holei feel like one hear me feel disgusting im trying find ways hurting right wrongs hate skin am apart inferior race earthblack ugly acne made want kill myself even more body disgusting avoid mirrors gay worthless added stress ruining life hate natural feelings sick wrong born cursed feel alone untouchable jealous normal good looking people see couples walk get sad dont deserve shitty card god hates everything am wouldnt give switch make normal instant still here im scared kill fear messing up dont want make mom sad depressed wish older brother athlete married christian kid moms favorite hes everything family wanted follow by killing would give family gratification knowing faggot like got deserved eternity hell heard hateful shit life know kind deserves end im tired waiting im sorry long post  anybody reading this crying out nothing im changing sexuality im going fucking conversion camp done world worthless makes sick want somebody sometimes somebody cares awake im tired feeling like sack meat dragging across floor day deserve fate murderers rapists fucking hate this