another suicidal posthello guys im early s finishing one typical schools country two reasons im writing this dissatisfaction life existencial crisis that let explain deeply real friends gf wanted girlfriend long time feeling loneliness desire loved someone frustrating so problems making connections women so thats selfimage really ok right little bit better hobbies connected computers programming gaming also enjoyed reading books any sometimes try read something really difficult finish book right know fact leave home couldt find person talk something interesting started feel really bad making questions like whats point existence order happy need do following twothree years trying find answers im convinced meaning all were animals without purpose point know create meaning myself work like that cannot create something nothing illusions cannot tried failed cannot try anymore want enter university want earn two dollar hour hard work shitty mcdonalds similar company suicidal attempts pushed harder should afraid heights pain on hard finish im thinking of care anyone like anyone depression cure laziness lack motivation reasons wake morning nothing makes feel good feel anything all expect anyone give right advice ive read many posts topics cant help tell anything know shitty situation serious problems memory focussing things alcohol amp stuff made situation worse sorry mistakes