take meds harm others harm myself deep feel like am nasty person narcissist compassionmonday tried hang could bear situation anymore wanted easy way avoid harming people also avoid harmed peoplewhen got chair hang reason could kill myself bit mess could get back chair easily legs shaking much like longer control lower body really thought going die really mind case  well bad get back chair time  managed get back chair took hell lot muscle strength anywayit deterred trying till today feel miserable nasty need another way end things maybe faster way despicable person