cant cant thisi hope ok post again posted days ago today horrible saw ex emotionally destroyed event saw lot ex friends hes friends with im forced see people lot certain circumstances anyway broke crying stop even xanax ended leaving event early parents offered move back town used live thats  hours away longer forced around them want though also want here want happy cant im zoloft take xanax needed rarely take though im still happy eaten today want underweight again hospital underweight months ago breakup blood pressure dropped dangerous levels hospitalized cant eat though im upset feel nauseous full cant eat wanna move wanna either nothing take pain away either need die get amnesia move ill friends ill hope making more stay current friends least deal seeing people made miserable lose lose situation hope wake morning