theres much cant stop cryingits new years eve cant help reflect theres much need change myself im overweight shorttempered immature thinkingreactions receive respect siblings friends elders made seriously stupid mistakes past ended less mediocre graduate school seriously affect future career opportunities want wellread want get involved three hobbies im interested in cant cant trying get high marks school make past mistakes crumble weight want take on throw sibling whos clinically depressed brings endless amounts stress torment family severalyear long ldr woman plan marry cant plans us finally one another another  years theres much take on ive tried time time make progress balance life change attitude everything falls apart weeks point fall cyclical rut depression lock room days crying regretting hating life live  guy like come along much farther have many  friends actually theyre excelling fit making huge strides professional personal lives am fat lazy unmotivated moron cant seem make step progress damn direction deal jealousy motivating achieve goals saying everything happens moot several decades live itd nice ended