never behaved like this clue happening really scared mind spiraling really dark place beginning overthink everything nothing makes sense anymore useless boring human ever existed planet feel fucking isolated everyone everything like even really here feel like someone living life instead me everyone pretends care really give fuck could trust people cannot even trust myself sabotaging happiness making things worse fucking thoughts promised would never try hurt yet am knife hand cuts bruises body feel like turning completely fucking insane idk do idk distract myself make stop want stop thinking miss numb think turning insane