hate everyone im depressedi recently diagnosed bipolar ii years years undiagnosed depression anxiety many redflag attempts go waves anger numbness long periods depression ive worst pandemic living alone home time little progress made build back completely undone barely get bed now im near constant state depersonalization periods intense anger start suddenly hate everyone seemingly reason want cut anyone life good like uncontrollable urge every redflag attempt failed misery increases like trying force things get worse cant even stop anymore dont old saying hurt people hurt people misery loves company im trying make things unbearable choice find inner strength finally get done successfully im helpless stop dont even care time im here drinking morning whiskey coffee missing another holiday fucked broken mind nothing even feels real dont even know really exist kind jacobs ladder situation needs end one way another cant anymore hate everything