hope allall want right jump window way end misery feel like one talk me dorm hall knocked friends doors there texted one friend asking wanted go dinner never responded college open parties never get invited any one texts asking want talk hang out cry time one wants me whenever cry make sure nobody hears me fear ill get attention fear one care cut shower days ago gets even people never talk ones reach once disappear like one friend texted year half ive diagnosed depression tried everything hospitalized three times went counseling week took three different kinds antidepressant meds plus two mood stabilizers nothing ever worked way ever feel better accepted like everybody else die im sure former never happen told death campus would affect entire community yeah fucking right get ignored life would get ignored death