have power over your life and your future. \u00a0By learning more about yourself, you can learn to incorporate your past into your present life, without being defined by past traumas. \u00a0The best way to grow and learn how to do this is to talk with someone about your experiences. \u00a0By talking about your past and present struggles with a trusted confidante or helping professional you will hopefully learn how to be at peace with your past. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have family issues, and my dad was both violent and a cheater."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2587
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If there is no one in your life with whom you feel comfortable, I would recommend identifying someone on this site, psychology today or goodtherapy.org who is in your area, then give that therapist a call to see if you would be a good match. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm  very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2588
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you and your boyfriend are very close. \u00a0Do you typically spend most of your time together? \u00a0If so, it may be important to reflect on how you feel when you are apart. \u00a0If any separation is difficult, you may need to examine why. \u00a0Think about what it is that you miss and what you are anxious, upset or worried about. \u00a0If you examine the causes of your distress you likely will experience some relief. \u00a0\u00a0It is important to learn how to be happy when you are alone, it will only improve the way you feel when you are with your boyfriend. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend is in Ireland for 11 days, and I am an emotional wreck."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2589
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Certainly.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2590
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you are reacting to an issue in communication patterns, rather than a particular word. \u00a0The ability to listen considerately to your partner and to have your partner listen to you is one of the keystones of a successful relationship. \u00a0If your partner is not listening to, acknowledging and remembering your wishes, that is likely an indicator of some fissures in the foundation of the relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend called me a particular profanity and I broke up with him. This is the third time he's called me this and I'm just completely done with giving him chances. He knows how much it bothers me. I just want to know if I'm over reacting."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2591
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "One of the sometimes difficult things about being in a relationship is the fact that you can make goals for yourself, but you can't make goals for your partner. If your fianc\u00e9 wants to learn to live more in the present and learn to let go of the past or move in a different direction, you can certainly assist him, but you can't independently make it happen.I wonder if both of you would be willing to have a discussion where he is able to explain to you what he is experiencing and you are able to listen for five, 10, 15 minutes in a way that is not blaming or pointing fingers or asking him to change, but just listening (kind of like an investigative reporter) so you can have more details and ask questions that you may have about what certain things mean, when it feels like to to him when this is discussed, etc. At that point, maybe he would willing to listen to your thoughts on the subject as well.Also, if he wants to make a change, it may be helpful to see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. Sometimes changes such as these require a great deal of personal awareness and there can be quite a bit of emotions attached, so it is often helpful to have someone there to assist.It may also be nice to have a discussion where you consider what makes you feel valued, appreciated, special, or loved, and also consider what makes your fianc\u00e9 feel that way.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the \"straight and narrow\" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past, especially  that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. \r\n\r\nHis insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2592
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Well, it's generally okay to feel anxious or nervous about going into therapy, particularly in the beginning because the process of being open about what you are going through, much less to someone who you don't know well, can be anxiety-producing. It's also common to feel anxious when you are discussing something that is important, difficult to discuss, or you are making changes that are very difficult for you.The most important thing I can tell you, though, is to discuss with your therapist this idea that you feel nervous and shaky. Some anxiety can actually help to motivate or lead you toward change. There are also level of anxiety that can be counterproductive, so it's a good thing to discuss. Personally, I can tell you that I would want my clients to tell me about anxiety they feel 100% of the time. That opens the dialog to discuss whether it is the level of anxiety that they want to sit with and learn about in discovering more about themselves and their experiences and/or whether they would like to do something to lessen the feeling of anxiety.Thanks for writing here. If it caused anxiety for you to do so, I hope that feeling is diminishing for you, at least related to writing here.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2593
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thanks for writing. There are many different house of things that may be helpful here. I can give you some general ideas, but if some of these things don't get you to where you would like to go, consider seeing a therapist who specializes in couples:Remember that you can only guarantee change in yourself. You can ask him to make changes, but you can't control whether he does or not. You can control your reactions and what you do about your own thoughts, feelings, and actions in the relationship.If you're going to talk about something important or you really want him to listen, first ask whether this is a good time.Try to talk to him without blaming, finger-pointing, or asking him to change (this can be difficult, but it also opens a lot of doors for effective discussions).Be mindful of your packaging. By that, I mean that you may have a very important message that you're trying to get across. If you able to say it in a way that is clear and wrapped in such a way that he can hear what you're actually saying, that is helpful. If you are talking in ways that are angry, or as I sometimes say, wrapped in spikes, that can be difficult to hear and receive. Rather than hearing what you're actually trying to get across, he may just hear the fact that you are angry.If your husband is able to listen to you and/or restate what you are saying and get it right or close to right, let him know what that feels like to you and how important it is.If you're asking questions, try to avoid \"why\" question and use \"what makes, how, when, where, who\" instead. Questions starting with \"why\" can not only be difficult to answer, but can also trigger a lot of emotions that some people are not ready to deal with right away.Also, keep in mind that listening and being able to reflect what you are saying does not imply agreement. This may be something that would be good to discuss with your husband \u2013 just because he is hearing what you're saying doesn't mean that he's agreeing with you.Lastly, but importantly, some people really don't know how to listen effectively. There are people who just are not taught to do that until much later in their lives. Sometimes listening to someone can actually be very vulnerability-producing. It may be helpful to ask your husband if he knows what makes him struggle with being able to listen if you notice that he's really struggling.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me. \r\n\r\nHow do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2594
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "For some people it's absolutely normal to feel nervous about coming to therapy. \u00a0 It's sometimes hard to share our emotions and feelings with someone --- no matter how warm and caring the therapist is. \u00a0 \u00a0 Are you comfortable with your therapist? \u00a0Is it a good relational fit? \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Maybe this is a good thing to discuss with your specific therapist at the beginning of your next session --- maybe they can help you find some strategies or tools to make it easier? \u00a0", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2595
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Breaking up can be a very difficult thing. \u00a0I'm sorry you're feeling badly. \u00a0 \u00a0The first thing is to be really sure you are taking care of yourself --- that means eating well, exercising, getting good sleep, spending time with friends/family and making sure you are taking care of important things like work, rent, bills etc. \u00a0 \u00a0Secondly, it's important to do things that make you feel better and not worse. \u00a0 If looking up your ex on social media makes you feel worse stop doing it! \u00a0 It's important to concentrate on you and not them. \u00a0 \u00a0Thirdly, it's super important to make sure you're really looking at the situation accurately and look for the good things that still exist in your life --- \u00a0what is still good? \u00a0 Even though your emotions are hurting and you are feeling\u00a0badly, can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? \u00a0Do you feel hope? \u00a0If you do try to concentrate on that hope feeling. \u00a0 If the obsessing continues and really gets in the way of living your life? \u00a0 Maybe contact a therapist\u00a0or counsellor that can help you through this difficult time?\u00a0", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder.  How do I move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2596
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. \u00a0 \u00a0Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call? \u00a0 Here is a website with some numbers to call: \u00a0https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-hotline-phone-numbers/ \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0You could talk to your family doctor and they could help you find a therapist? \u00a0 You could also use this website to find a therapist. \u00a0https://therapists.psychologytoday.com. \u00a0I sincerely hope you find someone to talk to. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm  very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2597
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Change your total daily routine, different route, different lunch, different afternoon.\u00a0 Sit outside for 10 minutes three times every day, use a therapy light during the day, aroma-therapy oils for stimulation, but....keep your routine bedtimes and wake up times......and exercise at least 3 times per week,\u00a0 if after several weeks you are not feeling better....talk with your doctor.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2598
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Unfortunately you can't directly change another person's behavior. However, you can give him feedback on how his not listening impacts you. The best way to provide feedback is in 3 parts. The first part is telling him the emotion you are experiencing when he doesn't listen, such as hurt, sad, and unloved. I would stay away from feelings such as frustrated, angry and irritated and use a more vulnerable emotion. The second part is what he does specifically to make you feel that way, be specific! Example: when I get home and tell you about my day and you don't look away from the tv. Be objective as possible when you describe his behavior. And the last part is the most important, tell him what you want him to do, and again be specific! Example: I would rather you turn off the tv, give me eye contact and reassure me about my day. Here is an example with all 3 parts together: I feel hurt when you don't say anything to me when I tell you about my fight with my friend, I want you to hug me and tell me you understand how I feel. Hope that helps!!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me. \r\n\r\nHow do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2599
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like there are issues with communication between you and your husband. \u00a0Your perceptions of interactions that you are having don't sound like they match up. \u00a0It would probably be helpful for you both to work on communicating using \"I\" statements (I feel----when you---). \u00a0This is a more effective way of communicating your needs than directly criticizing the other person. \u00a0If you work on communicating in new, less critical ways you both may learn more about your spouse's feelings and perspective. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "If I tell him I don't like certain things, he does when it pertains to me. He tells me it's not like that. He never has anything to say about me until I tell him something about himself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2600
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If you have only been to a couple of sessions, it makes sense that you might still feel apprehensive at first. Therapy is hard work! You may be talking about some things that you never talked to anyone about before. Opening up to stranger can be scary. After you feel comfortable with your counselor, and trust has built up and you feel understood in session, you should feel more relaxed. I would encourage you to talk to your counselor about feeling a little shaky. Sharing what the process is like for you is important in your work. If you still feel unsure about sharing after several sessions, it is important to take a look at that and try to understand where that may be coming from. For example, are you and the therapist not a good fit? But, again if you are just starting out in working together, feeling a little bit nervous makes perfect sense, and I encourage you to give it a bit more time and to talk to your therapist about how you are feeling.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2601
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sometimes we have difficulty keeping the past in the past. The best way to build a great relationship and have a great future, believe it or not, is to be firmly placed in the present. That means that when we stay in the moment with our partner and can notice what we are experiencing in the here and now we reap the best benefits of that relationship. We notice the good things that are happening in the moment. We are reacting to what we are experiencing in the moment, not reacting to a worry about the past. We notice, especially, who the person is right now and not who they were in the past. \u00a0We can connect with the things we love about them, too.I think it is great that you want to help him and the choice to stay in the present and move forward in the relationship will mostly be up to him. We cannot change another person. It sounds like couples counseling might be a great step for you because you can both learn the skills you need to stay in the present and also learn some helpful \"active listening\" skills so that you can really listen to one another and understand each other. Communication skills can really be helpful. You can both have the opportunity to hear each other and support each other. We cannot change the past, but we can create the future we want.Best of luck to you both!\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the \"straight and narrow\" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past, especially  that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. \r\n\r\nHis insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2602
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, it is completely normal to feel anxious about therapy. Therapy often explores topics and feelings that are uncomfortable. The ultimate goal of therapy is to feel better but the process itself can be uncomfortable.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2603
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is absolutely normal to be nervous about therapy. \u00a0Many people take years to make the decision to start counseling and although it is a safe place to explore feelings, it may be the first time you are facing certain issues. \u00a0It takes courage to face issues head on. \u00a0Being nervous is part of the process. \u00a0The fact that you are continuing to go to therapy sessions despite feeling nervous demonstrates your strength. \u00a0Keep it up!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2604
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Relationships can be extremely enjoyable and satisfying. \u00a0When relationships end, however, it can be devastating. \u00a0It is normal to go through a grieving process after a breakup. \u00a0Denial, bargaining, sadness, anger and eventually acceptance are all normal stages of grief. \u00a0You may experience these feelings all at once or one at a time. \u00a0Allow yourself time to grieve by expressing your emotions - talk to a friend or write in a journal. \u00a0Take care of yourself during this time by exercising, eating and sleeping well and spending time with friends. \u00a0After some time you should start feeling better. \u00a0If you feel like you're not feeling better and you don't know what to do, you can see a therapist to help you get through this difficult time.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder.  How do I move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2605
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that \"it only happened once\" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2606
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, feeling nervous for the first few or several sessions of therapy, is completely normal.Therapy is an unusual way to have a conversation with someone. \u00a0 The person is an expert in recognizing and understanding dynamics of human interactions. \u00a0 For some people the fear is that the therapist knows more about you than you do yourself.In general terms hopefully your therapist has worked with many other people who've faced problems similar to yours.In this sense the therapist has a general idea of the basic dynamics you most likely are handling.No therapist could possibly know your particular details and your particular areas of upset or in what ways you feel unsure of yourself.Once you start to trust both your own right to tell your particular story and start to also feel that your therapist is listening attentively and cares what you tell the person, your nervousness will start to disappear all on its own.Good luck in getting the most from your therapy sessions!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2607
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \u00a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2608
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Your patience with his pace of accepting your past, is the factor most in your control in this situation.Everyone accepts a new understanding at their own particular rate. \u00a0Yours may be faster than his pace.Since it is possible he may accelerate his pace of accepting your past if he knows that this is a priority for you, tell him about your own discomfort .Even if knowing how you feel does not motivate him to a quicker pace of accepting your past, you will have the peace of mind to know you gave him all the information you possibly had to give.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the \"straight and narrow\" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past, especially  that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. \r\n\r\nHis insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2609
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Does your husband want to listen to you?Find this out by asking him the question!This way you know whether the goal you'd like to reach is even possible.Some partners prefer that one person is the rule maker or the only one who is entitled to talk about themselves.If your husband tells you he wants to listen to you, or even that he does listen to you, then you can explain in detail the way you define \"listening\", which may be very different than his definition.Basically, no one can directly change someone into being more openminded.What is possible is to tell him your wishes, your willingness to be patient while he develops the habit of listening to you and point out that a relationship is more fulfilling when both partners feel they are receiving from the other one.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me. \r\n\r\nHow do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2610
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Therapy does not work overnight, oftentimes it is a lifelong struggle, the therapists job is not to \"cure\" you or to remove something but rather to make you strong enough to live your life with your own peculiarities and struggles, remember we are human and constantly fallible. Another important thing to note is that although you go to therapy, that is just a room, most of the magic and work takes place in your real life outside of that room.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2611
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This suffering and clinging to the past, especially a troubled past or a past that we dont like, may be\u00a0 amplified due to the Christian framework that may be built into your life. I am not averse to religion, i just think that many times it puts unreasonable expectations on us and helps us to form a guilt complex or perhaps even insecurities, we are humans and humans make mistakes. you mention the straight and narrow, this is a notion that you must give up on and let go, humans can never travel the straight and narrow for their whole lives there are bounds to be mistakes, we are the most fallible species on the planet and please tell your fiance to have some mercy on himself, he is not perfect. Here is a story about clinging on to things you may find useful to mediate on:Once\r\nthere lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal\r\nriver. The current of the river swept silently over them all -- young and\r\nold, rich and poor, good and evil -- the current going its own way, knowing\r\nonly its own crystal self.\nEach creature in its own\r\nmanner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging\r\nwas their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned\r\nfrom birth.\nBut one creature said\r\nat last, \"I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes,\r\nI trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let\r\nit take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.\"\nThe other creatures laughed\r\nand said, \"Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled\r\nand smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!\"\nBut the one heeded them\r\nnot, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed\r\nby the current across the rocks.\nYet in time, as the creature\r\nrefused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and\r\nhe was bruised and hurt no more.\nAnd the creatures downstream,\r\nto whom he was a stranger, cried, \"See a miracle! A creature like ourselves,\r\nyet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!\"\nAnd the one carried in\r\nthe current said, \"I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to\r\nlift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this\r\nadventure.\"\nBut they cried the more,\r\n\"Savior!\" all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again\r\nhe was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a savior.\n", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the \"straight and narrow\" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past, especially  that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. \r\n\r\nHis insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2612
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's hard when you feel as if you're the only one that's taking the time to listen to your spouse. But, I would look at this as an opportunity to see if you can become aware of what exactly is happening between you, when you try and talk with your husband.\u00a0Sometimes, it can be in the way dialogue is approached. I would suggest paying attention to the way you begin dialogue with your husband. See if blame and criticism are present. When blame and criticism are included, bids for connection, can quickly go off track. This can sometimes start off with something like: \"why don't you...\" \"you aren't...\" \"you don't...\" Partners can quickly go into defensive mode if they feel they are being attacked and sometimes starting off like this can feel like an attack. \u00a0Also, become aware of the time of day or evening when you approach your husband. Sometimes, this can make a big difference for couples as far as when they can truly be present for one another. \u00a0If you find this pattern continues, you might consider seeking professional help through couples therapy. A trained couples therapist can help you both understand more about what's happening between you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me. \r\n\r\nHow do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2613
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Feeling alone in your marriage is one of the most painful feelings. Wanting connection with your spouse yet feeling the all too familiar distance that's keeping you apart can be so hurtful. But, change is possible. You might be able to move closer toward each other on your own but since there has been two years of distance, I would suggest looking into couples therapy with a trained couples therapist. They are trained in helping couples begin to examine what's been happening that has caused a drift in your marriage.\u00a0I'm also curious if there was a significant event that occurred around the time you started feeling distant. If there was something that occurred during this time that is hard for you both to talk about, couples therapy can help with this also. It can provide a safe and supportive space for you both.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for 11 years. Within the past 2 years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has \"friends\" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for.  Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2614
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Dealing with a breakup is difficult. We have high hopes and then those hopes and dreams are dashed and we feel at a loss for how to deal with this sudden change in our lives. First, it is important to acknowledge that losing a relationship is a loss and we need to grieve that loss. If we don't allow ourselves time to process and move through the grieving process, we may remain stuck and it may make it hard to move on. So in some ways, you don't want to move on too soon by just trying to ignore your feelings. Instead, take good care of yourself, talk to friends and give your self time to heal. The second most important thing is to forgive yourself; this is also an important part of taking care of yourself. You might be blaming yourself and re-living moments when you wish you would have done things differently. By replaying those thoughts you remain stuck. When we begin to forgive ourselves, we truly begin to heal. Lastly, in my experience the people who have the most difficulty moving on have not really severed all ties with their ex. They are still following them on social media or even checking in with texts. This is probably the hardest part for some people, but to move forward there needs to be a clear boundary and a clear ending. If you have a clear ending, you can have a new beginning. I hope this helps. Take good care of yourself!\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder.  How do I move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2615
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I understand the feeling of not being liked due to not having any responses on the sites you list.More than likely the non-response has less to do with liking you than w liking the way you write your messages.Have you tried asking a question in your posts? \u00a0This would be one way to invite people to answer your post.When you write, \u00a0imagine yourself as the reader of the post.If you think about the wording of a question which would motivate you to respond, then this formula will very likely be the same for many others who read your post.Good luck!", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. \r\n\r\nCould it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2616
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Maybe this is emotional abuse.It certainly is irritating and annoying to be yelled at for being yourself.Maybe at a time when he's not yelling you can bring up the topic of your own willingness, if this is true, to discuss questions he has about your gender.There's no guarantee he won't start yelling midway through a dialogue like this. \u00a0Only then you will be on firm ground to excuse yourself from the conversation since you already explained that you're willing to talk with him and not to be yelled at by him.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My dad doesn't like the fact that I'm a boy. He yells at me daily because of it and he tells me I'm extreme and over dramatic.\r\n\r\nI get so depressed  because of my dad's yelling. He keeps asking me why I can't just be happy the way I am and yells at me on a daily basis. Is this considered emotional abuse?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2617
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google \"depression hotline\" for where you live. \u00a0And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google \"therapy' or \"therapist\".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm  very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2618
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "When \"threats\" of leaving, such as what you described in your question (\"kicking you out, wanting divorce\") are continuous in your marriage, it can start to erode at the foundation of your relationship, impacting both partners. And, if you're concerned about the influence of another male in the relationship, and are unable to express your concerns or fears to your wife, it's extremely difficult to build a secure functioning relationship.\u00a0From the information provided in your question, it seems as if there is some avoidance evident in your relationship. Avoidance of being able to express yourself and have honest communication about your relationship. If your wife is willing, I would recommend seeing a marriage counselor to help you both during this time. Or, for you to talk with an individual therapist, if marriage counseling isn't an option. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My wife and I got separated because I asked about her contact with a male friend of hers. The next day, she kicked me out.  She let me move back two days later. Yesterday, she said she wanted a divorce then quickly changed her mind. I asked if the other guy was a factor, but she says it's not my business."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2619
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "One key factor to consider is, are you able to repair after your arguments? It seems from your question that repair is lacking after any disagreement or argument. When couples are able to repair after an argument, they have an opportunity to learn more about each other's needs moving forward.\u00a0I'm also curious if you're having the same type of arguments over and over? If you're stuck in a particular pattern, and can start recognizing what happens between you when this pattern happens, then you can start to name it. Once you name it, then you can take a break to cool off and come back to each after your nervous system has had a chance to calm down (about 30 minutes). The key here though is to make sure you have a plan in place - when things are good between you - an agreement between you that when you both start to get escalated, you'll name it or have an agreed upon code word to signal you don't want to continue this cycle, and then agree to cool off and come back together at a later time. That way, when this is enacted during an argument, nobody feels abandoned during the cool off time. Rather, both partners know they will return at a time when they can truly hear each other and hear their needs.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've only been married three months. Every week, we argue about something, and it seems to be getting worse."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2620
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It takes a lot of courage to go to therapy.\u00a0 I have gone myself as a Counselor and know what that feeling is like. This is normal but hopefully you have become more comfortable with your therapist. This might be something to bring up to your Therapist and openly discuss (scary to do but its ok) this may even relieve some of your anxiety.\u00a0 If it continues, you may want to consider trying another therapist as this one may not be the best fit for you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2621
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thanks for reaching out. This is a great question. Communication is definitely a 2-way street. One person cannot participate in a discussion. It takes a talker and a listener. Furthermore, communication will breakdown if each party is only focusing on his or her agenda and is not open to what the other person is saying. \u00a0since I can't ask you questions about what is going on, I am going to make a guess at one situation that comes up a lot when I work with couples. One person focuses more on solving the issue, than listening to their partner. \u00a0This can be frustrating for the partner who wants to just be \"heard.\"I understand that you are working really hard to listen to him and he might not be putting as much effort into listening to you. That can be really frustrating and difficult and I want to acknowledge you for wanting to improve your relationship.One of the best strategies to gettting heard, is actually to BE A GOOD LISTENER to someone else. I know you are probably already a good listener and for you to work on listening skills may seem counterintuitive, right? You want to get heard and now you are the one doing the listening. But this can really create more effective communication if you invest time working on doing some active listening in your relationship because then you get to model those skills for your husband and allow him to see what it feels like to be listened to and then you can even teach him some of those skills. In other words, you practice specific techniques that you can use and then teach later on.\u00a0Here are some skills for you to use consciously and then you can teach:Pay attention and use your body language to convey that you are in the conversation. No texting or distractions. Lean in. Focus.Listen for content and for emotion. Clarify what you don't understand. Try to understand the person's underlying emotions.\u00a0Don't rush to judgement or to changing what is going on with the person. Sit in a place where you are really curious and want to understand what is going on.\u00a0Encourage the other person to continue speaking, Nod and vocalize that you hear what they are saying.Ask questions to get to understand the other person's point of view.I believe when we can model these kinds of listening skills, and the other person feels heard, they will be more likely to listen to us. If you don't find that this doesn't spill over in that way, then have a discussion about what you are practicing and that you are learning these skills to be a better listener so you can understand him better. Then explain how it might be helpful if you both tried it. If there is push back from him, set up a trial period to just try the skill, perhaps for 2 weeks and see if it helps. If communication is really breaking down, then it might be time to work with a counselor who can help with these skills.Best of luck to you!", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me. \r\n\r\nHow do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2622
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's completely understandable that you would have male friends and that you would want to spend time with them. \u00a0When you cross over from friends to a relationship, it does change things. \u00a0Some people are very easy going and wouldn't feel threatened by what you did \u00a0Others would be upset. \u00a0If your boyfriend is upset by you spending time with this male friend, then you need to talk about it. \u00a0Each of you needs to express your feelings about the situation and listen to the other with patience and respect. \u00a0Then you can make a decision on what is best for you and your relationship. \u00a0Maybe he wouldn't be upset if you saw this friend while you were with your boyfriend. \u00a0Or maybe your boyfriend would feel better if he got to know this person better and could trust him. \u00a0Most likely you can come up with a situation that will make both of you comfortable going forward. \u00a0You didn't do anything \"wrong\" because it doesn't sound like you intended to hurt your boyfriend. \u00a0But if you really care about your boyfriend, then you probably care about making him upset. \u00a0Instead of looking at this issue as a problem, try to look at it as an opportunity to connect. \u00a0If you can both listen to each other and understand each other, your relationship can become even closer.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2623
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thank you for submitting this question. I think this type of situation can be common for many couples struggling with how to keep friendships with past relationships while being in a new relationship.\u00a0For me, more information is needed here...but given the information provided, the way I interpret the question is...I'm assuming your boyfriend didn't know you were going to spend the weekend with your good friend? \u00a0Working off of this assumption, I would suggest beginning an open and honest dialogue with your boyfriend about what specifically upset him? And to talk about your point of view regarding spending the weekend with him. I would also suggest talking about how you both envision your relationship when it comes to spending time with others.\u00a0If you feel like you can't have this conversation without it going off track, please consider seeing a couples therapist. They can help you begin these important conversations that can help shape and develop the relationship you and your boyfriend long for. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2624
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Keep doing the crossdressing since you like it.Your problem sounds more a matter of timing and reason to tell the girl about it.Not keeping a secret is a good attitude regarding meaningful parts of your life. \u00a0Usually our relationship partner is someone whom we trust as a safe person to know all about us.Once you feel at ease with your potential partner then bring up your crossdressing. \u00a0Based on their handling of this intimate part of your life, you will know more as to whether or not you feel more or less drawn to them.Secrets held within a relationship usually get worse with time. \u00a0 The person who feels unsafe in truly being and stating themselves eventually will end up feeling ashamed of parts of them which prior to the relationship, felt good or at least not worrisome.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I crossdress and like to be feminine but I am attracted to women, but yet that seems to bother girls I date or ask out. \r\n\r\nHow can I approach them about it? should I hold back and keep it a secret, or should I just be up-front about it.  I wonder if i should stop or if I should continue to do it since it makes me happy.  What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2625
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Your question is very broad because feeling empty can develop for many different reasons.You're certainly not alone in feeling this way!Try to follow the logic of your feelings by asking yourself questions about the empty feeling. \u00a0 Doing this may open up a discovery about the reason for the emptiness feeling.When do you feel empty, are there certain situations it happens more often than another, what helps the feeling go away, what or who is helpful in relieving the empty feeling.Sometimes people need a little help to get started in understanding how to recognize their feelings.Consider a therapist, any disciplined practice which encourages self-knowledge, such as some yoga practices, and a creative discipline like photography or music.\u00a0As long as you concentrate on increasing your self-understanding, eventually you'll find the answer to your question!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing.  How do I stop feeling this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2626
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Sometimes its quite literally the lack of sunshine that can affect our mood - in these cases it can be worth experimenting with a sun lamp, to boost your dose of vitamin D, when the sun isn't naturally out. Also consider, what is it that the change in weather, changes in your life? If for example, when its sunny you are an outdoorsy, active person and when the weather changes, you're whole activity level changes along with it, you could explore how to get some of that activity replicated indoors in the winter months.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2627
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Therapy can feel very weird to begin with - think about it, how often do we go and tell a relative stranger our deepest, darkest thoughts in the rest of our life? So I think its reasonable to expect a certain level of nerves as you get used to your therapist and to the whole process of talking about yourself and vulnerable topics. That said, its definitely worth bringing to the attention of your therapist (if you haven't already) to see if there is anything that they can do, or that the two of you can explore together, that might make the process feel less intimidating to you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2628
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "That is a difficult situation and there is no right or wrong. You both need to discuss it and come up with a solution that works for the both of you. You want to spend time with your friend but your boyfriend \u00a0may feel betrayed by you spending quality time with another man you have been intimate with. There may be a way for you both to get your needs met. Maybe you only spend short periods of time with your friend, not a whole weekend. Or you check in with your boyfriend \u00a0periodically when you see your friend. It really depends on the two of you. If it becomes too difficult, you may need a neutral party to help you establish appropriate boundaries around this issue. Good luck!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2629
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line\u00a0https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org - they are great in moments of crisis.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm  very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2630
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm so sorry you're feeling like things will never get better. Try to remember that whatever illness you are dealing with, you are not the only person to have dealt with it and you are not alone! Out there, just waiting for you, is a group of people that will totally understand what you're going through and will be able to share how they coped. Try searching for a support group for your illness - google and www.psychologytoday.com are both good places to start for those groups.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I'm dealing with an illness that will never go away and I feel like my life will never change for the better. I feel alone and that i have no one. \r\n\r\nHow can I overcome this pain and learn to be happy alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2631
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You're among many millennials who live with their parents due to financial reasons.Does your mother mean rules pertaining to the way your family household organizes its daily or does she mean something else?Every household needs rules as responsibilities to keep the house clean, who does the grocery shopping, the way costs are distributed for this and all the other carrying charges \u00a0and tasks of maintaining the house in decent order, as well as respecting the privacy and noise level requests of others who live in the home.This set of responsibilities applies whenever more than one person lives with another person.Have you tried simply telling your mom that you're willing to be a responsible household member and that you prefer to keep the details of the way you live the rest of your life, to yourself?This would show respect to your mom and start the discussion as to the areas of your life you feel deserve privacy and how you would like to handle when your right to run your own life overlaps with any household duties.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\r\n\r\nMy mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2632
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have you asked your daughter why she's doing the behaviors you describe?Often the best way to find out why someone does something is to simply ask them their reason.Her answer will give you some guidance as to next possible steps.If she's pretending to be a fantasy figure or trying to find out how being taller feels, or walking on high heels or some other image then knowing this rules out that she has some unbearable pain in her arch which may require more practical answers such as new shoes or even indicate a medical problem.Ask if she's noticed any change in the way she walks. \u00a0\u00a0Maybe she doesn't know she's doing this and maybe she feels embarrassed to tell you she's doing something a bit odd.Since usually 12 year olds don't color, is it new that she started coloring?Maybe given the fact of messy handwriting, she's in a phase of pretending or reflecting on good times as a young child.Then this becomes the topic of examination.Does she feel insecure about being on the cusp of adolescence?Some of these questions can be asked directly and some are for you to first decide based on what you know of your daughter, which questions and what direction to take in understanding your daughter's motivation. \u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm concerned about My 12 year old daughter. \r\n\r\nAbout a month or two ago she started walking on her toes, as well as coloring and writing very messy. This all happened very suddenly. She has never walked on her tiptoes and has always colored and written very neatly. \r\n\r\nIs this something I should be concerned abou? Any advice will help."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2633
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First step always is to do a medical rule out so that you're sure the problem is psychological and emotion based, not a medical condition which requires care and attention.If you are medically clear in the reasons for losing your erection, then reflect on what may be creating a loss in confidence in either who you are and what you're doing with your life, or whether your wife has these sort of problems within herself.Often a problem transfers ownership of who shows it.If you are a sensitive person its possible your erection problem reflects your wife's insecurities and self-doubt. \u00a0If she is someone who is reluctant to talk about feeling unsure then in a certain way by you showing a problem, she can avoid looking at herself.There may not be a direct cause such as usually exists in a medical problem.Medicine looks for symptoms to treat.Our emotional lives are much more indirect.If you feel stress at work or are unhappy in the place you live, for example, then your frustration may show up in your sex life.Basically, do a broad inward search of your life and what it holds and maybe ask your wife to do the same.You may clear the air within yourselves and between each other so the problem goes away.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, \r\n\r\nNow I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent.  This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. \r\n\r\nI am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. \r\n\r\nWhat could be causing this, and what can I do about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2634
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It can be really tough to tell someone - anyone - that you're feeling depressed. But finding that supportive person that you can share with is a big part of the battle with depression. Depression thrives on being secret, it seems to grow the more we isolate ourselves and hide it away so I'm with Laura Cassidy, when she suggests finding that professional support person so you can start fighting back against your depression. If that feels like too big a step right now, maybe check out a book or two... I'm a big fan of a book called 'Feeling Good' by Dr. David Burns if you want some practical thoughts on tackling depression and on 'Radical Acceptance' by Tara Brach if you prefer something a little more spiritual.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know I need to deal with my depression. But I don't know how and I don't want to tell anyone. \r\n\r\nHow can I deal with depression without telling anyone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2635
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "That's a very difficult situation that you are in. But you are not alone. I have several school-aged clients who find little to no assistance from their teachers at their schools regarding bullying.There are a few options that are available to you to help deal with being bullied at school. One option that I would suggest is for you to talk to your support network. Friends and family can sometimes be good sources of support. Another option would be to speak with us about your counselor, if you have one. And third, there are some excellent online sources of support regarding the bullying at school (www.stopbullying.org).", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.\r\n\r\nHow can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2636
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "When I'm working with men with this type of situation, I always suggest a medical examination to rule out any type of organic reason for a difficulty in maintaining interaction. In cases where there is no medical reason for the loss of erection, I find that many men have a similar situation in experiencing negative intrusive thinking during lovemaking. My counseling approach for this situation is to incorporate the use of mindful sex.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, \r\n\r\nNow I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent.  This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. \r\n\r\nI am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. \r\n\r\nWhat could be causing this, and what can I do about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2637
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "A feeling of emptiness can be from a lack of awareness and acknowledgment for the things, the people, the places that you have in your life. The use of affirmation and gratitudes helps to remind ourselves of all of the aspects of our lives.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing.  How do I stop feeling this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2638
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This can be a very complicated situation. The boundaries of relationship include the rules to follow in the relationship. It is important to follow the rules of your relationship \u00a0in regards to each person being able to spend time with exes. If you and your boyfriend agree upon a rule about spending time with exes, then there should be no problem.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2639
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "For starters, know that this is a normal experience for many men at some point in their lives. While this can certainly cause some embarrassment, a diminished sexual esteem or relationship problems, it is important to know you are not alone. I am going to move forward assuming that you have already checked with a medical professional to rule out any medical problems that may be related to this. Assuming that is the case, for most this happens for two primary reasons. It is either a short term biological shortage of blood flow to the penis. This can be caused my diet, lack of exercise, even stress. Another primary reason for loss of erections are anxiety. Have their been recent relationship issues? Are you feeling as though you aren't satisfied in the bedroom? These are just a few aspects that can cause subconscious anxiety and loss of erection. My suggestion to you would be to seek out a counselor that specializes in sexuality that can assist you in moving forward with this.\u00a0 Best of Luck!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, \r\n\r\nNow I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent.  This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. \r\n\r\nI am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. \r\n\r\nWhat could be causing this, and what can I do about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2640
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck! ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2641
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It would be very helpful to identify with you eventual pattern where the\u00a0imposter syndrome is more or less present. Are there specific situations where you've noticed the feelings of \"I'm going to be found out as a fraud\" becoming more strong? It seems that shaking this feeling is very important to you. In my opinion, before shaking that feeling, we need to get closer to it and understand its roots. If you would like to get closer to the feeling, you might consider asking yourself questions such: \"What is the trigger for this feeling? How does it feel in the body? What is the thought process I engage with after noticing this feeling? All the best. Rossana Mag.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school.  I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published.  I am well liked by students and faculty alike.  And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. \r\n\r\nHow can I get over this feeling?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2642
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is not the case of being right or wrong, in my view. If you are asking, I believe you truly\u00a0care for your boyfriend. It seems like he is having difficulties in establishing trust in this relationship. The ideal would be to come closer to his upsetness and to show him that you are there for him. I hope all goes well. Rossana Mag.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2643
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Ideally you and your boyfriend will reach a balance point where you and your boyfriend are each happy with the level of involvement you have with your former boyfriend.Start w a discussion with your current boyfriend as to what specifically he doesn't like about your friendship with your former boyfriend.It is possible that you can answer his concerns as well he can find out from you more as to what the friendship is all about.As a therapist, I've never seen a former romantic relationship become only a friendship. \u00a0 As sincere as you may be in your intention to only keep the friendship with the former relationship partner, if \u00a0your former boyfriend secretly has romantic feelings for you, then at best, you've got an unclear friendship with this person.The obvious possibility is to socialize together with your current boyfriend and your former one. If neither guy would go for this, then this would show there is an undercurrent of competition for your romantic attention.Basically make your romantic partner's feelings and your own, the major considerations and discuss from this perspective.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2644
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First step is to remove the label of your behavior as a syndrome and instead understand the reasons for it.\"Imposter syndrome\" sounds like a name someone made up to write a book and have lots of people buy it bc it gives the feeling they know themselves by calling themselves this name.Instead, consider your own unique qualities including your fears of being recognized as adding value to people's lives.If you were told growing up that you're worthless, or if your chosen career goes against family advice and expectations, or if you simply are a shy person, then these would be the starting points to understand your reluctance to believe in yourself.The more you understand yourself and trust the truths you find as to who you are, the less you will feel fraudulent.Good luck in your career work!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school.  I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published.  I am well liked by students and faculty alike.  And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. \r\n\r\nHow can I get over this feeling?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2645
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There are different reasons why a counselor may seek to terminate with a client and these will each have different processes by which the counselor will come to that decision. Here are a few examples.\u00a0The counselor may determine that the client's needs are outside what the counselor is competent to be able to work with. A person may have come to the counselor talking about a particular issue but either when they first met or as counseling progressed, it may become clear that the issue is in fact something different or that there is an additional related issue. If that issue is outside the competence of the counselor, the counselor should look for alternatives, the most common of which would be to terminate and refer. Beyond clinical issues, this could also come up around particular other related facts, such as the culture of the client or linguistic issues. This could also be the choice of the counselor if they know someone that they feel would be a better match for the client's issues.\u00a0Another reason for discharge (and possible referral) would be if the relationship does not seem to be a good fit. No counselor is the right person to work with everyone. If the right level of connection is not happening, the counselor will often look first at what they are doing, might talk about it with the client and ultimately will admit that things don't seem to be working to allow the desired therapeutic process to work. A similar process would be followed if the counselor determined that the client might not yet be ready for counseling as evidenced by lack of engagement such as frequent cancellations, not doing any agreed on work between sessions, showing up late or being really guarded in session.\u00a0The easiest situation to decide on is when a person has met their counseling goals and have nothing new that they are working on. While this is the easiest one to determine, it is also probably the hardest one for the counselor as they may be like the client in not wanting the relationship to come to an end. However, counselors know that this is part of the process. They will also determine this by regularly reviewing the treatment plan or by sending in the sessions that the work has come to an end. This type of termination maybe final or may be with the intent that the client will return later to address other things that have been identified but for which they are not ready to move into.\u00a0All of these (and other) situations involves the counselor being open to the relationship ending, to monitoring how things are going, then engaging in self reflection, possibly talking with the client and then coming to a conclusion on which the counselor \u00a0follows through.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2646
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello,\u00a0There are many ways to approach a counselor and starting the process, however they all start with picking up the phone. \u00a0It's most definitely an uncomfortable feeling, but once that first step is taken it is often met with a wave of relief.\u00a0My recommendation is always to call and speak with a therapist over the phone before scheduling an appointment. Listening to how they converse, use their tone and inflection, may give you a brief insight to how they will respond to you and increase your comfort right away. You may also discover, rather quickly, that this therapist is not the right match for you.Regardless of how you go about it, I like to remind all people who call, email, text or walk-in, therapists are a bit like pizzas - if you don't like the toppings, send it back! There are hundreds of therapists offering all kinds of styles of therapy - take the time to pick one that suits you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How does a person start the counseling process?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2647
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have \"depression\".\u00a0Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future.\u00a0I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my late teens and live with my dad.  The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. \r\n\r\nSometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\r\n\r\nAre they right, am I depressed?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2648
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. Workplace stress is one of those areas of living that troubles many people who need an income to survive. The interactions between you and coworkers is a mixed bag, and sorting that out can be difficult. Also, if you are feeling under appreciated and not well paid, this can add bitterness to your lot of emotions. A few questions can be kept in mind as you work through your situation. Do you have the option of talking to your employer about your experiences and feelings with regard to your current work? Do you have local resources that you can use to find different jobs in your field? Do you have connections with employment counselors or agencies that can support you with strategies in dealing with workplace stress? These questions might cause others to bubble up, and could begin a new journey into a new field.While still at your job, what can you do to take care of yourself? Are you taking breaks? Do you eat lunch at the office, or do you go somewhere away from the office to eat? What do you do when you have a few moments to breathe? Understanding that you can indeed find even the smallest strategies useful for self-care, can help bolster your energy and give you some support as you move through the day. Seeking the support of family and friends can be helpful as well. Knowing your personal limits and when to pull back and take a break will give you a chance to recharge your mental and physical energy, thus helping you face the demands of your job.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.\r\n\r\nWhat can I do to manage my stress?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2649
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thanks for asking this question. I think the most important part of what you mentioned was that you do it because it makes you happy. For that reason, I would encourage you to keep doing what makes you happy.As far as telling girls or keeping it a secret, I don't really think that it's necessarily one or the other, at least not the first time that you meet. In other words, one part of your decision-making could be whether it is something that you always want to address in the first date, or perhaps something that you address after you've known each other for a couple of meetings. The answer to that question may also change depending on who you are dating. I would imagine that each person that you are with mainly due to a different decision this was when to disclose this.\u00a0It sounds like this is an important part of you, so I would think that if you were going to date someone long-term, you would want them to know about the most important parts of you, including that.I also encourage you to remember that if you meet someone who is not comfortable with this, that does not mean that there is anything wrong with what you are doing, but rather something that the other person is in some way deciding not to continue learning about or choosing to have someone they are dating like to cross-dress.I'd also ask you to consider this: Are the people who you say this to expecting it? My guess is that the answer is probably not. Along with that, Are they going to have questions? I would imagine so.Are you comfortable answering questions?I wonder if you could figure out yourself or with friends (or perhaps even with a therapist) how you would answer these sorts of questions:What exactly is cross-dressing?Does that change the gender that you're attracted to?What does it mean to you?Why is it important to you?And what you want your listening person to know about you related to cross-dressing.There could even be ways that you can start the conversation by asking them to be open to listen to you and ask questions about what they are thinking before they make any quick decisions about you or the relationship.I certainly hope that you find the right person for you. I imagine that having this conversation could be stressful, especially considering the idea that you have had some negative reactions in the past. Remember that talking this through with a therapist could be very helpful.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I crossdress and like to be feminine but I am attracted to women, but yet that seems to bother girls I date or ask out. \r\n\r\nHow can I approach them about it? should I hold back and keep it a secret, or should I just be up-front about it.  I wonder if i should stop or if I should continue to do it since it makes me happy.  What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2650
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Good for you to know your daughter's friendship circles and to notice when these have changed.While friendships are key relationships, they are not the only indicator of someone not developing normally.Is your observation and opinion that your daughter isn't normal based on other factors or just this one?If this is the only factor then start with reflecting on what circumstances may be influencing your daughter to socialize with younger kids.Has she ben ostracized or bullied by her peers and may be retreating to avoid further emotional hurt?Is she keeping up with her school work?Sometimes kids who feel overwhelmed by schoolwork will regress into conditions in which they feel more success and control.Are there family circumstances such as the death of someone with whom your daughter felt close? \u00a0Or, is there a new younger sibling in the family or a younger sibling who due to their own circumstance receives more attention than your daughter may wish for herself.Once you've reflected on which areas may be affecting your daughter, gently ask her some questions about her comfort with what you theorize may be the source of the problem.Its also possible that offering her your extra time and interest may increase her sense of self so that she feels secure enough to increase her social time with her age group.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of 10. She then started to act younger than she is. \r\n\r\nNow she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2651
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Recognize your reason for continuing to work for this place.Sometimes \"overworked and underpaid\" is tolerable bc of the valuable learning which the person will take with them when they've decided the time has come for these lessons to end.Or, are you in this place bc it is an easy commute to your home or fits well with other parts of your life such as education or some health related program?As long as you have a good reason to be there, you will feel there is good purpose.If there is no good purpose and every day you wake up to work for a place you can't stand, then its time to look for a new position.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.\r\n\r\nWhat can I do to manage my stress?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2652
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Probably a good portion of living like a recluse was necessary so you had time to rest and recuperate from so much major adjustment in your life.Have you told some of the people in your life about the many changes you've been through? \u00a0 It is possible people sense something different about you and aren't sure whether to ask or not ask questions.Also, understand what type of qualities you'd like to offer and receive in a friendship. \u00a0 Given that raising a kid who has autism takes a lot of energy and time, the way you socialize will change.Start with one person whom you're pretty sure would welcome you and whom you would gain by bringing them into your life.As a result of how this interaction goes, how you decide to spend your time together, what you'll discuss, you will know more about yourself and what you require to feel good around other people.Then, you can consider if you're ready to add others into your world.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him.  I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people.\r\n\r\nHow can I feel more comfortable around other people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2653
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "To be non-judgemental, know who they themselves are, be able to step forward and ask questions with ease and grace into painful emotional areas.Also to respect human difference in accomplishing basic life tasks and everyday living.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "What are the basic skills a good counselor needs to have?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2654
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept \"depression\" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way. \u00a0Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary. \u00a0Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my late teens and live with my dad.  The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. \r\n\r\nSometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\r\n\r\nAre they right, am I depressed?"}


