actual serious post thing hate life hard fix myself hard care thing actively avoid thing emotions fuck emotions like this get jealous feel sad couple time thinking best friends relationship someone get angry im good thing ive never good anything life life started  years wasted wasted year work harder try catch cant harder try productive come point hating myself push idea helping myself hhate save myself willingly help myself theres way finally live happy maybe  years itll take ages finally get feet im lazy want die rather see fail fail fail again even succeed wont enough ive losing weight  year still hate look cant save myself cant people accept people kill themselve want die peacefully theres way ask help death everything disposal yet dont use them hate even seeing friends something life got new car old one broke alot failed mot im nothhing flesh brains value im worthless people need bbe like oh ok useless fucking die would able give resources someone use far better me