Alternative for Solving Conflicts Use the problem in terms of how it makes you feel; do “I” not place blame on the other person. Example of an message: am “I” “I really hurt when you talk behind my back.” Example of a message that “you” places blame: are so stupid when you talk behind my back.” “You Listen closely—Let the other person know you are willing to listen to his or her side. Example: listening,” or ahead; I’ll listen.” “I’m “Go Get help—Use others to help solve a problem. A third person can often bring a new perspective or solutions to a conflict. Make a deal—Compromise. Being willing to give in to certain conditions if the other person is also willing can usually be done by making a suggestion. Apologize—Let the other person know you are sorry the conflicts happened, whether you feel you are right or wrong. If you really feel as though you are wrong, you can gain respect from others by apologizing. Example: don’t seem able to solve this, but I am sorry you feel badly “We about it. I do too.” Cool it—Dropping it is good for cooling off or avoiding no-win situations.
Alternative for Solving Conflicts Use “I” the problem in terms of how it makes you feel; do not place blame on the other person. Example of an “I” message: “I am really hurt when you talk behind my back.” Example of a “you” message that places blame: “You are so stupid when you talk behind my back.” Listen closely—Let the other person know you are willing to listen to his or her side. Example: “I’m listening,” or “Go ahead; I’ll listen.” Get help—Use others to help solve a problem. A third person can often bring a new perspective or solutions to a conflict. Make a deal—Compromise. Being willing to give in to certain conditions if the other person is also willing can usually be done by making a suggestion. Apologize—Let the other person know you are sorry the conflicts happened, whether you feel you are right or wrong. If you really feel as though you are wrong, you can gain respect from others by apologizing. Example: “We don’t seem able to solve this, but I am sorry you feel badly about it. I do too.” Cool it—Dropping it is good for cooling off or avoiding no-win situations.