missed event looking forward years contemplating redflagso event happening today nyc ive wanted go years happens every year ive living abroad go really excited go year somehow got weekends mixed found today missed it ive contemplating killing past two hours finding out one reasons moved nyc wanted go event moved feel like failure missing im really ashamed admit friend missed even thought reminded go three weeks ago ive trying find therapist nyc anyone recommendations go please tell me live brooklyn cant contact pcp one also know need therapist every time feel fine convince im overreacting waste therapists time therapy three years ago felt like wasting time