family know even sometimes pick prescriptions me think taking them giant stash lexapro welbutrin nowit really helping too much better hate myself deserve happy worthless stupid ugly social skills always trouble making friends least high school would maintain least group  friends got college abandoned me literally ghosting me got graduated bs felt joy whatsoever everyone around happy graduating felt nothing actually hated even felt even stupid mean always expected anyway accomplishment something expected do much pussy kill myself get closer every day tried pastfuck idk do tired everything wish never born taken medication  months