nothing metric life worth staying except stupid catanything compartmentalize area life terrible partner interests friends hate job im terrible even know ill job go back im broke cant find new job field car needs work money apartment feels like prison might lose soon anyway one care one cares me spend every minute crushing loneliness failure see way out even anyone give hug text message im worst spoken another person face face two weeks literally nothing getting worse day day ampxb keep thinking could find heroin fentanyl lot it ive never done either guess means would take less ampxb love fucking cat anyone could trust take wake every fucking day life hate know hes happy