definetly put end thissadly  still alivei planning end pathetic charade new years eve ami made promise th january im definetly it im  even know depression creeped mei think around  soit painful yearshaving put fake smile every single day actually rotting insidei quite lot friends still feel alone best friends known like  years started making fun random things probably gone affect one week maxthe thing kept alive  stupid years working feel miserable even working help parents miss ask born world makes feel ok hurting themnew years eve shiteven though bunch friends felt alone always saw girl love hooking random dude making even sadder go outside stay bench  hours listening sad fucking songcrying alone thinking why end beforeat point nothing brings smile facethis end sorry writing disarrayed manner feeling really ok rnif u want talk final dayi still thinking good way thisthinking going trip mountains cutting hanging forestwhat think