thank youhi first time posting throwaway think friends really know reddit account anyways going lot posts ive realized always people reaching willing help need want say thank you pretty touching know people care enough browse subreddit reach someone struggling ive recently diagnosed things gone downhill pretty fast never saw kind person act terrible thoughts head weekend stood train tracks cried felt accepting that im scared found staring knife  minutes flew plane traveled dangerously close city skyline problem parents brother flight want die me hate thoughts im thoughts cant control stopping acting im control myself depression causing want stop gets worse im already medication going two fricken therapists want act feel like im heading darker darker place