# embeddings_queue

created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2194
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "New York, New York...it's not your boyfriend's lying that concerns me the most; it's the lies you tell yourself. Verbal expressions are easy, but it's walking the walk that's more important in the end. When someone shows you what they're capable of, you can believe them. He's capable of being manipulative and deceitful, and he even lies as he's telling you he'll stop lying.\u00a0What you're doing is called denial; when you see evidence of something but you choose not to believe the evidence. He might love you with his heart, but love, in the end, is a verb and is based on respectful, loving behaviours.\u00a0My wish is that you start by believing in what you deserve.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend of five months expresses how much he cares for me and loves me, and I believe it. It has been one of the best relationships I have been in for a short period of time, but he has lied to me so much. He\u2019ll tell me that he'll stop lying, and while he\u2019s saying that, he's hiding something or lying about something. First, it was about a girl. He hid text messages and claimed she was a friend and it was a friendly conversation when it was a girl he once found interest in. Next was his ex-girlfriend. He put a fake contact name, and it was just friendly, but he lied to my face. All the time, he claims he never cheated and still expresses his love the same way and that he wants to change and do better."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2195
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "That sounds really challenging for both of you. Differences in sexual desire between partners is common and can create real friction and conflict. I would encourage you to do some couples counselling or sex therapy as often these issues can be worked through and low sexual desire can result from relational fears and misunderstandings or sex that isn't as arousing as is possible. There are some good videos on this resource page about sexuality and intimacy and a video that specifically addresses desire differences in relationships.\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My wife and I have a great relationship except for our sex lives. We are pretty transparent and honest, and basically, she feels bad because she never wants to have sex. She doesn't have the desire. She's also never orgasmed. She feels like a terrible wife and fears I'll cheat on her. She doesn't know why. Last time we had sex, she cried and felt bad and didn't know why she cried. However, she also told me that the last time we had sex, she felt me in her, but it just felt \"ehh\" and wanted to stop. That makes me feel really awful. We rarely have foreplay. Everything I try tickles her, so she makes me stop. We are both frustrated but very much in love. She and I are in our early 20s. We\u2019re married and we have a baby on the way."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2196
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What a tough situation you must be in, feeling torn between your parents and someone who is very special to you. I would say the first thing you want to do is\u00a0(if you haven't already), have a calm reciprocal conversation with your parents, telling them how you feel and letting\u00a0them know what you need from them. If communication attempts are unsucessful then you will need to make a decision with how you would like to move forward. You, unfortunately, will not be able to change your parent's feelings or opinions but you can agree to disagree on certain matters by keeping them separate from the\u00a0relationship you have with your parents. It always helps to try and see things from another angle. You might want to, for example, try and understand your parent's perspectives and let them know you understand that they are upset. Validating other's feelings can be very helpful with communicating effectively. Are you living with your parents and do they support you? If so, are you willing to give that up should you decide to not follow\u00a0their rules? Know that there is nothing wrong with being happy with someone or loving somebody so deeply. Your feelings and actions certainly do not make you brainwashed or a devil worshipper.\u00a0Not everyone will always approve of the choices\u00a0we make and sometimes we need to be okay with that. Best of luck to you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a young adult woman, and I have trouble finding my true identity being at home. This all started when I had a boyfriend about 10 months ago. My boyfriend and I were dating for a couple months and decided to get in to sexual acts. At the time, I was pretty religious, but I let this happen. I don't know why. I felt kind of guilty but mostly because I know my parents wouldn't like it. My parents are very religious\u2014they're Christians. We did things every time he'd come over to my house. We didn't have anything to do at our house, so we would get tempted to do things when we'd watch movies by ourselves.\r\n\r\nOne day, my parents found out I did this stuff with him because my dad read my messages. As soon as my dad found this out, he told my mom. They were both aggravated. They told me he was just a boy that wanted to get inside my pants. They said he wanted me for sex and he's not a Christian. I took their advice and broke up with him. Once we broke up for about a month, I decided to get back together with him a little after school started. My parents found out eventually, and I decided to not listen this time. I would constantly talk to my boyfriend about what they say about him: how's he's not the right one for me, and God totally forbids him. I would kind of try to break up with him, and then eventually I would just never listen to my parents. They're always yelling at me about how I shouldn't date this boy. I felt too old to listen to them. Now I'm kind of just stuck. Is the real me religious? Have I been brainwashed by him? I don't talk to my parents anymore about him, and my parents think I'm deceiving because of it. They threatened me that if I'm still with him, I can't do track and they won't support me. They've also called me slut, and now they called me basically a devil worshipper. They say my boyfriend is taking me away from my parents. I'm actually very happy with him. They also say I'm living a separate life at home than I am at school. They say they want what's best for me and love me because they adopted me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2197
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Texas,Oh, that's a powerful idea, isn't it? It burrows into your head. Let's figure this out. First, has your partner given you any concrete reason not to trust them? Have they cheated before? If not, then they deserve the benefit of the doubt until there is evidence. If it's a \"yes\", then it's natural that these fears would be triggered and you can simply let your partner know what triggers the fear and what you need. \"When you refuse to let me see your phone I worry that you're hiding something. I need openness\". If they haven't cheated on you in the past, there are three possible scenarios here. I invite you to take a moment and write down what the evidence is that cheating is going on. What is the specific thing that's triggering your fears? When you have your data recorded, read on...The first scenario is that you have been personally hurt in the past by someone else and you've developed fears that you will be hurt again or that you're not enough to keep someone interested (this is just fear...people cheat for their own reasons, not because we're not interesting). This may be true if what you wrote down is \"They didn't really do anything wrong...there is no evidence. I'm just scared and suspicious\". That's a cue to do some self reflection and calm yourself with thoughts like \"nothing has really happened. I can trust.\"If what you wrote down was vague evidence, like for example your partner has been distant or irritable, or you're having less sex than usual, you can try to approach the situation without making assumptions. Trust your gut, but your gut isn't seeing evidence of cheating...it's evidence of \"something\". Ask your partner what's up with accusations or assumptions.The third possibility is that there is some clear evidence that they are cheating. Maybe there are texts on a phone, or someone has told you something they saw. I'd say when there is some evidence, it's okay to present this to your partner and ask what's going on. If this happens repeatedly, and your gut is screaming and there are only excuses or explanations that don't make sense, then it's okay to do a bit of \"research\" and be extra aware of what's going on around you.\u00a0I hope that helps.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How can I know if I'm just being paranoid?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2198
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds really difficult to know that your daughter may be \"choosing\" her dad over you, perhaps I can help by saying her intense emotional reactions towards you actually acknowledge how much safer and connected she feels towards you. We tend to have big emotions around those we care for most. I would suggest to let her know how hard it is to hear that, and sad it make you feel at times, and that this is hard for everyone. Expressing your feelings to here, will allow her to express hers too.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am divorced and happily remarried. Our blended family of children are in their 20s. My youngest, age 20, continues to call me crazy and favors her dad. He was abusive to me, and I left with injuries. He never wanted kids, and I did. He paid child support only through forced wage earners. Now my daughters favor him after all the sacrifices I made for them the past 15 years as a single mom. I don\u2019t deny them a relationship with their dad, but to be called crazy and then watch them hang out with him hurts me to the very core. I\u2019m not sure how to handle this."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2199
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This relationship with your step dad sounds very challenging. It is hard to to be told over and over again how not good enough we are. Let me offer you this, frequently when we say harsh, mean, nasty things to others, we are simply projecting our own thoughts about ourself. I am not advocating that this is ok, it seems like your stepdad could also use some support. You get to make your own empowered choice around this, this is your life and if you find yourself in a situation that does not suit you make a change.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have bipolar II disorder, I'm addicted to alcohol and weed, and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2200
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello in Jacksonville,\u00a0It sounds like you are struggling with motivation to either take or study for a test. \u00a0There could be several different causes. \u00a0If you were being seen at my practice, I would ask you to describe your self-talk when engaging in these activities, during the different phases ie. in beginning, after a few days, and after few weeks. \u00a0Negative self-talk leads to increased disinterest and eventually tasks not being completed. \u00a0It is great that you recognize that you have the tendency to not complete tasks that you start. \u00a0Some questions that would be great to explore with a therapist are:\u00a0how often you start and stop tasks without completing them?how you are feeling when you choose to start/ stop a project/task?how many tasks do you complete? \u00a0Sometimes we need to recognize list our accomplishments so that they do not go unnoticed. \u00a0\u00a0Do you ever feel like you are working against yourself?A licensed counselor in Jacksonville will be able to asses you and rule out or diagnose self-sabotaging, depression, anxiety or other possible contributing factors. \u00a0Remember to continue to provide yourself daily motivation and encouragement towards your goals.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been struggling with it for a test and I'm starting to believe it's something mental. What could it be?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2201
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Los Angeles,So your husband is giving you mixed messages. He says he's willing to cut back on the drinking, but he drinks and hides it. His behaviour is passive aggressive and immature, which puts you into this position of having to act like a disapproving parent. It sounds more like you're talking about an out-of-control teenager than your partner.\u00a0Your husband's lying is sending a message. \"I get to make my own decisions and you can't stop me\" might be it. Underneath that, maybe it's \"I want to stop but I'm ashamed that I can't and I don't want you to see my failures\". Ultimately, as an adult, he gets to decide what he puts in his mouth and if you try to manage that by monitoring how many beers he has, you are pretty certain to get some fallout... pushback...backlash... \u00a0How does his drinking affect you? That's where your voice has power, rather than in counting his beers or setting him up to lie (when he's passed out, asking if he's been drinking seems confusing). You've mentioned snoring, which I guess is a legitimate complaint. If he's passing out, that's a legitimate complaint. When he drinks does he drive, act aggressively, or 'check out of' the relationship (avoid you)? All of these things are legitimate concerns, and I'd stick to talking about those rather than counting beers. My guess is he has few other ways to cope with stress, so he checks out with alcohol, and it also helps him avoid your relationship. But the problem is it makes it worse; the more he avoids you, then more you chase him with your questions.There's a conversation that would be helpful here. \u00a0It sounds like \"I've tried to support you in your drinking less, and it's not working. What are your goals for alcohol and how can I support you in that more effectively?\" I'd like to see you in a place where you're not micromanaging his drinking, but focusing on the things that affect you. What concrete supportive methods can you use with his agreement? Can we get the alcohol out of the house? Is he willing to seek treatment?\u00a0Lay your expectations out really clearly. \"I won't count your beers, but I can't tolerate lying\". You have to decide what's more important; is it really the number of beers, or is it something else. What do you need to happen in order to want to remain in the marriage? What does he need? Does he let you know what isn't okay with him? He might have trouble saying these things.\u00a0The drinking is only a part of the complex dynamic in your marriage. A qualified therapist can assist in pulling this apart, understanding it, and changing the way you relate to each other.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband has had issues with alcohol addiction in the past (he'd never admit to this). A while back (3 years ago), I asked him to stop drinking so much, and he agreed. I caught him one night drinking behind my back. I confronted him and he lied, but I told him I knew he was lying because I counted the beers in the fridge and four of them were missing. He admitted and apologized and promised he wouldn't do it again. Lately, my husband has been drinking on and off, but I noticed it was every single night. I didn't like this. For our New Year\u2019s resolution, we decided we were going to limit our alcohol consumption. He was on board\u2014no more drinking every night.\r\nThe other night, I counted the beers in the fridge just to see if some were missing. It took a couple of days, but tonight, I discovered a few were missing along with a shot of vodka. He was passed out on the couch when I decided to wake him up and confront him (poor timing, but I couldn't wait). I asked him if he'd come to bed with me (when he drinks, he snores and I cannot sleep\u2014it's a dead giveaway he's been drinking). He slurred a bit and said no. I asked if he had been drinking, but he snapped and said no. I went into our room to sleep, leaving him on the couch. \r\nI'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not. I just feel like I'm so honest with him about everything, and I expect the same honesty. He is a good husband in every other regard."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2202
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "As exasperated as you feel, and as obvious it is to you that your husband cares more about drinking than being honest with you, changing this is up to him.Does he care that you're upset with him for drinking more than he can handle?Does he care about you more than drinking?Living with an alcoholic, which is how his behavior sounds, is lonely and frustrating.Concentrate on what you like about him as he is now with his drinking.Your happiness matters. \u00a0His ignoring of what you're talking about, doesn't mean your requests are unreasonable.Be prepared to learn to live with and accept how he behaves, or not.Avoid the expectation that you can convince him to change.People change only when they realize their life can improve by changing. \u00a0He doesn't sound like this, at least now.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband has had issues with alcohol addiction in the past (he'd never admit to this). A while back (3 years ago), I asked him to stop drinking so much, and he agreed. I caught him one night drinking behind my back. I confronted him and he lied, but I told him I knew he was lying because I counted the beers in the fridge and four of them were missing. He admitted and apologized and promised he wouldn't do it again. Lately, my husband has been drinking on and off, but I noticed it was every single night. I didn't like this. For our New Year\u2019s resolution, we decided we were going to limit our alcohol consumption. He was on board\u2014no more drinking every night.\r\nThe other night, I counted the beers in the fridge just to see if some were missing. It took a couple of days, but tonight, I discovered a few were missing along with a shot of vodka. He was passed out on the couch when I decided to wake him up and confront him (poor timing, but I couldn't wait). I asked him if he'd come to bed with me (when he drinks, he snores and I cannot sleep\u2014it's a dead giveaway he's been drinking). He slurred a bit and said no. I asked if he had been drinking, but he snapped and said no. I went into our room to sleep, leaving him on the couch. \r\nI'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not. I just feel like I'm so honest with him about everything, and I expect the same honesty. He is a good husband in every other regard."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2203
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Buffalo, I think you're right; your partner's reactions are about him. I have to say it's a cruel thing to say to someone you love...that you're \"embarrassed by them\". The subtext says \"You're not good enough\", and I love that you can reject that false message.You don't have to be different for anyone. If he can't accept you for who you are, what is he doing with you? Your social habits (unless they are extreme...like you refuse to go anywhere) aren't a reflection on him; it's just you being you. Also, and I'm sure you've found this...the more he judges you, the more difficult it is for you to be the confident, outgoing person he wants you to be...so his method of trying to change you doesn't even work!I think that's the crux...he's trying to change you. What does that make you want to do?\u00a0", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been getting told lately by my partner that it\u2019s embarrassing that I'm so antisocial around his family and friends. I believe it's because I'm not as social as him."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2204
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Rockford, While no relationship is \"perfect\", and it's natural for the passionate beginnings of a relationship to lessen with time, because we have established the trust and love needed as a foundation and we don't have to smother each other with attention anymore, your situation sounds like something different.\u00a0\"He has no time for me\"... yet you don't fight. Hmmm...Is it that you don't fight because you don't bring up what's bothering you? Are you avoiding conflict? Many people do. What do you fear would happen if you let him know how you feel about his recent pulling away? As an engaged couple, now is a really good time to see what happens when you bring a concern to your fiance. Better to find out now what happens when you rock the boat by being real. Or maybe you have spoken to him about it. If so, what happens? Does he listen and help you understand him better? Or does he avoid and reassure you...or maybe dismiss you? This is really important data to gather about how your fiance handles conflict and how you work together.\u00a0He says \"leave me alone\". That's a pretty bold statement about what he wants. He doesn't seem to have the same idea that you do about what marriage is, and how close you want to be. Plus, I have to say, those words sound more like what a closed-off fourteen year old would say to a parent than a loving fiance to his bride to be!\u00a0Giving him the benefit of the doubt, it could be that your fiance is scared about getting married and this is a temporary reaction that will change. But if this is true, he needs to tell you that so you can understand.\u00a0So, I suggest that the fact that when you're together you're \"okay\" is perhaps not the best barometer for how you're doing as a couple. Listen to your gut. I encourage you to be really open with your fiance about what your feelings and fears are. This may get rockier before it gets better, but until you face what's not working, you won't know who you truly are as a couple. \u00a0When you're engaged, it's a really cool time to see a therapist too...to get some conflict resolution skills down before you're a married couple.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have almost the best relationship every girl wants, but lately it's changed. I get less attention and little to no intercourse. He works a lot and goes to the gym a lot (he's a football player for an indoor league), but he has no time for me. We live two hours from family, and when I leave home to see family, he'll text me saying \"whatever\" and \"leave me alone.\" But when we're together, everything is okay. No fighting or anything. I love this man, but I just don't know what to do anymore."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2205
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This can certainly be a side effect of some medications. If the voices are so powerful that you can not sleep or they are constantly present, you shouldn't wait any time, but go and see your doctor straight away. ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "They don't go away, and I feel like I'm going crazy. Does that ever stop? Can it be a symptom of medication?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2206
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Remember, the past no longer exists and the future is just an illusion as we don't know what will happen tomorrow, so take the present as your guide. That is all we can do, so keep saying this to yourself and try to help someone each day.\u00a0 The happiness is helping others to feel a bit better. ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2207
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Since you realize that hearing voices in your head is not usual for you, then definitely there is a problematic situation happening within your awareness of who you are.if you recently started taking a new drug or increased dosage of one you already were taking, and the voices started shortly after, then yes, it is possible medication created your problem.Start by telling whoever gave you the presecription, about the problem you're having.\"Crazy\" has some flexibility as to whether someone is this way or not.Certainly a very positive sign that you're not crazy, is that you're self-aware of a problem within yourself. And, you're responsible toward yourself and making effort to address this problem.Crazy people usually don't do responsible behaviors.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "They don't go away, and I feel like I'm going crazy. Does that ever stop? Can it be a symptom of medication?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2208
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What result are you hoping to get from the behaviors you describe?Maybe start by comparing the results you see yourself receiving from your current interactions, with how you would wish to feel from relating to others.Since you ask, \"what is wrong with me?\", there is a disconnect between what you are doing and what you'd like in return.This is true even with imagining doing harm to others.What are you really trying to accomplish for yourself by hurting others?Besides the unethicalness and criminality of this and legal consequences of arrest for such behaviors, what gain which is not evil, do you expect from overpowering and imagining you control another human being?", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I need answers to my anger, possessiveness, and urges.\r\nI am angry all the time. I push people away so much that I actually blow up on people now because they ask me how my day is or was. I have a possessiveness to someone who is not even mine. I have these urges to hurt someone really bad. I want to see them beg for me to stop hurting. I want to hear their agonizing pained-filled voices. What is wrong with me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2209
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Would you describe yourself as sensitive to your surroundings and emotions?If yes, this may explain why letting go of past problems, is itself a problem.The dynamic of living one day at a time and letting go of past problems, is more imaginary and wishful than real.It is a popular notion of TV, FB, and media.Doing the letting go, has nothing to do with what is actually possible to do.Problems are not \"let go\", they are resolved somehow.Living one day at a time isn't possible for anyone who has consciousness. \u00a0No one can really disconnect from reality every day on which they wake up.Instead of trying to do the impossible which is promoted online and in media, allow yourself time to recognize what went into creating a problem in your life, in the first place. \u00a0Understanding problems leads to peacefulness and resolution. \u00a0Then you will have more freedom to make new relationships.Also, be patient with this process and yourself.If you have deep attachment to painful situations in your life, then possibly now is your time for understanding what went wrong.This is a process which cannot be rushed if it is to be done well.If it is done thoroughly, then you very naturally will bring new relationships into your life.And life will no longer feel so painful that you can only manage \"one day at a time\" without hurting. \u00a0You won't need to forget what happened yesterday.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2210
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Smyrna,Your husband is avoiding dealing with this problem. I understand how lonely you must feel, not only sexually, but emotionally too.From what you describe, it seems that he wants to\u00a0be there for you, but he clearly has barriers to engaging fully around this issue. My hunch is that he doesn't know what to do or how to talk to you. But I think he does have something to say.Your husband is 29 years older and you've been together for ten years...that puts you at around thirty perhaps and him at almost sixty? Has any wise older woman sat you down to explain that men sometimes have erectile issues or hormone-related low sex drive as they age? It's possible that your husband is bewildered, angry, grieving or anxious about changes in his sex drive or his ability to maintain an erection, and that he doesn't know how to talk to you about this. He may feel like he's letting you down, and he's scared it will get worse, so he's sticking his head in the sand. Of course, that doesn't help, does it?The worst case scenario is that you get angry or hopeless, that he senses danger or disapproval from you and pulls away even further in shame. Eventually, you stop chasing him, and you drift further apart.\u00a0It's a bit of a conundrum...how to honour both your need for connection and honesty and his need for a safe place to explore his fears and insecurities. Maybe lower your expectations for a bit? Your husband will need to believe that you are a safe place to share his fears, and you would need to hold onto the fact that he's really scared, and that he's not rejecting you...just protecting himself.I would suggest having a gentle conversation that sounds something like \"Sweetheart, we both know that something's not right here. I think you've been trying to handle this on your own or hoping it would get better, but can we agree that it's not? I need you to either talk to me about what's happening, or please go see a doctor. What I need is to see that you are doing some little step to help us. Either of those things would show me that.\"In the end, you need to know that he's heard you and that he's willing to look at the issue in some way. If he does neither, then at least you know where you stand and you can decide whether to live in a sexless marriage.\u00a0I wonder if showing him this answer to your question might help? Just a thought.\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been married for ten years. My husband is 29 years my senior. We have a young daughter. Ever since she was born, my husband has \"shut down.\" We have no intimacy; he doesn't even kiss me. I've told him how I feel for years, and he swears he loves me and wants to make me happy, but I still have to literally beg for sex and affection. My self-esteem is gone, and I feel so alone. He has stranded me. He uses his passive-aggressive ways and ignores every comment I make. He refuses to talk to me in detail."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2211
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi, I understand what you're going through. Your daughters favor him because he has done no wrong in their eyes. Im guessing they lived with you? Growing up I was the same way.. I favoured my dad, thinking he has done no wrong. He also abused my mother multiple times, and that never came to mind. kids like their other parent more mainly because they don't see them everyday, and they usually buy them everything they want, because all he does it pay child support (by force) and then spoil their kids to make them happy. You seem like a great mom, don't doubt yourself.\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am divorced and happily remarried. Our blended family of children are in their 20s. My youngest, age 20, continues to call me crazy and favors her dad. He was abusive to me, and I left with injuries. He never wanted kids, and I did. He paid child support only through forced wage earners. Now my daughters favor him after all the sacrifices I made for them the past 15 years as a single mom. I don\u2019t deny them a relationship with their dad, but to be called crazy and then watch them hang out with him hurts me to the very core. I\u2019m not sure how to handle this."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2212
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Athens, When a teenager wants to have a baby, it's usually for a specific, and not healthy, reason. Do you maybe hope that a baby will cement your relationship? It doesn't work that way. Do you yearn for a person who will love you deeply? Babies don't give to us; we give endlessly to them. I urge you to talk to someone you trust about why you want to speed up your life by being a parent before you are fully grown emotionally. A relationship that is one month old is not stable enough to support a change like this. You're only starting to get to know each other. I wish you well and hope you talk to someone.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been dating my boyfriend for a month, and we want a baby. We don't work or drive, and we haven't talked to our parents. What should we do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2213
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Tampa, I get that this is a loss for all of you; you have bonded with this child as a result of the significant time you have spent with him. He's a lucky boy to have had you all taking care of him. Certainly, it seems that his mother might not be making the best decision for her son; if you are willing to maintain the relationship, it would be good for him to still have that contact. In my book, the more people loving a child, the better.\u00a0But, ultimately, she has the right to make these decisions. To oppose her won't likely do any good. You can focus on grieving this relationship and supporting your brother through his loss as well.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My brother just broke up with his girlfriend. While they were dating for the past two years, her son spent the weekends with me and my mother. Now she doesn't think her son should have any interaction with us. How should we approach the situation? Is she doing the right thing for her child?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2214
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi New York, There is no need for shame here; no one's done anything wrong! A pregnancy is a glorious gift to be celebrated.\u00a0I wonder what gets in the way of you celebrating your daughter's pregnancy?\u00a0Are they excited about it? I bet they are. They've been together for seven years. Even if it caught them off guard, the best thing for them and this new baby is to celebrate the joy of this new little person and their growing family. If you are happy for them and help spread their joy, how marvelous would that be for them as a family?New York, I will be honest with you; I hope that's okay. I sense that maybe you are feeling judgemental towards them. Do you dislike or judge his struggle with mental illness? Do you see him as less than worthy because he hasn't worked? I don't know for sure, but I imagine maybe his anxiety and depression get in the way of working. Maybe he's on a social disability? Mental illness doesn't make someone less lovable or valuable as a partner. He's getting help for himself and that's wonderful.\u00a0If your daughter loves him and is happy with him... If he is her chosen man, then they absolutely need your support, not your judgement. And if they struggle as a couple, you know what...they will need it even more!Is this your first grandchild? If not, then I don't have to say this, but if it is...you are in for the most amazing adventure of your lifetime. You will fall in love so deeply with this child. S/he needs that...this baby needs your love and support.So, you say to your family... \"I have amazing news! My daughter is expecting a baby! I'm going to be a grandparent!! I can't wait\".\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "She is living with her boyfriend of seven years. He is in therapy for depression and social anxiety. He hasn't worked in all this time."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2215
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Brookfield, It can be unsettling when we feel something as fundamental as our sexual orientation shifting. I like that you're honest enough with yourself to say \"I'm struggling with this\". To accept that there is a question is a brave place to be. And...it doesn't necessarily mean you're gay.Unfortunately, we live in a culture that wants to put people in slots...male or female, straight or gay...we tend to not like those grey areas so much as a culture. The truth is that, if we grew up in a society where there wasn't this categorization...if we felt free to explore and grow sexually, we might be surprised at who we are attracted to. You don't have to put yourself in a slot. Our sexual preferences are more fluid than we think, and it can change over time.We also live in a culture where there is prejudice against homosexuality or \"differentness\" in general. The wish to not be gay can be powerful. Many people who are gay spend years believing they were heteroxual...fighting against, repressing \u00a0or ignoring their gay thoughts. This is needless pain. If you are gay, there is no shame in that and you can still have a glorious life filled with love and passion.Having said all that...just because you have thoughts about men or get turned on by gay porm doesn't mean you're gay. Many heterosexual people have thoughts and fantasies about the same sex; it's arousing because it's naughty...we're curious about the forbidden, or we're just curious. Becoming aroused by gay porn is normal for many heterosexual men.\u00a0Sexual orientation isn't just about sex either. A different gauge of who you are sexually can be found in your emotions towards men or women. Are you drawn into emotional connections with men more than women? Who do you feel the urge to explore and be close to?Exploring your sexuality through being open to different experiences can help too. How does it feel to kiss a man, to touch a man, as compared with a woman...sometimes this feels like such a big and forbidden step that it's a barrier to discovering ourselves. We don't want to open that door.\u00a0I wish you well as you do exactly what you are supposed to be doing...exploring and discovering yourself. It's an exciting journey and you might want to find a trusted person to talk more about this with.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been going through a rough time lately. I been into nothing but women. I\u2019ve never thought about men until a week ago. I\u2019m very upset and depressed about this. It's not normal to me. I looked at gay porn more than once to prove that I\u2019m not gay. I get the same results each time, and I feel disgust. This is tough on me. I'm scared that I looked too many times. I keep thinking about it and shake all the time."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2216
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\"Where you put your attention is where you will go\". I forget who said this first, but it's very powerful. If all you think about and talk about is how annoying you think you might be, that will get annoying. Your intense self reflection is lovely; it will help you monitor yourself so that you're not affecting others negatively, but your alarm is going off too easily here and you risk having the opposite effect.You don't have to be perfect. She's with you, so she probably likes you as you are. She seems to put far less emphasis on your possibly annoying traits. We all have faults and if that's what we focus on, that's all we will see. My hunch is that your most annoying trait might be your negative self-talk. How ironic is that?There's another irony here...your goal is to be a better partner...but when you are self-critical, your focus is on you, not her. Every moment that fear grabs ahold of you is a moment that you're not being present in the actual relationship; you're gazing at your imagined faults. Fear steals your ability to focus on your loving partner.\u00a0Maybe take a moment to image how she sees you...all of you. Put yourself in her shoes to see the entire you...how are you loving...thoughtful...a good partner? Confidence is a very attractive quality!\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I think I'm annoying and bothersome, but my girlfriend says I'm just fine. I don't think so, I think I'm stressing everyone else out"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2217
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, It doesn't feel good when it seems that your partner no longer cares or cares less for you, especially if your feelings have not changed. It can be scary, frustrating, and lonely. Have you tried talking to him about your concerns? I would suggest to start there. There may be several reasons for his actions, some of which may have nothing to do with how he feels for you.\u00a0Learning about what is going on for him will likely answer your questions and, depending on his response, may\u00a0cause some relief. When\u00a0initiating conversations about subjects that are sensitive, there are a few things that you want to remember.\u00a0Tell him how you are feeling and what you are experiencing, rather than blaming him or telling him what he is doing wrong. Avoid\u00a0using extreme, black and white language (i.e. always and never).\u00a0For example, you may say something such as, \"I feel confused that we are rarely intimate and I'm wondering if you've also noticed this change\" versus \"You are never intimate with me anymore.\"\u00a0Don't be afraid to ask him questions. You deserve to know what is going on, as his behavior is effecting your well being. I like to ask open-ended questions instead of yes and no questions. It allows for\u00a0more clarity and deeper\u00a0explanation. Lastly,\u00a0ask yourself (and possibly him) what part you play in the recent changes. Does he feel that you've been distant? Does he need something from you? Let him know that you are willing to work things out as a team. If communication attempts fail, seeing a couple's therapist can be a great benefit. Having an objective party to coach you through this difficut time can give you the support that will create lasting changes in your relationship.Best of luck to you!\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have almost the best relationship every girl wants, but lately it's changed. I get less attention and little to no intercourse. He works a lot and goes to the gym a lot (he's a football player for an indoor league), but he has no time for me. We live two hours from family, and when I leave home to see family, he'll text me saying \"whatever\" and \"leave me alone.\" But when we're together, everything is okay. No fighting or anything. I love this man, but I just don't know what to do anymore."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2218
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What a beautiful discussion of guilt and shame Lynda offers! Those\r\ntwo demons start out as pesky and little when we are young, then grow with us to\r\nbecome quite formidable. I'd like to throw in a technique I learned from Randy\r\nRausch (author of\u00a0The Last Lecture)\u00a0called The 3-Step Apology.\r\nI teach this important bit of wisdom to my clients when they need to apologize\r\nto someone else but more importantly when they need to forgive themselves.Yes, when we have trouble forgiving ourselves we sometimes forget\r\nthat there is part of us that just doesn't know how to apologize effectively.\r\nHere goes:Step One: Say what you did and the damage it caused.Step Two: Say you're sorry and accept full\r\nresponsibility (no excuses, no explanation, no defensiveness: \u201cIt was all my\r\nfault.\u201d)Step\r\nThree: Ask what you can do to repair the damage.Step Three is the one many of us didn\u2019t learn growing up. And when\r\nwe add it to an apology, we are usually surprised that the penalty is as light\r\nas it is. Of course, sometimes the apology is not accepted and no way to atone\r\nis offered. So be it, we can\u2019t control this. But if we are apologizing to\r\nourselves, we can. There is always a way to make amends if we put our heart\r\ninto it.\nGive this a try the next time you\u2019re reluctant to let yourself off\r\nthe hook. You might surprise yourself when how benevolent you can be when\r\ninvited.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Something happened this summer that I cannot forgive myself for. When I think about what happened, I feel ashamed and guilty even though my loved ones forgave me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2219
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Staying present is an attitude most of us aspire\r\nto, and most of us have to work at it\u2014certainly at first. I\u2019m here to tell you\r\nthat living in the now or being mindful is a skill anyone can learn. Unfortunately,\r\nthe only way to do it is to do it. What a paradox! But there are plenty of\r\nother skills that we are not born with: walking on stilts, riding a bike,\r\nswimming, and driving a car are good examples. You can\u2019t learn them by reading about\r\nthem.Having said that, I can recommend two books on\r\nthe subject: Eckhart Tolle\u2019s The Power of\r\nNow and David Richo\u2019s When the Past\r\nis Present. Richo asks that we don\u2019t beat ourselves up about dwelling on\r\npast events. This is nature\u2019s way of reminding us that we have unfinished\r\nbusiness. But while we are attended to the wounds and confusion that litter our earlier lives, we can prepare to inhabit the expanded present that awaits us.He offers three helpful steps to making any important life\r\nchange:Step One: Hold in awareness the behavior,\r\nbelief, attitude, or characteristic you want to change in yourself and how you\r\nwant to be different. Awareness is the opposite of distraction and stuffing.Step Two: Live as if you have\r\nalready made the change. (This is hard and takes courage, but you can do it.\r\nRide that bike\u2014even if for a foot or two.)Step Three: Be persistent.\r\n(Practice, practice, practice.)Just as two-year-olds are able to walk\r\nconfidently after hundreds of hours of practice, you\u2019ll be able to stay in the\r\nhere and now as long as you want after trying and failing many, many times.\n\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2220
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi New York, I'm happy to hear that your daughter doesn't know about her dad's addictions. Although you don't say how old she is,\u00a0and I imagine that at some point in her life she will be ready to know the truth, I trust your instinct that now is not the time. Your ability to have clear boundaries about what is adult conversation and what is suitable for a child to know are really important here, and I can tell you're being appropriately protective and a thoughtful parent. As much as this helps your daughter, I sense that you also know you can't take away the emotional pain that comes from having an absent parent. Children tend to blame themselves for a parent's absence. These children need extra love and support wherever they can get it.You say that you feel like there is a wedge between you and your daughter. I understand that having your ex partner's relatives in the same home would make it uncomfortable at times. It is very important to establish boundaries; only you should parent your daughter, but it's also natural for people to want to assist you. Let's trust that their intentions are good, if there is no evidence to the contrary. As much as they support you, they also \u00a0have emotional ties to your daughter's father.\u00a0While there is potential for discomfort in this complex situation, there are also many positive factors here that I invite you to see.I don't know what your culture is, but for your daughter to have the opportunity to preserve her father's heritage language and a relationship with his family are potentially wonderful additions to her life. In general, the more adults around loving and supporting a child, the better.\u00a0It could be that you are feeling threatened by small moments where there appears to be a special connection between your daughter and her father's family. Nothing anyone else does can take your daughter's love from you. My hope for you is that you can feel so secure in your own position as loving mother that you will not feel intimidated by other positive connections your daughter has. They are potentially wonderful connections, and she deserves your support in maintaining those relationships if they don't harm her.I suggest that the most important alliances to work on here are between you and your ex's family. If you could all give your daughter the gift of a healthy, united supportive and loving safety net for her...that's the best outcome of all.\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We live with my ex-partner\u2019s sister and her husband. We have been there for five years now. They are Hispanic and talk to my daughter in their language. Sometimes they overstep their balance between aunt and uncle and reach into my role as a parent. They neglect to see this. I do, and it reflects in my child's behavior. She sees them as stable but is upset that her dad isn't here, and my intuition tells me she blames me to a degree because she doesn't know about his alcohol addictions."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2221
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Tennessee, There is nothing wrong with you. There are many good reasons why you didn't say no. You didn't say no because you were caught off guard and unprepared; there is no place in life that teaches girls or boys how to manage it when someone crashes a sexual boundary. You also live in a culture where girls are encouraged to be cooperative and not upset people, and to put the needs of other people first. You instinctively want people to like you, and people can be very coercive sexually. You said it yourself; you \"gave in\". He wore you down.There's nothing wrong with you. It wasn't your job to say no. Women aren't the gatekeepers of male sexual urges. It was his job to get your consent first. He pressured you into it.\u00a0A good therapist would help you to dig deep and uncover all these barriers to saying no and more. If you said no, what might happen then? What might that mean about you? What are you avoiding feeling? Unloved, unwanted, cold? What would you have to believe in order to be confident enough to say no? That you didn't have to do anything you don't want to do? That you're special, or that sexuality is special? Would you need a better understanding of what sexual assault is?\u00a0I love that you want to do some work here to strengthen your sexual boundaries, and I urge a widespread conversation about what consent it. Men and women of all ages could use more of this training.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was in a situation with a guy. He\u2019s my brother\u2019s friend and kind of like a brother to me. He invited me over to hang out, and then came on to me. I was instantly terrified to say no, and I gave in. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't figure out why I'm afraid to say no. This is giving me a lot of guilt and depression."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2222
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi California, What you're experiencing is indeed anxiety; it's very common. Through research we know a lot of things about how to reduce anxiety. I'll get you started and it's a great idea to connect with a therapist who can build on these ideas and get to know you well.It's natural to have random thoughts that unsettle us. Our brains are complex, wonderful things. Fearful and anxious thoughts are a part of this picture; their purpose is to prepare us for the future and to help us make sense of the past and learn from it. But what happens sometimes is that our alarm systems get out of whack and get set off too easily. We often spend TOO MUCH time worrying about things that happened or might happen. When these thoughts take away from our enjoyment of life, it becomes a problem. So, while fear and anxiety try to protect us, they also seek power and will take any power they can get.In general, fear and anxiety try to tell us one or both of two things: that something is wrong with us, or that something bad will happen (or that something bad will happen because there's something wrong with us). They will use anything they can as evidence to convince you. For example... \"That person looked at you funny. You're strange looking\". Well there are dozens of possible explanations for the look on that person's face, and it's unlikely it had anything to do with you.\u00a0For you personally, your thoughts are about the afterlife...about living forever. What does fear tell you will be uncomfortable about living forever? What would the worst part be? A therapist would help you dig deep to find the core of what you fear. It might be that you have no control over who you are or where you go. It might be that you fear going to hell because you're \"bad\". Search for that deepest fear.I invite you then to picture that thought as a glass of water on a shelf. It's a heavy glass, and if you held it in your hands for a while and stared at it, it would get in the way; you'd be uncomfortable and unable to focus on your life. That's what's happening now. I suggest that the problem is not so much the thought you're having; we all have random silly thoughts that usually aren't true. The problem is how long you're holding it in your hand. You could have that thought (pick up that glass) a hundred times a day and, as long as you put it right back on the shelf, it's not a problem. The trick is to get it back on that shelf.Right now, you're using distraction to do this. You're trying to focus on other things around you, but I think the glass is still in your hand. It's not enough; you're looking for more tools to get that glass back on the shelf. \u00a0And the key is in your thoughts. Once you find out what fear is trying to tell you, then you can \"talk back to\" fear. So, as an example, if fear is saying to you \"you have no control over anything\", then you can work to accept the pieces you don't have control over, learn to tolerate that feeling, and claim back the pieces you CAN control. You CAN control the extent to which you let fear take you over.\u00a0With a therapist you can learn to \"refute\" fears' ideas. You can learn to look for concrete evidence of fear's lies and gain back control over your thoughts. I wish you the best!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "Sometimes I can't stop thinking about life after death. I was raised in a religion that teaches that we will live on forever either in hell or in heaven. \r\nWhen I think of living forever (even if it is in heaven which should be good), I feel overwhelmed. I don't like the thought of living forever and ever and ever. Sometimes I just can't get the thought out of my mind and the thoughts lead to panic and anxiety. \r\nAm I crazy? I don't think these thoughts are normal."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2223
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "In dealing with an eating disorder you are far from alone. \u00a0It is more common than you might think and tied to so many variables that it is easy for an individual to become overwhelmed in trying to navigate the influences of such variables. \u00a0I have been working with individuals dealing with such challenges since 1998 and have found over the years that behavioral analysis is highly effective in helping you begin to isolate, understand and then be able to address many of these variable impacting your behavioral and cognitive choices. \u00a0Consider finding someone trained in Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT). \u00a0There is a large body of evidence supporting the use of this approach to alleviating many of the aspects you identified in your post as well of a wide variety of tools that you can choose from and utilize that are able to practiced and assimilated into your daily tool box of coping mechanisms that end up becoming new behaviors and ways of thinking about issues that become automatic, the best possible outcome you can hope for if you want the solution to be sustainable. \u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2224
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi Pocahontas, This is a painful situation. When you're in a relationship, you assume that you will continue to receive warmth and affection. When it dries up, it's a very lonely place. It's possible that there is an unaddressed issue in the relationship. It's also possible that your partner has hormonal issues, pain issues, \u00a0sexual dysfunction or is asexual.\u00a0There is no one answer here. Only you can decide what is right for you. But let me ask some questions to help you explore next steps:Aside from the sex, is your wife loving and supportive? What are the other ways in which you feel loved? Does your wife talk to you? Does she communicate her needs and desires? Does she articulate what gets in the way of having sex? If your wife is generally a loving, open partner, you use this to see that her behaviours aren't personal. Whether she resolves this or not, it can help you to cope with the rejection. This is your wife's issue, and the \"ball\" is in her court.In my opinion, if couple's therapy hasn't helped, it's time for your wife to own whatever is blocking her and address it with her physician and therapist. Let her be in charge of the sex for a while, to take the pressure off, and she can have the time to figure out what gets in the way of having regular sexual intimacy in your relationship. If you think of this as \"my wife is in crisis and needs support in figuring this out\", it can help you manage your own emotions.\u00a0Pressure to have sex might push her further away. Did the couple therapist help you to see the dynamic in your relationship? Has your partner identified something she feels she is lacking in the relationship? One good way to make sure you \"get\" is to \"give\" (and I mean give what she wants, not sex).\u00a0It's appropriate to say to her now \"I cannot live in a relationship with so little intimacy. I need for you to be honest with me about what you want for us sexually. If this is all you want, I'm not sure I can do it. If you want us to be more sexual, I need you to address what gets in the way for you.\" \u00a0Give her some time, help her in any way you can, and then see where you are. See if she does seek help to address an issue that is hers.\u00a0Then...you have a decision to make. I encourage you to make it looking at the big picture, not just the sex.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We had our first kid 15 years ago, and sex has been nonexistent ever since. It only happens every three or four months. We have been to counseling, and I have been told over and over again she will come around. She hasn't, and I'm intimately lonely! I think it's time to move on, but how do I do that without hurting my kids?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2225
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "In a way, self-harm can present somewhat like an addiction. \u00a0According to new research within the field of neuroscience there is a valid explanation for this. \u00a0When a person cuts or uses other forms of self harm, the body produces endorphins to help make a person feel better. \u00a0If a person was dealing with depression or high anxiety, that might be misinterpreted by the brain as a way to help oneself feel better and a new neural network or map might form (addiction) that would utilize this new behavior. \u00a0Another way to look at it would be thru a behavioral lens, a positive reward for a behavior, even though the behavior has other long term negative consequences. \u00a0Consider working with someone who can both have you work on and address those items that trigger your behavior and the root causes, in this case sadness or depression, and second find someone who can help give you alternatives that take into account the neurological requirement by replacing the behavior with another behavior (such as snapping a rubber band on the wrist) and working to extinguish the unwanted behavior. \u00a0 Someone who is trained in Dialectic Behavior Therapy and/or Interpersonal Neurobiology would most likely have the skills and means available to address this with you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I self-harm, and I stop for awhile. Then when I see something sad or depressing, I automatically want to self-harm."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2226
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Given the description you have posted here, it may be time to find someone to work with. \u00a0First and foremost, look into working with someone who specializes in working with individuals with challenges surrounding drinking. This would need to be assessed first since if it has been ongoing, it may be making the situation worse and given the time it has been utilized as a coping mechanism, there is reason to believe that the structure of your brain may have been effected as has been demonstrated by current neurological research. \u00a0There are however, ways to address this. \u00a0As for coping mechanisms, the person you work with should also look at offering you alternatives such as the skills found within the Dialectic Behavior Therapy model (DBT) which has several useful tools to help address the underlying anxiety and difficulty managing emotional regulation. \u00a0Mindfulness, another component of DBT should also prove to be useful in both becoming aware of your state of mind and emotional state to allow you to make different choices which has been supported by a growing body of evidence. \u00a0There are also other tools designed to help repair damaged relationships. \u00a0Well worth looking into.Seeking help is never easy and it is only human to be hesitant given some of the cultural views of working with therapist. \u00a0This is a difficult place to be in and one that is not easy to move out of, but sitting on it is not going to help it go away. \u00a0Think of it this way, if you broke your arm, would you just wrap it up and hope for the best? or seek out a professional to help you set the break and teach you how to mend the wound. \u00a0The same applies here. \u00a0Think of it as first aid for the mind.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel insecure in my life. I don't think my wife truly wants our relationship even though she says she does. I have turned to drinking to help relieve my repressed stress about this and other issues. I have had a drinking problem for a few years. I feel the reason I drink is not just because I like to, but because I have lately been on edge. I\u2019ve been very oddly emotional when watching movies that I have been watching for years. I\u2019m paranoid about driving on main roads. I\u2019m very jumpy at the slightest noises."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2227
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's important to know that there are counselors who are trained in working with survivors of trauma and you can get help. \u00a0The \"blur\" in your memories is your brain's attempt to protect you from the experiences in your past. \u00a0To recover them can be a slow process done by a trained professional that you trust. \u00a0When you are ready and feel safe, those memories can be recovered and can be integrated with other memories. \u00a0This will help to lessen the potency of the memory, help to make sense of what has happened, and allow you to begin the healing process. \u00a0Check into therapist who are trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "As a child, my parents injured my brother, so they went to prison. I was there when he had gotten hurt, but I can't seem to remember. I also can't remember being with them quite well. It's a blur."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2228
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Going to see a experience counselor would be my advice. \u00a0You will have a neutral person that can listen to both sides and help you all find a common ground of understanding. \u00a0If she doesn't agree to counseling, really the only person you can change is you. \u00a0I would suggest that you approach her with love and let her know what you appreciate about her, let her know the great things she have done that could not be replaced or forgotten however you want your relationship to get better than it has been lately. \u00a0Hopefully this will open the door of communication where you can explain your thoughts and feeling but in a loving way. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We just cannot seem to get along. I cannot have a conversation with her without it turning into World War 3. She treats me like I have no right to an opinion and never really lets me speak. My real mother cares and tries to help me, but she can't do much, because my adoptive mother won't listen to her either."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2229
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have you tried counseling? \u00a0Having PTSD from multiple abusive sexual experiences is very overwhelming for one to handle alone. \u00a0You may need the guidance, experience and support of a professional to identify all the triggers that effect you and obtain the best coping skills that would work for you. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2230
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What your are experience is normal for most women. \u00a0We usually forget about self and totally focus on our children putting our personal wants and needs aside. \u00a0So to answer your question of how do you get to know yourself I usually do a 6 session course with my client by having them answer questions such as the following in the first session: \u00a0What do I love? (other than your children) \u00a0What are my own needs and desires? \u00a0What 3 things have I accomplished in my life that I'm most proud of? \u00a0What are 5 strengths or qualities I have? \u00a0What is one event that had a major impact on my life? \u00a0How have that event affected my life today? \u00a0 For their homework assignment after the 1st session, they are asked to write a letter to self tell self what they love, cherish, appreciate and even admire about themselves. \u00a0Most women feel awkward at first, but I remind them that the truth is that only to the extent that you are able to love and value yourself, you are to love and support others. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am a single mother. As a child, I was molested by my mother's boyfriend. I never knew my father. I started having children at 18 right after high school. After having children, I completely lost myself and gave all of my focus on my children. Now my children are getting older, but I still don't know myself. I've had several attempts at relationships, and they all fail. I stopped caring about a lot after my children's father left me. I fell into a spiral and got depressed."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2231
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Or...better yet... Is it you still thinking about the other girl?\u00a0 I am sure his cheating hurt you emotionally and\u00a0may have\u00a0affected your sexual performance\u00a0as well.\u00a0 Make sure the other girl is out the picture on your end as well.\u00a0\u00a0Sounds like something the both of you need to have a calm and adult conversation about.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Now that the other girl is out of the picture, our sex life isn't the same. Is it because he is still thinking about the other girl?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2232
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "With me knowing that\u00a0a healthy relationship\u00a0usually includes respect, trust, appreciation, companionship, spiritual solidarity, domestic support, feeling of being cherished, and \u00a0sensuous affection, I am wondering if you are lacking in several if not all of these needs in your present relationship.\u00a0 Before he becomes your husband, you should examine these areas and see if they are high in rating.\u00a0 Otherwise, yes this relationship will affect your girls and you negatively.\u00a0 I would suggest relationship counseling, specifically pre-marital.\u00a0 Not be surprised if through the process you realize that this relationship is not the best choice for you and your children. ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I been having anger problems a lot lately. It only takes one word wrongly said to set me off. I use to not be like this until I got with my soon-to-be husband. I think his mood and rage/anger problems have rubbed off on me a lot. I don't get nearly as bad as he does, but I yell almost constantly and I can't seem to just stop. I have two young babies that have to hear this, and I don't want my girls growing up with a mommy like I have been lately. I just don't know how to get back to my old self."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2233
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Parents are to teach discipline to\u00a0children, not punishment.\u00a0\u00a0 Punishment is another word for wanting to cause hurt.\u00a0 There is a different in discipline and punishment.\u00a0\u00a0Punishment could have long term affects on a child's self image and growth.\u00a0 It can lead to others issues such as bullying from peers as well.\u00a0 Whatever your grandson has done, there is a much better way of getting him to understand that his actions are not acceptable.\u00a0 Punishment is not one them.\u00a0 Encourage the step-mother to build a positive relationship with him, this way he will learn to respect and trust her.\u00a0 His actions would improve.\u00a0 She may need to attend a parenting class for blended families.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My grandson's step-mother sends him to school with a pink Barbie backpack as a form of punishment."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2234
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Don't think that you can't afford the help you need on your own.\u00a0 There are several counselors that see people on a sliding scale that can be as low as $5 (based on your income).\u00a0 Find a center that is non-profit, they have great counselors as well.\u00a0It sounds like you know what you are experiencing and know that you need someone to talk to, someone\u00a0that is willing to listen.\u00a0 Your parents\u00a0may not\u00a0understand what your are feeling right now and that is not totally abnormal.I would encourage you to seek help immediately so you can live the best live you can...which is not being depressed.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm depressed. I have been for years. I hide it from everyone because I'm scared of the reactions I'll get. Last time I tried telling my parents, it was a huge argument about me being too young to be depressed (I\u2019m a legal adult), calling me ungrateful, and telling me that if I can't handle things now, it's only going to get worse in the future (which is turning out to be true). It's exhausting pretending to be okay, and I don't know how much longer I can try. I'm just really tired, and sadly, I can't afford the help I need on my own."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2235
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I am glad he is seeing a counselor.\u00a0 That is something that most men struggle with doing at times.\u00a0 Time will tell if his actions are of good intentions.\u00a0 However remember that a person can only do\u00a0to you\u00a0what you\u00a0allow\u00a0them to do in relationships.\u00a0\u00a0 What part did you play?\u00a0 Did you\u00a0down play his\u00a0disrespect at one time?\u00a0\u00a0Did you give up the power of your own voice?\u00a0 Did you lose yourself in the relationship and it became just one sided?\u00a0 Did you allow him to make you doubt yourself?\u00a0\u00a0 In others words, if you do decide to give him another chance,\u00a0what would you do different?\u00a0 Not saying that you are the blame or cause of the negative words\u00a0AT ALL, but don't allow such disrespect from him or\u00a0anyone else in the future.\u00a0 If you do decide to give it another try, go in with\u00a0a voice, with the demand of respect, with your needs and wants expressed and expected.\u00a0\u00a0With an increase in your self worth and confidence, you\u00a0will know\u00a0what to do\u00a0if\u00a0his actions are true\u00a0or\u00a0if\u00a0with dishonest intentions.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Seek counseling as well, if you need that additional support to find self.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband used a lot of negative words to hurt me, and I moved out. He is seeing a counselor and wants another chance to make things right. I'm not sure if I trust that he will not go back to his old ways."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2236
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello,This question describes a very typical setup of what is called the \u00a0Binge, Repent, Repeat cycle. This means that typically after you binge, you experience emotions as you described \"shame and disappointment\" and then because of these emotions you \"repent\" (i.e. vow to never binge again, promise to \"do better,\" go to the gym, etc.) and then ultimately end up bingeing again.\u00a0There are many coping mechanisms for binge eating and one of the best is actually attempting to NORMALIZE eating. Meaning you need to attempt to eat normally, eating appropriately portioned meals 3 times a day, with snacks in between. IF you binge, then it may be helpful to remind yourself that when you attempt to compensate for your bingeing behaviors, and you end up feeling restricted from over exercising or undereating, then this actually leads to a binge again. Thus, reverting you back to the cycle. If you binge, it will be helpful to try and get back on a normal schedule of eating instead of trying to compensate for the binge. Although it may feel counterproductive, getting back on a normal eating schedule will prevent you from entering into the restrictive cycle.\u00a0It can also be helpful to remind yourself that the binge has already occurred, it is in the past and the goal is to move forward without focusing on the past. Focus on what you can do differently next time. What emotions or situations led up to the binge? What can you to do prevent or change the circumstances that led to the binge, or the way that you handled the situation?\u00a0Lastly, if you're struggling with \"normalizing\" eating, it can be helpful to work with a professional that can provide counseling and coaching to help you learn how to eating normally, mindfully and without feeling the guilt and other harmful emotions sometimes associated with disordered eating. I would be more than happy to assist you if you ever have any questions or want to reach out to somebody. You can contact me via my website:\u00a0http://www.maddenwellnessky.com/\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2237
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Coming out to family members can cause a lot of anxiety. However, \u00a0although I cannot promise what their reaction will be, the benefit is that you will no longer have to hide who you are. Perhaps researching or getting information on bisexuality can help your family understand what it truly is to be bisexual. Many times, \u00a0people are just not educated on certain things.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My parents seem okay with other sexualities, but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about bisexuality, they say things like \u201cthey'll do anything\u201d or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am bisexual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2238
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Unfortunately, ptsd is not something that can be cured. \u00a0Ptsd can be managed through therapy. \u00a0Mindfulness can assist in redirecting thoughts and gaining further control over paranoia. Therapy is confidential and there are different ways you can obtain treatment. \u00a0Mental health professional have availability to provide therapy online, \u00a0on the phone or in person.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it\u2019s so vivid, it\u2019s like it\u2019s happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2239
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Perhaps you are not ready to come out to your parents.\u00a0 Often times\u00a0our readiness is not dependent on what others' will say or how they\u00a0react.\u00a0But more so dependent on\u00a0how emotionally prepared we are to deal with others' reactions.\u00a0 It\u00a0may be\u00a0beneficial for you\u00a0to play out each possible\u00a0scenario and\u00a0conclusion (eg. your parents being supportive vs. your parents being disappointed and so on). How are you prepared to deal with the outcome?\u00a0 You\u00a0may also seek help through counselors, support groups and/or individuals you know that have\u00a0dealt with similar situations to help you prepare to discuss\u00a0this with your parents.\u00a0\u00a0All the best!\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My parents seem okay with other sexualities, but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about bisexuality, they say things like \u201cthey'll do anything\u201d or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am bisexual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2240
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yeah I get the same problem... Look I'm not a professional but I've heard a few things. a powernap can help. just a half hour of sleep can clear your mind and let you refocus. Also, brain activity increases with physical exertion. Just walk around for a minute and get your brain working and that'll help you reach the task at hand. Taking breaks it totally okay. Try to have something to do in between that you enjoy.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I feel so irritated and frustrated because of it. I get so angry to the point that I feel like I'm going to explode. I feel pathetic, stupid, and worthless. I just can't take this anymore."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2241
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2242
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm not a super religious person... But I can't imagine that if you love him that much and you want him that much, that he wouldn't be the one for you because of something small like that. Sex is an act of love and commitment. If you feel that you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, want to marry them, then why should you have to wait until marriage? If you truly feel that this is the person you want to be with, then why would you need to wait until marriage if you're just showing commitment to each other?\u00a0", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a Christian teenage girl, and I have lost my virginity. My boyfriend is a Christian teenager too, but things just got out of hand between us in a sexual manner. I planned to abstain from sex but I guess I wasn't clear about this because I was also tempted and led him on. We continued to have sex. Does it mean that he isn't the one God planned for me? We're so young, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming of a potential future together. I really do feel like he is in my life for an important reason. I'm incredibly happy for I was able to escape from several abusive relationships because of him. I love him very much."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2243
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You need to find an outlet. Someone to talk to. Your dad or someone who loves your mother as well is someone ideal. But anyone could help. Just look to someone for help. If you can't find anyone who you think will listen, talk to your mom. It can help greatly just to get the words out. Tell her how you feel about her passing, but then also about everything else. Talk to her about your day. Tell her about happy things. I don't know if you're a religious person, or where you believe she is now, but no matter what you can talk to her.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "Sometimes I can't stop thinking about life after death. I was raised in a religion that teaches that we will live on forever either in hell or in heaven. \r\nWhen I think of living forever (even if it is in heaven which should be good), I feel overwhelmed. I don't like the thought of living forever and ever and ever. Sometimes I just can't get the thought out of my mind and the thoughts lead to panic and anxiety. \r\nAm I crazy? I don't think these thoughts are normal."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2244
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Well, as far as your boyfriend, sounds like he has received advice from others that is not wise advice.\u00a0 Leaving is not the answer after a \"big argument\" as you mentioned.\u00a0 However this is not surprising to me based on his possible age and maturity level.\u00a0 Having a baby is a lifetime responsibility and there are very few who handle this or who realizes that it requires one to step their game up.\u00a0 This is something that he has to realize and be encouraged by his parents or a mature adult to do.\u00a0 Hopefully, someone who has better (wise) advice will talk to him and he will listen.As for you,\u00a0 how do you handle this situation is your question....you do what you have to do to prepare for your baby, with or without him.\u00a0 A lot can happen in four years and you don't have time, are not required, and can't wait to see what will happen with him.\u00a0 You have a LIFE to prepare for,\u00a0 to feed, to protect, and to love.\u00a0 Can you tell your baby to wait; I don't want to deal with you now; I need to mature; I will be back to see you later; Hope you will be fine?\u00a0 Nope!!! \u00a0 As I always say, you are not alone because there is someone somewhere going through the same or similar thing.\u00a0 Develop healthy friendships...whether with family, friends or new people who may enter your life.\u00a0 Your support system will grow and life will go on...with or with him.\u00a0 Stay focus on you and your baby... ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "Me and the father of my child have been dating for a year. We had a big argument and at first he wanted to work it out. But with time he started asking others and they told him to leave me.\nNow he wants me to wait on him to mature. He wants to talk to other people. Then come back in four years. He doesn't want to deal with me while I'm pregnant. He doesn't take me to the doctor or anything. I feel alone.  How do I handle this situation?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2245
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Realize that you are human, not perfect and will make the wrong decisions at times.\u00a0\u00a0 That is OK, we all have.\u00a0 However, the best way is to say OK, I did it, learned from it, will not do that again.\u00a0 EVER!!!\u00a0 You can get pass it; grow from it.\u00a0 Unfortunately, we forgive others faster than we do ourselves because we hold ourselves to higher standards or expected better behavior from ourselves.\u00a0 It can be embarrassing, hurtful, almost unforgiving at times.\u00a0 But how do you forgive yourself? Take a Deep Breathe..... and then acknowledge that you did something wrong, acknowledge it, and say to self,\u00a0 \"I forgive me\".\u00a0 Just like you would say to someone else.\u00a0\u00a0 This starts the process of forgiving. Also ask yourself these questions: \u00a0 What lesson did I learn?\u00a0 What would I have done differently?\u00a0 What will be a trigger that will make me do that again, if I happened to be weak or tempted?\u00a0 Avoid or prepare for those triggers....\u00a0\u00a0Forgiving yourself will set you free from the prison you have put yourself in.\u00a0 You would start back living.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Something happened this summer that I cannot forgive myself for. When I think about what happened, I feel ashamed and guilty even though my loved ones forgave me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2246
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "As you do it more, it should get better or at less with less anxiety.\u00a0 Anxiety is normal for most when speaking in public.\u00a0 I hear this from even the best of facilitators who have been doing it for years.\u00a0 I even experienced that when I first became a counselor and had to lead classes.\u00a0 I asked myself why were I so anxious?\u00a0 I admit at that time I didn't have confidence in myself.\u00a0 The more I prepared and practiced, the more my confidence level increased.\u00a0 Yours will too... ", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Whenever I have to speak in public or be in big crowds, I freak out. I get light-headed, sweaty, and I have trouble breathing."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2247
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If this is a concern of a few coworkers, make sure it is not something they see but you don't admit to.\u00a0 Employers can \"suggest\" or something \"stipulate\" in continued employment with them\u00a0 for you to go to their Employment Assistance Provider (EAP) if they have noticed the same behavior and concerned of how it is effecting productivity or employee relationships.\u00a0 No one wants to work in a environment which they consider hostile.\u00a0 Employers can be held responsible if they do not take action.Couple of things you can do...Ask a coworker in which you trust and respect if what others are saying is true?Seek professional help from your primary care provider or counselor if mood swings do exist.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My coworkers are making false statements about me to the boss, saying I have mood swings. They have no proof to back it up. Can my employer make me see a therapist of their choice?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2248
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is a common issue. You grow up gradually, and parents often forget to shift their habitual responses according to your newfound level of maturity and growing need for freedom and independance. I'm all for helping you find new ways to cope and interact with your mom.\u00a0Ultimately, you only have control over yourself, so that's the place to start. You can remind yourself that Mom's behaviours don't mean that she doesn't trust you or love you; it's just that she has habitual ways of talking to you that seem stuck in the fourteen year old range. If you can see her responses as habits, rather than a reflection of how she feels about you, then you can keep yourself calm. The more calm you are, the more she will buy into it when you invite her into a different sort of relationship.\u00a0Take a look at the picture from her perspective. She may feel overwhelmed with finances (are you in college?), and feel burdened by the mundane tasks in life that she doesn't know how to recruit help for. I bet your mom spends a lot of time picking up after you, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry...all those thankless mom tasks. Take a look at how she talks to you... is she nagging about chores? Can you see that underneath the nagging there's a pretty overwhelmed and powerless person who needs assistance? \u00a0Okay, so my guess is that you both have a legitimate beef. She wants help. You want respect. Let's talk about how you get both.I propose that you sit down with mom and negotiate out a different sort of dynamic. \"Mom...I see us as stuck in how we interacted when I was fourteen. Can we do this differently in a way that we both get what we want?\" Sell it as \"win-win\". Then you write down some things that end up forming a contract.\u00a0The first part is stuff that's your business and your business alone: things you want your mom to respect, like your room, your school, your job, your personal relationships and hygiene.... Mom's voice has no place in these arenas, unless you are storing food in your room and it's a health hazard. This is a \"Mom says nothing about\" list.\u00a0The second part is about what Mom needs from you. What are her expectations about your role in the home as an adult. Does she want you to contribute to rent? Buy your own food? Do your own laundry? What items can we put in your control that would take some burden off of Mom? How will these things be enforced? What will happen if you don't follow through? Write it all down so it's really clear. It has to all be mutually agreed upon.The third part of the conversation is about how she talks to you, and how you talk to her. You can let her know that you don't want to be told what to do or when to do it; that doesn't work when you're 20 years old. Listen to what she wants too. Beyond the contract you've just written up, anything else you want from each other is a request, it's optional, and whether and when you do it is at your discretion. My guess is that if she spoke to you with more respect, you'd be more willing to help out. AND, I think if you participated a bit more she would nag at you less. Go for the win-win.\u00a0I wish you well as you negotiate a new relationship with Mom. :)\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My mom is always bossy and treats me like a child even though I'm in my 20s. She argues with me over stupid stuff."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2249
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2250
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": " such as not enough sleep"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2251
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Basically, your response is the fight, flight or freeze reaction\r\nwhich is hard wired into the human nervous system, specifically, the\u00a0autonomic nervous system (called the autonomic response).\u00a0 This system\r\nis responsible for regulating the heart, digestion, respiratory rate\r\nas well as other aspects which match the symptoms you describe.\u00a0 It is largely an unconscious function, but\r\nwith training it can be managed such as a public speaking course in which you\r\nprepare and even have some exposure to smaller experiences to help you prepare\r\nand cope for larger presentations.\u00a0 One of the greatest applications of\r\naddressing this response is the NASA program which exposes the astronauts to situations\r\nthey will encounter while in space which will trigger the response so that when\r\nit does happen (not if but when) that they are able to move through the\r\nchallenge with success.\u00a0 You can learn\r\nmore about his by going to TED Talks \u201cWhat I learned about going blind in space\u201d It is\r\na truly inspiring look at what you are experiencing as well as how to deal with\r\nit. \nWith that being said, finding a program\r\nlike a Dale Carnegie Public Speaking program can help.\u00a0 Working with a counselor who can help you\r\nutilize visualization of an upcoming speech has been shown to help and you can\r\nalways talk to your doctor to see what options might be available there as\r\nwell. Good luck!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Whenever I have to speak in public or be in big crowds, I freak out. I get light-headed, sweaty, and I have trouble breathing."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2252
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You can't fix this by yourself, but I applaud you for trying. One person working hard in a relationship can make things better for a while., but in the long haul you need two people giving some effort. I'm reading between your lines here and I wonder if your need to keep the family together is getting you to apologize when you've done nothing wrong and ignore things you've felt hurt by. I sense that you're doing all the work...that it's not balanced.\u00a0I have worked with many couples and I've learned never to underestimate what kind of change is possible; anything is possible. But in order for change in a couple to occur, you need two people who are both willing to own their choices and behaviours, and who have empathy. Your boyfriend doesn't appear to have these components; he pushes you away and blames you when he's done something hurtful.Can you be honest with yourself about what's happening? I encourage you to sit down with a trusted friend or therapist and look at what you have here and what your options are. I wish you well.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We\u2019ve been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn\u2019t love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2253
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The greatest sex experience will be with someone who you feel connected to outside the bed.\u00a0 This is something that you should feel comfortable in talking with your partner about.\u00a0 The relationship needs to be strong before moving to the bed anyways. If the love is there, he will understand your fears and make you feel comfortable making it a great experience.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am a female, and I am afraid of having sex. I am afraid of disappointing my partner by being inexperienced. I think he thinks I'm not a virgin. I am also scared that he will be disappointed with my naked body. I don't want my partner to think differently of me because I am afraid of having sex."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2254
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You as the child in the middle of your parents' problems is the worse position to be in.\u00a0 I can only imagine your hurt, pain and confusion on what to do.\u00a0 Honestly, this is a hard question to answer without knowing your age, your parents' ability to handle hearing information from you and your maturity to handle what may happen in the end.\u00a0 One thing I would like to note....your parents may be in the same house but if your mother is cheating, they have already gone their separate ways.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I saw my mother cheating on my dad before. I said something to her, and she said it was in the past. Yesterday, I saw her texting dirty things to the same guy. Should I talk to her again? I don't want my parents to go their separate ways, I just want her to stop. it's not fair."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2255
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I have learned that the best approach is to say that you need the time to get yourself together, mature, learn, outside of a intimate relationship but just in a friend to friend relationship...don't blame him or point fingers at him.... most likely if you did that it would not go well.\u00a0 If you make it about you and that you want the best for him while you work on self, it would be taken better.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been with him for a couple months. We will talk everyday and he will get mad over something I will say and not talk to me. We have our great moments, but I just need to focus on my personal situations, and I feel he is slowing me down with that. I still wanna be with him, but not now."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2256
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Do an internet research on psychosis symptoms and see if you have several of the symptoms.\u00a0 If you do, seek a medical evaluation from your primary care physician.\u00a0 There are great medications and psychotherapy that can help you live your life to the fullest.\u00a0 There a many people who are diagnosed with psychosis and living a productive life.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just need to know if I'm really crazy or not."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2257
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's never to late to get help with grief.\u00a0 Get help as soon as possible before you are feeling the same way 5 years from now.\u00a0 You will always miss your Dad but getting help with coping with his loss will make life easier to live. \u00a0\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My dad passed away when I was a teenager. I never got any help, and five years later, I feel like I can't handle it anymore."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2258
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's hard to say that it is a midlife crisis stage..\u00a0 could be... but so much more seems to be going on or have been going on to say with confidence that it is not much more.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband told me last year he never loved me and should have never married me. He's been talking about divorce, but he hasn't filed. Now he has a girlfriend and he abandoned me and his kids. He has no financial help, and he has been out of the home for four months. He became very angry and mean. He says it's all my fault, and that we're not compatible."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2259
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Anxiety is simply your system communicating to you that you are in danger. The issue that I see in most of my clients is that they try to reason with this anxiety. You do not reason with sensory states in the body. If your system tells your in danger (your stomache feels like it is knots, your heart is beating out of your chest,) validate by just being present with it. Take your breath to it. Breath in and out of that space. Say ok, I am in danger. I always tell my clients, \"a crying baby wants to be held, not told to shut up.\" Listen to your system, validate it like you do a child and see what happens.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I get so much anxiety, and I don\u2019t know why. I feel like I can\u2019t do anything by myself because I\u2019m scared of the outcomes."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2260
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\u00a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of \"finding yourself,\" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \u00a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2261
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello and thank you for your question. I worked for a number of years with people who have been both abused in their relationships and those who have been abusive. Being involved in a relationship with a partner\u00a0who does the behaviors\u00a0you describe can be incredibly difficult, and many would argue is even harder than\u00a0overcoming actual physical violence. I was a little confused about whether you're are still broken up with this person or if you are still thinking about it. I am going to assume you are still undecided. Some of the things you are describing sound like emotional abuse. Even without physical abuse, being emotionally abused can still be traumatizing. When partners question and accuse, they are often trying to exercise power and control over their partners by hurting them with unfounded accusations.\u00a0 The accusations serve to make someone feel guilty\u00a0and to manipulate them. For example, if your partner accuses you of cheating when you go out bowling with friends, you may elect not to go bowling just to satisfy your partner and prevent a fight from occurring. The person being accused or questioned often tries\u00a0to prove over and over again that they have done nothing wrong, but it doesn't matter. And that brings me to the point of what some people\u00a0who experience these behaviors\u00a0do in order to start feeling like they have some power again.\u00a0Here are just a few things:1. They realize there is no right answer. Trying to be logical with someone who doesn't want to be logical doesn't work. Many people simply stop trying to defend themselves against false accusations because there was no answer that would satisfy their partner anyway.\u00a0In addition, the rules of the relationship seem to change on a daily basis, and what may be okay with your partner one day may make them angry the next. And this can leave people constantly feeling like they are on eggshells.\u00a0\u00a02.\u00a0The find support. Finding a support group or a group of people who remind you on a daily basis that you are a decent person is always a good idea. One of the things that can happen when we are with someone who does emotionally abusive things\u00a0is begin to have a negative\u00a0concept of ourselves. Surrounding yourself with people who remind you that you are a good person\u00a0is a great idea. 3.\u00a0They reinvest in themselves. Try to find some time for yourself. This couldn't possibly sound more clich\u00e9, but it is actually true. Whether that is taking up a new hobby or doing an old one. One thing that can happen when emotional abuse\u00a0takes place in a relationship\u00a0is the person\u00a0being abused can begin to isolate and not do the things that make them enjoy life. Taking some time for the self can sometimes bring things into perspective.I don't know if you are still in counseling, but if you are and you are getting what you need then that is great. If not, there are others you can try. It's important to find the right fit. As for the question of whether or not you should leave your partner, that is a question that can only be answered by you. But you could ask yourself some questions\u00a0 like these to help you decide:1. What are some of my values about relationships? Do\u00a0I\u00a0want Trust? Honesty? Ask yourself if you have these things in your relationship.2. Do I feel like this relationship brings out the best in me, or does it seem to bring me down?3. If I want to stay in this relationship, what are some specific things that need to change? Hope some of these suggestions help. Good luck to you. Be well.Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "He isn't violent, but he has anger issues and deep insecurities. He's working on them and has improved. We started counseling, and he participated in one or two individual sessions, but we broke up again shortly thereafter. Now his constant questions and accusations are getting really draining."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2262
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It can be difficult to get counseling if you don't feel supported by family members.\u00a0 There might be a few options.\u00a0 If you are in school, I'd recommend talking to a school counselor or school nurse.\u00a0 They often will be able to help you access free\u00a0or affordable\u00a0counseling resources in your community.\u00a0 In addition, depending on where you live, it's also often possible to call 211 for referrals to free or low cost counseling services in your area.I'd encourage you not to give up. You are on the right track.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I think I have depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and I have anger issues. I told my mom over and over again. She told me she would get me a therapist, but she never did. I just found out that my mom can't afford a therapist for me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2263
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.\u00a0 This sounds like a really difficult situation for the whole family.\u00a0 Since the answer to this question will depend a lot on the applicable state laws, I would suggest talking with a local attorney.\u00a0 That being said, I see two competing issues here.\u00a0 On the one side is the duty of confidentiality the counselors owed\u00a0to your relative.\u00a0 On the other side is the duty the counselors had to act reasonably to protect your relative from harm.\u00a0 Generally there is not a requiremt for substance abuse treatment centers to notify family members if an adult client relapses.A local attorney will be able to provide more specific guidance on the legal obligtions and liabilities in this situation.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a relative who is in his twenties.  He was in a drug rehabilitation program and got kicked out for using drugs again. No one informed family that he was using drugs again.  He subsequently overdosed and was found dead.\r\nIs their accountability of counselors, therapists or the halfway house for not reporting that he had relapsed? Is there a legal case for failing to report?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2264
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello! Thank you for your question. I have a worked with many people who have become addicted to benzodiazepines, like Clonazepam. It is a difficult road for people who are trying to become clean. It is also a very difficult road for those who love the person and are trying to be supportive. During those times, it is important to remember to take care of yourself, too. As for taking your friend's pills, my concern would be the legal ramifications that you could face should you ever be caught with someone else's prescription medication, and especially these types of medications. Our laws have become much more strict surrounding prescription drug sales and possession due to the increase in prescription drug abuse. In addition, people who are in active addiction are likely to find some other means to get their drug, so it would do little to help the overall problem. I don't know about your friend's family situation, but they may be a better route to take if you are concerned about your friend. They may already be involved, but with your help\u00a0you\u00a0may\u00a0be able to convince your friend to go to treatment willingly. That is usually better. In many states, there are also involuntary committal processes where a person's family may be able to convince a court to force the person into treatment. This varies from state to state. If your friend's family is not aware of this option, it may be something to look into. It usually does take a relative, or a medical provider, to begin this process if it is available. I hope this was helpful, and I wish you and your friend well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My friend is abusing her prescription medicine. Even though she told me she didn't have any more pills, I found she has prescriptions for anxiety medications."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2265
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\nHello! Thank you for your question. There are few things\r\nthat people find more personal than their sexual relationships. When we feel\r\nconnected to our partner, sex can be best thing since sliced bread. However, if\r\nwe feel disconnected in some way, sex can feel degrading and even painful. \nI don\u2019t know the specifics about your relationship or how\r\ncomfortable you are in talking to your boyfriend, but this is one of those\r\nsituations where communicating your fears is a good idea. The only exception to\r\nthat would be if you believe he is actually a threat to you in some way. If you\r\nbelieve that, then you should do whatever you think is safe. It sounds like\r\nthere is a part of you that is already afraid of him, and if that is the case\r\nthen remaining safe is your top priority. \nAssuming you are able to share with him your feelings,\r\ntelling him what you are and are not interested in sexually is very appropriate\r\nand sexually healthy. Sex is something that is supposed to be enjoyable for\r\nall parties. All parties should feel respected and able to say \u201cno\u201d to\r\nabsolutely anything they are not comfortable with. \nI call the respectful agreement between sexual partners, \u201csex\r\ntrust.\u201d Sex Trust means your partner respects your boundaries. It means they\r\nwon\u2019t degrade you sexually with hurtful words, forced sex, or forcing or\r\ncoercing sex in ways someone is not interested in having. \u00a0Your personal safety and mental well-being is\r\nwhat is most important. \nNow, if there is a part of you that is curious about BDSM\r\nand may be interested in participating in it, there are many websites that you\r\ncan explore to learn information. I will warn you, some websites and articles\r\nare better or worse than others, but you may at least feel more informed. \nMany people engage in BDSM and have happy relationships, but\r\nagain, it completely depends on what each person in the relationship wants. It is\r\nalso important to know that BDSM is not\u00a0just one thing and people practice it\r\ndifferently based on comfort. If it is something you are uncomfortable with,\r\nthen you shouldn\u2019t feel obligated to do it.\n\u00a0\nI hope this was helpful. Be well.\n\u00a0\nRobin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC\n", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm concerned about my boyfriend. I suffer from anxiety, but I always have this feeling he wants to hurt me because he told me he was interested in BDSM intercourse. We haven't tried it, but I've had this feeling he always wants to."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2266
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's never to late to let a person know how you feel.\u00a0 You never know where it will take you.\u00a0 You don't want to hold this regret of not letting your feelings known and wondering \"what if\" for the rest of your life. \u00a0 That can be torturous. \u00a0 Now prepare for whatever..if his feelings are the same or if they are not.\u00a0 If they are the same...great.\u00a0 If they are not, feel good that at least you let a person know they hold a special place in your life and wish him love, peace and happiness in his life.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have had a crush on this guy for years. I last talked to him a few years ago when we graduated from high school. We left off on a good note. Should I message him and see how he is doing, or is it too late?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2267
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\nHello, and thank you for your question. The question about\r\nwhether or not to cheat is based on personal values that can only be answered\r\nby you. However, here are a few things to consider and questions to ask\r\nyourself to help you find your answer:\n1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\r\nDo you feel like you are violating your own\r\nvalues or morals? This is important, because we all have different values and\r\nmorals surrounding sex, love, and monogamy. If you value monogamous\r\nrelationships and find yourself cheating on your partner, then you may feel\r\nlike you are living in contradiction to your values, and most people are not\r\nhappy when they do that. However, if monogamy is not something you value, then\r\nperhaps it is time to re-evaluate the relationship and determine if it is still\r\nright for you. Not all people want monogamous relationships, and that\r\nis alright. Finally,\u00a0if you value your husband\u2019s feelings and know that the\r\naffairs would hurt him, then your behaviors may again be in contrast to your\r\nown values. That can only be determined by you. \n2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Based on how you describe your relationship, it\r\nsounds like you are not very satisfied with the way it is.\u00a0 From the outside, it looks like the affairs\r\nare a way to \u201cget even\u201d with your husband or to feel better after an argument. This\r\nis something that can happen when mutual respect starts to fade in a\r\nrelationship and gets replaced with contempt. We can simply stop caring about\r\nhow our actions hurt each other, or potentially hurt each other. Perhaps the\r\nquestion to ask here is, when you look out toward the future with your husband,\r\nis this the pattern that you want to keep? The pattern of very little sex,\r\nargument, and then satisfying the pain or dissatisfaction with affairs. \n\u00a03.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0What are your goals for this relationship? If we\r\nstart to become disconnected in a relationship, we can begin to do things on\r\nautopilot. Get up, get the kids up, go to work, come home, and go to bed. None\r\nof which requires any intimacy at all. Are you still able to see the hopes and\r\ndreams you once had for this relationship?\n\u00a04.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\r\nHave you considered seeking marital counseling? Not\r\nhaving affairs won\u2019t actually fix the part of the relationship that is leading\r\nyou to have them. If there is something broken, it sometimes requires some help\r\nto get it fixed. \n\u00a0Hopefully these questions and thoughts will help you come to\r\nsome kind of conclusion about what is right for you and your relationship. I certainly\r\nwish you well. \n\u00a0Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC \n", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We don't have sex a lot. I cheat when we argue. I don't kiss or have unprotected sex with them. It's a one time thing, and I never see them twice."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2268
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\nHello, and thank you for your question. Loving someone who\r\ndoesn\u2019t respect or treat you well can be enormously difficult and painful. \nMany people who find themselves in an emotionally hurtful\r\nrelationship say that it was wonderful when it first started, but that over\r\ntime their partner\u2019s behaviors changed and they became emotionally or\r\nphysically abusive. \nI want to say right away that it is not your fault in any\r\nway if someone is abusive to you. It does not mean that you are broken or that there\r\nis something wrong with your character if you have not left the situation.\r\nPeople stay for many reasons, such as fear, finances, children, pressure from\r\nothers, and love. \nMany people have had to leave their abusive partners who\r\nthey still love to preserve their own safety and regain the sense of self they\r\nmay have lost. It is a very difficult thing to do, even if you know it is the\r\nright thing. \nThe person who really needs to take a hard look at\r\nthemselves is the person doing the abusing.\nIt is very common for mental and emotional abuse to wear\r\naway at someone\u2019s self-esteem. This can lead to other problems, like depression\r\nand anxiety. These issues sometimes require professional support to manage,\r\nsuch as a counselor or perhaps a doctor who may prescribe medication. \nA counselor may be able to help you sort through your fears\r\nand concerns about staying or leaving. To look at things from different angles,\r\nand to help you decide what is best for you. \nYou have not said that your husband has been physically abusive\r\nto you, but if that has been the case, then you must consider your physical\r\nsafety first. Leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time.\r\nGetting help from professionals would be critical, and I would recommend your\r\nlocal domestic violence program. \nWhatever you decide to do is the right thing for you. I\r\nwould encourage you to ask yourself honestly about your reasons for staying and\r\nthe barriers that may keep you from going. You do deserve to be happy and\r\nemotionally safe. If you do not feel like you have that safety, then seeking\r\nsomeone to help you sort through these things is a good plan. \nI wish you well.\nRobin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC \n\u00a0\n", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I love him, but he doesn\u2019t show me love. He talks badly about me to his friends."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2269
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First of all, where did you find the pills? Did you have to go into her private space or things to find them? If so, you might want to do some research on codependency. I recommend the book \"The Everything Guide to Codependency.\" You can find it here:\u00a0https://www.amazon.ca/The-Everything-Guide-Codependency-codependent/dp/1440573905 . It's not honest to go searching through someone's things. You dislike the deceit in her, so why model it in yourself?If the pills were just left out, that's a different story. Again though, model honesty. Talk to about what you found. Avoid being accusitory. A good old \"I found these...what's going on with this?\" might be a good place to start. Tell her how it makes you feel. Have you ever heard of \"I statements?\" Google this....you will find a lot of good templates on how to frame this conversation.\u00a0At the end of the day though, these are her choices. Not yours. All you can do is tell her how you feel, make a few gentle suggestions, and get back to taking care of you. If it gets to the point where seeing her downward spiral is too much for you, let her know this and tell her you can no longer be involved, for the sake of your own health and sanity.\u00a0There is nothing wrong with trying to help, but ask yourself, are you really being helpful? If you are starting to feel resentful, know that you have crossed the line into codependency and back away.Hope this helps and all the best,Aleisha", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My friend is abusing her prescription medicine. Even though she told me she didn't have any more pills, I found she has prescriptions for anxiety medications."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2270
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Forgiveness takes time. You know what you did, and by the sounds of it you are not impressed with yourself. In my mind, this is a sign that you are a good person. You recognize that you did something that crossed your own moral code. You could have just done this thing and not felt anything - but you do feel. And that is OK. It's not supposed to feel good when you do something wrong.Be patient with yourself. These things can take time. I suspect that you will be one of those people who slowly let go of their shame and guilt. The trick is to feel the pain but to not ignore/detach from the life that you are living right now. Don't deprive yourself of the opportunity to feel joy again.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Something happened this summer that I cannot forgive myself for. When I think about what happened, I feel ashamed and guilty even though my loved ones forgave me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2271
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\nHello, and thank you for your question. Being bisexual can be particularly\r\ndifficult because it is often misunderstood, even by people who are \u201csupposed\u201d\r\nto be part of your own community, such as lesbians and gays. It happens so\r\noften that there is actually a term for it \u2013\u00a0\r\nbi-erasure. This is simply something that happens when people deny that\r\nbisexuality is a real thing, or discriminate against bisexuals due to beliefs\r\nlike your parents seem to have. \nThe unfortunate truth is that you can never\r\nbe sure of how you parents may take this kind of information. It sounds\r\npromising that they are accepting of other sexual orientations, and it may\r\nsimply be that your parents lack education about bisexuality. With accurate\r\ninformation, they may come around, but there is no way to be sure. \nSome of my colleagues have already given you good information. Here are some more\u00a0things that you can consider\r\nand questions you can ask yourself before making the decision to tell them:\n\u00a0\n1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If they don\u2019t respond the way you want them to, have you developed a support\r\nsystem to support you through it? This is very important. The truth is that all\r\nthe friends in the world won\u2019t prevent pain or sadness if your parents don\u2019t\r\nrespond as you hope, but they will at least be there to remind you that you ARE\r\nokay as you are. And that is critical for you to remember. \n\u00a0\n2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 There is great information on the internet about bisexuality that you can\r\noffer your parents if you think it would be helpful. It may be important for\r\nthem to know the kind of damage that is being done to bisexual adults and young\r\npeople because of the myths surrounding bisexuality. Here is an article from\r\nGLAAD about bi-erasure: http://www.glaad.org/bisexual/bierasure\n\u00a0\n3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Coming out to people is obviously deeply personal and should only take\r\nplace when you are ready. Sometimes people get pressured from friends, media,\r\nand even people they are romantically involved with to come out before they are\r\nready. It really is up to you. If you are feeling pressure from others, don\u2019t\r\nfeel bad about setting your boundaries and telling them that you will come out\r\non your own time. Intimate partners should respect you enough to understand\r\nthis. \n\u00a0\n4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Something else to think about is your own comfort in being bisexual. Just\r\nbecause someone is LGBTQ doesn\u2019t mean that they necessarily want to be. Many\r\npeople struggle with this. Having\r\nyour own doubts or insecurities may also play a part in how comfortable you are\r\nin telling your parents. So, perhaps do some self-exploration about your\r\nfeelings toward yourself. \n\u00a0\nSometimes people take friends with them\r\nwhen they decide to come out to their parents. This is something you may want\r\nto consider. The important thing to remember is that you are okay. Really. If\r\nyour parents don\u2019t respond well, that doesn\u2019t mean that they never will. Some\r\nstart off upset, but then work their way through it. \nBest of luck to you. \nRobin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC \n", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My parents seem okay with other sexualities, but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about bisexuality, they say things like \u201cthey'll do anything\u201d or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am bisexual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2272
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you have the perception that people are frequently disappointed in you, wish you were different or someone else, and ultimately reject you. One question I would have for you is what is your evidence that people feel this way? Is there anything in people's words or behaviors that gives you this impression? If your not sure, it may be useful for you to try to notice what people say and do in response to you, even though you perceive these attitudes within them. Additionally, working with a competent therapist may be a great way to get an answer to your question as well as developing ways to move forward with that answer and gain a sense of self-esteem and security in your relationships.One possibility that comes to mind, of which there may be more, is that as we grow up, we often develop relational templates, or sets of expectations about how people are and will relate to us, which influence our experiences and behavior in relationships. Sometimes the templates that we develop to stay connected growing up are not particularly adaptive for adult life and can hamper our self-esteem and capacity for comfortable intimacy as an adult. You ask a great question here, and one that can be very hard to see through, given the difficulty of feeling that people think of you in this way, and I hope that you will stay curious about this and consider working with a therapist who is trained to help you discover the answer.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel like every time I do something someone asks me to, I never fully meet what they want. I feel that when I finish it, they always think that they should have picked someone else to do it. I feel like  they just want nothing to do with me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2273
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\nHello, and thank you for your question. You are clearly a\r\nresourceful young person to reach out like this to find help. Good for you. I\r\nhave a few ideas and perhaps some other counselors will add some thoughts, too.\r\n\nFirst, good for you for taking care of yourself and making\r\nreally good decisions \u2013 such as not getting into the car with dad when he is\r\nintoxicated. It is really important that you consider your safety above all\r\nelse. \nTo answer your heading question, yes, it is quite common for\r\npeople to blame themselves for other people\u2019s actions. There are various\r\nreasons why we do this. For one thing, someone may tell us that their behaviors are our fault. And depending on things like our relationship to that\r\nperson, past experiences, and our self-esteem, we may actually start to believe\r\nit. What is important to remember is that your parents have the responsibility\r\nto be sure that you are safe and\r\ncared for, not the other way around. \nAs for the other things you mentioned, I am concerned about both\r\nyour physical and emotional safety and well-being. It sounds like your father\r\nhas an alcohol abuse problem, and living with someone who is struggling with\r\naddiction can be hard for anyone, let alone a teenager who is also trying to\r\ndeal with things like school. \nYou may want to see if your school has a counselor or\r\nsomeone you can talk to about what is going on. I will tell you that in some\r\nstates, what you have told me may be something that a counselor would have to\r\nreport to child protection services, but not necessarily. If you are concerned\r\nabout that, ask the counselor what they are obligated to report. \nIf you don\u2019t know a counselor, think about any other adult\r\nthat you would feel comfortable talking to. They may have some ideas. \nSometimes individual states have non-profit chat lines or\r\nhotlines for teens to call if they are struggling with things. You may be able\r\nto find something like that in your state. I do warn your about doing random\r\nsearches, not every website is good, so be careful. \nThis is clearly a tough spot for you to be in, so one of the\r\nthings that I encourage you to do while searching for support is to focus on\r\ntaking care of yourself. Sometimes things like this can really bring us down and\r\nwe stop doing the things we enjoy. Try really hard not to let that happen. If\r\nyou have interests, do them. If you catch yourself thinking too hard about\r\nthings, try to find something fun to do to distract yourself. Try to take care\r\nof yourself in other ways, such as eating well. Exercise can really help when\r\nwe get stressed. \nI hope some of this was helpful. Good luck.\n\u00a0\nRobin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC \n", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a teenage girl, and my dad is an alcoholic. I hate being at home with him because he just stresses me out. He can be picking me up from basketball practice or piano lessons, and half of the time, I don't even know if he's sober or not. I refuse to get into the vehicle with him and walk home sometimes. I've either been barely sleeping or I over sleep, so I'm always tired. I live in a small town, so there's no one I can really talk to because I'm not really that close with my family."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2274
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I understand that at times it\u2019s difficult to share with our parents what we have been trough, due to fear of judgment or punishment; but I have noticed that keeping our experiences secret, intensifies them.\u00a0 And Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can haunt us for a long time if we do not learn to process the memories that cause those symptoms.\u00a0 If you have been victim of a traumatic event that you are not prepared to share with your parents, it\u2019s important that you seek help with a counselor, therapist or psychologist. \u00a0Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a great technique to cope with physical symptoms, you could also use Narrative therapy, Creative Therapy or Journaling as a way to express memories and process them with your therapist.\u00a0 A psychiatrist can also prescribe medication to manage the symptoms, but is very important that you address the trauma so you can heal and go back to live your life. \u00a0\u00a0Many organizations like the United Way (2-1-1 in many states) offer resources and referrals to put you in touch with mental health providers, you could also talk to your school counselor, doctor or church to find referral that could help.\u00a0Tip: You don\u2019t have to tell you story to each person you ask for help, you can just start by asking for a counselor referral.\u00a0\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo superar el Desorden de Estr\u00e9s Post Traum\u00e1tico sin que mis padres se enteren?Comprendo que muchas veces puede ser dif\u00edcil compartir nuestras experiencias con nuestros padres, muchas veces por miedo a que nos juzguen o castiguen; pero he observado c\u00f3mo mantener un secreto, lo vuelve m\u00e1s fuerte y dif\u00edcil de manejar.\u00a0\u00a0 El Desorden de Estr\u00e9s Post Traum\u00e1tico puede ser una condici\u00f3n que nos persigue por mucho tiempo si no aprendemos a procesar las memorias que causan esos s\u00edntomas.\u00a0 Si has sido v\u00edctima de un trauma que tal vez no est\u00e1s listo(a) para compartir con tus padres, es importante que busques la ayuda de alg\u00fan consejero profesional, terapista o sic\u00f3logo.\u00a0 La Terapia Cognitiva Conductual enfocada en el Trauma, es una t\u00e9cnica que te ayudara a manejar muchos de los s\u00edntomas, tambi\u00e9n puedes utilizar diarios o Terapia Narrativa o creativa, para expresar memorias y procesarlas luego en terapia.\u00a0 Un Psiquiatra tambi\u00e9n te puede proveer medicamentos que ayudan a manejar los s\u00edntomas del Estr\u00e9s Post Traum\u00e1tico, pero es importante que atiendas el problema inicial para poder sanar por completo y volver a tomar las riendas de tu vida. \u00a0\u00a0Muchas organizaciones como los Fondos Unidos (2-1-1 en muchos estados) tiene recursos que proveen referidos a consejeros o profesionales de la salud mental.\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n puedes preguntarle a tu consejero escolar, doctor o en la iglesia. \u00a0\nSugerencia: No tienes que contarle a todos tu problema, solo pide que te recomienden a un consejero o terapista.\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it\u2019s so vivid, it\u2019s like it\u2019s happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2275
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "As long as you try to reach others expectations you will never feel satisfied or accepted.\u00a0 How about setting your own expectations for self and strive for those.\u00a0 Make sure your expectations are reachable and realistic. ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel like every time I do something someone asks me to, I never fully meet what they want. I feel that when I finish it, they always think that they should have picked someone else to do it. I feel like  they just want nothing to do with me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2276
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\nHello, and thank you for reaching out to ask for help. Surely this is a very confusing time for you! If you have never had these\r\nfeelings and desires it could certainty shake everything you thought you knew\r\nabout yourself. \nMy guess is that you becoming sick around the time that this\r\nstarted is likely a coincidence, but I understand how you would make the\r\nconnection. \nI have a feeling that a few things may be going on here. It\r\nis really hard to say since I don\u2019t know you, how old you are, etc. But, I will\r\nshare you with you some thoughts. \nSome people, when they have undesirable thoughts that really\r\nsurprise them, have a really tough time getting rid of them. Our reaction to\r\nthe thought can be very strong and our tendency to try to block it out, stuff\r\nit, avoid it, etc. is not always successful. In fact, it\u2019s usually not. \nIt\u2019s like telling you not to think of pink elephants. I\r\nwould be willing to bet that you thought of a pink elephant just now. \nSo, rather than fighting thoughts that you find confusing,\r\nsometimes it is helpful to allow yourself to explore the thought with curiosity\r\nand without judgement. Where is this thought coming from? What are my feelings\r\nabout it? Asking yourself these questions may help you come to a resolution\r\nabout what is going on. \nOne possibility is that you have developed an anxiety about\r\nyour thoughts and now you are in the process of obsessing about them, but\r\nanother possibility is that you are legitimately exploring your sexuality and\r\ngender. I get the feeling from your question that you do not want to believe\r\nthat it is second possibility. And that is okay. \nYou can try some of my suggestions, but you can also see a\r\ncounselor who may be able to help you work through your confusion. I would\r\nsuggest someone who has experience working with sexuality issues. You can\r\nusually find out what a counselor works with on their website. What is\r\nimportant is that you find someone who is non-judgmental about what you are\r\nexperiencing. \n\u00a0\nI wish you well.\nRobin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC\n\u00a0\n", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I got sick really bad and was throwing up for three days and nights. I thought I was going to die. Then about a week later, I started having this desire to be female. I never had this desire before. All I can think about is being a woman. I don't get pleasure from my penis anymore either. Women are attractive, but not like before. I can also find men attractive now. I'm too ashamed to tell anyone."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2277
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Wow what a painful journey you have been in for a long time. Death and grief bring up so many painful reminders of relationships--what they could have been, never were, and what was lost. With death of a family member the family often falls apart for a while... or longer. I hope you can find some support for you and your pain that was occurring before your mom's passing. I also hope you can find someone to help you set boundaries with your sister so you can have your time (as long as you need) to heal from losing your mom and then later figure out how to interact with your sister. ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "Last year, I just always felt hopeless. I don't have a great relationship with my sister. I lost my mother recently, and that really added to my sadness. My sister always brings up how I was never close to my mother."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2278
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The person who can answer this question is the person you want to rebuild that trust with.\u00a0 They are the only one who can tell you what it will take for them to trust you again.\u00a0 What they tell you may seem hard or impossible but unfortunately that is what THEY need.\u00a0 It is up to you if you feel and know you can provide what they request.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "i was addicted to porn since the second grade. I'm in my early 40s and overcame my addiction during my separation from my wife of 15 years."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2279
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I will not say that you can't but I will say it will be much harder and the time may take much longer.\u00a0 Getting help and having someone to be there with you through the ups and down of PTSD makes the journey much easier.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have PTSD from childhood events and other traumas as an adult. I have panic attacks, nightmares, anger, and at times depression. I feel like I'm always on the edge or just apathetic.  Can I fix this by myself?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2280
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have you spoken to him about your fears? Perhaps you can explain this feeling to him and let him know what might lead to feeling more secure. \u00a0Also, it is important to trust your intuition! \u00a0Perhaps there are good reasons to feel concerned. It may not be paranoia - it may be based in reality! \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We go to different schools, and we don't see each other that often. I just feel very paranoid that there's someone else or that he could be hiding something from me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2281
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I am so sorry this happened. \u00a0Sharing a part of your private life without your permission can be so painful. \u00a0I might suggest (depending on your relationship) reaching out to your sister and discussing this (or setting boundary that you don't want to discuss your private life). \u00a0I might also speak with your wife and share how hurt you are and what you need to happen moving forward to begin to heal. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "What should I do when we see each other?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2282
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello! \u00a0Thank you for your question. \u00a0Exploring your sexual orientation and attraction is a wonderful opportunity to get to know yourself! \u00a0I would be curious to know what feelings you might have related to the possibility of being bi; What messages you may have received related to this orientation and any concerns you have about possible sexual orientations. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been noticing myself really enjoying watching/reading about gay or lesbian couples. I've also been imagining what it might be like to date a girl, and I like the idea. I also find guys cute too. Does this make me bisexual?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2283
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi. Do you have any opportunity to work with a therapist? \u00a0It sounds like it might be really great to explore these feelings. If you aren't able to, there are many awesome gender work books available that you could use to explore your thoughts and feelings. Also - google \"ask a gender therapist\" - so many amazing video blogs to answer many questions! \u00a0Good luck!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel like I was born in the wrong body I feel like I should be a girl not a boy\r\nEver since I was young, I have wanted to be a girl. I felt like what I was wasn\u2019t me. I want to know what I can do about it. My family is against transgender people and don't want anything to do with them. I want to be \u201cme.\u201d I feel as if I'll be happy then. I don't look in mirrors, and I don't like my reflection. Recently, I have been taking things to help even though they were not prescribed. I know I should have this handled by a professional."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2284
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. I completely agree with Dr. Zehner. Many couples are in open-type\u00a0or polyamorous relationships where one or both partners engage in sexual relationships with others. The key thing about this is that it really does have to be something that both people are okay with. Now, as Dr. Zehner indicated, what may be okay today may not feel okay tomorrow, so good communication is essential.\u00a0The truth is, even in polyamorous relationships where partners are in agreement, jealousy does sometimes happen. Here is a good article about polyamorous relationships and the issue of jealousy: http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/02/polyamorous-dealing-jealousy/This site has many other articles about polyamory. If you type in \"polyamory\" in their search box, you will find some good information. I wish you well,Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am currently suffering from erectile dysfunction and have tried Viagra, Cialis, etc.  Nothing seemed to work.  My girlfriend of 3 years is very sexually frustrated.  I told her that it is okay for her to have sex with other men.  Is that really okay?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2285
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "How can I get my mother to listen to me without her freaking out?Communication with our loved ones can be tricky, but it is the key to maintaining a healthy and functional relationship with them. At times, it seems difficult to communicate with our family because many feelings and \u201cundercover\u201d messages are attached. Especially with our mothers, who often provide advice and feel responsible for us, it may feel like they are making everything about themselves as they express their worries and concerns.So what to do? First will be important to practice active listening skills, to ensure that you are receiving and understanding the message, without filtering it trough your own emotions or preconceptions of the person who speaks. \u00a0Second, learn and practice assertive communication skills.\u00a0 Those will help you to communicate a message clearly and in pieces.\u00a0 It also emphasizes using I-statements to express how you feel at times when emotions become affected by the interaction.\u00a0 Third, you should practice, by writing your I-statement or role playing with your counselor. \u00a0\u00a0The trick with communication skills is that we need to practice them as often as possible\u00a0until you to master them.\u00a0 You can also contact a family therapist to improve those skills if it becomes challenging, or contact a mediator if more issues arise.\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo lograr que mi mam\u00e1 me escuche sin alarmarse tanto?La comunicaci\u00f3n con nuestros seres queridos puede ser dificultosa, pero es la clave para mantener relaciones saludables y funcionales con ellos.\u00a0 A veces, nos parece aun m\u00e1s dif\u00edcil comunicarnos con nuestra familia, porque hay muchos sentimientos y mensajes envueltos en la comunicaci\u00f3n.\u00a0 Especialmente nuestras \u00a0madres, \u00a0pueden hacer parecer que est\u00e1n convirtiendo el asunto en algo personal, cuando se sienten preocupadas y responsables por nosotros y nuestras acciones.\u00bfY qu\u00e9 hacemos?\u00a0 Primero debemos aprender a escuchar activamente, para asegurarnos de que comprendemos el mensaje, y que no lo estemos filtrando a trav\u00e9s de nuestras emociones e ideas de la otra persona. Segundo, aprende y practica comunicaci\u00f3n asertiva.\u00a0 Esto te ayudara a comunicar un mensaje claramente y en pedazos.\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n te ayudar a aprender expresiones del Yo, para identificar sentimientos afectados durante la interacci\u00f3n.\u00a0 Tercero, es importante que practiques estas destrezas, ya sea escribiendo o con tu consejero.\u00a0 El secreto est\u00e1 en practicar las t\u00e9cnicas de comunicaci\u00f3n cuantas veces sea posible, hasta que las uses espont\u00e1neamente.\u00a0 Si tienes dificultad aprendiendo estas t\u00e9cnicas, o el conflicto con tu mama es uno muy dif\u00edcil de resolver, puedes contactar un consejero o mediador familiar para que te asista.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My mother and I have an okay relationship. I know she loves me unconditionally, and I love her the same. However, more times than not, I'm afraid to tell her anything personal because she either doesn't listen, she turns it around and makes everything about her, or she ignores things - even when they are about my mental health."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2286
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "As frustrating and probably hurtful as your daughter's comments sound, there's also a message in them about how she genuinely feels.To some degree, your daughter and you may both feel similarly misunderstood by the other.Developing ways of listening and talking to one another to better understand how you each feel, would probably help a lot.One major point to be aware, is that the mother/daughter relationship dynamic, because it is strong, may slow the new dynamic of relating as two adults.Watch for your own tendency to expect your daughter to consider you as a parenting authority, instead of considering her as a grown person.The same is true of your daughter. \u00a0She may need to remind herself to talk to you as the adult she is.Her needs from you are real, they just need to be spoken to you in an adult way.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Me and my adult daughter just do not get along.  She's very belittling to me when I don't agree with her. It's almost like she scolds me. We get into all out war. She's said I don't support her in what she does and that I've never loved her. She calls me horrible names, and she pushes my buttons to the point I call her names."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2287
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, your former social worker should return your phone call.It is the professional ethic to do so and plain human decency to do so.If he doesn't, there is nothing you can directly do about the fact of his ignoring you.There are formal complaints you can make, which you can consider doing.What matters most is receiving social work service.Stick with looking for another social worker who is willing to help you.The self-doubts you mention may be worth examining.They do not, however excuse the social worker mishandling himself.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I terminated my counseling relationship with a social worker several years ago. I am now realizing that I would like to begin counseling again.  The social worker\u2019s voicemail message says that he returns calls in 24 hours, but he hasn't called me back. I called him on the weekend and made it clear that I want him to call me back.  Can he just ignore me?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2288
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry to hear about that situation. If the woman was your therapist (or had been at one time), this could represent a significant ethical violation when she created a dual relationship with you.Even if you were not her client, this might still be an ethical violation. Counselors are held to a high standard of conduct and honesty at all times.In a situation like this you might consider filing a complaint with the state regulatory board.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How do I ever trust another woman? I have found myself constantly reading between the lines with every other woman that I meet. I am having a difficult time making any sort of connection to anyone because of her deception and willingness to say and do literally anything in order to control my emotions.\r\nOnce the \"relationship\" was over, she became extremely abusive and has attempted to intimidate me into silence regarding the many false claims made on her immigration application."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2289
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "<!--[if gte mso 9]>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\r\n  <w:LsdException Locked=\"false\" Priorit", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Can a counselor take sides with one parent and allow a parent to order the child to tell the counselor \"every detail\" about what happened during the other parent\u2019s visitation in order to help build a case for child custody?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2290
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is normal to seek other\u2019s attention and noticing that some people would not be interested.\u00a0\u00a0After all,\u00a0we belong to a social environment where we constantly receive other\u2019s feedback, which at times validates us, makes feel important and useful, like we belong; but also at times makes us feel isolated, different and neglected, which we could interpret as hate.The key is to be\u00a0aware of\u00a0what you think about what people think of you.\u00a0\u00a0 Got it?\u00a0 This part can be tricky at times, because, what others think about us does not really affect us, what really affects us is what we decide to believe, internalize, and make our reality.\u00a0 For example, I could choose to ignore a person\u2019s comment about me, or I could decide to focus on it all day, analyze why they said that and what have I done to them to get to that conclusion. \u00a0Eventually,\u00a0since we became so focused on that thought, we may end up believing that what the other person said about us was true, even if we did not agree to begin with.So how can we fix this?\u00a0 Awareness is the key!\u00a0 It is important that you understand the way you internalize external inputs, like comments, and to go through a process of discarding negative ones.\u00a0 It is also helpful to talk to your counselor about how you process feedback and validation so you learn to balance your positive traits\u00a0from\u00a0negatives and how that affects your relationships and self-esteem.\u00bfC\u00f3mo\u00a0me puede importar menos lo que la gente piensa?Siempre siento la necesidad de impresionar a otros, ya sea mi familia, la gente de la escuela o extra\u00f1os. \u00a0Y s\u00e9 que no importa lo que haga o cuanto haga, siempre habr\u00e1 personas que me odian.\u00a0 \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 me siento as\u00ed?Es com\u00fan que busquemos la atenci\u00f3n de otros y notemos que algunas personas no est\u00e1n interesadas.\u00a0 Despu\u00e9s de todo pertenecemos a un ambiente social donde constantemente recibimos comentarios, que a veces nos validan, alagan y nos hacen sentir como parte importante y funcional de la sociedad; pero en otros momentos nos hacen sentir aislados, ignorados y diferentes, lo cual lo pudi\u00e9ramos interpretar como odio.La clave es estar conscientes de lo que pensamos que los otros piensan de nosotros. \u00bfMe sigues?\u00a0 Esta parte puede ser algo confusa, porque lo que piensan otras personas de nosotros, no nos afecta directamente, lo que si nos afecta es lo que decidimos creer que otras personas piensan de nosotros; y luego lo internalizamos y hacemos parte de nuestra vida.\u00a0 Por ejemplo,\u00a0 podemos decidir ignorar lo que una persona dice de nosotros, o podemos decidir enfocarnos en ello todo el d\u00eda, analizando en detalle porque lo dijeron y que hemos hecho para hacer que ellos piensen as\u00ed. Eventualmente nos enfocamos tanto en ese pensamiento, que terminamos creyendo que es verdad, aun cuando originalmente no lo cre\u00edamos as\u00ed.\u00bfEntonces como lo arreglamos? La clave es concientizaci\u00f3n.\u00a0 Es importante entender la manera en que internalizamos las opiniones de otros, y que pasemos por un proceso de discriminaci\u00f3n, donde descartemos los comentarios negativos, hasta que aprendamos a ignorarlos. Tambi\u00e9n ayudar\u00eda hablar con un Consejero sobre como internamente validas y descartas los comentarios y opiniones externas, y como eso puede estar afectando tus relaciones y tu autoestima. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I always feel the need to impress people, whether it's my family, the people at school, or just random people. I know that no matter what I do or how I change, there will always be some people who hate me.  Why do I feel this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2291
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have you sought the support of a therapist really qualified in working through sexual trauma? It can take some work, but healing is possible. If you feel able to, it may also help to open a dialogue with your boyfriend about what you need from him when you have these flashbacks. Let him know what some helpful responses may be.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm fine when we start becoming intimate, but out of nowhere, I will get a flashback of what happened to me in the past. I start hysterically crying and freaking out when my boyfriend obviously has done nothing to hurt me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2292
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "We humans are social beings. We learn how to BE in relationship as children. The caregiving you received (or didn't receive) set the stage for how you show up in all your adult relationships. Insecurity in relationships often has much to do with feeling unheard or unseen, perhaps feeling like you don't matter. There are many ways to rewire these relational patterns, the first step of which is taking pause and noticing that you are feeling insecure - so congrats on that because clearly you are already there! \u00a0Next I'd suggest finding a relationship therapist to help you sort through your insecurities, either as a couple or individually.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I blame my past relationship for it. I know it is bad to be this way. I want to get past it."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2293
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Certainly counselling can help. however, there is a caveat, namely, you will need the right counsellor with the right approach. This leads to two questions: 1) What are the identifiers for the right counsellor, and 2) What is the right approach?1) What are the identifiers for the right counsellor? The right counsellor will almost certainly have a lot of experience. He or she will have done a lot personal work and have an ongoing practice of inner work both on their own and with the support of an experienced therapist. This person will be viewing you as a human being with challenges, not as a diagnostic category. He or she will be willing to work with you over an extended period of time and have experience doing such work. Further they will be well versed in approaches that are responsive to you in the moment and overall. The in-depth work will be collaborativel designed in an ongoing way that is responsive to you, the moment, your overall life experience, and their in-the-moment experience. It goes without saying that you will subjectively evaluate the felt sense of connection with this person and the feeling that they are invested in their work with you, value you as a human being, and value the connection. As well, it is crucial that you feel this connection and that your therapist 'gets you.' 2) What is the right approach?\u00a0 As Carl Jung stated, \"When the doctor sits down with the patient he (or \r\nshe) must drop all theories and learn the theory of this person.\" The approach must include a bond between you and your therapist that is in a continuous process of development, attention to pre-verbal imprinting, development of awareness ability, ongoing development of the ability to attend to and stay with inner experience, development of a process orientation, attention to egoic structures that were seeded from the earliest days in the service of perceptions of threats to needs being met, identification of current egoic states and work with these inner selves and their relationship with each other to facilitate movement from developmental points of arrest, increased ability to access and contain non-ordinary states of consciousness, attending to what is, and working with this in the service of moving towards optimal human development.depression is generally experienced as the system shutting down. anxiety is a signal that something is wrong. anxiety is not the problem. it is a sign that there is a problem. the core of these issues is a lack of inner security that is the outcome of insufficient bonding. the work of psychotherapy is to establish an environment and relationship that will facilitate work with the bonding ruptures and re-initiation of the developmental process that stopped at an early stage.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2294
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "When it comes to trauma, especially in the event that it has caused you to develop PTSD, there can be a lot of difficulty in attempting to resolve these issues on your own simply because of how strong your urge to avoid it whenever thoughts of the traumatic experience come up. PTSD is best treated with the help of a mental health professional and if using the Cognitive Processing Approach can be treated in as few as 17 weeks. As for your other concerns, many of these can be treated independently if you have the motivation to manage your way through. Panic attacks and depression, specifically, often respond well to self-help treatment manuals. The Centre for Clinical Interventions is a great online resource for workbooks to help you learn to manage the depression and panic attacks. Whether you decide to work through these concerns on your own or in professional therapy, just know that your panic attacks must be managed prior to addressing your trauma. Hope this is helpful and if you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have PTSD from childhood events and other traumas as an adult. I have panic attacks, nightmares, anger, and at times depression. I feel like I'm always on the edge or just apathetic.  Can I fix this by myself?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2295
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0A lot of times when you're experiencing nightmares and flashbacks, it can be a sign that you haven't fully processed what happened. Our brains tend to replay scenes in our life that we wish had turned out differently or \u00a0in an effort to desensitize us to it. \u00a0If you are comfortable with it, you may want to consider sharing what you're experiencing with your current partner so that he is able to understand what's going on. Also, you may want to consider \u00a0what parts of your past relationship you blame yourself for. This can be a difficult task to undertake on your own, and the help of the therapist may be necessary to sort through the memories in a safe way. \u00a0Typically however, flashbacks and nightmares are a sign that the trauma \u00a0of what you went through needs to be addressed. \u00a0it's a great thing that you were able to have the courage to get out of that relationship and you should be proud of yourself for that. \u00a0You may want to \u00a0begin therapy to address these traumatic memories and help you to sort through any conflicting emotions you have about it (i.e. \u00a0Feeling like it's your fault for not recognizing the abuse or getting out of the relationship sooner, blaming yourself for being \u00a0\" The kind of person who gets into an abusive relationship \", \u00a0or believing that you somehow caused your ex to abuse you in some way.) \u00a0These types of beliefs and feelings can prevent us from moving past traumatic experiences and a trained therapist can certainly help you sort through them.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2296
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0This sounds very hurtful for you to be on the receiving end of this. You can ask yourself \" what am I learning from the way I am being treated? \" \u00a0and consider whether or not this is in fact either (1) \u00a0A message or value that you agree with and believe will strengthen your relationship and help you to grow as a person or (2) \u00a0A message or value that is damaging to the relationship or \u00a0to your view of your self and others. \u00a0Once you've considered that and come to your own conclusion, you will likely know what you need to do. \u00a0If you're still stuck, you may want to consider seeing an individual therapist for yourself \u00a0to process your feelings about the relationship or a couples therapist with your partner to work on improving your communication with each other.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "When my boyfriend gets in a snit, he gives me the silent treatment for days. When I ask what is wrong, I get nothing: no reply, no phone call. If he does reply, it is something very sarcastic and hurtful. He never admits he is wrong and never apologizes."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2297
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0Sexual intimacy can be very triggering for survivors even when it is both wanted and consensual. \u00a0You may want to consider seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma to work through the abuse if you have not already done so. Often times triggers still hold such a powerful effect when the emotions related to the abuse \u00a0have not been fully processed. \u00a0In the meantime, you may want to consider coming up with a Safe Word to let your partner know that you are being triggered or to communicate your physical boundaries to him. \u00a0Often times, the experience of communicating \u00a0your physical boundaries to your partner, having those boundaries respected and validated, and having a partner who is understanding and \u00a0willing to engage in intimacy in such a way that does not violate your physical boundaries \u00a0can reinforce a sense of safety with him.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm fine when we start becoming intimate, but out of nowhere, I will get a flashback of what happened to me in the past. I start hysterically crying and freaking out when my boyfriend obviously has done nothing to hurt me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2298
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "My initial response: \u00a0consider a more comprehensive MH assessment to determine other factors. A medical evaluation is warranted to rule out poor health issues. Blood work is helpful. Review what hadn't helped.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2299
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Could you tell her ? \u00a0What would happen if you said \"Mom, I love you and I really want to share myself with you, but often I you get upset and I don't want that to happen. I really want to be able to talk to you.\" \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My mother and I have an okay relationship. I know she loves me unconditionally, and I love her the same. However, more times than not, I'm afraid to tell her anything personal because she either doesn't listen, she turns it around and makes everything about her, or she ignores things - even when they are about my mental health."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2300
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "EMDR therapy has shown great results for work with PTSD symptoms which are similar to what you described. If you are unable to find a local EMDR specialist then I would suggest some meditation and journaling in addition to talk therapy to process your trauma. Your anxiety response centers int he brain are in hyper vigilance mode and retraining to turn down that response could be helpful for you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2301
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. Sleep problems, including insomnia and even the nightmares that you are writing about, are really common for people and so many people suffer from them. Here are a few things to consider or to try: 1. Have you changed\u00a0or started taking any new medication lately? Medications can certainly affect your sleep and some can even cause vivid or frightening dreams. If you are taking a new medication, talk to your provider about the nightmares, this may be the cause. 2. Stress can certainly increase our difficulty with sleep and can also begin to affect our dream states. The dreams may not make much sense, but then again even good dreams don't always make much sense. Ask yourself, do I have any new or renewed stressors in my life? Work, school, relationships, health.... all of these areas\u00a0and many more are places where stress can hide out. If this is the case, talk with your provider or consider seeing a counselor who may be able to help. 3. Something to consider is that once we start to have anxiety or stress about something, we can begin to obsess about it. My guess is that going to bed for sleep is no longer a pleasant thing for you. Your stress and fear of what may happen when you sleep could start way before you actually go to bed. This could increase your chances of having another bad dream. Try relaxation techniques before going to bed. If you have YouTube, you can pull up \"Guided Meditation for Sleep\" exercises to help you relax. There are many different ones to choose from. You may also want to try deep breathing.4. There are self-help ideas for managing bad nightmares. If you Google search \"Nightmare Rescripting\" or \"Nightmare Exposure\" you may find some ideas and instructions on how to manage dreams. I hope these ideas help. Be well... Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been having a lot of nightmares where I am being killed in different ways. I either wake up in a panic or just crying and sweating. It has made me terrified of falling asleep and is now affecting my daily life too.  Can I make the nightmares stop?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2302
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. First things first, I am so glad that you are alive and very sorry that you had to endure such a terrible experience. Now, let's talk about these nightmares. The first thing I want to tell you is that you are NOT losing your mind. Many people start to think that may be the case if they are still suffering from the affects of something that happened a long time ago. That's not the case. There is no time set time for which we should be \"over\" something like this. I am not sure if you received counseling after what happened to you, but that may be something to consider. Bad nightmares could be the sign of something like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which would include other symptoms like being startled easily, re-experiencing the event, or avoiding places that remind you of it. There are other symptoms, as well, so if you believe this may be something you have you may want to seek counseling. There are good treatments for PTSD. If you cannot seek counseling\u00a0at this time, there are some things you can do to try to manage the dreams on your own. I would encourage you to look up \"sleepy hygiene\" and try to make your bedtime rituals as relaxing as possible. You can also Google search \"Nightmare re-scripting\" or \"Nightmare Exposure\" and get some ideas on how you may be able to change your dreams. It may be a good idea to attend a domestic violence support group and get ideas from other survivors who no doubt have had sleep problems related to their experiences, too. Hope this was helpful. Be well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am a survivor of domestic violence from a past relationship. Even after seven years, I still have horrible nightmares. I wake up in sweat, and the dreams feel so real."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2303
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If the symptoms are to the extent that they are affecting your ability to function, you may want to consider seeking treatment. PTSD, anxiety, and depression all typically respond well to treatment if provided by a trained clinician. Common types of treatment for PTSD that you may want to look into include Cognitive Processing Therapy or EMDR. The nice things about Cognitive Processing Therapy is that it is time limited and only lasts 17 sessions typically.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel angry, anxious, and depressed. The PTSD I suffer is from a past relationship."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2304
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It can be tricky to figure out if a child is truly satisfied with his lack of friendships. Parents can usually tell when their child is happy. But kids who are unhappy may be masking disappointment, perhaps acting out their feelings in an aggressive manner. Others may internalize symptoms, appearing sad or withdrawn.\u00a0A parent may learn a great deal by asking the teachers questions such as whether the child works with others on group projects or if he eats lunch alone. A parent can also talk with the recess supervisor about what happens on the playground, and whether your child stays on the sidelines of play, unsure of how to join the group.\u00a0Therespectfully is a difference between kids who are shy but happy and kids who feel isolated because they do not know how to make friends. Itis not necessarily that there is something wrong with that child, but they will in fact need help and suggestions for breaking into a peer group\u00a0Ask a child if there is someone he would like to have over to play. If a mom or dad can make the play dates happen, or if they hit on an activity the child truly enjoys, the young person may begin to forge friendships on their own.\u00a0I encourage well-meaning parents to choose words carefully. Use phrases like, \"Hey, I noticed something,\" or \"Let me help you be successful.\" By showing respect, parents should feel more comfortable nudging their children beyond their comfort zone.When to seek professional help.\u00a0When does isolation raise a red flag for long-term issues? True personality disorders are not typically diagnosed until adulthood. Still, professional counseling should be considered if the anti-social behavior is causing the child significant distress, perhaps keeping him from functioning in everyday activities. Also, parents should pay attention to how the child's social behavior changes over time such as social anxiety.\u00a0The vast majority of children who define \"quality time\" as time alone are perfectly happy, healthy and normal. If the child is able to nurture at least one friendship, exhibiting what experts call \"social reciprocity,\" then parents can relax, and can cherish that child who enjoys the pleasure of his or her own company.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Is this something I should be worried about?  Should I do something about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2305
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First of all, I am very sorry for your loss, and I can understand the urge to drink and smoke to try and cope. As I'm sure you understand, alcohol and marijuana may take the edge off of the pain in the short run, but in the long run they may prevent you from being able to work through the thoughts and feelings that you have about the loss of your friend. Grieving is a process that is unique to each individual and each relationship that may involve difficult, confusing, and even contradictory seeming thoughts and feelings and a competent therapist can help you work through this process. It also may be useful for you to add other ways of coping, such as taking care of yourself through exercise, doing healthy activities that you love, and spending time with people that you love. Self care is often most difficult when we need it the most. Thank you for reaching out.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I recently lost a friend to suicide.  I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2306
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you are aware of your positive traits but you\u00a0are struggling with someone who does not acknowledge nor celebrate your efforts or achievements.\u00a0\u00a0 It seems like that is affecting your inner voice, which allows you to accept yourself for who you are.My suggestion is to explore that relationship\u00a0and decide if that person\u2019s opinion should determine how you feel about yourself. \u00a0\u00a0If this is an important relationship, you could communicate to this person how the lack of positive feedback is affecting you.\u00a0 Then, work on spending more time with those who value you, and can give you praise, encouragement, and constructive criticism.\u00a0 Also, explore your religious beliefs, and what is they say about who you are as a person.\u00a0 Finally, explore with a Counselor your inner voice and try to figure out if the negative message is settling in and harming your self-esteem.\u00a0\u00a0 Through therapy, you could learn to self-compassion and acceptance wich will help your self esteem.\u00bfC\u00f3mo manejo el sentirme que \u201cno soy suficiente bueno\u201d?Siempre me dicen que no soy suficientemente bueno o no trato lo suficiente.\u00a0 Yo pongo el 100% en todo.\u00a0 Estoy agotado, he trabajado en todas mis relaciones, estoy muy bien en la escuela, trato bien a las personas que lo necesitan.\u00a0 Me aferro a mis creencias religiosas y dejo espacio para los errores, y aprendo de otros para no tener que cometer los mismos.\u00a0 Aun as\u00ed no soy suficiente y nada de lo que hago funciona, me siento desesperanzado.\u00a0 \u00bfAlguna idea o sugerencia?Al parecer estas consiente de tus caracter\u00edsticas positivas, pero est\u00e1s teniendo \u00a0dificultad con alguien que no reconoce tus esfuerzos, ni logros, y eso est\u00e1 afectando esa voz interior que te permite aceptar quien eres.Mi sugerencia es que explores esa relaci\u00f3n y analices si la opini\u00f3n de esta persona va a determinar c\u00f3mo te valoras a ti mismo.\u00a0 Si es una relaci\u00f3n valiosa, puedes comunicarle a la persona en cuesti\u00f3n como te afecta la falta de comentarios y opiniones positivas. \u00a0\u00a0Luego enf\u00f3cate en pasar m\u00e1s tiempo con personas que te valoran, te dan halagos, te motivan y te aconsejan.\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n explora que dice tu religi\u00f3n sobre qui\u00e9n eres como persona y cu\u00e1l es tu valor.\u00a0 Y por \u00faltimo, explora con tu Consejero si ese mensaje negativo esta afectando tu autoestima.\u00a0 A trav\u00e9s de la terapia puedes aprender tecnicas auto compasi\u00f3n y aceptaci\u00f3n que ayudaran a fortalecerte.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I'm always told I'm not good enough or trying hard enough. I put 100% in to every thing. I'm worn out, I've worked on all of my family relationships, I'm doing great in school, I'm kind to those in need and otherwise. I stick to my religious beliefs and leave room for mistakes and learn from others so I don't have to make as many and the ones I do I learn from. \r\nSomehow it's still not good enough and nothing I do works. Nothing has changed, and I feel hopeless. Any suggestions or ideas?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2307
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm so sorry to hear about your recent loss. \u00a0There is such a large feeling of uncertainty that befalls those of us left to sort through these emotions of such a loss, and it's never easy. \u00a0I think it's important to remember that there is no \"right\" or \"wrong\" way to deal with loss and the \"best way\" for you may not be the best way for someone else. \u00a0The fact that you are aware that you are smoking more marijuana and drinking more, and the fact that you can recognize that these may not be the best coping techniques, is a very good step towards giving yourself some better support at this time. \u00a0Marijuana and drinking are type of coping techniques that can numb us to our emotions, but they do not really help us to work through those emotions.\u00a0When it comes to grief, often one of the most helpful ways to move through the phases of grief is to use your social supports; talk to your friends and family, see your mutual friends and commiserate with each other on the loss and the uncertainty. \u00a0The more we talk about our feelings, the more we are okay with them being ours. The more we express our loss, the better we become at accepting such a loss. In talking with your supports, you may also decide ways in which you may want to remember your friend; ways you can do so on a personal level (writing a poem, planting a tree, etc.) or ways you as a group can remember and memorialize them (a special day where you get together to share your memories, starting a charity, etc.)\u00a0We never truly \"get over\" our losses, but we can learnt o accept the losses and what it means to us now...but that also takes time.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I recently lost a friend to suicide.  I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2308
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Let me begin by offering my condolences for your loss. I can understand how difficult this time maybe for you especially if you have several unanswered the questions due to the circumstances surrounding the death of your friend. \u00a0It's during this time, that you may experience the various stages of grief. This includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.\u00a0In the bereavement process, there is so specific time frame or lengths of time for someone to work through each step. Its imperative to note \u00a0that one may\u00a0express each stage with different levels of intensity. Also, the five stages do not necessarily occur in any specific order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Just note that everyone greives differently, some internalize their feelings and emotions, others express it externally, while other avoid it all together.Coping with loss is ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience. Sometimes we feel that no one understands what we are feeling or going through, much less comprehend our emotional state of mind . What's important, is that you allow others to comfort you through the various stages. My recommendation is to allow yourself to go through the emotions and feel the grief. Avoiding or resisting may only delay the healing process. Reaching the acceptance stage of mourning is a gift not not everyone is awarded, but seeking the help of a Grief counselor may assist in deciphering your emotions and set you on a more positive path to achieve closer.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I recently lost a friend to suicide.  I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2309
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. Bipolar disorder is\u00a0generally\u00a0characterized by extreme changes in mood, ranging from mania (highs) to depression (lows). There are different types; however, so here is a\u00a0website that\u00a0gives you a list of symptoms for mania and depression in bipolar disorder: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/bipolar-disorder-manic-depression?page=2After reviewing these symptoms, if you believe you may have bipolar disorder, then you may want to see your primary care provider or\u00a0a counselor. Bipolar disorder is treatable, but for many people it requires the right medication and sometimes counseling to help people make behavior changes that are important for bipolar management. For example, some people may not get regular sleep, but proper rest is important for bipolar management. A counselor may talk to you about this and other lifestyle changes that you may need to make.\u00a0The good news is that many people live happy, healthy, and productive lives with bipolar disorder. So, if it turns out that you do have bipolar disorder, it doesn't mean that things can't get better. There is currently no \"cure\" for bipolar disorder, but with proper medication and lifestyle management, people can do quite well.Hope this was helpful. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "It's been like a couple of years that I've been feeling like this. I don't want to self-diagnose, but I get so sad and cry and then I feel better. But then I get upset with people so quickly, and I hurt their feelings. It's this constant rollercoaster, and it's hard."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2310
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Suicide is a very traumatic loss and affects survivors significantly. Everyone deals with their grief in different ways. One way I recommend to deal with the loss of a loved one is to write letters to them. Some people like to keep the letters in a jar, maybe fill the jar with sand so the letters are buried. I recommend writing the letters as often as you need to. You will notice over time the need to write the letters will decrease and the intense feelings of loss will decrease. I also recommend finding a survivors support group in your area. You can find more information on www.afsp.org.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I recently lost a friend to suicide.  I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2311
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I recommend asking your son about the reasons he chooses to play alone at recess. If he is happy on his own and you know he has some friends, I would not be very concerned. However, there may be bullying going on at school. In the case of bullying, it may be a situation where you as his parent will need to step in.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Is this something I should be worried about?  Should I do something about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2312
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. I am so glad that you reached out for help. I know that the dysphoria can feel nearly impossible to handle, especially since you have limited support from people who accept who you are. You may already know some of these resources, but I am going to share a few. 1. The website www.letsqueerthingsup.com is a blog from a very good writer that I know. His name is Sam Dylan Finch, and he is transgender. He writes about mental health, transgender issues, and many other topics. I know he has frequently written about gender dysphoria and ways to manage it. You may want to check out his site and do a search on there. 2. The website www.everydayfeminism.com employs many transgender writers and several have written about gender dysphoria and have given ideas for managing it. If you search for gender dysphoria on their site, many articles pop up. It may be a good resource for you, especially if you ever feel lonely and start to forget that there are others out there who are like you and have your back. 3. I am not sure where you live, but there are counselors who specialize in affirmative therapy, which is what is recommended for folks who are part of the LGBTQ community. So, if you decide to see a counselor about the dysphoria, try to find one that specifically says they have been trained in the affirmative approach. In addition, feel free to ask questions of the counselor before agreeing to see them for counseling. An ethical counselor would have no problem answering them before having you come in. 4. If there are some LGBTQ resource centers in your area, try to reach out to them and see if there are support groups. Gaining more support from others would be helpful. Sometimes LGBTQ-friendly counselors leave their contact information for people in resource centers. 5. Finally, I know you have not mentioned being depressed or suicidal, but I also know that it is very common for people to consider\u00a0suicide when they are struggling with dysphoria, dealing with transphobia, etc. If this ever happens to you, please call 911 or the Trans Lifeline. It's free\u00a0at\u00a0877-565-8860. Visit their site at www.translifeline.org. I hope some of these ideas help. Feel free to send another message if you have a follow-up question.Be well....be YOU.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm transgender, I know I am, but I've only told a few friends. I know I can't tell my family because of previous conversations we've had. They just wouldn't accept it.\r\nMy gender dysphoria is getting really difficult to deal with on my own. I need some strategies for dealing with it. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2313
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi. It can be difficult to handle such a transition on your own. I work with clients to understand their needs and wants. This can involve how to communicate effectively with friends, family, and other loved ones; or, learning how to have self-acceptance. I strongly recommend speaking with a licensed clinician one on one to help facilitate the change you are looking for.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm transgender, I know I am, but I've only told a few friends. I know I can't tell my family because of previous conversations we've had. They just wouldn't accept it.\r\nMy gender dysphoria is getting really difficult to deal with on my own. I need some strategies for dealing with it. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2314
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "you can learn lots of skills/techniques to feel more confident in what you need to do that will decrease your anxious response for sure! :) And\u00a0 you can also learn how to work with your personality that may not like the attention. You may find that \"talking\" to others through the internet is more comfortable and you are great at it, or that you love one on one talking but aren't really made for group talking. There is a place in this world for you either way! Public speaking skills can be practiced in speech class, or toastmaster group, they will give you practice in a safe environment where the cool kids or cutest boy aren't ready to laugh at you.\u00a0 What topics are you interested in and what groups can you do a little speaking up? Maybe in your small group at church try and raise you hand to share your opinion, or maybe your Girl Scout troop? Look around for a peer and one adult who you like to hear speak out, ask them to share with you 2 things that help them feel comfortable speaking in public. Check out some Ted Talks and see how they share in groups. Social anxiety is a difficult concern and picking apart what is your awesome personality and what needs skill building and mindfulness/anxiety\u00a0 help are important steps. Good luck!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel really uncomfortable when I have people's attention.  It makes me not want to talk in public or answer questions in class. Can I get over this social anxiety?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2315
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Suicide is not a natural way to pass from this Earth, so many times it can be EXTREMELY tough to deal with because of the \"unnatural-ness\" of the event. We may find ourselves feeling guilty that we did not see it or that we could've have done more or something to stop it, but often the fish in the fishbowl cannot see that which is closest to him. You are currently trying to numb your feelings, those feelings as nasty as they are, are meant to be felt, those feelings help us to process the event and also help us to pass through the situation. Your friend has a legacy, remember it, and honor that legacy everyday in some small or even grand way, perhaps committing or volunteering your time to help others in honor of your friend.Hope this helps, C", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I recently lost a friend to suicide.  I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2316
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is so very common in this crazy looks-obsessed world! I meet so many beautiful people who can't see their beauty. Is there something getting in the way for you? Was there a time in your life when people teased you or told you something hurtful, or did something to you that made you feel ugly? If so, this can be addressed first. Sometimes stories are told about us when we're young and the best thing we can do is see the author's evil or careless intent and not take that on. A therapist can help you with this part.Once you've addressed any past barriers to feeling confident, you can focus on a few simple things. First, your thoughts. If you keep telling yourself that you don't like what you see, then you will never feel okay about your looks. Experiment with telling yourself something different. Look in the mirror and I dare you to find something that's lovely about your face. Focus on that. Describe what you see? If you were your own best friend, what would you say about your face? Eliminating those negative scripts and building new positive ones will help you feel more accepting of how you look. You can't change your face, but you can change your attitude towards your face. Confidence is the things that will make you beautiful!Accepting how you look is important. Without going to plastic surgery (the popularity of which is a testimony to how nuts this whole thing has become), you were born with that nose, those eyes, those lips. Accepting yourself and knowing it won't change is a good idea, because wishing it were different won't make it so!Looking good is also about minimizing flaws and building on your assets. Are you in a rut about hairstyle or makeup? Ask a good friend to give you a make-over. Play with your features and wardrobe. There are plenty of average looking people who know how to make themselves shine because they are creative!\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I hate everything I see in the mirror. I don't like being in pictures and always scribble out my face.  It's stressing me out. I don't trust my parents enough to tell them and I don't know what to do."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2317
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I urge you to seek some therapeutic help for this, and also to connect with others who knew your friend, because they're likely feeling the same way. Suicide is difficult to understand, and those left behind have many mixed emotions that make their grief complicated and anguished. Your friend either had an impulse that no one could stop, or they made a big decision that impacted everyone around them. There are other things you can do to cope with this, and it has to do with accepting your powerlessness to stop it, not blaming yourself, forgiving your friend, and finding meaning in their life and yours. You won't find that meaning in a bottle or a joint. I hope you reach out soon. :)", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I recently lost a friend to suicide.  I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2318
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "My first reaction to this is that It sounds like you rely alot on the impressions and projections of the outside world, that you need validation from other people to compensate for a lack of something on the inside, build yourself up on the inside, work on yourself, use positive affirmations daily, it would be wise for you to research some self-construct theory and do some self-concept work.Hope this helps,C", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I always feel the need to impress people, whether it's my family, the people at school, or just random people. I know that no matter what I do or how I change, there will always be some people who hate me.  Why do I feel this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2319
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "My son plays alone at recess.Is this something I should be worried about? Should I do something about it?Every mom is the expert on their children\u2019s behavior.\u00a0 First of all, I suggest checking with your son, asking him if he is happy while playing alone, or does he complain that no one wants to play with him?\u00a0 Does he plays alone in school, but is social in other environments, with family or neighbors?Playing alone is healthy for children, it helps them to be independent and confident, it allows them to explore their environment and use their imagination, among other benefits. \u00a0On the other hand, it is also important to develop social skills early on and become confident in our skills as we grow.\u00a0 Children go through stages of exploration until they develop a sense of \u201csocial confidence\u201d. Depending on your son\u2019s age, he might need some input or advice.\u00a0 Provide the opportunity to interact with other children, without pushing it.\u00a0 Take him to the park to play with a friend or to children\u2019s activities in your neighborhood. \u00a0Later ask him, what did he thought\u00a0of the activity, and if he enjoyed playing there.\u00a0 Children also follow their parent\u2019s model, so you can encourage social interaction by greeting other and asking your son to do the same, ask him to receive the guests who come to the house with you and sit to enjoy the conversation.\u00a0If you notice any shakiness, becoming tearful, anxious or aggressive when approaching social encounters, you may want to talk to the school counselor or children\u2019s therapist to evaluate those symptoms and rule out any behavioral problems or social anxiety.Mi hijo juega solo en el receso.\u00bfDeber\u00eda preocuparme al respecto?\u00a0 \u00bfDeber\u00eda hacer algo al respecto?Cada mama es experta en la conducta de sus hijos. \u00a0Primero que nada te sugiero que revises con tu hijo y le preguntes si \u00e9l se siente contento jugando solo, o si se queja porque nadie quiere jugar con \u00e9l.\u00a0\u00a0 Observa si \u00e9l juega solo en la escuela, pero es sociable en otros ambientes como con la familia\u00a0 o los vecinos.\u00a0Jugar solo puede ser saludable para los ni\u00f1os, les ayudo a ser independientes, desarrollan sentido de seguridad, y les permite explorar su ambiente y utilizar su imaginaci\u00f3n, entre otros beneficios.Por otro lado, tambi\u00e9n es importante desarrollar destrezas sociales y perfeccionarlas con la pr\u00e1ctica.\u00a0\u00a0 Los ni\u00f1os van por etapas de exploraci\u00f3n y prueba hasta que desarrollan un nivel de confianza en sus destrezas sociales.\u00a0 Dependiendo de la edad de tu hijo, puede que el necesite algunos consejos.\u00a0 Prov\u00e9ele la oportunidad de interactuar con otros ni\u00f1os, sin obligarlo. Ya sea yendo al parque a jugar con vecinos, o a actividades comunitarias infantiles con alg\u00fan amigo.\u00a0 Luego preg\u00fantale como le pareci\u00f3 la actividad y si le gusto compartir all\u00ed. \u00a0Tambi\u00e9n recuerda que los ni\u00f1os siguen el modelo de sus padres, as\u00ed que puedes motivarlo invit\u00e1ndolo a que salude a otros despu\u00e9s de ti, o invit\u00e1ndolo a recibir a la visita que llega a la casa y que los acompa\u00f1e durante la conversaci\u00f3n.Si observas que tu hijo est\u00e1 nervioso, lloroso, o agresivo cuando se acerca alguna actividad social, consulta con el consejero escolar o un consejero infantil para evaluar sus s\u00edntomas y descarta cualquier problema de conducta o ansiedad.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Is this something I should be worried about?  Should I do something about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2320
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I agree with Cory. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) does seem to help a lot of people who struggle with anxiety. It's not the only type of therapy that can help, but it seems to help people in a way that is more natural and realistic. As Cory mentioned, anxiety is something that is part of life, so therapies that indicate we can get rid of it are questionable. Our natural inclination when we have anxiety is to STOP any and all things that may cause it or provoke it. We do this because we think it will help, but it actually doesn't. Anxiety usually has us rehashing the past or rehearsing the future\u00a0while ignoring the present. ACT helps folks who have those kinds of tendencies. Be well..Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I started having anxiety three months ago. I'm new to having anxiety, and it's making me depressed."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2321
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The answer depends on how the other areas of your son's life are doing.Is he happy or does he seem happy, playing alone during recess?Does he have friends in other social circles besides the students whom he's with at recess?How is his academic progress?How is his social integration among his classmates?Are there any special or unusual circumstances in the home and family environment?Go through this list to form a fuller idea of whether your son simply likes alone time and takes this option during recess, or if any if the above areas show stress or difficulty for him and which need to be further understood and handled.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Is this something I should be worried about?  Should I do something about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2322
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Humans are social creatures so this can be an alarming thing for a parent to deal with, just like adults children are not the same and some children are more social than others, if he plays alone at recess (all the time) it would worry myself as well, however recess is only one domain of life, does he have friends outside of school or daycare? Does he socialize in other situations or is it just at recess where this occurs? If this is a global problem occurring at other social times it may be indicative of something deeper going on, if perhaps it is occurring \"just during recess\" it could be something else altogether. I would request reports from all teachers and caregivers concerning socialization and make a choice on whether or not to evaluate further.Hope this helps,C", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Is this something I should be worried about?  Should I do something about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2323
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Since anxiety usually about anticipating a bad result, or fear of being judged negatively, as though having failed some sort of test, consider what would give you the feeling of anticipating a good result from talking to an audience?Maybe, for example, if you prepared and rehearsed your talk more than what you typically would, you'd feel more secure in speaking \u00a0in front of an audience.Once you sort through your particular reason as to the source of your discomfort, it may feel more manageable.Yes, social anxiety can change. \u00a0You may naturally prefer smaller groups than an audience.And, it is possible to decrease anxiety in what may always be somewhat uncomfortable for you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel really uncomfortable when I have people's attention.  It makes me not want to talk in public or answer questions in class. Can I get over this social anxiety?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2324
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There is a difference in someone agreeing to try something and agreeing to continue to do it. Have you ever been willing to try something and then decided you did not like it? A type of food? A sport? A new restaurant? A type of dance? So this does not mean that things have changed between you. It does mean that the two of you may need to spend some time to find out what you both like.\u00a0Instead of looking at it as a rejection, look at it as a challenge, an adventure that the two of you can go on as explorers together. Some couples have even found it helpful to each write down ten things they would like the other person to try and then each person can pick three things from the other person's list to add into their life together when they chose to over the next few weeks.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have a lot on my mind, but all I want to do is stay locked in my room and not socialize with anyone. Why do I feel so alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2325
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Best answer that I can give to you is that some level of de-personalization is quite normal for everyone, it will come and go throughout life, kind of like being on a roller-coaster, \"here it is, then it's gone not to return for quite some time\", like many things, the more that you fixate on it, the more stress it will cause you, consider it part of life, accept it, and move on, now if your having many, many ,many of these episodes or have some auditory or visual hallucination or disturbances or emotional unbalancing that accompany it than that is definitely something to look at, but for the most part nothing to worry about. Hope this helps,C", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've felt this way for  two years. I feel so much better now then I did when it started, but it is still there in the back of my mind at all times."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2326
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It has been said that depression is often the result of a blocked goal. \u00a0Often people struggle with both anxiety and depression but have difficulty determining which is the most important issue. For some, depression is the result of frequently blocked goals and when their predominant issues are evaluated, they discover that they are anxious (worried) about a lot of areas in their life but seem to find no relief. \u00a0When there is no relief and there have been numerous attempts (either in their mind or in practical application) to resolve the anxiety, depression is often the result. \u00a0In this type of case, depression is not the main or underlying issue. The anxiety is the underlying issue. \u00a0Having \"a lot on my mind\" sounds like anxiety. Unresolved anxiety can lead to feelings of depression which are often associated with \"emptiness.\" \u00a0In the question above, I would want to evaluate all of the issues surrounding having \"a lot on my mind\" and determine where these might be coming from. Has there been ongoing rejection from peers? From family? If so, why does this seem to be happening? \u00a0Isolation is often a protective measure that one implements to avoid further pain. Where does that need to protect originate? \u00a0Are there unmet needs from childhood? Are there traumatic life events that have created a need to self-protect as a defense mechanism?\u00a0We can feel \"alone\" even when in a crow of people or at a party. \u00a0This has nothing, in this case, to do with being around people. It has more to do with how we view ourselves. \u00a0If there is a prevailing message or script that has been internalized that says, \"You are worth nothing\" or \"You don't deserve the company of others\" then being around people will not alleviate the problem but only exacerbate it. I would want to evaluate how one feels about themselves and what negative messages one has received and has repeated to oneself over time.\u00a0The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy is a therapy aimed at addressing unmet childhood needs. If there is specific trauma that is associated with socializing with people, then EMDR can be very helpful in desensitizing and reprocessing the trauma. \u00a0Looking at whether this individual's issue with emptiness is straight depression or whether it is depression as a result of unresolved anxiety is key to determining a treatment strategy.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have a lot on my mind, but all I want to do is stay locked in my room and not socialize with anyone. Why do I feel so alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2327
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. It certainly sounds like you don't like how things are going. Here are a few thoughts and ideas:1. If you haven't seen a primary care provider in a while, you may want to. There are health conditions that can affect your mood and energy levels, even at your age. It doesn't hurt to get checked out. If they find the cause, they may be able to treat it and improve the symptoms. In addition, most primary care providers are trained to be able to manage medication for patients who have mild, moderate, and sometimes severe depression. So, don't be surprised if your primary care doctor offers to put you on an anti-depressant if they diagnose you with depression. Medication is not the only way to treat depression, but sometimes it is necessary depending on different factors.2. You may want to consider counseling, since it is another effective way to treat depression. A counselor will help you explore the factors that may be leading to depressive symptoms in the first place. This could include thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, life experiences, and other things. 3. Finally, to answer your question about whether these feelings are \"normal.\" These symptoms could be the sign of an underlying general health or mental health condition. It is important to remember that even if these symptoms are \"abnormal\" it doesn't mean that YOU are. Millions of people struggle with depression. So remember, the symptoms are the problem, not YOU. Hope this helps. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have no friends, no hobbies, and no interest in anything. I get annoyed with everything and everyone. I am always tired, i can sleep 8 hrs or 12 hrs and im still tired.  I don't know what to do. Is this normal?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2328
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi, and thanks for your question. I agree with my colleagues about researching asexuality, but I want too add a couple of things about that:Here is a website that you can start with to get some information about asexuality - http://www.asexuality.org/home/There are a whole lot of myths surrounding asexuality. One is that people who are asexual have absolutely no interest in sex, and that is not always the case. There are variations of asexuality. Some people who are asexual have an interest in sex and others don't. Also, once you read more on this topic, you may find that you don't connect with asexuality either, and that is okay. Our society usually thinks of sexual orientations\u00a0as\u00a0only being straight,\u00a0gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but the truth is there are many variations of sexual orientations. Keep exploring. There is a good chance that there is a community of people who feel like you do. Finally, labels are important for a lot of things, but labeling ourselves can sometimes lead to some painful feelings. Try not to feel pressured to label yourself too quickly. This is your journey. Your experience. Take all the time you need.\u00a0You may never feel the need to label\u00a0how you feel, and that is okay, too. Hope this helps. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a guy. If I don't like girls, nor do I like guys, does that mean I'm gay?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2329
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. Boy, ending relationships\u00a0is tough, isn't it? Sometimes it's tough even when we are 100% sure that it is the right thing to do!I am going to give you some of my thoughts, and hopefully some colleagues will add some others. One of the things that I want to point out is that \"letting go\" is not really a thing. In other words, it's not really something you can reach out and grab. It's more of a process. This is good news, because you don't necessarily have to be at\u00a0the end of the process to end an unhealthy relationship. We just have to accept that there will be feelings that come up even after the relationship is over. For example, someone can end an unhealthy relationship today, but then be reminded of the good times on what would\u00a0have been their \"anniversary.\" This could make the person very sad. They may even regret ending the relationship for a little while. It would important, then, for the person to remind themselves why the relationship needed to end, and that they are healthier because of it. This is relevant for you. It's hard to walk away from a relationship. We fear all kinds of things, including being single! Sometimes it's helpful to compare what you are getting out of the relationship to what you want from a relationship. It's helpful to be honest about what we have given up for an unhealthy relationship. It's fine to admit uncertainly about ending things. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to have moments of doubt and sadness along with a dash of guilt. And even with all of that,\u00a0someone\u00a0can still leave if it is the healthiest thing for them. They can have sadness later on, and still not go back.It sounds like you are feeling responsible for making sure he is okay because of this divorce. The truth is that there is not necessarily a \"perfect\" time to end any relationship. There would be no guarantee that he would be doing any better after the divorce. Sometimes\u00a0NOT making\u00a0decisions stresses us out A LOT more than making a decision and living with the consequences, both good and bad. You may be at that crossroads. Be well..Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Ive been in an on an off relationship with a this man for almost 3 years. Even though I care about him, he continues to hurt me. \r\n\r\nHe and his wife were separated when we met. Now he's going through a really difficult divorce from her and is taking it really hard.  I want to end this relationship, but I don't feel like I can. How can I let go?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2330
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. I am very sorry that this was your experience with your family. I truly wish I\u00a0could give you some things to say to them that would change their reaction, but unfortunately I can't do that. Their acceptance of you\u00a0is a journey, just like coming out is a journey for you. Sometimes families initially respond this way, but after time they become more accepting and even supportive. Unfortunately, there is no way to know for sure if that will happen. So, here are a few things I would suggest:Surround yourself with people and things that remind you that you really are okay as you are. That won't take the place of your family's acceptance, and I won't even pretend that it would, but it may help during those days when it hurts the most. And that is really important. Patience is not something that many of us are really good at, but this type of situation sometimes forces you to have some. When families first learn something like this, they may go through a period of shock. And then sometimes even grieving. They may even be worried if they are of a particular religion where being bisexual is forbidden. These things can take time for them to reconcile, so it may just take some patience. If it is safe for you, try to talk to them, but if it becomes painful or hurtful then you have the right to walk away. I do recommend setting up\u00a0some personal boundaries for yourself, and perhaps learn some assertiveness skills if you feel you struggle with them. The reason I feel that this is important is that people sometimes take a lot of abuse from family members and friends in times like you're describing. They may want to be accepted so much that they put themselves in hurtful positions over and over again hoping that their families will come around. They may, or they may not. And if they don't, you deserve to live a life free of abuse and to feel confident and assured of who you are. To be surrounded by folks who remind you of that.\u00a0If you start\u00a0seeing this pattern and you are struggling, chatting with\u00a0counselor may be a great idea. I am bias probably, but I think chatting with a counselor is ALWAYS a good idea. :)\u00a0Hope this helps. Be well. Be you. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "After I told them, they yelled at me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2331
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First decide what you truly would like in the current relationship. Understand your reasons for staying in the relationship.Three years is a substantial amount of time to be involved with someone. \u00a0 Whatever attachment you feel toward this man is deep and complex.Instead of deciding to leave or not leave, change your question to figuring out your satisfactions and dissatisfaction with the man.\u00a0Also important is to tell the man your feelings.Whatever problem you are feeling may become clarified by discussing what bothers you.At the very least, you will give the guy a chance to show how interested he actually is in the tension you currently feel and have felt for a while.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Ive been in an on an off relationship with a this man for almost 3 years. Even though I care about him, he continues to hurt me. \r\n\r\nHe and his wife were separated when we met. Now he's going through a really difficult divorce from her and is taking it really hard.  I want to end this relationship, but I don't feel like I can. How can I let go?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2332
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like your in quite a rough place, my recommendation just based on what you type might warrant a visit to a psychotherapist to resolve what may be going on, I am not entirely sure but it sounds like he might have a bit of a sex addiction problem. One thing you need to ask yourself is \"Am I happy?\", \"Do I feel loved?\", these are deep questions, but the answers to those questions will give you a direction to travel in. ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I believe my partner has a masturbation and porn problem. He masturbates daily, even when I am lying in bed sleeping beside him. We have sex once a week. He is rough and worries about his needs. He never touches me, and treats me like a porn star, wanting to finish on my face or chest."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2333
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "One of the first steps is to manage anxiety and depression symptoms are to establish a good\u00a0self-care\u00a0routine.\u00a0 Start with the most basic things: Eating balanced meals, sleeping at from 6-8 hours and exercise at least 30 minutes a day.\u00a0 These will help you to regulate the chemical imbalance that\u00a0affects\u00a0your mood, plus exercising gives you time to vent and be distracted from your thoughts.\u00a0 Once basic\u00a0self-care\u00a0is established, I suggest that is a good time to start exploring the source of these feelings, and address them trough therapy.\u00a0 If you have difficulty initiating\u00a0self-care\u00a0routine talk to your therapist about what motivates you and pushes you to do things, you might find the key during the process. \u00a0You could also contact your physician or a psychiatrist to discuss medication\u00a0options\u00a0if it\u2019s too challenging to begin basic\u00a0self-care.\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo manejar mi ansiedad y depresi\u00f3n para sentirme normal otra vez?Mi motivaci\u00f3n se ha ido. Es dif\u00edcil salir de la cama.\u00a0 No s\u00e9 qu\u00e9 hacer.\u00a0 Soy Miserable.\u00a0 Mi ansiedad y depresi\u00f3n han tomado el control de mi vida.Uno de los primeros pasos para manejar la ansiedad y la depresi\u00f3n es establecer una buena rutina de cuidado personal.\u00a0 Comienza con las cosas m\u00e1s b\u00e1sicas: Comer comidas balanceadas, dormir de 6-8 horas en la noche, y ejercitarte por lo menos 30 minutos al d\u00eda. Esto te ayudara a regular el desbalance qu\u00edmico que afecta tu estado de \u00e1nimo, adem\u00e1s de que te da tiempo para desahogarte y distraerte.\u00a0 Ya que la rutina de cuidado eta establecida, es un buen momento para comenzar a explorar la fuente de tus sentimientos negativos, y expl\u00f3ralos a trav\u00e9s de terapia. Si se dificulta comenzar a crear una rutina puedes consultar con tu terapista para identificar motivaciones que te impulsen a comenzar.\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n puedes contactar a tu medico primario o psiquiatra para discutir medicamentos que te pueden ayudar a manejar estos s\u00edntomas e iniciar cuidado b\u00e1sico.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My motivation has gone away. It's hard to get out of bed. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm miserable. My anxiety and depression have taken over my life."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2334
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "One of the first steps is to manage anxiety and depression symptoms are to establish a good\u00a0self-care\u00a0routine.\u00a0 Start with the most basic things: Eating balanced meals, sleeping at from 6-8 hours and exercise at least 30 minutes a day.\u00a0 These will help you to regulate the chemical imbalance that\u00a0affects\u00a0your mood, plus exercising gives you time to vent and be distracted from your thoughts.\u00a0 Once basic\u00a0self-care\u00a0is established, I suggest that is a good time to start exploring the source of these feelings, and address them trough therapy.\u00a0 If you have difficulty initiating\u00a0self-care\u00a0routine talk to your therapist about what motivates you and pushes you to do things, you might find the key during the process. \u00a0You could also contact your physician or a psychiatrist to discuss medication\u00a0options\u00a0if it\u2019s too challenging to begin basic\u00a0self-care.\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo controlar mi ansiedad?Uno de los primeros pasos para manejar la ansiedad y la depresi\u00f3n es establecer una buena rutina de cuidado personal.\u00a0 Comienza con las cosas m\u00e1s b\u00e1sicas: Comer comidas balanceadas, dormir de 6-8 horas en la noche, y ejercitarte por lo menos 30 minutos al d\u00eda. Esto te ayudara a regular el desbalance qu\u00edmico que afecta tu estado de \u00e1nimo, adem\u00e1s de que te da tiempo para desahogarte y distraerte.\u00a0 Ya que la rutina de cuidado eta establecida, es un buen momento para comenzar a explorar la fuente de tus sentimientos negativos, y expl\u00f3ralos a trav\u00e9s de terapia. Si se dificulta comenzar a crear una rutina puedes consultar con tu terapista para identificar motivaciones que te impulsen a comenzar.\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n puedes contactar a tu medico primario o psiquiatra para discutir medicamentos que te pueden ayudar a manejar estos s\u00edntomas e iniciar cuidado b\u00e1sico.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I started having anxiety three months ago. I'm new to having anxiety, and it's making me depressed."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2335
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Anxiety and Depression are challenging experiences to live with and to manage on a daily basis. I would say that both are challenges to overcome but solutions to living healthy and well exist. Step 1: Talk about it. With friends, family, partners, counselors, and other trusted people in your life. Step 2: Create a plan with a counselor to learn new skills that help you recognize and manage your symptoms. Step 3: Don't give up. Working on yourself can be difficult and hard at the beginning. Stick with it and you will be able to find exercises, tools, and resources that help you live well. ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My motivation has gone away. It's hard to get out of bed. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm miserable. My anxiety and depression have taken over my life."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2336
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I get it. Your husband tells you that he's not in love with you, but oops, he's changed his mind and will tolerate you for a while longer? Excuse me? My Dear, it's okay if you expect more than that from a marriage. Maybe the question has shifted from whether he is happy in the marriage to whether you are happy in the marriage. You say you love this man, \u00a0who makes you \"feel like nothing\". I say it might be time to sit down with an individual therapist and look objectively at your marriage and whether it's working for you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I are in our 40s. We\u2019ve been married 17 years. Three weeks ago, he said he loves me but is not in love with me. He was going to leave me, but he said he thought about it and decided to stay. I don't know how to feel any more. How should I take what he said and not feel so hurt? He has been very blunt, and hurtful words just come out of his mouth. He makes me feel like I'm nothing, but I so dearly love him with everything in me. He said it wasn\u2019t a mid-life crisis."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2337
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Not in my book. You're only two months in? At this early stage, this is a bit of a warning sign. If he can't accept or feel comfortable with who you are and decisions you've made, there's already a level of discomfort here that shouldn't be ignored. No, he doesn't have the right to penalize you or punish you ...not just for past things...not for anything. What he does get to do it tell you how it affects him. Sure...if he feels uncomfortable or needs reassurance...listen to those things. But If he doesn't dig who you are, maybe he can walk the other way.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We've been dating for two months now. I have a heavy past that gets him angry. Does he have a right to penalize me for things I did before I met him?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2338
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There is a lot of information out there right now about how porn is harmful...to a person's brain chemistry, to a relationship and one's ability to love, and to how men see women and sex in general. Your partner demonstrates a clear disregard for your needs. There is evidence, as you suggest, that there is addiction here. I recommend seeing a therapist who can help you sort out where to go from here.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I believe my partner has a masturbation and porn problem. He masturbates daily, even when I am lying in bed sleeping beside him. We have sex once a week. He is rough and worries about his needs. He never touches me, and treats me like a porn star, wanting to finish on my face or chest."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2339
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Watching children go through challenges in their lives is difficult. On a very basic level, There exists a primal need to protect them from harm. The hard part for parents is letting them feel those challenges and working through them as they get older. At some point, there is a moment that occurs when the role as a parent shifts. Children no longer need the basics (food, shelter. water, safety) as much as when they were toddlers, but rather, their needs shift to wanting more support, encouragement, advice, and room to make mistakes. This is where the ability to communicate with them, letting them direct the sails to gather the wind needed to move, is so important. Keep the lines of communication open and be available to give feedback when they ask for it. ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2340
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Depending on your relationship with your parents, inviting them to have a conversation might be a good first step. \u00a0If they consent then you can have the opportunity to discuss your concerns with them. \u00a0Inviting someone to a conversation and getting their agreement is a great first step. I would then make sure your location of the discussion is conducive to the conversation and once all that is considered it might be beneficial that you make a list of your concerns prior to the meeting. \u00a0this can help keep you on point.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am not sure if I am depressed. I don't know how to bring it up to my parents, and that makes me miserable."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2341
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's not uncommon for relationships to go cold over time. It is a matter of one or the other becoming complacent. If you and your husband have been together for quite some time it's likely that you are very comfortable and familiar with each other. While this is a good thing in some ways, it can also become boring and you run the risk of losing that \"in love\" feeling he is referring to. Couples simply become ambivalent. For some of the couples I work with in my practice, I find that helping to organize a time apart, which I call a \"Therapeutic Separation\" can do wonders for the relationship. I offer homework to be done during this time. Reading, worksheets and individual counseling helps people learn more about themselves and what they desire out of their relationship. It often times brings more appreciation for their partners. When the pair comes back together, we are able to push the reset button and begin a new chapter that is more fulfilling and exciting than before. ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I are separated. He says he needs some time apart. He says he needs to get back the \u201cin love\u201d part of a relationship but doesn\u2019t want to lose me. Should I wait or start over new?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2342
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I agree with your observation about your daughter feeling stressed. \u00a0Are you able to open this topic in conversation with her?Also, reflect on your own expectations as a parent. \u00a0It is possible that your daughter is trying to please you by getting consistently high grades.If your daughter prefers talking in confidence to a therapist, then this may help her regain a sense of balance in her life so that schoolwork feels less stressful.I wouldn't take her to a doctor because based on what you write, the problem is psychological and emotionally based. \u00a0While the stress may have physical symptoms, addressing the root cause of the problem has nothing to do directly with something being physically wrong with your daughter.Unless there is some other medical or physical problem that would explain your daughter's sense of stress, \u00a0I'd start first by bringing your areas of concern to your daughter, then possibly to a therapist.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2343
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I am so sorry you are struggling! \u00a0I do think it's a good idea to share your feelings with your parents and perhaps get some help connecting with a counselor or therapist if you feel that might help. \u00a0There are lots of ways to tell them, depending on your relationship. \u00a0Maybe saying \"I wanted to tell you guys something.. sometimes I worry that I might be depressed.\" Or, some folks will write a letter, or even send a text. \u00a0The most important thing is that you tell someone you trust so you don't feel so miserable. I hope this helps. \u00a0Best of luck. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am not sure if I am depressed. I don't know how to bring it up to my parents, and that makes me miserable."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2344
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi! I am so glad you're reaching out! \u00a0Sounds like you have some solid support in some areas of your life but are still dealing with some difficult dysphoria. \u00a0I think it can depend on what kind of dysphoria you have - sometimes it's physical, social or mental. \u00a0Sometimes physical dysphoria means less time around mirrors or plans to make showering less stressful (music, audio books, distraction). \u00a0Sometimes online support networks can be a great source of ideas in this way (for social and mental dysphoria as well). \u00a0Some of my clients do things that help them feel better in their bodies that don't require anyone to know (hair removal, binders, packing, hormones,) and other things. \u00a0I recommend stopping by a website called Conversations with a Gender Therapist. There are some awesome videos there that might help you! \u00a0I hope this helps some! \u00a0Don't forget to try to connect with other trans folks (even online) - it can be a great relief to know you're not alone in how you're feeling! Best of luck!!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm transgender, I know I am, but I've only told a few friends. I know I can't tell my family because of previous conversations we've had. They just wouldn't accept it.\r\nMy gender dysphoria is getting really difficult to deal with on my own. I need some strategies for dealing with it. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2345
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you are no longer committed to track emotionally. \u00a0It can be hard to talk to your dad about this, but he may think you love track and may not know you are getting so upset the days of meets. \u00a0An idea would be to first write a letter to your dad to see what feelings come out and then preparing to speak with him. \u00a0I think he will appreciate your honesty and maybe this conversation will bring you relief and also time to find something you really will enjoy. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am on the track and softball team. My school is small, so I play all four sports it offers. I feel obligated to do track because I'm not a horrible runner, and my dad wants me to. The catch is is that the days before a track meet and the morning of, I get sick and cry."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2346
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Use this time to explore who you are...imagine what your life would be like if you were gay and not, ask yourself what is different? What scenario do you find yourself gravitating to? \u00a0What is important is that you are happy. My message to you is that you do not need to define yourself with your sexual preference or feel the need to label yourself, especially if you are confused and exploring what your sexual preference is. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "In middle school and high school, my friends and family thought I was gay. I tried telling them, but they wouldn\u2019t believe me. It almost feels like they wanted me to be. Now I\u2019m actually starting to believe them. I know I wasn\u2019t back then, and now I\u2019m not sure anymore."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2347
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is a difficult situation to be in, as it sounds like you are feeling very isolated from both your family and your friends.\u00a0\u00a0 I don't know your age or gender so please excuse any incorrect assumptions about you being under 18 and use what is useful from the ideas if you are older.\u00a0 One idea is to research online to find a therapist or a local clinic that has a therapist who is a \"Gender Therapist\" or a \"Gender Specialist.\"\u00a0 Most therapists who are transgender affirmative also have other specialties and do general therapy.\u00a0 Though I don't think lying to your parents is a good idea, if you feel you truly can't talk to them about your gender, then perhaps you can find a therapist with a specialization in gender identity who can help you cope with your gender dysphoria.\u00a0 You can let your parents know that you would like to see that particular therapist for other reasons, such as anxiety/worry, and that you researched them and liked their website.\u00a0 Work to find a therapist who takes your parents insurance if you can.\u00a0 You can also talk to the therapist on the phone first, before you talk to your parents about scheduling the first therapy visit. Therapists can help you learn some ways to manage feelings of worry, shame, and fear related to gender dysphoria. Depending on your family situation, many therapists will work to help you learn skills to safely communicate with your parents about what is troubling you.\u00a0 Your parents may actually surprise you and be more accepting than you think.\u00a0 Usually when parents learn that you are suffering, they want to be open to learning how they can help you, even if awkwardly at first.Reframing is a tool that helps you think about your situation from other perspectives.\u00a0 It's kind of how you can look at the same picture with a different picture frame and it makes the same picture look a little different. \u00a0 Keep in mind your situation is probably temporary and think about in the context of your whole long life (can you tolerate another 2 to 4 years living like you are if you have another X number of years to live?).\u00a0 If you are living at home, you will eventually be more independent and be able to make more of your decisions about your gender expression. Keep the idea in mind the concept that is popular in mindfulness classes I teach, that \"This too shall pass\" or \"This is only for now\" when you start to feel hopeless. If you start to over focus on your gender or body issues, try to distract yourself with things that make you feel happy (your pet, music, art, sports etc) or stay busy.\u00a0 If you can, find any GSA or LGBTIQQ youth group that you can attend confidentially, further away from home, to get some support.\u00a0 Work to find an ally, one person, that you can talk to about what you are feeling. Making new friends online through social media can sometimes be a start in breaking down the isolation you feel. Another idea, if you are under 24 years old, there is a phone line (866-488-7386)\u00a0 to call in case you are ever feeling you are in crisis.\u00a0 You can also text chat! Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/There is also a trans teen online chat group if you are 12-19 http://www.glbthotline.org/transteens.htmlIf you are an adult you can get numbers to call in your state if you start to feel suicidal:http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/Day to day, can you creatively work on your gender dysphoria?\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 Are there ways you can focus on parts of your body you love?\u00a0 Can you focus on that when you look in the mirror?\u00a0 Are you a writer?\u00a0 Can you write stories or poetry about the life you imagine for yourself in the future?\u00a0 Can you do small things that help you get more in touch with your gender day to day like making small choices about your clothing, like wearing clothes that are more unisex,\u00a0 that only you know are gender related but others won't notice?\u00a0 You cannot force others to accept you but you can work on your self-acceptance and self-compassion. That work is something that is best done in the company of others like you as well as with at least another person who gets you and whom you can trust.\u00a0 Good luck to you!\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm transgender, I know I am, but I've only told a few friends. I know I can't tell my family because of previous conversations we've had. They just wouldn't accept it.\r\nMy gender dysphoria is getting really difficult to deal with on my own. I need some strategies for dealing with it. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2348
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You are not alone, many people fear opening up to family members about the topic of depression or mental illness. There are many different reason why some may fear telling their parents. The most common thoughts I hear in my office are: \" My parents won't understand me\", I may cause more problems to the family\", \"I am worried that something bad may happen if I tell them\".\u00a0If possible express your current concerns and worries to your parents. You can start the conversation with your parents by saying \"I have not been feeling like myself lately, and I may want to see a counselor\".\u00a0I think you are doing the right thing by going on this website and asking for help. Just a helpful tip: positive self-talk can be beneficial before having difficult conversations with others. For example, tell yourself something positive before talking to your parents such as \"I feel confident in myself, and I am doing this to overcome my fear of talking to my parents\" can help to decrease the anxiety you are feeling leading up to the conversation.\u00a0I would recommend if you are feeling depressed or down it would be beneficial to seek counseling to understand your current thoughts and behaviors. Best of luck and hope you decide to start counseling.\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am not sure if I am depressed. I don't know how to bring it up to my parents, and that makes me miserable."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2349
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thank you for asking this important question. I find that there are three steps to getting ready for treatment.\u00a0Step one is expressing interest in wanting to receiving treatment for the outcome of positive behavioral change. Congratulations you did the first step! You are showing your readiness to start counseling by asking this question.\u00a0Now the second step is to find a counselor who specializes in treating clients with Anxiety and Depression. The therapeutic orientations I have found to be helpful in treating clients with \u00a0Anxiety and Depression are a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Mindfulness, and Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Receiving meditation for your symptoms if part of the treatment, and the other part is receiving counseling to increase your resilience for future events.\u00a0Research has found that medication and psychotherapy treatments together shows the most effective outcome for Depression. \u00a0The third step is to increase your positive self-talk to motivate yourself to attend treatment. As counselors, we are aware of the anxieties and fears that are associated with talking to a new professional for the first time. However, remind yourself that you are doing this to improve your well being. I hope this was helpful, and good luck with your treatment journey. ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2350
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It seems like you may be experiencing depression symptoms, they could be the triggered by unexpected life changes, or building up throughout time.The important part is that you have identified them and wanting to change them.\u00a0 The first step is to establish a self-care routine that will help you to feel centered and motivated: go for walks, or make any physical activity that you enjoy ( be kind to yourself, anything helps at this point), eat balanced, add whole grains and fibers to your diet, make a point to rest at night and avoid naps, practice a hobby that you love, or look for a new one that you are curious about. You mentioned that you feel unsettled in your soul: explore your spirituality, meditate about what makes your soul at peace, and find ways to practice that or surround yourself by those activities.If you find it difficult to begin, talk to your therapist to identify roadblocks and ways to find motivation. Suicidal and homicidal thoughts are common but serious depression symptoms, discuss them with your therapist, contact your doctor or psychiatrist, and call 9-1-1 if its and emergency.Once you feel stable, you can focus on exploring the source of the problem and see if you need to make changes or learn coping skills that will help you manage it. \u00a0It will also be a good time to explore your spirituality and your purpose in life, that may help you to feel better with yourself and then happier around others.\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo volver a ser la persona que realmente soy?Siento que mi mente no est\u00e1 bien.\u00a0 My esp\u00edritu est\u00e1 intranquilo.\u00a0 No me siento feliz con las decisiones que tomo, lo cual me hace infeliz con los dem\u00e1s. Me siento como un fracaso la mayor\u00eda del tiempo.\u00a0 Siento que ya no soy bueno para nada. Siento que soy menos que los dem\u00e1s.Al parecer estas experimentando s\u00edntomas de depresi\u00f3n, la cual puede ser causada por cambios recientes en tu vida o estarse acumulando a trav\u00e9s del tiempo.Lo importante en este momento es que t\u00fa reconoces los s\u00edntomas y estas buscando cambiar la situaci\u00f3n.\u00a0 El primer paso ser\u00eda trabajar en restablecer una rutina de cuidado personal que te ayude a sentirte emocionalmente estable y motivado: Sal a caminar o hacer alguna actividad f\u00edsica(ten compasi\u00f3n contigo mismo, cualquier cosa funciona para comenzar), comienza a comer balanceado, especialmente granos y fibras integrales, , procura descansar en las noches y evita las siestas, y practica alg\u00fan tipo de actividad que hayas disfrutado en el pasado o que te de curiosidad.\u00a0 Mencionaste que tu esp\u00edritu esta intranquilo, explora tu espiritualidad, y que te ayudar\u00eda a encontrar la paz, busca la manera de hacer esa pr\u00e1ctica una rutina.Si te cuesta mucho trabajo iniciar estas actividades, ser\u00e1 bueno buscar a un consejero para que te ayude a identificar formas de estar motivado o obst\u00e1culos que te est\u00e9n deteniendo.\u00a0 Es com\u00fan tener pensamientos que atentan en contra de tu vida o la de otros, disc\u00fatelos con tu terapeuta, con tu medico primario o psiquiatra, y llama al 9-1-1 si es una emergencia. \u00a0Ya que consigas estabilidad, puedes comenzar a trabajar o explorar la causa del problema y ver si hay cambios mayores que debes hacer o destrezas que debes aprender para manejar el mismo. Tambi\u00e9n es un buen momento para explorar tu espiritualidad mas profundamente y tu prop\u00f3sito en la vida, cuando encontramos un prop\u00f3sito y como ejercerlo, tendemos a ser m\u00e1s felices con nosotros mismos y con los dem\u00e1s.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel like I am not at a good state of mind. I'm very unsettled in my soul. I'm not happy with myself or the decisions I make, which makes me not happy with anyone else. I feel like a failure most of my days. I don't feel like I'm good at anything anymore. I feel like less of a person."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2351
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "My first concern is you: As you stated, you have been emotionally starving for the past five years. \u00a0Please try to find time for you; to clarify your thoughts and feelings by writing, talking to a trusted friend or family member and perhaps seeing a therapist.What's really going on with your husband? \u00a0Does he discuss in detail his sudden change?\u00a0Can the two of you still talk? Do you want the same things? \u00a0Before you go to couples counseling, I suggest that you get some support first to feel grounded within yourself and your life. \u00a0Make sure you are ready to hear what might come out of counseling. \u00a0\u00a0I wish you the best.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband took a job out of state for the next year and seems to be a different person. Before, he worked and slept, and on off days, he'd stay home because he didn't want to do anything else. Now he's going out with friends several nights a week while I'm still home working a 50 hours a week job and taking care of two kids by myself. He's suddenly saying he misses me and wants me to be his adored wife, but the whole time, I'm remembering how I've been emotionally starving for the last five years."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2352
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "After eight years and two children\u2019s, people change.\u00a0 I suggest to talk to him about how you feel, let him know that although he is gone for a long time, his presence as a husband and father are required and important.\u00a0 Ask him if he will be willing to engage again and how he would like to do so.\u00a0 Many times when the dads are away, moms design a perfect routine and they feel like they will disturb it.\u00a0 Make alone time and family time for him, so you can reconnect as a couple and then as a family.\u00bfC\u00f3mo trabajo con un esposo que solo contribuye econ\u00f3micamente?Mi novio de ocho amos y padre de mis dos hijos es camionero. El nunca est\u00e1 en casa y solo contribuye financieramente. No provee apoyo en ninguna otra forma. El viene a casa cuando puede, duerme, provee dinero y se va otra vez. No puedo lograr que haga nada conmigo y los ni\u00f1os. Solo duerme y trabaja.Despu\u00e9s de ocho a\u00f1os y dos hijos las\u00a0 personas cambian.\u00a0 Te sugiero que hables con tu pareja sobre c\u00f3mo te dientes, d\u00e9jale saber que aunque el esta fuera la mayor\u00eda del tiempo, su presencia como pareja y padre es requerida e importante. Preg\u00fantale si el est\u00e1 dispuesto a comprometerse\u00a0 ser parte activa de la familia y como lo har\u00eda. \u00a0Muchas veces cuando los pap\u00e1s est\u00e1n afuera las mam\u00e1s desarrollan rutinas que luego ellos no quieren interrumpir.\u00a0 Crea tiempo a solas para dedicarle a el para que puedan reconectar como pareja y luego como familia.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend of eight years and father of our two children is a truck driver. He is never home and only contributes to our family financially. There is no other support given. He comes home when able, sleeps, gives money, and leaves again. I can't get him to do anything with me or the kids. He just sleeps and works."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2353
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic, silly or meaningless items.  I get so frustrated and angry, but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\u2019t her fault.  How can I cope with feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2354
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Good observation on your part, to distinguish that your feelings in relation to your mom are not necessarily connected to the way she handles her part of the relation toward you.Has your mom usually ignored your opinions and wishes in relating to you?If prior to the onset of Alzheimer's, she never examined her way of relating to you, and if both of you have never had an open conversation about your sense of feeling hurt by her attitudes and manner with you, then the relationship between you and your mom will change in ways other than rational dialogue.She may continue ignoring or overlooking your wishes because she's been stuck in this attitude for most of your life.The good news for you about this is realizing that who you are and your way of relating to your mom, has very little to do with the way she relates to you.This is a more profound disappointment because it shows that her disconnect from you has been for longer than when the Alzheimer's began.You can however, feel a little more free knowing that you're not deserving of being ignored.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My mother has Alzheimer's and I can see that she has lost some of her intellectual abilities.  Even though I know this disease is not her fault, I\u2019m still finding it difficult to separate my own feelings of disappointment and frustration when my mom seems to ignore my opinions and wishes, and seems"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2355
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. I am very sorry that you are experiencing this. To be honest, this kind of behavior is really emotionally abusive, and you likely know that already. The unfortunate truth is, there is very little we can\u00a0actually\u00a0do to change another adult's behavior if they are not interested in changing it. Many people who behave in this way actually feel justified in saying what they say, or even believe that they are \"helping\" in some way by telling you how to improve yourself. What is actually going on is an attempt to control or change something about you by being coercive and abusive. It is important to know that this kind of behavior doesn't necessarily show up right away. That is why I am not surprised that you are a year in to this relationship and are just now noticing these behaviors. Some people actually don't see them until they are already married! You didn't mention that there has been any physical abuse, but I would warn you that this is sometimes a possibility once a person has already begun to be emotionally abusive. Other things to watch out for is your boyfriend trying to control who you hang out with, what you do and how you dress, etc. These are just more examples of emotional abuse and control. Here are some things to consider and some ideas:1. You could talk to your boyfriend about this behavior, if you believe it is safe to do so. Perhaps he will recognize that his behavior is not okay, and change. If not, then you may need to decide what you want to do about this relationship, given the fact that you cannot force him to change. 2. You can call a local domestic violence program. They do not only work with people who have been physically abused\u00a0or have been married. They are trained to talk about emotional abuse, also. It may be a good thing for support. Your calls are confidential. 3. Check out the wheel in the link below. On it you will find some other common ways that abuse can happen in a relationship. If any of these are happening to you, or begin to happen, talking to a domestic violence program, a trusted friend or family member, or\u00a0a counselor would be a good idea.\u00a0http://www.domesticviolence-wilm.org/Portals/97/Images/violence_wheel.gif\u00a0 Be well.... Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my early 20s, and I've been seeing my boyfriend for a year now. My boyfriend has always been the sweetest guy until recently. He has made comments such as \u201cyou would look better as a Tumblr girl\" or \"you should start doing more squats.\" It's really hurtful."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2356
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. I am very sorry about this life-altering situation that both you and your boyfriend are going through. To be sure, this is a devastating and lonely road for both of you. I say lonely because when things like this happen we often don't know what to say to each other, and so we suffer in silence with little support.Here are a few thoughts that I am having, and perhaps others will add things, too:1. By the sound of your main question, it seems like you have every intention to be there for your boyfriend during this difficult time. I am not sure if he is willing to talk about his health situation, but letting him know that you want to support him and also need his support may be helpful. 2. If it is possible, see if he would be willing to go to a counselor with you. There are many things that a counselor could focus on that may help your relationship, but also help you both cope with what is happening.3. If he refuses to seek support, you may want to consider going on your own. If you can't afford it, sometimes hospice organizations offer support groups and other services. It is very important not to neglect yourself. Be well,Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We have been together over a year. We spend time together every day no matter how busy. He started to be unusually fatigued and losing weight. He also began to be distant and sexually selfish. We had a argument, and he confided he has late stage stomach cancer. He wont treat it."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2357
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There are many possible answers here. It could be that she misses friends, that she felt safe in the other house (emotionally safe and comfortable), or dozens of other things. Will she talk about it when she's not mad? You mentioned that she has an attachment issue. It could also be that she was attached to the house. It's not the same as being attached to a person, but possessions and safe places certainly mean a lot.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "She was diagnosed a type one diabetic two years ago and had a very tough time dealing with it.  She has an attachment issue also; her mother just moved to a much nicer home, and she gets angry and demands to go back to her prior home. We do not understand what is going on, and it is driving us crazy."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2358
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Believing in God is a\u00a0matter of faith.\u00a0 There are many opinions out there for and against God\u2019s existence.\u00a0 But the real question is not if God is real or not, but, do you want to have faith and decide that he exists?\u00a0 This is a personal choice.\u00a0 Reading scripture may help to learn more about those who struggle with believing, but again, you decide if you believe that scripture is true or not. \u00a0\u00a0Praying and asking for a revelation or a confirmation may help as well, but again it is another act of faith. Estoy teniendo dificultad con la idea de: \u00bfDios es real o no?Tal vez es una pregunta est\u00fapida, pero algunas veces no s\u00e9 que es real o no.\u00a0 Siento que todo el mundo miente. \u00bfC\u00f3mo se si Dios es una de esas mentiras?Creer en Dios es una cuesti\u00f3n de fe.\u00a0 Hay muchas opiniones en favor y en contra de la existencia de Dios.\u00a0 Pero la verdadera pregunta no es si Dios existe, pero si tu quieres creer que existe.\u00a0 Esto es una decisi\u00f3n muy individual.\u00a0 Leer la Biblia te puede ayudar a conocer sobre algunas personas que han dudado, pero de nuevo, tu decides si las escrituras son reales para ti. Orar y pedir una revelaci\u00f3n o confirmaci\u00f3n es otro acto de fe, que te puede ayudar.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Maybe this is a stupid question, but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2359
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Every area in a relationship, including intimacy,\r\nexperiences a decline after the initial honeymoon period.\u00a0 Couples have to work to maintain the spark.\u00a0 Find a moment to talk to your husband about\r\nyour concerns, and suggest ways to rekindle your sexual life, be open to listen\r\nto his concerns and demands as well.\u00a0 But\r\ndon\u2019t forget that sex the fun part of being with someone, play, flirt, joke and\r\nkeep looking for ways to continue falling for each other.\u00a0 Mi esposo solo tiene relaciones\r\nconmigo una vez al mes o menos. \u00a0Me\r\nsiento rechazada y frustrada.\u00a0 Esto no es\r\nnuevo.\u00a0 El primer mes que estuvimos\r\njuntos, ten\u00edamos sexo casi todos los d\u00edas.\u00a0\r\nLuego se redujo a una vez por semana.\u00a0\r\nAmo a mi esposo, pero esto me causa dificultad.Todas las \u00e1reas\r\nde una relaci\u00f3n, incluyendo la intimidad, sufren altas y bajas luego del\r\nperiodo de la luna de miel.\u00a0 Las parejas tienen\r\nque trabajar para mantener la chispa.\u00a0 Encuentra\r\nun momento para hablar con tu esposo sobre tu preocupaci\u00f3n, y sugiere maneras\r\nde reencender su vida sexual, est\u00e1 atenta a escuchar sus preocupaciones y\r\nsugerencias al igual.\u00a0 No olvides que el\r\nsexo es una de las partes m\u00e1s divertidas de una relaci\u00f3n, jueguen, coqueteen,\r\nbromeen y contin\u00faen buscando maneras de enamorarse otra vez.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm feeling rejected and frustrated. This is not new. The first month we were together, sex was about every day. Then it slowed down to once a month right away. I love my husband, but I am struggling with this."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2360
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Family support is very helpful when having these symptoms. \u00a0I suggest looking for therapist within reach (school, through your insurance\u00a0or the community, calling 2-1-1). \u00a0Once you schedule a session, you can inform them and invite them to come in. \u00a0 I have found trough sceptic parents, that once they give it a chance they open up to the process of learning and healing.\u00a0 I also understand that parents may become overly concerned and overprotective when hearing about your symptoms, and that\u2019s why is important to discuss them with a therapist, normalize them, understand why you experience them, and learn how they could help you. \u00bfC\u00f3mo les digo a mis padres que yo pienso que tengo problemas mentales?Estoy seguro que tengo depresi\u00f3n\u00a0 ansiedad.\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n escucho voces en mi cabeza.\u00a0 Tengo problemas para dormir tambi\u00e9n.\u00a0 Y he sido diagnosticado con d\u00e9ficit de atenci\u00f3n y desorden obsesivo compulsivo.\u00a0 Me he auto flagelado y sol\u00eda tener ideas suicidas.\u00a0 Como les dejo saber y les pido ayuda.El apoyo de la familia es muy \u00fatil cuando se experimentan los s\u00edntomas que mencionas.\u00a0 Te sugiero que busques un consejero (en la escuela, a trav\u00e9s de tu plan m\u00e9dico, o en la comunidad, llamando al 2-1-1). \u00a0Ya que tengas tu cita, invita a tus padres.\u00a0 He observado que aunque algunos padres son esc\u00e9pticos al principio, pero una vez le dan una oportunidad se abren al proceso de terapia y sus beneficios. Tambi\u00e9n he observado que algunos padres se vuelven sobreprotectores cuando aprenden de los s\u00edntomas que sufren sus hijos, as\u00ed que ser\u00eda otro beneficio que aprendieran que pueden hacer para ayudarte y apoyarte.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am pretty sure I have depression and anxiety. I also have voices in my head. I have problems sleeping too. I've already been diagnosed with attention-deficit disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have self-harmed in the last and used to be suicidal. How do I tell them this and ask for therapy?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2361
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is common to go through a stage of adjustment after a breakup, which may include depression symptoms. I recommend practicing self-care:\u00a0 stressing on balancing your life with healthy eating, exercise, resting and looking at your spiritual life.\u00a0 These steps should assist you in giving your body and mind some balance. \u00a0Practice cognitive reframing, this is training your brain to refocus, and stay on task.\u00a0 Meditation is a great tool to clear your mind during the day as well; there are multiple apps that help. If the problem persists a therapist could assist you in learning to focus and process those thoughts and feelings that cloud you mind.\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo manejar la depresi\u00f3n despu\u00e9s de una\u00a0separaci\u00f3n?He estado cayendo en una depresi\u00f3n profunda que no me permite funcionar durante el d\u00eda. El \u00fanico memento en el que estoy en calma es cuando duermo.\u00a0 Si estoy con mis amigos, familia, en el trabajo o a solas, no puedo pensar claramente. Ya no me siento como yo.Es com\u00fan pasar por un estado de ajuste despu\u00e9s de una separaci\u00f3n, y este ajuste puede incluir s\u00edntomas de depresi\u00f3n.\u00a0 Recomiendo que practiques auto compasi\u00f3n: esforzarte en balancear tu vida comiendo saludable, ejercit\u00e1ndote, descansando y analizando tu vida espiritual.\u00a0 Estos pasos te ayudar\u00e1n a balancear tu mente y cuerpo.\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n puedes practicar reenfocar tus pensamientos para mantener tu mente clara. La meditaci\u00f3n es una buena manera de practicar el enfoque mental, y existen muchas aplicaciones que te pueden ayudar.\u00a0 Si el problema persiste tu consejero te puede ayudar a aprender t\u00e9cnicas de enfoque a procesar pensamientos\u00a0 o sentimientos que te est\u00e9n afectando.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been falling into a deep depression where I can no function during the day and night. The only time I am at peace is when I\u2019m asleep. If I am with friends, family, at work, and mainly alone, I cannot think straight. I no longer feel like myself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2362
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Your question is actually thoughtful and reflects a true interest to know more about life.No one knows if god is a lie because \"god\" is a concept in which people either make up their own definition of this concept, or believe one of the concepts of what god is, handed down by religions.All the religions exclude the other god concepts, and expect loyalty to believing in their particular version of \"god\".Probably god is real in the sense that most people want to believe there is guided purpose to what goes on in life.This is as definite as what we can know about \"god\".\"God\" is not a lie because it is not a fact. \u00a0Beliefs aren't provable.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Maybe this is a stupid question, but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2363
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 It is not a stupid question, it is very basic. To help answer your question, let me begin with the premise that you will never have absolute proof. With that being said, one can look at different phenomena in nature and history and figure what is the statistical probability that they happened randomly. If one comes to the logical conclusion that many are quite improbable, then there must be a guiding force and plan.\u00a0 May you be successful in your journey.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Maybe this is a stupid question, but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2364
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 As you seemed to have learned, the impact will not just \"go away\". Treatment of trauma is like surgery, it requires a skillful clinician to help resolve it. While you are contemplating getting help, you can focus on calming techniques like meditation and yoga. They will aid you when you begin the therapeutic process.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I was a victim of an incident. I've been made fun of and have been beating myself up for it because I don't feel anyone honestly believes me. There are so many other factors I deal with on a daily basis. I ignore my problems when I'm with my friends, but it\u2019s scary when I\u2019m alone."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2365
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 A good start is to pay attention to some basic issues: sleep, nutrition, exercise and socially supportive relationships. A great car on an empty tank will not get you very far.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my late 20s. I have two jobs right now, I'm in school, and I feel like I just have a lot under my belt right now. I get stressed out really easily. I tend to worry and over-think. I'm just worried about money and everything."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2366
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thanks for posting. \u00a0This is a significant issue for many people and can make us feel helpless; among other emotions due to the uncertainty. \u00a0You said that, at times, you feel like everyone is lying. Ask yourself some of these questions. \u00a0What is it that makes you feel so strongly that they are lying? \u00a0Where is the concrete evidence that they are lying? How could I test my thoughts about this? What if things are not what they seem on the surface? Am I any lesser of a person as a result of this person's behavior or opinion? \u00a0Our beliefs about ourselves and the people and our world \u00a0and how we interpret information and experiences have a significant effect on how we feel and how we behave. \u00a0It is important to objectively challenge the beliefs that contribute to negative emotions. \u00a0You can start this process by answering some of the above questions. \u00a0We are unfortunately influenced by what and who we associate with. \u00a0As it pertains to if God is a lie; be honest with yourself and question your beliefs that tell you that God is or is not real. \u00a0It may be helpful for you to speak to a preacher or chaplain of some sort and they can help you with a lot of that. \u00a0Hope this helps at least a little bit. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Maybe this is a stupid question, but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2367
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Thank you for posting. \u00a0I'm interested to hear some more information; such as, if you live by yourself or family, if you go to school/employed/unemployed, and what kind of things do you like to do with friends or by yourself. \u00a0Often times, when we are experiencing a strong emotion that we interpret as negative, we put most of our focus on that negative emotion and struggle to see that we do not always\u00a0feel that specific emotion. \u00a0There are typically points in the day (even if it is for only in 1 minute intervals) when we do not feel that negative emotion. \u00a0When we overgeneralize, we use words like \"always\" or \"never\" and when we use those words and it may not be totally true, we feel the negative emotion based on an inaccuracy which is not fair to you. \u00a0Ask yourself some of these questions: Am I being realistic when I'm overgeneralizing things? Have I ever noticed a short period of time that I wasn't feeling anxious? \u00a0What do I notice when I am feeling anxious? What am I thinking about? \u00a0When was the last time I felt empathy? \u00a0What was different when I was able to feel empathy? \u00a0Hopefully this helps get you started. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I can't seem to feel any emotion except anxiety, not even for myself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2368
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. This is certainly a tough spot. I have a few thoughts and perhaps some colleagues will add some things. You may want to spend a few minutes calling to mind any conversations that you have had with your father about transgender issues, or if you have ever heard him talk about it. That may give you a small clue about how well he may accept this news from you. For example, if he has been watching the news lately, transgender rights is something that is being talked about a lot. Has he had an opinion? This won't tell you for sure if he would be okay with learning you are transgender, but at least you would know if there is hostility toward transgender people. To tell you the truth, the best way to tell your dad is whatever way feels right to you. There is no right or wrong way, best or worst. If you want to tell him when you are by yourself with him? That's perfect. Want to have a friend with you for support? Equally perfect. Whatever thing you need to do. And, of course, there is always the option of not telling him anything until you are comfortable doing so. Unfortunately, the response from your dad can't be predicted. Some parents are totally cool.... others not so much. This is one reason why having someone with your for support is sometimes a good idea. If things get heated, you have someone in your corner. There are therapists who specialize in affirmative therapy, and they may be very helpful to you in working out how you want to tell him. You can also Google some stories about how others came out.I refer many people to the www.letsqueerthingsup.com blog. It is a popular blog written by a trans man that I know. He writes on many topics related to trans issues. Hope some of these suggestions help. Be well... be you.. and good luck!Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have known I was always different. This year, in December, I found out that I never felt female. I did research and have identified myself as male but don't know how to tell my dad."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2369
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Empathy is the ability\r\nto tap into our own experience to help us connect with others in order to be\r\naware of how they are experiencing life.\u00a0\r\nIt is a skill that we learn with practice and refine as we become mature.\r\nIf you are feeling anxious, maybe you are able to understand better others who\r\nare going trough anxiety.\u00a0 But I wonder\r\nif instead of feeling empathy, you may just want to find ways to reduce your\r\nanxiety.\u00a0 A good idea is to be very aware\r\nof your anxiety triggers, and once you identify them explore other ways you\r\ncould react.\u00a0\u00bfSera normal que no sienta empat\u00eda?Parece que no puedo experimentar ninguna otra emoci\u00f3n que\r\nno sea ansiedad, ni si quiera por m\u00ed misma.\u00a0Empat\u00eda es la habilidad de usar tus propias\r\nexperiencias para conectarte con otros y estar consciente de la manera que\r\nellos experimentan la vida.\u00a0 Es una\r\ndestreza interpersonal que aprendemos y refinamos con la pr\u00e1ctica y seg\u00fan maduramos\r\ncomo personas.\u00a0 Si te est\u00e1s sintiendo\r\nansioso, tal vez puedas comprender mejor como otra persona experimenta momentos\r\nde ansiedad.\u00a0 Pero me pregunto si en\r\nlugar de estar buscando sentir empat\u00eda, realmente quisieras reducir tus niveles\r\nde ansiedad.\u00a0 Una buena manera es estar consciente\r\nque activa la ansiedad, y ya que lo identifiques, explora que otras reacciones\r\npudieras tener.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I can't seem to feel any emotion except anxiety, not even for myself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2370
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I don't know how long ago your breakup was, but I would suggest that you reach out to friends or family that you trust and perhaps a local mental health clinician.I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you are not able to function during the day and night. If you are having trouble sleeping for more than a few nights, consider talking with your primary care physician. Not sleeping can really make changes in your emotions seem much larger.Can you find anything in your life that is the same as it was before the breakup? This may be a starting point for you. I wonder if you could think of and moment or two each day when you feel emotionally at peace while you are awake. Also consider looking at things that you can control, such as when you choose to wear, eat, and who you talk to about your deepest feelings.You mentioned that you have friends and family. I wonder if any of them are supportive to you.Please reach out and talk to someone about the details. I get the sense that you feel that you are alone in this, and having someone there to help you sort out what you're feeling sounds like it would be a gift to yourself.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have been falling into a deep depression where I can no function during the day and night. The only time I am at peace is when I\u2019m asleep. If I am with friends, family, at work, and mainly alone, I cannot think straight. I no longer feel like myself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2371
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First I think we have to acknowledge that you are doing something amazing.\u00a0 You are putting yourself out there and becoming a Water Safety Instructor.\u00a0\u00a0 We often times will focus on the negative and forget about the positive.\u00a0 Next, you had an incident where someone pointed something out which may have caused embarrassment.\u00a0 Whether or not it was malicious on his part I think the important thing to focus on is what is called \"Common Humanity\".\u00a0 Common Humanity is one of the three elements of self-compassion.\u00a0 Common humanity essentially recognizes that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience.\u00a0 While you may have had this embarrassing moment at this time, that boy may have had an embarrassing moment another day.\u00a0 We all have embarrassing moments.\u00a0 When we recognize that we do not suffer in isolation then we are able to move past that suffering.\u00a0 Additionally another element to self-compassion is self-kindness.\u00a0 My question is why must you forgive yourself?\u00a0 Rather, be kind to yourself for learning an amazing new talent.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am becoming a Water Safety Instructor but I didn't have enough for a proper swimsuit. I was told by a boy in class that my top was displaying everything. I was very embarrassed."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2372
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I am wondering who is telling you that sex is dangerous.\u00a0 Is this medical advice, or is this someone\u2019s\r\nopinion trying to scare you from having sex?\u00a0\r\nAnd if so, how old are you? Is it ok to have sex, do you want to have\r\nsex?\u00a0 It sounds like you want to make\r\nyour partner happy, and that you are taking care of protecting yourself and\r\nyour partner, but maybe you are forgetting to consider what do you really want.\u00a0 Having sexual relations is a very personal decision;\r\nyou and your partner have to consent.\u00a0 It\r\nis also important to talk about the possible consequences and being responsible\r\nfor them as well.\u00a0 But sex should be something\r\nthat you enjoy, not that you should be fearful of.\u00a0 A therapist can help you to process those\r\nnegative thoughts and feelings that may impair you from enjoying your sexual\r\nlife.\u00a0\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedo superar mi miedo de un\r\nembarazo no deseado y poder tener sexo otra vez?Estoy\r\naterrorizado de tener sexo porque me han dicho una y otra vez que el sexo es\r\npeligroso, inclusive cuando yo y mi pareja usamos dos m\u00e9todos de protecci\u00f3n.\u00a0 Mi pareja no est\u00e1 contenta y simplemente\r\nquiere m\u00e1s sexo, y honestamente, yo quiero darle lo que ella quiere.Me pregunto qui\u00e9n\r\nte est\u00e1 diciendo que el sexo es peligroso.\u00a0\r\n\u00bfEsto es aviso medico, o es alguien intentando asustarte para que no\r\ntengas relaciones?\u00a0 \u00bfY si es as\u00ed, que\r\nedad tienes?\u00a0 \u00bfEs apropiado que tengas\r\nsexo a tu edad?\u00a0 \u00bfQuieres tener sexo? Me\r\nparece que estas enfocado en hacer feliz a tu pareja, y te est\u00e1s protegiendo y protegi\u00e9ndola,\r\npero tal vez est\u00e1n olvidando analizar que tu quieres realmente.\u00a0 Recuerda que tener una relaci\u00f3n sexual es una\r\ndecisi\u00f3n personal, en la que t\u00fa y tu pareja deben de estar de acuerdo.\u00a0\u00a0 Tambi\u00e9n es importante hablar de las posibles\r\nconsecuencias de tener relaciones, como un embarazo, y discutir sus opciones e\r\nintenciones, si eso ocurriera.\u00a0 Ya que\r\nhan tenido comunicaci\u00f3n al respecto, el sexo debe ser algo que disfruten,\u00a0 no que temen.\u00a0\r\nUn terapista te puede ayudar a procesar esos pensamientos negativos y\r\nlos sentimientos que te pudieran impedir disfrutar de tu vida sexual.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am so terrified of having sex anymore because I have been told over and over that sex is dangerous even though me and my partner used both forms of protection. My partner is not happy about this and simply wants more sex, and honestly, I want to give that to her."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2373
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The fact that you mention that he is \"constantly changing his mind on if he wants to work it out,\" suggests that Discernment Counseling might be a really good fit for you both. Discernment counseling is a protocol for partners where one or both aren't certain they want to remain in the relationship. It's a brief (1-5 sessions) and intentionally focused on helping partners talk through (primarily individually) their reasons for and against staying in the relationship - as well as confront their own contributions that lead to the relationship crisis. It's aimed at helping the couple reach a clear understanding of which path they are going to take, not asking anyone to change just yet, so it can be a lot less intimidating and more to the point than couples therapy. \u00a0You can look to find a local therapist providing this service here.\u00a0That said, I agree with other respondents that if he is deciding to leave, seeking out support for yourself would be incredibly helpful.\u00a0You may need to accept his decision, but you can certainly feel whatever emotions you have.\u00a0\u00a0You are allowed to feel exactly how you feel, and it's likely you'll be sad, or angry or hurt or disappointed or scared, or any combination of any/all of those.\u00a0Having someone there who can validate those emotions and help you to process the grief that naturally comes with the end of a relationship can be a huge help in finding a place of healing and regaining a sense of self, a sense of hope.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "He said he would try and he never did. It's been nine months, and this is making me worse. Today, he said I have to respect whatever decision he makes. Is that true? Am I supposed to respect the decision to leave because he can't handle what I'm going through and leaves me here crying and worried every night? He's constantly changing his mind on if he wants to work it out."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2374
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Seeking professional help does not mean that you will necessarily be admitted into an inpatient setting - though \u00a0to be honest, that can become an option if you feel unsafe or if you are unable to plan for safety. However, many clients who struggle with self-harm can find help in outpatient settings - particularly those which offer a treatment called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Looking for a DBT professional or group therapy setting may be particularly helpful, but a\u00a0skilled professional can help you to figure out how to identify other options even when you are experiencing overwhelming emotions.\u00a0Without knowing your location, I also recommend searching to find your local helpline or suicide prevention hotline. The volunteers on the other end of the line can be very helpful even if your intention is not suicide and they are likely also to be able to connect you with resources in your area. Calling into the helpline may also be a first step alternative to self-harming when you're feeling overwhelmed.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have bipolar disorder, paranoid personality disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I last self-harmed a week ago. When I am stressed, overwhelmed, hurt, or angry, the urge to self-harm is all I can think of. I am trying to seek help."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2375
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I recognize that you say you are missing being with the love of your life. At the same time, I don't understand whether you are able to see your son. I'm curious as to the relationship dynamic between you and your son's mother.When you say that she \"never looked back,\" I imagine you are conveying that getting back together is not something that she is interested in.I would suggest that you talk with a therapist and your local area so that you have the ability to discuss the loss of this person who you love so much. Most people think of grief related to the loss of someone who has died, But it also applies to people who have a significant loss, whether that is a relationship, a job, or any number of other things.In the meantime, try finding something about yourself that you value and can focus on.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "A year ago, the love of my life left me and never looked back. Our son was two months old at the time and it broke my heart. I miss her so much and can't seem to get over  being so heartbroken."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2376
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Relationships at any amount of distance can be so hard! It makes sense that you are encountering more anxiety than usual given that major change in your relationship. And you're right that being separated from our partners can heighten our insecurities and worries about not only our relationship security but about our partner's interest. Have you talked with your boyfriend about this struggle you're feeling? It can be hard to have this kind of conversation without triggering a sense of blame and subsequent defensiveness in our partners, but it really is possible. If you have any concerns about being able to do this, then a session or two with a local counselor or therapist might be really helpful - and it really can be just about finding the way to share what you're feeling.As far as coping with anxiety, there are a lot of options but I highly recommend an app called Self-Help for Anxiety Management. There's so much good information in this app to help you learn to pay attention to what kinds of thoughts are helpful or unhelpful, and there are also lots of activities for calming down and decreasing the intensity of that anxiety. The best part is, it's free!\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. He recently got a new job and travels a lot. I\u2019m not used to him being gone all the time. I feel as though he has forgotten about me because he does not talk with me as much and doesn\u2019t keep me up to date on everything that he does throughout the day, which he used to.\r\nI feel lost, sad and unwanted. This is really a tough new challenge. I just want to break up with him, but I love him so much. I don\u2019t know why he is acting this way lately. I believe I have separation anxiety. Is there anything that I can do to help me cope with this while he is out of town?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2377
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. While counselors work closely with medical providers, and sometimes have discussions about medications with people, we rarely make recommendations about how much or what type\u00a0of medication\u00a0a person should be taking. This is because prescribing and advising on medication is out of our scope of practice. The only exception would be if a counselor is also a physician, nurse practitioner, physician's assistant, etc. Having said that, I certainly understand that anxiety is a real serious problem that many folks struggle with. If you are currently not in therapy to help you with these panic attacks, you should consider it. Medications can be helpful for anxiety, and medications like Xanax may help for immediate relief, but they do nothing to deal with the root of anxiety and may not help with anxiety long-term. Therapists who have experience in exposure therapies would be good people to start with. Exposure therapy has\u00a0good outcomes for people with anxiety disorders and panic attacks. If you are interested in speaking with your provider about the Xanax, I think explaining it the way you did on here is just fine. The provider will then decide if they feel comfortable increasing your medication. Please remember that medical providers are not trying to give people a hard time. Medications like Xanax really are highly addictive. The more you take, the more you may feel you need. The more often you may feel you need to use it. Depending on the frequency and amount of use, some people suffer serious withdrawal symptoms when they do not take the medication. It is a good idea to talk to medical\u00a0provider about all of those things so that you can partner on right course of action to manage this anxiety. I certainly hope that you get some relief.... I know anxiety is awful.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I\u2019ve been on 0.5 mg of Xanax twice a day for the past month. It hasn't been helping me at all, but when I take 1 mg during a big anxiety attack, it calms me down. I was wondering how I can ask my psychologist to up the dose to 1 mg twice a day without her thinking I'm abusing them. I just have very big anxiety attacks. Should I stay on the 0.5mg and deal with the attacks or should I ask to up the dose? I'm afraid she will take me off them and put me on something else."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2378
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It could be really helpful to see a counselor/therapist about your increasing depression/panic symptoms. Finding out the cause of depression/anxiety isn't always as straightforward as it seems, since both issues tend to become patterns we engage in rather than solely related to a specific trigger/reason. For example, if I am feeling down about a particular circumstance in my life, then I start seeing life through this lens of feeling down, and typically I'll start to see a lot more that I get down about, and it can really build very quickly on itself. Same with anxiety. Obviously, this is a very simplified example and it can be very difficult to see how the pattern is maintained, but that's where working with a counselor/therapist comes in.\u00a0I would be curious about whether you can start to notice the initial sensations of panic, and if you can (through the panic attack) continue to maintain awareness of the actual physical sensations. Even better if you can talk yourself through the sensations you're feeling - such as saying to yourself \"Okay, I'm breathing really rapidly, and my heart is racing, now my palms are sweaty and my chest is feeling really tight...\" Reminding yourself that it's just your body's reaction to stress, and while it might be overreacting right now, you're okay and eventually it will go away. I highly recommend the SAM for Anxiety Management app for the anxiety piece, and I wouldn't be surprised if addressing the anxiety helped to address some of the depression too.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been feeling more and more down for over a month. I have started having trouble sleeping due to panic attacks, but they are almost never triggered by something that I know of."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2379
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would be curious about there potentially being some emotional or physical trauma in your daughter's history that she is struggling with. Physical trauma is usually easier to identify, but emotional trauma can be feeling a lack of emotional connection in her important relationships, having experienced bullying, or some other emotional injury. The fact that there are some defiance symptoms going on suggests that she might be in need of a safe place to process what she's going through, and the potential issue with control or meeting emotional needs with food is also concerning. I would recommend looking for a therapist/counselor who works with children/adolescents in the area of addressing trauma for an assessment. They may be able to ask the right questions to see whether trauma is truly the issue.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Her father and I have been dealing with this problem for quite some time now. She is an adolescent, and the problem is mostly food. She is now overweight, and we just don't know what to do anymore. She can be disrespectful and doesn't listen to or respect what we say."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2380
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Consider talking with your boyfriend about times that you may be able to talk together while he is away. This way, you have an idea when you'll be able to contact him. Does he recognize the feelings that you have while he is away? How do you feel when you are together with him and he is home?I'm also curious as to how the level of your anxiety (on a scale of 1 to 10, perhaps) changes during the parts of his trips. Maybe there are certain parts that are more or less related to anxiety for you. Perhaps you have less anxiety while working or involved in a specific activity, for example, spending time with friends.When you are both in the same area (when your boyfriend is not traveling), do you do some things independently with friends?\u00a0Do you know what leads to your anxiety when he is away? I don't know whether it is a general feeling of wanting him to come back or anxiety that something specific will happen to you or him.Do you ever recall feeling this way in your past? If so, what was happening then?What do you have that makes you feel very safe and comfortable?Consider working with a mental health professional in the area. Perhaps it would be helpful for the two of you to meet with a therapist who specializes in couples to see what kind of relationship you want to have and what you can each do to contribute to that relationship. There could be things that you could both start or stop doing to help your relationship move in the direction where you would like it to go. As an example, perhaps you would like a text before your boyfriend goes to bed, no matter what time zone or time of day it is. Perhaps he would prefer a good morning text or call/voicemail from you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. He recently got a new job and travels a lot. I\u2019m not used to him being gone all the time. I feel as though he has forgotten about me because he does not talk with me as much and doesn\u2019t keep me up to date on everything that he does throughout the day, which he used to.\r\nI feel lost, sad and unwanted. This is really a tough new challenge. I just want to break up with him, but I love him so much. I don\u2019t know why he is acting this way lately. I believe I have separation anxiety. Is there anything that I can do to help me cope with this while he is out of town?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2381
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "My answer is going to be super simplistic but I believe this may be what you need. Ask your husband if he wants to stay married to you. \u00a0If he says yes, then it would be helpful to go to a marriage counselor and work this out with a professional. \u00a0If he says no, then you can file for divorce. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My husband had an emotional affair with his ex-wife in November. She invited him to dinner, alone, with their daughter. I wasn\u2019t aware of this until after 11pm when I asked where he was. He had been drinking, and I told him not to come home that night. The next morning, we talked about going to counseling. He went out that night with friends and said his ex-wife wasn't going. I found out in April that she did go. I gave him the chance to get everything out in the open. I found out that he stayed that second night with her. I asked if they slept in the same bed, and he said yes, both nights. His daughter wasn't there the second night. He claims they didn't have sex, but what else should I think?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2382
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Though I don't know for sure, it sounds like anxiety to me. I think it would be helpful if you work with a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Sometimes, I'm fine and can go out or meet people, but other days, my heart races and words physically cannot come out of my mouth. I've always thought it was normal and I was just nervous, but the other day, it took me almost 30 minutes of sitting in my car to find the courage to enter Target by myself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2383
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have you brought up the topic as to the way you're feeling?The best way for someone to understand us or to understand someone, is to directly talk about \u00a0the specific problem.To start the discussion w your partner, understand your own reasons for continuing the relationship.Given his stated disinterest in the relationship, your mood is probably affected by this.Once you are clear on how the range of your feelings, especially any fears on being alone, suggesting you may be staying w this guy simply to avoid such fears, then you'll be ready w your self-knowledge, to start a conversation w your partner about your relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been with a man for four years. For the last year, he has said he is done, but he still talks, texts, visits, and has not moved on with anyone else. His words do not match his actions. I love this man, but it's hurting so much."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2384
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, it seems like you may have a type of anxiety: but considering that it is intermittent, it may be a good idea to talk to a therapist and explore what triggers the anxiety.\u00a0 Different types of anxiety are caused by different scenarios, memories, or stressors.\u00a0\u00a0 Once you identify what triggers the anxiety, you may be able to identify the\u00a0coping\u00a0mechanism that will help you handle your symptoms.\u00bfTengo alg\u00fan\u00a0tipo\u00a0de\u00a0ansiedad?A veces estoy bien, puedo salir a reunirme con personas, pero otros d\u00edas, mi coraz\u00f3n se acelera y las palabras no salen de mi boca.\u00a0\u00a0 Siempre pens\u00e9 que era normal y que solo estaba nervioso, pero el otro d\u00eda, me tomo casi 30 minutos encontrar el valor para salir del carro y entrar a Target.Si parece que tienes un tipo de ansiedad, y considerando que es intermitente, puede ser \u00fatil hablar con un consejero para explorar su causa.\u00a0\u00a0 Hay diferentes tupos de ansiedad que son causados por diferentes est\u00edmulos, memorias y escenarios. Ya que logres identificar que causa tu ansiedad, entonces podr\u00e1s aprender mecanismos de defensa que te ayuden a controlar la ansiedad.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Sometimes, I'm fine and can go out or meet people, but other days, my heart races and words physically cannot come out of my mouth. I've always thought it was normal and I was just nervous, but the other day, it took me almost 30 minutes of sitting in my car to find the courage to enter Target by myself."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2385
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 \u00a0Feeling rejected and frustrated is a reasonable reaction to your experience with your husband. I want to encourage you that his actions may have little to do with you, and regardless of outcomes, I hope you find the help you need to process through your pain and still have hope for your marriage.\u00a0 \u00a0If your husband was to work with me I'd explore with him his understanding of, and experience with, intimacy in relationship with others.\u00a0Furthermore, like other male clients of mine, I'd challenge your husband to secure an updated full medical exam from his PCP (primary care physician) and/or urologist in order to identify or rule out any organic issues which may be causing his apparent lack of desire for sexual intimacy. If there are no physical issues, per se, I would encourage your husband to process further his family of origin story-line regarding rules, roles, sex, and sexuality along with working through his sexual and trauma histories.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm feeling rejected and frustrated. This is not new. The first month we were together, sex was about every day. Then it slowed down to once a month right away. I love my husband, but I am struggling with this."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2386
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 \u00a0The comments here from the other therapists are \"spot on\". As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist-Candidate I'm convinced your partner's acting out creates trauma for you. Your partner's addiction is NOT your fault and his recovery IS his responsibility. What's paramount is for you to get immediate help from an experienced therapist who understands trauma as result of the partner's/spouse's problematic sexual behaviors. Your needs, safety, and the establishment of reasonable boundaries is vital to your well-being. I wish you the very best.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) https://www.iitap.com/, 2)\u00a0https://www.sanon.org/, 3)\u00a0http://www.cosa-recovery.org/", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I believe my partner has a masturbation and porn problem. He masturbates daily, even when I am lying in bed sleeping beside him. We have sex once a week. He is rough and worries about his needs. He never touches me, and treats me like a porn star, wanting to finish on my face or chest."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2387
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 \u00a0It took a lot of courage to share what must be so shameful to you and to ask for help. Regardless of your sexual attraction/orientation, I'd encourage you to get honest with yourself and your partner/fiancee and put a temporary hold on your wedding plans -- getting married will NOT resolve your acting out. It seems to me you need more space, time to sort through with an experienced therapist more of your sex/sexuality story-line and apparent anxiety surrounding the upcoming nuptials. In the immediate I encourage you to also take the initiative to have yourself tested for STDs, etc. and if you've been sexually intimate with your partner/fiancee s/he needs to be similarly tested. Best wishes.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) The book \"Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men\" by Jane Ward, 2)\u00a0http://www.sca-recovery.org/, 3)\u00a0https://slaafws.org/", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I\u2019m a man, and I\u2019m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing, but it\u2019s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2388
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 \u00a0The information from the other therapists here is sound and prudent. There are what sounds to be real legal (is this man a RSO [registered sex offender]; is he prohibited from being in proximity to minors? use/possession of child porn violates any # of state and federal statues...) and safety issues at play here. Your husband's daughters have an immediate \"need to know\" and this can be done developmentally-contextual, factually and in a non-shaming fashion.\u00a0I would further counsel that you and your husband (his daughters welfare is at stake) seek immediate legal counsel.\u00a0The ex-wife here seems to be between a \"rock and a hard place\" of her own creation -- she desperately needs care, treatment for herself.\u00a0Resources for Your Consideration: 1) http://www.missingkids.com/home; 2)\u00a0https://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/citizens-guide-us-federal-law-child-pornography", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband\u2019s ex-wife married a man who was charged with seven felony counts of pandering involving a minor. He, by his own admission, is addicted to child pornography. My step-daughters are now all teenagers. They do not know. My husband\u2019s ex-wife has kept this information from my step-daughters. The step-father has had issues regarding his pornography addiction recently. The ex-wife minimizes it by saying that he has \"repented.\" It is a constant strain on my husband, knowing that his girls are living with a man who is addicted to child pornography. My own therapist believes the girls should be told. The ex-wife says her therapist says the opposite."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2389
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 \u00a0Thanks for sharing as it shows your humanity and that you have a sensitive conscience. In your example here I'd encourage you to always think, \"safety first\"; and never offer a stranger at the accident scene \"...several hundred dollars\". Why? Because it could go badly against you (i.e. extortion, robbed, or would this be considered a bribe).\u00a0 \u00a0To the point, I'm reminded of Steps Eight and Nine in many 12-step programs regarding making amends. In your specific example since the injured unidentified party departed, and by your own admission you've been doing random acts of kindness, it seems to me you've acted in reasonable good faith fashion to make amends. Well done.\u00a0 \u00a0I'm not a karma expert but as a therapist I would invite you to explore the deeper story behind your use of the words \"cowardly\", \"guilty\", and what it does for you to engage in \"random acts of kindness\". What a fascinating journey this could be for you. Best wishes.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I panicked over a minor parking lot mistake. It was totally my fault, but due to another insurance issue, I left a note with an illegible phone number. Guilty over this, I got an envelope containing several hundred dollars. Unfortunately, by the time I returned, the other driver had seen my ersatz note and drove away. Since I cannot make this up to that individual, how do I atone for my cowardly act? I have been trying to do random acts of kindness in hopes that karma will somehow even out."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2390
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.\u00a0 ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2391
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Here are some things I'm wondering:Do you have close friends that you can talk to, trust, and who can be around sometimes when you're in between relationships?What do you like about yourself? What are your strongest points?Do you think you have been in relationships with controlling than in the past because it makes you feel as though you are worth something to them?What kind of relationship you want to be in?What are the top three or four attributes of the type of partner you want?What can you do to make yourself emotionally safe during your typical daily activities?Can you notice a list of things that you can control throughout a typical day? For example, you probably choose what to wear, what to eat, how to talk to others, how committed you are to school or work, etc.It also sounds as if it may be helpful to discover more about yourself in addition to what you look for in a partner.As far as emotional abuse, it may be useful to develop communication skills that you could use prior to their relationship progressing to the point that it is emotional abuse.Thank you for reaching out to ask questions. If the questions that I've asked here are difficult for you to answer or are overwhelming, talking with a local therapist would probably be something I would suggest.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I want a secure relationship with someone that wants to be with me and who will actually put effort into it.\r\nI seem to gravitate toward unavailable men and those that want intimacy and no relationship. I let men dictate and control me because they accuse me of being controlling. I let men emotionally abuse me and I am at their beck and call.\r\nI am not comfortable being alone or doing anything by myself. I feel I need the security of someone being around just to survive. I know what I'm doing wrong and I do it anyway just hoping things will change. How do I stop this behavior and thought process?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2392
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Imagine your best friend just told you that her husband lied to her all the time and that he had broken every promise he ever made to her. What would you tell her? If I were her best friend I'd tell her to run the other way.\u00a0You may love this man. We don't choose who we love. But the evidence is pretty clear, isn't it?\u00a0A healthy relationship cannot be built on a foundation of lies and broken promises. I believe that as adults, we are always treated as well as we insist on being treated by our partners. If you continue to accept unacceptable behavior, you are likely to see lots more of it.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I\u2019m trying to make marriage work after a split. Before our split, he lied a lot and broke every promise to me. I don't think he cheated. Last month, I asked what women work with him, so he told me. Yesterday, I found out about a girl that he said he forgot about. Should I be upset?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2393
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% \"there.\" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\u00a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\u00a0Mindfulness of \"what already is\" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action.. \u00a0\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2394
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. You may be right, your physical symptoms of getting sick to your stomach\u00a0may very well be your nerves or anxiety. That is totally normal and understandable given your circumstances. Another thing that is not unusual is that you feel better when you sit and rock. That is actually a fairly common way that many people comfort themselves in times of high stress. If you are concerned that there is an actual physical illness causing these symptoms, you may want to visit your primary care provider. They may tell you that they don't see anything physically wrong with you, and at that point you may want to visit a counselor about the symptoms and your relationship experience. A visit with a counselor may be a good idea either way. I work as a counselor in primary care, and I promise you that many people have very real physical symptoms when they have gone through abuse. Unexplainable stomach and headaches are very common. Sometimes, with counseling, those physical symptoms actually stop. Be well, and I hope you feel better soon.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I had to put a restraining order against my ex-fianc\u00e9. He was served last night. He was mentally and verbally abusive towards me. I thought it was my nerves, but every time I stand up, I get sick. If I sit and rock, I'm fine."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2395
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would ask you first what made you give him another chance after he repeatedly lied and broke every promise to you? \u00a0I would imagine if he repeatedly lied to you that it will damage your ability to trust him now. \u00a0Is he in therapy? Does he recognize that he has a problem and is he trying to repair it? \u00a0Even if he truly forgot to tell you about the woman at work I think the real issue here is TRUST. \u00a0I am not saying that he doesn't have a lying problem. \u00a0Instead of asking someone else if you should be upset, ask yourself how you truly feel about him and this situation. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I\u2019m trying to make marriage work after a split. Before our split, he lied a lot and broke every promise to me. I don't think he cheated. Last month, I asked what women work with him, so he told me. Yesterday, I found out about a girl that he said he forgot about. Should I be upset?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2396
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "if he as cheated on you multiple times it is not healthy for you to continue seeing him. \u00a0However\u00a0It takes time to heal your pain. You are not a robot that can just switch off your emotions.\u00a0 Please surround yourself with people who can support and empower you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I broke up. He cheated on me numerous times. I kept forgiving but questioning his every move. He got tired and left."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2397
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Have an honest and open conversation with her about how her behavior is negatively impacting you ( and others). \u00a0You will feel good knowing you did the right thing. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "She has lied about every aspect of her life. She's created three fake relationships. The most recent one is concerning because she has fake photos, phone calls, and text messages, and it\u2019s with a married man with kids. Her lying is becoming dangerous because she could ruin lives."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2398
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. I know that workplaces have some latitude when it comes to requiring certain behaviors from their employees. For example, they may require you to tell them if you get into some kind of legal trouble. But this situation seems completely different. For one thing, 12 step meetings are supposed to be anonymous. I am not sure how they would know that you attended unless you or someone else told them. I agree that it seems like to cross a line. Usually each state has an office that manages complaints related to employment, such as the Department of Labor or EEOC. You may want to see which entity is in your state and contact them. It would be worth asking them to see if this is a legal practice. If it is but you still want/need to stay at this job, then you may want to look for alternate sources of support for your sobriety. There are active online support groups that would allow you to do things from the privacy of your home. SMART Recovery http://www.smartrecovery.org/ is a website that many people like. There are also online groups that specifically discuss the 12 steps. No matter what, I give you a lot of credit for doing your best to keep your sobriety and continuing to see the value in having support. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC ", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "This is my recovery, and I don't feel that it is okay for them to ask this. They told me it is policy due to the fact that I may run into a peer there. I am a peer counselor in the small community that I grew up in. I am in recovery myself. I was asked to come work for this organization after I was two years sober (I was in treatment in this organization). I work with mental health peers and run life skill groups. I don't work with substance peers."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2399
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Divorce is a serious, life altering decision.It is best to decide any serious matter through reflection and discussion.Start by knowing what you want from the marriage and why you are willing to move in or out of your own house because your wife tells you to do this.Each of you would benefit from more clarity of what you expect and would like from each other.Does your wife want a boyfriend in addition to the marriage to you?Is she willing to drop the male contact?Does she care how you feel about her contact with the other guy?You need answers and knowledge about the definition of your marriage.Since there are many areas to open, all of which are filled with emotion, including pain, if you're not able to make satisfactory progress then a licensed couples therapist may be useful to you and your partner.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My wife and I got separated because I asked about her contact with a male friend of hers. The next day, she kicked me out.  She let me move back two days later. Yesterday, she said she wanted a divorce then quickly changed her mind. I asked if the other guy was a factor, but she says it's not my business."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2400
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This has to be very confusing.I wonder if the two of you would be able to have a conversation about what it is that she would like you to know about what happened yesterday and the day before so you know what message she wanted you to get out of all of that.I would also recommend seeing a local mental health professional. If you go yourself, you could at least discuss your marriage and your own thoughts and feelings about it. If you go together, I would suggest you see a therapist who specializes in couples.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My wife and I got separated because I asked about her contact with a male friend of hers. The next day, she kicked me out.  She let me move back two days later. Yesterday, she said she wanted a divorce then quickly changed her mind. I asked if the other guy was a factor, but she says it's not my business."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2401
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. First, I want you to know that you are certainly not alone on this issue.\u00a0Everyone, at\u00a0some point in time, has a fear of public embarrassment. But for many\u00a0people, this fear can become\u00a0so awful that it begins to\u00a0have a real negative impact on their quality of life.\u00a0\u00a0They will\u00a0try to avoid any situation that they even THINK will cause them embarrassment or anxiety. Escaping a possible embarrassing moment by avoiding or isolating may cause some relief at first, but then many times the avoidance will eventually\u00a0lead to loneliness, isolation, and even despair. By avoiding, we can also miss out on things that make us feel alive and bring enjoyment. There are many self-help books that offer advice on this issue. You can do an internet search, and I recommend reading the reviews of the book. That is\u00a0 great way to find out if others have found the book helpful. Another option is to seek a counselor to help you with this fear.\u00a0I would recommend a counselor who specializes in helping people who have anxiety or social anxiety. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is\u00a0 a good choice for helping with anxiety, but there are many others. The truth is that anxiety and fear of embarrassing ourselves is not something that any of us will ever \"get over\", but we can learn to respond to those feelings differently. A colleague may offer some other advice, as well.. Be wellRobin Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "A lot of times, I avoid situations where I am to meet new people because I have a fear of embarrassing myself. I often avoid large groups of people, like parties, because I think they all constantly judge me."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2402
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Anyone who asks whether or not they have a problem, usually feels at least partly, that they do have a problem.Your answer to the question is what matters.Since you already understand that your reaction is overstated to the events which trigger them, the reactions you're having are more than likely anger that is leftover from past events, either in the near or distant past.Be aware, consider, reflect on \u00a0how you usually handle feeling angry. \u00a0Based on your description here, it is quite likely that the anger you show toward what you call \"little things\" reflect anger at much bigger matters that are uncomfortable and not easy to understand.Knowing more about the more significant matters causing frustration for you, may very likely decrease reacting angrily toward smaller matters.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Sometime when small thing happen, like losing a comb, I get furious.  I even start throwing things. Do I have a problem?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2403
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It's ultimately your decision whether or not you go to see your mother. I'm not sure whether talking with her on the phone or through some videoconferencing application (such as Skype) would be something you could do in the meantime until you sort out what you want to do.Some things I wonder are:What makes the two of them not get along?What makes him feel threatened or on edge if you visit your mother without him? What does he think will happen?What is he getting out of trying to choose for you?What is he so afraid of?If you decide to talk about these things with your boyfriend, try to do the following:Consider using questions that start with the words who, what, where, when, and not why. The word why can be really difficult for some people to answer because the word itself triggers an emotional reaction.Try to ask him if the two of you can discuss this in a way that you can just ask more questions about what he is experiencing. If you can listen without being defensive about what you think and feel, you may understand more about where you boyfriend is coming from.Remember that understanding what he means does not mean that you have to agree with what he is saying.Maybe he would be willing to listen to what you are experiencing and ask questions about that as you did for him. It would be good to do this in a way similar to what an investigative reporter would do and asking questions that cannot be answered in a yes or no format and require more information.I'm sure this is putting you in a very tough place. If you would like to talk to someone more directly about the details, consider seeing a local mental health professional.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend and I have been arguing every night about the same thing. He also tells me that if I  go visit my mother out of state he will be gone when I get back.  He and my mother do not get along. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2404
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I don't like the word \"problem\".\u00a0 It is such a strong word.\u00a0 However I would say that you have an issue that needs to be addressed and controlled before it directed at the wrong person and gets totally out of control.\u00a0 I have found that anger management classes has been helpful for my clients.\u00a0 Try and see if it will help.\u00a0 You will be surprised at what you learn about your self.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Sometime when small thing happen, like losing a comb, I get furious.  I even start throwing things. Do I have a problem?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2405
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \u00a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\u00a0people are in their own isolation, also called a \"mysterious isolation,\" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \u00a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\u00a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\u00a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \u00a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2406
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is your experience, your feeling and you are wondering if it is normal, which means is this common or the rule.\u00a0This question about how you feel about your third child leads me to believe you are dis- turbed [etymology: agitated or stirred up]. \u00a0Feelings are messages from our soul or spirit that something is not right. \u00a0So, though \u00a0it might be normal [common, the rule] \u00a0to look forward to a one year olds nap time when you have a three year old a nine year old, the dis- turbance or stirring up in you,\u00a0is important and requires your attention, your listening, if you will to your higher self. \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have three children. The oldest is nine and not my biological child. The middle child is three and the youngest is one. I have a great relationship with the oldest two children but I haven't developed the same level of attatchment to the youngest child. I rarely want her around and look forward to her nap times. Is this normal?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2407
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello, and thank you for your question. This is a very serious time. I don't mean to frighten you, but you are right to be concerned. The time right after people leave the hospital after receiving psychiatric services is a time of high risk for suicide. It is very important, after hospitalization,\u00a0to get\u00a0follow-up care with a professional as soon as possible. If your husband has an established therapist, this is the time to call. It is also a good time to alert your support system of friends, family, clergy or others to let them know he is still struggling. This is good support for him AND you.It is important to think about means and opportunity to make another attempt. Means really do matter.\u00a0 So, if you have a firearm in the home, it is really important to remove it. You can't remove all things that a person may hurt themselves with, but some things are more lethal than others. Firearms are very lethal. I am not sure what means he used last time, but try to reduce the opportunity for him to access it again. This is where your support system can help out. People can take turns hanging out with him until you are sure the crisis is over.If you believe that an attempt is going to occur, talk to your husband about going back to the hospital. If he refuses, you will want to find out what your options are to have him go even if he doesn't want to. I know the thought of that really hurts, but it can save his life. Calling 9-1-1 is always\u00a0a\u00a0good option if you are not sure. Usually a suicide crisis, meaning they want to harm themselves right now, lasts a few minutes, hours or days. Sometimes when you get them through the crisis stage, they no longer want to commit suicide. But, as you are indicating, that feeling of wanting to commit suicide can come back again. So, it is always good to have a plan. If you want more information, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They will always answer: 1-800-273-8255. They can help you create a specific safety plan. I do hope things work out alright. Be well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2408
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 The short answer to your question is \"No\" it's not okay for anyone to ever be doing this.\u00a0There's a lot of unanswered questions and other factors going on here that need attention. Nevertheless, don't hesitate to seek out legal counsel and/or call 911.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ideally, your\u00a0fianc\u00e9  would be able to speak directly to her ex-husband and set reasonable boundaries that honor whatever legal agreements are in force resultant from the divorce and custody agreements.  The fact that she's afraid to say anything to him about his inappropriate behavior, and that she hasn't been able to give you any reason for her fear, suggests possible factors of past abusive behaviors, entitlement, and/or co-dependence. \u00a0 I hope things work out well for all and I'm confident a skilled therapist could help all navigate how best to set boundaries and experience greater healing. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "he just walks in the house whenever he wants to see his kids. My fianc\u00e9 tells me it makes her angry and doesn't like it, but she seems afraid to say anything to him about it for some reason. Is it okay for him to do this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2409
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\u00a0\u00a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\u00a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful.  Now he is depressed and hopeless again."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2410
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "That's a great question. There is such a wide range of ways to define \"personality\" that it is difficult to identify specific characteristics that are used to identify personality types.That being said, some clinicians will use standardized tests (or assessments) to assess a client's type of personality. While these tests can't tell us everything about a person, they can help us understand where we are within larger groups of different personality styles.Some counselors will also use a diagnostic tool (like the DSM or ICD) to help a client understand a diagnosis that is related to a personality disorder.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How do therapists classify the type of personality their clients have?  What characteristics do they look at to decide what type of personality the client has? I've read about this online, but I'd like to understand this from a therapist's point of view."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2411
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "\u00a0 Thanks for sharing and asking for help.\u00a0 You mention that you're the one who ended the relationship in the past, yet are haunted by nightmares and flashbacks. Your comments here lead me to wonder that you may have experienced some form of trauma in this past relationship; and, if so, I would encourage you to additionally consider the whole of your story-line as it relates to trauma. Doing so will serve you well for your own peace-of-mind especially so in your current relationship.\u00a0 The best way to do all of this in a supportive fashion is to work with an experienced therapist who specializes in trauma-focused care. The therapist may, if indicated, wish to to incorporate EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) which \"...is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.\u00a0 Best wishes.Resource for Your Consideration:\u00a0http://www.emdr.com/", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2412
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is a great question, and I am happy to have the opportunity to explain my approach. When I am determining what type of personality a client has, I take my time and really absorb their lens/ point of view to themselves and others. Determining a personality type takes some time getting to know the person, and building rapport. After taking time to get to know them, and learning about their view they have of themselves and others, it is important to pick-up on more specific personality traits, which comprehensively contribute to a personality type. Clinicians, including myself, often witness certain traits that are enduring and consistent, which indicate a type of personality. For example, if a therapist is noticing that a client is exhibiting traits of organization, needing to be on time, planning, and perfectionism, these traits contribute to the \"type A personality\".\u00a0In addition to utilizing clinical judgment, clinicians often use personality assessments and follow the guidelines of the DSM-5/ ICD-10.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How do therapists classify the type of personality their clients have?  What characteristics do they look at to decide what type of personality the client has? I've read about this online, but I'd like to understand this from a therapist's point of view."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2413
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm glad you recognize your own best interest and that your life will be much better without verbal and emotional abuse.One of the terrible results of being abused in a relationship which is expected to be loving, safe and supportive, is that the one who is being abused, starts to question their own judgement, rights, opinions, overall way of thinking.This happens because partners who are intimately involved with one another are very meaningful. \u00a0Regardless of how irrational, wrong, mean, selfish, intimidating, thoughtless, a partner is to the other, the person on the receiving side gradually starts questioning whether they are wrong for not accepting these sorts of interactions.Stick with what your own intuition tells you.There is a part within each of us which knows the truth of what is going on.Leaving a relationship is always difficult to some degree. \u00a0People are in familiar patterns of daily behavior, no one wants to suddenly \"be alone\", even if this only means showing up as a physical body, not as a truly loving partner, no one wants to start telling others about a breakup, answer questions about it, feel blamed, worry what others think.These are secondary matters to following the truth in your own heart.Listen to yourself about leaving this guy. Your inner self does not lie to you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend  and I have a toxic relationship due to his emotional and verbal abuse but he makes me feel like I could never find someone better, and that I can't be happy without him.\r\n\r\nHow do I get away from this relationship?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2414
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The world needs more people lately who have such a high degree of empathy which you describe in yourself!If it feels a little burdensome, then look to balance what is too much with its opposite. \u00a0Since you're giving a lot of empathy, maybe you'd like receiving a lot of empathy.In the situation you describe, when you start empathizing with others, real or cartoon, ask yourself whether you've felt empathy coming in your direction lately.Often people give to others what they feel within themselves is missing.The emotional brain reasons that if I give you my support, say, then at least I will feel half of what being supported is like.Obviously the wish to receive more empathy cannot be fulfilled by you directly. \u00a0Empathy is delivered by someone who is willing to offer it.Reflect on whether you are allowing those who are in your world, to know when you would like to receive their empathy.Is it possible you keep your feelings to yourself and present as though you are able to handle a great deal more than you'd like to handle without anyone's kindness to support you?Being open to others about your own inner thoughts and feelings is much more difficult than it sounds.It sounds easy to just tell someone how you feel.Sometimes the first step is the most difficult, of accessing how you feel.Start with knowing the amount of empathy you'd like from others and what stops you from asking.Also, about your diagnosis and the lack of \u00a0studies and lists and formulas. \u00a0Each person is unique, the instructions and guidelines don't necessarily mean very much. \u00a0Often having a diagnosis makes a person feel weak, stigmatized, incompetent.\u00a0Forget the diagnosis and concentrate on what you need to do differently in order to feel better.The answers are inside you, not inside a book or website.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I empathize so much, even with characters on tv or in video games, that I actually feel physical pain. This has made life difficult to say the least.\r\n\r\nI believe I have an actually case of something called hyper empathy disorder. But since it's such a new disorder I can't find any information about it. Could this be what is going on with me?"}


