honestly hate know feeling feel nothing wake up always feel that cry every night personal things online things know nobody wanna support especially since im  years old turning  feel bad everyone around me experience sad look everyone else wonder happy usually try hide emotions im afraid getting called pathetic child sad im forced look happy hate it feels like im wearing fucking mask ive suicidal thoughts plans things ive self harmed many ways like cutting scratching punching even slamming fucking wall time time sometimes feel lonely like friends slowly disappearing guess keep venting without even knowing it brothers friend recently took life bad relationship father feel pathetic therapy doesnt shit me make fucking life worse dont know anymore life worthless always think negatively myself hate myself want stop pain