fucking terrified right nowi first full big year college  amp took  fucking years get life even remotely together relationships romantically blew fuck face lies cheating wonderful combination alone  years amp depression slowly gets worse like slow acting poison friends facebook distant family relationship see happy amp kills me want cry amp cant stressed college feel get anything career path one person knew amp close met video game wow amp close close ironing works ldr blew face wonderful explosion lies her always get lied to understand why kind hearted man creepy things like step bounds female friends always respectful amp always step first help people perpetually find shortest end stick life anyways best friend amp im alone fears amp one talk to want someone wrap arms around amp tell ok im scared getting worse amp worse keep thinking easy way out big coward it desire there amp feel like trash it always others need it soul found me get hand fuckim scared amp confused