moved state boyfriend seriously strugglingi uninsured meds had job benefits lined situation control get job basically got discriminated preemployment physical furiousonly got license state get marketplace plan probably cover treatment need stopped  different meds without guidance doctor choicethe job ended taking scheduling every weekend saturday sunday shared days boyfriend friends spend days alonei used hobbies perfectly content alone enjoy anything enough worth effort everything hardi spend lonely days mindlessly scrolling social media bored death want anything nothing appealingi hate working hate days alone hate everything excited new start life kicking face repeatedly angry defeated moved struggling