im starting feel suicidal year really need therapythis pandemic school semester really pushed unstable mental state im constantly scared im close falling apart collapsing entirely im architecture major constant studio presentation deadlines working  hours every day really minimal time take breaks take care properly extends weekends holidays become hard stop breaking become even harder find time spend family friends boyfriend going lot issues pandemic school well slowly feel become unable support properly since im struggling much myself breaking heart see personal love life and family life too strain tension struggles used pretty suicidal high school im feeling thoughts creep back hard year goes on im scared cant anything immediately help either boyfriend myself im terrified somethings going snap im going lose myself want happy badly becoming grim day dont know many  hour work days handle body shuts down desperately need therapy need professional guidance cope stress properly support boyfriend way hurt emotional state ive always scared therapy parents raised strict mentality thinking taboo immigrant parenting like that really want consistent getting professional help recover properly i tried times always stopped going month always thought wasnt stressed enough later on final architecture studio presentation next thursday im going call university counseling center ask help need to post reminder really need this body cant handle anymore stress without proper professional help if read far wanted apologize embarrassing af name joke username chose made account long back lol thanks taking time listen stranger vent emotional turmoil