terrible day weeks months yearstoday favorite holiday worked ditched everyone caresweeks stuck car sullen teens grouchy husband visiting relatives introvert excruciating put smile managed scream anyonemonths prepared foster program trigger past bad prepared adjustments parenthood fucking hate parent every level cannot go back nowyears years struggling working better never enough soul exhausted know anymore empty empty ever life hate everyone regret everythingall want walk away common sense says that would make feel worse long runa stupid meme facebook kept calling sucide hotline felt like this alone world theripist disappointed mei special unique one cares everything nothing