ill never get thisim lazy sack shit fix life ever simply lack discipline drive so whatever good things ill halfassedly worm happening deserved  im simply incapable trying best cant even take fucking meds consistently try get therapy bothersome me want live better yet want fucking try live better worst part is im much coward even go deed  im dooming life incredible mediocrity ill simply rot away without accomplishing thing thing im good english language im russian something ive learned still drive accomplish things get better something long gone im honestly incredibly pathetic even deserve redflag many people better understandable grave reasons it disgusting apathetic mediocrity