like thisi keep thoughts redflag cant seem stop them keep thinking easy would life over leaving everything behind soon exwife kids could much better dad parents family take granted look child im pathetic hate god damned much cant stop it want change different want stop feeling depressed anxious weak want stop feeling like burden want stop feeling like life value cant change that im tired im scarred everything im laying holding doe like heavy weight dont know am thought turns others expected be thought im ready disappear selfish im ready leave behind cant live cant change feel like never ill fat slob version forever whats point people might say kids would good reason know love matter time mess lives disappoint too never thought life would like 