brought sick world lost everything worked became schizophrenicat age six abused age  propositioned sex age asked take top off  man  interested makes pedophile  sex man  wrong feel suicidal it taken advantage teen years  sexually assaulted photographer assault multiple times completely ruined life beautiful modelling work never wanted model again  fell love man five years older never experienced anything like it madly love taught much smoked weed together already sick young age borderline personality disorders weed made think made think world live sick twisted world everyone sick evil know experiences shaped beliefs world truly believe run evil live hell planet one day happened me smoking weed started hearing voice told smoke weed watch smoke chamber thought kind spiritual awakening third eye opened able access spiritual world still believe day world think could world much beautiful imagine started believe god voices guiding become spiritually enlightened told kind things took journey told look documentary called war dance never heard children uganda forced murder parents everything voice said voices tell one not told do told get slutty underwear put told one represented sex slave throw river told revealed like think thought good person lot ways told like like homeless told look stars saw southern cross spot one day came back boyfriends place always weed told smoke weed told clean place absolute pig sty taken away hospital pinned  men screaming begging drug me need drugs spiritual awakening needed see voices teacher plant weed through weed experiences teaching kind planet really living full sickness place mess cleaned hours boyfriend always working never took care home like did voices helping waking mind like ayahausca does one day voices told open gates let husky lead voices talked freedom husky belonged universe me told follow streets told say come came back me came back thankful voices told let go teaching train her im dog trainer trade already well trained loved dearly husky come couple owned training her would walk three times week would take australian bush let run lead hours walked ran hours free nature like be like animals deserve be would follow everywhere would drop home one night sitting garage boyfriend live small garage boyfriend build bed ceiling space intelligent harley door escaped owners house come find spent hour returning home week got call owners said want harley sits gate howls night you took became dog socialsed puppy made little dog training side kick went everywhere together even stopped seeing friends boyfriend dog became life helped train dogs came dog walks me angel angel work helping people helping me setting animals free giving better life loved like loved them set harley free like voices told got upset voices started telling walk city barefoot prove love love like spiritual girl somebody called pound crying floor want go city barefoot came took dog away took hospital signs spiritual trip like numbers voices led house number  telling  partner equal beautiful  get high naturally oral sex used time make mind run wild hyper priming went brain getting oral sex incredible cant think another sign atm anyway took dog away put pound said going kill killed cat hospital prayed days hours hours knees praying god voices told dad manage get sent large property northern territory pest control dog dangerous dog laws northern territory god answered prayers saved dad hearing voices boyfriend ignoring me started got back visiting mum uk lonely person dog boyfriend much story cant tell yet thought writing book im still dealing everything happened me alone hospital pound trying kill dog boyfriend loved deeply would die ignoring thought sick cope plus set harley free blamed losing really really upset everything loved deeply called much nurses called stalkerish know true love like do slaves money slaves planet like boyfriend slave life away support us never got see love life one lifetime get planet ill work fulltime living garage needed money unless became completely grid like planned doing fell apart lost dog job locked away sanity injected drugs will drugs give bad soul brain made feel incredibly ill stiff shower properly move talk properly never made voice go away plant speaking god whatever speaking amount drugs made go away ran away england lost everything sad sad ran england got flight assesment done said ok travel month hospital voices stopped said could fly england ran away drugs doctor said injection year got england mum nan grandad made go doctors made take medication nothing make sick doctor said far medicated took injections still thinks im talking pills im told anyone block dopamine receptors brain make brain produce receptors compensate reactive dopamine system think causes schizophrenia first place drugs cause even reactive dopamine system drugs reduce grey matter brain cause parkinsons like symptoms heard voice month except one hour one night terrible nightmares nightmares hole stomach insides falling it looking heart pounding ground body made dead fish strange ive never dream like think dreams spiritual things trying tell us something thoughts throwing cliffs live see ever happy again lost two loves life never see angel dog again spirit animal cant deal that would probably better boyfriend left came england reason left going drug year boyfriend broke me im miserable think world sick evil keep suicidal thoughts good reason cant take drugs pretend feel way completely valid way feel want die part part im sad im hurting bad heart aches stomach aches head hurts cry stay strong pretend cope sometimes think throwing cliff much better would be anyone help friends except nans dogs best friend australia missed couple things happened me hearing voices told run boyfriends parents house naked godly ornaments house voices told god really truly spiritual people ran house drive way told dance street like danced strip club told thought beautiful dance naked street another time followed boyfriend work train voices told lots things filled hour city kept telling go home kept following listening every little instruction game word word went city went inside building broke work called name ignored call left went back train station voices told jump front train listen told tell told voices jump front train two people started following called police taken hospital trauma wrote post dreamt tunnel behind man scooter get past started suffocate fumes end got tunnel could breathe kind sign either advice ornot instagram httpswwwinstagramcomammiereynolds