often see pitch black room see feel touch taste hear distance see everything everyone ever loved cared about start running grab arms reach grab me matter fast long run always distance away feel overwhelming urge breakdown cry try cannot mad feel anger sad feel sadness feel nothing despair loneliness emotions lost void desperately trying escape fall knees head facing ground two choices lay front me  continue trying matter hard exhausting guarantee ill ever succeed reaching them  game switch matter long running trying always reach first one want give up want end things scared reach them eventually ill choose option  terrifies me doubt ever take option  feel longer try likely could happennote suicidal depression feels like severe depression feels like