loaded gunthrowaway account short cant anymore theres escape understand death cause pain trauma part unfortunate however fairly sure continuing live without merit likely equally devasting consequences hear out failed everything ive ever attempted okay passing exams thats it life skills social skills made two friends high school thats literally it job history joke secure okay jobs cant ever hold year objectively speaking im bad things tends cause problems employment im  year old lesbian im hyper androgynous everyone confused me cause problems live midwest come largely conservative family romantic life successful area thats saying much sex fun one stay realize im complete fuck zero social skills top lost person wanted with kids left baby daddy beats her desire date again cant afford buy basic necessities ive living rice peanut butter weeks degree psych  student loans started job child welfare fail risk ruining lives children already endured trauma unlike anything privileged ass ever known quit im homeless andor family burden bought gun weeks ago waited three days bought ammo planned night instead passed drunk bathroom floor loaded gun hand every evening hold gun head ritual think help desensitization feel bad mom ms emotional never got dog dying ten years ago still cries it