tiredim disability anxiety disorder manic depression live next parents including abusive narcissist mom stove cook im tired microwave dinners thought fast food makes want vomit getting burnt cold sandwiches even stove mom took cooking stuff im limited spoon cup anyway would anything one hot meal meal processed food cold hot healthy meal least healthy thought ramen makes want vomit well im debating picking smoking again obvious cant afford eat necessary tools so quit  years ago th month car cant go out buy something dad brought burger bk want onion rings one fast food things make want hurl chunks another meal get skip want seem ungrateful threw fridge would nice stinging pain hunger live middle cant walk anywhere either im tired see fucking point living rate something new years always brings worst depression usually ok  even holidays really struggle new years bullshit mention period due day im sure im overly emotional well moment would sell soul fucking hot healthy meal week im  isolated friends drop something thats gross hang whatever get house im burnt shit eat regularly im burnt fuck living self injury gotten lot worse recently well legs complete war zone mild chicken scratches cut fuck up im sure ill another session tonight im kind teetering melt down pretty bad skin legs dulled box cutter use im gonna invest another one well anti septic stuff ran anti septic stuff apply legs im done tired even know begin get better change life