dont even know im still alivei chronic illness called cyclic vomiting syndrome imagine feeling nauseated  days throwing  them actually cant imagine know couldnt happened me strike time anxiety crazy worrying ill start another episode worst time teeth wearing away vomiting agoraphobic leave house might end uncontrollably puking passing stuck somewhere isnt home cure body given me big dreams life going playwright barely focus write nausea intense ive tried many antiemetic medications nothing worked ive going altredflagholiday file methods im thinking tossing cliff near house it sufficiently high  stories thatd finish things pretty quickly still read ive reading thats thing keeps going im lonely anxiety torturous try distract it