 year diei keep saying im suicidal im fucking lying im suicidal point ive lost empathy keep living fantasize badly hurt family friends left go im virtually selfdestructing sociopath point whats point trying save im far gone ampxb finally therapist validates ive able trust bullying well sexual abuse suffered kid well urges physically sexually assault everyone around me isolate much possible ampxb im delirious madman shallow husk person wanted rather monster now ampxb lots probably depressed think shitty person chances think hundreds ways murder rape people like do daily im fucking alienated think people hate people even feel like im person anymore depraved ghoul becoming like day ampxb situation life capable getting better all terminal downwards spiral getting worse worse insanity ampxb still faint sense hope want snuff last embers light already light goddamn illusion embracing oblivion thing thats real exist game selfdelusion cant tolerate life anymore fact life even exists begin tragic mistake ampxb last remnant good person let become complete piece shit wants kill hurt anyone outside remaining friends family