im losing hopehello joined subreddit need talk it cant talk friend dont want stressed whatever id rather talk and wont talk parents im crybaby recently death seems appealing everything problems  im  ptsd everyday mind torturing things like youre faking it youre worthless nobody would care died  im going university tomorrow cant stop thinking everything ever experienced past happen university  blamed friends point parents might think im unstable  see state world honestly think unfair shitty world left behind even though sometime find beautiful things laying there  ptsd avoid many things point ridiculous  cant stop thinking none us free point think time rest die  huge abandonment issues point someone doesnt act way millisecond stress think leave dont know im expecting putting here writing things way coping everything