redflag helplines best worstless  weeks ago ready die wrote note makeup nicely chose outfit last ready willing able im going put method anyway way came it full adrenaline hesitated knew hesitation could leave injured instead dead called helpline desperate originally give bravery see redflag through let help me told location police turned quickly taken ambulance locked  days released week ago funnily enough problems disappeared today started considering attempting again called helpline all saved life last time time told woman phone want overdose says fake till make it need find something really love found purpose yet could help someone else instead thinking yourself thought want kill self tell thought leave considered barista course could go work waitress at point wtf silent talking would something look forward to right lady come fucking career advice idea one day becoming waitress going make kill right now want waitress think type job would make want live fact ready die talking future career going make even determined asks so going rest day today i told you kill myself but anything ive said helpful all i know sounding upset offended havent said anything thats made feel better this you audible gasp but makes feel like im good job shaky voice like going cry seriously want comfort right now starts breathing weird like going hyperventilate want deal shit hung up rude person woman really right person working redflag helpline going get butthurt random life advice going talk suicidal person ledge fair made angry enough distracted redflag now