im going end im scared tohello im  year old im freshmen ever sense th grade ive wanted die attempt bleach  rushed hospital ended living high school thoughts stronger ive told friends im never happy im probably gonna end dead turn suicidal joke one tries really hard hes really sweet sometimes feel like gives never seem get better worse thing gained feelings him feelings ive never anyone else im gay btw straight would never feel way ive accepted im accepting fact even giving think wont even impacted death think main reason im like mom verbally abused years telling im useless stupid never gonna anything im waste friends joke andor giving dont think anyone would even care died reason me mom right though cant even manage good school whenever try still fail also forces activities dont want do anyway wanted get chest ive wanted say tonight bye