keep going whatwhy keep miserable suffer yet one wants help cant work cant afford daycare cant find better job cant afford school cant find job fucking cycle want end day day think done family adopted mom died  leaving someone took money kicked  shitty ever since started fundraiser one gives shit bipolar depression cant afford health insurance cant afford services meds without it dental insurance left side mouth hurts filling came out need new glasses cant afford without insurance go without im underweight eat maybe  calories day im stressed money feel like eating im gall bladder issues cause pain cant afford surgery removed also complications child birth starting cause problems daily life im scared bones starting jut out know cant gain weight mental issues having  years trying cope stay childs father homeless friends car penny name son taken care financially father nothing left really since rent gone up qualify assistance small income states standards poor enough going get better me  years suffering one giving fuck never able dig darkness cant even get hand none clinics accepting insurance accepting new patients cant afford stay hospital cant afford get strep cant afford survive botched redflag attempt think im starting finally sink trying keep head water long