selfish want live anymore specifically kill yet want live cant deal ive done feel like deserve live guess explain why i essence forced now sort ex girlfriend  half years sex month ago night prom yes finished high school afterwards friends house house empty girlfriend making out sure wanted sex not asked said want get caught suggested go somewhere else said want get caught said wouldnt agreed went sex things seemed fine later found felt forced violated feels worthless says want live cause able completely say second time issues previous guy relationship never got physical guilted sexual conversations sending pictures etc forgave cause could see trapped cage guilting stuff helped out thats second time feel responsible happened feel like allowed live making want live said victim here know do cant hate hating also wrong thing selfish want cut punish want alive cause did thanks taking time read this