cant seem connect peoplei want badly desperately really whole life put flaws issues people try kind empathetic person brings around me feels like something broken everyone else see except me shitty childhood gave lot character flaws including body dysmorphia social anxiety took years thought worked rest life line thought ready dating intimacy ive tried going bars tinder bumble plentyoffish name it match lot people social ineptitude eventually catches thats that ive suicidal thoughts life especially younger used particular tree would think every drive home work real big one curb never foot traffic long straightaway plenty time build speed anyway past year left feeling lost alone ive ever been afraid people like look like never imagined like am want someone see value me know much offer world around me cant seem convince anyone it last weeks especially hard try tricks taught stay happy helped path healing first place seem work anymore cant stop thinking much want feeling stop honestly even know im posting here need something know what feel like im constantly drowning everyone around much fun life want bother bring down always thought tough person matter hard life kept hitting would keep going smile honestly know much longer can feel alone edit anyone there could really use someone talk to little thats okay thanks time edit  please anyone all even listen problems guy girl mongoose care view everyone equal desperately need someone talk