im ready die again couple months ago checked hospital put gun mouth pulled trigger gun go firing pin jammed spent last couple months talking called specialists listening tell special am get come key work kick door stuff gone contacted landlord tossed gone wanted trip pictures dead father left nothing checking hospital made life considerable worse going kill spite hospital system one told long going one asked anything important wanted keep since cant see fathers face anymore going kill myself want live world would take much without anything return know life fair much deal with hate world everyone it