im tired trying anymorei know start im struggling mom ptsd several mental health issues feel like cant reach help state ive using marijuana help ptsd flashbacks anxiety husband great guy were stagnant bedroom hes stopped helping around house kitchen mess also huge trigger me step father would beat shit dishes cleaning fast enough later evening would sexually abused him im done everything im good enough parent kid im good enough spouse christmas going happen year  year old even sure well able pay rent electric bills point break kid year heart surgery im stressed yell time makes feel shitty end it family would happier without me get survivors benefits ss