ok so  drop one prestigious college country studying major biotechnology engineering  lived alone without job nearly year eating nothing white rice sometimes nothing all lost  kg weight sometimes could sleep came mom kicked home talked shit brothers want see anymore came grandma house actions let know nobody wants here cannot find job surf countless amounts memes eat much since invite food  sometimes eat anything maybe eat leftovers feel like worthless piece shit unable find job got precious gf think deserve her pure sometimes want break use sabotage myself tells give up hard understand grew home money know sleep streets nothing eat well methis saturday birthday going alone know monday yet another suicidal advice