cant morehonestly feel like ive enough this feel alone many ways life seems grim cruel worth fighting even special life gift something given us force eventually return it death inevitable way avoid longer feel comfort thinking fragile life bullshit end feeling dread overwhelming cant believe ive using fiction cope reality believe simple characters screen words paper one barriers keeping ending all also want fall low enough drugs shit mind long way access since know dealers want cry right since want live deep inside im afraid die ill take chances hope whatever waiting worse this please someone there know even know self sometimes feel like attention feels wrong want know quickest painless method use know bullet head quick enough noose overdose would painful many types medical pills disposal knife neck also seems painful