sure behaviour suicidal fueled anxietyi make brief possible anxiety issues since approximately  bullied first time attended school guess never really got agoraphobia distrust peoples motives tried ssris which led redflag attempt lack ability orgasm taking them beta blockers did nothing cbt a grown man pony tail tell breathe differently nothing  home parents leave house allure well paid day work i self employed typically coax house booking lucrative end result is cannot even afford glasses cant partake hobbies freely longer money earn spent transient happiness try make things feel better gone seconds belittled family despite repetitive attempts years granted maybe every year two really look sad type part explain feel know function better top causes anxiety well much causes things affected always looming anxiousness asked doctor could give weeks benzos try clear backlog responsibility declined commented we cant here referred cbt missed appointment ignored request receive phonecall get nervous open mail doctor told me explained paid taxes  years pure inability contact handle it im sure handle late yet another year later tried phone helplines get someone contact agencies place apparently sectioned order assigned advocate going disability ha it cracked told fit work would defend tribunal order continue yeah ok someone anxiety issues definitely going opt that happy trapped fantasise redflag last months noticed difficulty swallowing increased lethargy past days spent bed feeling weak head pounding way familiar with yet seeking medical attention weird even situation seek help maybe post seeking help rationally though see nothing value gain posting here want feel chronicled remote event seriously ill sure giving anxious go outside scared things getting worse uncomfortable beyond that really care