ive always told it work somehow it get better somehow  really doesnt somehowim chronically suicidal worry anything thoughts redflag intent vent dads icu heart attack open heart surgery suddenly given task handling everything family mom incapable understanding details insurance works get set rehab apply financial assistance take care rehab handle household finances hes recovering mountain shit top mountains shit lets even mention mom concept money spending lot hospital access finances concerned spending hes saving income taxes separate savings account financing casino trips monthly social security check sick people telling worry things work out never unless someone took responsibility typically thats me parents live squalor heat bath facilities working washer dryer trailer rat mice insect infestation mention black mold problem family gets sick every week moldcat urineexcrementlack hygiene mom gambling addiction yard junkyard hoarders one cannot move house easily think almost worse homeless tried address living situation many times fallen deaf ears tried years help dad icu things never critical offered little money ive trailer several times try clean up mom stops throwing away trivial garbage objects like old plastic grocery bags cats urinated on one week ive managed clean small part kitchen found nastiest things ive ever seen left property crying throwing back way pills cant take stress right now yes im depressed right stressed beyond anything think before thing going life im considering calling county place condemned leave streets never live me hard deal this want advice guarantee ive heard  times need vent write out