my imagination is not vivid enough to have faith in god spirit and the afterlife death will come no matter what and when it come your consciousness dissappears you don t feel pain you don t feel happiness you don t feel sadness you feel nothing and you think nothing you simply cease to exist but i respect those who want to live it s futile sure but i respect their decision the thing is if you want to live then you have to be strong in order to make it through all the hardship life throw at you weakling will only hinder the strong there are those who wa weak but then became stronger and then there are those like me who stay weak and doesn t have the will to get stronger my friend my family my relative and my neighbor all do their job despite not really liking them while i m just lying here not wanting to do anything if god actually existed he would be a sadist for putting me in such a strong body i once eat on the same table with two covid 9 patient without catching it or maybe he s also a weakling who can never get thing right my body should ve been used by someone stronger than me like steven hawking then i would kill myself once our body got exchanged he is someone who can actually contribute to the world of the living my death would be that by hanging once i m dead all people have to do is untie the rope and throw me into the fire they won t have to waste time finding my body they won t have to scrape my brain and blood off the wall and i will make sure to write a note telling the police that i have not been murdered by anyone directly or indirectly everyone will go on with their life and maybe forget who i am which is definitely a good thing those thought are like an immortal entity i can do nothing but run away from it by distracting myself with anime meme game novel music self harm that entity however would simply sit down and wait patiently because it know full well that no matter what i do i would still stumble into it hand