im failure cant end ithello guys signed reddit this im attending vocational school last year one best students year lot bad things happened school startes year parents finally told truth divorce  years telling bullshit truth even terrible thought would be then school started first everything going quite well then close friend mine hes like big brother often call big brother too rough time never told why said know himself pulled him worried much always afraid might something bad which bullshit promised would never something bad long fell mentally ill started going therapy friend got back didnt able go school maybe  weeks started getting bad marks worse marks got worse mental condition got ended going school  months school year almost ive failed almost subjects feel like ive failed ruined life help brother even know bad feel cant tell him wanna ruin life make sad already feel like died thousand times cant die real really want end it want pain stop cant it reason thing keeps big brother hes also best friend wanna ruin life butwhat now therapy going nowhere pills make everything worse friend happy matter cant take easy way out really know anymore