supposed nowmessed life big time similar situation guy posted  years ago messed whole semester school might get expelled lifetime basing selfworth grades want die kill myself relief death am alive supposed now everywhere say oh die die okay im dead now sit wait therapy date months away no cant go earlier life continues crashing around me not life stop crashing time freeze long enough rewire brain become normal fix everything fast enough know ive gone month without wanting die since fourth grade wish would stop wish brain ok tired