need helpim  graduated year never bad many wrongs life barely positives save time im going go past couple months graduated june th supposed happy time everyone wasnt though parents constantly yelled tell disappointed me could even show time missed live part watched home disc got sent out family members even showed see got  calls any saying make it happened regrouped friends talked bit mom calls tells going eat get something home staying pictures left made around  still gone felt like failure disappointment familys last name mixed alot stuff happened past hit boiling point grabbed rope went car go spot girl worked  months she also graduated somehow found told meet somewhere met talked  hours go living person cares do fast forward couple weeks start get feelings heri guy didnt make obvious feel like im supposed alone relationships never work want lose her ex boyfriend even know dated comes starts punching hit ground kept kicking found thing couple weeks later apologized happened told jealous talked them fast forward today longer talking cant kept thoughts down cant sleep thing keeping it gone im tempted grab rope it hurts knowing gone one cares anymore please need advice