ive raped cant take anymorei violently raped turned  boy thought loved im coming th birthday cant fucking think right now im depressed barely understand happened do couch jeans tshirt still remember television fact parents stairs fact raining drive home it said would kill left fucking stayed like  months treated like fucking object could whatever wanted to grab boobs whenever wanted shove hands pants nothing object force oral sex shoving head down yeah stronger me didnt want sex wanted fucking wait everything felt used man tired memories im tired everything man him use sex told loved would complain didnt feel like sex threatened fuck ex like  times together didnt rape felt constantly anxious wondering anything worth anymore im here im numb except nightmares cry time okay rn dont know im here dead end job want end im sorry needed tell someone