reaching end road hereim   life provided protected point skills idea fend myself got yet another underpaid shitty fast food job far fast paced keep up every minute every day like constant anxiety attack work  worse want curl ball die every second it coworkers constantly ridicule help either last long job ill go exact thing another minimum wage meaningless job family basically keeping alive hoping kill point feel like theyve begun accept potential reality whereas saw impossibility im self involved felt like would destroy worlds away parents couple years think theyd able move on yeah unpleasant weve people family commit redflag like never even happened even ruin lives like theyve got much longer suffer anyway know selfish father serious heart problems last decade half mother frankly oblivious naive seems checking mentally anyways live sibling good bit older life together making great money great could help death theyre hoping move together next several months means need move out  name not mention k debt credit score low s literally friends prospects places get room anything everything seems lining up like theres thousand signs pointing death never wanted kids give shit significant other frankly live long life ill likely die alone addict andor alcoholic theres issue alone prefer solace sad picture know ill it might pawn phonecomputer shotgun kind disconnecting family anyways maybe weeks months relative silence reduce sting them say constant guilt feel suicidal them would done long ago without hesitation wanna work ass  hours week still live paycheck paycheck wanna contribute considerable percentage life time making massive soulless corporation even massive swallow peoples lives too care improve whats point create chemical reactions brain convince continue contributing society interest part of zero interest learning anything anything meeting anyone im alive sake familys emotional health im gonna reach breaking point think itll long now