triedi may hardest life definitely never easy basically born life would lead depression endured enough parents physically emotionally abusive molested raped people family grew hit cheated multiple partners started coping negatively got trouble public owned began repair myself went therapy educated maladaptive coping went back graduate school graduated public let go demon back never stop haunting me one genuine connection alone work put recover past traumas window feel depression coming midnight train nowhere depressed   years cannot leave go again deserve this give up