beating downim   years old th grade pending drug charges caught  mg adderall pills school september january landed ambulance ride hospital shroom  acodmt experiment two friends going cost parents tremendous amount money feel fucking awful putting bullshit disclosed past regular drug use parents weed adderall xanax tramadol oxycodone hydrocodone mushrooms lsd inbome coke dxm fucked up feel happy escape reality curious guess friends around curious well never partied everything alone small groups friends good environments cant help think ive permanently wrecked already flawed brain chemistry im gifted diagnosed adhd ocd gad age  ive completely abstained drug use fact even considered using anything makes feel though ive done everything completely choice feel completely overwhelmed guilt disgusted putting parents this amount adderall possessed caught implied intention distribute mention school grounds felony fuck rest life decide continue it im nearing edge though im surrounded loving family plenty close friends theres driving force telling none matters end already