never asked thiseveryone thinks im lucky im bored life ive tried plenty things nothing interests me dont want responsibility want stop existing grew poor family immigrants dad worked  seems like support older half brother sister mother myself mom would beat brother slightest mistakes shared room him sister fucking clueless always thought reason mom beating brother sister fucking clueless always thought brother deserved got didnt shed also ask world dad dad overly nice guy would damnedest provide even thought k debt time got high school still wanted private piano lessons car chearleading team go competitions brother became meth heroin addict wasnt allowed hang friends join teams dangerous god forbid drugs end like brother joined army booted two years racist platoon sgt nothing better time army two dads uncles died left gtmil tried college thing got useless psychology bachelors nothing interests thought psy might trick didnt psychology isnt real science everything theories never hold repeated testing results taken context applied broadly what want stop existing run away antarctica fall asleep blanket snow maybe try climb everest become fail becoming another macabre landmark adventurers come kill disappear father crestfallen hes nice siblings take advantage leave wish could go sleep never wake up