ask people suicidal thoughts much go hospital like everyday feel like ill take life everyday new way id go it find hard look rope hold knifes cooking feel like ill stab least cut more talk doctor everything every week twice week seems going something get put hospital i going anything point writing  feels like venting maybe really think scale suicidal thoughts tendencies id place high anyway wonder still alive want never wanted be think one time woke said loud happy alive everyday wake usally say alive come meee hospital times terrible mainly involuntary think voluntary probably would better wonder alive point others humans needed world world matter think humans commit mass suicide everyone pops pill government hands take day time outside public place ofc shutdown nuclear plants anything else could mass destruction maybe buy gun run around shooting killing people someone shoots me going die id take many people animals could well anyway question much sense suicidal thoughts go hospital much question venting