attempting redflag typeive posted story before hits whatsoever posted story depression hits whatsoever girlfriend gave hope decided leave me reason unhappy want drag her gave left unconditional love status shortened permanent residency live friends charity im burden around get see family someone took shot dog buddy security blanket understand people cant get attached animal obi damned ugly old deaf cockapoo mine needed alot needed me wed sit porch drinking arizona green tea hours hed sit lap let know still him im schizo meaning episodes things go bat shit insane me thoughts mine telling much failure one loves me lies loud often worst trip group intangible shadows swarming vision little freaky  minutes ive accused touching sistereditstepsister blasphemy highest degree dad gave me momma cant help me feel hope left thats lie im writing guess want go comatose couple years try later becoming difficult focus aspirin every  minutes im  now pitiful got around im tired hurt last year round bday slept friends mom year long relationship rings ohana whole nine yards dad pissed understandably kicked out estranged relationship there rambling now moved tn nc find work help her depressed abused alcohol month move  days bday june  wanted see people next day fucked dude long ago knew was right kind woman funny think guy age  would right cheating type opposed  old woman wrong kids grow bigger kids kids never chance kid funny eh im pill  im lost hopeless ive made many wrong choices many bad judgements hurt disappointed much im done now live ill check omg idiot nightsaber  comments not read fictional depressing story go way everyone last  attempts edit part sheepishly return let everyone know it moment posted momma contacted me couldnt knowing shed lose oldest son  superheros last night bro herman back nc old love ciara mentioned above momma no last names anonymity  sorry guys getting worked making others worry result bit selfish wanting badly would disregard made others feel primal way happened happened again sorry all last time felt low took  field sat bit thinking all time little bit going right now  last pill threw  minutes posting bouncing back pretty decent pace judgement one last time sorry everybody