tiredim fifteen go school every day im happy person love making friends smile love making teachers smile people told happiness contagious always ask friends theyre throughout day one ever really me go therapy psychiatrist doctor knows history redflag drug abuse yet seems like people go mental health bigger worries theres always someone else worse understand that want scream cry shout them cant see much im suffering someone cant contain well can make risk me frequently self harm im addicted nicotine addicted worse past gone single day years without thinking killing myself ive attempted kill  odd times  far two times  parents understand mean edgy teenager way mean parents walked attempting redflag done nothing brush actions rug she wants attention shes typical teenager nobody understands seriously one understands ive tried talk people ive tried talk friends every time do look differently treat differently ive tried talk social worker understand outside im happy carefree im tired nobody sees bad is im finally dead know everyone going think could done more truth fucking could have im exhausted