ironywhen kid never really understood concept depression wanting commit redflag thought pretty stupid pointless thing do well guess fate decided make joke ive dealt past  years neverending thoughts redflag aspirations life talents motivation anything deadend job nightshift friends whatsoever social life live tiny town without career options even attempt improving situation ive attempted redflag times failed time thought mightve failed things could get better seem light end tunnel think im going kill time soon feel like eventually happen venting