im one lucky ones deserve iti grew broken home violence drugs alcohol swore everything right best person be failed last year allowed alcohol take peaked shit faced sex wife blacked out next thing remember hands around thoat coming front room cowering sobbing knew done knew didnt deserve live calmed layed promising wouldnt ever touch again took alcohol pills bathroom locked door best came hospital bed side told leave told didnt deserve anything done told ok dont want refused ive done best get better got worse ive stopped drinking since day havent much raised finger direction gotten harder ive tried giving doesnt want to idk anymore