ive enough alivehi im using throwaway account since people know account also forgive spellinggrammar errors since english first language let introduce first im  year old guy life ive struggling depression recently started lot panic attacks school going really shit right now really friends anymore except school since parents allow go outside anymore reason cant go outside used drugs nothing hard weed sometimes drink even liked it wanted friends ever since lost privilege talk life going shit sorry language true get enjoyment anything thing ill either studying sleeping eating tried new things cant find reason something im studying lot go university get finally get freedom back due recent events ill probably redo year cant handle that ill lose friends ill probably able make new ones social anxiety autism im tired ive really thinking killing myself want go school anymore want home cant go anywhere else lock room every day come home ill wait till end school year ill see passed not last straw cant deal hell also feel like piece shit lot people sub lot worse ive got struggles minor problems