best friend lives  hours train ride away often meet met  years ago meeting online friends became friends remained contact past  years became best friends basically speakplay games online daily basis know gf pretty well sometimes join play hangs us gf travelled city next mine meet best time long time cannot even remember maybe best weekend life weekend eventually passed went home took bus home way home felt bit contributed tiredness got home took shower decided go sleep got really depressed felt sad could sleep started cry really hit hard cried years since awake crying time time know speak tomorrow work know meet future method cope ease pain live map train are feel like fucking stalker now want text him know either sleeps good time want ruin him depressed past years bad times past nothing could get through ever feel sad depressed never happened prior occasion makes sense me happening really depressed really good weekend friends