uh heyso ive feeling really lately even tho dont much feel about wish wasnt alive googling things redflag found post reddit group saying theres tons supportive people decided make account vent here maybe help idk uh im  dont really much complain about life fine rn amazing parents amazing friends amazing girlfriend feel depressed anxious dont know do wish wasnt alive rn think need meds changed maybe upped seasonal depression setting in girlfriend coming see tomorrow nd time see eachother irl first time went see thats asked gf im scared seeing again realized im ugly gross transgender hates im scared idk dont even know gonna coming town dont think knows fucked am every day past weeks ive thinking would happen died rn would it want pain stop wish could sleep weeks everything okay again dont know else im supposed say point feel empty nothing makes happy anymore wish wasnt alive