reason complain yet feel like shit time long remember never felt quite right feel empty never really see point living hate alive deal world tried killing before life fun every day seems worse last  years remember time truly happy thing keeps going something another suicidal friend told me might well stick around see anything cool happens im always waiting looking nothing ever though tried crazy things make life meaningful traveling multiple sex partners great relationships readingeducation social butterfly internshipsjobs etc nothing works though usually get bored tiredi would rather spend whole day laying eating anything