update  still herea ago wrote talking plan make  wellhere am made it regret wholeheartedly thought things get worse boy wrong i learned things always get shittier one friend decided abandon me today birthday anniversary day girl planned marry abandoned me disliked me shitty personality im depressed deal depression blame her all one thing saving every time verge have sit anniversary birth think fitting would end day know anymore want shoulder cry on want someone hug tell itll ok ive lonely want end