best way loved onesim saying im going it want option know sounds nihilistic option leave wanted give fight ive struggling entire life again isnt cry help ive gotten professional help magic answer still bad days really bad days know option really help thought leaving loved ones fucking tears apart reason im still getting help never plan lowest thought inevitable people arent meant life feel im one people means end purely hypothetical would best way sake last thing id want burden even would last time would home away home od assume cleanest easiest tastes call authorities hand family dont see anything notes course  notebooks full cant leave without providing explanation closure maybe fall ditch somewhere dont anything all maybe knowing us best idk