idkive already trying improve years im  gotten where im physically fit working management degree trying find internship still feel same honestly feels like waste time enjoyment felt kid making kids laugh know wanted sort positive influence others around profession got ill  lost friends confidence went them since ive trying push myself gone events societies try get know people nothing works ive tried good person offering support help wherever still friends know somebody day never see again ampxb ive applied  jobs cant even manage strike one those whats point somebody like living normal people live survive shit  years rot die seems selfish mundane decades pointless torture ampxb wish bitch could go ahead already fucking hate shit it something plan ahead leave debt behind