miss mom miss great grandma mmshe used vibrant independent tennis player volleyball player dancer swimmer first grade teacher put entire heart job shes epilepsy years doctors found matter brain epilepsy medicine combined lack independence she cant drive swim etc risk seizures changed her shes depressed talks killing wanting live im scared depressed mostly feeling like failure maybe would want live somehow better daughtersisterperson actually am wish siblings enough reason keep striving life great grandma mm died little ten years ago id give anything around right now shed know say taught sew tea parties time