im lowest low ive many times really strength anymorethis lot apologize advance strength move on many people angry me unjust fixable anymore sexually abused couple times family cant go parents reason cant even write here now rejected held onto leash two months even like start final straw gave much cared much way deluded really thing kept sane motivated im gay ive trying get boyfriend really long time im currently  came started dating  ive rejected many times rejection part dating understand heartbreak heal overtime strength anymore ive many times people tell aboveaverage handsome really nice caring never ever received anything good it ampxb home nothing antidepressants seem work want die really really do wake feel clear good  seconds back physical pain again hurts alive im screaming home fall asleep floor eaten  days even find anything undertake anything anymore tried happy really did started writing book drawpaint lot make music get anything anymore im done need miracle see breathing  days ampxb amazing friend love much probably keeping point cant anymore im alone alone nothing want help want talk friends anymore ive much point say im like baby take care of psychiatrist  times life cant afford go again cant go back there ampxb ampxb