months struggling finally got courage tell someone suicidal thoughts dismissedive struggling several months suicidal thoughtsideations ive constantly reluctant share increasingly difficult internal conflict anyone months now lot reluctance stems terrible mental health care system city well stigma surrounds main mental illness a stigma held people general also psych professionals forced inpatient several times later years high school anything experience made mental health worse adult psych wards city much worse ive literally dozens referrals fall able get treatment need well year now keep telling everyone ill tough out make through etc reality im falling apart inside out so finally went clinic university campus told truth experiencing mentally physically even made sure mention id reluctant forthcoming given past negative experiences ive local mental health system lot waiting explaining situation professional professional finally told go home because summation apparently reason provide degree professional care unless ive literally planned redflag step step beyond frustrating continuously dismissed im made feel like burden waste time resources cry baby anything feel like experience today made things worse feel even worthless even think possible point guess post way vent know