im depressed alcoholic im ready diedepression scrapes surface im diagnosed ocd bpd every single day feels like living hell dont think keep going like this lot issues main diagnosis include severe social anxiety bordering agoraphobia major depression im sick living like this thing keeping alive right family dont want put that part feels like theyd better though mental health become debilitating last years cant even work turned  mooch grandparents live cant function like normal human being ive tried therapy medication nothing helps feel lost stuck getting current situation point do failed college mental illness live small town finding job almost impossible social anxiety makes even daunting cant hardly even go grocery store point dont know point feel helplessness like im drowning way out im stuck thoughts waking moments way get relief alcohol hard see light end tunnel feel deep id better dead