christmas depressionbefore start native english speaker far good guess everyone else problems rly need get chest cos killing me girlfriend  years broke half month ago ive super busy work got somewhat depressed again depressed like  years now got episodes feel kind ok month ago met another girl start judging me never cheat life felt connected first second lot fun laughed lot couldnt get head even now girlfriend broke up without telling her girl also reason perspective special time year realize lonely am parents deworsed isnt rly anything going xmas means stay home drink day drugs started weeks ago ive addicted youth really looking forward new years eve cos wanted see girl pals live far away here study girl wont here til second january guys arent comming home either means alone again wanted talk girl feel stuff got friendzoned chance react mean bad looking play sunny guy pretty well making jokes fun with seems interested pretty much nothing sad about guess past depressive thoughts fragile mind really hurts me even relationship rarely positiv episodes drank cut daily base really need someone there smart think someone would actually care dont care moment want someone pretend someone hold stop falling point would even love see comment knowing someone wasted time reading this