im really shitty human deserve iti really want end right now ive dark place like hardly life couple times thought slipped mind never acted it im still really doubtful would act really want to went couple abusive relationships met guy nice me really messed ended seeing one abusive exs contacted couple times know stupidest thing could possibly done know making think good idea guy devastated know hes really hurt it good guy finally go back abusive ones know whats wrong feel awful want punish hard can