long history mental illness suicidal thoughts that interests diagnosed bipolar ii disorder first hospitalised diagnosed borderline personality disorder traits top upon second hospitalisation also tried and obviously failed attempt twice today different though today learnt new way make attempt looking one everyday week year since mind racing things need funeral afterdeath arrangements keep hitting block what happens fail again anyone tried failed attempt knows end feeling like loser even little worse before case even hangover uni work submit times easy hide fact would made attempts life way seem like case scared found forced hospital third time row looking advice get away it know rules thought could vent here done good job isolating everyone reaching nuisance sick therapy please ask is share perhaps start swan song