one worst weekends whole year know talk toim crisis mode atm woke friday thinking meeting rush for turns actually online shit me idea going we ended using multicaller phone call phased out meant ask prizes businesses donate week ended time work ones wanted thursday rest friday it also scared sort person told manager id organise saturday eventually got headache front computer long started talking negatively stuff probably minor anxiety attack friend convinced go home rest eating something woke saturday feeling shit cause hot  degrees celsius ended getting severe anxiety attack afternoon left crying bathroom floor exhausted try stabbing myself evening rolled around everything seemed amazing woke am friend anxiety attack culminating told im going talking before help cause nothing help anymore wont check phone stay bed feel cut deep inside able go sleep am person live gone bed yet made noise keep night holidays nearly cant cope probably able go church morning im failure able commitments know im going explain this im horrible situation friend know talk to worst