feel like trashi got banned discord server making redflag threat even though wanted commit redflag  times feel like piece garbage past want die mod never forgave mocking mental health trolling even though wasnt wrong because didnt take help askedwhen gave me declined idk still living like ive said loud want commit redflag cant live world havent done anything dreams ive wasted countless years opportunities worrying act sat ps whats wrong me like one except online friends wish friends girl boy want feel happiness feel love friend even girlfriend im incapable love one wanted me want honestly disappear wanted apologize mod banned forever server finding again hasnt forgave me hope sees message that make him want change cant find willpower within it feel entertained working feel entertained playing im lazy ugly skinny loser feel embarrassed whenever people school ask still friends dont know do actually want become game developer programmer artist animator cant school procrastination want become artist make manga comics cant im worthless want feel love feel cuddling someone handle pleasuring women whod deny quickly boyfriend idk do please someone help me im sorry ive done bad things life pleasuring gym bleachers th grade cheating test th grade idk do feel dumb want end christmas bye guys