optimal artificial languages humour bit wee discussion sci lang well could resist temptation contribution topic jbm newsserver trl oz au jacques guy date 27 jan 1995 15 29 06 1100 newsgroups sci lang subject optimal artificial languages language communication necessarily truths mark words optimal artificial language designed messages survive unscathed worst static ergo want maximal phonetic differentiation tm vowels pick maximally distant u consonants ditto dental labial velar picked differentiated points articulation must also pick deifferentiated manners thereof fricative nasal stop nicely let us use voicing help along leaves us three maximally distant consonants z k far good better still let consonant associated one one vowel either consonant vowel manages get mangled transmission restitute one naturally would match vowels consonants ensure least articulatory effort lest speakers tired much tongue lip shifting start slurring words nt two ways goes z u k perfect language noisefree communication cv consonant clusters diphthongs syllable starts exactly one consonant one vowel consonant z vowel lazy one get list possibilities short indeed yet wrote ergo three possible syllables zi ka mu thereby 130 times easier chinese 400 possible syllables consider sample vocabulary leave meanings imagination zizi kaka mumu zizimu kakamu infants learn easily consider advantages children speak fluently two one first shortest words learn muzika thus ensuring earliest possible development musical aptitude promote zikamu tm international language tomorrow nb come attention renegade splinter group original zikamu tm movement peddling pale imitation zikamu tm plagiarized name kazimu deceived study practice inferior product may cause brain damage insist learning one zikamu tm join official approved zikamu foundation tm day il en des qui vont encore se demander si c est du lard ou du cochon c est du lard bonnes gens c est du lard