im going sundayfor last months ive planning redflag depression gotten really bad lately cant take anymore fucked life hard cant fix it funniest part ive miserable last months yet nobody noticed parents youngest brother friends none slightest inkling ive going through think im regular sweet fifteen year old girl well school pursuing dreams joke im utter failure reason one knows lie everything days parents blissfully ignorant might even denial around twelve severely depressed cut daily caught me punished me stopped months never got help professional otherwise punishment shame rinse repeat couple years learned hide cuts emotions well enough pass ignore symptoms could tell im going kill thing maybe want die brother stepbrothers little families perfect sons need me im exhausted miserable everyday world without me hopefully death nothingness like neverending dreamless sleep care go hours pain twenty minutes im going home run method fatal refuse stitched back together forced live rest life trapped shell former self basically im saying is im done trying live others maybe im okay selfish once im going it