pretty much got fired todaywell title says it training server today since cant carry trays well fell front entire restaurant yet another thing cant do really know im here wanted die awhile cant find balls actually it gave yet another chance ended failing embarrassing always really know get past yet another failure done nothing let everyone down im burden husband pay constant therapy appointments medication money living credit cards cant even fend myself go back school next month idea im going get it cant even wait fucking tables pay rent done myself keep wondering guts fucking end already coping mechanism sleep taking sleeping pills sleep next full days tried taking knife wrist cant cut deep enough plus method usually work wish parents house right fathers shotgun know im here maybe want exclaim everyone im done know else do