theres optionever since  severely depressed one might say werent sad truly feel depressed  things getting far worse could ever imagine last year fell love girl fell love me asked surprise said yes wanted wait week so thought nothing much it three weeks passed nothing said going out days later suspended school day worst thing day wasnt actually getting suspended upset disappointed was never want hurt anyone intend hurt her could see pain man loved considered bad person three months day couldnt get lowest lows stopped talking blocked snapchat stopped hanging out one asked said anything moment worst moment life time towards end september last year english teacher decided punching bag class calling spineless selfdirected irresponsible even though top student class time week happened told asking question week decided ask question got trouble it question related class time refused help throwing rude remarks towards me skip forward start school year year  hoped year could stay was didnt nothing much happened first two months school fell love girl also happened fall love me holidays hung out watched movies together cuddled sort thing lovers do brings us two weeks ago friday school decided ask out said yes time wasnt surprise shed told ready date wasnt next day went house kissed wasnt blue also wasnt expecting it safely say kissing still greatest moment life ever since then ive developed reliance seeing her whenever dont see get really upset happens middle exam period study exams past days ive saying things upset her feel really bad it always apologise whenever go tangent like last night last night different started talking im embarrassment friend group immature am said babe stop knew immediately gone far said wanted talk morning saying good night normally whenever goes bed say love sleep well couldnt say either two without saying first ive noticed since longer  best friend snapchat also taken location snap map me doesnt bother much currently am write this texted am hasnt responded doesnt wake later am assume ignoring me thing is need talk her anything plans go lunch today last night parents said no whenever kiss get attached her means whenever dont see get down morning woke hoping text anything her nothing came hoping talk situation know cant morning started thinking redflag believe community certain amount pain believe community taken pain know go detriment everyone else dont think should feel like taking one team best option past  years decide die think break soften blow bit dont want break heart suddenly disappear truly care want whats best her shes happy whilst im suffering isnt problem me human take much morning started mirror cried one single tear believe tear signifies lonely even friends family around me cant help think im person world every emotion ive felt everyone ive met everything ive done planned me sad thing theory theres way disprove it longer want feel pain dont want people feel pain im feel it someone read this begging please help me dont know stop this tldr im severely depressed need help someone please help late