people understandi think anyone realizes serious say want shoot myself know generation uses redflag joke usually seem like generally happy person im unhappy wish never existed mean need make peoples lives horrible use music way escape horrible thoughts mother taken away almost everythingincluding phone  music without ive forced really sit stew pile self hate thinking ways could kill myself point care hurts long job kills im good saddest part is handgun house know exactly im much coward go shoot myself shoot fail mother finds deal problems im scared dying partim scared failing live afterwardswish could grab gun drive deserted field shoot myself bullet job animals come eat will