m smoke weed way cope redflag depression gets worse night also use way fall asleep easier dad found weed last night told dissappointed said good way deal things said cannot force do trusted enough handed back me know feel that right now dad also troubles mom sadly little sister got stuck crossfire dad barely talking anyone like used to often gets angry shuts talk anyone probably mental illness sort complex person mom told go see psychiatrist refused is good relationship father might somethingi also recently got diagnosed mild depression redflag got prescribed lexapro taking week now mother person always talk cannot tell weed thing got caught school knew want explain dad everything knowing person is part also want open him sensitive person something slight trigger point shutting family smoking weed always barrier appreciating life jumping cliff know continue smoking not feel guilty l smoke know dad probably redflaged situation also pretty well known city know alot people help either cannot trust anyone all  real friends best friend girlfriend young know feeling way overwhelming want sleep day never wake up want kill way noone would sad about know people care me mom does dad does friends do suicidal nothing really even matter anymore feel like cannot take this overwhelming want someone read help understand better barely know anymore hope someone reads end