feel like everythings pointlesshalf time get point living im turning  week friends speak of probably gonna day nursing jack daniels myself honestly real friend almost two years allies people follow facebook living myself one would know gone suddenly dropped dead feels like theres point anything know want life fuck even know drive im creative talented even half interesting hell relationships falling apart feels like matter time partner enough me used self harm lot suicidal two years ago im supposed look like im better im supposed still craving harming tools months honestly still do im transgender ftm im supposed success story pathetic people tell im funny cool deserve chance feels kind empty me try improve situation join groups try get meet people feels like cant connect anyone work home really wanted work boxers want around people going judge me feel like thats people ever done life either fat freak queer stupid sexually assaulted year ago date want able go one day without thinking happened anymore im seeing therapist feel like good feel like much wrong me fact last friend basically stopped talking found happened step front traffic