depressive moods pushed away loved ones im afraid ill nowhey im m begin constantly suffering depressed moods came every couple months disappeared week so however ive current period months getting worse family love feel pushing away more girlfriend  years love anyone anything ive pushed away broke reasons know ive pushed point one  right im sitting looking bottle bleach wondering pain drinking bleach worth release death im truly terrified might me even know ive posted im desperate need anything tldr  long depressive mood pushed away family friends girlfriend contemplating whether commit redflag now