im sad dont want liveive thought far long hate life people value life death yeah get chance something millions unlucky unfortunate think death beautiful thing taken granted undermined love family friends great wonderful people hope best them makes happy seeing happy deep know truly want nothing world could give bc know real everyone else me reason killed dont want people care sad death want happy im dead wanted this life miserable dont understand people keep going im throwing life away things im absolutely hate im college welding dad pushed would great start life understand get start good life dont want this dont want anything want wake hear brother every single minute say smart ass shit every little thing do want future gf get cancer live play games die honestly want death dont want sympathy dont want anyone saying you always loved  going ok want least someone understand im looking death want die obsessed death whats side cant believe religion anything spiritual god related end day believe going heaven good place wish know dead is