getting pretty bad planning ending itmy wife kids left  months ago wife deal depression lost job month ago im surviving severance pay another couple weeks drinking  gallon rum every night exwife begging check hospital helped past im point want help want end k k im going cash maybe take one last vacation plan ending myself ive depressed life last year excruciating worse ever redflag seeming like last option words encouragement im really bad place edit say narcolepsy  hours day im feeling energetic enough anything including getting help