whole day bed crying mi cant stand seeing people happy understand wrong me over good student year best im meltdown hope get reincarnated week person before something happened unconsciously and friends would get girlfriend would wonder too  monday day test knowledge faculty someone cared much grades someone anything now wanted jump building cutting razor seems best things getting worse every minute miss lot things maybe im kind idiot im favor missed normal family whole life since parents divorced  yr old missed someone give advice lot things never happened happen never friends always missed dad never learned make friends remember feeling normal presence kid never sister brother nobody still nobody nothing absolutely nothing worth living except things miss wonder chance would happen