feel alonehi really know start this feels like nobody else talk to afraid talk anybody fear attentionwhore friends family talk sliding gradually depression always ignore it depression mean every day slips another mesh together purpose life go work come home go work come home day day never good attribute praise nothing scrutiny criticism personality traits people avoid like nerdy reading science fiction novels interests monster amp horror movies people know friends just acquaintances associates people avoid hanging out never invited anywhere sit room accomplishing nothing feeding dark humor views world without achievements boast of feel like suddenly disappeared employer would question whereabouts would disappear annals missing another case detective take advantage of fear retribution seeking help job associates have never anyone care doing show affection afraid grow old alone like sort antisocial creep living fantasy world build around shield absence warm love attention seek help negative backlash shall surely bury deeper hole much want improve know to go gathering attend places go people meet someone share experiences stories with friendships seem exist lousy finding places meet people fear may go overboard make permantent solution temporary problem want that anywhere talk someone without record it fear tell anyone work negative consequences job