started typing notei plan anything really really see things ever getting good want be feel like prisoner life want me want go back time stop becoming now even better born another famiy one without narissist one real family love connection ive isolating years know social noone seems want around like way look like direction life going in envious many people even take care anymore want things much better see happening hate much im verge tears feel like noone truely understand extent much hate past aand life going now want someone else badly want forget life ever happened start over im fucked up alone pathetic want takes telling people want kill take seriously love help me