lost live age  editedi lost interest things used love debate varsity team mycollege secluded team longer communicate practice them highschool twotime national debate champion still known esteemed debafer college however lost confidence ego feel longer really good anyrhing feel even simplest tasks even getting bed reading studying seems hard do feel like failure deactivated social media facebook twitter instagram active social person isolating past two months playing games means coping mechanism  this feel life meaning wasting time games makes depressed cannot get cycle everything else besides gaming seems hard do honestly sad lonely background story father passed away  big part ofmy life best friend someone talk anything diagnosed clinical depression tbe age  back gaming coping mechanism got unhealthy coping mechanism looked towards friends gym got girlfriend age   felt lot better broke actually felt secure even alone recently got girlfriend loved much  unexpectedly broke really broke heart feels like reason live anymore feels even harder go gym make close ties friends little motivation so talk anyone think anyone would understand end pitying sermoning  would want burden negativity  even know maybe friends may probably want talk hesitant reach out  eflo ps thank anyone listens  done final edits 