plan killing tomorrownot sure im supposed posting here where dont really fucking know anymore so im  ive got many things life could name good make happy guess thats whats gonna make much harder know good life compared people im abused im bullied school dont know feel like this dont know whats wrong me dont want alive dont want exist dont know why im fucking dumb even funny im even smart enough ask questions get smarter dont understand things world work forget stuff much zero motivation almost anything used love drawing hands shake cant make right lines isnt turning right none is cant school work couple weeks im falling behind cant understand material none making sense tomorrows sisters birthday turns  dont get see cause shell moms house thought that guess ill end dying birthday know thats gonna suck dont really day could on im gonna miss im gonna miss little brother older sister im gonna miss everyone dont plan life dont want anymore im probably gonna take fuck ton pills doesnt work theres always bunch guns dads closet know anymore im hoping  hours wont anymore ive tried medicine counseling anything could imagine end didnt work still wishing dead get ive got many fucking years ahead dont care anymore