want continue anymore everything ever tried failed give brief story used passionate person got inspired magic since  got really good tried start yt work got audition opportunity perform penn teller fool us never responded crushed even though know magicians get on still stung though turned  got really inspired learn count cards got really good it got winning days eventually variance caught lost  one day everything ever passion crushing making less motivated less inspiredall talent wasted wrong person brag count cards hypnotised people pickpocketed cops solved rubiks cube blindfolded play saxophone talent definitely wasted wrong person never get one thing work me universe deliberately trying ensure never happy always fail thought counting cards could help save apartment even told girlfriend financially stable now going tell life falling apartmy point being want keep trying want live anymore want die scared anything it done getting motivated something work end putting worse spot want live anymore done life