for year now i ve always thought of suicide a a back up plan whenever somethings went wrong i just thought oh well i m not going to be here much longer it doesn t matter but i ve never thought of the aftermath i hate the thought of my decomposed possibly mangled body i hate the fact my family friend would have to see that i hate to put them in that position ive never thought of it in their perspective in general im just a coward it might sound good i don t want to kill myself but now i feel very claustrophobic i feel like i cant breathe there no escape