venting bother readingive depressed long time now starting feel little better lately tonight however im feeling bad started wondering worth im  single living wellfare life actually came conclusion item appartment actually worked tv everything else either gifts stuff bought money people worked for taxmoney im nothing burden society im worthless piece trash accomplished anything life cost money resources even get better would reason anyone tell me whats reason keep living become productive member society fit in consume work  hours week earn money spend crap need make feel better ill still sitting alone every night staring monitor wondering life person would actually care live die mom friends would forget heartbeat family really care see hear family uncles aunts cousins nobody dads side family even want anything me repulsive  good friend thats it cant even talk problems serious trust issues want end im tired living im scared dying