feel stupid thismy life really crappy parents dead tumors brain spinal cord grandmother raised never fails remind held back things me life would comfortable would able retire already  makes feel bad obviously resent saying things me makes feel worse fact people constantly telling im lucky her admirable stepping raise me since young could think much happier shell gone recently bought miniature dachshund puppy really love literally reason get every morning bought shih tzu like dachshund dog misbehaves beats tells it shell yell dog stupid like me gross like me makes feel like hates much hates dog care things important me reason killed yet im afraid happen dog ive always thought throwing busy street done it since im unemployed failure tells everyone too ive thinking different ways mind scares me feel stupid whiny feeling bad something trivial cant stop it