bought gun two days agothey stopped processing permits state temporarily bought hunting boltaction rifle takes ten rounds keep next bed magazine loaded next it keep looking im home work bought kill myself took care will figured everything thats gonna happen die knowing ready go given much peace friends commented seem much happier past couple days wish could tell finally going everyone burden on theyll without might hurt first lives much better wanted share somewhere wouldnt see it dont want stop me tomorrow night im going drink call emergency services get body right away nobody see love take care it feel free