don t want to do anything other than sleep drink or smoke because the future is hopeless because the past can not be changed and lost time is gone forever the logic center of my brain is screaming at me to exit this situation and that there s only one way that living in these condition is meaningless and all the more painful i ve tried everything i even treated myself a a stranger talking to myself a if talking to another telling them i love them and i would look after them and i forced myself to talk back i ve delved deep into question none right in the head would want to touch there s just nothing left to do i ve even begged for help pill only work a long a you take them even then they only take the pain away not the desire for death because it s all pointless in the end to hell with people who love me i m gone