feelings comes want end myself know cannot try forcing go out ride scary shit go unstable online talking strangers night feel fucking horrible talk people it like problems even anymore absolutely force tell bothering you think about hell bothering anyway awful bothering me enough discontented life even alright never alright nothing left lost relatives parent close dying hate jinxing shit up life meant fucked anywayi know even want unhappy years ill old regret taking chances life know damn well able things now like sleeping playing games even fun shitty dreadful feeling hanging behind body like wanting take shit cannot think dying fantasizing die days die feels bit better remember kid thinking least id die id leave thousand dollars stacked floor room still imagine sometimes id run away far away golden gate bridge finish life talking people forced