option move try live stay commit redflagive stuck essentially us state entire life ill  april every memory place full trauma abuse struggle able take proper steps recovering even medication feel stuck place want move different state start new place know anyone one knows me truly feel begin move on feel hopelessly stuck am want assume know best me feel like know anything myself doubt myself scared moving scared attempting redflag life joke feeling attempt ill end making living existence worse ive written note im giving weeks figure want do cant figure out plan end suffering confusion fear one speak to one listen without bringing problems family two three people hang who also turn talkworry redflag sickeningly upbeat conversation problems guess post heard something know sorry