reaching friend yes noim much thinking killing myself years getting worse recently realized dead inside life me outside things brought past still present realized even without them nothing want fight help want wait around future would like done one friend weve distant past three months id like reach talk him though even know would about want ask help know want but somehow want let know bad im feeling even let know want continue living problem arises distant emotional problems bad experiences knowing people committed redflag past figure farther away me less talk less killing hurt him reach out cause great distress im gone and after im pretty sure would blame himself think correct answer reach out positive reaching would help alleviate pain distress would selfishly adding his suppose im looking opinions and incredibly appreciate replies else talk this please refrain telling love me killing would waste talents world beautiful none relevant makes feel terribly ill