typing therapeutic thing help thinkyknow writing envision words screamed flow mouth like fingers across keyboard like end shane koyczan poem know word it sound decent though put simply want die child need emotions motivation nothing nobody one person love  fell friend straight window that loving parents entirely aware care cant cant love them wish could recent lost friend recently admitted hospital hes sick least month now insomnia keeps awake trust issues paranoia keep away classmates become numb joking cries help use front one friend hell probably leave  enjoy company throw padded room like everyone else know hell react personified demons point see them ive seen one whos since childhood numerous times now supposed tell anybody see real life im insane none makes sense hate feeling most confusion weakness etc spend almost time computer  today spent   hours front bluescreen abyss place reaches beyond hell finds mundane like live this patrolling lurking subreddit playing crappy kongregate games none worth it parents berate overuse computer never aware always oblivious pain heart know people care caring front make many people cry dead th grade know laugh insult th grade th grade want die im man past teen years abusive home terrible situation im  maybe id feel empathy sympathy whichever ever did never relate cry loss unloved never felt emotions havent innately love past years functioned machine calculative logical mission remember was therapy never cup tea first two th grade still operated motive felt frustration towards ignorance classmates lack connection them next one never beneficial remember name probably more ted absolute trash thats was always smiling always enthusiastic happy see me fit therapist never understood related me never made attempt to smiled asked questions prodded signed family issues my dad outbreak think traumatized brother never cried idea trying do pissed off hell expect reply with know really dont want hear people care life gets better ill overcome things matter happy would make forget want normal without magic pill edit noticed errors fixed because again nothing better do