may loose full time job full ride scholarshipill try keep quick basically im good situation right young man im special program fully pays education teaching trade pays k year basically right high school zero debt living comfortably independently recently ive hard time retaining understanding certain concepts trade resulting low grade evaluation  points failing dont get next month loose everything im getting tested add see thats problem complex trade anyways know fact ill never get opportunity like im seriously considering ending get firedkicked program believe god think anything supernatural happens die feel like life truly pointless never understand existence end all also seeing much evil violence environmental destruction world makes want part reality anymore bring grade job up graduate keep money flowing see reason give life