im  wrote redflag note im going stab death tonight im scared please help memy parents mormon im tired told im going hell gay everything wrong im tired never happy actually happy jsut faking it im tired hiding feelings scared mental hospitals ive already twice attempt hated anything im tired parents arguing fighting dad absolute asshole me im tired sister making fun making feel like human garbage dont want die want pain end death way jsut told crush liked him bi actually chance him declined it im tired feeling like trash uselesss piece garbage crying self sleep every night im weak cant even push up single pushup im embarrassment family especially dad ive breathing heavily last  hours knife stomach jsut want push bad im scared please help me know ones going read want spill feelings die