want die ideas successful redflagsaid person contemplating redflag past year point done life want right time said personlast attempt taking bottle tylenol benadryl body hold down tired living life going good alone miserable tired itsaid person  month old son died  years ago followed discovering best friend dead room months later since struggled depression anxiety drugs whole life tired living tired feeling way tried get help nothing works done want ideas thoughts ways said person kill self preferably fast painless first thought try heroin overdose built tolerance know afford enough make kill said person want hear others ideas thoughts