feel empty blank numb very long rant last  years life sounds pretty generic thats feel spent years chasing girl never got together dated moved right confessed felt same never even got hold herwhat still wouldnt give hold once confidently love her wanted make work tried lasted half year decided leave me wasnt end going experience breakup gone broke left broken months felt empty like now met another girl liked first like also saw chance help get first girl fizzled pretty quick though received letter girl  explaining reason blocked number sc someone went phone blocked made think blocked her believe story im sure dont see reason lie im sure anymore friends again wanted back life badly wouldve happy even letter said fuck hope die long her taking stuff got back together course loved exactly way tried before like think felt im sure happier sorta put back together since broken first time ended dumping remained close friends day second dumping way played broke second time kept trying almost another year gave weeks ago im even sure right decision still late december november maybe last year talking blamed reason broke times not good enough etc revealed reason dumped first time wanted hate could kill wouldnt care knowing that broke third time couldnt comprehend answer couldnt accept answer knew previous attempts life knew mental health problems anyone else fact wouldnt tell knowing maybe couldve done something never wouldve broken first placejust shattered left first two times broken nowadays im trying get still chasing anymore makes feel like nothing guess didnt realize had im lonely sap whos ranting reddit still talk unfortunately much ruined life completely put worst places ive ever been still love heart maybe things change well get back together again maybe fizzle again maybe ill meet someone else ill forget girl spent long chasing after knows