im currently  years old think ever happyim currently  years old know anymore life know anymore live within group pretty big friends we around  thing is many friends really hard find close one find someone talk everyday fun everyday etc always wanted best friend my best friend went japan  although hes going return brazil november also always wanted girlfriend like really always wanted someone love me make feel important make feel well terrible crush experiences past felt would never girlfriend reason girl like me guess what currently girlfriend  months in really cares me loves me makes feel one important person world even gave tons love letters gave shirt one picture frame us put bedroom pendant letter l both names start l lot candies she knows like chocolates valentine guess what still feel like shit im insecure everything reasons doubt her seen everything her know bitch anything always problems cheating me ending losing somehow guess would could call possessive really trying better really try to cant fucking fail man worthy her disrespect way suffered depression still do led possessive girlfriend im scared cant stop possessive matter try even though obvious give up since really loves me also started go therapies taking medications although weak really help me im weak skinny weigh around kg that would around  pounds cant get fatter metabolism really crazy matter much eat like  meal per day still hardly get fatter cant grow muscle all because well give going gym while leads next thing want get chest motivation anything like one day might sudden burst motivation something really good go gym like previously said good something ie drums guitar sport competitive videogames start projects week so lose motivation had therapist said always used everything easy easy me challenges appears like getting good videogame learning guitar end giving up like years cant anything cant maintain routine cant mantain healthy lifestyle this installed app would remind drink water everyday hour because rarely remember to first  weeks fine like schedule give fuck anymore gave up also really affects grades highschool since create routine study everyday well exams guess what give too hardest part cant help it cant help all try best lose motivation end losing sometimes redflag thoughts appear head end considering it thing stopping devastated family girlfriend would commit it