thought getting betterhi redflag watch id like make disclaimer exact moment suicidal before fortunately i think made through trying prevent getting back point throwaway want reminded ifwhen make through living depression past  years past summer got help needed proper professionals getting better help meds changes lifestyle unfortunately short lived march year attempted end life made time did met recent significant other beginning helped me knew issues problems helped could exactly needed exact time needed it may well saved life monday blue ended things feel slipping back state meeting her since come light left man  years younger her feel like ive failed myself cant blame her said mental health well long distance relationship hard know case far dependant someone else happiness time felt like option im lost scared want ever go back know next time might lucky im interested making amends getting back together her thinks little throw everything away like that know breakup good thing want feel like felt before thank you