im even really livingim sure im posting am cant sleep usual like every second life im pain im going bore details degenerative diseases eating away spine tried make peace pain really did last  years trying learn live this good damnit found medication regimen keeps head clear ive worked depression learned get by im fucked intense migraines muscle spasms neck back sudden bouts vertigo bad vomit cant even walk bedroom myself ended getting sudden onset one day brought er found brain degeneration ct scan still working cause oh great another health issue deal with could deal pain least could still take daughter park clean house now barely get moving anymore making stir fry tonight hard nearly threw up cannot live rest life bed throwing dizzy pain sort life that feel like burden family basically cant left alone run errands fear passing alone somewhere sometimes wish gotten married could real wife something take care of daughter could real mother could walk school again love much worry could out im tired fucking tired