weekends dismaleverything seems good week days great friends doin well school met great girl weekend comes always hope ill happen again always does every time same stepfather dickhead mother unstable alcoholic thing hear shouting door slamming  weeks ago however heard something noone hear mother say  i want die almost did took kind pills concerned obviously moved on pretending nothing happened today situation almost again terrifying part that while wished would die maybe would better easier without her cant function normally family tried help everyone family tried nothing works long go like this monday come ill hopeful again itll change anything would easy give up would say would love me feel like disappointment yet try hard