hmmive around short time ever cared learn one day could something improve lives around me never sought luxury though comparatively may live way brief period wanted sate curiosity friends possibly family try burden let depression take hold me however toil struggle enough maintain existence never time branch out make something better much life must sacrificed order obtain freedom measure ones worth continually conflicted part wants perish yet another strive chaotic nature sufferable far journey met many people boy boasts knowledge yet suffers braggadocios ways  woman abused husband child live grandmother abusive parents lives wasted ignorance strive make world better place view world however happens unable view paths better yourself find sad find break chains despite skills appear meaningless even use help myself everything world must proven documented testament worth appears days document takes indentured servitude document takes freedom pursuit happiness pursuit leads serfdom back wrong do work full time go college done lot power self sufficient pay bills taxes rent insurance wrong myself believe sacrificed friendship pursuit love begun consume drive away family desire become better cost significant amount time wasted nearly youth seek options none tenable current state began believe one dream must take other happy uncertain takes lot live own done  years taken toll mental state mind dance edge now waiting slip it wait wait time break contract binds me though view redflag selfish act still considering  years going depression depression force drag let guard down strike time say pretty funny however creates world way lays ground work know me makes us venerable answer uncertain possibly world still undeveloped unavoidable mindset think work slaved reality meaningless purpose meaningless job exhausted myself drive either live kill myself pitiful really