attempted redflag once didnt pan out now wish access fentanylmy attempt redflag took eight instead four trazedone got sixth pill figured fuck it every day realize much loser last day hopeless future is im  almost  im white hetero male high school diploma nothing else ive applied hundred jobs year ive two interviews never called back ive unemployed year now thats saying much last job mascot needless say doesnt come close even paying food live disability im ugly acne scars rosacea im little overweight cant afford clean clothes pay four days food without using food bank relying family starving girls look like im cockroach never get smiled public dont see point studying get technical school because thats afford student loan get computer engineering technology government take  earn  spend time working hard get job fry cook money taken away you enough some fun myself doubt id get promoted ive never promoted ive lost  jobs since  employment record credit score filth cant afford  cant qualify move better apartment end dont mind leaving family behind theyll think well hes better place now would truth every day inch closer closer towards homelessness apartment building cock roaches mice god knows else makes living much desirable actually existing wish fentanyl days want go it day know ill day again