say someone feel least say one person one person knows ive depressed long time ive medication  years celexa sucked zoloft always told people knew sometimes felt suicidal would try would give go cried thought wanted try good time experience life long story short got abused raped horrific stuff  cousin tell anyone  family dynamic kinda weird one talks anything important worthless surface chat tell told friend well told self harm first had going years kinda led childhood amazing helped talked hurting shitty twilight letting things id never let feel before told mum year later  ask wanted liked never mentioned conversation friend convinced get therapy but leave best therapist world moved found another one trust eventually gave up ive therapy year went psychiatrist thought bipolar apparently im not things gone downhill fucking fast zoloft changed life things good felt like need purpose loved here ive fallen fucking disgusting hole cut needed stiches didnt get feel worthless feel like one ive got one talk thought did everyone asked open up tell tell tell people make easier me keep telling people would get easier somehow fucking huge worms opened promise alright still open nearly  years alright friends anymore anyone head filling thoughts before know ill it know ill question ill it know redflag last option everything everything hurts me makes feel guilty causes shit load pain cant feel without wanting end way feel different try work childhood hurts need people help otherwise get overwhelmed it fucking horrible imagine happened let alone acknowledge actually did feel like time coming think cut try make feelings less strong pretty much smoke green every day try dull depression strong black cloud im tired im sorry long thanks read it needed say it