forced sex again refused became violent mentioned friend wanted sex hoped jacking would good enough overheard punishment slammed wall table thrown floor pushed back telling quit kicked ground heel kicked back panic attack collapsed unable breathe spent nights waiting pass out never did running small miniwinnie chased knife dog would come table she rescue abused would trip up letting escape hed hold hostage letting spend night cold boondocks common truckers come cougars attack farm animals pets felt sober enough would chase road hundred yards would walk three miles town wait park police station sure hed passed out