hi all me again i ve f experienced a barrage of unfavorable stressful event since the beginning of 0 this ha created a constant baseline of lingering anxiety it s not subtle i am no longer able to function normally due to the chronic flight or fight response physical symptom include sweating tight chest and a pumping stomach adrenaline overload i can t perform simple task without losing my breath sleep is important to me yet i have an overhanging feeling of dread when going to bed sometimes i can sleep smoothly other time it s a war my main form of peace and solace ha become my enemy my doctor recommended i start on lexapro again – something that i had taken during my college day to cope with severe test anxiety by day it created a serotonin fueled brain overload my symptom intensified by a magnitude of 00 i wa unable to sleep for hour it caused me to pas out at work and chat with onsite medic my psychiatrist told me to stop the lexapro i wa instead given 0 mg propranolol taken twice daily and 0 mg hydroxyzine to help me fall asleep i wa also given 0 mg trazodone to knock myself out if needed but i only felt that i had to take this the first night to force reboot my body wa terrified of going into psychosis if i went another night with zero sleep i m at a loss everything is hard i m seeing a therapist to cope i m scared of losing my job it s physically and intellectually demanding but brain machine broke and i m unable to properly focus i m scared of having to move all the way back home because of my instability i often find myself wondering if this is a life worth living it doesn t help that i live alone in the middle of nowhere i ll use this thread to update my progress i know lot of folk are going through this keeping people informed of treatment and whatnot that may help them in turn is one of the small piece of hope that i m holding onto during these uncertain time much love thetipsyalchemist