apology if this is confusing i m having an anxiety attack while writing this like most people at the start of the pandemic i got sent to wfh which eventually turned into permanent wfh i loved it my job doesn t involve speaking with people unless it s on my own time and i m only in charge of a handful of people and only deal with the people who need the most help i got to sink into my own little bubble and it s coming back to bite me i ve realized my social anxiety ha gotten so much worse than it ever ha i have so much fear just speaking to other people that i feel insane acting like this recently a promotion became available and i don t want to apply i made the dumb mistake of telling my partner about the opening and he s pressuring me to do it i feel physically sick at the idea of doing this some of it is because i m going to be judged but a lot of it is because i will have to do more in the sense of talking to people i can t get away with meeting a month with people i already know it will be constant employee contact and even meeting with people i don t know i m stressed if the pandemic had never happened i could do it i use to be able to flick a switch and become a whole different person at work who only had minimal anxiety now because home is work i can t feel that separation i try to make my work in a different location within my house but it s not easy with my house set up i know i m going to have to do it whether i want to or not because we need the money and the benefit also i wouldn t be able to forgive myself if i didn t at least try but i m so scared i m worried if i do get it that i will be having constant anxiety attack until i m use to the job i just don t know if i can mentally handle that i m worried if i don t get it i will just be constantly overthinking and causing myself anxiety over not being good enough it s a lose lose situation for me and there isn t anything i can do i just want to run away and bury my head in the sand but i can t so i ll do it knowing the consequence and hope for the best