ever get feeling got worst first lockdown didnt sleep days thought work immensely late fell massive rut started self harm ive bever best sleeping awful affect ven now usually stay around am ive type multiple times find writing far far much ive stuck dad outdated beliefs antivax mum said ahe never wanted see im  predictably messaged month said trying bribe come back sick wasnt first time said kicked out dad hand pretty muxh worse the straight white male opposed race you get oit rut like snaps fingers anyone form medication drug addict could go hours fell behind work returning school soon fell behind ages ago trying catch pretty much never did dad help at all eventually broke broke  month self harm clean streak step mum freaked considered emailing teacher said do hesitate email worries questions ask work really really worried thats now week ago teacher responded saying pretty much dont worry completely fine still cant shake feeling literally nothing really complain about guess parents theres alot try think about dont know thats it anyway ive sorted things girlfriend happy ive sorted schoolwork ive started exercising frequently yet still feel uneasy whats wrong me things going pretty well cant shake weight me still really long cant even bothered shorten anymore anyone else get feeling tldr mean much better explained read but things going pretty well comparison past yet cant shake feeling uneasiness weight pulling down