things baddoesnt feel worth pushing havent told anyone yet im really ready tell family diagnosed neurological disorder auditory processing disorder memory disorder transient aphasia something else tia tai maybe something temporary lack blood flow brain altered alertness something else said didnt mention voice ive hearing im sure couldve handled bad news altered alertness right gets bad sometimes find room house clue got there remember elsewhere im somewhere else memory transport thats right word cant think word want travel transfer im supposed drive tremors extremities prompted go back doctor sometimes get bad cant hold phone pencil wasnt prepared news got said likely permanent result accident earlier year screenings done due bleeding disorder mixture coughing blood realizing dont clot trying hand something theres really one person want talk it cant idk last month almost jumped high rise window probably shoulda it really something want do feel like might best course ive lost year ever thought could alone though all mean counts felt alone one gets it well one person gets it dont feel like talk it unsolicited vehicle makes think much better year ago myself knew exactly waking blind faith kept walking cant faith anymore sometimes universe tries tell something miss life could had tired storms tired dont like anymore im person thought was theres never safety net even one promises there decides arent worth saving leaves lot happened today think ill drink tonight dont think much else