want friends family sadearlier today decided wanted take life planned take full bottle xanax lying around old norcos drink handle whiskey slowly see could keep eyes open wrote letter telling certain people loved fault im sorry ive become unhappy person ive become selfish lack sense selfcontrol huge burden ones ive loved want keep them want worry put aside time comfort give someone talk to know ive disappointed hurt times cant bare person anymore hard knowing family close friends might blame want okay this want badly let know fault best want remember friend brother son always happygolucky used humor coping mechanism tried best good person right thing wanted make people happy help around me want remember part me want sad dwell could done something wrong fault im sorry reddit know post lost thousands posts people deserving help figured someone might read one day hope would understand mean sorry again