feel trappedlet start bit back story young age ive always second thought family due unfortunate things oldest brother diagnosed cancer  second oldest brother diagnosed ataxia telangiectasia age  far ive fine  year age gap us youngest ive always kinda background helping ever can going back years mum diagnosed cancer well around  time recently lost nan used spend every waking moment with thought losing mum well extremely overwhelming me dad never really looked  kids quite challenge him mum hospital months end hed get us takeaway food every night led extreme weight gain thankfully  years mum given clear cancer came fighting left obese  year old kid bullied every day school trying keep brave face parents already enough deal caring disabled brother everyday fast forward  years ago big plans go game designer hope one day could create games like ones self use play wanted get away real world went college study game design animation amp motion graphics fell course tutor decided enough people course changed photography claymation now ive schoolwork everything around  years feel trapped brother lack better term vegetable absolutely love change world parents getting life able tend well younger pretty much help move around lift clean etc etc kindof act main carer lumbered since  cant help think stay home try best look him cant help fell trapped cant leave duty look him every day feel like would better died call horrible person life everyday become depressed looking wanted life taken me may sound selfish cant help think one way out