used escape dreamsi used able sleep suicidal thoughts nightmares dreams kill myself kill sleep like baby really feel like sign nightmares bloody scary fragments life pushed little farther edge best sleep get dreams hanging myself im hitting pretty low spot life always thought things would get better high school college came things got worse im real life mode hitting fan ive failed professionally romantically socially athletically academically cant take pain more feel like dreams really right idea work seasonal area virtually friends moving area weeks im going alone ever