im scared myselfi really tough time coming parents transgender born male living knowing since  im  told parents pretend ok want really arent push me hurt sister upon hearing really hurtful me scared huge fight dad seeing cry first time life seeing yell mad anytime life one hour went online searched redflag drugs methods always happy never thought moment would come calmed detailed plan weeks go get eyebrows done whole body waxed get professional makeup get hair extensions nails done etc completely look like girl i feminine face  body cross dress time getting public wear red dress get bed lots roses rose petals cut wrist bleed bed dress im scared keep getting closer closer this want call cops tell friend anyone want save this want live beautiful life transgender know can scares im close pushed ledge help myself