like thisi read lot posts somemost people definitely something not grew foster care time mom got kids back system type relationship lets say better system things saw put things child even know kid life much loneliness sadness chest literally randomly hurts cus bad need good cry im tired crying tired people wont me think one shot end misery makes feel calm point almost scares me like everyone else goalsdreams society sick weird hands make not im tired struggling financially mentally life hard sad redflag easy thinking hard point smile thoughts go mind wonder god get put earth this fair