take suiciding let people world know im invisiblewhy try redflag car leaving run await death work first time obviously im trying today friday cause right have guts jump shoot like rapist told me days consist painful redflag methods either fail sleep rets of wake try different one hoping fail wake another day fair share trying xyzall failed tired me passively want already least then free this also worry weight amount talking shift mind im become determined this simply versions last diary entries thing drop hard paper name rapist thats need know finally succeed eventually one days might shoot jump im trying go less messy route