i m terrible at articulating my thought so apology in advance let me just say up front that no plan ha been made and despite thinking about it so much i don t think i could go through with it this is just a vent piece i guess i feel like such a burden all the time i genuinely only have one real friend left and feel like my roommate co worker hate me i m anti social and awkward i don t make eye contact and i don t talk at all ever i take way too long to text back if i did km i honestly don t think anyone would know until a body wa found or over a month had passed i m just so sick of feeling like an obstacle all the time like i m always in the way or always wrong to think feel a certain way but all of this seems pretty normal i realise it s not a healthy mindset but literally everyone on earth ha trauma everyone ha their own shit they re going through and not only doe it seem like they re handling it a lot better than me but they have real problem i have friend who lost their job over the pandemic i have friend going through break ups grief or whatever and they still manage to practice their hobby and interact with their fellow man but then there s me doing literally fucking nothing all day every day after work and having the ball to feel like shit over it a if it s out of my control i feel weak willed lazy and most of all i feel like the world s biggist egomaniac for writing so much about myself a if it needed to be said thank you for reading my aimless rambling the thought were very intrusive tonight so i just needed to self depricate i guess good night everyone