lonely without son feel awfulfor year ive without son one me ive severely depressed since  crying time never wanting talk others along threatened people nobody defend me parents strict thing keeping happy fantastic grades childhood finally escaping horrible people get life felt missed much young much missed horrible things done others ignored depression instead moved happy life getting job lawyer stories would get knew job help keep going amazing meet many new people keep great financial position adopted son never good childhood focused amazing one kept happy young boy actually looking me good life throughout time interested politics always told leader one day everyone happy joined military  knew reminding great person hell become butdisappointinglywith gone feel lonely get reminders past nobody else either cant sleep sometimes ball eyes thinking things missed now ask help know is surely someone would know problem is firearms afraid able stop use end life