women spoke about the fact that they associated being lesbian with childlessness when younger: came out at such an early age, it was a time when it wasn’t considered even an “I option that people were even aware that you could go and make a baby” (Debbie). And, for some, this association remained: intersects I think in the nature of the community” (Jane). “it The women reflected on the fact that even they conform to wider assumptions that equate lesbianism and childlessness. Debbie spoke of a female friend heterosexual and – married and the fact that she had always wondered why this friend (Judy) does not have – children: yet [my friend Laura] is a lesbian and is married to [Jenny] and has been with “and her twenty-five years, and they’ve no children, and it doesn’t even cross my mind to think why they’ve not got children… I’d not even thought about it I read the ‘til information sheet [for the study] and I thought yeah maybe it’s because they’re ‘oh lesbians,’ I didn’t even question it, whereas with [my heterosexual friend Judy] it does strike me as unusual.” For women, being childfree was among their lesbian friends, they were ‘normal’ in the majority of them don’t have children” (Joanne). This sometimes meant they do – “most not have much contact with children a source of feelings of loss for Joanne. For Louise, one – of the freedoms of childlessness was the opportunity to spend time with other lesbians (the women felt they would have spent more time with heterosexual women if they themselves had had children (see also Bartlett, 1994). Rosa Marvin felt that the same pressures and expectations that straight women experience in everyday life can also be experienced by queer women, especially if they do not look obviously queer or are not something about kind of being my age and ‘out’: “there’s you know you’ve got long hair so you’re probably straight’” (see also Gillespie, 2000; ‘well
women spoke about the fact that they associated being lesbian with childlessness when younger: “I came out at such an early age, it was a time when it wasn’t considered even an option that people were even aware that you could go and make a baby” (Debbie). And, for some, this association remained: “it intersects I think in the nature of the community” (Jane). The women reflected on the fact that even they conform to wider assumptions that equate lesbianism and childlessness. Debbie spoke of a female friend – heterosexual and married – and the fact that she had always wondered why this friend (Judy) does not have children: “and yet [my friend Laura] is a lesbian and is married to [Jenny] and has been with her twenty-five years, and they’ve no children, and it doesn’t even cross my mind to think why they’ve not got children… I’d not even thought about it ‘til I read the information sheet [for the study] and I thought ‘oh yeah maybe it’s because they’re lesbians,’ I didn’t even question it, whereas with [my heterosexual friend Judy] it does strike me as unusual.” For women, being childfree was ‘normal’ among their lesbian friends, they were in the majority – “most of them don’t have children” (Joanne). This sometimes meant they do not have much contact with children – a source of feelings of loss for Joanne. For Louise, one of the freedoms of childlessness was the opportunity to spend time with other lesbians (the women felt they would have spent more time with heterosexual women if they themselves had had children (see also Bartlett, 1994). Rosa Marvin felt that the same pressures and expectations that straight women experience in everyday life can also be experienced by queer women, especially if they do not look obviously queer or are not ‘out’: “there’s something about kind of being my age and you know ‘well you’ve got long hair so you’re probably straight’” (see also Gillespie, 2000;
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