wrote will set noteshello all deeply frustrated myself freshman college dont know suicidal ideation ive years turned something else testament advanced directive short unofficial think suffice small fund set aside cover estimated costs well plan want done body post death specifics sent love postcards today without context distant friends feel incredibly guilty going dont think leave much hole wish could exist dont want attention dont want anyone make big deal gone specifics outlines that feel like burden want here ive nothing waste resources time money all incredibly self serving entitled overall garbage human forever never contributed anything interesting society dont think make lasting impression even  years now earth turn without me