Peer Revision Reader _Napoleon Walker___________________ Writer _Isa Wadley_______________ Audience _Car Buyers, salesman, manufacturers________________________ Lead/Intro. In any paper, it is the writer’s job to grab the attention of the reader. Indicate the way the student has attempted to catch the reader’s interest. Circle one and comment on its effect. Anecdote Profile Quotation Background Contrast Question Announcement Dialogue Comments (at least 3 sentences): The questions raised in your introduction are great. I was immediately intrigued by the what if questions. The focus on customer satisfaction is what grabbed my attention. Thesis The student should have a clear statement thesis statement. Write it below. Include the complete thesis. Comments (at least 3 sentences): Unfortunately, I am not 100% sure what your thesis is. However, I believe your thesis statement is: Many car buyers are not giving much satisfaction about car malfunctions because the salesperson and makers are focused on commission. I say this is your statement because it requires proof. A good thesis statement is not just a statement it requires proof. In my opinion your first sentence gives direction to the paper. Audience Awareness An argument should demonstrate awareness of the audience by making mention of shared and opposing values or viewpoints. By so, the writer finds common ground with the reader. Give an example of the author demonstrating audience awareness. Comments (at least 3 sentences): The mention of your friend’s car accident and the defect of the air bags demonstrated awareness. That viewpoint alone bridged the issue of car malfunctions and customer’s safety and
Peer Revision Reader _Napoleon Walker___________________ Writer _Isa Wadley_______________ Audience _Car Buyers, salesman, manufacturers________________________ Lead/Intro. In any paper, it is the writer’s job to grab the attention of the reader. Indicate the way the student has attempted to catch the reader’s interest. Circle one and comment on its effect. Anecdote Profile Quotation Background Contrast Question Announcement Dialogue Comments (at least 3 sentences): The questions raised in your introduction are great. I was immediately intrigued by the what if questions. The focus on customer satisfaction is what grabbed my attention. Thesis The student should have a clear statement thesis statement. Write it below. Include the complete thesis. Comments (at least 3 sentences): Unfortunately, I am not 100% sure what your thesis is. However, I believe your thesis statement is: Many car buyers are not giving much satisfaction about car malfunctions because the salesperson and makers are focused on commission. I say this is your statement because it requires proof. A good thesis statement is not just a statement it requires proof. In my opinion your first sentence gives direction to the paper. Audience Awareness An argument should demonstrate awareness of the audience by making mention of shared and opposing values or viewpoints. By so, the writer finds common ground with the reader. Give an example of the author demonstrating audience awareness. Comments (at least 3 sentences): The mention of your friend’s car accident and the defect of the air bags demonstrated awareness. That viewpoint alone bridged the issue of car malfunctions and customer’s safety and
nwalker27_E-Portfolio.docx