viewso got married  expected woman rest life  yrs decided finally lose weight started  lbs ugly husband  abuse infidelity boredom lost everything  house family job  years got life pulled back together point im late s meet another woman get married buy house etc little backstory  pretty much life ive health problems first heart attack  weighed  non smoker social drinker family history active sports etc way deserved it think depression started then know afraid every day past  years record three heart attacks several cardiac incidents stroke take pills diabetes depression heart issues may lung issues involved left job october  step ahead fired missing much time im good place physically emotionally so thanksgiving weekend left house angry depressed unhappy etc ended buying pistol sunday loving understanding wife police take hospital filed temporary restraining order became permanent  police house christmas eve family party court restraining order lawyer mentioned filed divorce im  job finances wreck bad health marriage over social life leaching daughters family cant see way pretend theres reason going on