living dream fucked lifei cant believe different life compared year half ago studying uni internship film company loved gotten accepted dance team training gigscompetitions guess fucked started counselling near end degree started confront feelings gender disphoria counselling realised wanted badly transition tell loved ones feel accepted ready to went hill graduated getting month extension able graduate friends dance crew took break stopped dancing isolated room continued binge eating which always turn trying finish uni deadlines worked part time job free time would watch shows phone spend wage food couple months id put  kilos completely given following passions dance filmvfx degree go make worse weight made look much feminine fast forward got laid full time night shift job ive put another  kg given hopes ever trasitioning anything life want find another mindless nightshift job make ends meet untill ive properly planned redflag worked guts