worked hard getting back contact him things going wonderfully fixed much problems caused issues relationship meeting every week slowly getting closer again last nightof course could control drinking bar course start fight him even remember told him enough say care anymore never wants talk again one thing remember begging please tell happening leave took back apartment key gave back mine good one person ever loved gone faulti feel like failure lost control drinking idiot ruining second chance got love much failed boyfriend once twice now want end all end all cannot continue knowing set path knowing broke hearti know going it know going soon always struggled suicidal thoughts biggest regret always going suicide back teen pain could avoided gone iti care anything death tired lifei know everyone better without me finally reconnecting ex ruined last night