redflag depression mental illness much life able get proper treatment local mental health clinic ways helped immensely able get pure obsessional ocd control longer bad symptoms still definitely sometimes flares bit faded background noise part ways mental health significantly deteriorated mids completely lost self confidence gained time college found tribe got better art skills could finish college drop due mental illness adhd trying get freelance artist mostly living disability though able earn anything close living wage would attempted without financial aid government would living parents parents supported me god knows would be would probably homeless know happened college friend mine parents support artistic pursuits quit school would kicked out mental health bad shape several years now since  completely incapacitated comorbid disorders dealing with severe social redflag agoraphobia body dysmorphic disorder well adhd autism spectrum disorder also credflag parents drive everywhere driving terrifies cannot even call taxi social redflag credflag  makes terrified space people know quick exit  sitting taxi driver would mean would unable escape easily turned mean  know highly unlikely still scares me friend one experience mean taxi driver late teensso crazy idea trying drawingart video blog seems lucrative tubers earn passive income think would great instead relying government financial aid want think would good it actually seems impossible even though decent drawing skills people skills socially handicapped mental disorders one main reasons draw hard time talking people drawing helps make feel comfortable around them idea would ever feel comfortable enough talk camera scare people away want insincere fake pretend talkative bubbly am actually thought voice changer thing captions talking scares hell me scared voice name recognized bullies stalked harassed real life online may try one video perhaps even post get feel work bother multiskilled vocation art vlogger also good people skills well videomaking skills hate idea video blogging hope earning money hating people like youtuber genuinely friendly acknowledges followers that would want put people unfriendliness social redflag responding comments messages turning comments really know myself cut existence feel powerless mess know prevent life going sht