feel right nowim disappointed myself ive always hated myself grew christian family comfort guide life religion literally hates everything am yes im gay cant stop it dont want it could fucking choose straight would fucking would easier doesnt leave life full extraextra  pain promo doesnt make parents extremely disappointed doesnt make family disgust you doesnt make god regret you god think anyway dont know ill go hell killing myself im going hell homo born loving men literally thats it doesnt make want murder well make want murder murder myself hard hard experience waking everyday thinking theres million shitty things hate yourself want end want someone else hope insecurity isnt experience mother talking homosexuality sin youre writing redflag note experience feel one accept ever youre gay are think youre inadequate shameful sinful ungrateful hateful fucking full it i dont know more say dont want gay didnt want it am dont think theres anything wrong it but judge world thinks wrong must be say god hates prophets god themselves atheist im pushed away dont want anyone change are want people stop hurting someone whos done nothing wrong ive lived life never giving chance could others ive lived life utter alone even theres others around ive spent life know im one ill ever get end dont even like myself im selfish anyone feel bad wanted even little bit myself sinful thats said fault born way god hate making like this sentencing death flames death inside everyone outside rotting it dont want blame anyone myself dont know really dont want this but really think way im going hell now lets waste time id like thanks people tried help me many people made make decision breaks heart mother talk stuff gay people like asked wanted dress like woman wont give money purposes homosexuality gays need pay men actually get sort romance lives sad lives force live this gay doesnt mean youre different anybody else means love men nothing else comes it want dress like woman nothing gay wanted to never want ridicule mother anyone love her very much told loved me cant take more cant ive lived like ive one along ive died one all cares die anyway wont even probably notice gone ive wanted grow normal person experience love life like everyone else happy like everyone else cant given that deserve this made feel like dirt everything wrong everyone hates it why why why im still myself always been im just gay changes me im grateful whatever anyone given me family misplaced love theyve given me support matter few there family really nice actually dont deserve this thank friends never felt like true me think lot friends hate too maybe im one thinking that matter many talked still felt scared very alone selfish better dont even bother wasting money already have chuck body river rot let nature claim it would killed sooner later people hate gays sorry im gay say im worse dirt