herebut ami right herei money loving familyi selfishpridefula liar oni bad personi lonelyonly got  friend i use fake persona keep him however reason im herei used lonelysince childhood reallyi like itbut adapted it real reason life seems meaningless mei lost motivationsi life deciding exams monthsdidnt study allwhat exactly supposed fighting forto make family proudi already disappointed many times frankly care anymorefor nice little futurejust die one day old person cold hospital roomthats idea life like peoplei think even loved girl onceof course like back one point decided turn life aroundi going gym  years nowi studied hardi really triedbut lost acquaintances since started change herea long long time ago like peoplei wanted save others depths depressioni talk people telling life worth itit work somebut looking backi realize much hypocrite  end never understand seems easy others liveto happyto friendswhy natural them tired try anymorethe best part day sleepwhen consciousnesses shuts downsothats that