coming manic episode afraid doomed againi bad phase last month nearly killed myself ended psych ward got  days later getting out new appreciation everything could see excitable work happy wake up insanely energetic even felt like could happily something like break arm pass time bored actually wanted to felt exciting ive never experience something like felt good week feel energy getting lower lower dont feel excited dont enjoy things dont feel powerful bad thoughts beginning come back feel like going downward spiral end another hospital visit death