entered would probably characterize darkest period life far job despise recently started therapy overall net positive also forced take long hard look many personal traits need lot work realizing strong sense personal identity much lengthier problematic track record behaving toxic manipulative ways allinall opinion quickly rocketing dirt midst intense identity crisis ever experiencedall slew unpleasant factors left feeling like heading right potentially explosive breakdown like get married love fiance much making lifelong commitment like another human feel like clue am values passions are heading life scares shit me also recently began indulging selfharm impulses which relatively minor lifethreatening scarring first time decade feels like enormous step backwards me feel like rubber band stretched brink snapping unknown combination time andor additional tension inevitably make snap know it think state in feel like spiraling control also feel like cannot think ignoring repressing problems mistakes ended first place worst part that even though feel meltdown coming feel powerless stop it kind would sum current crisis complete loss control life direction going inhas anyone experienced anything like before so tips deal least keep hurting others life unravelling even not appreciate space vent for record presently concerned going kill myself worried risk physically hurting others worried risk burning bridges tanking personal professional notredflag ground causing lot emotional damage others way feel beginning unravel least mitigate damage impending breakdown could others