honestly f livingthis morning sucked nitrous two cans cream cough syrup ritalin couple drugs preparation ending it put favorite alice chains songs writhed cried floor  minutes tying noose daddys elastic bands was survival instinct kicked cartoids crushed got undone barely hate it bulimia acting back up feel physically weak it bipolar killing me depression endless turned  month ago job cannot drive nobody loves me one ever has ex boyfriend raped me dated please mom girlfriend killed blamed addictions nobody loves me want loved ive never known that since nana died five years ago know endless insults hate recieve get put daily im freak nobody loves me really must useless one friend little time me doubt cares therapist paid care mommy yell daddy screams back feel lost hate myself whats point whats point feel like complete failure life nothing offer last thing world needs another tortured artist