id like help seclet say consider current high risk redflag want advice things cant talk anyone know about year ago really bad place really want go detail lets say rejected everyone everything mattered time set deadline within month so number things didnt go way would go end it consider rational person spur moment thing taken months internal debate decide it extremely detailed plan avoid failure correct type pills place wouldnt found done forth was point least completely ready die obviously see things turned around theyre miles better still remember feeling planned death certain done deal cant describe feels exactly almost physical coldness thats need advice stop feeling like this