sorrows young wertheras write eyes burning tears secret relationship girl strictly religious first big love sex countless times love til death broke year ago told church done excommunicated year got back month already engaged another guy oh god much hurts want walk open door death grandma died last year alzheimers mental illness screamed hours hours pain soul stress excommunication seeing suffer spiralled similar mental illness strong depression ive lost money cannot concentrate live parents know do feeling much pain see way out  ache love had feel terribly lonely betrayed worthless always told her i love nothing ever say think ever change that anything me already deserve loved lifetime see really meant that need someone tell going normal again even takes medication going fall love loyal woman never leave bond deeper woman although seems impossible well great kids fully back laugh cuddle whatever comparison going have