get stressed want diei feel like everything much im frustrated want cry time cant find summer job know im going want cry im sick people trying form relationships get close bc im going fuck up i one guy really really like im ready relationship im really going ruin life bc get upset angry time cant get help first relationship ended  months ago it went  years abusive asshole suicidal issues over met i  worst part personal struggle but got thankfully thanks im happy that got worse blamed said rude things yelled would come home college he older dropped bc hes scumbag cant anything would use sex rape yell essentially tell vagina disgusting like okay help family brings time like need fucking reminder mom fucking defends like say hes scum earth goes hes hard life like oh im sorry give excuse rude me even tried talk said thats lost cause i never even bothered mention would force sex use condom always worried pregnant never brought bc bother little ever cared left gone mother moron smokes severe asthma hospital time cant ask help bc always center attention probably money pulled help fucked relationship years ago pretend like even care her would rather move never speak family cant money stupid i need talk mom im want turn nasty bitch like her finances one thing really stress help already worried mother go hospital weekend time this im done want move leave bc im much happier college never see or sister rude really love dad going stay home dog baby died  months ago reason anymore im beyond frustrated want stop ceyinfn stop hurting people get help cant bc mother center attention want extended family think im looney bc need help want die done since last time felt really bad about  years ago  im  now im frustrated want leave im sorry rant im really frustrated even got even made sense thank much  random guy like bc really sweetheart nice want break hes sweet nice tell cares never takes advantage anything always support part wants leave bc im tired people seeing vulnerable get upset like tiny part still worried might try hurt me worry much anymore im worried im going break make suicidal