feel worse boyfriend broke mei know whole thing may sound stupid suicidal thoughts boyfriend broke blah blah blah start off ive depression almost  years suicidal thoughts time ive tried commit redflag  times went hospital twice months ago found guy nice caring always thought would together long time ive never strong feeling someoneever know loved sure love right back found thinking breaking did said lied much got upset lot around himi blame much things arguments caused me also said could find someone better really best person found never meant hurt him guess even realize lying got upset around him really dealing things mentally seem believe thats case swear is care much drew portrait him made bracelet wrote letters basically could keep him feel like worst girl friend him tried hard work keep one love dearly 