want overi want kill badly want done trying fix things simply arent fixable mother never loved me dont friends take seriously cant look mirror dont recognize myself people used get along scared me parents getting divorce everything dumb theres point still here cant bring it im sad dont want anymore everything hurts heart heavy nothing seems worth it still much coward end stupid fucking life ive struggling thoughts nearly  years even though ive tons medication bit year started antidepressants anxiety medication february  go therapy talk things people nothing helping want absence make people realize theyve missing on maybe potential one wanted find out friends fake girlfriend doesnt love me tell want write note get with reason cant find how time want call redflag hotline want get better takes effort effort dont feel like give im worn out im tired this instead anything im sitting fucking bed cant talk friends fathers number well address theyd sure hell call ambulance call dad im gonna miss dogs dad go kidding though never going make wedding anyway one post dumb im sorrycan someone encourage get with