gave long time ago choiceabout year half ago quit job job  months started getting depressed suicidal quit full intention using savings killing myself planned going big spending spree never happened instead nothing spent year half waking browse web was is spend lot time im almost completely broke able pay rent anything january ive made real attempt get job  ive applied  places year half ive unemployed options me much hope getting job short amount time even supposing get something id miserable right now jobs available would low end jobs horrible employment history having taken year work job  months another year half off lack references see much else know friends family me many friends barely hang have mean much consider miserable ill work nothing else enjoy free time id go work miserable days off id browse web thatd it see point really matter killed died way friends family would still miss same seems like made choice long time ago see way money rent  shelter food cant live like that cant live unless way supporting myself