want live another week maybe two longer absolutely necessarythere one thing life meaningless terrible girlfriend serious long distance relationship since little one year never seen person literally fuck everything life contact started casual made terrible mistakes mistakes probably able fix able forgive for know them tell want chance us actually together hate practically everything life myself seriously considered killing last months since keep becoming depressed possible life thing look forward to think able survive get professional help forgive me probably wont obviously cant tell that cant risk causing think committed redflag know anyone lives close me stick around little clear way forgive avoid risk sure completely 