hit rock bottom againi hit rock bottom big time absolutely nothing surviving goodwill others made sure keep firearm kill event instead chose sell licensed dealer use money try relax get shit together again suicidal long incredibly easy choose give give up insanely easy let others tell happy take pill drug fix hurt hollowness easy lay let world run over hard succeed start over harder strong inside close falling apart pressure thoughts past reward without risk one thing need love even now hope something better think hard everyone it good make feel help others way whatsoever can starts get better get bad again get better again go down highs without lows life wanted put post glamorize martyr horribly disadvantaged forgotten wanted put others know theyre end yet things better soon let be smell roses look stars learn read talk enjoy little things build there take one day time feel different tool end life held long feel robbed feel robbed myself feel better it like easy quit button hiding closet me instead theres huge outside world full different possibilities experiences conversations music food pleasures pains know truly religious think truly quite honest think sure afterlife makes time now good bad much valuable take mind add religion cherry top own ever let someone else take away self worth set bar whether low high cool someones eyes looked someone important people others hurt one things kept going knowing others struggling capable culminating negative thoughts though tormented see others give give up much hurts scares them causes huge ripple effect life important experience contrasts bind us ive learned depressed us caring toward others friends new old make things better even telling many little brainwash you remember good others try good yourself rest falls place let it enjoy ride remember laugh might get little direction would prefer see in