ive lost livei think reason wanting die piss people off need write down rent room house older lady dog world never expected grow attached anything am dog recently killed hit car wandering road night night left car mechanics car way get work ready night calling out got text friend asking wanted go dinner paying said sure love eat friends car arrived pick up rushed door dog started barking usually does out landlady got home took out dog got loose collar walked away land lady called her dog would listen started walking road got message land lady saying dog got loose wandered front car dog dead went numb felt numb ever since numb sadness even say goodbye rushed out reason wandered road looking me wanted daddy dog everything me world mattered me stayed home would alive lost without her really reason continue on doctor told tomorrow would last day would accept joy want dog supernatural forces real id sell soul see one last time tell much miss her sorry least telling id right back got home lady wrapped towel placed bed broke right there every time close eyes get moment alone see her little feet little body judging injury head tell least suffer struck death immediate want exist world without her raised puppy baby gone want die want exist anymore know would go choose end life overdose either sleeping pills liquid sleep aid alcohol want end bad every moment im alive never ending wave misery cant it mother family would never understand see strong one friends look advice see someone confidence life know death especially redflag would destroy mother im tired core being im tired wish could rest close eyes drift away forever know whats beyond maybe nothing something could see baby again want want see baby again life empty without her want live anymore previous activities used bring joy meaningless collection things now things im surrounded things would gladly give see dog alive one last time could least hold arms tell much love her say goodbye comfort her im sorry im sorry there ive let many others down want go anymore cant rest