im m destined fail destined die im afraid let anyone know really am theyd abandon betray mea lot days really feel like anything left give certainly find nothing particularly inviting encouraging life general ive worked hard accomplished none real goals life ive seen many opportunities go others im left kids table hopelessly earning little scraps scavenge theres honestly nothing look forward to nothing really optimism feel working towards anything also realized lately real autonomy life bills pay work many things others tell me life own im merely subservient wills demands others soon begin even stray script others written me im beaten back obey again life obeying die sense autonomy free sordid illusion destiny obey die order cant believe audacity people work people live lives thinking anything ever matter today work number things utterly useless totally forgotten months time yet pretend important thing universe person enslaves paycheck laughably thinks so people fool delusions relevancy darkly amuse me life worth living existence fake putting mask makes others believe im happy reality day torture think real friends know enjoy time character im playing honest got know real me theyd hate me im paranoid might let real personality thoughts get them theyd betray me probably inevitable given moment im likely slip theyll see realize instead obedient singleserving irrelevant human being im consumed darkness obsessed death ill nothing even fake relationships barely let hang sanity destined die soon destined discovered betrayed tldr fear may found really am ill nothing left even fake things drag along life