angry sad want scream cry want hurt myself break something cannot fucking handle thisi hate fact still waiting therapy originally waiting hear scheduling learned counselors could handle schedulei work till pm monfri supervisor said make work matter what opened schedule think going hear anything back themi need way cope emotions want able cope used think could getting hit every direction realize handle break hurt myself promised would again know doi tried watching youtube tried smoking vape would considering trying play games probably punch laptop go walk end punching wall make work life harder since need hands even considered writing poetry coming head fuuuck want something regret cannot even jerk off porn free now use imagination would probably rip dick off sitting here numb feeling once scrolling reddit even reading posts barely feel arms considering going getting pack afraid use cope once use cope end sad lonely drunk actually try kill myselfi got nothing right now cannot even talk friends this secretsnot mine cannot know even talked someone would probably understand try twist things around argue actually happened need that need feel better head fucking noisy