disappointedso im writing mobile hospital bed please forgive formatting length made attempt little week ago almost worked mother law walked bedroom which never does found unconscious tell me even  minutes later would late diagnosed type  bipolar  year ago clarified ptsd induced bipolar time started taking meds again january admitted psychologist psychiatrist suicidal instantly changed meds gave impression working wasnt little week ago waited kids asleep beds went bathroom took recently filled meds considering take  mood stabilizers plus meds migraines something else sleep lot stomach started feel heavy that felt great felt free knew matter time put letters written kids husband parents put sure theyd found laid waited remember falling asleep feeling like finally free fast forward  days im waking icu mother asleep chair next bed one sisters boyfriend asleep couch room life me cant understand im still alive work whole body hurts tubes coming arms im pissed worked got explanations realized mother law called ambulance thing feel hatred hate picked walk in leave alone let die know shouldnt cant help it want here perfect plan ruined it im stuck hospital life want in people cant understand much hurts breathe every day completely sucks