suddenly having unexplained sources of money not allowed to have friends (particularly in adolescence) acting in a sexually explicit way towards adults Neglect constant hunger, sometimes stealing complaining of being tired all the time food from other children not requesting medical assistance constantly dirty or ‘smelly’ and/or failing to attend appointments loss of weight, or being constantly having few friends underweight mentioning being left alone or inappropriate clothing for the unsupervised conditions Appendix 4: Dos and Don’ts of Managing a Disclosure Do’s and Don’ts of Managing a Disclosure Do’s Don’ts Stay calm and control expressions of panic Avoid using leading questions and shock Do not pressure the child/young person State clearly that the abuse was not the into telling you more than they want to. child/young person’s fault – no matter Avoid going over the information time and what the circumstances time again; you are only gathering Always accept what the child says, no information matter how fanciful it may appear to you Do NOT try to determine for yourself if the let them know you believe them allegation is valid or invalid Allow the child/young person to talk at Do NOT use shocked or disbelieving body their own pace, and use their own language language while the child is talking. The child Listen attentively and only ask open-ended may interpret this to mean that you find questions the CHILD unacceptable versus the ACT perpetrated on the child Encourage the child/young person to talk about their concerns, as this can be helpful Do NOT gossip about the allegations to in dealing with difficult experiences friends, relatives, or advocates Tell the child/young person you are pleased Do NOT ever try to talk a child out of what they told you he/she is saying. If you are sceptical, do NOT express your doubts to the child. This At some point in the disclosure ensure that is a task for investigators to sort through, you inform the child or young person that and you can express your doubts to them you cannot offer absolute confidentiality or protection Do NOT stand over the child while he/she is talking about the abuse. This may make the child feel crowded or dominated
suddenly having unexplained sources of money not allowed to have friends (particularly in adolescence) acting in a sexually explicit way towards adults Neglect constant hunger, sometimes stealing food from other children constantly dirty or ‘smelly’ loss of weight, or being constantly underweight inappropriate clothing for the conditions complaining of being tired all the time not requesting medical assistance and/or failing to attend appointments having few friends mentioning being left alone or unsupervised Appendix 4: Dos and Don’ts of Managing a Disclosure Do’s and Don’ts of Managing a Disclosure Do’s Don’ts Stay calm and control expressions of panic and shock State clearly that the abuse was not the child/young person’s fault – no matter what the circumstances Always accept what the child says, no matter how fanciful it may appear to you let them know you believe them Allow the child/young person to talk at their own pace, and use their own language Listen attentively and only ask open-ended questions Encourage the child/young person to talk about their concerns, as this can be helpful in dealing with difficult experiences Tell the child/young person you are pleased they told you At some point in the disclosure ensure that you inform the child or young person that you cannot offer absolute confidentiality or protection Avoid using leading questions Do not pressure the child/young person into telling you more than they want to. Avoid going over the information time and time again; you are only gathering information Do NOT try to determine for yourself if the allegation is valid or invalid Do NOT use shocked or disbelieving body language while the child is talking. The child may interpret this to mean that you find the CHILD unacceptable versus the ACT perpetrated on the child Do NOT gossip about the allegations to friends, relatives, or advocates Do NOT ever try to talk a child out of what he/she is saying. If you are sceptical, do NOT express your doubts to the child. This is a task for investigators to sort through, and you can express your doubts to them Do NOT stand over the child while he/she is talking about the abuse. This may make the child feel crowded or dominated