im fifteen already want dieim tired living spend day alone ive lost track time last months flew cant focus anything im constantly exhausted lived toxic family ive gotten beat belt thirteen punched twice constantly insulted father tried telling mom brushed everything told her sister completely invalidated anything said whenever said something little please that got attacked ends family trust anyone that cant talk people whenever someone tries talking freeze up whenever adult tells anything completely spiral teacher would tell stop something would feel shameful got bullied pretty much entirety middle school schools punching bag everyone would always make fun barely spoke all teachers joined too would get called on go silent would wait speak everyone waited around found friends least thought did im anybody else talk too year entered high school terrible get through felt empty time would pass would stay room im scared leave im scared talk anyone now feel like one life trust then first semester went home got called retard dumbass idiot days got pushed around yelled at etc know feel now im completely lost alone isolated im tired haul everyday want sleep things used pull work anymore anything friends anything enjoy anybody turn too cant much longer feel like escape this keep waiting get better suddenly four years passed nothing changed nothing seems change know else do im hopeless