living overratedsometimes feel like people trying scam staying alive good greater good always say thing life wonderful course bad sides good sides make worthwhile etc thing is already know that like hate life think miserable feel like im ready move next journey im done living hard feelings before whenever used get suicidal thoughts id always really dark place recently everything seems clear me ive begun plan death couple years time hopefully join  club try settle debts get sort insurance make whole thing look like accident family wont burdened im gone dont really feel anything this task like planning vacation like know sure take life one day need work complications limiting time give strong sense control life living aimlessly knowing youre gonna die ultimate reassurance