tw disordered eatingsuicidal ideation know lost motivation anything either eating much little constipated fuck tired slept  hours even motivation cook anything order shit apartment live in poor cannot hold job month without redflages building break down makes feel like acting like entitled piece shit making excuses work something tried approach sucking redflag hoping disappear work like that parent pressured move screaming constantly telling ill never amount anything life toxic judged every move never really felt good enough think killing much effort tried therapy work tried medical marijuana developed scary hallucinations know life existing likely end street likely become drug addict nothing bother people thinking running away literally much want here feel worthless