two weeks ago made massive commitment move  miles new country gf new job new start ended blue day got therei first met gf work got summer job due connection boss theyre germany work uk office wed dating since last summer months clear boss winding operations uk refocusing everything germany located two us left working uk year guy apparently lost job put garden leave confirmation anything else otherwise talked gf possibility moving there returned home last august flown see every  months since lives  mins away german office works now seemed incredibly excited idea joining office uk one shut down last month march started happening everything seemed fine still super excited it finally ready go middle month booked channel tunnel ticket drove  miles germany literally got though suddenly totally blue made clear welcome stay her one else reach help speaking partial german way contact boss anyone worked with facing homeless almost immediately arriving even know get office address listed website expecting travelling gf anyway ultimately made decision go home could still afford travel  miles again around  hours driving total back home again emailed boss explain situation eventually replied sorry hear it looking solution heard anything two weeks apparently fired even officially notified ive sitting around waiting boss contact back still idea went wrong gf either seemed move right actually got there last visited midfebruary fine ever together even trying ask wrong happened got angry defensive blocked me cant even talk person literally  weeks ago best friend love life mean risk everything like someone sure about hurts even knowing happened asking makes angry cold feet maybe dunno would make angry even now feels like entire future destroyed one day gfbest friend job place living ive learning german literally putting move also video called every night nothing ever seemed unusual im back home even know ive officially fired either way longer office back job quickly going cause lot problems ive work  years ive jobhunting since far even response yet person could ever confide even speak me highlighted lack friends even more anyone turn anyone help me im approaching  years old im stuck mum again ive got prospects nothing good look forward to apart financial ruin bills commitments catch end month best friend since school even give enough time see left still make time even see now lives  minutes road makes excuses everytime suggest something hell never attempt rearrange suggest better time ive never felt low worthless alone life ive tried reaching tiny circle friends have theyre busy even meet me even telling happened literally cant see anything worth looking forward to already thought lucky job had im exactly fast learner despite efforts ive constantly worried falling behind ive got one even spend time with financial fallout job unexpectedly looming head really even means meet new people im quite shy awkward new people actually meeting someone new think im idiot pretty hard since ive come back home ive sitting alone jobhunting wracking brains could possibly even happened everyone ive tried reaching give time all either im much hassle deal with give shit me cant see way get better me already pretty depressed met girl gave new lease life new start somewhere totally new could try really find again much hope first time years first time life ive ever actually felt like someone wanted around me feels cruel thought finally found life could happy with pulled underneath me still even know why hate feeling like this thoughts ending make feel goddamn selfish see anything look forward to even really would miss me immediate family perhaps even get idea im already seen disappointment