venting life cant handle life anymore ive alot happier parents made life hell every day yelled cussed dad unparalleled amount reasons hell call fucking idiot things similar alot hurts force keep straight face fear yelled more admittedly get alot probably enough chores should cant see justified maybe wrong here makes relapse suicidal thoughts makes lose motivation anything including playing online talking friends hate life sometimes them motivation work screamed work caught up debating telling mom everything here know younger brother thing holding parents marriage together even said got chance shed leave behind buy home beach mom alright yell call things sometimes definitely understanding two either sit feeling like nothing get old enough leave home add onto everything dad said ever get jailed ever caught trying commit redflag hed kill me