something really wrong meso im really struggling moment lots things staying home really messed schoolwork im back school now found grades beginning fall im getting worried final grades good enough ive heard many people tell end world desired feel like is talents skills interests passions decent personality succeed life so grades thing im sort good provides chance getting somewhere idea want future finish school end year still clue all everyone else idea im confused really many friends either ive cut lot family so life lonely lot time deal devastating social anxiety held back many times even caused stupid things last couple days done nothing besides school mostly stayed room looking phone motivation anything anymore used like making videos playing keyboard try feel it even feel motivated play video games anything bad is little hope myself dealing suicidal thoughts couple years though ive set dates never gone end supposed done beginning year scared always im stuck