keep thinking back awful things ive doneonce concert someone wanted move forward move way became angry later started elbowing someones back reason all like  times turned around said sorry purpose felt soooooo embarassed awful thing ive done feel like maniac that hate packed together bunch people turned asshole that ex saw arguing took long time finally forget this contacted ex months ago blocked me made new account continue conversation engaged blocked again kept like  times end lost reminded fucking irrational like concert insulted shit me feel soooooooooo bad myself keep thinking back monster am really really really wish done things guilt completely swallowing up keep wanting kill ive done things cant live with