feel like failurewhenever try voice hopelessness people around remind failures cant anything better myself strive achieve something get ridiculed used arguments ive job since  stopped working second child born still get depressed leaving others childcare people supported decision call lazy useless worthless unaccomplished forgive hurt also fault mine im pathetic dark soul begrudging happiness hated see content im tired sounds ridiculous entire life people mean me husband thought ally mocks telling complex vs world world cant wrong ive attempted redflag honestly love children cant catch break im garbage person cant get away