feeling extremely extremely ready today sitting floor sobbing redflag flashback yesterday friends left me already terrifying abandonment trauma top it made spiral today called childhood best friend close  years now basically said told fault want move back city access better people better friendsthen reached second best friend known around  years even lived one point asked could come crisis think alone right now response girlfriend went tubing tired told brother suicidal weeks ago really needed support told hes busy working give  years buy house even bills right now still lives apartment foster care could easily request less hours since voluntarily picks upevery single friend interacted knows redflag majorly depressed three know suicidallmao everyone says kill reach talk someone do get blown offlike talk nobody actually cares people scoff act like must someone no literally nobody parents brother family friends give shit literally cats thing keeping everyone always tells reach someone suicidal reach people want deal you