needed say somethingtheres probably people problems much worse feel incredibly guilty posting feel option left id like put bit backstory things make sense hopefully im diagnosed bpd something like say quite honestly one really knows it  left home parents divorced  jumping houses ate lot coping mechanism put weight result fault entirely one blame that bpd surfaced pleasant person around mother hated thus reasons leaving home father drinking addict thus susceptible angered outbursts hate quite frankly fast forward years shifting sleeping friends beds finally living one rooms grandmothers house dad lives too hes living past years rent free taking total advantage her much money try help form chores taking out offered money various occasions declined decided tonight kick sort self my depression put streets himself threatened believe made worse occasion felt unjustly pointed answered back instead sitting silence made things worse tried explain bpd hes adamant kicking out terrified want end life cannot go back cannot live streets tired burden everyones life everyone ive live with seem feel way cant cant anymore know ill do know im scared crying wish close eyes awaken cant face tomorrow cant see tomorrow anyhow like said im sorry know theres people much worse apologies always told im guilt tripping people probably im now im sorry