feeling intense need die cant even get bed complete redflag plani never hopeless right now failed redflag attempts past afraid die ending hospital seeing many doctors therapists past  years medications little nothing really bummer sucks work me though im sure helps others how anyway never felt alone purposeless right least past week feeling way exhausting im sleeping  hours end legit help hope purpose believe whole heartily becoming bitter second im learning meant die young peaked early wish could build physical strength go fulfill redflag plan though barely even make bathroom dont even know else lay thoughts anonymously reddit someone give kind energy source this jesus