spoke veterans crisis hotlinewhen younger thought redflag quite lot point life decided going zombie living now thats say moments happiness things fun  decided would live life despite really feeling like point all recently someone base committed redflag reason got thinking lot think might it thoughts passed point return capable same decided last night talk redflag hotline veterans person spoke kept referring helpless hopeless thoughts feelings  ive seen sentiment many posts here feel things amazing life feel like horrible one either see point anything best way explain it paraphrase monologue beginning movie the art getting by since dawn recorded history something like  billion human beings born world single one made it  billion people planet roughly  million die every year  million people comes  per day read quote kid live alone die alone everything else illusion used keep night die alone so supposed spend life working sweating struggling illusion amount friends girl assignments conjugating pluperfect determining square root hypotenuse gonna help avoid fate anyone else problem wanting commit redflag hardships struggles honestly point living