terrible things put people terrible things cannot escape childhood emotional stunting followed therapy medication awhile stopped thought genuinely felt better really thought didthen reminder recent giant explosion drama initially nothing dragged life hell popped againand went right back considering ending all feel lonely people care me believe life good me sure rough bad others lot privilege life really cry help thinki think want someone agree tell making sense know would say someone asked could help  reality cannotit justi want die want release pain pain caused others want word forget ever existed want end help think