waste oxygento anyone reads this im sorry bother ive crying last half hour maybe share able finally fall asleep feel like depression getting worse dont really understand why world becomes grey mass care less less anything everything loses meaning me hard see even subconsciousness preparing die idk reverse dont want like know continues redflag eventually thats left nothing worth living for meds dont seem desired effect occasionally help care much much everything sucks despise people find needing dont want need anyone even stopped caring people actually love stopped fighting whats important me stopped wishes expectations existing living thats waste oxygen earth might desperately need