loneliness eating awaywhile im  feel like ive living forever summer apparent reason group friends started exclude little little today day got point im even friends them cant even tell started dont know going going weekend whole day staying home thinking im missing happened cant keep going on first day too found today separate group chat without hanging without giving excuses couldnt would never straight say stop talking us know there reason im going keep talking school dont look like loner  loser feel even excluded dont know deal loneliness know people want talk online chat play online games friends none substitute physical friends laugh with also came realize never entire life friend  us group one person always deep conversations with one month beginning summer nope turns one ones hates most dont even know never talked said besides eachother think myself many would show up think would keep image friends tbh would letter specifically call let people know arent im junior small highschool cliques cant find new group friends think future used passion drive biology yet today find even wanting anything it dead want join army force grow up died combat least would done something dont know expect want chest figured appropriate roffmychest