im fucking mess human beingat end fucking rope rn years fucking shit made depression worse earlier year grandad killed via overdose scattering ashes next week fucking horrible think about tell girlfriend  person thought could trust whod support matter what ill postpone coming see ldr tells sick sick getting hopes let tells fuck off top ive struggling year solvent abuse result stress levels im probably gonna fail end future get relentlessly bullied college get called shit like school shooter psycho im fucking quiet im fucking sick it nothing ever good enough anyone access stuff id right right cant im stuck fucking loop things getting bit better going shit again want shit end im fucking waste oxygen im writing sit alone bathroom half bottle jager deep got numb pain even aint fucking working