seriously need helpim sorry bad english point going kill myself know when ive trained karate seven years helped trough hard times recently started dating girl trained seven years family members train well girl got along pretty well im popular guy town first girl showed interest me first time life feeling better everything great dating  months shit started fuck up told crush best friend do started blame it first girl ever showed interest me forgave said problem things always awkward best friend knew felt talk would advise break her want happy  year anniversary breaks nowhere felt horrible absolutely traumatised best friend told crush guy couple weeks her get dumped soon better alternative comes along fast forward  year still girls sends message thought maybe changed hooked again dated one month really thought could great relationship cheated me know care get really pissed tells family im huge asshole dickhead quit training karate one things liked life family hates me thats all dad raging alcoholic mum works day school sisters really care me thing drives life little brother love heart reason killed yet last hope guys ive taking depression medicine couple months tried talk psychologist told going phase end that cant talk family giving up