every person life supposed love betrayed completely fucked over npd mother grandmother two year relationship npd woman  years older completely broke ability trust two faced friendsis me really deserve this alone now one person even much talk to post looking anything venti reaching limit thing capable laying bed drinkinggetting high cannot even watch tv movies nothing interests me one show watch sick itscrolling reddit makes feel like complete shit myself everybody good something cannot even try anymore families abuse made feel worthless shitty cannot even put words feel mentally paralyzed crippled cannot even bare face talk anybody feel worthless ashamed existence really deserve worst part badly want die hurt cannot coward pussy method see scared impossible right access opiates benzos anymore ill continue sit suffer finally get hands need fucking sucks pray kind freak accident terminal illness fucking mercy me fuck life unfair