sometimes feel like cant go onim  never kissed woman never relationship thing want ive lost hope ever happening ive tried joining social groups ive tried land job abroad try different country i live third world country people online dating makes things harder however efforts nothingi feel pathetic disgusting seeing every girl ever crush married someone much better myself seeing everybody grew made progress life except myself ect feel like im good enough never born want die im afraid death kinda wish never existed first place see life passing every day despite efforts feel miserable ill never relationship think dead