world giving signs kill myselfi terrible night friend called hang did pretty much ignored whole time texting awesome fun cool friends laughing good time them pretty much ignored top dad giving shit day today treating like  year old im  feeling like shit decided call crisis line got counselor  minutes hold terrible want listen made generic actually pretty mean comments like i know would upset you that sound like much big deal seriously told feeling suicidal said mhmmyeah told shift pretty much told terrible person quit job going say wrong things people distress seem care hung me called back right way got put hold hour hour phone rang nobody picked ended call im hold doubt anyone answer someone does bet itll another shitty counselor feeling suicidal right feel like world giving signs it people life treating like matterexist whole crisis line thing feel like sign end life really feel like im worth fuck people keep saying terrible things acting like im even human being really want kill right moment honestly everyone would better without burden lives people keep around feel sorry wasting time hate much cant take pain anymore feel soon im going finish bottle pills go bed