 watched educational contenti know posting this watching educational video borderline personality disorder really got me finally name feeling thinking feel think way relief finally name horrible pain live every lousy day life known wrong little now see put words like video emotionally cathartic me cried really didespecially talked selfharming people bpd express pain inside cant express way sit big ugly scratches arms fading scars past cutting behaviors cry cry still misunderstood mistreated though always purposei still hurt much care muchand emotions always place love hard fall hard life constant cycle loving world hating world hating broken often ok one moment little thing happensomething normal person might even noticeand sends tailspininto darkness selfhating behavior end trying commit redflag rid torment feel constantly trying hurt familyi love them want pain stop want feel anything anymore cant get hurt anymore me fml borderline personality disorderthere grace god go i want die please let die cant stand pain numb yet crying