never really felt developed anxiety disorderi know anyone much loser age many things have order survive im terrified end nothing furthest ive gotten making call legs shaking talk ended hanging up abusive relationship ex left debt fault instead getting legal help check email depressed alienated person met her bipolar sociopath even within year already changed different person scared easily agitated codependent seven years startle mild noises think dying tried hang living overseas escape dependent entirely telling going leave there illegally violating eu residency nothing really came power would rip blankets clothes scratch pinch letting take clothes whatever wanted maybe people like deserve live ive given ever want give im used up want hide forever kitties wouldve vanished now sorry read rambling bullshit