theres something wrong melike mentally forgive me ive never posted anything like before may rambling anything ive suffered depression since highschool senior college now that ive kept pretty good handle on in time push past let control me years thought about recently considered ending it now think part im supposed tell hardships ive rough life been thats thing been is difficult anyone elses grew family loved me everything needed close group friends job genuinely love high career field girlfriend loves unconditionally hell times im kinda conceded want know someone please tell me why fucking fantastic life would want end it always something back mind ive always brushed bad day weak lately impulse stronger find going normal day seemingly reason think what went home today frustrating wanting end life apparent reason stupid hate it selfish stupid cant help it realize probably means theres something mentally wrong me even know see it therapists expensive im living college budget thing scares is think reason done anything yet mom one person world say truly care about remeber girlfriend earlier paper perfect find hard care anyone another frustrating point but think much would hurt mom pretty much keeps anything rash passes im trily afraid anything else left keep grounded im sure even makes sense ive never really told anyone this am putting pretty much everything bunch strangers so again forgive lack organization but thats also mind works so im really sure decided post here really rough lately guess help little get chest know im alone cant talk anyone this would devastating family knew feel like none friends would understand mention hard time connecting people anyway guess thats story know do