please read id appreciate adviceive suicidal thoughts usually every night whilst im trying sleep always around time ignored ages tried getting life like nothing happening sold diazepam last night bari know theyre good bought pack left pub absolutely wasted barely able walk straight got home tried sleep thoughts again felt like worse time turned complete mess maybe drunk lost head opinion reason all anyway seen diazepams said fuck it thought fuck drunk believed would fall asleep never wake up didnt want suffer wanted go point quitely happily took around  guess led sofa waited  minutes goes head started spinning because alcohol lasted  minute projectile vomiting bath assuming tablets came im alive question though that sign ignore thoughts get every night like sick sign say dont try boy question tell dad last night long ago spoke thought  depth told need break away town said pay gets bad got bad dad good telling someone bad like wont think bad is advice getting understand if tell whats happened wont tell mum break heart