even dream thought killing myselfit felt like one heavy days weight ignored couldnt distract way it chest felt heavy limbs help looked down looking way hide end day people finally end it fairly crowded place could see edge felt like jumping saw her swear ignored me though carefully observed place best part it somebody offered sleep medicine spit first cup drank more suddenly went near held me fake doesnt want caught place anything dont want settle lies im awake limbs hurt carried grom dream feel heaviness enveloping me holds people id rather holding me accidentally gave wound recently knife cooking ive wanting purpose help hope dream better tomorrow