felt like wasteful empty piece shit thought fixing would fix mental statei everything supposed help  years workampxbi good dieti exercise every daymy hygeine taken care even comfortable appearancei meditatelow redflag well paying jobfriends family love support mean world mehobbies interestsi go outsidei get enough sleepampxbany yet still feel sameampxbi want die go sleep never wake up experience pain anymore want hurt anymore want sit feeling sorry without even reasonable explanation anymore know do tried fix it really tried want strong care me want hurt them know special everyone struggles would make things worse even dangerous care about here feel guilty it way get better hanging thread way drag this