Working on a forgiveness process with the father for hurts of the past will decrease emotional pain in your life that you may not even realize is the result of hurts from your youth. If you did not have a close relationship with your mother, please consider that your spouse’s love cannot resolve the resulting pain of loneliness/sadness, anxiety, insecurity and anger. Working on a forgiveness process with your mother will decrease slowly this emotional pain, which may emerge periodically in your marriage. This forgiveness process will need to continue over many years in most spouses to resolve the degree of buried resentment. The process does not occur quickly and requires habits of humility, fortitude and patience. father family of origin are the most common, the mother wounds are “wounds” more difficult to resolve because the secure attachment to the mother is more essential to a child’s ability to feel safe in life and, subsequently, to give and to receive love, trust and praise. Sibling and Peer Conflicts Some spouses bring into their marriages major weaknesses in confidence, trust and anger because of a lack of acceptance, love and affirmation in sibling or peer relationships, including previous loving relationships. Rejections by those of the same or opposite sex in youth or adolescence can result in significant emotional wounds that need to be healed in order to have a healthy vocation. Forgiveness of offenders and gratitude from gifts are essential in the resolution of such psychological conflicts. The Work Process Many spouses are genuinely surprised to discover buried parental conflicts of selfishness, control, anger or mistrust buried within themselves that they misdirect at the person they love the most. Gratitude for parental gifts is important in building confidence and hope. Again, forgiveness for the parental weaknesses is vital in breaking the negative legacies that cascade down generations in marriages and families.
Working on a forgiveness process with the father for hurts of the past will decrease emotional pain in your life that you may not even realize is the result of hurts from your youth. If you did not have a close relationship with your mother, please consider that your spouse’s love cannot resolve the resulting pain of loneliness/sadness, anxiety, insecurity and anger. Working on a forgiveness process with your mother will decrease slowly this emotional pain, which may emerge periodically in your marriage. This forgiveness process will need to continue over many years in most spouses to resolve the degree of buried resentment. The process does not occur quickly and requires habits of humility, fortitude and patience. father family of origin “wounds” are the most common, the mother wounds are more difficult to resolve because the secure attachment to the mother is more essential to a child’s ability to feel safe in life and, subsequently, to give and to receive love, trust and praise. Sibling and Peer Conflicts Some spouses bring into their marriages major weaknesses in confidence, trust and anger because of a lack of acceptance, love and affirmation in sibling or peer relationships, including previous loving relationships. Rejections by those of the same or opposite sex in youth or adolescence can result in significant emotional wounds that need to be healed in order to have a healthy vocation. Forgiveness of offenders and gratitude from gifts are essential in the resolution of such psychological conflicts. The Work Process Many spouses are genuinely surprised to discover buried parental conflicts of selfishness, control, anger or mistrust buried within themselves that they misdirect at the person they love the most. Gratitude for parental gifts is important in building confidence and hope. Again, forgiveness for the parental weaknesses is vital in breaking the negative legacies that cascade down generations in marriages and families.
ParentalLegaciesEvaluation.docx