ive got nothingso fucked real bad got stupid shit fault know it  older brother tried kill himself times broke me like seriously broke me dont know else say it ive tried everything get better honestly im  now ive done therapy ive tried talk hes fine honestly hes well ive done well too ive worked hard somehow ive fucked it got drugs bad lot good job im trying recover make work keep falling back in im debt lot debt nobody knows im scared life insurance death service policy family would supported best friend girlfriend would get twice salary each plus more keep thinking hanging recently predominant thought head hurt it dont know do im pretending manage cant keep pretending k debt repay dont know it im gone nobody mind debt go theyll get money help themselves right