hate life but im scared diefirst off im coming web search others like and honestly im jealous people feeling thoughts support received went support websites  glorified i mental illnesseshave fucked life you competition another people made fun another completely empty im running options im tired im also sick nobody answerwanting talk it im always referred call helpline ignored wanna call helpline ive tried all meds therapy psychoanalysis tried go force around people tried join clubs take hobbies tried ive met nothing rejection hate complete ignorance feel insignificant worthless want  friend  person go get coffee beer with  person callwill call talkcomplain days such one ive spent life helpful am wanting die chickenshit it could easily grab one multitude carving knives behind open veincut throat im terrified pain could easily go medicine cabinet take pills there cant im terrified death put grief family im stuck here state complete isolation sadness wanna cry cry time wanna beat shit outta hopefully give brain damage dontcant remember this im angry world im sad im attention seeking pity party want someone care everyone problems selfish be maybe even post this like anyone care either way fuck