hitting rough patch scared recurring thoughtsi s going divorce kind rough childhood think made dumb decision getting married shortcut independence parents underemployed finishing degree online scared lease month half get job im interviewing tuesday basically homeless even get job provides housing id find place live two months ive lived car short stretches before never long feel like shit decent or even steady job kind useful work experience social anxiety affecting job performance current position honestly think would make huge impact lost mo keep invasive thoughts redflag want die exactly feel like ive fucked chances ive had studied wrong thing school finish projects started younger im getting marriage wrong too attempt middle school makes nervous feel much way like want it beats hell im now feel like im broken basic functions keep dwelling thoughts exhausting could really use right advice ways preoccupy mind worst thoughts pass block anxietyguilt things like homework looking new job just like encouragement especially anyone whos divorce right gate even typing load mind sorry rambliness thank reading far