taking life breakup happened yeti friends guy two years started dating october good me understanding related many levels problems emotionally always affectionate seemed genuinely want around gave reason want live happy excited wake day could talk planned vacation together months talked hes whisk away northern maine would adopt cats togsther made remember eat healthy lost weight fixed teeth make better him past months hes down talk anymore often hes curt me never before plays game day literally twelve hours messages maybe paused worry death ive patient supportive nothing seems help last night tried tell id loved him snapped me hes never snapped before took surprise sorry mood gushing told hurt wanted help flips gets selfdeprecating stop swearing telling stressed is returned love disappeared rest night morning acts like nothing happened telling fucking game again ive casually asking call skype anything want hear voice hear tell okay know clicked thought im making life worse might leave ive spent months saving money could scrape together visit telling make happy  heard since fucking february read old messages still acted like happy me felt way almost year got happy little while think knows inner turmoil im dealing with ive never hinted it ive tried seem positive supportive whole time  lost loved one redflag years ago want feel again hell think im ghosting him one left left hard easier deal knowing made feel much dump someone love ive always loved want go chance tell feel anymore