feel foolish posting here well much suppose want go bad things life boring one wants hear itits selfish take peoples time could helping someone else someone talk to think talk things anymore making worse ruining them matter much protest am much would better shut mouthanyways relapsed hard last night even trying stay sober point whatever kind proud havin super new wounds felt good always feel shitty telling friend like keep lot them do make happy everything getting worse might well write suicide note believe shit want anything people hold onto hopes keeping memory around keep trying yk body makes hard know want now  sure work unsure when tonight  sometime soon want go though anything anymore whatever going live probablyfill empty everything blood n alcohol lolmy life going go anywhere body ruined future hurting person staying around for reason like final gift everyone around me ig surprisedf come back memorable enough thought long lol   