think ive ruined lifei everything told do went right school took right classes worked hard got projects done shiny new phd hangs wall albatross around neck defended year ago one wants hire me year trying gotten one interview one even tried leaving phd resume got caught fear never employed again last six years living hell nothing want tear diploma wall rip up brought nothing misery disappointment think may seriously irreparably ruined life im money unable pay rent dont tell congratulations sympathy me doesnt help cant stand sitting here anger frustration makes feel like im going fly apart everything worked lie want hurt someone myself want punch professor face demand life back nothing live for would ask help nobody cares enough to nothing look forward life want go anymore cant handle nightmare anyone tells it gets better liar never experienced it before