reason keep going hurt familymy name adam  years old fuck up moved mothers  times think every time lasts months year end back failed go back time planning going school vancouver moved cousin girlfriend quickly figured going work long term gf clearly hated idk sick room mates despises tell way tone changes talks me way back penticton small town mother op top think mom really want back either sick stay her understand increadibly unlikable mattered ended getting kicked allowed extended guests landlord gave boot top friends never loser high school never sleep another kids house think ever even went another kids house high school said obviously never girl friend  virgin really care want gf want someone care about someone cares me truth even know interested girls never opportunity try feel like mess get experience people high school time fairly recently happy dog name ari german shepard loved win heart companion loved unconditionally could always spend time with ended give away place staying could keep at ended move able find another pet friendly place could afford gave good family children still think endlessly like  months now find wishing never got lot better depression wise got now closing know severely depressed  years want end every time mean every time think chance get better goes wrong sick trying