even care throwaway right nowi feel like  year old looking attention feel stupid want make wall text everyone seems hate even though prone them never shut myself i weird issue get depressed late night okay day sudden im feel like trying get out cut once ive thoughts years years maybe   years actually year ago glad scar fear scars know im one like but love way looks fear scars sometimes scratch see little white lines feel bit pain used put lipstick wrist looked like cuts for   years actually cut would this sometimes use red sharpie time find razor knife look it telling myself just fucking it fear scars dont even want im happy like way looks want look see it scars fresh want scars case feeling one day passes someone sees think killing myself think im sucking world resources giving nothing back job little friends almost live  days cant come money homeless living mom crazy too leave even though knew afford it lost jobs depression everyone see it lost boyfriends friends too boyfriend now broke depression still love someone else tried prove getting better hide depression better fake smiles becoming easier believes again love wish bit different would okay demands sex lacks sympathy empathy reason im homeless today helped out nice it gave roommate talk me wish couldve friends least see crappy depressing pop song lost love  katy perry getting long it couple points back feel stupid pride smart feel belittled people almost daily know cook cant keep job im picky eater im shy oh shy social anxiety sit corner alone parties unless im drunkhigh know theyre thinking whats wrong her makes even antisocial fear people why help cook why initiate sex why clean something without someone asking to why know _____ why try food why cant make decision feel like curl shell hear things gets worse why quiet depressed now want mean boyfriend earlier clicked reddit link turned screamer gif screamed resting bed like usual yells what fuck fuck you for laughed said sorry laugh tried make light situation angry screaming thus started late night depression fine that like people mad me want make people happy thats want life okay so tldr  like cutting fear scars im crazy shy makes people like me think redflag fear death constantly feel stupid inadequate instead something it usually hide shell become worse ama haha kidding go ahead care edit going bed cuz cant find anyone talk to feel free say anything feel necessary goodnight sw