maybe soon maybe next week end it im stucknow months almost everyday kind thoughts end all one wants me soon worthless masters degree real friends family job probably never have real working skills  years self learning studying software engineering recently got interested hacking one wants hire me even making coffee well could economy stuff every week made pact self win lottery kill self never done it graduation closer closer options getting fewer seems anything offer anyone job people true know shit im social able anything weeks get depressed something always im visiting student health center sent away always saying time room public health center says go student center you responsibility thanks lot fuck them feel really leave city even country find something worth living would again job money place go im really stuck here whats point keep living one cares wants care make much sense since im hysterical crying slept much recently