chronic pain gave scary thoughtive suffering since  years now discs spine degenerating pain going arm recent mri done found even discs spine degeneratingcervical lumbar ive started career sadly desk job corporate lawyer ive got dreams cant even go one hour sitting comfortably office religious think afterlife often nice would rid pain today asked difficult question want die broke tears could think miserable past  years been im  expected grow old spine continue deteriorate cried like little bitch