feel pathetic for past almost  years ive depressed anxious wanting commit redflag goal dead end summer tonight would perfect night ive looked cant dying scares fuck me dont know feels like worst case scenario go hell plus attempt fails could get brain damage dont know fucking do feel pathetic pussy every option seems painful risky wish could fucking go like that nah plus id like possibility living incase know im asking much something simple redflag im scared dont know do feel like escape death moment feel like without im pathetic fucking dgy tn moment im praying fucking aneurysm kill me hate much dont know im fucking reddit looking essentially nothing 