im tired livingfianc broke several months ago depressed depressed never wanted see never actually felt like loved me visited every week hardly wanted anything me ive getting worse since reason anything last days ive especially feeling awful whole thing ive come close breaking im working frequently broken breaks messaged today blue buddy buddy opened wounds already hurting refused talk things tried tell lot pain roommates upset started smoking breakup stopped tidying up see purpose anything anymore want die thing keeping alive mom would die died got medical issues passes away time soon reason left stick around want someone love actually feel loved back time think im ever going find another person though especially even someone like love back