short story lousy lifei know writings gonna look bit unrefined goddamnit almost car crash last night  excuse writings bit edgy moment begin saying around  troubles started really want reveal much days suffice say average pokemonplaying doormat went  different schools throughout high school recall correctly cant say remember much details  tell remember namecalling shoves gropes spitting sheer worthlessness experienced since then got point practically ditch schools age  eventually get ged soon brief stint jesuschristridesaraptortype homeschooling program ged however diminish desire go find school records perform jayandsilentbob road trip fuckers fact remains despite much may want perform said trip time resources it wished over id finally able catch fucking break no life kept doling punishment take current job instance right im stuck giving night school classes types motherfuckers made life living hell course people might ask me wouldnt make contemptuous judgemental were maybe hard worry im even able carry conversation lack communication skills unfortunately idiosyncrasy makes life difficult take one instance remember vast amounts data handful names also process data hours end cant stop thinking try sleep get twitches tics tremors feel numb every time see sort gathering top off brain cease remind nearly every gaffe altercation mistake ive experienced last  decades biggest source regret though comes inclination following instructions errands wanted do went college told go go parties get action spent time room studied  consecutive years  like good little boy   im supposedly free cant even choose something simple juice flavor again like theres many choices town people talk here places go theres couple bars downtown district life support shopping center walmart crap aggravated fact cant even move  money so ive gone thru usual recommendations hear around reddit too go psychiatrist ive gone thru couple psychologists take antidepressants  even know taking makes difference also tried going gym six months even became tedious routine try complain though time people would point pettyness problems times happen get useless everything alright bullshit did however manage get something ordeals know life is essence pain know whether want stick around much longer