dont read youre feeling fragile treat addiction self destruction depressionive  therapists  years ive seeked treatment  said wasnt qualified deal specific issues took maternity leave chose stop seeing said since mood low however many weeks row wouldve suggested switch anyway next week got feeling far often lied actually burrowing deeper depression comments acceptance just accept im miserable person extremely difficult life basically especially comments believe god free convince im hopeless gonna get god free disproved in brief depth see last post like this free  want dont chose want people say things addicts like youve got want get better reduces simply wanting get better wanting feed addiction wanting want sobriety choice level success dependent much want it everyone admits one connects dots still try get better dont really hope feel like self destruct every scenario makes happiness feel impossible anyway seems like everybody addiction takes fucked delusional belief god karma something insist thinking positive sake youre choosing thoughts based make feel rather true seems like obvious conscious delusion treatment always seems include removing limiting beliefs seems wrong im interested removing false beliefs truth is may be ill never happy id want thought fester till take appropriate response redflag thing feel like therapists tried get believe god real reason live dont lie person good life lied me think ill probably never get better know possible never want achieve lying taking drugs everyday idea taking drugs  help see world clearly seems like obvious lie therapists seem like mirage hope horizon promising gets better wont waiting till im sad enough cave dont think hope anyone hates themself core