struggling push thoughts awaymy last attempt around  years ago ive handled daily suicidal thoughts pretty well since then usually resilience push away nonsense aspergers make friends easily ones ended pushing away removing  days ago even guilty remove entire group due negativity since im back self harming strength cope thoughts think im safe usually im make attempt get serene almost bliss like feeling wash ive found answer yet thats usually things go bad even know im typing out think need tell someone know someone read something know tried fill void wife kids working makes feel worse things supposed matter right like makes even shittier person dont second thought maybe im safe thought ive already started rationalising gonna get computer think thats way stay safe right now