loneliness  hello suffered loneliness isolation basically life traumatic childhood bullied suffered severe discrimination think contributed lot this seems like something never get of times friends all live alone well distance study literally totally alone two sort friends right now one good friend all many things happened bad held onto friends friend roomate met her moved months ago like best friends know feel really alone live like  minutes away whenever go walking never ask even though already said would like come her text often takes forever reply usually gives short replies basically never texts first same whenever ask something often invites along never me really tough know people know might alone still chose excludeignore claim friends know overreacting really mean example today went walking together could asked along really hurts feel lonely feel like matter try cant get people around cold disinterested say around people hard connect because life story often feel trapped loneliness think lot comes mother always telling loneliness child making feel responsible this carrying around me parentified child also ignored child try make contacts good tough als looking trauma therapy nothing works out feel like trying life become severely physically ill due well abused child mentally physically mother stepfather grew european country father foreigner look nonlocal put way hell child felt misunderstood developed behaviours offputting others due abuse think also judged much harsher bias people claim friends reaching let sink would kill myself thinking lot would pretend sad lies think stop seeing friends really pulls down would alone really cant take rejection anymore think really seem interested knowing me