know anymorei friends family treats like shit especially mom calls names hits me threatens kill me school stresses much ive always good school ive getting bad grades im sleep deprived cant concentrate feel horrible everything much reason cant appreciate it ive self harming since  contemplating redflag since  im  now ive attempted redflag twice saved strangers walking hate im still alive since im teenager financially well family feel like im whiny another angsty emo kid thats going sort phase im even technically diagnosed depression mental illness would better died right now hardly anyone would notice people care maybe even happy im gone know already tried kill again maybe ive hoping things get better know stupid nothing gotten better probably never will