attempted january got job last week relationship everyone ruined today bf one year left againwell again im loser shitty excuse human being fooled thinking could get better functional adult truth im not piece crap everyone hates me strong anxiety sometimes feeling overwhelming cant breath heart racing everything turns dark attempt tried make everything better failed cant help feel everyone must better without me finally got job company right next one mobbed last time working ex boyfriend understand anxiety going close people work cos starve kids family hates stated clearly could taken away kid hospital didnt child support live mother hopeless narcissist every day torture everyday hope courage jump infront train nobody would miss me stated fucked nobody needs me well illusion everything lie im loser really regret poison work completely last time guess later cut arms tomorrow stand infront station build courage jump kill sorry self im shit sorry read that everyone struggles much here know what freaking amazing send hug every one you im giving up somehow thought death makes feel relaxed like finally sure piece shit deserve die rot deserve anything thank reading sorry again