everyone gives me give myselfi tried hard sorts bad things happening all anger sadness depression recently started taking antidepressant zoloft taking birth control pills made suicidal thoughts go roof major mood swings days cant function ive way clingy thought persevering would okay going well im going stop taking them fucked up fucked up person really matters me gave me im going rough time obviously owe same wish given me made feel like world collapsing beautiful going succeed changed mind lot things nobody else ever able to thinking might want kid someone able love me someone able open me care me felt important valued first time life breakdown two days ago made look like fool telling badly needed him say word me tell why even say good bye best friend years bestest friend recent fell love ruined everything im much would take dinner ski trip parents birthday spend many nights me tell loves me disappear always ruin everything always happens care much let people inside walls disappear like even there thats im worth im going make st birthday ive enough cant anymore cant keep letting people find problems get worse around christmas birthday every year disappear hope die tonight theres really much left anymore cant trust anyone cant let anyone everyone help pour soul to cry sit suicidal moments nobody me always ends giving up told would different this wonderful person best friend three years least gone cant take control emotions first break heart give without word last cant anymore bad times obviously outweigh good things offer everyone leaves least leave first choice anymore