talk outive struggling past months nearly attempted october planning go garage guilt thought ruining fiances car deal top funeral preparations thing stopped me im struggling today really badly thoughts like way pull essentially guilting myself fiance close graduating  years needs finish couple months classes now leave wouldnt able finish classes hed distracted push back graduation another year cat special diet pain ass make im one knows make it want anyone else that want inconvenience anyone want here want this want disappoint anyone else already have days like im alive weird sense duty im tired want anymore need advice different ways talk im becoming numb guilt