sort tore arm boiling over trigger self harmi am say least angry so fucking angry harmed least four years made redflag attempts seven might mighty mind diagnosed depression bipolar disorder pretty young say entered mind though fuck id love bite right now life huge fucking struggle like tearing muddy hill im getting god damn place it put abusive situation told graduated could move on put stop abusive situation at least physically decided fucking hang there little bit longer job im fighting like hell get money move east coast working shitton hours week buck fifty minimum wage without overtime fuck entertainment fuck everything entertainment primary person position so people flake get called in come in shitton work next day d hours  everyones schedule  money  assorted bullshit leaves little time hobbies dicking around fine ive gotten point little makes happy used draw anymore little interest everything ive managed doodle produce comes shit cant put lines save life not could before especially cant right now games get pointless repetitive play amount time even sand boxes talking so fun im lousy fucking better half interest sewing cant afford sewing machine timepatience needle thread shit once result utter crap kept falling apart ive fighting fighting fighting little headway towards moving leech parent love dearly spite bullshit put through kicker though least another half year if longer move that friends called boil point trapped tore arm teeth nails minimal damage remembered used sort shit hate momentary loss self control another rather logical approach biting bullet thats lot easier ignore nailtooth marks however maybe im used now idea point is really anyone talk get upsetdismissive leads getting angry withattacking more loss control im shitty person accept this im sorry peer group lol im going rant go bed buck morning good sleep as much doubt happening tldr trappedtrappedtrappedtraptrappedtraptraptraptrappppedfuckmetrapped situation person id murder painful way possible oh mention like leg fucking snare chew bitch off thats exactly want right now