body dysmorphia making suicidalthe past month save last week going well ive made many friends put socially everyday look forward talking laughing really seem enjoy talking me even decided well chose start medication depressive episodes really thought could get happy myself ive even almost completely overcame disordered eating habits havent counted calories two months body dysmorphia one thing cant beat time spend social situations worse gets im exhausted im becoming obsessive controlling behaviors regarding appearance fucking tiring spend hours picking outfits trying on throwing rejected clothes huge piles bed every time wash hair blow dry it straighten it curl it go bathroom multiple times day reapply makeup check appearance spend hours flipping pictures analyze facial asymmetry skipped class today felt thighs chafe naked getting ready mental breakdown wanted kill overwhelmingly sad lonely crave death ill finally free body thoughts self loathing sounds freeing inhabit contorted sack flesh anymore im everything fight this yes therapist yes supportive friends family talk to dont instagram understand psychology behind way feel logically know im attractive girl nice body many nice features body dysmorphia always there dont know else try fight it want release im sick living like this