tired everything going through unmotivated want life end thing keeping alive material purchases give temporary happiness distracting playing shooter games daymy ex keeps popping life kills me distraught keep knows hurts much went crazy emailed like  accounts begging unblock simultaneously telling never talk again extra suicidal unhinged really want kill front him thinking months nowi started taking mood stabilizers two days ago sick everything think hold long enough see meds helps me dropped useless therapist last week toohow stay away someone bad also makes happy want die sleep