kicked house two months ago maybe left it know got argument mother trying leave stepfather grabbed started hit me fought back older sister side helped him barely bruised left knew would deadly next time pretty sure choice mother yelling crazy left first tried move father talked  years except one weekend weekend went well told loved thought still child thought could go him told escape ended staying best friend next year graduate still full year taking space cannot even get job identification going hungry days want ask food know money responsibility mothers boyfriend alcoholic gets drunk yells gets violent afraid one day going remember exist going remember trans going remember homophobic know college good school get good college know fill applications information parents school told worry fafsa said anything actual college feel alone want someone talk someone cares nobody tell to best friend knows wonderful kind person comfort others want it would much simpler die matter anyone feel like lost hope becoming successful person know anymore would easier die