Ways of Dealing with Conflict Avoidance Accommodation Description: Description: Does not move into situations of potential conflict Opposite of competing Withdraws from situations of actual conflict Places high value on relationship; lower value on task May value both relationship and task “gives in”/ denies own preferences and or sense of what is best or right in deference to others Driving attitude: “Nothing good is accomplished by conflict.” Driving attitude: “Peace at any price.” Strengths: Use when issue is trivial/not important Strengths: Use when time is needed to think and pray Use when issue is not important to you, but important to Use when time is needed for people to cool down others Use when danger is imminent Use to build up “love points” or trust Use when relationships are too fragile for conflict Use when you are wrong Use when others need to learn through experiencing the Weaknesses: consequences of their position/way Issue(s) may not disappear Often results in pent-up tension/frustration Weaknesses: Important things (growth in relationships, completion of Important things related to task may be sacrificed tasks, etc.) may be sacrificed Others may take advantage of you, knowing that you will “give in” Competition Compromise Description: Description: Opposite of accommodation Values both relationship and task Places high value on task (winning, moving ahead, etc.), Works for an expedient, mutually acceptable solution lower value on relationships through giving some and getting some Pursues/fights for own preferences and/or sense of what is best or right regardless of others Driving attitude: “Get it settled—quickly.” Driving attitude: “Win at any cost.” Strengths: Use when expedient solution is needed because of time Strengths: limitation Use when issues is a biblical absolute Use when temporary solution is needed for a complex issue Use when a quick decision is needed (e.g. emergency) Use when at an impasse in a situation where issue is not very important to either party Weaknesses: Important things related to relationships may be sacrificed. Weaknesses: Others may not be honest with you knowing that you will Can short-cut a needed process of working through an issue “fight” to win Parties may give up something important that they may regret later Parties may feel suspicious regarding how much the other is really giving up Can leave both parties ultimately unsatisfied because of what is given up
Ways of Dealing with Conflict Avoidance Description: Does not move into situations of potential conflict Withdraws from situations of actual conflict May value both relationship and task Driving attitude: “Nothing good is accomplished by conflict.” Strengths: Use when issue is trivial/not important Use when time is needed to think and pray Use when time is needed for people to cool down Use when danger is imminent Use when relationships are too fragile for conflict Weaknesses: Issue(s) may not disappear Often results in pent-up tension/frustration Important things (growth in relationships, completion of tasks, etc.) may be sacrificed Accommodation Description: Opposite of competing Places high value on relationship; lower value on task “gives in”/ denies own preferences and or sense of what is best or right in deference to others Driving attitude: “Peace at any price.” Strengths: Use when issue is not important to you, but important to others Use to build up “love points” or trust Use when you are wrong Use when others need to learn through experiencing the consequences of their position/way Weaknesses: Important things related to task may be sacrificed Others may take advantage of you, knowing that you will “give in” Competition Description: Opposite of accommodation Places high value on task (winning, moving ahead, etc.), lower value on relationships Pursues/fights for own preferences and/or sense of what is best or right regardless of others Driving attitude: “Win at any cost.” Strengths: Use when issues is a biblical absolute Use when a quick decision is needed (e.g. emergency) Weaknesses: Important things related to relationships may be sacrificed. Others may not be honest with you knowing that you will “fight” to win Compromise Description: Values both relationship and task Works for an expedient, mutually acceptable solution through giving some and getting some Driving attitude: “Get it settled—quickly.” Strengths: Use when expedient solution is needed because of time limitation Use when temporary solution is needed for a complex issue Use when at an impasse in a situation where issue is not very important to either party Weaknesses: Can short-cut a needed process of working through an issue Parties may give up something important that they may regret later Parties may feel suspicious regarding how much the other is really giving up Can leave both parties ultimately unsatisfied because of what is given up