anyone else miss magici feel like last years common sensation ive experienced intense brutal nostalgia keeps coming back ive moved childhood home family friends got place started career ive started realize empty life lonely im destined be everything dreadful bleak pointless life cycle suffering stress existential crisis working pay bills living paycheck paycheck spending hours friends even really care about years feel like everything gets darker darker nothing excites anymore want child feel magic used feel world  magic running soccer fields friends magic walking mall shooting shit watching sunset outside bedroom window dreaming girls school everything hopeful about magic pushups front mirror feeling like going badass magic long car rides backseat parents car watching roads fly by magic feeling like much life  much experience nowadays feel like everything wanted already passed by adulthood long spiral decay unhappiness isolation maybe human beings meant live tiny part lives happy hopeful spend rest lives desperately chasing feeling theres nothing left im empty tired every day feel kind hope want badly feel something deeply kid theres constant dullness im starting see signs age face hairlines receding skins starting wrinkle talked anyone weeks im unemployed single three years soon ill probably homeless ive stopped eating ive stopped sleeping well months ago made car trip old town parents long gone friends one visit walked around old house old schoolyard trails friends used bike around got pang heart intense wanted burst want die want live knowing ill never magic again