killing tonighthi ive depressed many years im thinking trying tonight long story short ive always lonely kid bullied kindergarten end highschool low self esteem now last week first time awesome time wonderful girl ran grass night layed side side hugged passed hand hair multiple times talked  hours everything basic life suicidal tendencies showed lot support saw fell love lot common leave thoughts tonight told become anything friend sorry giving wrong thoughts broken english know im drunk try point consider killing blow first time get close girl like mind you always ends like think ive enough studies going anywhere anyway people care seem vanish point girl much common rarely talk lot im shy managed  hours without breaking sweat day after extremely unlikely me cant take know story basic gets guess cant choose happy