zero interest wanting live nothing appeals life really see killing future taking matter fact cannot see else mei want fall love want get job want family want hang anyone get pleasure anything except sitting ass day even bored timei know even explaining correctly wish never born could save parents pain losing kidi know going one day said myself i year sure past  years time going faster faster sooner later going finish year  floating around real world without clue direction told school ends day grows nearer getting overwhelming probably going even life changing decision life changing sure even life make decision want experience life