Subject changing: Answer briefly and immediately talk about the • issue/your concern. Avoids the issues by bringing up • for letting me know about that. What to “Thanks I’d like unrelated topics discuss now is …” with “What’s happening …?” can talk about that later. The focus of this “We discussion is …” Possible reactions Options for responding Blame shifting: Explore their point if appropriate and focus on how this can be avoided in future. Blames someone/something • Acknowledge their concern and then focus on what else. they can do differently. not “It’s my fault” Just focus on what you expect for the future rather had done their “If X job” than what has happened in the past. can we do about this next time so that it “What doesn’t have a negative impact?” is in your control that you can do differently next “What time?” for filling me in about that. What needs to “Thanks happen in future is …” Score keeping: Explore their point if appropriate and then focus on what you would like them to do differently. States that it has been • Explain why it acceptable in this situation, that isn’t acceptable in the past or for may have been okay previously. others to do this. that has changed we need to “Now … …” never been an issue “It’s an issue for me to be aware of. What I expect before” “That’s of you in your role …” do this and do not “Others get into trouble” Negotiating: State why it is an issue and what you would like to see • happen. Bargains for an alternative • may not see it as important, but important to “You it’s course of action. me because …” think a “I don’t it’s big issue” for being prepared to resolve like to “Thanks this. I’d it with it “Leave me, I’ll sort talk about the solutions with you and how we can put out” them in place.”
Subject changing: • Avoids the issues by bringing up unrelated topics “What’s happening with …?” • Answer briefly and immediately talk about the issue/your concern. “Thanks for letting me know about that. What I’d like to discuss now is …” “We can talk about that later. The focus of this discussion is …” Possible reactions Options for responding Blame shifting: • Blames someone/something else. “It’s not my fault” “If X had done their job” Explore their point if appropriate and focus on how this can be avoided in future. Acknowledge their concern and then focus on what they can do differently. Just focus on what you expect for the future rather than what has happened in the past. “What can we do about this next time so that it doesn’t have a negative impact?” “What is in your control that you can do differently next time?” “Thanks for filling me in about that. What needs to happen in future is …” Score keeping: • States that it has been acceptable in the past or for others to do this. “It’s never been an issue before” “Others do this and do not get into trouble” Explore their point if appropriate and then focus on what you would like them to do differently. Explain why it isn’t acceptable in this situation, that may have been okay previously. “Now that … has changed we need to …” “That’s an issue for me to be aware of. What I expect of you in your role …” Negotiating: • Bargains for an alternative course of action. “I don’t think it’s a big issue” “Leave it with me, I’ll sort it out” • State why it is an issue and what you would like to see happen. “You may not see it as important, but it’s important to me because …” “Thanks for being prepared to resolve this. I’d like to talk about the solutions with you and how we can put them in place.”