want get helpi want quick fixes want distract inevitable death want someone talk to sort problems situational existential nature want done ive reached hotlines ive gone therapybut useless cant even hold job let alone get one now debilitating depression low selfesteem want feel cold embrace death want experience last dying gasp cross emptiness nature become one firmament waste spacea machine longer function lost ability lost survive all machines anyway soulless world method conducting redflag finger buy button amazon speak least say used money something positive oh yeah student loans shove it 