never thought getting drunk would save lifeim alcoholic never wanted admit that true tonight unthinkable happened past months ive really feeling bit bit much ask lately really getting me ive feeling ashamed kind person ive feeling worthless well genuinely want live anymore decided id kill week came extreme plan that honestly wouldve worked promised tonight would night long got drunk getting drunk motivated anymore i first time long time decided live decided live am moment decided live scared scared would happen pets really one reasons im alive know ill feel im sober tonight hit quite hard harder expected to fingers crossed ill decide ditch plans redflag sober doubt it worth shot hope least oh boy im going regret getting drunk later least im alive regret though enough self pity tonight good night everyone stay strong never know may happen change mind