wrote somethingbeen long time since wrote something really wanted get feelings out going anything soon death mind constantly ways want cease exist thanks reading dh easy whether believe not is just stop cease be hard part baggage comes death includes much involuntary emptying bowels hear tv movies dealing shit pants others deal something take lightly hell first couple years life loved ones actually praised it really trouble dealing ripple effect comes leaving make jump calm water death water quickly heals waiting next permanent guest waves escape jump cause damage tsunami make landfall living friends family brothers parents daughter caught guard see massive wave hurling towards them hard part death hurt heartache others stems decision take game token board pass go matter many people judge collecting sweet  hurting people never strong suit mine never hurtful comeback time could never throw punch couldnt pain someone purpose leaving would difficult dont want hurt anyone dont know keep hurting daily even upkeeps loved ones happiness really want enter sea death water droplet myself taking trace presence me leaving wake hurt others around me 