lonesome heartsicki dont know right sub this im really verge committing redflag however thought heavily interwoven current honest regular moodfeelingmental state dont even really know goal post honest guess im drunk want talk little maybe im journaling feel free skip post anyway basically jist im really depressed mainly im really lonely heartsick girl course thats big part it right least im heartsick like many different girls dont even know well havent seen years facebook work with memories past etc im gonna pretend sexual attraction isnt big part it fact honestly cant tell im lusting women find attractive know that im disgustingly cringeworthy romantic heart point like dude youve gotta quit fantasizing living happily ever every girl click attracted to makes really sad leads things like make post among things mention really weird creepy im told feel like tricked disney like little boy something ive yet able conquer true young love two soulmates destined together start lives doesnt exist girl next door isnt real thing childhood even high school sweethearts fiction wasnt allowed club least killing seems main thought get contentment anymore heartsick real fact im textbook loser age  fucked life up real thing going me big part it honest think could learn live long side risk sounding dramatic arrogant ive frequently made comparisons living constant void similar living chronic pain guess sense is ask you legitimate trouble getting sleep night instantly felt awful waking morning throughout day constant nagging nauseating pain never really goes away alternates less worse would perhaps consider taking life point end pain dont want pretend know like live debilitating disease causes chronic pain im also honest say best analogy come feel constant never leaves alone forget feeling actually good feel like life force sucked body mind got home work tonight sat chair thought none it feeling like shell person staring blankly eyes frequently welling up tangible feeling comes seems sinkinginyourchest feeling think girls mainly her dont even feel anything think failure except maybe dull anger im sorry rambling dont anyone feel need reply even read this could say much much more honestly think maybe served purpose cause dont feel like talking anymore maybe not im thinking mainly her girl ive deep love year gave axe back march then damn really wish mm option