die skies small planeso im  successful attractive married wife adores feelings anything ive depressed entire life tried doctors pharma anti depressants even tried recreational drugs get last  years helped till tolerance builand stopped working kids parents worry about real friends depression ruined life thsts all accept it people get cancer illness pass away  years old interested airplanes dad aerospace engineer hes gone  years successful home outright california many rental properties net worth around  million money never made happy bought lamborghini whim thinking would bring joy kept garage  years sold it desire interest sex opportunity women desire im like story a loser feels unloved inferior thats hates life  quite love told im attractive got good going brain sick depression depression slow painfull tortured existence depressed understand guess like illness mental goes on better get cancer die suffer depression  years ive decided wanna live much longer illness wanna found hanging garage something unpleasant like overdose gunshot methods  im gonna take  years get private pilots license thrn either buy a small plane go solo flight maybe take pills alcohol numb crash hillside mountain way people say died something loved died passion thats better remembered loser hung garage sound bizarre