feel like im drowning insidesorry make sense all past months ive increasingly violent frequent suicidal thoughts hard get day im honestly tired putting charade everything fine everyone find life enjoyable anymore like spending time people anymore work feels pointless life feels like stagnant clear sign change coming first kind dismissive killing convinced something crazy people did feels like cannot go longer five minutes without fantasizing offing myself feels like getting worse im alone feel like im incapable anything right ruin close relationships people im point life family thought best friends want anything anymore sometimes think im poison fuck anything touch honestly feel like giving up felt like owed least attempt talk someone else might understand im feeling act anything feel like used normal know happened dig pit cant climb of thanks spending time read this going something similar sincerely hope everything works you