note hope help people understand one day thank youdont read last night first night thought enough energy it never real felt brain numb tears anxiety focus hopelessness hopelessness self esteem hopelessness hopeful thinking go exact spot dreamed happening sticking decision moment walked front door never wanted leave note im gonna start see get dont want call seasonal depression captive depression nonsensical depression proves useless curable wanna call restless hopelessness nothings left sad feelings go numb literally feel bliss go body im still imaging nothingness dont know mind goes drifts dont wanna make sappy note sticking facts logical non sensical ironic sounds coming depressed kid dont sad leave angry drive find real cure patience cure comes happy patience support like dopamine drip kidney failure patient striving get transplant surviving medication theyre skin turns yellow family love ever drove resenting emotionally ugly treat everyone great mask fact really another spec star dust universe doesnt care im ash want listen make note want understand really feels like even though brain body hopefully never will want listen tell working pushing harder ever isnt working me need reason emotion great life what strive cant reach try ill never see really feels like normal again name every reason wrong dont convince im wrong convince brain subconscious  convince sadness less sadness others take care mourn sadness others dont want share this mind clearing up always trys best moment carve path clear view one days storms going thick wont feel drowsy day hope whatever hell pushing me little mercy love guys love you dani