im tiredi risk sounding spoiled live nice house nice things family sometimes loves me want end it im constantly telling things get better idea will past year wrote  fake toaster bath notes diary one day day mother decided snoop room found read whole thing next month constantly looking reassurance didnt hate notes said did do doesnt know that took three therapists insisted stayed room spoke tried tell couldnt speak way tears kept comming im glad didnt im bisexual wanted proper coming since written diary knows too past three months ive felt lonely extremely anxious depressed dont want bother friends best friend fear would turn away diabetes another thing im constantly self conscious feel makes people think less person sensors needles constantly body ugly hate much want tear never look again ive thought insuline oding never courage it ex got perfect girlfriend makes feel unworthy still feelings aswell feel fat even thought bmi normal range ugly dont wear makeup sensitive skin try tell parents im tired even though true refuse believe always try force talk problems dont get mad disrespectful need help last option