childhood feeling died  years agoit enjoyed life always there since beggining decided leave age  or died see world boring meaningless existence cant dream job cant achieve this that sometimes imagine peaceful home great big field yard fucking work ass everyday every second would pointless childhood feeling made feel like dream happiness mysterious feeling way could feel sure gets worse year year become even feeling less point fucking careless commit anything illegal hurt badly die longer scares me shoving fork outlet scare me think this is september sister get shrooms lsd dmt kill sure edibles made feel amazing last summer ive long sober drugs even feel like good idea lie mind