confession sortsfirst id like emphasise redflag note dying time soon despite wish would ive lost hope recently redemption hitting kind hard something horrible  fucking repulsive  irredeemable around fourteen made many mistakes surrounding titular coming age type experience repressed  hid away recesses mind come night me thoughts ringing ears reason im writing years ago crime id wish nothing death torture upon perpetrator someone else god wish someone else that kills inside know reality freak nightmare im monster horrific so words  try try earn penance give peace  using life protect people give peace need take life take life id wish sick individual position wish hell violence nothing afterlife  hope hot horrible really do maybe small confession really sins give amount temporary peace im sure wont much manipulated manipulated embarrassed hope remember do god knows pain live  really hope caused damage due actions retard child yr old me fuck im taking chance get it