trying love reality sets insome days control days everything triggers tramatic images flashbacks worst maybe im narc idk try forgive think okay along reality sets realize always something wrong me people say matter others think everyone says see beauty intelligence greatness yourself try put makeup act confident people look weird tell want say and sometimes do tell im modelstill ugly try join convos stuttering shyness anxiety instantly makes look stupid eyes others soim stupid im ugly past full proof special ed counseling getting told ugly constantly everyone treating like im challenged present got great idk im always aware could shatter moment im eventually ill thete catch ruin it