i m going 9 this year life ha always been a rollercoaster for me consistently an a student till h then dropped out of college due to severe disinterest and had to take care of mother that had stage cancer not formally diagnosed but i m sure that s when i developed some sort of depression after all that i went to work on and off in small bakery without formal training of any kind which is a pressure of it own cooking and baking ha always been my catharsis though which is why i never gave up pursuing this career even now picked it up really well but have gap of missing knowledge since i never went to culinary school wa doing well for a few year there but then the pandemic hit and at the same time my mother went into remission so i had to leave the west coast back to the east to take care of her i love my family don t get me wrong i am more than happy to take of them but we are not financially stable in any sense even before the pandemic so i guess this is where it lead to the present my current rock bottom always thought the low point of my life can t get any worse but here i am experiencing it all over again mom is now stable or a stable a can be so i m back in the west coast and currently have a job working in a hotel in pastry i m pretty good at what i do or at least the thing i know how to do in term of pastry but working at a hotel is a whole different scene and they expect a lot out of you i m pretty sure i m about to be fired because i may be a liability i have huge gap in my work history due to family issue and huge gap in my pastry knowledge because i am only well versed only in what i would consider 0 of the basic employer really don t care about all of this they just want qualified people not your sob story so yeah life ha always been hard for me personally and i feel it s about to get worse if and when i do get fired it ll hit me pretty hard mentally thanks everyone for reading through this entire rant i don t have anyone else to tell this to