never ending guilt cycleim end crisis situation got drunk made get really sad wanted kill them begging me telling losing mind tried let get got bed used crisis line stay level headed removed firearms house suicidal pastso bit difficult going this redflag attempts kinda reason this feel guilty stuck thinking caused redflag attempts theyre stuck one moment time unable let go tried therapy several family sessions talking happened place right cant get kinda help got wed kinda lose everything went away serious form treatment sadness honestly happens every time drink which like month try best keep going overboard always fail get left positions like im currently in theyre partially right actions trigger mental break brought childhood trauma anxiety depression surface dealt treatment moved on feels guilty past cant let go of ive forgiven moved on every time break drinking feel guilty making go suicidal causing pain suggest getting help talking people cant talk it theyre stuck wanting help holding onto pain pushed cant anymore point everyone safe now idea whatll happen light day