someone please help im fucking close redflagive depressed couple years now one ever helps me counselors therapy even family feel useless worthless ive tried hanging multiple times even wrist scars cry bed every single night girlfriend used money fat shamed front everyone ive hospital multiple times landing purpose catching fights dangerous activities see come close dying im  know whole life ahead me already terrible dont want k ow rest like anyone advice me please comment need help could post days saying final goodbyes gun ready another rope even sharpened knives please help me need someone