honestly dont know make another day mom passed lost everything herive battled mental health issues amp selfharmed since  mom one made effort understand try help me got sick dropped school take care cause dad said burden brother couldnt bothered despite older sibling things ive seen caregiver given ptsd still nightmares  years later passed planned whole funeral myself didnt get heal mom went income find serious full time job last gig getting back school but diagnosed bipolar last year became hard function work place leave job mon passed two friends basically nowhere found guess one wants friends sad girl relationship really supportive recently partner saying same draining around me hoped someone would ive got hard feel lonely tired defeated mom young death cruel best friend world one could always talk sucks im literally alone world without her go weeks without leaving apartment can dont speak anyone  one speak to family live  mins away one time me calls get ignored feel like im struggling obvious one cares help least extend hug feels like im already dead even bother everything pointless dont even enjoy taking walk park sun anymore im scared die know im living one one talk to one call sucks alone miss mom much cant move life without her im tired feeling way cant anymore