poured everything relationship im worse start withabout  months ago met someone reddit best period life week met happened around time things started going downhill faster difficult first opened level id never come close anyone before admitted feelings couple months later fought relationship helped worst times life now disclosed much could bring past things people done effects had first same others backs things started go downhill suppose long distance relationships rarely go well whilst hurt able take care person willing keep going joy brought life apparently werent yesterday i bad moment admitted frustrated situation their parental situation meant harder us see other instant relationship over supposedly protect me deserved better something else longer see ive deleted conversation history trusted them poured heart soul sanity making us work spent much time talking hours felt empty since never hope future met them severe fear death kept going far every day mental image falling nearest bridge replays mind constantly everything reminds them almost everything together even hug song introduced namely  music activity eachother about  things used enjoy gets crying again im sad feel hollow useless main thing motivating improve myself medical condition fixing us physical fitness i always quite underweight us lack effort uni trying fix work towards future us theyd taken away worst insecurities things good back worse im constantly questioning wrong whether ever really loved back whether broke found unattractive reason person supposed live without ambition hope concept future anything look forward to pressures outside world increasing various deadlines major decisions need make close me want stop cant see future world one thing consistently made happy gone enjoy present either past rules life past shit promised wed try stay friends afterwards too went window instantly blocked main apps used communication cant lean friends theyre going shit im alone alone without keep going