never thought would come thisive always background ive always felt replaceable like didnt matter dont want anymore always subtle suicidal thoughts ive hit time low past months worst life want end never felt broken empty depressedi went swearing never touch drug life might addiction point im sober feel like point living im wasting mine everyone elses time im still here im highdrunk whatever feel numbed pain little amount time doesnt last long still end going bed sad wishing wont wake next day tried stop feel like need keep going dont know else do thing always helped music favorite artist dead makes want die even well music helps used love video games feel like im living altered state mind musicvideo games im living good reason all recently ive many serious thoughts killing think im making wrong decision one cares funny like every redflag death one ends caring gone late havent ever posted reddit dont know else point thanks listening anyone read this