fiance abandoned one day left nothing place safety net trying live friends feel empty inside place world worked much therapy anchored much past trauma thought nothing works anymore lost ocean agony trying best live friends cat know long hold for lost much weight already trying eat taking vitamin try keep stuff okay love life finish sentences sort love suddenly gone trapped apartment alone want belive light side hard see it anti depressent remove ability feel cannot smile cry laugh tried finding work disability work hard find issue needed work right away since better off everything name id lose healthcare joint sorry formatting make posts often abandoned