think want quitive already  major redflag attempts year one landed hospital another put crisis center awhile know went wrong right time im wanting try accomplish stepdads birthday this upcoming tuesday since believe treatment growing one main biggest reasons im screwed up im dysfunctional achieve anything own least this course im scared die causing family pain leaving sweet dog behind seriously cant function dragging everyone around me draining mom love dearly cant needs live functional life im unemployed cant hold job cant even drive mind hellish hurt cry every day ive tried reaching scare everyone get overwhelmed ive tried years counseling mental health facilities yet am really see things life id like experience want give up feel cant take anymore breaks heart venting