think going kill myself going use helium place sells helium tanks walking distance place anything week week stop tomorrow buy tank apparently painless quick mess wife clean anything gets home really really really unhappy thought would feel better went camping ended getting flu fleas instead thought killing long time especially got kicked army fucking pot  fucking months left would got anyways now  college working parttime miserable every day wish meth killed not even stopped using meth still fucking happy started taking zoloft made kind happy also fucking crazy stopped taking zoloft now constantly feel like coming meth tired this fucking tired well hopefully helium stock hi