live alone talk anyone regularly enough notice went mia literally way would work unless attempt unsuccessful wake up tired weighing options bad far outweighs good nothing ever feels right never happy tired always either tired depressed angry numb alternating emotions believe ever content tired lashing people taking anger unhappiness them tired toxic person toxic deeply depressed even think excuse become shitty person hate myself truly think  years misery enough torture going for know waiting me depression never goes anger gets unbearable afraid of it everyone dies world nothing certain except death taxes think saying goes going die eventually really matter when for allowing stay pain like this what every day trying get day nothing pleasurable life me need get fear death sake nobody would even find