cant itabout month ago posted detailing ongoing battle depression psychosis anxiety skin disorder ezcema causes alot distress lost mom cancer who alot selfreflecting began realizing crippled via neglect overbearing nature conditional love based academic performance lost countless friendships social ineptitude simply withdrew society aside work actually tried amend friendships lost went horrible was either blocked much time passed person honest forgot admitted bad blood begin with overtime logistics job allowed save christmas given family here ill probably donate it long story short cant commit redflag cant go like either bridge planned jump extra servaillance holiday season exhaust pipe go via carbon monoxide adn im scared die via poisoning drop hanging method aside two planned months really hoping former becauae clearance said bridge higher golden gate safety net im crushed golden ticket out wouldve intimate thing ive done planned leave behing multiple notes friends loved ones along assuring theyd better off going birthday present approaches beginning next month id finally able permanently prevent screwing always cant anymore know now want spend another year here