seriously contemplating death since weekshi everyone first all obligatory throwaway left university  decided leave west european country african one find job did truly loved whole situation ended burning sheer amount required work shitty pay burnout came back parents europe im back round  now except time think life at exactly unique path ive taken heres thing passion burning desire anything started running year ago officially diagnosed depression due excess stress predisposition i never liked consider depressed always felt something life helps enough never really sportive recreative thing back university took classes based like  languages law road specialized wine trade everything fine realized would lead towards unaccomplishing jobs thought wine overrated wait work there everybody becomes extremely uptight overprotective label put bottle is all drink goes tourism event management latter get erase boundaries professional private lives weird hours get that perhaps would fine  people shitty pay get paid enough rather get paid enough extremely low maintenance person started saving half salary every month what significant purchase like housing never reach start buying car simply able save anymore  insure it repair put fuel it puts salary perspective work ass point destroy mental health least get paid respectable amount especially qualifications i postgrad so  would work much thats works get responsibilities travelled much barely good friends left honest theres parents people really care about that life taking much energy like running thats left good consumer care latest high tech equipment food care fashion obviously dig outside tiny bubble theres also current environmental political global issues im used open all probably first time ever do first time actually consider killing myself never really afraid idea dead transition life death medication mg citalopram per day since september seem anything ill sure go see somebody soon obviously know ill ever able change life change things much define me thanks reading hope come across somebody experienced similar thing would love give family grand kids cant wrap head around dragging somebody mental state let alone raising anybody