want love people butif experience people past ish years going is going past days kind teetering edge wanting truly end everything but im still scared afterlife ever able rest never bothered again listen everyone money money lets whatever want move pos parents house never look back buy sex people hold shit head relationships contribute something loved otherwise lazy annoying piece shit thats waste space thats love according society loved are standards hard work teams hold others to reciprocate people ever keep promises you know else say anymore everyones going say fault anyways believe capitalist people eat alive shithole website run nerds survive job retail think theyre menial work like play video games watch anime shit responsibilities goals outside shit too wish someone would prove wrong doubt will im always told pray god never seek actual help something wrong wanting keep paycheck something wrong placing value human lives anything wrong believing things make life worth living yes matter snowflake must die collective cause organizations giving money relationships must left pick reference social cue go school us growing up part clique friend group etc working hard paying bills im responsible for making work time supposed privileged according people cant handle wrong considering ending everything whats wrong makes unlovable