kill myselfim getting close snapping anyone life im distant entire family feels like everyone would prefer dead family hates everyone else loneliness utterly painful nobody talk anything online anonymously post much reddit makes feel pathetic ive lived many years life full im starting come high horse im coming hard nothing interests seems like things cause thats gotta do really want work rest life thought sucks much im afraid everyone social anxiety debilitating hate room feels like everyone glaring judging me think everything general anxiety gets intense fight away distractions keeps working anything else im maladaptive daydreamer ive spent years laying bed dreaming exaggeration done many things ive daydreamed instead pathetic could never build another connection human being never feel close another human being theyre distant bring everyone down like im outside world looking in im fucking lonely guys so lonely horrible school starting eighth grade sat room never work never even got job volunteer service hung friends its good  years now friends nobody earth goddammit alone submitted mediocre college apps im loser pos ill probably end working dead end job hate like everyone else whole family fuck hate thought much want work horrible miserable job rest life want go community college want fucking city want run away start completely over want completely totally different human being want anymore addicted video games many years lost many experiences guns house think might kill weekend cant find guns im going go buy strongest sleeping pills sturdiest rope ill way im done im fucking poison earth im fucking done im gonna stop now cant read screen tears im starting shake problems infantile stupid im whiny needy entitled bitch even bother posting stuff never helps nobody cares nobody ever cares yeah im leaving soon im home alone tomorrow next day goodbye everyone sorry ill write note tonight