back pitrock bottom become familiar going redflagwatch page reading posts teenagers reminds age empty really already dead inside teen years whole neglect parents constantly told im reason family problems never able connect people moved every years nothing ever solid permanent stopped caring everything reason stayed alive brother didnt deserve deal committing redflag everyone else would okay while like empty carcass walking around even try pretend okay thats little cared ready die whenever myself finally three unsuccessful attempts thought brother saving every time life would get better times right would get used things good something bad would happen again seems like im magnet bed news despite multiple losses break up trauma experienced last year forced remain positive hopeful future now im done again empty carcass like tumbleweed legs almost feel wind blowing me want die bad go coma turn brain little while even thought moving starting motivate me wanna drive california somewhere warm happy see anything changes want happy bad think ive given up hate well know rock bottom familiar normal life im going commit redflag every time try thought brother stops me im r e d im ready done