thank hellow u first important exam semester friday already decided im gonna day  yay need study god hate exams well mean  hours ones sit facing computer paper pencil completely fine prove knowledge worth people judge me im basically worthless thank you luckily or luckily mom love mom mom take lot strong pills condition get little drunk mix together okay ive read okay mean dead obviously die lot pain probably deserved too well actually wanted say thank all ive multiple accounts never made post like simply im pusspuss scared regretting ive talked many amazing people similar thoughts mine  people ive grateful knowing even tho lot way better place met  hope well get party together multiverse happy free something like that  people whove really changed thoughts lot stuff yeah subreddit beautiful place harsh time tho really given lot insight talking people really made feel something first time long time thank that even care wonder went wrong life lemme try explain long story short ive always shy unconfident alien caring lot people seeing me school always important part life thing kinda good  wanted best quite long time everything perfection got straight as motivated  god knows why got see high school  year period university everything changed like girls class felt like much older me drinking partying time lives me reading books biggest worry people like me tried become good enough anorexia hit hard brain used ruined me started fainting class museums home etc fine still getting good grades still everything perfection end nd year parents teachers decided healthy i mean looking back now pretty damn destroyed oh well telling take break ruined everything strong enough keep going felt like biggest failure biggest failure still am still feel it lost motivation still day wish could go back just me started taking classes last winter ive never felt worthless find everything pointless everything went planned would ready uni next summer heh guess not study astrophysics exact tho space always thing felt safe  darkness stars planets buddies oh lets forget black holes too lemme real great life amazing supporting parents best brothers thats thing ive already peeked life go downhill fuck over keep failing ill start losing people good person take everything granted feel guilty deserve here every person would grateful position im not dream more want multiverses wanna travel space time wanna touch stars okay touch them know mean hope well know else say even know anyone reads this thank do oh one last thing please please send favorite songs would appreciated need blast ears good music till moment die thanks ampxb