im gonna ithey writing shitty thoughts reddit cause telling things strangers way easier wanna start over emotions unstable since kid im  yo last  years every god damn day im thinkin dying well im one sad boi drink bleach types job requires damn high responsibility social stuff talking hundreds people around world everyday trying live normal life last  months feel like im gonna loose control jump building thoughts pumping blood veins heart rate goes up actually idea redflag thing makes feel excited yes ive tried taking professional help year stopped seeing psychiatrist lost faith getting better im using maoi stuff  years fall asleep death really dont know hell wrong every single fuckin moment body feels like belongs someone else im looking hands trying listen head body feels strange me last  months go sleep till fall asleep hear screaming buzzing sounds worst thing almost feelings anymore outside working hanging friends family etc u say that guy damn full life im always energetic talkative laughing person im tired fuckin acting hurt people around me ive talked people know words brings pain would rather keeping myself well apathy peak days fuck feel lame writing website know hell im whatever want someone anyone read words thank spending time survive thank next days well song you farewell httpswwwyoutubecomwatchv_zqmueaz