really sure anymorehi want start saying nothing tragic happened lost family member anything like that none less still consider redflag everyday option honest guts even pain probably would dont way painlessly right would consider even more every time contemplate cutting cant scars would still manage heal this also parents would send hospital straight away could impact  year old  year old brothers love much basically hope thats keeping alive right now hope normal again reason feel way impossible talk people properly anymore in real life way look impossible look uncomfortable social situations truthfully am basically shit scared people now including family im really sure screwed know life went downhill ever since year  im year  developed believe chronic dry eyes sleep deprivation anxiety social awkwardness depressed name probably feel it never drugs smoked yet still look act talk bit like drug addict ok reason life went downhill year  onwards well basically move statesaustralia met someone who wish never met got addicted game masturbation porn became consumed masturbating porn found self energy play sport especially soccer cognitive skills window ever since then used really sporty kid really likeable enthusiastic life feel like energy drained zombie every day im sure masturbation problem tried stopping see improvement still stressed etc although managed stop week already several doctors specialists eyes nothings helped im starting lose hope self feel like every year going get worse worse think ill ever get job way am drive anything want homeless know deep really smart person hidden behind wall shit thats happening me theres anyone help would much obliged thank you