suicidal thoughts cant tell anyone herehey history depressive episodes suicidal thoughts fortunately managed ok last  years ago right im husband  month old visiting sister family parents theres bit culture clash im managing also trying deal small comments us first time parents people respecting need sleep things seems trained one nap full nights sleep either dragging around everywhere im losing mind trying deal her seems petty small straw tonight sat backyard holding screaming daughter wanted set drown pool cant tell husband birthday tomorrow cant tell friends hardly any fucking sucks