feel detached lostive struggled depression ive battled times suicidal before experience crashes month tend last week recover feel absolutely drained emotionally physically  weeks recall feeling genuinely happy ive good days really cant remember period life felt slight bit happiness comfort anyways  months ago started feeling detached almost like watching people live im spectator really tough time enjoying music move emotionally like used to everyday im work always wonder hell even there hate job wonder voluntarily go every morning feel tho lost limbo cant get out cry anymore smile anymore drink anymore smoke anymore like quit those sorta forgot things point life matter if anymore matter when im even sad moment gun near could pull trigger feel emotion least thats way feels completely lost stuck parallel universe seems anyone ever experienced this