wanting drop third post shit titlei keep posting here feel like shouldnt know why things get better get worse repeat again everything chore labor hate anything yet nothing do everything fucking far away wish gun badly lonely cant begin describe it want connect people want able communicate sometimes feel like know how sometimes feel like alien driving around earlier crying thinking theres literally nothing me want help world want see get better really do far gone cant make satisfied living perpetual fuckups mirrored world around me want end want know people life decided move good reason knew going nowhere toward grave win everyone else know im alone feeling way sometimes fucking help honestly know im still alive now ill read good book see good movie great message think ill apply life never fucking do cant figure change honestly want to but cant stay same know except blow brains out sounds comforting right now