redflag something yearn possiblefirst im going kill myself wish could cant single mother two kids killing option place could say outloud here wish id never kids could end life point telling things gone wrong life many know big things fair say life kicked ground time small child day  now everytime think life gets easier maybe turn happy something happends something bad illness fire loss ive dealt shit quite well job apartment pay bills old car major issues im shitty mom used better last six months ive depressed mess led kids causious around me daughter sensitive know suffers seeing suffer strenght pretend im happy last straw ex left me single life taking care kids job looking anyone age  fell love first time really worked hard last course fell apart like things have ive tried get help use tried find medication help depression made feel worse see light end tunnel know none wish could believe god something id hope no thing yearn end this im dramatic tired noone knows friends lives avoid see pain done everything books say got new hobbies volunteering local animal shelter go yoga nothing takes away exhaustion idea still xx years live exhausting know ill get strenght go kids choise joy endless amount dark hours ahead me sounds stupid whining is