life isnt even bearable anymoreive much pain since  years old  years later im still pain know people worse know people experience things worse ive ever experienced im sick hearing that im sick hearing feelings arent fucking valid im young moment wake up moment go bed im much emotional pain hard cope theres always heavy weight chest suicidal thoughts race head im sick living im fucking tired life long pain gonna last like doesnt end im tiny insignificant dot universe wouldnt matter gone anyway ive gone  inpatient hospitalizations countless medication changes two therapists almost  crisis evaluations multiple redflag attempts etc im sick hearing life worth living thats fucking joke im sick hearing life matters doesnt im one  billion people planet gonna make difference everything getting worse theres way out everyone says gonna last forever fuck off please literally feels like effort move body point things used effortless require enormous amounts energy do even build energy them normally dont normally cant nobody understands serious getting either try hard scream help nobody realizes bad cant much longer im  years worth tired tldr im  kinda wanna die ive lost energy live gonna get better life doesnt matter etc