mom told drop dead wishes born said wish go live javier ex boyfriend controlled selling drugs said said going live said give fuck think care happened rushing go walmart thinks going rain waiting cross highway said standing said highway expect hit started telling die wish never also stared wearing shoes creasing fit small feet said wear shoes creasing got mad went home went bathroom opened pill bottle loratadine mg put  hand slowly raised hand mouth could started bawling eyes tired life born poverty feel trapped   trying hurry go college even seems impossible gpa also way back home walmart breakdown think actually said killed wrote letter says ya happy mom huhhhh sorry long need vent need advice xoxo anne tired life mom