go social anxiety depression end ok iill try make long me im  year old boy ive living social anxiety depression now ive one boyfriend short time ago ive never girlfriend ive never kissed spend almost time inside masturbate much trying stop one friend were close anything school when go school really speak much almost cant connect normal kids whenever go school feel place think lot dying still school life wish could normal normal person normal life normal things person age adults enjoyed time high school dont wish could cant change  least completely realistically speaking want couple close friends could call family boyfriend girlfriend there maybe time lol kids hell think id like kids  think im asking much many people this seems like complete fantasy could see future saw that could carry life now seems like fantasy it so keep living kill myself least yet went im going ended friends family it get there it since cant kill myself id like little bit hope hold onto mind living people cared me