im burnt out quarantine onceinalifetime break needed im essential worker work even harder normal im drained brain nothing lefti know know thankful im still getting paycheck thankful get wits me know im blessed still bills paid mental health declining rapid pace first daily anxiety attacks frequent panic attacks weekends wholly consumed depression come roaring back alongside daily thoughts redflag sustainable day goes dont think offing myself recently idea death allure like water someone walking desert need rest death thing provide that feel like job meat grinder im meat fed it eventually going kill me either that coronavirus stuff ill get new job ill work til die way joyous im posting im actually going go it cant tell friends im feeling theyve fired furloughed set problems dont need hear mine needed get somewhere hope okay