strong enoughi always thought committing redflag think ever hit hard today cant even feel sadness point really angry everything nothing makes happy anymore years cant blame others something chose though angry well cant even honest see look afterwards try hard keep hold wonder much longer take ampxb end blame constant silly choices life ever since child live consequences problem is thats life ever been living consequences baduninformed choices eh must real crap screwing constantly personal professional life ampxb maybe karma mistreating scaring away around me cant love love others would lying everyone still avoid unecessary drama people tell cold cruel person cold yet feel bad themselves ampxb problem admitting messed up even admit point it nothing change whats done done hardly even look people eyes long remember reached point makes sick enraged bitter even wake see people even choice take instead them one healthy im nothing here ampxb used let gaming fulfill even stopped working quickly fading away real aspirations things love became daily sacrifices struggles able coup knows long ampxb anyway want ask anyones forgiveness go back fix decisions hardly ask anything life want gain courage finally kill find peace reason go psychological warfare