im trying really am cant fix myselffor past months ive noticed alarming increase depressed thoughts noticed would beat even harshly usual whenever crossed street would fantasize getting hit car getting shot robbing gone bad work started hitting gym focusing grades work within past  months ive lost nearly lbs maintained a average even got promotion work mood continued decline day spent thinking goddamn useless am cant kick consistent funk cant talk family ive managed slowly distance friends im basically alone this ive patient honestly cant keep faking way day day out