im happy satisfied life still want end it make weaki cant talk anyone want think cry help  that get chest content life  feel like best living behind me im turning  year never thought id make here turning  young know always believed destined die young often think killing myself i feel sorry myself kind way believe best days behind want die old want people remember earlys version distant memory used semisuccessful musician signed record label people line hours get shot tv hit big wanted growing sign particular label it music went successful career marketing love job people get say make good living things need life loved girl years things ended years ive dated lot girls since everything really shallow unfulfilling believe society crafted attitude loving person loving offer cynical know honestly believe girl consider love life really pinnacle me comes to best days behind im sad ive come accept life goes people look see face value laugh smile lot reading probably built image head me probably look like imagine wear black quiet opposite actually  risk sounding like total dick im actually good looking guy dark cynical thoughts bury head want attention like people knowing good guy smiles lot want leave earth admit thing keeps alive fact took life would devastate family great upbringing family amazing cant help think would blame took life cant leave knowing death would hurt much made life conflicted know friends would get family never would knowing still stop thought tough walk bridge think i wish could jump stand bridge disrupt traffic allowing someone save life love heights always close hopping railing free fall breathing breathing outand splash relief say redflag weak easy way cowards cant say always case way end things terms one thing right selfish thing keeping around