it s been five year and a couple day now since my first major attempt i m not too sure how i feel to be honest ha life improved well not really of course after that first attempt i tried a couple more time i think if we look at the net value i m relatively in the same spot a i wa five year ago vibing on the bridge thankfully i m not too upset about that i think sadness and my inability to get out of said sadness is something that i will have to live with i m getting better at fighting it that s for sure are some day tiring and fucking unbearable of course but now i m just content with existing sad day are hard some day are easy i think i m just shocked that i m still alive well i definitely know that younger me would be shocked i m still kicking around maybe he d be happy that i stayed for this long there really isn t any point to this post just a bit of selfish self congratulation and the ability to say i m still alive guy i hope everyone ha a good day it s raining where i am but it s really nice to look at