like disappointment everybodysuicidal scary word meaning behind represents feel ive always wanted appreciated someone feel proud me im taking duel enrollment college in future one me parents bat single eye feels like second mess something want drop im immediately go work home improvement im lazy selfish disappointment day day listen parents complain other he realize much work shes lazy wants everything wears away way get screamed yelled thing control over maybe im suicidal enough fact im standing noose moment means issues worth here months now thought ending seems present mind cant tell anyone cant explain cant tell anyone life this need say this somewhere someway maybe keep thoughts bay while