reaching breaking pointive diagnosed severe my psychiatrists words own depression long time things finally reaching breaking point everyday seems living hell earth school friends consistently ignore treat like im outsider ever really talk either a im emotional breakdown b none friends around that act like im there or worse still like im painful nuisance worst all one person used talk this first person told depression worst offender every time see which often feel like knifes twisted stomach romantic life similar ive never kissed never girlfriend every time ive asked someone out ive denied hard school painfully boring best torturous slog worst grades shitter were talking low cs ds someone who last year straight student and matter hard try lack drive ability bring up home life bad family tries help me none understand depression like act depression simply means im sad top this feel like im carrying great weight shoulders lack energy anything lack drive willpower try improve lot antidepressants im simply damn thing anymore abandoned betrayed friends misunderstood family im cracking weight me simply going fuck you leaving reinvent option waiting high school hoping things get better college option im standing death seems way out back september attempted commit redflag failed next time im sure lucky