failure failed mom failed dad failed girl liked importantly failed myself use sub understand others maybe build empathy love least forgive mistakes always tried good swear life keeps fucking ass lube try act normal go friends work harder learn new things feel everything act still feel empty clear path follow tragedy never noticed signals always there time day night feel painless really trying fuck man god idk fuck charge assuming someone making fun me making struggles bigger day day young less year would graduated top tier uni hopefully things improve prospect better life keeps harming myself family friends her even know going on ones know kind understand tell make stronger thing is tired strong weak pathetic idea keeps popping head keep fighting decide worth fight anymore want coward care love ones proof do care care me give life them escape