How to Listen so Parents will Talk and Talk so Parents will Listen John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D. Department of Counselor Education University of Montana Johnsommersflanagan.com The following is an outline of key points for John Sommers-Flanagan’s break-out session for Communities in Schools of North Carolina, Charlotte, NC, August 7, 2013 Supplementary resources are listed below. Working with Parents: Parents are a unique population; to work with them effectively requires a unique approach and special skills. A Way of Being with Parents: Parents need counselors, teachers, and other helping professionals to show empathy, display radical acceptance, and use collaborative approaches that emphasize working WITH and not ON parents. Empathy: There are two forms of empathy with parents: General empathy for the challenges of being a parent and specific empathy for the individual parent’s circumstances. Radical Acceptance: Radical acceptance is both an attitude and a technique. It means you’re able to experience and communicate: “I completely accept you as you are and am fully committed to helping you change for the better.” Collaboration: At the minimum, to work collaboratively requires that you honor the knowledge and skills of the parents with whom you’re working. Self-Preparation: You need to get emotionally prepared to work with parents because they’re very capable of pushing your emotional buttons. Intitial Contact, Connection, and Assessment: Parents need comfort and support to help them get comfortable. Be sure to get a specific problem definition, identify goals, and watch out for backward behavior modification. Four General Therapeutic Strategies: include (1) focusing on parental strengths, (2) noticing parallel process, (3) collaborative goal-setting, and (4) keeping the focus on social and psychological factors. Four Approaches to Parental Influence: These include: (1) direct power, (2) indirect power, (3) problem-solving power, and (4) relationship power. Practical Parenting Interventions: There are many practical parenting interventions. In this break-out session we review (1) The New Attitude, (2) Grandma’s Rule, (3) Character Feedback, (4) Mutual Problem-Solving, and (5) Seven Magic Choice Theory Words. For information on additional interventions, tip sheets, homework assignments, and more, check out either: or the book, How to Listen so Parents will Talk and Talk so Parents will Listen on Amazon or any other bookselling website.
How to Listen so Parents will Talk and Talk so Parents will Listen John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D. Department of Counselor Education University of Montana Johnsommersflanagan.com The following is an outline of key points for John Sommers-Flanagan’s break-out session for Communities in Schools of North Carolina, Charlotte, NC, August 7, 2013 Supplementary resources are listed below. Working with Parents: Parents are a unique population; to work with them effectively requires a unique approach and special skills. A Way of Being with Parents: Parents need counselors, teachers, and other helping professionals to show empathy, display radical acceptance, and use collaborative approaches that emphasize working WITH and not ON parents. Empathy: There are two forms of empathy with parents: General empathy for the challenges of being a parent and specific empathy for the individual parent’s circumstances. Radical Acceptance: Radical acceptance is both an attitude and a technique. It means you’re able to experience and communicate: “I completely accept you as you are and am fully committed to helping you change for the better.” Collaboration: At the minimum, to work collaboratively requires that you honor the knowledge and skills of the parents with whom you’re working. Self-Preparation: You need to get emotionally prepared to work with parents because they’re very capable of pushing your emotional buttons. Intitial Contact, Connection, and Assessment: Parents need comfort and support to help them get comfortable. Be sure to get a specific problem definition, identify goals, and watch out for backward behavior modification. Four General Therapeutic Strategies: include (1) focusing on parental strengths, (2) noticing parallel process, (3) collaborative goal-setting, and (4) keeping the focus on social and psychological factors. Four Approaches to Parental Influence: These include: (1) direct power, (2) indirect power, (3) problem-solving power, and (4) relationship power. Practical Parenting Interventions: There are many practical parenting interventions. In this break-out session we review (1) The New Attitude, (2) Grandma’s Rule, (3) Character Feedback, (4) Mutual Problem-Solving, and (5) Seven Magic Choice Theory Words. For information on additional interventions, tip sheets, homework assignments, and more, check out either: or the book, How to Listen so Parents will Talk and Talk so Parents will Listen on Amazon or any other bookselling website.