whyso start little story life off  years old months ago went spell wanted kill myself reason typing today friends sent farewell previous night texted mom let know going on back was except much much worse texting friends lot asking help fear death yet want die reason previous depression stage memories raped step brother resurfaced think about add onto that extremely introverted socially awkward causes prime subject bullying told several people kill even people used consider friends cherry cake girl ever loved said yes going date text till got boyfriend lead physical insecurities arising well sat bed  weeks without eating yet still feel overweight despite people telling im not surfing internet looking bullsht reasons finally kill myself doubt anyone actually read even see this are kill myself