to the woman about the abuse and has discussed safety, then they have made a difference. They have not failed in their job nor has the woman failed to do what she should do. Stage 6: Ending the Violence Ending a relationship does not always lead to the end of the violence. Leaving can be a particularly dangerous time. It is when women are most likely to be killed by a partner/ex-partner. The woman has no control over whether the violence ends. That is entirely the perpetrator’s decision. Too much of a focus and too much pressure on a woman to leave, though often well intended, is misplaced. Gains and losses to leaving exercise this can be done in groups with feedback or a whole class – exercise dependent of time. It gives a further understanding into the preconceptions that people hold about victims who don’t leave, when they believe that they should. Divide the flipchart into two sides and put Gains to leaving on one side and Losses to leaving on the other. If you are doing it as a whole group ask what does a victim gain from leaving the relationship? Then follow with what do they gain? If you are doing this in groups. Split the groups into gains and losses and ask them to come up with the respective suggestions. Examples: Gains Losses Free from abuse Loss of home/finances and support Rebuild social networks Leave area where friends and family are Perform better at work Liam has to change schools Child will not witness abuse Change all social details Build back lost relationships Life Safer Immigration Right to stay – Special Needs Support Points to make Many of the losses are practical and material. Most of the gains are concepts and rarely happen straight away. A victim’s journey to safety is a dangerous one and it can take a long time before any of the gains are possible (8 months to a year. The losses are immediate The losses are certain the gains are not The most important gain free from abuse and therefore safer has to be balanced with the – fact that leaving is extremely dangerous and the time when most homicides occur. are threatened by their abusers with loss of their children. There is no certainty for their safety and usually one of the first things that abusers do when their partners have left them is apply for contact/residence. Children
to the woman about the abuse and has discussed safety, then they have made a difference. They have not failed in their job nor has the woman failed to do what she should do. Stage 6: Ending the Violence Ending a relationship does not always lead to the end of the violence. Leaving can be a particularly dangerous time. It is when women are most likely to be killed by a partner/ex-partner. The woman has no control over whether the violence ends. That is entirely the perpetrator’s decision. Too much of a focus and too much pressure on a woman to leave, though often well intended, is misplaced. Gains and losses to leaving exercise – this can be done in groups with feedback or a whole class exercise dependent of time. It gives a further understanding into the preconceptions that people hold about victims who don’t leave, when they believe that they should. Divide the flipchart into two sides and put Gains to leaving on one side and Losses to leaving on the other. If you are doing it as a whole group ask what does a victim gain from leaving the relationship? Then follow with what do they gain? If you are doing this in groups. Split the groups into gains and losses and ask them to come up with the respective suggestions. Examples: Gains Losses Free from abuse Loss of home/finances and support Rebuild social networks Leave area where friends and family are Perform better at work Liam has to change schools Child will not witness abuse Change all social details Build back lost relationships Life Safer Immigration – Right to stay Special Needs Support Points to make Many of the losses are practical and material. Most of the gains are concepts and rarely happen straight away. A victim’s journey to safety is a dangerous one and it can take a long time before any of the gains are possible (8 months to a year. The losses are immediate The losses are certain the gains are not The most important gain – free from abuse and therefore safer has to be balanced with the fact that leaving is extremely dangerous and the time when most homicides occur. are threatened by their abusers with loss of their children. There is no certainty for their safety and usually one of the first things that abusers do when their partners have left them is apply for contact/residence. Children
All-prompt-sheets-group-2.docx