time gothings arent going get better me girlfriend long distance spent month half state fly back due family telling financial issues thought staying good happy her plan work save move within next months dad says owe  plane ticket the one made buy borrowing money food etc unhappy colors seem dim right now im debating downing effexor figuring something else out im much pain havent felt true happiness stability since age  im  dont wanna live fucked world anymore cant get job anytime soon bc im also quarantine also rules hospitalization never helped anyway im done