always end suicidal thoughts even though theyre rationalive suicidal thoughts since remember time things go wrong end going thinking giving up im trans transition going wrong im young bad health studying career like sure help find job future ive going therapy since four years old never talk openly family friends always told suicidal thoughts laziness want work solve problems best thing repress harm people loves me ive spent night crying parents also cry cry cry more im tired think ugly stuff want think kissing boyfriend new cute socks know strength see problems realize life shaped like dead end plan get weapon shooting shot myself thing never unable get weapon fucking hate world munch