crying bed th night rowim tired around theres  billion people planet enough without me im tired crying every night im tired enjoying anything except conversations certain person hates me physically enjoy anything anymore used love playing sports playing video games going school hate them worked ass summer make school sports team studied butt  hours world history ap got  final got ps saved everytime look it reminds pathetic lack friends  pillars life keeping afloat one sports crumbled year best friend wish still crumbling lot redflag idealization within past  months would fucking easy drop face planet self harm cope fact never ready world social experience true aspirations reason live im going anything irrational tonight supplies need atleast wait holidays over summer plan either killing running away  whatever fit backpack