gotten worsei posted half year ago breakdown unfortunately things gotten much better motivation anything learn work out socialize last week even interfered job putting brink getting fired year ago thought wow ever got fired job id probably kill myself real talents nothing praised for im  still know drive im motivated enough ive started going doctor issues im antidepressants seem harm good id give anything kind motivation anything hell cant even kill right eat whatever hell want hope kills faster im sorry comes scattered ive recovered fever im extremely sleep deprived mind last days ive sick bed cant stand anymore