im seeing therapist today doesnt know feel way im scared tell heri made couple posts asking help try resolve feel way diagnosed severe anxiety stress issues also autism diagnosis younger suicidal badly depressed couple years now made plans kill recently bought gun so tried hinting parents feel way dads sole response people feel way get it sympathy advice ever night went room put gun head passed could finally decide whether it night made post asking lot guys girls told tell therapist came conclusion would still know best interests so  half hours first face face session since corona im starting get really nervous telling her dont see often know chance anxiety stress kicking really badly thinking say im worried anxiety making shake right now really want tell seems like theres mental block please give advice overcome please