please someone talk meim panic attack induced nightmare ex bf havent slept  years nightmares traumas life im turn  see ability turn life around right im hyperventilating holding razor neck cards dealt horribly ruined life trying school mom dad dead adopted parents hate tried kick police said wait im  im tired burden unloveable everyone says im young make decision ive suicidal since rd grade havent exhausted every option dont care want sleep im uselesss unloveable whats point suffering also one stopping everyone around says ok