breaking myselfbf  years ended  months ago said things good now bad times good cant see forever etc mostly due insecure crying sometimes angry drinking otherwise thoughtful generous girlfriend lost friends made grad school process applying logic myself sad happy let lot good things go could there made huge mistakes people close friends love talk even weekly hate alone around people get anxious even strengths thoughtfulness generousness etc turn weaknesses people end taking advantage me always least favorite child parents even though worry current state time feel like mistake even born went medical school get attention less dont know want doctor stuck career student loans graduation next week going really depressing thought bf family giong meet friends moving sos move job supposed person loved anything whole life dont even know want job going incredibly stressful dont want alone times bad good think back times happy think always little bit sad cant see living life the way been another  years even another  think using logic time break myself speak also told i need selfish well understand redflag selfish dont really give shit anymore thing want right hurts people fine rarely ever anything myself could one thing want face one day shit dont know make end graduation say goodbye people