wish people caredim guy im  ive cleft lip whole life made depressed ive actually tried kill couple times it enough courage anymore baby sister im scared life could affected death right feel alone nobody life seems care  friends want around make depressed parents mock tried commit redflag think problems typical adults understand passing someone hallway school makes shake im nervous anything productive know nobody permanently help feel better ive always thought back head girlfriend a girl loved was would happy always makes feel extremely guilty everyone tells worry first also doesnt everyone want relationship makes special guess im posting here hopefully nobody say that think thing could help even girl hugged me would make happy long time year ago got hug girl best thing ever joke nobody cares tried  times actually know many spent many many months talking girls absolute best patient respectful nice mention depression feel like thats best could do girls even want talk me confidence left embarrassing like said everyone tells im young nothing worry about friends call bitch bit emotional thing done made everyone else happier shutting saying nothing want shut good