im sick want get alreadyi feel like belong home anymore everyone forgets im even door wide open died tonight one would notice except dog bf would better without though bc bring everyone down wonder everyone else forgets me depressing piece shit  wish could get suicidal thoughts past plan stage start working implementing shit im tired alive im tempted relapse cutting pills tonight made promise would try hardest to wish never promised hard trying pretend everythings okay not wish normal think like this wish friends wish loving family wish happy instead sad miserable every single day