mom teammate life died suddenly unexpectedly   father alone redflaged life loss handing things without will one person close me spends time present mess me unable communicated currently almost  months somehow feel worse week death lot regrets relationship know human deserved life got given more hate knowing life went back nothingness born want die think ill reunited her want die without anymorei  days shy shd  days struggling tonight alternatively want drive away city turn phone day stop mourning daughter invisible girlfriend tired pet parent ill animals lawyers client executor etc truly believe ill take one day maybe ill give amount time had sometimes see make long though know love things loved passed even love foolishly gave lot heart others it energy want advice solutions thank reading mom died finding difficult keep living