died right one would find weeksi really want kill myself somehow despite best intentions attempted failed three colleges cant hold job minimum wage thing deal assholes perverts general public gets unbearable year hairstyling license cant hold job either shitty undisciplined im almost  parents pay rent bills cant get together right now feel like get together juggle everything long come crashing start over over stepdad good guy never calls im pretty sure secretly despises person ive grown almost do mom pays everything buys great stuff still short snippy ive bad day boyfriend brings waste space ive become every time fight even though apologizes tell deep means it friends anymore either push away deal messy self see red flags bail also going cyst removed lady parts week half biopsy almost hope cancer feel like deserve it died family continually pay way life everyone would better unfazed killed right now thing stopping dog here want alone worried hungry long sometimes think taking bunch pills days really let people love almost feel like deserve painful death im stupid worthless ive somehow avoided darwinesque brutal end truly deserve feel like deserve punishment become person value even delusionally hope times failed please help reddit