im tired fi tried killing sunday  wanted try carbon monoxide poisoning didnt work tried hanging couple months ago got scared midway stopped im tired im sad depressed weak hate myself try make others happy im never happy havent felt true happiness long forget feels like good life like this im scared tell boyfriend knows im depressed dont think knows bad is feels wrong tell feel head girlfriends arent supposed that theyre supposed make so happy make feel loved tell theyre depressed want kill themselves no wont make happy theres thid deep heavy sadness heart im scared tell parents im scared make therapy appointment know dont want hear theyre daughter suicidal piece shit know love me scare sometimes cant always make happy im fucking dumb always okayish grades school work barely anything suck job took thought would make happy interest parent im depressed unhappy life love people around me cant hard ive depressed long  years ive told one person whole thing person doesnt even live country me feel alone even though know im not keep distancing people me want die ive come terms it really nothing much im weak mentally im weak dont want go painfully thought carbon monoxide gonna work hate myself im sorry long wanted ramble