done dealing paranoia hallucinationsah man week rough me ive kind antipsychotics awhile symptoms control week everything really bubbled surface life work falling apart personal life pieces broke up family me im totally weekend yesterday took like  mgs xanax  mgs diphenhydramine course still woke hoping wouldnt did im precipice looking edge trying decide do makes frustrated cant find people understand pretty much typed maybe somewhere someone could understand mind works tell going okay know going okay everyone thinks im giant asshole douche liar talk behind back even try present side story matter people cant understand mind works say bullshit like well understand but but things mind telling shit perceive reality different everyone else people still think make everything up sigh im tired thoughts head constantly bombarded second guessing theres bugs around hear buzzing noise see faceless people like hiding shadows room theres nothing ever change im one sit deal it im one keep waking tormented things mind never stops want ability stop thinking care dying care thoughts stop head stop seeing shit get better know never cured never regular person sigh hope someone reads kind understands mean im sure long winded rant place thats mind  constantly running fucking place body seems understand things go cant figure way get people understand types problems have maybe die people would finally look back life say wow guy really fucked up around like yes thank you exactly bullshit cant handle anymore know man really know do