feels like rushing endi feel rushed anxiety killing me going go working trip san francisco make money able work months still sick pain mostly unbearable feels like hours non painkiller related time day get things need done ive sick body aches approaching  months doctor multiple times visit nothing thought beginning flu basic blood tests nothing keeps coming back killing feel awful top preexisting medical issues chronic pain feeling like gall bladder attacks sometimes every day im honestly freaked moment think would good idea go work trip need help ive tried schedule doctors appointment another doctor try see get second opinion current doctor nice working out total  years sick  months flu like body aches stop tracks really second doctor called see prescription painkillers hes doctor town cannot afford leave town medical appointments people unreliable flat cant afford gas spent left savings january vet bills put dog due stomach cancer feels like snowball like situation feels like taken away cant go anything due fear death thought could family members even father take care of hell like cant sleep anymore like semi normal person even thing gives sense accomplishment lately playing world warcraft pain hate existence much driven crazy wish something could clear path person could help get shit taken care people vicinity indifferent think need buck fuck nothing go day reaction medication sign weakness im tired im sorry mess