feel life worthless need helpadvisethis first time asking help cant really talk parents say stupid depression real problem worry about etc might make mistakes since native language english  year old girl living parents studying last year university degree last  years life real friends friends parents  love heart might ask  years old pretty outgoing child hard make friends parents moved country  russia spain economical reasons know spanish communicate anyone loneliness felt cured watching tv surfing internet playing games time learnt spanish anything common talk classmates no one interested liked time became unsociable introverted thing cheered parents pretty well studying lived today friends eat play gamess read study fat  kg weight ugly people would advise lose weight stuff that  years went gym putting makeup trying talk people wearing beautiful clothes still ignored people find real topic talk about feel like exercising putting makeup anymore left gained weight one time try hard still lonely either way also lately likely fail subjects university huge since family poor also hit hard selfesteem went downhill parents angry thati cant find job since spain unemployment high  theyd rather employ spanish person mei feel stressed last  years every day thinking suiciding useless life and likely future thinking future get well payed job finishing studies buy anything want maybe lot happy moments no change anything work life boyfriend first kiss friends acquitances starting lose interest even trying things trying go trying make friends every time see people know happy travelling friends always sociable feel worthless inferior want continue miserable want think redflag every day want stop crying almost every day one sees me stop depressed kniw antmore do think life worth living way is sorry hard read bad expressing