some of you on this sub probably have this a well i m about to be 9 and i have been depressed since i wa a child it ha taken away my ability to make friend be a functional human being and live a normal life i ve never felt wanted because i wasn t my narcissistic family wasn t of any help so i moved in with my boyfriend approximately a year ago i regret everything i have no support i m a disgrace to my family all i want to do is lay in bed and just stay there and the worst thing is i can t just kill myself or my boyfriend will be emotionally ruined i don t understand why i got into a relationship i m so selfish if it wasn t for him i would ve thrown myself off of an overpass a while ago i feel like i m going insane i want to die but i can t actually do it myself because of guilt fear so i m kinda just there trying to do what people expect of me