day gets harder harder im losing survivefor past month ive spent almost every day bed literally nothing try take one day time day getting harder harder im losing survive weight loss plateaued  weeks self control turn overdrew bank account  way repay it started posting nudes attention got validating ive started cutting first time  years ask trans want life like this wish born regular person either gender wasnt ive gone mentally wish upon worst enemy destroyed life keep going trying look big picture knowing survive get eventually ive lost continue want get become person im proud point cant see happening want die want hurt anyone else feel option point