 electroconvulsive therapy procedures shock therapy  transcranial magnetic stimulation sessions laterwish someone would story me absolutely hideous ugly atrocious redflag impulse decision mind made contemplating redflag years now tried overdosing redflag cop involuntarily admitted psych ward  times longer able purchase firearm conformed barbaric nobly guaranteed method redflag longer friends lost best friend mental exhaustion girl crush friend zoned engaged im afterthought burden liability pathetic worthless virgin piece shit loser good anything purpose ive got reasons stay everyday day day ive building courage finally commit redflag via setting fire hanging myself perhaps ill livestream it hope closed casket one ever see ugly face again dont plan turning  year