im better im rly scared ill rebecome person againi suicidal thoughts long time seen piece shit thats worth living made chart would put pros cons killing reason didnt would scar little sister life mom would say fault kept going  years im  actually getting better started working showering etc  years careing something fix week running reason im better girl know seems care lot im rly scared ill go back feels good able go friends without feeling like dont belong acting goofy dont seem quiet im petrified night think ill become person created dopamine rush love ill pass passes