living others myselfive diagnosed depression last four years ive felt apathetic fell love made feel like living makes want die even more dated less week break dating someone else someone much dislike yet wanted friends cant say her treats like mistress cuddle comes problems also brings dating him feel horrible basically cheating her whats kept going long wanting hurt people close me imagine sad passing want sad care much less them people closest treat like know care much even feel like living life solely others good all know something holding back since im rather jumping bridge feel like im even living good reasons anymore ever