while hungover and puking in the shower i would often congratulate myself for being witty at a party the previous night wasn t it so funny when i yelled who care about the planet anyway while i puked into the recycling people laughed for year before my first drink i hated myself for being socially inept i hate being shy when i drink i m not shy after eight year of heavy drinking i began to accept that what i wa feeling wa social anxiety and it wa not going away after another two year i began to accept that i had developed a new problem while trying to overcome anxiety another two year i finally quit drinking on my rd day sober i admitted to myself that i hate the person i am when i drink i ve spent 0 year hating the person i am when i m sober so where doe this leave me now day 0 of my sobriety wa friendsgiving sara made bourbon sweet potato that tasted too strongly of bourbon i always preferred rye whiskey i spent a lot of that night sucking a fruit flavored vape pen the vice i took up in lieu of drinking on our way home tolemy apologized for getting too drunk but i didn t mind he remembers better than i do all the time i got too drunk