homeless third timethey kidding said life s would hard ive homeless  different times  separate occasions currently age  struggle major drugs smoke lot weedwax find drinking often slip depression also lot often figured id comment advice improve try get situation recently lost job sick  months ago took  days one week sick cold want risk getting anyone else sick especially peak covid emailed company  different times letting know situation  months later guess matter fired it explain further need explain companies policies used work unimportant whats happening now fact is lost job due poor communication skills relaying im sick never get job back im paying it  months later completely unexpected nowhere waking morning phone call hr representative terminated almost  months employment part wishes going fire me took days off rather  months later reason happened worst time left room renting  month lease at try find something better long story short find place time packed everything car headed homeless grateful least still job gone homeless job way behind way many bills third time happened exact way situation homeless times pretty irresponsible think think fuck it often ive low before again fuck it die fuck it really family deceased divorced split apart family never talked never close ive mom relationship deteriorating ever since s introverted keep myself im never one start conversations someone mind keeping one going someone engages one always aim kind others treat people id like treated cant bring talk anyone anymore find hard things like talk people time want to feel like looking another shitty job know ill hate sometime line feel like making friends could possibly lose future feel like going school get debt feel like talking mom hear one sided views judgemental opinions feel like catching  month late car payment longer pay ive blowing rest savings food weed alcohol obviously need get priorities straight care anymore think im well aware im failure life right need get shit straight im trying find reasons care really see much point anything anymore could explain personal things add context help support feel way personal post already way long is thoughts hurting always throughout whole adult life feel prevalent ever im problem right now poor planning bad choices led this things life led care im making excuses this know buckle buttercup start looking another job fix car find repossess it care anymore whats wrong me used care lot dont anyone took time read this really thank going way know long honestly really pathetic me im scared im really scared bad thoughts time feel insecure ever feel like talk someone theres one there mother never understand never father im asking pity advice please help find reason care again not call coward guess thank all