feel hopeless stupidim really struggling tab laptop open nearest hospital get get back medication anxiety high im afraid it feel like made mistake moving boyfriend feel like everything mistake annoys him know feel relationship anymore got owi pay ticket plus pay  drug alcohol assessment addition pay rent water internet upside im taking semester work try save money im severe anxiety making rentwaterinternet also paying ticket assessment feel lonely ugly feel like would easier went away forever im unhappy myself morning ripped apart painting started knife excited start it feel like deserve happy hate myself worst part feel frozen seek help im afraid move apartment even month yet means relationship feel like human garbage