stuck please helpi go pretty good college nyc everyone hs shocked got proud felt like years suffering hometown finally something good coming gonna prove everyone shit wrong hope keep going school hope id successful torture teasing matter future im junior whos behind credits depression got bad could never go class failed solid friend group genuinely feel like people hang want around gained like  lbs since hs try binge eat suicidal thoughts away suck almost classes the one thing good language course got super hard nowhere geared towards people already speak home see point anymore school would take grades tried transfer plus makes sense go worse school cant drop since cant even get job current resume says im good school means id get nowhere drop unemployed came hopes finally feel good become something fucked everything  years past point fixing it like universe telling end now want hurt family best friend back home im stuck ending continuing path nothingness sake people care about feel want hurt cant keep going everyone else myself