loneliness killsi asked advice lot tried follow it things love tried happy myself works enter relationship feel companionship time time cant that come back every time love enough im  now get see people grow persons partners like positivity around virgins people never relationship iml still someone learned single thing lags decade behind matter people grow learn get know give want know none it im basically cowardly teenager every person asked turned down blame them interesting learned things free time cook build library home read lot means nothing dull always alone makes hobbies feel empty im traveling anymore nobody share souvenirs with come home room like books around hopes forget worthless existence look back fondly upon books ive read thats it good memories fantasy none actual life build connections fictional characters none humans dropped clubs going to seeing people reminds takes worthy friendship companionship cant basic part human existence companionship im fine stopping altogether quit life reach age  finish things want finish im off lonely life never worth it