officially wrote suicide note wanted kill today kept thinking friend family rely strength would shoulder cry things got hard thinking would also kill selves could bare thought hate needed keeping everyone together know loved could easily kill myself know suicidal thoughts get real low point people never realize strongest people ones hurting most show sadness take lightly strong woman offers advice encouragement truly hurting mentioned mom depressed still chose laugh face today broke cried honestly triggered want die knew pick back act two full pill bottles front write suicide note fake smile everyone needs me cannot ever talk feelings traumatized growing learning keep everything inside parents emotionally unavailable tended siblings realize toxic was wrote suicide note