to the advocate’s attempts to help her. There are many reasons why a victim would choose to remain in an abusive situation. Furthermore, when a victim chooses to stay with an abuser, she has not invited him to continue to abuse her. Rather, continued abuse is solely the fault of the abusive person. The following list, adapted from a publication of the Domestic Abuse Project (www.domesticabuseproject.org), is a composite of views collected from their women’s support groups over a period of several years. These women offered many answers to the question: "What keeps women in abusive relationships?” Victims can be motivated by fear of their partner’s actions: He will threaten to leave me. He said he would me down and kill me.” “hunt He will kidnap the children and disappear. He will spread horrible rumors about me. I will be safe, I might as well live with him. She will me at work or to my family (if victim is gay or lesbian). “out” Victims can suffer from the effects of abuse: Depression. Feelings of immobility. Can’t face making decisions. I am so used to my life being this way. I have no real options or choices. Victims can feel bound by roles the culture forces upon women: Guilt: I will ruin his life if I leave. She will lose her job if I report this. He will start drinking again. I will disappoint my family. I have to take care of him. Economic Dependence: He has all the money. I have never had a good job. How will I care for kids alone? Better to be beaten up at home that to be on the street. I would rather die than be on welfare. Dependence on Traditional Gender I am afraid to be on my own. Who will protect me? I fear that I will never be in a relationship again. He gives me a sense of security. I don’t want to be a divorced woman. Victims may fear for their children:
to the advocate’s attempts to help her. There are many reasons why a victim would choose to remain in an abusive situation. Furthermore, when a victim chooses to stay with an abuser, she has not invited him to continue to abuse her. Rather, continued abuse is solely the fault of the abusive person. The following list, adapted from a publication of the Domestic Abuse Project (www.domesticabuseproject.org), is a composite of views collected from their women’s support groups over a period of several years. These women offered many answers to the question: "What keeps women in abusive relationships?” Victims can be motivated by fear of their partner’s actions: He will threaten to leave me. He said he would “hunt me down and kill me.” He will kidnap the children and disappear. He will spread horrible rumors about me. I will be safe, I might as well live with him. She will “out” me at work or to my family (if victim is gay or lesbian). Victims can suffer from the effects of abuse: Depression. Feelings of immobility. Can’t face making decisions. I am so used to my life being this way. I have no real options or choices. Victims can feel bound by roles the culture forces upon women: Guilt: I will ruin his life if I leave. She will lose her job if I report this. He will start drinking again. I will disappoint my family. I have to take care of him. Economic Dependence: He has all the money. I have never had a good job. How will I care for kids alone? Better to be beaten up at home that to be on the street. I would rather die than be on welfare. Dependence on Traditional Gender I am afraid to be on my own. Who will protect me? I fear that I will never be in a relationship again. He gives me a sense of security. I don’t want to be a divorced woman. Victims may fear for their children:
BLAM.6-12-13.docx