anyone relate wth wrong meits year lost ability enjoy anything literally every kind fun activity became actually painful cant listen music cant draw cant read cant play video games etc without starting hate getting reminded terrible things happened past emotional reaction always severe must kind ptsdi even know hell im dbt eat healthy exercise take care responsibilities things obviously help life still unbearably painful start therapy september idk survive then told family friends one seems care much treat tiny bit better im guessing even understand im going through depression anxiety pretty much whole life even difficult accept everyone thought lazy weird thing im going much worse cant express words quality lifenot single minute could relax torture people keep telling im disciplined hardworking could never im doingbut literally nothing else do could stare wall change most amount fun possibly have sometimes get bored get back something useful instead