long oneim early s  student loan tax debt mention  owe mom horribly failed apprenticeship parent plus student loans previous education cant afford pay wants move florida retire shes disappointed person ive become im living paycheck paycheck right  name might homeless  months cant stand sober im eating potato chips dinner tonight make till next paycheck family pretty much written friend verbally abusive put literally one else ive mentioned couple times im feeling suicidal doesnt seem care every relationship ive failed miserably hands debilitating anxiety panic attacks ive unsuccessfully trying treat  years im  sure milder form autism adhd nobody addressed childhood health insurance get sort diagnosistreatment clean underwear im even able afford god damn laundry stink high heaven dont energy motivation shower whats point anyway fault rough dying seems much easier living im ready leave incapable choosing way go every decision ive ever made adult life bad one god forbid try fail cant fail need one smart decision ever make die fucked that anything hope post makes least feel better situations would make happy dont think ill much longer tried best never good enough bless heart youve read whole thing