past six months went break person ever let truly loved mentally ill family member threaten shoot me repressed memories molestation abuse work way counseling lost home break up bought th wheel cannot register title dispute three owners ago found father barely actually father much more last month living truck two dogs suicidal urges thoughts multiple times day seems like everytime think bottom something comes along kick teeth like passed redneck wearing steel toes feel fucked completely fucked work day play dogs pass again know get this housing rental prices soaring nearly impossible find one construction paychecks right now know do holding onto vague plan hope keep working something eventually get better not feel fucked beyond fucked one days reckon give in tie noose hope happens quick family friends another continent know chose post this guess would least like heard someone two pups abuela used say man plans god displans used powerful reminder form old saying feels like oppressive approximate generalities life it want sleep peacefully knows interesting title