bad ideaso around  years ago oldest brother tried overdose due untreated depression  years as well adhd mightve partially caused depression idk dont quote dont know things thankfully second thoughts called  hes still today however still think sometimes know would absolutely devastated succeeded look him however fell back depression  months ago despite seeing therapist medication depression anxiety adhd ive wondered hes hoped attempt successful though honestly dont blame him despite loving household nice house plenty food still depressed feel exact way difference one life knows depression think redflag attempt almost every day maybe wasnt bad idea thought getting better started panic anxiety attacks again well feeling real depressed honestly whats point feel like shit now go get help ill probably go back feeling like shit except x im stuck weird limbo dont reason live dont reason kill myself im think writing redflag note im much pussy kill myself want stay bed sleep never wake up want go school actually get education want normal person get freeze moment teacher calls me want friends find depression least talk it push away get panic attack start even slightly figure out fucking hate this wish could one stop damn indecisive either kill dont theres fucking between