dont knowi mess everything up one cares me ive deeply depressed past days like scale probably  depressed ive ever been tried talking boyfriend im states currently im vacation sucks replying says doesnt know say know hes therapist still want someone tell everything going okay need someone tell that dont know anymore cry every night night since cant day im presence family havent eaten days dont feel need to im alone friends turn to one ive become shell human ive come terms pain dying annoy people nobody suffer presence me watched family today hotel room fun beach swam drank ate lunch constantly smiling laughing seemed happy without involved dont need lives one does got brothers two children wanted theres me im nothing wouldnt missed