truthi put long want know story is it youll first person wont lie  tbh still lied things hate most  dont know hell someone someday starting age  became depressed wasnt bad age  became suicidal attempting take life surviving attempt due hook holding rope breaking guess got lucky childhood great compared others utter shite compared well werent poor pretty much anything could want issue wanted proper family anything marriage hardly something would call functional domestic issues home life wasnt best times isnt something dwell on doesnt affect dont care affects day walked house age like  somewhere find mother trying kill herself blood everywhere day never looked hate fact cant understand something thing years later school life never best known people popular kind existed slightly interesting person small group close friends  people rather large group people placed in never cared appearance school really didnt give shit relationship that came later sad time everything life seemed wrong time realised talent literally nothing know of barely got good grades school straight cs average you probably tell quality writing part large nerd call skype played games chatted night life since  however around time started working less pleasant characters shall say took dark places witnessed things wish could forget one topic net dive fear bringing bad memories finishing th form high school top grades ready university also ready die mind back  thing stopping me needed me girl cheated bf me said left me tell next day forget fucking girl looked eyes lied said love you girl fucking took hospital tried take life fucking girl held arms drifted conciseness taxi bled neck fucking girl many things cannot even begin talk them girl much would think insane hell people do person one still care anyone gone decided week tried kill much handle girl told stay away from played mind feelings damn way write christmas day im worried next days come ive realised want thats thing tried month ago two years ago ive posted ended hospital nearly every post wish anyone contact police bullshit run you would put danger myself post asking even live for nothing one hold dear world would miss month two name would fade