exhausted helplessim living dads old house empty earthquake damaged zone shouldnt moved mother kicked toxic verbally abused told kill worthless million times week ago tried kill ex boyfriend lives overseas managed call interpol told parents was knows live dismissed hospital took parents place kicked basically told couldnt stay im trouble day abused verbally happy leave since came three times one say much disgusting useless human whole family ashamed second one evictions order leave house two weeks risk zone third now literally destroy words said worse things die useless able anything life ex right leave behind im worth peoples time make everyone around sick suffocate people make leave feel like im bad person listening mum say know depression suicidal thoughts awful toxic around me me one thing attached me cant control cured living environment lonely medications arent working never work alone without support im sobbing tears hands shaking im joke failure wish one good reason kill myself want happy loved late everyone loves leaving slowly killing anyway better kill self first im tired suffering