grieving heaps regrets happiest time yeari miss mum aunt mum mentally ill really good looking her aunt one would look lot whenever mum go hospital died around middle year cancer last time saw looked thin nothing tell would actually last time saw her good spirits day found mum dead ridiculously normal cant get move grief live dad keep thinking earth live around anymore life huge support people like theres basically one reach honest with ive described angel well look friends friends now nowherei keep suicidal thoughts im sure much longer keep up like reason need work dad rent honestly hate life wish never born all feels like stupid mistake advice needed purely vent gives comfort someone else feels awful time year thats good ive never acted suicidal thoughts ive always one others strong feel like nothing left cried today whether tiredness loneliness mixture things im sure im usually good looking bright side things get really sick putting front know would love keep touch anyone going anything similar pm like feel like mum got put grave nearly  part got put too im  feel like longer live waste cant want degree english drama nice job bookstore feel lonely kills me people thought friends even speak now ive tried many times open people mind tell whats happening get angry like im burdening even though really want say word unless really ok thanks reading