really need talk someone pleasei go back fathers house brother was first time lives actually brother said father never really liked seeing him depressed never really felt love took like bomb took bad asked us leave crying cant describe terribly bad feel right now think one terrible emotion human feel unbelievable hiding everyone fact homosexual desires ive hiding long time life ive exclusively hetero things changed im quite sure am fear myself desires extremely hard so could talk someone think reddit great community even though millions people place feels good someone could listen well read me id really grateful sorry english intention killing myself know post this