fucking mistakei feel like complete dumbass know depressed something fucked head say shit like want keep messed time ive feeling way since   feel like see therapist something time dont horrible thoughts want kill catch say want im normal understand myself want die want commit redflag hate living cry everyday alive much hate life find joy anything go crazy punch myself hit objects say crazy see crazy get get help need mean least meds help want go record want lose job mental illness stupid going undiagnosed getting help cut myself bruise myself make throw up binge eat problems want anyone know cant normal want normal again