point sympathize one living hell familyi love family havent killed myself living hell right now god awful digestive pain feel thobbing migrating around face day day out sharp pains lasting m random spots body brutal cluster headaches worst part god awful shit hanging soft palate big sharp cant swallow weeks end days like sudden feel massive foul tasting things go throat barely swallow cant throw squirm go down neti rinses result nothing even muccus comes clear bloodwork showing nothing slightly elevated white blood cell count feels like im swallowing massive parasites fucking disgusting terrifying one believes me think im delusional think could delusional ive antipsychotics months fuck all doc refuses send sort specialist going  years getting worse gotten drugs simply ease numb pain weird sensations feel cuz really think delusional started happening got drugs point hell living outweigh pain family feel ending life dont know much longer go like this shit seriously fucked up