dohi im  name anas depressive since long remember even though thought death long time never thought would consider ending life often find wishing dead looking razor blades case wish fatal disease every occasion make wish fight jump front car every time walk streets imagine head exploding everytime something stupid etc etc thinking getting help year never actually it need right would pause family friends well everyday life getting worse worse many questions one ask go schools counsellor tell parents condition go school counsellor directly er parents know anyway they special program school might lose place miss much school getting harder work grades droping