feel somewhat calm making plan kill myselfi plan certain things bucket list killing myself ive accepted im beyond redemption beyond chance happiness friends betrayed me feel like im worst person world think theres chance make new friendships seem like good person others ive made mistakes anyone else think im beyond fixing people hurt told im worst person never change always bad person exist world want others happy means leaving world it ill start slowly cutting whatever friendships left time hopefully forget leave alone ill try achieve something noteworthy im  want least one good thing leave