im considering ending lifeit started kid father sexually abused younger brother older sister years finally courage say something remember father wanted give gift started crying mom wondering about asked crying id tell gift ment hed expect cuddle him mom thinking silly said its father wants good you id explain cuddle way did thats started police would come place get him conversations police child welfare would start back forth mom going court sister brother explanations enough even allegations prior wed get know case came up still would free man hed roam streets even rented cabin  meters away home over fight mother custody torture us eventually got us over convicion free man things done mean anything enough evidence problem never wanted again got delivered him remember crying non stop screaming yelling wanted everyone hear it please leave us alone him cry help im grateful every day mother would refuse let us stay there brought us home nothing anyone could it years later kept fighting see us eventually got see us coditions gonna supervisor us times never spend night problem supervisor someone father knew hed fucking leave us alone hed go walk remember father sitting legs hurt much id cry hed things too things ever want talk again  years ago today  year old man job education ive depressed struggling anxiety years never felt like belonged anywhere safety supposed got completely ripped away me teeth rotting inside mouth simply able work job afford taking care things able take care of age ive seen friends start families buy houses take driver licenses get cars things feel too late s cant barely make month month food see end this loneliness darkness feel helpless ive often contemplated redflag ive never close