think im gonna anything need get something chestive struggling severe depression last couple years anything particular im about struggle me im  last years lost grandma parents divorced brother got cancer made redundant twice feels like im getting kicked dick life daily basis really ground pretty dull point thing is ive thought redflag quite lot again due struggle getting day im sad anything particular way think id totally end life family know much would upset them especially seen everybody dealt brothers diagnosis im selfish enough put that sometimes though get angry them know it feel like im going hell everyday even realise it feel like im trying convince deserve punishment something really dont sorry ramble wanted tell someone really anyone talk to