strength takes fight suicidal urges beyond physical strength fighting everyday proud glad still here despite thoughts attempts plans urges right now safe keep safe big beautiful world mountains oceans animals every kind world wanted one too needed one too reason despite thoughts saysome hope my story tw attempts last year attempted suicide two times hid first attempt months sick enough fucking sick enough tried kill myself still bad enough standard please struggling suicidal thoughtstendencies reach out sick enough deserve help got getting second attempt landed hospital iv days psych ward since rehab another hospital psych ward tell gets better deep throws depression finally healing many mental illnesses healing too heal get dark time please stay safe proud you