best case scenario coming s thousands debt nothing show it broken body broken mindbought rc benzos try treat redflag made anything better even blacking abusing anything  feel like shit tired did diy hormone treatment couple years ago things felt better stop lose financial support education like would graduate anyway thoughcant see doctor family care one friend left abandoned abandoned by ride die lot shit me getting fancy magnet treatment getting better making friends successful actually passionate making music jealous bitch hurts watch cannot talk it got nothing left buying meaningless shit failing stupid diy projects pass timewaiting one job application come back shitty night shift grocery store stocking job good for get interview taking  grams etizolam drinking wake uphow fuck end like failing college unemployed bought meds thinking using end