think life hates meim  years old every day battle losing temper feel like want rage destroy everything want let everything out sadness anger want kill myself care anymore people alive torture life cant good happy people want harm me im different shit part world apologize advance bad english ive bullied since rd grade even teachers disliked blamed things parents may cared me feel like im part family rd grade got worse worse th grade tried kill myself first redflag attempt now regret it regret failure dead now suffer people annoyed presence time parents totally different towards in negative way following year got accused stealing money normal school day pe got back locker room one classmates said missed wallet five minutes later noticed another wallet pocket mine gave said somebody put pocket still know that remember standing hallway whole class around me ready beat yell me apart that also things instance messaging kill myself hating hobbys playing videogames watching anime coding etc really important th grade brother also went school im in classmates hated me soon began cooperate friend it turned never wanted friend whole situation got worse everyday eventually stopped stopped soon got first girlfriend life changed negative way cried every night her really toxic friends time also deceived me still picture head playing minecraft them server console running background due problems wanted solve saw friends girlfriend sending private messages insulting me things like im sorry boyfriend know read private messages appear console im trying fix something cant anything it never broke up thought everything fault days birthday broke nobody talk to weeks passed made friends internet today really contact anymore second relationship started got much worse looked like wanted hurt me started depression everything changed life got dark girlfriend tortured me emotionally wouldve done everything her even like that told flirted friend mine afterwards said im worst boyfriend said felt little uncomfortable talking like lovers girlfriend said you right tell ex do first time broke up yes also second third time although broke third time finally friends joking luck life still say normal im shit die want escape life want kill soon end all even know you thank reading story really appreciate lt least strangers internet hate