going long post complaining please read time willing helpright  week final exams barely studied cannot help panic keep imagining worst case scenarios failingi last year school year basically determines future people say country grades determines college go year living hell get even worsei spend day isolated room procastinate i behind studying year think behind cannot handle fursturation procastinate even makes situation worse reached point never imagined would condition  week finalsi really started hate self develop impostor syndrome feel like good friends they could simply sit study one feels immense resistance fursturation also stopped believing god became secretly atheist envy religous friends something believe makes strong nothing one understand going i cannot help think like  year nonending headache backneck pain scoliosis redflag makes worse worst thing parents expects get high grades would study engineering matter time find much piece shit get immensely disappointedthey high hopes one siblings good school year fucked lifei watched alot self help stuff work anymore i lost motivation help lowest point life