ive ruined yet another friendship im ready give upi think im ready give ive always mess person week ive fucked everything ive never meaningful relationship only ever one girlfriend didnt last long never able keep friends thing every time meet someone become close become far clingy overly attached become overbearing try hard eventually push away happened happened never mean harm im sad lonely person wants friend always take things far im insecure worry every little thing get paranoid everything overthink everything killing me causes problems everyone love eventually take things far last year ive one friend girl work with think world and like said became attached her put lot pressure depended lot boyfriend ive honestly never wanted anything friends obviously ive become much ive never ever meant harm cause trouble never meant upset worry anyone two use worked together team two months loved it however couple months ago swapped someone else work basically lost plot im never going defend way ive acted thats point threw tantrums things attention didnt want work anyone else attached her ive acted lot ive upset friend caused stress knows self harming suicidal thoughts broke front saying shes terrified shed blame anything happened last week supervisor spoke manager im told im good friend boyfriend isnt happy i completely understand ive told outside communication needs stop needs boundaries sounds like telling cant mates friend ive got text saying wants tantrums stop wants us go back mates laugh said boyfriend wants block doesnt want wants happy joke around like used to said doesnt want stop texting outside work working together doesnt want lose friend which obviously dont want either others work telling needs boundaries ive ducked like always nothing going same even ok wants friends im worried others going try separate us keep away completely understand fault thats problem ive done know ill again meet someone get far attached person eventually fuck up ruin every friendship go far cant keep im ready give up cant keep living like this im worried friend blame kill thats always reason havent dont want upset family dont want blaming ive got worry blaming selfish side wants end