suffered long managed keep hidden finally began opening people still depression nest place self care know problem itself come home weekend away already crying walked door mother told relax cup tea go bed come bedroom cleared throuhhh whole room without even telling acknowledge ment done it long term back problem regularly take counter medications doctors surgery believe anything wrong me would hidden handbag toom painkillers anti redflag medication in knocked bedroom door asked told without mentioning anything acting nothing happened complete meltdown tried getting online mental health help nothing open feel overwhelmed cannot look anywhere room without able breath think much longer cannot breathe