ruined lifein january sexually assaulted boyfriends roommate boyfriend dating almost four years time loved anything spiraled happened broke him tried find solace someone else pushed everyone cared away created fake version thought would keep emotions bay now september everything comes rushing in want back ruined everything every relationship have one blame alone this im tired feeling like this three years since diagnosed bipolar disorder ive never felt like ive gotten control life moods decisions cant mad people wanting around feels lonely now one left turn talk to two weeks ago made attempt got scared got help next day felt weak dont know get dark place