itthis note guess right post im going end it knew may find this ive slogged long enough hell middle fucking apocalypse im surprised made far im finally tired suppose  years living wrong body someone also adhd ton likely incurable mental illnesses too made one last huge push fix things year failed know anybody elses fault dont want funeral anything especially anything religious also name ray please dont use old one last all im sorry realize going put everyone know pain simply cannot anymore may hard impossible understand hope forgive ive done love all go peace