called  best friend suicidal know shell ever trust again lived best friend almost  years complicated relationship romantic times others one thing sure care lot other battling depression essentially whole life mostly due things happened childhood much control over recently though difficult events made enduring pain day day lot unbearable day work getting text messages really scary talking able do anymore wanting a way pain think ive ever affriad someone must called  times  minute none calls picked up could think could verify safety  accross town would answer calls panicked first thing could think keep safe get apartment fast enough maybe emergency services could dialled  called cab home cried got there walked door two police officers standing next her we chat one said your friend agreed go voluntarily hospital honest hospital staff told seriously worried her would let leave father picked up important story understand friend traumatic experiences police past situations anything wrong knew feel guilty panniced stop think would feeling end needed safe friend feels betrayed says really knew would left alone knew calling  would make everything worse feel like known better way help feel incredibly guilty says hate me never trust again wanting go behind back seemed insignificant face potentially loosing her feels like worst thing ive ever done