person m love doesnt love me im well school cant imagine good futureso last girlfriend told wasnt going date anyone rest college unless someone special came along well special person came along went broke boyfriend  years fell love me past two months since broke weve dated two times total around  weeks says cant get ex theres big things dont common said things consisted extroverted introverted religious not fact wants least  kids biggest fan kids feel like found someone really special hurts like hell doesnt feel even though claimed quite often thing hurts difference extrovertedintroverted like introverted im comfortable with im alone constantly want going friend group social ive thought past would girl want date since im anti social im senior large university cant help feel pathetic depressed never go basically  friends school gets worse though im senior im going fifth year major aerospace engineering work heavy cant find motivation anything even watch netflix sometimes feels like im close graduating cant see ever point im even sure would want job major rest life also barely communicate family all parents live side us person ever communicate mom havent talked two weeks dread anytime it talk her talk me dont give much detail depressing state dont want worry feel ashamed way live life feel lazy work smoking weed cope depression would feel embarrassed tell mom everything thats going me mom works physicians assistant basically evaluates prescribes drug addicts medicine living sees worst worst comes drug use love much want worry way years since seriously thought it redflag crossing mind good bit past days even get shit together school im sure would like career rest life im sure ill ever get courage social ill introverted whole life im sure ill ever find someone due depressive personality feel fucked want drop