life feels like falling apartmy name jacob graduated college spring without job place live due medicalmental health stuff getting way recruiting found job home town live parents one talk support me met girl developed longdistance relationship first person life truly felt comfortable around could myself could wear piercings express bisexual side felt content was weeks ago stopped texting much much less responsive felt like things falling apart brought said stressed college life weekend planned together last night texted told over longer anyone life talk support me previous relationships ive raped abused dont think capable letting anyone else close me job isnt something enjoy barely pays bills doesnt push me im top university peers making much money jobs love seem fucking happy dont anything anymore motivate get bed morning dont anyone longer comfortable expressing myself removed piercings pride stickers art everything instagram nothing brought joy past year used to games movies photography art music nothing life spiraling past two years kind final straw ive telling life get better doesnt feel like it tried drive bridge today stopped calling redflag hotline want go therapy dont want live forever capable letting another person get close was met her decided im going give one last go someone develop much trust in ive hurt much people trusted rape physicalmental abuse ghosting theft drugging blackmail etc cant put again alone sucks feel like unloveable unwantable im lost dont really want anymore