one days im finally iti cannot believe im weak takes bad days im back abyss again staring it slowly swayed gentle calming voice ive limbo far long  years since started developing suicidal thoughts cant seem shake off markers suicidal thoughts smoking excessive drinking binge gaming procrastination resources world live life entrepreneur cant productive one day people miss im gone least legacy leave friends love me disappointed mistake mistake mistake keeps piling up im fucking failure life im killing life somewhat meditative writing thoughts bright spots least recognize people life love me work god knows people going right now still breathing many more dark spots life consuming hate it