whyim breaking point mentally emotionally physically school relationships health appearance habits room terrifying disgusting blight look at energy clean up want to think time it skin ruined forever thanks compulsive picking oil glands confused pores huge scarred skin dry acneridden nothing fix it perfect ruined it gpa  falling made  sats come this skipped everything midterm last semester  weeks semester ive skipped week completely  days one class particular im diagnosed handful mental disorders fear experienced first psychoticschizoid break im sure evidence strong terrified never believed god afterlife ive never tried take life ending life would end suffering merely ensure family suffered absence know believe now believe universe im tired planet want set consciousness free mortal coils