lonelywhats point living always alone ive never friend one im  loneliness depressed since  crave love friendship family even know me one cares ask me everyone seems want talk stopped talking completely years example play instruments even know im music all thought someone else beside hang out seems good true one ever come see actually like care see me even changed looks dramatically try attract people lost ton weight got fit got teeth straightened whitened started wearing makeup made good looking one cares try best smile time make eye contact people which hard severe social anxiety one cares dog one seems genuinely happy see every single day hes best friend friend one ever show unconditional love hes shown me enough always alone one share thoughts myself feel like im prisoner solitary confinement strong urge kill self like tonight know impulsive decision strong never feel love connection anyone point living life alone