pretty severe suicidal ideation think im even depressedpretty much every night past week ive falling asleep think killing myself even feel depressed right now ive always depressed suicidal thoughts along lines i wish exist always thought redflag abstract almost never something id actually do feel like maybe ive normalizing redflag mind past  years tonight managed knock cup nightstand asleep threw towel tried go back bed ideations hit hard af seriously thought driving walmart buying gta utility knife cutting wristslt almost crying wanted die bad kind want buy one sit bathroom think it maybe seriousness situation dissuade me know stress school honestly day almost feel happy content least put pressure get as semester hard think unrealistic huge problem set due class tomorrow probably worth  grade thats half done im  still live home quit job go back school full time ive given permission kill things work school time feel like last chance know do job essentially money insurance think therapist option im college student theres schools counselling services im honestly afraid talk know theyll react say honestly im sure point thread was really ended rambling nothing ampxb guess anyone advice talk felt alright day overwhelmed night