want go onim  yo school student experiencing suicidal thoughts since  despite well school music still feel like disappointment due several bad behavioural tendencies short violent temper lot issues anxiety due constant bullying lot time feel like worth tried get help past worked time ive mentioned wanting kill harm parents theyve gotten angry called stupid feel like cannot get form help due ingrained paranoia something go horribly wrong tried cutting myself always weak it help matters either so long story short feel ready end all feel conflicted people keep trying show good life throw off threaten replicate kill myself know anymore