know write thisi cant feel happy ive depression almost year cant get it ampxb whenever something like ask why  need go school  get good job need get good job  earn money need earn money  buy need need buy need  go job vicious cycle began feel pointless point feel like living worthless ampxb whenever get good grades school mum goes im proud you whenever get bad grades school mum goes im taking away phone laptop matter much get stupid number worthless test  considered bad student cant learn fucking literature  even get good grades every subjects  ampxb im done everything mostly myself im trapped mind cant escape even cell open took part online course learned art sales learnt wanted get school guess  took zero action isolated myself noone could even help me ampxb cant live myself im wothy living agree operate principal help help themself cant even help myself even bit whats point livining cant help myself ampxb post jack trades im feeling bit dizzy day cant concentrate well ampxb also im sure want accomplish post felt like writing down thanks reading