lost another jobtied anxiety lack ability function useful way lost another job months even keep together get past pruning phase already spent nearly  months psychiatric hospital lead psychiatrist medical team made clear want returning least without actual redflag attempt bolster previous loosehearted attempt continuous feelings sort know anymore feel like abysmal failure incapable keeping even smallest parts life functioning path want sitting home alone day working keep thinking last straw point stop trying everyone care already wasted many resources hours energy trying keep falling apart ive never together begin with