definitely kill myselfi lied brothers face today said finally goal lose weight truth going kill fall year already made mind decided redflag best option right now losing weight nothing make feel better ive already dieted lost  pounds past still suicidal depressed loser  pounds lighter ended gaining weight back plus  pounds today first time worked  years hopefully  years ive finally stopped keeping shitty facade ill long dead then theres reason want stay alive hope nothing life except successful redflag