continuing lifefirst all cant believe im here usually kept everything myself thoughts keep coming now internet longer provide answers motivation believe talking friends family isnt helping make feel worse avoid social medias may know username usually use games doubt use reddit even subreddit guys good strangers now  cant even describe myself im scared people scared try scared communicate pessimist feeling worthless cant anything properly life im age need find jobs social anxiety personality cant even talk properly every interview end bad every new interview always remind previous went fail again tried always chickened out ending scared even trying anything new worse  im man  even future  far dont dare even look girlfriend  feel know left get know better end gossip behind destroy image community  slightest small possibility found one wont left me make think destroyed someone daughter future deserve better life normal men me do lost father last month one keep going life mother want make proud want happy dont want waste sacrifice me seem failing endlessly im feeling terribly sorry hard work raising someone like me im tired living like this feeling way could longer find enjoyment life usually play games shake feelings cant even get play games nothing seem entertain now