ive lost motivation idea doim  m high school clue want do cant define single hobby own cant find motivation stuff future close falling apart know myself school luckily counting marks since onset pandemic march but im fearful everything fall apart soon go back school one friends trying hook guy started texting him like like him though keep pushing away fear burden lowkey friendzoned myself haha exchange program germany  barring fucking virus cant even find motivation study german though would open opportunities future know best nothing watch youtube  hours day sleep barely eat and cut myself im blank ive lost motivation im seriously considering offing every week fuck do please help really know go do sorry rambling know say do ask questions need clarification ill try answer