told closest person suicidal ive feeling want go even morehe said id selfish causing lot pain people care despite this ive lot longer want stick around lot gone right life including relationship him mattered me also chest post anyone read relates descendence depression told truthfully love care him im thankful everything done including wish helped make come true saying loved want anything happen me changed mood sudden even hold hand talk really im spending night im scared leave hell never talk makes even sad hopeless want kill much sooner personal deadline jan th sorry lack format whatever care much right now