feel anythingi felt anything years recently got boyfriend hes really nice best person world nothing changed tries help theres much do motivation im always sad depression social anxiety mild aspergers borderline personality disorder want kill idk yet im really close though options get better think would better bf since say mean things mood swings could find someone treats better want keep living maybe could keep living stay alive solely least could happy know would though feel like id need motivation id happy that know option is loves lot reason know really want leave him really know im asking anyone advice would appreciate it