friend died feels like faultso im social person dont many friends well dont anymore know sad friend dog rufus ive  years took family disowned drug usage wanted friend slowly climbed back almost going back normal fella society hes gone tumour didnt money pay surgery feels like ive killed one care one cared me know might sound exeggerated ive thought ending al bond years spent together idk im trying reach typing here perhaps putting al words calms mind even im struggling post this see this bid farewell