dont know doi really helpless lately feel like nothing matters nobody cares me im making entry want see anyone feeling im feeling help other big factor dragging parents parents arent abusive feel like im nothing nice im something dont want like playing hockey ive playing since   btw ive lost drive every year dread it im two teams travel high school live half hour away school usually get home midnight half wake  may seem like lot hard fall asleep grades dropping take special reading class sri score isnt high enough tried telling parents hockey getting way automatically started yelling scolding me dont really friends anyone look to usually stay room cry hurt myself much happening life described feel shouldnt expand far want commit redflag dont want go hell want go heaven die family doesnt believe god do ive never gone church feel like may help me nothing happened yet im stuck here none love depend on