throwaway account partner follows main account might compromised too reasons explain sooni  currently living immigrant eu country i hail another continent since  years fianci health issues mental physical prevent working since  years ago credflag clinical depression burnout chronic pain due severe injuries received really speak language well partly took year become fluent covid happened went months without seeing human cashiers market partner lost lot proficiencyi saying bad person isolating me best take care me just lost much freedom here unhappy one really takes need help seriouslyi contact family anymore one parents dangerous controlling abused since childhood like abusers parent projects great public persona divided rest family either support side me family cut contact prevent drama parent person tried stalk threaten speak abuse point finding people worked years ago using messengersas might guess became overprotective privacy functionally much social media presence anymore take pictures even talk former friends much also friends eitheri know parent stalked found social media accounts tried find addresses move another place no idea manage even found landlord info twice  years despite another country imagine bad person moved continents get away themi trying get therapy here partner thinks unnecessary unneeded expense cannot get treatment chronic pain reasons cannot even speak pain killers without treated like addict housei probably fucked coming probably never done anyone friends family anyone help me place call home return to feel alone trapped isolated miss human contact much remember last time spoke another human cashier wish could escape to nowherei keep hearing voice head telling kill hurt anymore able rest might even lonelier might better pain free so longi afraid messing know face retaliation things just somehow worse everyday prison see kitchen knives wish could slice dice oblivion escape thisi france going suggest local hotlines not already tried back guy told this beyond level hung me intrusive dark thoughts isolated country nowhere return