wife ready kill lostmy wife  attempted suide june th via taking bunch pills  effexor trazadone xanax basically whatever house thought might work didnt saw take pills called  immediately suicidal ideations last november saw therapist tremendous gift help got past  then recent attempt one visit back therapist things gone south refuses see therapist again saying i want help seems commited path killing herself efforts naught feel totally defeated barely get promise one day suffers sleep deprivation drinks vodka try get sleep makes decision making process completely defective i probably mention attempt  got hospital bac  morning  wakes am night drunk sleep deprived saying cant more underlying issue victim child molestation brothers age  never suffered repercussions crimes obesesses that effots get last word somehow decided suicde ultimate vengeance them heartless soulless bastards feel nothing death will son granddaughter son serious issues therefore much help best female friend gather somewhat supports ending pain one trying desprately keep alive admit always react well threats promises kill herself sometimes show anger leave with total devastation everything me last long without her loss proceed change mind keep safe drugs left home could use try again ive hidden car keys ive hidden kitchen knives cannot stay  try keep safe