For the informants, there exists the desire for recognition of identity. It speaks to the one’s privilege of defining oneself rather than relying on others to do it for you. Informants expressed a frustration that they were not being listened to or their concerns were not taken at face value. Exasperated by the lack of communication felt from the GIAT one informant forcefully demanded of their psychologist: do you see?!? And then she finally said, see and “What ‘I [informant’s name]’ you know, I really needed that, the most important thing. See me! This is that’s (I. 5) me, confirm me!” of gender was wanted as an acknowledgment of being seen as or in ‘Confirmation’ “normal” line with prevailing norms. This was poignant as informants remarked that norms are invisible so the idea of wanting to be seen as in individual was in tension with the desire of being invisible. Being invisible for them meant being a part of the unnoticed norms that exist for cisgender society and gives a sense of belonging and safety rather than being seen through the deception frame. Another example of this tension was expressed by comparing being transgender with being left-handed. That on an individual level the left-handedness must be acknowledged in that one is operating in a right-handed world but this variation was not cause for increased attention or focus. so I would need help or different tools to do my “I’m left handed job well…That wouldn’t mean that I’m ill at all but only that I have this functional variation, (I. 5) not so different from I’m anyone else”. 5.2 Constructing the Narrative The category of Constructing the Narrative reflects the stories that informants develop for interactions with their healthcare providers and how these stories are interpreted. The two sub categories of and illustrate the tensions between the Following the Script Defiant Silence specific scripts constructed by informants that are relayed to and often expected from the mental healthcare providers and the ways in which informants resist this pre-defined narrative by not talking about issues as a means to reclaim agency. Following the Script Informants often followed a stereotypical script in defining their transition and mental healthcare needs. This script has numerous influences but it resulted in an internalized and
For the informants, there exists the desire for recognition of one’s identity. It speaks to the privilege of defining oneself rather than relying on others to do it for you. Informants expressed a frustration that they were not being listened to or their concerns were not taken at face value. Exasperated by the lack of communication felt from the GIAT one informant forcefully demanded of their psychologist: “What do you see?!? And then she finally said, ‘I see [informant’s name]’ and you know, I really needed that, that’s the most important thing. See me! This is me, confirm me!” (I. 5) ‘Confirmation’ of gender was wanted as an acknowledgment of being seen as “normal” or in line with prevailing norms. This was poignant as informants remarked that norms are invisible so the idea of wanting to be seen as in individual was in tension with the desire of being invisible. Being invisible for them meant being a part of the unnoticed norms that exist for cisgender society and gives a sense of belonging and safety rather than being seen through the deception frame. Another example of this tension was expressed by comparing being transgender with being left-handed. That on an individual level the left-handedness must be acknowledged in that one is operating in a right-handed world but this variation was not cause for increased attention or focus. “I’m left handed so I would need help or different tools to do my job well…That wouldn’t mean that I’m ill at all but only that I have this functional variation, I’m not so different from anyone else”. (I. 5) 5.2 Constructing the Narrative The category of Constructing the Narrative reflects the stories that informants develop for interactions with their healthcare providers and how these stories are interpreted. The two sub categories of Following the Script and Defiant Silence illustrate the tensions between the specific scripts constructed by informants that are relayed to and often expected from the mental healthcare providers and the ways in which informants resist this pre-defined narrative by not talking about issues as a means to reclaim agency. Following the Script Informants often followed a stereotypical script in defining their transition and mental healthcare needs. This script has numerous influences but it resulted in an internalized and
8922068.docx