tried kill myselfi tried kill oding paracetamol took  pills g each took played music tried fall asleep head spinning fall asleep pretty long time eventually did im here feel nothing mentally pyshically feel numb stomach aches little dry mouth theres weird chemical smell know coming from thats it honest part expected this hoping would work im scared kill way thought going sleep never waking wonderfull feel like attention kind way self harm instead actual redflag attempt whole thing pretty impulsive thought before never followed through evening confronted reality started thinking suffer anymore kill myself waited parents go bed could get pills waiting wrote letter made sure cool friends sibling one would feel guilty anything like that it im even phased now know feel strange know now am took pills around am know effects get worse part hopes do know tho