cant shake feeling im incapable working like normal personi really happy kid know happened sophomore year high school suddenly wanted die work im  depression basically never stopped ive spent last  years going pretty bad community college parttime usually without even job still well classes found today managed fail  classes semester know im doing ive spent time trying get engineering degree absolutely hate classes know options life im exhausted like kids big brother would say why easy things hard you know young joking said stuff like time may internalized it want get way yes im meds  pills every day yes see therapist good although years ive put seemingly every available medication feel like ever really done anything previous prescriber said complicated client feel alone cant comfortably open family friends more high school friends careers real lives ive tried reaching im embarrassed ruins every interaction actually made post subreddit years ago got dumbass telling get ged already said college would mean lot get reply someone actually read post