intrusive thoughts oh boyrecently feels like distract time else negative feelings catch flood brain tell everything sucks die get close writing redflag note leaving everything behind started days ago found someone thought good terms actually talking shit behind back im hurt feel feel like be im not importantly that im alarmed strongly feel need escape guilty feel want that dont want friends family sad dont want cats think abandoned them life insurance low housemates would move guilt thing thats really making stop think go anything havent told anybody thoughts dont want worry them set therapy appointment next week ive psych ward years ago dont ever ever want go again dont know need tell somebody