love girl really mutual dead either today tomorrowi already shared whole story reddit couple times check post history read entirety tldr title wish dead part tries find solutions designed to tired waking tears almost breaking tears read something hear something see something tired contemplating redflag tired looking people seeing happily love others forget girl love know paint good light know im monster know im stereotypical bad guy know decision hurt people still care hope losing entirely better continuous stream knowing suicidal trying help failing maybe blaming willing got better know probably isnt know really hurt wish way tell fault tell blame this anyone mind want ask better could try frame entire thing accident could make classic redflag say goodbyes everyone would cause least pain know sorry everyone read this real mess quite unreadable probably go sleep now