getting bettersix months ago made anonymous post another site saying answer want give age old question see five years dead throw away account thought id never use again today used again truly thought better thought okay today work really thought last weeks every single day ive thought redflag dont want anymore want talk someone want someone know im thoughts not theyre new tried hang th grade im terrified ask help im scared repercussions life last thursday came home work looked backpack packed it left without purpose destination didnt tell anyone going didnt even know id back maybe cry help see anyone noticed gone one person called talked still driving unsure going listened cried asked anything stupid anything unsafe him didnt checked next day thank you cameron moment think truly saved life woke next day explored national parklt beautiful one else noticed gone which unlike me felt better came back home lasted two days every single day ive thought killing myself ive pills stashed away two years know day coming sunday got couch walked go take them text friend arrived stopped thanks john saved life day thought committed got committed would get fired job probably put medication probably still funny happy carefree shell everyone knows probably not ive become accustomed wearing mask cracks people dont know am people dont want around that id thoughts killing younger sad hurt tired feeling way now feel blank feel heartbroken im heartbroken feel sad im sad  feel angry im angry feel like im water time like someone crushing chest literally feel mind breaking slipping literally feel this didnt know could feel happening do know going happen soon im oddly peace it unease feel grandmother shes already lost daughter almost killed her raised me im daughter thats one bit sadness feel