m depression redflag issues  years old put paxil  years quiti feel good time still panick attacks occasion hard time getting necessary motivation complete tasks i started  new projects completed none them get new passions every months quit fast camebecause arythmia problems quit coffee  years ago i heavy drinkerevery allow cup coffeeright drinking it feel soooooo good mind clear motivated everything calling friends hang out starting new programming projects completing existing ones playing sports reading book cleaning ac unit etc suddenly day wonderful want buzz endi feel like people state mind day longtherapy bring state feel like biologicali depressed per se would feel much better could state timeis like drug effect think could reach state mind long period time either taking prescription drugs mean would like feel like time