unworthy lifethis isnt first time ive posted here think im far fucked go on dont think go much longer fighting never good attribute mine always passive loving person fear conflict kind whether another person feel weak person dealt depression many times ive never wanted give like before got hospital weeks back made friends tried get help really wanted get help tried hardest discharged day early  days didnt feel different going mental health unit week later another downward spiral havent even gone back work yet dont even think go back work anxiety depression way is im sure causing this life bad family loves dearly supportive great friends always me many things good life idea happy often wonder ungrateful dont know next turn take me life go feel im losing hope im afraid tell many people ive feeling someone told me ever talk about one friend listen everything say clueless am feel bad im everyone dont know else besides give up dont want hurt mom feel choice cant cope anymore ive tried distracting myself medication therapy talking friends socialiable nothing helped dont know anymore hate burden family friends hate person pitied felt sorry for things would easier never born deserve worthy life dont know would this perhaps hanging would good way rope left work could take bunch pills hopefully fear death guilt feel quelled peace void long redflag note write