one step thisi currently sitting forest away town live rope inside bag ive found quiet place birds singing peaceful here ive written redflag notes family friends one thing bothers me text mother tell feel depression suicidal thoughts hard do im afraid reaction maybe go ultra mad break even more hand left lose ive told people depression didnt cared enough ill make right promise mom discuss home guarantees care maybe think im whiny idiot life hard yada yada thing is im sure want die dont continue meaningless existence complicated conflict happening right head sorry grammar