emotions break facade caring hurts mostso might little older you  life sucks knew person believe could feel way true happiness often times someone share life with goals fears aspirations anyone like almost  years real kicker is im attractive wealthy smart funny etc great qualities mean nothing utterly alone try open couple friends obviously want nothing conversation end instead trying help im gay im single kids relationships one really care much im not happy gets dark point feel ok take sleeping pill go bed even pm ill sit bed long feign sleep stay state waking emotions fully taken grasp awake want sleep mind turned pain even ability watch movie without feeling like shit turn off almost  pm think  hours late enough take another sleeping pill even though got bed  minutes ago life sit million dollar condo sleeping much can sleeping pain away increasing despair day innaction its going long even know get spiral ive crossed event horizon im spinning towards singularity hopefully less pain rest trip wish good advice im cautionary tale things replace people matter have someone pointless