friend edgehey guys friend bumpy ride past  months one premier individuals fast track fame lost everything lost job girlfriend alienated many friends still support mostly stemming mother trapped basement never leaves bed cant even watch tv painful hallucinates regularly become extremely angry every time sees people becomes angry violent thoughts pent anger frustrated situation loss control loss purpose seems like thing anymore text mother horrible things ready die hes made preparations sends constant updates date time plans it stopped listening everything say uses whiteboard vent run horrible thoughts tried every form treatment mother desperate run therapist therapist psychiatrist psychiatrist severe treatment centers around med therapy compliant nothing seems help one seems understand matter drifts madness hospital before blames hospitals much suffering written notes doctors hospitals blaming anguish and mother know call copshave hospitalized know means stop talking us left alone that anger would inspire would threatening mother loss do im loss shared plans theoretically another months guess cant describe threat immediate im feeling little helpless stuck tracking moods know im guess ive seen community reacts looking guidance