three months ssri medication nervous breakdown friends help memy girlfriend drinking party best friends asleep im crying eyes out fucking pathetic much want somebody give little bit affection never asked help before feel fucking rejected come help me told party soon asked help told shed drinking call different friend fuck everything tonight im honestly embarrassed call redflag hotline call anyone else thought done suicidal thoughts depression  never knew would come back like this im overwhelmed negative emotions hate jealousy anger selfloathing fuckeverythinginthisentireplanet know do guys deal emotional breakdown think im losing it