tired lifehi ill try keep shortish im angel im  ive contemplating redflag know going tonight itll soon ive grown tired life think handle anymore course reason lifes kind mess since  came closet announced family friends gay parents disgusted friends already figured out mostly fine always feeling people like me came out dad would constantly verbally abuse me calling faggot making gay jokes anything make clear abomination him mom that drifted me clear like it even though never said it could tell wished son person family truly accept gay identical twin brother kaiden close stereotypical twins identity crisis everything together actually lot things separately played baseball played soccer student council drama club etc always ate lunch together school play pranks teachers would tell eachother basically everything  family moved went whole new school issues making friends father continued verbally abuse me finally got tired it take it so attempted redflag drank bleach kaiden found me rushed hospital pumped stomach kaiden insisted get help refused decided best thing would move house rented apartment next almost two years went smooth kaiden sharing apartment boyfriendgirlfriend never spoke parents sharing apartment great never really problems then  months ago kaiden got car wreck days later died ive completely lost without him like part gone practically whole reason living boyfriend tried hard help out honestly working mope sleep eat little bit play video games sleep more life meaningless feel pain now kaidens funeral mom said son died dad shot many nasty looks made even gay remarks usual stay whole service terrible im lonely know end it editsince redflag watch id like say im planning anything tonight ill probably fall asleep soon nobody freak im replying