joyi cant seem feel anything fear anguish anymore think im going kill myself quite yet ive entertained idea many times recently suffer bpd pretty extreme hypochondria every little thing going body sends shivers spine used write play music time cant even come words melodies anymore see much reason go living like this things cant control know medication would make much much worse ive even considered picking heroin late drugs seem help feeling temporarily im afraid heroin overdose seems like best way go honestly really know im posting this guess cry help something cant seem feel positive emotions anymore