feel trapped see way outhello ive thinking killing while basically last years im trapped teaching internship program even want teacher applied got certification program want failure idea use history degree put internship across state know pay drive there ive working hours club enough want this give shit teacher cant back out do  grand student loan debt without certification ill fucked want it want put wringer piece paper even want wish someone told dont it teacher figure something else out scared sleep last night called internship sick first week parents lectured me saying im going seen unreliable could never take sick day whole thing shot unless get act together really think would safe drive tired understand never do ive said many times this me want drop use bachelors something else never listen say this make marketable pussy even teach finish it happy years im unhappy  year old moron internship cant support desperately trying stave future loan debt going career path could give less shit about cant see way out need help im home alone today half tears also staring space im sorry really man up