lost everything valuei dont really know tell story way makes sense others bullied young age first  years life didnt single moment happiness felt alone matter id be even got older friends always felt like things missing never moment actually felt good sometimes things hurt less good day got me years ago life changed lot random occurences met girl first person ever look like im normal worth much anyone else first person felt valued appreciated gave humanity nothing made every single part life better everything became easier became happy didnt even need anything waking seeing enough make life feel perfect was went spending every single day life feeling like shit worth anything inside keep wall okay actually feeling like value girl might perfect made feel perfect made feel like human being would done anything her did together years everything great talked marriage week ago nothing wrong week ago went short holiday friends yesterday got call telling accident didnt make it woman reason ive ever felt like value dont know do hard kill yesterday try stay bed go sleep feel physically sick dont know go dont know why really dont see alive tomorrow dont see point anymore dont know