im okay right nowf ive depressed probably nearly half life now point hard imagine happy every day see friends living carefree life every single thing fucking ruined either anxiety able get couch somewhere last schoolyear anxiety got point panic attacks basically every day ended going school six months told would better afterwards suprise isnt see future myself know im ever going get anywhere im fucking useless theres litterally nothing change it past weeks ive thinking redflag basically every day imagining happy would let fall window bad before back always felt barrier holding back right clue go on im lucky supportive family know convey want comforting simultaneously want suffer want suffering end im lost right know do clue im posting this want get chest