cant fight anymoreim  suicidal almost  months need get chest cant share anyone know remember depressed since childhood always felt sadness weighing down make sense ignored waited go away past months gotten much handle fighting last year march break exploded years buried sadness came pouring know anymore taking anti depressants since  months really helped much weird obsession think anyone would understand let try explain relationship ex lasted  years time depression got worse before reason push myself him know stupid naive sounds thats kept going knew could make day would end day fought got better time but last year left another girl life went downhill sadness suppressed many years came bursting take anymore got relationships nothing felt anymore uncertainty always kept haunting me person leaves ill go again pathetic that need love function normally know ill get better find right person worth anymore late now final exams  days away depression able study properly ill probably fail even manage pass good college accept student low grades much pressure romantic relationship like basic necessity makes pathetic human being low self esteem sense self want fade away getting harder get bed morning usually sleep till afternoon taking shower seems like much effort shower days imagined life would turn be want fade away forgotten