im going die im awful failure cant improvethis first time reddit sorry mess things up think supposed use throwaway account stuff like this reference im  nearly turning  want turn  im bad person ive failure while today day failed one thing want fail in year failed everything imaginable used student yet somehow im getting fs now ive gained lot weight worked out moved year today lost friends lot online friends ive removed all today made best friend hate me ones believed ones me today stopped friends ones ever felt comfortable venting around wanted return since theyve dealing mental health stuffthey used vent me stopped couple days ago started venting listened asked keep going pushed far hate me thought blocked email started vent there think could see it since thought blocked me didnt talked wished still friends the felt lonely guilty talked little wanting die said hated asked them want fail friend thing want fail in yet failed haete now ones left would care family feel like enough want live  anymore thing stopping im sure die yet think figure out want friends anymore ill hurt too think improve since could have wouldve point recognize everything ive failure in yet gotten worse year cant vent anyone anymore im completely alone except family even though care me cant trust anymore im going die turn  im failure every way imagineable now im even sure im writing since know cant helped genuinely want die now im awful