possible speed heart disease muscle wasting disease specific heart break last year decided enough enough im trying alone long story short guys cant go like im wheelchair bound ive become burden family recognise anymore since lost job friends either married left im tormented nobody cares disabled men ive met disabled woman never alone ive lucky enough also heart disease ill die years met men survived scared see future may involve electric wheelchairs spoon fed dinner every female boyfriend married men find nurses want kill myself way speed heart disease md awful wish everyone made far best