supposed computer programmeri finished college got ba computer information systems social anxiety disorder ptsd never passed interviews programming position job hated  years started going back college second degree japanese goal teaching english abroad failed interviews need happy friendly plus guy ive relying spelling grammar check decade now cut it finished second degree yet family asking coding bootcamps seem make people successful trying code reminds matter like first interview time wasted it gotten programming job would probably enough experience go japan now seems hopeless life competition likable always lose guess ill live potential working restaurant forever