feels like matter timehello reddit sorry unloading crap guys feel need let something out easier talk total strangers feels like lived third life away without results every since dad died  years ago inherited family business responsibilities became responsible business people mother siblings spectacular things seem fine dawned every one siblings seems way content lives seem effort trying improve involve deeper business around forever take care them one seems mind that asian culture pounded head father responsible everything failure failure gains gains im smart man technical genius invent things business savy make ground breaking deals make top line risky business decisions tough ive made several bad decisions costed me struggled hard every time recover learn mistakes failing recover cost several people jobs number times ive come close getting me married love life  years back things ok realize wrong was idiot married social class known life forgiving suffice say last blunder stretched resources thin overestimated capacity feel empty her know theres lot people worse am weight responsibilities many people financial position marriage feels like driving insane really feels like clock ticking me feel im close offing myself cant take this every day feels like another problem need tackle every night wished id never wake morning sorry grammar english first language im far sober