cant anymoremy sister murdered last year dog also might killed made  month two jobs treat like shit even though two bachelors cant find jobs husband mom family therapist keep telling shouldnt depressed keep telling im well wont listen havent heard best friend weeks doesnt talk much messaged saying need talk left read hospitalized kidney infection im always hospitalized something stupid another boss firing keep getting hospitalized dont know im sick ive several doctors said werent sure either psych took anxiety meds throwing up begged cant handle anxiety wants wait im better gives lexapro something im going get better ive vomiting months seizures dont know doc figured sans throwing seizure nausea meds me im tired fighting im tired trying make everything okay barely hold together income car job life dont know im even typing here ive seen  doctors past week tired saying must feeling bad yes im feeling bad want die wont able stay employed dont qualify disability had hearing honestly point existence anymore im pain time im angry anxious time shouldnt take pills sleep forever im sorry dont even know im posting im venting world dont even know im writing