know sayfirst time reddit poster little background me tried commit redflag twice beforehanging alcohol currently fluoxetine wanted run ideas guysgirls keep fighting every good day always alittle part brains wonders redflag start make sense again one thing always stuck me failed attempt biologically unable feel happiness fight hard feel something never met feel give in secondly hard  mean finally committing act brain basically cannot feel happiness anymore still clings life strange reason always found interesting