wasted life getting useless doctoratei made huge mistake following dream orchestral musician graduated recently doctorate twelve years schooling life guaranteed get worse skills little application outside concert hall cant teach music silly required pay grades people doctoral degrees im trying hand basic physics course prerequisites theres reason able tackle this yet right average might somewhere mid fifties ive accepted fact life going nowhere misery consumes unbearable unwavering every time drive walk bridge think much better id dead seconds fear over financial burden ive placed parents unconscionable chase silly non goal might leave people behind devastated long term better