even know fuck wrong anymoreas right now ive pretty much given recovery want out suffer chronic severe nausea lasts day every day break  years almost  suffer panic attacks least  times week im talking  minute attacks last hours anxiety racing thoughts alone enough want die paired physical symptoms im convinced anything death cant bad this left house literally  months younger selective mutism forever known weird one skipped school lot eventually dropped public school grade  im grade  remember going halls people would say ewww even parking lots would see groups peers would make animal noises me friends whatsoever hospital shit doctors area shit crisis line complete bullshit think staying hospital made homicidal ever before incompetent everyone is hate canada hate fucking  month wait lists feel like smarter doctors know symptoms medications would help yet try tell me im dealing bullshit anymore see life ever getting better changing