 yr old considering drastic measureshello sorry name offends anyone btw made playing video game really know start guess ill give background info im  year old male good body straight as plenty friends void occupying attention little  months every day thing endless cycle monotony ive built character thats always happy every day act person others happy im myself cant individual feel trapped even parents love character made lets call john mom spending time phone interacting us know probably done good job describing ill condense one point im tired living happy go lucky lie tired appreciated im contemplating ending it made plans even gone far open case dads rifle reason offed fear