wow days worried less  hours feel good calm long time still scared looking forward leaving  notes  house  body saying goodbye anyone particular bye truth cut everyone knew time coming want anyone feel hurt dead years worked alone possible thought parents abused mum would constantly tell dumb would burn hell dad angry person beat mum earliest memory hitting mum mum would put years later would go sleep without beating words every night got beating one reason another true brothers least believed school life bad dyslexic af used small weak kid got bullied constantly really badly point teachers joined well got low grades extra beatings got college stopped getting bullied  never frienda year half age  dad died mum got depressed quit college started work  jobs help support mum brothers year half mum died sad idk never liked instead dealing emotions dad told buried emotions deep inside used boil form angeri went got another  jobs average sleeping  hours per night working non stop support brothers expected got engaged age  arranged marriage uncles auntie set week marriage older brother told put ton debtalmost k marriage got called offi  account  point tried get back grind could older brother left could bring take court years everyone told older brother fing even younger brother crying saying fing listen cannot look eyes completed university know jobs wear suiti never gave time always expected me yeah know sounds like easy life feel burnt always getting kicked grow empathetic nobody showed life pathetic human nothing life die  nothing  hours go life