never supposed alive tldr parents never wanted feel like reason anymore even stay feel life would continue shit storm dont see theres hope people come world unwanted everything hard me everyday felt like battle even consciously aware living one nothing goes right matter hard try supposed way youre supposed miserable years theres supposed peace somewhere within know misery father even told recently mom hospital dying never supposed alive parents abusive also extremely abusive relationship stress literally kills thats dying stress life dad ultimately put through cause death mom never wanted me shes like  abortions maybe more knows point dad forced nerve even show hospital sign birth certificate wrong many levels youve got sick fuck order something incomprehensible guess thats feel stuck lost now come something like supposed rest life mainly feel cursed love one best parts alive since ill never experience family loving whats point theres romantic love thats really built love comes family wont exist either dont know life never wanted anyone first place everything feels vacant painful