struggling suicidal thoughts days worse likely common theme people similar situation always reluctant even vent little anyone real life online feel problems thoughts less importance think others going much worse me mostly keep quiet feel whether negative positivehowever today guess finally decided vent little even get responses reactions maybe make feel better regardless go everything makes feel anxious depressed hopeless etc ill keep brief sake anyone reading mention one lost mother  years ago everything me whatever good trait if any died home last moments think anything painful face facteven though supposed venting want whoever sees know sorry know are sorry cannot help whatever going through sorry going physical mental pain hope get gain strength keep living able happy feel loved ill first say love youthank reading  hello