find im faking itim terrified im feeling bit background gotten pretty dark place almost year ago wife im early s pleaded get help did went meds which first intensified suicidal thoughts dosage upped felt getting better also started therapist ive cognitive behavioral therapy seems helped fact could say total upswing  now feel like im spiraling control feelings work tolerable not my manager got laid month ago get along replacement supervisor team feel like theres future work im frightened going back rest world get new job suffer rejection work best least safe  much anymore feel days getting shorter daylight saving time ends sunday clocks fall back  meaning gets darker hour earlier causes anxiety look day see little ive accomplished sun sets know ill cope worst thing volunteer youth group while kids great theyve looked me ive adult talk parent judgmental gone tough times confided ive constant help them feel fake try help see big picture  everything okay hope lives ahead make good choices thrive believe me yet im feeling hope future me find im faking it know theres answer this needed let guess thanks reading