really want kill myselfi recently get rid closest best friend least mutual feel empty void now want die nobody understands me nobody wants help im insufferable bastard im antidepressants ive counseling im still it none ever helped people telling try psychedelics fuck that want to want die now life ever gets worse people tell it gets better fucking hasnt never will thats shit argument irl friends im losing online ones bf thats online too want help want someone save me nobody will nobody can im alone