ventjust vent staying edge cliff jumping yet  think people see slut something try best seem attractive something idk psychologist told assumed people thought something even werent  guy wrote sucked dicks donlt understand why always tried polite kind agreable  know think opinions wrong feel guilty thinking like that people feel happy think like happy person feel crazy head hurts cant sleep hope could someone would care lot me day trust cheers everyday me feel desperate know do feel like mediocre worst everyone shit shit nothing want die please something magical make pain disappear want start life magically happy without substances im sorry think may caused negative emotions reader feel like stuck great thing feel better writing thoughts