pity doesnt helpim admitted hospital currently work though obviously much longer lady orientation said heart goes redflag ideation patients yall people dont think life worth living hurts heart internal reaction person without realizing b one said life worth living either could literally life would still want die basically point pity helpful less you aside really sucks true even though specific life extremely difficult hard deal cannot imagine possible life would okay apart maybe inheriting couple million dollars not going happen time soon cant think job would okay way life would okay meltdown work tuesday severe anxiety sent home two weeks sort out home week improvement tried find doctor said least week half first app therapist two weeks see psychiatrist dont regular doctor local doctors charge  new patient fee top appointment itself husband says take commit tomorrow hospital triggers anxiety good hospital everything suck knowing backside pitying doesnt help makes think life special compared mine maybe us tired suffering resources help ease that