im waiting one decently sized reason it beat mentality wontmy life consists staring facebook raging videogames smoking weed take mind everything every aspect life use reasoning die school job motivation get job death simple flawless solution first place easy way out family miss course friends would shocked fact time feel happy even though appear happy there personal almost never why firstly explain question one must understand idea way must understand idea watch understand movie inception seed unbeatable logic seed logic cause flaw thinking fact family members love family choice back up different sperm reach egg sperm obviously family would love whoever person would end being point is purpose granted person personal makes difference me personal would love choice therefore would given purpose another person and technically anyone could say dont kill yourself reason reason reasoning like that almost matter from irrelevant fact die person previously tried persuade would affected person friend would affected emotionally small amount time move life effects moderately affecting yearning kill myself  hate way look hate personality hate way respond human interaction hate person altogether soon high school ended last june  friends either stopped talking me began act like asshole directly indirectly me  serotonin imbalance feel happy feel happy feel hungry empty feeling similar person feels need something necessary life like water social interaction feel sad feel sad mean deeply distraught person could ever feel  could leave extremely impactful messages world people interact with people know me  due  existence burden always possible way hell permanent god smart enough create existence if god exists fucking stupid enough punish lifeform limited intellect a human eternity wanted live able lead christian life first place thinking spirituality necessary contemplating redflag  previously described thinking highschool something must know see this first girlfriend month two ago lost virginity her became incredibly attached dumped fear commiting personal emotionally let experience feeling anticipation something never experienced life broke lost purely blissful feeling anticipation life literally unable eat week body want live without anticipation live sense purpose almost vomited every attempt gave eating bites meal appetite improved agreed would continue talking even though broken up that stopped talking almost entirely appetite decaying month almost bad eating last month nineteen year old male weigh  pounds  girls emotional problems came two different boyfriends past first emotionally abusive raped her found out caused develop extreme complex cope boys sex with like me second emotionally abusive refuses emotionally commit another man something give time happened ago add this family fucked possible incredible incomprehensible stress sum up happy together also frustrates allow us happen would solution us  people scarred girl undeserving life fucking terrible makes realize basis negative thinking ever depressed life human nature cause every bad action life obviously thinking extreme get makes want kill fucking badly one tries overcome it fucking disgusting cause every problem earth one realizes that do one made effort conquer human nature conquering every petty matter petty earth want human it abomination existence yeah ill come back tomorrow hopes finding comments cliche stupid meaningless good luck helping one