suicidal im beta malei hate term represents toxic masculinity however best way phrase it i am a pussy form confrontation back down think evan superbad want able normal person  im guy party friends upstairs fucking girls im awkwardly stood kitchen watching people fun women repulsed me natural born alphas betas fact determined genetics knowing existence never get taste like alpha makes life seem meaningless kill myself friends go things im pussy do cant fucking nervous sweaty creepy pedo around girls cant even talk fucking crowd without sweating voice trembling face red tomato cant become alpha kill  life worth living pussy