people meani feel like sort curse throughout life run lot bad people lot bad social experiences today hit rock bottom life feel like people even worse malicious cruel me would like give final blow decisive assault would make falter good human nature awful even family bad me psychiatrist told important support told family positive negative me found difficult understand looked astonishment impression living tragic dark film today everyone turns me one rely others rejoice misfortune even neighbors laugh me bullshit killing myself would people party would celebrate this much hatred unjustified malice towards me case made deeply misanthrope lonely one day manage get nightmarish situation know never able count anyone again friendship dead like sense family want children want start family saw blackness soul people think one major causes depression know goes know reality is know people basically evil selfish rejoice misfortune others