ive thought lots ironically im scaredive considered taking life several occasions reason im scared would effect children ill married father  beautiful children love dearly love same fought depression awhile even knowing st years call it dealdealt basic problems life money amp drugs lead relationship issues lost mombest friend almost yrs ago everything im self proclaimed mommas boy things got worst second family fell apart dad brother sister aunts uncles stop seeing eye eye cause resent ppl reason gone kids know end day wrong thing do phase better days ahead situation mold comparison others get constantly go backwards life matter hard try try stay positive comes point feel like alternatives deep know wanna this feel im running fight even know im making post think ive heard every solution try fix problems zero percent success rate thus far figured cant get worst posting this tldr ive considered redflag lots times never attempted it suffer depression led financial relationship drug family problems