literally point anymorethis kind awkward new since ive never life told anyone except one person ive suicidal depressed since  im  things gotten worse continue get worse hate hate life years thinking life ive realized literally point it want live  years im lucky years work  years im  retire sit ass day watch tv alone like old fuck life rinse repeat cycle majority parts arent satisfying cause pain myself matter mistakes constantly making effect everyone else around truly awful feeling dont strength keep going even dont think id want to shitty memories taking good memories good memories fading away point cant even fucking remember used younger take  years shitty memories grave need take few dont even know anymore