tw selfharm mention suicide throwaway account friends family know main account would rather see this also warning english first language drunk right now trying correct typos much possiblei battling depression redflag  years alone almost time parents pretended car forced go therapy instead lettint make choices things pace year ago met best friend call troy love much like brother feel like broken friends feel like ruin mood crying venting cannot help think would better without me never born wish dead failure know anymore much coward wish could kill myselfim good beating cannot help me broken fiens alone forever ruin everythingim sorry know goal post guess hoping someone there feel alone indint know know anymore