need helpso laying bed agreeing initial posts reasons people want kill themselves cant help think would like go it lately many thoughts ending life dont like life headed know things fix it opinion itd like plugging flat tire see point living life weekends speak trading life money something want  years ultimately die take short cut end avoid dissapointment look forward go downhill slope going life thing holding back parents love them love me relationship father nearly nonexistant argue exchange words thats it mother extreemly close one holding back really want keep typing stop here long story short sick life want end it edit im going try get sleep thanks