worth livinggood evening everyone im sure correct place post oh well  here suicidal thoughts since age  never actually anything im writing despite thinking killing near future like living find boring nothing personally enjoy seeing people around depresses even more luckily enough blessed good family never notable problems trouble school trauma social problems despite thoughts while never told anyone apart teacher familiar with want hurt ones love me think therapy kind would help though tried yet point need live like anything do done at least thought about hate certain things like school even stuff necessarily hate like spending times loved ones boring pointless grow older feel trouble keep coming financially independent all want live pay taxes nothing truly live for know normal im oversensitive start thinking future end crying want live want end life front others always put fake smile invent random garbage goto job life would people look weirdly move on im tired that recently thoughts become stronger spending evenings roof idea yet impossibility im weak anyone situation ive tried setting goals stuff nothing gives live please give ideas otherwise would also appreciate ideas regarding painless ways go future thank taking time