life puts much pressure me like would better end problemsits pussying out pain usually post need to keep wondering make alive next years much bullshit want end end complaining parents take initiative education never strong suit especially math every year work gets harder feel stupid left behind boring frustrating fuck eat everyones dust stay behind work parents think laziness legit hard pressure anxiety puts much now live conservative christian house im homoflexible know regular basis hear bash gay people talk burn imaginary place known hell hurts offends me time hear reddit im forced pray closet atheist suppress feelings am wont change anytime soon social anxiety confidence low get headaches feel everyone looking me feel like may ugly effeminate whatever hurtful words called years ago even now friends school year homeschooled thats going change next year still feel alone confidence low im like boys still difficult schoolwork still hide identity survive next year year that god forbid year that cant listen it gets better thats long really hard explain feel wanting get next morning hoping time flies adulthood hope get smarter fit without worrying rejection ridicule feel like much human everyone else feel ugly feel like bitch pervert fucking faggot called rings head feel like things wish could something stop life peace theres reasons alive urge grows grows head bursting want die badly