im losing myselfi cant fucking handle anything want throw wood chipper regret after beat piss thighs hands theyll bruise itll hurt walk again scratched hell scalp face fucked hair silently screamed screeched gods name him pent hardly act cant say anyone thats fucking dramatic feel like lunatic stuck head imagining getting ripped apart hurting fucking school work procrastinated fucking due tomorrow end term want eat shotgun shell paint wall red brain phone silently girlfriend couldnt bring say thing despite raving happened hung eat dinner silently stewing half hour even though help words away want beat legs grind crunch hydraulic press want rip hair scalp pieces im losing goddamned mind saw sticker teachers door said god gave life thought youd enjoy it shouldve thought twice end this end me