think wife killing tonightthis throwaway account obvious reasons wife  suicidal life her first attempt  years old told first met almost  years ago plan live long knowing full well chose anyway time said waiting beloved dog passed away she already like  time my wife want leave elderly dog alone without her well day came went hard time able pull though mostly me well mental disorders getting way worse ocd anxiety bad able sit chair three years she always standing laying down well two weeks ago disorders took ability sleep gotten  hours sleep night hated living long now tells staying alive me me would killed long time ago yes getting treatment seeing therapist doctors years taking meds give things tell her nothing helped all ampxb ever since ive known kit containing supplies job says makes feel better know needs it ampxb today anniversary mothers death  years ago told cant anymore world hard her already knew that expecting long time held her cried together hours told sorry was told much love always love her ampxb drove away stop her ampxb wanted stop her wanted hide car keys throw away kit love her see every day miserable is  pain physically mentally stopped her would selfish want stay me ampxb praying hard changes mind get even one day her know happen ampxb feel dead inside right now love her want ever away her also love her want suffer anymore ampxb expect anyone read this may get deleted needed tell someone cant tell anyone else ampxb tldr wife suffering long every moment life misery could stopped didnt drove away tools needs end life hope comes back also hope finds peace