overcome anxiety depressionim sitting crying type this life hit new low consistently like every week im  job moved across country boyfriend im anxious learn drive find job like told would made group friends half longer like mental health distorted personality toxic one found tonight im trying hold together found boyfriends work wont give time anymore cousins wedding back home get plane fly first time next week im terrified dont know do theres much going want scream cry tendencies harm urges never strong dont know else type bad like beyond bad worse long time ive struggled since age  really dont know anymore boyfriend asks whats wrong cant even find words say dont want feel responsible fixing making better want stop existing could kill without hurting family boyfriend would really dont want keep living life like this