m thought redflag officially scary anymoreand worries me lot part saw coming timeanother part denial every relationship toxic level intense codepdence coming family selfimage think go unattractive am college active sports teams social clubs outgoing talked girls never succeeded overheard second time girls talking embarassed disgusting look closed book me done talking girls none projects sidebusinesses every panned out academically sucked get masters program im home odd work dad  friends works home treats like owns me parts life oddly exemplary eat diet rfitness would jerk to im  bf train  times week meditate daily couple hobbies enjoy sleep well fillers cant get anywhere want  academic goals business goals financial goals relationship goals sex goals list goes on im tired generalized anxiety makes life hell my psychiatrist want give meds says im better cbt looks like itll enough understand all neither last guy im good all bring meds told get meds asking thought dead used scare lot would think missing little things air sunshine food etc thats changed too ive seen all ill see way im tired tired