thought getting betterits year since wanted seriously kill myself note planned back went therapy hashed problems  depression  years discharged  months ago therapy im back never ending pit despair loneliness want take knife end it im   tall  pounds asian want affection find someone grow learn with never success relationship wise ive never even girlfriend ever im sick everything feel like never find love tried improving change going gym personality passions music arts always good enough friend im tired honestly dont think win societal standard seems go hand hand opportunity aka handsome somewhat tall manly man