know whats wrong meso heres background started feeling suicidal fifth grade huge amount stress school it kind combination academic social issues told parents multiple occasions wanted kill myself make mad so decided bottle feelings beginning sixth grade diagnosed aspergers basically parents believe actually it throughout middle school got stressed out crying every night anymore become numb still thought redflag before never really thought would actually never selfharmed luckily still havent im end freshman year high school year lot better middle school ive mostly alright is now seemingly blue ive hit wave depression feel like im drowning lately ive lot anxiety future im scared unknown keep wanting change im willing take action dad thinks hate even though really dont im tired staying night homework thoughts redflag getting lot worse point im actually trying figure kill myself ive almost made goal die graduate high school depending happens within next years day went trip san francisco literally thing could think started see golden gate bridge much wanted jump it know need help im scared happen tell anyone im feeling hate getting surprised negative reactions people want cause anyone else worry me know do