stupidi cant live without her want suggestions get better want post thoughts left her uplifting energy went her probably karma wish knew frequent day dream committing redflag would talk it last time talked cussed said deserved experience fours years still experience much negative emotion feel worthless think im narcissistic little punk started trying get another girl happen timing issues trying get intimate another girl felt like upgrade jerk was bet would still jerk females would show interest me anyways without somebody loving want kill myself nothing want live for thing want die things might get better also parents done much try make feel better things might get better fuck that might win lottery buy ticket mean buy one ocd depression also grandfather bipolar schizophrenic im sure genetics favors far emotional well concerned happiness leave ex want hurt talking also want feel like again stubborn always seem reject taking path getting better