cant handle anymoreever since raped life went downhill everyone way shouldve handled report it tell whole school ect instead making sure okay trying make statement wanted alone cope withdrew dropped school met someone time convinced end life then unfortunately cheated ex gave std needed surgery for since ive thought obsesses old sex tapes goes friends try get go talk girls even though im guys night friend tried hire hookers feel fucking worthless hate people high expectations me heck high goals aimed let crash burn going doctor wanted work chronically ill patients works towards better pain management hopefully cure some perfect boyfriend happened dumped trauma much hold onto anything cant pretend anymore things get better years pills therapy lost everything cared fault stronger really miss ex im glad saved trouble watching turn shell person really dont see hope anymore guess days go one day finally it