im scared die damn want diemy greatest fear death since child even really understood meant die knew scared never exist again disappear death terrifies me brain wants die wants stop everything done like life fucking videogame brain wants press pause stop time stop life stop everything thats works cant stop thinking it want die want die fucking ironic feel numb constantly theres film senses  everythings dull cold grey justbland nothing feels real feeling real time much input time feel nothing self harm like goddamn teenage girl fucking feel something thank god nobody knows or least nobody knows person knows would mortified definitely able live thats due pure humiliation knowing someone saw pathetic even know anymore ive become sort sick hypocrite friends school always talk theyre depressed sad want tell shut fuck nobody cares problems because really nobody cares anyone im bitter disgusting helps case jump fucking bridge something but cant im scared die im stuck fucking loop like goddamn joke know do so thats life hows day going