blame for bringing incredibly hurtful for me” dishonour to the family. Hopelessly seeking Natasha One becomes a whole “That’s parents approval different burden to bare, consumed by the all your life you’re hunger for authentic trying to impress them, validation from one’s trying to be that you’re family. one child that they love the most, even though part of ten you’re children, you always strive to be that better child, the one that they love the most, the one that they can rely on and suddenly, worse you’re than you know, garbage to them, you’re worse than the person who killed ten, twenty people because they don’t care that that person killed ten, twenty people they care that you are gay and not supposed you’re to be” Self-shaming to Natasha Self- shame became a first time I realised “The become that I was gay, I futile attempt of remember sitting and heterosexual pushing oneself to thinking, you be can’t transform into a gay and I actually heterosexual in order laughing at myself and I to fit in. was like you be can’t gay. I was so homophobic and um it was me shaming myself in a way to becoming straight and it didn’t work and that shamed me even more” Pride is based on Natasha One must strive for me there was this “With from family, not whole cultural thing as achievements in well, where brought up oneself honour of one’s to believe that for the, family not oneself. that we should work for the greater good. Over here in this country, you’re an individual, you have to strive to achieve your best and in India you’re striving to achieve your best because how your that’s family would be elevated” Confirmation of Natasha Family would “if I get married to a sexuality girl, my family would be completely disown the one’s not in contact with and individual if they were they even wouldn’t
incredibly hurtful for me” for bringing dishonour to the family. Hopelessly seeking parents approval Natasha “That’s a whole different burden to bare, all your life you’re trying to impress them, you’re trying to be that one child that they love the most, even though you’re part of ten children, you always strive to be that better child, the one that they love the most, the one that they can rely on and suddenly, you’re worse than you know, garbage to them, you’re worse than the person who killed ten, twenty people because they don’t care that that person killed ten, twenty people they care that you are gay and you’re not supposed to be” One becomes consumed by the hunger for authentic validation from one’s family. Self-shaming to become heterosexual Natasha “The first time I realised that I was gay, I remember sitting and thinking, you can’t be gay and I actually laughing at myself and I was like you can’t be gay. I was so homophobic and um it was me shaming myself in a way to becoming straight and it didn’t work and that shamed me even more” Self- shame became a futile attempt of pushing oneself to transform into a heterosexual in order to fit in. Pride is based on from family, not oneself Natasha “With me there was this whole cultural thing as well, where brought up to believe that for the, that we should work for the greater good. Over here in this country, you’re an individual, you have to strive to achieve your best and in India you’re striving to achieve your best because that’s how your family would be elevated” One must strive for achievements in honour of one’s family not oneself. Confirmation of one’s sexuality Natasha “if I get married to a girl, my family would be not in contact with and they wouldn’t even Family would completely disown the individual if they were blame
29768_Maria_Ines_Shalaby_ERP_Final_286495_1217381129.docx