hey allim exactly sure im going write want someone hear im thinking friends could ask feel uncomfortable talking emotions perhaps knowing makes easier ive created account reddit post actually never used reddit account now different note heres want read days feel passion enthusiasm guilt excitement anything really cant say why idea nothing really traumatic happened me friends family partner im currently attending college future ahead me speak really matter me care put mask people around me easier believe fine except reality not think many things days go by these sporadically get thoughts killing people around me pass people streets believe superior others thoughts want something done properly might well myself know think way know everyone moral value myself part stands though block out anything without feeling guilt sometimes cause others pain intentionally unintentionally though try anything draw negative attention stop smiling im happy it this everything else emotional response me enjoy gifts material objects attention anything else make feel anything go day feeling blank going b completing tasks takes serious effort bare minimum tires work assuming bored high hell aware redflag watch im going get part now enjoy thought redflag self harm entertain thought frequently took kitchen knife chest considered piercing chest presumably noone would found dead blood loss family home recall reason resisted temptation simply wasnt time yet accompanied feeling apathy everything stated entirely think daytoday basis im honestly sure expect say anything creating helped sort thoughts im going sleep now anything say however feel free comment ill answer see it thank reading this