im uselessfirst please forgive formatting im mobile little background me im bipolar self injure terrible self esteem abandonment issues im lost married man know loves me understand depression mood swings fits anger try explain listen hes amazing me recently lost job cannot find one anywhere im putting applications everyday one calls im point feel like im burden suitable wife im useless think redflag constantly put happy face getting cannot fake it ive told husband leave me see someone else come home know good enough would never things want feel like hes stuck outrageous mental defect