feel like im doomed lifetime failure disappearthis first time posting reddit apologise formatting errors need vent hopefully get someone help me remember last time truly happy life honest wonder ive ever happy child grow loving home  dad physically emotionally abusive towards mum sister i result left scars us sister also slew issues well used kick call worthless managed move started seventh grade right family anxiety ridden mother even want help here thing ive suffered depression life sad im  pretty quite intelligent yet cant seem feel happy anything hell cant even aim achieve dreams live country job market people age studying university terrible feel like im destined lifetime failure want die one even understands feel yet every day pretend im fine fact im far that someone please help me want happy