im finally readyas title suggests ive made mind point years ive hurting every single night crying am living miserable life told things get better tried let things get better put there everyone said still enough ive always afraid take life thought terrifies me feeling wanting die genuine ive thought killing almost every second every day course past years way  year old live parents already think nothing dad says redflag weak guess right idea much pain in would happy finally let go ive tried telling them care one late sad truth theres many nights ive sat bed rope hands crying wishing id it pain would finally stop ive always afraid whats come im scared anymore sit it terrified feelings overwhelm me cant cry anymore im tired crying hurts awake anymore tonight finally rest