hey guys normally write stuff ever basically suicidal since like idk   probably suicidal back mind  time since super suicidal like  time nobody rly knows depressed level am closer friends know anti depressants it would appear depressed average person try super positive like rlly nice things homeless people donate stuff like actually sit talk make feel human great heart idk tired lots people would say really pretty self hatred aside average sure reason killed scared pain andor surviving living worse life usual big dreams would love live life would rather dead honest work hard  jobs apartment grades high school good cannot shake feeling think felt alone long hated head fuckint hard long permanently messed brain love also hate myself either look mirror take bunch cute pics even get look mirror ill feel nauseous feel like shutting disassociate think ways kill myself even know writing guess see anyone relates think bothers people take depression seriously pretty nice  sure thanks listening idk