source suicidal thoughts depression forever alonei met girl hit well lot common interest anime musici asked date agreedi didnt ask right away messaged  months firstwe went restaurant eat saw movie date magical like dream happy thought finally found someone would love really thought always smiling making eye contact even let hold handbut day went shitshe became distant tried asking another date made lame excuse went ignoring me said fine give upwhy shit happen every female try get withim freaking  year old kisslessvirgin fucks sakei dont think im bad looking take care go gymeat healthy shower every day on top work shitty construction job pay dentist bills also help family bills fuck economyif lovely girlfriend come home hard day work would lot motivated get am every day workis anyone else like mefallen deep depression cant find love whats point living doomed alone forever