tried commit redflagmy plan freeze river walked hour half spot one could see me took life jacket tied rope tree began walking freezing water it probably extremely close freezing temperature put hands water could feel blood rushing fingers rope ended knee deep wanted die point would kneel try keep upright couple minutes this realized stayed here would get frostbite took maintain effort immerse water would easier floating rely body keep submerged knew chance id wake tomorrow alive frostbitten began think everything live for said myself i cant die here panicked know could make it point rushed back shore could feel fingers tried put socks on dexterity it took minutes lots tripping falling mud eventually got it got gloves on able get blood circulation hands again walked home experience taught deep im really sure want die part wishes succeeded never really know