feel depressed first time months ever since moved austin ive pretty much perfectly content extrmely happy tbh however today took total nosedive feel like absolute garbage start ran blades razor week ago body hair started growing back really like that along didnt realize much money spending stupid shit turns ive spent  dollars random subscriptions shit dot job cant get one right get ss card wait dad fucking give me run two weeks honestly know im going able get back groove going super well two months running every day week left  week plan rained every day needed run snowed week ive able keep diet fact ive actually restricted got calorie tracker app however today stressed started eating made stressed forth feel gross tired hopeless im ready start adult yet feel like choice need get therapy cant fucking without ss even fucking backed would take months schedule fucking appointment along fucking acne killing me especially back making feel disgusting cant see dermatologist reasons therapist ive adult  days fucking hate it