ive honestly got idea anymoreit feels everyone fake feel like im backtalked annoying sometimes like hear brain speaking hey heyy people fake dont talk them far thing helps music thats kinda stopping work  really fucking good friends deserve them nobody needs suicidal fucktard cant help you pushes away use anyone barely anything useful life people say what loved ones well ive fucking abused really think makes difference except father whos actually fine family one id feel suffer see point hanging anymore ill never get better dont want feel guilty committing redflag hard get help really see im gonna get this feel like im gonna im even  want anyone feel bad me deserve regardless