cant work fail year alternativetold  weeks ago id get work hard exams end may spent past  weeks fuck all completely unable put pen paper slightest get university would needed put  working get going die might seem extreme perhaps even plain stupid ive given lot thought simply inevitable why well start off immediate implications succeeding take heavy toll first off id leave home possibly move grandparents temporarily even ive led sheltered sheltered existences kill would end mutilating performing kind menial task complete lack real world experience combined unable actually venture survive independently due personal nature would quickly lead worsening mental state eventual redflag  chance gaining kind meaningful employment not really desire working  slavery alternative cannot speak people without protection afforded internet obviously without job cant eke decent existence im far proud person stomach homeless came would kill heartbeat basically cant run uni spend another  years hiding real world alternative dying and quite frankly means would long gone now im really sure posting simply bitch unfair personally perceive opposed actually seeking help main reason posting honest simply say tried get help would completely understand post ignoredremoved read far thanks im sorry inevitable spellinggrammar errors