keep pretending ok not thoughts spiral hard get stuck thinking point all ever wanted pursue passion life did made huge leaps bounds lot hard work sacrifices primary name major motion picture soon released people proud jealous look me idk wish could get behind perspective huge jumping point me huge step right direction cannot storm hit months ago broke living home again work took get number health great begin with thanks genetics still stories want tell world fucked going help anyway even get there inside gross depressed years juggling suicide past nine months off medicated exercise twice day eat healthy sleep sometimes drink smoke cut lot feel better it single hope love care kids never have wanted career feel like want anything die tired this know do looking someone talk