know continuehello first time thinking redflag  already tried end life pull off  life took turn better entered gymnasiumthe german version high school actaully started normal social life went friends enjoying going school im uni old thoughts buried deep mind beginning resurface even im studying together lots people half year able make single contact one talk fucking mindnumbing assure you due low selfesteem afraid speak people back high school people approached me easy seems like impossible task now fear getting bad im even afraid look emails going outside getting uncomftable appaears anxiety getting worse day sucks worst thing one absolutetely fucking one even parentswhich interested anything else rely on someone talk issues