hanging threadhi im really sure right place ask go long post ahead advanced sorry shitty formatting im currently girl we havent together long happiest time life far im dead set making work beginning thought fails ill never go relationship turned something worse id literally choose everything every outcome aim literally relationship time togetheror id like think  bit depressed bit suicidal got together bit actual acts involved though thinking hard go therapist felt going sad inevitable path realized became fully dependent her times came close breakup thoughts zeroing redflag like never another option that nice sometimes shed like mess not serious sometimes anxiety trust issues id take seriously still stop for instance asked whos guy shed answer manner thatd make anyone think theres something lines sometimes leads endless cycle fight would end apologizing like im begging life probably am hint cheatingalthough unlikely would also give attacks those thoughts it enough keep wide awake gets resolved somehow havent fought time now im desperately fighting keep way fortunately hasnt anything weird hsppening lately inevitable want make sure ill make next time fortunately current state probably wont last  weeks without talking her id dead end nd week im wish joking enough anger sadness push high place im really bad place almost seriously once stood top footbridge almost two half hours thing kept feet ground fact broken yet close so everything life depends relationship right now lot hobbies nothing makes anything work were fighting even things love turns nothing were fighting im paralyzed basically want less dependent sake us someone commit redflag kind traumaticat least me ever breaks me want last bit longer two weeks may get convinced reason something dont know im mess dont even reason writing right now think should live without something never point cringiest thing ive ever written way asking help