see point anymoremy life never good seems im  years old guy since  yo watch brother drug addiction break mothers heart year year od  times started selfharming  years old ages  years old literally  friendmy neighbor mom super controlling never let go kids houses everyone school bullied quite shy bad sports  years old met girl became bff also made friends  ppl  told girl loved her ended destroying friendship transfer different school started cutting way much suicidal lost best friend friends made graduated alone since starting college mom still super controlling struggle sexuality never dated much seem end bad girls except one meet  perfect wonderful died stroke  months started dating disease called avm still miss see parents regularly happy them live hour away recently started dating girl never felt connect someone cheated boss ended hospital it  months still cutting it think redflag constantly never seem able sleep life never seems get better hope immediately taken me like cant control like feeling like ghost robot im told never noticed never anyone share pain true empathy know truly feel feel alone sorry ranting keep thoughts head day