i have plenty of people who pity me i often feel like a project to them instead of a person calling me to see if i m okay and then hang up 0 second later when i say i m fine check in on text once in a while it seems more like a task than concern and for the people who don t pity me it seems to me that they re more just people i know than a person to call a friend if i m being honest i m not the type of person to actively seek friend but fuck man i just want a person to talk shit with once in a while but i ve come to realize my mind is too fucked to poison other people so best to leave them be of my presence it s honestly got to the point where my mind is going numb we all know what happens then