maybe done nothingim sure smart constantly finding reasons kill reasons live im good anything anymore struggle explain feel im struggling with maybe nothing wrong cant afford get hour someone actually help figure every week dropped high school seemingly reason periods heavy fell asleep every class weird awkward friends one ever tapped asked wrong left started leaving lunch stayed home slept tried going back following year first week back ended admitted every medication made even sleepy seemingly wasnt anything wrong friendly truth time able talk someone telling shut up maybe obligation psych unit worked me feelings invalidated dont even feel like im treated like human hurt easily smallest things easier want end even inconvient others threaten anyways first time real im clueless genuinly clueless know nothing brain damn fog ever think beyond weeks im type person appears make progress falling forwards wanted text someone tell im struggling one dont want right now ive proven need supervised im alone waited let pass im still sleep deprived currently mean is know need to dont knowlege do solve bleeding problem im tired time seek medical help bipolar never manic episode ever would ride shit president america end day borderline align still get information is really help understand well best way describe feel currently hollowed im guess im incredibly uncomfortable mostly im lactose intolerant also self sabotaged myself tried  hours ago idk im minimizing everything job interview hour change life even getting self chance lot blind ive been hate obigation im suposed family helped single dollar expect give money ever find nothing need shower wake little brain right im sorry rational