see genuine reason exist anymorei dont want exist every day consists either embarrassing reminded truly inferior compared around get miserable passing day oftentimes force stay standing literally collapse giving entirely cant find enjoyment anything hobby pastime desperately distract long enough dont remember absolutely fucking helpless truly am futurewise nothing look forward to live bloated egotistical country dying economy repeatedly told every single person know grateful suck up ever feel anger often exploding smallest inconvenience dont feel anger feel either nothing allconsuming despair longer go worse feel would mercy died quietly corner dorm instead forcing stay awake ive tried therapy medication never anything frankly dont want anything would happier couldnt remember anything