spent past weeks meet friends family members would still talk me since thought would nice see one last timei fucked everything could life got degree field unable properly work longer see point it become useless piece shit unable get bed morningi unconciously sabotaged notredflag ended hurting exes feel extremely lonely also drink excessively almost social occasion way stand people around me friends metaphorically drifting away me is course good them since never really good friend also easier finally leave worldi longer find joy anything used lots hobbies considered extremely talented kid dozens great opportunities great plans wanted see world happy good end failed basically everything could want leave fucking mess cannot take more