anyone offer advice thoughts anythingi figure place people might diverse opinions experiences biological depression aka im little down cause got broken with im debt etc top intense atheism scientific deterministic perspective quantities intelligence sufficient detrimental think might main problems see reason exist things fun simply to like waiting forsomething idea could be death chance deal continuous internal dialogue could somehow withdraw sit around rot without deal mind whole time would frustration life search meaning when really none whatsoever hobbies theyre distractions enjoyments enjoy them understand people function day day every hour spend conscious feels like last  meters kbut never ends killing due excess emotion cant deal with would lack emotion investment anything throwing hands defeat fact one nothing exists reason existence itself existence really grating nerves