knowing worst feelingi arrested almost  years ago pbl house arrest im currently probation im completely different person got arrested make one wrong step get life sentence go early termination hearing less week goes way completely dodged incarceration something people get life for everyone keeps telling ill definitely get it ive system long believe that feel like put hopes early termination theres good chance could set disappointment strong would kill myself keep day dreaming im going buy land start farm get away city life person biggest say whether cut free judge person disconnected whats going also judge probation officer double checking im abiding terms probation day go court ask judge call pessimist feel like theres million ways could go bad model inmate matters went prisoner support forum talk case nothing probation officers talking like violate people let judge figure out thats real problem historically tell fight lose give life end taking plea whether something wrong scared right cant handle it tuesday probation officer wants look everything over wednesday judge gives ruling whether qualify early release everyone excited understand im not court system keeps getting wrong me get something armed robbery court kept acting like spawn satan barely dodged prison time judge hated matter did got handed hell sentence deal terms make sense personal situation