please help me feel like everything catching up like running stop something horrid going catch me feel like entire world sheet turned vertical everyone stays still one notices whole world slipping sliding it clinging finger nails fall darkness nobody see fading away want die badly know got courage it want it bad make coward able it make coward trying escape ive put knives wrists ropes around neck ive walked front buses ive walked right edge subway platforms trains whizz by never properly always know never going go way finally put stop all terrifies me makes think lower sink yet cant handle getting worse would rather end now