continuing declinewith quarantine curfew put place come sad realizations way life even called like so distant family preferring despite bitterly crying every night upon thought deaths wishing could forever lonely am even digital age waking notifications anyone advertisements videos uploaded one even wants speak me psyche hurting badly wishing could get lost die playing idea wouldve legacy died tuesday night  remembering one question left hallow completely empty psychologist would feel able see reaction family died apathic response gave resonating silence surrounding me replied would happy watching so impatience awaiting blow end me pushing edge crawl closer closer night sleep someone said do think world abandoned you never took first place mind rotten illusions would cause certain peace sense calm work anymore even critical am fantasy fictitious cause pain depictions echo poor miserable something call life seeing mirror meaning see somebody know recognize depth eyes dumb painting anxiety roof overthink anything everyone says does maybe entertaining focusing am want release death awaiting someone something simply push me hate whatever fuck am