need help months ago girl love left me since everything slowly deteriorated life pieces nothing keep motivated reason wake morning friends distant return calls messages nobody ever need them im outcast fairly popular person many friends hang school myself one with life beginning feel like chore never finish mind constantly drifts thoughts death redflag  different occasions ive planned redflag almost carried through however stopped due fear failure feel invisible almost one would even notice committed redflag maybe it people would finally understand hard is would see much pain caused theyd beg another chance see me chance never willing take around need reason keep going something it gets better youll meet new people enough stop me want know worth put knife ever try again want hope maybe ill get old again