Boers, in his book, Never Call Them Jerks, asserts that pastors and church leaders need to resist the temptation in the midst of frustration to simply call difficult people jerks. Difficult people often show symptoms of dysfunction related to unresolved family issues. The behavior of difficult people is often projections. Dealing with difficult people remains challenging work for a pastor. As a retreat summary, the many ways to increase self-differentiation were discussed. First, awareness and discovery increases self-differentiation. Second, applying the spiritual disciplines helps to increase self-differentiation. Thirdly, setting appropriate boundaries for nuclear family relationships and church family relationships helps manage issues around fusion and the dynamics of triangles. Fourthly, developing a proactive strategy for conflict resolution helps to maintain and increase self-differentiation. Fifthly, for the PSDL being involved in Christian Conferencing provides a forum for the nurture of healthy self-differentiation. Sixthly, the power of one's dark side can be harnessed towards a positive strategy for leadership and healthy self-differentiation. The PSDL continues to apply strategies towards nurturing a healthy sense of self as one component of self-care. The six counter points to increasing self-differentiation were stated to reinforce the conclusions. If a person is unaware of the concept of self-differentiation its application becomes random. To neglect the practice of spiritual disciplines has many ramifications including the depreciation of self-differentiation. Blurred and confused relationship boundaries, with nuclear family and congregational families, increases anxiety and diminishes self-differentiation. Without a proactive conflict resolution strategy, the mode of response to conflict seems arbitrary
Boers, in his book, Never Call Them Jerks, asserts that pastors and church leaders need to resist the temptation in the midst of frustration to simply call difficult people jerks. Difficult people often show symptoms of dysfunction related to unresolved family issues. The behavior of difficult people is often projections. Dealing with difficult people remains challenging work for a pastor. As a retreat summary, the many ways to increase self-differentiation were discussed. First, awareness and discovery increases self-differentiation. Second, applying the spiritual disciplines helps to increase self-differentiation. Thirdly, setting appropriate boundaries for nuclear family relationships and church family relationships helps manage issues around fusion and the dynamics of triangles. Fourthly, developing a proactive strategy for conflict resolution helps to maintain and increase self-differentiation. Fifthly, for the PSDL being involved in Christian Conferencing provides a forum for the nurture of healthy self-differentiation. Sixthly, the power of one's dark side can be harnessed towards a positive strategy for leadership and healthy self-differentiation. The PSDL continues to apply strategies towards nurturing a healthy sense of self as one component of self-care. The six counter points to increasing self-differentiation were stated to reinforce the conclusions. If a person is unaware of the concept of self-differentiation its application becomes random. To neglect the practice of spiritual disciplines has many ramifications including the depreciation of self-differentiation. Blurred and confused relationship boundaries, with nuclear family and congregational families, increases anxiety and diminishes self-differentiation. Without a proactive conflict resolution strategy, the mode of response to conflict seems arbitrary