equipment ready im peace idea something urges tell someonehey all havent feeling well lately thats antidepressants the th one ive tried consistently im away college undergrad currently good grades hand intense theoretical high energy physics research could blame covid im feeling reality im exhausted im hypercritical bodyphysical appearance self esteem show it try workout regularly point body feeling like fall apart cant stop im  thought id stop giving shit cut things friend my true friend around here grew fond kept triggering episodes trauma dont want go detail childhood saverbal abuse related definitely ties self esteem appearance tools needed fix car leak fumes cabin want night uninterrupted plan concealing anyall reflective surfaces little star gazing go sleep something still urges say something