wasted whole life nothing playing mobile games day sitting couch day already  years old still even job yet truly sad pathetic parents actually trying threaten get job kick house right graduate high school  year left graduate honestly care parents anymore want kick end life never really cared wanted live guts kill waiting patiently parents help end pain planning end life right graduate chronic procrastination affected life many ways affected physical health hygiene relationship family school grades mental health struggled chronic procrastination ever since elementary school really know wrong past based research  sure struggling chronic procrastination adhd reason struggle chronic procrastination chronic procrastination pretty much took away happiness gave nothing self hatred hate hate way today truly want change bad habits difficult cannot even something simple brushing teeth everyday again shows pathetic much mistake am tried change bad habits past like drug addict eventually relapsed back old bad habits trying change bad habits feels like asking person smoking addiction stop smoking completely difficult change fact cannot change bad habits matter hard try makes feel like maybe end life end disappointing family maybe born fail life never succeed longer see confidence see point trying anymore nowadays let chronic procrastination destroy life everyday life pretty much playing mobile games day sitting couch honestly cannot stand thing everyday know even tried changing going fail anyway weight increasing every month due lack exercise really care hoping heart attack kill me dental health looking good either again really care today waiting death thinking end next year wish could sleep forever escape reality know possible year difficult me sometimes cry night amount pain going through tired pretending ok front parents really idea much pain going long suffered pain argue yell me worse feel myself think past memories hate myself playing mobile games day coping mechanism helps escape reality helps distract brain pain everyday act nothing wrong hiding really well hiding emotions distractions deserve everything happening hope get covid nd time hopefully end time done life  year left live