im confused distraught life great recently wife kid rising biologist become professor literally dream two years ago though  year old diagnosed aggressive cancer given year best devastated wife devout catholic atheist difference religion tore us apart sons last days convinced agree familys christian funeral divorced shortly it fell depression bombed interview sleep landed half ass th grade teaching job last year students give two shits it top got laid last day school parents though treated students like shit past week ive thought son like die feel suicidal keep imagining like exist want worse am want talk somebody help put things perspective also want remain anonymous call john