life usually screw nice peopleive never thought bad person ive kind call friends family yet called friends paid back theyve used thrown away like trash appearing need fair ive never ever hurt anyone bullied school way first year uni  ive realised whole life one big disappointment plus suffer social anxiety think ill make threw uni lock im stuck home computer friend one mum checks me wake everyday nothingness loneliness hurts physically barely get bed eat happiness seems like luxury cant afford want friend even one really cares im alone know everyday could last noose ready note prepared need balls go it