do suicidalhello everyone explain situation id thought would give guys info myself  years old turning  live sweden real friends ive never girlfriend iq  checked mensa love history biology video games high functioning autism something one knows except family members feel depressed early childhood ive hard time making friends ive never able keep any days spent completely alone front computer play games read ive also bullied severely age  age  capable making friends a trait gained teens however due new friends already groups friends age meet nearly impossible keep them latest group friends slowly disappearing past  years done things without traveling etc never call unless need help something ive desperate ive even bought apartment closer they said lived far away before  mins however thing now even though high intelligence i want brag im trying tell story extremely big knowledge subjects find interesting ive never cared much school education led insufficient grades highschool ive tried working many different places ive never able stay long due autism preventing things hate repetitively someone else situation live life without friends job wife kids want live want wait find out like this know sound like brat throws away opportunities unless going impossible understand exactly life miserable edit also posted depression subreddit id thought id add things right thing keeping ending parents want make live misery thinking fault because experience even write telling fault parental instincts tell theyre blame somehow sometimes im driving speed  kmsh hoping able react something happens crash feel empty inside emotions im stopping care things dear before