confused went hill years ago often feel depressed nervous trapped feel like everywhere go spread depression made plans fun stuff future literally nothing coming feel useless cant anything physical anymore intense back pain thought blowing brains river problem gun think make past age  honestly  say entire life ahead dont talked many friends say im good person whatever fuck else never sufficient answer reason hand gun bullet stated above nothing meeting friend go around country little bit would end living street wish loneliness upon anyone really feel like nothing left me one people know irl genuinely cares die that aside gun option could get rope hang balcony pretty easily worth living anymore die end anyways