respected would done  years agoso running time money cant work hardly leave house cant talk people social anxiety bad depression makes want try fuck cant even watch movie tv show past  years everyone abandoned me spoken anyone  years mean literally every  months accidentally bump someone say sorry invested life savings fear going broke homeless felt choice gamble basically lost all tried working online luck enough money last  years waking going sleep worse time zero hope anything better endless suffering look forward too resources running seriously debating homeless dead zero peace happiness man years social assistance help me even offer  us month rent  give anything money gone exactly sure person barely leave house survive homeless plan take last bit money head south weather warmer tried best everything done position fear never ended well spent  years forcing situations want like engage society ended humiliation loser ending sooner knew headed way expect happen soon