set everything second attempt took everything downhi previously tried back november jumping  stories surviving fell tree brain damage thus lot trouble using left side body trouble walking lift left arm right shoulder more doctors say permanent damage left arm may never drink becoming alcoholic since brain much control alcohol before know im lucky damage could much worse still feel like fucked life girlfriend supportive me clearly loves me appreciate much real question is much take decides cant handle anymore ends relationship really think ill attempt redflag succeed time fear set note kitchen phone beside stove emit carbon monoxide indefinitely pilot light go reason maybe antidepressants anyways wanted let everybody know story im still here