ive dealing lot problem past years childhood present yearsever since little father died  years old elementary school ive bullied lot speech disorder weight ive repeat kindergarten speech disorder failed rd grade middle school ive developed anxiety never talk anyone speech disorder ive never friends high school year great stepfather died  thats feeling depressed sleep thinking much shit ive through im  done anything life anxiety depression cant get relationship maybe im interested attractive trust people since want use me ive throughout life keep thinking negative stupid thoughts like kill myself run away people keep telling think positive shit work though like putting happy mask forgot it