anybody else suicidal super irrational reasonsim suicidal im tall woman record im twenty four years old ive feelings since ninth grade cant seem stop coming cant even tell come from super irrational thing suicidal over people take seriously  root cause depression medication work part cant change people get much affects me breakdowns  times day barely leave house quit job want seen public measure compulsively  times every week course help first thing people comment whenever see me and course something complain people would think im humblebragging since apparently tall desired reason cant share even fraction much affects life theyd horrified know whats wrong taken life want shorter since never ever happen way makes feel hopeless id honestly rather die know problem probably never go away cant live rest life like this