ok redflagwatch ive ruled redflag fuck myself ive mostly miserable life finally resolved kill last april miserable depressed miserable although life job social connections you ive never found anything really enjoyed sustained inspired me life simply long depressing occasionally painful slog gearing finally folks life guessed intention made clear much would hurt went though it well fuck made promise it cant really take roading knowing much would harm people around me what well good say im gonna kill myself theres still nothing live for thought going indefinitely nature takes course horrifying close worry anymore want keep living default want hurt anyone else honestly want die peace thats sustaining day day existence long time idea go now need reason keep going people live