know anymore going therapy years feel like nothing working taken meds past couple days wish could happy without taking pills feel happy so going town two weeks tell love way love me young already fucked up brother fucking died last year due choking game even fucking suicidal perfectly healthy brother kill cannot fucking pathetic care anything anymore giving everything up staying bed day get guys kms get summer job school starts productive shit want fucking exist anymore tired crying numb want end happiness short lived wish could walk room immediately see possible ways could kms want normal like kid worry bring show telli feel bad younger self sorry grew monstrosity innocentam even real anymore cannot decide completely give try hardest