im miserable pathetic cowardi struggled suicidal thoughts long put semicolon tattoo wrist thinking would keep following through im realizing selfish stay alive everyone know would happier without me mom resents views came bisexual told hated me im going hell considers biggest failing mother turn wanted best friend abandoned activity used love together made rash promise favor would rather give favorite past time favor friends avoid me make excuses talk me blame them im needy pathetic partner really love me think make happy want much attention need much help everyday tasks hes loner stuck socially impaired anxious depressed ugly fat disgusting excuse human wakes middle night sobbing someones hurt know handle it know im posting here know need fix everything ive fucked up im scared im weak