nothing nothingmy husband last night drinking three months  years problem drinking excuses maxing card card spending every dime including change penny jar getting deposits back beer store  always last night worst right weeks ive worked overtime shifts am pmmidnight pay bills literally sleep  nonconsecutive hours night im teacher work since rd medical leave aka hungover two days running drinking every day since fast next  weeks actually ok ive done weeks before also necessary food hes skinny cant skip meals im fucking fatass probably partly man wanted useless horrible drunk friends homes families hes alienated everyone  longer speak anyone family one nightmarish drunken episode another friends become drunk  first cope keep every drop spend evenings hiding booze him hiding cards hiding keys drinks head bobs around stumbles breaks things  denies hes drunk never gone university never left shithole town married best farmer shut fucking mouth hate life hate every day wake up hate already ive cut arms open never deep enough hung privately enough ive overdosed barfed up thing keeping alive knowing take proper care dog