pain weighing downi wonder taboo redflag person admits considering it like sort line crossed something like said something makes fucking sense wrong sometimes wonder ridiculous people even good story ridiculousness shit accepted accident car accident right leg fucked up severed mcl tore meniscus fractured femur shattered patella sucked  months surgeries pins shit knee recovered though go wheelchair crutches single crutch cane  months walk without limp learn walk again tough something look forward to getting better normal again work it tangible though different problem spine hurts pain take  medications day go physical therapy  times week hrs go sleep pain dream pain wake pain things teach deal cope one say help out train deal pain teach body avoid things make worse cant work lost job pain encompasses every aspect life im crying you way live cant live like this leg fucked up something look forward too getting better now pills classes deal it life pain day night change classes pills coping never changes miserable way live cant live like this ask this many years long ok mean put animals misery okay end it destroys me seeing family every day every day day consists another session misery trained deal with fix get through when point thing consider miserable dragging family run bills take resources happy life way live tell me not tell theres circumstance consideration tell call number generic shit want tell fucking sin terminate failing situation complete failure would keep someone stopping pain ruins every possible way could feel okay stopping person ending misery