dr. pill. You see, it spoils the game if we allow the rules to leak out. cannibal king. But surely you must have rules? some dr. pill. Certainly. We make up the rules as we go along. cannibal king. a good idea. That’s dr. pill. Then we know always fresh. The first event will be throwing the they’re hammer. I will introduce the contestants. France— (calls) (A Frenchman made up as Alphonse of and comes “Alphonse Gaston” forward.) Monsieur Alphonse Camembert! Germany! (A German comes forward.) Name, please?—Heine Pumpernickel. (Little Nemo comes forward in athletic costume made of stars and stripes.) Name, please? nemo. Michael O’Finnegan! dr. pill. America—get your hammers, please. (The Frenchman produces a tack hammer, the German a meat axe. Someone hands Nemo an enormous wooden hammer painted black and marked “500 lbs.”) As usual—the Americans are trying to cheat us. However, (shaking his head) British pluck will win. At the word, you will all throw at once. Take your places, please. (Nemo, Frenchman, and German in line, facing L.) Go! (Frenchman throws tack hammer at the Cannibal King, who yells. The German turns and throws his axe off R. Nemo, with a great effort, throws his hammer, which, being on wires, flies off L. into wings.) all. Foul! / Unfair! / Kill the umpire! / /etc. (ad lib) etc. dr. pill. The prize goes to Germany.
dr. pill. You see, it spoils the game if we allow the rules to leak out. cannibal king. But surely you must have some rules? dr. pill. Certainly. We make up the rules as we go along. cannibal king. That’s a good idea. dr. pill. Then we know they’re always fresh. The first event will be throwing the hammer. I will introduce the contestants. (calls) France— (A Frenchman made up as Alphonse of “Alphonse and Gaston” comes forward.) Monsieur Alphonse Camembert! Germany! (A German comes forward.) Name, please?—Heine Pumpernickel. (Little Nemo comes forward in athletic costume made of stars and stripes.) Name, please? nemo. Michael O’Finnegan! dr. pill. America—get your hammers, please. (The Frenchman produces a tack hammer, the German a meat axe. Someone hands Nemo an enormous wooden hammer painted black and marked “500 lbs.”) (shaking his head) As usual—the Americans are trying to cheat us. However, British pluck will win. At the word, you will all throw at once. Take your places, please. (Nemo, Frenchman, and German in line, facing L.) Go! (Frenchman throws tack hammer at the Cannibal King, who yells. The German turns and throws his axe off R. Nemo, with a great effort, throws his hammer, which, being on wires, flies off L. into wings.) all. (ad lib) Foul! / Unfair! / Kill the umpire! / etc. /etc. dr. pill. The prize goes to Germany.