helphello im  years old feel nothing live for suffer severe anxiety depression basically keeps room  little brother moms girlfriend used abuse lead mental faculties  times due suicidal thoughts bad behavior im scared feel whats best me dont want feel pain im tired shell former self miss people cared feel im alone cant tell people feel fear going back mental ward try open mom argues me anxiety makes almost impossible make new friends im scared go new people fear would think me im scared rejection whats point alive know im going alone whole life ive tried therapy years nothing works nothing worst person comes week tells feel need help feel alone cant tell anyone ill seen as coward im year behind school already hard enough feel comfortable moving friday away friends ill start new school cant deal pressure that want friends people care me people wont judge problems read this thank listening