fuck missingim trying really fucking hard okay ive done nothing try fix im getting fucking worse supposed do im fucked man im fucked dont know do im lost alone scared fuck im  ive suicidal years now dont know do nobody knows gave me everybody gave wish didnt miss many people really wish still here dont feel much anymore empty im even sad anymore emptiness hurts sadness wish sad angry dont care anymore ive completely fucking given up im done fuck supposed fucking rigged man matter end worse cant fucking bothered bullshit bullshit everyone much happier deserve im fucking child ive felt dead since  man why time anyone shows compassion mother crying me people doctors counsellors get involved yet firste reachecd anad told going tos kill laughed me wont make  wont get married wont children wont job car anything meaningful im much lazy depressed cunt anything dream redflag hide room fuck want jump man cant deal it keep slipping things keep looking good moment end again always again fuck