want die im scaredi want die wish could want guts it fucking it cant im pussy pain want endless torturous cycle end want feel true happiness feels like this fake ass im okay version happiness want able wake want die able go day without sinking feeling chest feels like feeling chest cry alot heavy gray sinking feeling time every second every day want lift weight chest let someone else carry it im sick small flashes happiness torn away me hate it hate this know sometimes feel depressed thing always helps going website anonymously listen vent people go listener always listen problems give heartfelt advice years living nobody done me nobody ever sit listen me give actually helpful advice things get better hell start cant go on stop ruins sleep happily able walk past someone look eyes happy hate want throw up im sick shit sit earth suffer deep inside hate everyone