im fucking sick painful cycleevery day seem try jump hoop day day without change want everything end decided go college state get away family keep giving three lines encouragement give crawl day turns out ones surprise cost tuition state large emotional burden ive wasted k make here midterms over odds getting gpa back reduced null adds emotional burden im trying get schools psychological services proving take weeks meds trick cant get ahold doctor ive trying  weeks im tired disconnected courses want end it cant even sit read book without wanting fucking slit throat books next victim want withdrawal school also take mental toll shame going back fucking family still thousands debt know want curl ball done