love life every night cry room thinking redflagthis happening way often recently again currently crying bedroom love life cant stand mom reason get sleep ever reason trade pillows night mines already wet cant anything right eyes makes worst doesnt even know suicidal am constantly bombards shameful comments act like dont care shell use me loves love her thinks shes helping family turn better people shes really destroying it again love life within past week ive noticing much joy do ive realized everything makes depressed life her comes home late sisters everyday late night get bull crap always end day every night think writing last words grabbing knife try stand moms stupid ass comments tries play victim says feels attacked one days shes going kill herself know wont sorry post doesnt make much sense whatever came mind moment post writing however make feel lot better im going kill self know itll hurt makes oddly feel better too please one see comment writing reason making feel nice even jumbled up