tried couple different ssri medications doses since october still intense amp lengthy episodes depression amp occasional mania feeling self destructive urges amp suicidal tendencies coming back moved crosscountry rv currently looking getting help amp possible diagnoses mental issues feel really place alone stagnant unwanted almost everyone life also think really need take break internet find focus getting better especially people talk online seem far less invested them hurts anyways going try that wish luck best luck dealing similar things alone heard felt understood loved thank amp best wishes all taking break