little brother always world grew privileged two loving parents everything him grew parents mom longer get along used close dad emotional verbally physically abusive towards throughout teen years brother told talk people tarnished parents name took care me fed me clothes me took vacation recognize father feels guilty treated me never apologized made effort life see need protect someone never really protected me feel like considered overemotional feelings pain experience valid yes father person change nightmares him redflag today first night felt worthless want fight longer loving husband corner it love deeply cannot others love mei it really want end this lost many people loved anyone lucky husband would even second thought tired sad lonely hate myself person besides husband also thinks poorly me hold opinion almost regard husband hurt cannot anymore why why why