feel never livedall life thrown around people consider friend one else find someone else would talk anymore even block social media whatsapp reply messages thought life got better found friend mine got close talked everything sun eventually got together months friendships classmate spend lot time together broke months  days relationship rd march depressing blamed insecurities previous weeks constantly talking another boy junior orientation kidmeans orientation group leader school got close started talking much gradually talk less said never like last weeks relationship started sending pictures whenever say want see also started talking lot conversations asked join dates accepted without thinking feelings also got parents send school something always wanted never accepted within one month knowing him already let catch ride school parents car talk parents despite knowing  year months never let see parents go great lengths ensure parents dont see me time also go library study invited me would also rather go home go home me make feel insecure actions yet maintain never together past week since broke insecurities couldnt handle it started talking ignored me front face laugh talk happy around him started sending hearts messages happen see text class something never used do also broke promise would skype one else today skyped know asked since online skype today rarely days except skype me feel never live lot problems like family never peace friends loner feelings start snowball feel depressed wish antidepression medicine feel bad without want jump building stab knife know im crazy getting betrayed scammed feelings whole life isnt something take it someone talk to people side feel like belong world