got bed prepare redflagi took shower shaved legs drinking coffee ill miss coffee cigarettes damn im trying clean apartment someone finds fucking mess im thinking goodbye video instead letter im scared mom blame someone want try stop that im scared scared die also scared survive started thinking afterlife know dumb im scared exists thought reincarnation too scares hell im crying reason dont feel relieved yet im aware im loser giving up im scared pipe im planing tie noose break fuck im terrified cant this im lost im already dead ending body functions now