dont want live dont want diei spent past  years thinking killing myself ive gone paths shouldnt especially  im scared anytime bad habit think get rid comes back worse grade  parents divorced thought would fine however grade  hit started self harming didnt think serious mom found stopped grade  started also started eating thats really started debating killing myself grade  alone lot self harming got really bad also almost never ate got back track little thought past everything thought didnt want killy anymore grade  january year dad killed himself wanted angry amd able yell him couldnt mad him mad noticing especially always me one understood me since self harmed also started drinking deal it times drinking thing made hate myself times almost kill myself almost walked ice melting would freeze drown even though feel somewhat ok still dont want alive dont want deal feeling pain longer cant feel guilty longer im sorry anyone took time read this know im waste time im sorry wasting