getting motivation something lifei chronic depression social anxiety life long lack motivation thought started getting passion weightlifting would set back right track and felt like awhile ive gone gym like  times entire year took time school get better get treatment made depressed isolated im situation made new friend years ive single entire life im going new school soon even though social anxiety makes school miserable experience trying read motivational posts watch videos sucks know way turn life around better start proactive it cant convince even worth it ive depressed long become part me almost like im addicted depressed point effort would take even put slightly better place seems insurmountable cant stop thinking much easier would kill myself desire anything become anything fuck tough like want die time desire better life think lucky sheltered am make feel like im ranting entitled manchild something