fucki made post before talked situation little friends leaving college parents really like care me long im fed really care feel dropped school parents pushing go back motivation finish it like used like hockey computers hate them feel like nothing left me cant feel happiness life point living seen signs things going get better even know could get job show up thats school anyways still like talk friends like discord that seems like like really care happens me try tell im feeling awful ignore it really care matter much try get point across im happy think ever happy crave like important somebody day see really isnt possible personality besides sad time thing play fucking video games day even get joy that used watch people play games youtube shit thats enough either ive pondering whether like hig hike south see something finally makes feel better like leave one would really notice parents probably tell im gone like  days since rarely even check me like matter choose im going happy im told redflag answer really tell why want like stop feeling pain alone time ive never actual girlfriend anyone actually cared me feel like matter im going actually meet anyone shallow am push talk girls hurts everytime get ignored told im boring like actually matter school say get really picked gotten shit kicked like  times like talking like wanna give want kill myself feel like im running excuses im alive right now used fit healthy hockey im underweight almost pass randomly get anything used actual friends really like talking since really reason talk im boring uninteresting may think im assuming things get told repeatedly dad mom thinks like help feel better gives tell im feeling brother literally wants die like joke wanted stab one point hid room hes disabled really take seriously still hurt want see actual sign like im making day fucking get old thing sit waiting friends talk computer wait long enough try talk like play game get mad leave fucking sucks know do run away stay dropout go school anything never motivation fucking myself know least structured shit probably said lot things multiple times fucking hate feeling shitty empty want something change like anything