life getting better im suicidal ever updatei explained different post got deleted ill skim short make it december  started dating girlfriend love lot already joke marriage mutual neglect parents made us love lot get attracted fast december th contemplated redflag point loaded gun head told girlfriend then best friend friend groups goodbye february th bday parents get heated argument moms lack ability sleep due insomnia dad forced sleep familys store february th parents tell getting divorce im scared know legal battle messy sister points ive shown except first one decided kill february th  really dont want really dont love girlfriend much live  free away parents cant know