im scared keep living scared take lifei dont know im doing made alt account post this practically friends im antisocial trouble talking people moved year ago i adult added specifics age grade got bullied year got pulled second year homeschooled last im getting end everything one close friend cousin care about close friend attempted redflag month two ago cousin says family makes want kill themself im terrified loosing two people actually trust probably reason im alive point im ashamed didnt offer enough support point friend tried taking life infinitely thankful didnt work still scared again cousin attempts it im scared much shit getting c class standards high myself scared parents finding think theyre toxic abusive scared go back school possibility dealing bullying again end day im antisocial overwhelmed loser whos waiting till crack mean friends point im making reddit post want kms feel completely defenseless way like outlet way knowing whats happening next every time im little happy something bad happens extent feel like dont deserve happiness im staying avoid tomorrow im scared whats coming next like breath fresh air years