hate myself think always done extent multiple reasonsi got help half year ago already lot better time one guy group friends we close manages trigger you fucking worthless part every single time go drink something really know definitely purpose always says something puts spiral cannot get rest night entire next day thing happened last night went bed like  tired think anythingnow go monday night really think go really want see firends means  hours suffering afterwards know worth iti considered talking  think would understand  next day everyone know probably know told do want go friends scared