feeling dull often life pretty darn good cant seem feel appreciate ittook leave medical school earlier year best friend med school taken life recently funnily enough seem affect much think have life feels dull get excited much all feel lonely like girls cant seem motivation really pursue relationships  even friends apathy seems recurring theme days life mean life awesome objectively family supportive brother started practicing surgeon super rich live comfortably beginning think temperament naturally despondent remember kid use like well feel like im ditch im trouble getting it days feels like energy climb it like ditch slope never ends fight climb days energy anymore inevitably slide back down know redflag common thought necessarily transpire action holds particularly true think often convince bad coping strategy anyone felt like successfully changed thinkingbaseline feeling want feel like this want feel  know excitement passion emotions im analytical pessimistic sigh