ruminationsyes contemplate redflag often plenty people life seems getting worse many peoples blah blah could tell myriad selfinflicted tragedies brought me depressed place place dull gray apathybut end mindless optimism encouragement it get better cause totally know life like sympathy really fuck me didnt rape babies wasted time money patience many good people certainly pity poor blind fools care me brings point real bar redflag besides cowardice anyone says person commits redflag coward could healthy dose websters pain would cause family poor little siblings wouldnt understand mother would wreck etc posit hurtful continue surely cant be ask them would prefer alive well yes labor opinion hope last decade taught anything this waste resources clear dont feel like need something especially fantastic deserve life life reason enough keep living satisfied it not burned bridges count soiling academic professional record point see grim shapes nebulous fog coming future mediocrity toil selfloathing existence knowing potential oh crushing pressure expectation squandered it must cause pain discomfort already loved ones so owe keep living owe every distant relative get bummed death go motions life fuck it many millions better come gone wanted opinions hope brigade would kind share them meantime going go calculate many days nourishment wasted tuition could given impoverished child