want dieas title states it want die ive antidepressants three years now thought could handle since cant afford eventually make enough money get meds wrong cant get job one wants hire person spotty resume im unmotivated anything lost motivation determination work art get things like find lost cat clean crappy apartment makes worse memory slowly fading im  barely remember last week roommates say chose different soup day even though sure chose certain one wanted im useless society want end life end coma want stop existing itd better wasnt around roommates would happier gone id cause less trouble id less burden already am