think killing self everydayi dont want use gun bc idea get one plus know wouldnt able go it mostly fear wouldnt shoot correctly end vegetable state cant take pills bc none strong enough dont want end getting stomach pumped ive considered slitting wrists letting bleed many things online say takes hours itt effective bc many people cut right area people wake feel nauseas lightheaded lot pain wish someone would kill would get diagnosed something will dont want live anymore im afraid it im coward hate myself want die