wish knew start post a  year old cis white married man live one richest countries world eat everyday sleep indoors employed love wife despite this life especially last months want diei tried therapy medication still feel like meaning life people care truly would benefit deal me gone contact family last two years ghosting friends last  months ultimately know coming think stop iti tired empty know keep going really even want anymore tired pretending fine breaking alone tired trying find motivation errands chores hobbies friends livingi guess last ditch chance counseling friends family able fix me maybe stranger internet words pressure reader walked edge deep breath fall feel like finally bottom