im scared best friend know itim totally loss know do short back story little trio friends two call allie basically weve real good friends past  years last year got thing allie dating  months allie broke things feel anything want waste time decided would take month figure allie wanted try not role around last week allie said no want don bit back revealed notebook write thoughts get bit therapy im dealing with learned today made notebook gave allie try communicate going through allie came today told written whole bunch stuff loves pissed would said another guy told part wrote wanting commit redflag just wanting put gun temple feel bullet go skull fade white ive noticed also past days normal self texted today telling wanted talk face face tomorrow without allie around im scared im scared him im scared might do know do hes best friend allie already one close friend commit redflag earlier year dose know would do basically need help tomorrow tell make want go care grammar proper structure post need help