feel depressed lostthere days life feel useless lately ive felt like life real know feel this ive tried cope drugs year smoking half pound weed month thought would help didnt really know type life feels meaningless attempted redflag twice now second attempt landing hospital ended mental hospital days birthdaythe odd thing actually enjoyed last day cuts wrist wear bandages weeks cuts healed throughout weeks people school would ask obviously knew never said anything started community college failing misriably old college northern california recently moved back home certain situations forcing move time im sorry rambling know write since feel depressed anxious lately hands actually shake sometimes im anxious times memory lately shit smallest things get angry idk why