fucked exams upi messed bad fucked up gpa fucked fucked cant fucking even stupidity promised mess again again am sitting bathroom im hurting myself itll hurt take exams make dumb mistakes anymore enough fine fail accept failure move on better okay cant know hurts way stop thinking failure much want dig brain stop thinking keep laughing making jokes feel sadness anger disappointment itching need hurt myself painful im focusing pain suddenly thats think about nothing else feels liberating almost want die time want die mother grieve things live for im still child things want see go know long keep going feelings throw building