fck lifeso lifes rough finally told psychiatrist bad things gotten cutting myself planning kill myself two weeks ago totally opened up promised kill always wanted accident put family but now tonight im done great trip planned weekend best friend gonna go visit college two hours live spend night there planned week half ive looking forward got cancelled point honestly think ill go own stay friday saturday really solid last weekend kill saturday night gonna go friday afternoon ride mountain bikes talk team see could cycle collegiality meet friends campus spend night hotel best friend take tour college saturday morning meet club team someones birthday afternoon bunch fun thats gone idk gone ive trying long im tired ive tried half heartily twice think saturday day