give up completelyim  years old im old washed up lonely dates friends everyone moved far away plus one ever visits me see anyone unless see them never good anything people seem patronize deem incompetent nearly everything do never felt truly accepted social aspect life sports coworkers clubs etc people gravitate towards way others unless text first hear people whenever try make plan things get excuses ive tried several meetup groups good experience them fired job sucked first junior software position blew it worked super hard get lost fast think im extremely unintelligent takes long learn things also huge problem self discipline motivation never stick anything people mock rejected im stereotypical black person bad tests got low sat score graduated college  everything tried told variation im not cut this maybe ______ you make matters worse also suffer adhd aspergers depression mocked too would like children think gonna happen cant meet woman save life honestly gun posting shit would load chamber put barrel mouth pull fucking trigger wanna sleep forever never wake up fuck planet give up