want bit time thoughtsdear sw first would like thank clicking listening random strangers troubles now let us get point feeling borderline suicidal apathetic suicidal care life ends soon part want end myself unless feel like choice pain unbearable feeling way girl broke past year ended hopefully enough suffice although two months passed feel still last week while relative progress forced move on cant help grow weary period progress know turn family distant speak much friends helpful all feel like problems nearby easy possible meet up option call told im feeling terrible call whenever talk however majority time pick up do say busy call back never do makes whatever im feeling worse reluctant call anybody case make feel worse result whenever call them talk bit make false promises hang up feel like completely forgotten me course feel like life cannot help wonder would situation me friend need would take situation like seriously say anything intend do know sometimes things slip peoples minds me seems like really dont care issue slip many times nowhere go help myself tried whatever daily life requires everyday extremely disheartening awake memories past fall asleep thinking memories past well even dreams take back past find part problem find many activities fun happy know want find someone love loves back together happy understand happen anytime soon probably see everyone around happy carefree wonder cannot like them furthers hole told try make friends meet new people enjoy small talk like parties anything superficial simply enjoy process sifting hundreds people pretend like reality dont give crap you care interacting you like current friends shown losing motivation fast past weeks im thinking redflag sorry wall text im asking anyone cares least pretends care perhaps give different view words support anything else think help edit thanks replies helpful advice read look tomorrow calling day now