long time coming depression since  years old  now turning  november decided end th anniversary be sure look back life see fleeting moments happiness followed long periods misery family might find so going mention them time come attempts get help get medication try coping strategies cannot anymored today millionth time called work cannot take pressure today millionth time turned guy online bc men see good time overall depression leads lack motivation keep losing jobs pathetic worthless lonely alone decided call  right roommate away hoping last days good ones ready