fucking sick everything know even still alive none means fucking thing anyway fucking bored bored fucking deepest depths soul hate alive hate fucking depressed time nothing helps fucking pills therapy it hit three months sober clean selfharm change fucking thingi want numb want go huge drug filled bender go somewhere loud angry music get fucking high forget even exist care dangerous give shit kills me anyone miss anyway cannot even fucking stuck fucking lockdown right now still feel like need something break fucking monotony point getting drunk home cannot listen loud music here cannot even alone here drugs either getting drunk really cut anymorei stuck bullshit time cannot break it stuck thinking ways mix shit up go bender cover cuts get institutionalized break arm fucking set fire something dunnojust fucking sick living want say fuck impulsive shit