since i can remember a a kid i had problem with anxiety it is not that i can not hide it except tremor but sometimes it is too tough and overwhelming whole my life i used to be compared to others and rejected at first instance of any kind of trouble it troubled me a lot because of bullying body shaming physical abuse even i developt chronic disease and had suicidal thought because of it the worst one wa rejection by the close one who said nice thing about me and thought otherwise my spirit in a way kept me feeling better because i made myself go against anything even if it is that stressful and i am hyperactive i know i am strong willed on one side but there is huge unsettlment on other side which is very hard sometimes to control i can have 0 bpm doing just nothing the worst thing actually are my thought and overthinking every single decision that i ever made i am thinking about going this time to have a talk because i do not know how much i can take more and when will my will break at some point even tho i make myself do thing to feel better