feel like anything worth living anymorei dropped high school last weeks school  since ive gotten extremely motivated make college enrolled community college lived home  years absolute hell hate city lived in felt trapped parents house hated life solid  incredibly lonely years last august finally it accomplished goal made real university finally space ive made friends first time even got tiny bit attention girls completely foreign concept me first semester realize hard would adjust new life failed class got put academic probation im certain meet minimum gpa requirement dismissed end semester saving grace retake classes summer ive lost financial aid able pay them also losing apartment become home love apartment world falling apart im going lose everything worked hard for thought packing moving back home making feel suicidal ive awake several days ive eaten couple times week feel sick time appetite im trying desperately pass finals im angry ive done myself suffered much get pissed away like nothing finally made actual real human contact people little bit social life first time going lose all everything world going taken away fault im fucking stupid social retard habitual failure im fuck like everyone told childhood want live anymore want die cant anymore hate myself cant go back personal hell again cant face truly want wake anymore life lonely terrible short time school best life know bad killing hurts people around you feel defeated want anymore worth now