im one disaster away losing sanityover past year felt live continue slip away drive career make world constantly beat gone even spend time trying fun anymore think world one day automated husband means education survive worry bad house bought debate go bankrupt survive allowed place live happens lose job much means get another lucky five years trying low pay ones gone automation learn survive street want try survive permanent damage feet cant afford fix ongoing list medical problems wish one things would hurry end naturally  years old feel best life offer already shown me feel never meant make world mental illnesses starting show one day cost job place world someone like cant make own reason ended things trying hold worst comes next time car breaks money house floods anything something happens think deal everything life wants throw me end anything worth fighting even did bother want live see world turn into know done want anymore world seem want take naturally want see make 