breaks heart talking family members love meim genuinely grateful family know care me ive alone away family another country years got chance talk couple havent seen zoom call got emotional cried call really love people want die know dont want hide keep pretending like care career im invested world dont want wicked enough bring try make convince keep living im done ready die zoom call cousin called tried ask issues tell im suicidal really wish could tell family desire die would oblige im scared hurting living life daily hurting know im ungrateful im genuine say really want die nothing life thanks reading sharing thoughts help