ive lost interest beingi survived long couple reasons one great network family friends love want see get this  know great mind could actually asset someone somewhere im almost done awful stem degree open many doors me excite me see change able walk around feet see things ive never seen able give back owe everything instead thing feel ennui care software used passion gone nothing look forward to cant even bring fake little enthusiasm parents call check me still plan sometimes think miserable average cant keep crying released would nice feel like ill ever happy again want send final message thanking everyone go sleep last time supposed get better isnt im still waiting something happen seems like lead happiness thus far nothing frigid disappointment protect hurt find assuming be need something someone know find it im running energy search it