dont know doim gay live utah family deeply religious got kicked house year half ago im going college grand total  friends one isnt talking dont know why two best friends one told make depression worse turn help cant talk anyone one ive never even fucking held guys hand fucking life dont know im kind rambling dont know do im lonely dont feel like home ive tried dating couple times guess get head want someone hold cry want old friends back came out feel like life going everyone around seems burdened me reason havent killed best friend one isnt talking me dad committed redflag could never make go again dont know go make life bearable counselor school really like him sessions feel helpful im end week feel like killing again im lost dont see reason dont know find purpose feels pointless im sorry dont mean bother anyone ugh feel like fucking exploding im sorry know people dont like swear words ugh tl dr im lonely piece shit