i think the pandemic hit me hard i moved out of my childhood home of 0 year week before the pandemic hit i had worked job and saved for year for a deposit on a place of my own which in the very expensive city i live in wa 0kms away from my family it felt like such an amazing achievement at the time but ever since then mentally i ve never been the same i am so lonely yet i enjoy living alone i am a highly anxious person i always wa but now i just worry all the time i move about life with a permanent storm cloud over my head i struggle to regulate my emotion i am getting more and more overweight and can not seem to stop eating bad food i quit my job in 0 and got a new one but i have never quite been happy or settled there i have tried mindfulness regular exercise breathing technique everything you can think of i went to the doctor for help with regulating my low mood and she put me on the pill which ha made thing even worse i am feeling thing lower than ever before i had a really bad day at work today and for the first time ever i thought not in any way seriously or actionable but the thought popped into my mind how suicide would be an option to not have to deal with thing everyone around me seems to be so busy with husband wife kid activity etc i seem to be getting left behind how do i cope with this how do i get back to being happy and determined and not so down and low