overdosed xanaxalcoholand norcos six years ago nyeit also birthday got diagnosed graves disease yearand thyroid radiated outi abusing drugs hating life foreveronce got diagnosed couldnt get med levels righti gave up ended eating ton pills drinking whole lot gin want live anymorei ended blacking outinstead dying got duicops found passed vehiclei crashed fence outwoke jail memory happened got years probation thing vehicle blow two years ended getting med levels right probation got xanax drugs xanax withdrawal fucking terrible happy nowwhich totally fucking insanemy mom died last yearmy dad brain damagedementiabeing alone dad taking care himwhile dyingis something couldnt dealt withand maybe getting close death made understand others suffering way feel help comfortable diesi every reason world get depressed want go on somehow getting meds right graves diseasegetting medication help anxiety cymbaltaand taking right sleep medication trazadonehas helped able cope better hope someone reads thisthey maybe see somebody got thought worse part lifethought point going livingand still able get could happyand deal things would destroyed years ago pictured finding peace lifebut peoples idea happy meansand must admit thought would like eitheris crazy thoughts peace felt likebut understand nowand hope ideas impossible ever happy lifedont get ramped ideal form happiness isits really reach feelsi really fucked childhood even crazier run drugsdepression panic attacksthings dont go awaybut way deal themand even way think changed forever didnt find religion anything even followtherapy never helped eitherbut knowing almost died would never even got point feeling happyand depressing anything ever went throughand thats saying fucking lot hope one gives living mei sure nothing deathi dont wish felt anybodyi know lots people worse still middle able decide go livingi dont want anybody die sad destroyed lifei hope get iti hope everyone find peace livinginstead dying