im feeling overwhelmed right nowfirst all guess necessary say im depressive know of ive never really checked specialist said last months since broke ex girlfriend barely month quarantine ive feel really overwhelmed extremely sad feel like need write see someone read not feel like need take chest last days ive thinking lot redflag particular reason it feel like want end life like worth living anymore course first thing think mom feel like her today got news basically spoiled whole day even week feel like crying lot want cry fall sleep family today siste came visit another city since tomorrow moms birthday hence staying tonight likely sleeping dad sleeping  goes plan crying sleep ive obligations cant settle mind them im trying focus stop thinking notice cant makes sad really really want end it know how want talk family it feel like see psychologhist know get appointment one without family noticing know theres nothing wrong seeing mental health specialist know family knows theyre going worry want to weeks ago started talking agan ex even planning hanging past weekend troubles possible even sent food desserts big fool am today minding business trying help something lead get notice asked talk someone trouble having someone basically told used send nudes knows else one closest friends this want talk friends either person sent screenshot conversation friend basically hurt fucking lot chatted person ill call a basically told also boyfriend ex time her told fooled us both called friend mine everyone told never talked boyfriend friend talk all apparently well actually one reasons broke never introduced family friends telling guess makes lot sense confronted her told find out course say lies guess cant believe her also talk friend also denied everything cause yeah going say yes friend fooled gf sorry basically know now im feeling sad want cry want hurt myself want scream know hell do thank apologize anybody read this mean bother people problems figured needed al least write somewhere get chest feel like fool now knows may times may cheated always defend like fucking clown thats am fucking joke ill delete post later want slightest chance friends seeing this