wanna diehey guys two years since moved canada study engineering university failed couple classes  maybe three first two years never felt homesick feels weird cant sleep night way go sleep stay awake long many friends highschool ever since moved ive kinda lost touch still follow instagram whenever see stories hanging fun feel depressed regret moving student loan debt dad pays tuition fee  were richwhich makes worse feel guilty told failed classes since poor gpa  im stage would kicked engineering im academic probation right now thing stopping ending mom mom loves much move canada  half hearted it eventually fine since wanted go wish never moved all cant stop googling easy ways die time think killing myself think mom would feel eventhough lot people love much  still feel lonely depressed mean know may going worse stuff might look like big deal trust know highschool heard students killing thought would anyone laughed it hurts bad feel like im disappointment dad even sold one houses could pay tuition fee feel like im failing him also another thing stops things education would became useless even death would fail him mean thought talking therapist something realized im broke insecure talk someone know reason im posting reddit stay anonymous also long distance relationship girl loved much marry even talking scared life whole time loved much threw away coward ghosted months break properly feel like push everyone away everyone cares me extroverted person even feel like talking mom dad even brother wake up attend zoom lectures  assignments study think able stop im required discontinue engineering wanted engineer since highschool wanna pass courses eager moved canada wanna die keep telling ever get opportunity die accident  take way parents think killed myself know stop feeling way read far well thanks needed tell someone also anyone thinks isnt big deal like wanting die failed college completely get please troll guys whoever reading this thanks listening ps  no like redflag note something felt like talking someone