life feels pointlessi get life offer me always terrible everything school work relationships etc honestly feel like matters anyone even change something feel happiness friends enjoyable honestly care all insignificant am family always abusive what millions people abusive families mine matter doesnt nothing matters me life others lives nothing feel rewarded matter do cant seem find good happiness feeling everyone talks about so started using drugs seemed allow feel good started smoking cannabis recreationally almost everyday made appreciate life little bit actually felt happiness also started abusing opiates opiods used take  mg oxycodone day hydrocodone hydromorphone whatever could honest feel anything anymore tried od end hospital feeling like shit days fun someone trying get enjoyment shit life go much detail personal life honestly care need know sucks want peaceful way out could od cannabis would would best way go cant oh well posting leave something may eventually significant behind maybe doubt worth try think oding morphine way go gone time someone reads maybe simpler suggestions go quick painless good life