im loosing itill turning  months even tho im good place right  well school good paying job im finally getting great shape feeling comfortable appearance depressed im bi known bi since  still closet kinda latino extremely old school family know id probably stoned death ever found out also longest time let insecurities self confidence issues get better me hating looked kept head went school without ever anything wild barely went parties never experimented anything never got girlfriend even tho girls flirt me obviously never got boyfriend either  matter bad wanted one stories tell boring  year old virgin thing stopped offing telling keep pushing through get shape would finally confident enough come closet maybe find someone  years later im shape yea sure like look still cant come out day restaurant friends ridiculously hot waiter came table started flirt acted normal non interested left wtf wrong me hate wasting best years life cause think good enough hate fucking disappointment want redo anyone bekieve reincarnation whatre chances die come back another gay kid time  less issues higher  ill take it would quickest less messy way go it may coming bit dramatic stated everything thats wrong want start want get overly anxiety multiple times ive go psychs either molested dad tried beat living shit kid cause bipolar explain like watching one closest friends high school get throat cut open helplessly watched bleed ambulances took forever come amongst plethora things judge fuck life