life sucks work hard  days week lot anxieties since child never many friends growing maybe people thought weird shy timid due anxieties home hard growing up dad hardly home either working bar coming home late drunk mom used dependent still exhausting keep mind  f years old family bullied physically emotionally growing up calling kinds names could ever anything little friends hurt friends even family road almost impossible trust people feel unloved insignificant small every time always tried right thing good something always come way destroy it cannot even look forward anything anymore trust anything good happen gotten used things crumbling front me wake days angry fact woke want end life much coward so guess need finally bite bullet it folks wake tomorrow one would care