know talk try say everything thinking i post since anyfriends would listen talking this since  thought would better dead  hate appareance in past  hate pretty much everything i  years old never kissed think anyone ever like way something really upsets  hate worktelemarketing feel important anyone  try help friends anyway feels like presence inconvinience  people seem ignore  like i need it one never it feels like shouldn alive draging even though dead already  kill afraid much hurt  caring much anymore  planning end soon need alone home i want everything end feel terrible almost time