stave redflagconstant suicidal thoughts without support network futuresome background im extremely isolated physical health abuse trauma anxiety reasons cant connect community lgbt intersex real option survive right camming ive basically surviving willpower alone things need help keep existing getting harder harder maintain anyone talk to last attempts turned really abusive isolating alienating cant see anyone professional engaging people online whether various fandoms my community feels basically impossible tried feel like ive eroded away im loss beat back enough keep living