life been worst past  years rped abortion catholic family shot directly gun frienda man tried abduct meput truck sister went coma  months clinically dead minutes physically abused everyway boyfriend figured seizure condition kill within  years or lesswow whole paragraph think past  years go things ill sad remember something random like abortion raped fact something unbelievable traumatic forgettable compared everything else wowwhat wrong me am luck like this like things done one person everything separate group people different parts country kidnapping thing happened days ago finally got courage work outgo run outside scared people second day years man tried kidnap mesomething life right something off feel like human guinea pig tested see far human pushedi want go crazy want control anymore tired want someone take body need anymore give up give this want anymore suicidaldepressed ever since remember certain point care hurting family need put empathy aside care myself game quit whoever win do please someone tell want alive want hurt family