want die never asked life never desire aspiration become anything hurt many times throughout life pain moments everything small talk inevitably useless time spent romantic notredflag implode means nothing end whole make best bullshit something tired hearing depression absolute certainty add little value society yes bpd but lot people want quiet left alone without feeling fucking lonely time know really make sense like welcome brain reason want burden fall onto anyone else like clean mess plan funeral explain it constant fear inconvenient thing keeping alive blah blah blah