way describe depression hell tired time matter much sleep feel recharge even sleep good amount time take sleep medication know brain saying stay night friends trust anyone leads fearing future mean find partner love cannot trust anyone f anything age gets worse age feel like zombie watching world go by one understands family saying happiness choice well depression everyday brain feeling you suck world sucks nothing ever matter die already on cannot find anything makes happy gone like that want help help able change life lived change choices made life live make expect happening want rage yell experience depression