really getting point need unloadyes created this many people know usual handle made throwaway really want people know heads up sentence structure order damned im unloading comes expect much way formatting anyway sit popping another painkiller wonder hell life got point im  married veteran going college literal dream job cant make ends meet ive looked work nobody wants hire college student ive put applications career type work looks like going go through heart fear getting stuck job ill never chance dream job again wife works ass off cant even find part time job got nice love note apartment complex saying theyre going court tomorrow cant pay rent va shorted us last month housing allowance going much better feel like stayed service soul crushing least paychecks bad veterans affairs concerned numbers actually giving care vets sterotypes true there defeating feeling im trying come woe me begging pity thats style ask younger sister money tomorrow continue struggle even get ahead anything like wife live large american style going eat every meal charging everything credit cards drive beatup  pickup truck pos honda civic thats beyond last leg needs five major things cant afford feel like bum loser failure summer best friend killed similar reasons see it told id never follow footsteps im imagining belt around neck sensible action well ive unloaded enough everyone ridiculous financial troubles sympathy hope overcome them goodnight sw shitstorm awaits tomorrow