couple years ago major mental health crisis reached absolute breaking point plan ctb way commit act may way thought grief shame would unfair family reached help instead faced hospitalization demoted job countless conversations reliving experience countless medications nothing ect treatments ketamine treatments talk therapy nothing helps feel worst since crisis still suicidal plans however  million questions game teaches share lot plans details share family thus making suffer really tried sake family exhausted even smallest amount redflag triggers me thinking would best execute plan feel like options left pointing direction hopeless lost