need someone tell going okthrow away account need vent years shit feeling like shit ever since beginning year last semester college last semester graduate feeling miserable hard get morning hard care anything hard focus keep telling youre almost there it months working wake up force feet force get fat lazy ass class years shit two hours supposed go back college find brother flunked college hiding parents found out fullblown break down admitted suicidal thoughts admitted lying them me goddamn lied me lived together dorm would leave class guess what actually go class hed shut somewhere play fucking computer games go college move back dorm supposed share together unpack things knowing brother come back me parents found did would killed himself spent next days emotionally drained hollow still today im still angry bitter almost anything find get angry about draw hobby one things find joy doing find getting frustrated furious drawings mind keeps telling much suck good thing dad let go art school miserable failure cant anything right holy shit whats wrong you never great artist fuck never good one even trying sometimes thing manages get day loving girlfriend whenever needed talk lives three states away goddamn it miss her oh mention family hates her brothers sisters and yes suicidal one too telling terrible choice girls im going end fucking getting pregnant dad keeps glaring goddamn person fucking world gives two shits me know im venting rambling probably making whole lot sense know lately ive feeling miserable cant remember last time genuinely happy im angry depressed need help