feel violated confused alone dont know dohello f dont know talk to feel like raped personal opinion spoken mother consulted friends situation im receiving mixed reactions opinions everyone happened last month asked man barely knew sleep me eachother social media really know much man dumb ass decision know pursued anyway prior sex multiple previous conversations wearing protection stds birth control  im firm condoms always been also stated well claimed tested within last two months tested recently completely clear finally meet up told started wanted use condoms thought understanding using protection guess wrong first two times wears condom gets goes bathroom comes back bed im laying side looking phone even paying attention him next thing know turns back penetrates protection immediately froze scared know do afraid would hurt due fact knew want decided wanted anyway soon finished got there make doctors appointment weeks incident come back positive std incurable feel violated hurt confused know do know feel im normally vengeful person taking everything get pay back feel like give choice made me hate him im hard time coping this friends opinion  never first place fault happened you mom thinks otherwise mother says  penetrating someone way consent rape know do