honestly worst feeling world one person care love tell hate you yeah know fucked everything change her night told got bed went backyard found good strong long rope set darkness preparing departure comes finds me taking escape her goes back inside went look another escape route ended finding old ratchet straps set again time horse trailer tied half assed noose pit around neck sat downas feel drifting darkness hear call worried tone thought myself maybe still care me maybe keep living almost final goodbye times wish was no instead stood removed strap around neck sat crying myself ended finding saying could come back inside  nights ago still sleep bed me say i love you  call babe hug me kiss me nothing feel like stranger home know keep going like this promised one thing happens me hate say serious want life it wish could know late wife even want anymore