attending army getting suicidalalright mandatory enlisting attendance army turn  duration attendance  months problem is cant handle anymore month get treated like shit even follow orders get dissed by different people asked medical care doctor check feet walking hurts lot  days nothingi back home  days tendons ankles gotten swollen barely walk getting suicidal desperate dont know long keep together parents wont allow quitting social stigma however leave here  mandatory army way applied unconstitutional regulations un eu right un eu well country object due personal beliefs also battalioncompanywhatever  way tougher rest country come second special forces only matter hard try get shitted people us object attending want kill person wish hold gun can kill person live without humility let go become part machine keep killing people lose touch friends family girlfriend person deserve get treated such become a man man want be matter much hatred people towards races such nothing pay country made feel like unwanted person cant keep sanity anymore none understands it complications attending these  allowed work public sector  allowed get drivers license country  allowed vote  social stigma want get degree university leave country dont plan coming again ever tldr parents unwilling sign stop attending mandatory army getting suicidal desperate