planning swallow lot sleeping pills tonight would like know info lethal dose effects body survive procedure etchi anyone reading this first post reddit really know works anyone read time really hoping so mentioning redflag triggers you sorry please stop reading ill quickly explain backstory get point please know serious im telling whoever reads life sympathypity however suppose attentionupvotes get commentsadvice im looking anyone experience medical knowledge tell repercussions body follow plan thank advance im  female secondyear university student well smaller university first year transferred bigger one took  classes  labs realized much late drop  taking two now two exams tomorrow know pass feel sick embarrassed time care trauma abuse loving home supportive family good income parents basically excuse except here time know seeing psychologist father paying for couple weeks really helping lied asked im suicidal surprisingly easy apparently im good liar wanted doctordentist like parents like friend aspiring be current events failing semester idea want be thought abovesmarter everyone high school held apart spent lunch library went straight home made three friends lost touch  one pretty pathetic parents paying everything including dorm longer using classes failing know got here know im lazy think covid situation really brought issues light like lonely am really try fell behind fast september struggling keep every since procrastinate lot well motivation contact anyone except family weekends roommate dorm really connect her spent time bed watching moviesyoutube blame hate myself ive done far think could hate painneedles started dull knife making cuts along arms nothing severe switched bladescalpel thing supposed used cutting paper realized dull begun bought package razor blades day thin bendy hard get good grip them yesterday advanced down river cuts first time cant go deep bc pain id say made past skin fatty tissue pretty shallow half cm cm wide though hoping taking something numb pain help commit idea severe be lucky fortunate never hospital many times conditions volunteering high school took lot antihistamine pills checked er afraid going die nothing happened take enough time hope will plan bought bottle vodka pain  packages sleeping pills cant tell name theyre car still razor blades  packages  pills think  mg diphenhydramine hydrochloride each package advil sleeping pills  pills amount remember correctly math correct  pills x  mg   mg   g assume lethal dose ive done research mainly reddit still cant find lethal dose is know people survived attempts made drink charcoal control pissshit admitted psych ward lots needles think could take embarrassment that something kill me permanent brain damage damage liver happen me skip pills try cut deeper im using clip hannah baker  reasons inspiration ironic bc cringe whenever watched cut deep might take bed try sleep drive car park its winter here take anyone finds me parents embarrassed phone able call ambulance second thoughts anyone tell effects     mg etc really know truly want die believe god know would go hell im coward im hoping ill open eyes wake worry exams anymore know want im going try something tonight maybe  hours least drugs ive ever done alcohol weed hate feeling control im pretty sure im prepared happen take particular pills anyone gotten far thank taking time read existential crisis experience particular type drug please let know effects are thanks