tough joba year ago left good tough job oilfield tough mean  hour shifts lots heavy manual labor take lots ibuprofen year half body toughened great shape getting burnt out crew got split left float crew crew saved ton money felt like position leave find something better also fudge cdl hours could led losing cdl stressing that soon quit realized huge mistake spiraled depression attempted hang succeed coronavirus happened laid bunch people go back anyways non oilfield job see succeeding it theres chance might able get back oilfield still connections there im shape mental health good want go back mess go pain getting kind shape back weak hurt bad going commit today know hurt lot people