people always say theyre arentjust dont say youre going leave read even look message least send crisis hotline number leave misery really helpful polite thing do implied going kill days ago two people checked see fine left immediately after kind sad think gone besides parents two people might possibly feel obligated care it sad kind wanted people care know even im dead wont care one really care besides maybe strangers internet telling it want cry doesnt work everyone says im funny like conversations boring without dont mean it value theyd respond even saying im sorry happened you nothing tried normal ive tried histrionic cries help even could get people pretend care life clearly value death impact group atoms earth second gone next ive got one person talks dont breakdown dont want ruin christmas negativity every single night find wanting cry ive tried putting trauma paranoia behind me fiends online talk surface level stuff dont complain messages arent dry that surface level entire life crisis dont need hotline although nice send anyway people think care need friend goes well end complaining lonely am could never really get close people thought hated me didnt want get close people didnt want death drama affect them im alone