cant even help myselfmy life nothing trainwreck im sitting burning fire thing it depression sucked motivation energy me quick rundown life garbage ive unemployed year now im thousands dollars debt cant pay off im socially isolated im  years old still living moms house days consist nothing everything mom orders which pretty much everything would require get couch watching youtube videos browsing social media thats it besides eating going bathroom simply sit room mom telling something her speaking mom tells your life bad everyone depressed nowadays you grateful roof head agree with hard appreciate feel every day underlying sadnessnumbness im starting fail see point continuing live live life nothing pain numbness cant even remember last time actually felt happy want make people laugh happy reason cant get shit together cant even get job mcdonalds try get momentum watching inspirational videos reading become disciplined nothing seems work money get help depressionanxiety honestly last time therapist really help much felt last session going first one im tired trying time fall face again nobody turn to nobody talk issues with said earlier mom dismisses everyone problems tells shit her know hard accomplish goals consist completely independent mom able make others happy boss simply able wake morning hating life thats want really expect make others happy cant even help myself discipline last friends labeled lost cause abandoned me blame for anyways know wrote this guess rant im end rope figuratively soon going literally thanks listening reading hope find way achieve dreams cuz deserve it peace