everything hurtsim fucking sick hurting time im scared afraid waking hours noone close dependant me would myself life fun anymore horrible thoughts often im empath cynic see much able understand half it ive contradiction years trying fight way modicum consistency makes burn im fire cant reach help life would destroyed little hope future seems far away ive squandered every opportunity ive life depression eating future ones too id rather die witness yesterday again im tired pain want stop aside trying hard drugs offing myself know else do