want die badly im scared ill survive family see mei want leave die ill go somewhere better wont remember thing wont know family go through im fucked head deserve die fucked shit never tell family want commit redflag badly urges time jump balcony im sick liar im attention whore want die even life much mor fortunate everyone elses im bored staying here im fed everything want leave badly want  sure die cant be fucking hate myself deserve die shit ive done control want stop sick things tried hard canti give up like this im fucked fucking kill me please kill