going end little boymy boy weeks old going surgery needs general anesthesia dont know survive it know fighter not does god hope does need years therapy training support may never childhood have hes perfect little angel reason needs going this would suffer torture eternity normal life deserves decided going end coward cannot handle this anything family need money cover future expenses taken large life insurance policy couple weeks ago upon learning sons diagnosis reason surgery doesnt go well prepared bag need end life wont spend anymore time alive something go wrong go well kiss mother one last time kill car accident involving car dont know killed intentionally deal thought love wife love boy cant live knowing hardship follow moral support ton around us need money give them life never fully appreciated held son arms since first moment saw wanted nothing world healthy happy taken us family thing help end pain pain death fade time son wont remember face pictures us exist never work day life neither mom ever again focused health happiness