ever get betteralmost five years now im fucking sick people telling itll get better im good enough life good enough work myself appearance mindset etc ive tried all subliminals hypnosis nutrition lifting looksmaxing confidence whatever im ace certified nutrition coach personal trainer fucks sake nearly  bench   spend money right products maintain improve appearance im still good enough women anyone says anything personality literally nothing anecdotally according hundreds university studies face  personality whats issue well appears face im  blue eyed muscular lean well groomed matter nothing changes cant beat god awful genes ive diagnosed bdd depression mean bullshit bdd simply opening eyes source plight makes depressed want good enough loved like ive without relationships ive few theyre negligible reasons need go about end feeling like shit before last one  months ago ive wanted kill gun would want hurt family want happy alone people feed platitudes tell im good looking dude whos much good enough hell gay dudes buddies think im chad clearly case know anymore im  finish college soon life seems never ending loneliness depression im watching youth go theres nothing despite trying best want alone ive bad place now truly believe im meant happy hearing name makes sick ever get better