am wanting end itfucking christ life mess act happy jesus christ im point hanging viable option started brother killed himself literally splintered whole life person really girlfriend good relationship broke fucked dude couple days later breakup messy fuck hurts much cant even bring talk her months disgusted sad mom took whole thing harder explain mother walked room brother shot minutes earlier ptsd hospitalized twice told mentally stable enough work worked me ive strong one family im destroyed dropped college semester mom also mental issues nearly killed there miss old life fucking shit non stop  years im sick it im fucking sick it want happy non stop ive gotten nothing shit since then