ive wanted kill myselfdie since  im  feeling changeive wanted kill myselfdie since  thats realised mum cheating dad went abroad work time even wrote redflag letter tell dad mum wanted overdose painkiller pills ive never done obviously years past dad knows affair parents still stayed together worked feeling still remains want die family went abroad dad started studying foreign language failed courses twice now know different language hard time know put work slacked college university drink much play games much escape reality procrastinate trust therapists even though should know do know want die could never commit redflag cause love family know theyd devastated want die means car accident cancer anything know do currently live england