want die know wont anythinglike many posts ive contemplating redflag ive felt way long time sometimes ups sometimes downs year especially down lost mom partner recently broke im glad graduating soon never wanted go college staying home wouldve hell too family awful since passing honestly would rather sleep outside go home dont like either side family right now moms half toxic talks other never really fond dads half family hadnt felt excited graduating days cause actually liked college hell lot better high school one really liked didnt friends actually friends now college gave place stay also put years debt never wanted go though dont even know want do fucking long