wrote note bought rope im watching tutorials tie hangmans knotim losing god mindi really wanna die day im slowly becoming convinced way pathetic life ive depressed  years theres end sight soulcrushing pandemic worst is tell anyone irl feel theyll send back icu could get sick virus die anyway could also stuck people much unstable me mercy another bureaucratic powertripping doctor looks patients enduring worse death imo ive holding long can give one good reason keep holding further