big moment me im finally getting helpit hasnt happened yet dont know moms reaction be wrote note redflag note note shes going read moments im suicidal also look posts rredflagwatch without getting upset started didnt want go school why dont fucking know crying verge going downward slope suicidal thoughts done loading laundry shell read note probably read posts might actually getting help soon goes show get help even cant put correct english  whatever language speak  id recommend writing it huge  ive waiting get help since well long remember thinking thoughts shell probably read too adrenaline pumping im actually excited get help once knowing another route escape ive feeling isnt redflag istheres word it thank you mom everything