im tired paini live life people would envy dont work go school anymore sit around home nothing day problem mind longer feel happiness pain things ive through everyday wake flashbacks horrible things happened me sexual abuse bullied abusive parents brain loves take back make feel everything again like kind sadist know reminding world horrible place need go soon ive tried pills therapy nothing really cures pain knowing hurt living great lives sense power me love best friend cant enjoy time anymore due misery im going feel bad hurt him know needs done end suffering im cleaning little happens planning way wont fail year over thank you