one year ago todaytl dr  almost killed year ago  became homeless  things turned around sorry long postjust lot stuff felt moved share give readwhats five minutes one year ago tonight almost killed myself thinking lot day felt moved share story went lot years wife left another man  years this caught really guard really crushed spirit top it guy left real jerk two young children separation left crippled financially went living  bedroom house owned renting tiny one bedroom apartment even small apartment make ends meet ended going bankruptcy made much money type food stamps welfare money much went exwife court appointed child support  daycare expenses  medical insurance kids cheated still forced pay crippling amount new scum boyfriend unemployment worked ass scum boyfriend used money gave kindle hdtv xbox etc constantly would go  bank account could overdraft account  point pretty depressed hopeless started drinking started kind gradually getting drunk weekend kids weeknights never drank kidsbut became every night which lot nights would get pass drunk still got every morning went work drinking bottle vodka night around march last year basically drank rent money pay rent one year ago night evicted plan  options were  kill yourself  commit crime thrown jail  wake homeless morning went far write notes parents exwife kids could go redflag kids stayed night rough got ready next morning took  rubbermaid containers packed threw back pickup went work incredibly rough hid everyone except exwife she know affected time kids hardest thing nowhere go would go work like normal work would usually go parking lot sit listen radio sometimes mcdonalds sometimes walmart sometimes little park river cant sleep places though original plan sleep walmarts parking lot cannot this found police started driving every  minutes starting pm gas money would drive  minutes rest stop thruway sleep parking lot there money that would sleep apartment parking lot near work could sleep rest stop could sleep  hours apartment parking lot lucky never caught that basically would get next morning go gym membership for  per month take showerthen go work sucked thought killing every night weekends would take kids day beach park whole thing terrible think hid whole thing pretty well almost friends locally relocated exwife parents live hours away bosses never really said anything always clean completely stop drinking situationso anything work performance probably improved hung every morning  weeks family friend found situation comment one kids kids know situation exactlybut comment made friend know something up gave place stay couple months began start things turning around exwife left douche living since split month given place stay daycare costs decreased significantly giving money which longer spending booze friend found place rent small cheap even got month raise beginning year started taking care lost almost  pounds see kids ton now mentally best place possibly ever wanted share story one year ago felt completely hopeless like absolutely way out felt like problem solution probably going something terrible are wait see plays out life many ups downs never know future holds much experience life kill yourself wait see happens things may turn around may not fucksee happens