cant fucking another second thisive wanted kill fucking long tried several times thought getting better lmao wasnt im bad ever hate everything life fucking going anywhere seem make mistake mistake fucking rant everyone else lmao fuck dude guess shitty lives huh feel terrible im going friends care honestly im point really barrier anymore last straw finally happened too thats awesome im trans ftm two years still dysphoric mind nothing changed much thats even worst though lol weeks ago drinking friends house got blackout drunk really bad night im pretty sure someone fucked lmao definitely condom anything even though took plan b think fucking worst thing couldve happened happened theres symptoms it everything sore gross morning after bruises over theres scattered memories someone sex me know consent even did even sober enough stand definitely state to got sexually assaulted  sex traumatic reminder super dysphoria inducing avoid costs done right mind ive nonstop anxiety attacks last week even period year plus ahahahah apparently im unluckiest fucker alive thats fucking kill myself everything goes wrong im sick im sick forcing get motions top it cant even think put name literally retch dysphoria another panic attack skipped school go cry car today cant fucking man even thinking whats happening right makes want go grab knife get one dads guns hell theres plenty lakes around too hard lol ive wanted excuse long ive known redflag cant take care im  state requires parent consent it tell one theyll fucking mad might let get rid theyll literally ruin life afterwards tell them know fuck happened remember consenting it plus physically able this ive got bmi  get periods literally testosterone  fucking years way apparently was im fucking miserable sex even decision im one stuck consequences thats all cant it life nonstop traumatic events ive got hella mental illnesses want fucking deal anymore care enough future give damn recovery im sorry friends sister know fucking break hearts cant fucking go anything else end here