hi i am 9m from india and i am currently going through a major crisis of my life my mother is a very abusive person she ha been physically abusing me since i wa i have burnt knife mark on my body which she called punishment she once threw me off the stair because i cracked two egg while bringing them home i have been subject to her verbal abuse since my birth i believe one of the incident which is still intact in my head is when i wa and she threw the knife on my face because i told her i do not want to go to some place with her i have been with her and growing up all along i always thought these thing were normal until i met new people i really get suicidal thought at night and i want to move out of here my father is separated and i have no idea where he is ita been more than a decade since i ve met or even talked to him all i know is that he sends money to my mother last year he did not send a single rupee for many month because if covid so i had to do some meagre job to earn something i had been doing that but now i want to complete my education and get a degree education here is very expensive i have graduated from my high school in the year 0 0 and had to take drop year because of pandemic and to basically stay alive now the situation is quite better at my home my dad is sending enough for u to eat when i talk about my study my mother straightforwardly decline and asks me work i really don t want to work i have to move out but i have zero backup and there are no part time job here in my country to move to another country is a very difficult task but it might change my life i would really need some advice and if you could just help me a bit it would be really great thank you for reading so far also i am sorry if i offended you by talking about my own mother like that i really do not know how to handle thing right now i am really sorry and thank you for reading i d appreciate if you can talk to me