someone talk toim musician sort of halfway finished degree jazz studies kitchen work gig living last year gotten many gigs im extremely lonely im good socializing im ugly im pretty weird easy talk to hard look people eye get really anxious anybody talk to person really gets ex girlfriend cant expect me im codependent mother abusive hit lot screamed everyday moved out im afraid feel neurotic week broke screamed direct supervisor work feel extremely condescending toxic blames coworkers mistakes me hes passive aggressive confront anyone directly reason im scapegoat called showing  minutes late everyday yet complaining morning prep getting done training new employees expecting it generally applying standards sets himself feel close breaking know people jump death always change mind right jump logically see that im nearly thirty entire life awful something huge blocking emotionally know fix it feel like crying im tired time really need help know ask ask sorry wall