dysfunctional thoughtsfirst all im black girl living mostly white town pretty much racist people here people know anything world around them im relationship almost  years vacation friends  days makes feel pretty wanted right now im halfway social work study know self reflect need someone talk to ive always strange kid people town cant see beauty like stereotypical pale blonde girl im actually quite happy myself im dysfunctional thoughts atm feel like one likes me loves truly cares me one truly loves me actually much friends acquitances probably spelled wrong normally self esteem dependent so right is dunno long story short feel fucking worthless right now understand wrong normally im happy myself today miss boyfriend im tired always ugly kid feel need cut myself although hurt since  years sorry horrible english first language 