thought checking hospital would help nothing put horrid medication gave horrifying reaction stop taking week going go school semester unfortunately able afford payment classes tomorrow clean money job skill future slave wishing could die everyday angry demotivated piece snot oozing way walls room towards rock bottom wish could find way make money music unfortunately nigh impossible practically anyone another dream fucked disgusting planet live on going research finally get actual help ending pointless miserable existence point seems help stand gain anymore life everything try meaningless everything put effort fails every passion fades away every love share torn apart sick rollercoaster sick losing time this gone finding easiest reliable painless way can out fuck shit