i ve been dealing with depression for pretty much a long a i can remember wa diagnosed with it a a child some day are better than others the same can be said about the month and even year to be honest i never thought i would make it to the age i am now and have never really given any thought to what i wanted out of life besides the basic thing like friend loved one and many even a romantic partner outside of that i am lost i don t have a dream job in mind really and i don t have any set goal i m getting older and it feel like the wall are closing in on what time i have left and i don t know what to do i have friend and family who love me but they have their life pretty much together at this point or are close to their goal i have a job i hate no career option i can t drive and don t have any education outside of high school i feel like i just exist i have to rely on people for ride which make me feel like a burden i don t have enough money to make it on my own so i live with my parent i feel like friend keep me around out of pitty because i tend to be the one to start every conversation i m a part of people s life but have nothing of my own i don t know what to do anymore i know i m not at my worst yet because some thing still bring me some joy but none of that fix the problem i have no motivation i try to reach out for help but i don t exactly get any i pretty much get pushed to the back burner a lot and i get it people have their own thing to deal with but i need help i can t do this alone because doing it on my own isn t working i just want to leave this place i m in the job the town the everything probably and find what i want whatever that is i don t even know if i m looking for advice or just to have someone tell me i m not crazy