dont know anymoreits awhile since ive felt shit im  year old college student cant take living anymore entered college health science major hopes one day becoming doctor maybe try help people anyway can ive terrible depression years freshman year college life felt pretty good everything new could reinvent fucked up within half year freshman year cut almost everything social life personal life personal health pretty much everything could focus studying hard trying get good grades didnt work matter much try terrible classes nothing show it last weeks even stressful normal cant take anymore gave friends relationship family personal health ive gained almost  pounds longer exercise eat anything aside shit food feel like im slowly dying stress class work along worsening physical mental health feel trapped life see way ill ever get dying matter hard try never shack depression suicidial thoughts ive tried medication therapy little avail ive wasted life want stop now