ending soonsuicidal thoughts new me ive almost done twice feel like ive living borrowed time forever tonight im going put end forever nowhere else turn recently lost job working home live house shitty internet landlord done anything fix it led many problems eventually decided renew contract feel like big deal time theyre pretty big company figured could get another job pretty quickly couple months gone nothing cant even get retailrestaurantfast food job lot places mode transportation get city ive tried looking similar jobs work remotely far ive bunch people lie lead blow smoke ass welcome real world guess ive overdrawn bank accounts car get aroundget another job feel like leech society im burden everyone know im fuckup life would relieved got rid myself tried crowdfunding project lastditch attempt get something going get feet ground one gives shit im stuck financial hell cant move back home parasite world would better without im ready stop delaying inevitable end it