know stay honest people want helpi know start this im  year old male depressed since teenager past couple months ive considering redflag option im feel strong enough able change life im jobless skilless job  years pretty bad anxiety people driving interact people afraid drive know people love life feel like unable love someone cannot even love myself thing stopping killing chance failure redflag given sure method would likely it ive never selfharmed done drugs almost never drank alcohol want even pain problems life october hospitalized suicidal thoughts  days lied feelings could leave still suicidal thoughts beginning december hospitalized broke therapists office suggested hospitalized  days thing happened lied feelings want anymore hospital suggested try ect electroconvulsive therapy depression seems like big step trying medicines that right im prozac abilify ive tried medicines besides prozac know keep honest others trying help me know hurts long run ran fucks give