looking supportive attempted redflag once unsuccessfully actually bit afterwords felt like made wrong choice deserved stay alive days feel empty though feel like im sleepwalking life kind funny today cake day account guess really must something time year fuck spring guess ive really terribly depressed feel like im going able claw way while know im going even graduate anymore second semester grades reached rock bottom used b occasional c student currently two fs one d cs across board elsewhere even pull things think college admitted still allow enroll im fairly certain big plummet grades result rescinding admission senior recital last tuesday show spent months practicing for got anxious got stage stop halfway set butchering every song walked stage tears ive started behavioral problems feel angry want act led getting first behavioral referral due calling teacher facebook reported it friends use car money stop hanging cut im desperate interaction keep around parents disappointed worried cant find success things want good im really sure im anymore think im going kill soon know how really wish life perpetual cycle shitty days