see another way outevery day im digging bigger hole im trying every treatment get hands gets worse  medication counseling cbt mindfulness honest faking it exercise journalling courses yoga worry time alcohol selfharm much years feels like im fated theres way improve towards anything theres foundation build on instance theres nothing even possibly aspire to understand improve im disconnected friends support energy fundamentally horrible person too feels like im waiting good opportunity die now annoyingly none really seem plausible im completely sure im writing this semblance company maybe another thing tick ive tried everything list