still herei know keep going still keep walking waking everyday come point nights lay bed wish dead point feel like useless anything anyway  overweight since young doctors cannot find anything lots tests diticians know done multiple sports went sporting centers personal trainers etc one clue cant lose weight balding since  which also good already almost non existent self confidence gay course look cannot find anyone alone bullied friends keep turning back looking reason done probably parents everytime wanne try see mind  tearing family apart even bringing problems die feel empty feel up done whatever call it want take medication cause side effects would make feel worse know point really feel like far stuck even killing impossible bring many problems feel like mind tearing apart inside wanted barely loved cannot anything right fat lowly loser forever worthless point self confidence everytime manage get small bit broken becomes even harder build up still alive gets better say yeah sure living suicidal depression  years still trying think gets better yeah work maybe late anyway things would get better would gotten better now really think work longer going happen me never get chance good future anyway