everyday reminder failure end iti wake up want end done pain realization matter day never get better wont ply reason life improve meaning take pill pill continue emotionless zombie spending day day g nothing one pretending life makes happy wanna know excites me brings smile face thought today day die slip away die never feel ungodly amount depression deal demons head pretend everyone im ok end day lay bed replay everything asking todaywhy today day im fucked up im bipolar im reasons need want die yet c nt it matter much want die like brain says nope today suffering do need today reminded fuckup wife left deserve nothing pain sorrow agony getting tonight like every night sit wishing courage right thing kill myself even something simple that im agony fucked