going college biggest mistake lifelong story short delusional  year old self real world experience idea world worked support system behind besides momdad raging abusive alcoholic torn family apart decided would great idea go state school mom cosigned loans bless heart wants whats best me set first two years straddled debt already quite well managed finish first two years  gpa part idea wanted life still dont taking mostly intro classes electives fill schedule two years made single biggest mistake life decided transfer even nicer state school even expensive mom cosigned loans got got cushy one person apartment paying rent loans dumbest thing could ever done even though still am thats depression sickness whatever hit me super lonely literally never made one friend contemplated redflag daily even though probably never balls mom dead one left life matters needless say never attended class slept almost day basically prison cell me even though would seen outstanding opportunity normal person failed outmainly dropped out first semester never got refund first second semester took second semester off fast forward im second semester third school im state surrounded quite high school friends also attend im still stuck rut im watching friends high school graduate year branch live lives meanwhile im stuck limbo land im already k debt literally nothing show it im boat second school basically received academic warning last semester far looking like im going suspended im skipping class feeling depressed daily although school offers third chance want take ill thrown real world paying student loans skills experience kind meaningful work id homeless mom fail out ill move back mom alcoholic dad brother never went college also lives really wish brothers situation yeah sure never went college also straddled crippling debt rest life whole life literally boiled idea needed go college make something life im insurmountable amounts debt see completely fucked wish never went first place want kill go away everything saddest part mom left loans greatest thing ever happened supported way signing life away well im lose lose situation possibly do see doctor stuck feeling like forever way death