thought feels commanded god almostmy life mine want with ive tried selfimprovement halfassedly still means nothing purpose world means nothing im kinda sorry friends dudes band suddenly leaving them deserve better time could never met died years ago grateful time got spend realize going hurt sooo maaannnnyyy people like lot know pretty much everyone knows likes me except select suppose none means anything im mostly tired wageslave race quit job  years ago instead killing then basically considered long money lasts retirement  time want die thing felt like amazing epiphany last night band practice thought lying redflag started believing god spirituality coincidences producer come last night mentioned engineer studio killed himself said something about the last ever did  exactly considering new album were recording right now today realized end matter distraction kind person could live working company day live little bit end day weekends allocated vacation time sure id crush life want to give fuck entitledspoiledbratty sounds shit ton abilities plenty support people would absolutely willing help want it little myself im musician playing sitar  gigging every while play trumpet keyboard yes time great band full awesome loving dudes totally deserve started fighting back tears there im decently talented drawing amp painting accomplished unique things woodworking google first last name playboy might find used do excellent support community part aa counselor thats great talk to handful females willing fuck could probably talk to also worked civil engineer  years lol almost forgot that enjoyed teaching music lessons past even currently one prospective music teaching jobs interested in much do im capable smart person anyone meets me eventually tell  im sure act smart notice really true likely ive gotten good dropping hints people know am satisfy ever inflated ego people like its sad much potential mean potential life allowed commit redflag cuz thats fucked thing say talentless dumb folk potential people like oh well dumbass much contribute good riddens lol sad last night felt like oh got this sure probably could want realize okay die morality nothing it im hurt anyone even though theres going serious collateral damage truly intention want experience anymore world good enough stick around even though much im still curious about better call saul came again media things whatever list distractions things curious accomplish abilities care anymore want completely reduce time accomplish things less nothing need work live maybe born better society ill take life sure one cares less controlling masses trying empower them one people power give shit world leaving children instead making rich corporations richer  getting worse one less racist bigoted trump supporters actual power all thats world yall deserve frankly honestly trump supporter fucking die world would better place everyone would get yall quickly want honor somehow fucking punch every trump supporter know hard fucking can right face dick arm fucking charliehorse em leg cuz fuckers seriously fucked morals okay world leaders blatantly racist coming someone justify redflag seriously people currently if used since changed mind congratulations growing trump supporters think this greatest country world reason statement far fucking true mean get political kind things able overlook determine kind person are people rest guys choosing stick around for acceptance something pray aa accept theres options life  work job live try much fun possiblehelp peopledont help people whatever  work poor homeless maybe living welfare shelters pssht nah  die somehow yourself shoot public place yourself peacefully whatever options have acceptable suppose people soon miss pray acceptance sad death say could prevented want help redflag inevitable ill tell ya getting guns easy woulda with yall might gotten juicy letter ive always torn gun control issue lol like want easy obtain kill myself want crazy people me them anyways im hanging highest ceiling house consume nice bottle whiskey money check forged parents maybe chinese food last meal know im leaving this little bored guess waiting new friendly kitchen cook lunch special greekrave finish gyro spinich pie dumplings  got back btw greekrave forgot make spinach pie dumplings lol imagine see news like oh shit cant believe messed order killed it lol im glad cheerful mood this redflag sad anyone looking advice accomplish redflag helps things would shameful come back from like stealing  mom last drinks meals going ahead drilling ceiling hang noose  course correctly calculating load bearing heightsdistances pork gyro boneless spare rib general tsos amazing btw might get egg roll lol ugh great fucking advertisement businesses unknowingly chosen last meal dude good lord stuffed content really feel lived full life experienced experience  travel friendship career accomplishments pride art wonderful loving relationships  long lasted many different crafts facets life offer enough me it im posting soon climb ladder anyone curious later this check instagram see folks tagging lol might nice drama yall cant figure account really probably kill lol worry trying talk it im already gone feel free talk amongst yaselves maybe want imagine talking me