want stopim tired everyone asks whats wrong dont know dont like all hate it hate confused dont know am im married shes amazing idea shes me try push away excuse least feel bad id never often hope happens me im tired therapist knows real truth feel wrong myself everyone would likely accept me me wish male wish id born way could snap fingers like thanos way im different transitioned whatever wife would still wife shed okay male cant risk telling losing her im trapped hate myself see therapist week enough inpatient fix this nothing fix this hate myself idea place works figured could say truth bc joined really wish could kill self keep hoping itll happen find caring say someone cant it wife depends much dont want hurt her im miserable feel alone