one yearits one year since tried jump rollercoaster year nothing changed family full collapse mother fearfull deep pain father detached everything fault wish died grief better this must be tried medications psychotherapy all depression severe overcome tried hide people mask cracking wish everybody shrugged depression like othing years doctors said could better got medicated time case burden hide people like murderer something cause mental illness mark cain society tried everything cant anymore hope real noose time feel tight enough waiting kick chair one year  one useless year older pain hatred pain left ive used abused people  years empty shell maybe time get gene pool wanna embrace death silence im tired now bye