 daysback september planned would kill november   days now feeling sad every day think month straight crying like time every night hours staying  morning canceling plans interacting one even that seemed clear end life like definitely right decision now im sad kind feel anything nothing really makes sad happy cant even cry anymore like this feel like ive forgotten desperately needed kill myself reason feel like im still willing it like know makes sense im sad im peace gun hand right now honestly think shooting heart stretch idea make feel anything know ill  days im asking anything think needed rant