really need helphello reddit like title says really need help suggestions call someone let tell bit myself im girl  years age gay middle eastern come fairly abusive poor family father alcoholic used beat mother pretty regularly front brothers growing up turn mother beat us well way coping pain anger cause one listen hers necessarily blame her wish bad time tried commit redflag age  ingesting  tylenol pills alas hold down threw up passed out thing  unfortunately results started cutting  til  mother found words were quote i care yourself always denied needed emotionally saying give time ill betteror think happier things would tell stories pregnant older brothers father would kick stomach fainted jump window order save little brothers life stomach needless say pretty horrible image family honest thought normal led string pretty abusive relationships women turn mindfucked thinking im worthless honest family already way ahead curve started cutting year made close friend continuously disappointed her know it intend tell her anyone cuts knows way transfer emotional pain physical started selling body money men  years old pay school books along fulltime job family afford it even could would blow things like cars brothers pay student loans always deemed worthless honestly wish knew would anything fix it quite recently graduated top class uc berkeley degree economics english literature family disowned past month  name pay rent get food upcoming months ive taking medication severe migraines got year make everything worse ive going string interviews companies honestly hope dwindling incredibly fast lost friendship friend honest need stress put quite happy time says im depressed true am so pretty much live alone city one talk family guess growing always kind knew would way realize much would really take away much would hurt so reddit im wrap unfinished business tidy apartment get everything nice clean taking life still lot prescription medication left alcohol pretty easy purchase hopefully coma trick honestly reddit thank making laugh days really needed it cant really live like anymore really wish different