lots new changes life hard time adjusting pandemic helprecently moved new city attend grad school live long term girlfriend due pandemic program went online grateful safety measures taken feel like able engage classes nearly well undergrad connections peers professors harder sit  hours lecture watch screen rather listen person lecture attention shot barely leave room anymore always working school work worst well classes exam studied hours daily week completely lost got exam itself continuing reach people seeing therapist tomorrow losing hope everyday want end life more ive thinking would would it completely exhausted feel like paying off im miserable supposed culmination hard undergrad work want done