notive felt like failure years now peaking got lost job within week match required pace bullshit system despite much try im useless everything even video games supposed fun nothing except reminder complete ineptitude everything move different state family because  im shitty living own lost girlfriend stupid was parents listen keep guilting death would make feel im tired it know reason want live thats card left unfortunately workable plan used live half hour  redflag bridge us now know could do im much coward slit wrists im shitty knots hang myself