strange reason stay alivemaybe strange stay alive family member would thought id ever writing this lot mixed emotions im sure lot feel true father bad person think like ive inherited instability mum im losing touch her live im aware reason luxury depressed cooped up im supposed lose quietly lot family people know cant understand them cant understand almost everyone lot trouble relating making friends dropped school thirteen although missing days per year since nine know me feel like im getting worse block absorb all mess also issue communicating people like two modes angry sullen happy sometimes become negative inside feeling causes really something pets family feel lucky makes me cant really explain feel like im waiting outside reason cant end me going reason im waiting for