update keeps getting worseposted thishttpswwwredditcomrredflagwatchcommentsxkufci_tried_to_od_on_xanax_and_alcohol_on_wednesday weeks ago woke like  today badly depressed money issues posted thishttpswwwredditcomroffmychestcommentspgqi_dont_know_how_to_make_money_and_support_myself paying bills expensive usual done decided head bit car start even car fucking parents car tried hang tie ceiling fan body weight would rip fan ceiling know do cant go hospital insurance right nos think something afford know do even know tell therapist feel like getting hospitalized make things even worse hate alive much good times friends not im definitely smart skilled ways happen ways valued society large im finished it one worst parts even bad im straight white dude usa grateful able use resources better world around me im incapable so fucking fault existence feels redundant way renders unworthy life know get this want die