im starting lose hope feeling scared futurei really happy today wife emailed saying daughter loved me brought spirits up difficult pay them need well paying job soon possible ba economics masters business living k got stabbed live halfway house life stressful two dismissed charges always pop background checks feel never get enough money pay family understand life needs difficult keep hoping keep trying going sad feel start making money soon game come springsummer know do life difficult  make easy live usa understand much difficulty understand one ever wants hire me one ever wants take care me one ever wants friends me worthless person eyes everyone interview with difficult