tried kill twice now one quite recent back may cut late night mother woke found me first thought done accident kitchen seemed concerned however told done purpose instantly become upset seem concerned way angry upset way like inconvenient her wounds horrible bad point hospitalization concerning deep mom told put neosporin go back sleep told feel safe asked call someone take somewhere told bleeding one could anything me told fine attention first thought crazy scared right able go maybe subconsciously attention texted cousin next day check doing weird stuff made sad mother continues act like everything normal talk since bring gets mad always says i care grow up move out always tells sensitive emotional reason seeking attention moved away college september parents insisted come back october covid arguments always bring up telling stayed there want leave close moving away next year college seems like closer get leaving worse thoughts become scared might happen me want relationship mom bad really love her seems like want one treats much worse younger sibling hurts bad truly feels like would care want able it know need help difficult form support regular life hate venting friends serious topic want scare burden them making wonder okay ya knowi feel sad time counting days try leave whichever comes first know make better