open letter lostboys j  j know other knew you want say much either alive could write hours hours never even begin encapsulate life love joy seemed like two had words describe smiles could lift little helium balloon happiness stomach heart beautiful smiled seemed like content people always say eyes window soul never see then see blue skies clear waters saw love friendship young men living life life live seen tragedy sadness desperately must felt even now idea desperate felt know much sadness heart held closer one good friends need apologise maybe else going hear it im sorry never seeing taking issues lightly listening problems enough im sorry hearing saying without listening feeling im sorry reach harder closer look heart feel pain needed someone feel im sorry last way thing try pull back in im sorry together party proper conversations happened am better friend talked sadness mention blues foolish thought world feet opportunities hope thought time thought future us still owe three cigarettes left gaping holes lot lives know really truly knowing beforehand wouldve made difference knowing amount love genuinely surrounded wouldve made difference living not guilty possibility feel waves waves anguish honestly glad cannot find out cannot know better friend either would alive right now listened listened listened opened heart wide would go alive facebook happy birthday messages theyd wrapped joy party hats meaningless comments instead haunting sadness feels thick even though computer screen im sorry try harder know more im sorry loneliness consumed you noone break out wish could see love think though see pain adore