manic episode everything seems possible much energy barely sleep  hours day working around clock compliments workcolleagues productivity driving manic state even higher go clubbing altered selfesteem makes appear charming attractive womenas usually weeks ago lack sleep physically degraded body much life collapsed like house cards again called sick week work piles up home became mess friends called asking reason suddenly responding  ashamed tell mentally ill think sick stop talking altogether accelerating depression even morei used reason writing today manic state met wonderful girl work laughed together partied together worked together became good friends fell love  never experienced love like that lost psycho   lost shared feelings feel way first  good friend would say  assured would affect friendship avoided me believe started seeing another guy hitting herwhat bothers never even saw depressive side knowing even best good enough sorry long post struggling manic depression years now