really want end itlately past months everything bit struggle me ive lost friends family relationships cant get funk last year almost ended life whiteknuckling rail prevent jumping front train things got better tried time time put feelings dread behind move life awhile worked come crashing around again father alcoholic abusive manipulator too gets plastered blames us making depressed point has drink hell work fit rage threaten kick whoever decides stand bullshit threatens leave mother instantly makes switch defending sister side cant anymore jobi love job many people work retail say honestly can lately stress home life impacting work boss taking notice disappointed performance nothing utmost respect boss knowing im letting another impact life honestly thing keeping knowing go im going really ruin best friends day hes supportive gave nudge right direction getting better hes one needed help most cant betray trust going behind back ending frankly cant keep dealing depression anymore im sorry wrong place post this needed vent seemed best outlet also im sorry whatever mistakes made format wise im using phone