alonewe hug goodbye airport make way boyfriend waiting upstairs get cab going home break open bags spill presents unto mum boyfriend ill stumble house lay bags one side drop fall bed ill pull covers tight around back mind pretend hug think tomorrow ill need get clean house somehow wonder ill enough strength get cook lunch family takes brunch tell stories trip ill turn tv silence kills me resent people wish alone wish go back empty house time wish someone say welcome home wish google talk home im sick become vulnerable broken body broken spirit loneliness eats even wish could smash everything around me pick shard glass rip skin open let out let every thing inside me pains watch pain flows veins want walk balcony sit rail feel sway wind till find courage let go fall freedom feel wind knocked lungs become empty empty empty darkness inside soul wish skull crack open pavement maybe everyone understand much darkness lives inside brain want breathe in gas slowly seeps away life feel falling asleep last time demons lay me well never wake again demons nip heels make way hell run beside me longer weight shoulders pulling many directions alone tonight wish could last time