none less probably going ramble little expecting anyone actually read this using someone talk to somewhere unload thoughts instead getting lost head wish someone talk to actually luxury girlfriend quite literally adored still unfortunately cheated despite best efforts forgive forget wants nothing me says begged stay honestly regret doing lesson learnt lol really deserve abandoned person told would never leave would always love me matter what home life best either recently put hand glass guess explainable accepted version self harm doen proud sometimes feel like cannot help sudden release adrenaline pain kind soothing urge cut gotten worse past weeks mental health definitely decline felt love since girlfriend left me coupled continuious mental emotional abuse home making life unbearable tired getting threatened tired called every name sun tired compared put belittled so fucking tired recently started care less family think me guess good thing yes still make sad get longer feel bad leaving past think attempt rebuilding bridges stage picture going try post feel need vent however brief post may be hopefully help clear head know post best conversation starter honestly lonely right would love friends conversation well never thought would posting here