sudden bursts suicidal thoughtsfor days getting intense suicidal thoughts day mostly alone home enjoy solitude anime  tv series playing overwatch seem enjoy night hard fall asleep cos mistakes made get filled head sometimes sleep  days straight amd sleep rd day exhaustion asked father want visit psychiatrist said bad habits  sleep fine third day sick cant let go doc sleep problems open thoughts want kill self people medications  coa side effects  would gladly side effects mental condition head keep hearing voice die cant keep going like failed subjects college able get job  depend father money going give things friends next birthday  august leaving world