ill never love myselfi want live anymore many issues cant seem solve problems suicidal thoughts coming back droves amp really want kill lately become smarter better version cant believe myself ever find right partner love myself want suffer anymore work amp suffer william love amp gave  me every time think ive cried tears return think you know anymore hate free time mysel introspect much cant sleep night anxiety man ever love respect really am always pretty face mediocre brain work hard exactly need something numb madness