life would much easier thinkthis going mess idk else post this format fucked up apologise sometimes cant stop thinking reasons id better dead im barely human cant function like everyone else can im constantly reminded every shitty thing life matter go do ill never able forget this vivid memories every little thing ive fucked up cant get life without self harm thing point boyfriend theres almost nothing life makes happy anymore amp fucking sucks ive tried talk quitting said something want to thats beside point like idk feel lost im trying find something make stop thinking forever amp redflag answer course get temporary release cutting enough amp never be plus ruining life would much easier kill go shit want feel think even exist ill always reminded past experiences like long period sexual abuse amp rape abusive father amp fucked family even live long enough move ill plagued issues rest life get like boyfriend says things like think future itll get better think will things never get better makes happy really enough keep alive next couple years im stuck fucking house know im even writing this im much coward actually end it came pretty fucking close couple months ago course it wish wouldve succeeded