friend diedyesterday friend died met strange circumstances connected us mental illnesses made redflag deep issue she much stronger me flailed cried begged end it fierce strong witty tough loud loud much energy walked room took notice talked shut up laughed echoed walls embodiment getting better two days ago attempted redflag yesterday died im suicidal im lost afraid hurting woman woman stood illness told go got there resist pain end  could ever hope to im wondering push forward toughest among us failed