something lost itfreshman year college group friends would always hang talk to either another part country life intersect anymore try join new groups im always outside looking in getting ignored part one group could fit wont see people know getting relationships sex obviously probably never either matter much want to know everyone looks back college fondness feel life peaked freshman year hate life now see getting worse im  now know it ill  year old friends virgin never held girls hand nothing fun look back college   whenever finally die like school im starting like work help seems like everyone else lives friends stories experiences im sitting wasting away every time try make new friends amounts nothing see point going know theres shit loneliness failure compared others rest life also older get feel humiliated never sex relationship ive using ok cupid lead anything reminds one would ever want me know rambling hope someone understands seems like would best get run train avoid shit