bit bit im subconsciously distancing people care mei  brothers step dad dad mom sister  year old grandma like  people world care existence ive getting heated parents month ago stopped talking mom month fight today argument dad manifestation dont want happen abandoned everyone becoming reality since ive talking redflag im open family either stopped caring dont entertain anymore probably dont know tried failed like rest shit life im thinking part wants die responsible conspiracy theories family hating leads deep thoughts ill end it ive thought hard like cutting thats ill end it friends family knows im piece shit dont know anything normal everything feels controlled like im robot given commands dont end like me really care people give shit youre alive dont take granted learn say whats mind hurt others control anger seek professional help instead getting strangers internet say care dont im  june th sometime around  years life die redflag part eagerly awaits whats beyond life another part scared im done though really