m married kids successful almost jumped  story building todayi dealt depression minimum  years diagnosed reality likely dealing entire life depression anxiety ptsd adult due multiple traumas life including molestation family member course several years young child teen years ive countless meds counseling hospital done heavy counseling month still continue find darkness despair life ive married twice second marriage failing struggle lack sex life zero sex drive also causes issues mental stability likely due sexual abuse gotten point really care anymore im religious man believe god jesus died sins also fear committing redflag ill go hell honestly thats thing stopping me kids wife parents friends today close jumping roof parking ram work  stories concrete im pretty sure header would job quickly painfree reason though it much pain suffer much honestly believe life believe get better im ruining family depression hurting kids cant check least let live without me cant find peace continue suffer day day day pain end