back itso im dire many people here figured least somewhere help get thoughts it throughout relatively short life ive lost  good friends redflag sister cancer girlfriend another bloke part blamed good enough friend help them sister end good enough keep girlfriend me needless say sent pretty shit place while prior today  attempt life sculling bottle ritalin fortunately didnt shit make head fucked week since ive professional help went clinic  weeks what considered recovered good year  however quite miserable couple weeks feel nothing nagging youre wasting life feeling cut happened particularly today caused im going jump driving back home driving upset ive figured life aint gonna change made sure one around gassed play game chicken tree thing stopped fact ik meeting best friends girlfriend  days didnt want ruin him long story short spun small ditch side road luckily without dents parents would killed me im feeling better right im going driving little bit my choice yeah rest trip screaming stupid shit anyway think thats it thanks anyone reads this feel little better writing im glad did  polo