leaving here need place ranti want fucking kill myself ive ever typed words written words even said aloud unless knew alone loving family friends boyfriend idea one friend best friend ubderstands depression job five pounds name feel like shit waste space going one day next fuck all times get drink makes things worse drunk horrid embarrassing hungover darkest cant push seek help cant see point so would easier swallow pills run knife across throat live mind anymore thing stopped cant family ive started stop caring im scared future holds  one