dont see point living anymoreim  year old high school student ive always suicidal ever since   school deteriorating am ive always good hiding pain suffering constant anxietydepression ive always kid school thats bit goof needs sleep nice guy ive noticed recently ive worse job this several friends also going thru tough times recognize face someone lost live asks im okay ofc say im fine im type guy confess everyting friends once im sti kinda waiting feel right honestly im feeling okay feel suicidal thoughts slowly creeping me feel like always  control life worst habits doingm work properly unable sleep even though im always constantly tired going  gpa frsshman year  dropping feel like parentd school raping metaphorically parents sure love me fucking expect like korean kid noting studying sats tests oh finished track practice worked schoolwork  hours stop watching youtube study sat class cant explain well actually hate parents much anything support me nothing torment me home supposed safe haven youre supposed feel home school home human nature desire education learn however keep feeding informatuon education said dtudents dont think theyll get tired like pizza crave it nuch get sick it im sick school im sick learning im sick grades grades determine whether live streets live house schools courses fucked doesnt allow us major courses want tried killing  months ago rope bit thin snapped died blacked bit regain consciousness fortunately unfortunately getting point im fantasizinf hanging buying whole bunch drugs od die dont see life going get better life going pretty well recently completr switch direction dont feel like living thing thats holding back killing im afraid whats death im religous never be religion fabricated lie control people andgive fake hope im afraid death literally nothing scariest thing ever think about im sorry long idk going  morning mind pretty boggled friends nice enough send answer hw part lab honestly lovd friends much hope awesome life never deal eith to lied  things keeping fron killing death guess losing friends important people im sure want advice someone convince wanna talk im caught up like confused gender sorta rather whether want live die like anyways rhanks reading comment anyting want comment kys wouldnt mind