even qualify livemy life always riddled failures depression bad back gotten worse adult im severely lonely everyday repeat previous try distract activities cope loneliness often quit early god damn pandemic helping either im tired wasting away sad lonely world passes matter wanna scream show worth adult i keep composure ive hiding years now ive never told anyone really am usually hide smile like everything fine not im tired worthless piece trash keep saying want die courage it like something always holding back maybe false hope things get better fact die take care father family member back even never told depression bad gotten want burden regardless even qualified keep living  im wasting time withering away clock keeps ticking