dying roomfor last years ive motivation m suffer lot physical things most undiagnosed know family history feel them motivation change life throughout years ive opportunities change life never motivation go them end either lack fear lack support network etc stopped me im supposed prime life nothing show it due person search socialization would encounter people would hate even though hate weird inferiority complex niche interests people would encounter people know sure think less of dont know word properly people cant stand due person get better thats settle unfortunately ive thinking killing years now  maybe ive state mind method redflag still process would like get gun go way things reality might hang belt process getting better know life really get better wouldve now think fate im fated end way would like things way go bang might die room