im surviving day life want pain endim  living pakistan parents one brother past months mixed emotions ive realized place fool like here used hang friends drink party rarely see them basically make everyone uncomfortable around me social skills disaster im major business administration ive real contacts used act like ive everything figured out bitter reality know shit want die father dies cant take responsibility family im socially isolated uptill ive passed exams using unfair means learned anything parents think ill achieve something im failure suicidal thoughts mind  dreadful parents today blast occured city watching tv wishing blast site died them want sleep never wake up sometimes im afraid myself sorry bad vocabulary