m almost  never dated anyone never first kiss avoided main high school social events prom parties thought physically inferior everyone else worth noting attempted date rejected hurt every single time tried still put horrible depressive state emotionally many friends see people work many people talk snapchat stuff makes hate life even more understand get people talk snapchat get confidence even ask someone snapchat unless like best friends family asking someone snapchat instagram may something super simple everything else me requires days sometimes weeks planning going every single scenario could casually ask someone without random weird find myself face especially utterly repulsive ugly instance employment manager work high schoolers girls like take pictures us the managers reason ask say funny work environment really relaxed like fun work acceptable every manager tell want picture taken keep trying it tell why tell feel really ugly hate way look believe too therapy working feel like mind cannot changed want changed feels like cannot feel like forever idea turn here thanks advice advance get self degrading mindset