Why should we look at grief? Why should we look through the valley of the shadow. Are we a at anything else before we can come to understand sunshine religion only, or a religion for all of the grief? Grieving is not, as is commonly believed, the seasons of human life? By examining the past and weak side of human nature. It is the process by the present in a useful context these lectures will which we strengthen ourselves for the task of living attempt to pose an answer to that question. courageously in a universe in which there is very The Study of Loss little security even as there is a great deal of In 1942, on a Saturday evening, the Coconut Grove happiness and love. Since grieve we inevitably will, night club burst into flames, probably as a result of if we grieve well we will live well. Grieving is a way a match which was struck accidentally too close to of taking one's view of the world—a view which has the lavish decorations. The night club was filled been shattered by a loss that is deeply felt—and with who were celebrating the young…[people] putting that picture back together in a way that climax of a Fall weekend and with sailors on leave more adequately forms a picture of one's present from the nation's military rearmament. Within a few personal universe. minutes well over a hundred people died because These lectures will seek to look at grief in the they were trapped in what rapidly became an Unitarian Universalist context. My view is that we inferno. The Coconut Grove fire was a significant must have an articulate perspective on grief before landmark in American history for many reasons, but we can speak sensibly to any other serious one of these is the subsequent grief work done by personal issue. If we cannot help one another to Dr. Erich Lindemann, then Chief of Psychiatry at reorder the universe of meanings that has been Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor at effectively shattered by a serious loss, then we Harvard. cannot have credibility on any other issue… Following up on over one hundred relatives of the [People] may join liberal religious churches for a victims, Lindemann discovered that they all variety of reasons, but finally they will judge us, and exhibited fairly similar symptoms. These he called many may already have judged us, upon our the "symptomatology of normal grief." His wording willingness and ability to be with them as they travel was significant, for prior to this time many
Why should we look at grief? Why should we look at anything else before we can come to understand grief? Grieving is not, as is commonly believed, the weak side of human nature. It is the process by which we strengthen ourselves for the task of living courageously in a universe in which there is very little security even as there is a great deal of happiness and love. Since grieve we inevitably will, if we grieve well we will live well. Grieving is a way of taking one's view of the world—a view which has been shattered by a loss that is deeply felt—and putting that picture back together in a way that more adequately forms a picture of one's present personal universe. These lectures will seek to look at grief in the Unitarian Universalist context. My view is that we must have an articulate perspective on grief before we can speak sensibly to any other serious personal issue. If we cannot help one another to reorder the universe of meanings that has been effectively shattered by a serious loss, then we cannot have credibility on any other issue… [People] may join liberal religious churches for a variety of reasons, but finally they will judge us, and many may already have judged us, upon our willingness and ability to be with them as they travel through the valley of the shadow. Are we a sunshine religion only, or a religion for all of the seasons of human life? By examining the past and the present in a useful context these lectures will attempt to pose an answer to that question. The Study of Loss In 1942, on a Saturday evening, the Coconut Grove night club burst into flames, probably as a result of a match which was struck accidentally too close to the lavish decorations. The night club was filled with young…[people] who were celebrating the climax of a Fall weekend and with sailors on leave from the nation's military rearmament. Within a few minutes well over a hundred people died because they were trapped in what rapidly became an inferno. The Coconut Grove fire was a significant landmark in American history for many reasons, but one of these is the subsequent grief work done by Dr. Erich Lindemann, then Chief of Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor at Harvard. Following up on over one hundred relatives of the victims, Lindemann discovered that they all exhibited fairly similar symptoms. These he called the "symptomatology of normal grief." His wording was significant, for prior to this time many
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