th birthday feeling suicidalhey guys turning  tomorrow feel horrible ive struggling depression  years  recently started taking meds  instead helping feel better think feel worse used social outgoing  year everything going downhill treat family closest friends like shit cant help ignoring saying things dont want hurts hurts them barely survive school tired time lay bed day feel alone fuck time ive never one true love think noone talk share pain with school group friends hang pass time cant relate talk want something tomorrow birthday instead thinking throwing party good time  thinking wasting time  worthless insignificant am fail life univerity want die brothers best friend killed   remember pain went dont know againi feel like everyone know feeling awful trying help keep rejecting even tho need support feel horrible that want everything ok much ask