Step 1: Recognise a situation that is not reaching resolution Ask yourself the following questions about the situation. This will help you form a view on whether the situation is likely to be resolved in the short term. Time the situation continued for longer than anyone would have reasonably • Has expected? Are meetings becoming long-winded and not leading to clear conclusions? • Blaming and secrets Is the focus on than on the problem? • people’s wrongdoings rather Is information being withheld from any of the parties involved in the complaint? • Are sub-groups forming against others? • Is gossip increasing? • Intense or uncomfortable emotions Is the situation dominating your thoughts, time and energy? • Are feelings more intense or uncomfortable than you would normally expect • from any of the parties involved in the complaint? Are behaviours out-of-character? • Resistance and motivation Is there a marked lack of motivation on the part of particular stakeholders to • reach goals or try anything different? Does the complainant appear to persistently reject, ignore or oppose suggested • remedies over a long period of time? Does their advocate argue at length or dissuade them from accepting • suggestions? Contradictory information Do any of the parties involved in the complaint repeatedly suggest information or • give opinions which are contrary to the suggested goals? Same solution tried repeatedly Are the solutions asked for by the complainant repetitious? • Has the same kind of solution been tried more than once? • Step 2: Evaluate your part in the conflict If the situation is moving towards a stalemate, the following questions will help you honestly examine whether you are doing your utmost to resolve it. Are you using your power appropriately? For example, does the situation require • the person (by enforcing Departmental requirements) or ‘power over’ ‘power the person (by helping them have more of a say, and by listening to what with’ they say)? Have you tried building empathy with the complainant? For example, have you • tried seeing the situation from the of view? complainant’s point Have you communicated your perspective, needs and concerns clearly? For • example, are you talking in generalities or are you providing specific and objective information? Are you dictating solutions? Or are you exploring the using • person’s needs, rather than and together arriving at solutions? words such as ‘could’ ‘should’,
Step 1: Recognise a situation that is not reaching resolution Ask yourself the following questions about the situation. This will help you form a view on whether the situation is likely to be resolved in the short term. Time • Has the situation continued for longer than anyone would have reasonably expected? • Are meetings becoming long-winded and not leading to clear conclusions? Blaming and secrets • Is the focus on people’s wrongdoings rather than on the problem? • Is information being withheld from any of the parties involved in the complaint? • Are sub-groups forming against others? • Is gossip increasing? Intense or uncomfortable emotions • Is the situation dominating your thoughts, time and energy? • Are feelings more intense or uncomfortable than you would normally expect from any of the parties involved in the complaint? • Are behaviours out-of-character? Resistance and motivation • Is there a marked lack of motivation on the part of particular stakeholders to reach goals or try anything different? • Does the complainant appear to persistently reject, ignore or oppose suggested remedies over a long period of time? • Does their advocate argue at length or dissuade them from accepting suggestions? Contradictory information • Do any of the parties involved in the complaint repeatedly suggest information or give opinions which are contrary to the suggested goals? Same solution tried repeatedly • Are the solutions asked for by the complainant repetitious? • Has the same kind of solution been tried more than once? Step 2: Evaluate your part in the conflict If the situation is moving towards a stalemate, the following questions will help you honestly examine whether you are doing your utmost to resolve it. • Are you using your power appropriately? For example, does the situation require ‘power over’ the person (by enforcing Departmental requirements) or ‘power with’ the person (by helping them have more of a say, and by listening to what they say)? • Have you tried building empathy with the complainant? For example, have you tried seeing the situation from the complainant’s point of view? • Have you communicated your perspective, needs and concerns clearly? For example, are you talking in generalities or are you providing specific and objective information? • Are you dictating solutions? Or are you exploring the person’s needs, using words such as ‘could’ rather than ‘should’, and together arriving at solutions?
guide7stalemate.docx