want leave tonightnot bothering throwaway dont know anyone would care found this im  years old friends family ive felt like dying long remember point pushing cowardice bc hotlines say gets better eventually never me good job year attempt took me jobless couple months havent drive really try find anything sleep much body let me wish anything left keep really dont im constantly physical emotional pain ive many therapists psychiatrists nothing make better want go whatever next maybe finally go maybe reincarnation real ill happier tomorrow