im  yr old male chose expiration dateim really stupid person unspeakable thing thirteen years feel hopeless depressed three friends dont think even real friends id rather talk got couple things want get chest really hope go viral  raped  year old sister know knows act like never happened think want regular life feel like things way better wouldve never born when  nearly killed mom called ambulance saved stabbed self stomach passed sister found screamed thats mom came call ambulance age  hit someone text book got sent alternative schoolwe dont stay night there took knife school one friendsat time told got trouble at  started get hallucinations thought gotten girl pregnant head abortion still depressed know fake feel real first turned  sleepover house one friends wanted touch sister rapey way went kitchen grabbed knife nearly stabbed mom grabbed slapped me lost control wanyed die badly made mind im killing self cristmas eve got planned know nobody awake night slit wrist cut im guessing wont hurt im sorry mom sister