life stressful hard time living itwishing dead without courage go recurring theme life  peaks now  high school young stupid think plan tried hold breath sleep lot blankets hopes id manage asphyxiate myself  learned gf pregnant yeah say im shitty human being happen way wanted happen surprise managed live it night actually rolled good  minutes incoming traffic lane highway plain didnt care  minutes many plans  right now gf feeling hot  kids wants quit job become stay home parent above potential losing job coming month able find new job trying manage raise  kids financial stress working wish could stand up take measures manage emotions cant get angry try let take kids yes sometimes smallest thing make overreact feel like shit cant make anyone happy know people care thing know push people away im even trying push kids away even good days make insanely happy many plans falling asleep garage cars working haning balcony hammer head u til pass out even roof workplace always unlocked never told anyone never courage go through im scared kids im scared gf parents holy fuck want die