almost  years clinical depression ive finally started genuine attempt pull out one people never see best myself ive never able bee good enough standards set myself kinda like anorexia aspects life guess always problem me example swimmer actually pretty good swimmer first year high school swimming almost made state championships fact times good enough place pretty well state team really good youre able send certain amount people state back then saw good enough couldnt see past fact didnt make it never even considered fact first year never even considered fact multiple gold medals jv meets races saw enough last pretty muchyear gained  pounds  pounds insanely depressed ashamed past like  months massive problem me way could pretty much anything sports need get back shape finally got motivation start turning life around right now im going try start getting regular exercise start eating healthier im going get consistent sleep schedule finally start homework sorry sucks im pretty trash writer  tldr finally got motivation start trying pull depression