need help dont know lookive suicidal before ive close too actual attempts though ever feel like im done everything im worn dont even feel alive human anymore im tired living one biggest issues effects every single day life im extremely insecure makes paranoid almost delusional recognize understand feel may actually real cant help feeling becomes reality mind insecurities make relationships hard last relationship first only issues much handle cant trust cant believe them cant open them ive hurt emotionally vulnerable never forgave know need professional help dont money that damn shame dont make enough money help keep alive whats worse one talk to arent many people would understand dont many friends would understand judgmental family would make fun insecure suicidal dont know do doubt redflag helpline offer anything useful know anything might help let know