beyond salvationwhilst nothing inherently wrong sanity excessively deteriorating withering away every mental breakdown endure lack social connections long history depression well suicidal thoughts led extremely destructive environment ive developed psyche  long grueling years longer appropriate sense self true self since long buried deep identity manifested endless tribulation consumed being im far gone diagnosed psychotic depression  years ago first attempted redflag put medication happy pills pointless therapy sessions never mend external complications im introspective person many years contemplation self reflection ive come know ins outs mind ive insight gain people held proper conversation anyone  years now im alone world time nearing end im since long ago desensitized idea redflag question never seem able find answer question im still here guess im hoping miracle come save me