moved back dad help fight cancer mistake  hes ruining lifemy relationship dad never amazing worked hard improve moved out relationship mom similar got lot closer passed away things improved lot dad  started actually listening say instead lecturing time seemed care life even though different hes interested in got diagnosed cancer hes scared hes angry hes freaking out hes taking me  months ago so ive never felt worthless now im honestly ready end life hes torn everything built moving out overcame depression social anxiety regular anxiety panic attacks become functional adult im back pit despair except im also buried credit card debt income im trying get job hard huge gap employment wonderful supportive girlfriend much became angry frustrated ruined things her left blame leaving right thing take herself something could never do im broke  years old one nothing going me cant spend another  years rebuilding myself im strong enough im tired hurting im tired pain want over want peace care killing would hurt dad hes fuckhead deserves hurt months ago started hoping either cancer would kill hed go remission hes lined another  month cycle chemotherapy one knows means fuck me im lost ive lost myself person awful cant live ive become person today deserve anything good im worthless im hateful im angry im asshole hurt people hurt bend backwards take care asshole father owe anything to wish id moved another country money workfromhome job late life future