sure much longer hold oni  depressed since little kid probably around  so never friend life never accomplished anything  met desperate girl job managed marry first girl even held hands let alone talked bit couple kidsi managed break smile awhile first life still depressed decided couldnt deal mental stuff anymore left  months ago nothing makes happyi drinking every single night since left helps cry much every night tell might need take kids full time awhile check hospital gets mad saying selfish think much dead anymorehoping deer jump front way back work happen lose conyrol fly bridge take kids biggest concern dogsi asked gone would take care said no may call rescue shelters make arrangements even put money chance finding new home without risk put sleep breaking work may go back due todayi going last much longerthings get better