week cut first time yearwhile suicidal thoughts think id go far actually it said feel like life spiraling control again idea do spend much time trying help everyone life comes time ask help even someone talk to turn away change subject start talking themselves person thought cared says busy constantly goes makes plans friends know selfish think thats wrong like would hard tell no probably whats fucking bad right now ive tried getting lost photography hobbies works temporarily ive even tried drinking again temporary still come home feel nothing much nothing fact picked knife breaking one year  month streak cut feel something anything anger thats another point weird simply feel nothing nothing all occasionally anger mostly directed myself ive always thought depression would go days end motivation general feeling gloom evolved still motivation instead feeling sad simply feel nothing whats weird feel though im making attention true would able come home snap right like nothing wrong life good family good friends freedom want yet still feel like shit constantly idea do yall think making up wrong place post im sorry sidebar rules specific replies posts