im tired waking upi genuinely think ending life lot ive thought years sucks ive therapy ive medicated nothing seems pull head trauma every years fall deep depression complete misery cry everyday  hardly eat  filled sadness kind go numb feel empty thats comfort away sadness days nobody knows  ive started isolating friends family feel like burden everyones life want distance far dont feel guilty dont like person anymore abuse drugs alc daily drinking taking something else started self harming almost everyday  look wrists body represents scars inside pain outside now look makes hate more feels good one control pain once point tell thats hurts really want die peacefully sleep ive thought mixing pills alc taking sleeping medicine hoping stop breathing time sun goes up ive thought carbon monoxide poisoning didnt ask born didnt ask put trauma fair forced stay tortured every single day thoughts feelings head life would go  people die everyday thats life get choose amp thats difference wishing life away feel content anymore sleep hate feeling way cant help it want know feels like happy wake anxiety attack first minutes awake day asking manage escape today repeats  living im simply existing dont even want to im much pain wouldnt say anyone real life anymore deserve better begin remove easier really remove myself