depressed disappointedim seventeen years old feel like life going want it people always tell good am rhchaotic handsome youre smart rhchaotic life ive believed jumped hoops maintain status wear expensive clothing keep groomed keep grades up take college level classes etc yet enough find difficult bond people hard make friends hell people school try avoid talking noticing me probably think im awkward asshole ive thinking maybe im smart everyone thinks im handsome ive looked ways able connect attract people theyve failed ive decided im good enough this feel mind failing me cant focus anything anymore causing grades slip memory getting worse forgetting things happened mere seconds ago refuse become idiot id soon kill myself im good enough anyone im good enough myself whats point living one family wants around you end this want make things clear stated title im depressed least think am im disappointed whats become me mind good was attractive people certainly show ive started consider redflag more maybe theyll care im dead worry impressing anyone anymore id free