hardly moveim supposed supporting wife im supposed job that whatever reason hate worst though im supposed getting better finally got shit together started seeing therapist met psychologist got prescription anti depressants better much better im not cant get bed im afraid stand ill walk closet pick pistol shoot back head literally difficulty picking phone floor instead picking phone wanted grab cord right next strangle myself hurts fact know could developing great life family im depressed broken it fact know known since sophomore year die hand eventually hurts knowing people ill leave behind little sister wife parents family friends left behind put fucking smile get myself want done way think done dying im failure cant believe im again thought okay im not