wanted people talk feel even worse even triedive gotten point want rant try get something this feel lowest ive years lost job retail year ago couldnt face going store anymore year half ago lost home landlord sold up new owners wanted us soon possible willing help cost etc already quite low sate point job becoming stressful worked stock controller busy small store well know company am moved store year manager want take her tbh wasnt ever overly happy moving agreed struggle say people new store wasnt alot busier old one morale low old manger store wasnt seen best terms people management didnt know time signed sick overall first year ok paying rent getting needed know housemates best friend wouldnt say happy havent felt truly happy long time getting life around march new year  old manager brought back store lost manager working try improve stock loss things like store morale whole felt done good job mean wasnt involed store morale store felt together soon old manager came back could feel drop people became less willing work hard felt like trying hard myself time losing place move back dads till found something else lose sort freedom sucked life became stressful me move around  weeks manger back got call manager ask charge shifts shift runner found stress much gave up told him kept me felt like ages constantly saying no really didnt want it went long eventually agreed said struggle say no next morning went work feeling like shit running store felt like leaving then got on moody admit whilst bringing delivery snapped asking moody snapped said excally said took realise much hate charge angry left work didnt go back  days didnt call store anything know wrong tried go day after knew trouble crying whilst driving in sat car tried build go in got sat wall outside smoke whilst lady store past ask ready busy day completely broken down told thought getting fired today lucky kind person went get person charge time also took doc visited younger depression try make stupidly long post least bit shorter keep doc stuff short know goes around julyaugust  im seeing doc taking meds im cbt sessions im sign work lasted around  months done cbt sessions still taking meds see doc still felt low ask could get proper therapy session doc refered local place would deal things go talk there went talked told offered service younger didnt even remember offered anything like this assume around  attempt take life im  writing this say get back me received letter day christmas saying wouldnt helping me low christmas stopped taking meds didnt visit doctor go back work really try couldnt it time thinking would easy jump infront train nearby bridge gave up didnt go anymore feb  lost contact ex housemates best friend time half year nothing sat room dads going dad said dinner would say night sleep day i still now sneeking snacks binging dad loves drink think feels bad buy junk food stuff me sadly hes bit enabler obeseness always way since maybe  know self control take responsibility myself around  months ago made reddit account not one made one post type places days ago never did honestly wanted talk someone took maybe  month actually reply someone acually maybe friends ive trying past week really put there giving much care people think unfortunately tell form post talk alot also get attached easily especially people actually dont mind me see people dont enjoy friend days talk people normally get tired me get told talk much ask many questions ive really lonely long dont really talk people well even friends putting left soon could know compared others issues stupid im feeling low right wana try get something maybe posting could help im gona lie say im atb point taking life feel could right now hours distraction me someone actually reads thank you really dont know say sorry wasting time shit life story perfect time want leave place everyone asleep would easy get car jump somewhere think weight help make easier long land head first honestly dont know people worse lives dont it guess im weakess weak sorry stupid post im sure people much worthy space here