im totally alone wanted die monthsmy partner  years left month ago stupidly agreed move new place after got evicted old place today moving day want die want go like this left psychotic episodes got worse worse emotionally abusive ex ptsd got physical forced way room police got involved cant stop thinking violence want fix things know thats impossible blames throwing away relationship dealing mental illness ive diagnosed bpdschizophrenia anxiety depression bipolar ex thinks im narcissistim sick ill im tired mental health ruining everything brain fucked ive already tried kill like  times since  wish guts actually it would much better dead want live like anymore want move him keep going back thinking maybe theyll love never hate still loving someone vocal disgusting find me see point anymore