dying terrifies me cant see way outhey guys hoped id never post here im desperate right now ive episodes depression years now last four months wrecked me im medschool started internship last year completed feb took break home month folks lot stuff going needed there college absolute piece shit responsible nearly issues ive struggled weight gotten good place college joined everything went hell people around bodyshame like crazy especially family ive able tolerate past even laugh it got back room home month want go again want see ingrates work shitty hospital ive lying everyone last four months love anything anymore friends little brother talk to doesnt help anymore know itll wreck cant take anymore even finish internship familys still going bunch asshats ill still alone shitty little town want know im going go on wish could go therapy cant afford it cant see way ending it