want much you please take care bipolar  strike like snake warning easily triggered beastly yelling rage maniahappiness somewhere cant sleep forced use everything known mankind force sleep talent ever yet think desire much failure everywhere anytime try fix go doctor step forward always  steps pushed back denied disability court jan  health insurance year working still nothing even got go doctor chances getting drug would work could still work would erase fact live since alienated everyone cant stay am enough money go anywhere options backed corner today day planning done alienating complete bankruptcy discharged close enough medical insurance still new improved snail mail zero concerns thats fall tried everything failed doesnt matter took responsibility  gave tried failed  told doctors therapists years racing mind could sleep doesnt help blame blame doesnt matter anymore hurt much numb cant think write want explain many times mind comes never sounds right  years suffering would keep happening many people system doesnt work read many times young people know grandmothers died age said didnt get treatment have lot worked work well forced work drugged side effects family empathy ive said goodbye bed shower many last special meals nothing seems special anymore thats it ballot mail box hope dems wins last thoughts  sat one came stop me expecting anything different except real ending finally thank memes lot good people there love other forgive can try seek revenge mental illness terrible get help soon can know someone suffering need help isolating let them die