everyone exists chaos level basically sum up amount chaos prone life whole universe something decides born learn live it neurotypicals rich people pretty people etc struggles yes absolutely struggles completely separate type chaos talking about talking type chaos exemplified people like me bad childhood mental illness bad genes etc etc etc ultimately learned cope much possibly can think people like me coping never enough never full month life severely suicidal least week it never true stability like people many areas life shambles cannot possibly change fundamental issues comes actually able happy daily basis people say change completely ignoring word fundamental bullshit people get lucky people try convince us could like kept itwell let tell something people optimistic person know even finish writing this probably smoke bowl watch netflix pass out rest assured suffering begins anew tomorrow always always shred optimism core preventing leaving shitty world yet enough stop constant mood swings listless problems seem face daily basis could look it another way long meds stop working again another psychiatrist leaves cannot this will cannot maybe find hopeful personally another slap face terribly aware unfair life yet able escapei hope browsing subreddit find actually one people manageable amount natural chaos eternal curse constantly managing convince am think finally figured