almost committed ending itso ive come close finally committing finalizing things myself almost still reservations im concerned son affect him time im end rope  hanging tiniest threads ive modified bullets technically cartridges grinding cross patterns tips theyll spray open lethal thereby helping guarantee successful know go complete it know aim almost sure itll lights out body im close im still slightly struggling fear pulling trigger ive told itll rather quick equivalent maybe stung bee something might hurt brief moment ill dead soon after itll forever sleep free pain life ive endured  years relief ive become comfortable enough finally it look forward serenity