work making suicidali really big problems anxiety miserable  due work anxiety would rather kill go work another day fact think redflag every minute every day morning almost ran car wall  miles per hour avoid going today getting harder fight redflag point need money rent however pay bills also want hurt wife since death would devisate her really know everything life dependent job life risk job even could fight anxiety long enough get new job help would hate job anxiety too really know med doctors help really think doctor medicine changes would help fast enough point need advice anything