i used to be a swimmer back in elementary 0yrs old it s so quiet underwater and everything feel so light after a year in sport my mom started pressuring me she would compare me a lot to my other teammate and eventually it made me lose my passion for it i tried drowning myself a lot of time and one of my teammate would eventually pull me up i left swimming and suffered half of my junior high life being blamed financially by my mother up to this day i m still afraid of receiving thing because what if they ll blame for losing money for it so instead i would try to get high grade so it ll feel like i deserve it and now i m being pressured a lot again by my family i ll be in college next year and they re expecting me to get into one of those state university i just want to be dissappear at this point