think tried killing first time todayive very rough year chronic illnesses ive suffering from recently got worse lets say depressing lonely life anyones standards past months ive thinking redflag almost daily basis never courage actually anything it today ive terrible mood since woke up decided tie belt around neck tight enough feel substantial pain hard breathe afraid id pass out removed belt felt slight rush minutes afterwards really want again fully understand why strangely also feel little towards particular incident time feel empty anyways may extension that also kind want tell dad somewhat close knows depression know bad particularly care gets upset it please talk someone over pm happened