fucking hate alivei creativity drive passion weak moral compass wish strengthen it morals stupid pointless care myself anyone else anything around me accounts empty vessel ideas goals dreams perspective everything around horrifically warped point connect people care emotions care much effect pathetic life dislike responsibility gain rewards responsible except avoidance pain misfortune im willing try hardest make things work shit hits fan id rather sleep cold ground beg money starve police officer harassed sleeping public space id attack maybe hed kill id able punish blindly enforcing law zero respect for hate responsible people hate something want do im fucking running steam here fuck life fuck you deserve rot hell give fuck ask exist right end pathetic life feel like it care contributing society im weak stupid unconfident find way make real living develope relationships solve problems life bring happiness want believe myself want responsible trajectory life cant trust to cant admit person want work it want die