 amp im scared always miserableive sad since  ive antidepressants since still feel sad world makes sad cruel is mean people are feel alone scared never want feel terrified leave friends house feel like im going vomit fact alone get especially scared night feel ridiculous want parents hold me want held told everythings going okay one knows help me terrible fucking feeling reach help amp look confused know say sometimes feel great feel like beat bitch get low again lot childhood trauma think lot it along chemicals brain idea one probably reply makes sick dont know do cant feel alone like anymore im starting see point hate downer needy want successful life get amazing grades happy really try think positive things make happy like hike watch favorite movies im tired one helps myself mom used help lot shes mia almost  years now miss lot wish hard time debate ending life every day god would mad would give pain everyone love would miss friends family too idea feeling like longer gut wrenching dont want scared little kid anymore want function take medicine fucking alone friends family deserve better sometimes imagine last day earth try take everything tell everyone much matter often feel like take care everyone one me get im adult need people someone understand pain would awesome wouldnt feel like person world cant even write feelings probably cant describe feelings write notes saying goodbye cant even offer logical explanation problems seem ridiculous said outloud know dont want die cant hurt anymore feel like burden