every success ever life come extremely lucky high school applied one college early got in senior year college depressed incapacitated managed send one grad school application somehow got accepted grad school ending still depressed actually work applying jobs  replied email got sent mailing list on miraculously got hired last year got laid covid could even work motivation send resume anywhere old boss called offered position back somebody else quit spot opened upi never done work deserve things feel like cannot actually function independent adult  wait things magically fall lap keep going another year every time way rock bottom manage make back surface water keep desperately gasping air little longer honestly wish could finally drown get with everything pure luck deserve it