friend told want live anymore go support best waycross posting relevant subreddits really need advice here apologies advance grammar mistakes long im mobile typing bed still fresh mind also happy new year tldr among another stressful life events friends mum recently diagnosed potentially fatal cancer friend coping tonight broke openly talked wanting die also talked would it scared friend need advice next steps would appreciate support this live northern ireland uk background friend relevant this relationship brother like sister me mum recently diagnosed stage  pancreatic cancer far know spread systems receiving chemo present waiting find effective chemo determine whether may candidate life threatening surgery remove much cancer possible going little info doctors said prognosis going great looking months years lucky perhaps months weeks not mum may day operation table soon due high risk complications surgery small new years eve get together friend hosting suddenly got absent quite time went check found boyfriendmy brother upset sobbingstruggling breathe asked wrong said several times wanted die wanted kill herself want planet anymore newly qualified nurse heard friend talk killing which never heard say before naturally tried active listener ask getting making want die etc also ask intentions harming moment later on asked made sort plans would try felt like it told would slit wrists knife soon mum dead reason exist anymore that listened her hugged didnt try fight suicidal thoughts judgemental made sure heard told loved much many people life would devastated anymore mentioned things too feeling pressure multiple places people work friendship issues feeling lack family support mentioned perhaps reach hr job let know coping perhaps granted leave absence mental health reasons broached issue seeking professional mental health support health service clearly struggling cope says already sort  month waiting list im living northern ireland mental health services notoriously difficult seen even crisis suicidal suggested opening counsellor talk doctor depressive feelings hopes medical professional may signpost real help perhaps try medications might help type open medical staff past seen counsellors anxiety honest initial session pretended problem return second going cycles normal apologising getting upset could barely breathe talking wanting die again eventually went sleep im lying knowing knowing something seriously wrong friend needs help reddit broach subject tomorrow sober wait talk me go get real genuine mental health support friendlive northern ireland uk  get family members involved try get friends reach let know loved let friend feel safe enough open tell needs me nurse would feel icky sharing details people medical professionals able help honest feel torn respecting friends wishes remain silent vocal others may able help know something needs done asap see friend drowning front eyes see needs help im scared lose someday soon