shoulda done ittwo weeks ago today planned out wrote note told best friend nice things say her even tried contact ex boyfriend tell hes entirely responsible death around am everything set up gonna hang necktie closet partial suspension hanging put neck loop pushed down felt spooking tighten around neck began feel light headed began pass out it tellyou why reached undid knot around neck psychiatrists ive seen my parents found sent hospital ive ever since told really want die thats total bullshit ive never wanted anything die maybe way cat meowing me scared someone saving me maybe instincts anyways getting tothe point this ive spent every day since regretting choice going it ive miserable thought death since longer stay alive want be made harder alone whole redflag thing write new note since therapist yelled gave mine read truth is nothing changed two weeks ago now except maybe reaffirming choice end everything anyway guess im venting whatever shit still sucks sorry spelling errors im writing ipod