feel like kill eventuallyhi guess want share really see resulting anything hell bit ramble apologize write seems bit scattered grammar off dependent personality disorder guess say i guess im sure trust everything psych says seeing ive diagnosed autism undiagnosed once im  year old male leech mother scared failure hold job ive tried break lot tried really hard college depression sense empty made fall astray becoming marijuana dependent went hill though believe always would ended way now im lucky marijuana instead anything else ampxb really hate myself since young ive given made excuses everything ive wanted get good life ive fallen cycle years want anymore feel like ive lost faith everything every day feel like useless trash obsesses inane bullshit leech mother want anymore yet  believe never get this least want play devil may cry  go one things im excited anymore ampxb yeah thats