ive decided kill myself dont upvoteim sorry comes wall text im also sorry rambling nonnonsensical wanted write down going kill myself decided to ive tried past past weeks ive getting closer closer going it realised it id ever spontaneously way work set date plan id one day decide todays day id thinking that wondered whether right thing do know make note like lot people life important people family members friends people knew kid made impression life id like say something nice them tell appreciated there telling family fault sort thing realised months advance even years advance itd horribly macabre so many people id want say goodbye to im hoping ever decide write note whatever time id written things wanted say go id changed mind right want die im quite keen living bit longer ive pressing past days though came home college see family college works getting worst me anyway walking around neighbourhood realised many different things reminded times happy passing piece graffiti told ex once sort thing kind upsetting got in happened start listening music know whole constantnoveltyseeking type midnset websites like reddit foster horrible downside past  years so ever since got net theres always one song ive playing others like song like much makes hate it find another one anyway ended stumbling towards ive seen face beatles reminded last year highschool everything much better top game taking running seriously gotten ivy league college class president soontobe valedictorian school organised prom great time listening particular song took back that id done lot work get point id already battled eating disorders self harm rest it pulled it managed coped eventually started succeed know turn life around like once again get back emotionally physically academically one small tiny fucking piece time ive decided kill myself hopefully ill able update future life crumbling around past year half want set putting back together read this thank you wt