know need someone talki think need talk someone last   months anything productive home went outside rare possible live alone really close get bachelors degree shortly registered topic thesis started realize frightened many trivial things since tried avoid people stopped replying messages started college always thought writing thesis seminars hardest part even testseminar never problems exams mostly one best  seminars practical parts where supervisor watching me always really hard managed finish thanks teammates always shy rather introverted type never thought something norm needs treated moment im really afraid social interactions matter real life internet never talked anyone think one knows shut room last  months though often redflag actually wanted  times never could mostly family wish could simply disappear waking morning die accident im pretty sure non ever happen today wanted drive home tell parents it  hour train i need  hours go back home ride returned back apartment know tell arrive also thought calling parents via phone feel could explain phone another idea go old friend he lives doors away asking help cant think way could help me moment really know whats wrong escape current situation hope give advices