think im going try get together tomorrowive suicidal years go cycles intense crippling depression life goes shit one aspect time im left reeling job house joys relationships closest become incredible messes ive better recognizing im spiralling ive absolute tailspin  weeks everyday become darker thought last serious look flaws ways kill them tomorrow want laundry clean car try think killing myself hard think even manage even matter know depression exaggerates problems way become thousand tonne behemoth little voice head whispers  sure dont want tomorrow go well tried it right now tonight really want shoot head done it