cant stop crying want overi  depressed long remember getting worse last days find randomaly breaking crying alot redflag mind time isnt new thought years thinking more friends ever friends ever online grown real lives arnt computer anymore completely alone now used dog gave sense companionship gone cant get another one asexual virgin never date life never since interested men women live mother dont get along basically share interests ever ever talks tell something gets drunk yell me happens quite bit nothing far career prospects go education besides high school severe test anxiety tried take emr emergency medical responder studied well day day classes got mid term sorts froze flunked wasting  feel alone cant stop crying want pain end dont feel like ever change hear bs dont see how pain years death would relief feel deserve