deal pastfiguring fuck got point girl cheated lot didnt realise  end blew fuse called  got charged harassment subsequently dropped charges mainly trumped charges together four years lived  countries memories relationship included hiding existence online indication relationships existence introduced subset friends pretend boyfriend holiday philippines putting using facebook obviously keep contact men especially first love towards end anxiety crippling me told stand back another guy making advances face going visit two weeks eastern europe little her arrested  two weeks mental ward suicidal ideation three weeks recovery centre depression second masters almost ruined several months on elegant intelligent woman walks life flaky begin speeds dating process basically moves apartment two weeks later introduces world havent known before obsessed sex also beautiful dont know whats happening sex takes new meaning me problems arise talks ex husband still gunning her apparently seems family okay speaks phone chinese chinese one point say would like marry someday suggest marry three months try say soon know much you takes insult move forward takes offense rejecting mothers concern regarding integrity goes week lebanon gets good im apologetic several months speaks intention move back hong kong trouble ex there follow say move her approves things take nasty turn remarries ex husband she told millionaire visiting her spends hardly time me apologises still continues see me agree move shenzhen teach english move me j turn up book hotel shenzhen second night am wakes suddenly starts reminiscing insult mother challenging integrity goes hong kong shortly tells rented place hong kong still sees shenzhen still sex im working apartment there says move well point im insecure depressed sleep escort also develop nasty habit asking random people marry me im much love chinese girl move forward husband moves apartment think hers see hotels hong kong works husbands company well line things get even unstable finds misdeads run flowers sort thing make up goes on summer ideas forming im planning move hong kong accompanies interviews get one also gets pregnant tells mine thing is im stressed beyond belief point make another mistake gone another date shenzhen vengeful night sex chinese banker beginning relationship told sex great towards end disposition changed hold erection getting ill china made snide remark performance time around time im put back burner eventually contacts says wants raise child husband say seems contrived planned takes offense knowing arrested ex says arrested leave country week later says cruel sorry didnt mean it thing is left country shortly blocked contact im korea dont know true isnt dont know anything child dont know true know im suicidal know im probably even beta male know im best man planet story taken five years life lot could written would long also still feel incredibly attached woman intelligence far outstripped own  degrees age  two law also claimed least several hundred partners ive spent last three weeks absolutely nothing hiding feel like trauma probably exaggeration sorry spelling grammar mistakes dont particularly like reading written