need make thursday oh please help make iti strength left last week made appointment therapist earliest could arrange know bothers it took psychology school know say know do want magical session gives hope want doc say somethign already thought give hope keep going im sitting here thing think is im done want go on want life anymore want lay pass peacefully sleep days lay awake thinking time go wish would come naturally right now keel heart attack aneurism disease seen coming far wake every morning alone give comfort doesnt feel bad cause id leaving behind siblings parents nieces know love me dont cant help think irrelevant really am sure theyd upset theyd live lives eventually hit ends wheels time turn turn dust life would meaningless now need hope something keep going till least thursday cause right now thursday hope have slimmest hope best heart head fabric hurts