feel betterif anything feel worse want much die unbelievable ive lot research painful would od sleeping meds diphenhydramine interested miss much im never going get back cant take that see funeral better see college life broke cant put back together time look realize wrong is everything made happy thinking fills dread wish would never existed many peoples lives would better reason anything mom pressuring saying kill follow leaving sister alone live others everyone says redflag selfish id say forcing someone live life want live reasons equally selfish