almost  year old trans woman live south transitioned teens mentally female long remember transitioning blessing also curse gender dysphoria something would wish worst enemy transitioning simply would label anything sexuality wise gay male never felt true even though assigned male attracted men always identified internally straight female graduated high school online tried public school would stop going bullying harassment finally transitioned felt excited happy years went dysphoria got worst became unhappy myself parents divorced  still feel somehow responsible party always problems always felt strain put family parents cannot work redflag bad vomit shake feel like every single person looks knows judging me two past notredflag ended terribly always blame it truly feel unlovable matter many surgeries hormones get feel inadequate inhuman nothing elevates sadness want die peacefully painlessly would make better transgender female lost