hard keep going dont anything look forward anymoreim going really bad cycle depression right now havent felt way since nearly killed self maybe even worse cant take anymore want well school want get study work hard cant bring it cant bring keep room clean drink water shower anything life isnt worth living more stay nights hating beyond words im badly school im stressed dont want live anymore every day going awful cycle again dont know do hate much hate myself want drink want drugs want kill myself want anything while keep pushing away people love cant bring tell anyone whats happening im numb cry cry anger hate issues body too cant bear living life more doesnt feel worth it nobody understands bad makes even frustrated grades terrible want good beyond words want well school dreams want follow need good grades it achieve able apply myself cant cant bring makes hate mad enough dont know whats wrong dont know fix it starting feel like late me dont think find keep living life