doctor says tuesday mom think might kill myselfmy mom sick autoimmune disease since  im  now whole life ive known disease would kill her months ago new hope formed stem cell transplant would cure disease moms last option cant ports disease final stages shell die next year without transplant took chicago week testing passed tests one doctors insisted other options the options offered work may influence main doctor accept mom accepted final treatment forced onto shittier treatment option disease spread die got hopeful would end could know mom would life got rid pessimistic view dying know theres good chance doctor may say no im crushed cant stand pain anymore might actually time