starting suicidal thoughts  month ago like fantasy first feel like becoming reality planning suicide  year later know going scaring always alone life know felt going much bigger cannot even hold idea literally think logically solution this  years old graduated high school  years ago tryna figure live know connectionskillhopegoal nothing average see life unluck it one help mesupport still going like last  years god forgive me scary too going happen kill myself life cruel cruel nothing accept this believe fate scary suicide