want goneim  graduated high school  done nothing life all dropped two colleges right high school home since absolutely nothing jobs currently none hate myself hate appearance life going nowhere lost weight year ago gained self confidence first time years gained back some idk  calorie day diet  months hair thinned like crazy even now year since eating back normal hair never recovered hairline absolute shit looks like diffuse thinning top head little back head major cause depression wanting die know sounds stupid hair many worse things world balding know people would wish biggest problem losing hair know logically stupid doesnt change feel perfect hair straightest hair line even beginning  hair great idk strict diet coincidence looks horrible hate even typing sounds idiotic spoiled kills every time look mirror see photo myself even bought wig looked like shit  drain im young hair transplant started taking propecia dont see results aside head hair body hair im ridiculously hairy hate it back shoulders neck arms chest covered hair of course everywhere head lol self conscious it even lose weight ill never feel confident enough take shirt public beach pool wish badly could like guys age take shirt jump pool dont go pool beach do im wearing shirt makes look like fat potato ive gotten dozer laser hair removal treatments arent shit idk laser doesnt work electrolysis option crazy expensive take legit years dont see guys age back hair grown ass men hate it thinking going back school found college think might like thinking start fall  ill  freshman ill feel old everyone else graduating college  ill starting feel like late even go back try age ill  or even older time graduate dont even know fuck wanna study im passionate anything dont care anything im good anything dont want anything want sleep day leave house close taking handful pills going sleep bathtub one believes ill actually commit redflag really thinking it im unhappy life self want ended im sorry sound stupid spoiled inconsiderate theres people cant afford food people homeless people cancer people paralyzed wheel chairs stupid fucking ass complaining going bald body hair wtf i wanna punch dick people would love healthy feel selfish wanting die others want live lose weight again try getting electrolysis hair screwed everyone said shave it bald dont want to itll make look older dont want that funny wanted actor yeah yeah know got accepted acting school new york dont even want go anymore cant actor bald hairy fat even lost weight  year old gonna even make receding hairline gorilla back even considered trying transition girl read taking hormones stop body hair help head hair grow thats fucking insane am seriously considering changing gender hair gay dont wanna girl dont want boobs vagina want guy want look different im much pussy cut wrists dont like pain want end this wish could give life someone deserves wants live idek donate organs knows long body sitting time dad goes upstairs see am im sorry dont think anyone gonna read fucking sob story essay wanted get out