im going kill myself needed relese iner pain somwhereim going kill tonight thought present like cancer spinning around mind end present im tired everything call life would walk hell knowing things get worse nothing gets better know big piece shit deserves world made suffering im tired bad emotions come hard handle them everything want turns nightmare keep asking wrong life say think death much used drugs stopped already two years made open later prelude accepting mistakes yah say get work earn money that understand much takes care person barely move pour salt meal worked for years trying fix problems spend money saving someones life spend myself dam even started live buddhist monk whos sleeps floor empty room without material possessions life moving anywhere cant anything really help heal dad feel like shit hard take care think gonna ower hate im week mind hurt nobady helps fuck nothing others could help feel like prison opportunities thought run save life people meet walk door worries responsibilities cant person behave still hate thoughts think so want leave end it day gets harder life spiritual awakenings things cant share nobody ill gonna end mental hospital fuck im sick care someone really sick get word somebody would better place hows everyone better gratitude others slowly dying jealousy anger taking ower first one would like kill me become monster like be hard think im worth think im egoist think piece shit say try best harm others trying withstand another day people see struggle wish things different wish world would love me