really muchyou know thick a im sure call itmaybe moment past mental breakdown sure it breakdown end breakdowns absolutely sure want escape pain deep hurts bones cry hours days pass made another hit again deep soul time feels like really pain handle eventually end rope thats always feels like but eventually be now wish before wish would able follow one times think much happiness everyone gone lay crying dry tears try write kids notes care people able show love them good crying cold try write letters flashes youngest giggling im holding wave pool waves going clings me joy happiness want feel heart play head want paper memory me