one talk toi know im writing this im pretty sure im going kill today ive tried kill before time think go chicken out im  years old im parttime cashier live mom shell horrified course think probably better rip bandaid get disappointed sad me know suck  know ive thought many years point im waiting die want wait anymore life hard nothing makes worth it friends put work maintain it anything look forward to matter happens future ill still me problem hate person hate whiny is lazy is much coward is ive tried little me cant matter progress ill always me toxic person know im writing this nothing matters nothing say write change reality reality is im nothing one mom care  shell devastated ive tried alive life cant anymore shell forgive me shell forgive me really really hope last day im alive know im writing this theres nothing talk about theres nothing say ive messed life want go back it