terrible time yearwife lot trouble lately lots fighting arguing screaming shes recently resorted calling names belittling me condescending attitudes often not overall distant detached basis shes claimed cared appreciate everything shes done past  years marriage terrible time nd year marriage unfaithful admittingly retaliation smacked around bit cleaned act cheated too  years ago weve individual counseling put marriage counseling recently ive swallowed pride suggested marriage counseling definitely need it doesnt want go claims ill play victim tell sob stories dont think understands counseling would listen sides completely objective fast forward today mid fight told needed break arguing would leave give space come back yells wanting leave later tells leave kicks house tells wants divorce locks bathroom comes out gets video game goes straight talking guy shes weeks now sitting room contemplating ending it dont gun hanging way id like found pills well want painless quick seriously jumbled mess dont even think post made much sense want drive far fast see happens idk help anyone