point killing feels harder coasting along alivei halfassed tried hang almost three weeks ago day ex broke body kept panicking keep alive succeed since ive coasting last  years transferring current college first relationship  never defined never knew ended blue shaken core ive friends friends high school kinda drifted even though were still living area hang often talk other went two sets roommates made life hell ive living studio last set anxiety living people became bad again another relationship ex emotionally abusive emotionally abusive way always letting know potential physically violent never actually anything me scared leave least  months shortly that ended relationship ended seriously thought love life guess unhappy ended breaking heart right one year anniversary whole year relationship delay graduation plans got sick mono month right getting back life best friend killed month th one year anniversary that right two ds hardest time getting classes knows ill even able graduate spring ive depressed since  felt like ive coasting life point theres lot changes happening want nothing them job internship prospects school still retail job enjoy it cant live forever im tired feel worthless want cease existing getting body point let go seems like work putting enough effort get by cried entire way home work last night im parents house tonight went see younger brothers high school band concert im spending night spent part day watching mom freak bills im like i want this want it feel like ive seen enough none seems worth it god damn killing hard work