truthtruth is always want die hate existing honestly writing words paper scares shit raw me want show people that feel like im trapped nowhere go whatever do makes bad person whatever say makes bad person feel like wanna shoot myself im bad person feel like shit something talk it im bad person make others feel bad constantly alive tell anyone problems feeds negativity ive always awful person deep down ive always been ive struggled like accept years ive realized really garbage want stop existing cant believe god hates me let die everyday hope wake dead makes happy thinking it unfortunately come ever want future want anyone else nothing one bring happiness im tired trying want die deserve anything anyone understand im still alive keep replaying ways could really hurt brutally much blood satisfying makes sad know ill never die soon want die cant hate cant maybe deserve stay alive continue suffering happy feel bad person am