pain keeps getting worsea days ago came posting wasnt able take life anymore effecting me things gone worse catastrophic love life left weeks ago day mother died came first people comfort person asked wanted spend time night cause worried cause already depression self harm said busy assumed family grieving let be yesterday spent day talking comforting mothers death spent day work making sure okay knew really struggling asked wanted go over told already cousin someone else coming over asked person boyfriend course was got family walked room broke broke hard harassed people protected her would stay late make sure okay get hrs sleep go work wasnt spending night always phone loud ringtone could wake could issues middle night bought anything wanted never got mad shed go sister get drunk worried life night gave girl everything moved quickly thing kept motivated going life made feel like reason purpose keep living ive lost already new boyfriend cant handle it every night wake upset depressed always mind wake fall asleep thinking her smile giggle way blushed start cry want back badly see again planned moving together making life own fragments am broken heart want kill myself longing back want end all 