Defects of behaviour Resentment Selfishness Dishonesty Fear leads leads to: leads to: leads to: to: to: leads to: Arguing With other Concealing Avoiding Dismissing people: the intimacy people Charm Being Distortion Avoiding Bitching Dominating Choosing different to Lying amends conversations chaos gain an Choosing Gossiping Complying identity short-term Bullying Ignoring people just to gain Boasting Repeating gain over Coldness Impatience approval mistakes long-term Complaining Inconsistency Controlling and pain Criticising Fixing expecting Compulsive in dealings Flattery different busyness with others Focusing on Fishing for results Duvet-diving Malice Inflexibility people who compliments Sticking Fire-fighting Indiscretion don't like Fitting in to your head in (only dealing Lack of you gain an the sand with the Physical discipline Giving identity urgent) violence Neglect people Inaction Provocation Not listening attention Isolating Punishing Saying 'no' too only when Retaliation they ignore (mental Sarcasm Stealing other you Scaring people's crises Giving to Showing off people and making get Not asking Shaming them your own for help people Taking people Not playing Verbal for granted Ingratiation enough Withdrawing Interfering Not resting Withholding Making Not setting yourself (excessive) boundaries demands Not Managing spending situations enough Not working enough Martyrdom Mothering Pulling rank Stealing Rearranging the deckchairs General on the Imbalance Titanic between Saying 'yes' different too often areas of life
Defects of behaviour Resentment leads to: Selfishness leads to: to: leads to: Dishonesty leads to: Fear leads to: Bitching Bullying Coldness Complaining Criticising Malice Physical violence Provocation Punishing Retaliation Sarcasm Scaring people Shaming people Verbal Arguing Dismissing people Dominating conversations Gossiping Ignoring people Impatience Inconsistency in dealings with others Inflexibility Indiscretion Lack of discipline Neglect Not listening Saying 'no' too Stealing other people's crises and making them your own Taking people for granted Withdrawing Withholding yourself With other people: Charm Choosing chaos Complying just to gain approval Controlling Fixing Flattery Focusing on people who don't like you Giving people attention only when they ignore you Giving to get Ingratiation Interfering Making (excessive) demands Managing situations Martyrdom Mothering Pulling rank Stealing General Imbalance between different areas of life Being different to gain an identity Boasting Fishing for compliments Fitting in to gain an identity Showing off Concealing the Distortion Lying Repeating mistakes and expecting different results Sticking your head in the sand Avoiding intimacy Avoiding amends Choosing short-term gain over long-term pain Compulsive busyness Duvet-diving Fire-fighting (only dealing with the urgent) Inaction Isolating (mental Not asking for help Not playing enough Not resting Not setting boundaries Not spending enough Not working enough Rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic Saying 'yes' too often
step-06-defects-and-more.docx