something elsecontemplated redflag occasionally past  years so im  now whenever im good stage think ridiculous every time this however every time get bad stage unbearable sometimes think may psychological disorder something im kind person never see therapist even tell anyone this think also may slight obsession problem currently seems alcohol anything drugs substances even obsessed feelings makes sense anyways im going kill tonight even writing kinda helping sure even need advice fuck feel people find would entirely surprised completely hide feel like people see super easy going