confessionventocd hope likely hebepedoconfessionvent theres reason im still alive family people care despite absolute worthless dumbass ive done stupid shit past always mind feel guilty angry myself cant fucking forgive did watching catching predator videos youtube october last year ended obsession p stronger ever thoughts since  along thoughts yet fucking ignored them confident ocd read pages could relate peoples stories except remembered fucking masturbated images kids  twice   individuals  they individuals attracted younger photos still looked like individuals liked either still  barely  random  year old didnt know fucking ages kids sure still fucking it knew better also masturbated aunt beastiality shit guys looked like girls around age too fucking able masturbate things questioned attracted to part tells testing anxious didnt fucking like or else would still im sure regardless long time ago dont remember events except questioned attracted particular things would test see got aroused maybe fucking able curiosity taboo anxiety horny piece shit would masturbate anything addicted never masturbated fantasiesnever get fantasies unless force think order test reaction compare things feels sickpainful dont enjoy it kid would feel sick liking individuals  years younger  questioned attracted kid  years younger reminded person liked yet fucking dismissed that  fucking touched kid like  holding hands curious fucking regretted it felt bad lost attraction any focused person  actually crush on also remember playing kids   starting question too fucking trauma  kid took advantage innocence experimented humping merubbing genitals me fucking stuck days would constantly think it question im attracted kids see public especially whove entered puberty test attraction think kids constantly head see im attractedtest reaction get anxious panic see them get groinal responses fucking anxiety caught guard pictures feel attraction along obsessions like lady tramp dog feels different think individuals like fucking avoid kids see person im attracted university question age liked resemble kid brain always tells im p keep trying tell im not total loss im done brain fucking tried telling psychopath lacked empathyremembered shit past except feel empathy got dismissed theres something completely wrong sexually mentally accept that born premature like  weeks barely lived immigrated another country amazing family worked hard piece shit person like me died baby younger almost getting hit car everyone high hopes meexcept probably became worst person society tldr brain tries convince im attracted inappropriate things like kids animals like dog family members like aunt grandmother mother brother religious figures past normal things like gender im trans for curious feels different gender wanting try clothes different gender psycho except ive done shit actually show behaviours past theres two things do leave miserable world ill remembered good individual worked hard school dreams becoming doctor get help im  get help see hell wrong me im scared happen family dog something happen me id rather live internally suffer stupid curses given family people care dont suffer isnt life me im crying inside everyday want let emotions scream im moody  brother keeps pushing limits asking reassurance appearance making obsession worse talking things make feel even upset