failed attempt weeks ago thought id shaken up feel hollowmy brother gifted magnificent vintage rifle years ago one old russian rounds given misfired gave life decided shoot head mouth ive tried explaining story people asked before either received silence return generic responses life get better your meant something greater it meant be referring living right now part wants type series events lead right now another part keeps repeating trying create pity party myself dont know anymore even energy type incredibly long detailed message here hell im entirely sure even know im typing this out set another date though figure least way ill get see family go fullproof method cant fuck like before always read stories redflag survivors always say regretted it well thing regret using old ammunition