cant keep living like foreverive miserable long time every time think things get better never end feeling even worse cant even things enjoy anymore moments actually fun become ruined get home remember im still alone happiness illusion cant keep going this one seems care feel all keep thwarted every turn try kill myself none people want anything help situation get say anything control life get choose whether born im trapped miserable existence cant anything about completely ridiculous im okay this im okay anything never want be want small things make happy want taken away would rather die terms old die alone one close me refuse let future