actually wrong redflagaside itd family course people cant help disturbed death redflag devastated think pain could cause others that live dont want to life constant struggle difficult fulfilled uphill battle alive daytoday basis extreme mental illnesses dont know id diagnosed therapy hasnt helped far carry relatively well therapist doesnt really investigate ask difficult questions dont think thinks theres anything wrong is objectively something wrong me im happy person im constant pain im pleasant person around irritable moody often terrible mood resting bitch face hell short fuse people dont keep plans care people much hardest time showing it struggle express pain way people understand getting worse dont think want continue life never normal healthy happy person never been