intelligence curse lost itim breaking point redflag back mind years creeping front im graduate high schoolor likely fail senior year live life dropout clue go im unintelligent work this might graduate everyday try avoid talking grades parents know ill disappoint further hurts removes time ticking bomb am im smart incredibly so hate it cause much strife years living takes away much could make happy deprives view sort wonder awe leaves rationalizing math science want people see that want see guy enjoys fun intellectual conversations point im considering stopping mental functions ending it sad thing is know almost guarantee succeed another curse knowledge want gone calling redflag hotline simply work lack courage talk someone talking text changed things makes bearable even feel much love towards family see stepping stone covered superglue thats meant hold back help out im pathological liar person hurts feel guilty pisses off lying become ingrained psyche point even let people see real me ever wear mask happiness positive outlooks like things perfect little cracks form may see true self little end day go home fix duct tape glue thats subtly applied make seamless religion never option simply knew better help analytical mind reject life faith simply sit here trudging life one day time hoping might find something help me get look start running along path someplace better theres easier road ends much sooner road give rest go even know want life point redflag tempting time want make things worse people close me im stuck middle intersection others pass by ever manage figure account use here please leave alone reserved almost exclusively positive side treasure dearly try shield aspects life