`Bark, boy, bark!' said the teacher. `Ok, sir,' said Brian. `Woof! Woof!' 8. Why is history like a fruit cake? Because it is full of dates. 9. are you late this Teacher: ‘Why morning?’ I was dreaming about a Manchester United Robin: ‘Please, Miss, match.’ did that make you Teacher: ‘But why late?’ had extra Robin: ‘They time.’ 10. tell me what kind of creature a slug Biology teacher: ‘Can anyone is?’ it was a snail with a housing Smart Alec: ‘I’d say problem.’ 11. going to study Kipling. Do you English teacher: ‘This term we’re like Kipling, Brenda?’ know, never Brenda: ‘I don’t Miss. I’ve kippled.’ 12. you had £7.47p in one pocket, and £4.26p in the Maths teacher: ‘If other pocket, what would you have?’ Smart Alec: ‘Someone else’s trousers on!’ 13. I had seven oranges in this hand, and nine Maths teacher: ‘If oranges in this hand, what would I have?’ hands, Henry: ‘Big Sir’ 14. Smart class was doing a project about milk. Every one Alec’s wrote several pages about how milk came from cows, and was taken to dairies in tankers, and bottled, then delivered to our doorstep by the milkman. But smart was only three lines long. He Alec’s project explained that written about condensed milk. he’d 15. put some more water in the Teacher: ‘Martin, fish tank please.’ they the water I gave them yesterday, Martin: ‘But haven’t drunk Sir.’
`Bark, boy, bark!' said the teacher. `Ok, sir,' said Brian. `Woof! Woof!' 8. Why is history like a fruit cake? Because it is full of dates. 9. Teacher: ‘Why are you late this morning?’ Robin: ‘Please, Miss, I was dreaming about a Manchester United match.’ Teacher: ‘But why did that make you late?’ Robin: ‘They had extra time.’ 10. Biology teacher: ‘Can anyone tell me what kind of creature a slug is?’ Smart Alec: ‘I’d say it was a snail with a housing problem.’ 11. English teacher: ‘This term we’re going to study Kipling. Do you like Kipling, Brenda?’ Brenda: ‘I don’t know, Miss. I’ve never kippled.’ 12. Maths teacher: ‘If you had £7.47p in one pocket, and £4.26p in the other pocket, what would you have?’ Smart Alec: ‘Someone else’s trousers on!’ 13. Maths teacher: ‘If I had seven oranges in this hand, and nine oranges in this hand, what would I have?’ Henry: ‘Big hands, Sir’ 14. Smart Alec’s class was doing a project about milk. Every one wrote several pages about how milk came from cows, and was taken to dairies in tankers, and bottled, then delivered to our doorstep by the milkman. But smart Alec’s project was only three lines long. He explained that he’d written about condensed milk. 15. Teacher: ‘Martin, put some more water in the fish tank please.’ Martin: ‘But they haven’t drunk the water I gave them yesterday, Sir.’