fuck would want dieeverything terrible tried writing th fucking attempt somehow worse first im trying draw year half  year old could better im terrible making friends even question goddamn sexuality  time cant stand toxic behaviour matter much ive tried anxiety trauma still stuck heart brain like c waiting make go mad second now death seems like even harmreduction could possibly avoid dissapointing tiny handful people still somehow believe me im fucking embarassement cant even write proper english motherfucking fuck even mother language cant take shit anymore guns even legal cant even kill properly end me