recurring suicidal ideationi pissed best friendroommate today moved new apartment lost dogs muzzle use keep calmer outside little upset started tell responsibility pack etc etc shes right course fit childish rage overturned box though contained doggy clothing soft things breakable objects held dear bottom box broke two them upset started cry feel horrible did normally stuff like happens start almost fantasize downing bottle xanax washing alcohol hate childish be hate mentally damaged get caught loop make others feel awful killed selfgtim stupid even thinking waygtmaybe deserve die foolishgti make others feel awful killed myselfgtetc etc part feels like maybe trying make suicidal thoughts focusing best friend feels im one lost something cherished im one wants kill myself