im  struggling suicidal thoughts awhile now cant anymore im sick people telling gonna alright timeim still teenager im already done fuck this im sick waking everyday go shitty minimum wage job dont confidence determination make something myself ive ghosted friends theyre better without me dad died years ago mum hates me one unfair dad lost life deserved live it s wish instead loved good person deserved live cant stand myself im burden mum shes disappointed turned doesnt understand bad mental health tells hang on for whats fucking point anything do