care people say anymoreits permanent solution temporary problem anything point show tv like it turn off sit keep watching it annoyance problem consumes life unknown length you missed would longer capacity care you experience x anymore deal before every reason im given live cant help find way refute live sheer hope dreams also source torture hard nowadays take advice regarding survival meaningfully hate cynical way see things anymore much life bogus everything do everything reason thought involved effects actions may future course things care directly affect us things would conscience act do matter put it fact life mean bad way give background point almost every option leads nothing good near future knows long run choose one results future one option where done need longer care would capacity care obviously would affect others again would physically incapable caring would zero effect me experience world entirely first person actions would affect conscience care things immediate access well enough prescription meds kill me well alcohol speed process make bit easier every morning day night every day every week every month fight urge go it find coming back time read diefex conflicts further wish could peace yet seeing comments left passed causes instincts feelings continue compel live im bipolar im always suicidal also means deal always getting hopes crashing down again much much much im sick it