context diagnosed mdd probably asdnot actual diagnosis least think looking different signs concurrent long remember hospitalized suicidal ideationi turned  recently oldest child live mother younger brother argue lot usually brother mother i mother brother problem case attend therapy nothing notcannot talk much mom hard money sick upcoming hysterectomy dad paying child support mom argue lot brother argue answer question continue ask mom yells argue back disagree try raise voice seem end argument probably something wrong argue always boils trying kick redflaged is cry tell bad mom redflaged is always gone like since  bad mom problem me clear want blame took equation things would fine time reluctant feel depressed right way convinced right idea posting here clearly doubts thought best say something somewhere feeling depressed feel like everyone would benefit killed myself