feel like im spiraling controlive depressed now time something could push get over since sudden death mother two years ago feels like everything getting uncontrollable im fairly decent putting show letting out im told recently getting harder put face every day especially deep thoughts ending all used pop head occasionally time span increasingly getting shorter im hard time keeping emotions check im starting fear may depressed quickly mood change ive harmed point nearly breaking hand thoughts turned i could it i could like this feel like one would really bothered it would would bothered feel like should actually would be friends im stuck dead end job even get half recognition deserve im quickly reaching point burden entire family want get that know do anyone talk to im completely lost