life nothing tortureback story around  father always stubborn man born mother two miscarriages never knew told caused father kicking stomach pregnant proof happened however knowing abusive nature father certainly believe it mother would rebuild house bought less k terrible condition leaks ceiling rats everywhere including slept dad drinking gallon wine per day doubt more started truck driving started rebuild house help horrible lazy construction workers worked small amount money thats could afford would go home depot haul supplies us afraid leave us alone likely babies fall asleep would shake us viciously mother found spied saw performing cruel abuse us babies never called cops never understood see money know hed leave abuse more said would abuse shed spend money road rebuild house unlivable condition back  mother always loving person would never hurt anyone amazing power fortunately received lot money someone helped lot father pushed buy truck picked used truck k ended purchasing course selfemployment truck repaired multiple times severely put mom debt lot money i believe number around kk mother declare bankruptcy decided sell truck k one would buy higher  months ago abusing us body alcohol tobacco went doctor stomach pains turns esophagus cancer stage  refused take doctor recommended treatments went retreat cure cancer instead put k debt treatment helped making feel better close nothing came curing cancer kept reading alternative medicine treatments online curing cancer hes bought natural products work sadly thinks works financially secured dads pension recently took away us pay treatment mother told could declare bankruptcy way debt removed refused asked help pay debt capable spending savings pay treatment declined result hiding pension money recently accident parking lot driving papers fell car tried open door grab papers car moving ended falling car car crashed another parked car course insurance went  father locked room ignored mother presumably avoid paying increase insurance mother demanded pay insurance claimed money spent pay treatment driving around barely walk think properly takes  seconds think say midsentence still license endangering lives driving around public roads ive told drive course became defensive im father boss around bs events breaks heart never knew anyone could selfish cheap stubborn abusive psychotic father barbarian disgusts every morning wake up entire house smells like body decay still get hes dying asked feels enthusiastically attempts say great feel good me ive always felt suicidal think ever kill myself picked middle school made feel disconnected everyone became abusive like father hit sistermother  feel like im living mental illness constant brain fog hard talk people properly im always quite know talk people ill fuck up friends say look normal talk normally thats im around them brain mapping lot shit wrong me said likely traumatic brain injury suspect father baby im going expensive university free im lazy never go computer science class shit already learned online free im always homework last minute motivated work started semester fell bad habits fucking hate life partially fault id appreciate input need get life together im depressed mood writing sleep deprivation