fucked upi cant stop thinking it fantasy oh sweet would be feel pain could finally leave good game everyone loved ones would sad yes would gone free ashamed admit it shockwave part appeal lie always been solves nothing catharsis resolution producing bloated corpse proved one wrong anything affirms detractors suspicions handle it married someone perhaps have loves madly cannot find energy reciprocate love another hardly matters now chose wife detriment really wanted unable selfish selfishness really matters live contempt condition myself hope perhaps next  years much fuck last  were