think life thing anymorei never thought id writing post here always thought strong always thought wouldnt get this everythings changed guess anxiety bad dont think want live anyone anything could possibly worry about worry about anxiety bad always gives phantom pains convince im heart attack stroke shit im  years old shouldnt living like this like girls carefree anxiety lot better awhile taken turn worse dont wanna live anymore friends get mad makes feel shitty put parents much shit ive little mini mental breakdowns barely relationship dad love mom much mom worry much ive treated shitty past makes feel like absolute shit hate always worry her know would better dead gone didnt exist wouldnt causing pain  kids live street killed know scared want feel like think need commit redflag hate feel way hate wanna free pain me dont wanna feel way dont wanna feel anymore wanna gone wanna free pain im crippled im drowning