another episode things went southim sure using acting anxiety depression way would talk since okay doesnt want talk me shes one reason still trying get makes everything better wherein pain doesnt really goes away gets easier carry whenever shes around even didnt know already suicidal before opened first time told someone felt comfortable telling her wanna talk bad dont want bother tell going right now might want talk cant think reason pity dont like thought it dont want draw attention friends really good hiding feel make happy comfort them fix problems whilst cannot myself feel like ending driving somewhere theres people harm hit tree sucks feeling various reasons past cannot explain words cannot see point purpose life tried ending last night sadly still woke ending writing this