im disappointed myselfapril really dark time gonna hang th know how miracle urge die like never before optimistic thought maybe theres chance feeling worse make short possible im terrible person hurt everyone way whole  years earth meet vert interesting people life lost everyone also hate fact im achiever way food chain depression always gets way lightbulb blinking go way ideas im trying become nocturnal night day im starting talk less im hungry cant eat im tired talking god today days passed elementary school today kids graduated i grad back  help think heard cheering way home quiet room bottle whiskey thought id suicidal lonely  years later day mom happy me literally feel like break bottle violently carve veins already told gonna kill dec  nothing lose im hurting till becauss feel ike im entering next level depression feel soulless feel like life anymore like talk much mind today keep myself much deserved every bit it