ive never felt like would easyive battling depression suicidal thoughts awhile posted long agoim mobile know link another thread going detail set feelings ive thinking redflag daily basis things started get slightly better met girl school started talking set date friday canceled due strep said wanted reschedule friday bit today said things started get serious someone else one classes want friends me feel incredibly shitty feel like im constantly used placeholder girls better options come way took  sleeping pills earlier day get sleep pass time ive taken  put back sleep numb mind feel bad feel worse ever have anytime theres even little bit glimmer hope flickers plunges back darkness cant think anything killing myself ive never felt like would easy actually able follow through always much fear actually it fear nearly non existed right now im temlted grab gun quickly pull trigger get with even things somehow get better shit hole life cant possibly worth pain plus im dead like im going regret could been want pain stop hurts fucking bad cant take anymore