know doive never posted before know do im yearold girl even know begin ive eating disorder since  really begin get bad  th grademy mother responded getting angry threatening me forced recover still struggle presently switch periods starving cutting myself going senior year high school pressured pick college apply to know make big decision know do want fall miserably boring career teacher encourages go art school saying im good enough go art center risd stand failing parents treating i told so mentality see future holds anything me scared going alone license drive yet attributes extremely low feelings self worth parents seemed eager help twin brother get license even bought carbut never seem willing help me wish would help me know ask it lack mobility alienate friends fear judge me push people away like myself boys express interest dating discourage want responsible happiness another cant imagine anyone liking even find repulsive basic issues right now even begin address everything else goes head everything overwhelming me understand people deal lives hard me want go another year misery think redflag often easy access mg prescription sleeping pills bottles prescription antidepressants could overdose easily also okay slitting wrists femoral artery sorry long thanks read all needed say something ive never talked anyone before friends even know hadhave eating disorder even though ive never eaten lunch beforeand parents oblivious guess