whati know im myself holding back thoughts dont go away theyre always back mind sometimes come front dont want try want nothing exist dont want worry painful even accomplish want want im capable of feel like emptiness always there nagging me even try even exist doesnt make sense want live world ghost could whatever wanted one would bother me one would tell need better better even would impossible theres way around peer pressure self inflicted pressure dont fully exist idk feel empty time constantly trying reassure bigger purpose im reason exhausting im