 whole life bsim turning  days cant believe held long arms hurt lot due last bout self harm recall year ago said get therapy  weeks id dead well didnt tried know ill try again bpd hard live keep giving medication sometimes helps deny im childish enough to bad dreams sleeping withdrawal pain ive telling nearly  years want therapy want talk ive through went gifted talented college university drop out mistakes ive made cant handle no say theyre scared ill kill bring someone im also going kill dont go every day head alone want professional listen helo never do fucking want reach  want to