taking baby steps kill myselfhi  yo male here started contemplating redflag back last months high school mostly due upcoming exams decisions university etc thoughts redflag always shelter pressure would meet every challenge thoughts like ok really kill myself im third try graduate university  years university still bachelors degree sight first drop got depressed shit lied parents graduate on thought redflag every single day thoughts really raw like thoughts breaking  story building jumping im coward would impossible break in go winter partially submerge river freeze death would able carry fantasies im pussy hurts whole life  cant put effort anything hard cant hang im afraid pain on year lied parents graduating university ready kill time plan simple easy plan took days work try one method kill myself would spend days finding right cord strangle not hanging im pussy afraid injure neck every night tighten cord around neck it took  nights figure right way at least think right way face gets redpurple head starts tingle blood vessels enlarge seconds  much afraid continue see happens keep longer heck even know would enough kill would give terrible headache please pm answer even make dizzy  would happy could pass die stopping blood flow brains but know would enough kill me way even know work feel trapped joy living back stabbed parents multiple times for reason even know redflag method work out