probably belong herei nothing complain about ive never abused great parents supportive gave great childhood never bullied never problems fitting in good job rewarding allows financially comfortable im ugly physical ailments people generally nice me ive never even heart broken beautiful wonderful wife love tolerates me nothing stability love whole life want end it theres weakness me im soft slightest adversity sends spiraling im taking meds maybe need idk believe life make it meaning except give it im lazy want anything action dozens ambitions know pursue ill scrape exist im lazy complainer nothing complain about real problems im process making sure wife easily access money assets im almost done writing goodbye letters theres nothing live except spair family pain thats enough anymore tired feeling weak im tired feeling like man simultaneously weak willed anything it diet exercise medication meditation ive failed im it im scared everything feel alive right amount alcohol me im done