title suggests planned kill last night precisely plan electrocute really require lot prep go details specific act due fear someone might attempt recreate it anyways would second suicide attempt first one year half ago stabbing neck times elegant suicide method admit looking something elegant time diagnosed dysthymia persistent depressive disorder  years ago changed therapists medications nothing helped enough feels like life postponing suicide since first attempt bright side selfharmed since hell want sometimes every bridge every speeding car every kitchen knife every rope every policeman even see way death main question people might title  go it no why know really instead went run which usually temporary mood boost goes away quite quickly tired it still want it yes yes yes stopped today friend mine birthday today want ruin even really close postponing sure when anyways thanks time hope better suicide attempt planned last night