im closei think killing daily basis thoughts past couple months now thing stopping right children say thing really mean thats it sometimes though feel like maybe would better without anyway deserve someone better anyway husband cheated one family members apologized trying hard make me thats even really though family knew never told me lot well almost everyone life completely lied this absolutely one life with exception kids really me care me come big family find life completely change damaging think ways this kids find anyone else think stay sibling come back house hang myself call police one them finds me close think live way anymore cant it