dellemmai want kill right now anything world got future suffering get worse out obstacles though die whoever finds scarred life really want happen know anyone would really miss me close people  person would truly miss mom motherly love world would better without though even missed also might cause problems myself brain damage vegetablization though preferred method hanging minimizes risk stay living risk hurt people death increases grow everyone kill myself missed all honestly wish never existed to be well answer anyway be suffer cause anyone else suffer exist joy suffering ratio would go world wish could martyr would really something least killed accidentally instead myself would lot better theres also fact got balls let die want die anything want dead cant it