thinking life holds much painhello there  next month see future moment im emotional unstable hard pay attention important parts life right im sitting train station fight girlfriend got mad left apartment went train next city assume sure current life could good think throw small web developer business  debt cant find bank finance it next month at almost birthday pay  know how last year  family members died sister opened got raped kid business went downhill feel completely lost know deal everything once know go life girlfriend answering im worried know long want keep this