6350 John 71.04 Unclear wording: "... Change "as" to Revise generally – Coffey 0 contains 0s as the "because". agree with TWT ..." looks at first comment but sight as if the TWT language is whatever contains 0s. changed In context it seems significantly - TGax that the "as" means editor shall make "because" here. The the changes shown stray clause tacked on in 11-17/0777r0 at the end by a comma that are marked doesn't help. with CID 6350. 6351 John 71.04 The sentence in the Change the comma Revise generally – Coffey column has to a semicolon. agree with independent clasues comment - TGax linked by a comma editor shall make without a coordinating the changes shown conjunction. This is in 11-17/0777r0 ungrammatical usage that are marked and it hurts clarity. with CID 6351. 6352 73.09 Garbled text: Change "is" to "in". Revise generally John – Coffey "Feedback can be with comment - contained is the QoS TGax editor shall Control make the changes shown in that are marked with CID 6352. 6353 John 73.34 Garbled text: Change "is" to "in". Revise generally – Coffey "Feedback can be agree with contained is the QoS comment - TGax Control editor shall make the changes shown in 11-17/0777r0 that are marked with CID 6353. 6354 John 74.04 Anthropomorphism: Reword to remove Reject is – Coffey "the TWT requesting the corporations are STA expects". The people, then it STA is an object and follows that STAs does not "expect" are people, see anything. USA supreme court cases which established these facts almost 200 17 years ago: – U.S. 518 (1819) 125 U.S. and – 181 (1888) also – note that neither the 802.11 style guide nor the IEEE SA style guide
6350 John Coffey 71.04 Unclear wording: "... contains 0s as the TWT ..." looks at first sight as if the TWT whatever contains 0s. In context it seems that the "as" means "because" here. The stray clause tacked on at the end by a comma doesn't help. Change "as" to "because". Revise – generally agree with comment but language is changed significantly - TGax editor shall make the changes shown in 11-17/0777r0 that are marked with CID 6350. 6351 John Coffey 71.04 The sentence in the column has independent clasues linked by a comma without a coordinating conjunction. This is ungrammatical usage and it hurts clarity. Change the comma to a semicolon. Revise – generally agree with comment - TGax editor shall make the changes shown in 11-17/0777r0 that are marked with CID 6351. 6352 John Coffey 73.09 Garbled text: "Feedback can be contained is the QoS Control Change "is" to "in". Revise – generally with comment - TGax editor shall make the changes shown in that are marked with CID 6352. 6353 John Coffey 73.34 Garbled text: "Feedback can be contained is the QoS Control Change "is" to "in". Revise – generally agree with comment - TGax editor shall make the changes shown in 11-17/0777r0 that are marked with CID 6353. 6354 John Coffey 74.04 Anthropomorphism: "the TWT requesting STA expects". The STA is an object and does not "expect" anything. Reword to remove the Reject – is corporations are people, then it follows that STAs are people, see USA supreme court cases which established these facts almost 200 years ago: – 17 U.S. 518 (1819) and – 125 U.S. 181 (1888) – also note that neither the 802.11 style guide nor the IEEE SA style guide 0