seriously cant stand waking living shitty life anymorei guess people would call schizophrenia thats bad yeah  ive isolated geographically relationally point literally see anyone outside immediate family extreme perverted selfhatred myself every single aspect  hate it body mind  disgusting fucking skin bothers me wanna peel fucking skin experience couple moments outside flesh couple people care  messaged today literally  person replied supposed best friend straight told drugs even said anything problem  literally idea going on says im dope take care two people  one disability enough failed also useless piece shit comes them like still fucking hurts  wish programs redflag assistance want sloppy everyone see body get freaked out im tired pretending better really cant ive plenty chances ive failed every single time wish attention really do life one big fucking cringe people want nothing me it blame them fantasize quickly bullet would end noise  constant battle within head finally even realize dead honestly people always going see junked loser would rather high deal people talking shit