cant get loopyou say im puny little pussy bitch scared life look way find dark tunnel light end survived long tried mind vacation way get control stay hibernation sit day bed watching videos playing games eating junk masturbate single moment get trigger zone tried recklessly got worse situation hence anxietyhence mind vacation again cycle cant seem get im starting believe ending all maybe destined option afterall lonely  year old child mom dad dog always believed burden them disappointment studying college later found capacity quit much disappointment would considering money spent college mind vacation often went piss kept seeing glimpses metal blade besides sink casually thought laughingly maybe option cut things go wrong cant get eyes it brought room bathroom feets away desk seriously thinking loosing sleep blood soaked bed picture me mom dad side