supposed really helpor help enoughi depressed longafter surgeries went bad ruined life career periods sort adjusted lower level living met woman suposedly loved tried livebut surgery made worse left went againthen tried survive family memberthen alone another country cheaperi done therapy meds none ever helpedmostly made worse tried disabilitywas denied thats longer option thought could survive somehow country lived beforebut nothing workingmy immigration plans fallen repeatedly health gets worse either cannot afford treatments help sure stay suffering everyone says you fight never heard good reason why it get betterbut liklihood given medical problems root depressionit wont odds better win lotto done years buy lifepay rent foodbut money nearly gone taking enough thought could earn extra working everything shiteveryone ask help says cant done things supposed always costs help fuck supposed do