mom seem careive never posted really need tell someone feel problems bad guess im sure right place feels like im going crazy sometimes cant even tell im anxious feel helpless know do lately ive started arguing mom never really listens tell mental health told suicidal thoughts middle argument told kill since want bad ive also tried talking calmly know understand care im sure would ever actually kill myself thought scares bit thoughts death make anxious actually thats usually keeps night get really upset seems go away also talked mom wanting get help tell need look problems tired dealing shit want book appointment go alone hope sound dumb also knows problems holding back anger happens home though throw stuff punch walls hit scratch myself later also started using scissors scratchcut upset really reason it guess pain kinda calms down hope sound edgy anything im really trying be know anymore hate mom nice understand listen me