# embeddings_queue

created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2655
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the \"in crowd.\" Here's a \"secret\" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line (https://teenlineonline.org/). It helped me when I was in my teens, and has helped lots of other teens as well. You might find a place to get some referrals to other local services in your area. If you want are in Washington state and would like to connect with me directly, you call link to me via my profile page. Or perhaps finding a counselor in your local area might be useful. Most towns and cities have some form of low cost counseling. You might also check with your school for assistance.Don't be afraid of not always knowing how you are supposed to feel. Adults don't always have a handle on it either. Being a teenager carries a lot stress, fear, and uncertainty. But you are not alone, and there is help if you reach out for it. I wish for you the very best, and bright future.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my late teens and live with my dad.  The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. \r\n\r\nSometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\r\n\r\nAre they right, am I depressed?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2656
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I am so sorry for your loss. \u00a0Generally therapists only have a duty to report self harm to ones self or others if it is expressed to them. \u00a0Often times they will not report relapses due to the fact that proper releases were not signed or patient has specifically asked them not to for fear of shaming or failure again. \u00a0I understand this may not be the answer you were hoping for. \u00a0I would encourage the family to seek therapy themselves for help coping with such a loss.\u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a relative who is in his twenties.  He was in a drug rehabilitation program and got kicked out for using drugs again. No one informed family that he was using drugs again.  He subsequently overdosed and was found dead.\r\nIs their accountability of counselors, therapists or the halfway house for not reporting that he had relapsed? Is there a legal case for failing to report?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2657
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It can be very frustrating being lied to. \u00a0The one thing that struck me was the sentence he had a alcohol addiction \"in the past.\" \u00a0Addiction is not something that comes and goes. \u00a0Once you have addict tendencies they are here to stay. \u00a0You may be able to fight them off for awhile but the will enviably rear their ugly head again. \u00a0Some of the things that we would suggest is taking the access away. \u00a0If the alcohol is not conveniently in the house he would have to go seek it out elsewhere. \u00a0You can think about it in other terms. \u00a0If chocolate cake was your favorite food and you were a diabetic, you would not have chocolate cake lying around all the time because you know you would eventually eat it. \u00a0Remember there are no temporary addicts.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband has had issues with alcohol addiction in the past (he'd never admit to this). A while back (3 years ago), I asked him to stop drinking so much, and he agreed. I caught him one night drinking behind my back. I confronted him and he lied, but I told him I knew he was lying because I counted the beers in the fridge and four of them were missing. He admitted and apologized and promised he wouldn't do it again. Lately, my husband has been drinking on and off, but I noticed it was every single night. I didn't like this. For our New Year\u2019s resolution, we decided we were going to limit our alcohol consumption. He was on board\u2014no more drinking every night.\r\nThe other night, I counted the beers in the fridge just to see if some were missing. It took a couple of days, but tonight, I discovered a few were missing along with a shot of vodka. He was passed out on the couch when I decided to wake him up and confront him (poor timing, but I couldn't wait). I asked him if he'd come to bed with me (when he drinks, he snores and I cannot sleep\u2014it's a dead giveaway he's been drinking). He slurred a bit and said no. I asked if he had been drinking, but he snapped and said no. I went into our room to sleep, leaving him on the couch. \r\nI'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not. I just feel like I'm so honest with him about everything, and I expect the same honesty. He is a good husband in every other regard."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2658
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You are not hopeless, as you can see there are many people who care about your well being and believe you can overcome this. \u00a0I would suggest that you first get evaluated for your alcohol consumption. \u00a0Alcohol is one of the addictions that you may need to seek inpatient treatment for. \u00a0If not inpatient then be monitored by a doctor. \u00a0Once you are evaluated and or complete inpatient treatment I would suggest you participate in a form of outpatient therapy on a consistent basis. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I have bipolar II disorder, I'm addicted to alcohol and weed, and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2659
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There are plenty of online providers within the mental health field that would me more than happy to speak with you immediately. \u00a0Many of them provide treatment on a sliding scale fee. \u00a0I would google online mental health treatment providers and that should lead you to a list of providers that can help you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I need to speak to someone about sexual addiction and binge eating immediately."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2660
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Your dad needs to be aware that he has a problem and be willing to make some changes in order for him to be motivated to stop. \u00a0Often times individuals will be forced to stop when they were not ready. \u00a0Remember we can not ever make someone do something they do not want to do. \u00a0There needs to be at least a little willingness on the other party to make some changes. \u00a0I would encourage you to reach out to your family or other loved ones and have a conversation with your dad regarding your concerns.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Or how to send him somewhere that can help him, something like The Baker Act."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2661
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \u00a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \u00a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \u00a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \u00a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \u00a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \u00a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \u00a0Smoking cessation is a good resource. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental.\r\n\r\nI cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2662
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would look at \u00a0getting engaged with a support network of individuals who may also have autistic children. \u00a0They will understand some of the things that you are experiencing at home and you may also find someone who feels that same way as you. If you have not sought professional counseling for the abusive relationship I would seek out a therapist who can help you process through it so you do not repeat similar choices in your next relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him.  I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people.\r\n\r\nHow can I feel more comfortable around other people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2663
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "A good therapist will discuss what brought you to therapy in the first place and devise a therapy plan with you on some of the things that you may want to work on. \u00a0The plan is not set in stone as things may arise during your therapy sessions. You also agree on how often and when you would like to meet.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "After first meeting the client, what is the process that a counselor facilitates?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2664
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You are describing a very legitimate reaction to trauma. \u00a0Rape is an aweful experience and I am very sorry that happened to you. \u00a0When horrible things happen, people often react in a way that interferes with the ability to live a normal life and function the way they did in the past. \u00a0This is very common and the goal is to help you manage the stress caused by dealing with negative events and with help you can regain emotional well-being. \u00a0This is especially important if you have had more than one negative thing happen. \u00a0Oftentimes, the unconscious reaction is to become numb and avoid all feelings, especially if more than one negative event occurred. \u00a0A big part of what causes people trouble are feelings of guilt. \u00a0We often blame ourselves when bad things happen. It is actually difficult to comprehend the concept that we don't always have control of what happens in life. \u00a0In addition, when you mentioned feeling like a sociopath, it sounded like you feel like your reaction is wrong. \u00a0The first thing you can do is realize that your feelings and reactions are o.k., you aren't doing anything wrong, and nothing is wrong with you. \u00a0The next step is to start dealing with the impact of these traumatic experiences. Identifying your feelings, and knowing the thoughts and beliefs that are behind those emotions can help you regain your sense of happiness. \u00a0Research shows that understanding and expressing those thoughts and feelings can help. \u00a0If doesn't sound like you need to do anything to change yourself, but talking to a counselor can be helpful in managing your reaction to a incredibly traumatic experience. \u00a0I hope this helps you understand your feelings and can get to a place where you enjoy life. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2665
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "That is a really tough situation that a lot of young people are experiencing right now.  The first thing to under is that you can\u2019t change who your parents are and cannot change their behavior.  The thing to keep in mind is that you can control your responses and actions. \u00a0You may need to keep living at home with them for the next few months or years and the best way to do this is to have a plan. The second thing is to keep in mind that their controlling behavior is most likely not about based your behavior.  Controlling parents are often driven by their concept of what will keep their children safe and happy.  Unfortunately this is not always accurate but keep in mind it is not a personal attack. \u00a0There are ways you can deal with controlling parents \u2013 and most of them require creating a plan of action.Examples of action plans:Decide in advance how you\u2019ll calmly and rationally respond to your parents when you feel they\u2019re trying to control youArrange to phone a friend or trusted adult when you feel like you\u2019re losing controlTalk in person to an adult you trust. There aren\u2019t any quick tips on how to deal with parents who want to control you; you need to find strategies that are geared to your specific family situation.  Get specific coping tips from books about family dynamics, such as:Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan ForwardCutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents by Howard HalpernA counselor can be a good resource and provide support and guidance about issues addressing normal growth and development during periods of transition.  ", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\r\n\r\nMy mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2666
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \u00a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental.\r\n\r\nI cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2667
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Goodbyes can be hard.\r\nChances are most of the goodbyes you have experienced in your life have been\r\ndifficult. Saying goodbye to a therapist can be different. It can be an\r\nopportunity to create a healthy ending in a positive relationship in your life.\r\nIf you work with a therapist who is skilled, then saying goodbye can be just as\r\ntransformative as the therapy itself. Ending therapy is also known\r\nas \u201ctermination.\u201d I know, \u201ctermination\u201d doesn\u2019t have a great ring to it!\r\nHowever, it is what it is. It is an ending of the relationship as it existed.\r\nIt is reality cold and stark. Of course, when I talk to clients I don\u2019t use the\r\nword \u201ctermination,\u201d I usually say \u201cour goodbye.\u201d \u00a0Under what circumstances does therapy usually\r\nend? Therapy should end when a client does not need further assistance, is not\r\nreceiving any benefit from therapy, or might be harmed by continuing to work\r\nwith a particular therapist.In the best case scenario\r\nthe decision to move on from therapy and \u201csay our goodbyes\u201d happens when both\r\nthe therapist and the client feel like the client is ready to move on and move\r\nup!\u00a0 Ending the therapeutic relationship\r\nshould actually be worked on from the very first session. What I mean by that\r\nis, there should be an understanding that the work we do together will have an\r\nending and that is a good thing because it means the client has gained the\r\nskills to continue working on themselves independently. So the first session I\r\nhave with clients usually outlines a plan where the end goal is discussed and\r\nwe both have an understanding of the skills the client wants to learn or what\r\nthey hope to achieve. Now sometimes there are\r\nsituations where the therapist ends the relationship and the client may take\r\nthat personally, it is hard when any relationship ends and it might bring up\r\nfeelings of sadness, and fear or abandonment. Any good therapist will end the\r\nrelationship based on what is right for the client. What are some situations\r\nwhere a therapist might end the relationship?If the situation the client\r\nis dealing with is out of the therapist's scope of practice, the therapist may\r\nend the relationship and refer the client to someone else. This is in the\r\nclient\u2019s best interest. Another reason a therapist might end the relationship\r\nis that the therapist is in a place in her life which prevents her from being\r\nobjective and helpful.\u00a0 A therapist who\r\nis going through a painful divorce may have difficulty working with a couple\r\nthat considering divorce. A good therapist may see that their judgement may be\r\nclouded and want to refer the client to see someone else. This is good practice\r\nand helps the client.If a client is actively\r\nsuicidal or actively using substances then the therapist may end the\r\nrelationship and refer out for a higher level of care. The client may need to\r\nbe hospitalized or may need an inpatient substance abuse treatment program.\r\nTherapy may be terminated while they are being treated and may continue after\r\nthe intensive program is completed.\u00a0\nEnding therapy should be a\r\ntime for connection and bringing together accomplishments, or reviewing the\r\nnext important step the client needs to take. It should not be an experience of\r\nabandonment. A skilled therapist will help a client gain a new perspective on\r\nclosure. For some clients, it may be the one time in their lives when they get\r\na clean ending in a healthy relationship and they get to feel a sense of\r\ncontrol on creating that ending.\u00a0Good luck to you!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2668
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \u00a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \u00a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \u00a0\u00a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \u00a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental.\r\n\r\nI cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2669
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Where do you go and what is your reason to go wherever this is?Try to understand these reasons because the answers may give you good guidance as to other ways to get what \u00a0 it is your trying to reach by sneaking from your home at night.If for example, you're sneaking out because your parents are arguing and you feel hurt by this and want to escape hearing their arguments, then you can come up with other ways to hear less of their arguments.If you sneak out bc your parents restrict your friends or time to socialize with your friends, and your friends are doing legal and safe behaviors, then maybe you could do some socializing online w them.Also, I wonder the reason why either of your parents isn't aware that you leave the house. \u00a0Do you feel your parent would offer and would you ask your parent to give their suggestions so you feel more motivated to stay home?", "response_type": "Question", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a teenager and I've been sneaking out of my house at night for a year now. I've been caught several times.  I want to stop doing this but I don't know where to start. How do I stop?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2670
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Those \u00a0critical thoughts most likely came into your mind as the way you understood what one of your parents or some other adult who was very meaningful to you, at a very young age.When we are too young to distinguish whether what a grown person tells us, feels accurate, we absorb their opinions as our own.Your question shows you've reached the point of emotional maturity to know that your opinion about yourself is not the same as what is inside your emotional brain and stored there since you were too young to know that someone else's opinions are not necessarily your opinions.Nothing is wrong with you, everything is right with you to wonder how to more firmly establish your own point of view.Start the habit to revise any viewpoints about yourself which don't feel true.Then replace these thoughts with better ones which you decide on your own.After a while of doing this you'll either automatically think the more positive thoughts about yourself or at least be in the habit to know that negative viewpoints about you are not necessarily true.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want.  Things like \"you aren't worth anything.\"  I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.\r\n\r\nWhat is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2671
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\u00a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental.\r\n\r\nI cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2672
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. It sounds like you and your parents are not balanced in your communication and awareness\u00a0of\u00a0expectations. Your growth is not only reflected in your ability to understand and apply new knowledge and skills, it is also reflective of your parents acceptance of your understanding and application. Have you tried talking with your parents to let them know your concerns?This talking is best when face to face and during non active conflict ( can't begin stating rules during an argument, etc). Sometimes it is even helpful to write down ways you feel you can be supported by them\u00a0and supportive to them. Maybe share this list or reflective piece with\u00a0them to review, or use when communicating the expectations. Unfortunately, until there are clear expectations stated and expressed, the scale will be uneven and frustrations will increase. Dr. T", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\r\n\r\nMy mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2673
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "To be bullied is very painful.I'm glad you know the bullies are doing the wrong thing and whatever they are telling you is pure meanness.Depending on how independent you feel, why not tell either your classroom teacher or schedule an appointment with the vice principal?Bullying other students is taken very seriously in some states and schools are expected to address the bullying until the victimized student feels safe.If you hesitate to do this on your own, then would you ask either of your parents or even a friend of yours who is also in the school, to report the problem?In case you are afraid the bullies will retaliate for reporting them, then tell this to whatever school authority you decide to ask for help.You're entitled to be protected by your school.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.\r\n\r\nHow can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2674
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. I have to wonder from a behavioral perspective if what you are doing is useful for you. In other words, does it serve a purpose in some way when you find yourself doing it. Yes, this could well be an expression of anxiety, or maybe some type of coping skill you have developed over the years to deal with stressful situations. Yet it sounds like you have developed a sort of knee-jerk behavioral conditioning that causes you to do this behavior during specific (or perhaps even non-specific) circumstances. Do you think it is a self-soothing behavior? Do you feel good after you have done it? The behavior itself is likely causing some form of slow physical damage, so I would recommend you have yourself checked by a doctor, to rule out any injury. If none exists, this obviously doesn't excuse the behavior, it just says that for the moment luck is on your side.When we do any behavior of any kind, it is good to ask if what we are doing has merit or value. Is the behavior helping us to solve our problem, or is it merely creating yet another problem by doing the behavior in the first place. In the same way that a person might drink excessively because they are stressed and need to cope with some unresolved issue, when they are done drinking the original problem will still likely be there, but now they are intoxicated. No closer to solving the issue. When we deal with things like anxiety or depression, we need to do things that work on dealing with the symptoms, but also get to the root issue that created those feelings and find effective solutions. So the things we do to cope with life events need to not be ones that cause us harm, but rather support us as we move forward and work to deal with what life throws at us.Sometimes seeking support from a friend or a counselor is a good idea. Being given the opportunity to express your feelings about what is going on around you and getting feedback and insight from others is much more effective than actions of self-harm, wouldn't you agree? So I would encourage you to find a counselor or a trusted friend who can help you find positive behaviors you can take to deal with your feelings, as you also work to find the answers to the day to day issues of living a life filled with promise and opportunity.Reach out if you need help...there will likely be a hand there waiting for you.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young.  I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, \r\n\r\nI have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. \r\n\r\nHow can I help myself to change my behavior?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2675
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "One theory is that instead of \"fighting\" your feelings, accept your sad feelings and work with them. \u00a0 Feeling sad may open many doors to reflect and make peace with the source of your sadness.Also, I believe fighting against the natural cycle of rest and hibernation may not even be possible to succeed. \u00a0 Winter for most creatures is a time of withdrawal and slowdown. \u00a0Our bodies and moods are part of nature as well. \u00a0Fighting what is part of nature seems like a tiring fight which the person will lose.Last point, there are the winter holidays to break up the dark and cold of winter. \u00a0 Maybe you can invent some of your own winter celebrations so you'll have a few gatherings to look forward to hosting.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather.  How can I fight this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2676
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Life sounds extremely frustrating for you right now.As long as you've reached your conclusion that your parents do not take you seriously when you would like to speak with them on a serious topic, and that you feel unable to trust either of them, then work with your own information.Many people don't know how to listen and aren't trustworthy. \u00a0As painful and aggravating as having parents who fit this description, you're better off to honor what you realize than to continue fighting what is not in your hands to change.Since you write about having a similar problem with friends, then maybe this comes about because you pick friends who are similarly unsatisfying to be with as are your parents.The first step out of this dilemma would be to accept how crummy you feel about the way your parents are toward you.If you're able to live with the sadness and resentment of having parents who don't want to know how to understand you, then you'll start to develop a new and more satisfying definition of what you expect from the behaviors of your friends.Trust yourself that what you feel and see is accurate, then it becomes easier to trust and welcome new people who are formatted differently than either your parents or your friends who sound very similar to your parents' ways.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\u2019t believe me, then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\u2019t believe me either. I\u2019m a pansexual, but I can\u2019t trust my own parents.\r\nI've fought depression and won; however, stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems, which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine, when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2677
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The answer depends on what State you live.Since the description you write here is that your brother may be a serious risk to himself and others, it is worth contacting a mental health hotline or one of your local area hospitals and talk to a social worker or other professional level person in their psychiatry department. \u00a0Ask the same question you posted here. \u00a0 Your question is a good one and merits serious follow through.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in 12 degree weather.\r\n\r\nI was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. \r\n\r\nDo I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2678
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you are trying to find a label to help you to understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling. \u00a0Sometimes there are no labels for how we feel. \u00a0Sometimes there is no name for the emotions that we are experiencing. Regardless, you do not have to continue to feel this way, no matter what you call it. \u00a0If you are seeking to experience an internal calmness such as your external calmness, you may want to try some mindfulness practices or meditation. \u00a0However, being able to get at the root cause of what you are feeling may be what you need to help you release this feeling for the long term. \u00a0I recommend seeking support for this to allow this internal screaming to get some air and begin to breathe.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I feel like I am internally screaming all the time. Externally, I am calm, but I have this intense, unidentifiable emotion constantly. I don't feel sad. I don't cry a lot. I feel rather emotionally distant other than the internal screaming. It kind of feels like I'm a caged animal."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2679
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First off, there is nothing wrong with you. \u00a0In fact, having random thoughts we feel we cannot control is actually quite common and normal. \u00a0Sometimes our thoughts think they are protecting us (if we think we aren't worth anything, it won't hurt when we get rejected) but they are actually doing quite the opposite. \u00a0They are keeping us \"stuck\" and creating a self-prophization. \u00a0(If I think I am not worth anything, I don't have to try, and I will keep proving to myself that I am not worth anything). \u00a0There are many techniques to work through and start to change our negative self-talk. \u00a0There are actually many self-help workbooks that can help with this as well. \u00a0A technique I like to use is meditation or mindfulness. \u00a0This can teach us to accept our thoughts (not fight them) and then learn to let them go. \u00a0Release the power they have on us. \u00a0If we can learn to release these and not ruminate on them, this will give us the space to allow more positive and supportive thoughts to come in. \u00a0Mantras can help with this as well (I AM worth a lot, I AM important, I have value). \u00a0Saying these to yourself everyday over and over (even if at first you don't believe) can retrain our brains to believe it (and allow us to believe it). \u00a0I have even wrote positive mantras to myself in my bathroom mirror so I am forced to look at these throughout the day.Please remember to not be hard on yourself as you begin to attempt to change the automatic thought patterns. \u00a0It took a while for you to get where you are and it will take a while for this change to kick in and feel normal. \u00a0So allow the process to happen slowly and allow yourself to accept you as the amazing and brave person you are. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want.  Things like \"you aren't worth anything.\"  I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.\r\n\r\nWhat is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2680
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Speaking with a licensed therapist will help you figure out if indeed you have a problem or not. \u00a0I would say the first question you should ask yourself is why you are drinking? The second would be why you feel the need to drink in excess? It may be due to a life event or the crowd you are running with. \u00a0Either way a therapist will be able to help you through this as you already made the first step in admitting you are having a difficult time.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm a female in my mid 20s.  Lately I tend to over drink and I've become a very angry drunk. \r\n\r\nIn the past, I have even cheated on my boyfriend while I was under the influence of alcohol. \r\n\r\nBut now, even if I don't do anything wrong and don't embarrass myself, I still feel really guilty after a night of drinking. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Does this mean I have a problem?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2681
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would first suggest you sitting down with him and voicing your concerns about how distant he has been, or more importantly you have felt that he is. \u00a0This will give clarification to the situation as we need to remember that everyone's perception can be different. Remember that relationships take work and take communication.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend is in recovery from drug addiction. We recently got into a fight and he has become very distant.  I don't know what to do to fix the relationship."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2682
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I think it is important that you are able to convey what you are looking for in a therapist even if that changes over time. \u00a0You need to look at it like you are interviewing the counselor and that they will be able to provide you with the therapy you need. \u00a0To many times we do not know and it ends up not being a good fit and then people are left with a bad experience and do not want to re-engage. \u00a0Remembering you are basically hiring someone to help you so I would treat it as such. Do some research and be clear as to why you are coming to therapy and ask questions as how they will be able to help you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How does a person start the counseling process?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2683
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I think the best thing for you is to speak with someone on how you can best cope with the situation. \u00a0It can be challenging living in a household with someone who is currently addicted. \u00a0It is also important that you realize that you can only work on yourself. \u00a0Other individuals need to take the same accountability. \u00a0Enabling often happens in households with addiction. It can be a challenging environment to live in. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My brother has been a heroin addict for years, and he\u2019s now in his mid-30s. He has taken from me my mom and my grandparents. He's sick in the head. Now he moved his girlfriend into the house because they both manipulated us. Today, my mom and my brother went toe-to-toe over his girlfriend not helping around the house and always being high. I ended up hitting my brother for getting so close to my mom's face. I feel terrible, but he's always picking his girlfriend over us. Mind you, he tells other girls that he hates his girlfriend, he's single, and she's only living here because he feels bad. We tried kicking them out and everything, but nothing is working. They do nothing to try and help."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2684
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Unfortunately I think most of us have heard this, so you are not alone. \u00a0If you are still under her roof she has leverage as to what her expectations are while you are living there. \u00a0I would consider therapy for the both of you to see if there could be a middle ground that could be agreed upon. \u00a0Often times a 3rd party can help with conflict. \u00a0If there is no resolution then I would look to get creative in finding a place of your own.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\r\n\r\nMy mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2685
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Blaming others is one of our greatest coping mechanisms. \u00a0It is not just for addiction, and often we blame the ones closest to us. \u00a0You can not stop them from blaming you, you can stop yourself for taking on the burden. \u00a0We are all in charge of the choices we make. \u00a0No one makes us do something other than our self. \u00a0We choose how we internalize and react to situations. \u00a0I would find a good therapist who understands family dynamics and addiction to help you cope with your current environment and help you move forward. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have three children: a biological daughter, a stepdaughter, and a stepson. I found out my stepdaughter overdosed today. My daughter blames me. I told her to stay out of it. I'm scared of all three kids now. They all blame me for their choices they made. All three have drug addictions. I had a stroke in 2013 so I need to depend on people from now on."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2686
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would suggest having a conversation with your dad and then having a conversation as a family with your stepmom. \u00a0Usually there are other signs of use that can often be missed. \u00a0Be aware of behavior changes and mood swings. \u00a0Be supportive and ready to listen often times individuals suffering from addiction will deny use until they are ready for help.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "She's my stepmom. I'm pretty sure she's illegally buying the drugs and hiding them from my dad."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2687
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First I am so sorry for your loss. \u00a0Most people go through the grieving process. \u00a0I would get a better understanding of what that process is. \u00a0Everyone has their own way of handling loss. \u00a0You are taking the first step in realizing that you are having a difficult time coping with it. \u00a0I would reach out to a therapist that has experience treatment patients with loss. I would also recognize that drinking and smoking are both substances that will not make depression or depressive thoughts any better. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I recently lost a friend to suicide.  I'm smoking marijuana and drinking more to cope with it. How can I handle this better?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2688
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Your friend needs to admit they have a problem. \u00a0If not no matter how many pills you take they will find a way to get more. \u00a0It is also a federal offense to take someone else's medication so if you did take it she could have you arrested. \u00a0In other instances it can be more dangerous to take medication away than slowly tapering off of them. \u00a0Like anything we put into our system our tolerance builds up and can effect us in different ways. \u00a0I would listen to her and discuss why she feels that she needs to be on the medications rather than playing bad cop in this situation. \u00a0Encourage her to get help and let her know you re there for her.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My friend is abusing her prescription medicine. Even though she told me she didn't have any more pills, I found she has prescriptions for anxiety medications."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2689
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Studies have proven that addiction affects the brain, there are many coping skills that addicts use to enable their addiction as well. \u00a0I would recommend that you speak with someone abut your relationship and your concerns. \u00a0Not only so you can have more clarity in the situation but we often tend to gravitate around or toward the same types of individuals. \u00a0Being more aware of your relationship will help you in the future when re-engaging in personal relationships.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend and I recently broke up. One week, we were fine, and the next, he told me he needed space. He completely deleted me out of his life. He does have an opiate addiction. He claimed he was sober, but since we've split, I've heard many lies from him. Could he be using again, and does this addiction affect the mind?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2690
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The most important thing to ask yourself here is, \"how did this action affect my relationship, and is it worth the consequences?\" Regardless of your intentions in this action, your boyfriend is uncomfortable with this type of behavior. From here, we can objectively decide if spending time with your previous partner (because that is likely what your boyfriend sees them as) is worth harming the relationship you currently have. It is very rare that a person would be comfortable with their partner spending more than a very little amount of time with their exes. Many times, it just gives the wrong impressions. It is very possible that your partner may believe that since you spend so much time with them, that they are still a contender for the most intimate relationship you have to offer, and truth be told, they kind of are. The best intimate relationships, are friendships first and foremost.\u00a0It is also a good thing to consider what you are getting out of the relationship with your ex that you are not getting out of the relationship with your current boyfriend. If you go to this person for emotional support before your boyfriend, then it is very likely you're involved in some \"emotional infidelity\". When we turn to others instead of our partner, it is as if we \"ran into another person's arms\" instead of theirs. No matter who you are, that hurts.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2691
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Although some people managing depression feel sad or \"down\", \u00a0it\u00a0is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood. \u00a0Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat. \u00a0People managing depression often have low motivation.\u00a0They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities. \u00a0People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame. \u00a0 If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth\u00a0evaluation. \u00a0 The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem. \u00a0The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label\u00a0of depression seem scary. \u00a0The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders. \u00a0 \u00a0Hang in there. \u00a0Healing is possible!\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my late teens and live with my dad.  The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. \r\n\r\nSometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\r\n\r\nAre they right, am I depressed?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2692
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Approaching a counselor can seem intimidating at first, but most mental health professionals want to help you feel safe and heard. \u00a0You can often find counselors using search engines like CounselChat or Psychology Today. \u00a0These websites allow you to get to know therapists before you take the next step. \u00a0These days, counselors have websites where you can learn even more. \u00a0These websites usually have clear instructions for contact. \u00a0Typically, you can reach out via phone or email to request a consultation. \u00a0During a consultation call, you can ask the therapist questions about their credentials and areas of expertise. \u00a0If you feel like you connect, you can schedule a first session where you will tell them more about yourself and why you are seeking therapy. \u00a0The thing to remember is that therapists want you to reach out to them, and they are happy to be approached for support. \u00a0Good luck! \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How does a person start the counseling process?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2693
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "First of all, congratulations on your new role! Transitions can be challenging, and it sounds like you are experiencing a lot of change. \u00a0This would be difficult for many people, and it seems that you have an added layer of challenge. \u00a0I recommend\u00a0visiting a therapist to determine the root cause of your anxiety and working to unravel those causes piece by piece. I know seeing a therapist can be challenging when traveling, and online counseling could be a good solution. In the meantime, here are a few of my favorite anxiety stopping strategies. \u00a01. Grounding Exercises: When you feel your anxiety increasing, take a deep breath and begin things in your room (or where ever you are) that have things in common. For example, name all of the blue things that you can see. \u00a0You can also do non-visual grounding\u00a0exercises like\u00a0naming all of the hte\u00a0sports teams you can think of or all of the state capitals. \u00a0This will get your mind off of your anxiety and connect you to space. \u00a02. The pretzel: This is a seated pose that will stop any anxiety attack in its tracks. \u00a0Start in a seated position and cross your dominate leg over your nondominant leg. Then, stretch your arms out in front of you with the back of your hands facing one another. \u00a0Cross your arms in front of each other so that your palms are touching. \u00a0Flip your arms into your body. \u00a0You will end with your elbows by your side and your hands crossed under your chin. \u00a0Close your eyes and take long breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. \u00a0This calming pose will help you get through even the toughest of panic episodes. 3. Bilateral stimulation and visualization: Start in a seated position with your hands placed on your knees. Tap each knee in an alternating pattern. Close your eyes and begin visualizing a peaceful setting. The combination of bilateral stimulation and visualization will help calm your body and mind. \u00a0I could go on and on, but these techniques should get you started. \u00a0These techniques should help you manage anxiety in a pinch. \u00a0Best of luck!\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2694
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Mental Health is an exciting and rewarding field. \u00a0I hear you saying that you want to be a psychologist, and that is one path to working in mental health. \u00a0You could study psychology,\u00a0social work or counseling to become a practicing therapist. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate and a Licensed Clinical\u00a0Addiction Specialist. \u00a0I currently provide assessments and supervise several counselors in a large clinic in Asheville. \u00a0I also have a private practice online. I studied Sociology and Interpersonal Communication as an undergraduate, and then I received a counseling masters degree. \u00a0 My master's degree was comprised of several supervised practice courses and theory courses. \u00a0 \u00a0I really enjoyed my education, and I find my career equally rewarding and enjoyable. If you are considering working in the field, I recommend emailing several counselors, social workers, and psychologists in your area and setting up an informational interview. \u00a0Not everyone you contact will be willing to give you their time, but many may. \u00a0 This will help you determine which path to therapy may be right for you. \u00a0Licensing restrictions and abilities\u00a0vary state to state and a local practitioner may be able to provide you with a specific list of challenges/triumphs about their particular license and education. \u00a0 \u00a0Psychologists are usually PhD level practitioners and require more education to begin. \u00a0LCSWs , LPCs and LMFTS can practice with a master's degree. \u00a0Best of luck! This is an exciting time. \u00a0", "response_type": "Validation", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just wanted to get to know one so I can hear about their college experience and the courses they took. I also wanted to know if they enjoy their job and how long they were in school."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2695
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. It sounds to me like you are carrying an enormous amount of emotional weight, and maybe even an equally enormous amount of guilt and feelings of failure about your marriage. I cannot imagine how challenging this is for you right now. Marriages take lots of work, and often the only examples we tend to have are of those we saw when we were young - good, bad, or indifferent. There are no easy answers to your questions, and I won't presume that my response to you will be the linch-pin that heals all your pain. But I can maybe give some thoughts and reflections. First and foremost, cut yourself some slack. No one is perfect. We fail more often than we succeed, but in the end we learn, and that learning helps us grow. Yes, you're right, the abusive aspects of your marriage are not good, and need to stop. You probably are doing more harm than good in that regard, and this will quickly destroy anything you have in your marriage that is even remotely in your favor. Seeing a therapist for yourself, and then seeing a therapist as a couple is a good approach. You have issues that you need to resolve, that, while they impact your marriage because they are part of the history of your life, they are separate from your marriage in many respects.Joining a marriage support group can also be helpful. You can find these through local counseling resources. Sometimes your local crisis numbers can provide services in your area that can be helpful. If you belong to a religious or spiritual community, then you might see if there is any type of counseling offered for free or at a reduced rate. Sometimes pastoral support is focused on the spiritual side of any issues addressed, so if you feel this is important it might be a viable option for you.Lastly, parents are imperfect. Yep...its true. They had no more of a guaranteed parenting success manual than you do at having chances for a perfect marriage. We limp along and do our best. Having said that, we can still take the best from our past and apply to our future, no matter how small or insignificant it might be for us. The bad stuff serves as lessons of what to avoid, and we are each responsible and accountable for our actions in this life. Both with ourselves, and toward other people. So this becomes a guiding principle in our actions. It may be that you discover that the marriage you are in is not a good fit. \u00a0I am sure that remains to be seen, but either way you both must be involved in saving it. If only one of you cares, then 100% of the energy to salvage the marriage rests on the shoulders of one person. That's not fair. So be sure you have a clear understanding from your wife about what she wants, and work to create an amicable solution. All of this said, seek out supportive friends, and actively work to do your part to make the changes you want to see in your life. One way or the other, you will benefit from it.Be well.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "What am I doing wrong? My wife and I are fighting all the time. What can I do? We don't agree on anything and she usually jumps to conclusions, which are usually wrong on how I feel. She is very family-oriented while all of my family left me on my butt, abused, ignored and messed up with me mentally. I'm not a family-oriented person. I only have two people in my life - my best friend and my wife.  \r\n\r\nMy mother forced my father out of my life so I do not know who he really is. We've gotten in contact but he just makes comments on how much I look like her when in fact I look more like him.  This makes me mad because I don't want to look like my mother. I hate her. All that she did was bring me down and make me homeless, which she was successful at.  I need guidance in my life.  I don't want to lose my wife but we need to have a space because we usually hit each other and it's not healthy. I'm dying to make our relationship healthy. I've never wanted anything more than this. Please help me. I need your advice."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2696
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you are experiencing burnout and have very little, if no job satisfaction. \u00a0There are some aspects of this that are in your control and others that are not. \u00a0What type of work do you typically enjoy? \u00a0Do you enjoy high stress work? What keeps you in this job? Is there a reason you have stayed? \u00a0Is your boss reasonable to have a conversation with? \u00a0I recommend a few things. \u00a0For one, you may want to have a discussion with your boss about your job duties and see if there is a way to either eliminate some responsibilities or get higher pay. \u00a0Another option, if you are unable to have an open conversation, you can start to look at an ideal work situation, what would you like/ be OK with/ absolutely hate about a job. Then possibly try to look for a new job that fits these qualifications.\u00a0If you are unable to leave your job, you may want to attempt to balance your work life with more activities that create joy outside of work. \u00a0Sometimes that balance can help you tolerate work more. \u00a0I recommend that you find a supportive person to talk with and process these frustrations as burnout can lead us to do things we may regret. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.\r\n\r\nWhat can I do to manage my stress?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2697
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It can be uncomfortable talking to someone about your life in the great detail that is normally necessary for counseling to be beneficial. Since you're already going to counseling, congratulations on taking that big, first, stress-inducing step. Hopefully by now you are starting to feel a little more comfortable with your therapist. It can be helpful to address this big \"elephant in the room\" and talk to your therapist about this. I do my best to help people feel comfortable when they come to counseling, but regardless of how hard we try, sometimes it is just a little hard to get accustomed to. The good news is, the more you keep at it, the more \"normal\" it will become.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky.  Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2698
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my late teens and live with my dad.  The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. \r\n\r\nSometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\r\n\r\nAre they right, am I depressed?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2699
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Life is beautiful without unwanted thoughts and stress. With proper strategies and tools it is possible to regain control over your thoughts. I guess you are just having \"thoughts\" and not actually \"hearing voices\"? My suggestion is to see a therapist and go from there.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want.  Things like \"you aren't worth anything.\"  I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.\r\n\r\nWhat is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2700
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You are right. It is not normal to hear voices that aren't your own but the fact is some people do. In my experience, medication seem to help. It is also important to understand when you hear voices the most - meaning it is important to understand what the triggers are. It is also important to understand when the voices are the least - meaning what helps you deal with the voices better. My clients have reported that their triggers are being in social gathering or around strangers or for some even the TV. Trying to identify your triggers is helpful for some people. Clients have also reported that listening to music, watching TV, being with friend or family helps them deal with their voices. Every individual is different and you need to figure out what works for you and what triggers your voices. My suggestion is to see a therapist / health care provider and then go from there.I hope this helps. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. \r\n\r\nI know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop.  They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2701
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Give yourself a lot of empathy and care for having had a rough childhood and realizing that life can be better than how you were treated when growing up.Be patient with yourself too bc lasting change takes time.\u00a0Alternatives to hitting your head require constant gentle reminders to do these new behaviors, or if you've discovered a satisfying alternative in one moment, time is required for you to repeat this alternative until it feels natural.Anxiety usually means someone did not feel well understood growing up and was rushed to comply with the wishes of others who were a regular part of their lives.Anxiety lessens as the person starts to know and accept their wishes and needs as valid. \u00a0Allow yourself to learn who you truly are in the spirit of accepting whatever you discover about yourself.The behaviors will naturally change with your new understanding and self acceptance.Good luck and enjoy this self discovery project!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young.  I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, \r\n\r\nI have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. \r\n\r\nHow can I help myself to change my behavior?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2702
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Love is a deep and nuanced feeling so start to accept that a simple cutting of emotional connection isn't possible.Honor the love you felt for this person. \u00a0Acknowledgement of your love feelings will most likely help you find a dignified way to accept them while at the same time slowly developing new ways to live your life in a way which does not include the actual person.Your feelings will always belong to you. \u00a0The newly discovered sense of how love feels will be with you and positively influence all your relationships. \u00a0There is a benefit to feeling loved even if it is not forever in this lifetime.Also, your partner opened your feelings, the feelings which showed in fact already were within you. \u00a0He opened the door and this door belongs to you.I hope you will find ways to appreciate having been loved and to be open that your feelings of being loved are a positive influence in all your relationships.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before. \r\n\r\nI feel like I don't  want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in my life because the conditions surrounding our love are considered  \"wrong\" by a lot of people.\r\n\r\nHow can I get myself to just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2703
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Starting the counseling process can be daunting but here are some ways that hopefully help make the process a little less overwhelming.\u00a0First,I'd start with finding a therapist through a therapist directory and searching for a therapist specifically in your area and with the expertise you're looking for. There are many reputable therapist directories online that offer specific information and links to therapist websites to learn more about how they can help.Next,\u00a0I'd pick two or three of interest to contact directly. Have a list of questions that are important to you that you can ask to determine whether a particular therapist is a good fit. Many therapists offer a free phone consultation to allow you both to determine whether it is a good fit.Then, after you schedule, the next step is to see what it's like being in session to determine if the fit is still a match.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "How does a person start the counseling process?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2704
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you have taken on a caretaker role for a while as well as experienced some pretty severe interpersonal trauma. \u00a0It makes sense that you would feel nervous around people. \u00a0Working through the trauma of an abusive relationship in itself can be a difficult process. \u00a0And then to add on the caretaker part can make things even more difficult. \u00a0First off, you may want to seek support to work through what you have experienced. \u00a0Many cities offer support with survivors of domestic violence and there is a hotline to help with this 888-724-7240 as well as online resources. \u00a0Processing the isolation of this relationship as well as working with your son can help to overcome the anxiety related to others. \u00a0Accessing autism support networks may be of support as well. \u00a0Other parents that will understand your experiences are a good and tend to be safer place to start in attempting to connect to others.Very importantly, go slow and be kind to yourself as you begin to adapt to a new life of allowing others to care for you as you so clearly have for others.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him.  I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people.\r\n\r\nHow can I feel more comfortable around other people?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2705
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "How is your life going overall?Since you hear voices since you were young I wonder whether you mean the thoughts each of us has about what to do, our opinions, including self-criticism and praise.I try to understand how severe a problem these voices are if you've managed to get to a point in life of awareness about the voices.Usually when mental health people hear about voices the immediate thought is you need drugs bc you are psychotic.Since this is going on for a number of years, I wonder if the problem is something different.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. \r\n\r\nI know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop.  They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2706
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. There are a number of factors playing into this situation. A former romantic partner coming back onto the scene during a current relationship; you spending alone time (and spending the night) with that former partner; and the uneasy feelings experienced by your current partner (boyfriend). Now those are the ones you have openly expressed. There are very likely other issues that prompted this behavior on your part. You ask if you were wrong. It is not a question I will be able to answer, because it is not one I am meant to answer. It is up to you to find that truth. Now, if you are feeling guilty, was it because of some sexual engagement occurred when you spent the night? If so, you might want to look at why that happened. Do you feel secure in your current relationship? Is this the relationship you want, or do you want to be with the former boyfriend?Important questions, but ones you need to ask and answer. Odds are, there is something that triggered this event to occur and it becomes a focal point in discovering any unexplored discomfort or other issues with your current boyfriend. Seeking relationship counseling can be effective in sorting this out, so be open to that possibility to help you clarify your thoughts and feelings.Best of luck to you.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2707
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry for what sounds like a frustrating situation.For how long has your daughter lived the way you describe and did it start all of a sudden or more gradually come on?What you write sounds like a major depressive disorder and this can start for a variety of reasons and improve in just as many different ways.Start with how you are feeling about the situation. \u00a0Ask yourself for how long you will be able to tolerate the way your daughter lives and if you feel any satisfaction in your mother daughter relationship.If she is of legal age, and you don't want her to live with you, \u00a0you've tried convincing her to get medical care for its own sake and to more clearly see her emotional and psychological health, and she is unwilling to take care of herself, you can discuss your options with the adult protective services agency in your state.The first step is to know what exactly is her problem so you can decide if its own you are willing to take care of or not.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "There is  just no communication at all between us.  She sleeps constantly all day (not at night).  She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat. \r\n\r\nShe has aches and fatigue, weight gain, hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her health.\r\n\r\nI don't know how to communicate with her.  She is not open to any suggestions. How do I get through to her?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2708
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Unfortunately you seem to have yourself in a double bind. By living with your mom she is not going to stop her attempts at what you perceive as \"controlling\". There is no use in trying to debate or get her to \"see your point\". As long as your there and you personalize her attempts at control, then you will find yourself frustrated and resentful. Try to find an extra job or a roommate so that you can do the natural process of moving on out.www.lifecounselingorlando.com", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\r\n\r\nMy mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2709
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "We feel alone because we are not comfortable with being our self. When you find that nobody is around do you feel alone? Your never alone. Once you take the journey to really understand who you are and unconditionally loving all that is you, there will never be an alone moment.\u00a0We seek outside of self to fill inside. This is the big lie of the planet. All you need and have ever needed you supply yourself.\u00a0www.lifecounselingorlando.com", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I feel so alone. I have so many people around me, but it seems as they just listen and dont understand.  They say it will all be okay, or they don't listen to me st all.  Everyone says they are here for me but it doesn't feel like they are. Why do I feel so alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2710
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "From what you write you've got good motivation to change and awareness as to what you'd like to change.\u00a0These are very good predictors that you'll be successful in what you'd like to change.Try, the next time you realize you're depending on your bf instead of friends, yourself, to interrupt whatever typical action you'd take.Do something different instead!If when you'd like advice and usually ask your bf, ask a different trusted someone.Or, when you feel lonely, contact a friend or introspect on your own if usually you'd contact your bf.Also, being dependent on a bf is part of a trusting intimate relationship. \u00a0 Dependency in the sense that you each are reliably available to each other, is a good quality.Only if it seems excessive, such as you're isolating yourself from other close friendships, is dependency on a partner, a problem.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. I've been really sad lately and for the past few months I've realized I'm just way too dependent on him.   It makes me really upset to be so dependent on someone else, but I can't help it. I don't even know who I am without him.\r\n\r\nHow can I be less dependent on my him?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2711
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\u00e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. \r\n\r\nI recently found out he cheated on me with another women.  He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do.  Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2712
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Is it possible that even though your illness is chronic, that it goes through phases in which you are more comfortable and that it requires less focus from you than at other times?I think the idea of having a lifelong illness is frustrating and can be depressing to think about. \u00a0Thoughts are not necessarily the truth of what will actually happen though.Illness makes negative situations look worse so be sure you are concentrating on specific areas of your life and not just assuming they will work out badly because you are ill.One way to be happy alone is to love and appreciate, nurture and be kind to yourself.This frame of mind may generate new answers to find ways of being among other people too.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I'm dealing with an illness that will never go away and I feel like my life will never change for the better. I feel alone and that i have no one. \r\n\r\nHow can I overcome this pain and learn to be happy alone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2713
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Each counselor may have a different process, so I'm not the end all authority here. \u00a0For myself, I review policies and confidentiality concerns with people first and answer any questions they have.\u00a0Then I'll let them know I'll be writing a lot in this session and I have an assessment form that I like to get completed, but I want to have a conversation and I'll ask questions as we go. \u00a0My first question is usually, \"How do you feel I can best help you today?\" \u00a0Some people are very at ease and tell me many details. \u00a0Others are a bit more reserved and I have to demonstrate more curiosity. \u00a0Even people who have been very apprehensive are usually feeling very relaxed by the time the session is over. \u00a0Usually, when we get close to end of session time, I'll summarize what I think are the biggest concerns from what I've heard and confirm whether or not the person wants to work on those things. \u00a0I also try to give an exercise targetting my biggest concern for them to work on in between sessions. \u00a0For instance, a relaxation method if they are very anxious. \u00a0Counselors are just humans as well, so it does take a bit of time to really get to know another person. \u00a0I always tell people that are apprehensive to give the counselor 3 or 4 sessions to determine if they really connect with them. \u00a0I hope that helps,\u00a0Allison\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "After first meeting the client, what is the process that a counselor facilitates?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2714
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "While you can't be responsible for your boyfriend's feelings, relationships do come with expectations. \u00a0Both people in a relationship bring their own expectations into it. \u00a0These expectations are usually unspoken, but result in conflict as you are experiencing here! \u00a0Your boyfriend expects you not to spend the weekend with this guy. \u00a0He may expect you not to spend the weekend with any guy at all. \u00a0He may expect you to spend every single weekend with him! \u00a0You'll have to decide if his expectations are ones you can live with. \u00a0Relationships do require some compromise out of concern for our partner, but you get to choose how much you compromise.\u00a0We get upset about things that make us feel insecure. \u00a0You spending the weekend with an ex makes your boyfriend feel insecure. \u00a0That doesn't mean you did anything wrong. \u00a0It just means that you have to decide if it's more important for you to maintain your freedom to spend weekends with whomever you wish, or to help your boyfriend feel secure in your relationship.\u00a0Good luck! \u00a0Hope that helps,Allison\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.\r\n\r\nI spent the weekend with him and  it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2715
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Lots of people do cry in session, but your therapist won't be uneasy with this. \u00a0Crying is a natural response and it also releases toxins, so some might say it's necessary! \u00a0Remember that you can be in charge of what you talk about in your session and if there's something that feels too uncomfortable, just say, \"I'm not ready to talk about that.\" \u00a0Your counselor wants \u00a0you to feel at ease and will probably not push you right away to a very uncomfortable place. \u00a0As you get to know your therapist, you will feel more relaxed and even not worry so much about how you appear to them. \u00a0It's normal to be anxious going into a new situation especially when you might not feel in control of uncomfortable emotions. \u00a0Don't give up, go and put your best effort in!\u00a0Hope that helps,\u00a0Allison\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I start counseling/therapy in a few days (I'm freaking out) but my main fear is that I'll cry and embarrass myself, is it something to worry about?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2716
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "While this might not be the first thing you want to discuss when you meet someone, it is important for you to be yourself. \u00a0It's better to weed out 10 people who can't accept you to find that one who can. \u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I crossdress and like to be feminine but I am attracted to women, but yet that seems to bother girls I date or ask out. \r\n\r\nHow can I approach them about it? should I hold back and keep it a secret, or should I just be up-front about it.  I wonder if i should stop or if I should continue to do it since it makes me happy.  What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2717
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You are right that his insecurities are at the root of the issue. \u00a0You cannot change that for him. \u00a0He will have to do the work to handle those emotions on his own. \u00a0What you can do is reassure him in whatever ways possible, but always recognizing that you can't \"fix\" this for him. \u00a0When I work with people who struggle with their partner's past experiences, I always frame it like this: \u00a0Everything that you've experienced has resulted in you being the person you are today. \u00a0The person they claim to love. \u00a0If you had not gone through some of those experiences, you would not be in the position you're in now, ready to commit to him and know that you're satisfied with that. \u00a0Just as when bad things happen to us, we have to find a way to appreciate the lessons learned your fiance has to accept that you're the person you are today because of what you have gone through. \u00a0Celebrate that you have moved through that and have landed in this perfect position with him!Hope that helps,\u00a0Allison\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My fianc\u00e9 and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the \"straight and narrow\" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past, especially  that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. \r\n\r\nHis insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2718
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Initially, everything is a reminder because there is a trace of that other person present in everything in your life.\u00a0When we lose someone, we're saying goodbye to what we thought our future was going to be. \u00a0Accepting that's changed and allowing ourselves to envision a new future is necessary to \"move on\".\u00a0Start learning something new or try a new activity that you've always wanted to do. \u00a0Find whatever is \"good\" about being out of the relationship and focus on those things. \u00a0This can be an exciting time of transformation for you. \u00a0 As time goes by, you'll add new things in your life that aren't entwined with this relationship and those things will begin to crowd out those things associated with the relationship. \u00a0Give yourself a little empathy, no one goes through a breakup without being sad. \u00a0It's ok to be sad. \u00a0It's even ok to feel devastated. \u00a0Loss of a relationship touches a primal need we have to belong. \u00a0It makes us feel insecure, unanchored. \u00a0In truth, we are ok, safe even. \u00a0This experience will open different perspectives for you. \u00a0There are lessons you'll take from it that will add another facet to you as a person. \u00a0Maybe in time, you'll even appreciate this experience. \u00a0I'm sorry you're hurting right now. \u00a0Best wishes to you,\u00a0Allison\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder.  How do I move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2719
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It is brave of you to\u00a0speak out, PTSD is not a joke and it can quickly take a\u00a0toll on all aspect of life. Please, know that you are not alone and with the right help you can overcome these challenges.\u00a0Living with PTSD can be very emotionally exhausting, but you can learn ways to cope with its challenges and find\u00a0fulfillment in your life again. This means being proactively involved with the process, learning about the problem and positive ways to manage it can be a good start. This can also mean seeking professional help. It is important to address the problem both at the\u00a0physiological and psychological level, this can mean using medication that is prescribed by a\u00a0MD\u00a0to reduce the intensity symptoms and also working with an experienced\u00a0licensed professional. Having healthy life habits such as good sleep hygiene, healthy diet, staying away from self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, and exercising can help reduce the intensity of the symptoms as well. Please, consult with a licensed professional close to you to get more information on resources you can possibly find helpful to you.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships.  I even lost my job month ago. \r\n\r\nHow can I get my life back?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2720
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "This is certainly an important issue to\u00a0look into, It is always helpful to speak with the child's pediatrician since they are most familiar with the child's\u00a0developmental history. Also, children tend to regress behaviorally when facing events and interactions they feel to have no control over, this can be as simple as a loss of a pet, a recent move, death in the family, \u00a0and/or as serious as sexual abuse, and other things. If you have not spoken to the school that can be a good starting point.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of 10. She then started to act younger than she is. \r\n\r\nNow she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2721
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Talking to a licensed profession who can discuss this in greater depth can be best.\u00a0As a general information, in short, I can say that our thoughts are greatly influenced\u00a0by our early life experiences. Our thoughts are processed through schemes, these are mental images or templates by which we make meaning of the world around us. \u00a0While our upbringing has a great influence on the way we see and interact with the world around us as adults, However, we are not condemned to abide by them for life, in psychotherapy, you learn to change negative\u00a0schemas with positive ones. Yeah, if you had less than optimal childhood you would have some sort of negative schemas that unconsciously lead to self-sabotage your efforts for success and happiness. The research in the field of interpersonal neurobiology suggests that without conscious awareness and reflective practices we tend to interact with the world by repeating old habits of mind. On the other hand, in psychotherapy you can learn helpful\u00a0strategies to increase your conscious abilities to stay in control of your mind in the present moment and reduce intrusions of negative mind habits.\u00a0Yoga, meditation, and tai\u00a0chi are also found to increase self-awareness and lessen the intrusions of negative self-judgment on one's\u00a0psyche.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want.  Things like \"you aren't worth anything.\"  I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.\r\n\r\nWhat is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2722
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Bravo, on your success in securing a job and also for being proactive with your need. Starting a new job can be scary and having to travel away from your home and family can make it even more anxiety provoking.\u00a0Do allow yourself to be anxious about this new journey, we can be hard on ourselves, think if it was a friend that was turning to you for help, what solutions would you have offered them, but also continue to seek to secure right support as well. Talking to your physician is always a good place to start; your physician can tell you if there are organic influences causing your anxiety that may be out of your control. Additionally, talking to close or compassionate family and friends is always good. It is important that you turn to supportive people at the time of emotional need, talking about our challenges can help break the cycle of anxiety at least momentarily.\u00a0Remember, to further your success, it requires a healthy self, if you have supportive relationships relying on and turning to people who can be there without judgment is great. Healthy lifestyle\u00a0like eating right, sleeping enough, and regular exercise also never fails to help improve overall emotional health.\u00a0Additional self-care\u00a0measures such as repeated relaxation practices can help you become more familiar with your nervous systems reactivity and you can implement strategies to ease anxiety in various situations as it demands. The more resources the better you will be equipped to manage challenges and concerns at the time notice. \u00a0You can find a lot from the internet too, use your\u00a0best judgment as what may not be appropriate for you there are some wonderful apps on most smartphones that can help you learn and practice grounding strategies to ease anxiety.\u00a0If you have access to a therapy you find more specific strategies that would best fit your needs. Good luck, wish you a happy journey and much success.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2723
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry to hear of your problem.First step as always when a possible medical explanation exists, go for a urology check up to either your internist or a urologist.Once you know there is no medical reason which would prevent an erection, then we can consider the psychological and emotion based factors.Maybe you're nervous about your sexual performance or that your gf may be disappointed in your performance.Men often mistake their own fears of performance failure with the assumption that their partner thinks about sex as a performance.Talk with your gf about whatever is on your mind which may inhibit you from enjoying sex.The reasons are endless.What matters is to have a heartfelt dialogue with each other.The emotional support which comes through such an intimate conversation may very well be the catalyst for a more relaxed and satisfying approach to sex w your gf.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I love my girlfriend so much. I get an erection even just thinking about her or seeing her.  But the two times we tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection.  We've only had sex once and it was a long time ago. \r\n\r\nWhy this is happening and what can I do about it?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2724
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Love yourself more and treat yourself kindly, with empathy and compassion.Usually when people feel depressed they also feel lonely and isolated. \u00a0Since at this time you wouldn't want to tell anyone about the way you feel, which includes the possibility that a few of the ones whom you tell would offer you emotional support, give this to yourself.Also consider to make a goal of eventually telling someone whom you are reasonably sure would understand and empathize, about your depression.This will help alleviate the sense of shame, unworthiness and pervasive guilt which often comes along with depression.Sending you good luck!", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know I need to deal with my depression. But I don't know how and I don't want to tell anyone. \r\n\r\nHow can I deal with depression without telling anyone?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2725
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "People often have very different values and opinions when they are drinking excessively and when they stop drinking so much.Did the two of you share drinking as an activity? \u00a0If yes, then did you stop drinking too?Often when partners meet each other as drinking buddies when one gets sober, the relationship ends. \u00a0Once the terms of any relationship changes, one possibility is that it dissolves.The best way to go is to start the conversation of what you genuinely want. \u00a0This is the only way she'll really know your thoughts.Ask her to give serious consideration and discussion over at least a few weeks or months, to moving away from you. \u00a0This is a fair request since you are in a relationship.If she's changed so much by giving up drinking, which is possible, that she no longer wants to be in relationship to you, then you are better off being without a drinking gf, even if the truth she delivers is a hurtful one.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her?  I want her to stay."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2726
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello. Even though legally you are an adult, it is a matter of courtesy to respect the homes of your parents. As long as you live there, you should be considerate of their needs. At the same time, there should be conversation about what each of you considers appropriate as it pertains to communication between a parent and an adult (even though you are still her offspring). This will require openness, honesty, and a willingness to give from both sides in a respectful way. Healthy boundaries can be established and honored when each is willing to do their part in this new relationship. Your mother knows you are an adult, but has not had as many years of treating you like one. So mentally and emotionally this will take some time for her to adapt. Share your concerns with her, and see if you can come up with a set of rules that you both can honor. It will be a great stepping stone for both of you as you move into this new chapter together as you begin relating a little differently.Reach out for help to a counselor if needed. You don't have to sort this out on your own. And lastly, take good care of yourself in the process. You are moving through some exciting times in your life. The more you can have support as you explore new events, the better you might feel less stressed.Warm regards.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\r\n\r\nMy mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2727
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "What you're most likely trying to get over is to be attracted to the qualities which you felt attracted to in the person.The problem isn't releasing yourself from the person, per se. \u00a0 Letting go of a person means separating yourself from the qualities in a partner which you value.Two possibilities exist.Either you continue to feel strongly that the qualities in the past relationship are still meaningful and you'd like to base your next relationship on these qualities.Or, the person had qualities which are no longer relevant or necessary in your life and this is the reason the relationship ended.It is possible that even if you had an adequate exposure to certain qualities in someone that you simply miss the companionship of a relationship.See if you can figure out whether you need the qualities this person gave you or whether you simply like being part of a couple.If you like the particular qualities of your previous parter and these are still relevant to your life, you'll attract a partner who has similar qualities.Basically people attract what they need.The more open you are to attracting what you need in a partner, the more likely your next partner will have these qualities.In this way, you'll get over the particular person and still have the satisfaction to be in a relationship.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "Our relationship ended about 7 years ago, but don't know how to let go. How can I get over that person and move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2728
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close and attached to your husband.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. \r\n\r\nHe and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2729
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Slowly is the rate at which you'll get back your life.Being traumatized means not feeling safe in almost all areas of life.Be patient with yourself as you try to regain trust that people will not harm you and will be sources of satisfaction in your life.It is possible that the trauma in your life requires such great attention on your part to your own inner emotional safety that you are better off with a less intensive job than the one you recently lost.Try to prioritize restoring your emotional and psychological health. \u00a0With this as the top area of your attention then you may have an easier time to accept a lesser degree of involvement in your work and relationships.When you feel angry, try to examine if underlying the anger are feelings of stress, fear, insecurity regarding your position in relationship to the person toward whom you feel angry. \u00a0 Anger is often the surface reaction to more destabilizing emotions like fear and insecurity.Gradually by nurturing and comforting yourself, living at a pace which is uniquely comfortable to what and how much you can handle, you'll regain your trust in both yourself and relating to others.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships.  I even lost my job month ago. \r\n\r\nHow can I get my life back?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2730
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you \"don't have to live like this...\"\u00a0 Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?\u00a0 Anyone in\u00a0 your family been depressed before?\u00a0 Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm in my late teens and live with my dad.  The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. \r\n\r\nSometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\r\n\r\nAre they right, am I depressed?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2731
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "There is no wrong or right way to define a relationship. I believe each relationship we are in is an opportunity to expand and to know self on a deeper level. We are conditioned to believe that we are not valued, or worth much without the confirmation of others and the world around us.\u00a0Give yourself time and try to not go to those who are toxic and enjoy the drama of others lives as s way to avoid looking at themselves.\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before. \r\n\r\nI feel like I don't  want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in my life because the conditions surrounding our love are considered  \"wrong\" by a lot of people.\r\n\r\nHow can I get myself to just move on?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2732
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Yes, from what you wrote, your dad doesn't accept responsibility for the way he feels and blames you for his feelings.I'm glad you recognize he's handling himself less as a grown person and more like a young child.I also understand your hurt and frustration that your father handles himself in a way which shows for now that he is unwilling to respect your wishes.Your decision is not surprising since most people wouldn't want to live with a parent who shows little interest to respect their kids' decisions.In terms of how to tell him your choice, do this in simple and most basic information terms. \u00a0 \"I've decided for now to live w mom\".I suggest to not offer reasons to him bc he doesn't seem interested in hearing them. \u00a0 Giving him reasons would likely trigger him to rebut them.If he asks questions, answer them as simply as possible.If and when you feel he is more willing to understand and know you, then you'd feel more free to have genuine dialogue with him.Right now he doesn't seem very ready to handle this.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I want to live with my mom. My dad gets angry and makes me feel like everything is my fault. I still talk to my mom although My dad tells me that I'm no allowed to. I'm scared I will make the wrong decision and that my dad will hate me. \r\n\r\nHow do I tell him that I want to live with my mom?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2733
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "You're expecting reasonable behaviors from your boyfriend's father.Since the father is his, your boyfriend is the person in position to speak directly with his dad about the expectations you and he have of the father.If your boyfriend has a good relationship w his dad, which is not what this sounds like, then great!If your boyfriend has a stressed and tense relationship w his dad, then somehow he needs to develop or be coached and encouraged by the people in his life who truly care about and know him, a way to state the very reasonable standards you describe here.If all else fails, then a new living space is always another possibility!\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "We rent from from my boyfriend's parents. His father drops by unannounced and stays for long periods of time. He lets himself into our home when we aren't there on a daily basis and takes our dogs to his house. He picks up our mail. He has NO boundaries. \r\n\r\nHe's an opinionated, rude pushy person. He expects to spend every weekend around us, gives unsolicited advice on child rearing and does not respect our privacy at all. He barges in with no warning. He has a key and lets himself into our house without asking permission. I need help. How do I address this?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2734
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "If you're actually able to afford to move out and support your own life, then this is a reasonable choice.If you're not in such a position and must continue for a while to live w your dad, then emotionally protect yourself from him.Doing so is much more difficult than maybe it sounds.Do you have privacy in your house and can you spend more time in a self-created safe space than around your dad?Also, limit the amount of dialogue you have with him so you don't offer him a chance to feel invited to criticize you.Are there other people who live in the household w you and dad?If yes, then are they similarly called names or are you singled out by him?\u00a0What do the other family members do when they hear your dad calling you names?Is it possible the other family members don't realize how hurt and upset you are by your dad's behavior?If yes, then make a project for yourself to tell the other family members that you suffer from your dad's name calling.It is possible the other family members will step in and tell your dad to stop.Not necessarily that he will stop. \u00a0Knowing the others support you emotionally and find you credible is helpful on its own.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "My dad makes me feel like shit and like I'm worthless.  He calls me names and makes me feel depressed.  I want to move out because I swear if I stay here, I'm going to lose it. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2735
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Anxiety or panic attacks can be very frightening. \u00a0Here are a few \"tools\" you can use that will help in the short term: \u00a0Keeping your mind occupied by listening to books on tape may help; \u00a0Counting backwards from 100 in 7's; Naming cities that begin with each letter of the alphabet; Keeping some ice or an ice pack in a cooler beside you, which you may take out and hold in your hand or to your face; Soothing self-talk such as \"This is uncomfortable, but I can handle it\" or \"I've been through this before and can make it through again\". \u00a0I recommend that you seek out a Therapist to help you with some long-term solutions to the anxiety. \u00a0Additionally, learning to breathe into the abdomen and practicing this daily is another long-term solution. \u00a0Yoga and meditation would be great!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2736
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Many people have thoughts like those you describe, and often it feels like someone else is saying it because they are things that may have been said to you when you were very young. \u00a0When young children hear negative things about themselves they tend to internalize these negative ideas and to form negative core beliefs. \u00a0The good news is we can learn to stop these thoughts and to replace them with healthier thoughts. \u00a0The first step is to catch yourself when you are thinking these thoughts, and to stay \"stop!\"; then replace it with another thought. \u00a0So for instance, maybe you fail a test or get rejected by a romantic interest. \u00a0You catch yourself saying \"you aren't worth anything\". Stop this thought, and replace it with \"You didn't do as well on that test as you would have liked. \u00a0Let's figure out how you can do better next time.\" \u00a0Or \"she may not want to go out with you, but someone else will\". So the idea is to develop a voice of a \"friend\", who can tell you the kind of things you would say to your own best friend. \u00a0You might also pick up the book, Feeling Good, by David Burns. He gives many tips for how to change Negative Self Talk.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want.  Things like \"you aren't worth anything.\"  I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.\r\n\r\nWhat is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2737
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Breaking any habit is no easy feat. \u00a0 Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. \u00a0Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. \u00a01. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing. \u00a0Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking. \u00a0For instance, many people smoke while they drive. \u00a0Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)). \u00a0It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work. \u00a02. \u00a0Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break. \u00a0This approach could be used in a variety of different ways. \u00a0If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home. \u00a0Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke. \u00a0 Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes. \u00a0With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them. \u00a03. \u00a0Consider cutting back before cutting out. \u00a0If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on. \u00a0Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether.\u00a04. \u00a0You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success. \u00a05. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes,\u00a0but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc. \u00a0You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases. \u00a0I recommend\u00a0making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road. \u00a0Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby. \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental.\r\n\r\nI cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2738
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Being in this position is tough. If seeking another career opportunity isn't viable, there are a couple of things you can do to manage stress on the job.\u00a0\u00a01. Have a ritual to begin the day: \u00a0Consider setting a one sentence intention and plan tasks for the day2. Take the breaks you are offered. I know it can be difficult to step away from your desk to eat lunch or take 10-minute\u00a0breaks during the day, but prioritize this if you can. Sometimes 30 minutes of downtime and fresh air can help you feel better.\u00a03. \u00a0Have a ritual to end the day: \u00a0If you commute by car consider an end of the day playlist. \u00a0Take a walk. Light a candle. \u00a0Clear your desk and write tasks for the next day. Whatever it is, send a signal to your brain that it is time to end the day.4. If you do work from home or are expected to be available\u00a0after hours, set boundaries where you can. \u00a0Set a timer for answering emails and stick to that. \u00a0Have phone free meals. \u00a0 \u00a0Try to engage in activities that are rejuvenating like spending time the friends and family. \u00a05. Try to limit alcohol/ drugs. \u00a0Move as much as you can. \u00a0Get outside in natural sunlight. \u00a0These are just ideas/ suggestions. \u00a0Even doing one of these things could be a step in the right direction. \u00a0Best of luck!\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.\r\n\r\nWhat can I do to manage my stress?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2739
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "It sounds like you are on the right track. Recognizing these nagging thoughts of self- doubt as \"imposter syndrome\" is a huge step in the right direction. \u00a0From what you have written here, it appears that you are able to challenge your own thoughts and provide yourself with evidence that counteracts the imposter syndrome. \u00a0 Continuing to remind yourself of what you have accomplished and looking at the facts at hand can help diminish doubt. \u00a0Remember, many successful people battled imposter syndrome on the way to the top (and still manage it). \u00a0It might be helpful to read some of their stories so that you don't feel alone. \u00a0\"The Cut\" has a great article on \"25 Famous Women on Imposter-Syndrome and Self-Doubt\". \u00a0 Business Insider has a great article about men and the imposter syndrome too. \u00a0Remember, if you jumped through all of the hoops to get into school and get published-- you belong.\u00a0", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school.  I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published.  I am well liked by students and faculty alike.  And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. \r\n\r\nHow can I get over this feeling?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2740
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Your situation sounds extremely frustrating.You're doing the right move to state you don't want to discuss your depression with her.I guess you could ask if she would like to know your reason to not speak w her about your depression. \u00a0If you feel she can handle a reasonable conversation, and you would like to tell her your true reason, then schedule this or bring up the topic at a neutral time, not in the middle of an argument.Having an unsupportive mom is difficult enough to accept. \u00a0You may feel greater success and peach of mind to meditate on accepting her lack of understanding than to engage in arguing when she starts this.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My mother is combative with me when I say I don't want to talk with her about my depression.  \r\n\r\nShe hasn't been supportive of me in the past and she isn't someone that I feel comfortable opening up to. She constantly tries to instigate conversations where she asks me questions that I don't want to or can't answer. I tell her I don't want to talk and she starts arguments with me. \r\n\r\nHow can I get her to understand?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2741
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi! \u00a0 I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with this situation. \u00a0I have worked with a number of young adults in their 20's who have had to move back home after college , or even stay at home through the college years. \u00a0Bottom line is that either way , it is so difficult when you are trying to discover who you are and what you want your life to be , to have to live at home. \u00a0 I have even heard much older adults clients \u00a0say that when they visit their childhood home , they suddenly feel like a \"kid\" again . \u00a0The old dynamics between adults and their parents and siblings can pop right up as if they have gone back in time and are no longer adults !I would suggest that you approach your mom and say something like \"I am hoping we can talk about the best way for us to manage me living here. \u00a0I really appreciate that you are giving me a place to live until I get on my feet , and I want to be respectful of you and our home ; at the same time , though, I feel like it's important for me to have more independence than when I was younger because I am growing up and trying to learn more about myself and become more autonomous. Can we talk about what might be fair rules that we can \u00a0both live with ?\"\u00a0If she is receptive , maybe you can each write a separate list of what you think would be fair and reasonable and then compare lists and try to make compromises and come up with a list of \"guidleines\" that feel fair to you both . \u00a0 If this is too hard to do alone , perhaps you and your mom can meet with a therapist a few times who can help you to come \u00a0up with some kind of \"compromise contract.\" \u00a0 This is not an easy situation , but if you can approach your mom in a calm and \"mature\" way and suggest a planned, structured discussion that doesn't take place in the heat of the moment , your mom may be impressed by your maturity and even more receptive to working out some rules that you can both live with.Good luck !!Elissa Gross", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\r\n\r\nMy mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2742
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hello.It sounds like you are really concerned about your daughter because you have noticed a significant change in her behavior . \u00a0 It's really a great first step that you are reaching out to get some ideas about what might be going on . \u00a0You are clearly an observant and hands on \u00a0mom who wants to be sure that her daughter is ok.This is a tough question to answer without more information . \u00a0With that said , I have found that \"under stress people regress.\" \u00a0In other words , many people , children and adults alike , often regress and behave differently - as if they were younger than their actual age - when under stress . \u00a0 Therefore , my first question would be : has anything been happening recently that is causing your daughter stress ? \u00a0This could be anything from conflict at home , recent changes such as moving , divorce , a loss of some kind , switching schools , or losing a friend or friends . \u00a0 Additionally , sometimes if children are feeling bullied or left out by same age peers , they may gravitate toward younger playmates as a way to boost their social confidence . \u00a0 \u00a0I would suggest that you think about what stressors / changes may have occurred recently. \u00a0You may also want to check in with her teacher (s) to see if they have noticed any changes in your daughter's behavior at school .I also think that you can have a conversation with your daughter in order to see if you can get a sense about whether or not something has been bothering her. \u00a0Something as simple as \" I have noticed that you aren't spending time with the friends you used to hang out with ; it seems like you have been playing with a lot of younger kids lately . \u00a0Am I right about that ? \" and then if she says yes you might ask a few questions such as : \"did something happen with your friends that \u00a0is making you not want to be with them?\" \"Has something been bothering you lately ? Are you feeling upset or worried ? \"\u00a0If she denies that there is anything wrong you might even say \" I know that sometimes when I feel stressed or worried , I tend to act a little differently - sometimes I withdraw from my regular group of friends , or I get cranky and feel less like myself . \u00a0I wonder if something like that is happening with you ?\"\u00a0If you are really concerned and not getting any answers from her and / or her teachers , perhaps you can consult with a therapist to discuss your concerns further and decide if it might \u00a0help for your daughter to talk to a therapist a few times , or at the very least you can get more specific tips from a therapist about how to approach this issue with your daughter more effectively . The more detail you can provide about what you have noticed with your daughter , including any changes or new stressors , \u00a0any possible patterns to this behavior , if school has become more difficult socially and or academically , the more a therapist can guide you about how best to handle your concerns and talk with your daughter in a way that is helpful to her.\u00a0Good luck! \u00a0 I believe that this may just be a phase and it seems to me to be well within the normal range of children's behavior. \u00a0I do, though, think that you will feel more assured about this \u00a0if you can get to the bottom of what's going on . \u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of 10. She then started to act younger than she is. \r\n\r\nNow she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2743
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "Hi. \u00a0This is an excellent question ! \u00a0 I think that the answer probably varies depending upon the particular therapist . \u00a0In my work with people , once we have met and I have gotten an idea of the person'a concerns and the issues they want help with , I spend the next few sessions gathering as much history and as much information about the client's current concerns in order to formulate some ideas about what may be causing distress . \u00a0I would then share my thoughts with the client to see if they feel I am understanding them and on the right track. \u00a0We would then discuss the best plan to address the client's concerns . \u00a0Usually I will suggest strategies that I think may be helpful and ask the client for feedback about whether or not they think my suggestions feel helpful . \u00a0 I always encourage clients to be really honest with me about this. \u00a0I tell them that I would hate for them to agree to try things that they know they won't try just to avoid \"hurting my feelings\" or \"offending me.\" \u00a0I want to be helpful and while I have the expertise as far as typically helpful \u00a0strategies, I really like to work collaboratively and have clients tell me what they do and don't like / agree with or not agree with when I share my thoughts about a treatment plan . \u00a0We the \u00a0 work together to come up with a plan that will be helpful , but also realistic and then revise it and try new things if necessary as we go along. \u00a0 If things aren't improving , I am very happy and willing to try something new !\u00a0I hope this is helpful for you !\u00a0", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "After first meeting the client, what is the process that a counselor facilitates?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2744
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "I'm sorry you have tension between you and your bf.A relationship means two people who relate, right?! \u00a0 If only one person does all the work to change their approach, what they expect, what they offer the other, then this becomes the new problem to solve.If you've already done a significant amount of reflection and change in the way you relate to him, then the next step may be to be patient as long as possible while he decides what to change about his part in the relationship toward you.Substance abuse recovery requires profound effort and reflection. \u00a0If it is successful then the result will show very different qualities in your bf than the ones you know currently.He may be so absorbed in the recovery that he can only concentrate on this. \u00a0\u00a0Of course if the fights persist and you have been patient for what feels too long, then there are different questions to address.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "My boyfriend is in recovery from drug addiction. We recently got into a fight and he has become very distant.  I don't know what to do to fix the relationship."}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2745
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "The true answer is, \"no one can really say with certainty\".The variables are the way this child absorbs and adjusts to these significant changes in their life. \u00a0All anyone can do is guess at this point and there's no good reason to guess.The only general certainty is that the adult whom this child becomes will have had a profound encounter with the biggest types of human losses a child can go through.Some people become great teachers, therapists and philosophers who have this background. \u00a0Some give up on life and hide away from others.The best anyone could do who knows this child is to offer love bc this is the greatest guarantee to show there are good people on this earth.", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": true, "chroma:document": "The birth mother attempted suicide several times while pregnant. The adopted mother was terminally ill upon adopting the baby and died when  the child was just over one year old.  The adopted father then remarried to a physically, psychologically, and emotionally abusive woman.  The child was placed in foster care at 11 years old. \r\n\r\nWhat might be the long term effects on an adult with this childhood history?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2746
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "How do you help yourself to believe you require more than what he offers to you?What do you get from this relationship which feels satisfying?To answer this question may in the longterm be the best way to help your bf.", "response_type": "Empathetic Listening", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I think adult life is making him depressed and we often sleep in on weekends untill 1 or 2 pm. We just eat, smoke weed, watch movies, and he'll go on his phone all day. He doesn't seem motivated to do much and he's often angry.\r\n\r\n I have no clue how to help him take his mind off the negative, or to distract him into a different light. How do I help him?"}


created_at: 2025-04-25 03:37:44
topic: persistent://default/default/67af1b90-9bbb-42c7-aaca-6eef4ef3349b
id: doc_2747
encoding: FLOAT32
metadata:
{"response": "hmm this is a tough one!", "response_type": "Advice", "crisis_flag": false, "chroma:document": "I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.\r\n\r\nPeople keep telling me I have \"anxiety\" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?"}


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# embedding_metadata

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If everyone thinks you're worthless, then maybe you need to find new people to hang out with.Seriously, the social context in which a person lives is a big influence in self-esteem.Otherwise, you can go round and round trying to understand why you're not worthless, then go back to the same crowd and be knocked down again.There are many inspirational messages you can find in social media.  Maybe read some of the ones which state that no person is worthless, and that everyone has a good purpose to their life.Also, since our culture is so saturated with the belief that if someone doesn't feel good about themselves that this is somehow terrible.Bad feelings are part of living.  They are the motivation to remove ourselves from situations and relationships which do us more harm than good.Bad feelings do feel terrible.   Your feeling of worthlessness may be good in the sense of motivating you to find out that you are much better than your feelings today.


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I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
   I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
   How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?


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Hello, and thank you for your question and seeking advice on this. Feelings of worthlessness is unfortunately common. In fact, most people, if not all, have felt this to some degree at some point in their life. You are not alone. Changing our feelings is like changing our thoughts - it's hard to do. Our minds are so amazing that the minute you change your thought another one can be right there to take it's place. Without your permission, another thought can just pop in there. The new thought may feel worse than the last one! My guess is that you have tried several things to improve this on your own even before reaching out on here. People often try thinking positive thoughts, debating with their thoughts, or simply telling themselves that they need to "snap out of it" - which is also a thought that carries some self-criticism. Some people try a different approach, and there are counselors out there that can help you with this. The idea is that instead of trying to change the thoughts, you change how you respond to them. You learn skills that allow you to manage difficult thoughts and feelings differently so they don't have the same impact on you that they do right now. For some people, they actually DO begin to experience less hurtful thoughts once they learn how to manage the ones they have differently. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy may be a good choice for you. There is information online and even self-help books that you can use to teach you the skills that I mentioned. Because they are skills, they require practice, but many people have found great relief and an enriched life by learning them. As for suicidal thoughts, I am very glad to read that this has not happened to you. Still, you should watch out for this because it can be a sign of a worsening depression. If you begin to think about this, it is important to reach out to a support system right away. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. The text line is #741741. I hope some other colleagues will provide you more suggestions. Be well...Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC


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First thing I'd suggest is getting the sleep you need or it will impact how you think and feel. I'd look at finding what is going well in your life and what you can be grateful for. I believe everyone has talents and wants to find their purpose in life. I think you can figure it out with some help.


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Therapy is essential for those that are feeling depressed and worthless. When I work with those that are experiencing concerns related to feeling of depression and issues with self esteem. I generally work with my client to help build coping skills to reduce level of depression and to assist with strengthening  self esteem, by guiding my client with CBT practices. CBT helps with gaining a better awareness of how your thought process influences your belief system, and how your beliefs impact your actions and the outcome of your behaviors.  This process isn’t easy but it helps teach an individual that we don’t always have control over what happens in our lives but we can control how we interpret, feel, and behave. CBT is good for individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, toxic relationships, stress, self esteem, codependency, etc.


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I first want to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings and there is always someone there to help. You can always change your feelings and change your way of thinking by being open to trying to change. You can always make yourself available to learning new things or volunteering so that you can make a purpose for yourself.


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Heck, sure thing, hun!Feelings of 'depression' have a deeply-rooted base in physical structures that may not be functioning very well at present; and, we can certainly turn them on again using means that you are able to find around the house and with relative ease :)After that, emotional and spiritual support will be liberally applied.


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You are exhibiting some specific traits of a particular temperament type. Seek out a counselor who provides NCCA temperament therapy and discover the joy of being you -- God loves you as you are!


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That is intense. Depression is a liar. Sometimes depression places these glasses over our eyes, these dark sunglasses that change how we see things. Depression tells us things like "you're worthless" "no one likes you" "don't worry about doing anything." And it is so easy for us to listen and to be tricked into thinking that just because we feel something means it is true. Please know that even if you are feeling worthless right now, that doesn't mean you are worthless.The first step to working through this is recognizing what is going on. Recognizing when depression is telling you the same story (ie; being worthless) with different words (ie worthless here, worthless there) and making an effort to talk back. While I can not give you a diagnosis of depression, reading what you are going through, it sounds like you might need help to get back on track. Seeing a counselor can open an entirely new option up wherein someone who is not involved in your life can help you without judgement and with an objective perspective. This can do wonders in unwrapping these kinds of thoughts. Wishing you the absolute best!


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It sounds like you may be putting yourself last. You wrote that you want to fix your issues but never get around to it. I wonder how you are spending your mental and physical energy. Are you spending time taking care of and doing for others? I also wonder where the thoughts and feelings of being worthless are coming from - are you around people who treat you poorly or are hurtful? Or do you feel it is more of a worry you have but aren't really sure how others feel? It may be helpful to talk to someone about your feelings - a counselor perhaps - to clarify your feelings and move forward from se that are hurting you.


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It must be really difficult to experience what your going through right now.  It takes a lot of courage to reach out. It sounds like you want to get better, but perhaps need some help to get over the hump.  Many of the symptoms you have described are consistent with a person who is dealing with depression.   Depression is a treatable condition.  Typically, if these symptoms have persisted for more than two weeks, then it is a good idea to seek professional help.   Someone who is trained in dealing with depression.  Initially, a comprehensive assessment would be completed to rule out any other causes for your symptoms and to determine the exact nature of your presenting concern.  Then, in collaboration with one another, a tailored treatment plan would be developed, focusing on how to best help you reach your goals.  The good news is that their is hope for getting better! You don;t have to do it alone.  Allow me to be your ally in healing.


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People who feel worthless were, in one way or another, were told that they are worthless. This is the lie that they are living with. The work of therapy is to help people see their true good selves. This gives them self esteem.


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I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this intense emotion of worthlessness.  I'm glad to hear this has not reached the point of suicidal ideation; however, it does sounds like you could use some additional support right now.  I would recommend seeking out counseling to help you challenge the negative beliefs you have about yourself.  Although many types of therapy would be helpful, cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown to be a good approach for this type of struggle.  A CBT therapist can help you identify your negative thoughts and beliefs, figure out the ways your thoughts are being distorted (for example, all-or-nothing thinking, or discounting the positives about yourself), and reframe your thoughts to be more positive.  You might also consider EMDR therapy, which helps the brain reprocess traumatic or distressing memories and helps you move forward with more positive beliefs about yourself.  Best wishes!


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It sounds like you may be struggling with depression. Depression can make you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed to change. I would suggest that you connect with a provider who can help you get to the root of where the worthlessness is coming from and help you develop a plan for recovery. In the meantime, small steps can go a long way. Self-care interventions such as journaling your feelings, mindfulness meditation, and regular exercise are all helpful to reconnecting with the present moment and gaining internal motivation. Focusing on one day at a time and bringing your thoughts back to the present can also be beneficial. There is hope!


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I'm glad you are interested in changing your feelings of worthlessness. Visiting your doctor is a great first step to address your lack of sleep. First, you want to make sure that you are physically healthy and that there isn't a physical condition causing your problem with sleep. Changing your feelings is something that is difficult to do, especially on your own. Make sure that you have someone you can trust and you can talk to about how you feel. This can be a friend or a family member. If you find that there isn't anyone you would feel comfortable talking to about this issue, find a therapist close to you who can help. One activity that people have found helpful in feeling better about themselves is keeping a gratitude journal. You can do this by journaling daily about the things that you are grateful for. There is no right or wrong way of doing this, as long as you focus your journal entries on the things you are grateful for in life.


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You have
several things going on here. The sleep should be addressed with a primary care
physician to rule out any physical issues. Sleep is the big reset and allows us
to function in the day. What happens during a depression is that our thoughts
race and it is as though our “brain won’t shut off.” Medication can help with
this. I also use a Pranayama yoga breathing technique called the four
fold breath which has great usefulness for relaxing us  and often does work quite well with allowing
us to sleep.. You can read about it here:    https://billleavitttherapy.com/breathing-techniques-the-four-fold-breath/Your
thoughts on feeling worthless to everyone fall under a heading of thinking
error in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) known as overgeneralization. In CBT
thoughts lead to emotions, so we are going to pick the statement apart and then
reframe it. First list
the evidence that contradicts the thought. Has anyone in the past made positive
comments toward you? This might be hard to recall if we are in a rut, but at
some point in life we frequently have had some positives expressed towards us
by others.  “Everyone” is an absolute. The
specifics on why you are thinking this need to be addressed. How are you
arriving at this conclusion? There may be specific people that we want more
validation from. Or specific people might have made offhand hurtful comments, (such
as a family member, teacher or co-worker) but if I extrapolate that to a global
and think that everyone thinks I am worthless, that thought is not rooted in
facts.  
What are
the Pros and Cons of thinking this way? What are the Benefits and Costs? There
are very little pros or benefits to thinking this way. It’s just going to
continue to tear you down and make you feel bad. So can we reframe the thought
about the situation? Is there another way of looking at the situation? Again,
we need the specifics on how you are arriving at this conclusion, and a one on
one therapist can definitely help you with this, but the thinking that you are
using to arrive at the conclusion needs to be re-cast into a more helpful
mindset.


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Hello, you sound like you have so much on your mind! I am relieved to hear that you have never tried or have contemplated suicide, but not being able to sleep, feeling worthless, and like you shouldn't be here are big issues that need addressing.Please get around to counseling.  Having someone to listen to you is a gift to yourself. You deserve the help of someone helping you change your feelings of worthlessness. You have not been able to do this alone. It's time to reach out for help.  You can do this! Best to you!


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It sounds like you are having some pretty severe depression. Depression can cause insomnia, and make a person focus on their own perceptions that they are "worthless". It is important to remember that other people may not truly perceive you as worthless. This is the depression talking.  I think that it is extremely important when you are this depressed, to sit down and write down some positives about yourself. What are your strengths? What are some positive things that your have done in your life? It concerns me that you are having suicidal thoughts. It sounds like now is the time to act on the idea of getting some help for yourself. If you feel like you might actually take your life, I would recommend that you go to a hospital emergency room, or a mental health crisis clinic right away to get some help. The most important thing right now is to keep yourself safe. If you are feeling like you are not going to hurt yourself despite your suicidal thoughts, I would recommend that you focus on finding a therapist as soon as possible. I don't know what your situation is in terms of insurance. The back of your insurance card should inform you how to obtain mental health services. There are also low cost services available with such places as Catholic Charities, and others. Your local county mental health agency should be able to refer you to some appropriate places. Good luck. Remember to identify your strengths, and the good things about yourself.  Marie


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You can, for sure... and the first step is to believe you are worthy TO YOURSELF. Recognizing you are in a quest is already a big first step. Taking the time to start figuring out who you are is definitely the next... do so with SELF COMPASSION and kindness. Know this is a process and just look forward for what you might find.  I do recommend you find someone to talk to (there are many options out there that can fit the situation you are in), and I also recommend you start by giving yourself the importance to invest some time and effort in this quest. YOU DESERVE IT. There are some excellent TED Talks you can google, great books you can read, or even joining a yoga practice, team or some kind of hobby may help. Anything that shows yourself you are worthy of this effort. Have patience and start!!!! the answer is out there waiting for you. Asking these questions already set you on the right path.


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Oftentimes we can change our feelings about ourselves by building a better relationship with ourself.  It sounds like there is a very critical aspect of your self that is alive and taking over.  Sometimes when we are stuck it is because a part of ourselves, a way that perhaps we learned to cope with difficult situations earlier in our lives, has decided to run the show.  Like a highly critical part that may actually be desperately attempting to protect us from a past hurt. Slowing down and even forming a relationship with this critical internal part will help you get some space from it.  When we can begin to observe parts of ourselves, be curious about them, get to know them like a new friend, then we have room for other ways of being.  Beginning therapy could be a great way to change this feeling of worthlessness.  Beginning to build a better relationship and understanding of yourself will deeply influence the relationships around you.  This first step may feel hard, to reach out to someone, and it could be the beginning step to a path of radically shifting your relationship with yourself and others in your life.


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Feelings of worthlessness often originate  from what you learned about yourself when you were young. Improving your self esteem needs focus on that original message from parents, teachers or siblings that may be suppressed.  Most of us need help to uncover the "lie" because you were born valuable!


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The feeling of being worthless is caused by your inside being not matching your outside result. Your comparison to others and you thinking you need to be someone other than who you are. You are not worthless. No one is worthless. You need to find your worth and not let yourself talk yourself out of the good you find in yourself. I hope these words resonate with you and that you start looking for your worth even if it’s as simple as I am able to get out of bed and call someone and make a joke.


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Hi there, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Let me see if I can guide you in the right direction. Often when I talk to my clients about feelings of worthlessness we start with a little bit of self-exploration. We start with noticing. Start to notice when these feelings come up for you. Is there a particular time
of day, a specific person who brings it out, a phrase you hear? Just
start to notice. Usually it's tied to something but it may take a while to figure out what that something/someone is. Try to be patient.Next we start to explore. When did these feelings start? Where do you think they come from? Is there something - a statement - perhaps that repeats in your head over and over again? If so, whose voice is it? These are difficult questions, and just a few of them, so take your time answering them. (We usually do it over a few sessions.) It might even be helpful to write them down somewhere. If you have a journal that would be a great place as research has shown that our brain works differently when we put pen to paper versus typing on a computer. Now comes the good news. Our brains are able to rewire themselves. This allows us to change habits we don't want as well as statements we say to ourselves that are no longer serving us. The next step is to select an ally. Someone who is or has been in your corner, someone who is always rooting for you. If you don't have someone like that, that's ok - a lot of us don't - you can just make someone up. Close your eyes and try to describe that person in great detail from the way they look to the way they act to the way they sound. Now, pick a phrase you would like that person to say to you whenever you start to think that you're worthless. Something that will help you feel better about yourself - a characteristic, a skill, a great joke you tell, a physical attribute. This also takes time and may involve you asking for help from someone who knows you.Once you have all of that together - the noticing, answers from where these feelings and statement(s) come from, your ally, your new statement, you can try to put it altogether. When the feelings come up, notice what is bringing them up and then call upon your ally to try to change the statement in your head from the self-defeating one to the more positive, uplifting one. I hope this was helpful. Again, I do this with my clients over quite a few weeks, if not months, and I am there with them the whole time. It is quite an involved process and can bring up a lot of very difficult feeling/memories. If at any point you find it too hard to go at alone, please seek help. If you take anything away from this reply, know that there is help out there and that it is possible to change the way you feel.


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I am sorry you are feeling this way.  We all have narratives that we say to ourselves whether it is valid or not.  In your case it would be beneficial to explore when and how this belief began and rewrite your story.  There are different ways to explore and rewrite.  This process requires commitment, self-reflection and courage.


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Let me start by saying there are never too many concerns that you can bring into counselling. In fact, most people who come to see me for counselling have more than one issue they would like to work on in psychotherapy and most times these are all interconnected. In counselling, we work together, collaboratively, to figure out which issues you would like to address first and then together we develop an individualized plan of care. Basically, it’s like a road map of where you want to go, how are you going to get there, looking at stopovers, some scenic routes others possibly not so scenic, however, necessary. Of course, these plans can also change due to internal (what we have control over like our thoughts, feelings and behaviours) or external reasons (those things that are outside our control). I would encourage you to take the next step and reach out to a professional you can trust and build rapport with by co-journeying through whatever concerns you have by examining what has been working so far as you have learned to cope with some of your issues like insomnia, depression and anxiety, as well as being a breast cancer survivor. Then to help you by developing new coping strategies. Psychotherapy can be such a powerful tool to help you get to where it is you want to be. I know you can do it and you will see first-hand how psychotherapy will help you to move past these points in your life where you are feeling stuck. I like to quote Nike where their motto is, “just do it.” You can do it.


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I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac.    I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
   I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?


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It is never too late to get help and begin making significant changes and improvements in your life.  The right time is when you feel ready and open to change.  Sometimes when we have a history of trauma, like sexual abuse, the impact of that trauma can affect many areas of our lives as adults.  Working with a therapist who specializes in trauma is a great way to begin developing skills to manage present day life, learn to regulate your emotions and nervous system when you become triggered, and then in a safe environment have the opportunity to process past traumas so you can live your present life with more ease and joy.  People can and do recover from the impacts of trauma at any stage in their life.  It is never too late and you can feel better


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You have been through so much and it sounds like you have a lot of things that have complied over the years. Regardless of the struggles you have been through, you do not have too many issues for counseling. Many times when someone starts out their counseling and healing journey, there are multiple things they would like to address and work on. If you decide to start counseling, you and your therapist can decide collaboratively what you would like to process and work on first. Be sure to express to your counselor if any of the above experiences you've been through is causing a lot of distress , as many times the first things addressed are the ones that are presently affecting your life or you emotionally. Often times when we experience negative situations in our life , but do not address them, they bottle up inside us and can manifest in other ways, such as depression or even physical symptoms like IBS or neck pain.  Counseling can give these bottled up emotions and situations a release. Given the situation you shared, not only do I not think that you have too many issues for counseling, but believe that you will be a great candidate and can get a lot from it.


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Absolutely not.  I strongly recommending working on one issue/need at a time.  In therapy you will set smart goals and objectives that will help you reach your goals.  I see you as a survivor and not a victim.  Best wishes to you.


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Absolutely not!  In fact, most people have many issues,  A lot lot of the issues you are describing commonly go hand in hand ( in "therapy speak" we call it co-morbid conditions)I would venture that most of the feelings you are struggling with stem from your early trauma.  You would benifit tremendously from counseling!  A good therapist will develope a treatment plan that addresses all of your needs. With help you could definitely live a happy life without all of your anxiety and depression getting in the way!


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This is a great question! I personally don't believe that any client could ever have too many issues for counseling. In fact, that type of thinking may be stopping you from seeking counseling, so it may be hindering you from getting the help you need. In fact, all of what you described points to the importance of you seeking help in order to cope with the many challenges in your life. If you seek counseling, it will be important for you to understand that you may need to remain in counseling for a sustained period of time in order to work through each of these issues. All of these issues won't be able to be solved right away or in a brief period of time. Counseling will take commitment and hard work, but it is possible for you to recover and heal from all of the issues you described.Many clients come into counseling with numerous issues rather than just one particular thing. Most of the time, the issues relate to and exacerbate each other. We call these "comorbid" conditions, which means that two or more mental health problems exist at one time. A lot of the times, when you start to work on one issue, the other issues get better as a result.I encourage you to find a professional therapist that can help you learn how to cope with all of the mental health difficulties that you described. You deserve the help just as much as anyone else.


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Hi! Many people begin their therapeutic journey with histories just like yours and experience transformative shifts in their quality of life.  I hope you are able to find a counselor you feel comfortable working with and do the work if you feel called. Best of luck on your journey!


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Absolutely not. It sounds like you have significant trauma and it will continue to impact your depression until it is dealt with. Everybody has issues, though some more traumatic than others yet it is best to just start somewhere. I would encourage you to begin counseling and work through some of your history at your own pace in order to begin to impact and reduce your depressive symptoms.


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Most clients have many issues that need working out. It is normal to have many events in our lives that trouble us and remain with us without counseling help. The right type of counsellor will help you focus on the main and most troubling issue you have first and work your way through all that you are managing step by step, goal by goal. Sometimes, working on  one issue helps to bring other issues to light in the context of your main problem. This can help you resolve some other issues that are connected. Look for someone with experience and specialty in your most pressing issue...even though you have had breast cancer, you may find that grief from your past is more troubling. Then you would look for a bereavement or grief specialist.


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Just go! You start with the most prevalent issue by talking with your therapist. Healing one issue can have a ripple effect and heal other issues as well.


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There is no such thing as too many issues for counseling. Many issues are often interrelated and can all be worked on with some time and patience.


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Hi, people who have only a few issues and people who have several issues are perfect for therapy. There is no such thing as having too many problems for therapy. Therapy is great because it will help you process all that you are going through, heal from past and present pain, and gain clarity.


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Yeah, you might :)At least, it certainly feels like that, I bet...Not to mention that most counselors out there might generally feel overwhelmed with a "case" with so many problems.  And, so, you will slog along week-to-week with gradual improvements occurring as she slowly does her best to chip away...The real issue is that these folks don't yet comprehend the integrative nature of each of these subjects and how generally simple it is to understand them, and then eradicate them.


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It could be said that you might be the perfect candidate for counseling! No one is beyond hope, and someone brave enough to be honest regarding their struggles, with the intention of reaching out for help is certainly a person a qualified counselor would be happy to assist. You may want to do some research on therapists in your local area who specialize in mind-body connection, or one of the struggles you have acknowledged in your post, in order to find a therapist that is best suited to meet your needs. Good luck on your search, and remember that the world is a better place with you in it.


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No, there are never too many issues to address in counseling.  Therapy would begin by prioritizing what you feel needs to be addressed first.  As one area improves, such as processing history of abuse you are likely to see improvement in other areas of your life...like sleeping better.


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Firstly, I would like to say how amazing that you have been able to live through breast cancer, sexual abuse as well as your depression and anxiety. You are stronger than you may believe at this moment for being able to continue to grow and live through these experiences. Take a moment to acknowledge your strength and know that this strength will be an asset during the therapeutic process that you will be able to tap into to find increased self esteem and more strength to address the concerns you are having. There are never too many concerns to address in therapy sessions. I hope you can find a great therapist who you can trust to listen and work with you to identify and address
the most concerning issues first. Once you begin to do this you may find an alleviation of symptoms and feelings which could allow you to grow your capacity to manage difficult feelings and situations and address additional concerns. Before you even realize it the issues you are having will begin to feel more manageable.


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Absolutely not! It is never too much. The most important thing is that you are reaching out to get help.  Therapy helps you to develop healthier coping strategies and that can help reduce the anxiety and depression as well as improve your sleep. This can all be done at a pace that is best for you. Your therapist can help you process all of this in a safe and supportive space.


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No, it is natural for us to have a number of issues going on if we don't address the concerns we have in our lives. Seeking counseling can assist you in working on these issues individually as well as ways in which they intersect and impact each other.


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The most direct answer is no. I would venture to guess that several of the things you are feeling (symptoms) are connected. I would recommend a trauma counselor. You have several strengths (resources) that you are able to pull from and I would encourage you to focus on them as you deal with the issues you have placed on the back burner for so long. Sometimes people are afraid to address things because they feel or believe that they won’t be able to handle it. Compare it to a tornado. The storm has passed, but you are still in hiding for fear of the aftermath (the mess left behind). A good therapist is like a personal organizer to help you.


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It's not really a question of whether you have too many issues for counseling but more what would you like to work on in counseling? You control the direction of sessions and depending on how you're feeling in a particular day can predict what direction that session takes. If you want to work on all the issues you've listed it will just take some dedication on your part to see through the counseling long enough to find a resolution to each of the issues that is satisfactory to you. You work at your own pace in counseling and it does seem like you may be overwhelmed with the ever-growing list. But you may just be in search of self improvement and making yourself better, which is a great thing. It seems as though you may need some form of resolution to what has happened in the past and to work through the trauma you have experienced. That may be the base of your counseling needs in which self esteem and depression/anxiety may fall underneath it as well. If you want to start counseling don't let what you need to work on overwhelm you. Find the counselor that best fits with you and together you both can tackle any issue.


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A person never has "too many" issues to address in counseling. Participating in counseling with a licensed professional offers a safe place and therapeutic relationship where healing can occur. A trained therapist can help a person unpack and process past and/or current wounds (or events) which may  negatively impact day to day living. They can also help make sense of thoughts and emotions that sometimes feel overwhelming and confusing.  If you want to experience more emotional freedom and gain some tools to help understand and cope with depression and anxiety, I'd encourage you to schedule an appointment with a therapist in your area.


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There is no such things as "too  many issues". Many of the issues cited here are connected. For example, in this case working on the sexual abuse will possibly address the depression, the anxiety, the self esteem. There may be some grief to process around the impact of the cancer. Our body, mind and spirit are parts of one system. They are interconnected.Addressing these issue are important so you can be relieved of the burden and feel more spontaneous and enjoy life even more.


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Of course not. Counseling is a process, whereby you and your therapist will help you create goals- starting with issues that are most pressing and interfering with your daily functioning. When anxiety and daily stress is more manageable then you and your therapist can examine more deep rooted or more chronic issues.


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You definitely don't have too many issues for counseling. In fact, counseling can help you understand how most of these things can be related to one another. For example, insomnia, depression, low self-esteem and anxiety are very common to experience after a traumatic event or events. Once you begin to work through processing these life altering events that you have experienced, the hope is that you would see a decrease in your other symptoms.


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You absolutely do not have too many issues for counselling. The fact that you are wanting to seek help is commendable and you should feel proud of yourself for reaching out for support. I know from my experience working with clients that some may say they have only one issue but when we explore it turns out they have many things that they want to discuss that are of equal importance. I believe that you deserve to feel happy, at ease and also get restful sleep amongst other things. Please do not feel hesitant because the fact that you know what you want to discuss and work on is amazing. You know the directions you want to go and the therapist just needs to help you get there. I suggest sitting down and making a list of what you want to discuss as well as what you feel is more important to address first. Perhaps the therapist can help you with that as well.


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Thank you for sharing your question.  I imagine it feels overwhelming and discouraging at times if you feel like there are too many issues to address in a counseling session.  I would encourage you to share these concerns with a counselor because a counselor can help you organize the concerns into a list of specific goals.  For example, a list of goals may look similar to this:1.  "I will learn about the effects of medication on the symptoms of depression and anxiety."2.  "I will learn about the factors that affect insomnia."3.  "I will learn about resources and support groups in my local area to help me cope with my traumatic experiences."4.  "I will practice self-care exercises each day and write about my thoughts and feelings in a journal so I can measure whether or not I"m making progress."This is an example of some of the possible goals a counselor can help you work toward each week.  Working toward a specific goal can lead to a feeling of accomplishment once you've completed it, and this may have a positive impact on your self-esteem.  I hope this information helps, and I wish you all the best!


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There are never too many issues in living. In a way we take on too many issues at one time. Then we become over whelmed with "anxiety and depression."  A skillful, caring therapist will help you find a place to start and deal with one issue at a time. when this helps the other issues. Then the other issues become more manageable. I gain. confidence I can take on life better and, importantly , enjoy living life more. My best to you. Dr. Spencer


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There are never "too many issues" to be addressed in therapy.  Most people come in with multiple issues they want to address.  The wonderful thing about therapy, is that often, as one or more significant issues begin to change and improve-   the lead naturally without much effort to improvements in the other areas.  (For example, as you begin to address trauma and betrayal from you past, you may find that the insomnia improves). Your therapist, with you input and direction, can help you to prioritize which problem areas to target first.


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You can be helped. Many of the people I see have multiple issues. These issues are often linked so that helping one issue will positively help the other issues.


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The short answer is: absolutely not! The longer answer is that it might take some time to process all of the issues, and it may feel quite "muddy" in the issues for a lot longer than is tolerable (which is why counseling may have been postponed to begin with for you.) It's important to be realistic when entering counseling of any sort, and that the therapist be realistic with you about what you might be able to expect working with that person (I use the words "might be able to expect" because therapy experiences can vary.) But that not having counseling about trauma that you have experienced much earlier in your life can play a significant role in the process and how long that process could take to unpack all that may have been buried over time.It might also be helpful in counseling to work with the therapist on figuring out where to begin, but to also manage the feelings of being overwhelmed that may make it hard to continue to show up and do the work required, week in and week out. It isn't easy work trying to process past pain that you experienced, and so consistent practice of self-care, including leaning on support systems outside of therapy, is key.


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Usually people who struggle with depression also have symptoms of anxiety. These symptoms come about as a result of underlying causes. The obstacles you have been overcoming such as abuse, cancer and insomnia likely bring about similar feelings and emotions in you which affect your self-esteem. Counseling is meant to support people who have layers of difficulties. We see the difficulties as layers to an onion, peeling away the many layers.


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Often times when an individual begins the counseling process it is revealed that there is more than one thing going on. When we think about how much is wrong, it can be overwhelming and we may not know where to even start. Counseling can provide guidance to help you to begin working toward healing in a way that is most helpful for you to reach your goals.


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It is very common for people to have multiple issues that they want to (and need to) address in counseling.  I have had clients ask that same question and through more exploration, there is often an underlying fear that they  "can't be helped" or that they will "be too much for their therapist." I don't know if any of this rings true for you. But, most people have more than one problem in their lives and more often than not,  people have numerous significant stressors in their lives.  Let's face it, life can be complicated! Therapists are completely ready and equipped to handle all of the issues small or large that a client presents in session. Most therapists over the first couple of sessions will help you prioritize the issues you are facing so that you start addressing the issues that are causing you the most distress.  You can never have too many issues to address in counseling.  All of the issues you mention above can be successfully worked through in counseling.


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Absolutely not! When we have the courage to accept the challenge to address whatever is causing us pain, the solutions often generalize to many, if not all of our symptoms. I would suggest that unresolved trauma from sexual abuse is likely a primary contributing factor. However, it is important that you first build a trusting relationship with a therapist experienced in trauma treatment as this is an area of specialty that not all therapists are skilled in treating. Choosing one issue to work on, such as anxiety or depressive symptoms, and starting there will allow you the opportunity to get to know your therapist, learn coping skills for managing distressing symptoms, and establish emotional safety before jumping into trauma work.


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Hello there,No one has too many issues to address in counseling. Once you start counseling, your therapist will help you identify which issues to start working on first and which are causing you the most distress. Once you and your therapist prioritize your concerns, you can start to address each concern, starting with the one causing the most distress for you.


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It sounds like you are feeling pretty overwhelmed. But you are also a survivor and have the benefit of a long, stable marriage. You do not have too many issues to address in counseling. A good therapist will help you to partialize your goals into smaller objectives and focus in on what's most pressing for you to address first in treatment.


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Hello! You may have heard the saying that counseling is like peeling the layers of an onion. Whether a person comes to therapy with many issues on their heart and mind or whether he/she comes with something specific, one issue leads to another. Please don't feel as though you have too many issues. You are important and worthy. On the plus side,  you are a breast cancer survivor and have a wonderful marriage! Seek the help that you deserve.


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You do not have too many issues to address in counseling.  And your perseverance will serve you well if you choose to engage in therapy.  The trauma and medical event you experienced topped off with chronic sleepless nights would lead to feelings of depression for many.  The emotional reaction you've had to these experiences sounds normal albeit troublesome and I would imagine intensely painful at times as well.  Therapy can help prioritize what is the most impactful issue you are grappling with.  I find in therapy that when the central issue is revealed, understood, processed, and understood again in its current context, many other areas of the person's internal experience improve.  It sounds as though something has prevented you from seeking help from a counselor in the past, and it sounds as though you are more seriously considering it now.  Therapy helps and it can help you when you're ready.


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Thank you for sharing your history. You do not have too many issues to address in counseling. It will help to prioritize what you would like to work on first in therapy. Your therapist will create a treatment plan with you, which can always be changed while working together. Therapy is a process in working towards your best life, and you deserve it.


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Not at all! Whatever issues you might have you can bring to the therapy room. Remember therapy is about YOU, not your therapist. You bring whatever you need to bring to the table. Keep in mind these issues are likely related. Remember you are a holistic being, more than just the sum of the parts. Just like any system, when you move something in one area, things start changing in other areas as well. Talk to your therapist to decide goals for counseling and establish priorities, and ENJOY THE RIDE! Growing, flourishing, and finally letting go of what hurts can be a beautiful and exciting process.


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You absolutely do not have "too many issues" for counseling. Your reaching out to ask this question shows you have a resilient spirit. Also, your happy marriage can be a support and strength to you as you embark on a counseling journey. I would recommend that you find a counselor who specializes in trauma, sexual trauma and/or EMDR (a type of therapy that is proven to have a strong impact on healing from trauma). Good luck!


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I don't think you have too many issues for counseling.  If a client came to me for help with the same issues that you have listed here I would first want them to meet with their doctor to get a physical to rule out any biological causes to your depression, anxiety, and insomnia.  I would work with you on deciding which of these issues to tackle first.  I usually suggest starting with the issue that is easiest.  Reading through your symptoms I might choose anxiety to start with since you are in the early stages of it.  I like to give my client skills they can use right away, so I would focus on teaching you breathing exercises to manage the anxiety as well as cognitive restructuring so that when an anxious thought pops up you can talk yourself through it.  Once you felt that you had some control over the anxiety I'd start to work on some of your other concerns, but I would seek your input on what you felt like might be good to work on next.  My gut is that some of these issues would be resolved as you worked on others.  For example as you worked on your anxiety and began to process your trauma and as you began to work on self care and getting more sleep - your self esteem would probably improve.  I encourage you to meet with a therapist and ask them how they might be able to help you.  These are just some thoughts that came up for me on how I might help someone with the same or similar symptoms.


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The way it goes is that all your issues are connected. Once you work on one issue it will have a positive effect on all areas. Slowly each issue is addressed and actually less issues will need to be addressed directly since resolving one helps your overall wellness. So no, you do not have too many issues. Don’t give up. Get help now and see how your life can change for the better.


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I think this is a very common question that people who have never been to counseling before have.  There is a lot of anxiety in going to counseling for the first time.  This is normal.  In answer to your  question, the answer is an absolute NO!  An important thing to remember about getting counseling is that it is a courageous first step towards hope and healing.  Getting help is like training to run a marathon, it is not a sprint.  You have shared a lot of issues that you are dealing with from your past, that are now negatively impacting your present, but I believe that in getting the right kind of help and support, none of them are impossible to overcome.  Part of the therapeutic process is defining and prioritizing therapy goals.  In collaboration with you, as a client, a therapist is there to help you with this process in determining what you would like to work on first.  Not getting counseling, based on the history you have shared, has the potential to put you more at risk for mental and physical health issues.  You are already seeing this happen as you begin to experience new symptoms, namely your anxiety.  In therapy, you will gain understanding and insight, as well as learn skills and strategies to manage the symptoms you are experiencing.In conclusion, I would encourage you to reach out to a licensed counselor who has experience in treating trauma, grief/loss and will address shame.  These are three areas that I have found that gets to  the core issues that are contributing to your depression and anxiety.   I believe you can get the help you need to find hope and healing.  Best of luck to you!


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Hello, I'm so glad you decided to take the first step in opening a conversation first. Deciding to go to therapy can sometimes be difficult for some, but with the right therapist, healing is possible and obtainable, even with what you've described. To answer your question, no you do not have too many issues to go to counseling.  You've been through a lot and have been strong and at times it's helpful to have someone else to help you through it. What I would say is to be sure and find a therapist who is experienced in sexual abuse and trauma overall. But you absolutely do not have too many issues for counseling. Please feel free to ask any other questions you may have regarding your situation and I hope you find the therapist you're looking for, there are many great ones out there. Many of the issues you're experiencing may be tied together from the trauma. Best Wishes. Laura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC


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Not at all my dear. Human beings are complex creatures, and in my opinion, our issues interconnect in a very nuanced web between our levels of being (for example, mind, body, and spirit). Everything you bring up affects all three. The truly beautiful thing about the human body is that when you begin to work on one, the others improve as well!I would encourage you to seek out a counselor who's style and approach speaks to you and start with whichever issue feels most pressing to you. A skilled therapist will flow with you at your own pace and make recommendations to other professionals (e.g., physicians, holistic practitioners, EMDR specialists for trauma etc) as needed to complement the psychotherapy work you're doing with him or her to help you find the total healing you seek. I wish you well on your journey!


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Everyone has topics to discuss when they start therapy.   There is no correct number of topics.youSometimes people go to therapy for one specific area of their life.   Not everyone has the time or interest to utilize therapy just when a significant topic arises in their life.Since you are one person, no matter how many or few topics you would like to address in therapy, all the topics relate to you.Possibly the result of your therapy will be more transformational than if you talked only on one topic.  Lucky you, to be on the cusp of clearing and resolving many vulnerabilities at once.   You will feel brand new by the time you finish your therapy work!


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Answers about our inner lives are most successfully reached from a sense of feeling grounded in oneself.First step is to accept your nervousness and restless sleep.  As often as possible, sleep during daytimes in order for your body to catch up on its need for rest.Accept too about feeling down.  It is normal to feel down once in a while.  From this place of self-acceptance, trust any answers which come up to your mind.  Often answers about complicated topics come in small pieces, not all at once as a whole unit.Also, your description about panic attacks is also completely normal.   They often arise unrelated to particular conditions at a given moment.  They are a healthy symptom your body is trying to expel bad feelings and does this by having the anxiety erupt at times.So, self-acceptance, tolerance of being on a process of clearing out worn out emotional clutter, and sleep at odd times if possible, are all ways to stabilize yourself, which will also feel calm and good!


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I have been feeling more and more down for over a month. I have started having trouble sleeping due to panic attacks, but they are almost never triggered by something that I know of.


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It could be really helpful to see a counselor/therapist about your increasing depression/panic symptoms. Finding out the cause of depression/anxiety isn't always as straightforward as it seems, since both issues tend to become patterns we engage in rather than solely related to a specific trigger/reason. For example, if I am feeling down about a particular circumstance in my life, then I start seeing life through this lens of feeling down, and typically I'll start to see a lot more that I get down about, and it can really build very quickly on itself. Same with anxiety. Obviously, this is a very simplified example and it can be very difficult to see how the pattern is maintained, but that's where working with a counselor/therapist comes in. I would be curious about whether you can start to notice the initial sensations of panic, and if you can (through the panic attack) continue to maintain awareness of the actual physical sensations. Even better if you can talk yourself through the sensations you're feeling - such as saying to yourself "Okay, I'm breathing really rapidly, and my heart is racing, now my palms are sweaty and my chest is feeling really tight..." Reminding yourself that it's just your body's reaction to stress, and while it might be overreacting right now, you're okay and eventually it will go away. I highly recommend the SAM for Anxiety Management app for the anxiety piece, and I wouldn't be surprised if addressing the anxiety helped to address some of the depression too.


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Have you used meditation or hypnosis? Relaxing the mind and connecting with your true self is a great way to calm your thoughts and get to peace and calm. Hypnosis and meditation have helped a lot of people with anxiety and depression. Google hypnotherapists near me or write for a while about what is going on.


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I’m facing severe depression and anxiety and I just feel like I’m going through a lot. This really distracts me and I cant get my mind off the things that are bothering me.    How do I overcome this anxierty and depression?


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Working with a great therapist who can help you learn ways to cope might be beneficial to you.  Sometimes just the act of being able to talk about things with a nonjudgmental person helps take some of the burden off of you.  A therapist can help you change your thought patterns and teach you coping skills to reduce your symptoms.


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Anxiety and depression is caused by ineffective functioning of the adrenals, kidneys, and the other systems that affects.A basic protocol of natural health makes quick work of it (about 2-3 months-ish; maybe shorter with a good constitution, in your body) :)


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Meditation may be able to assist you in lowering your anxiety and depressive symptoms. Meditation…Breaks Anxious Thought PatternsA common symptom of anxiety is having racing negative and obsessive thoughts that create a vicious cycle of worry within your mind. Meditation can reduce rumination and the break negative thought patterns by increasing your control over random unwanted thoughts and decreasing your tendency to worry by altering the way your brain responds to stress. For example, instead of following your negative thought down the rabbit hole, you learn to view your thoughts differently and recognize it for what it is – a thought – and let it go. Thank goodness to neuroplasticity and your brains endless capacity to change! Balances Brain ChemicalsAnxiety is brought on by various factors (personality type, emotional trauma, genes, prolonged exposure to stress…) and sometimes causes an imbalance of chemicals within the brain (GABA and serotonin). A meditation practice can assist in restoring the balance of neurotransmitters within the brain by increasing GABA (neurotransmitter connected to feeling happy and relaxed) and serotonin (another neurotransmitter connected to being happy) and decreasing cortisol (stress hormone).Builds A Healthier BrainBased on research and scans, individuals who have a regular meditation practice show dramatically larger amounts of gray matter, the volume of the hippocampus, thickness of the cortex, increased blood flow to the brain, improved neural connections between various parts of the brain and decreased size of the amygdala (controls autonomic responses associated with fear, arousal, and emotional stimulation). View full article here: https://www.therapybyshannon.com/blog-2/2019/4/16/meditate-to-lower-anxiety-levels


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Anxiety and depression are often linked. I don't consider them as diseases. Depression is a symptom of deep hurts to the sense of self that leaves a person feeling shamed. Anxiety is a symptom of not being given the proper emotional resources to handle the problems of life. It is also the result of being taught that life is a dangerous place that can't be managed.


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Depression and anxiety can be disconcerting and disruptive to our lives in many ways. I am sorry that you are suffering so much. Depression and anxiety can arise due to experiences, genetics or a combination of both. I like for my clients look at their issues as whole persons so I would also recommend these tips:Physical: regular exercise, healthy balanced diet, rest and sleepMental: how we think is how we feel. How are you interpreting the events that are happening to you? Try to interpret them in a less negative way. Unfortunately we cannot stop our thoughts as our brain is always working. If you can't see your issues in a different way then stop struggling and allow and accept whatever the unhelpful thoughts are. Choose to take actions based on your values and what will give you a fulfilling life no matter what your thoughts are. Remember, your thoughts have no power unless you act upon them. Emotional: do not let feelings dictate your actions, even if something feels anxious take action again based on your values and how you want to live.   Social: connect with healthy friends and family that will be a positive support. Take up some hobbies and recreation activities as well. If things do not improve I would encourage you to make an appointment with a talk therapist and discuss these issues. I would encourage you to also be open to consider an evaluation for anti-depressants with these issues as well. If you ever feel like you might hurt yourself please call 911 or go to your nearest ER.


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Life can bring us all kinds of struggles.   Depression and Anxiety are very common reasons people come into counseling.  Both can be debilitating.  Sometimes when life struggles and stresses build up anxiety and depression become prominent.  Learning tools to ride the waves  of life is a core part of counseling.  If you are ready to manage the symptoms and come up with a plan visit staceybshapiro.com for more information.


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Wanting to make changes and asking for assistance is the first step. Overcoming anxiety and depression is not an easy feat to do on your own, especially if it's been something you have been battling for years.  There are some different routes you may go down in order to start the healing process:Therapy - find a therapist who has a lot of experience with anxiety and depression. You can do this by googling "anxiety depression therapist " in your city.  CounselChat also has a directory of amazing therapists, as does Psychology TodayMedication - Depending on what other symptoms you may be struggling with depends on what medication you will be prescribed. Be 100% honest with the doctor and ask about different side effects or potential risks associated with the medication. You more than likely will be prescribed an SSRI.Therapy & Medication - The outcomes are very good for those who decide to do both. Medication can help level out out your mood and therapy can help you process through your emotions and keep you accountable for you goals , as you will be seeing your therapist more often than your psychiatristTherapy & Homeopathy - Homeopathy could potentially be a good tool to use alongside with therapy in case you are not interested in going down the medication route. Arsenicum album is most commonly given to those who struggle with anxiety and depression.The choice is yours. My recommendation is to start with therapy and explore your options more in depth with your therapist.


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First, be patient because anxiety and depression are rooted in a person's outlook on who they are and how they handle situations and relationships.Changing these deep major structures in your life takes time to try new ways and see what develops, then fine tune accordingly.Most commonly, anxiety and depression relate to one's self definition.Reflect on your own opinion of yourself and whether you'd like making any adjustments to this.   Then figure out what stops or inhibits you from doing this.Try new ways of thinking and interacting with other people.  The changed impression you make on others will influence your own view of who you are.In America people take Pharma pills to not feel badly.If you prefer to make natural, long-lasting change then reflect, read, try therapy if it feels right to you.Eventually you will be better off this way than to take drugs to hide how you truly feel.


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Your question is a fascinating one!As humans we have the ability to reflect on situations in our lives.Even if nothing currently goes on in a particular moment, it’s possible you’re reflecting on a serious or upsetting matter.And, our emotions linger within us.Just because a particular moment feels calm, inside your feelings may be the sense of a strong unsettled emotion from the recent past.Good for you to be aware of your own sensitivity to living with awareness of your moods and thoughts.


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One thing that comes to mind is making a list of some things that happen each day. It could be that there are things that are affecting how upset you are, but because so many other things are going on, you may not notice.Another idea to try is to keep a list for a month of one good thing that happened each day. This way, when you're having a rough day, you have a list to think of and take a look at.Are you eating and sleeping in ways that are typical for you (typically at least two meals per day and roughly 8 hours of sleep that night (may be different depending on your age)? These two ideas are closely related to changes in your mood.From where do you have support? Friends or family?Can you take 5 or 10 minutes per day to do something that you enjoy?If you think back to the last time that you felt "content," what was contributing to that?Another possibility is to try to be mindful of things that you do every day. For example, rather than eating a turkey sandwich as fast as possible on your lunch break, consider actually tasting it and enjoying it. Also consider giving yourself praise for doing something well. For example, when you finish your paperwork, take a moment to notice that and maybe reward yourself by checking your e-mail, reading five pages of a book, or something else that can be done quickly before you get back to your next task.


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It's important to take a look inside and see what's going on with you to cause you to have these feelings.  Please contact us in whatever way is most comfortable for you and we can get you set up with someone who will help you figure out this space in your life.


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Chronic pain at the back likely results from a few areas:L4-L5 kidney zone, most likely (lower back);Bone spurs, fused discs, and slipped discs, caused by connective tissue weakness, and calcium deposits used to neutralize highly acidic areas...The 'depression' will evaporate when the chronic pain is drained out, through natural means;Pharmaceutical means will simply extend the pain and cause it to deepen over time, not solving the problem;Remember, medical doctors suppress, natural doctors cure...


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I have a severe back problem. I've had 3 major and several minor operations, but I'm still in constant pain. How can I deal with the depression from this chronic pain?


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Maybe if you started to address questions of an inner nature of what changed in your life as a result of the back problem.To know your limitations and the areas of your life which they affect, will greatly contribute to stronger self-knowledge within you.Greater awareness and sense of direction very often decreases depression.


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If it is simply counseling that you seek, any number of faith-based outfits are very willing to listen and help out with these sorts of matters, free of charge :)Online messaging and social media is a secondary option, however this one may come with privacy concerns and consequences;If it were I, I would attempt to sweet-talk one or two counselors I come across to do a bit of work for folks who can't afford it :)


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I suffer from adult ADHD, anxiety disorder, and depression. It has been difficult to find a doctor in my area and my primary physician won't help. I am unemployed and overwhelmed. What would you suggest I do?


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Look up online what the local hospital offers to people.  Also, google some of the key words you just wrote here, like depression and counseling, low-cost counseling.Did your primary physician tell you their reason to not help you?  If not, then ask the person to tell you their reasoning.  Even if the specific doctor won't help you, by understanding their reason, you may be able to work with the answer you hear.


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I would check out agencies that offer affordable counseling based on your income or very low cost counseling sessions, i.e., Pacific Clinics, Hathaway Sycamore, Pasadena Mental Health Center, Burbank Family Center. If you google affordable or low cost therapy in your particular area you will find resources to help you.


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First step always is to do a medical rule out so that you're sure the problem is psychological and emotion based, not a medical condition which requires care and attention.If you are medically clear in the reasons for losing your erection, then reflect on what may be creating a loss in confidence in either who you are and what you're doing with your life, or whether your wife has these sort of problems within herself.Often a problem transfers ownership of who shows it.If you are a sensitive person its possible your erection problem reflects your wife's insecurities and self-doubt.  If she is someone who is reluctant to talk about feeling unsure then in a certain way by you showing a problem, she can avoid looking at herself.There may not be a direct cause such as usually exists in a medical problem.Medicine looks for symptoms to treat.Our emotional lives are much more indirect.If you feel stress at work or are unhappy in the place you live, for example, then your frustration may show up in your sex life.Basically, do a broad inward search of your life and what it holds and maybe ask your wife to do the same.You may clear the air within yourselves and between each other so the problem goes away.


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A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection,    Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage.    I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to.    What could be causing this, and what can I do about it?


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When I'm working with men with this type of situation, I always suggest a medical examination to rule out any type of organic reason for a difficulty in maintaining interaction. In cases where there is no medical reason for the loss of erection, I find that many men have a similar situation in experiencing negative intrusive thinking during lovemaking. My counseling approach for this situation is to incorporate the use of mindful sex.


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For starters, know that this is a normal experience for many men at some point in their lives. While this can certainly cause some embarrassment, a diminished sexual esteem or relationship problems, it is important to know you are not alone. I am going to move forward assuming that you have already checked with a medical professional to rule out any medical problems that may be related to this. Assuming that is the case, for most this happens for two primary reasons. It is either a short term biological shortage of blood flow to the penis. This can be caused my diet, lack of exercise, even stress. Another primary reason for loss of erections are anxiety. Have their been recent relationship issues? Are you feeling as though you aren't satisfied in the bedroom? These are just a few aspects that can cause subconscious anxiety and loss of erection. My suggestion to you would be to seek out a counselor that specializes in sexuality that can assist you in moving forward with this.  Best of Luck!


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Erection maintenance is caused by connective tissue weakness as well as lymphatic stagnation of the area and accompanying channels.  A proper detoxification is necessary to reverse the stagnation and get things flowing again.Lower circulation and pituitary might also be indicated.Medical will likely not recommend anything useful in the long term (pharmaceuticals do not solve a problem, only suppress it; and, it will return again later and worse than before);Certain herbal protocols and natural protocols would be very warranted in getting things going again :)


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If you haven't already, please see a doctor.  ED can be caused by any number of physical conditions and you need to get checked out.  Once you have ruled out any physical issues that interfere with getting an  erection, it's time to look for more subtle causes.  Unfortunately, you may have gotten yourself into a mind set of "I hope I can, but what if I can't?"  which is certain to interfere with performance.Again, rule out physical causes (can you tell I think that's important?), then talk with your wife about working  together to find the right approach.  It might be a good idea, for example, to take the pressure off by enjoying each other without intercourse.  You can have great sex without penetration and you can have physical intimacy without sex, so slow down and experiment.  You might find more pleasure than you expect when you can relax knowing there doesn't have to be a "finish line".Again, yes the  third time, SEE A DOCTOR, just in case there's something going  on.  Once you get the all clear, find joy and spontaneity with your wife again by being creative and pressure free.


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Assuming there are no medical explanations for this issue, many men I've worked with on this come to see it as essentially a form of Anxiety. There is a phenomenon called the Yerkes Dodson Law (see below; source: Wikipedia), which basically states that if we feel either too much or too little stress, pressure, or nervousness about a task, it will adversely impact our ability to do carry it out successfully. The ideal amount of stress/arousal is right in the middle - not too little and not too much. This applies to more things than we might often realize - from giving a presentation, to ordering food, to making a free throw, to driving, to sexual intimacy as in this case. A common suggestion that many men find helpful is initiating open and honest conversations with their partners about this issue, and for a temporary period of time, agreeing to physical intimacy and sexual pleasure in other forms, and without the expectation of intercourse. There are many ways to go about that (which are outside the scope of this blog article), but this can be a path to connecting intimately and renewing physical bonding without unhelpful anxiety - and over time, can lead back to intimacy in all the ways that have become elusive. Best of luck.


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It's fun to ride the roller coaster from time to time, isn't it? :)But, it's also weary-making, and leads to drainage that no man or woman can hardly anticipate!Balance comes with proper understanding of the different bodies you possess and how they function.And, to begin, we focus upon your physical, and move right up the latter to the spiritual, and begin cleaning you out.Unbalance is an experience of blocked energies that should be naturally flowing (call them what thou mayest); when blockages are removed, what is naturally there flows, and flows beautifully...


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I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life?


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Are you certain your highs and lows are directly related to your cycle?  It's possible that there are at least some contributing factors, even if they are  as a result of hormonal fluctuations.For example, at the start of your period, do you have that "I feel great" feeling, or are you tired and down?  Mid-cycle (assuming your periods are regular), do you find yourself napping or ready to run a race?  Either way, how you feel may be leading you to behaviors that contribute to your changes in energy and optimism. Let's say that the few days before your period, you feel cranky, bloated and want salty food.  Your natural inclination might be to isolate, stay inside and eat chips.  The next day, you feel even more tired, cranky and bloated.  It STARTS with a hormonal symptom, but what you do with that can change how you  end up feeling.  So if you notice feeling cranky, bloated and craving salt, what if you pull up a restorative yoga video online, spend an hour being restful and centered in your body and have a good meal with a healthy balance of fats, proteins and carbs, with fresh veggies and fruits before you turn in early to give your body the rest it is asking for ?  That sets you up to feel MUCH better!And those "on top of the world days" - who doesn't love them??  But even those days, be mindful of how you are treating yourself.  Exercise for sure, but don't do twice the workout you normally would just because you can!  You might feel super energy and skip meals which sets you up for poor sleep and feeling crummy after a day or two.All that aside, if you have a couple rough days before your period, pay attention to what is bugging you.  Christiane Northrup, MD, likens our menstrual cycle to the tide.  When the tide is out (just before your period), you see all the garbage cluttering up your ocean floor, but you don't have the energy to address it, so there it stays, bugging you.  At the height of physical and emotional energy (usually mid-cycle/ovulation), the tide is back in and you don't see all that annoying stuff you saw before.  Since you have good energy at this time, take advantage of it by doing some "clean up" on the things you saw there when you felt crummy.  Maybe it's that conversation you have been putting  off with your partner, or having the long-delayed closet clean out, or searching for a job that feels/pays/fits you better.  Whatever it is, those "PMS blues" may hold important messages for you.If taking good care of yourself, staying tuned in to your needs and keeping an eye on the "tides" don't help, then  see your doctor.  Something else may be going on - our hormones all work together like a symphony - it only takes one to be out of tune to throw the whole thing off!


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Depression and PMS symptoms can be so hard to navigate !  Looking at this from a holistic standpoint can help you understand why you get these mood swings and what to do to balance yourself emotionally during this time. As a woman, we experience peaks and dips during our hormonal cycles and right before menstruation, we tend to feel not ourselves and down. The bloating and extreme cravings do not help either.Making sure your schedule is light and you have things to assist you can be so helpful. Different essential oils like lavender may calm you down, or orange which can uplift your mood. Homeopathy can be effective and gentle during this time as well. Birth control is known to help reduce the extreme spikes in hormones and can reduce your emotional and physical pain. Perhaps even psychiatric medication like an SSRI can help . If you are interested in going down the medication route, be sure to ask the doctor about potential side effects and risks . Reducing your processed sugar intake may help a lot as well. Exercising, spending time outside, practicing stress management and avoiding caffeine and alcohol can all be useful as well.


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You may already be living a balanced life because you are aware of your ups and downs due to hormonal changes of your menstrual cycle.As much as posible, schedule activities around your expected mood swings.   This way you'll avoid feeling even more tired from a busy scheduled during a low energy time in the month.The hormonal cycle is normal.Opinions vary as to taking natural, homeopathic supplements or Pharma drugs which will influence your cycle and make your mood more even.There are side effects to at least the Pharma drugs, which is a consideration as to the value of taking them.Reflect on which is your style of living and what will make you feel successful in handling this problem.Sticking to a system which mirrors the type of person you are, means more than any one particular answer anyone gives you.


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In a way, self-harm can present somewhat like an addiction.  According to new research within the field of neuroscience there is a valid explanation for this.  When a person cuts or uses other forms of self harm, the body produces endorphins to help make a person feel better.  If a person was dealing with depression or high anxiety, that might be misinterpreted by the brain as a way to help oneself feel better and a new neural network or map might form (addiction) that would utilize this new behavior.  Another way to look at it would be thru a behavioral lens, a positive reward for a behavior, even though the behavior has other long term negative consequences.  Consider working with someone who can both have you work on and address those items that trigger your behavior and the root causes, in this case sadness or depression, and second find someone who can help give you alternatives that take into account the neurological requirement by replacing the behavior with another behavior (such as snapping a rubber band on the wrist) and working to extinguish the unwanted behavior.   Someone who is trained in Dialectic Behavior Therapy and/or Interpersonal Neurobiology would most likely have the skills and means available to address this with you.


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I self-harm, and I stop for awhile. Then when I see something sad or depressing, I automatically want to self-harm.


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Self-harm has a way of becoming a go-to method of coping. When we get stuck using self-harm as a way to deal and manage emotions, when something serious happens it totally makes sense that that will be one the first things to go through the mind. It is its own kind of addiction. There is a therapy, DBT or, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which focusing on giving you new tools to get through hard times, understand and manage your emotions, to stay present and to deal with relationships. This one of the most effective interventions there is for self-harm. If you are interested in DBT, reach a local therapist in your area and ask if they do DBT or can recommend you to a DBT program. This can help immensely. Self-harm recovery is totally possible, but it is definitely hard work!


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This can be a difficult situation.  Typically, only animals that are specifically trains to accomplish a specific task are legally protected as Service Animsls. Even though that can be very helpful, emotional support animals are not generally protected in the same way.You might not be able to make your landlord accommodate you. If possible, you may want to consider a different apparent that is more animal friendly.


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I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and depression by my family doctor. They wrote a prescription for me to have an emotional support dog, I have the paper work, and I gave it to my apartment manager. They said I can't keep the ESD because I'm not disabled. What do you suggest I do?


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At present, the American Disability Association (ADA) only allows protection and guiltiness for Service Animals, which is fall under a separate distinction from Emotional Support Animals. Emotional support animals are untrained animals (typically pets or other domestic animals) that provide wonderful services to their owners, and there are many benefits to having one.Service animals who are trained to provide specific services for an individual with limitations that make them fall under what the ADA defines as "disabled" are protected under specific laws, and must be accommodated in public places where the human they serve is present. While it may be beneficial to request that the therapist who "prescribed" the dog to you write a letter to the apartment manager, it sounds like the manager is aware of ADA guidelines, and the simplest course of action may be to find an alternative residence, if that is a plausible option.


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Agree with the apartment manager's viewpoint that your disability is not a physical limitation.Ask the manager if they'd accept an explanatory letter from a therapist who is licensed to diagnosis emotional disabilities.If the answer is yes, then find a therapist who's willing to cooperate with what you need from them and find out this particular therapist's terms of working with you to compose such a letter.If the manager tells you "no", then find out who is above this person or entity and find out how to formally introduce your request to the board or apartment owner, or whoever actually is the legal owner of the building.


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This is tricky because there are different types of emotional support dogs. The ones that are officially trained actually go through months of training and then are paired with someone for whom they perform specific tasks.You may benefit from looking at the blog written by Valerie Parrott, who has an emotional support dog due to severe anxiety and panic. I will warn you that her blog is very blunt, but she is honest and she has gone through this process: https://thedogintheroom.wordpress.com/2016/06/20/what-makes-a-service-dog/#more-508


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Ouch. It's really hard to deal with a spouse that isn't taking you seriously. In this case, I would plan for and schedule a time to talk with him about this. I would tell him that you need about 30 minutes to talk to him with minimal interruptions about something that is important to you. Schedule a time, write notes if you need reminders about what you need to express, and tell him how you feel. Ideally, you would focus more on I-statements instead of telling him what he is doing wrong. For example,  I feel ignored vs You always ignore me. By focusing on how you feel, he is less likely to feel attacked and get defensive. Some people go to couples or marriage counseling for help with communication. Chances are there are things that BOTH of you do that hurts your communication. Overall, try to talk to him directly and try not to get defensive. If he continues to say, you're always sad - then stay calm, say "okay, can you help me understand that more?" or "That's interesting. Tell me what you see."  Reach out to a couples counselor for more help with communication strategies. Sometimes a 3rd party can help you both see things in a different perspective. Hope this helps!


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I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
   How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously?


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This is so hard. It is hard for someone to understand what depression is without having experienced it themselves. Unfortunately people without depression sometimes mistake it as feeling sorry for ourselves or just moping around, which is not what depression is at all. Sometimes I think that it is easier for family members to see it as a choice than to admit that someone they love is hurting and they dont know what to do. If  he is willing, I wonder if there may be a depression support group in your area such as NAMI or DBSA where he could hear from from others living with depression and their families. If not, I wonder if you all might watch a documentary together such as No Kidding Me Too or Call me Crazy. If not that, ive sometimes encouraged folk to just leave some information on depression and how family can help like a pamphlet or handout on a table or around the house. We tend to get curious and read things we find on the table. Wishing you the best!


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It can be hard for husbands to hear that their wife is unhappy.  By nature men tend to be more of the fix it type.  So if they are sad, they fix it.  If their wife is sad, they fix it.  He may feel helpless to help you and that may be why he is saying those things to you.  It's not that he doesn't care or that he doesn't take them seriously, he might just have no idea how to help.  I would start by making an appointment to talk with a therapist about your sadness.  Meeting with a therapist may help you to learn some tools and strategies that can help you to manage some of the sadness you are feeling.  A therapist can also help you to gain some understanding and insight into why you might be experiencing sadness.  Depression is not something you have to sit with, therapy can help.  Once your husband sees that you are being proactive in addressing your sadness/depression he will probably be more open to listening to you and supporting you.  He might start to have ideas and input on how you two can work together to change some of the situations or things that might be holding you bakc.


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Oh dear.From what you write, your husband doesn't have any interest to know about you and your sad feelings.Stay clear in understanding that you already did your part by asking him to listen and care about the way you feel.In this example, he told you he doesn't care.Its up to him to open his mind and heart to you.Depending on how motivated to continue asking him to hear you, try until you feel satisfied that you've given him enough chances to know who you are.   At a certain number of tries at this, you'll either have success or not.Just don't try forever because doing so will increase your depressed feelings.


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It sounds like you are noticing that you are drawn towards sad and negative content and it's hard to understand why. This may sound counter-intuitive, but sometimes we do things that on the surface may look problematic (or even cause us some real problems) because it serves us in some unseen way. A simple example would be somebody who is addicted to a substance; their addiction may be causing serious problems in their life, and they may even know it, but the addiction serves them by helping them to avoid painful feelings that they anticipate having if they quit using. Now I am not saying that what you describe is an addiction, it is just a really illustrative example of the unseen benefit.One thing I would be wondering about is what is the unseen benefit of seeking out sad and negative content? I'd also be wondering what your relationship is to other feelings. These are things you may benefit from exploring with a competent therapist.


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It's not entirely true to say I enjoy being sad, but I always find a way to feel that way. I listen to sad music, read tragic stories, and, in a twisted way, like how bad it makes me feel. I focus on negative aspects of my life even if they aren't legitimate or I just make it seem negative.


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I applaud your courage in asking this question to gain some deeper insight into what is happening in your life. This is one of the most common things that I personally have seen in the population of individuals who suffer from depression. It is often that I notice clients focusing on the negative to the complete dismissal of the positive when they are dealing with depression. It is inspiring that you have noticed this in yourself because many clients are not aware that this is a pattern for them, or are not yet willing to face that depression has become a pattern they cling to. Depression, if dealt with for extended periods of time, can become a way of life, an identity of sorts, that is very difficult to part from. While you desperately desire happiness, who would you be without the depression? Sometimes it is scarier to journey into the unknown (in this case, happiness), than it is to stay in the known, and the often times comfortable space of your depression. Human beings, for the most part, fear and stray away from change in general, especially a change that is so impactful. Allowing yourself to confront the possibility of change as positive with the support of a professional counselor is often extremely helpful.


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Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is a term that reflects how many people are affected by the changing seasons, especially fall to winter.  Everyone suffers with some form of this (lessened activity levels, increased isolation, etc.) while some find that this time of year can put them into a deeper depression. If you have noticed that this happens frequently, there are some ways you can definitely help yourself going forward:1. Attend therapy to learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood.  It's important to stay within the therapy until you feel you have mastered these tools. 2. Push yourself to interact more with your social groups and other positive activities. It's easy to go out and spend the day outside in the summer months, when the temperature is warm and the sun shines for long periods of the day, but it seems harder to find fun ways to spend your time when the temperature drops and darkness comes on so quickly.  Perhaps winter time could become the time of year where you and your friends have weekly board game nights, complete with hot chocolate and a fire?3. You may want to consider the purchase of a S.A.D. Light.  These are lights that expose you to additional ultra violet light to increase the vitamin D in our bodies, as well as the release of growth hormone (which releases when we wake up). There are mixed reviews of these products, however, and they can be expensive.


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I would suggest some holistic approaches, such as getting your Vitamin D and iron levels checked. Make sure you are eating well, exercising, and getting outside when you can. Take a trip to someplace warm if possible. Use a sun lamp in the morning for 30 minutes to simulate sunlight. Seek professional health to gain coping skills and other ways to manage symptoms.


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Thank you for sharing. It seems like since the "winter blues" happens to you every year it may also be impacting your quality of life and possibly relationships. What you report sounds like you may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and is quite common to many from about fall thru winter seasons; but, also can impact folks during the Spring and summer months.The best care and treatment for SAD includes discussing it with your PCP (primary care physician), integrating light therapy (full-spectrum lighting) throughout home and workplace (where possible), psychotherapy, and possibly medications (e.g. Wellbutrin XL, Aplenzin).Be sure to exercise good self-care and checkout the Mayo Clinic's website for SAD here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/con-20021047.


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Light therapy is very helpful. You are not alone. The name for the condition is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). You might want to see a therapist to assist you putting in place a behavioral program to help change the way you feel.


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I am glad that you are getting ahead of this by noticing this seasonal pattern to your depression. Winter depression (seasonal affective) is something that affects a lot of people both people who also deal with other kinds of depression that happens to get worse in the winter as well as people who just deal with depression in the winter. Light affects how our bodies release and absorb neurotransmitters such as serotonin and most believe that a major contributing factor for winter depression is that we get less light when it is colder outside and darker outside. Exposure to light can make a big difference. If you are someone who is awake during the day (not someone who works the night shift :) )---one simple change you can make is keeping your curtains in your bedroom light enough as to let some light in in the morning. This will give you light right off the start of the day and can make it easier to get going in the morning. Beyond this, keeping windows cleared from blinds so that you get that natural light or even taking a short 10 or 15 minute walk each day can get you both light and exercise to help fight off the depression. Outside this, as others have suggested a light box is a popular method of warding off the depression however some of these may expose you to UV light and so this is something to check in with both with the light box manufacturer and with your doctor to make sure you have a good understanding of the risks and benefits for that. Lastly, just making sure you continue to do things that lift your mood, that you have time with other people, and that you reach out if you do find yourself in a space of needing help are all things you can do to ward off the depression. Wishing you well!


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This is actually pretty common. When winter hits, we tend to find ourselves huddled inside from the cold. Not to mention the sun is out for a much shorter time. It will be helpful to get as much sunlight as possible. Get outside when you can. Open up the blinds and drapes. Use a sunlight if you want to (amazon has some for reasonable prices). Stay connected to friends and family. Try to engage in activities that make you feel positive, productive, and connected.


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Cold climate is often accompanied by grey skies, snow and
ice. The elements along with wind, windchill and severely cold temperatures may
lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and low energy. For some people these
symptoms occur each year from late fall to early spring and may be suffering
from a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Whether you have
been diagnosed with SAD or are finding yourself struggling with the “winter
blues” for the first time here are some suggestions for feeling better and
staying healthy.1. Nutrition Most likely you have
heard the term “comfort food.” These foods and snacks are high in
carbohydrates, sugar and fat. Avoid overeating cookies, cakes and candy. Chose
vegetables, fruit and protein for snacks and plan balanced meals. If you find
yourself wanting to eat or snack throughout the day, ask yourself why you are
eating. Are you hungry? Or Are you eating because you are bored?2. AlcoholKeep in mind that alcohol is a depressant so consuming wine,
beer or liquor when already feeling sad, anxious or depressed will only add to
your symptoms. Do not consume alcohol while engaging in outdoor activities such
as snow removal, skiing, or ice fishing. If you find yourself reaching for an
additional glass of wine or beer be mindful and ask whether you are doing it
due to boredom. Instead of mindlessly taking another glass of alcohol, drink a
glass of water. 3. SunlightGet
out in the sunlight or brightly lit spaces, especially early in the day.4. Be activeIf you are unable to go to your favorite gym, exercise class
or go for a run, find a way to stay active in your home. There are a lot of
short, instructional programs available on YouTube that you can follow to do
some gently yoga, dance, or do strengthening exercises using only your body
weight.5.  Reach out for help
Confide in someone you trust about how you are feeling. Do
not hesitate to contact a counselor if you feel that you are becoming more
depressed and anxious. If you experience thoughts of suicide call the National
Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.


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First of all, it is excellent that you are self aware and able to identify the pattern to your moods. Many people suffer from the winter blues, which is called Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Some people notice that during the Fall and Winter months, they tend to struggle with signs and symptoms of depression such as sadness or hopelessness, lethargy, sleeping to much or too little, changes in appetite, loss of interest in usual interests, and possibly suicidal thoughts.  It would be best to consult with a therapist experienced in this disorder, as they will be able to guide you towards possible solutions such as changing negative thought patterns, light therapy, exercise, nutritional support, and possibly medication.


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Many peope uffer from changes in mood when the winter time comes. The amount of daylight hours decreases significantly. Most times it is dark when you go to work and dark when you return home. There are special lights that can be used during the winter season to counteract the "winter time blues." Also, paying attention to self care. Are you sleeping enough, attending to physical illness? Exercising and eating a balanced diet? Make sure to schedule fun activities and spend time with loved ones.


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About 3 million people in the United States suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Seasonal affective disorder or seasonal depression occurs during the same season every year. You might have feel feeling depressed the past two winters, but cheered up during the warmer months. Or you may have felt down during the summer.Everyone could get seasonal depression, but it tends to be much more common in :People who have families who have SADWomenIndividuals between 15 and 55 years oldIndividuals who live in an areas where winter daylight time is very shortNo mental health experts are exactly sure of what specifically causes SAD, but many think lack of sunlight is a big trigger. This lack of light could mess up your circadian rhythms or cause problems with serotonin which is the chemical that affects your mood.You might be wondering if you have seasonal depression or SAD. Here are the symptoms:Feeling grumpy, sad , nervous of having mood swingsAnhedonia or lack of pleasure in things you normally loveEating much more or less than usualGaining weightSleeping a lot more than you normally do, but still feeling sluggingDifficulty concentratingIt is so important to look at SAD in a holistic manner before getting diagnosed. In addition to therapy, it's crucial to see your doctor so she or he can run blood tests to rule out any other conditions that may be making you feel blue. One of these common ones is hypothyroidism or low thyroid. At Makin Wellness, we could do the mental heath assessment .TreatmentThere are multiple ways to help treat seasonal depression. Light therapy can be used, but counseling is one of the most effective ways of treating SAD. Cognitive behavioral therapy with a skilled therapist can help you learn more about seasonal depression , how to manage your symptoms and ways to prevent future episodes. Medication can also be prescribed and taken to help alleviate some or your symptoms. Antidepressants such as Zoloft, Effexor and Wellbutrin are most commonly prescribed for SAD. Be sure to talk with your doctor and therapist about any side effects from your medication.


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One theory is that instead of "fighting" your feelings, accept your sad feelings and work with them.   Feeling sad may open many doors to reflect and make peace with the source of your sadness.Also, I believe fighting against the natural cycle of rest and hibernation may not even be possible to succeed.   Winter for most creatures is a time of withdrawal and slowdown.  Our bodies and moods are part of nature as well.  Fighting what is part of nature seems like a tiring fight which the person will lose.Last point, there are the winter holidays to break up the dark and cold of winter.   Maybe you can invent some of your own winter celebrations so you'll have a few gatherings to look forward to hosting.


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Sometimes its quite literally the lack of sunshine that can affect our mood - in these cases it can be worth experimenting with a sun lamp, to boost your dose of vitamin D, when the sun isn't naturally out. Also consider, what is it that the change in weather, changes in your life? If for example, when its sunny you are an outdoorsy, active person and when the weather changes, you're whole activity level changes along with it, you could explore how to get some of that activity replicated indoors in the winter months.


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Change your total daily routine, different route, different lunch, different afternoon.  Sit outside for 10 minutes three times every day, use a therapy light during the day, aroma-therapy oils for stimulation, but....keep your routine bedtimes and wake up times......and exercise at least 3 times per week,  if after several weeks you are not feeling better....talk with your doctor.


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Seasonal depression can be difficult due to the weather being a primary trigger. Understanding that we have very little control over the weather, therefore we can focus on the things we can change. Exercising, meditation, guided imagery, and deep breathing can be beneficial to combat seasonal depression. It may help to join a support group and seek out therapy to assist you on this healing journey.


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There can be lots of different factors contributing to this. Here are some possible tips:Consider if you know anything about what specifically is making you feel sad? If you're looking for activities because you cannot participate in what you like to do in the warmer months, consider finding some indoor winter activitiesConnect with others. One idea is to join a group (such as a book club) that meets regularly. This could give you something to look forward to regardless of the colder weather.Enjoy the sunshine from indoors. You may notice that sometimes looks are deceiving women is bright and sunny outside, but is also quite cold when you open the door. If you are staying inside for the day, consider allowing yourself to enjoy the sunlight without specifically considering that it is also cold.Consider using a light box. Certain types of light boxes are designed to help with the "winter blues." You can find more information here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/light-therapy/home/ovc-20197416Recently, one of the nurse practitioners that I work with has been checking a lot of vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels and she says the lower levels of these vitamins can contribute to feelings of less motivation or energy than is desired.Each of us has days when we are not thrilled about the weather and may be feeling sort of "bummed" or "down." If you find yourself having these days frequently or for several consecutive days in the above strategies are not helping, consider talking with a therapist about more specific strategies that may be of help to you. Also, because  if everything you would see is likely to live in your area, they would be familiar with the weather patterns where you are and may have some tips that they use for themselves or With other clients.


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Going through a divorce is often a very low point for the people involved.Are you surprised that your soon to be ex doesn't help with your teenage daughter?Usually patterns and dynamics in parenting are not  sudden developments.Is it possible that what you're feeling now is more intensity to the stress of parenting by yourself, not that this is a sudden problem?This is relevant because you may be more familiar and more capable than you're giving yourself credit.  The lack of emotional support is definitely stressful.Your parenting skills may still be at the level at which they were prior to the divorce.Take your emotional weariness seriously and reflect on the various ways of stress relief which are available and interest you.Give yourself extra time to rest, nurture yourself and be flexible in finding what feels right for stabilizing yourself.Since you talk about your daughter and help in physical ways, if it is a matter of strength that you need, talk with your attorney so that the child custody agreement includes whatever is physically necessary in the way of strength, in taking care of your daughter.The Courts are very good at making effort that the custody agreement offers proper care to the kids.


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I am going through a divorce. He is extremely angry. He refuses to physically assist me with our teenager daughter. I have no extended family support. Often times, I feel overwhelmed, tired, and joyless. I feel out of control, sad and depressed on a daily basis. I am just going through the motions of life every day. I am in my mid-50s. I have almost 29 years on my job. How can I handle this?


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You are in the midst of a really hard time and it sounds like you have no help at all.  Search out a local support group through community counseling type centers.  If you can't find a group, at least get in to see a therapist who can help you manage stress and upset better.  Your sadness, depression and out-of-control feelings don't mean there is something wrong with you - they just mean that your circumstances are too big for your current resources to handle, so get some help. Take care of YOU and you'll be able to get through this.


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If you are a people-pleaser type or a natural caretaker, you can slowly "lose yourself" over time if you are always tending to the needs of others and neglecting yourself.  If this sounds like a familiar pattern for you, this may have happened without you even realizing it if you were raised in a family where you had to pick up the slack alot.  Maybe your parents were addicts or they might have even just worked all the time and you learned to "take care of everything" because that is what you had to do to help the family run smoothly. Over time, a person who grows up in this type of environment learns that you put the needs of others before your own.  You might also be stuck in these types of patterns in intimate relationships as well; if you completely give yourself over to your significant other and you don't create a life for yourself with your own interests and supportive friends, you are at risk of losing what is unique and amazing about you.  If you grew up in a family where you learned this role out of survival or because it was needed to take care of your family, it's easy to re-create this in adult relationships.In both scenarios, if there is no awareness that this "self sacrifice at the expense of others" is going on, your identity is shaped around being a caretaker/enabler/people-pleaser and down the road it can lead to depression, low self esteem, and a confused sense of self.  Basically, you spend so much time helping other people that you don't make time for yourself or create a life of fulfillment.  Before you realize it, you have been living a life for others instead of yourself and you have no idea who YOU are.  Supporting loved ones and friends is important and certainly admirable, but if you are always that person that rescues, those that rely on you begin to take advantage of you and they will suck you dry if you let them.  In conclusion, learning to set boundaries with those in your life that are too needy becomes a really important part of the process when you begin to recognize that you are unhappy and unfulfilled in life.  It sounds like you may be at that crossroads right now.  Take one small step at at a time.  Identify the worst offenders in your life that suck time and energy, and limit your contact and/or set some strong boundaries with those people so you can refocus and do some soul-searching.  Meanwhile, engage in pleasurable activities with people you enjoy being with, get yourself outside in the fresh air, get some good sleep, and eat some nourishing food!


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I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments.


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Give yourself credit for what you already know.For instance, you do know that you're unsure about your life direction. Take off any pressure on yourself to decide an answer in a certain amount of time.  Inner reflection work takes time and has its own course.   Trust that answers will show once you've done the work to understand yourself and circumstance, and the relationships in your life.From what you describe, your interest is in a broad scope life change. One direction is to start with only one specific part of your life you would like to change.  By examining one area in detail you will gain self-trust and confidence in handling your life.   And, you will have clarity as to which area to change first.


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Thank you for sharing! It can be very disorienting not to know what you want and where you are headed. Sometimes we are so focused on something we haven't achieved yet or on comparing ourselves to others that we lose touch with what we actually want and need. At times like this, it's important to go back to basics. Try out this simple exercise, take a few minutes to write down all your present responsibilities. For example: make meals, complete homework...etc.  Then in the column next to it, write down the things that you do for yourself to recharge yourself and to enjoy your time. Is your list of responsibilities way longer than your list of stuff you do for yourself? It is easy to get lost in the sea of responsibilities and disconnect from what you want and need. To fix that, write another list of things that you enjoyed doing in the past for yourself and start incorporating them into your schedule on a regular basis. This will help you re-connect with yourself, and bring focus and clarity to your life.


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Check this blog out:  Four-ways-add-self-esteem-friends-listHope you find a few nuggets of helpfulness in this.


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It sounds as if you would benefit from talking with a local mental health professionals so you can discuss some details.Having said that, I wonder if you could consider how you would define yourself to someone who doesn't know you. For example, honest, adaptable, fun-loving, dependable, compassionate, open-minded, dedicated, etc. If you're looking for a list of adjectives, try these: https://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/adjectives-personality-positive.htm . There is a list of negative ones here too. If you're going to use those, try to use three positive ones for each of the negative ones. You could also try asking yourself what you love about yourself and/or what others love about you. Sometimes it's easier to consider what others see as our positive points and if this is difficult for you, try asking someone who you trust to help you with the list.The idea here is to look at your relationship with yourself. I don't mean this in a way that you would be talking to yourself and receiving answers, but rather looking at yourself in a way that you deserve the same kind of loving and compassion that you give to others or want others to have.I'm also curious as to whether you are eating and sleeping okay, as these things can really affect your focus and many other changes, such as differences in your emotions. Also, you saying that you are struggling to put things into perspective leads me to believe that you are going through some things right now that are not typical for you, if so, consider from whom you have support and the ability to talk about what you are going through.Consider Metta meditation here to help give yourself loving kindness: http://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html


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Sounds like a sign of great unhappiness, or sadness, or insecurity.The real way you'll find out what this feeling is about is to ask yourself your own question.  Inside you are the only one who will feel when you discover the true answer to your question.Everyone feels some amount of discontent in their lives once in a while. Its normal to not feel entirely happy all the time.Try to accept your unhappiness as motivation to learn more about who you are, what you like, whom you like.Study yourself bc this way you increase the chance to find a road which feels right and happy.


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I'm not suicidal and wouldn't take my own life, but sometimes, I've wished for an accident to occur and take it. I feel like I just shouldn't be here and wish I wouldn't have been born so I didn't have to go through life. For me, it's a chore, but I don't know if that's normal or a sign of something.


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Trust and believe your own feelings.Emotions are real and reflect how someone feels about a situation.Since you're sad about losing a loved one, be patient w your feelings about this.  Basically, be guided by how you feel and eventually you will feel different emotions which I hope will be happier ones.


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I can't even smile or fake one. I can't feel happiness about anything and I can't show love towards another person not even my girlfriend. I hate myself sometimes. All I see is ugly.
   I can't get over the loss of a loved one and I'm not close to my family. What can I do?


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You're probably not going to like my answer.Your question says a lot about what YOU want rather than what she wants or what may be best for her. Sometimes, what's best for a person is the hardest thing to do, and may be completely opposite of what YOU want.Addictions don't happen in a vacuum. If you've had any experience with addicts at all, then I'm sure you've heard the term "enabler". A lot of the times, when people think they're "helping", they're actually enabling the addict to continue their self-destructive behavior. Tough love and clear boundaries are needed in a lot of situations, but especially with addictions. Family and friends are often the biggest contributing factor to someone choosing to use/drink, continuing to do so, or relapsing back into it.You said she recently quit. You said she is depressed. She wants to move. When a person receives counseling for addictions, they are encouraged to make changes like this. They need to break the habit, and this means removing people from their lives at times. It means moving to new locations. Anything that may trigger a relapse needs to be identified and removed. Not only that, but the addict needs to do a lot of personal reflection to figure out WHY they use/drink in the first place, and not only break the physical addiction to it, but deal with whatever is the root cause that led them to use in the first place. She may need some time alone to figure out who she is as a person, time to make some decisions for herself and do what she needs to do to be healthy.Don't pressure her to stay. Let her have the freedom to do what she needs to do. If she stays, the decision needs to be hers and hers alone. It doesn't need to be made under pressure. That will only lead to resentment. Support her, but don't try to change her or make her do anything, especially for selfish reasons. Let her go. It sounds like she needs some time to focus on herself right now. It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to do the same.


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My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay.


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I would say talk to her about her depression. The best thing you can do is let her know that you are there for her as a support system. I would encourage her to talk more if it helps and encourage her to get move involved in doing activities she likes to do. Also, getting connected in a community of people is important to help with feeling depressed. Encourage her to speak with a therapist or counselor to address her depression as she has made a major change in her life by deciding to stop drinking. She may believe moving is the best to help with this. You can share with her that you want her to stay and express to her how you feel. Ultimately, you will have to respect her boundaries and the decision she chooses to make. She may want to move and this may be what she feels is best for her life. If she does choose to move that will be her decision. It sounds like she is trying to do what is going to make her happy. Maybe staying in the city she is currently in is causing her more feelings of sadness.


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People often have very different values and opinions when they are drinking excessively and when they stop drinking so much.Did the two of you share drinking as an activity?  If yes, then did you stop drinking too?Often when partners meet each other as drinking buddies when one gets sober, the relationship ends.  Once the terms of any relationship changes, one possibility is that it dissolves.The best way to go is to start the conversation of what you genuinely want.  This is the only way she'll really know your thoughts.Ask her to give serious consideration and discussion over at least a few weeks or months, to moving away from you.  This is a fair request since you are in a relationship.If she's changed so much by giving up drinking, which is possible, that she no longer wants to be in relationship to you, then you are better off being without a drinking gf, even if the truth she delivers is a hurtful one.


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After stopping the abuse of alcohol, depressive symptoms are common. She may benefit from exploring why she wants to move and see if she would still want to move if she did not feel depressed. 12 step meetings can also be helpful.


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You should start by speaking with her about what has her so down. Have their been some significant events in her life that have affected her? Have their been significant events in your relationship that can be affecting  you both? If she just stopped drinking, she may be struggling to finding an alternative and healthier behavior. This is something the two of you can explore together. Also, if need be perhaps she can speak to a therapist to discuss her feelings about quitting alcohol. It sounds like you really care and right now she could use all the support she can get despite her pushing you away.


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Each person handles themselves differently in any situation.Since you are willing to speak about how you feel, keep looking for blogs and forums on whatever topics you feel most describe your current circumstance.Your mother and sister, even though they are family seem to prefer the opposite method to yours.Find your own path of supportive other people and possibly a therapist.This way you’ll have understanding and validation which your mom and sister don’t want to give you right now.


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I'm a teenager. My dad has been jail for the last five years. It's tough, but my mom really tries to give a normal life to my two sisters, my brother, and I. I feel like I took upon a parent role when I'm the second youngest, and I'm not stable. My mother and sisters say I'm overdramatic. I’m just so hurt, and I keep breaking down.


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It sounds like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders.I'm not sure what you mean when you say you're not stable and you are breaking down. If you are crying because you're sad, that is okay. If you are crying a lot or having trouble eating or sleeping, that's different than just crying sometimes because you are sad. It may be helpful to talk with a local mental health professional in your area. They can help you to figure out what you could do differently to have the role in your family that you would like while also supporting yourself and what you want.


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Good for you on being sensitive to your human need for personal evolution.Wife and mother are meaningful positions.  And in your case, in order to feel your own growth, other areas of who you are would like your attention.Give yourself time to allow your interest to wander in order to find the area of growth which will satisfy you.Just like you know now that you'd like more than your current situation, trust yourself to know you will also know when you've arrived at another road you'd like to take for your own happiness.


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I'm in my mid 20s with a husband and children. I love my family, but I feel like I've lost my identity, and I don't know who I am other than a mom and wife. At times, all I can think is what I gave up and how I feel unhappy and trapped, but I know I'd feel like worse without them. I loathe myself at times. I have an amazing life, so why can't I just enjoy it?


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Being a parent can be all-consuming.  And there are more societal pressures on mothers to be everything to their children and families.  In that effort to be everything (cook, housekeeper, planner, social organizer, teacher, etc) it can be easy to forget about being you.  We can certainly acknowledge that becoming a mother likely means giving up or sacrificing parts of yourself for motherhood.  There are parts of becoming a mother that can be wonderful and magical, and parts of it that can be just flat out hard.  I think it is very important however, for all parents to ask for what they need and to carve out the time to nurture their individuality.  This may not only be supportive to you, but it sets a great example for your kids about how to advocate for their needs, and teach them about the depth and interests of their mother.


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It is not easy being a wife and mother. You have shifted roles in your life. You went from having a career to focusing on your family. Transitioning can be hard, especially when we feel we gave something up that we really wanted. I want to acknowledge you for wanting to be the best wife and mother you can. I think it is great that you are self-aware and want to work on this.Feeling "unhappy and trapped" may also mean that you are  believing these negative thoughts are absolutely true. We have lots and lots of thoughts throughout the day. Sometimes we pay a lot of attention to some and some we ignore. Right now these thoughts are getting a lot of your attention and perhaps you are thinking because you are thinking them they are true.  Is it really true that you trapped? You also said that you have an amazing life. It doesn't sound like you are only having negative thoughts. You have some positive ones, too. However, you are giving a lot of weight to the negative thoughts, more weight than the positive ones.I also wonder if you are struggling with the fact that you are even having this thought. One thing that can be helpful is to recognize that you are having a thought, that it is a negative thought, that thinking it does not make it true, and to let it go. This is the basis for mindfulness work that can be really helpful. It is a great place for you to start so you can balance out your thoughts and emotions.Best of luck to you!


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It sound like there are some parts of your life that you really enjoy it and also some things that you wish were different.You say you feel like nothing more than a wife and mom, so I wonder if you could make a list of what else you are (friend, daughter, etc.). I also wonder if you could list your positive attributes or skills.I don't know what you gave up, but I wonder if there is some way that you could spend an hour or so a week working on things that you like and/or spending some time with what you did before you had children. For example, if you're missing a certain part of your career, maybe you could work with your husband to come up with a plan where you could do whenever that is for one day a week. There are often a lot of small changes that can lead you in that direction.Of course, that is assuming that you want to continue being involved with what you were doing before.  If not, what else do you want to do? What is it that makes you feel happy? What do you look forward to? Remember that looking forward to having an hour or two where you can do something for yourself does not mean that you are not a good mother or wife. These ideas can coexist.Can you talk with your husband about how you are feeling? Do you have trust for one another with feelings such as these?


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Thank you for asking this important question. I find that there are three steps to getting ready for treatment. Step one is expressing interest in wanting to receiving treatment for the outcome of positive behavioral change. Congratulations you did the first step! You are showing your readiness to start counseling by asking this question. Now the second step is to find a counselor who specializes in treating clients with Anxiety and Depression. The therapeutic orientations I have found to be helpful in treating clients with  Anxiety and Depression are a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Mindfulness, and Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Receiving meditation for your symptoms if part of the treatment, and the other part is receiving counseling to increase your resilience for future events. Research has found that medication and psychotherapy treatments together shows the most effective outcome for Depression.  The third step is to increase your positive self-talk to motivate yourself to attend treatment. As counselors, we are aware of the anxieties and fears that are associated with talking to a new professional for the first time. However, remind yourself that you are doing this to improve your well being. I hope this was helpful, and good luck with your treatment journey.


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I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years. I have been on medication, but lately my depression has felt worse. Can counseling help?


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Certainly counselling can help. however, there is a caveat, namely, you will need the right counsellor with the right approach. This leads to two questions: 1) What are the identifiers for the right counsellor, and 2) What is the right approach?1) What are the identifiers for the right counsellor? The right counsellor will almost certainly have a lot of experience. He or she will have done a lot personal work and have an ongoing practice of inner work both on their own and with the support of an experienced therapist. This person will be viewing you as a human being with challenges, not as a diagnostic category. He or she will be willing to work with you over an extended period of time and have experience doing such work. Further they will be well versed in approaches that are responsive to you in the moment and overall. The in-depth work will be collaborativel designed in an ongoing way that is responsive to you, the moment, your overall life experience, and their in-the-moment experience. It goes without saying that you will subjectively evaluate the felt sense of connection with this person and the feeling that they are invested in their work with you, value you as a human being, and value the connection. As well, it is crucial that you feel this connection and that your therapist 'gets you.' 2) What is the right approach?  As Carl Jung stated, "When the doctor sits down with the patient he (or
she) must drop all theories and learn the theory of this person." The approach must include a bond between you and your therapist that is in a continuous process of development, attention to pre-verbal imprinting, development of awareness ability, ongoing development of the ability to attend to and stay with inner experience, development of a process orientation, attention to egoic structures that were seeded from the earliest days in the service of perceptions of threats to needs being met, identification of current egoic states and work with these inner selves and their relationship with each other to facilitate movement from developmental points of arrest, increased ability to access and contain non-ordinary states of consciousness, attending to what is, and working with this in the service of moving towards optimal human development.depression is generally experienced as the system shutting down. anxiety is a signal that something is wrong. anxiety is not the problem. it is a sign that there is a problem. the core of these issues is a lack of inner security that is the outcome of insufficient bonding. the work of psychotherapy is to establish an environment and relationship that will facilitate work with the bonding ruptures and re-initiation of the developmental process that stopped at an early stage.


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My initial response:  consider a more comprehensive MH assessment to determine other factors. A medical evaluation is warranted to rule out poor health issues. Blood work is helpful. Review what hadn't helped.


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From whom do you get anti-depressants?This person should be talking with you to know whether the pills are helping or not.Trust your own instinct that the pills aren't helping you.Pills work differently for everyone and not all people feel better from them.It is also possible the particular pills have lost their effectiveness because after around six to eight months, this usually happens.Try to understand what is depressing you.  This is slow work since you may have many theories.Just by addressing your own emotional needs and life structure in a caring and respectful way, may improve your mood so that you'll feel less depressed.


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From the little bit you wrote, my guess is you haven't figured out where and how to lay down your own set of roots.Usually people who have a university level eduction are old enough to work in order to support themselves.Unless you have a medical condition which limits or prevents you from working a full-time job, would you guess that the effort and thought involved in deciding in what professional area and geographic location to look for work, would offer you a way to establish your identity?My suggestion is to pay more attention to your own likes, dislikes, and interests.   To know these areas more deeply would define the type of people with whom you identify, have a common interest and with whom you'd like to socialize.The more you realize who you are, the easier time you'll have to find like-minded others and feel securely at home with them and yourself.Again, if you have a medical disability or condition which prevents employment or easily socializing with other people, then this advice would need to be modified for your specific strengths.


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There are many people willing to lovingly provide me with a home. I have food, clothes, and a university education, but I never feel like I belong. Even when I have a good time with people who are supposed to be close, I feel like I'm just out with friends and I never go home.


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For some people, having a sense of belonging takes some time.You mentioned that you have an education and some basic daily needs. I wonder if you may be able to look at your relationship with yourself and what makes you feel happy, safe, and having a sense of accomplishment. If you have those feelings, I wonder how you define trust and who you trust.You say you have a good time with people who are "supposed to be close," so I wonder what keeps them from feeling close. I have also wondering if you have been emotionally hurt in the past, and if so, you may have some protective defenses that you use (maybe on purpose, maybe not) to protect yourself from being hurt again. Remember that this idea comes in degrees where you can be more perfect in certain situations and a little less in others. Being emotionally protected is on a spectrum or continuum, where you can make an infinite amount of adjustments or changes with different people and situations.I also wonder what it is that you want in your "home," and how you define it. Consider giving yourself permission to think about how you would define your perfect home in a world where there were no realistic restrictions (such as money or location). After you have that, consider what parts of that you can have. Perhaps there is a small part that you could make a reality within a week or so.Thank you for reaching out. If this continues to be difficult for you, consider seeing a local mental health professional so you can discuss some more specific details.


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First of all, I can tell that you really care about your friend and I think it's great that you are reaching out with your concern. It's hard to determine whether your friend would meet the criteria for an official diagnosis of depression without working with him, however, whether he does or not, therapy may be beneficial for him in working through these difficult feelings and relational challenges. Unfortunately, you can't make your friend get help. He will ultimately need to make that decision for himself, however, you can talk to him about your concerns and your hopes that he will reach out for help.


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I am really worried about one of my friends because I think he has major depression. He disagrees with me on that. He is shut off when it comes to talking to people and telling them how he really feels. He told me he feels empty inside and the only emotions he feels are anger and sadness. I suggested to him to get help and talk to his mom about it but he refuses.


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Maybe your thoughts require your attention and the best course would be to pay attention and follow them!If you're in an especially stressful or uncertain time in your life, then the best way through is to understand the tension you feel.It keeps trying to get you to know whats going on deep within you.Anxiety is a sign of stress and weariness.  Your thoughts are a chance to simply rest and know what they would like you to know.Then, when that process is finished your anxiety will no longer be necessary and will most likely leave you alone.


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I've become so jaded that I can't control my thoughts. I cannot focus on anything and been having anxiety attacks.


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I imagine that it's pretty disconcerting to feel as though you lost yourself.When you said that you are jaded, I'm not sure whether you mean that you are jaded toward someone, something, life in general, or some combination thereof.One of the difficult things about anxiety is that anxiety can lead to more anxiety because of being concerned about having another panic attack. Consider remembering that panic attacks usually only last a few minutes and the reason they don't go away right away is because of the way your brain releases chemicals because some part of your brain is reacting as if you are in danger in some way.As far as finding yourself, you may consider looking at what parts of each day you can control as a way to stay centered. You could also focus on something that makes you feel happy and/or comfortable.You may also consider the list of values here to give yourself an idea of what is most important to you, what it is that you are living by now, and what values you would prefer to live by. http://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/values-clarificationIf this proves to be difficult, consider seeing a local therapist.


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Feelings are real, is very unlikely that you are making them up since they are a response to the thoughts in your mind and your daily experiences and interactions. Often we assume that feeling sadness is bad and that we should only feel happiness and joy; but all feelings have a purpose: joy, sadness, anger, frustration, excitement, anxiety, among others.   Is not healthy to experience the same feeling for a long time, so we should learn to identify what causes them and how to process them so you can navigate through life experiences with more ease. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, currently providing services in West Houston.  You may reach me at 787-466-5478 to schedule an appointment.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Me he estado sintiendo tristeCuando salgo con una persona en particular o cuando llego a casa, estoy triste o irritado.  El sentimiento viene y va todo el día. No sé qué está mal.  No estoy seguro si estoy inventando los síntomas y problemas en mi cabeza o si algo realmente está mal. Los sentimientos son muy reales, y es muy poco probable que los estés inventando, por que los sentimientos son una respuesta tanto a los pensamientos que hay en nuestra cabeza, y, a las situaciones que nos ocurren día a día.  Muchas veces pensamos que sentirnos triste está mal, y que solo debemos sentirnos alegres, pero todas las emociones tienen un propósito y razón de ser, tanto la alegría, como la tristeza, el coraje, la frustración, la excitación o el desespero, entre otros.  No es bueno quedarnos estancados una emoción.  Así que es importante aprender a identificar que causa nuestros sentimientos, como procesarlos para poder superar nuestras emociones y movernos de una experiencia a otra con más tranquilidad. 
Soy Consejera Profesional Licenciada en Texas y Puerto Rico, veo clientes en el este de Houston y proveo servicios de tele terapia.  Para una cita puedes llamar al 787-466-5478.


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When I get around a particular person or when I go home, I'm just sad or irritated. The feeling comes and goes all day every day. I don't know what wrong. I'm not sure if I'm just making up symptoms and problems in my head or if there is something actually wrong.


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I understand that talking about our feelings can be awkward and using jokes is a way to relieve that awkwardness, but there is a right or wrong way to talk about your feelings. The important part is to recognize that you need help addressing those feelings and reaching out, which you are doing already.  Having small conversations with your family is helpful, you can explain to them that you have been experiencing emotional discomfort and would like to talk to them about it.   Since you been experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and have thought about dying,  It is VERY important that you ask them to help you make an appointment with a mental health professional.  Those symptoms indicate that your body is having a hard time managing intense feelings and it will be helpful if you understand why they occur and how to cope with them. You may contact your school counselor or you may schedule an appointment with a local therapist.  You may contact the Texas Crisis Hotline 800-989-6884 where you can talk or chat with mental health professionals or schedule a teletherapy session.   The National Crisis Hotline is also available for calling and texting 1-800-273-8255.I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, currently providing services in West Houston.  You may reach me at 787-466-5478 to schedule an appointment.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------¿Cómo hablo de mis sentimientos de depresión y con quién hablo?Soy un adolecente.  He estado experimentando episodios de depresión severa (si es lo que creo) por muchos años.  Siempre se pone peor.  He estado teniendo ataques de pánico, sintiendo que no puedo controlar mis miedos y sintiendo que ya no importa si quiero vivir o morir.  El problema es que ya no sé a quién pedirle ayuda.  Cuando intento hablar con mis padres, Me congelo y solo puedo hacer bromas porque nunca en mi vida hemos hablado de nuestros sentimientos. Entiendo que hablar de tus emociones puede hacernos sentir inadecuados, y bromear es una manera de manejar ese sentimiento incómodo, pero no hay forma correcta o incorrecta de hablar sobre tus sentimientos.  Lo importante es reconocer que necesitas ayuda para manejarlos, y ya tu estas en ese proceso.  Tener pequeñas conversaciones con tu familia te ayudara a explicarles los sentimientos que estas experimentando.  Es importante que les pidas hacer una cita con un profesional de la salud mental, ya que has estado experimentando síntomas que indican que tu cuerpo ya no puede manejar tus sentimientos y necesita nuevas herramientas.  Puedes contactar a tu consejero escolar, o a un proveedor de salud mental cerca de ti o por teléfono.  Mientras tanto, puedes llamar a la línea de crisis de Texas 800-989-6884 para hablar con un profesional de salud mental.  La línea nacional de crisis también esta disponible en todos los Estados Unidos y proveen servicios en español 1-800-273-8255
Yo soy una Consejera Profesional Licenciada en Texas y Puerto Rico, veo clientes en el este de Houston y proveo servicios de tele terapia.  Para una cita puedes llamar al 787-466-5478.


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I am a teenager. I have been experiencing major episodes of depression (if that's even what it is) for several years. It’s always getting worse. I have been having panic attacks, feeling like I can't control my fears, and I can't even bring myself to care if I live or die anymore. The problem is that I don't know who to ask for help. When I try to talk to my parents, I freeze completely and can't do anything but make a joke because never once in my life have we talked about our feelings.


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Maybe right now it is time for you to rest before the next wave of new activity comes along.To have "no interest" may mean you are already so saturated with recent situations and their meaning that you are naturally withdrawing in order to regain your energy.


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Any diagnosis is limited in its usefulness.Knowing the name of some typical ways you may feel, think and behave, doesn't help you or anyone to understand why the person is the way they are and how to change any of these characteristics.Both self-diagnosing and being diagnosed are equally unhelpful to know why you are the way you are and what to do about it.Consider yourself a person who wants to find a better way to be who you are, and this will get you further with better results than to read a list of descriptions which all are very indicting and negative sounding.


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I'm currently struggling with diagnosed depression, anxiety, and Misophonia. Also, I am 99% sure I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I read the DSM-IV, taken college psychology, etc. I know it in my heart I have them. Is self-diagnosing okay with the right research?


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Hello, and thank you for your question. Self-diagnosing is something that we all do about one health issue or another. Taking a guess about what may or may not be happening to us is completely normal, however the actual clinical diagnoses of a mental health disorder requires a licensed mental health professional. Here are a few reasons for this: 1. Making a clinical diagnosis often requires other things besides matching up the symptoms of a disorder. To come to a diagnoses for any of the things you mentioned, a counselor would consult the DSM, but they may also use some type of screening tool, assessment or scale. Many disorders have similarities and it requires someone with training to tease out the differences in the symptoms. 2. Our judgement is sometimes off when it comes to assessing ourselves. We really can't be objective. Something as serious as determining a diagnosis really needs to be done by someone who has that objectivity. In addition, once you know your diagnosis, treating it usually requires help from a professional. 3. Sometimes the symptoms of a mental health disorder makes self-diagnoses impossible, in and of itself. For example, someone could be having hallucinations or delusions and not realize it. That would clearly make it impossible for them to diagnose themselves. There a many examples where something like this could happen with different mental health disorders. There are other reasons, but these are three important ones. Now, does this mean that you are wrong about your diagnosis? Maybe not. You may be correct. But, it is important to get this confirmed by a professional mental health clinician. If a disorder is then found, you can begin to talk about treatment. Hope this was helpful. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC


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Definitely it is sad to lose friends who are a regular part of daily life.How did you meet the two friends who just moved away?   Its possible that you could look for similar situations and see if anyone catches your interest to know as a friend.Keeping in mind that friendship is based on trust and common interests, and that these qualities require time to observe and develop, think of what you can do to keep happy while these paths unfold.In addition to being open to meeting new friends, involve yourself in projects from which you'll feel satisfied by your own results.


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In the past year, two of my best and only close friends moved to different states. Now I have nobody to hang out with. I'm always alone, and I honestly haven't hung out with anyone since they left. I'm super lonely. What should I do to make new friends? Because they moved and I have no friends now, I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I just need help.


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I am so very sorry for how pressured and sad you feel right now.Definitely all family members have an effect on the other ones.From what you write, your family members are not considering the effect their negative comments have on you.Also, keep in mind that each person is responsible for deciding to argue or find a different way to discuss a problem. You are not in control of the other people in your family.More likely they take the easy way out and blame you for what they don't want to know about themselves.Stay aware that the family's decision to target you doesn't mean that you are doing something wrong.   Certainly your existence is not wrong, which is the degree to which the unfairness seems to have spread.What to do about it is read about family systems to see more explanations on how you are being unfairly treated.Also stay in touch with friends bc these are the people who value and respect you.


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I am the problem. I make my family argue because of me. My mom has even said it. It's constantly like this. I cause problems. I am worthless. I can't stop crying. Sometimes I have to cry myself to sleep. I can't even leave my room because my family can't stand me.


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One way to know yourself a little better and why the dynamics you describe take place, is to understand the particular dynamics of your life context.Look at your major areas of where you spend your time, whether you are happy with the people with whom you socialize, how you feel toward family members and how they seem to feel toward you.If you examine your relationships and life this way then you may start to notice areas where you have some control or at least a say in how your life is going.If you are socializing among people whom you don't like, have a job you don't like and your family mistreats you and you mistreats them, for example, then anxiety and depression are an understandable natural result.If you make improvements in your life and relationships, even tiny improvements and even the effort and intention to improve, you may find your anxiety and depression dissipating.People usually feel their worst when they feel lack of control in their life.Look for ways you can regain and/or strengthen yours.


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I'm depressed often, and my mind goes a million miles a minute. Every once in a while, things are okay for a few days. After a bit, I start noticing that I am picking at my skin profusely. After roughly a week, the anxiety is back and still picking. Sometimes I find myself causing fights to have change.


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Hello, and thank you for your question. I am very sorry that you are struggling. I have a few thoughts and perhaps some of my colleagues will add something else. Depression and anxiety can both be chronic conditions, as you have experienced. This means that they may always require treatment in order to have some kind of relief from them. Treatment could mean medication or some kind of counseling. Some people may take medication for the rest of their lives. Some people may go to counseling at times when the depression and anxiety worsens. As you mentioned, sometimes the symptoms improve for a little while, but they can also come back. When they do, it is important to talk to your medical provider if you are getting medication, and/or to go back to your counselor and talk to them about the symptoms that have returned. Skin picking and some other behaviors are not uncommon for people who are experiencing something like anxiety. Many people report that they do this when they feel anxious, and some say it calms them down. It is not really a surprise that you are constantly trying to change things and even starting fights to do so. These are ways to try to avoid, escape and distract yourself from the feelings of anxiety and depression. That is a very normal thing to do. Nobody likes these feelings, and so distraction is something we naturally try in order to get rid of them. The problem is that things like distraction and escape do not work as a long-term solution. In fact, they usually make things worse for many different reasons. Depression and anxiety can  be treated, but it is likely something you will need some help with. I would recommend finding a counselor who has experience with anxiety and depression. Medication can be helpful, but I still recommend counseling. The reason for this is that the medication can help with symptoms, while the counseling can address the symptoms and provide you with very helpful skills. Be well,Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC


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You have already taken the brave first step of making the decision to heal from it and find a professional that will help you do so. There are lots of different options nowadays for therapists, as you can see them online or in an office.  My biggest tip for you is to use Psychology Today or Counsel Chat to find a therapist.  Enter in your zip code and you will find many different therapists you can talk to . Be sure to find someone that you most resonate with and ask them any questions you may have. Many  times, therapists will provide free consultations and this can be a great opportunity to see if you are a good fit.


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The first step, which you've taken, is actually wanting to talk to someone. It's a great sign that you are seeking to reach out for help. And there are therapists everywhere (there are even therapists online, so you don't have to be that close to them or their office.)There are several sites that I refer people to to begin the process of looking for a therapist. I usually have them start with psychologytoday.com. Once there (there is a therapist directory), you can narrow choices down by ages that they work with, insurance they accept, depression as an issue they focus in, etc. You can also narrow down by therapist's modality, but that can get complicated if you aren't too familiar with the various theoretical approaches. It's important that you find someone that you feel understands your situation. That might mean that they identify an issue you are having in their profile, or on their professional website. But, you should try to meet a couple of different therapists if you aren't quite sure. It can be challenging that first session, but your best (note, not "THE best") therapist will help you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible, given therapy can be uncomfortable especially at first) and understood from the get-go.I have found that asking friends or family for names and recommendations Is also a common way to find a therapist, because it can come from a trusted referral source. But remember that we are all different, so what works for one might not always be a good fit. And again, it could take a couple of first sessions with different therapists to know if someone is a good fit (sometimes, it can take a few sessions.) And if there is no one around that can give a name or two, then searching online is quite common and can yield positive results.And try not to give up! Finding a therapist is not easy, but finding a good one for you is extremely rewarding.


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Hi,Reaching out here is a great start! I recommend looking for somebody in your area that works with people experiencing depression. After you've chosen somebody to try, feel free to call them for a consultation! A lot of counselors and therapists offer free consultations, and remember that your counselor is working for you, so make sure they are a good fit! I hope this has been of some help.


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Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org - they are great in moments of crisis.


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Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google "depression hotline" for where you live.  And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google "therapy' or "therapist".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!


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Sorry to hear you are feeling that way.    Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call?   Here is a website with some numbers to call:  https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-hotline-phone-numbers/      You could talk to your family doctor and they could help you find a therapist?   You could also use this website to find a therapist.  https://therapists.psychologytoday.com.  I sincerely hope you find someone to talk to.


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If there is no one in your life with whom you feel comfortable, I would recommend identifying someone on this site, psychology today or goodtherapy.org who is in your area, then give that therapist a call to see if you would be a good match.


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Depression has many different signs and symptoms and looks different for every person.  Often times people think depression is more about feeling "sad," but depression can, in fact, express itself through irritability (or bad mood as you say) and lack of energy.  According to the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), depression includes the following symptoms:-Depressed mood-Irritable mood-Decreased interest or pleasure in activities you usually participate in or enjoy-Significant weight change or change in appetite-Change in sleep (insomnia or hypersomnia)-Psychomotor aggitation or retardation-Fatigue or loss in energy -Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt-Diminished ability to concentrate or indecisiveness-Thoughts of suicide or plan The great news is that there are many ways to improve depressive symptoms.  If you are up for it, perhaps the best place to start is by seeing a physician or a therapist who can help determine how severe the depression is and can suggest methods of addressing the depression that fit your lifestyle, values, and capabilities.  Good luck!


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I wouldn't necessarily say you are clinically depressed based on
that first paragraph in your question. Because that could describe more
introverted behavior (people who feel more energy from a more internal approach
as opposed to those who feel more energy from being among others.) It is more
in the second paragraph that I would be inclined to say that further
exploration is definitely needed. The diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder is
more than just those two symptoms, but there are more mild forms of depression
that can be equally damaging to someone if left untreated.However, one of the trickiest parts of this is that someone who
feels they are not worth knowing may also believe they are not worth having a
therapist know them, and even less worthy of being helped. Do you feel that
might be you? If so, could we acknowledge that as a part of the big picture,
and all wrapped up in these feelings about yourself, and realizing that
thoughts and feelings aren't always rational (in that you are worth getting the
help)?My recommendation just from the information would be that you seek
out a supportive, listening ear in the form of a therapist, who can allow you
the space to express some of these difficult experiences, and help you name FOR
YOURSELF, what your struggle is. To empower you to name it for yourself, as
opposed to everyone labeling and/or judging you for it, might be an extremely
worthwhile start for you.


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I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks.    Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.
   Are they right, am I depressed?


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Hi, Depression can look different for everybody. It sounds to me like what your family is trying to tell you that they are worried about you, and think this behavior might be a result of depression. If what you are experiencing seems fine and normal to you, it may be nothing to worry about. It is very common to have thoughts of doubt about yourself and your abilities, and it may help to open up about those thoughts to people you trust. Developing relationships with friends and families can be a very rewarding experience, but it can take a brave person to reach out!


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If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you "don't have to live like this..."  Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?  Anyone in  your family been depressed before?  Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.


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I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.


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Although some people managing depression feel sad or "down",  it is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood.  Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat.  People managing depression often have low motivation. They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities.  People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame.   If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth evaluation.   The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem.  The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label of depression seem scary.  The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders.    Hang in there.  Healing is possible!


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Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the "in crowd." Here's a "secret" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line (https://teenlineonline.org/). It helped me when I was in my teens, and has helped lots of other teens as well. You might find a place to get some referrals to other local services in your area. If you want are in Washington state and would like to connect with me directly, you call link to me via my profile page. Or perhaps finding a counselor in your local area might be useful. Most towns and cities have some form of low cost counseling. You might also check with your school for assistance.Don't be afraid of not always knowing how you are supposed to feel. Adults don't always have a handle on it either. Being a teenager carries a lot stress, fear, and uncertainty. But you are not alone, and there is help if you reach out for it. I wish for you the very best, and bright future.


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The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept "depression" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way.  Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary.  Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!


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I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have "depression". Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future. I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.


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Sounds like signs of someone who is depressed.Since the person in question is your friend, offer your friendship to listen to any situations or feelings she has about herself and the way her life is going.Depressed people are often lonely people and feel as though no one around them cares or notices them.  Your willingness to be available to her may lift her spirits.  Feeling loved goes a long way to dissolving depressed feelings.Also, if in the beginning when you offer to talk, there is a high chance she'll be defensive and turn down your offer.Try again on another day and then another day.When people feel depressed they usually shut down.  So you may need a few or several tries before your friend accepts your offer to show her you care about how she is doing.Also, watch for signs within yourself that your friends' depression is not sinking your emotions.  Depressed people are draining to be around because they often see and talk about only the negatives and drawbacks of situations.


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She has trouble falling and staying asleep and she's always either extremely hungry or not hungry at all. She also gets angry and feels like crying really easily for no reason. She says she is always "kind of down."
   Is this depression? What can I do to help her?


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Sometimes the way to feel happy is to address all the questions you just described.Teenage years are the first time any of us starts to feel and recognize our uniqueness.  The fact that you recognize your great range of feelings, as uncomfortable as they may sometimes be, is healthy.Also healthy is that you are asking for opinions of therapists who would be familiar with when a range of feelings shows an out of the ordinary problem.One path to take is to reflect on the topics you wrote here and especially to ask yourself your reasons for how the problem started and what it would take for it to resolve.Do you have trust issues because someone broke your trust? You're entitled to a repair of your trust by the other person.   Even if the person never offers this to you, to know you deserve to be restored to whole, may help you feel more secure.The same is true with the other topics, abandonment and relationships generally.The more you continue to value your unique understanding, expectations, and standards, the more likely you'll create relationships which do not have these qualities, and you will restore your sense of hope that other people may treat you in a fair and kind way.


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I'm a teenager and I I go through periods of moodiness. I have extreme feelings (but I bury them), and then I feel nothing - just empty and emotionless.
   I have trust issues, low self esteem,ban extreme fear of abandonment, and I constantly reevaluate my relationships. I also don't know who I am as a person. I'm not happy overall, but I'm not suicidal. Can I just feel happy?


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What matters most is how you feel and what you're doing, with whom you're interacting, whether you feel you've got enough interaction to be happy.Whether or not a clinician would decide to identify you as "depressed" matters much less than how you actually are feeling, if you have some ideas as to what might improve your sense of being, and how to go about reaching your goals.If therapy during your childhood made you feel better and you feel you may be depressed, then trying therapy at this point in your life, makes sense.The worst that can happen is you find you feel better than you first understood.The best that can happen is you find a caring therapist who helps you find faith in yourself again.


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I had a very troubled up bringing and I'm currently dealing with alot right now. I know some people may not think so, but to me its a lot. I feel overwhelmed. Could this be depression?
   I use to be in therapy as a child. Alll throughout elementry, middle, and high school I had counseling 2-3 times a week. I haven't be in counseling lately though.


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How do you help yourself to believe you require more than what he offers to you?What do you get from this relationship which feels satisfying?To answer this question may in the longterm be the best way to help your bf.


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I think adult life is making him depressed and we often sleep in on weekends untill 1 or 2 pm. We just eat, smoke weed, watch movies, and he'll go on his phone all day. He doesn't seem motivated to do much and he's often angry.
    I have no clue how to help him take his mind off the negative, or to distract him into a different light. How do I help him?


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Your situation sounds extremely frustrating.You're doing the right move to state you don't want to discuss your depression with her.I guess you could ask if she would like to know your reason to not speak w her about your depression.  If you feel she can handle a reasonable conversation, and you would like to tell her your true reason, then schedule this or bring up the topic at a neutral time, not in the middle of an argument.Having an unsupportive mom is difficult enough to accept.  You may feel greater success and peach of mind to meditate on accepting her lack of understanding than to engage in arguing when she starts this.


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My mother is combative with me when I say I don't want to talk with her about my depression.    She hasn't been supportive of me in the past and she isn't someone that I feel comfortable opening up to. She constantly tries to instigate conversations where she asks me questions that I don't want to or can't answer. I tell her I don't want to talk and she starts arguments with me.    How can I get her to understand?


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Hello,While one can be sad from time to time, feeling sad "all the time" could be a sign of depression. If you feel sad on most days, it is worthwhile speaking to a psychologist to determine whether you suffer clinical depression. Feeling sadness is a normal response to loss, whether you lose a family, friend, job, or something you deem important in your life. However, feeling sadness all the time is a signal that you are not happy about something in your life. If it is related to your family and often relationship with family members could affect our self-esteem and self-worth, then perhaps it is worthwhile exploring what you find unhappy about your relationship with your family. Is it that you do not feel heard, supported or loved? Is it that you feel disrespected, disregarded or feel unimportant? These are just a few examples of common issues that people report that contribute to their depression. To help you to uncover your reasons for your sadness or depression and to cope with them in a healthier and more constructive way, it may be helpful to contact a therapist who could support you with this process. You do not have to deal with it alone. Dr. Virginia Chow, Montreal Psychologist. For more information about depression, please consult my website at www.PsychologyResource.ca


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I just feel sad all the time and I don't like anyone in my family. I feel like they're trying to control me and won't let me grow.


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Understandably the idea of someone who tries to control you, is good reason to feel sad.Your feelings sound like they are very strong and meaningful in your life.Keep in mind that your feelings about others has more to do with one's own self-view than with what the other person is actually doing.Unless the people in your family are actually interrupting and impeding your life in practical ways or by intimidation or other verbal ways to inhibit you, then there is a great chance your feelings of being controlled by other family members has more to do with your fears to be who you are than with any family members' actions.


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Thank you for posting.  I'm interested to hear some more information; such as, if you live by yourself or family, if you go to school/employed/unemployed, and what kind of things do you like to do with friends or by yourself.  Often times, when we are experiencing a strong emotion that we interpret as negative, we put most of our focus on that negative emotion and struggle to see that we do not always feel that specific emotion.  There are typically points in the day (even if it is for only in 1 minute intervals) when we do not feel that negative emotion.  When we overgeneralize, we use words like "always" or "never" and when we use those words and it may not be totally true, we feel the negative emotion based on an inaccuracy which is not fair to you.  Ask yourself some of these questions: Am I being realistic when I'm overgeneralizing things? Have I ever noticed a short period of time that I wasn't feeling anxious?  What do I notice when I am feeling anxious? What am I thinking about?  When was the last time I felt empathy?  What was different when I was able to feel empathy?  Hopefully this helps get you started.


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Empathy usually falls on a spectrum, meaning that some people show more than others. Empathy is the ability to look at the world through someone else's eyes or "walk a mile in their shoes." There could be some people in your life for whom empathy is easier to feel and those for whom you have no idea what they are experiencing.Empathy is not usually categorized as an emotion, but as something related to emotions. For example, you could have empathy about someone's anxiety.I'm not sure whether you are also referring to the idea that you don't have sympathy for yourself or others. That's a different concept, but also involves different degrees.When you say you don't have emotion except anxiety, I wonder if you are saying that you have anxiety all the time and it may be covering up other emotions? If you are experiencing a lot of anxiety, try to look at what it connects to and find something that changes your focus for a few minutes. This could be any number of activities, such as watching TV, cooking, reading a book, or many other options.If you are feeling as if you are just going through the motions and not having a lot of emotions about anything, if it's just been a few days, it may just be related to a current stress that will lessen in a few days. If it has been quite a while, consider tracking your mood and looking at when you do notice changes in your emotions. There may be some variations that you are not aware of.If you continue to feel anxious and as if you don't have as many emotions as you would like, consider talking with your primary care physician or a local therapist.


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Empathy is the ability
to tap into our own experience to help us connect with others in order to be
aware of how they are experiencing life. 
It is a skill that we learn with practice and refine as we become mature.
If you are feeling anxious, maybe you are able to understand better others who
are going trough anxiety.  But I wonder
if instead of feeling empathy, you may just want to find ways to reduce your
anxiety.  A good idea is to be very aware
of your anxiety triggers, and once you identify them explore other ways you
could react. ¿Sera normal que no sienta empatía?Parece que no puedo experimentar ninguna otra emoción que
no sea ansiedad, ni si quiera por mí misma. Empatía es la habilidad de usar tus propias
experiencias para conectarte con otros y estar consciente de la manera que
ellos experimentan la vida.  Es una
destreza interpersonal que aprendemos y refinamos con la práctica y según maduramos
como personas.  Si te estás sintiendo
ansioso, tal vez puedas comprender mejor como otra persona experimenta momentos
de ansiedad.  Pero me pregunto si en
lugar de estar buscando sentir empatía, realmente quisieras reducir tus niveles
de ansiedad.  Una buena manera es estar consciente
que activa la ansiedad, y ya que lo identifiques, explora que otras reacciones
pudieras tener.


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Love yourself more and treat yourself kindly, with empathy and compassion.Usually when people feel depressed they also feel lonely and isolated.  Since at this time you wouldn't want to tell anyone about the way you feel, which includes the possibility that a few of the ones whom you tell would offer you emotional support, give this to yourself.Also consider to make a goal of eventually telling someone whom you are reasonably sure would understand and empathize, about your depression.This will help alleviate the sense of shame, unworthiness and pervasive guilt which often comes along with depression.Sending you good luck!


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I know I need to deal with my depression. But I don't know how and I don't want to tell anyone.    How can I deal with depression without telling anyone?


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It can be really tough to tell someone - anyone - that you're feeling depressed. But finding that supportive person that you can share with is a big part of the battle with depression. Depression thrives on being secret, it seems to grow the more we isolate ourselves and hide it away so I'm with Laura Cassidy, when she suggests finding that professional support person so you can start fighting back against your depression. If that feels like too big a step right now, maybe check out a book or two... I'm a big fan of a book called 'Feeling Good' by Dr. David Burns if you want some practical thoughts on tackling depression and on 'Radical Acceptance' by Tara Brach if you prefer something a little more spiritual.


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Hello,It is completely understandable that you would not want people to know about your depression. I would first like commend you for realizing that you need to help with your depression by reaching out here. That is a great start, and you've taken the very first courageous step. Depression can feel debilitating and overwhelming. Depression is also a very personal thing and no one has know but you and the therapist. The best way to begin learningand dealing is to pick up the phone and call a therapist or email a therapist and schedule a session. The great news is that with professional help you can feel better and you will learn how deal with and manage the depression. There are many ways to help with depression that a therapist can teach you and help guide. You do not have do this alone. Asking for help and going to therapy is a strength! This can be done in a private and confidential setting.Depression should be treated by a therapist, in a safe, confidential office setting. The therapist can then discuss your depression with you in more detail to figure out the underlying cause, how long you've been feeling this way and identify what brings on these feelings. There is hope and depression can be treated with great success, you CAN feel good again. Depression can be managed appropriately by seeing a licensed therapist. Often times therapy will offer relief because you would have someone there simply to listen to you, validate your feelings and listen to your story. The therapist will be able to offer professional insight and perspective on the situation and help you think outside the box. The therapist can do many things with you, provide insight and offer many ideas to help you learn new coping skills and ideas of things you enjoy, encouraging you to re engage in hobbies you once enjoyed or even discover new things you may enjoy. There are creative ways to learn to cope too!Your therapist will also be there to support you, without judgement, at your pace, through the entire process. But the first step is finding a therapist and beginning to identify the cause your depression. Healing is possible and getting your happiness back is also possible.Feel free contact me for additional help or informationLaura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC


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Is it possible that even though your illness is chronic, that it goes through phases in which you are more comfortable and that it requires less focus from you than at other times?I think the idea of having a lifelong illness is frustrating and can be depressing to think about.  Thoughts are not necessarily the truth of what will actually happen though.Illness makes negative situations look worse so be sure you are concentrating on specific areas of your life and not just assuming they will work out badly because you are ill.One way to be happy alone is to love and appreciate, nurture and be kind to yourself.This frame of mind may generate new answers to find ways of being among other people too.


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I'm dealing with an illness that will never go away and I feel like my life will never change for the better. I feel alone and that i have no one.    How can I overcome this pain and learn to be happy alone?


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I'm so sorry you're feeling like things will never get better. Try to remember that whatever illness you are dealing with, you are not the only person to have dealt with it and you are not alone! Out there, just waiting for you, is a group of people that will totally understand what you're going through and will be able to share how they coped. Try searching for a support group for your illness - google and www.psychologytoday.com are both good places to start for those groups.


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Hello. So, someone made you happy but is no longer around? I am sure that feels devastating. As a counselor I usually have to ponder this kind of thought because it lends itself to suggesting that happiness comes from the external, rather than the internal side of a person's life. Happiness is formed within ourselves. All the external trappings of happiness are usually quite fleeting, and temporary. Even relationships fo not last forever. If we get to a place where we are reliant and dependent on those around us to create happiness in our lives, then we lose the opportunities for us to do it ourselves. We are entirely capable of finding ways to be happy. Sometimes this entails working out issues that are holding us back from reaching a place of peace, or resolution to a specific problem.What I would offer to you, is to find ways in which you can develop happiness for yourself. What do you like about your life as it is right now? What can you do to create change in your life to increase your happiness? These kinds of questions can be valuable to you as you seek out ways to make happiness an internal rather than an external event. Mourning the loss of a social connection (in whatever way that occurred), is part of the grieving process, but it is not permanent. It is a path to healing and moving forward. From this, you can seek out new sources of happiness. I encourage you to remember that happiness is independent of the external experience you have in the world. Happiness is an expression of the internal feelings, so that will be the source or the font of positive emotion from which you really draw. If you are lacking in happiness, then it becomes important to examine why that is, and what you can do about it to promote self-care. Seeking out a professional counselor can also be a good option as you move through the grief/loss process and examine the reasons happiness is not in greater supply.I wish you happiness for every day of your life.Best wishes.


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How do I make myself happy without the people who made me happy? Now that they’re gone, I feel sad. It’s been two months now but I seem to be unable to stay okay and independent.


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It sounds like you have been feeling pretty down, since the loss of a relationship, and you're wondering how to be happy by yourself. Intimacy is a very natural human desire and at the same time learning to enjoy ourselves, even when we are alone, can strengthen our ability to lead a satisfying life in and out of relationship. Working with a therapist, you may be able to gain insight into how you show up in your relationships with yourself and others and discover more fulfilling ways to do so.


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It is hard to make a definite diagnosis however I would say  that it could be and or a combination of depression, stress, PTSD, etc.  More background information would have to be needed.  One thing I would say is that you really need to seek guidance from a professional to work through these symptoms.  If what you described as a caged animal is released, all the crying, sadness, and controllable emotions will come out.  That would not be good when they do.  Get help before they do..


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I feel like I am internally screaming all the time. Externally, I am calm, but I have this intense, unidentifiable emotion constantly. I don't feel sad. I don't cry a lot. I feel rather emotionally distant other than the internal screaming. It kind of feels like I'm a caged animal.


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As far as the formal diagnosis of depression goes, it would be hard to determine without more information. It sounds like you are noticing that there is a significant difference between how you are feeling on the inside and how you express yourself outwardly. Part of you is quite distressed and yet it remains invisible to the outside world, almost as if it is trapped inside of your body. Many people who are depressed experience such things as intrusive thoughts, emotional numbness, difficulty expressing themselves, and bodily tension (caged animal?). In working with a competent therapist, you may be able to get more insight into what you are going through, the nature of the disconnect between you inner feelings and outer expression, and eventually gain relief from the distress as well as a greater sense of connection with yourself and personal freedom.


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It sounds like you are trying to find a label to help you to understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling.  Sometimes there are no labels for how we feel.  Sometimes there is no name for the emotions that we are experiencing. Regardless, you do not have to continue to feel this way, no matter what you call it.  If you are seeking to experience an internal calmness such as your external calmness, you may want to try some mindfulness practices or meditation.  However, being able to get at the root cause of what you are feeling may be what you need to help you release this feeling for the long term.  I recommend seeking support for this to allow this internal screaming to get some air and begin to breathe.


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First of all, I am sorry that you have been missing out on your childhood. It may help you to know that many of us feel that we have missed out on our childhoods, as well, and that despite such deprivations, for many of us, our adult lives have been extraordinarily fulfilling due to our opening up to trusted adults. I recommend that you find a trustworthy adult to talk to. This may be a teacher, a coach, a school counselor, a minister, a family member, or a friend's family member. If none of these are available, try out a professional counselor, social worker, psychiatric nurse practitioner, psychologist, or a psychiatrist. It is best to get a referral for such a professional from a peer who has had a positive and safe experience with a particular provider.


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I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn’t believe me, then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn’t believe me either. I’m a pansexual, but I can’t trust my own parents.
 I've fought depression and won; however, stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems, which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine, when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust.


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Life sounds extremely frustrating for you right now.As long as you've reached your conclusion that your parents do not take you seriously when you would like to speak with them on a serious topic, and that you feel unable to trust either of them, then work with your own information.Many people don't know how to listen and aren't trustworthy.  As painful and aggravating as having parents who fit this description, you're better off to honor what you realize than to continue fighting what is not in your hands to change.Since you write about having a similar problem with friends, then maybe this comes about because you pick friends who are similarly unsatisfying to be with as are your parents.The first step out of this dilemma would be to accept how crummy you feel about the way your parents are toward you.If you're able to live with the sadness and resentment of having parents who don't want to know how to understand you, then you'll start to develop a new and more satisfying definition of what you expect from the behaviors of your friends.Trust yourself that what you feel and see is accurate, then it becomes easier to trust and welcome new people who are formatted differently than either your parents or your friends who sound very similar to your parents' ways.


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I'm sorry you feel so alone and isolated, those feelings in and of themselves can lead to depression, stress and anxiety.  So job one is finding someone you can talk to.  A good friend or an open parent can be as helpful as a professional counselor, but if you don't have those, then by all means call your local Mental Health Association, suicide prevention, or go see your school counseling department. There are many of us now who do on-line, FaceTime, phone counseling so that is an option to consider in your situation.  On the other hand,  If you want to script a conversation with your parents (I'm a great believer in scripting) not that you're going to read it to them, but if you write down exactly what you want to say, read it over a few times before you're ready to have the conversation.  Why?  You'll be much more likely to do it if you're prepared, and you'll  have a better chance of saying everything you want to say in a calm but forceful way.  The same with your friends--you are probably a great listener and therefore attract people who want to talk--so you need to let these friends know you need something in return.  If you practice asking for equal talk time, then perhaps these friends will respond and surprise you, or if you make those demands you'll start attracting people who are looking for equality in friendships.  Now back to that script--first decide do you want to talk to both parents at once, or one at a time.  Then begin to write down the points you want to make such as:   I love you, and I know you love me but I don't feel as though I can trust your love to be unconditional enough to tell you who I really am, and how I really feel.  Find your own words to describe your own feelings.  If I can help, get in touch. You are right to reach out starting here, there are no prizes for suffering in silence and, as you already know, little joy in going it alone.


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One of the most difficult challenges we face is not being heard! It is incredibly frustrating and hurtful when others, especially parents, do not listen. While your parents surely love you and want to understand you, it may be difficult for them to fully understand your feelings and experiences. They are quite a bit older and have likely not dealt with some of the struggles that you face. I would suggest communicating your feelings to them about not being heard. Talk to them during a non-emotional moment when the discussion is not already heated. In other words, do not wait until an argument ensues to have an open discussion with them about how you are feeling. Prepare them by asking them what time is good for them to talk. Let them know you have something important to get off your chest. Try and avoid using exaggerated or extreme language such as "you NEVER listen," "you ALWAYS say..." and stray away from placing blame. Instead of beginning your statements with "you" try using "I" by letting them know how their behavior effects you. Finally, let them know that they are important to you and that having their trust and support would mean a lot to you. Perhaps giving them suggestions as to what you wish for and would like to see change would help them to better understand.I would also suggest that you seek guidance from a therapist, teacher, or school counselor if possible. Most schools have counseling resources on sight in which a trained professional is available to talk with students looking for help.Best of luck to you.


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First, thank you for sharing such deep personal information. It can be difficult to share such intimate information. To begin, it sounds likes your primary concern your desire to speak to someone who takes your mental health seriously. You've tried talking to your parents and your friends and neither have made that connection in the area you need. I'm sorry to hear that. it's unfortunate. However, I think a couple things can be done to try to address this. If you want support1) Parents- Sit down with one of them and tell them with all seriousness that you need to talk about something that is affecting you deeply. Perhaps speaking to both can be too much for one room. If you try to speak to mom or dad by themselves, it may create that intimate atmosphere needed to understand where you are coming from. 2) Friends: Like parents it can be difficult to speak to your friends about challenges with your mental health. When you're feeling down and anxious, friends can be great help or not their at all. With friends, it may be one of those things where you also need to create an intimate environment with one friend to speak to about your sadness and anxiety. If anything, speak to the fact you're hurt and help them understand that if they can't understand the depressionIf you don't want support Coping Strategies: Identify coping skills and strategy that help you when you're feeling down. Ideas:A.) JournalingB) PaintingC) ExerciseD) MusicE) Reading AffirmationF) Listening To Motivation Videos


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Teenage years are rough for anyone, and this is a time for self-discovery and experimentation. Having older parents can certainly pose challenges. Most kids feel like their parents don't understand them, but yours are older than the average parents of teenagers. They're from a completely different generation than you are. It sounds like they love you, but may not understand you. The problem here is the generation/age gap, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. What you can do is accept the situation and perhaps look at it a little differently. It seems like you're looking for affirmation from them, looking for their approval and understanding. It's never a good idea to look to others to define who you are or to get a self-esteem boost. Who you are and how you feel about yourself needs to come from inside, not from outside. One way you can have a better relationship with your parents is to stop looking at all the things you aren't getting from them that you want, and rather look at all the things you are getting from them. Yes, this is a glass half full or half empty point of view, but it works. The negative will overshadow the positive if you let it. Start looking for the good things in your relationship with your parents and your feelings towards them will become more positive.I'm not sure how your friends/peers made you feel like your childhood has been taken from you. That's a curious statement, and requires a deeper conversation to understand where that came from. However, I do understand feeling different and out of place, especially in high school. Find the strength within yourself rather than looking to others in your life to make you feel better or feel like a complete person. It helps to have friends and loved ones, but you can never rely on them to fulfill all of your needs. Set some goals for your future, work towards them. Focus on being the best YOU that you can be, and the right people will enter your life at the right time.


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Hi there. Being 15 years old can be a very difficult time in your teenage life. I remember when I was 15 and how I often felt my parents weren’t listening to me. It’s even more difficult when you feel that you do not have a friend that you can confide in. Having depression in the past and being able to get through it shows me that you can get through anything! Depression alone is a very difficult problem to work through. In addition to the communication problem with your parents, it appears that you are also struggling with stress and anxiety. We all have stress and anxiety in our lives. If we didn’t, none of us would be living. Anxiety & stress keep us on our toes! Often, I have to remind myself of this as well. However, it is how we manage stress and anxiety, so it will not overcome our lives. Are you familiar with relaxation techniques, such as: deep breathing exercises, meditation or yoga? Relaxation Techniques can help you tremendously in reducing your stress and anxiety. Deep breathing exercises are helpful when you are on the go, such as school, shopping, out with friends or whatever extracurricular activities you engage in. Most people do not take full advantage of their lung capacity. I know, that sounds silly. But, it’s true. You would be surprised how much air you lungs can hold. Imagine being in the Doctor’s office and taking deep breaths. This is what you want to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and/or stressed. Take a moment to take in at least 10 deep breaths and let them out slowly. You will be surprised how well you feel afterwards. Meditation and Yoga are also healthy forms to working through stress and anxiety. You will need a quiet place for your meditation. You want to be “in the moment” and take in the peace and serenity. All it takes is a quiet place, closing your eyes and thinking of your “happy place.” Some people use meditation music as well. If you have access to this type of music and or the internet for more ways to practice meditation, please go for it! Yoga on the other hand will take a little more work and practice. I would not suggest you learning this on your own, if you have never attempted yoga before. Find an experienced Yoga instructor to teach you the ropes and/or ask your school counselor about the possibility of getting someone to come to the school to teach the students. Lastly, in regards to your parents it is very important to be able to have a relationship where you feel comfortable communicating. I would recommend writing a letter to them, if you are unable to express how you feel in person. A letter is more intimate and requires a little more effort on their end. If they are open on working on this relationship, maybe suggest family counseling to fully work on this issue. I hope this was helpful for you and I wish you the best!


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A feeling of emptiness can be from a lack of awareness and acknowledgment for the things, the people, the places that you have in your life. The use of affirmation and gratitudes helps to remind ourselves of all of the aspects of our lives.


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I don't know how else to explain it. All I can say is that I feel empty, I feel nothing. How do I stop feeling this way?


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Your question is very broad because feeling empty can develop for many different reasons.You're certainly not alone in feeling this way!Try to follow the logic of your feelings by asking yourself questions about the empty feeling.   Doing this may open up a discovery about the reason for the emptiness feeling.When do you feel empty, are there certain situations it happens more often than another, what helps the feeling go away, what or who is helpful in relieving the empty feeling.Sometimes people need a little help to get started in understanding how to recognize their feelings.Consider a therapist, any disciplined practice which encourages self-knowledge, such as some yoga practices, and a creative discipline like photography or music. As long as you concentrate on increasing your self-understanding, eventually you'll find the answer to your question!


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It sounds like you have been thinking about how past hurts have influenced you, and when you try to talk about these hurts with people in your life, you are feeling invalidated. It also sounds like current conflicts are continuing to leave you feeling hurt and devalued. In working with a therapist, you may be able to get some clarity about your past, who you are, and what kinds of boundaries you want in your relationships, so that you can lead a life that is more satisfying to you.


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People who are parental figures in my life have, in the past, hurt me, and some continue to do so. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for my husband or the life he provides me. I have had jobs, but I am going through a lot of my past garbage and trying to figure out when it all went wrong. Any time I bring these things up, I am expected to be over the issue. These are people that you can't just cut out, but I have never received apologies for so much of my pain. I don't know what to do any more. I don't know who I am anymore.


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Hello. Adults who come from abusive home histories (physical, emotional, or even psychological), may take a long time to heal from that abuse. We carry our past with us everywhere we go, and it is up to us to find resolutions to past hurts. This is often easier said than done, but it is possible. From the perspective of those with whom you have shared your concerns, it might be assumed that based on where you are in life and who you are now, that you have already worked through any issues from your younger years. Some of our deepest scars in life are indeed invisible and suppressed. We have to get to the place where we can take care of the inner child that is still hurting, by recognizing that those who hurt us - however they did, might have had their own challenges which prevented them from functioning and behaving in ways we might have deeply needed. Those who have directly hurt you, may not be capable of acknowledging and understanding how you were affected by their actions - even in the worst of cases. They themselves may be doing what they can, either out of shame or heartbreak for their own actions, to work on forgetting how they behaved toward you all those years before. How are they behaving toward you now? Can you find it in your heart to forgive those who have hurt you? Forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves, and isn't dependent on an apology from an offender. By forgiving (even in the absence of any apology), we are releasing the weight of the burden we are carrying that reflects the offense we feel was committed against us. Sometimes therapy can be helpful in this process. Talking with someone who can be non-judgmental and reflects an empathetic position toward you might be what you need right now. Seeking out a therapist to help you work through these negatives feelings and thoughts is much easier, than trying to go it alone. I would encourage you to reach out and find someone who resonates with you on that journey, so that you can begin a path toward healing.Warm regards,Shawn Berthel, M.S., LMHC


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It sounds like a tough time and it's normal to feel down when your family is going through a divorce or other hardship. There's a difference between feelings like sadness, discouragement, grief, loneliness and depression, though. Sadness is sadness and sometimes we have to go through a grieving or other process, that is a normal reaction to events in our lives. Depression, on the other hand, is more about being stuck. Lulling yourself with self-care sounds like a healthy response and a way to give yourself support. So as to the uncomfortable but healthy part of your feelings, do the best you can to put names to it and share with a trusted other person. You will find comfort. The part of your situation that's depression -- feeling stuck, not able to get out of bad, concentrate, changes in sleeping and eating, loss of enjoyment in living, poor hygiene, feelings of hopelessness, that's different. First step, identify your own symptoms of depression. If you have any thoughts of hurting yourself, tell someone. If you're not sure, you can try 800-lifenet or other support line to get feedback. First aid for depression includes: daily care and feeding, good sleeping and eating, lots of exercise--even when you don't feel like it-- healthy socializing, and focusing on talking to yourself in a positive way. If you aren't able to move yourself out of your depression,  work with a professional to make short-term goals and get some support. You may also talk to your doctor or psychiatrist about trying an anti-depressant to give you a little lift while you go through a rough patch.Best wishes,Karen


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I am going through a very hard time and I'm so depressed. My parents are getting a divorce and a lot of bad things are happening. I want to lull myself.


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Consider yourself quite normal for feeling overwhelmed and depressed about your parents divorce.   This is the most natural way to feel at this time.Depending on how old you are, and whether you live under their roof,  are dependent on their support, and are either part of the decision or not, of with whom and where you will live, start considering these points.How did you find out about the upcoming divorce?Are either of your parents reluctant to answer your questions or is it clear that neither of them want to talk about anything with you?Whatever your fears and questions about your own future, these are all real.  It is necessary for you to know about your basic future.If you are living on your own and the main problem is your inner adjustment that your family structure is completely changing, then probably a good therapist would be a great help to you now, to clarify these tensions.Sending lots of good wishes for an easy resolution to your new path!


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I couldn't help but notice that you did not specify your age, so I am unable to set the total chronological order and length that you have suffered in this way, but I want to start by commending you on seeking out additional coping techniques on your own.  Unfortunately, it sounds like you were offered some that were more dangerous than helpful, but be proud that you were able to curb those before they caused too much harm. From what you have written, stress has always been a difficult thing for you to manage.  Often, when I am working with those who offer the same concern, there is a degree of people pleasing that comes with that stress.  When we are trying to make others happy, especially when we are unable to distinguish the proper "rules for success", it can make even the simplest of tasks overwhelming. Stress management is just that, management; of our own anxieties about the needs of others, about our skills and the ability to complete a task and having multiple requests at any given time. Each of these aspects requires a separate sets of "tools" to manage them accordingly. For example, assertiveness communication training could aid in communicating with your colleagues to manage their expectations of your deadlines and abilities, but it will not assist you with managing your own anxieties. Try to separate the different areas of the problem, in order to help yourself to find a solution and work on them in their own time. Perhaps keeping a journal will help you to better understand why you are so easily overwhelmed by stress and help you track some of your less-helpful responses to stress. For example, does a certain person's style of communication always make you feel undervalued and therefore push you to finish their requests first? Is there a certain time of the day where you start to fall off in productivity?  Is that the time fo the day where you also tend to pile up your requirements?Try to ask yourself some of these harder questions and see where they lead you.


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My depression has been reoccurring for a long time. It all started when I was being bullied in high school. In ninth grade, my principal told me I needed to stay home for a couple days to protect myself while she spoke to my classmates. I needed professional help for my stress because I was having crying spells from the stress of going to school and confronting my classmates. After that, I was fine for a couple of years. I entered my first year of college in a really tough program with high demands of expected work. I believe my depression re-booted from there with the stress. I began to cut myself because a friend of mine at the time told me how she used to do the same and it used to feel good for her. Obviously, that wasn't the right choice. I regret ever doing that, seeing as even though I'm not self-harming anymore, I always look back at that time whenever I feel very stressed. I have a big problem with handling problems in life. Whenever a problem arises, I get stressed and I feel hopeless, as if it's not going to get better. I get way too stressed from my problems, which leads to overreacting a lot (especially when talking to others), which then leads to depression. I have a hard time coping with stress because I know that if I could handle it easily then I wouldn't be sad all the time, and I would say and do the right thing instead of overreacting to my loved ones.


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It sounds like you have been struggling with this for quite some time, using many of the same coping techniques that feel tried and true to no avail. Often, we fall back on coping techniques that would be helpful in other problems (stress, social anxieties, etc.) for our depression, but the truth is that depression requires it's own little tool kit. Depression is all-encompassing, and, based on what you've written, the symptoms are already affecting work and your personal life in myriad ways.  The best route forward would be to seek out counselling, admittedly, but if your insurance deductible is too high, that can be very expensive. I would recommend contacting your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) if offered by your employer. If not, you can look into community centres for counselling options, check if your doctor will give you a referral or your local religious organization. If, however, you are motivated to get your depression under control, there are some great workbooks out there that you can use on your own or with your therapist (as long as your therapist is trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT), such as "Mind Over Mood".


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I've been depressed for quite a while. I've been trying to work through it, and my boyfriend has been my rock. He is honestly the only person I trust enough to talk to about anything, but he decided to break up with me because of my depression. I cannot afford to see a therapist or anything, so he saw no hope in staying with me. My insurance has a $5000 deductible, so I’m screwed. I've had everything from suicidal thoughts to trying to quit my job. I have no one. My family doesn't care about me; they kicked me out when I turned 18 a few years ago. I had friends, but they have all moved on with their lives and have no time for me. My ex-boyfriend is trying to help but is making things worse because every time I see or hear him, I break down into tears. I found out that I will never be promoted now because of my depression.


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Hello, and thank you for your question. This is a very serious time. I don't mean to frighten you, but you are right to be concerned. The time right after people leave the hospital after receiving psychiatric services is a time of high risk for suicide. It is very important, after hospitalization, to get follow-up care with a professional as soon as possible. If your husband has an established therapist, this is the time to call. It is also a good time to alert your support system of friends, family, clergy or others to let them know he is still struggling. This is good support for him AND you.It is important to think about means and opportunity to make another attempt. Means really do matter.  So, if you have a firearm in the home, it is really important to remove it. You can't remove all things that a person may hurt themselves with, but some things are more lethal than others. Firearms are very lethal. I am not sure what means he used last time, but try to reduce the opportunity for him to access it again. This is where your support system can help out. People can take turns hanging out with him until you are sure the crisis is over.If you believe that an attempt is going to occur, talk to your husband about going back to the hospital. If he refuses, you will want to find out what your options are to have him go even if he doesn't want to. I know the thought of that really hurts, but it can save his life. Calling 9-1-1 is always a good option if you are not sure. Usually a suicide crisis, meaning they want to harm themselves right now, lasts a few minutes, hours or days. Sometimes when you get them through the crisis stage, they no longer want to commit suicide. But, as you are indicating, that feeling of wanting to commit suicide can come back again. So, it is always good to have a plan. If you want more information, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They will always answer: 1-800-273-8255. They can help you create a specific safety plan. I do hope things work out alright. Be well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC


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After he got home from the hospital he was angry, then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again.


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This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis.  He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal people are in their own isolation, also called a "mysterious isolation," a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit.  And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others. Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer.  They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.


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I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.   While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.  If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.


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This must be so difficult for both of you.  Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings.  Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you. First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing.  He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings.  Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful.  On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress.  The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband.  Sending warm wishes your way.  -Sarah


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I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow. Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. "How are you doing today?" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. "I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me." Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know. If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.


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A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a “cry for help,” however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It’s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts. With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself.  Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, “put your oxygen mask on first.” Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSW[email protected]


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The fact that you're reaching out for help here is really helpful.The first thing I would suggest is that you consider seeing a local mental health professional yourself to be able to talk about the details, how this is affecting you, and how you can hold onto you are while also being supportive to you husband.From the way that you describe this, I wonder what has changed since coming home from the hospital. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your husband this and mention that you are asking him questions to learn more about his experience and you can discuss how you notice that things were going much better when he came home from the hospital, and now things are not as good. Perhaps he can tell you about what is different so that you may know him would be most helpful to him.I also hope that you husband is still continuing with his own treatment.There may also be a local peer support telephone number for the county that you live in that they be able to help you determine whether your husband needs more immediate treatment if he is feeling hopeless again. There are national crisis telephone numbers listed below as well.


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Since as husband and wife your lives are closely joined, how your husband feels greatly influences the way you feel.Give yourself some time to concentrate on how you've been affected by your husband's suicide attempt.   Even if you decide against immediately telling him how you're feeling, knowing this about yourself will guide how and the topics you bring up with him.Is your husband talking easily with you?Do you have some ideas as to what is creating his feeling of hopelessness?The ideal approach would be if the two of you are able to discuss what bothers him and what bothers you.Depending on how far away you each are from such a position, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed professional therapist who can guide you and or you and your husband on opening up for discussion what feels stressful enough to merit taking one's own life.


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It seems like you are very receptive of your husband’s emotions and want to support him trough this time.  But it is also important of being aware of your emotions.  How are you feeling after the suicide attempt?  It is common to experience negative feelings while you try to make sense of the incident.  Feelings like anger, shame, guilt and fear are frequent; while, wanting to avoid, minimize and become distant from the person are parts of the defense mechanism to attempt a quick resolution.  Once you understand and overcome those feelings you may be in a better position to help your husband; who may be experiencing some negative feelings as well.First, it is important to have a safety plan in place, which includes removing harming objects from the home, knowing who to call if there’s a new attempt (either 9-1-1, or nearby treatment center), have a professional expert who monitors you and your husband’s progress, either a Counselor or mental health provider could help you manage negative feelings and identify ways to handle triggering situations.Once the safety plan is in place,  make him feel supported and not judged, saying open ended statements, like: “I am glad that you are here, please let me know what I can do to help you through this process”.  Making small changes toward a healthier living may help as well.  Exercising, eating healthier and practicing new leisure activities may be good ways to start.  Also, explore your spirituality and your husbands, looking for ways to encourage each other by joining a support group or finding people who share your spiritual beliefs.If you have more questions or concerns I offer teletherapy in the State of Texas, and traditional Counseling in Puerto Rico, call 787-466-5478. ¿Cómo puedo ayudar a mi esposo después de un intento de suicidio?Después de que el llego a casa del hospital estaba enojado, luego por un tiempo maravilloso.  Ahora está deprimido y sin ánimos.Parece que estas muy atenta a los sentimientos de tu esposo, y que lo deseas ayudar durante este momento de su vida.  Pero también es importante estar consciente de tus propias emociones.  ¿Cómo te has sentido luego de este intento de suicidio?   Es común que experimentes emociones negativas mientras los recientes sucesos hacen sentido.   Sentimientos como coraje, vergüenza, culpa y miedo son comunes, y el querer evitar, minimizar o distanciarte son mecanismos de defensa igualmente comunes.  Ya que comprendas y superes estos sentimientos,  estarás en una mejor posición para ofrecerle ayuda, recuerda que tu esposo también debe de estar experimentando sentimientos negativos. Es muy importante tener un plan de seguridad, esto incluye remover todos los objetos que pueden ser dañinos o facilitar un futuro atentado, saber a quién llamar en caso de una emergencia (9-1-1 o una clínica de emergencias cercana),  tener un experto que monitoree tu progreso y el de tu esposo, puede ser un Consejero u otro experto de salud mental que te ayude a manejar los sentimientos negativos y situaciones retantes.Ya que el plan de seguridad sea activado, crea un ambiente donde tu esposo se sienta apoyado y no juzgado.  Utiliza frases abiertas para comunicarte, dile que estas feliz de que este contigo, y quieres saber cómo puedes ayudarlo durante esta etapa.   También haz cambios pequeños para mejorar su calidad de vida como pareja.  Hacer ejercicios, comer más saludable y compartir actividades puede ser un buen comienzo. Explorar tu espiritualidad y la de tu esposo también puede ser de ayuda, y encontrar personas o grupos que compartan esos mismos intereses puede ser una manera de mantenerse motivados.Si tienes más preguntas o preocupaciones sobre el tema, ofrezco teleterapia en Texas y Consejería Tradicional en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478 para más información.


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You are describing some of the most common symptoms of depression: low self esteem, difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, sad mood, feelings of hopeless and feelings of worthlessness. A full assessment/evaluation with a mental health professional is warranted to understand if indeed you meet criteria for a Major Depressive Disorder i.e.., are delressed. One thing I often tell patients is that "Do you think you are depressed?" People often answer yes or no, but many individuals respond with a question: How would I know? To that I often explain that if I stopped watching movies or better, stopped enjoying watching movies that would be a clear indication for me that I am delressed. It would be a sign that I have lost pleasure or interest in the activity that I typically enjoy most . I'll ask you to think of one activity which you really really enjoy.  It could be anything from reading, to being with friends, to skiing to watching tv.  I would like to now ask you if you have stopped enjoying that activity or can't find the motivation to engage in it? This is another symptom of depression: loss in pleasurable activities. The good news is that there are many effective, available treatment if you are indeed in a depression or simply, you want to modify/decrease your depressive symptoms i.e., you want to stop feeling so tired and so worthless. Treatment includes one or more of the following: psychotherapy, medication, exercise. Any one or combination of both of these can help to improve your mood. The even better news is that feeling that you are doing something wrong can diminish with appropriate treatment over time.  I hope you find this information helpful. The most important next step is to get evaluated by a mental health professional typically a psychologist or psychiatrist, and for both you and the professional to better understand your symptoms and your mood in the context of what is going on in your life.


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I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. Everything I do is crappy. I want to cry all the time. I can't eat or sleep.


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Sometimes repressing anger can lead to depression and block all kinds of other emotions too.  I would wonder about your experience with anger and if you've ever been discouraged from expressing anger.  I would also wonder if you feel like you have space to express yourself in your relationship or if you feel like you really aren't being heard.  It's hard to feel cared for and connected to someone else when you don't feel accepted by them.


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I no longer carry expressions on my face, and my emotions are decreasing the more I have fights with my fiancée.


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Sometimes when we fight a lot with our partner, it becomes more uncomfortable to share emotions because it feels like it will lead to another flight or disagreement.You could try having a conversation when you're not fighting and starting it out by saying that you would like to discuss something important to you and see if your fiancée is open to that.Something else is that you could have an agreement that if one of you is having a really strong emotions in a difficult conversation and would like to break from the conversation, you could agree (ahead of time) that you'll say that you would like a "timeout" and will come back to discuss the issue in a certain amount of time (usually about an hour) and then try to resume the discussion. The reason this can work is it can give you a chance to calm down and then still go back to the discussion rather than not talking about it again. This only works if both of you agree to that before something starts, though.


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Hi Georgia, There's a really good lesson here. People tell us things, and we tend to think that's the truth...but it's not! I'll do some translating for you..."You're so ungrateful" means "I need you to be successful and happy in order for me to feel I'm a good parent"."You're too young to be depressed" means "I don't want to deal with your mental health issues right now. I'll pretend it's not happening so I don't have to face my fear and shame"."It's only going to get worse" just means "I don't know how to support you beyond scaring you into wanting to at least fake happiness for my sake".Your parents are being unsupportive, not because you're not suffering, but because this is all they're capable of right now. They are not where you will find the support you need, so keep looking for it in other places. It's out there. If might be an aunt or a friend, or a friend's aunt. It might be a therapist or a bus driver or your family doctor. Keep looking for someone who will hear you. I hope you don't ever give up. :)


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I'm depressed. I have been for years. I hide it from everyone because I'm scared of the reactions I'll get. Last time I tried telling my parents, it was a huge argument about me being too young to be depressed (I’m a legal adult), calling me ungrateful, and telling me that if I can't handle things now, it's only going to get worse in the future (which is turning out to be true). It's exhausting pretending to be okay, and I don't know how much longer I can try. I'm just really tired, and sadly, I can't afford the help I need on my own.


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Don't think that you can't afford the help you need on your own.  There are several counselors that see people on a sliding scale that can be as low as $5 (based on your income).  Find a center that is non-profit, they have great counselors as well. It sounds like you know what you are experiencing and know that you need someone to talk to, someone that is willing to listen.  Your parents may not understand what your are feeling right now and that is not totally abnormal.I would encourage you to seek help immediately so you can live the best live you can...which is not being depressed.


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Is it possible you simply didn't mix well with the particular therapists with whom you've worked?   If this is possible, interview a therapist before  starting therapy.   Then you will be choosing a therapist who feels compatible with your way of seeing yourself and your life.Also, therapy isn't for everyone.Read about the different healing modalities and see if one of these speaks to your interest in feeling better.What matters most is finding among all the legitimate healing methods, what you believe will be effective.


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I have terrible anxiety and depression. I've tried various therapists and pills, but nothing's helped.


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I'm sorry that you have tried several different things and not had much relief.I will say that there are several different types of medications that may help and each therapist is different, so it is quite possible that a different combination of things you've already tried may be helpful.I would encourage you to continue trying different therapists. I would say to give each one at least six sessions before you decide that the approach that they are using is not working for you. Also, most places have a certain sort of structured initial session that must be done, but after that, the decisions are largely up to what you and the clinician feel is helping. If something is or is not working, communicate this with your therapist. This is a big deal. Most therapists I know actually welcome this feedback.There is a fair amount of research into the idea that the therapeutic alliance (the relationship that you have in the context of working through the reasons that brought you into therapy) is very important. Also, sometimes anxiety and depression can make it difficult to go to therapy on a regular basis. If that is something with which you are struggling, I would encourage you to talk about that as well.In addition to a solid relationship with a therapist who you connect with, you may consider trying something like yoga or meditation. Mindfulness is sometimes helpful as well.Here's a link to questions for finding suitable therapists: http://www.pharmatherapist.com/12-tips-for-finding-a-suitable-therapist


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For starters, commend yourself for being committed to working. You have no idea what is going to happen in the next second, so focusing on thinking you will never have a good career or amount to anything financially is creating a fictitious story.  Remind yourself of that every time the thought pops up.  The false belief that nothing good will happen is sucking out energy you can use on pursuing your career dreams. Next, do you know what you need to do to become an electrician or heavy machinery operator? If not, find out. Then, set up a realistic schedule for yourself to accomplish the steps. As you accomplish each step, see your progress.  Notice that you are moving closer to your goal.  Every day remind yourself why you are pursuing this career.  In fact, write it down and tape it on your bathroom mirror.  When you start to feel discouraged, remember your goal and remind yourself that you have no idea if you'll make it or not but you are going to give it everything you have to find out. Anything worth pursuing is going to take a lot of persistence and hard work. Stay with it! You and your family are worth it!


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I'm in my early 20s. I've worked since two months after I turned 18. I have “plans.” I could become an electrician, or I could operate heavy machinery. I have goals, but I do nothing to try to meet them because I don't feel I can. I just want a better life for my fiancée and the kids than I did.


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Wow that is tough. There is nothing worse than fearing abandonment when you are already struggling with depression. It sounds like you are still wanting to work through whatever challenges you and your husband are having but your husband may not be on the same page. I would encourage you and your husband to seek professional support if you haven't already. While depression can put real strains on a relationship, relationship problems can lead to or contribute to depression and there may be some real benefits to both of you in doing some couple therapy. With that being said - if your husband is not willing to do therapy or is clear that he wants the relationship to end, then I can't see what choice you have but to "respect his decision" as you mentioned. This doesn't mean that you have to feel okay with the decision - as I'm sure you wouldn't - but ultimately loving one another and staying in committed relationships is a choice that we each have to make. If he is wanting to leave - this could make things a lot tougher for you. I would encourage you to seek professional support for yourself and reach out to lots of friends and family. You do not need to face depression alone - nor should you have to. We all need support at tough times like these.


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He said he would try and he never did. It's been nine months, and this is making me worse. Today, he said I have to respect whatever decision he makes. Is that true? Am I supposed to respect the decision to leave because he can't handle what I'm going through and leaves me here crying and worried every night? He's constantly changing his mind on if he wants to work it out.


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I'm sorry for the hurt you're feeling from your husband's decision.Keep in mind that if one partner does not want to be in a relationship and remains in it, then both people will be unhappy, dissatisfied and feel stressed.Imagine being in a relationship that you'd rather leave.All the negative feelings and resentment of being with someone whom you'd rather be without, would not leave very much energy to satisfy your partner.I'm glad you realize that you feel depressed.Depression is a mood that can change once you understand what is causing it.Depression is an area that very often therapists help their patients understand, and emotionally support and encourage them during the course this takes.For now, concentrate on decreasing the tension in your life.  Your husband's indecision may very well be adding to your stress.Only he can make up his own mind.As hard as this may be, all you really can do is take care of how you feel so that you will feel better.From what you write, your husband is too unsure to offer you the love and care you'd like from him.Learning to love oneself is always worthwhile.   At this stage in your marriage, now sounds like an ideal opportunity for you to teach yourself self-love.


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The fact that you mention that he is "constantly changing his mind on if he wants to work it out," suggests that Discernment Counseling might be a really good fit for you both. Discernment counseling is a protocol for partners where one or both aren't certain they want to remain in the relationship. It's a brief (1-5 sessions) and intentionally focused on helping partners talk through (primarily individually) their reasons for and against staying in the relationship - as well as confront their own contributions that lead to the relationship crisis. It's aimed at helping the couple reach a clear understanding of which path they are going to take, not asking anyone to change just yet, so it can be a lot less intimidating and more to the point than couples therapy.  You can look to find a local therapist providing this service here. That said, I agree with other respondents that if he is deciding to leave, seeking out support for yourself would be incredibly helpful. You may need to accept his decision, but you can certainly feel whatever emotions you have.  You are allowed to feel exactly how you feel, and it's likely you'll be sad, or angry or hurt or disappointed or scared, or any combination of any/all of those. Having someone there who can validate those emotions and help you to process the grief that naturally comes with the end of a relationship can be a huge help in finding a place of healing and regaining a sense of self, a sense of hope.


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Although the marriage vows say in sickness and health, each person has the right to choose to stay or to leave, depending on their ability to cope and handle marriage challenges.  I know is hard not to focus on him and his choice, but the more you put the focus of attention on him the least support you will receive. Focus on increasing self-care activities and building a support system around you.  A therapist can help you to work with depression symptoms, build up your self-esteem, and developing coping skills.  Also, invite him to a therapy session so he can clarify any questions and concerns regarding your diagnosis.If you would like to engage in therapy, I am licensed in Texas and Puerto Rico, you can contact me at 787-466-5478.Mi esposo quiere divorciarse después que fui diagnosticada con depresión severa.El dijo que intentaría y nunca lo hizo.  Has pasado nueve meses, y esto me está haciendo sentir peor.   Hoy, el dijo que yo debo respetar la decisión que el tome.   ¿Es eso cierto? ¿SE supone que respete la decisión de irse porque él no puede manejar lo que yo estoy pasando y me deja llorando y preocupada cada noche?  El cambia de opinión todo el tiempo.A pesar de que los votos matrimoniales dicen en la salud y la enfermedad, cada persona tiene el derecho de decidir si se queda o se va, dependiendo en su habilidad de lidiar los retos del matrimonio.  Entiendo que es difícil evitar enfocarte en él y sus decisiones, pero mientras más enfocas tu atención en el, más vas a resentir la falta de apoyo.  Enfócate en aumentar el cuidado personal y en desarrollar tu sistema de apoyo.  Un terapista te puede ayudar a trabajar con los síntomas de depresión, mejorar tu autoestima y desarrollar mecanismos de defensa.  También puedes invitar a tu esposo a terapia para hablar sobre tu diagnosis y que aclare dudas sobre los síntomas y expectativas.Si te gustaría recibir terapia, soy Consejera Profesional Licenciada en Texas y en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478.


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When you are at your lowest, you have an opportunity to learn not just about the people around you and who you can depend on, but also, so much about yourself and why you have come to the place that you have. Take this time to do some introspection and learn yourself. It will give you the power to recover from whatever it is that has broken you. We'd love to talk with you. Please contact us sometime.


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If your husband is changing his mind about whether or not he wants to stay in the relationship, I wonder if you both might benefit from seeing a therapist who specializes in couples. In my training working with couples, partners come into counseling with one of three goals in mind: strengthening the relationship, getting a divorce, or making a decision. The decision could be whether or not stay together or it could be any number of other things, such as what state to live in.When you ask whether you have to respect whatever decision he makes, respecting his decision does not mean that you have to agree with what he decides. While you do not have the power to change his decision, he also does not have the power to change yours or how you feel about it. Having said that, if he is changing his mind a lot, chances are that the only decision he has made is that he needs to make a decision. Weighing the options of an important decision (any type of important decision) can be anxiety-producing its own right.The fact that you said you were diagnosed with severe depression leads me to believe that you are already seeing a therapist. Perhaps he or she can assist you in navigating through this. I'm wondering how you feel when you are around your husband. I'm not sure whether you are saying that having him there is a source of comfort for you or that it leads you to feel more sad. Maybe it is a little bit of both.


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The fact that you're reaching out says that there is something in you that wants this to be different, and that drive might be something worth tapping into. "Why do I keep trying?" is a question that might give you some insight into what it is in you that keeps you going. A lot of therapists/counselors are now offering video therapy. As long as you're in the same state as a therapist offering this service, you could connect with someone helpful from the comfort of your home, even being in your small town. I'd recommend looking into this option, because you're asking a lot of really deep questions and might benefit from having those conversations with someone who can help you find your own answers.


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I'm in my late 50s. I never loved or have been loved. I need deeper help than is offered in my small town, but I cannot leave this town because of agoraphobia. I find myself losing hope more and more. My brain barely works anymore, and my memory so small, I forget in a moment. I serve no purpose. I'm incapable of work or anything of value, and I never have been. I’m a complete waste of time and resources, and yet I keep trying. Why? Why does God insist that I continue to exist? I’m not suicidal, just tired.


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Hi Oak Harbor,My heart goes out to you. Sometimes when I'm working with a client who experiences depression or anxiety, I ask them for a glimpse into their worst moments in their minds. "What are the worst thoughts that run through your head?". Often they struggle, perhaps out of shame; maybe they don't want me to know their worst thoughts. But I can help them better if I do know, because then we have a place to work from. You are feeling hopeless and worthless, and your thoughts support these intense emotions. I don't know you, but I strongly believe that you have someone in your life who, if they heard your thoughts, would say "That's not true. I know where her value is." I believe that there are people who would see your value clearly, even if in small things. Can you imagine those voices?You mentioned God, so let's invite God into the conversation. What might God say to you? What evidence might God...who sees all..have of your worth? What hint might God give you about your purpose? You suffer from severe anxiety, and the agoraphobia works together with fear; they're a tag team. Fear tells you perhaps that people will reject you (or something equally bad), and then agoraphobia steps in and traps you and uses as evidence the fact that no one seems to be reaching out to you to convince you that you have no worth. Do you see their plan? Make her scared... keep her here alone...convince her it's hopeless. They both try to convince you that they are your only friends, except they're lying to you. They only want power over you.You forget your worth. You forget that we all have worth. No one is a waste. I believe all God's creatures have worth, and that we're here to use our gifts to improve the world, and to remind each other of our value. There are people out there needing your support as much as you need theirs. Can you find them? My guess is you've been alone and isolated for a very long time and it's impossible for you to see your worth in this situation. We need mirrors to see our worth and other people are our mirrors. We see our value in their eyes. Do you remember the first time you questioned your worth? What was happening that you blamed yourself for? Can you speak to that child and tell her (or him) that whatever's happening isn't her fault? It's that child who cannot see her own worth, probably because someone treated her as though she had none. That's only a story though; not the truth. Can you find another thread of a story? Who might tell a story of your worth?Oak Harbor, I believe that there is help closer than you think. Fear wants you to believe it's hopeless. You reached out here...can you reach out again? Start with just one person, and that will lead you to somewhere. We don't know where that somewhere is but could it be better than sitting alone? You've stopped living. You can choose any moment to start. I wish you peace and hope. :)


