Unfortunately, for many years most clergymen and When Bad Things Happen to Good People and All many other helping professionals were unable to Our Losses, All Our Griefs by Kenneth R. Mitchell see grief as a friend of health. Nor were they and Herbert Anderson. Both books attempt to impressed with its pervasiveness in all aspects of develop a theology for liberal Christians and Jews our lives. Howard Clinebell's Basic Types of based on the existential experience of loss. Pastoral Counseling, a standard textbook for its Pastoral psychology and theology have come a time (1966), considers the subject of grief under the long way in just sixteen years. heading, "Counseling in the Crisis of What Grief Is Bereavement", to which five pages are devoted. (4) If we are going to understand the Unitarian In 1969 Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published On Universalist approach to grief, we will have to know Death and Dying and a new era in the a little more about what grief is. A simple definition understanding of grief began. What is remarkable would be, "Grief is the normal but bewildering about this book is not its conclusions, which are cluster of ordinary human emotions arising in reformulations of Lindemann's findings, but its response to a significant loss, intensified and straightforward, compassionate look at the feelings complicated by the relationship to the person or the of dying people and those who surround them. The object lost. Guilt, shame, loneliness, anxiety, anger, response of many helping professionals to this terror, bewilderment, emptiness, profound sadness, work opened the flood gates of research and despair, helplessness—all are part of grief and all comment on all aspects of grief. are common to being human. Grief is the clustering Having been able to look honestly and of some or all of these emotions in response to unapologetically at the grieving which goes on in loss." (5) many phases of normal lives, theologians and What follows will be a brief description of some of clergy have begun to ask questions about the the emotions which are a part of grief. These nature of God in a world where much grieving emotions must be understood and addressed by happens. As a result, two remarkable books have clergy and others who seek to assist grieving been published fairly recently: Harold Kushner's individuals and so it will be helpful to keep them in
Unfortunately, for many years most clergymen and many other helping professionals were unable to see grief as a friend of health. Nor were they impressed with its pervasiveness in all aspects of our lives. Howard Clinebell's Basic Types of Pastoral Counseling, a standard textbook for its time (1966), considers the subject of grief under the heading, "Counseling in the Crisis of Bereavement", to which five pages are devoted. (4) In 1969 Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published On Death and Dying and a new era in the understanding of grief began. What is remarkable about this book is not its conclusions, which are reformulations of Lindemann's findings, but its straightforward, compassionate look at the feelings of dying people and those who surround them. The response of many helping professionals to this work opened the flood gates of research and comment on all aspects of grief. Having been able to look honestly and unapologetically at the grieving which goes on in many phases of normal lives, theologians and clergy have begun to ask questions about the nature of God in a world where much grieving happens. As a result, two remarkable books have been published fairly recently: Harold Kushner's When Bad Things Happen to Good People and All Our Losses, All Our Griefs by Kenneth R. Mitchell and Herbert Anderson. Both books attempt to develop a theology for liberal Christians and Jews based on the existential experience of loss. Pastoral psychology and theology have come a long way in just sixteen years. What Grief Is If we are going to understand the Unitarian Universalist approach to grief, we will have to know a little more about what grief is. A simple definition would be, "Grief is the normal but bewildering cluster of ordinary human emotions arising in response to a significant loss, intensified and complicated by the relationship to the person or the object lost. Guilt, shame, loneliness, anxiety, anger, terror, bewilderment, emptiness, profound sadness, despair, helplessness—all are part of grief and all are common to being human. Grief is the clustering of some or all of these emotions in response to loss." (5) What follows will be a brief description of some of the emotions which are a part of grief. These emotions must be understood and addressed by clergy and others who seek to assist grieving individuals and so it will be helpful to keep them in
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