context  year old know none going believable make sense currently attend full time college finishing december also work full time cyber sec professional obviously may think damn bet kid living great life well truth dying inside amazing girlfriend upbringing hell growing starved neglected abused emotionally left lied to parents drug addicts alcoholics never anyone mom passed due abuse think mental illness bad appear living amazing life everyday mood changes like crazy want leave everything hate waking hate sleeping hate everything everything tiks overwhelmed emotions sad fuck  reason feel extreme past thramu younger days done still living home going move day turn  already  place meant time two years hell go through  friends anymore busy time used to bad alone friends  hard relate cannot go hang feels weird different stage life time not idek makes sense massive brain dump take wish advice would love  top world little everyone know dying inside