killing practical thing situationi want kill birthday month wanted  said id wait til  case things got better got worse going homeless im disabled cant work get situation people like me without friends family disabled always end shittiest situations homeless forced sell things money raped beaten robbed look upon etc dont know want deal kill avoid stress shitty life id end living im homebound means never able leave house ill like sleeping car time scares me dont even blinds windows plan try use towels hot af out makes symptoms worse like ill miserable literally nothing like im already nothing huge waste life hate im lived  fucking years waste like somebody else  years added life instead boring idk im rambling think im really going kill almost night like easy kill thinking thing gives peace right