could kill right without ever firsts lifeive never relationship havent first kiss dont car job house im still teenager every day live care less less things im still high school care them dont think trying die sucks want enjoy youth want childhood want know first relationship would like college would pick graduate high school car id buy finally get drivers license instead im stuck trying cry everyday class im wouldbeagradestudent barely gets past  gpa semester im trying convince everyday overdose wake wondering today day finally post redflag note online text friends teachers goodbye im tired living dont want die want everything stop feel lonely dont want try text call anyone know feel like ill bother ill add worry plate keep buying things online convince wait arrive fill emptiness materialism short span time sadness sets back in cant talk parents dont understand deal depressed child dont think teachers would really want deal break even though gave numbers case needed talk friends arent serious enough comfort me wouldnt know approach told kill myself im trying hard keep convincing live keep burning ive end rope weeks ill surprised manage live th birthday already surprised lived th