im gonna end myselfi share bit story might bit long skip end want explaining how born france village countryside mom dad big sis little bro me lived pretty normally friends relatively happy family little shit time always getting hurt stupid shit think it maybe parents thought autistic something always kinda special bit emotional maybe lets carry on th birthday moved place job issue issue make friends again im bit weird thats okay time goes pretty much peacefully house bit unhealthy always getting sick father built new house were moving out new house pretty clean cool and parents divorcing always remember moment two siblings mom dad yelling standing crying well something special lot couple getting divorced consider special case occurrence destroyed me think root mental state today like thought maybe bit emotional mom took us moved another village again seeing dad every two weeks told us dad one wanted divorce multiple times talking dad another school again something different hard keep classes hard time make friends im talking less less peoples nothing special part except two things bit lonely disgusting scutigera living house creeping out hate things finally turned  time middle school collge france time make friends and good im even lonely im starting get bullied pretty clich right im weird kid talk much many friends kid nobody wanted team sports always getting trashtalked used it found pornmag ground time furious stroking great times im  now highschool time yayyy shit before bully cool im moving dads appartment much closer moms house big sis moving too im  now im getting degree baccalaureate im starting electricity technician formation im working gendarmerie the french countryside police force reservist getting bit money holidays im still technician formation there really anything big void want opinion shits going pretty quickly point turns mother cheated father father knew led divorce mother brainwashed siblings years father knew it know truth big sis lil bro believe it big sis confront father yells yells lot big sis packs belongings leave appartment never heard ever again dad saying big sis raped grandpa mother side little fuck going on lil bro attending school anymore hes still mother hostile relation father father going confront lil bro mother smell danger im going him mothers house lil bro pulled knife threatened father me saying things like fault shitty life things like that were leaving place im never going anymore hello depression old friend im tired shit im getting here im getting ground army forces  months formation nice  months formation sport coach break finger  year rehabilitation im fired army going back fathers appartment working pretty far another appartment im alone  year total solitude started take opiate medecine fun im bit alcoholic too severe depression suicidal thoughts everyday courage take action end rehabilitation fucking finally fuck ground forces im going air forces im going avionics mechanic job pretty cool bunch im fun formation easier ground forces thats good covidchan incoming  months total isolation again days worsening dark thought wanna get up wanna see anybody wanna eat still gotta strong father sad end confinement going back base wanna this want end this getting  month holiday  weeks base hell going back appartment im tired give shit anymore ampxb ampxb next sentence end it im  im tired really tired im alone want meet people anymore even father still make friends never grirlfriend still virgin state mental nothingness feel anything anymore even anger bit money im distributing bit random people without noticing aka mailboxes found random place far away people countryside im packing lot alcool gasoline go place im gonna drink till cant even think anything im gonna set car fire thats want finish let burn want disappear ampxb really badly written sorry like said could go end im still sure take action  august thats sure ampxb thanks reading