endi feel like im end rope met somebody online genuinely intrested dating me turn saw look like aunt died watch scatter ashes wonderful human life justdumped water friends getting annoyed constantly telling this tell start conversations anymore start it ive waited see long took  days lonely acted like perfectly fine messaged joking around stuff ive lost friends depression before cant lose more now im writing this  morning one awake house may live house nother father brother honesty ive never felt damn lonely killing me im wits end theres train track house know could go there lay head never feel way again idk im trying achieve writing this honestly know feel like get out perhaps final letter world last words want happy ive tried therapy ive tried meds ive tried finding job talking people work never does try right want work once idk theres god ive never given much thought hope is least send someone grant strength keep going want die want live feel like thing point die im fucking scared