honestly dont know anymoreim  feel like life already over want fall asleep forever gpa went average completely nonexistent constantly push everyone away struggle taking care myself im exhausted try tell parent gets upset says phone ive wanted kill years now cant get therapy parent doesnt believe frankly dont blame him point life much medication doctor ended hospital getting abusive household dont know function think trying kill myself end forcing emotions much im end people try stay away im fake dont want anymore dont want alive want kill badly ive tried get help past one actually cared