kept imagining ending life past  monthsevery single day sleep always imagining different ways could kill hurted everyone around me dont even know bad thing good thing since picturing friends mom who perfect anyway keeps trying best raise me cry gets traumatized really makes feel bad also make feels like terrible piece shit cares myself dont think life wouldve gotten better dont really want traumatize kind wonderful people around me also sorry ive said didnt make sense english third language im obviously good it