id leave me tooive  hard deal lately ive manic angry manic breaking things throwing things screaming sobbing ive hospitalized many times year ive slowly pushed everyone love away me thinking it maybe thats im suicidal im tired me too want leave me too im tired shit im sick me im sitting here typing darkas one talk and well nothing left say anywayi realize it keep praying tonight night close eyes dont wake up sure maybe itll get better  bother cant even stand look mirror anymore whats point anything dunno sorry weird pointless rant usual wow hate shit today really hard im gonna go drink bunch nyquil get sleep im refreshed another day ideation disappointment