im tired waiting someone help kill myselffor past year im alone shameoutbursts think someone past shout come help commit redflag diagnosed bipolar disorder observation illness works two ways seeing people get fights with either destructive shitty people absolute saints right i wrong since extremes irrational left conclude are some people actually are treatinghave treated badly inability recognize address correctly making sick head want believe moment simply overthinking result mental illness itself nevertheless feel surrounded normal peoplepeople like youwho immediately recognize treated badly someone deal accordingly convinced inability see anger to least anger valid emotion weakness late fix cant stop thinking guns explosives exhaust pipes fantastic modern ways make quick painless