everything messmy entire life mess well paying job hate im fairly certain company going go bankrupt soon writing walls sure mass layoffs including work best friend honestly like father figure me still talk him seeing regular basis people left company miserable fear jobs surrounding negativity making depression x worse im looking jobs luck yet found one decent would almost cut pay half simply cannot do despite decent salary cant seem save money things always pop vet bills higher normal electric bills car stuff etc emergency fund always gone soon reestablish it hate apartment loved one point awful neighbors moved construction began outside window there multimillion dollar homes built right next complex construction literally  days per week  hours per day never sleep causing become increasingly irritable ive spent almost  trying buy noise canceling products oh woke gas siphoned car friday asked switching another unit would  transfer fee higher rent want break lease itll  fee many friends days married kids chose career im slowly catching up think realized lonely career focused life would be also feel like everyone knows always annoyed me im point even know bother anymore feel like control anything life much change happening once