keep ending back herebetween ages   tried commit redflag twice never able get help therapy deal own began strongly advocate anyone ever committing redflag gave perspective someone whod grown past wanted show others too feel like liar gotten past all im  now teenage years spent trying pick pieces mental health ive kind become burnout despite much loved drop put college due life issues im indebted go back even wanted to matter much feel like im longer suicidal guy matter much feel like one used harm seem always find right back here seems like everytime find shred hope im confronted even issues snuff potential happiness feel like im cursed walk dark shadow head despite beautiful think world is much love people come across id better end everything finally rest know ill actually it know make im really expecting advice even response thought would great guess im sick holding feeling want say somewhere hopefully itll take weight heart