im sick bullshithello  yearold marine veteran koreanamerican ones going read shit wanted place vent anger frustration diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type antisocial to extent spoken two words six months barely post write online try improve empirical evidences mood enhancement exercising trying new hobbies taking cold showers taking social classes improve awkwardness people yet even initiations looked hate dread students penn state york campus professors psychology professionals look behave retarded deficient human being often would skip cut short input seminars students would groan silence i still hear it everytime talk feel belong need classes fucking graduate committed numerous acts redflag various occasions used methods overdosing someone elses prescribed sleeping pills hanging noose attempting jump bridge push relationships away fear getting emotionally damaged used proceed ignore me blame believe deserve good people life yet want social connection family rejects conversations feel depressed feel suicidal proceed get furious tell shut fuck up friends literally fucking tired emotional rollercoaster rides monthly tried fit americans berate skin color pennsylvania state brotherly love ass tried make friends koreans cast away individualistic rather collectivistic mindset like them feel like ignorant unintelligent bigot future live home father paying house utilities im tired progress stupid fucking lie life gets better tired hope also penn state york reading thiswhich highly doubt fuck you ill see hell