Apologising: Acknowledge the apology and willingness to address • the issue and state that you want to talk about what Apologises before the issue can be • happens next. fully discussed. for taking personal responsibility for this. “Thanks Let’s it happen “I’m very sorry won’t talk about what can be done differently next time.” again” pleased you think it is an important issue. “I’m Let’s “No worries I’ll fix it” work through it now.” Possible reactions Options for responding Denying: Ask for their perception of what happened/the issue. Outline your perception using specific examples. Disputes what you are saying. • Be open to changing your mind if appropriate. not what “That’s happened” If not sure how to respond, say you need time to think not “That’s right” about what they have said or seek clarification and “You’re wrong” reschedule the rest of the discussion. do you think “What happened?” is that “My perception/view …” need some time to think about that. talk again “I Let’s tomorrow.” Stonewalling: State clearly and firmly that the issue is important and • you expect them to listen to you. Refuses to engage. • is a really important issue “This because…” “Whatever” there a reason why you “Is don’t care?” “I don’t really care” think it is important that we talk about this “I now.” expect you to take this seriously.” “I
Apologising: • Apologises before the issue can be fully discussed. “I’m very sorry it won’t happen again” “No worries I’ll fix it” • Acknowledge the apology and willingness to address the issue and state that you want to talk about what happens next. “Thanks for taking personal responsibility for this. Let’s talk about what can be done differently next time.” “I’m pleased you think it is an important issue. Let’s work through it now.” Possible reactions Options for responding Denying: • Disputes what you are saying. “That’s not what happened” “That’s not right” “You’re wrong” Ask for their perception of what happened/the issue. Outline your perception using specific examples. Be open to changing your mind if appropriate. If not sure how to respond, say you need time to think about what they have said or seek clarification and reschedule the rest of the discussion. “What do you think happened?” “My perception/view is that …” “I need some time to think about that. Let’s talk again tomorrow.” Stonewalling: • Refuses to engage. “Whatever” “I don’t really care” • State clearly and firmly that the issue is important and you expect them to listen to you. “This is a really important issue because…” “Is there a reason why you don’t care?” “I think it is important that we talk about this now.” “I expect you to take this seriously.”