ever want commit redflag pain life bring feel need start overa years back raped dad adopted me completely messed live trauma brought me cant barely make connections people anymore feel im losing empathy im strong believer reincarnation think maybe could start over usually always believe everybody get better ive attempting better ive realized near impossible is cant live body anymore feel like infected rapists touch think dont kill eventually im going cut skin shave hair get away body im feeling hopeless everyday im sure talk it closest friend isnt great talking serious stuff dont feel comfortable talking stuff anybody else anybody know get rid emption really want live better myself mind keeps cursing thoughts know one day wont enough self control listen them