time goive wanting end life two years thought talking people would help thought thingd would get better dont nobody cares people worst right complain apparently go see therapist destroy family somehow maybe im selfish asshole all life important matter shit decent life people told care care much anything help me care much ignore need most maybe im expecting much maybe reason lied me still understand would that ended courage to them worst even courage im coward wish strength it need get fact alone forever meant be realized  years existence maybe knew could done something