finei guess kind rand if thats right word im english suicidal depressed years age   still feel depressed getting much better im older still one main problem and problem simply ignore im struggling somehow breaking me parents know was depressed mom really believe still pressured talk people year talk many different people parents apparently gave choice get serious help go christian camp weekend someone know phycology degree  year old obviously chose latter hated talking people not remember getting choices remember anything year better met amazing people lately feel like dead would better guess thats wanted say