think im donei honestly know carry on start want say tomorrow might different today last friday could think switching off used want using addict since ive clean sober  years ive always coped pretty well even back ever thought wanted stop using  kids one severe complex needs makes difficult deal guilt feeling way cant abandon them head full conflict guess conflict thats keeping here head battered im tired managing coping happiness days real hard work fabricated time around enjoy version tolerate hate living skin hate taking breathes one effort days im sounding here please dont offer support sympathy need guess need say loud