im completely ruinedi drink much fucked cheated ex miserable person world anymore finally started thinking im even using throwaway know do ruined best thing ever happened me never getting this im completely self destructive point im useless know fucking anymore im never going stop thinking her bet may reading this knows reddit account is im beyond sorry know else say fucking fault every single goddamn fucking day live it sucks fault ever im leaving keys apartment front porch note animals ok know else do want fucking stab sometimes apartment never feels like home never everything feel awful long im there im bad place wanna way want thoughts cant fucking normal cant normal shit wrong me fucking hate myself dont know much longer endure this every single day waking feeling miserable regretting every choice make fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck