days want die painful way possible suffering moment would absolve wrong done continue others many times could kinder aspect personality come break it prideful sore loser jealous meanspirited come from even know blame household even could would even excuse job better came me also selfish want badly excused embraced flaws despite them able prideful cruel bastard still loved sometimes one wrong sometimes get apology instead give it sometimes think fundamentally unlovable hard get along smart placate perhaps intelligence stupidity people reassure love support feels disingenuous maybe done disingenuously before say cruel unfoundedi wants disgusts contradict overlap like someone touch starved hates touched really want know even know begin know tired days want sleep slip away dreams reflection