story contemplationm ive recently developed alcohol addiction rarely drank prior  months ago suffer anxiety insomnia ive lost job due depression anxiety alcohol basically hung calling sick feel like crap  daughters  amp im divorced fianc love dearly feel like im burden her ive told this basically tells get it ive planned everything far buying rope cousin hung months ago spine surgery got behind support spent  days jail it dont know do dont want die feel like problems would go away dont want children fianc going life thinking could done something ive opened fianc think shes taken seriously dont want die feel like workdays solve lot problems cant bring right thing spent  days alcohol detox cost job went week control im using again ive basically self medicating advice