im suicidal anymore want kill spitemy life actually going pretty great once well parents decided lazy theyll throw next birthday june lazy aka found job applied several universities studied lazy mother untreated bpd worst fucking bitch know goes lovey dovey monster seconds were eating peacefully suddently starts yelling every time yelling tells kill myself honestly really want it spite her hurt her thinks words consequences always excuses abuse i angry telling give self harm made exactly that course yeleld child know says im joy life one thing stops offing herself want rip joy away her brings joy end make miserable show her abuse words meaning usually like this try understanding hate bothering anybody want peace quiet knows push buttons turn spiteful asshole wants harm