feeling really alone wrote thisits always like this everyone seems think works like grief hit waves waves pull back slowly completely get better waves stopped ill  next march hear happiness said  genetic family tree pretty upsetting one unfortunately true nothing mean friends those mean family found family one given dysfunctional makes life harder made life hell living has see world around me eyes woken peaceful nightmare see real painful world cant keep this cant keep giving heart people trying friend receiving agonizing pain especially always ask anything back started realized self respect something supposed pretend have days far behind me beginning life either im weary starts im sad im kind wallow seek help usually takes long whatever reason get worse start build way back stability myself im bad it usually get help along way usually therapist take look got bad work love therapy always have get better better sort of hits always different always hard times easier most always springs back me theres cure even want it i want risk would rather peace feel alone afraid like first times hit hard thing ive called help ive asked around ive done bit im therapy weight everything crushing much chronic depression doesnt always go away functions similarly grief lingers hangs air keeps you isnt simple never be