fake til make it last ditch effort failed want anymoretherapy meds exercise cbt moving new hobby new friends eating properly sleeping properly can finally pretending happy convince am failed ive tried all nothing actually fixes anything i problem cant sit thinking dog fucking street artist guy more cant fucking deal alone cant sit sidelines watching people live lives im fucking using oxygen everything fucking working for gone never happen let it im going waste fucking energy seeking know ill never have ive gone gotten situation someone depends rent money id fucking check right now thought put situation someone depended me would give push need get fuck this im starting feel really give shit anymore