sick lonelinessi time low past months always dealt depression anxiety since   really shitty people life including moms abusive boyfriend showed awful things put knives neck mother barely functioning alcoholic abuse refuses seek help father wants little more later functioning alcoholic step mother able deal thanks help girlfriend time broke  months ago came crashing down felt lost person could trust issues person judge it together  years moved within week new guy likes tell terrible yet super good looking that makes feel awful weeks broke up step mother gave choice move fathers live grandparents friends playing board games they knew gave permission came storming house drunk screaming forgetting turn porch light every light door on sick constant mental abuse received treated younger sibling packed things moved night ever since life downward spiral looking forward college thanks know do feel alone helpless whenever try talk someone psych who barely get see work feel judged them want deal anymore sorry jumbled mess needed say this