know really tired car family  hours hermit human completely social energy emotionally tired guess allowed snap dissociation mode actually feel something set stubbed toe real bad know really stupid way set off parents started laughing dad offered advice said joking right genuinely know mom said call  really condensing way went room starting hyperventilating felt tense head lost control calmed continued crying sat silence trying build walls back up mom came said wrong said mentally ill i cope humor started laying  america depressed life kept repeating ill even though two anti depressants go therapy regularly started thinking lot actually comfort makes feel small feeling feel every time confront is always says nobody perfect best could would cry feel bad never talk fully heal recognizes depression real thing downplays severe it tried speaking sister instead problems flat said know depressed atheist made frustrated got left room similar instances brother mom saying could depressed since middle class familyidk point post is kind put thoughts seeing paranoid actually discovering something ps grateful though least send therapy get meds panic attack crying questioning family support