cant take anymoreim autistic that mom thinks cant succeed world unfortunately shes right im currently year community college feel like last and only month left classes hit summer vacation one classes im involves making art wire paper fabric etc feel like ive basically failed class return given dreams becoming professional critic  internet personality mom isnt even biological mom adopted case egg sperm donor put moms womb came prematurely mom likes call pound premie think better known pound deathbed friends online care extent usually stops shit like ill thoughts talk someone trust call insert hotline number none really helped me contacted hotline past ended nothing help me ive also talked psychologist  months last contact august  hasnt helped either wish friends online knew much situation im trying get better life problem mom become restrictive regarding cant do making feel like shes darkness light save grasp run away before ended contacting mom ran money put  bank account could return home did biggest mistake ever made since then threatened fire job a child care center home kick house garnish money bank account unsuccessful shes sorry it shes acting like almost  months now ive felt like ive pushed breaking point yeah basically nobody know irl  online cares me mom like demon saps creativity me wish never existed wish people actually cared me wish born biological mom i wish better life youll excuse me im going cry breathing shallow maybe something car