i ve had suicidal ideation almost everyday for year now i ve kinda lost track when specifically because everything just seems like a blur i feel trapped in a way because i don t want to hurt my friend and family but at the same time i m just so exhausted with living i just want to be set free and i wish they could just let me go and finally allow me to leave this world i mean being gay and asian american should give enough of a reason a to why i ve ended up in this predicament i just wish i could have been born normal i wish i could have had a normal childhood i wish i could had all the thing that came with growing up like crush prom night or dating in high school and then piling that on top of all the other horrible shit that exists within our society i don t even want to continue with life anymore why should i even bother if world i live in wa never made for people like me why would it be bad if i choose to leave it isn t it more selfish for them to keep me hostage alive