made worst decision life cannot see living ithey reddit wanted start saying always insecure never found much value person always one gorgeous friend high school always me saw ugliness always talk me fast forward year second year college decided date me seemed like dream come true happiest man alive honeymoon phase two years passed ups downs mostly ups happiest two years however clingy emotional constantly nagging doubted faithfulness reason enough done brightest light life left threw away opportunity obtaining wonderful women inside out definitely gone live regret live knowing time able attract girl league fucked up left ambition goals interests cannot see anyone future could everything was even did would never give chance like best friends years beforehand deep sense tremendous loss infinitely compounds feeling regret shame cannot take anymore someone talk me