running optionsmy life general going downhill past year started passing uncle felt quite close to suffered panic attacks depression kept calm outside people assumed ok around end may learned girlfriend almost two years cheating another guy ended honestly ended cruel treated poorly would try nice still maintained conversation month around june sister suffered cerebral palsy passed away really took turn worse recovered decently uncle passing handle sister passing hide emotions anymore exgirlfriend tried comfort me pushed away cruel her became cynical rude asshole today developed horrible anger issues still cant cope stress either break take anger went agnostic fullblown atheist pushed away lot people close friends understand wasam going put it feel reason friends cynical normally people like us fast forward little month ago august early december missed exgirlfriend attempts reconcile ended poorly me decided actually try work emotions anger issues believed changed approximately  months worked  weeks anger issues came back realized stopped worked together help me thursday left stating still need change honestly came surprise everything going quite well made new steps together even plans near future want talk all talks planning together future last thing kept going ive lost her