tried give christmas gifts know leaving mei tried give boyfriendfiance christmas gifts outbursts night wanted speak me asked wanted hug said no said last person wants speak point said i need know going on leaving me told sit discomfort uncertainty deal it telling leaving not know is tried give gifts bought christmas want them fucked head nothing makes change weeks bliss go fuck again im tired alive happy lately cant take joy crushed taken away every time bad things inevitably happen again really know im even posting this life worth living without him long time soul mates others best friend anyone says ill move full shit