cant continue on overi posted think recently depression gotten much serious recently diagnosed bipolar disorder ive started getting treatment it ive really started decline mental health alarming rate mood swings much severe one hour im excited go home take walk outside hang friend play video game next im thinking ways kill myself reached peak today realized plan well several ways kill myself i could drink chemicals kitchen sink i could ask dad wanted target practice use shotgun blow brains i could overdose sleeping pills ive sleeping lot lately weekends could fun friends spent sleeping parents know problems think im lazy teenager comes grades best work studies cant focus anything ive lost interest many aspects life dont see continue im terrified hospitalization hospitalized everything end life im sick good fuckup cant get good grades cant even stay class anxiety falling far behind work cant take anymore want advice tried get help isnt helping me ive many different medications many make gain weight self esteem whatsoever im fatass bitch whos fat things enjoy like cosplay get bullied lot school try listen make fun potbelly want exercise im busy trying keep work grades hate wish could start end all ive also thought running away living woods want happy again intermittently want life back hate depression much going every day feeling like going motions life want live id rather live all