type  diabetic wanting dieso yeah title kinda says am ive trying ever since little tyke back middle school avail ive kinda sat back never really talking anyone using videogames sort vent make feel like something good game becoming immersed helped get lot things ive felt sitting around building medical costs dragging super hard ive never job anything make money always get super nervous walk interviews beat time already moms house own car drive cant really drive job go college im pretty sure id become nervous wreck anyways ive also never really taken care diabetes made become incredibly aware body probably start break early friends start go know useless loser put makes want around feel like waste money time space food everyone around me also help never talked anyone id want relationship with im gay would really like someone stop care me know sooner later would fed useless am anyways ive contemplating whether now farm middle nowhere mom decided wanted move boyfriend middle nowhere since one wanted take go sit typing alone im pretty sure realize useless im sure theyll me really helps type ask people shoot breeze since internet bad cant talk friends play games help relax vent seems like whole life like theres escape mean ive though leaving one day walking going decide stop know really help either knowing  months ago tried od insulin woke hospital ive got like  medical bills straight highschool way pay them im sorry long im confused sure really helps vent people whove known motivations couple closest friends