im angry timeim angry everything classes started recently im upset im missing year freedom im going third year university finally felt like good headspace able manage classes felt ready improve grades finally felt confident enough try making friends pandemic happens ruins everything top that home life sucks theres lot fighting goes on parents argue lot sister fights parents etc parents pretty overprotective us well makes hard go whenever want im overall super depressed situation feel like nothing look forward to grades shit past two years shy make friends mostly stuck myself feel like need balance life bad social life major reason grades struggled much year joined club feel like im finally gaining confidence become social person hard everything online feel alone recently ive lot bad thoughts history cutting although havent done  months urges becoming really strong hard resist find constantly laying bed listening angry music also cant stand around people anymore find everyone fake feel like ive become angry cynical person know therapist always tells need change mindset much easier said done