ex girlfriend recently broke due emotionally abusive ie lying gaslighting yelling put downs looking girls instagram prior relationship always problems mental health want hurt her truly love her says everybody says abuser ik love her sweetest girl smart beautiful respectful unique loving nor cal young people age acting grown respecting boys girls much respect girl like even similar try convince self bc long not took back fucking many times yet kept it got tired it molested made fun life emotionally abused since childhood mental health excuse did says bad person lot people agree horrible human deserve anything good life accumulation trauma loss first love unbearable overwhelmed feel alone every damn day fucking now wake up smoke play game nap smoke play game repeat really really really want end cycle ik fault feel way deserve hurting one gods precious angels go sleep every night wishing die sleephelp meplease stuck