dont want live anymorewell im  year old friends kinda bullied school dont social group im skinny popular smart dude even tho dont express get grade need go on dont study home dont give fuck anymore school too home google random stuff biology physics technical one learn programming time year last one ultrahappy it realized teachers dont like im good programming know it give lower grade didnt exactly said more makes sense theyre humans think prefer school home dad old retard hate general going deeper later theres mom non educated woman doesnt shit life even work cleans shitty apartment plays random facebook games really high volume tv make deaf reason hate her goes im anything says waste time time used play dota  day getting good it realized really waste time would able go pro team wasnt bunch retards think looking cool winning team game mostly play instruments keyboard electric guitar nylon guitar steel guitar two harmonicas thats keep going even tho cant live music shitty nation known brazil look brazilian funk popular shit like anitta theres really high quality modern brazilian music sad anyway playing instruments liking synthwave classical metal jazz another reason bullied here right ignoring fact people clap hands way random percussion instrument modern popular funks use using two notes actually one fuck cares music theory percussion instruments right anyway lets talk dad doesnt understand shit music thinks does puts random trash like paramore monsters men worse trash like modern popular  chords pop music also sound car trash comes one side doesnt realize it get school school ears hurt idk tahts reason behind it im going deaf somehow music still allows happy use phone shitty headphones hear music like am theres noizes cant day mom alive yeah told that respectful hateful manners ignore lately things worse started playing keyboard  months ago and  octave keyboard weighted keys yamaha psr e trash opinion told dad hey dad buy digital piano bought fucking keyboard clearly right even explained ignored anyway lately ive getting really complex stuff rondo alla turca sonata  c major k fugue minor getting beethoven now saddest part cant play stuff like chopin even fugue minor  keyboard organ piece change octaves keyboard function playing makes way harder also instruments also trash cares son playing stuff people playing  years piano  months playing shitty keyboard also self teaching instruments anyway going back mom doesnt allow fucking close rooms door keeps making random noises  tv anything looks like purpose tell thinks fault retarded something music way out every time go play get depressed shit also dad couldnt buy fucking alfred books well tempered clavier bach play need use random scores  ears going shit play also tried composing im trash fuck cares also tried make game last year retro rpg also trash thing is want die painless easy way dont realy go home bunch ignorant people walking around streets want die even theres really way redflag think so would like either help redflag help redflag also feel like saying computer randomly crashes blue screen every day random moment also important factor also dont enjoy simple stuff like jerking eating even tho use region brain hearing music uses need help think thats also english trash didnt formal english education jsut learned watching videos reading random shit etc sorry sucks