suppose could called anxietyhi im really suicidal still need help depressionrelated thing actually ive never diagnosed mental disorder never hospitaltherapist anything mentalrelated still often feel dull depressed often reason also find hating many people things feeling listless lazy weak lot time life simple im lonely real friends stick internet write poetry also play video games process also meet great people ive one girlfriend long distance relationship that sum relationship  great lasted three years best friend ive ever had also got intimate sexual basically obsessed her seriously mean obsessed  friend else would invest attention towards eventually broke me reasons understand sure still feel sorrow it im one dwell get suicidal it still feel depression felt  quiet dull weakness made never felt like anything happened absolutely reason understand actual depression pathetic laziness like mentioned earlier never bothered visit therapist know now bring two main concerns regarding summary provided  depression put quotes know real not parents believe mental disorders  say im play many video games rarely go outside however young ten would remember feeling like this absolutely reason even social active want know go get checked that ive always thought something random sadness would come inside me also severe anger would feel little things should someone explain dowhere best kind place go would be general stuff obviously since never considered seeing therapist before information regarding that anything know depression would greatly appreciated  strange mentioned earlier girlfriend intimate sexual obsessed too ways breakup im longer contact her longer awesome pictures used enjoy feel different im constantly mean constantly stomach pains kind feeling get vomit feel pressure building stomach throat ive vomitted many times too almost every day it eating patterns always that im also skinny person puking daily good thing feeling however dies thinking her happen see picture her mention anywhere instantly feel immensely sick either throw feel like stuck throat almost completely sure link sexual obsession her still see before sexy beyond girl ever seen etc etc that happen see ordinary picture her immediately get crazy horny really strange new feeling me know possible get horny also feel sick time would like ideas suggestions deal this kind anxiety would be matters im  year old guy know problem big deal really felt need talk receive intelligent advice it would grateful people could help guide recommend things could fix issues oh im also extremely antisocial selfconscious awkward uninteresting im suicidal often ill start thinking reason wishing dead go weird confusing feeling