worth anymoresince  likely before cant really remember much childhood ive wanted kill myself cant shake feeling life isnt worth it effort just wasted worthless investment made without consent generates pitiful returns everyone expects hyped about well im not job takes things love crams full much kafkaesque bullshit nearly unrecognizable adhd struggle something im personally interested meds dont last day hell even working feels tainted knowledge could taken away moment would without question pop enough opioids kill horse six times happened last time took iq test middle school back took meds would miserable class id end running around reason knows shit results got  got put gifted classes couldnt simplest logic charts didnt care basically seen class moron whats point intelligent fucking useless im taunted biology itself teach anything care second actually fucking need something im pencil tapping leg bouncing chair spinning thousand yard stare stuck head sack shit salt fucking wound knowing able successwhatever fuck meansbut idiotic lazy fucking ass would rather study shit thats entirely irrelevant work stacks up ive lived life skin teeth cant even feel last minute panic anymore fuck kinda adult even says shit dont want anymore im fucking tired