 years thinking it think im finally point im seriously considering iti cant stop fucking upi seriously ruin every good thing life cant seem stop much potential growing up smart outgoing ambitious thought future always seemed like would amazing optimist miss years long story short ive heart broken times count time takes larger piece me ive lost almost friends ones care convenient cant seem hold decent job make money support myself im practically homeless burden friends stay couch im type  diabetic barely afford insulin fucking clue ive fallen god damn far final nail coffin week date first time two years girl ive always crush on ment lot know capable opening another person again actually went really well monday first time years remembering happiness was feel alone well typical fashion ruined it got excited anxious drunk stupid unloaded boat load feelings anyone first date would seem psychotic soexcited feel again sent message apologizing unwarranted outburst talk me ive never handled rejection well knowing something stupid could avoidedi think heart left im tired everything go wrong struggle remember optimism even was try think positives life literally dogwho even anymore im fucking verge living streets ive fallen farther ever thought possible death honestly sounds better better life im guaranteed experience pain possibly another bout happiness deathdeath unknown maybe everything stops simply cease be maybe life suffer eternity hell maybe wake someone else like whole life nothing dream simulation maybe million different things could happen one really knows gamble sounds better continuing sad painful excuse existence managed see deadpool weekend hoping pick up thing stuck said life one giant train wreck brief commercials happiness think ive last commercial