 maybe dysfunctional family upbringing environment always shy introverted never really talk people good friends child high school anyone people fake users deceiving understand notredflag happened people date love teachers give students kids going parties could fit in kids friend groups stupid funny things could have thought friend group college girl messed caught feelings exes best friend giving her slept friend thus whole group split understand feelings want experience relationship whole society seems messed up cannot even deal long distance notredflag need something moment wish could forget motivation person want be good learning languages producing music web design graphic design film editing photography hitting gym stocks finance like many things could motivation all even current job get bored quickly reading white papers want get proactive always felt like life never way want be