ever think net effect world go man killed now might even something positiveive thinking lately cumulative usefulness person  like aggregate shit or mostly havent done now whether meaningful positive impact people around me know guys dig it realize people like me inherent drain others society resources even themselves produce anything help anyone sort suck resources better allocated someone deserving produced better people me finished masters degree last year got one year unemployment ive living parents grown hate probably much hate  today mom told unfair sit around day spending money totally right fair them pay medicine im suboxone opiate addiction developed grad school therapy plus car shit absurd parasitical relationship know sustainable even taking account broader parasitic relationship rest society  provide value contribute nothing anyone im subidised betters part would like much physically validate crippled way already feel internally shooting kneecap trying damage brain enough shit bother more would merely logical extrapolation current uselessness im getting that like ive sort reached point obvious calculus ive tried things supposed able earn basic living meet friends find wife house etc im  things worked  probably fault ive got enough worthless statistics historical knowledge know system merciless general sense well  options continue imposing parents accede mindbendingly depressing reality best possible option six years school earning hr rest life thus maintaining current standard living miserable addition retail years honestly feels like fate worse death finally killing like ive always wanted strikes me finally working chutzpah throw front bus eat bushel pills blow brains out whatever would positive impact world individual action im capable could would dramatically improve lives family financially emotionally  imagine relief would provide them dissipating tension uncertainty surrounding failson importantly would remove cyclical web anhedonic consumption labor characterizes life united states today sucking food oxygen resources selling labor gold encrusted ghoul tiny contribution perpetuation injustice bullshit world fat complacent shithead american would eliminated moral victory even quantitatively meaningless ive posted arrogant bourgeois someone like terminally obsessed redflag also possessed profound fear death especially people world  subreddit  really suffer suffer lot firstworld troglodyte upset useless education get job like daddy age kind cant stop thinking that actually awful life people getting worse real possibility relief role personally play perpetuating misery others consumer first world millions people world mucking dirt mining rare earths bare hands tortured death turkmen dungeon would read spit gall complaining theyd right that still feel gaping fucking overwhelming misery desire finally get with palatable options rant went longer wanted address people here feel like made contribution world yall follow logic here