life mineive thinking week kind truth apparent long time parents made believe possession still prisoner home im starting accept this keep insane reality forever harassed daily existing stalked dare go outside deal creepy obsessiveness fake love attention deal baby sister getting hurt time like im reliving childhood trauma need born came world anyway know leave cant physically hurt fear swallowing pills frustratingbecause live lot pain would nice easy way out exist one really made feel like right suffered try reach like people make feel like im crazy believing im suffering sister broke heart even acknowledge done trusted need talk person thought was loyalty sociopath mother strong feel disgusted shared much information depression therapy helped open eyes horrible truths strong enough know nobody side like deceived believe much support family reality destroying me keeping isolated everything could good me used comfort lotbut now recognise face feel like im existing body reali done things like starve cant even feel pain that feel bit sick whenever realise much food im eatibg much weight im losingi horrible health problems underweight decade could go really upsetting write out feel emotions anymore cried lot now things cant say real world still hope one day express people care hope destroying cant let go know im alone im living contradictions