fucking lifei hate work cant stand it hate myself im still living parents think avpd im tired scared fix life im  depressedsuicidal  years now addicted weed sometimes alcohol times took ecstasy rave even home depression anxiety much worse since then social skills terrible im lost know do feel detached world im highdrunk time playing videogames listening music room im work cant stop selfdestructive behavior care health wellbeing friends gone im trapped inside head life feels like neverending nightmare years weed made worse too without feel like im dead inside want die nothing matters anymore easy im trapped fucking dystopian society kill soon swear cant stand wage slave life im dumb change it probably want to lost literally hope redflag feels like option left like since high school nothing cant save me know it