samesuicidaldepressioni early s really wish could go garage turn car on feel like drain family still live home cant find job tried go college couple years ago ended failing feel like wasting money time im beginning see im smart enough go college anything useful the classes hard keep up much ive looked shitty job get know pay horrible im unlikely get poverty thing is ive seen parents forced live work way full time get by hate jobs seems like thing live go work thats whats future even want it another thing ive always wanted mother refuse bring child situation theyre unlikely fulfilling life sort resent parents knew money get wrong thankful theyre worked like provide enough eat least see overworked never time family life want life want children badly id never able afford give good life said im hard time even getting crappy minimum wage job feel guilty im adult parents still support me hell even got job mcdonalds even earn enough rent plan killing someday family already lost many loved family members cant them even though theyd really better never existed