im gonna try liverecently ive lot thinking ive talked friends mulled things head want live ive made two posts here one spoke going commit redflag night changed mind im gonna try myself sure seek help im gonna try myself depression suicidal thoughts come many things mainly self image hate personality thought process emotions every aspect mind body self harmed specifically mental physical punishment force acting normal changing personality bad sounds something ive grown do so decided buy pull bar way self harm productive way guess muscle pain know sounds weird itll help used go gym reasons really seek help im gonna see get this hope sincerely last thing ever post here