new last resort cant go onhi everyone feel ive hit new low posting bunch strangers online deepest sorrows think last another day like this im  ive like years end last summer started dating boy although looking start something gave chance made feel happy  like someone really invested made look forward life again christmas day grandfather passed week later boyfriend left explanation week later started last semester college hate im barely passing one friend lives opposite side country ex got back touch weeks ago today ended things called bunch names told never talk again live parents sit bathroom running bath water cry without questioned picked cuticles skin bloody raw eaten gotten bed want hobby want job want like anything even try feel like one feasible option left besides lay waste away please help