its selfish thing anyone dothats stepmother said redflag nice dinner table conversation nice family gathering celebrating one nameday two birthdays one own anyone else crisis think theyd live  pretend whole time im normal way involved affected topic haha idea whole time many people even know im seeing psychologist stuff one stepbrothers seeing psychiatrist theyre judgemental hes valid idea could say things especially context thoughts this too agrees might times even help others selfish thing world give oppurtunity up what fuck one stepbrother one family member attempt herself started set rights meanwhile busy coward trying show hurt trying cry poker face dad sitting beside lay shoulder long time staying silent eventually asked jokingly are falling asleep better get situation needed contact anyway psychologist knows know long ill seeing her well anyone internet cares know joke friends know might harmful  laugh wed cry god sorry rant im tired pretending