recently came realization two different people me one guy genuinely make people smile laugh make people feel comfortable heard important guy kind awkward little nerdy goofy hes earnest loves smile see others smile that told makes vulnerable realthen guy hes dead serious speak others want spoken to waits closest hurt him happened past immensely lonely feels like burden others sometimes indulges alcohol food numb pain inside headthat second guy winning lately could describe depression would it feels like someone else inside me know truly am feel like burden so love her hurt life loved ones expect always meit sucks know treating depression involves recognizing sorts things still feel like living unbearable cross bear sometimes feel like losing smile