starting seem redflag rational solution problemsim scared going hell viritually every major religion save hinduism buddhism believes nonbelievers spend eternity hell since theyre mutually exclusive guess everyone equal chance frying end time die mental health issues school trouble financial problems exist anymore dead men feel attend class bills pay whatever comes death different life better worse different risk im willing take now miss  shots take everyone says life taking risks ive depressed suicidal since  fucking years old elementary middle high school adhd aspergers too so aside unable focus anything im socially awkward used known good weird kid funny nice could never convince step family loved them show affection way society understands always kept myself manage succeed survive school somehow ill debt rest entire life anyway survive school ill living paycheck paycheck get shoved nursing home probably live long anyway familys genes include cancer diabetes deadly addiction lovely stuff oldest grandparent died like  meanwhile tons innocent babies stillborn brave firemen get crushed s soldiers get blown shreds oil wars surgeons engineers get cancer nothing happens overweight neckbearded aspie life direction purpose reddit understand man