caught fiance cheating again were less four months away thought going make it want face future anymore fault stupid really thought going make it caught texting people times went therapy life moved on decided get away maryland away drama found thyroid cancer texting people surgery thyroid removed whole time hes telling theres nothing worry about loves me focused us relationship entire wedding planned paid for every surface apartment covered engagement photos initials everything said loved it said loved me feel disgusting fat filthy alone really thought finally made it really thought future life look forward to nothing nothing want feel alone worthless anymore nothing helping want gone way know would work id right pills synthroid tums im second floor hurt bad