town depressing fuck like insane levels boring parents lot money get cars fun stuff here ended losing friends depressed sitting around day everyone really really cold mean like everyone says small townsi fun years friends hung every day fun stuff but still never invited anything people hated me parents poor going vacations anything us hanging boring town came back home culture shock hell walked outside today friday night everything pitch black empty everything closed even bar totally dead could even see city could walk outside crowds trains go beach overi tried outgoing possible since got back messaged every single person used know social media everyone really cold either ignoring same always walked around hours went places eat hung there tried going shitty bar shut covid reason cannot even think single way make friends car like one two small shops small parkeven lived big city make friends people friendlier feel defeated living long friends anywhere anything stuff completely alone years got depressed nothing drink smoke weed every day passed barely get bed feels impossible anything without friends social enough able walk strangers became friends want like  friendseven friends always better meeting talking people always friends could get vibe tell loser barely friends anything really think take anymore loneliness get suicidal thoughts daily get random thoughts would much easier take one step rooftop grow old alone every day miserable everyone know loser already tried killing twice tons dumb shit hoping diei could go fucking bad feel like lost life town friends want kill