want stopi want die want exist redflag really means end im sad depressed happy im nothing unfulfilled desires expectations desires expectations already done everything want life nothing left offer me want nothingness im constant pain physically completely hollow emotionally really nothing me fall somewhere unsatisfactory mediocre everything cant care meaningless me life wonderful thing want it dont never asked here ive never wanted here im empty alone nothing offer world im wasting resources could better used someone wants here continuation seems selfish greedy cant see continuing already fighting  years would normal life span really want kill myself know another way cease myself wisp background serve purpose want allowed stop here tried killing  years ago age  thought another decade half everything seems horrid im prisoner existence want out fought urge every day years tired constant weight life becoming much willpower handle want deserved rest