im essentially counting days become failurei one last year highschool im forcefully thrusted real world idea graduate zero idea could turn to idea work trade field work actual passions side trades passion theyd job could fail easily furthermore cant simply take break highschool family allow one bit besides family id  alone since one close friend leaving airforce graduate ill alone lost laughingstock disappointment mentally destroyed likely suicidal one tight bundle year is quite literally going beginning end me ive never felt dread anxiety anything else entire life better enjoy last year can ill like parents poor dead dreams aspirations heres failing