want burdeni want die done life im aware death hurt people truly love me see getting anywhere im lazy apathetic found pursuing path others wanted follow feel death way out aware reaching love would right thing do refuse know them know would immediately give anything wanted want that want manipulate others changing actions holding life hostage im good person even loathe idea faling low become manipulator like that want go silence feel want talk tell grateful everything love family friends love see well am always fine that blessed people care me feel enough never enough simply know is want disappear forgotten death accomplish that know will killing feels close enough