im end rope want pain endhere finally am miserable sad overwhelmed full grief put things perspective within last six months mom got stage  cancer blew money gambling addiction wound getting aggravated dui having leave long term relationship  years due shitty people even shittier environment car gets vandalized one gfs fam straight fucks gift car know im upset im sick pain literally keep thinking redflag want experience shit anymore im done shitty people shitty relationships awfulness dealt with im honestly trying work courage pull trigger want shit end cant stand anymore