feel trapped inside mindyo sometimes hear voices head encourage harm others sometimes even feel like killing someone im pacifist try even voice opinion chance hurt someone try best resist voices head feel much guilt past actions hurt many feel guilty always quiet person would say anxiety never let stop things make anxious like public speaking meeting new people etc bipolar tendencies ive never let anyone know dont want attention dont want anyone know never want say ive bad life things could much worse lot experiences dont want long read feel awful past actions ive mature earlier life dont blame anyone feel want love everyone life show much love have thinking ending all makes feel awful dont want anyone think fault would really like talk blade ready finally decide need dont feel need intervene im rational guy for part