finalim drinking final drink right  hot chocolate bit hot burning throat little thats okay need worry soon soon ill saying final goodbye bye older brother bye cat guess feel guilty leaving them do preoccupation death stronger that then final walk train tracks ill wait theres chance train come delay day so mind  come back tomorrow need be then final breath ill relish moment feel pain million pounds steel roll me ill dead  final glimpse world final heartbeat final moment worry anything writing actually kind calmed me im going go kill now im still posting this