worst still trying hold onthe heaviness settling in eyelids heavyonly sleep wanted body heavy acheyeven smallest movement considerable effort mind heavy perception distorted motivation simplest things scarce eating chore ive lost good amount weight physically hurts smile attempts end tears confuses kiddo usually gets bad easier shrug store away past weeks harder getting worse im longer able remain numb ward sadness husband knows something wrong doesnt know help decade feeling helpless understandably hes it kiddo helps keep grounded stay away thoughts guide end pain all lately heaviness making harder mother want her knowing distortion whats making feel like burden everyone completely worthless lighten load