never thought trying play college sport would ruin lifein high school optimistic going played sports clubs generally fun lot really bright future not athletics all decision ruined mentally less two years later dropped quit job second acl tear look back wonder wtf life didnt quit first one id still mental health likely wouldnt retorn it lack motivation do anything ive lost muscle body lay bed parents force get up ive already gained quite bit weight legs feel like shit used hopes dreams reason theyre gone dont care them want knee fixed lack motivation discipline exercise dont want kill myself dying anything like sleep could go that