backits months ago since seriously thought ending life ive depressed  years never bothered get solutions recently  months ago went therapy  months stop due logistical reasons found replacement therapist cancelled appointment last minute thought getting better  im going often im willing meet trust new people im starting like again im functioning like _normal_ viewed everything rosecolored glasses im getting better get progress gain friends ive built delusion belongingness family thought ive steered away demons head theyre still here never left made things worse hate myself _friends_ better without someone like life world infinitely better place without it voices back want stop