ive diagnosed autism going kill myselfdue trauma mental health issues began experience fourteen never able develop life management personal skills im twentyfour now diagnosed autism despite abusive mother dysfunctional family quite functional overall happy life began fall part many friends got learners driving license summer job fourteen things okay though guess throughout childhood adolescence hold autistic traits repressing emotions this along stress dealing family blew face fifteen developed severe case bulimia quickly took life basically l did everyday years binge eat purge spent thousands thousands dollars money parents money lost friends motivation life hopes people knew me used friends talked amongst themselves saying life ruined one point butt peoples jokes would say hey least life fucked flamingtrashmonsters lost ability much anything all eighteen constantly drunk bingeing purging kicked familys home lived alone barren apartment filled food wrappers empty bottles sucks realized autistic child could avoided demands recovery far great manage diagnosis autism basically tells need get better fuck ton work even think possible going kill myself cannot live like longer im much better eighteen im school function certain level meet demands life still feel act fucked up fucked up im fucked ever going go away get better life pain moments happiness thrown times