know why felt compelled share anecdote todayperhaps belong here ill probably delete post alcohol benzodiazepines wear offbefore pick bottle face struggle another  hours however thought would share moment life suppose true relief feels like number months ago working longtime friend mine owned small business hired work me road day talking felt convinced take day visit large city far liveone largest america walking street massive city hundreds thousands people still felt completely alone much always do then single young woman morning run passed us met eyes mine short couple seconds one deepest conversations ever hadbut words ever spoken ive gotten proficient putting mask on ive become master showing others expect see instead real moment though let see unguarded self decades internal pain torment tears hurt buried long reasoni felt understoodlike seconds okay never talked it im sure remember young man day still gives peace able think back moment know ill never another like it id like think last conscious breath im able see kind understanding eyes looking back minds eye able to perhaps others young woman day sometimes simple moments like mean troubled us