might seem little selfish think today good thing least meblocking friends best decision made awhile ask tomorrow week statement still holds may not last time really happy things good me think universe way punishing make decisiondecisions bad could end poorly youand rewards make decision aligns best depressive mood swings redflag still much exists still essential isolate myself surround people great negativity like trust gut say people bad them maybe even quite frank trust gut  far punished smells bad probably bad feels bad bad kind philosophy go dealing people life kind ask question myself friends never would give anyone stupid advice would dumb enough follow through even goal involved myself let convince selfsabotage win anyways make decision selfless selfish ps started sketching kind forgot much love fucking killer it think good thing today