matter timehi need get out maybe advice always think killing myself lot mornings imagine id it im always trying distract myself im breaking down im exhausted  ive also remembering time fingered older man six time raped  months ago also  years ago cut ive   try end it ive bulimic years never go way kill myself one time  could stopped heart  mom would die keep feeling like need it point it mean need serious help  therapist psychiatrist hard talk im remembering hard keep working time like im ok im exhausted