feel like cant anymore attempts past obviously survived tired take group  weeks sitting park bench thinking would like end life straight life situations cant survive spent entire first years abused escaped tried make new life turns quite work like that met someone thought safe obviously take away mental health stuff helps turns angry aggressive understand stuff use make feel even worthless friends reach reach times welcome  never graduated university shit job illegal job hate provides shit apartment abusive bf drowning debt cant pay back cant crawl back home hope change afraid fucking redflag attempt making things worse succeeding think im done razor home calling