identify introvert since exposed internet year  always found comfort reading psychology fascinated mbti big  models jungian typology things along lines focused much self improvement tried improve skills figured atleast acting like extrovert tends make social life hell lot easier whenever try feel like myself kind become numb among people realise let speak often night alone think forcing socialise talking friends kind helping building social persona live philosophy everyone alone life long fall making vulnerable front people fine want anyone know real me guess reason experienced firmly believe one ever understand fully tried explaining people feel every friendfamily ever waited turn speak ever talk myself anyways question confused part should keep happy keep living head stop interacting humans literally love living myself keep trying socialise also believe want earn even small amount money need develop social game keep mind every human including family person never reveal true self talking things want whenever done life people go blank like huge lot complex even comprehend believe tried way many times imagine losing definition