need somewhere rant guessi hate talking things never make posts like this tried long time ago got really good advice figured id try again fucked up ive made many mistakes life know ill able redeem myself see future even anywhere close meaningful got discharged military im weak fuck mental breakdown looked like complete fucking idiot since life living hell therapists pills psychiatrists one listening said things dont think anymore plan outpatient behavioral study whatever fuck called basically partial hospitalization hopefully calm weeks dont much hope upcoming weeks fucked relationship dont think things ever same ive miserable love much made hard leave did know given chance ill become complacent spot want make things right im disgusting terrible excuse human dont kn mow how even point fixing things due ive lost best friend whos started talking again wish never reached fixed things would much easier right now know problems trivial im good explaining things im sorry sounds stupid guess wanted someone real listen one last time wasnt therapist paid care im probably much wimp even kill myself every attempt past ended way dont know do im tired paranoid anxious miserable life im sorry