notive depressed years family trip  realised people like depressed put mask people already seem like hope since ive managed accumulate  friends parents kicked finally shared depression them one cares ive rejected every person ive ever asked out im  things get worse even im financially well still feels though happiness myth distraction constantly thinking painting walls working everyone talks reasons people kill people leave behind happens person anyone find body till someone smelled it friends manage make always disappear try tell depression like weird magic trick see hope turning shit hole life around im going die alone unhappy speed shit up feel selfish wanting someone talk to pussy maybe could finally pull trigger