know anymore know keep livingi  obese around  lbs give take lbs disability ptsd severe social anxiety absolutely friends family go months years without anyone talk too tried making friends one lasts ghost lead sick mind game theirs cant take loneliness anymore know anymore even tried dating told ugly disgusting worthless told nothing woman wants even told women would want me laughed at mocked at made fun of even catfished couple times know anymore know keep living isolated life style even keep living life isolated live small town like rowena texas  miles away one way nearest town taxi uber lyft town  fast food places super walmart several dentists churches far religious tried going churches get behind even around it dunno anymore maybe best exist anymore