want disappeari know say appart fact wanna anymore wanna die feel like able kill myself im afraid whats gonna happen im honest im  know thats miserable know entire life front me but great continues livinghell girlfriend bestfriend back days said loved me infortunatly say backmore recently asked wanted girlfriend again happy feelings same thought now anymore time goes realise love way love me thats awful feel horrible wanna hurt like first time would never want hurt care much feel guilty theres reasons explained suicidal thoughts appear on  months since restarted cutting myself cuts arms inner tights thought stop but it think ill never really stop know help thoughts wanna disappear know im afraid dying put end life