feeling shitty year now get suicidal thoughts everyday yet pussy struggling lot gender sexuality fucking hate school starting college soon know cannot handle it parents always back got really drunk one night came mum bigender really know time felt right freaked next day parents room screaming me parents divorced explicitly told mum tell dad get never havethey got tested autism apparently gender identity issues autism linked regardless got diagnosed apparently really high functioning affect much life blamed never spoke again also pansexual last coming ordeal taught parents trustworthy supportive fuck coming again self harming  months now know wot time feel anything also wanting try girls clothes born guy got idea gender anymore know like girls clothes however way get any parents would definitely kick started wearing them friends pretty supportive know get me blame either makes feel alone one positive late tho happened day coming home friends decided run home instead getting bus pitch black blasting music actually felt pretty good anyway rant really know wot tf even know anymore