depression taking life family relationships want diei even know say know need say it ive pushed away everyone thats ever meant anything me get hurt easy everything seems numb bleak know myself slept class day accident could think climbing third story dorm jumping ive wanting hurt badly hard live people just left partner love much left them cant cry feel like horrible human being excuses way am id really rather die keep feeling like this keep thinking future seemsgrey cant hold job cant hold relationship cant stand enough come closet worst part everyone thinks im getting better ever since moved college think dying everything hard me cant stop time im currently crisis ive year self harm free think im point need go hospital im afraid disappointing people think im great