failing lifeive suffering severe depression social anxiety past five years never gotten better turned video games escape made things exponentially worse transferred college semester told going different fell back old habits first started getting social anxiety again hard meet talk people depression started fading in concentrate work sit hours study get stuff done cant focus drift away end nothing fade right back suicidal ideation feeling hopeless cant move life get shit done im failing courses two three beyond fixable point im pretty much guaranteed f sit around nothing time laying bed jack shit turning browsing web playing games ive hit brick wall think get slump meant go way im pissing away parents money ideation plan im done cant take pain anymore