hello guys first all sorry advance english native language struggling suicidal thoughts months need advice problem advice cope situation would appreciated come middleclass family third world country  years ago borrowed savings money family around  interested stock markets wanted earn side money higher education parents especially dad checking updates every month money doing techsavvy believes tell him long story short noob lost  money could tell lost  since huge amount us lied told invested money bucket stocks according current prices stocks told value  both bad good luck ig lied have  money lose invested index funds thinks  worth stocks reality far different although financially well would ask withdraw fictional money thinks have scared shit would find out cannot tell truth lost money  years ago would break lied him cannot hold lies anymore too since every month ask updates hurts mentally suicidal thoughts now cannot take anymore cannot talk situtation anyone guilt shame posting using throwaway account advice deal would appriciated thankyou struggling suicidal thoughts advice needed