want die im tired keep strugglingthe title says all life ive struggling make ends meet im poor family certain thirdworld country since little knew need break away poverty need make parents proud despite circumstances born into fast forward  years later im studying local university im nowwas rock supports friends helping way can caring them havehad loving girlfriend everyone believes persevere never many friends never used social apps then one month beforei argument girlfriend little know would come bite rear later sooner three days ago final exam semester combinations loneliness due absence life fatigue boxing stress papers yet come anger dissatisfaction seeing friends ones came depend things get rough playing games generally rowdy hit face overcame feelings retreated solitary first friends came check time passed reluctance say anything fear ridiculing thinking feelings started isolate turn even talking day went back respective hometowns first blamed abandoning smoke cleared out realized brought myself blame feels right reasons im still struggling commit redflag thoughts disappointing parents passion boxing sorry long postrant needed vent everything me tldr want live im slowly losing reasons to