aging ruined mei completely unblossomed im  average child became stunning yr  thought everyone naturally nice naive really feel loss identity anybody knew tell shocked badly look now im typical hot girl thats going grow ugly s everyone looks better im really lost know living others opinions thats ive unconsciously idk nothing else worth besides looks gone overheard mum saying older sister prettier aging better im going kill myself ive talked school counsellor absolutely refuse go talk stranger problems again everyone look eye stare blotchy acne covered skin people thought cared using me cant even trust family im going kill probably kitchen knife ive learnt sharpen it found pulse neck probably artery flowing blood might stab backyard sound make less likely heard ill exercise cold weather bit effective going bathroom want stench there ive never felt form love never received truly family treated like trophy feeds look bad hate everyone much including myself online long text messages idc met anyone real life id revolted