feeling  butterfly knife  tiredhey guys  ive posted lot recently  basically ago girlfriend depended broke even friends really taxing me went mall friends today  scalpel home wanted something bigger hurt really protection shady areas cape town  south africa anyway im sitting bed im really good place really want self harm really sharp im posting rselfharm takes hours respond im really lonely cant move miss ex nothing makes happy anymore truly happy anyway life feels forced whats killing moved  blocked social media fucked off burdened anymore wish relief too therapist good antidepressants help want die  im scared pain could take lot pills make simple cut bleed id that anyway  years long enough live guess im rambling im sure get emotions out want someone tell things okay miss much killing me want die want die would friends think im gone  family ex anyway thanks listening sw  im sorry im bothering im really alone right now