im angry parents forcing livei know love lot feels selfish im probably selfish one know im suicidal tried attempt earlier year wasnt serious supportive im mental health services theyre nice want nothing it im medication mum administers every morning evening meant mood stabiliser nothing me dont want hurt anyone dont feel compatible life even though know everything live for sound like brat genuinely feel resentful towards them makes want talk them dont want say anything hurtful im tired guilt tripping time try bring want die probably makes feel bad helpless response generally people worse you would break them sinful etc get it brought world many hopes dreams happy successful life want out could argue cant tap want to get life beautiful future full potential etc feels like bs feel detached reality almost attempted last week meticulous plan sorted finances picked outfit wrote notes bought presents spoke good friend without telling felt suicidal saying mental goodbyes friends felt renewed purpose stay alive lasted two days keep planning things live for follow disappoint people involved dont want ruin holidays upcoming birthdays making sad absence would cool finish uni project prove can theres good window april realistically plan may work it winter get drift