even attempt show willing go edge otherwise pussy incapable killing seeks help weak logical no really also want show self hatred real joke something casual know guess surrounded mentally ill people attempted feel need join order feel validated besides wanted die years now passive suicidal thoughts intrusive thoughts extremely common day day life realize actual option cannot finish jobits weird cognitive dissonance people seek help attempting strong never be and honestly crave hurting often started affect notredflag want destroy everything around me cannot seek therapy help commit suicide