tiredi stupid amount money owed various places  owed council due fact flatmate initially failed declare tax exemption court hearing said owed money th sept divorcing parents tearing whole family setup farewell abusive husband father mother me flatmate leaving go live someone else expected happen growing tired living could tell hard find work chosen career depression impedes efforts work times have tired feeling dull constant ache throbbing feels being nearly breaking middle supermarkets unable tell people around feel would gladly cease existence oh yes mind long wish around deal aftermath mother stepfather friends such aftermath would horrible note would fix anything brothers sisters fill place know feeling death another leaves open wound empty bare could die affect noone would lovely im throwing hands air shouting one last fuck you jumping front oncoming train want go quietly night nothing more