know anymoreso ive thinking long time redflag mean started high school ive heard often does always shook never felt depressed long lately everyday find thinking new scenarios new ways without even realizing it always chicken getting help way ive always embarrassed im sure sounds silly true thats im here big deal seeing professional worrying people care something know compares usually comes run around think almost every day sometimes times others times periods feel down feel angry depressed hopeless seemingly reason gone far preparing worst times doctors given  different medications none actually made feel better im looking advise idea do