four years amd still feel dead insidemet girl  together almost three years kid loved little guy momma too two years later left guy met two weeks prior new job walmart left homeless reduced mere visitor son two year old son year later hostility grown powerful made clear longer welcome childs life got lawyer rich parents got one too realized would never win case courtus courts classist family court antifather gave up four years keep mind much anyways yet always comes back haunt me family audacity ask start dating again like want see start new life experience pain losing second one again even willing date again ive become miserly bitter person everyday pray cancer i know diety hears them never go doctor hopes might die someday well fuck could write book know shit get read anyways probably get deleted maybe someone worth saving talked instead want ride motorcycle concrete wall  mph good news ive started siezures recently maybe health finally fucking fail probably bullshit fatal fuckery