lack hope motivation prior lockdown worstenedhello im writing gain sort motivation hope future im  year old secondary school student ireland currently final year leaving cert acts access route college based individual performance longest time struggled mental health major anxiety depression redflag ideation lower general motivations immensely coupled add makes harder stay focused topic gain focus first place although taking medication these sertraline mg ritalin mg school always difficult however supports supplied seem quite impossible country lockdown schools closed im left home little motivation anything mother understands mental health challenges however insists blaming academic shortcomings lack motivation such believes right angry this said anger aimed me source problem seems me online classes school whatever reason theres little direct pressure teachers use google classroom thats it know get motivated much anything thoughts escape redflag getting stronger stronger feel alone all sucks want feel like anymore if incoherent im sorry hard put sort thing words me