uselesshonestly point anymore im tired weak unproductive feel legitimate pain entire wake up cant even put words everyday alone head thats flooded toxic thoughts  starve everyday try make happy cant even look mirror anymore want cut skin disgusted myself ive grown hate much becoming unbearable everyday tell going get better never does im constantly dissociating feel like ive lost entire grasp reality january significant committed redflag painful thing go through hate sleeping every night always dream it always felt like sleep best escape anymore im haunted memories every day want happy again want love again point dont think possible