suicidal half life thinking finally giving inthis going poorly formatted rant apologize advance im  turning  may mo friends lucky get house week depression gets bad often cant get bed im three years behind school currently hospital program includes delegated time school work im brink getting kicked im struggling attend program really last chance help im comes school cant handle school help fucking hospital setting own im fucked also idea fuck get relationship even able people cheating creeps couldnt handle screwed like that words im miserable lonely asshole nothing look back to friends never sort meaningful relationship fallen behind school really want give up ive miserable long really doesnt seem possible ever happy even managed get life together pass high school unlike kids dont know want future ive known long remember wanted enlist military thanks mental illnesses isnt possible hell point living prospects fucked even succeed never asked shit genuinely wish didnt exist life sick fucking joke