ill post here probably ignored anywaysheres backstory im math major college im greatest ill put time effort can love mathematics ton books it study read lot it try understand goes love everything it finals come study arse month ignore world completely study hard crazy still recall if material day test thats beans get nervous contemplating committing first degree murder myself opt it tried really hard material really difficult failed exam quite miserably tell truth his exam hard course grade comes  ok big deal see much final grade was comes b really fair seeing class average  going curve needed mentions class curve college logic come analysis class oh god fail studied  hours day class get c class what cant go graduate school want see high b marks math ive actually contemplating while asked around do advisor math department said well try getting job live life liking math thats life thats meaningless like thought redflag able want study hard show test ridiculous stupid professors help feel useless look material wanna grab kitchen knife sometimes stab it nights hold back looking saying cheated multiple times till knock repeat process please help me