redflagthe difference barely hanging submitting entirely darkness shockingly small whim decision let go look hopeless despair like staring man whos foot one deep landmine noisy yet silence night unbearably deafening seductive air still quiet hear ticking counting eventual demise post probably going buried amongst sea suicidal people sharing similar fates yet different walks life wonderand wonderand wonderwhat world look like im gone like detonating emotional nuclear bomb readily wipe surrounding you devastating lethal experience affects keep living point choosing kill myself greatest control myself consciously choosing clearest either or life either live die somewhat greatly comforting heartwarming know everything life fall apart except conscious decision decide final outcome