dont want help want get betterit sounds really bad know resources get help actually im getting help right working me agreed friend worried me isnt now never wanted help first place thing want help committing redflag going get better ive told three years counting im tired counting even stop depressed ill always know life pointless matter hard try ill never able give purpose something live for want end worry anything anymore work towards nothing live nothing die nothing ive started enact plan since im minor wont access many things  even buying medicine seem suspicious look young pass older  anxiety prevents even thinking mere possibility ill asked show id im set two methods since others seem unreliable give way living attempt obviously something want just ive given up know way get cycle die