feeling guiltymy parents middle divorce theyve separated long time live mom ptsd living dad whole personality changed it stressed feel like telling want die for millionth time would make feel worse would much easier leave silently dad good health insurance golly sure wish last fee hed ever pay cremation burial ive financial emotional drain since baby sit night fighting myself should go get pills rope eventually pass thinking it get yelled everything sit there screaming silently cant see much im hurting whenever say much pain im alive get brushed told you could worse wish worse could justify feeling way live constantly disassociating yelled at misunderstood cant deal anymore everything ready thats left willpower sorry long post