 year todaytoday moms birthday would  lost battle cancer years ago best friend person really life grew especially close caretaker going treatments one point stopped progressing eventually slipped away since losing ive lost motivation keep going purpose life anymore ive always issues suicidal thoughts losing made much worse reason havent done yet keep thinking things might get better ive trying different things thought would help moved city enrolled school fall nursing im sure takes make through ive also trouble getting job since moved here also mention still closet late s unsupportive family thought moving away would good me decided  year today things gotten better would end life hopefully find sort fulfillment this meantime still applying jobs preparing school hopefully work courage try dating app see