_________i dont know start off say but feel helpless feel defeated im  started college september im england took year school due reasons ill go bit happy while much anymore ive problems since primary school ive constantly bullied harrassed beaten ignored every inch self esteem confidence annihilated confidence issues college become pretty bad thing me gonna sound dumb im miserable crush girl know ill never confidence talk even know wouldnt like me thats big deal everything always feels like big deal smallest joke expense smallest mistake make hits really hard think lot never really affected strongly get bit sad move on days ago overcome overwhelming feeling stress sadness depression collapsed standing dont even know why like couldnt bring even stay standing im crier feeling left tears running cheeks lay becoming depressed second thinking every wrong decision ive ever made everything gave would made better person today every way someone hurt me everyone ive lost everything done make someone else happier hate myself feel like im taking space someone else could taken up someone could done me done better me dont feel clear headed right now apologise isnt well written down help bit got dumped summer found cheating  months relationship top that grandma died beggining year mums boyfriend verbally abusive havent even able see dad months sleeping fucked college feel like problems whiney people worse makes feel even worse feeling depressed this dont even want send feels longwinded doesnt seem like makes much sense theres lot this dont want type anymore wish would die edit feel like need add now done many times best friend stops replying boyfriend comes online like didnt put whining mexico even best friend cant fucked someone else would rather talk online