i am 0 married year this october and a four year old about to start school none of this matter when i m expected to pick up the slack for my family and their failing my sister wa diagnosed with schizophrenia my parent have no idea how to deal with it having lived with chronic depression their entire life and relying on faith to get them through she s refusing treatment medication and in denial of her condition it s a constant cycle of her being unstable hospitalized until shes able to manipulate the doctor that she s okay and go home to torment u my brother is leaving his military job after year and freaking out because he doesn t think he ll survive a a civilian i m fairly certain he ha his own mental issue stemming from way back but he s also just barnacled on to me for guidance i wanted to kill myself i wa about to and i called and got help and i ve been on medication for year i struggled with alcoholism in my early 0 and decided to stay sober for my daughter and i m finding it hard to hang on with all of this going on i m finding it hard to help people who don t want to help themselves but if i don t then everything just go to hell and i m the one to blame because i m the smart one and have to guide everyone where they re supposed to go it s exhausting having to care for people who refuse to accept they have issue i feel like i m being punished for being the only one in my family for having had the fortitude to acknowledge my mental illness it s taking a toll on my marriage and i am scared of the consequence of what that would entail i worry for my child because if i can t take care of myself then i can t take care of her i m staring at the same abyss that wa before me those year ago when i wa spiraling and i don t want to be here again anyway thanks for hearing me out reddit i just needed to verbalize it to make sure i m not just imagining it all