im strugglinghi im spain im  know many kinda feel think time almost over ive always sad dark person even little extemely sensitive emotional im good hiding feelings emotions  lost mother cancer person entire life understood loved me still today devastated move moms family started drinking smoking heavily couple years later got relationship current girlfriend everything seemed nice could believe it could see mother sounds kinda wierd know way talked way took care loved me on girlfriend mental problem borderline personality disorder embraced beginning helped much could one had moved back town lives quit studying help her point didnt even money eat still stood side took dinner to cinema try make happy turns out cheated me last summer older guy  ambulance driver used go teraphy with could believe it left him knew guy money new car devastated day am cope pain insecurity nothing harmed feel something hurt end all attempted redflag  times before btw still relationship her feel free ask anything thank edit story way way deeper written