physically cannot commit redflagi tried commit redflag couldnt grabbed biggest knife house took upstairs entire way there kitten affectionate ever tried stab heart couldnt maybe im weak maybe knives harder use thought were left little scar tried dig scar knife matter hard tried couldnt get deep enough tried throat couldnt cut throat either tried hard would leave red mark parents would see it eventually gave played kitten instead pretty stupid try commit redflag halloween anyways costume wouldve gone waste dont access guns rope dont think really commit redflag now unless could jump high place place think house kinda hard describe im sure high enough kill me dont wanna risk getting hurt without dying wanna die end pain dont know now