oneive episodes ive planned perfect ways myself planned out everything think redflag way shit gets bad know ill enter void gone im perfectly okay that im even slightly afraid humanity march on perform great things without me but things is im straight student labeled gifted woefully pathetic school friends girls like me family loves me im getting job offers ive never much upset about even that look gore watch redflag videos executions murder get kind satisfaction fact bother me strange attraction cant want shake nobody else knows hide quite well frequent websites filled content people would call horrible shit not naming names know type affect me feel know say it stronger im immune fear death even attraction it control it fits anger hurt people animals feel makes better rageoholics wifebeaters serial killers control myself unlike them addition that feel opposite ends emotional spectrum extreme happiness extreme sadness make mistake thinking im manicdepressive though eventbyevent basis something amazing could make quite happy know flip side coin something somewhere triggers extreme sadness days im mostly limbo feeling empty thing close sad get im wellbutrin depression probably helping getting addicted passiveaggressive redflag cigarettes dip tell reddit sick head crazy ask because first time long while think am im 