friend deathever since young feel like ive strange connection death cat would mutilate kill small animals leave yard would find would look it didnt really feel anything it would decay wanted watch it middle school cat died killed coyote hes death first felt remorse for missed him grandma passed away well didnt feel much day funeral kind would often read together put family dog horrible cared lot grew me next old family cat died peacefully home old age sad happy could pass peacefully soon got sick infection spine think sounds bad was didnt talk knew could die something went wrong could pass away hospital  already coming terms fact might die recovered wish hadnt got new cat died killed coyote possibly fisher emotional support died next new dog stella got bone cancer suffered months decided put down hated seeing much pain could nothing her felt helpless im  still people life love often wish would died hospital wish closed eyes never opened again im afraid dying im afraid pain death cause feeling ill seeing death ahead me life is whether hate love it everyone know love die one day feel tired feel numb wish died 