thinking killing straight consecutive days nightsive mentally ill since way young girl ive feeling empty want end pain always keep smilling behind agonizing pain inside wont stop ive feeling depressed long time failed relationships family failed grades school think good enough  say life beautiful people like us  were different page ive keeping redflag thoughts people makes feel im alone whenever ill tell depressed wont believe listen either im searching painless way die im alive outside im already dead inside anyone loved one depressed make feel special loved depression kills