wrote yesterdaysometimes drive bridge hold breath cant help feel need plunge ther side anxiety floods mind fills entire being mentally talk it holding breath multitasking anxious damn near impossible entire task killing takes much work slipped quick sand sink grab rope pull out little time make decision must make one fast tired living way want feel like dissappointment constantly wish feel like fucked much way get kill myself makes nauseous know wrong decision mind seems like decision im trying best fight it promise am taking everything within fight it live fear afraid something happen send edge make it terrified able fight anymore getting harder harder stay intoxicated better vocalize urge kill myself battle there im fighting it im temporarily content thats really anymore temporary moments contentment think anyone help fix this me and know yet