ive started think logically calmly plotting out scares mei thought this thought everything getting better would ok instead feels like im falling behind again like life trucking along dragging along behind it cant get footing every time trip im tired fighting feels like losing battle drive home night think easy would turn front tractor trailer people would miss me yes least life insurance would help pay debt girl love would better off use money bills anymore restricted apartments bad credit score could ramble on cant bring to im tired eyes hurt know could much worse predicament still change feeling wanting end good night thank whoever reads this