want kill im scared dieim  need help find courage kill mean particular reason everyone uses throws away get shouted lunch time people constantly call whore tell nobody wants sometimes teachers join call disgusting talk class disgusting think everyone basically hates person bf ended cheating  different girls told pretended fall love could sleep said actually like said im weird also struggle lot mental health issues ive trying hard get better hard people stuff every single day said im crazy everyone thinks stand didnt want everyone hate too told im suicidal said no youre not you wont it really want im scared dont want family especially little brothers find scared would affect cant anymore wish someone would shoot