would stay sign things would get better things bad last three years keep getting worse tough feel im cursed im bipolar many months doctors thought schizophrenic because psychotic episodes present way disorders dealing stressful project work noticed imagination getting vivid period months thinking technicolor started getting paranoid people trying set failure take advantage me compounded stress family member experiencing serious liferuining illness landed hospital extended stay snapped stopped able cope reality invented imaginary world escape extremely overactive imagination filled blanks delusion matrix existed created illuminati went many lifetimes trying find way out began believe psychic communicating around either helping supporting illuminati even difficult delusion tied whole life story experiences like perfect web lies get own lived like  months incredible stress pretending normal trying figure do got point continue working acted work  meeting w superior called hr told take  weeks off took  months work doctors identify bipolar reaction medication schizophrenia included month long hospital stay surprise doctor thought schizophrenic first bipolar bad untreated bipolar takes long treat lithium kill increase slowly blood tests course  months took  years go reach stability spent lot time hospital laying bed taking walks nurses checking couple times day nice time relax fraught even delusions still going hospital took two three weeks antipsychotics thoughts calm down return work eventually lessstressful role per occupational therapists suggestion months occupational therapist said could return normal work work never put back normal projects im assuming want client facing chance could happen again little less year almost weekly doctors visits told need role anymore position terminated want pursue human rights claim even though occupational therapist said should saw exhausting taking time away job search ruining possibility key references thats story mental illness stealing sanity job independence course several years wonder people turn drugs life fall apart year year absolutely ptsd flashbacks daily im extremely lucky parents support this become homeless   bipolar people commits redflag right cant afford independent humiliating living situation certainly nontoxic would great universe gave sign continue part society really need positive momentum reserves empty hope  involves finding good job become independent again interviews coming january wish luck please need it things turn around im planning make exit