pain rage absoulte griefim happy report struggles life finally see light everything bullied belittled told teachers telling get far life due speech impediment lost lover said blame thier death  abandoned betrayed people thought friends true friends forced move due circumstances way past communicate them parents divorce  feeling burden others deserved nothing finally mind set horrible care life lifes others toxic thoughts why kill self kill ones caused pain rage finally able come  years life  finally found passion life everything pursue it recently found determination try school fully reconnected family emotional distance while ive cut remaining toxic relationship distance form them grief  rage pain say truely move forward life  asked could change anything would past would said yes know would absolute shaped made want make sure one else would face go through want make comfort people times need said im leaving community wish struggling succumb demons conquered keep moving forward finally believe weak never know life could know hard promise get better people lost battle thier inner demons wish found thier peace