ive extremely vivid suicidal thoughts one good thing life turned liei found bf hiding lot me could hiding know hid fact talking ex wouldve fine told upfront instead found phone even asked wont gf get jealous us talking said yea probably ill deal it found  days ago happened month ago last night found hung one days werent together we basically live together aside occasional night goes home take care things asked did denied til went messages together love think ever loved someone told past exs cheating exact things like doesnt care all want things work bc honestly thought one dont know ever trust him every opportunity gave tell truth decided hide things instead past  weeks suicidal thoughts gotten worse point scares me consumes every point ive extremely vivid thoughts havent frequently long time everytime saw him felt better felt safe felt loved hes highlight day best friend love life im going try strong clue how fact gave full trust thought would never lie hide things like others did find hes like them cant trust anyone im saying go him like one good thing had everything else shitty lately world cruel thought found one nice genuine person wrong good people