keeps asking impossible mesmile says wish could lie easily smiling would false reassurance smiling means okay right now smiling seems cry help muster hope notices even then conversation go little notes im leaving everywhere posting rredflagwatch im work smiling like want badly tell someone figure themselves half rational today yesterday felt half rational day before feel like im slipping looked list good places go missing lucky many places near people disappearing decades could go there could make disappear walking far forest great getting head anyways maybe wait ready starve death woods whatever feel like smiling