im addicted child pornever since age  s now watching child porn wish myself did cant find way out still cannot break habit matter hard try matter meditation mental exercise do compulsion cannot help ive dug dug still found pray need miracle break free never want hurt child im even attracted children and even think except trying figure break addiction videos unbelievably addictive cant even imagine anything else level hold me problem terrible compared even worst cases rnofap need daily children children cant believe it cant believe real even break finally then past ever live fully cant seem anything cry hate myself matter hard try want risk hurting child need miracle  anybody ability give advice way please so use improve grow love thats want