waiting grade back required course major fail ill kicked major probably give lifeif fail im gonna drop think like poker think ill buy highest stake game find see do go bender kill myself done here wish could put clearer words existence enrages me im christian im mad god parents part bringing relationship three basically nonexistent funnily enough fact makes crazy scared going hell im actually sure believe in im questioning faith god good part thinks hell peoplechristians traditionally think of think might complete ending consciousness basically atheist would view death honestly thought comforting fucked hate much im sure would even want go heaven idea forever fucking scares me hate fucking much