hate myselfim sure anymore ive gotten sick living ive actually started zoning forgetting goes on know im miserable  know details hate family mostly immediate mom dad amp brother tell parents put me brother hates me guess sucks people think kind forced like dont understand why theres husbands family feel constantly judge them even though theyre better hate them hate too guess theyve learned put husbands sake theres me person hate all im bitch aware yet seem unable control it hurt husband daily sometimes notice days suffers silence weve intimate handful times since daughter born   months ago like were older couple   amp  cant touched held theres cuddling hate kissing days thought sex draining hate myself want anymore hate life routine even days get new surroundings cant remember details miss husband hes gone want gone hes here im horrible human being know killed off cry daily think dying daily hope win lottery hope murdered walking street im depressed hate myself