struggling even struggle pointim sure anyone care thought id share whats going me past days ive feeling really weird especially today  months since planned redflag thought slowly recovering online friends came goals point feel slipping back was thinking ex used much happier feel like nothing ever again want feel normal again want revert depression bad lately though everything really hitting me hate myself hate living abusive family hate fact girlfriend left slandered name resulting reputation ruined hate broken beyond repair normal anymore good go god complex thinking im seperate special powerful rest humanity waiting rise up honestly though really feel lately maybe try committing redflag solution problems death istrue peace livingis suffering think it almost everything life enjoyable removing pain remove hunger food remove thirst water remove loneliness people remove horniness sex cant seem remove negative feelings though lately feel motivation anymore anything people say gets better people made believe someday life big grand turn around story think so