hope boyfriend see thisi cant bothered make throwaway account subreddit even though thats safe thing boyfriend reddit risky anyway wanna die point everything going shit everyday even though nothing particular happening guilt things ive done slowly surely creeping intensity little high point reason actually waiting opportunity either blow world someone else literally nothing painlessly kind wake everyday wish would dead point going long time still would stretch telling nice life boyfriend future nowthe world dying wanna die even want future gone care want out unbearable amount consolidation future plans gonna get unless somebody takes fucking place even know im posting wanna bother anyone know anonymity reddit people people subreddit gives comfort cant judged time told one caused this even though true fault im shit nice hear someone tells stupid kid know many things done wrong past immature preadolescent brain actions held time