hi hopelessthis kind long work dead end job car license cant get better job cant drive cant drive cant afford fix car im stuck bullshit cycle im always poor friend always probably always be ive bumming rides friend get college barely enough money pay gas family getting evicted shut gas ive showering boiling water pot using  oz wawa cup everything stained yellow cigarette tar smells like parents sexually abused younger cant forget it im tired tiresome dont know much longer live like this theres point anymore ive thinking killing long time ive thought would it where when id listening would wear things stopping burdening people extreme fear pain want rest