C: 3 out of 5 - There is evidence of structure. The student begins with a paragraph on how the text breaks structural conventions. Then he writes on how the text adheres to conventions. However the purpose of the third paragraph is not very clear. The quality of the essay seems to deteriorate as one continues. The one quotation from a secondary source is not explained. Its relevance to racial profiling and this ad in specific is not clear. D: 3 out of 5 - The student makes a few errors. First of all, the tone is rather colloquial through its use of contractions ("don't" and "there's") and presumptuous phrases ("starting with what is obvious"). Secondly, several sentences should have been reviewed for their lack of clarity, such as the sentence, "With this advertisement being a poster, some of the characteristic things in advertising related to audio and video, like certain visual effects we get in television commercials or using a popular song to sell your product could not have been used." ****** Remember: Creating a mind map or spider diagram around the prescribed question will help you on Criterion B. You will notice that this sample essay does not answer the second half of this question, "and for what purpose?" The student would have focused more on purpose, if he had brainstormed more on the implications of the question.
C: 3 out of 5 - There is evidence of structure. The student begins with a paragraph on how the text breaks structural conventions. Then he writes on how the text adheres to conventions. However the purpose of the third paragraph is not very clear. The quality of the essay seems to deteriorate as one continues. The one quotation from a secondary source is not explained. Its relevance to racial profiling and this ad in specific is not clear. D: 3 out of 5 - The student makes a few errors. First of all, the tone is rather colloquial through its use of contractions ("don't" and "there's") and presumptuous phrases ("starting with what is obvious"). Secondly, several sentences should have been reviewed for their lack of clarity, such as the sentence, "With this advertisement being a poster, some of the characteristic things in advertising related to audio and video, like certain visual effects we get in television commercials or using a popular song to sell your product could not have been used." ****** Remember: Creating a mind map or spider diagram around the prescribed question will help you on Criterion B. You will notice that this sample essay does not answer the second half of this question, "and for what purpose?" The student would have focused more on purpose, if he had brainstormed more on the implications of the question.
wt2_-_question_5_-_aclu_advert.docx