hello world im really bad nightim worried tonight impulse decisions something stupid tonight ive really unfulfilled life while im letting relationship decay im unchallenged work go work come home sit go bed again going really long time gotten significantly worse last year dont socialize outside work ive completely lost sex drive gained lbs work even wants promote id make decision wanted do motivation want sit cry feel really empty disconnected people dont even know form close relationship even though ive dating someone  years now cant bring talk thing important dont even see point to last time best friend also  years ago died suddenly heroin overdose didnt know using again want disappear im tired tired