im getting it mind raced time never knew capable one day took shard glass wrist release blood pounding head helped escape began cut week twice became intense took apart razor hands could much blood possible release anymore became routine instead cutting twice week became twice day creative carved words help me wrist large proud drew initials boy bone cut could see muscle blood felt high pain began think ways out could see redflag felt like left me drew plans first thought painlessly began think going bang considered hanging shooting myself end took bottle pain pills feeling numbness throughout body go toxic shock probably relaxing thing world began sink onto floor time heard someone open door ended getting stomach pumped stay hospital  days realized plan failed cried sick went home still broken attempted again again again every time tried either failed stopped mother emotional wreck hated hurting her time believed gone worry anymore wrote redflag note get chance go plan knew would successful going jump  story building next fathers work particular reason chose building figured itd painful anyways gave trying die im glad did too still cut get feeling blood running skin got help bestfriend understand put me helped tremendously still relapse every awhile control now thanks reading im getting it oh mention im 