suicidal without depression sadnessi woke today orders head clear crisp repetition commit redflag happening lately thought today going drag not thought going depressed day im not im quite content actually ive got plenty energy big goofy smile bounce back suicidal thoughts casually anyone else feel suicidal without actually down im unhappy hate myself good life people generally really nice me think exhibit signs depression newfound lack desire connecttalk anybody even family figure im either really mentally sick realize it im becoming enlightened knows