life fucking jokelike said  life fucking joke  nothing really worth preserving  despite average optimist would tell  anything offer im going cultivate  might laziness might something else  breakthrough tonight perfect time frame im finally going bite dust  could built stress summer id prefer  really ideal time would first year move house  distance family friends eventually forget  theyd probably never know at least  death cover well even find would long grief would minimal comment like damn shame  personally think perfect  perhaps posted sanctioned redflag something  idk maybe subconscious holding  maybe im comfortable 