wish could cease existhere depth article personal experience depression anxiety came  herehttpskayderellacoukdread tldr  started panic attacks due phobia vomiting escalated general anxiety ocd son caused postnatal depression top mental health issues feel like recently one bad thing another cant seem pick up made decision hand primary care son mum come january could attend nursery little normal friends expressed great distaste think best remains care three mental break downs many weeks considered redflag always stopped cant imagine someone explain three year old would never see again breaks heart write want happy cant help feel mess up feel like im enough him barely get anxiety depression great prospects work id like work home talents stand afford work on every time speak friends mum comes across though ill somehow cured things go back normal cant see ever normal again cant imagine living fear germs ready mum love little boy deserves good life cant see able provide