actually feel alright thats enoughwell past year going quite well outside me ive started leaving house pretty much daily social interaction struggling ofc seeing therapist organising general stabilization people telling you good way etc etc butam i im  years old problems coming week reflection thing like  people like suure im going functioning member society like what  years old know even find something hour time without literally thinking dying worst part is im hoping get bad hole actually get try know again fuck dude back dark times around  years ago felt like shit im going honest here awful still bad today even dont want run infront train time fucking scarred too stubidly time like uuh duuh ill neever forget shitty life this got something feel bad everytime look arm im kind getting mad too right im weak collected paranoid say alert anyone want do dont know need rant ill write comes head alright dont goal hear people say memaybe rehab good beacuse that im like yeah hell yeah doctor knows hes talking about lets that ofc wanted dont want anything sit home nothing oh woops thats enjoyable too would guessed maybe want expect do find fulfilling break down seek help repeat looking spend money find something do feeling bad spending low amount have atleast im living home still soon isnt case anymore too want travel guess stupid reasons yeee guessed its cant let anyone think im trying hurt eh might permanent repercussions wouldnt say im risk right now first and only attempt showed could done it without feeling attatched it lying grass night waiting like so whats next stupid thought like now want hahaha felt like king world called friend told did taking meds back theni trying hurt person feel sick right still like fuck would call someone basically telling im going pass hour so try waste already low battery life couldnt call help suprise called police followed worst  cant remeber days life spazzing chained bed hospital crying screaming able control movement even moment couldnt tell docs didnt regret one bit would try time comes feel like dont fit feels like im wrong universe whew could write much thats now peace stay strong ill maybe another  mins bed