feel trappedfor past decade ive felt nothing selfhatred anger sadness loneliness point feel like thing ever make happy redflag thats issue though issue know killed myself would devastate family friends ten years ive painted smile face ive acted like everything okay loved ones worry happy ten years this feel like im living everyone elses behalf im tired want sadden family friends killing myself im also sick living sake keeping happy feel like fair people always talk taking care well being supposed one thing make happy taking life keep suffering everyone else happy im afraid stay alive long enough im going start resenting loved ones happy want ever get point