hello tried every avenue even know writing right expecting come truly ran advice people talk too wish talk people close matter want worry want think dramatic attention case know clear answer one seek want know painless easiest way committing act suicide could day giving reasons want could read reasons day long appreciate would trying help want hear it  last  years life gotten harder day day week week month month want end lot demons trying deal years now winning time ever feel true peace asleep fit society all want know advice theoretically quickest easiest way suicide would be without involving anybody else like want someone find body want disappear forever without causing trauma anybody might find state way think possible drowning hoping ocean takes good appreciate touchy subject probably even get advice put writing sake truly accept thoughts mind idkk