hate life feel sadits feel nothing feel like empty shell person wish could feel something wish could even feel sad feel nothing reason ever really talk boyfriend feel sad least makes feel something feels like love anymore want me would ever want be im still love feeling love back makes feel pain least something want hold me admire me something show matter him get that emptiness sometimes around mom helps say anything feel knows need her must sixth sense shell cook warm meal take shopping whatever see feel even bit full trust anyone even boyfriend feel like ill judged brushed off whenever try say something feels like throat closing like body physically stopping reaching out one wants talk either even know im hiding something feel like care enough ask feel nothing judgement feels like people always trying defend themselves want wonderfully warm hug someone hold make feel like nothing else matters long meaningful hug something make feel like birds chirping again rain falling slower even sign im still living alive dead inside wish dead around hate life hate myself