get wrong glad successful gotten help since last months much better whether personal notredflag work general mental state feel like currently spiraling completely put control  months away losing roommate place live cannot find place afford even judt place general housing miserable right now gotten chance speak therapist yet honestly tired thst even want try able lay bed drinking thinking much easier would here terrified uncertainty want homeless cannot go back family felt like good honestly happy first time years really want throw thst away trying process situation best ability trying decide need sell hobby stuff things enjoy try afford owni know posting know even looking here everything going sounds absolutely fucking stupid read back feel like burdensorry terrible formatting tired drunk phone tried kill months ago