tonight seems lasti depression throughout high school college college seeing therapist year recently got referred psychiatrist made redflag attempts really want leave behind gruesome corpse claim care find cant seem girl dated pain caused breaking  months hungup ex three half years also binge drinking help found last night hope left getting back ex  months honestly cannot write complete sentences right im looking outside playing body would displayed concrete jumped much blood would cut myself crying help friends seems like minor thing one really say anything to one understands would much happier leave world  would debbie downer according friends one would worry done done  cause pain go away better medication completely forget cannot stop crying everywhere right now gymclass walking outside picture body battered step take hoping random car thats driving slam free me cannot make nights without serious panic attacks help live alone wanted someone care would gone deep know one would dont want waste anyone elses time planet help ending life wish could taken seriously life would imagine much means complete stranger shows act kindness me burst tears means lot read far assure life worthless better forgotten