want kill myselfi hate existence im always tired never get energy fix it people say care end lying everyone know always leaves always fault self harm constantly even try hide one cares anyways im selfish disgusting human deserves alone im allowed sad everyone know worse attention shifts whenever hurting talked friend redflag multiple times whenever need help one help im surrounded people constantly feel alone suicidal  months now one cares cant afford therapy not would help parents think attention thats am im disgusting attention hog want die problems would solved along everyone elses im everyones problem mind mess tangled cant fucking untangle it seriously considering taking entire bottle advil whatever shit find fucking ending it im tired eternal sleep seems like answer know anymore need help cant get any im fucking done im tired crying anything besides this