so i have finally come to realize that i have had this fantasy that i have a family that care my mother ha her own issue bi polar my mom life partner just doesn t care and tell me to get over it my sperm donor of a bio dad remarried and ha his own family now and is ecstatic about his grand kid i feel like i wa the throw away tossed out with the garbage when it come to my parent it ha taken me 0 year to come to this conclusion why did it take me so long when my sister said f ck you when she wa hope is the only thing i can come up with to answer that question they say blood is thicker than water when it come to family i now disagree i have finally come to the conclusion that my parent can kick rock if they fell off of a cliff i would watch them fall some would say that is a heartless thing to say about your parent but i am done done placing myself in a situation that allows my heart to be trampled by one that claim to love me or one i would think should care all of these thought and outcome in life have lead me to being suicidal and depressed i am now working hard to manage my thought of suicide and depression first thing is to get my finance in check pay down my debt so i can become financially free to do what i want with my money second and really while i am working on my finance lose some weight and get my physical health back on track it is time for me to start living this life i have been gifted with and see were it take me all i ask of you is your support and prayer if interested check my profile from time to time a i make journal entry posting them to my personal profile god bless i love you all