wanna end cant sonim okay know this genuinely want swallow massive amount pills follow jack cupboard need vent get hopes feeling better son nearly  weeks old thing keeping here boyfriend amazing month  year anniversary cant tell feel way dont feel like really talk anyone beginning relationship told bi problem never knew react said liked girls specific featurefast forward year march april ans tell one day want threesomes ive done jealous isnt issue honestly love stuff im  months  lb baby stretch marks loose skin extra weight brought back every miserable part depression anxiety ive dealt since younger im still medication meds dont anything now sex life sucks feel like failure mom partner cant seem anything turn cant seem anything right anymore looks talks girls ive tossed aside tonight started smoking drinking cut hips probably scar wont bleed out im going reach docs meds feel lile im slippery slope mental health physical appearance son reason im still here cant leave without motheso im sitting sobbing  trying hard stick around thanks vent