ive got dilemmai suffering alot lately breathing anxiety depression way worse before get exhausted cant move feel like unable breathe tired feeling way anxious  feeling depressed ive decided want continue suffer anymore end pain ive wanting longest time ever since  never successful unsure guess tired ever pictured death  times day dilemma met someone weeks ago says likes alot ask whats like says im gentle nice see words made feel nice im going hurt him thats sure im evil nice im definitely going worth anyones time also got closer friends became closer clubbing planned stuff like discovering new bars future actually really looking forward that discovered loved drinking feeling high partying wth friends made happy short period time want plans happen but somehow feel like matter feel like im forget pain temporary mind im thinking life definitely worth it end pain forever end life packing things dont want stuff kept want forgotten want theres still time change mind im scared im scared prolonging pain feeling worse know do