please donei just much found husband told brother wants divorce me hes hiding money lying least emotional affair coworker autistic daughter acting out  year old daughter going puberty im major depressive episode ulcers im pain time one person want love want please seems completely unfulfilled me want fall asleep never wake up gun cant that always pussed cutting myself never get free fucking moment alone car work want traumatize kids mess basically thing holding back point want ruin christmas cant figure way thats going make home scene death just cant anymore im supposed start new pdoc soon even know it hate me know deep everyone around must hate too nothing worth saving