mum called mental health servicesbecause bought equipment kill myself went sisters amazon account ordered last night itll arrive today sister saw email called mother tell her want die such want give stop hurting cry help mum called attention seeker guess am im frightened theyll admit hospital nurse arriving shortly assess me mum wants leave house said days wants out says obviously need help im letting mental illnesd consume want around anymore im lazy dirty disgusting ive crying days im god damn depressed feel completely ruined family going find feel sick guilt shame see way anymore im better dead everyone wish guts end it last night episode calmness made mind killing myself right feel hopeless