main support tired methis first time something like this im freshman college far home friends dealing depression anxiety long time started self harming years ago past months ive seriously considered redflag best friend always big support me different states seen since summer past week one worst weeks life hurt really badly began writing goodbye letters ready it tried reaching her always says wants to respond guy reason last week mom came parents weekend really think wouldve done otherwise anyway friend big long talk happened know level feels terrible needed most kept saying one point making things hard her put much pressure her im upset this think thoughts often constantly feel like burden shed better without me hearing actually say stuff made almost impossible go on days since incident kind distant unwilling discuss happened feel alone empty know would upset died im juts confused im working finding therapist the colleges wellness center made feel worse knows this reason ive open friend suicidal thoughts asked be im quite sure im hoping get posting this want alive anymore im asking save me reassuring im burden really enough long tendency answer hours stuff never bad never asked help best friend know without her know wants me anyone else dealt something similar continue work friendship let go let go practically alone want feel tied down know could use advice guess right feel like need end one deal anymore