july thtoday th anniversary losing father redflag every year fantasize something honor memory help people considering redflag never do always felt like could somehow share pain heart world nobody would ever end life prematurely again every year feel guilt able save father every year feel guilt able save you are ive drank whiskey like beginning every july th time ive made mind im going try tell you anybody care life anyone world care about please it cant fathom ways taking life change world life never same nothing good been miss father much would give anything back  years wish could explain it hope somebody reads decides give life least one day people would leave behind know important really are fathers favorite band steely dan when demon door morning more major dude would tell you