yesterday finally great time lot shitty days cooking listening favourite music feeling good mother came music stopped started feeling like always knife hands thought stabbing would stupid shit live someone like mom  empathy people also hypocriteshe always told us kind people judge appareances said sisters taste clothes like going carnaval costume partyshe always told us lie hide truth always lying dad telling need money school something dad send money evaporates something she lot shoes closetshe always told us violence solution clearly remember hearing threatening sister saying would break face listen obbey also remember day came form work hit thrown trashshe always told us trust bothering lot care anymore thinks smoke weed something seriously person since child refused alcohol every time offered himshe also told us care us always ther hear hep us said wanted calm got mad started yelling asking reason like this said care fake when get home work want smiling hug me said almost everyday ask something tell need help blah blah blah always says no want talk would get even worse morning made wake  cross whole damn city her arrived place waited  minutes told needed could go home wtf knows school wanted disturb me fortunately see next  days hospital showed way going visit her forgot write loooot things started feeling worse leave everytime mom near want stab knife