life constant embarrassmenteverywhere people laugh me im fucking joke everyone enjoy everything try do end embarrassing myself literally everything try fail fail fail make joke myself like fucking curse something literally took walk outside  minutes ago somehow managed make brother father laugh scared bug come home father yells scared every day things everyone laughs suffer darkness unknown everyone im ugly dumb stupid loser good nothing good nothing theres use anyone telling me oh say good this good that know bullshit wouldve killed  didnt shitty dream comic book artist ive matured know pointless everything is even become comic book artist what doubt anyone care knowing life ill find way embarrass again im used point expect it body pathetic worthless done shit except let down im limited pathetic useless body idea anymore tbh even know kill myself many things happened many damn things idk bear pain live boring lonely embarrassing life end here clue whats next im going wait get college made good decision redflag looking hot rn