nothing else live hello starting off really dont like complaining people usually keep thoughts written notes apologize im annoying two times tried reach online ignored didnt really make ever want reach again im desperate so im  autism ever since young mother never really seemed care overstimulated yelled stop got older even getting diagnosed shes still telling overreacting hurts thats got weighted blanket first got it super happy look back it think bought thinking wouldnt deal overstimulating shield thing makes feel like doesnt actually care onto school throughout life friends left way am im repetitive loud understanding social cues something people really like thankfully met current friends dont care stuff seem drifting away band pe lunch leaves sitting alone time introvert aspie im fine alone problem occurs come back pe never talk theyre always talking other like im even sometimes hurts then boyfriend broke me really liked seemed good match me but due fact would sometimes go emotional support left me know drowning emotions wish didnt never see he goes another school cant drive reason want commit redflag nothing else live for cant live mother doesnt even really care cant live friends theyre living lives cant depend ex because well hes ex sure hell cant live myself hard explain because autism cant anymore left one would care theyd forget me everyone ive ever trusted seemed emotionally leave makes feel invisible want die