please give advicei feel like life chance improvement relation family described anything cold downright abusive even though friends support me ive never been despite trying countlessly failing time romantic relationship anybody recently ive trying explore sexual identity  probably bisexual come us foreign country given current financial educational surroundings feel chance hopeful future studying studying abroad college us ive spent months preparing best application could failed got defered yesterday dream school turned partly due fault external error one documents entire life feel like make wrong choices courage keep making wrong choices future