know options are think want die life worth itthis working im  depressed years now always tried work think way it redflag come mind before ive always convinced option tried im convinced anymore family go myself personality hurts people able change personality years ive tried seems best interest everyone disappear even friends still care  keep going on theyll get estranged lack communication maybe wonder happened side thought years now main emotion adolescence hatred parents told gay horrible gays die said theyd rather one kids die leave religion years later came gay told believe god  that hatred towards parents making feel way im tired now exhausting gets point direction go