tired living im sure ill always aloneits almost two years im still hung ex even though cheated lied me anything live for friends understand supportive ive tried many medications nothing works doctor idea help ignores tell bad am lie say plan do materials hard get really dated since ex believe sex marriage im okay hookups anything like that ex pretended felt lied course think probably proposed get pants contact look up still think time therapy therapist says healing different everybody u heal different rates think ill find someone genuinely cares me want live life alone though want give morals boyfriend either im tired sad scared time im afraid leave house antianxiety pills work little cant work live farming area theres even places meet people except church bars obviously already know people church cant really chat mass hardly go anymore anyway im even sure believe god anymore pray understand kill myself even life death know reason live anymore