birthday oct th will planning potentially day after im sure getting better me ill never find people gets me lover anything guardians mentally amp physically abusive almost bordeline narcissistic struggle race black weight no idea obese general outter appearance really much fact thought perceived one else except family members i go dont worry abt usually send breakdown disgusting look especially men cant basic things parent treated likr child age done everything me incapable lot things gone hs parent decided hs day turned   years ago nothing live for sad everyday exhausting