scared brothers life amp know domy brother currently hospital recent redflag attempt first terrified gets hospital  days amp think belongs outside world yet jail  months th dwi pulled bar parking lot front truck causing wreck hit couple traveling  day old baby according report one hurt brother went jail better ever terror incident inflicting self harm multiple occasions cut hand amp even shot stomach though always claimed accidents  months allowed halfway house set  per hour welding job even began   days halfway house snuck property buy liquor cut hand razor fence way back  witnesses said watched cut hand purpose brought er stitches night suffered seizure credited synthetic marijuana use though prone seizures alcohol withdrawal past long history tourettes syndrome seizures jail well brought back er day seizure amp next morning attempted redflag cutting throat left redflag note amp everything hospital amp fucking judge declared  days psychiatrists hospital sent home trial instead back jail halfway house im fucking terrified loose cannon amp physically big stop tries anything honestly even want around time amp afraid happen tried many times get seems disconnected soul amp hell bent abusing himself know do scoffs mention meditation even reflection amp honestly wish somehow forced stay asylum jail safety protect brother himself