people love care know that deny it want alive want wake up eat go work distract emptiness life truly is that also psychotically depressed know anymore convinced die reason chosen one free physcial existence suicide something people actually desire know freeing bc illusion life better death also even know am feel mentally dead think myself understand people make money survive corporate slave job masters power say school hospitals at least  times year point getting better bc going to died years ago  mentally first spiritually physical existence must go people care value life reason killing bc want shatter illusion