needed tell somebody anybodythis isnt looking someone come save me isnt wanting attention wanted tell somebody it lays heavy mind want hours peaceful boyfriend killed  days ago fully completely love sickly sweet reason now hold on starting whole life together going get place april year get two cats angus maggie eventually get married live together happily things went well really good true pretty much reason decided try get better wanted future wanted future me went amazingly first time long long time didnt want die maybe reliant happy cannot stand world without him everything quickly caving me theres way fix it funeral absolute breaking point me many people standing room see coffin hear songs loved see family mourn big gathering people something completely snapped longer even slight hesitation this