maybe im young think wayim thirteen seventh grade im bipolar really doesnt help situation ive depression problems redflag since around ten really got bad february dating girl two months really abused mentally decided call bad idea lot friends since popular pretty much everyone hated hit friends thought dick pulled school shortly after decided get another online school even though one sixth didnt go well decided start talking old friends also mistake thats first real redflag attempt happened around one am one knew two belts one friends mothers number knew something wrong knew took away belts didnt really care though assumed sudden burst guess contemplating again time lost courage last breaking tears eventually started playing games pc again friends brother introduced his good friends least sometimes would act immature mean ages would brush off like last time home schooled didnt work fucking lazy anything wanted play video games numb mind spiraled talking family anymore even brother poor dad got movie watch fucked defending brother thought dad stern im dumbass mom argue daily hear dads voice dont see face anymore dont talk brother anymore school fucking me wish could die im disgusting fat coward twice opportunity sweet release chickened out cannot buy gun one option bootleg belt noose fan reduce pain noose may finally die