know mean anything you try one closest friends took life  juniors high school im  now still think him im haunted fact feel like could done something i could haves never stop precisely writing this sudden bursts emotions feelings tears take surprise thoughts drift memories something reminds him passed group friends disintegrated separate parts  looking reason make sense all never could well never know real truth either thought one would miss gone wrong even know ive really accepted now know hurts never forget sight little brother idolized breaking never seen many young people funeral first funeral attended unfortunate someone age early life worries supposed wed ask prom wed get driving permits revelations turns thought burden family note told family would leave earthly body would worry putting college cremate instead burying save money whatever philosophy beliefs believe everyone good contribute core sorrow grief carry someone love passed immense thing is friend always  yearold funloving guy knew mind appears dreams time time trip seeing move speak dreams terrible tease  feel loss words trying describe feeling encounter wake realize none real never joy seeing go life sharing pain happiness couldve been call selfish wish done something life busy stop something ignorant something able forgive myself know mean anything you try third eye blind  jumperhttpwwwyoutubecomwatchvzn_fwsyhi talk httpwwwredflagpreventionlifelineorg edit added youtube link song thanks psilocybinmushrooms