help need someone talk topreface im drunk rambling strangers hoping help wife issues focusing around intimacy very long time now going seven years  year relationship used great together sex good life good married still relationship time found cheated times like pussy am kept seeing her eventually got married dec  sometimes happens intimacy fallen point think weve actually sex penetrative  all take  blame here know im testosterone deficient on lower end normal took testosterone therapy helped bit things came along losing job depression etc  sort shut down wife telling years get sex feel appreciated relationship leaving mefinding lover end october started relationship someone else rough month her told relationship person id thought like past emotional infidelities come head last weeks read facebook messages know breach trust dispel thoughts infatuated person correct go details worst ive felt entire life wish could make people understand wife saved life bad place came along pulled stupid ass dump since then able give wants ability show love good enough least her cant anymore seeing someone else killing me point redflag table ive thought quite bit would would easier let go happy someone love and show love back tldr wife stepping probably leave me fault id rather end life fall back old self without her dead inside anyway think need help im dying inside rather deal pain id rather dead real