know anymoreim married ive married long time pretty bad lot it met best friend thick thin meanwhile husband bad husband great father fall love best friend meet best friend best time entire life yes know cheated know even though husband ok know bad person know made bad choices tell husband prior love anymore want divorce even know take skills money job best friend says ready move  miles me cant sell house etc takes time know says things make second guess everything meanwhile husband trying wanting go counseling wanting fix everything fantastic really different person toward me says like slapped sense want live without me every time touches kisses cannot stop thinking best friend know deep cant alone right now know long going take best friend anything  said things like said make second guess everything tell cant kid kid needs normalcy stability friend says okay cant talk good long while im losing someone love damn much best friend honestly ive always wanted die life since day  shitty  amplified