life fucked right cant even kill trouble would cause months think willwith girl last  years happiest time life literally everything could want life except kids possibility future gets amazing job offer state decide move job even though means months working get licensed practice law new state okay though savings salary support us supported residency sell house okay though combined income well able afford much bigger house together things going keep going up months move new state find thats online affair going year talk agrees cut contact go couples therapy repair relationship couple months go find stop talking all continuing affair lying therapy it confront shuts down done wants leave im back old state alone ability ever trust anyone shattered house job decimated savings love prospects family future sleeping air mattress friends guest room want kill would much burden friend clean things plan find job get money together apartment go back collect things fit car our house kill myself way stuff one easy place one deal someone living dying already executed new leaving everything sister thats plan