hope meso basically feel hope future me im going end disappointment im going college clue im gonna living mom regularly reminds im failure im disappointment family usually isnt verbally abusive now live nothing excites continue living going bland unfulfilling life im senior graduate plans all dream life artist travel world also want youtubetwitch post travel videos to course unrealistic dont know ill pursue dream thing look forward escape dull future escape torment others mother isnt one noticed im failure im constantly criticized supposed great basketball player go college fucked idea lies ahead understand problems probably arent bad peoples here anyone similar problems help give hope life would appreciated know worthless need help reddit may best place worth shot thanks