hey reddit times gotten harder daysits  months since love life committed redflag hands still tremble type this hard keep pretending outside world ive since episodes depression lasting hours others day two none like im going now ive tried kill failed failure something new me ive failing whole life hurts looking people normal life cant it know saying head life like driving car like taking train get direct train buy tickets destination think got one way ticket  months ago good reason carry useless existence logical brain telling carry emotions telling ive enough im work im tearing apart inside cant take anymore