someone influence wanting kill myself try address themtheres someone know well last time spoke said things really hurt affected me situation complicated lay right now made bad ugly judgementsassessmentsassumptions went everything working try best person others treated like less dirt theres whole story first time actually tried kill myself think it  months since ive thinking wanting kill ones fault ultimately ones fault except person me direct outside influence makes want kill myself theyre person influenced wanting kill myself little ive thinking try address problem person not necessary tell what heavily influences wanting kill myself tell wrong affecting me person hates me im doubts it really feel like one things make want kill less try