cut self first time todayevery problem happens me makes want cut myself bought pack razors ago cut never really deep cut before touched while today stuff happened made try razors first deep cut today deep enough bleed while weirdly happy closer able cut really hard end life wish things happened made want cut myself new stuff happen small remind shit stuff happening me normally try think hard sometimes feel like family friends trust almost everyone done damaging stuff back stabbed me literally  real friend completely trust even know im going terrible path sorry know one cares help get stuff out without actually it