almost  years since mother killed herself im becoming suicidal evernext month marks  years since mother hung herself whole messed family up dad drank death  years later months later older brother ran side world better ive here stuck feeling hopeless ive really tried really have granted ive got decent parttime job want do gave dreams photographer long time ago im getting age feels like late really something life cant afford better myself im living paycheck paycheck wasting time dead end job job im made feel useless terrible too every shift go home cry want leave city ive whole life theres real opportunities me plus cant afford get go like that im giving up hate life even more want die