it s like knowing your place in this world i ve always been proud of me i always felt i ve done thing a they should be done fairly loving good people listen to others helping them always trying to draw a smile on their face and making their world a better place because life is short and everyone deserves to be happy no matter what and i thought i deserved that too but all i can see is that i m lonier than ever i never felt what is being loved the only partner i had abused and cheated on me leaving me memory like me cry next to him and he sleeping peacefully i ve been in love recently again but i got rejected like a few time before that previous relationship i guess i m not good enough a always there s always prettier people than me i lost friend and people i thought they were my friend family and the two three friend i have now can t understand how lonely i feel some of my friend deceived me when i thought they would be here for me at hard time like i always did for them all i try to be happy seems to be in vain i will never be precious to someone i m sure that people who know me will still live if i die so i don t care anymore if i die right now life go on for them but i want to stop mine now my place isn t in this world i m hoping for a sudden death like a car accident a domestic accident or something that kill me because i m a coward and i won t kill myself hoping my parent donate my organ so someone with force of will life a happy life a life i wanted for me but i never got