im done trying feel betterthe reason im still alive know mum devastated ever killed myself ever passes im still state im going hesitate ending life shortly after im almost  take meds go therapy nothing seems help enough dont want around anymore hate feeling like this wouldnt wish upon enemy brain feels like constantly like static tv wont shut overthinking do think im running options dont see living past  got accepted health science degree dont even know wanna try know im smart mental illness holds back think cant anything im good enough need fucking help dont know anymore ive run options