want kill even know whymy life good mother loves love her friends love me wonderfull boyfriend love too go law school hard stresfull home really serious problem little problems while mostly economical problems nothing impossible overcome yet find crying everyday im sad time im alone okay im around friends laugh tell jokes boyfriend im happy everytime im alone start crying started even public sometimes public transport example cant stop even know im crying sad cant find single reason want like this want live life happy every time like want disapear times tried kill backed off mostly mother cat mother would left alone think would kill want happen want happy sometimes feel like cant live anymore know do try stay possitive tell lot reasons live seem work try new things find new hobbies distract think bad things nothing works feel like im getting worse everyday want tell friends boyfriend know would worried cant help me know do even money go therapist ive like years now bad cried times week thought killing often like said gettin worse pregressively since couple months every day same crying   times day even know describe feel like sadness frustration depends mostly that exhausting feel like this mannage stop crying relax feel tired like single drop energy left still go school every day eat normal things do think im really bad im afraid someday get tired kill myself want happen know do english first language actually third one im sorry wrote things bad expressed bad know may problems grammar im aware lot people may situation me would really grateful could give kind advice like manage feel better stop sad whatever could try see helps too thank reading