 really amplified issues marriage husband finally came clean let know would hiding addiction years constant loneliness depression finally made sense unable unwilling using started recovery started couples therapy again things remained stagnanton top issues intimate anymore told attracted gained weight brutal hear reconnected ex end  shared problems listened told beautiful body perfect him ate up affair bornyesterday husband confronted me would gone phone seen messages ex devastated packed left mess cannot function cannot eat cannot go long without sharp pain heart relationship filled toxicity want back anything feel lost abandoned face timed last night pain eyes killed me realized grasping onto idea relationship never was scared starting over hope reaches asks try work out part feels even did please help codependent separation tearing apart world crumbling barely holding on heart hurting much know do codependent clinging onto marriage feel alone