something need tell youive suicidal  years off awful times good times mostly numb times make big speech saying different  head somehow bright wonderful place  think anyones truly is live planet heres thing better now lot better reason saw therapist although sure would help many people gave tough talk changed display phone motivational quote trapped cage fear cage though miserable  safe safe hypothetical dangers meandering whatifs possible terrible scenarios ignoring dangerous one all  manipulated controlled lied mind lied made think capable able enough  anything anyone easier  kinder let alone  stagnate exist nothing anything anyone id get dressed tell going outside progress ok ok dead nothing else me feel reason grow all got point carry would physically dead emotionally mentally dead crashed glass took comfort zone smashed right it blew lid glass jar id screwed tight i stopped being comfortable sent email company took random chance shot took sign flew it dragged roots ground id tightly hooked into pumping soul full toxins long scared terrified wanted cower wanted safe again pit  hole misery scary safe life much shook head screamed no went outside got flight job terrified id shit at bit was got better good good something something liked met people terrified meet liked me laughed  sound real hugged someone called friend  felt like natural thing fell love person never couldve dreamed head real sex felt another person  properly  want anywhere else remembered feeling way years tasted rain swam lake surrounded mountains rehashed views myself watched old self cower fade away saw new self able free saw saw could be lied think are liar know yet get scared get uncomfortable hell get uncomfortable feel sick make heart pound scream head tells point scream told go home home home point world black hole wraps around illusion making answer pills endless therapy quotes videos hug pat back answer you answer confidence confidence knowing capable of know  know go live