dont know doive spent last  days wondering check psych ward say fuck it pain losing love life best friend much wasnt son would ended now hes  rain living getting morning point dont know long go for cant relax cant sleep feel much guilt shame feel guilt shame feeling way too ive considered going back heroine id feel better maybe would get lucky die overdose needing actually myself dont want get arrested going withdrawals dont want anything want go sleep wake up cant even sleep pass talking enough sedatives keeps taking more im afraid soon stop working escape thats make decision do